Named characters
9056 [NARRATOR]
1840 Mr. Rochester (327)/Rochester (5)/The present Mr. Rochester (2)/Rowland (2)/Mr. Rowland Rochester (1)/Old Mr. Rochester (1)/Mr. Rowland (1)/Of Mr. Rochester (1)
1272 St. John (91)/Mr. Rivers (31)/John (21)/Mr. St. John (21)/St. John Rivers (6)/Rivers (5)/Mr. John (4)/Master John (2)/old Mr. Rivers (1)/Mr. St. John Rivers (1)/this St. John (1)/John Rivers (1)
1130 Jane (239)/Miss Eyre (44)/Jane Eyre (37)/Miss Jane (11)/Eyre (3)/JANE EYRE (2)/Miss Jane Eyre (1)/Poor Miss Jane (1)/O Miss Jane (1)/dear Jane (1)/a Miss Eyre (1)/cousin Jane Eyre (1)/the Jane Eyre (1)
546 Adele (127)/little Adele (5)/Miss Adele (2)/Little Adele (1)
519 Bessie (125)/Leah (27)/Loose Bessie (1)/Bessie Lee (1)/Miss. Bessie (1)
318 Mrs. Fairfax (98)/God (78)/God Mrs. Fairfax (1)/tranquil Mrs. Fairfax (1)/simple dame Fairfax (1)/Good God (1)/kind Mrs. Fairfax (1)
315 Helen (41)/Helen Burns (20)/Burns (12)
301 Mrs. Reed (77)/Reed (4)/Dear Mrs. Reed (1)
290 Miss Ingram (57)/Ingram (2)/The dowagers Ingram (1)/the beautiful Miss Ingram (1)
272 Mary (62)/Hannah (39)/Mary Ann Wilson (2)/Mary Ann (2)
188 Miss Temple (63)
183 Diana (75)/Diana Rivers (1)
137 Mr. Brocklehurst (45)/Brocklehurst (2)/Master Broughton Brocklehurst (1)
129 John (14)/John Reed (11)
126 Eliza (29)/Lizzy (1)/cousin Eliza (1)/Elizabeth (1)
125 Georgiana (29)/Georgiana Reed (1)/a Georgiana Reed of the same place (1)
124 Mason (26)/Mr. Mason (23)
115 DEAR Helen (1)/Helen (1)
105 Mrs. Fairfax (19)/Blanche (11)/Blanche Ingram (4)/the Honourable Blanche (1)/the beautiful Blanche (1)/Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram (1)
94 Grace Poole (21)/Grace (14)/any Grace (1)
84 Jane (24)/Jane Rochester (3)
80 Colonel Dent (15)/Mrs. Dent (7)/Dent (2)/Mrs. Colonel Dent (1)/the gentle Mrs. Dent (1)/Colonel (1)
79 Janet (20)/Jeannette (1)
69 Missis (18)
63 Rosamond (8)/Rosamond Oliver (6)
62 Mr. St John (1)/ST . JOHN (1)/St John (1)
60 Miss Oliver (11)
54 Mrs. Rochester (7)/a Mrs. Rochester (2)/young Mrs. Rochester (1)
52 Mr. Edward (10)/Edward (5)/Poor Mr. Edward (1)
46 Lady Ingram (6)/the Dowager Lady Ingram (1)/The Dowager (1)/the Dowager Ingram (1)
45 Jane (11)/Miss Reed (4)/Miss Jane (3)/Reed (1)/Miss Jane Reed (1)
44 Richard (6)/Frederick Lynn (2)/Mary (1)/Mr. Frederick Lynn (1)/Lynn (1)
43 John (5)/St. John (3)/John Eyre (2)/JOHN EYRE (1)/St. John Eyre Rivers (1)/Eyre (1)
42 Louisa (10)/Louisa Eshton (5)
41 St. John (3)/This St. John (1)
40 Miss Miller (23)
40 Celine (9)/Celine Varens (4)/Varens (2)/the Varens (2)
39 Miss Scatcherd (23)
37 Mr. Lloyd (12)
37 Sophie (27)
37 Mr. Briggs (8)/Briggs (6)/one Mr. Briggs (1)
36 Pilot (23)
31 Mademoiselle (3)/Mademoiselle Adela (1)
30 Abbot (14)/Miss Abbot (9)/the fervent Abbot (1)
30 Mrs. Poole (11)
30 Mr. Oliver (11)/the rich Mr. Oliver (1)
26 Mr. Reed (7)/Master Reed (2)/Reed (1)
26 Mama (2)
25 Miss Georgiana (6)/Georgiana (6)
24 Lord Ingram (6)/Old Lord Ingram (1)/The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram (1)
23 Mesdames (1)
22 Robert (6)/Robert Leaven (2)/little Robert (1)
22 the Sibyl (1)/Sibyl (1)
21 Mr. Eyre (4)/Madeira (2)/a Mr. Eyre (1)/Mr. Eyre of Madeira (1)
19 Carter (11)/Mr. Carter (2)
19 Miss Mason (1)
17 Fairfax Rochester (3)/Fairfax (2)/Monsieur Edouard Fairfax DE Rochester (1)/Monsieur Rochester (1)
16 Sam (12)/Samson (3)/Samuel (1)
16 Miss Varens (2)/Varens (1)
16 Mary (5)/Lady Lynn (4)
16 Wood (4)/Mr. Wood (3)/Presently Mr. Wood (1)
16 Edward Fairfax Rochester (3)/Edward Rochester (1)/Edward (1)
16 Bertha Mason (4)/Mason (4)/Bertha (2)/Bertha Antoinetta Mason (1)/Antoinetta (1)
15 Miss Smith (6)
15 Reader (4)/CONCLUSION Reader (1)
15 Mary (7)/Mary Rivers (4)
14 Mr. Eshton (7)/Eshton (1)
14 Mrs. Eshton (6)
14 Mrs. Reed of Gateshead (1)/Mrs. Reed (1)
13 Providence (8)
13 Mary Ingram (5)/Lynn (1)/Mary (1)
13 Amy (5)/Amy Eshton (5)
13 Damer de Rochester (2)
13 Papa (2)/papa (1)
12 Carlo (5)/old Carlo (2)
12 Miss Rosamond (1)
11 God (9)/Good God (1)
10 Sir George Lynn (5)/Sir George (1)
9 Aunt Reed (5)/Reed (1)
9 Lowood (5)/directs Lowood (1)
9 Hope (2)
9 Madame Joubert (2)
8 Mr. Bates (3)
8 the Rochesters (4)
8 Miss Adela (1)/Adela (1)
8 Tedo (2)
8 Franz (2)
8 Jane Elliott (2)/Jane (2)/a Jane Elliott (1)
8 John (6)/Old John (1)
7 Christ (3)
7 Henry (2)/Henry Lynn (2)/Mary (2)/Mr. Henry Lynn (1)
7 Madame Pierrot (5)
7 Miss Gryce (2)
7 Jesus (2)/Lord Jesus (1)
6 the Reeds (2)/The Miss Reeds (1)
6 Augusta (2)
6 Julia Severn (2)/Julia (1)
6 Barbara (4)
6 The Ladies Lynn (1)
6 Clara (3)
6 Little Jane (1)/Jane (1)
6 Morton (6)
6 Hindostanee (6)
5 Ahab (2)
5 Theodore (3)
5 Miss Mary (1)/Mary (1)
4 Thackeray (1)/Mr. Thackeray (1)
4 the Misses Reed (1)
4 Charles the First (1)/Charles (1)
4 J.E. (4)
4 Bobby (3)
4 the Eyres (1)
4 Reason (2)
4 Messalina (1)
4 Giacinta (3)
4 Miss Elliott (1)
3 Micaiah (1)
3 Fielding (3)
3 Sarah (2)/Sarah Reed (1)
3 Gulliver (3)
3 Daniel (1)/old Daniel (1)
3 Rasselas (3)
3 Mrs. Harden (2)
3 Mrs. Leaven (2)
3 Miss Fairfax (2)
3 Thornfield (3)
3 Madame Frederic (2)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Heaven (3)
3 Bessie Leaven (1)/Bessie (1)
3 Mr. Vining (1)
3 the Misses Eshton (3)
3 Satan (1)
3 Dick (3)
3 Gibson (1)/Mr. Gibson (1)
3 Hillo (1)
3 Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall of Bitternutt Lodge (1)/Mrs. O'Gall (1)/Bitternutt Lodge (1)
3 Marmion (3)
3 Charity (2)
3 Sir Frederic Granby (1)/Sir Frederic (1)
3 Letters (1)
2 CURRER BELL (2)
2 Bewick (2)
2 Georgy (1)
2 Jack (1)/the said Jack (1)
2 Rat (2)
2 Uncle Reed (1)
2 Job (2)
2 Naomi Brocklehurst (2)
2 Adela Varens (1)
2 Fortune (2)
2 Accordingly (1)
2 Humph (2)
2 Nature (2)
2 TRAILING Mrs. Dent (1)/Mrs. Dent (1)
2 French (1)/the French (1)
2 Miss Wilson (2)
2 black Bothwell (1)/Bothwell (1)
2 James Hepburn (1)
2 Bridewell (1)
2 Mrs. Lynn (1)
2 Chance (2)
2 Luke (1)
2 old Madam Reed (1)
2 One (1)
2 Alice (1)/Alice Fairfax (1)
2 Jonas Mason (1)
2 John Green (1)/John (1)
2 Ware (1)
2 Want (1)
2 Varry (1)
2 Old Mr. Rivers (1)/the Rivers (1)
2 the Apostles (1)
2 Christian (2)
2 Die (2)
2 Mary Garrett (1)/Mary (1)
2 St. Paul (1)/Paul (1)
2 Dives (1)
2 Saul (1)
2 Apollo (1)
Major entities (proper, common)
FAC
33 Thornfield Hall
14 Moor House/Moor House kitchen
5 Vale Hall
4 Gateshead Hall
4 Lowood
4 Marsh End
3 Hay Lane
3 Morton school/Morton
2 Gateshead Church
2 Lowood school/Lowood School
79 the house/The house
76 the room/The room
56 here
55 home
45 the hall/the Hall/The hall
29 there
26 school
26 upstairs
23 the schoolroom
22 the library/The library
GPE
59 Thornfield
38 England
35 Gateshead
28 Lowood
27 Millcote
20 London
17 India
12 Morton
10 Lowton
7 Madeira
13 there
6 town
6 the village
4 the district
3 the place
3 this place/This place
2 towns
2 here
2 the town
2 Spanish Town
LOC
5 the Continent
2 the West Indies
2 Marsh Glen
2 Heaven
1 British Birds
1 the Lindeness
1 the North Cape
1 the Northern Ocean
1 farthest Thule
1 Lapland
43 the world/The world/the World
10 earth
10 the earth
7 the hill
6 heaven/Heaven
6 this world/This world
6 the wood
5 the sea
5 the moor
4 the woods
PER
343 Jane/Miss Eyre/Jane Eyre/Miss Jane/Eyre/JANE EYRE/Miss Jane Eyre/Poor Miss Jane/O Miss Jane/dear Jane/a Miss Eyre/cousin Jane Eyre/the Jane Eyre
340 Mr. Rochester/Rochester/The present Mr. Rochester/Rowland/Mr. Rowland Rochester/Old Mr. Rochester/Mr. Rowland/Of Mr. Rochester
185 St. John/Mr. Rivers/John/Mr. St. John/St. John Rivers/Rivers/Mr. John/Master John/old Mr. Rivers/Mr. St. John Rivers/this St. John/John Rivers
181 Mrs. Fairfax/God/God Mrs. Fairfax/tranquil Mrs. Fairfax/simple dame Fairfax/Good God/kind Mrs. Fairfax
155 Bessie/Leah/Loose Bessie/Bessie Lee/Miss. Bessie
135 Adele/little Adele/Miss Adele/Little Adele
105 Mary/Hannah/Mary Ann Wilson/Mary Ann
82 Mrs. Reed/Reed/Dear Mrs. Reed
76 Diana/Diana Rivers
73 Helen/Helen Burns/Burns
306 sir/Sir
33 no one/No one
33 one/One
31 ma'am
28 my master/My Master/My master/my Master
26 the ladies/The ladies
25 the servants/The servants
23 reader/Reader
22 man/Man
21 a man
ORG
2 The school/the school
1 the whole school
1 the institution
1 that institution
1 my own society
1 a charitable institution
1 that church
1 the ministry
1 The -th regiment
1 the establishment
VEH
16 the carriage/The carriage
14 the coach/The coach
5 a coach
5 the vehicle/The vehicle
3 a carriage
2 carriage
1 The two ships
1 his carriage
1 the coming coach
1 the ship
Text
[Jane Eyre]146-jane by [Charlotte Bronte]147-charlotte bronte PREFACE A preface to the first edition of " [Jane Eyre]146-jane "[0-i] being unnecessary , [I]0-i gave none : this second edition demands a few words both of acknowledgment and miscellaneous remark . [My]0-i thanks are due in three quarters . To [the Public]462-the public , for the indulgent ear it has inclined to a plain tale with few pretensions . To the Press , for [the fair field [its]464-its honest suffrage]463-the fair field its honest suffrage has opened to an obscure aspirant . To [[my]0-i Publishers]465-my publishers , for the aid [their]465-my publishers tact , [their]465-my publishers energy , [their]465-my publishers practical sense and frank liberality have afforded [an unknown and unrecommended Author]466-an unknown and unrecommended author . The Press and [the Public]462-the public are but vague personifications for [me]0-i , and [I]0-i must thank [them]465-my publishers in vague terms ; but [[my]0-i Publishers]465-my publishers are definite : so are [certain generous critics who have encouraged [me]0-i as [only large - hearted and high - minded men]470-only large - hearted and high - minded men know how to encourage [a struggling stranger]471-a struggling stranger]469-certain generous critics who have encouraged me as only large - hearted and high - minded men know how to encourage a struggling stranger ; to [them]469-certain generous critics who have encouraged me as only large - hearted and high - minded men know how to encourage a struggling stranger , [i.e.]472-i.e. , to [[my]0-i Publishers]465-my publishers and [the select Reviewers]474-the select reviewers , [I]0-i say cordially , [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen , [I]0-i thank [you]475-gentlemen from [my]0-i heart . Having thus acknowledged what [I]0-i owe those who have aided and approved [me]0-i , [I]0-i turn to [another class]476-another class ; a small one , so far as [I]0-i know , but not , therefore , to be overlooked . [I]0-i mean [the timorous or carping few who doubt the tendency of such books]477-the timorous or carping few who doubt the tendency of such books as " [Jane Eyre]146-jane : "[0-i] in whose eyes whatever is unusual is wrong ; whose ears detect in each protest against bigotry - that parent of crime - an insult to piety , that regent of God on [earth]478-earth . [I]0-i would suggest to [such doubters certain obvious distinctions]479-such doubters certain obvious distinctions ; [I]0-i would remind [them]480-them of certain simple truths . Conventionality is not morality . Self - righteousness is not religion . To attack the first is not to assail the last . To pluck the mask from the face of [the Pharisee]481-the pharisee , is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns . These things and deeds are diametrically opposed : they are as distinct as is vice from virtue . [Men]482-men too often confound [them]480-them : [they]480-them should not be confounded : appearance should not be mistaken for truth ; narrow human doctrines , that only tend to elate and magnify a few , should not be substituted for the world - redeeming creed of [Christ]148-christ . There is - [I]0-i repeat it - a difference ; and it is a good , and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between [them]483-them . [The world]484-the world may not like to see these ideas dissevered , for it has been accustomed to blend them ; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth - to let white - washed walls vouch for [clean shrines]485-clean shrines . It may hate [him]486-him who dares to scrutinise and expose - to rase the gilding , and show base metal under it - to penetrate the sepulchre , and reveal charnel relics : but hate as it will , it is indebted to [him]486-him . [Ahab]149-ahab did not like [Micaiah]150-micaiah , because [he]150-micaiah never prophesied good concerning [him]150-micaiah , but evil ; probably [he]149-ahab liked [the sycophant son of [Chenaannah]151-chenaannah]487-the sycophant son of chenaannah better ; yet might [Ahab]149-ahab have escaped a bloody death , had [he]149-ahab but stopped [his]149-ahab ears to flattery , and opened them to faithful counsel . There is [a man in [our]489-our own days whose words are not framed to tickle delicate ears : who , to [my]0-i thinking , comes before [the great ones of society]490-the great ones of society , much as [the son of [Imlah]152-imlah]491-the son of imlah came before [the throned Kings of [Judah]1-judah and [Israel]2-israel]492-the throned kings of judah and israel ; and who speaks truth as deep , with a power as prophet - like and as vital - a mien as dauntless and as daring . Is [the satirist of " Vanity Fair "]4301-the satirist of " vanity fair "[4301-the satirist of " vanity fair "] admired in high places ? [I]0-i can not tell ; but [I]0-i think if [some of those amongst whom [he]494-his hurls the Greek fire of [his]494-his sarcasm , and over whom [he]494-his flashes the levin - brand of [his]494-his denunciation]493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation]488-a man in our own days whose words are not framed to tickle delicate ears : who , to my thinking , comes before the great ones of society , much as the son of imlah came before the throned kings of judah and israel ; and who speaks truth as deep , with a power as prophet - like and as vital - a mien as dauntless and as daring . is the satirist of " vanity fair " admired in high places ? i can not tell ; but i think if some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation , were to take [his]494-his warnings in time - [they]493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation or [their]493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation seed might yet escape a fatal Rimoth - [Gilead]3-gilead . Why have [I]0-i alluded to [this man]495-this man ? [I]0-i have alluded to [him]494-his , [Reader]496-reader , because [I]0-i think [I]0-i see in [him]494-his an intellect profounder and more unique than [[his]494-his contemporaries]497-his contemporaries have yet recognised ; because [I]0-i regard [him]494-his as [the first social regenerator of the day]498-the first social regenerator of the day - as [the very master of [that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things]500-that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things]499-the very master of that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things ; because [I]0-i think [no commentator]501-no commentator on [his]494-his writings has yet found the comparison that suits [him]494-his , the terms which rightly characterise [his]494-his talent . [They]502-they say [he]494-his is like [Fielding]153-fielding : [they]502-they talk of [his]494-his wit , humour , comic powers . [He]494-his resembles [Fielding]153-fielding as an eagle does a vulture : [Fielding]153-fielding could stoop on carrion , but [Thackeray]154-thackeray never does . [His]494-his wit is bright , [his]494-his humour attractive , but both bear the same relation to [his]494-his serious genius that the mere lambent sheet - lightning playing under the edge of the summer - cloud does to the electric death - spark hid in its womb . Finally , [I]0-i have alluded to [Mr. Thackeray]154-thackeray , because to [him]154-thackeray - if [he]154-thackeray will accept the tribute of [a total stranger]503-a total stranger - [I]0-i have dedicated this second edition of " [JANE EYRE]146-jane . "[155-currer bell] [CURRER BELL]155-currer bell . December 21st , 1847 . NOTE TO THE THIRD EDITION [I]0-i avail [myself]0-i of the opportunity which a third edition of " [Jane Eyre]146-jane "[155-currer bell] affords [me]0-i , of again addressing a word to [the Public]462-the public , to explain that [my]0-i claim to the title of [novelist]505-novelist rests on this one work alone . If , therefore , the authorship of other works of fiction has been attributed to [me]0-i , an honour is awarded where it is not merited ; and consequently , denied where it is justly due . This explanation will serve to rectify mistakes which may already have been made , and to prevent future errors . [CURRER BELL]155-currer bell . April 13th , 1848 . CHAPTER [I]0-i There was no possibility of taking a walk that day . [We]506-we had been wandering , indeed , in [the leafless shrubbery]507-the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning ; but since dinner [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , when there was [no company]508-no company , dined early the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre , and a rain so penetrating , that further out - door exercise was now out of the question . [I]0-i was glad of it : [I]0-i never liked long walks , especially on chilly afternoons : dreadful to [me]0-i was the coming [home]509-home in the raw twilight , with nipped fingers and toes , and a heart saddened by the chidings of [Bessie]195-bessie , [the nurse]510-the nurse , and humbled by the consciousness of [my]0-i physical inferiority to [Eliza]158-eliza , [John]159-john , and [Georgiana Reed]160-georgiana . The said [Eliza]158-eliza , [John]159-john , and [Georgiana]160-georgiana were now clustered round [[their]511-their mama]512-their mama in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room : [she]512-their mama lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside , and with [[her]512-their mama darlings]514-her darlings about [her]512-their mama for the time neither quarrelling nor crying looked perfectly happy . [Me]0-i , [she]512-their mama had dispensed from joining [the group]515-the group ; saying , " [She]512-their mama regretted to be under the necessity of keeping [me]512-their mama at a distance ; but that until [she]512-their mama heard from [Bessie]195-bessie , and could discover by [her]512-their mama own observation , that [I]512-their mama was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition , a more attractive and sprightly manner - something lighter , franker , more natural , as it were - [she]512-their mama really must exclude [me]512-their mama from privileges intended only for [contented , happy , little children]4302-contented , happy , little children . "[512-their mama] " What does [Bessie]195-bessie say [I]0-i have done ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " [Jane]146-jane , [I]512-their mama do n't like [cavillers]4303-cavillers or [questioners]4304-questioners ; besides , there is something truly forbidding in [a child]4305-a child taking up [her]4305-a child elders in that manner . Be seated somewhere ; and until [you]146-jane can speak pleasantly , remain silent . "[512-their mama] [A breakfast - room]516-a breakfast - room adjoined [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room , [I]0-i slipped in there . [It]516-a breakfast - room contained a bookcase : [I]0-i soon possessed [myself]0-i of a volume , taking care that it should be one stored with pictures . [I]0-i mounted into the window - seat : gathering up [my]0-i feet , [I]0-i sat cross - legged , like [a Turk]518-a turk ; and , having drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close , [I]0-i was shrined in double retirement . Folds of scarlet drapery shut in [my]0-i view to the right hand ; to the left were the clear panes of glass , protecting , but not separating [me]0-i from the drear November day . At intervals , while turning over the leaves of [my]0-i book , [I]0-i studied the aspect of that winter afternoon . Afar , it offered a pale blank of mist and cloud ; near [a scene of wet lawn and storm - beat shrub]519-a scene of wet lawn and storm - beat shrub , with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and lamentable blast . [I]0-i returned to [my]0-i book - [Bewick]161-bewick 's History of [British Birds]4-british birds : the letterpress thereof [I]0-i cared little for , generally speaking ; and yet there were certain introductory pages that , child as [I]0-i was , [I]0-i could not pass quite as a blank . They were those which treat of the haunts of [sea - fowl]520-sea - fowl ; of " the solitary rocks and promontories "[520-sea - fowl] by [them]520-sea - fowl only inhabited ; of [the coast of [Norway]5-norway]521-the coast of norway , studded with isles from [its]521-the coast of norway [southern extremity]522-southern extremity , [the Lindeness]6-the lindeness , or [Naze]7-naze , to [the North Cape]8-the north cape - " Where [the Northern Ocean]9-the northern ocean , in vast whirls , Boils round [the naked , melancholy isles Of [farthest Thule]10-farthest thule]4306-the naked , melancholy isles of farthest thule ; and the Atlantic surge Pours in among [the stormy Hebrides]4307-the stormy hebrides . "[520-sea - fowl] Nor could [I]0-i pass unnoticed the suggestion of [the bleak shores of [Lapland]11-lapland]523-the bleak shores of lapland , [Siberia]12-siberia , [Spitzbergen]13-spitzbergen , [Nova Zembla]14-nova zembla , [Iceland]15-iceland , [Greenland]16-greenland , with " [the vast sweep of [the Arctic Zone]4309-the arctic zone]4308-the vast sweep of the arctic zone , and [those forlorn regions of dreary space]4310-those forlorn regions of dreary space , - that reservoir of frost and snow , where firm fields of ice , the accumulation of centuries of winters , glazed in Alpine heights above heights , surround the pole , and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold . "[520-sea - fowl] Of these death - white realms [I]0-i formed an idea of [my]0-i own : shadowy , like all the half - comprehended notions that float dim through [children]524-children 's brains , but strangely impressive . The words in these introductory pages connected themselves with the succeeding vignettes , and gave significance to the rock standing up alone in [a sea of billow and spray]525-a sea of billow and spray ; to the broken boat stranded on [a desolate coast]526-a desolate coast ; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing through bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking . [I]0-i can not tell what sentiment haunted [the quite solitary churchyard]527-the quite solitary churchyard , with [its]527-the quite solitary churchyard inscribed headstone ; [its]527-the quite solitary churchyard gate , [its]527-the quite solitary churchyard two trees , [its]527-the quite solitary churchyard low horizon , girdled by a broken wall , and [its]527-the quite solitary churchyard newly - risen crescent , attesting the hour of eventide . [The two ships]528-the two ships becalmed on [a torpid sea]529-a torpid sea , [I]0-i believed to be marine phantoms . [The fiend]530-the fiend pinning down [the thief]531-the thief 's pack behind [him]530-the fiend , [I]0-i passed over quickly : it was an object of terror . So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock , surveying [a distant crowd surrounding a gallows]532-a distant crowd surrounding a gallows . Each picture told a story ; mysterious often to [my]0-i undeveloped understanding and imperfect feelings , yet ever profoundly interesting : as interesting as the tales [Bessie]195-bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings , when [she]195-bessie chanced to be in good humour ; and when , having brought [her]195-bessie ironing - table to the nursery hearth , [she]195-bessie allowed [us]533-us to sit about it , and while [she]195-bessie got up [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's lace frills , and crimped [her]195-bessie nightcap borders , fed [our]533-us eager attention with passages of love and adventure taken from old fairy tales and other ballads ; or as at a later period [I]0-i discovered from the pages of [Pamela]162-pamela , and [Henry]163-henry , [Earl of Moreland]164-earl of moreland . With [Bewick]161-bewick on [my]0-i knee , [I]0-i was then happy : happy at least in [my]0-i way . [I]0-i feared nothing but interruption , and that came too soon . [The breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room door opened . " Boh ! [Madam Mope]165-madam mope ! "[159-john] cried the voice of [John Reed]159-john ; then [he]159-john paused : [he]159-john found [the room]535-the room apparently empty . " Where the dickens is [she]195-bessie ! "[159-john] [he]159-john continued . " [Lizzy]158-eliza ! [Georgy]166-georgy ! calling to [[his]166-georgy sisters]4311-his sisters [Joan]167-joan is not [here]4312-here : tell [mama]4313-mama [she]195-bessie is run out into the rain - bad animal ! "[159-john] " It is well [I]0-i drew the curtain , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i ; and [I]0-i wished fervently [he]159-john might not discover [my]0-i hiding - place : nor would [John Reed]159-john have found it out [himself]159-john ; [he]159-john was not quick either of vision or conception ; but [Eliza]158-eliza just put [her]158-eliza head in at the door , and said at once - " [She]158-eliza is in the window - seat , to be sure , [Jack]168-jack . "[158-eliza] And [I]0-i came out immediately , for [I]0-i trembled at the idea of being dragged forth by [the said Jack]168-jack . " What do [you]159-john want ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked , with awkward diffidence . " Say , ' What do [you]159-john want , [Master Reed]169-mr. reed ? ' "[0-i] was the answer . " [I]159-john want [you]0-i to come here ; "[159-john] and seating [himself]159-john in an arm - chair , [he]159-john intimated by a gesture that [I]0-i was to approach and stand before [him]159-john . [John Reed]159-john was [a schoolboy of fourteen years old]536-a schoolboy of fourteen years old ; four years older than [I]0-i , for [I]0-i was but ten : large and stout for [his]159-john age , with a dingy and unwholesome skin ; thick lineaments in a spacious visage , heavy limbs and large extremities . [He]159-john gorged [himself]159-john habitually at table , which made [him]159-john bilious , and gave [him]159-john a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks . [He]159-john ought now to have been at [school]537-school ; but [[his]159-john mama]538-his mama had taken [him]159-john [home]509-home for a month or two , " on account of [his]159-john delicate health . "[170-mr. miles] [Mr. Miles]170-mr. miles , [the master]540-the master , affirmed that [he]159-john would do very well if [he]159-john had fewer cakes and sweetmeats sent [him]159-john from [home]509-home ; but [the mother]542-the mother 's heart turned from an opinion so harsh , and inclined rather to the more refined idea that [John]159-john 's sallowness was owing to over - application and , perhaps , to pining after [home]509-home . [John]159-john had not much affection for [[his]159-john mother]544-his mother and [sisters]545-sisters , and an antipathy to [me]0-i . [He]159-john bullied and punished [me]0-i ; not two or three times in the week , nor once or twice in the day , but continually : every nerve [I]0-i had feared [him]159-john , and every morsel of flesh in [my]0-i bones shrank when [he]159-john came near . There were moments when [I]0-i was bewildered by the terror [he]159-john inspired , because [I]0-i had no appeal whatever against either [his]159-john menaces or [his]159-john inflictions ; [the servants]546-the servants did not like to offend [[their]546-the servants young master]547-their young master by taking [my]0-i part against [him]159-john , and [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed was blind and deaf on the subject : [she]156-mrs. reed never saw [him]159-john strike or heard [him]159-john abuse [me]0-i , though [he]159-john did both now and then in [her]156-mrs. reed very presence , more frequently , however , behind [her]156-mrs. reed back . Habitually obedient to [John]159-john , [I]0-i came up to [his]159-john chair : [he]159-john spent some three minutes in thrusting out [his]159-john tongue at [me]0-i as far as [he]159-john could without damaging the roots : [I]0-i knew [he]159-john would soon strike , and while dreading the blow , [I]0-i mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of [him]159-john who would presently deal it . [I]0-i wonder if [he]159-john read that notion in [my]0-i face ; for , all at once , without speaking , [he]159-john struck suddenly and strongly . [I]0-i tottered , and on regaining [my]0-i equilibrium retired back a step or two from [his]159-john chair . " That is for [your]0-i impudence in answering [mama]4313-mama awhile since , "[159-john] said [he]159-john , " and for [your]0-i sneaking way of getting behind curtains , and for the look [you]0-i had in [your]0-i eyes two minutes since , [you]0-i rat ! "[159-john] Accustomed to [John Reed]159-john 's abuse , [I]0-i never had an idea of replying to it ; [my]0-i care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the insult . " What were [you]0-i doing behind the curtain ? "[159-john] [he]159-john asked . " [I]159-john was reading . "[159-john] " Show the book . "[0-i] [I]0-i returned to the window and fetched it thence . " [You]0-i have no business to take [our]4315-our books ; [you]0-i are [a dependent]4316-a dependent , [mama]4313-mama says ; [you]0-i have no money ; [[your]0-i father]4318-your father left [you]0-i none ; [you]0-i ought to beg , and not to live here with [[gentlemen]475-gentlemen 's children like [us]4315-our]4320-gentlemen 's children like us , and eat the same meals [we]4315-our do , and wear clothes at [[our]4315-our mama]4321-our mama 's expense . Now , [I]548-i 'll teach [you]0-i to rummage [my]548-i bookshelves : for they ARE mine ; all [the house]4322-the house belongs to [me]548-i , or will do in a few years . Go and stand by the door , out of the way of the mirror and the windows . "[548-i] [I]0-i did so , not at first aware what was [his]548-i intention ; but when [I]0-i saw [him]548-i lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it , [I]0-i instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm : not soon enough , however ; the volume was flung , it hit [me]0-i , and [I]0-i fell , striking [my]0-i head against the door and cutting it . The cut bled , the pain was sharp : [my]0-i terror had passed its climax ; other feelings succeeded . " [Wicked and cruel boy]4323-wicked and cruel boy ! "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " [You]4323-wicked and cruel boy are like [a murderer]4324-a murderer - [you]4323-wicked and cruel boy are like [a slave - driver]4325-a slave - driver - [you]4323-wicked and cruel boy are like [the Roman emperors]4326-the roman emperors ! "[0-i] [I]0-i had read [Goldsmith]171-goldsmith 's History of [Rome]17-rome , and had formed [my]0-i opinion of [Nero]172-nero , [Caligula]173-caligula , c. Also [I]0-i had drawn parallels in silence , which [I]0-i never thought thus to have declared aloud . " What ! what ! "[549-he] [he]549-he cried . " Did [she]4327-she say that to [me]549-he ? Did [you]4323-wicked and cruel boy hear [her]4327-she , [Eliza]158-eliza and [Georgiana]160-georgiana ? Wo n't [I]549-he tell [mama]4313-mama ? but first - "[549-he] [He]549-he ran headlong at [me]0-i : [I]0-i felt [him]549-he grasp [my]0-i hair and [my]0-i shoulder : [he]549-he had closed with a desperate thing . [I]0-i really saw in [him]549-he [a tyrant]550-a tyrant , [a murderer]4324-a murderer . [I]0-i felt a drop or two of blood from [my]0-i head trickle down [my]0-i neck , and was sensible of somewhat pungent suffering : these sensations for the time predominated over fear , and [I]0-i received [him]549-he in frantic sort . [I]0-i do n't very well know what [I]0-i did with [my]0-i hands , but [he]549-he called [me]0-i " [Rat]174-rat ! [Rat]174-rat ! "[549-he] and bellowed out aloud . [Aid]175-aid was near [him]549-he : [Eliza]158-eliza and [Georgiana]160-georgiana had run for [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , who was gone [upstairs]552-upstairs : [she]156-mrs. reed now came upon the scene , followed by [Bessie]195-bessie and [[her]195-bessie maid]553-her maid [Abbot]176-abbot . [We]554-we were parted : [I]0-i heard the words - " [Dear]4329-dear ! dear ! What a fury to fly at [Master John]177-st. john ! "[156-mrs. reed] " Did ever [anybody]4330-anybody see such a picture of passion ! "[156-mrs. reed] Then [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed subjoined - " Take [her]156-mrs. reed away to [the red - room]4331-the red - room , and lock [her]156-mrs. reed in there . "[156-mrs. reed] Four hands were immediately laid upon [me]0-i , and [I]0-i was borne [upstairs]552-upstairs . CHAPTER II [I]0-i resisted all the way : a new thing for [me]0-i , and a circumstance which greatly strengthened the bad opinion [Bessie]195-bessie and [Miss Abbot]176-abbot were disposed to entertain of [me]0-i . The fact is , [I]0-i was a trifle beside [myself]0-i ; or rather OUT of [myself]0-i , as [the French]556-the french would say : [I]0-i was conscious that a moment 's mutiny had already rendered [me]0-i liable to strange penalties , and , like [any other rebel slave]557-any other rebel slave , [I]0-i felt resolved , in [my]0-i desperation , to go all lengths . " Hold [her]156-mrs. reed arms , [Miss Abbot]176-abbot : [she]156-mrs. reed 's like a mad cat . "[558-the lady's - maid] " For shame ! for shame ! "[558-the lady's - maid] cried [the lady's - maid]558-the lady's - maid . " What shocking conduct , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , to strike [a young gentleman]4332-a young gentleman , [[your]146-jane benefactress 's son]4333-your benefactress 's son ! [[Your]146-jane young master]4334-your young master . "[558-the lady's - maid] " [Master]4335-master ! How is [he]4334-your young master [[my]558-the lady's - maid master]4336-my master ? Am [I]558-the lady's - maid [a servant]4337-a servant ? "[558-the lady's - maid] " No ; [you]0-i are less than [a servant]4337-a servant , for [you]0-i do nothing for [your]0-i keep . There , sit down , and think over [your]0-i wickedness . "[559-they] [They]559-they had got [me]0-i by this time into [the apartment]560-the apartment indicated by [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , and had thrust [me]0-i upon a stool : [my]0-i impulse was to rise from it like a spring ; [their]559-they two pair of hands arrested [me]0-i instantly . " If [you]0-i do n't sit still , [you]0-i must be tied down , "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie . " [Miss Abbot]176-abbot , lend [me]195-bessie [your]0-i garters ; [she]176-abbot would break mine directly . "[195-bessie] [Miss Abbot]176-abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature . This preparation for bonds , and the additional ignominy it inferred , took a little of the excitement out of [me]0-i . " Do n't take them off , "[0-i] [I]0-i cried ; " [I]0-i will not stir . "[0-i] In guarantee whereof , [I]0-i attached [myself]0-i to [my]0-i seat by [my]0-i hands . " Mind [you]0-i do n't , "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie ; and when [she]195-bessie had ascertained that [I]0-i was really subsiding , [she]195-bessie loosened [her]195-bessie hold of [me]0-i ; then [she]195-bessie and [Miss Abbot]176-abbot stood with folded arms , looking darkly and doubtfully on [my]0-i face , as incredulous of [my]0-i sanity . " [She]195-bessie never did so before , "[195-bessie] at last said [Bessie]195-bessie , turning to [the Abigail]561-the abigail . " But it was always in [her]195-bessie , "[195-bessie] was the reply . " [I]195-bessie 've told [Missis]178-missis often [my]195-bessie opinion about [the child]4339-the child , and [Missis]178-missis agreed with [me]195-bessie . [She]4339-the child 's an underhand little thing : [I]195-bessie never saw [a girl of [her]4339-the child age]4340-a girl of her age with so much cover . "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie answered not ; but ere long , addressing [me]0-i , [she]195-bessie said - " [You]0-i ought to be aware , [Miss]4341-miss , that [you]0-i are under obligations to [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed : [she]156-mrs. reed keeps [you]0-i : if [she]156-mrs. reed were to turn [you]0-i off , [you]0-i would have to go to [the poorhouse]4342-the poorhouse . "[195-bessie] [I]0-i had nothing to say to these words : they were not new to [me]0-i : [my]0-i very first recollections of existence included hints of the same kind . This reproach of [my]0-i dependence had become a vague sing - song in [my]0-i ear : very painful and crushing , but only half intelligible . [Miss Abbot]176-abbot joined in - " And [you]0-i ought not to think [yourself]0-i on an equality with [the Misses Reed]179-the misses reed and [Master Reed]169-mr. reed , because [Missis]178-missis kindly allows [you]0-i to be brought up with [them]179-the misses reed . [They]179-the misses reed will have a great deal of money , and [you]0-i will have none : it is [your]0-i place to be humble , and to try to make [yourself]0-i agreeable to [them]179-the misses reed . "[176-abbot] " What [we]4343-we tell [you]0-i is for [your]0-i good , "[195-bessie] added [Bessie]195-bessie , in no harsh voice , " [you]0-i should try to be useful and pleasant , then , perhaps , [you]0-i would have [a home]4344-a home [here]4312-here ; but if [you]0-i become passionate and rude , [Missis]178-missis will send [you]0-i away , [I]195-bessie am sure . "[195-bessie] " Besides , "[176-abbot] said [Miss Abbot]176-abbot , " [God]180-mrs. fairfax will punish [her]178-missis : [He]4346-he might strike [her]178-missis dead in the midst of [her]178-missis tantrums , and then where would [she]178-missis go ? Come , [Bessie]195-bessie , [we]562-we will leave [her]178-missis : [I]176-abbot would n't have [her]178-missis heart for anything . Say [your]0-i prayers , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , when [you]0-i are by [yourself]0-i ; for if [you]0-i do n't repent , something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and fetch [you]0-i away . "[176-abbot] [They]562-we went , shutting the door , and locking it behind [them]562-we . [The red - room]4331-the red - room was [a square chamber]564-a square chamber , very seldom slept in , [I]0-i might say never , indeed , unless when a chance influx of visitors at [Gateshead Hall]18-gateshead hall rendered it necessary to turn to account [all the accommodation [it]4331-the red - room contained]565-all the accommodation it contained : yet [it]4331-the red - room was [one of [the largest and stateliest chambers in [the mansion]568-the mansion]567-the largest and stateliest chambers in the mansion]566-one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the mansion . A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany , hung with curtains of deep red damask , stood out like a tabernacle in the centre ; the two large windows , with [their]569-their blinds always drawn down , were half shrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery ; the carpet was red ; the table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth ; the walls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it ; the wardrobe , the toilet - table , the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany . Out of these deep surrounding shades rose high , and glared white , the piled - up mattresses and pillows of the bed , spread with a snowy Marseilles counterpane . Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy - chair near the head of the bed , also white , with a footstool before it ; and looking , as [I]0-i thought , like a pale throne . [This room]570-this room was chill , because [it]570-this room seldom had a fire ; [it]570-this room was silent , because remote from [the nursery]571-the nursery and [kitchen]572-kitchen ; solemn , because it was known to be so seldom entered . [The house - maid]573-the house - maid alone came here on Saturdays , to wipe from the mirrors and the furniture a week 's quiet dust : and [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed [herself]156-mrs. reed , at far intervals , visited [it]570-this room to review the contents of a certain secret drawer in [the wardrobe]574-the wardrobe , where were stored divers parchments , [her]156-mrs. reed jewel - casket , and a miniature of [[her]156-mrs. reed deceased husband]575-her deceased husband ; and in those last words lies the secret of [the red - room]4331-the red - room - the spell which kept [it]570-this room so lonely in spite of its grandeur . [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed had been dead nine years : it was in [this chamber]577-this chamber [he]169-mr. reed breathed [his]169-mr. reed last ; here [he]169-mr. reed lay in state ; hence [his]169-mr. reed coffin was borne by [[the undertaker]578-the undertaker 's men]579-the undertaker 's men ; and , since that day , a sense of dreary consecration had guarded [it]570-this room from frequent intrusion . [My]0-i seat , to which [Bessie]195-bessie and the bitter [Miss Abbot]176-abbot had left [me]0-i riveted , was a low ottoman near the marble chimney - piece ; the bed rose before [me]0-i ; to [my]0-i right hand there was [the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of [its]580-the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels panels]580-the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels ; to [my]0-i left were the muffled windows ; a great looking - glass between them repeated the vacant majesty of the bed and [room]581-room . [I]0-i was not quite sure whether [they]582-they had locked the door ; and when [I]0-i dared move , [I]0-i got up and went to see . Alas ! yes : [no jail]583-no jail was ever more secure . Returning , [I]0-i had to cross before the looking - glass ; [my]0-i fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed . All looked colder and darker in [that visionary hollow]584-that visionary hollow than in reality : and the strange little figure there gazing at [me]0-i , with a white face and arms specking the gloom , and glittering eyes of fear moving where all else was still , had the effect of a real spirit : [I]0-i thought it like one of the tiny phantoms , half fairy , half imp , [Bessie]195-bessie 's evening stories represented as coming out of [lone , ferny dells]585-lone , ferny dells in moors , and appearing before the eyes of [belated travellers]586-belated travellers . [I]0-i returned to [my]0-i stool . Superstition was with [me]0-i at that moment ; but it was not yet [her]195-bessie hour for complete victory : [my]0-i blood was still warm ; the mood of [the revolted slave]587-the revolted slave was still bracing [me]0-i with its bitter vigour ; [I]0-i had to stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought before [I]0-i quailed to the dismal present . All [John Reed]159-john 's violent tyrannies , all [[his]159-john sisters]4311-his sisters ' proud indifference , all [[his]159-john mother]544-his mother 's aversion , all [the servants]546-the servants ' partiality , turned up in [my]0-i disturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well . Why was [I]0-i always suffering , always browbeaten , always accused , for ever condemned ? Why could [I]0-i never please ? Why was it useless to try to win [any one]591-any one 's favour ? [Eliza]158-eliza , who was headstrong and selfish , was respected . [Georgiana]160-georgiana , who had a spoiled temper , a very acrid spite , [a captious and insolent carriage]592-a captious and insolent carriage , was universally indulged . [Her]160-georgiana beauty , [her]160-georgiana pink cheeks and golden curls , seemed to give delight to all who looked at [her]160-georgiana , and to purchase indemnity for every fault . [John]159-john [no one]593-no one thwarted , much less punished ; though [he]159-john twisted the necks of the pigeons , killed the little pea - chicks , set the dogs at the sheep , stripped the hothouse vines of [their]594-their fruit , and broke the buds off the choicest plants in [the conservatory]595-the conservatory : [he]159-john called [[his]159-john mother]544-his mother " [old girl]4347-old girl , "[159-john] too ; sometimes reviled [her]544-his mother for [her]544-his mother dark skin , similar to [his]159-john own ; bluntly disregarded [her]544-his mother wishes ; not unfrequently tore and spoiled [her]544-his mother silk attire ; and [he]159-john was still " [[her]544-his mother own darling]4348-her own darling . "[159-john] [I]0-i dared commit no fault : [I]0-i strove to fulfil every duty ; and [I]0-i was termed naughty and tiresome , sullen and sneaking , from morning to noon , and from noon to night . [My]0-i head still ached and bled with the blow and fall [I]0-i had received : [no one]593-no one had reproved [John]159-john for wantonly striking [me]0-i ; and because [I]0-i had turned against [him]159-john to avert farther irrational violence , [I]0-i was loaded with general opprobrium . " Unjust ! - unjust ! "[0-i] said [my]0-i reason , forced by the agonising stimulus into precocious though transitory power : and [Resolve]181-resolve , equally wrought up , instigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable oppression - as running away , or , if that could not be effected , never eating or drinking more , and letting [myself]0-i die . What a consternation of soul was [mine]0-i that dreary afternoon ! How all [my]0-i brain was in tumult , and all [my]0-i heart in insurrection ! Yet in what darkness , what dense ignorance , was the mental battle fought ! [I]0-i could not answer the ceaseless inward question - WHY [I]0-i thus suffered ; now , at the distance of - [I]0-i will not say how many years , [I]0-i see it clearly . [I]0-i was a discord in [Gateshead Hall]18-gateshead hall : [I]0-i was like [nobody there]598-nobody there ; [I]0-i had nothing in harmony with [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed or [[her]156-mrs. reed children]599-her children , or [her]156-mrs. reed chosen vassalage . If [they]600-their did not love [me]0-i , in fact , as little did [I]0-i love [them]600-their . [They]600-their were not bound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one amongst [them]600-their ; a heterogeneous thing , opposed to [them]600-their in temperament , in capacity , in propensities ; a useless thing , incapable of serving [their]600-their interest , or adding to [their]600-their pleasure ; a noxious thing , cherishing the germs of indignation at [their]600-their treatment , of contempt of [their]600-their judgment . [I]0-i know that had [I]0-i been [a sanguine , brilliant , careless , exacting , handsome , romping child]601-a sanguine , brilliant , careless , exacting , handsome , romping child - though equally dependent and friendless - [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed would have endured [my]0-i presence more complacently ; [[her]156-mrs. reed children]599-her children would have entertained for [me]0-i more of the cordiality of fellow - feeling ; [the servants]546-the servants would have been less prone to make [me]0-i [the scapegoat of [the nursery]571-the nursery]604-the scapegoat of the nursery . Daylight began to forsake [the red - room]4331-the red - room ; it was past four o'clock , and the beclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight . [I]0-i heard the rain still beating continuously on the staircase window , and the wind howling in [the grove]607-the grove behind [the hall]608-the hall ; [I]0-i grew by degrees cold as a stone , and then [my]0-i courage sank . [My]0-i habitual mood of humiliation , self - doubt , forlorn depression , fell damp on the embers of [my]0-i decaying ire . All said [I]0-i was wicked , and perhaps [I]0-i might be so ; what thought had [I]0-i been but just conceiving of starving [myself]0-i to death ? That certainly was a crime : and was [I]0-i fit to die ? Or was [the vault under the chancel of [Gateshead Church]19-gateshead church]609-the vault under the chancel of gateshead church an inviting bourne ? In [such vault]610-such vault [I]0-i had been told did [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed lie buried ; and led by this thought to recall [his]169-mr. reed idea , [I]0-i dwelt on it with gathering dread . [I]0-i could not remember [him]169-mr. reed ; but [I]0-i knew that [he]169-mr. reed was [[my]0-i own uncle]611-my own uncle - [[[my]0-i mother]612-my mother 's brother]613-my mother 's brother - that [he]169-mr. reed had taken [me]0-i when [a parentless infant]614-a parentless infant to [[his]169-mr. reed house]615-his house ; and that in [his]169-mr. reed last moments [he]169-mr. reed had required a promise of [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed that [she]156-mrs. reed would rear and maintain [me]0-i as [one of [[her]156-mrs. reed own children]617-her own children]616-one of her own children . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed probably considered [she]156-mrs. reed had kept this promise ; and so [she]156-mrs. reed had , [I]0-i dare say , as well as [her]156-mrs. reed nature would permit [her]156-mrs. reed ; but how could [she]156-mrs. reed really like [an interloper not of [[her]156-mrs. reed race]619-her race , and unconnected with [her]156-mrs. reed , after [[her]156-mrs. reed husband]620-her husband 's death , by any tie]618-an interloper not of her race , and unconnected with her , after her husband 's death , by any tie ? It must have been most irksome to find [herself]156-mrs. reed bound by a hard - wrung pledge to stand in the stead of [a parent to [a strange child [she]156-mrs. reed could not love]622-a strange child she could not love , and to see [an uncongenial alien]623-an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on [[her]156-mrs. reed own family group]624-her own family group]621-a parent to a strange child she could not love , and to see an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group . A singular notion dawned upon [me]0-i . [I]0-i doubted not - never doubted - that if [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed had been alive [he]169-mr. reed would have treated [me]0-i kindly ; and now , as [I]0-i sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls - occasionally also turning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaning mirror - [I]0-i began to recall what [I]0-i had heard of [dead men]625-dead men , troubled in [their]625-dead men graves by the violation of [their]625-dead men last wishes , revisiting the earth to punish [the perjured and avenge the oppressed]626-the perjured and avenge the oppressed ; and [I]0-i thought [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed 's spirit , harassed by the wrongs of [[his]169-mr. reed sister 's child]627-his sister 's child , might quit its abode - whether in [the church vault]628-the church vault or in [the unknown world of [the departed]630-the departed]629-the unknown world of the departed - and rise before [me]0-i in [this chamber]577-this chamber . [I]0-i wiped [my]0-i tears and hushed [my]0-i sobs , fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a preternatural voice to comfort [me]0-i , or elicit from the gloom some haloed face , bending over [me]0-i with strange pity . This idea , consolatory in theory , [I]0-i felt would be terrible if realised : with all [my]0-i might [I]0-i endeavoured to stifle it - [I]0-i endeavoured to be firm . Shaking [my]0-i hair from [my]0-i eyes , [I]0-i lifted [my]0-i head and tried to look boldly round [the dark room]632-the dark room ; at this moment a light gleamed on the wall . Was it , [I]0-i asked [myself]0-i , a ray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind ? No ; moonlight was still , and this stirred ; while [I]0-i gazed , it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over [my]0-i head . [I]0-i can now conjecture readily that this streak of light was , in all likelihood , a gleam from a lantern carried by some one across [the lawn]633-the lawn : but then , prepared as [my]0-i mind was for horror , shaken as [my]0-i nerves were by agitation , [I]0-i thought the swift darting beam was a herald of some coming vision from [another world]634-another world . [My]0-i heart beat thick , [my]0-i head grew hot ; a sound filled [my]0-i ears , which [I]0-i deemed the rushing of wings ; something seemed near [me]0-i ; [I]0-i was oppressed , suffocated : endurance broke down ; [I]0-i rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort . Steps came running along [the outer passage]635-the outer passage ; the key turned , [Bessie]195-bessie and [Abbot]176-abbot entered . " [Miss Eyre]146-jane , are [you]146-jane ill ? "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie . " What a dreadful noise ! it went quite through [me]176-abbot ! "[176-abbot] exclaimed [Abbot]176-abbot . " Take [me]0-i out ! Let [me]0-i go into [the nursery]571-the nursery ! "[0-i] was [my]0-i cry . " What for ? Are [you]195-bessie hurt ? Have [you]195-bessie seen something ? "[195-bessie] again demanded [Bessie]195-bessie . " Oh ! [I]195-bessie saw a light , and [I]195-bessie thought a ghost would come . "[195-bessie] [I]0-i had now got hold of [Bessie]195-bessie 's hand , and [she]195-bessie did not snatch it from [me]0-i . " [She]195-bessie has screamed out on purpose , "[176-abbot] declared [Abbot]176-abbot , in some disgust . " And what a scream ! If [she]195-bessie had been in great pain one would have excused it , but [she]195-bessie only wanted to bring [us]4350-us all [here]4312-here : [I]176-abbot know [her]195-bessie naughty tricks . "[176-abbot] " What is all this ? "[156-mrs. reed] demanded another voice peremptorily ; and [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed came along [the corridor]636-the corridor , [her]156-mrs. reed cap flying wide , [her]156-mrs. reed gown rustling stormily . " [Abbot]176-abbot and [Bessie]195-bessie , [I]156-mrs. reed believe [I]156-mrs. reed gave orders that [Jane Eyre]146-jane should be left in [the red - room]4331-the red - room till [I]156-mrs. reed came to [her]146-jane [myself]156-mrs. reed . "[156-mrs. reed] " [Miss Jane]146-jane screamed so loud , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , "[195-bessie] pleaded [Bessie]195-bessie . " Let [her]146-jane go , "[195-bessie] was the only answer . " [Loose Bessie]195-bessie 's hand , [child]4354-child : [you]4354-child can not succeed in getting out by these means , be assured . [I]195-bessie abhor artifice , particularly in [children]524-children ; it is [my]195-bessie duty to show [you]4354-child that tricks will not answer : [you]4354-child will now stay [here]4312-here an hour longer , and it is only on condition of perfect submission and stillness that [I]195-bessie shall liberate [you]4354-child then . "[195-bessie] " [O aunt]4357-o aunt ! have pity ! Forgive [me]156-mrs. reed ! [I]156-mrs. reed can not endure it - let [me]156-mrs. reed be punished some other way ! [I]156-mrs. reed shall be killed if - "[156-mrs. reed] " Silence ! This violence is all most repulsive : "[195-bessie] and so , no doubt , [she]195-bessie felt it . [I]0-i was a precocious actress in [her]195-bessie eyes ; [she]195-bessie sincerely looked on [me]0-i as a compound of virulent passions , mean spirit , and dangerous duplicity . [Bessie]195-bessie and [Abbot]176-abbot having retreated , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , impatient of [my]0-i now frantic anguish and wild sobs , abruptly thrust [me]0-i back and locked [me]0-i in , without farther parley . [I]0-i heard [her]195-bessie sweeping away ; and soon after [she]195-bessie was gone , [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i had a species of fit : unconsciousness closed the scene . CHAPTER III The next thing [I]0-i remember is , waking up with a feeling as if [I]0-i had had a frightful nightmare , and seeing before [me]0-i a terrible red glare , crossed with thick black bars . [I]0-i heard voices , too , speaking with a hollow sound , and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water : agitation , uncertainty , and an all - predominating sense of terror confused [my]0-i faculties . Ere long , [I]0-i became aware that [some one]637-some one was handling [me]0-i ; lifting [me]0-i up and supporting [me]0-i in a sitting posture , and that more tenderly than [I]0-i had ever been raised or upheld before . [I]0-i rested [my]0-i head against a pillow or an arm , and felt easy . In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved : [I]0-i knew quite well that [I]0-i was in [my]0-i own bed , and that the red glare was the nursery fire . It was night : a candle burnt on the table ; [Bessie]195-bessie stood at the bed - foot with a basin in [her]195-bessie hand , and [a gentleman]638-a gentleman sat in a chair near [my]0-i pillow , leaning over [me]0-i . [I]0-i felt an inexpressible relief , a soothing conviction of protection and security , when [I]0-i knew that there was [a stranger in [the room]535-the room]639-a stranger in the room , [an individual not belonging to [Gateshead]20-gateshead]641-an individual not belonging to gateshead . , and not related to [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed . Turning from [Bessie]195-bessie though [her]195-bessie presence was far less obnoxious to [me]0-i than that of [Abbot]176-abbot , for instance , would have been , [I]0-i scrutinised the face of [the gentleman]642-the gentleman : [I]0-i knew [him]642-the gentleman ; it was [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd , [an apothecary]643-an apothecary , sometimes called in by [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed when [the servants]546-the servants were ailing : for [herself]156-mrs. reed and [the children]645-the children [she]156-mrs. reed employed [a physician]646-a physician . " Well , who am [I]642-the gentleman ? "[642-the gentleman] [he]642-the gentleman asked . [I]0-i pronounced [his]642-the gentleman name , offering [him]642-the gentleman at the same time [my]0-i hand : [he]642-the gentleman took it , smiling and saying , " [We]4358-we shall do very well by - and - by . "[642-the gentleman] Then [he]642-the gentleman laid [me]0-i down , and addressing [Bessie]195-bessie , charged [her]195-bessie to be very careful that [I]0-i was not disturbed during the night . Having given some further directions , and intimates that [he]642-the gentleman should call again the next day , [he]642-the gentleman departed ; to [my]0-i grief : [I]0-i felt so sheltered and befriended while [he]642-the gentleman sat in the chair near [my]0-i pillow ; and as [he]642-the gentleman closed the door after [him]642-the gentleman , all [the room]535-the room darkened and [my]0-i heart again sank : inexpressible sadness weighed it down . " Do [you]0-i feel as if [you]0-i should sleep , [Miss]4359-miss ? "[195-bessie] asked [Bessie]195-bessie , rather softly . Scarcely dared [I]0-i answer [her]195-bessie ; for [I]0-i feared the next sentence might be rough . " [I]0-i will try . "[0-i] " Would [you]195-bessie like to drink , or could [you]195-bessie eat anything ? "[195-bessie] " No , thank [you]195-bessie , [Bessie]195-bessie . "[195-bessie] " Then [I]195-bessie think [I]195-bessie shall go to bed , for it is past twelve o'clock ; but [you]195-bessie may call [me]195-bessie if [you]195-bessie want anything in the night . "[195-bessie] Wonderful civility this ! It emboldened [me]0-i to ask a question . " [Bessie]195-bessie , what is the matter with [me]195-bessie ? Am [I]195-bessie ill ? "[195-bessie] " [You]195-bessie fell sick , [I]195-bessie suppose , in [the red - room]4331-the red - room with crying ; [you]195-bessie 'll be better soon , no doubt . "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie went into [[the housemaid]648-the housemaid 's apartment]649-the housemaid 's apartment , which was near . [I]0-i heard [her]195-bessie say - " [Sarah]183-sarah , come and sleep with [me]195-bessie in [the nursery]571-the nursery ; [I]195-bessie dare n't for [my]195-bessie life be alone with [that poor child]4362-that poor child to - night : [she]4362-that poor child might die ; it 's such a strange thing [she]4362-that poor child should have that fit : [I]195-bessie wonder if [she]4362-that poor child saw anything . [Missis]178-missis was rather too hard . "[195-bessie] [Sarah]183-sarah came back with [her]195-bessie ; [they]650-they both went to bed ; [they]650-they were whispering together for half - an - hour before [they]650-they fell asleep . [I]0-i caught scraps of [their]650-they conversation , from which [I]0-i was able only too distinctly to infer the main subject discussed . " [Something]184-something passed [her]4362-that poor child , all dressed in white , and vanished "[0-i] - " A great black dog behind [him]4362-that poor child "[0-i] - " Three loud raps on the chamber door "[0-i] - " A light in [the churchyard]4363-the churchyard just over [[his]4362-that poor child grave]4364-his grave , "[0-i] c. c. At last both slept : the fire and the candle went out . For [me]0-i , the watches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness ; strained by dread : such dread as [children]524-children only can feel . No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of [the red - room]4331-the red - room ; it only gave [my]0-i nerves a shock of which [I]0-i feel the reverberation to this day . Yes , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , to [you]156-mrs. reed [I]0-i owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering , but [I]0-i ought to forgive [you]156-mrs. reed , for [you]156-mrs. reed knew not what [you]156-mrs. reed did : while rending [my]0-i heart - strings , [you]156-mrs. reed thought [you]156-mrs. reed were only uprooting [my]0-i bad propensities . Next day , by noon , [I]0-i was up and dressed , and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth . [I]0-i felt physically weak and broken down : but [my]0-i worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind : a wretchedness which kept drawing from [me]0-i silent tears ; no sooner had [I]0-i wiped one salt drop from [my]0-i cheek than another followed . Yet , [I]0-i thought , [I]0-i ought to have been happy , for [none of [the Reeds]185-the reeds]653-none of the reeds were there , [they]185-the reeds were all gone out in [the carriage]654-the carriage with [[their]185-the reeds mama]512-their mama . [Abbot]176-abbot , too , was sewing in [another room]656-another room , and [Bessie]195-bessie , as [she]195-bessie moved hither and thither , putting away toys and arranging drawers , addressed to [me]0-i every now and then a word of unwonted kindness . This state of things should have been to [me]0-i a paradise of peace , accustomed as [I]0-i was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging ; but , in fact , [my]0-i racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could soothe , and no pleasure excite [them]657-them agreeably . [Bessie]195-bessie had been down into [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , and [she]195-bessie brought up with [her]195-bessie a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate , whose bird of paradise , nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds , had been wo nt to stir in [me]0-i a most enthusiastic sense of admiration ; and which plate [I]0-i had often petitioned to be allowed to take in [my]0-i hand in order to examine it more closely , but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a privilege . This precious vessel was now placed on [my]0-i knee , and [I]0-i was cordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it . Vain favour ! coming , like most other favours long deferred and often wished for , too late ! [I]0-i could not eat the tart ; and the plumage of the bird , the tints of the flowers , seemed strangely faded : [I]0-i put both plate and tart away . [Bessie]195-bessie asked if [I]0-i would have a book : the word BOOK acted as a transient stimulus , and [I]0-i begged [her]195-bessie to fetch [Gulliver]186-gulliver 's Travels from [the library]659-the library . This book [I]0-i had again and again perused with delight . [I]0-i considered it a narrative of facts , and discovered in it a vein of interest deeper than what [I]0-i found in fairy tales : for as to [the elves]660-the elves , having sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells , under mushrooms and beneath the ground - ivy mantling old wall - nooks , [I]0-i had at length made up [my]0-i mind to the sad truth , that [they]660-the elves were all gone out of [England]21-england to [some savage country]661-some savage country where [the woods]662-the woods were wilder and thicker , and the population more scant ; whereas , [Lilliput]187-lilliput and [Brobdignag]22-brobdignag being , in [my]0-i creed , solid parts of [the earth]663-the earth 's surface , [I]0-i doubted not that [I]0-i might one day , by taking a long voyage , see with [my]0-i own eyes [the little fields]664-the little fields , [houses]665-houses , and trees , [the diminutive people]666-the diminutive people , the tiny cows , sheep , and birds of [the one realm]667-the one realm ; and [the corn - fields forest]668-the corn - fields forest - high , [the mighty mastiffs]669-the mighty mastiffs , the monster cats , [the tower - like men]670-the tower - like men and [women]671-women , of the other . Yet , when this cherished volume was now placed in [my]0-i hand - when [I]0-i turned over its leaves , and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm [I]0-i had , till now , never failed to find - all was eerie and dreary ; the giants were [gaunt goblins]672-gaunt goblins , [the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps]673-the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps , [Gulliver]186-gulliver a most desolate wanderer in [most dread and dangerous regions]674-most dread and dangerous regions . [I]0-i closed the book , which [I]0-i dared no longer peruse , and put it on the table , beside the untasted tart . [Bessie]195-bessie had now finished dusting and tidying [the room]535-the room , and having washed [her]195-bessie hands , [she]195-bessie opened a certain little drawer , full of splendid shreds of silk and satin , and began making a new bonnet for [Georgiana]160-georgiana 's doll . Meantime [she]195-bessie sang : [her]195-bessie song was - " In the days when [we]4365-we went gipsying , A long time ago . "[195-bessie] [I]0-i had often heard the song before , and always with lively delight ; for [Bessie]195-bessie had a sweet voice , - at least , [I]0-i thought so . But now , though [her]195-bessie voice was still sweet , [I]0-i found in its melody an indescribable sadness . Sometimes , preoccupied with [her]195-bessie work , [she]195-bessie sang the refrain very low , very lingeringly ; " A long time ago "[195-bessie] came out like the saddest cadence of a funeral hymn . [She]195-bessie passed into another ballad , this time a really doleful one . " [My]195-bessie feet they are sore , and [my]195-bessie limbs they are weary ; Long is the way , and [the mountains]4366-the mountains are wild ; Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary Over the path of [the poor orphan child]4367-the poor orphan child . "[195-bessie] Why did [they]676-they send [me]0-i so far and so lonely , [Up where the moors spread and grey rocks]677-up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled ? [Men]482-men are hard - hearted , and [kind angels]679-kind angels only Watch o'er the steps of [a poor orphan child]680-a poor orphan child . " Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing , Clouds there are none , and clear stars beam mild , [God]180-mrs. fairfax , in [His]682-my father mercy , protection is showing , Comfort and hope to [the poor orphan child]4367-the poor orphan child . "[188-ev'n] [Ev'n]188-ev'n should [I]0-i fall o'er the broken bridge passing , Or stray in [the marshes]681-the marshes , by false lights beguiled , Still will [[my]0-i Father]682-my father , with promise and blessing , Take to [His]682-my father bosom [the poor orphan child]4367-the poor orphan child . " There is a thought that for strength should avail [me]195-bessie , Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled ; [Heaven]4369-heaven is a [home]509-home , and a rest will not fail [me]195-bessie ; [God]180-mrs. fairfax is [a friend to [the poor orphan child]4367-the poor orphan child]4371-a friend to the poor orphan child . "[195-bessie] " Come , [Miss Jane]146-jane , do n't cry , "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie as [she]195-bessie finished . [She]195-bessie might as well have said to the fire , " do n't burn ! "[195-bessie] but how could [she]195-bessie divine the morbid suffering to which [I]0-i was [a prey]684-a prey ? In the course of the morning [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd came again . " What , already up ! "[182-mr. lloyd] said [he]182-mr. lloyd , as [he]182-mr. lloyd entered [the nursery]571-the nursery . " Well , [nurse]4373-nurse , how is [she]195-bessie ? "[182-mr. lloyd] [Bessie]195-bessie answered that [I]0-i was doing very well . " Then [she]195-bessie ought to look more cheerful . Come here , [Miss Jane]146-jane : [your]146-jane name is [Jane]146-jane , is it not ? "[195-bessie] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir , [Jane Eyre]146-jane . "[182-mr. lloyd] " Well , [you]146-jane have been crying , [Miss Jane Eyre]146-jane ; can [you]146-jane tell [me]195-bessie what about ? Have [you]146-jane any pain ? "[195-bessie] " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[195-bessie] " Oh ! [I]195-bessie daresay [she]195-bessie is crying because [she]195-bessie could not go out with [Missis]178-missis in [the carriage]654-the carriage , "[195-bessie] interposed [Bessie]195-bessie . " Surely not ! why , [she]195-bessie is too old for such pettishness . "[195-bessie] [I]0-i thought so too ; and [my]0-i self - esteem being wounded by the false charge , [I]0-i answered promptly , " [I]0-i never cried for such a thing in [my]0-i life : [I]0-i hate going out in [the carriage]654-the carriage . [I]0-i cry because [I]0-i am miserable . "[0-i] " Oh fie , [Miss]4378-miss ! "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie . [The good apothecary]686-the good apothecary appeared a little puzzled . [I]0-i was standing before [him]686-the good apothecary ; [he]686-the good apothecary fixed [his]686-the good apothecary eyes on [me]0-i very steadily : [his]686-the good apothecary eyes were small and grey ; not very bright , but [I]0-i dare say [I]0-i should think them shrewd now : [he]686-the good apothecary had a hard - featured yet good - natured looking face . Having considered [me]0-i at leisure , [he]686-the good apothecary said - " What made [you]0-i ill yesterday ? "[686-the good apothecary] " [She]195-bessie had a fall , "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie , again putting in [her]195-bessie word . " Fall ! why , that is like [a baby]4379-a baby again ! Ca n't [she]195-bessie manage to walk at [her]195-bessie age ? [She]195-bessie must be eight or nine years old . "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie was knocked down , "[195-bessie] was the blunt explanation , jerked out of [me]0-i by another pang of mortified pride ; " but that did not make [me]0-i ill , "[0-i] [I]0-i added ; while [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd helped [himself]182-mr. lloyd to a pinch of snuff . As [he]182-mr. lloyd was returning the box to [his]182-mr. lloyd waistcoat pocket , a loud bell rang for [the servants]546-the servants ' dinner ; [he]182-mr. lloyd knew what it was . " That 's for [you]0-i , [nurse]4373-nurse , "[182-mr. lloyd] said [he]182-mr. lloyd ; " [you]0-i can go down ; [I]182-mr. lloyd 'll give [Miss Jane]146-jane a lecture till [you]0-i come back . "[182-mr. lloyd] [Bessie]195-bessie would rather have stayed , but [she]195-bessie was obliged to go , because punctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at [Gateshead Hall]18-gateshead hall . " The fall did not make [you]0-i ill ; what did , then ? "[195-bessie] pursued [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd when [Bessie]195-bessie was gone . " [I]0-i was shut up in [a room]4381-a room where there is a ghost till after dark . "[0-i] [I]0-i saw [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd smile and frown at the same time . " [Ghost]189-ghost ! What , [you]0-i are [a baby after all]4382-a baby after all ! [You]0-i are afraid of ghosts ? "[182-mr. lloyd] " Of [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed 's ghost [I]0-i am : [he]169-mr. reed died in [that room]4383-that room , and was laid out there . Neither [Bessie]195-bessie nor [any one else]4384-any one else will go into it at night , if [they]4385-they can help it ; and it was cruel to shut [me]0-i up alone without a candle , - so cruel that [I]0-i think [I]0-i shall never forget it . "[0-i] " Nonsense ! And is it that makes [you]0-i so miserable ? Are [you]0-i afraid now in daylight ? "[0-i] " No : but night will come again before long : and besides , - [I]182-mr. lloyd am unhappy , - very unhappy , for other things . "[182-mr. lloyd] " What other things ? Can [you]0-i tell [me]0-i some of them ? "[0-i] How much [I]0-i wished to reply fully to this question ! How difficult it was to frame any answer ! [Children]524-children can feel , but [they]524-children can not analyse [their]524-children feelings ; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought , [they]524-children know not how to express the result of the process in words . Fearful , however , of losing this first and only opportunity of relieving [my]0-i grief by imparting it , [I]0-i , after a disturbed pause , contrived to frame a meagre , though , as far as it went , true response . " For one thing , [I]0-i have [no father]4386-no father or [mother]4387-mother , [brothers]4388-brothers or [sisters]545-sisters . "[0-i] " [You]0-i have [a kind aunt]4390-a kind aunt and [cousins]4391-cousins . "[0-i] Again [I]0-i paused ; then bunglingly enounced - " But [John Reed]159-john knocked [me]0-i down , and [[my]0-i aunt]4392-my aunt shut [me]0-i up in [the red- room]4393-the red- room . "[0-i] [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd a second time produced [his]182-mr. lloyd snuff - box . " Do n't [you]0-i think [Gateshead Hall]18-gateshead hall [a very beautiful house]4394-a very beautiful house ? "[182-mr. lloyd] asked [he]182-mr. lloyd . " Are [you]0-i not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at ? "[182-mr. lloyd] " [It]18-gateshead hall is not [[my]0-i house]4395-my house , [sir]4374-sir ; and [Abbot]176-abbot says [I]0-i have less right to be [here]4312-here than [a servant]4337-a servant . "[0-i] " Pooh ! [you]0-i ca n't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place ? "[0-i] " If [I]182-mr. lloyd had anywhere else to go , [I]182-mr. lloyd should be glad to leave [it]18-gateshead hall ; but [I]182-mr. lloyd can never get away from [Gateshead]20-gateshead till [I]182-mr. lloyd am [a woman]4399-a woman . "[182-mr. lloyd] " Perhaps [you]0-i may - who knows ? Have [you]0-i any relations besides [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i think not , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " None belonging to [[your]0-i father]4318-your father ? "[182-mr. lloyd] " [I]0-i do n't know . [I]0-i asked [Aunt Reed]190-aunt reed once , and [she]190-aunt reed said possibly [I]0-i might have some poor , low relations called [Eyre]146-jane , but [she]190-aunt reed knew nothing about [them]4402-them . "[0-i] " If [you]0-i had such , would [you]0-i like to go to [them]4402-them ? "[0-i] [I]0-i reflected . Poverty looks grim to [grown people]689-grown people ; still more so to [children]524-children : [they]524-children have not much idea of industrious , working , respectable poverty ; [they]524-children think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes , scanty food , fireless grates , rude manners , and debasing vices : poverty for [me]0-i was synonymous with degradation . " No ; [I]0-i should not like to belong to [poor people]4403-poor people , "[0-i] was [my]0-i reply . " Not even if [they]4403-poor people were kind to [you]0-i ? "[0-i] [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head : [I]0-i could not see how [poor people]4403-poor people had the means of being kind ; and then to learn to speak like [them]4403-poor people , to adopt [their]4403-poor people manners , to be uneducated , to grow up like [one of [the poor women]693-the poor women [I]0-i saw sometimes nursing [[their]694-their children]695-their children or washing [their]695-their children clothes at [the cottage doors of [the village of]697-the village of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]696-the cottage doors of the village of gateshead]692-one of the poor women i saw sometimes nursing their children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the village of gateshead : no , [I]0-i was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste . " But are [[your]0-i relatives]4404-your relatives so very poor ? Are [they]4404-your relatives [working people]4405-working people ? "[0-i] " [I]195-bessie can not tell ; [Aunt]4406-aunt . [Reed]190-aunt reed says if [I]195-bessie have any , [they]4404-your relatives must be [a beggarly set]4407-a beggarly set : [I]195-bessie should not like to go a begging . "[195-bessie] " Would [you]0-i like to go to [school]537-school ? "[0-i] Again [I]0-i reflected : [I]0-i scarcely knew what [school]537-school was : [Bessie]195-bessie sometimes spoke of it as a place where [young ladies]699-young ladies sat in the stocks , wore backboards , and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise : [John Reed]159-john hated [[his]159-john school]700-his school , and abused [[his]159-john master]701-his master ; but [John Reed]159-john 's tastes were no rule for [mine]0-i , and if [Bessie]195-bessie 's accounts of school - discipline gathered from [the young ladies of a family where [she]195-bessie had lived before coming to [Gateshead]20-gateshead]702-the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to gateshead were somewhat appalling , [her]195-bessie details of certain accomplishments attained by [these same young ladies]703-these same young ladies were , [I]0-i thought , equally attractive . [She]195-bessie boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and flowers by [them]703-these same young ladies executed ; of songs [they]703-these same young ladies could sing and pieces [they]703-these same young ladies could play , of purses [they]703-these same young ladies could net , of French books [they]703-these same young ladies could translate ; till [my]0-i spirit was moved to emulation as [I]0-i listened . Besides , [school]537-school would be a complete change : it implied a long journey , an entire separation from [Gateshead]20-gateshead , an entrance into a new life . " [I]0-i should indeed like to go to [school]537-school , "[0-i] was the audible conclusion of [my]0-i musings . " Well , well ! who knows what may happen ? "[182-mr. lloyd] said [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd , as [he]182-mr. lloyd got up . " [The child]4339-the child ought to have change of air and scene , "[182-mr. lloyd] [he]182-mr. lloyd added , speaking to [himself]182-mr. lloyd ; " nerves not in a good state . "[182-mr. lloyd] [Bessie]195-bessie now returned ; at the same moment [the carriage]654-the carriage was heard rolling up [the gravel - walk]706-the gravel - walk . " Is that [[your]182-mr. lloyd mistress]4411-your mistress , [nurse]4373-nurse ? "[182-mr. lloyd] asked [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd . " [I]195-bessie should like to speak to [her]4411-your mistress before [I]195-bessie go . "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie invited [him]182-mr. lloyd to walk into [the breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room , and led the way out . In the interview which followed between [him]182-mr. lloyd and [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , [I]0-i presume , from after - occurrences , that [the apothecary]708-the apothecary ventured to recommend [my]0-i being sent to [school]537-school ; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted ; for as [Abbot]176-abbot said , in discussing the subject with [Bessie]195-bessie when [both]710-both sat sewing in [the nursery]571-the nursery one night , after [I]0-i was in bed , and , as [they]710-both thought , asleep , " [Missis]178-missis was , [she]178-missis dared say , glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome , ill- conditioned child , who always looked as if [she]178-missis were watching [everybody]4413-everybody , and scheming plots underhand . "[176-abbot] [Abbot]176-abbot , [I]0-i think , gave [me]0-i credit for being a sort of infantine [Guy Fawkes]191-guy fawkes . On that same occasion [I]0-i learned , for the first time , from [Miss Abbot]176-abbot 's communications to [Bessie]195-bessie , that [[my]0-i father]682-my father had been [a poor clergyman]713-a poor clergyman ; that [[my]0-i mother]612-my mother had married [him]682-my father against the wishes of [[her]612-my mother friends]715-her friends , who considered the match beneath [her]612-my mother ; that [[my]0-i grandfather]716-my grandfather [Reed]156-mrs. reed was so irritated at [her]612-my mother disobedience , [he]682-my father cut [her]612-my mother off without a shilling ; that after [[my]0-i mother]612-my mother and [father]718-father had been married a year , [the latter]719-the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among [the poor of [a large manufacturing town where [his]682-my father curacy]721-a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated , and where that disease was then prevalent]720-the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated , and where that disease was then prevalent : that [[my]0-i mother]612-my mother took the infection from [him]682-my father , and [both]710-both died within a month of [each other]724-each other . [Bessie]195-bessie , when [she]195-bessie heard this narrative , sighed and said , " [Poor Miss Jane]146-jane is to be pitied , too , [Abbot]176-abbot . "[195-bessie] " Yes , "[176-abbot] responded [Abbot]176-abbot ; " if [she]146-jane were [a nice , pretty child]4414-a nice , pretty child , one might compassionate [her]146-jane forlornness ; but [one]4415-one really can not care for [such a little toad as that]4416-such a little toad as that . "[195-bessie] " Not a great deal , to be sure , "[195-bessie] agreed [Bessie]195-bessie : " at any rate , [a beauty like [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana]4417-a beauty like miss georgiana would be more moving in the same condition . "[195-bessie] " Yes , [I]176-abbot doat on [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana ! "[176-abbot] cried [the fervent Abbot]176-abbot . " [Little darling]4418-little darling ! - with [her]192-miss georgiana long curls and [her]192-miss georgiana blue eyes , and such a sweet colour as [she]192-miss georgiana has ; just as if [she]192-miss georgiana were painted ! - [Bessie]195-bessie , [I]176-abbot could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper . "[176-abbot] " So could [I]725-i - with a roast onion . Come , [we]725-i 'll go down . "[725-i] [They]725-i went . CHAPTER IV From [my]0-i discourse with [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd , and from the above reported conference between [Bessie]195-bessie and [Abbot]176-abbot , [I]0-i gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well : a change seemed near , - [I]0-i desired and waited it in silence . It tarried , however : days and weeks passed : [I]0-i had regained [my]0-i normal state of health , but no new allusion was made to the subject over which [I]0-i brooded . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed surveyed [me]0-i at times with a severe eye , but seldom addressed [me]0-i : since [my]0-i illness , [she]156-mrs. reed had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between [me]0-i and [[her]156-mrs. reed own children]617-her own children ; appointing [me]0-i [a small closet to sleep in by [myself]0-i]727-a small closet to sleep in by myself , condemning [me]0-i to take [my]0-i meals alone , and pass all [my]0-i time in [the nursery]571-the nursery , while [[my]0-i cousins]729-my cousins were constantly in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room . Not a hint , however , did [she]156-mrs. reed drop about sending [me]0-i to [school]537-school : still [I]0-i felt an instinctive certainty that [she]156-mrs. reed would not long endure [me]0-i under the same roof with [her]156-mrs. reed ; for [her]156-mrs. reed glance , now more than ever , when turned on [me]0-i , expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion . [Eliza]158-eliza and [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana , evidently acting according to orders , spoke to [me]0-i as little as possible : [John]159-john thrust [his]159-john tongue in [his]159-john cheek whenever [he]159-john saw [me]0-i , and once attempted chastisement ; but as [I]0-i instantly turned against [him]159-john , roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred [my]0-i corruption before , [he]159-john thought it better to desist , and ran from [me]0-i tittering execrations , and vowing [I]0-i had burst [his]159-john nose . [I]0-i had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as [my]0-i knuckles could inflict ; and when [I]0-i saw that either that or [my]0-i look daunted [him]159-john , [I]0-i had the greatest inclination to follow up [my]0-i advantage to purpose ; but [he]159-john was already with [[his]159-john mama]538-his mama . [I]0-i heard [him]159-john in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how " that nasty [Jane Eyre]146-jane "[159-john] had flown at [him]159-john like a mad cat : [he]159-john was stopped rather harshly - " Do n't talk to [me]159-john about [her]146-jane , [John]159-john : [I]159-john told [you]159-john not to go near [her]146-jane ; [she]146-jane is not worthy of notice ; [I]159-john do not choose that either [you]159-john or [[your]159-john sisters]4419-your sisters should associate with [her]146-jane . "[159-john] Here , leaning over the banister , [I]0-i cried out suddenly , and without at all deliberating on [my]0-i words - " [They]4420-they are not fit to associate with [me]0-i . "[0-i] [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed was rather [a stout woman]733-a stout woman ; but , on hearing this strange and audacious declaration , [she]156-mrs. reed ran nimbly up the stair , swept [me]0-i like a whirlwind into [the nursery]571-the nursery , and crushing [me]0-i down on the edge of [[my]0-i crib]735-my crib , dared [me]0-i in an emphatic voice to rise from that place , or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day . " What would [Uncle Reed]193-uncle reed say to [you]0-i , if [he]193-uncle reed were alive ? "[0-i] was [my]0-i scarcely voluntary demand . [I]0-i say scarcely voluntary , for it seemed as if [my]0-i tongue pronounced words without [my]0-i will consenting to their utterance : something spoke out of [me]0-i over which [I]0-i had no control . " What ? "[156-mrs. reed] said [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed under [her]156-mrs. reed breath : [her]156-mrs. reed usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear ; [she]156-mrs. reed took [her]156-mrs. reed hand from [my]0-i arm , and gazed at [me]0-i as if [she]156-mrs. reed really did not know whether [I]0-i were [child]4354-child or [fiend]737-fiend . [I]0-i was now in for it . " [[My]156-mrs. reed Uncle]4421-my uncle [Reed]156-mrs. reed is in [heaven]4369-heaven , and can see all [you]0-i do and think ; and so can [papa]4423-papa and [mama]4313-mama : [they]4425-they know how [you]0-i shut [me]156-mrs. reed up all day long , and how [you]0-i wish [me]156-mrs. reed dead . "[156-mrs. reed] [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed soon rallied [her]156-mrs. reed spirits : [she]156-mrs. reed shook [me]0-i most soundly , [she]156-mrs. reed boxed both [my]0-i ears , and then left [me]0-i without a word . [Bessie]195-bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour 's length , in which [she]195-bessie proved beyond a doubt that [I]0-i was [the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof]738-the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof . [I]0-i half believed [her]156-mrs. reed ; for [I]0-i felt indeed only bad feelings surging in [my]0-i breast . November , December , and half of [January]194-january passed away . Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at [Gateshead]20-gateshead with the usual festive cheer ; presents had been interchanged , dinners and evening parties given . From every enjoyment [I]0-i was , of course , excluded : [my]0-i share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of [Eliza]158-eliza and [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana , and seeing [them]739-them descend to [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room , dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes , with hair elaborately ringletted ; and afterwards , in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played below , to the passing to and fro of [the butler and footman]741-the butler and footman , to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed , to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing - room door opened and closed . When tired of this occupation , [I]0-i would retire from [the stairhead]742-the stairhead to [the solitary and silent nursery]743-the solitary and silent nursery : there , though somewhat sad , [I]0-i was not miserable . To speak truth , [I]0-i had not the least wish to go into company , for in company [I]0-i was very rarely noticed ; and if [Bessie]195-bessie had but been kind and companionable , [I]0-i should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with [her]195-bessie , instead of passing them under the formidable eye of [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , in [a room full of [ladies]745-ladies and [gentlemen]475-gentlemen]744-a room full of ladies and gentlemen . But [Bessie]195-bessie , as soon as [she]195-bessie had dressed [[her]195-bessie young ladies]747-her young ladies , used to take [herself]195-bessie off to [the lively regions of [the kitchen]658-the kitchen and [housekeeper]750-housekeeper 's room]748-the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper 's room , generally bearing the candle along with [her]195-bessie . [I]0-i then sat with [my]0-i doll on [my]0-i knee till the fire got low , glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than [myself]0-i haunted [the shadowy room]751-the shadowy room ; and when the embers sank to a dull red , [I]0-i undressed hastily , tugging at knots and strings as [I]0-i best might , and sought shelter from cold and darkness in [[my]0-i crib]735-my crib . To [this crib]753-this crib [I]0-i always took [my]0-i doll ; [human beings]754-human beings must love something , and , in the dearth of worthier objects of affection , [I]0-i contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image , shabby as a miniature scarecrow . It puzzles [me]0-i now to remember with what absurd sincerity [I]0-i doated on this little toy , half fancying it alive and capable of sensation . [I]0-i could not sleep unless it was folded in [my]0-i night - gown ; and when it lay there safe and warm , [I]0-i was comparatively happy , believing it to be happy likewise . Long did the hours seem while [I]0-i waited the departure of [the company]755-the company , and listened for the sound of [Bessie]195-bessie 's step on the stairs : sometimes [she]195-bessie would come up in the interval to seek [her]195-bessie thimble or [her]195-bessie scissors , or perhaps to bring [me]0-i something by way of supper - a bun or a cheese - cake - then [she]195-bessie would sit on the bed while [I]0-i ate it , and when [I]0-i had finished , [she]195-bessie would tuck the clothes round [me]0-i , and twice [she]195-bessie kissed [me]0-i , and said , " Good night , [Miss Jane]146-jane . "[195-bessie] When thus gentle , [Bessie]195-bessie seemed to [me]0-i the best , prettiest , kindest being in [the world]484-the world ; and [I]0-i wished most intensely that [she]195-bessie would always be so pleasant and amiable , and never push [me]0-i about , or scold , or task [me]0-i unreasonably , as [she]195-bessie was too often wo nt to do . [Bessie Lee]195-bessie must , [I]0-i think , have been [a girl of good natural capacity]757-a girl of good natural capacity , for [she]195-bessie was smart in all [she]195-bessie did , and had a remarkable knack of narrative ; so , at least , [I]0-i judge from the impression made on [me]0-i by [her]195-bessie nursery tales . [She]195-bessie was pretty too , if [my]0-i recollections of [her]195-bessie face and person are correct . [I]0-i remember [her]195-bessie as [a slim young woman , with black hair , dark eyes , very nice features , and good , clear complexion]758-a slim young woman , with black hair , dark eyes , very nice features , and good , clear complexion ; but [she]195-bessie had a capricious and hasty temper , and indifferent ideas of principle or justice : still , such as [she]195-bessie was , [I]0-i preferred [her]195-bessie to [any one else at [Gateshead Hall]18-gateshead hall]759-any one else at gateshead hall . It was the fifteenth of January , about nine o'clock in the morning : [Bessie]195-bessie was gone down to breakfast ; [[my]0-i cousins]729-my cousins had not yet been summoned to [[their]729-my cousins mama]512-their mama ; [Eliza]158-eliza was putting on [her]158-eliza bonnet and warm garden - coat to go and feed [her]158-eliza poultry , an occupation of which [she]158-eliza was fond : and not less so of selling the eggs to [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper and hoarding up the money [she]158-eliza thus obtained . [She]158-eliza had a turn for traffic , and a marked propensity for saving ; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens , but also in driving hard bargains with [the gardener]763-the gardener about flower - roots , seeds , and slips of plants ; [that functionary]764-that functionary having orders from [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed to buy of [[his]764-that functionary young lady]765-his young lady all the products of [her]158-eliza parterre [she]158-eliza wished to sell : and [Eliza]158-eliza would have sold the hair off [her]158-eliza head if [she]158-eliza could have made a handsome profit thereby . As to [her]158-eliza money , [she]158-eliza first secreted it in odd corners , wrapped in a rag or an old curl - paper ; but some of these hoards having been discovered by [the housemaid]648-the housemaid , [Eliza]158-eliza , fearful of one day losing [her]158-eliza valued treasure , consented to intrust it to [[her]158-eliza mother]767-her mother , at a usurious rate of interest - fifty or sixty per cent . ; which interest [she]158-eliza exacted every quarter , keeping [her]158-eliza accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy . [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana sat on a high stool , dressing [her]192-miss georgiana hair at the glass , and interweaving [her]192-miss georgiana curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers , of which [she]192-miss georgiana had found a store in a drawer in [the attic]768-the attic . [I]0-i was making [my]0-i bed , having received strict orders from [Bessie]195-bessie to get it arranged before [she]195-bessie returned for [Bessie]195-bessie now frequently employed [me]0-i as a sort of [under - nurserymaid]769-under - nurserymaid , to tidy [the room]535-the room , dust the chairs , c. . Having spread the quilt and folded [my]0-i night - dress , [I]0-i went to the window - seat to put in order some picture - books and [doll]771-doll 's house furniture scattered there ; an abrupt command from [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana to let [her]192-miss georgiana playthings alone for the tiny chairs and mirrors , the fairy plates and cups , were [her]192-miss georgiana property stopped [my]0-i proceedings ; and then , for lack of other occupation , [I]0-i fell to breathing on the frost - flowers with which the window was fretted , and thus clearing a space in the glass through which [I]0-i might look out on [the grounds]772-the grounds , where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost . From this window were visible [the porter 's lodge]773-the porter 's lodge and [the carriage- road]774-the carriage- road , and just as [I]0-i had dissolved so much of the silver - white foliage veiling the panes as [left room]775-left room to look out , [I]0-i saw the gates thrown open and [a carriage]776-a carriage roll through . [I]0-i watched [it]777-it ascending [the drive]778-the drive with indifference ; carriages often came to [Gateshead]20-gateshead , but none ever brought visitors in whom [I]0-i was interested ; it stopped in front of [the house]4322-the house , the door - bell rang loudly , [the new - comer]780-the new - comer was admitted . All this being nothing to [me]0-i , [my]0-i vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin , which came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry - tree nailed against the wall near the casement . The remains of [my]0-i breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table , and having crumbled a morsel of roll , [I]0-i was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the window- sill , when [Bessie]195-bessie came running [upstairs]552-upstairs into [the nursery]571-the nursery . " [Miss Jane]146-jane , take off [your]146-jane pinafore ; what are [you]146-jane doing [there]4426-there ? Have [you]146-jane washed [your]146-jane hands and face this morning ? "[195-bessie] [I]0-i gave another tug before [I]0-i answered , for [I]0-i wanted the bird to be secure of its bread : the sash yielded ; [I]0-i scattered the crumbs , some on the stone sill , some on the cherry - tree bough , then , closing the window , [I]0-i replied - " No , [Bessie]195-bessie ; [I]0-i have only just finished dusting . "[0-i] " Troublesome , [careless child]4427-careless child ! and what are [you]146-jane doing now ? [You]146-jane look quite red , as if [you]146-jane had been about some mischief : what were [you]146-jane opening the window for ? "[0-i] [I]0-i was spared the trouble of answering , for [Bessie]195-bessie seemed in too great a hurry to listen to explanations ; [she]195-bessie hauled [me]0-i to [the washstand]783-the washstand , inflicted a merciless , but happily brief scrub on [my]0-i face and hands with soap , water , and a coarse towel ; disciplined [my]0-i head with a bristly brush , denuded [me]0-i of [my]0-i pinafore , and then hurrying [me]0-i to [the top of the stairs]784-the top of the stairs , bid [me]0-i go down directly , as [I]0-i was wanted in [the breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room . [I]0-i would have asked who wanted [me]0-i : [I]0-i would have demanded if [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed was [there]4426-there ; but [Bessie]195-bessie was already gone , and had closed the nursery - door upon [me]0-i . [I]0-i slowly descended . For nearly three months , [I]0-i had never been called to [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's presence ; restricted so long to [the nursery]571-the nursery , [the breakfast , dining , and drawing - rooms]788-the breakfast , dining , and drawing - rooms were become for [me]0-i awful regions , on which it dismayed [me]0-i to intrude . [I]0-i now stood in [the empty hall]789-the empty hall ; before [me]0-i was [the breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room door , and [I]0-i stopped , intimidated and trembling . What [a miserable little poltroon]791-a miserable little poltroon had fear , engendered of unjust punishment , made of [me]0-i in those days ! [I]0-i feared to return to [the nursery]571-the nursery , and feared to go forward to [the parlour]793-the parlour ; ten minutes [I]0-i stood in agitated hesitation ; the vehement ringing of the breakfast - room bell decided [me]0-i ; [I]0-i MUST enter . " Who could want [me]0-i ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked inwardly , as with both hands [I]0-i turned the stiff door - handle , which , for a second or two , resisted [my]0-i efforts . " What should [I]0-i see besides [Aunt Reed]190-aunt reed in [the apartment]560-the apartment ? - [a man]4429-a man or [a woman]4399-a woman ? "[0-i] The handle turned , the door unclosed , and passing through and curtseying low , [I]0-i looked up at - a black pillar ! - such , at least , appeared to [me]0-i , at first sight , the straight , narrow , sable - clad shape standing erect on the rug : the grim face at the top was like a carved mask , placed above the shaft by way of capital . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed occupied [her]156-mrs. reed usual seat by the fireside ; [she]156-mrs. reed made a signal to [me]0-i to approach ; [I]0-i did so , and [she]156-mrs. reed introduced [me]0-i to [the stony stranger]794-the stony stranger with the words : " This is [the little girl respecting whom [I]794-the stony stranger applied to [you]794-the stony stranger]4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you . "[794-the stony stranger] [HE]794-the stony stranger , for it was [a man]4429-a man , turned [his]794-the stony stranger head slowly towards where [I]0-i stood , and having examined [me]0-i with the two inquisitive - looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows , said solemnly , and in a bass voice , " [Her]4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you size is small : what is [her]4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you age ? "[794-the stony stranger] " Ten years . "[794-the stony stranger] " So much ? "[794-the stony stranger] was the doubtful answer ; and [he]794-the stony stranger prolonged [his]794-the stony stranger scrutiny for some minutes . Presently [he]794-the stony stranger addressed [me]0-i - " [Your]0-i name , [little girl]4432-little girl ? "[794-the stony stranger] " [Jane Eyre]146-jane , [sir]4374-sir . "[794-the stony stranger] In uttering these words [I]0-i looked up : [he]794-the stony stranger seemed to [me]0-i [a tall gentleman]796-a tall gentleman ; but then [I]0-i was very little ; [his]794-the stony stranger features were large , and they and all the lines of [his]794-the stony stranger frame were equally harsh and prim . " Well , [Jane Eyre]146-jane , and are [you]0-i [a good child]4434-a good child ? "[794-the stony stranger] Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative : [[my]0-i little world]797-my little world held a contrary opinion : [I]0-i was silent . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed answered for [me]0-i by an expressive shake of the head , adding soon , " Perhaps the less said on that subject the better , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst . "[156-mrs. reed] " Sorry indeed to hear it ! [she]156-mrs. reed and [I]794-the stony stranger must have some talk ; "[794-the stony stranger] and bending from the perpendicular , [he]794-the stony stranger installed [his]794-the stony stranger person in the arm- chair opposite [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's . " Come here , "[794-the stony stranger] [he]794-the stony stranger said . [I]0-i stepped across the rug ; [he]794-the stony stranger placed [me]0-i square and straight before [him]794-the stony stranger . What a face [he]794-the stony stranger had , now that it was almost on a level with [mine]0-i ! what a great nose ! and what a mouth ! and what large prominent teeth ! " No sight so sad as that of [a naughty child]4435-a naughty child , "[794-the stony stranger] [he]794-the stony stranger began , " especially [a naughty little girl]4436-a naughty little girl . Do [you]0-i know where the wicked go after death ? "[794-the stony stranger] " [They]4437-they go to hell , "[0-i] was [my]0-i ready and orthodox answer . " And what is hell ? Can [you]794-the stony stranger tell [me]0-i that ? "[0-i] " A pit full of fire . "[794-the stony stranger] " And should [you]794-the stony stranger like to fall into that pit , and to be burning there for ever ? "[794-the stony stranger] " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " What must [you]794-the stony stranger do to avoid it ? "[0-i] [I]0-i deliberated a moment ; [my]0-i answer , when it did come , was objectionable : " [I]0-i must keep in good health , and not die . "[0-i] " How can [you]794-the stony stranger keep in good health ? Children younger than [you]794-the stony stranger die daily . [I]0-i buried [a little child of five years old]4439-a little child of five years old only a day or two since , - [a good little child]4440-a good little child , whose soul is now in heaven . It is to be feared the same could not be said of [you]794-the stony stranger were [you]794-the stony stranger to be called hence . "[0-i] Not being in a condition to remove [his]794-the stony stranger doubt , [I]0-i only cast [my]0-i eyes down on the two large feet planted on the rug , and sighed , wishing [myself]0-i far enough away . " [I]0-i hope that sigh is from the heart , and that [you]794-the stony stranger repent of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to [[your]794-the stony stranger excellent benefactress]4441-your excellent benefactress . "[0-i] " Benefactress ! [benefactress]4442-benefactress ! "[0-i] said [I]0-i inwardly : " [they]4443-they all call [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed [[my]0-i benefactress]4444-my benefactress ; if so , [a benefactress]4445-a benefactress is a disagreeable thing . "[0-i] " Do [you]156-mrs. reed say [your]156-mrs. reed prayers night and morning ? "[798-my interrogator] continued [[my]0-i interrogator]798-my interrogator . " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[798-my interrogator] " Do [you]156-mrs. reed read [your]156-mrs. reed Bible ? "[0-i] " Sometimes . "[0-i] " With pleasure ? Are [you]156-mrs. reed fond of it ? "[798-my interrogator] " [I]0-i like Revelations , and the book of [Daniel]197-daniel , and Genesis and [Samuel]198-sam , and a little bit of Exodus , and some parts of Kings and Chronicles , and [Job]199-job and [Jonah]200-jonah . "[0-i] " And the Psalms ? [I]0-i hope [you]156-mrs. reed like them ? "[0-i] " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[798-my interrogator] " No ? oh , shocking ! [I]798-my interrogator have [a little boy]4448-a little boy , younger than [you]0-i , who knows six Psalms by heart : and when [you]0-i ask [him]4448-a little boy which [he]4448-a little boy would rather have , a gingerbread - nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn , [he]4448-a little boy says : ' Oh ! the verse of a Psalm ! [angels]4449-angels sing Psalms ; ' says [he]4448-a little boy , ' [I]798-my interrogator wish to be a little angel here below ; ' [he]4448-a little boy then gets two nuts in recompense for [his]4448-a little boy infant piety . "[798-my interrogator] " Psalms are not interesting , "[0-i] [I]0-i remarked . " That proves [you]0-i have a wicked heart ; and [you]0-i must pray to [God]180-mrs. fairfax to change it : to give [you]0-i a new and clean one : to take away [your]0-i heart of stone and give [you]0-i a heart of flesh . "[0-i] [I]0-i was about to propound a question , touching the manner in which that operation of changing [my]0-i heart was to be performed , when [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed interposed , telling [me]0-i to sit down ; [she]156-mrs. reed then proceeded to carry on the conversation [herself]156-mrs. reed . " [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , [I]156-mrs. reed believe [I]156-mrs. reed intimated in the letter which [I]156-mrs. reed wrote to [you]196-mr. brocklehurst three weeks ago , that [this little girl]4450-this little girl has not quite the character and disposition [I]156-mrs. reed could wish : should [you]196-mr. brocklehurst admit [her]4450-this little girl into [Lowood school]24-lowood school , [I]156-mrs. reed should be glad if [the superintendent]4451-the superintendent and [teachers]4452-teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on [her]4450-this little girl , and , above all , to guard against [her]4450-this little girl worst fault , a tendency to deceit . [I]156-mrs. reed mention this in [your]196-mr. brocklehurst hearing , [Jane]146-jane , that [you]196-mr. brocklehurst may not attempt to impose on [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst . "[156-mrs. reed] Well might [I]0-i dread , well might [I]0-i dislike [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ; for it was [her]156-mrs. reed nature to wound [me]0-i cruelly ; never was [I]0-i happy in [her]156-mrs. reed presence ; however carefully [I]0-i obeyed , however strenuously [I]0-i strove to please [her]156-mrs. reed , [my]0-i efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above . Now , uttered before [a stranger]799-a stranger , the accusation cut [me]0-i to the heart ; [I]0-i dimly perceived that [she]156-mrs. reed was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which [she]156-mrs. reed destined [me]0-i to enter ; [I]0-i felt , though [I]0-i could not have expressed the feeling , that [she]156-mrs. reed was sowing aversion and unkindness along [my]0-i future path ; [I]0-i saw [myself]0-i transformed under [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst 's eye into [an artful , noxious child]800-an artful , noxious child , and what could [I]0-i do to remedy the injury ? " Nothing , indeed , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , as [I]0-i struggled to repress a sob , and hastily wiped away some tears , the impotent evidences of [my]0-i anguish . " Deceit is , indeed , a sad fault in [a child]4305-a child , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] said [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; " it is akin to falsehood , and [all liars]4454-all liars will have [their]4454-all liars portion in [the lake]4455-the lake burning with fire and brimstone ; [she]156-mrs. reed shall , however , be watched , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed . [I]196-mr. brocklehurst will speak to [Miss Temple]201-miss temple and [the teachers]4456-the teachers . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " [I]4444-my benefactress should wish [her]156-mrs. reed to be brought up in a manner suiting [her]156-mrs. reed prospects , "[4444-my benefactress] continued [[my]0-i benefactress]4444-my benefactress ; " to be made useful , to be kept humble : as for the vacations , [she]156-mrs. reed will , with [your]0-i permission , spend them always at [Lowood]25-lowood . "[4444-my benefactress] " [Your]0-i decisions are perfectly judicious , [madam]4457-madam , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] returned [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst . " Humility is a Christian grace , and one peculiarly appropriate to [the pupils of [Lowood]25-lowood]4458-the pupils of lowood ; [I]196-mr. brocklehurst , therefore , direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst [them]4458-the pupils of lowood . [I]196-mr. brocklehurst have studied how best to mortify in [them]4458-the pupils of lowood the worldly sentiment of pride ; and , only the other day , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst had a pleasing proof of [my]196-mr. brocklehurst success . [[My]196-mr. brocklehurst second daughter]4459-my second daughter , [Augusta]202-augusta , went with [[her]202-augusta mama]4460-her mama to visit [the school]4461-the school , and on [her]202-augusta return [she]202-augusta exclaimed : ' Oh , [dear papa]4462-dear papa , how quiet and plain [all the girls at [Lowood]25-lowood]4463-all the girls at lowood look , with [their]4463-all the girls at lowood hair combed behind [their]4463-all the girls at lowood ears , and [their]4463-all the girls at lowood long pinafores , and those little holland pockets outside [their]4463-all the girls at lowood frocks - [they]4463-all the girls at lowood are almost like [[poor people]4403-poor people 's children]4465-poor people 's children ! and , ' said [she]202-augusta , ' [they]4463-all the girls at lowood looked at [my]196-mr. brocklehurst dress and [mama]4313-mama 's , as if [they]4463-all the girls at lowood had never seen a silk gown before . ' "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " This is the state of things [I]156-mrs. reed quite approve , "[156-mrs. reed] returned [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ; " had [I]156-mrs. reed sought all [England]21-england over , [I]156-mrs. reed could scarcely have found a system more exactly fitting [a child]4305-a child like [Jane Eyre]146-jane . Consistency , [[my]156-mrs. reed dear]4468-my dear [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; [I]156-mrs. reed advocate consistency in all things . "[156-mrs. reed] " Consistency , [madam]4457-madam , is the first of Christian duties ; and it has been observed in every arrangement connected with the establishment of [Lowood]25-lowood : plain fare , simple attire , unsophisticated accommodations , hardy and active habits ; such is the order of the day in [the house]4322-the house and [its inhabitants]4471-its inhabitants . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " Quite right , [sir]4374-sir . [I]156-mrs. reed may then depend upon [this child]4473-this child being received as [a pupil at [Lowood]25-lowood]4474-a pupil at lowood , and there being trained in conformity to [her]4473-this child position and prospects ? "[156-mrs. reed] " [Madam]4457-madam , [you]4457-madam may : [she]4473-this child shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants , and [I]196-mr. brocklehurst trust [she]4473-this child will show [herself]4473-this child grateful for the inestimable privilege of [her]4473-this child election . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " [I]196-mr. brocklehurst will send [her]4473-this child , then , as soon as possible , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; for , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst assure [you]196-mr. brocklehurst , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming too irksome . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " No doubt , no doubt , [madam]4457-madam ; and now [I]156-mrs. reed wish [you]196-mr. brocklehurst good morning . [I]156-mrs. reed shall return to [Brocklehurst Hall]26-brocklehurst hall in the course of a week or two : [[my]156-mrs. reed good friend]4477-my good friend , [the Archdeacon]4478-the archdeacon , will not permit [me]156-mrs. reed to leave [him]4477-my good friend sooner . [I]156-mrs. reed shall send [Miss Temple]201-miss temple notice that [she]201-miss temple is to expect [a new girl]4479-a new girl , so that there will [he]4477-my good friend no difficulty about receiving [her]4479-a new girl . Good - bye . "[156-mrs. reed] " Good - bye , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; remember [me]196-mr. brocklehurst to [Mrs.]4480-mrs. and [Miss Brocklehurst]203-miss brocklehurst , and to [Augusta]202-augusta and [Theodore]204-theodore , and [Master Broughton Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " [I]156-mrs. reed will , [madam]4457-madam . [Little girl]4432-little girl , here is a book entitled the ' Child 's Guide , ' read it with prayer , especially that part containing ' An account of the awfully sudden death of [Martha G]205-martha g - , [a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit]4483-a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit . ' "[156-mrs. reed] With these words [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst put into [my]0-i hand a thin pamphlet sewn in a cover , and having rung for [[his]196-mr. brocklehurst carriage]802-his carriage , [he]196-mr. brocklehurst departed . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed and [I]0-i were left alone : some minutes passed in silence ; [she]156-mrs. reed was sewing , [I]0-i was watching [her]156-mrs. reed . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed might be at that time some six or seven and thirty ; [she]156-mrs. reed was [a woman of robust frame]803-a woman of robust frame , square - shouldered and strong - limbed , not tall , and , though stout , not obese : [she]156-mrs. reed had a somewhat large face , the under jaw being much developed and very solid ; [her]156-mrs. reed brow was low , [her]156-mrs. reed chin large and prominent , mouth and nose sufficiently regular ; under [her]156-mrs. reed light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth ; [her]156-mrs. reed skin was dark and opaque , [her]156-mrs. reed hair nearly flaxen ; [her]156-mrs. reed constitution was sound as a bell - illness never came near [her]156-mrs. reed ; [she]156-mrs. reed was [an exact , clever manager]804-an exact , clever manager ; [her]156-mrs. reed household and [tenantry]805-tenantry were thoroughly under [her]156-mrs. reed control ; [[her]156-mrs. reed children]599-her children only at times defied [her]156-mrs. reed authority and laughed it to scorn ; [she]156-mrs. reed dressed well , and had a presence and port calculated to set off handsome attire . Sitting on a low stool , a few yards from [her]156-mrs. reed arm - chair , [I]0-i examined [her]156-mrs. reed figure ; [I]0-i perused [her]156-mrs. reed features . In [my]0-i hand [I]0-i held the tract containing the sudden death of [the Liar]807-the liar , to which narrative [my]0-i attention had been pointed as to an appropriate warning . What had just passed ; what [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed had said concerning [me]0-i to [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; the whole tenor of [their]808-their conversation , was recent , raw , and stinging in [my]0-i mind ; [I]0-i had felt every word as acutely as [I]0-i had heard it plainly , and a passion of resentment fomented now within [me]0-i . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed looked up from [her]156-mrs. reed work ; [her]156-mrs. reed eye settled on [mine]0-i , [her]156-mrs. reed fingers at the same time suspended their nimble movements . " Go out of [the room]535-the room ; return to [the nursery]571-the nursery , "[156-mrs. reed] was [her]156-mrs. reed mandate . [My]0-i look or something else must have struck [her]156-mrs. reed as offensive , for [she]156-mrs. reed spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation . [I]0-i got up , [I]0-i went to the door ; [I]0-i came back again ; [I]0-i walked to the window , across [the room]535-the room , then close up to [her]156-mrs. reed . SPEAK [I]0-i must : [I]0-i had been trodden on severely , and MUST turn : but how ? What strength had [I]0-i to dart retaliation at [[my]0-i antagonist]810-my antagonist ? [I]0-i gathered [my]0-i energies and launched them in this blunt sentence - " [I]0-i am not deceitful : if [I]0-i were , [I]0-i should say [I]0-i loved [you]156-mrs. reed ; but [I]0-i declare [I]0-i do not love [you]156-mrs. reed : [I]0-i dislike [you]156-mrs. reed the worst of anybody in [the world]484-the world except [John Reed]159-john ; and this book about the liar , [you]156-mrs. reed may give to [[your]156-mrs. reed girl]4487-your girl , [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana , for it is [she]4487-your girl who tells lies , and not [I.]0-i "[0-i] [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's hands still lay on [her]156-mrs. reed work inactive : [her]156-mrs. reed eye of ice continued to dwell freezingly on [mine]811-mine . " What more have [you]0-i to say ? "[156-mrs. reed] [she]156-mrs. reed asked , rather in the tone in which [a person]812-a person might address [an opponent of adult age]813-an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily used to [a child]4305-a child . That eye of [hers]156-mrs. reed , that voice stirred every antipathy [I]0-i had . Shaking from head to foot , thrilled with ungovernable excitement , [I]0-i continued - " [I]0-i am glad [you]156-mrs. reed are [no relation of [mine]0-i]4488-no relation of mine : [I]0-i will never call [you]156-mrs. reed [aunt]4489-aunt again as long as [I]0-i live . [I]0-i will never come to see [you]156-mrs. reed when [I]0-i am grown up ; and if [any one]591-any one asks [me]0-i how [I]0-i liked [you]156-mrs. reed , and how [you]156-mrs. reed treated [me]0-i , [I]0-i will say the very thought of [you]156-mrs. reed makes [me]0-i sick , and that [you]156-mrs. reed treated [me]0-i with miserable cruelty . "[0-i] " How dare [you]156-mrs. reed affirm that , [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? "[0-i] " How dare [I]0-i , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? How dare [I]0-i ? Because it is the TRUTH . [You]156-mrs. reed think [I]0-i have no feelings , and that [I]0-i can do without one bit of love or kindness ; but [I]0-i can not live so : and [you]156-mrs. reed have no pity . [I]0-i shall remember how [you]156-mrs. reed thrust [me]0-i back - roughly and violently thrust [me]0-i back - into [the red - room]4331-the red - room , and locked [me]0-i up there , to [my]0-i dying day ; though [I]0-i was in agony ; though [I]0-i cried out , while suffocating with distress , ' Have mercy ! Have mercy , [Aunt Reed]190-aunt reed ! ' And that punishment [you]156-mrs. reed made [me]0-i suffer because [[your]156-mrs. reed wicked boy]4492-your wicked boy struck [me]0-i - knocked [me]0-i down for nothing . [I]0-i will tell anybody who asks [me]0-i questions , this exact tale . [People]4493-people think [you]156-mrs. reed [a good woman]4494-a good woman , but [you]156-mrs. reed are bad , hard- hearted . [YOU]156-mrs. reed are deceitful ! "[0-i] Ere [I]0-i had finished this reply , [my]0-i soul began to expand , to exult , with the strangest sense of freedom , of triumph , [I]0-i ever felt . It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst , and that [I]0-i had struggled out into unhoped - for liberty . Not without cause was this sentiment : [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed looked frightened ; [her]156-mrs. reed work had slipped from [her]156-mrs. reed knee ; [she]156-mrs. reed was lifting up [her]156-mrs. reed hands , rocking [herself]156-mrs. reed to and fro , and even twisting [her]156-mrs. reed face as if [she]156-mrs. reed would cry . " [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane are under a mistake : what is the matter with [you]146-jane ? Why do [you]146-jane tremble so violently ? Would [you]146-jane like to drink some water ? "[156-mrs. reed] " No , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed . "[156-mrs. reed] " Is there anything else [you]146-jane wish for , [Jane]146-jane ? [I]156-mrs. reed assure [you]146-jane , [I]156-mrs. reed desire to be [[your]146-jane friend]4495-your friend . "[156-mrs. reed] " Not [you]146-jane . [You]146-jane told [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst [I]156-mrs. reed had a bad character , a deceitful disposition ; and [I]156-mrs. reed 'll let [everybody at]4496-everybody at [Lowood]25-lowood know what [you]146-jane are , and what [you]146-jane have done . "[156-mrs. reed] " [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane do n't understand these things : [children]524-children must be corrected for [their]524-children faults . "[156-mrs. reed] " Deceit is not [my]0-i fault ! "[0-i] [I]0-i cried out in a savage , high voice . " But [you]146-jane are passionate , [Jane]146-jane , that [you]146-jane must allow : and now return to [the nursery]571-the nursery - there 's [a dear]4499-a dear - and lie down a little . "[0-i] " [I]156-mrs. reed am not [[your]146-jane dear]4500-your dear ; [I]156-mrs. reed can not lie down : send [me]156-mrs. reed to [school]537-school soon , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , for [I]156-mrs. reed hate to live [here]4312-here . "[156-mrs. reed] " [I]156-mrs. reed will indeed send [her]4499-a dear to [school]537-school soon , "[156-mrs. reed] murmured [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed sotto voce ; and gathering up [her]156-mrs. reed work , [she]156-mrs. reed abruptly quitted [the apartment]560-the apartment . [I]0-i was left [there]4426-there alone - winner of [the field]817-the field . It was the hardest battle [I]0-i had fought , and the first victory [I]0-i had gained : [I]0-i stood awhile on the rug , where [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst had stood , and [I]0-i enjoyed [[my]0-i conqueror]818-my conqueror 's solitude . First , [I]0-i smiled to [myself]0-i and felt elate ; but this fierce pleasure subsided in [me]0-i as fast as did the accelerated throb of [my]0-i pulses . [A child]4305-a child can not quarrel with [[its]4305-a child elders]820-its elders , as [I]0-i had done ; can not give [its]4305-a child furious feelings uncontrolled play , as [I]0-i had given [mine]0-i , without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction . [A ridge of lighted heath]821-a ridge of lighted heath , alive , glancing , devouring , would have been a meet emblem of [my]0-i mind when [I]0-i accused and menaced [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed : [the same ridge]822-the same ridge , black and blasted after the flames are dead , would have represented as meetly [my]0-i subsequent condition , when half - an - hour 's silence and reflection had shown [me]0-i the madness of [my]0-i conduct , and the dreariness of [my]0-i hated and hating position . Something of vengeance [I]0-i had tasted for the first time ; as aromatic wine it seemed , on swallowing , warm and racy : its after - flavour , metallic and corroding , gave [me]0-i a sensation as if [I]0-i had been poisoned . [Willingly]206-willingly would [I]0-i now have gone and asked [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's pardon ; but [I]0-i knew , partly from experience and partly from instinct , that was the way to make [her]156-mrs. reed repulse [me]0-i with double scorn , thereby re - exciting every turbulent impulse of [my]0-i nature . [I]0-i would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking ; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation . [I]0-i took a book - some Arabian tales ; [I]0-i sat down and endeavoured to read . [I]0-i could make no sense of the subject ; [my]0-i own thoughts swam always between [me]0-i and the page [I]0-i had usually found fascinating . [I]0-i opened the glass - door in [the breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room : the shrubbery was quite still : the black frost reigned , unbroken by sun or breeze , through [the grounds]772-the grounds . [I]0-i covered [my]0-i head and arms with the skirt of [my]0-i frock , and went out to walk in a part of [the plantation]825-the plantation which was quite sequestrated ; but [I]0-i found no pleasure in the silent trees , the falling fir - cones , the congealed relics of autumn , russet leaves , swept by past winds in heaps , and now stiffened together . [I]0-i leaned against a gate , and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding , where the short grass was nipped and blanched . It was a very grey day ; a most opaque sky , " onding on snaw , "[828-a wretched child] canopied all ; thence flakes felt it intervals , which settled on [the hard path]826-the hard path and on [the hoary lea]827-the hoary lea without melting . [I]0-i stood , [a wretched child]828-a wretched child enough , whispering to [myself]0-i over and over again , " What shall [I]0-i do ? - what shall [I]0-i do ? "[0-i] All at once [I]0-i heard a clear voice call , " [Miss Jane]146-jane ! where are [you]146-jane ? Come to lunch ! "[195-bessie] It was [Bessie]195-bessie , [I]0-i knew well enough ; but [I]0-i did not stir ; [her]195-bessie light step came tripping down [the path]829-the path . " [You]146-jane naughty little thing ! "[195-bessie] [she]195-bessie said . " Why do n't [you]146-jane come when [you]146-jane are called ? "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie 's presence , compared with the thoughts over which [I]0-i had been brooding , seemed cheerful ; even though , as usual , [she]195-bessie was somewhat cross . The fact is , after [my]0-i conflict with and victory over [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , [I]0-i was not disposed to care much for [the nursemaid]830-the nursemaid 's transitory anger ; and [I]0-i WAS disposed to bask in [her]195-bessie youthful lightness of heart . [I]0-i just put [my]0-i two arms round [her]195-bessie and said , " Come , [Bessie]195-bessie ! do n't scold . "[0-i] The action was more frank and fearless than any [I]0-i was habituated to indulge in : somehow it pleased [her]195-bessie . " [You]0-i are [a strange child]4504-a strange child , [Miss Jane]146-jane , "[195-bessie] [she]195-bessie said , as [she]195-bessie looked down at [me]0-i ; " a little roving , solitary thing : and [you]0-i are going to [school]537-school , [I]195-bessie suppose ? "[195-bessie] [I]0-i nodded . " And wo n't [you]0-i be sorry to leave poor [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " What does [Bessie]195-bessie care for [me]195-bessie ? [She]195-bessie is always scolding [me]195-bessie . "[195-bessie] " Because [you]0-i 're such [a queer , frightened , shy little thing]4506-a queer , frightened , shy little thing . [You]0-i should be bolder . "[195-bessie] " What ! to get more knocks ? "[195-bessie] " Nonsense ! But [you]0-i are rather put upon , that 's certain . [[My]195-bessie mother]612-my mother said , when [she]612-my mother came to see [me]195-bessie last week , that [she]612-my mother would not like a little one of [her]612-my mother own to be in [your]0-i place . - Now , come in , and [I]195-bessie 've some good news for [you]0-i . "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie do n't think [you]0-i have , [Bessie]195-bessie . "[195-bessie] " [Child]4354-child ! what do [you]0-i mean ? What sorrowful eyes [you]0-i fix on [me]195-bessie ! Well , but [Missis]178-missis and [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies and [Master John]177-st. john are going out to tea this afternoon , and [you]0-i shall have tea with [me]195-bessie . [I]195-bessie 'll ask [cook]4510-cook to bake [you]0-i a little cake , and then [you]0-i shall help [me]195-bessie to look over [your]0-i drawers ; for [I]195-bessie am soon to pack [your]0-i trunk . [Missis]178-missis intends [you]0-i to leave [Gateshead]20-gateshead in a day or two , and [you]0-i shall choose what toys [you]0-i like to take with [you]0-i . "[195-bessie] " [Bessie]195-bessie , [you]195-bessie must promise not to scold [me]195-bessie any more till [I]195-bessie go . "[195-bessie] " Well , [I]195-bessie will ; but mind [you]195-bessie are [a very good girl]4511-a very good girl , and do n't be afraid of [me]195-bessie . Do n't start when [I]195-bessie chance to speak rather sharply ; it 's so provoking . "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie do n't think [I]195-bessie shall ever be afraid of [you]195-bessie again , [Bessie]195-bessie , because [I]195-bessie have got used to [you]195-bessie , and [I]195-bessie shall soon have another set of [people to dread]4512-people to dread . "[195-bessie] " If [you]195-bessie dread [them]4512-people to dread [they]4512-people to dread 'll dislike [you]195-bessie . "[195-bessie] " As [you]195-bessie do , [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie do n't dislike [you]195-bessie , [Miss]4513-miss ; [I]195-bessie believe [I]195-bessie am fonder of [you]195-bessie than of [all the others]4514-all the others . "[195-bessie] " [You]195-bessie do n't show it . "[195-bessie] " [You]195-bessie little sharp thing ! [you]195-bessie 've got quite a new way of talking . What makes [you]195-bessie so venturesome and hardy ? "[195-bessie] " Why , [I]195-bessie shall soon be away from [you]195-bessie , and besides "[195-bessie] - [I]0-i was going to say something about what had passed between [me]0-i and [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , but on second thoughts [I]0-i considered it better to remain silent on that head . " And so [you]195-bessie 're glad to leave [me]0-i ? "[0-i] " Not at all , [Bessie]195-bessie ; indeed , just now [I]195-bessie 'm rather sorry . "[195-bessie] " Just now ! and rather ! How coolly [[my]0-i little lady]4515-my little lady says it ! [I]0-i dare say now if [I]0-i were to ask [you]195-bessie for a kiss [you]195-bessie would n't give it [me]0-i : [you]195-bessie 'd say [you]195-bessie 'd RATHER not . "[0-i] " [I]195-bessie 'll kiss [you]195-bessie and welcome : bend [your]195-bessie head down . "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie stooped ; [we]831-we mutually embraced , and [I]0-i followed [her]195-bessie into [the house]4322-the house quite comforted . That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony ; and in the evening [Bessie]195-bessie told [me]0-i some of [her]195-bessie most enchanting stories , and sang [me]0-i some of [her]195-bessie sweetest songs . Even for [me]0-i life had its gleams of sunshine . CHAPTER V Five o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January , when [Bessie]195-bessie brought a candle into [[my]0-i closet]833-my closet and found [me]0-i already up and nearly dressed . [I]0-i had risen half - an - hour before [her]195-bessie entrance , and had washed [my]0-i face , and put on [my]0-i clothes by the light of a half - moon just setting , whose rays streamed through the narrow window near [[my]0-i crib]735-my crib . [I]0-i was to leave [Gateshead]20-gateshead that day by [a coach]835-a coach which passed the lodge gates at six a.m. [Bessie]195-bessie was [the only person yet risen]836-the only person yet risen ; [she]195-bessie had lit a fire in [the nursery]571-the nursery , where [she]195-bessie now proceeded to make [my]0-i breakfast . [Few children]838-few children can eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey ; nor could [I.]0-i [Bessie]195-bessie , having pressed [me]0-i in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and bread [she]195-bessie had prepared for [me]0-i , wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and put them into [my]0-i bag ; then [she]195-bessie helped [me]0-i on with [my]0-i pelisse and bonnet , and wrapping [herself]195-bessie in a shawl , [she]195-bessie and [I]0-i left [the nursery]571-the nursery . As [we]840-we passed [[Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's bedroom]841-mrs. reed 's bedroom , [she]195-bessie said , " Will [you]0-i go in and bid [Missis]178-missis good - bye ? "[195-bessie] " No , [Bessie]195-bessie : [she]178-missis came to [[my]195-bessie crib]735-my crib last night when [you]0-i were gone down to supper , and said [I]195-bessie need not disturb [her]178-missis in the morning , or [[my]195-bessie cousins]729-my cousins either ; and [she]178-missis told [me]195-bessie to remember that [she]178-missis had always been [[my]195-bessie best friend]4518-my best friend , and to speak of [her]178-missis and be grateful to [her]178-missis accordingly . "[195-bessie] " What did [you]0-i say , [Miss]4519-miss ? "[195-bessie] " Nothing : [I]195-bessie covered [my]195-bessie face with the bedclothes , and turned from [her]178-missis to the wall . "[195-bessie] " That was wrong , [Miss Jane]146-jane . "[195-bessie] " It was quite right , [Bessie]195-bessie . [[Your]195-bessie [Missis]178-missis]4520-your missis has not been [[my]195-bessie friend]4521-my friend : [she]178-missis has been [[my]195-bessie foe]4522-my foe . "[195-bessie] " [O Miss Jane]146-jane ! do n't say so ! "[195-bessie] " Good - bye to [Gateshead]20-gateshead ! "[0-i] cried [I]0-i , as [we]842-we passed through [the hall]608-the hall and went out at the front door . The moon was set , and it was very dark ; [Bessie]195-bessie carried a lantern , whose light glanced on wet steps and [gravel road]844-gravel road sodden by a recent thaw . Raw and chill was the winter morning : [my]0-i teeth chattered as [I]0-i hastened down [the drive]778-the drive . There was a light in [[the porter]846-the porter 's lodge]773-the porter 's lodge : when [we]842-we reached [it]773-the porter 's lodge , [we]842-we found [[the porter]846-the porter 's wife]849-the porter 's wife just kindling [her]849-the porter 's wife fire : [my]0-i trunk , which had been carried down the evening before , stood corded at the door . It wanted but a few minutes of six , and shortly after that hour had struck , the distant roll of wheels announced [the coming coach]850-the coming coach ; [I]0-i went to the door and watched [its]850-the coming coach lamps approach rapidly through the gloom . " Is [she]849-the porter 's wife going by [herself]849-the porter 's wife ? "[846-the porter] asked [[the porter]846-the porter 's wife]849-the porter 's wife . " Yes . "[846-the porter] " And how far is it ? "[855-the guard] " Fifty miles . "[846-the porter] " What a long way ! [I]846-the porter wonder [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed is not afraid to trust [her]849-the porter 's wife so far alone . "[846-the porter] [The coach]853-the coach drew up ; there it was at the gates with [its]853-the coach four horses and its top laden with [passengers]854-passengers : [the guard]855-the guard and [coachman]856-coachman loudly urged haste ; [my]0-i trunk was hoisted up ; [I]0-i was taken from [Bessie]195-bessie 's neck , to which [I]0-i clung with kisses . " Be sure and take good care of [her]195-bessie , "[195-bessie] cried [she]195-bessie to [the guard]855-the guard , as [he]855-the guard lifted [me]0-i into the inside . " Ay , ay ! "[855-the guard] was the answer : the door was slapped to , a voice exclaimed " All right , "[855-the guard] and on [we]858-we drove . Thus was [I]0-i severed from [Bessie]195-bessie and [Gateshead]20-gateshead ; thus whirled away to unknown , and , as [I]0-i then deemed , [remote and mysterious regions]859-remote and mysterious regions . [I]0-i remember but little of the journey ; [I]0-i only know that the day seemed to [me]0-i of a preternatural length , and that [we]858-we appeared to travel over [hundreds of miles of road]860-hundreds of miles of road . [We]858-we passed through [several towns]861-several towns , and in [one , a very large one]862-one , a very large one , [the coach]853-the coach stopped ; the horses were taken out , and [the passengers]864-the passengers alighted to dine . [I]0-i was carried into [an inn]865-an inn , where [the guard]855-the guard wanted [me]0-i to have some dinner ; but , as [I]0-i had no appetite , [he]855-the guard left [me]0-i in [an immense room]867-an immense room with a fireplace at each end , a chandelier pendent from the ceiling , and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled with musical instruments . Here [I]0-i walked about for a long time , feeling very strange , and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and kidnapping [me]0-i ; for [I]0-i believed in [kidnappers]868-kidnappers , [their]868-kidnappers exploits having frequently figured in [[Bessie]195-bessie 's fireside chronicles]869-bessie 's fireside chronicles . At last [the guard]855-the guard returned ; once more [I]0-i was stowed away in [the coach]853-the coach , [[my]0-i protector]872-my protector mounted [his]872-my protector own seat , sounded [his]872-my protector hollow horn , and away [we]873-we rattled over [the ' stony street " of [L-]28-l-]4523-the ' stony street " of l- . The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty : as it waned into dusk , [I]872-my protector began to feel that [we]873-we were getting very far indeed from [Gateshead]20-gateshead : [we]873-we ceased to pass through [towns]4524-towns ; [the country]4525-the country changed ; [great grey hills]4526-great grey hills heaved up round the horizon : as twilight deepened , [we]873-we descended [a valley , dark with wood]4527-a valley , dark with wood , and long after night had overclouded the prospect , [I]872-my protector heard a wild wind rushing amongst trees . Lulled by the sound , [I]872-my protector at last dropped asleep ; [I]872-my protector had not long slumbered when the sudden cessation of motion awoke [me]872-my protector ; the coach - door was open , and [a person like [a servant]4337-a servant]4528-a person like a servant was standing at [it]4530-it : [I]872-my protector saw [her]4528-a person like a servant face and dress by the light of the lamps . "[872-my protector] Is there [a little girl called [Jane Eyre]146-jane [here]4312-here]874-a little girl called jane eyre here ? " [she]4528-a person like a servant asked . [I]872-my protector answered "[872-my protector] Yes , " and was then lifted out ; [my]872-my protector trunk was handed down , and [the coach]853-the coach instantly drove away . [I]872-my protector was stiff with long sitting , and bewildered with the noise and motion of [the coach]853-the coach : Gathering [my]872-my protector faculties , [I]872-my protector looked about [me]872-my protector . Rain , wind , and darkness filled the air ; nevertheless , [I]872-my protector dimly discerned a wall before [me]872-my protector and a door open in it ; through this door [I]872-my protector passed with [[my]872-my protector new guide]4533-my new guide : [she]4528-a person like a servant shut and locked it behind [her]4528-a person like a servant . There was now visible [a house]4534-a house or [houses]665-houses - for [the building]4536-the building spread far - with many windows , and lights burning in some ; [we]4537-we went up [a broad pebbly path]4538-a broad pebbly path , splashing wet , and were admitted at a door ; then [the servant]4539-the servant led [me]872-my protector through [a passage]4540-a passage into [a room with a fire , where [she]4528-a person like a servant left [me]872-my protector alone]4541-a room with a fire , where she left me alone . [I]872-my protector stood and warmed [my]872-my protector numbed fingers over the blaze , then [I]872-my protector looked round ; there was no candle , but the uncertain light from the hearth showed , by intervals , papered walls , carpet , curtains , shining mahogany furniture : it was [a parlour]4542-a parlour , not so spacious or splendid as [the drawing - room at [Gateshead]20-gateshead]4543-the drawing - room at gateshead , but comfortable enough . [I]872-my protector was puzzling to make out the subject of a picture on the wall , when the door opened , and [an individual carrying a light]4544-an individual carrying a light entered ; [another]4545-another followed close behind . [The first]4546-the first was [a tall lady with dark hair , dark eyes , and a pale and large forehead]4547-a tall lady with dark hair , dark eyes , and a pale and large forehead ; [her]4546-the first figure was partly enveloped in a shawl , [her]4546-the first countenance was grave , [her]4546-the first bearing erect . "[872-my protector] [The child]4339-the child is very young to be sent alone , " said [she]4546-the first , putting [her]4546-the first candle down on the table . [She]4546-the first considered [me]4339-the child attentively for a minute or two , then further added - "[4339-the child] [She]4339-the child had better be put to bed soon ; [she]4339-the child looks tired : are [you]877-you tired ? " [she]4546-the first asked , placing [her]4546-the first hand on [my]4339-the child shoulder . "[4339-the child] A little , [ma'am]4353-ma'am . " "[4339-the child] And hungry too , no doubt : let [her]4339-the child have some supper before [she]4339-the child goes to bed , [Miss Miller]207-miss miller . Is this the first time [you]877-you have left [[your]877-you parents]879-your parents to come to [school]537-school , [[my]0-i little girl]881-my little girl ? " [I]4339-the child explained to [her]4546-the first that [I]4339-the child had [no parents]4548-no parents . [She]4546-the first inquired how long [they]879-your parents had been dead : then how old [I]4339-the child was , what was [my]4339-the child name , whether [I]4339-the child could read , write , and sew a little : then [she]4546-the first touched [my]4339-the child cheek gently with [her]4546-the first forefinger , and saying , "[4339-the child] [She]4339-the child hoped [I]0-i should be [a good child]4434-a good child , " dismissed [me]4339-the child along with [Miss Miller]207-miss miller . [The lady [I]4339-the child had left]4549-the lady i had left might be about twenty - nine ; [the one who went with [me]4339-the child]4550-the one who went with me appeared some years younger : the first impressed [me]4339-the child by [her]207-miss miller voice , look , and air . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller was more ordinary ; ruddy in complexion , though of a careworn countenance ; hurried in gait and action , like [one who had always a multiplicity of tasks on hand]4551-one who had always a multiplicity of tasks on hand : [she]207-miss miller looked , indeed , what [I]4339-the child afterwards found [she]207-miss miller really was , [an under - teacher]4552-an under - teacher . Led by [her]207-miss miller , [I]4339-the child passed from [compartment]4553-compartment to [compartment]4553-compartment , from passage to [passage]4555-passage , of [a large and irregular building]4556-a large and irregular building ; till , emerging from the total and somewhat dreary silence pervading [that portion of [the house]4322-the house [we]4559-we had traversed]4557-that portion of the house we had traversed , [we]4559-we came upon the hum of many voices , and presently entered [a wide , long room]4560-a wide , long room , with great deal tables , two at each end , on each of which burnt a pair of candles , and seated all round on benches , [a congregation of [girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty]4562-girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty . Seen by the dim light of the dips , [their]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty number to [me]4339-the child appeared countless , though not in reality exceeding eighty ; [they]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of quaint fashion , and long holland pinafores . It was the hour of study ; [they]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty were engaged in conning over [their]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty to- morrow 's task , and the hum [I]4339-the child had heard was the combined result of [their]4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty whispered repetitions . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller signed to [me]4339-the child to sit on a bench near the door , then walking up to the top of [the long room]4563-the long room [she]207-miss miller cried out - "[4339-the child] Monitors , collect the lesson - books and put them away ! [Four tall girls]883-four tall girls arose from different tables , and going round , gathered the books and removed them . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller again gave the word of command - " Monitors , fetch the supper - trays ! "[207-miss miller] [The tall girls]884-the tall girls went out and returned presently , each bearing a tray , with portions of something , [I]0-i knew not what , arranged thereon , and a pitcher of water and mug in the middle of each tray . The portions were handed round ; [those who liked]885-those who liked took a draught of the water , the mug being common to all . When it came to [my]0-i turn , [I]0-i drank , for [I]0-i was thirsty , but did not touch the food , excitement and fatigue rendering [me]0-i incapable of eating : [I]0-i now saw , however , that it was a thin oaten cake shaved into fragments . The meal over , prayers were read by [Miss Miller]207-miss miller , and the classes filed off , two and two , [upstairs]552-upstairs . Overpowered by this time with weariness , [I]0-i scarcely noticed what sort of a place [the bedroom]887-the bedroom was , except that , like [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom , [I]0-i saw it was very long . To - night [I]0-i was to be [Miss Miller]207-miss miller 's bed - fellow ; [she]207-miss miller helped [me]0-i to undress : when laid down [I]0-i glanced at the long rows of beds , each of which was quickly filled with [two occupants]889-two occupants ; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished , and amidst silence and complete darkness [I]0-i fell asleep . The night passed rapidly . [I]0-i was too tired even to dream ; [I]0-i only once awoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts , and the rain fall in torrents , and to be sensible that [Miss Miller]207-miss miller had taken [her]207-miss miller place by [my]0-i side . When [I]0-i again unclosed [my]0-i eyes , a loud bell was ringing ; [the girls]890-the girls were up and dressing ; day had not yet begun to dawn , and a rushlight or two burned in [the room]535-the room . [I]0-i too rose reluctantly ; it was bitter cold , and [I]0-i dressed as well as [I]0-i could for shivering , and washed when there was a basin at liberty , which did not occur soon , as there was but one basin to [six girls]892-six girls , on the stands down the middle of [the room]535-the room . Again the bell rang : [all formed in file , two and two , and in that order]894-all formed in file , two and two , and in that order descended the stairs and entered [the cold and dimly lit schoolroom]895-the cold and dimly lit schoolroom : here prayers were read by [Miss Miller]207-miss miller ; afterwards [she]207-miss miller called out - " Form classes ! "[207-miss miller] A great tumult succeeded for some minutes , during which [Miss Miller]207-miss miller repeatedly exclaimed , " Silence ! "[207-miss miller] and " Order ! "[207-miss miller] When it subsided , [I]0-i saw [them]890-the girls all drawn up in four semicircles , before four chairs , placed at the four tables ; all held books in [their]890-the girls hands , and a great book , like a Bible , lay on each table , before the vacant seat . A pause of some seconds succeeded , filled up by the low , vague hum of numbers ; [Miss Miller]207-miss miller walked from class to class , hushing this indefinite sound . A distant bell tinkled : immediately [three ladies]896-three ladies entered [the room]535-the room , [each]898-each walked to a table and took [her]207-miss miller seat . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller assumed the fourth vacant chair , which was that nearest the door , and around which the smallest of [the children]645-the children were assembled : to this inferior class [I]0-i was called , and placed at the bottom of it . Business now began , the day 's Collect was repeated , then certain texts of Scripture were said , and to these succeeded a protracted reading of chapters in the Bible , which lasted an hour . By the time that exercise was terminated , day had fully dawned . The indefatigable bell now sounded for the fourth time : [the classes]900-the classes were marshalled and marched into [another room]656-another room to breakfast : how glad [I]0-i was to behold a prospect of getting something to eat ! [I]0-i was now nearly sick from inanition , having taken so little the day before . [The refectory]902-the refectory was [a great , low - ceiled , gloomy room]903-a great , low - ceiled , gloomy room ; on two long tables smoked basins of something hot , which , however , to [my]0-i dismay , sent forth an odour far from inviting . [I]0-i saw a universal manifestation of discontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of [those destined to swallow it]904-those destined to swallow it ; from the van of the procession , [the tall girls of the first class]905-the tall girls of the first class , rose the whispered words - " Disgusting ! The porridge is burnt again ! "[905-the tall girls of the first class] " Silence ! "[905-the tall girls of the first class] ejaculated a voice ; not that of [Miss Miller]207-miss miller , but [one of [the upper teachers]907-the upper teachers , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed [herself]906-one of the upper teachers , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed herself at the top of one table , while a more buxom lady presided at the other at the top of one table , while [a more buxom lady]908-a more buxom lady presided at the other]906-one of the upper teachers , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed herself at the top of one table , while a more buxom lady presided at the other . [I]0-i looked in vain for [her]207-miss miller [I]0-i had first seen the night before ; [she]207-miss miller was not visible : [Miss Miller]207-miss miller occupied the foot of the table where [I]0-i sat , and [a strange , foreign - looking , elderly lady , [the French teacher]910-the french teacher , as [I]0-i afterwards found]909-a strange , foreign - looking , elderly lady , the french teacher , as i afterwards found , took the corresponding seat at the other board . A long grace was said and a hymn sung ; then [a servant]4337-a servant brought in some tea for [the teachers]4456-the teachers , and the meal began . Ravenous , and now very faint , [I]0-i devoured a spoonful or two of [my]0-i portion without thinking of its taste ; but the first edge of hunger blunted , [I]0-i perceived [I]0-i had got in hand a nauseous mess ; burnt porridge is almost as bad as rotten potatoes ; famine itself soon sickens over it . The spoons were moved slowly : [I]0-i saw [each girl]913-each girl taste [her]913-each girl food and try to swallow it ; but in most cases the effort was soon relinquished . Breakfast was over , and [none]914-none had breakfasted . Thanks being returned for what [we]915-we had not got , and a second hymn chanted , [the refectory]902-the refectory was evacuated for [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom . [I]0-i was one of the last to go out , and in passing the tables , [I]0-i saw [one teacher]918-one teacher take a basin of the porridge and taste it ; [she]918-one teacher looked at [the others]919-the others ; all [their]919-the others countenances expressed displeasure , and one of [them]919-the others , [the stout one]920-the stout one , whispered - " Abominable stuff ! How shameful ! "[919-the others] A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began , during which [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom was in a glorious tumult ; for that space of time it seemed to be permitted to talk loud and more freely , and [they]919-the others used [their]919-the others privilege . The whole conversation ran on the breakfast , which [one and all]922-one and all abused roundly . Poor things ! it was the sole consolation [they]919-the others had . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller was now [the only teacher in [the room]535-the room]923-the only teacher in the room : [a group of great girls]925-a group of great girls standing about [her]207-miss miller spoke with serious and sullen gestures . [I]0-i heard the name of [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst pronounced by some lips ; at which [Miss Miller]207-miss miller shook [her]207-miss miller head disapprovingly ; but [she]207-miss miller made no great effort to cheek the general wrath ; doubtless [she]207-miss miller shared in it . A clock in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom struck nine ; [Miss Miller]207-miss miller left [her]207-miss miller circle , and standing in the middle of [the room]535-the room , cried - " Silence ! To [your]0-i seats ! "[207-miss miller] Discipline prevailed : in five minutes [the confused throng]928-the confused throng was resolved into order , and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues . [The upper teachers]907-the upper teachers now punctually resumed [their]907-the upper teachers posts : but still , all seemed to wait . Ranged on benches down the sides of [the room]535-the room , [the eighty girls]931-the eighty girls sat motionless and erect ; a quaint assemblage [they]931-the eighty girls appeared , all with plain locks combed from [their]931-the eighty girls faces , not a curl visible ; in brown dresses , made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat , with little pockets of holland shaped something like [a Highlander]932-a highlander 's purse tied in front of [their]931-the eighty girls frocks , and destined to serve the purpose of a work - bag : all , too , wearing woollen stockings and country - made shoes , fastened with brass buckles . Above twenty of [those clad in this costume]933-those clad in this costume were [full - grown girls]934-full - grown girls , or rather [young women]935-young women ; it suited [them]931-the eighty girls ill , and gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest . [I]0-i was still looking at [them]931-the eighty girls , and also at intervals examining [the teachers]4456-the teachers - none of whom precisely pleased [me]0-i ; for [the stout one]920-the stout one was a little coarse , [the dark one]938-the dark one not a little fierce , [the foreigner harsh and grotesque]939-the foreigner harsh and grotesque , and [Miss Miller]207-miss miller , poor thing ! looked purple , weather- beaten , and over - worked - when , as [my]0-i eye wandered from face to face , [the whole school]940-the whole school rose simultaneously , as if moved by a common spring . What was the matter ? [I]0-i had heard no order given : [I]0-i was puzzled . Ere [I]0-i had gathered [my]0-i wits , [the classes]900-the classes were again seated : but as all eyes were now turned to one point , [mine]0-i followed the general direction , and encountered [the personage who had received [me]0-i last night]942-the personage who had received me last night . [She]942-the personage who had received me last night stood at the bottom of [the long room]4563-the long room , on the hearth ; for there was a fire at each end ; [she]942-the personage who had received me last night surveyed [the two rows of girls]944-the two rows of girls silently and gravely . [Miss Miller]207-miss miller approaching , seemed to ask [her]942-the personage who had received me last night a question , and having received [her]942-the personage who had received me last night answer , went back to [her]942-the personage who had received me last night place , and said aloud - " [Monitor of [the first class]4565-the first class]4564-monitor of the first class , fetch the globes ! "[942-the personage who had received me last night] While the direction was being executed , [the lady]945-the lady consulted moved slowly up [the room]535-the room . [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i have a considerable organ of veneration , for [I]0-i retain yet the sense of admiring awe with which [my]0-i eyes traced [her]942-the personage who had received me last night steps . Seen now , in broad daylight , [she]942-the personage who had received me last night looked tall , fair , and shapely ; brown eyes with a benignant light in their iris , and a fine pencilling of long lashes round , relieved the whiteness of [her]942-the personage who had received me last night large front ; on each of [her]942-the personage who had received me last night temples [her]942-the personage who had received me last night hair , of a very dark brown , was clustered in round curls , according to the fashion of those times , when neither smooth bands nor long ringlets were in vogue ; [her]942-the personage who had received me last night dress , also in the mode of the day , was of purple cloth , relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet ; a gold watch watches were not so common then as now shone at [her]942-the personage who had received me last night girdle . Let [the reader]947-the reader add , to complete the picture , refined features ; a complexion , if pale , clear ; and a stately air and carriage , and [he]948-he will have , at least , as clearly as words can give it , a correct idea of the exterior of [Miss Temple]201-miss temple - [Maria Temple]29-maria temple , as [I]0-i afterwards saw the name written in a prayer - book intrusted to [me]0-i to carry to [church]949-church . [The superintendent of Lowood]950-the superintendent of lowood for such was this lady having taken [her]942-the personage who had received me last night seat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables , summoned [the first class]4565-the first class round [her]942-the personage who had received me last night , and commenced giving a lesson on geography ; [the lower classes]952-the lower classes were called by [the teachers]4456-the teachers : repetitions in history , grammar , c. , went on for an hour ; writing and arithmetic succeeded , and music lessons were given by [Miss Temple]201-miss temple to [some of [the elder girls]955-the elder girls]954-some of the elder girls . The duration of each lesson was measured by the clock , which at last struck twelve . [The superintendent]4451-the superintendent rose - " [I]4451-the superintendent have a word to address to [the pupils]4566-the pupils , "[4451-the superintendent] said [she]4451-the superintendent . The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth , but it sank at [her]4451-the superintendent voice . [She]4451-the superintendent went on - " [You]4456-the teachers had this morning a breakfast which [you]4456-the teachers could not eat ; [you]4456-the teachers must be hungry : - [I]4451-the superintendent have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served to [all]4567-all . "[4451-the superintendent] [The teachers]4456-the teachers looked at [her]4451-the superintendent with a sort of surprise . " It is to be done on [my]4451-the superintendent responsibility , "[4451-the superintendent] [she]4451-the superintendent added , in an explanatory tone to [them]4456-the teachers , and immediately afterwards left [the room]535-the room . The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed , to the high delight and refreshment of [the whole school]940-the whole school . The order was now given " To [the garden]4568-the garden ! "[4451-the superintendent] Each put on a coarse straw bonnet , with strings of coloured calico , and a cloak of grey frieze . [I]0-i was similarly equipped , and , following [the stream]960-the stream , [I]0-i made [my]0-i way into the open air . [The garden]4568-the garden was a wide inclosure , surrounded with walls so high as to exclude every glimpse of prospect ; [a covered verandah]962-a covered verandah ran down one side , and broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little beds : [these beds]963-these beds were assigned as gardens for [the pupils]4566-the pupils to cultivate , and [each bed]965-each bed had [an owner]966-an owner . When full of flowers they would doubtless look pretty ; but now , at the latter end of January , all was wintry blight and brown decay . [I]0-i shuddered as [I]0-i stood and looked round [me]0-i : it was an inclement day for outdoor exercise ; not positively rainy , but darkened by a drizzling yellow fog ; all under foot was still soaking wet with the floods of yesterday . The stronger among [the girls]890-the girls ran about and engaged in active games , but [sundry pale and thin ones herded together for shelter and warmth]968-sundry pale and thin ones herded together for shelter and warmth in [the verandah]969-the verandah ; and amongst these , as the dense mist penetrated to their shivering frames , [I]0-i heard frequently the sound of a hollow cough . As yet [I]0-i had spoken to [no one]593-no one , nor did [anybody]4330-anybody seem to take notice of [me]0-i ; [I]0-i stood lonely enough : but to that feeling of isolation [I]0-i was accustomed ; it did not oppress [me]0-i much . [I]0-i leant against a pillar of [the verandah]969-the verandah , drew [my]0-i grey mantle close about [me]0-i , and , trying to forget the cold which nipped [me]0-i without , and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed [me]0-i within , delivered [myself]0-i up to the employment of watching and thinking . [My]0-i reflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record : [I]0-i hardly yet knew where [I]0-i was ; [Gateshead]20-gateshead and [my]0-i past life seemed floated away to an immeasurable distance ; the present was vague and strange , and of the future [I]0-i could form no conjecture . [I]0-i looked round [the convent - like garden]973-the convent - like garden , and then up at [the house]4322-the house - [a large building , half of which]975-a large building , half of which seemed grey and old , the other half quite new . [The new part , containing [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom and [dormitory]978-dormitory]976-the new part , containing the schoolroom and dormitory , was lit by mullioned and latticed windows , which gave [it]976-the new part , containing the schoolroom and dormitory a church - like aspect ; a stone tablet over the door bore this inscription:- " [Lowood Institution]30-lowood institution . - [This portion]4569-this portion was rebuilt A.D. - , by [Naomi Brocklehurst]208-naomi brocklehurst , of [Brocklehurst Hall]26-brocklehurst hall , in [this county]4570-this county . "[0-i] " Let [your]0-i light so shine before [men]482-men , that [they]482-men may see [your]0-i good works , and glorify [[your]0-i Father]4318-your father which is in heaven . "[0-i] - St. Matt . v. 16 . [I]0-i read these words over and over again : [I]0-i felt that an explanation belonged to [them]979-them , and was unable fully to penetrate [their]979-them import . [I]0-i was still pondering the signification of " Institution , "[0-i] and endeavouring to make out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture , when the sound of a cough close behind [me]0-i made [me]0-i turn [my]0-i head . [I]0-i saw [a girl]980-a girl sitting on a stone bench near ; [she]980-a girl was bent over a book , on the perusal of which [she]980-a girl seemed intent : from where [I]0-i stood [I]0-i could see the title - it was " [Rasselas]209-rasselas ; "[980-a girl] a name that struck [me]0-i as strange , and consequently attractive . In turning a leaf [she]980-a girl happened to look up , and [I]0-i said to [her]980-a girl directly - " Is [your]980-a girl book interesting ? "[0-i] [I]0-i had already formed the intention of asking [her]980-a girl to lend it to [me]0-i some day . " [I]980-a girl like it , "[980-a girl] [she]980-a girl answered , after a pause of a second or two , during which [she]980-a girl examined [me]0-i . " What is it about ? "[0-i] [I]0-i continued . [I]0-i hardly know where [I]0-i found the hardihood thus to open a conversation with [a stranger]799-a stranger ; the step was contrary to [my]0-i nature and habits : but [I]0-i think [her]980-a girl occupation touched a chord of sympathy somewhere ; for [I]0-i too liked reading , though of a frivolous and childish kind ; [I]0-i could not digest or comprehend the serious or substantial . " [You]0-i may look at it , "[982-the girl] replied [the girl]982-the girl , offering [me]0-i the book . [I]0-i did so ; a brief examination convinced [me]0-i that the contents were less taking than the title : " [Rasselas]209-rasselas "[982-the girl] looked dull to [my]0-i trifling taste ; [I]0-i saw nothing about fairies , nothing about genii ; no bright variety seemed spread over the closely - printed pages . [I]0-i returned it to [her]980-a girl ; [she]980-a girl received it quietly , and without saying anything [she]980-a girl was about to relapse into [her]980-a girl former studious mood : again [I]0-i ventured to disturb [her]980-a girl - " Can [you]0-i tell [me]0-i what the writing on that stone over the door means ? What is [Lowood Institution]30-lowood institution ? "[0-i] " [This house where [you]0-i are come to live]4573-this house where you are come to live . "[0-i] " And why do [they]4574-they call it [Institution]4575-institution ? Is it in any way different from [other schools]4576-other schools ? "[0-i] " It is partly [a charity - school]4577-a charity - school : [you]0-i and [I]0-i , and [all the rest of [us]4578-all the rest of us]4578-all the rest of us , are [charity - children]4579-charity - children . [I]0-i suppose [you]0-i are [an orphan]4580-an orphan : are not either [[your]0-i father]4318-your father or [[your]0-i mother]4582-your mother dead ? "[0-i] " [Both]710-both died before [I]0-i can remember . "[0-i] " Well , [all [the girls]890-the girls [here]4312-here]4584-all the girls here have lost either one or [both parents]4587-both parents , and this is called [an institution for educating [orphans]4589-orphans]4588-an institution for educating orphans . "[0-i] " Do [we]4578-all the rest of us pay no money ? Do [they]4590-they keep [us]4578-all the rest of us for nothing ? "[0-i] " [We]4578-all the rest of us pay , or [[our]4578-all the rest of us friends]4591-our friends pay , fifteen pounds a year for each . "[0-i] " Then why do [they]4590-they call [us]4578-all the rest of us [charity - children]4579-charity - children ? "[0-i] " Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching , and the deficiency is supplied by subscription . "[0-i] " Who subscribes ? "[0-i] " [Different benevolent - minded ladies and gentlemen in [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood and in [London]31-london]4593-different benevolent - minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood and in london . "[0-i] " Who was [Naomi Brocklehurst]208-naomi brocklehurst ? "[0-i] " [The lady who built the new part of [this house]4596-this house as that tablet records , and whose [son]4597-son overlooks and directs everything here . "[0-i] " Why ? "[0-i] " Because [he]4597-son is [treasurer and manager of [the establishment]4599-the establishment]4598-treasurer and manager of the establishment]4595-the lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records , and whose son overlooks and directs everything here . " " why ? " " because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment . "[0-i] " Then [this house]4596-this house does not belong to [that tall lady who wears a watch]4601-that tall lady who wears a watch , and who said [we]4578-all the rest of us [were to have some bread and cheese]4602-were to have some bread and cheese ? "[0-i] " To [Miss Temple]201-miss temple ? Oh , no ! [I]0-i wish it did : [she]201-miss temple has to answer to [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst for all [she]201-miss temple does . [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst buys all [our]4578-all the rest of us food and all [our]4578-all the rest of us clothes . "[0-i] " Does [he]196-mr. brocklehurst live [here]4312-here ? "[0-i] " No - two miles off , at [a large hall]4604-a large hall . "[0-i] " Is [he]196-mr. brocklehurst [a good man]4605-a good man ? "[0-i] " [He]196-mr. brocklehurst is [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , and is said to do a great deal of good . "[0-i] " Did [you]0-i say that [tall lady]4607-tall lady was called [Miss Temple]201-miss temple ? "[0-i] " Yes . "[0-i] " And what are [the other teachers]4608-the other teachers called ? "[0-i] " [The one with red cheeks]4609-the one with red cheeks is called [Miss Smith]210-miss smith ; [she]4609-the one with red cheeks attends to the work , and cuts out - for [we]4578-all the rest of us make [our]4578-all the rest of us own clothes , [our]4578-all the rest of us frocks , and pelisses , and everything ; [the little one with black hair]4610-the little one with black hair is [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd ; [she]4610-the little one with black hair teaches history and grammar , and hears the second class repetitions ; and [the one who wears a shawl]4611-the one who wears a shawl , and has a pocket - handkerchief tied to [her]4611-the one who wears a shawl side with a yellow ribband , is [Madame Pierrot]212-madame pierrot : [she]212-madame pierrot comes from [Lisle]32-lisle , in [France]33-france , and teaches French . "[0-i] " Do [you]0-i like [the teachers]4456-the teachers ? "[0-i] " Well enough . "[0-i] " Do [you]0-i like [the little black one]4613-the little black one , and [the Madame]4614-the madame - ? - [I]0-i can not pronounce [her]212-madame pierrot name as [you]0-i do . "[0-i] " [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd is hasty - [you]0-i must take care not to offend [her]211-miss scatcherd ; [Madame Pierrot]212-madame pierrot is not [a bad sort of person]4615-a bad sort of person . "[0-i] " But [Miss Temple]201-miss temple is the best - is n't [she]201-miss temple ? "[0-i] " [Miss Temple]201-miss temple is very good and very clever ; [she]201-miss temple is above the rest , because [she]201-miss temple knows far more than [they]4616-they do . "[0-i] " Have [you]0-i been long [here]4312-here ? "[0-i] " Two years . "[0-i] " Are [you]0-i [an orphan]4580-an orphan ? "[0-i] " [[My]0-i mother]612-my mother is dead . "[0-i] " Are [you]0-i happy [here]4312-here ? "[0-i] " [You]0-i ask rather too many questions . [I]0-i have given [you]0-i answers enough for the present : now [I]0-i want to read . "[0-i] But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner ; all re - entered [the house]4322-the house . The odour which now filled [the refectory]902-the refectory was scarcely more appetising than that which had regaled [our]985-our nostrils at breakfast : the dinner was served in two huge tin - plated vessels , whence rose a strong steam redolent of rancid fat . [I]0-i found the mess to consist of indifferent potatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat , mixed and cooked together . Of this preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to [each pupil]986-each pupil . [I]0-i ate what [I]0-i could , and wondered within [myself]0-i whether every day 's fare would be like this . After dinner , [we]985-our immediately adjourned to [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom : lessons recommenced , and were continued till five o'clock . The only marked event of the afternoon was , that [I]0-i saw [the girl with whom [I]0-i had conversed in [the verandah]969-the verandah dismissed in disgrace by [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd from [a history class]990-a history class , and sent to stand in the middle of [the large schoolroom]991-the large schoolroom]988-the girl with whom i had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by miss scatcherd from a history class , and sent to stand in the middle of the large schoolroom . The punishment seemed to [me]0-i in a high degree ignominious , especially for [so great a girl]992-so great a girl - [she]992-so great a girl looked thirteen or upwards . [I]0-i expected [she]992-so great a girl would show signs of great distress and shame ; but to [my]0-i surprise [she]992-so great a girl neither wept nor blushed : composed , though grave , [she]992-so great a girl stood , the central mark of all eyes . " How can [she]992-so great a girl bear it so quietly - so firmly ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked of [myself]0-i . " Were [I]0-i in [her]992-so great a girl place , it seems to [me]0-i [I]0-i should wish [the earth]663-the earth to open and swallow [me]0-i up . [She]992-so great a girl looks as if [she]992-so great a girl were thinking of something beyond [her]992-so great a girl punishment - beyond [her]992-so great a girl situation : of something not round [her]992-so great a girl nor before [her]992-so great a girl . [I]0-i have heard of day - dreams - is [she]992-so great a girl in a day - dream now ? [Her]992-so great a girl eyes are fixed on the floor , but [I]0-i am sure [they]4622-they do not see it - [her]992-so great a girl sight seems turned in , gone down into [her]992-so great a girl heart : [she]992-so great a girl is looking at what [she]992-so great a girl can remember , [I]0-i believe ; not at what is really present . [I]0-i wonder what sort of [a girl]980-a girl [she]992-so great a girl is - whether good or naughty . "[0-i] Soon after five p.m. [we]993-we had another meal , consisting of a small mug of coffee , and half - a - slice of brown bread . [I]0-i devoured [my]0-i bread and drank [my]0-i coffee with relish ; but [I]0-i should have been glad of as much more - [I]0-i was still hungry . Half - an - hour 's recreation succeeded , then study ; then the glass of water and the piece of oat - cake , prayers , and bed . Such was [my]0-i first day at [Lowood]25-lowood . CHAPTER VI The next day commenced as before , getting up and dressing by rushlight ; but this morning [we]993-we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of washing ; the water in the pitchers was frozen . A change had taken place in the weather the preceding evening , and a keen north - east wind , whistling through the crevices of [our]993-we bedroom windows all night long , had made [us]993-we shiver in [our]993-we beds , and turned the contents of the ewers to ice . Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible - reading was over , [I]0-i felt ready to perish with cold . Breakfast - time came at last , and this morning the porridge was not burnt ; the quality was eatable , the quantity small . How small [my]0-i portion seemed ! [I]0-i wished it had been doubled . In the course of the day [I]0-i was enrolled [a member of the fourth class]994-a member of the fourth class , and regular tasks and occupations were assigned [me]0-i : hitherto , [I]0-i had only been [a spectator of the proceedings]995-a spectator of the proceedings at [Lowood]25-lowood ; [I]0-i was now to become [an actor therein]996-an actor therein . At first , being little accustomed to learn by heart , the lessons appeared to [me]0-i both long and difficult ; the frequent change from task to task , too , bewildered [me]0-i ; and [I]0-i was glad when , about three o'clock in the afternoon , [Miss Smith]210-miss smith put into [my]0-i hands a border of muslin two yards long , together with needle , thimble , c. , and sent [me]0-i to sit in [a quiet corner of [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom]997-a quiet corner of the schoolroom , with directions to hem the same . At that hour [most of [the others]919-the others]999-most of the others were sewing likewise ; but [one class]1001-one class still stood round [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd 's chair reading , and as all was quiet , the subject of [their]1002-their lessons could be heard , together with the manner in which [each girl]913-each girl acquitted [herself]913-each girl , and the animadversions or commendations of [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd on the performance . It was English history : among [the readers]1004-the readers [I]0-i observed [my]0-i acquaintance of [the verandah]969-the verandah : at the commencement of the lesson , [her]211-miss scatcherd place had been at the top of [the class]1006-the class , but for some error of pronunciation , or some inattention to stops , [she]211-miss scatcherd was suddenly sent to the very bottom . Even in that obscure position , [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd continued to make [her]211-miss scatcherd an object of constant notice : [she]211-miss scatcherd was continually addressing to [her]211-miss scatcherd such phrases as the following:- " [Burns]213-helen "[211-miss scatcherd] such it seems was [her]211-miss scatcherd name : [the girls]890-the girls [here]4312-here were all called by [their]890-the girls surnames , as [boys]1009-boys are elsewhere , " [Burns]213-helen , [you]213-helen are standing on the side of [your]213-helen shoe ; turn [your]213-helen toes out immediately . "[211-miss scatcherd] " [Burns]213-helen , [you]213-helen poke [your]213-helen chin most unpleasantly ; draw it in . "[211-miss scatcherd] " [Burns]213-helen , [I]211-miss scatcherd insist on [your]213-helen holding [your]213-helen head up ; [I]211-miss scatcherd will not have [you]213-helen before [me]211-miss scatcherd in that attitude , "[211-miss scatcherd] c. c. A chapter having been read through twice , the books were closed and [the girls]890-the girls examined . The lesson had comprised part of the reign of [Charles I.]214-charles i. , and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship - money , which most of [them]1011-them appeared unable to answer ; still , every little difficulty was solved instantly when it reached [Burns]213-helen : [her]213-helen memory seemed to have retained the substance of the whole lesson , and [she]213-helen was ready with answers on every point . [I]0-i kept expecting that [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd would praise [her]213-helen attention ; but , instead of that , [she]211-miss scatcherd suddenly cried out - " [[You]0-i dirty , [disagreeable girl]4625-disagreeable girl]4624-you dirty , disagreeable girl ! [you]0-i have never cleaned [your]0-i nails this morning ! "[211-miss scatcherd] [Burns]213-helen made no answer : [I]0-i wondered at [her]213-helen silence . " Why , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " does [she]213-helen not explain that [she]213-helen could neither clean [her]213-helen nails nor wash [her]213-helen face , as the water was frozen ? "[0-i] [My]0-i attention was now called off by [Miss Smith]210-miss smith desiring [me]0-i to hold a skein of thread : while [she]210-miss smith was winding it , [she]210-miss smith talked to [me]0-i from time to time , asking whether [I]0-i had ever been at [school]537-school before , whether [I]0-i could mark , stitch , knit , c. ; till [she]210-miss smith dismissed [me]0-i , [I]0-i could not pursue [my]0-i observations on [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd 's movements . When [I]0-i returned to [my]0-i seat , [that lady]1013-that lady was just delivering an order of which [I]0-i did not catch the import ; but [Burns]213-helen immediately left [the class]1006-the class , and going into [the small inner room where the books were kept]1015-the small inner room where the books were kept , returned in half a minute , carrying in [her]1013-that lady hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end . This ominous tool [she]210-miss smith presented to [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd with a respectful curtesy ; then [she]210-miss smith quietly , and without being told , unloosed [her]210-miss smith pinafore , and [the teacher]1016-the teacher instantly and sharply inflicted on [her]210-miss smith neck a dozen strokes with the bunch of twigs . Not a tear rose to [Burns]213-helen ' eye ; and , while [I]0-i paused from [my]0-i sewing , because [my]0-i fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment of unavailing and impotent anger , not a feature of [her]1013-that lady pensive face altered its ordinary expression . " [Hardened girl]4626-hardened girl ! "[211-miss scatcherd] exclaimed [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd ; " nothing can correct [you]4626-hardened girl of [your]4626-hardened girl slatternly habits : carry the rod away . "[211-miss scatcherd] [Burns]213-helen obeyed : [I]0-i looked at [her]1013-that lady narrowly as [she]1013-that lady emerged from [the book - closet]1017-the book - closet ; [she]1013-that lady was just putting back [her]1013-that lady handkerchief into [her]1013-that lady pocket , and the trace of a tear glistened on [her]1013-that lady thin cheek . The play - hour in the evening [I]0-i thought the pleasantest fraction of the day at Lowood : the bit of bread , the draught of coffee swallowed at five o'clock had revived vitality , if it had not satisfied hunger : the long restraint of the day was slackened ; [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom felt warmer than in the morning - [its]888-the schoolroom fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly , to supply , in some measure , the place of candles , not yet introduced : the ruddy gloaming , the licensed uproar , the confusion of many voices gave [one]4415-one a welcome sense of liberty . On the evening of the day on which [I]0-i had seen [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd flog [[her]211-miss scatcherd pupil]1020-her pupil , [Burns]213-helen , [I]0-i wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing groups without [a companion]1021-a companion , yet not feeling lonely : when [I]0-i passed the windows , [I]0-i now and then lifted a blind , and looked out ; it snowed fast , a drift was already forming against the lower panes ; putting [my]0-i ear close to the window , [I]0-i could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within , the disconsolate moan of the wind outside . Probably , if [I]0-i had lately left [a good home]1022-a good home and [kind parents]1023-kind parents , this would have been the hour when [I]0-i should most keenly have regretted the separation ; that wind would then have saddened [my]0-i heart ; this obscure chaos would have disturbed [my]0-i peace ! as it was , [I]0-i derived from both a strange excitement , and reckless and feverish , [I]0-i wished the wind to howl more wildly , the gloom to deepen to darkness , and the confusion to rise to clamour . Jumping over forms , and creeping under tables , [I]0-i made [my]0-i way to [one of the fire - places]1024-one of the fire - places ; there , kneeling by the high wire fender , [I]0-i found [Burns]213-helen , absorbed , silent , abstracted from all round [her]213-helen by the companionship of a book , which [she]213-helen read by the dim glare of the embers . " Is it still ' [Rasselas]209-rasselas ' ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked , coming behind [her]213-helen . " Yes , "[213-helen] [she]213-helen said , " and [I]213-helen have just finished it . "[213-helen] And in five minutes more [she]213-helen shut it up . [I]0-i was glad of this . " Now , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " [I]0-i can perhaps get [her]213-helen to talk . "[0-i] [I]0-i sat down by [her]213-helen on the floor . " What is [your]213-helen name besides [Burns]213-helen ? "[0-i] " [Helen]213-helen . "[0-i] " Do [you]213-helen come a long way from here ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i come from a place farther north , quite on [the borders of [Scotland]35-scotland]4627-the borders of scotland . "[0-i] " Will [you]213-helen ever go back ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i hope so ; but [nobody]4628-nobody can be sure of the future . "[0-i] " [You]213-helen must wish to leave [Lowood]25-lowood ? "[0-i] " No ! why should [I]0-i ? [I]0-i was sent to [Lowood]25-lowood to get an education ; and it would be of no use going away until [I]0-i have attained that object . "[0-i] " But [that teacher]4629-that teacher , [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd , is so cruel to [you]213-helen ? "[0-i] " Cruel ? Not at all ! [She]4629-that teacher is severe : [she]4629-that teacher dislikes [my]0-i faults . "[0-i] " And if [I]0-i were in [your]213-helen place [I]0-i should dislike [her]4629-that teacher ; [I]0-i should resist [her]4629-that teacher . If [she]4629-that teacher struck [me]0-i with that rod , [I]0-i should get it from [her]4629-that teacher hand ; [I]0-i should break it under [her]4629-that teacher nose . "[0-i] " Probably [you]213-helen would do nothing of the sort : but if [you]213-helen did , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst would expel [you]213-helen from [the school]4461-the school ; that would be a great grief to [[your]213-helen relations]4631-your relations . It is far better to endure patiently a smart which [nobody]4628-nobody feels but [yourself]213-helen , than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with [you]213-helen ; and besides , the Bible bids [us]4633-us return good for evil . "[0-i] " But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged , and to be sent to stand in the middle of [a room]4381-a room full of [people]4493-people ; and [you]213-helen are such [a great girl]4636-a great girl : [I]1025-i am far younger than [you]213-helen , and [I]1025-i could not bear it . "[1025-i] " Yet it would be [your]213-helen duty to bear it , if [you]213-helen could not avoid it : it is weak and silly to say [you]213-helen CANNOT BEAR what it is [your]213-helen fate to be required to bear . "[1025-i] [I]0-i heard [her]1025-i with wonder : [I]0-i could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance ; and still less could [I]0-i understand or sympathise with the forbearance [she]1025-i expressed for [her]1025-i chastiser . Still [I]0-i felt that [Helen Burns]213-helen considered things by a light invisible to [my]0-i eyes . [I]0-i suspected [she]213-helen might be right and [I]0-i wrong ; but [I]0-i would not ponder the matter deeply ; like [Felix]216-felix , [I]0-i put it off to a more convenient season . " [You]213-helen say [you]213-helen have faults , [Helen]213-helen : what are they ? To [me]0-i [you]213-helen seem very good . "[0-i] " Then learn from [me]0-i , not to judge by appearances : [I]0-i am , as [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd said , slatternly ; [I]0-i seldom put , and never keep , things , in order ; [I]0-i am careless ; [I]0-i forget rules ; [I]0-i read when [I]0-i should learn [my]0-i lessons ; [I]0-i have no method ; and sometimes [I]0-i say , like [you]213-helen , [I]0-i can not BEAR to be subjected to systematic arrangements . This is all very provoking to [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd , who is naturally neat , punctual , and particular . "[0-i] " And cross and cruel , "[0-i] [I]0-i added ; but [Helen Burns]213-helen would not admit [my]0-i addition : [she]213-helen kept silence . " Is [Miss Temple]201-miss temple as severe to [you]0-i as [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd ? "[213-helen] At the utterance of [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's name , a soft smile flitted over [her]213-helen grave face . " [Miss Temple]201-miss temple is full of goodness ; it pains [her]201-miss temple to be severe to [any one]591-any one , even the worst in [the school]4461-the school : [she]201-miss temple sees [my]0-i errors , and tells [me]0-i of them gently ; and , if [I]0-i do anything worthy of praise , [she]201-miss temple gives [me]0-i [my]0-i meed liberally . One strong proof of [my]0-i wretchedly defective nature is , that even [her]201-miss temple expostulations , so mild , so rational , have not influence to cure [me]0-i of [my]0-i faults ; and even [her]201-miss temple praise , though [I]0-i value it most highly , can not stimulate [me]0-i to continued care and foresight . "[0-i] " That is curious , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , " it is so easy to be careful . "[0-i] " For [YOU]0-i [I]0-i have no doubt it is . [I]0-i observed [you]0-i in [your]0-i class this morning , and saw [you]0-i were closely attentive : [your]0-i thoughts never seemed to wander while [Miss Miller]207-miss miller explained the lesson and questioned [you]0-i . Now , [mine]0-i continually rove away ; when [I]0-i should be listening to [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd , and collecting all [she]211-miss scatcherd says with assiduity , often [I]0-i lose the very sound of [her]211-miss scatcherd voice ; [I]0-i fall into a sort of dream . Sometimes [I]0-i think [I]0-i am in [Northumberland]36-northumberland , and that the noises [I]0-i hear round [me]0-i are the bubbling of [a little brook which runs through [Deepden]37-deepden]4639-a little brook which runs through deepden , near [[our]4640-our house]4641-our house ; - then , when it comes to [my]0-i turn to reply , [I]0-i have to be awakened ; and having heard nothing of what was read for listening to [the visionary brook]4642-the visionary brook , [I]0-i have no answer ready . "[0-i] " Yet how well [you]0-i replied this afternoon . "[213-helen] " It was mere chance ; the subject on which [we]4640-our had been reading had interested [me]213-helen . This afternoon , instead of dreaming of [Deepden]37-deepden , [I]213-helen was wondering how [a man who wished to do right]4643-a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and unwisely as [Charles the First]218-charles the first sometimes did ; and [I]213-helen thought what a pity it was that , with [his]4643-a man who wished to do right integrity and conscientiousness , [he]4643-a man who wished to do right could see no farther than the prerogatives of [the crown]4644-the crown . If [he]4643-a man who wished to do right had but been able to look to a distance , and see how what [they]4645-they [call the spirit of the age]4646-call the spirit of the age was tending ! Still , [I]213-helen like [Charles]218-charles the first - [I]213-helen respect [him]218-charles the first - [I]213-helen pity [him]218-charles the first , [poor murdered king]4647-poor murdered king ! Yes , [[his]4643-a man who wished to do right enemies]4648-his enemies were the worst : [they]4648-his enemies shed blood [they]4648-his enemies had no right to shed . How dared [they]4648-his enemies kill [him]4643-a man who wished to do right ! "[213-helen] [Helen]213-helen was talking to [herself]213-helen now : [she]213-helen had forgotten [I]0-i could not very well understand [her]213-helen - that [I]0-i was ignorant , or nearly so , of the subject [she]213-helen discussed . [I]0-i recalled [her]213-helen to [my]0-i level . " And when [Miss Temple]201-miss temple teaches [you]213-helen , do [your]213-helen thoughts wander then ? "[0-i] " No , certainly , not often ; because [Miss Temple]201-miss temple has generally something to say which is newer than [my]213-helen own reflections ; [her]201-miss temple language is singularly agreeable to [me]213-helen , and the information [she]201-miss temple communicates is often just what [I]213-helen wished to gain . "[213-helen] " Well , then , with [Miss Temple]201-miss temple [you]213-helen are good ? "[213-helen] " Yes , in a passive way : [I]0-i make no effort ; [I]0-i follow as inclination guides [me]0-i . There is no merit in such goodness . "[0-i] " A great deal : [you]213-helen are good to [those who are good to [you]213-helen]4649-those who are good to you . It is all [I]213-helen ever desire to be . If [people]4493-people were always kind and obedient to [those who are cruel and unjust]4651-those who are cruel and unjust , [the wicked people]4652-the wicked people would have it all [their]4652-the wicked people own way : [they]4652-the wicked people would never feel afraid , and so [they]4652-the wicked people would never alter , but would grow worse and worse . When [we]4653-we are struck at without a reason , [we]4653-we should strike back again very hard ; [I]213-helen am sure [we]4653-we should - so hard as to teach [the person who struck [us]4653-we never to do it again]4654-the person who struck us never to do it again . "[213-helen] " [You]213-helen will change [your]213-helen mind , [I]213-helen hope , when [you]213-helen grow older : as yet [you]213-helen are but [a little untaught girl]4655-a little untaught girl . "[213-helen] " But [I]0-i feel this , [Helen]213-helen ; [I]0-i must dislike those who , whatever [I]0-i do to please [them]4652-the wicked people , persist in disliking [me]0-i ; [I]0-i must resist those who punish [me]0-i unjustly . It is as natural as that [I]0-i should love [those who show [me]0-i affection , or submit to punishment when [I]0-i feel it is deserved]4656-those who show me affection , or submit to punishment when i feel it is deserved . "[0-i] " [Heathens]4657-heathens and [savage tribes]4658-savage tribes hold that doctrine , but [Christians and civilised nations]4659-christians and civilised nations disown it . "[213-helen] " How ? [I]213-helen do n't understand . "[213-helen] " It is not violence that best overcomes hate - nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury . "[0-i] " What then ? "[213-helen] " Read the New Testament , and observe what [Christ]148-christ says , and how [He]148-christ acts ; make [His]148-christ word [your]213-helen rule , and [His]148-christ conduct [your]213-helen example . "[213-helen] " What does [He]148-christ say ? "[0-i] " Love [[your]213-helen enemies]4660-your enemies ; bless [them]4660-your enemies that curse [you]213-helen ; do good to [them]4660-your enemies that hate [you]213-helen and despitefully use [you]213-helen . "[213-helen] " Then [I]1026-i should love [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , which [I]1026-i can not do ; [I]1026-i should bless [[her]156-mrs. reed son]4661-her son [John]177-st. john , which is impossible . "[1026-i] In [her]1026-i turn , [Helen Burns]213-helen asked [me]0-i to explain , and [I]0-i proceeded forthwith to pour out , in [my]0-i own way , the tale of [my]0-i sufferings and resentments . Bitter and truculent when excited , [I]0-i spoke as [I]0-i felt , without reserve or softening . [Helen]213-helen heard [me]0-i patiently to the end : [I]0-i expected [she]213-helen would then make a remark , but [she]213-helen said nothing . " Well , "[213-helen] [I]0-i asked impatiently , " is not [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed [a hard - hearted , bad woman]4662-a hard - hearted , bad woman ? "[0-i] " [She]156-mrs. reed has been unkind to [you]0-i , no doubt ; because [you]0-i see , [she]156-mrs. reed dislikes [your]0-i cast of character , as [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd does [mine]0-i ; but how minutely [you]0-i remember all [she]156-mrs. reed has done and said to [you]0-i ! What a singularly deep impression [her]156-mrs. reed injustice seems to have made on [your]0-i heart ! No ill - usage so brands its record on [my]213-helen feelings . Would [you]0-i not be happier if [you]0-i tried to forget [her]156-mrs. reed severity , together with the passionate emotions it excited ? Life appears to [me]213-helen too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs . [We]4663-we are , and must be , one and all , burdened with faults in [this world]4664-this world : but the time will soon come when , [I]213-helen trust , [we]4663-we shall put [them]4665-them off in putting off [our]4663-we corruptible bodies ; when debasement and sin will fall from [us]4663-we with this cumbrous frame of flesh , and only the spark of the spirit will remain , - the impalpable principle of light and thought , pure as when it left [the Creator]219-the creator to inspire the creature : whence it came it will return ; perhaps again to be communicated to [some being higher than man]4666-some being higher than man - perhaps to pass through gradations of glory , from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph ! Surely it will never , on the contrary , be suffered to degenerate from [man]4667-man to fiend ? No ; [I]213-helen can not believe that : [I]213-helen hold another creed : which [no one]593-no one ever taught [me]213-helen , and which [I]213-helen seldom mention ; but in which [I]213-helen delight , and to which [I]213-helen cling : for it extends hope to all : it makes Eternity a rest - [a mighty home]4669-a mighty home , not a terror and an abyss . Besides , with this creed , [I]213-helen can so clearly distinguish between [the criminal]4670-the criminal and [his]4670-the criminal crime ; [I]213-helen can so sincerely forgive the first while [I]213-helen abhor the last : with this creed revenge never worries [my]213-helen heart , degradation never too deeply disgusts [me]213-helen , injustice never crushes [me]213-helen too low : [I]213-helen live in calm , looking to the end . "[213-helen] [Helen]213-helen 's head , always drooping , sank a little lower as [she]213-helen finished this sentence . [I]0-i saw by [her]213-helen look [she]213-helen wished no longer to talk to [me]0-i , but rather to converse with [her]213-helen own thoughts . [She]213-helen was not allowed much time for meditation : a monitor , [a great rough girl]1027-a great rough girl , presently came up , exclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent - " [Helen Burns]213-helen , if [you]213-helen do n't go and put [your]213-helen drawer in order , and fold up [your]213-helen work this minute , [I]1027-a great rough girl 'll tell [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd to come and look at it ! "[1027-a great rough girl] [Helen]213-helen sighed as [her]213-helen reverie fled , and getting up , obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay . CHAPTER VII [My]0-i first quarter at Lowood seemed an age ; and not the golden age either ; it comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating [myself]0-i to new rules and unwonted tasks . The fear of failure in these points harassed [me]0-i worse than the physical hardships of [my]0-i lot ; though these were no trifles . During January , February , and part of March , the deep snows , and , after their melting , the almost impassable roads , prevented [our]1028-we stirring beyond the garden walls , except to go to [church]949-church ; but within these limits [we]1028-we had to pass an hour every day in the open air . [Our]1028-we clothing was insufficient to protect [us]1028-we from the severe cold : [we]1028-we had no boots , the snow got into [our]1028-we shoes and melted there : [our]1028-we ungloved hands became numbed and covered with chilblains , as were [our]1028-we feet : [I]0-i remember well the distracting irritation [I]0-i endured from this cause every evening , when [my]0-i feet inflamed ; and the torture of thrusting the swelled , raw , and stiff toes into [my]0-i shoes in the morning . Then the scanty supply of food was distressing : with the keen appetites of [growing children]1030-growing children , [we]1028-we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive [a delicate invalid]1031-a delicate invalid . From this deficiency of nourishment resulted an abuse , which pressed hardly on [the younger pupils]1032-the younger pupils : whenever [the famished great girls]1033-the famished great girls had an opportunity , [they]1033-the famished great girls would coax or menace [the little ones]1034-the little ones out of [their]1033-the famished great girls portion . Many a time [I]0-i have shared between [two claimants]1035-two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread distributed at tea - time ; and after relinquishing to a third half the contents of [my]0-i mug of coffee , [I]0-i have swallowed the remainder with an accompaniment of secret tears , forced from [me]0-i by the exigency of hunger . Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season . [We]1028-we had to walk two miles to [Brocklebridge Church]38-brocklebridge church , where [[our]1028-we patron]1036-our patron officiated . [We]1028-we set out cold , [we]1028-we arrived at [church]949-church colder : during the morning service [we]1028-we became almost paralysed . It was too far to return to dinner , and an allowance of cold meat and bread , in the same penurious proportion observed in [our]1028-we ordinary meals , was served round between the services . At the close of the afternoon service [we]1028-we returned by [an exposed and hilly road]1038-an exposed and hilly road , where the bitter winter wind , blowing over a range of [snowy summits to the north]1039-snowy summits to the north , almost flayed the skin from [our]1028-we faces . [I]0-i can remember [Miss Temple]201-miss temple walking lightly and rapidly along [our]1028-we drooping line , [her]201-miss temple plaid cloak , which the frosty wind fluttered , gathered close about [her]201-miss temple , and encouraging [us]1028-we , by precept and example , to keep up [our]1028-we spirits , and march forward , as [she]201-miss temple said , " like [stalwart soldiers]4671-stalwart soldiers . "[201-miss temple] [The other teachers]4608-the other teachers , poor things , were generally [themselves]4608-the other teachers too much dejected to attempt the task of cheering [others]1041-others . How [we]1028-we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when [we]1028-we got back ! But , to [the little ones]1034-the little ones at least , this was denied : each hearth in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of [great girls]1044-great girls , and behind [them]1045-them [the younger children]1046-the younger children crouched in groups , wrapping [their]1046-the younger children starved arms in [their]1046-the younger children pinafores . A little solace came at tea - time , in the shape of a double ration of bread - a whole , instead of a half , slice - with the delicious addition of a thin scrape of butter : it was the hebdomadal treat to which [we]1028-we all looked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath . [I]0-i generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this bounteous repast for [myself]0-i ; but the remainder [I]0-i was invariably obliged to part with . The Sunday evening was spent in repeating , by heart , the Church Catechism , and the fifth , sixth , and seventh chapters of [St. Matthew]220-st. matthew ; and in listening to a long sermon , read by [Miss Miller]207-miss miller , whose irrepressible yawns attested [her]207-miss miller weariness . A frequent interlude of these performances was the enactment of the part of [Eutychus]221-eutychus by [some half - dozen of [little girls , who , overpowered with sleep]1048-little girls , who , overpowered with sleep , would fall down , if not out of the third loft]1047-some half - dozen of little girls , who , overpowered with sleep , would fall down , if not out of the third loft , yet off the fourth form , and be taken up half dead . The remedy was , to thrust [them]1034-the little ones forward into [the centre of [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom]1049-the centre of the schoolroom , and oblige [them]1034-the little ones to stand there till the sermon was finished . Sometimes [their]1034-the little ones feet failed [them]1034-the little ones , and [they]1034-the little ones sank together in a heap ; [they]1034-the little ones were then propped up with [the monitors]1051-the monitors ' high stools . [I]0-i have not yet alluded to the visits of [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; and indeed [that gentleman]1052-that gentleman was from [home]509-home during the greater part of the first month after [my]0-i arrival ; perhaps prolonging [his]1052-that gentleman stay with [[his]1052-that gentleman friend]1054-his friend [the archdeacon]4478-the archdeacon : [his]1052-that gentleman absence was a relief to [me]0-i . [I]0-i need not say that [I]0-i had [my]0-i own reasons for dreading [his]1052-that gentleman coming : but come [he]1052-that gentleman did at last . One afternoon [I]0-i had then been three weeks at [Lowood]25-lowood , as [I]0-i was sitting with a slate in [my]0-i hand , puzzling over a sum in long division , [my]0-i eyes , raised in abstraction to the window , caught sight of [a figure just passing]1056-a figure just passing : [I]0-i recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline ; and when , two minutes after , [all the school]1057-all the school , [teachers]4452-teachers included , rose en masse , it was not necessary for [me]0-i to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance [they]4452-teachers thus greeted . A long stride measured [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom , and presently beside [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , who [herself]201-miss temple had risen , stood the same black column which had frowned on [me]0-i so ominously from [the hearthrug of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]1060-the hearthrug of gateshead . [I]0-i now glanced sideways at [this piece of architecture]1061-this piece of architecture . Yes , [I]0-i was right : it was [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , buttoned up in a surtout , and looking longer , narrower , and more rigid than ever . [I]0-i had [my]0-i own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition ; too well [I]0-i remembered the perfidious hints given by [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed about [my]0-i disposition , c. ; the promise pledged by [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst to apprise [Miss Temple]201-miss temple and [the teachers]4456-the teachers of [my]0-i vicious nature . All along [I]0-i had been dreading the fulfilment of this promise , - [I]0-i had been looking out daily for [the " Coming Man]222-the " coming man , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] whose information respecting [my]0-i past life and conversation was to brand [me]0-i as [a bad child for ever]1063-a bad child for ever : now there [he]196-mr. brocklehurst was . [He]196-mr. brocklehurst stood at [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's side ; [he]196-mr. brocklehurst was speaking low in [her]201-miss temple ear : [I]0-i did not doubt [he]196-mr. brocklehurst was making disclosures of [my]0-i villainy ; and [I]0-i watched [her]201-miss temple eye with painful anxiety , expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on [me]0-i a glance of repugnance and contempt . [I]0-i listened too ; and as [I]0-i happened to be seated quite at the top of [the room]535-the room , [I]0-i caught most of what [he]196-mr. brocklehurst said : its import relieved [me]0-i from immediate apprehension . " [I]1065-i suppose , [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , the thread [I]1065-i bought at [Lowton]39-lowton will do ; it struck [me]1065-i that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises , and [I]1065-i sorted the needles to match . [You]0-i may tell [Miss Smith]210-miss smith that [I]1065-i forgot to make a memorandum of the darning needles , but [she]210-miss smith shall have some papers sent in next week ; and [she]210-miss smith is not , on any account , to give out more than one at a time to [each pupil]986-each pupil : if [they]986-each pupil have more , [they]986-each pupil are apt to be careless and lose [them]986-each pupil . And , O ma'am ! [I]1065-i wish the woollen stockings were better looked to ! - when [I]1065-i was [here]4312-here last , [I]1065-i went into [the kitchen - garden]4674-the kitchen - garden and examined the clothes drying on the line ; there was a quantity of black hose in a very bad state of repair : from the size of the holes in them [I]1065-i was sure they had not been well mended from time to time . "[1065-i] [He]1065-i paused . " [Your]1065-i directions shall be attended to , [sir]4374-sir , "[201-miss temple] said [Miss Temple]201-miss temple . " And , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , "[1065-i] [he]1065-i continued , " [the laundress]4677-the laundress tells [me]1065-i [some of [the girls]890-the girls]4678-some of the girls have two clean tuckers in the week : it is too much ; the rules limit [them]4678-some of the girls to one . "[1065-i] " [I]196-mr. brocklehurst think [I]196-mr. brocklehurst can explain that circumstance , [sir]4374-sir . [Agnes]223-agnes and [Catherine Johnstone]224-catherine johnstone were invited to take tea with [some friends at [Lowton]39-lowton]4681-some friends at lowton last Thursday , and [I]196-mr. brocklehurst gave [them]4678-some of the girls leave to put on clean tuckers for the occasion . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst nodded . " Well , for once it may pass ; but please not to let the circumstance occur too often . And there is another thing which surprised [me]196-mr. brocklehurst ; [I]196-mr. brocklehurst find , in settling accounts with [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper , that a lunch , consisting of bread and cheese , has twice been served out to [the girls]890-the girls during the past fortnight . How is this ? [I]196-mr. brocklehurst looked over the regulations , and [I]196-mr. brocklehurst find no such meal as lunch mentioned . Who introduced this innovation ? and by what authority ? "[196-mr. brocklehurst] " [I]201-miss temple must be responsible for the circumstance , [sir]4374-sir , "[201-miss temple] replied [Miss Temple]201-miss temple : " the breakfast was so ill prepared that [the pupils]4566-the pupils could not possibly eat it ; and [I]201-miss temple dared not allow [them]4566-the pupils to remain fasting till dinner - time . "[201-miss temple] " [Madam]4457-madam , allow [me]196-mr. brocklehurst an instant . [You]4457-madam are aware that [my]196-mr. brocklehurst plan in bringing up [these girls]4687-these girls is , not to accustom [them]4687-these girls to habits of luxury and indulgence , but to render [them]4687-these girls hardy , patient , self - denying . Should any little accidental disappointment of the appetite occur , such as the spoiling of a meal , the under or the over dressing of a dish , the incident ought not to be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort lost , thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution ; it ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of [the pupils]4566-the pupils , by encouraging [them]4566-the pupils to evince fortitude under temporary privation . A brief address on those occasions would not be mistimed , wherein [a judicious instructor]4689-a judicious instructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of [the primitive Christians]4690-the primitive christians ; to the torments of [martyrs]4691-martyrs ; to the exhortations of [[our]4692-our blessed Lord [Himself]4693-our blessed lord himself]4693-our blessed lord himself , calling upon [[His]4693-our blessed lord himself disciples]4694-his disciples to take up [their]4694-his disciples cross and follow [Him]4693-our blessed lord himself ; to [His]4693-our blessed lord himself warnings that [man]4667-man shall not live by bread alone , but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of [God]180-mrs. fairfax ; to [His]4693-our blessed lord himself divine consolations , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] If [ye]1066-ye suffer hunger or thirst for [My]0-i sake , happy are [ye]1066-ye . " Oh , [madam]4457-madam , when [you]4457-madam put bread and cheese , instead of burnt porridge , into [these children]4697-these children 's mouths , [you]4457-madam may indeed feed [their]4697-these children vile bodies , but [you]4457-madam little think how [you]4457-madam starve [their]4697-these children immortal souls ! "[196-mr. brocklehurst] [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst again paused - perhaps overcome by [his]196-mr. brocklehurst feelings . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple had looked down when [he]196-mr. brocklehurst first began to speak to [her]201-miss temple ; but [she]201-miss temple now gazed straight before [her]201-miss temple , and [her]201-miss temple face , naturally pale as marble , appeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material ; especially [her]201-miss temple mouth , closed as if it would have required [a sculptor]1067-a sculptor 's chisel to open it , and [her]201-miss temple brow settled gradually into petrified severity . Meantime , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , standing on the hearth with [his]196-mr. brocklehurst hands behind [his]196-mr. brocklehurst back , majestically surveyed [the whole school]940-the whole school . Suddenly [his]196-mr. brocklehurst eye gave a blink , as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked [its pupil]1069-its pupil ; turning , [he]196-mr. brocklehurst said in more rapid accents than [he]196-mr. brocklehurst had hitherto used - " [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , what - WHAT is [that girl with curled hair ? Red hair]4698-that girl with curled hair ? red hair , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , curled - curled all over ? "[196-mr. brocklehurst] And extending [his]196-mr. brocklehurst cane [he]196-mr. brocklehurst pointed to the awful object , [his]196-mr. brocklehurst hand shaking as [he]196-mr. brocklehurst did so . " It is [Julia Severn]225-julia severn , "[201-miss temple] replied [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , very quietly . " [Julia Severn]225-julia severn , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ! And why has [she]225-julia severn , or any other , curled hair ? Why , in defiance of every precept and principle of [this house]4596-this house , does [she]225-julia severn conform to [the world]484-the world so openly - here in an evangelical , charitable establishment - as to wear [her]225-julia severn hair one mass of curls ? "[201-miss temple] " [Julia]225-julia severn 's hair curls naturally , "[201-miss temple] returned [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , still more quietly . " Naturally ! Yes , but [we]4703-we are not to conform to nature ; [I]201-miss temple wish [these girls]4687-these girls to be [the children of Grace]4705-the children of grace : and why that abundance ? [I]201-miss temple have again and again intimated that [I]201-miss temple desire the hair to be arranged closely , modestly , plainly . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , [that girl]4706-that girl 's hair must be cut off entirely ; [I]201-miss temple will send [a barber]4707-a barber to - morrow : and [I]201-miss temple see others who have far too much of the excrescence - [that tall girl]4708-that tall girl , tell [her]4708-that tall girl to turn round . Tell all the first form to rise up and direct [their]4565-the first class faces to the wall . "[201-miss temple] [Miss Temple]201-miss temple passed [her]201-miss temple handkerchief over [her]201-miss temple lips , as if to smooth away the involuntary smile that curled them ; [she]201-miss temple gave the order , however , and when [the first class]4565-the first class could take in what was required of [them]4565-the first class , [they]4565-the first class obeyed . Leaning a little back on [my]0-i bench , [I]0-i could see the looks and grimaces with which [they]4565-the first class commented on this manoeuvre : it was a pity [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst could not see [them]4565-the first class too ; [he]196-mr. brocklehurst would perhaps have felt that , whatever [he]196-mr. brocklehurst might do with the outside of the cup and platter , the inside was further beyond [his]196-mr. brocklehurst interference than [he]196-mr. brocklehurst imagined . [He]196-mr. brocklehurst scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes , then pronounced sentence . These words fell like the knell of doom - " All those top - knots must be cut off . "[201-miss temple] [Miss Temple]201-miss temple seemed to remonstrate . " [Madam]4457-madam , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] [he]196-mr. brocklehurst pursued , " [I]196-mr. brocklehurst have [a Master]4710-a master to serve whose kingdom is not of [this world]4664-this world : [my]196-mr. brocklehurst mission is to mortify in [these girls]4687-these girls the lusts of the flesh ; to teach [them]4687-these girls to clothe [themselves]4687-these girls with shame - facedness and sobriety , not with braided hair and costly apparel ; and [each of [the young persons]4714-the young persons before [us]4715-us]4713-each of the young persons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity itself might have woven ; these , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst repeat , must be cut off ; think of the time wasted , of - "[196-mr. brocklehurst] [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst was here interrupted : [three other visitors]1071-three other visitors , [ladies]745-ladies , now entered [the room]535-the room . [They]1071-three other visitors ought to have come a little sooner to have heard [his]196-mr. brocklehurst lecture on dress , for [they]1071-three other visitors were splendidly attired in velvet , silk , and furs . [The two younger of the trio fine girls of sixteen and seventeen]1074-the two younger of the trio fine girls of sixteen and seventeen had grey beaver hats , then in fashion , shaded with ostrich plumes , and from under the brim of this graceful head - dress fell a profusion of light tresses , elaborately curled ; [the elder lady]1075-the elder lady was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl , trimmed with ermine , and [she]1075-the elder lady wore a false front of French curls . [These ladies]1076-these ladies were deferentially received by [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , as [Mrs.]1077-mrs. and [the Misses Brocklehurst]226-the misses brocklehurst , and conducted to seats of honour at [the top of [the room]535-the room]1078-the top of the room . It seems [they]1076-these ladies had come in [the carriage]654-the carriage with [[their]1076-these ladies reverend relative]1081-their reverend relative , and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of [the room]535-the room [upstairs]552-upstairs , while [he]1081-their reverend relative transacted business with [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper , questioned [the laundress]4677-the laundress , and lectured [the superintendent]4451-the superintendent . [They]1076-these ladies now proceeded to address divers remarks and reproofs to [Miss Smith]210-miss smith , who was charged with the care of the linen and the inspection of [the dormitories]1087-the dormitories : but [I]0-i had no time to listen to what [they]1076-these ladies said ; other matters called off and enchanted [my]0-i attention . Hitherto , while gathering up the discourse of [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst and [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , [I]0-i had not , at the same time , neglected precautions to secure [my]0-i personal safety ; which [I]0-i thought would be effected , if [I]0-i could only elude observation . To this end , [I]0-i had sat well back on the form , and while seeming to be busy with [my]0-i sum , had held [my]0-i slate in such a manner as to conceal [my]0-i face : [I]0-i might have escaped notice , had not [my]0-i treacherous slate somehow happened to slip from [my]0-i hand , and falling with an obtrusive crash , directly drawn every eye upon [me]0-i ; [I]0-i knew it was all over now , and , as [I]0-i stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate , [I]0-i rallied [my]0-i forces for the worst . It came . " [A careless girl]4716-a careless girl ! "[196-mr. brocklehurst] said [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , and immediately after - " [It]4716-a careless girl is [the new pupil]4717-the new pupil , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst perceive . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] And before [I]0-i could draw breath , " [I]196-mr. brocklehurst must not forget [I]196-mr. brocklehurst have a word to say respecting [her]4716-a careless girl . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] Then aloud : how loud it seemed to [me]0-i ! " Let [the child]4339-the child who broke [her]4716-a careless girl slate come forward ! "[196-mr. brocklehurst] Of [my]0-i own accord [I]0-i could not have stirred ; [I]0-i was paralysed : but [the two great girls who sit on each side of [me]0-i]1088-the two great girls who sit on each side of me , set [me]0-i on [my]0-i legs and pushed [me]0-i towards [the dread judge]1089-the dread judge , and then [Miss Temple]201-miss temple gently assisted [me]0-i to [his]1089-the dread judge very feet , and [I]0-i caught [her]201-miss temple whispered counsel - " Do n't be afraid , [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i saw it was an accident ; [you]146-jane shall not be punished . "[0-i] The kind whisper went to [my]0-i heart like a dagger . " Another minute , and [she]201-miss temple will despise [me]0-i for [a hypocrite]4719-a hypocrite , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i ; and an impulse of fury against [Reed]156-mrs. reed , [Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , and [Co.]227-co. bounded in [my]0-i pulses at the conviction . [I]0-i was no [Helen Burns]213-helen . " Fetch that stool , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] said [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , pointing to a very high one from which a monitor had just risen : it was brought . " Place [the child]4339-the child upon it . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] And [I]0-i was placed [there]4426-there , by whom [I]0-i do n't know : [I]0-i was in no condition to note particulars ; [I]0-i was only aware that [they]1091-they had hoisted [me]0-i up to the height of [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst 's nose , that [he]196-mr. brocklehurst was within a yard of [me]0-i , and that a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of silvery plumage extended and waved below [me]0-i . [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst hemmed . " [Ladies]745-ladies , "[196-mr. brocklehurst] said [he]196-mr. brocklehurst , turning to [[his]196-mr. brocklehurst family]1092-his family , " [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , [teachers]4452-teachers , and [children]524-children , [you]745-ladies all see [this girl]4724-this girl ? "[196-mr. brocklehurst] Of course [they]1092-his family did ; for [I]0-i felt [their]1092-his family eyes directed like burning - glasses against [my]0-i scorched skin . " [You]745-ladies see [she]4724-this girl is yet young ; [you]745-ladies observe [she]4724-this girl possesses the ordinary form of childhood ; [God]180-mrs. fairfax has graciously given [her]4724-this girl the shape that [He]196-mr. brocklehurst has given to [all of [us]4725-all of us]4725-all of us ; no signal deformity points [her]4724-this girl out as a marked character . Who would think that [the Evil One]4726-the evil one had already found [a servant]4337-a servant and [agent]4728-agent in [her]4724-this girl ? Yet such , [I]1092-his family grieve to say , is the case . "[1092-his family] A pause - in which [I]0-i began to steady the palsy of [my]0-i nerves , and to feel that the Rubicon was passed ; and that the trial , no longer to be shirked , must be firmly sustained . " [[My]1093-the black marble clergyman dear children]4729-my dear children , "[1093-the black marble clergyman] pursued [the black marble clergyman]1093-the black marble clergyman , with pathos , " this is a sad , a melancholy occasion ; for it becomes [my]1093-the black marble clergyman duty to warn [you]4729-my dear children , that [this girl]4724-this girl , who might be [one of [[God]180-mrs. fairfax 's own lambs]4732-god 's own lambs]4731-one of god 's own lambs , is [a little castaway]4733-a little castaway : not [a member of [the true flock]4735-the true flock]4734-a member of the true flock , but evidently [an interloper]4736-an interloper and [an alien]4737-an alien . [You]4729-my dear children must be on [your]4729-my dear children guard against [her]4724-this girl ; [you]4729-my dear children must shun [her]4724-this girl example ; if necessary , avoid [her]4724-this girl company , exclude [her]4724-this girl from [your]4729-my dear children sports , and shut [her]4724-this girl out from [your]4729-my dear children converse . [Teachers]4452-teachers , [you]4729-my dear children must watch [her]4724-this girl : keep [your]4729-my dear children eyes on [her]4724-this girl movements , weigh well [her]4724-this girl words , scrutinise [her]4724-this girl actions , punish [her]4724-this girl body to save [her]4724-this girl soul : if , indeed , such salvation be possible , for [my]1093-the black marble clergyman tongue falters while [I]1093-the black marble clergyman tell it [this girl]4724-this girl , [this child]4473-this child , [the native of [a Christian land]4742-a christian land]4741-the native of a christian land , worse than [many a little heathen who says its prayers to [Brahma]228-brahma and kneels before [Juggernaut]4744-juggernaut]4743-many a little heathen who says its prayers to brahma and kneels before juggernaut - [this girl]4724-this girl is - [a liar]4746-a liar ! "[1093-the black marble clergyman] Now came a pause of ten minutes , during which [I]0-i , by this time in perfect possession of [my]0-i wits , observed [all the female Brocklehursts]1094-all the female brocklehursts produce [their]1094-all the female brocklehursts pocket - handkerchiefs and apply them to [their]1094-all the female brocklehursts optics , while [the elderly lady]1095-the elderly lady swayed [herself]1095-the elderly lady to and fro , and [the two younger ones]1096-the two younger ones whispered , " How shocking ! "[1095-the elderly lady] [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst resumed . " This [I]196-mr. brocklehurst learned from [[her]4724-this girl benefactress]4747-her benefactress ; from [the pious and charitable lady who adopted [her]4724-this girl in [her]4724-this girl orphan state]4748-the pious and charitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state , reared [her]4724-this girl as [[her]4724-this girl own daughter]4749-her own daughter , and whose kindness , whose generosity [the unhappy girl]4750-the unhappy girl repaid by an ingratitude so bad , so dreadful , that at last [[her]4724-this girl excellent patroness]4751-her excellent patroness was obliged to separate [her]4724-this girl from [[her]4724-this girl own young ones]4752-her own young ones , fearful lest [her]4724-this girl vicious example should contaminate [their]1096-the two younger ones purity : [she]4724-this girl has sent [her]4724-this girl here to be healed , even as [the Jews of old]4753-the jews of old sent [their]4753-the jews of old diseased to [the troubled pool of [Bethesda]40-bethesda]4754-the troubled pool of bethesda ; and , [teachers]4452-teachers , [superintendent]4756-superintendent , [I]196-mr. brocklehurst beg of [you]4756-superintendent not to allow the waters to stagnate round [her]4724-this girl . "[196-mr. brocklehurst] With this sublime conclusion , [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst adjusted the top button of [his]196-mr. brocklehurst surtout , muttered something to [[his]196-mr. brocklehurst family]1092-his family , who rose , bowed to [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , and then [all the great people]1098-all the great people sailed in state from [the room]535-the room . Turning at the door , [[my]0-i judge]1100-my judge said - " Let [her]4724-this girl stand half - an - hour longer on that stool , and let [no one]593-no one speak to [her]4724-this girl during the remainder of the day . "[1100-my judge] There was [I]0-i , then , mounted aloft ; [I]0-i , who had said [I]0-i could not bear the shame of standing on [my]0-i natural feet in the middle of [the room]535-the room , was now exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy . What [my]0-i sensations were no language can describe ; but just as [they]1102-they all rose , stifling [my]0-i breath and constricting [my]0-i throat , [a girl]980-a girl came up and passed [me]0-i : in passing , [she]980-a girl lifted [her]980-a girl eyes . What a strange light inspired them ! What an extraordinary sensation that ray sent through [me]0-i ! How the new feeling bore [me]0-i up ! It was as if [a martyr]1104-a martyr , [a hero]1105-a hero , had passed [a slave]1106-a slave or [victim , and imparted strength in the transit]1107-victim , and imparted strength in the transit . [I]0-i mastered the rising hysteria , lifted up [my]0-i head , and took a firm stand on the stool . [Helen Burns]213-helen asked some slight question about [her]213-helen work of [Miss Smith]210-miss smith , was chidden for the triviality of the inquiry , returned to [her]213-helen place , and smiled at [me]0-i as [she]213-helen again went by . What a smile ! [I]0-i remember it now , and [I]0-i know that it was the effluence of fine intellect , of true courage ; it lit up [her]213-helen marked lineaments , [her]213-helen thin face , [her]213-helen sunken grey eye , like a reflection from the aspect of [an angel]1108-an angel . Yet at that moment [Helen Burns]213-helen wore on [her]213-helen arm " the untidy badge ; "[213-helen] scarcely an hour ago [I]0-i had heard [her]213-helen condemned by [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because [she]213-helen had blotted an exercise in copying it out . Such is the imperfect nature of [man]4667-man ! such spots are there on the disc of [the clearest planet]1110-the clearest planet ; and eyes like [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd 's can only see those minute defects , and are blind to the full brightness of the orb . CHAPTER VIII Ere the half - hour ended , five o'clock struck ; [school]537-school was dismissed , and all were gone into [the refectory]902-the refectory to tea . [I]0-i now ventured to descend : it was deep dusk ; [I]0-i retired into a corner and sat down on the floor . The spell by which [I]0-i had been so far supported began to dissolve ; reaction took place , and soon , so overwhelming was the grief that seized [me]0-i , [I]0-i sank prostrate with [my]0-i face to the ground . Now [I]0-i wept : [Helen Burns]213-helen was not [here]4312-here ; nothing sustained [me]0-i ; left to [myself]0-i [I]0-i abandoned [myself]0-i , and [my]0-i tears watered the boards . [I]0-i had meant to be so good , and to do so much at [Lowood]25-lowood : to make so many [friends]1114-friends , to earn respect and win affection . Already [I]0-i had made visible progress : that very morning [I]0-i had reached the head of [[my]0-i class]1115-my class ; [Miss Miller]207-miss miller had praised [me]0-i warmly ; [Miss Temple]201-miss temple had smiled approbation ; [she]201-miss temple had promised to teach [me]0-i drawing , and to let [me]0-i learn French , if [I]0-i continued to make similar improvement two months longer : and then [I]0-i was well received by [[my]0-i fellow - pupils]1116-my fellow - pupils ; treated as an equal by [those of [my]0-i own age]1117-those of my own age , and not molested by any ; now , here [I]0-i lay again crushed and trodden on ; and could [I]0-i ever rise more ? " Never , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought ; and ardently [I]0-i wished to die . While sobbing out this wish in broken accents , [some one]637-some one approached : [I]0-i started up - again [Helen Burns]213-helen was near [me]0-i ; the fading fires just showed [her]213-helen coming up [the long , vacant room]1119-the long , vacant room ; [she]213-helen brought [my]0-i coffee and bread . " Come , eat something , "[213-helen] [she]213-helen said ; but [I]0-i put both away from [me]0-i , feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked [me]0-i in [my]0-i present condition . [Helen]213-helen regarded [me]0-i , probably with surprise : [I]0-i could not now abate [my]0-i agitation , though [I]0-i tried hard ; [I]0-i continued to weep aloud . [She]213-helen sat down on the ground near [me]0-i , embraced [her]213-helen knees with [her]213-helen arms , and rested [her]213-helen head upon them ; in that attitude [she]213-helen remained silent as [an Indian]1120-an indian . [I]0-i was the first who spoke - " [Helen]213-helen , why do [you]213-helen stay with [a girl whom [everybody]4413-everybody believes to be [a liar]4746-a liar]4758-a girl whom everybody believes to be a liar ? "[0-i] " [Everybody]4413-everybody , [Jane]146-jane ? Why , there are only [eighty people who have heard [you]146-jane called so]4762-eighty people who have heard you called so , and [the world]484-the world contains [hundreds of millions]4764-hundreds of millions . "[1120-an indian] " But what have [I]1120-an indian to do with [millions]4765-millions ? The eighty , [I]1120-an indian know , despise [me]1120-an indian . "[1120-an indian] " [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane are mistaken : probably [not one in [the school]4461-the school]4766-not one in the school either despises or dislikes [you]146-jane : many , [I]0-i am sure , pity [you]146-jane much . "[0-i] " How can [they]4762-eighty people who have heard you called so pity [me]1120-an indian after what [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst has said ? "[1120-an indian] " [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst is not [a god]4768-a god : nor is [he]196-mr. brocklehurst even [a great and admired man]4769-a great and admired man : [he]196-mr. brocklehurst is little liked [here]4312-here ; [he]196-mr. brocklehurst never took steps to make [himself]196-mr. brocklehurst liked . Had [he]196-mr. brocklehurst treated [you]146-jane as an especial favourite , [you]146-jane would have found [enemies]4771-enemies , declared or covert , all around [you]146-jane ; as it is , [the greater number]4772-the greater number would offer [you]146-jane sympathy if [they]4772-the greater number dared . [Teachers]4452-teachers and [pupils]4774-pupils may look coldly on [you]146-jane for a day or two , but friendly feelings are concealed in [their]4772-the greater number hearts ; and if [you]146-jane persevere in doing well , these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for [their]4772-the greater number temporary suppression . Besides , [Jane]146-jane "[1121-i] - [she]1121-i paused . " Well , [Helen]213-helen ? "[0-i] said [I]0-i , putting [my]0-i hand into [hers]1121-i : [she]1121-i chafed [my]0-i fingers gently to warm them , and went on - " If all [the world]484-the world hated [you]146-jane , and believed [you]146-jane wicked , while [your]146-jane own conscience approved [you]146-jane , and absolved [you]146-jane from guilt , [you]146-jane would not be without [friends]1114-friends . "[1121-i] " No ; [I]1121-i know [I]1121-i should think well of [myself]1121-i ; but that is not enough : if [others]1041-others do n't love [me]1121-i [I]1121-i would rather die than live - [I]1121-i can not bear to be solitary and hated , [Helen]213-helen . Look here ; to gain some real affection from [you]213-helen , or [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , or [any other whom [I]1121-i truly love]4778-any other whom i truly love , [I]1121-i would willingly submit to have the bone of [my]1121-i arm broken , or to let a bull toss [me]1121-i , or to stand behind a kicking horse , and let it dash its hoof at [my]1121-i chest - "[1121-i] " Hush , [Jane]146-jane ! [you]213-helen think too much of the love of [human beings]754-human beings ; [you]213-helen are too impulsive , too vehement ; the sovereign hand that created [your]213-helen frame , and put life into it , has provided [you]213-helen with other resources than [your]213-helen feeble self , or than creatures feeble as [you]213-helen . Besides [this earth]4780-this earth , and besides [the race of [men]482-men]4781-the race of men , there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits : [that world]4783-that world is round [us]4784-us , for it is everywhere ; and those spirits watch [us]4784-us , for [they]4785-they are commissioned to guard [us]4784-us ; and if [we]4784-us were dying in pain and shame , if scorn smote [us]4784-us on all sides , and hatred crushed [us]4784-us , [angels]4449-angels see [our]4784-us tortures , recognise [our]4784-us innocence if innocent [we]4784-us be : as [I]1121-i know [you]213-helen are of this charge which [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at second - hand from [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ; for [I]1121-i read a sincere nature in [your]213-helen ardent eyes and on [your]213-helen clear front , and [God]180-mrs. fairfax waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown [us]4784-us with a full reward . Why , then , should [we]4784-us ever sink overwhelmed with distress , when life is so soon over , and death is so certain an entrance to happiness - to glory ? "[1121-i] [I]0-i was silent ; [Helen]213-helen had calmed [me]0-i ; but in the tranquillity [she]213-helen imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness . [I]0-i felt the impression of woe as [she]213-helen spoke , but [I]0-i could not tell whence it came ; and when , having done speaking , [she]213-helen breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough , [I]0-i momentarily forgot [my]0-i own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for [her]213-helen . Resting [my]0-i head on [Helen]213-helen 's shoulder , [I]0-i put [my]0-i arms round [her]213-helen waist ; [she]213-helen drew [me]0-i to [her]213-helen , and [we]1122-we reposed in silence . [We]1122-we had not sat long thus , when [another person came in . Some heavy clouds , swept from the sky by a rising wind]1123-another person came in . some heavy clouds , swept from the sky by a rising wind , had left the moon bare ; and [her]213-helen light , streaming in through a window near , shone full both on [us]1122-we and on the approaching figure , which [we]1122-we at once recognised as [Miss Temple]201-miss temple . " [I]213-helen came on purpose to find [you]0-i , [Jane Eyre]146-jane , "[213-helen] said [she]213-helen ; " [I]213-helen want [you]0-i in [[my]213-helen room]4787-my room ; and as [Helen Burns]213-helen is with [you]0-i , [she]213-helen may come too . "[213-helen] [We]1122-we went ; following [the superintendent]4451-the superintendent 's guidance , [we]1122-we had to thread some intricate passages , and mount a staircase before [we]1122-we reached [[her]213-helen apartment]1125-her apartment ; it contained a good fire , and looked cheerful . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple told [Helen Burns]213-helen to be seated in a low arm - chair on one side of the hearth , and [herself]201-miss temple taking another , [she]201-miss temple called [me]0-i to [her]201-miss temple side . " Is it all over ? "[201-miss temple] [she]201-miss temple asked , looking down at [my]0-i face . " Have [you]0-i cried [your]0-i grief away ? "[201-miss temple] " [I]201-miss temple am afraid [I]201-miss temple never shall do that . "[201-miss temple] " Why ? "[201-miss temple] " Because [I]201-miss temple have been wrongly accused ; and [you]0-i , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , and [everybody else]4789-everybody else , will now think [me]201-miss temple wicked . "[201-miss temple] " [We]1122-we shall think [you]0-i what [you]0-i prove [yourself]0-i to be , [[my]201-miss temple child]4790-my child . Continue to act as [a good girl]4791-a good girl , and [you]0-i will satisfy [us]1122-we . "[201-miss temple] " Shall [I]1126-me , [Miss Temple]201-miss temple ? "[1126-me] " [You]0-i will , "[1126-me] said [she]1126-me , passing [her]1126-me arm round [me]0-i . " And now tell [me]1126-me who is [the lady whom [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst called [your]0-i benefactress]4792-the lady whom mr. brocklehurst called your benefactress ? "[1126-me] " [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , [[[my]1126-me uncle]4421-my uncle 's wife]4794-my uncle 's wife . [[My]1126-me uncle]4421-my uncle is dead , and [he]4421-my uncle left [me]1126-me to [her]4794-my uncle 's wife care . "[1126-me] " Did [she]4794-my uncle 's wife not , then , adopt [you]0-i of [her]4794-my uncle 's wife own accord ? "[1126-me] " No , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ; [she]4794-my uncle 's wife was sorry to have to do it : but [[my]1126-me uncle]4421-my uncle , as [I]1126-me have often heard [the servants]546-the servants say , got [her]4794-my uncle 's wife to promise before [he]4421-my uncle died that [she]4794-my uncle 's wife would always keep [me]1126-me . "[1126-me] " Well now , [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane know , or at least [I]0-i will tell [you]146-jane , that when [a criminal]4799-a criminal is accused , [he]4799-a criminal is always allowed to speak in [his]4799-a criminal own defence . [You]146-jane have been charged with falsehood ; defend [yourself]146-jane to [me]0-i as well as [you]146-jane can . Say whatever [your]146-jane memory suggests is true ; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing . "[0-i] [I]0-i resolved , in the depth of [my]0-i heart , that [I]0-i would be most moderate - most correct ; and , having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what [I]0-i had to say , [I]0-i told [her]1127-her all the story of [my]0-i sad childhood . Exhausted by emotion , [my]0-i language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme ; and mindful of [Helen]213-helen 's warnings against the indulgence of resentment , [I]0-i infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary . Thus restrained and simplified , it sounded more credible : [I]0-i felt as [I]0-i went on that [Miss Temple]201-miss temple fully believed [me]0-i . In the course of the tale [I]0-i had mentioned [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd as having come to see [me]0-i after the fit : for [I]0-i never forgot the , to [me]0-i , frightful episode of [the red - room]4331-the red - room : in detailing which , [my]0-i excitement was sure , in some degree , to break bounds ; for nothing could soften in [my]0-i recollection the spasm of agony which clutched [my]0-i heart when [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed spurned [my]0-i wild supplication for pardon , and locked [me]0-i a second time in [the dark and haunted chamber]1129-the dark and haunted chamber . [I]0-i had finished : [Miss Temple]201-miss temple regarded [me]0-i a few minutes in silence ; [she]201-miss temple then said - " [I]201-miss temple know something of [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd ; [I]201-miss temple shall write to [him]182-mr. lloyd ; if [his]182-mr. lloyd reply agrees with [your]0-i statement , [you]0-i shall be publicly cleared from every imputation ; to [me]201-miss temple , [Jane]146-jane , [you]0-i are clear now . "[201-miss temple] [She]201-miss temple kissed [me]0-i , and still keeping [me]0-i at [her]201-miss temple side where [I]0-i was well contented to stand , for [I]0-i derived [a child]4305-a child 's pleasure from the contemplation of [her]201-miss temple face , [her]201-miss temple dress , [her]201-miss temple one or two ornaments , [her]201-miss temple white forehead , [her]201-miss temple clustered and shining curls , and beaming dark eyes , [she]201-miss temple proceeded to address [Helen Burns]213-helen . " How are [you]213-helen to - night , [Helen]213-helen ? Have [you]213-helen coughed much to - day ? "[201-miss temple] " Not quite so much , [I]201-miss temple think , [ma'am]4353-ma'am . "[201-miss temple] " And the pain in [your]213-helen chest ? "[201-miss temple] " It is a little better . "[201-miss temple] [Miss Temple]201-miss temple got up , took [her]201-miss temple hand and examined [her]201-miss temple pulse ; then [she]201-miss temple returned to [her]201-miss temple own seat : as [she]201-miss temple resumed it , [I]0-i heard [her]201-miss temple sigh low . [She]201-miss temple was pensive a few minutes , then rousing [herself]201-miss temple , [she]201-miss temple said cheerfully - " But [you]4801-you two are [[my]201-miss temple visitors]4802-my visitors to - night ; [I]201-miss temple must treat [you]4801-you as such . "[201-miss temple] [She]201-miss temple rang [her]201-miss temple bell . " [Barbara]229-barbara , "[201-miss temple] [she]201-miss temple said to the servant who answered it , " [I]201-miss temple have not yet had tea ; bring the tray and place cups for [these two young ladies]4803-these two young ladies . "[201-miss temple] And a tray was soon brought . How pretty , to [my]0-i eyes , did the china cups and bright teapot look , placed on the little round table near the fire ! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage , and the scent of the toast ! of which , however , [I]0-i , to [my]0-i dismay for [I]0-i was beginning to be hungry discerned only a very small portion : [Miss Temple]201-miss temple discerned it too . " [Barbara]229-barbara , "[201-miss temple] said [she]201-miss temple , " can [you]229-barbara not bring a little more bread and butter ? There is not enough for three . "[201-miss temple] [Barbara]229-barbara went out : [she]229-barbara returned soon - " [Madam]4457-madam , [Mrs. Harden]230-mrs. harden says [she]230-mrs. harden has sent up the usual quantity . "[230-mrs. harden] [Mrs. Harden]230-mrs. harden , be it observed , was [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper : a woman after [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst 's own heart , made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron . " Oh , very well ! "[201-miss temple] returned [Miss Temple]201-miss temple ; " [we]1133-we must make it do , [Barbara]229-barbara , [I]201-miss temple suppose . "[201-miss temple] And as [the girl]982-the girl withdrew [she]201-miss temple added , smiling , " Fortunately , [I]201-miss temple have it in [my]201-miss temple power to supply deficiencies for this once . "[201-miss temple] Having invited [Helen]213-helen and [me]0-i to approach the table , and placed before each of [us]1133-we a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast , [she]201-miss temple got up , unlocked a drawer , and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper , disclosed presently to [our]1133-we eyes a good - sized seed - cake . " [I]201-miss temple meant to give each of [you]1133-we some of this to take with [you]1133-we , "[201-miss temple] said [she]201-miss temple , " but as there is so little toast , [you]1133-we must have it now , "[201-miss temple] and [she]201-miss temple proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand . [We]1133-we feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia ; and not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which [[our]1133-we hostess]1134-our hostess regarded [us]1133-we , as [we]1133-we satisfied [our]1133-we famished appetites on the delicate fare [she]201-miss temple liberally supplied . Tea over and the tray removed , [she]201-miss temple again summoned [us]1133-we to the fire ; [we]1133-we sat one on each side of [her]201-miss temple , and now a conversation followed between [her]201-miss temple and [Helen]213-helen , which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple had always something of serenity in [her]201-miss temple air , of state in [her]201-miss temple mien , of refined propriety in [her]201-miss temple language , which precluded deviation into the ardent , the excited , the eager : something which chastened the pleasure of [those who looked on [her]201-miss temple and listened to [her]201-miss temple]1135-those who looked on her and listened to her , by a controlling sense of awe ; and such was [my]0-i feeling now : but as to [Helen Burns]213-helen , [I]0-i was struck with wonder . The refreshing meal , the brilliant fire , the presence and kindness of [[her]201-miss temple beloved instructress]1136-her beloved instructress , or , perhaps , more than all these , something in [her]201-miss temple own unique mind , had roused [her]201-miss temple powers within [her]201-miss temple . [They]1137-they woke , [they]1137-they kindled : first , they glowed in the bright tint of [her]201-miss temple cheek , which till this hour [I]0-i had never seen but pale and bloodless ; then they shone in the liquid lustre of [her]201-miss temple eyes , which had suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than that of [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's - a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash , nor pencilled brow , but of meaning , of movement , of radiance . Then [her]201-miss temple soul sat on [her]201-miss temple lips , and language flowed , from what source [I]0-i can not tell . Has [a girl of fourteen]1138-a girl of fourteen a heart large enough , vigorous enough , to hold the swelling spring of pure , full , fervid eloquence ? Such was the characteristic of [Helen]213-helen 's discourse on that , to [me]0-i , memorable evening ; [her]213-helen spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence . [They]1137-they conversed of things [I]0-i had never heard of ; of nations and times past ; of [countries far away]1139-countries far away ; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at : [they]1137-they spoke of books : how many [they]1137-they had read ! What stores of knowledge [they]1137-they possessed ! Then [they]1137-they seemed so familiar with French names and [French authors]1140-french authors : but [my]0-i amazement reached its climax when [Miss Temple]201-miss temple asked [Helen]213-helen if [she]213-helen sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin [[her]213-helen father]1141-her father had taught [her]213-helen , and taking a book from a shelf , bade [her]213-helen read and construe a page of Virgil ; and [Helen]213-helen obeyed , [my]0-i organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line . [She]213-helen had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime ! no delay could be admitted ; [Miss Temple]201-miss temple embraced [us]1142-us both , saying , as [she]201-miss temple drew [us]1142-us to [her]201-miss temple heart - " God bless [you]1142-us , [[my]201-miss temple children]4805-my children ! "[201-miss temple] [Helen]213-helen [she]201-miss temple held a little longer than [me]0-i : [she]201-miss temple let [her]213-helen go more reluctantly ; it was [Helen]213-helen [her]201-miss temple eye followed to the door ; it was for [her]213-helen [she]213-helen a second time breathed a sad sigh ; for [her]213-helen [she]213-helen wiped a tear from [her]213-helen cheek . On reaching [the bedroom]887-the bedroom , [we]1142-us heard the voice of [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd : [she]211-miss scatcherd was examining drawers ; [she]211-miss scatcherd had just pulled out [Helen Burns]213-helen 's , and when [we]1142-us entered [Helen]213-helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand , and told that to - morrow [she]213-helen should have half - a - dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to [her]213-helen shoulder . " [My]213-helen things were indeed in shameful disorder , "[213-helen] murmured [Helen]213-helen to [me]0-i , in a low voice : " [I]213-helen intended to have arranged them , but [I]213-helen forgot . "[213-helen] Next morning , [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece of pasteboard the word " Slattern , "[211-miss scatcherd] and bound it like a phylactery round [Helen]213-helen 's large , mild , intelligent , and benign- looking forehead . [She]213-helen wore it till evening , patient , unresentful , regarding it as a deserved punishment . The moment [Miss Scatcherd]211-miss scatcherd withdrew after [afternoon school]1144-afternoon school , [I]0-i ran to [Helen]213-helen , tore it off , and thrust it into the fire : the fury of which [she]213-helen was incapable had been burning in [my]0-i soul all day , and tears , hot and large , had continually been scalding [my]0-i cheek ; for the spectacle of [her]213-helen sad resignation gave [me]0-i an intolerable pain at the heart . About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated , [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , who had written to [Mr. Lloyd]182-mr. lloyd , received [his]182-mr. lloyd answer : it appeared that what [he]182-mr. lloyd said went to corroborate [my]0-i account . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , having assembled [the whole school]940-the whole school , announced that inquiry had been made into the charges alleged against [Jane Eyre]146-jane , and that [she]213-helen was most happy to be able to pronounce [her]146-jane completely cleared from every imputation . [The teachers]4456-the teachers then shook hands with [me]0-i and kissed [me]0-i , and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of [[my]0-i companions]1147-my companions . Thus relieved of a grievous load , [I]0-i from that hour set to work afresh , resolved to pioneer [my]0-i way through every difficulty : [I]0-i toiled hard , and [my]0-i success was proportionate to [my]0-i efforts ; [my]0-i memory , not naturally tenacious , improved with practice ; exercise sharpened [my]0-i wits ; in a few weeks [I]0-i was promoted to a higher class ; in less than two months [I]0-i was allowed to commence French and drawing . [I]0-i learned the first two tenses of the verb ETRE , and sketched [[my]0-i first cottage]1148-my first cottage whose walls , by - the - bye , outrivalled in slope those of [the leaning tower of [Pisa]41-pisa]1149-the leaning tower of pisa , on the same day . That night , on going to bed , [I]0-i forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes , or white bread and new milk , with which [I]0-i was wo nt to amuse [my]0-i inward cravings : [I]0-i feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings , which [I]0-i saw in the dark ; all the work of [my]0-i own hands : freely pencilled [houses]665-houses and trees , picturesque rocks and ruins , Cuyp - like groups of cattle , sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses , of birds picking at ripe cherries , of wren 's nests enclosing pearl - like eggs , wreathed about with young ivy sprays . [I]0-i examined , too , in thought , the possibility of [my]0-i ever being able to translate currently a certain little French story which [Madame Pierrot]212-madame pierrot had that day shown [me]0-i ; nor was that problem solved to [my]0-i satisfaction ere [I]0-i fell sweetly asleep . Well has [Solomon]231-solomon said - " Better is a dinner of herbs where love is , than a stalled ox and hatred therewith . "[231-solomon] [I]0-i would not now have exchanged [Lowood]25-lowood with all its privations for [Gateshead]20-gateshead and its daily luxuries . CHAPTER IX But the privations , or rather the hardships , of [Lowood]25-lowood lessened . Spring drew on : [she]1151-she was indeed already come ; the frosts of winter had ceased ; its snows were melted , its cutting winds ameliorated . [My]0-i wretched feet , flayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January , began to heal and subside under the gentler breathings of April ; the nights and mornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in [our]1152-our veins ; [we]1152-our could now endure the play - hour passed in [the garden]4568-the garden : sometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial , and a greenness grew over those brown beds , which , freshening daily , suggested the thought that [Hope]232-hope traversed them at night , and left each morning brighter traces of [her]232-hope steps . Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves ; snow- drops , crocuses , purple auriculas , and golden - eyed pansies . On Thursday afternoons half - holidays [we]1152-our now took walks , and found still sweeter flowers opening by the wayside , under the hedges . [I]0-i discovered , too , that a great pleasure , an enjoyment which the horizon only bounded , lay all outside the high and spike - guarded walls of [[our]1152-our garden]1154-our garden : this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling [a great hill - hollow , rich in verdure and shadow]1155-a great hill - hollow , rich in verdure and shadow ; in a bright beck , full of dark stones and sparkling eddies . How different had this scene looked when [I]0-i viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter , stiffened in frost , shrouded with snow ! - when mists as chill as death wandered to the impulse of east winds along [those purple peaks]1156-those purple peaks , and rolled down " ing "[0-i] and holm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck ! That beck itself was then a torrent , turbid and curbless : it tore asunder the wood , and sent a raving sound through the air , often thickened with wild rain or whirling sleet ; and for [the forest on [its]25-lowood banks]1157-the forest on its banks , THAT showed only ranks of skeletons . April advanced to May : a bright serene May it was ; days of blue sky , placid sunshine , and soft western or southern gales filled up its duration . And now vegetation matured with vigour ; [Lowood]25-lowood shook loose [its]25-lowood tresses ; it became all green , all flowery ; its great elm , ash , and oak skeletons were restored to majestic life ; woodland plants sprang up profusely in [its]25-lowood recesses ; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its hollows , and it made a strange ground - sunshine out of the wealth of [its]25-lowood wild primrose plants : [I]0-i have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed spots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre . All this [I]0-i enjoyed often and fully , free , unwatched , and almost alone : for this unwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause , to which it now becomes [my]0-i task to advert . Have [I]0-i not described a pleasant site for a dwelling , when [I]0-i speak of [it]1158-it as bosomed in [hill and wood]1159-hill and wood , and rising from [the verge of [a stream]1161-a stream]1160-the verge of a stream ? Assuredly , pleasant enough : but whether healthy or not is another question . [That forest - dell]1162-that forest - dell , where [Lowood]25-lowood lay , was the cradle of fog and fog - bred pestilence ; which , quickening with the quickening spring , crept into [the Orphan Asylum]1163-the orphan asylum , breathed typhus through [[its]1163-the orphan asylum crowded schoolroom and [dormitory]978-dormitory]1164-its crowded schoolroom and dormitory , and , ere May arrived , transformed [the seminary]1166-the seminary into [an hospital]1167-an hospital . Semi - starvation and neglected colds had predisposed [most of [the pupils]4566-the pupils]1168-most of the pupils to receive infection : [forty - five out of [the eighty girls]931-the eighty girls]1170-forty - five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one time . Classes were broken up , rules relaxed . [The few who continued well]1172-the few who continued well were allowed almost unlimited license ; because [the medical attendant]1173-the medical attendant insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep [them]1172-the few who continued well in health : and had it been otherwise , [no one]593-no one had leisure to watch or restrain [them]1172-the few who continued well . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's whole attention was absorbed by [the patients]1175-the patients : [she]201-miss temple lived in [the sick - room]1176-the sick - room , never quitting [it]1176-the sick - room except to snatch a few hours ' rest at night . [The teachers]4456-the teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other necessary preparations for the departure of [those girls who were fortunate enough to have [friends]1114-friends and relations able and willing to remove [them]1178-those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of contagion from the seat of contagion]1178-those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of contagion . [Many , already smitten]1180-many , already smitten , went [home]509-home only to die : [some]1182-some died at [the school]4461-the school , and were buried quietly and quickly , the nature of the malady forbidding delay . While disease had thus become [an inhabitant of [Lowood]25-lowood]1184-an inhabitant of lowood , and death [its frequent visitor]1185-its frequent visitor ; while there was gloom and fear within [its]25-lowood walls ; while [[its]25-lowood rooms and [passages]1187-passages]1186-its rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells , the drug and the pastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality , that bright May shone unclouded over [the bold hills]1188-the bold hills and [beautiful woodland]1189-beautiful woodland out of doors . [Its garden]1190-its garden , too , glowed with flowers : hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees , lilies had opened , tulips and roses were in bloom ; the borders of [the little beds]1191-the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double daisies ; [the sweetbriars]1192-the sweetbriars gave out , morning and evening , [their]1192-the sweetbriars scent of spice and apples ; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for [most of [the inmates of [Lowood]25-lowood]1194-the inmates of lowood]1193-most of the inmates of lowood , except to furnish now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms to put in a coffin . But [I]0-i , and the rest who continued well , enjoyed fully the beauties of the scene and season ; [they]1195-they let [us]1196-we ramble in the wood , like gipsies , from morning till night ; [we]1196-we did what [we]1196-we liked , went where [we]1196-we liked : [we]1196-we lived better too . [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst and [[his]196-mr. brocklehurst family]1092-his family never came near [Lowood]25-lowood now : household matters were not scrutinised into ; [the cross housekeeper]1198-the cross housekeeper was gone , driven away by the fear of infection ; [[her]1198-the cross housekeeper successor]1199-her successor , who had been [matron at [the Lowton Dispensary]1201-the lowton dispensary , unused to the ways of [[her]1198-the cross housekeeper new abode]1202-her new abode]1200-matron at the lowton dispensary , unused to the ways of her new abode , provided with comparative liberality . Besides , there were fewer to feed ; [the sick]1203-the sick could eat little ; [our]1196-we breakfast - basins were better filled ; when there was no time to prepare a regular dinner , which often happened , [she]1198-the cross housekeeper would give [us]1196-we a large piece of cold pie , or a thick slice of bread and cheese , and this [we]1196-we carried away with [us]1196-we to [the wood]1204-the wood , where [we]1196-we each chose the spot [we]1196-we liked best , and dined sumptuously . [My]0-i favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone , rising white and dry from the very middle of the beck , and only to be got at by wading through the water ; a feat [I]0-i accomplished barefoot . The stone was just broad enough to accommodate , comfortably , [another girl]1205-another girl and [me]0-i , at that time [[my]0-i chosen comrade]1206-my chosen comrade - one [Mary Ann Wilson]233-mary ; [a shrewd , observant personage , whose society [I]0-i took pleasure in , partly because [she]233-mary was witty and original , and partly because [she]233-mary had a manner which set [me]0-i at [my]0-i ease]1207-a shrewd , observant personage , whose society i took pleasure in , partly because she was witty and original , and partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease . Some years older than [I]0-i , [she]233-mary knew more of [the world]484-the world , and could tell [me]0-i many things [I]0-i liked to hear : with [her]233-mary [my]0-i curiosity found gratification : to [my]0-i faults also [she]233-mary gave ample indulgence , never imposing curb or rein on anything [I]0-i said . [She]233-mary had a turn for narrative , [I]0-i for analysis ; [she]233-mary liked to inform , [I]0-i to question ; so [we]1209-we got on swimmingly together , deriving much entertainment , if not much improvement , from [our]1209-we mutual intercourse . And where , meantime , was [Helen Burns]213-helen ? Why did [I]0-i not spend these sweet days of liberty with [her]213-helen ? Had [I]0-i forgotten [her]213-helen ? or was [I]0-i so worthless as to have grown tired of [her]213-helen pure society ? Surely the [Mary Ann Wilson]233-mary [I]0-i have mentioned was inferior to [my]0-i first acquaintance : [she]233-mary could only tell [me]0-i amusing stories , and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip [I]0-i chose to indulge in ; while , if [I]0-i have spoken truth of [Helen]213-helen , [she]233-mary was qualified to give [those who enjoyed the privilege of [her]233-mary converse]1210-those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far higher things . True , [reader]496-reader ; and [I]0-i knew and felt this : and though [I]0-i am [a defective being , with many faults and few redeeming points]1212-a defective being , with many faults and few redeeming points , yet [I]0-i never tired of [Helen Burns]213-helen ; nor ever ceased to cherish for [her]213-helen a sentiment of attachment , as strong , tender , and respectful as any that ever animated [my]0-i heart . How could it be otherwise , when [Helen]213-helen , at all times and under all circumstances , evinced for [me]0-i a quiet and faithful friendship , which ill - humour never soured , nor irritation never troubled ? But [Helen]213-helen was ill at present : for some weeks [she]213-helen had been removed from [my]0-i sight to [I]0-i knew not [what room]1213-what room [upstairs]552-upstairs . [She]213-helen was not , [I]0-i was told , in [the hospital portion of [the house]4322-the house]1215-the hospital portion of the house with [the fever patients]1217-the fever patients ; for [her]213-helen complaint was consumption , not typhus : and by consumption [I]0-i , in [my]0-i ignorance , understood something mild , which time and care would be sure to alleviate . [I]0-i was confirmed in this idea by the fact of [her]213-helen once or twice coming [downstairs]1218-downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons , and being taken by [Miss Temple]201-miss temple into [the garden]4568-the garden ; but , on these occasions , [I]0-i was not allowed to go and speak to [her]213-helen ; [I]0-i only saw [her]213-helen from the schoolroom window , and then not distinctly ; for [she]213-helen was much wrapped up , and sat at a distance under [the verandah]969-the verandah . One evening , in the beginning of June , [I]0-i had stayed out very late with [Mary Ann]233-mary in [the wood]1204-the wood ; [we]1222-we had , as usual , separated [ourselves]1222-we from the others , and had wandered far ; so far that [we]1222-we lost [our]1222-we way , and had to ask it at [a lonely cottage]1223-a lonely cottage , where [a man]4429-a man and [woman]1225-woman lived , who looked after a herd of half - wild swine that fed on the mast in [the wood]1204-the wood . When [we]1222-we got back , it was after moonrise : a pony , which [we]1222-we knew to be [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon 's , was standing at [the garden]4568-the garden door . [Mary Ann]233-mary remarked that [she]233-mary supposed [some one]637-some one must be very ill , as [Mr. Bates]234-mr. bates had been sent for at that time of the evening . [She]233-mary went into [the house]4322-the house ; [I]0-i stayed behind a few minutes to plant in [[my]0-i garden]1231-my garden a handful of roots [I]0-i had dug up in [the forest]1232-the forest , and which [I]0-i feared would wither if [I]0-i left them till the morning . This done , [I]0-i lingered yet a little longer : the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell ; it was such a pleasant evening , so serene , so warm ; [the still glowing west]1233-the still glowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow ; the moon rose with such majesty in [the grave east]1234-the grave east . [I]0-i was noting these things and enjoying them as [a child]4305-a child might , when it entered [my]0-i mind as it had never done before:- " How sad to be lying now on a sick bed , and to be in danger of dying ! [This world]4664-this world is pleasant - it would be dreary to be called from [it]4664-this world , and to have to go who knows where ? "[1236-it] And then [my]0-i mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell ; and for the first time it recoiled , baffled ; and for the first time glancing behind , on each side , and before it , [it]1236-it saw all round an unfathomed gulf : it felt the one point where it stood - the present ; all the rest was formless cloud and vacant depth ; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering , and plunging amid that chaos . While pondering this new idea , [I]0-i heard the front door open ; [Mr. Bates]234-mr. bates came out , and with [him]234-mr. bates was [a nurse]1237-a nurse . After [she]1237-a nurse had seen [him]234-mr. bates mount [his]234-mr. bates horse and depart , [she]1237-a nurse was about to close the door , but [I]0-i ran up to [her]1237-a nurse . " How is [Helen Burns]213-helen ? "[0-i] " Very poorly , "[1237-a nurse] was the answer . " Is it [her]213-helen [Mr. Bates]234-mr. bates has been to see ? "[0-i] " Yes . "[0-i] " And what does [he]234-mr. bates say about [her]213-helen ? "[0-i] " [He]234-mr. bates says [she]213-helen 'll not be [here]4312-here long . "[0-i] This phrase , uttered in [my]0-i hearing yesterday , would have only conveyed the notion that [she]1237-a nurse was about to be removed to [Northumberland]36-northumberland , to [[her]1237-a nurse own home]1238-her own home . [I]0-i should not have suspected that it meant [she]1237-a nurse was dying ; but [I]0-i knew instantly now ! It opened clear on [my]0-i comprehension that [Helen Burns]213-helen was numbering [her]213-helen last days in [this world]4664-this world , and that [she]1237-a nurse was going to be taken to [the region of spirits]1240-the region of spirits , if such region there were . [I]0-i experienced a shock of horror , then a strong thrill of grief , then a desire - a necessity to see [her]213-helen ; and [I]0-i asked in what [room]581-room [she]1237-a nurse lay . " [She]213-helen is in [[Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's room]4808-miss temple 's room , "[510-the nurse] said [the nurse]510-the nurse . " May [I]510-the nurse go up and speak to [her]213-helen ? "[510-the nurse] " Oh no , [child]4354-child ! It is not likely ; and now it is time for [you]4354-child to come in ; [you]4354-child 'll catch the fever if [you]4354-child stop out when the dew is falling . "[510-the nurse] [The nurse]510-the nurse closed the front door ; [I]0-i went in by the side entrance which led to [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom : [I]0-i was just in time ; it was nine o'clock , and [Miss Miller]207-miss miller was calling [the pupils]4566-the pupils to go to bed . It might be two hours later , probably near eleven , when [I]0-i - not having been able to fall asleep , and deeming , from the perfect silence of [the dormitory]1246-the dormitory , that [[my]0-i companions]1147-my companions were all wrapt in profound repose - rose softly , put on [my]0-i frock over [my]0-i night - dress , and , without shoes , crept from [the apartment]560-the apartment , and set off in quest of [[Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's room]4808-miss temple 's room . [It]1250-it was quite at the other end of [the house]4322-the house ; but [I]0-i knew [my]0-i way ; and the light of the unclouded summer moon , entering here and there at passage windows , enabled [me]0-i to find it without difficulty . An odour of camphor and burnt vinegar warned [me]0-i when [I]0-i came near [the fever room]1252-the fever room : and [I]0-i passed [its]1252-the fever room door quickly , fearful lest [the nurse who sat up all night]1253-the nurse who sat up all night should hear [me]0-i . [I]0-i dreaded being discovered and sent back ; for [I]0-i MUST see [Helen]213-helen , - [I]0-i must embrace [her]213-helen before [she]213-helen died , - [I]0-i must give [her]213-helen one last kiss , exchange with [her]213-helen one last word . Having descended a staircase , traversed [a portion of [the house]4322-the house below]1254-a portion of the house below , and succeeded in opening and shutting , without noise , two doors , [I]0-i reached another flight of steps ; these [I]0-i mounted , and then just opposite to [me]0-i was [[Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's room]4808-miss temple 's room . A light shone through the keyhole and from under the door ; a profound stillness pervaded [the vicinity]1257-the vicinity . Coming near , [I]0-i found the door slightly ajar ; probably to admit some fresh air into the close abode of sickness . Indisposed to hesitate , and full of impatient impulses - soul and senses quivering with keen throes - [I]0-i put it back and looked in . [My]0-i eye sought [Helen]213-helen , and feared to find death . Close by [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's bed , and half covered with [its]1258-its white curtains , there stood a little crib . [I]0-i saw the outline of a form under the clothes , but the face was hid by the hangings : [the nurse [I]0-i had spoken to in [the garden]4568-the garden]1259-the nurse i had spoken to in the garden sat in an easy - chair asleep ; an unsnuffed candle burnt dimly on the table . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple was not to be seen : [I]0-i knew afterwards that [she]201-miss temple had been called to [a delirious patient]1261-a delirious patient in [the fever - room]1262-the fever - room . [I]0-i advanced ; then paused by the crib side : [my]0-i hand was on the curtain , but [I]0-i preferred speaking before [I]0-i withdrew it . [I]0-i still recoiled at the dread of seeing a corpse . " [Helen]213-helen ! "[0-i] [I]0-i whispered softly , " are [you]213-helen awake ? "[0-i] [She]213-helen stirred [herself]213-helen , put back the curtain , and [I]0-i saw [her]213-helen face , pale , wasted , but quite composed : [she]213-helen looked so little changed that [my]0-i fear was instantly dissipated . " Can it be [you]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ? "[213-helen] [she]213-helen asked , in [her]213-helen own gentle voice . " Oh ! "[213-helen] [I]0-i thought , ' [she]213-helen is not going to die ; [they]1263-they are mistaken : [she]213-helen could not speak and look so calmly if [she]213-helen were . " [I]213-helen got on to [[her]213-helen crib]4810-her crib and kissed [her]213-helen : [her]213-helen forehead was cold , and [her]213-helen cheek both cold and thin , and so were [her]213-helen hand and wrist ; but [she]213-helen smiled as of old . "[213-helen] Why are [you]0-i come here , [Jane]146-jane ? It is past eleven o'clock : [I]0-i heard it strike some minutes since . " "[0-i] [I]0-i came to see [you]0-i , [Helen]213-helen : [I]0-i heard [you]0-i were very ill , and [I]0-i could not sleep till [I]0-i had spoken to [you]0-i . " "[0-i] [You]0-i came to bid [me]0-i good - bye , then : [you]0-i are just in time probably . " "[0-i] Are [you]0-i going somewhere , [Helen]213-helen ? Are [you]0-i going [home]509-home ? " "[0-i] Yes ; to [[my]0-i long home]1265-my long home - [[my]0-i last home]1266-my last home . " "[213-helen] No , no , [Helen]213-helen ! " [I]213-helen stopped , distressed . While [I]213-helen tried to devour [my]213-helen tears , a fit of coughing seized [Helen]213-helen ; it did not , however , wake [the nurse]510-the nurse ; when it was over , [she]510-the nurse lay some minutes exhausted ; then [she]510-the nurse whispered - "[213-helen] [Jane]146-jane , [your]146-jane little feet are bare ; lie down and cover [yourself]146-jane with [my]0-i quilt . " [I]213-helen did so : [she]510-the nurse put [her]510-the nurse arm over [me]213-helen , and [I]213-helen nestled close to [her]510-the nurse . After a long silence , [she]510-the nurse resumed , still whispering - "[213-helen] [I]0-i am very happy , [Jane]146-jane ; and when [you]146-jane hear that [I]0-i am dead , [you]146-jane must be sure and not grieve : there is nothing to grieve about . [We]1267-we all must die one day , and the illness which is removing [me]0-i is not painful ; it is gentle and gradual : [my]0-i mind is at rest . [I]0-i leave [no one]593-no one to regret [me]0-i much : [I]0-i have only [a father]1269-a father ; and [he]1269-a father is lately married , and will not miss [me]0-i . By dying young , [I]0-i shall escape great sufferings . [I]0-i had not qualities or talents to make [my]0-i way very well in [the world]484-the world : [I]0-i should have been continually at fault . " "[0-i] But where are [you]146-jane going to , [Helen]213-helen ? Can [you]146-jane see ? Do [you]146-jane know ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i believe ; [I]0-i have faith : [I]0-i am going to [God]180-mrs. fairfax . " "[180-mrs. fairfax] Where is [God]180-mrs. fairfax ? What is [God]180-mrs. fairfax ? " "[180-mrs. fairfax] [[My]0-i Maker and [yours]1272-yours , who will never destroy what [He]1269-a father created]1271-my maker and yours , who will never destroy what he created . [I]0-i rely implicitly on [His]1269-a father power , and confide wholly in [His]1269-a father goodness : [I]0-i count the hours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore [me]0-i to [Him]1269-a father , reveal [Him]1269-a father to [me]0-i . " "[146-jane] [You]146-jane are sure , then , [Helen]213-helen , that there is such [a place as heaven]1273-a place as heaven , and that [our]1274-our souls can get to it when [we]1274-our die ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am sure there is a future state ; [I]0-i believe [God]180-mrs. fairfax is good ; [I]0-i can resign [my]0-i immortal part to [Him]1269-a father without any misgiving . [God]180-mrs. fairfax is [[my]0-i father]682-my father ; [God]180-mrs. fairfax is [[my]0-i friend]4521-my friend : [I]0-i love [Him]1269-a father ; [I]0-i believe [He]1269-a father loves [me]0-i . " "[1269-a father] And shall [I]0-i see [you]0-i again , [Helen]213-helen , when [I]0-i die ? " "[0-i] [You]0-i will come to [the same region of happiness]1277-the same region of happiness : be received by [the same mighty , universal Parent]1278-the same mighty , universal parent , no doubt , [dear Jane]146-jane . " Again [I]146-jane questioned , but this time only in thought . "[146-jane] Where is [that region]1279-that region ? Does it exist ? " And [I]146-jane clasped [my]146-jane arms closer round [Helen]213-helen ; [she]213-helen seemed dearer to [me]146-jane than ever ; [I]146-jane felt as if [I]146-jane could not let [her]213-helen go ; [I]146-jane lay with [my]146-jane face hidden on [her]213-helen neck . Presently [she]213-helen said , in the sweetest tone - "[146-jane] How comfortable [I]0-i am ! That last fit of coughing has tired [me]0-i a little ; [I]0-i feel as if [I]0-i could sleep : but do n't leave [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ; [I]0-i like to have [you]146-jane near [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [I]0-i 'll stay with [you]146-jane , [DEAR Helen]235-dear helen : [no one]593-no one shall take [me]0-i away . " "[235-dear helen] Are [you]146-jane warm , [darling]1281-darling ? " "[235-dear helen] Yes . " "[235-dear helen] Good - night , [Jane]146-jane . " "[146-jane] Good - night , [Helen]235-dear helen . " [She]213-helen kissed [me]235-dear helen , and [I]235-dear helen [her]213-helen , and [we]4812-we both soon slumbered . When [I]235-dear helen awoke it was day : an unusual movement roused [me]235-dear helen ; [I]235-dear helen looked up ; [I]235-dear helen was in [somebody]4813-somebody 's arms ; [the nurse]510-the nurse held [me]235-dear helen ; [she]213-helen was carrying [me]235-dear helen through [the passage]4815-the passage back to [the dormitory]1246-the dormitory . [I]235-dear helen was not reprimanded for leaving [my]235-dear helen bed ; [people]4493-people had something else to think about ; no explanation was afforded then to [my]235-dear helen many questions ; but a day or two afterwards [I]235-dear helen learned that [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , on returning to [[her]201-miss temple own room]4818-her own room at dawn , had found [me]235-dear helen laid in [the little crib]4819-the little crib ; [my]235-dear helen face against [Helen Burns]213-helen 's shoulder , [my]235-dear helen arms round [her]213-helen neck . [I]235-dear helen was asleep , and [Helen]213-helen was - dead . [[Her]213-helen grave]4820-her grave is in [[Brocklebridge]42-brocklebridge churchyard]4821-brocklebridge churchyard : for fifteen years after [her]213-helen death it was only covered by a grassy mound ; but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot , inscribed with [her]213-helen name , and the word "[235-dear helen] Resurgam . " CHAPTER X Hitherto [I]235-dear helen have recorded in detail the events of [my]235-dear helen insignificant existence : to the first ten years of [my]235-dear helen life [I]235-dear helen have given almost as many chapters . But this is not to be a regular autobiography . [I]235-dear helen am only bound to invoke Memory where [I]235-dear helen know [her]213-helen responses will possess some degree of interest ; therefore [I]235-dear helen now pass a space of eight years almost in silence : a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of connection . When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at [Lowood]25-lowood , it gradually disappeared from thence ; but not till [its]25-lowood virulence and the number of [its]25-lowood victims had drawn public attention on [the school]4461-the school . Inquiry was made into the origin of the scourge , and by degrees various facts came out which excited public indignation in a high degree . The unhealthy nature of [the site]4823-the site ; the quantity and quality of [the children]645-the children 's food ; the brackish , fetid water used in its preparation ; [the pupils]4566-the pupils ' wretched clothing and accommodations - all these things were discovered , and the discovery produced a result mortifying to [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , but beneficial to [the institution]4826-the institution . [Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in [the county]4828-the county]4827-several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed largely for the erection of [a more convenient building]4829-a more convenient building in a better situation ; new regulations were made ; improvements in diet and clothing introduced ; the funds of [the school]4461-the school were intrusted to the management of a committee . [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , who , from [his]196-mr. brocklehurst wealth and family connections , could not be overlooked , still retained the post of [treasurer]4831-treasurer ; but [he]196-mr. brocklehurst was aided in the discharge of [his]196-mr. brocklehurst duties by [gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds]4832-gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds : [his]196-mr. brocklehurst office of [inspector]4833-inspector , too , was shared by [those who knew how to combine reason with strictness , comfort with economy , compassion with uprightness]4834-those who knew how to combine reason with strictness , comfort with economy , compassion with uprightness . [The school]4461-the school , thus improved , became in time [a truly useful and noble institution]4836-a truly useful and noble institution . [I]235-dear helen remained [an inmate of [its]4461-the school walls]4837-an inmate of its walls , after [its]4461-the school regeneration , for eight years : six as [pupil]4838-pupil , and two as [teacher]4839-teacher ; and in both capacities [I]235-dear helen bear [my]235-dear helen testimony to its value and importance . During these eight years [my]235-dear helen life was uniform : but not unhappy , because it was not inactive . [I]235-dear helen had the means of an excellent education placed within [my]235-dear helen reach ; a fondness for some of [my]235-dear helen studies , and a desire to excel in all , together with a great delight in pleasing [[my]235-dear helen teachers]4840-my teachers , especially such as [I]235-dear helen loved , urged [me]235-dear helen on : [I]235-dear helen availed [myself]235-dear helen fully of the advantages offered [me]235-dear helen . In time [I]235-dear helen rose to be [the first girl of the first class]4841-the first girl of the first class ; then [I]235-dear helen was invested with the office of [teacher]4839-teacher ; which [I]235-dear helen discharged with zeal for two years : but at the end of that time [I]235-dear helen altered . [Miss Temple]201-miss temple , through all changes , had thus far continued [superintendent of [the seminary]1166-the seminary]4843-superintendent of the seminary : to [her]201-miss temple instruction [I]235-dear helen owed the best part of [my]235-dear helen acquirements ; [her]201-miss temple friendship and society had been [my]235-dear helen continual solace ; [she]201-miss temple had stood [me]235-dear helen in the stead of [mother]4387-mother , [governess]4846-governess , and , latterly , [companion]4847-companion . At this period [she]201-miss temple married , removed with [[her]201-miss temple husband]620-her husband [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , [an excellent man]4850-an excellent man , almost worthy of [such a wife to [a distant county]4852-a distant county]4851-such a wife to a distant county , and consequently was lost to [me]235-dear helen . From the day [she]201-miss temple left [I]235-dear helen was no longer the same : with [her]201-miss temple was gone every settled feeling , every association that had made Lowood in some degree a home to [me]235-dear helen . [I]235-dear helen had imbibed from [her]201-miss temple something of [her]201-miss temple nature and much of [her]201-miss temple habits : more harmonious thoughts : what seemed better regulated feelings had become the inmates of [my]235-dear helen mind . [I]235-dear helen had given in allegiance to duty and order ; [I]235-dear helen was quiet ; [I]235-dear helen believed [I]235-dear helen was content : to the eyes of [others]1041-others , usually even to [my]235-dear helen own , [I]235-dear helen appeared a disciplined and subdued character . But destiny , in the shape of [the Rev. Mr. Nasmyth]236-the rev. mr. nasmyth , came between [me]235-dear helen and [Miss Temple]201-miss temple : [I]235-dear helen saw [her]201-miss temple in [her]201-miss temple travelling dress step into a post - chaise , shortly after the marriage ceremony ; [I]235-dear helen watched the chaise mount [the hill]4854-the hill and disappear beyond [its]4854-the hill brow ; and then retired to [[my]235-dear helen own room]4855-my own room , and there spent in solitude the greatest part of the half - holiday granted in honour of the occasion . [I]235-dear helen walked about [the chamber]4856-the chamber most of the time . [I]235-dear helen imagined [myself]235-dear helen only to be regretting [my]235-dear helen loss , and thinking how to repair it ; but when [my]235-dear helen reflections were concluded , and [I]235-dear helen looked up and found that the afternoon was gone , and evening far advanced , another discovery dawned on [me]235-dear helen , namely , that in the interval [I]235-dear helen had undergone a transforming process ; that [my]235-dear helen mind had put off all it had borrowed of [Miss Temple]201-miss temple - or rather that [she]201-miss temple had taken with [her]201-miss temple the serene atmosphere [I]235-dear helen had been breathing in [[her]201-miss temple vicinity]4857-her vicinity - and that now [I]235-dear helen was left in [my]235-dear helen natural element , and beginning to feel the stirring of old emotions . It did not seem as if a prop were withdrawn , but rather as if a motive were gone : it was not the power to be tranquil which had failed [me]235-dear helen , but the reason for tranquillity was no more . [[My]235-dear helen world]4858-my world had for some years been in [Lowood]25-lowood : [my]235-dear helen experience had been of its rules and systems ; now [I]235-dear helen remembered that [the real world]4859-the real world was wide , and that a varied field of hopes and fears , of sensations and excitements , awaited [those who had courage to go forth into [its]25-lowood expanse]4860-those who had courage to go forth into its expanse , to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils . [I]235-dear helen went to [my]235-dear helen window , opened it , and looked out . There were [the two wings of [the building]4536-the building]4861-the two wings of the building ; there was [the garden]4568-the garden ; there were [the skirts of [Lowood]25-lowood]4864-the skirts of lowood ; there was [the hilly horizon]4865-the hilly horizon . [My]235-dear helen eye passed all other objects to rest on those most remote , [the blue peaks]4866-the blue peaks ; it was those [I]235-dear helen longed to surmount ; all within [their]4866-the blue peaks boundary of [rock and heath]4867-rock and heath seemed prison - ground , exile limits . [I]235-dear helen traced [the white road]4868-the white road winding round the base of [one mountain]4869-one mountain , and vanishing in [a gorge between two]4870-a gorge between two ; how [I]235-dear helen longed to follow it farther ! [I]235-dear helen recalled the time when [I]235-dear helen had travelled [that very road]4871-that very road in [a coach]835-a coach ; [I]235-dear helen remembered descending [that hill]4873-that hill at twilight ; an age seemed to have elapsed since the day which brought [me]235-dear helen first to [Lowood]25-lowood , and [I]235-dear helen had never quitted it since . [My]235-dear helen vacations had all been spent at [school]537-school : [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed had never sent for [me]235-dear helen to [Gateshead]20-gateshead ; neither [she]156-mrs. reed nor [any of [[her]156-mrs. reed family]4876-her family]4875-any of her family had ever been to visit [me]235-dear helen . [I]235-dear helen had had no communication by letter or message with [the outer world]4877-the outer world : school - rules , school - duties , school - habits and notions , and voices , and faces , and phrases , and costumes , and preferences , and antipathies - such was what [I]235-dear helen knew of existence . And now [I]235-dear helen felt that it was not enough ; [I]235-dear helen tired of the routine of eight years in one afternoon . [I]235-dear helen desired liberty ; for liberty [I]235-dear helen gasped ; for liberty [I]235-dear helen uttered a prayer ; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing . [I]235-dear helen abandoned it and framed a humbler supplication ; for change , stimulus : that petition , too , seemed swept off into vague space : "[235-dear helen] Then , " [I]235-dear helen cried , half desperate , "[235-dear helen] grant [me]0-i at least a new servitude ! " Here a bell , ringing the hour of supper , called [me]235-dear helen [downstairs]1218-downstairs . [I]235-dear helen was not free to resume the interrupted chain of [my]235-dear helen reflections till bedtime : even then [a teacher who occupied [the same room]4880-the same room with [me]235-dear helen]4879-a teacher who occupied the same room with me kept [me]235-dear helen from the subject to which [I]235-dear helen longed to recur , by a prolonged effusion of small talk . How [I]235-dear helen wished sleep would silence [her]4879-a teacher who occupied the same room with me . It seemed as if , could [I]235-dear helen but go back to the idea which had last entered [my]235-dear helen mind as [I]235-dear helen stood at the window , some inventive suggestion would rise for [my]235-dear helen relief . [Miss Gryce]237-miss gryce snored at last ; [she]237-miss gryce was [a heavy Welshwoman]4881-a heavy welshwoman , and till now [her]237-miss gryce habitual nasal strains had never been regarded by [me]235-dear helen in any other light than as a nuisance ; to - night [I]235-dear helen hailed the first deep notes with satisfaction ; [I]235-dear helen was debarrassed of interruption ; [my]235-dear helen half - effaced thought instantly revived . "[235-dear helen] A new servitude ! There is something in that , " [I]0-i soliloquised mentally , be it understood ; [I]0-i did not talk aloud , "[0-i] [I]0-i know there is , because it does not sound too sweet ; it is not like such words as Liberty , Excitement , Enjoyment : delightful sounds truly ; but no more than sounds for [me]0-i ; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to listen to them . But Servitude ! That must be matter of fact . [Any one]591-any one may serve : [I]0-i have served [here]4312-here eight years ; now all [I]0-i want is to serve elsewhere . Can [I]0-i not get so much of [my]0-i own will ? Is not the thing feasible ? Yes - yes - the end is not so difficult ; if [I]0-i had only a brain active enough to ferret out the means of attaining it . " [I]0-i sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain : it was a chilly night ; [I]0-i covered [my]0-i shoulders with a shawl , and then [I]0-i proceeded TO THINK again with all [my]0-i might . "[0-i] What do [I]0-i want ? A new place , in [a new house]1284-a new house , amongst new faces , under new circumstances : [I]0-i want this because it is of no use wanting anything better . How do [people]4493-people do to get [a new place]1286-a new place ? [They]4493-people apply to [friends]1114-friends , [I]0-i suppose : [I]0-i have [no friends]1288-no friends . There are [many others who have [no friends]1288-no friends , who must look about for [themselves]1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers and be [their]1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers own helpers]1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers ; and what is [their]1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers resource ? " [I]1291-those who want situations advertise could not tell : nothing answered [me]1291-those who want situations advertise ; [I]1291-those who want situations advertise then ordered [my]1291-those who want situations advertise brain to find a response , and quickly . It worked and worked faster : [I]1291-those who want situations advertise felt the pulses throb in [my]1291-those who want situations advertise head and temples ; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos ; and no result came of its efforts . Feverish with vain labour , [I]1291-those who want situations advertise got up and took a turn in [the room]535-the room ; undrew the curtain , noted a star or two , shivered with cold , and again crept to bed . [A kind fairy]4883-a kind fairy , in [my]1291-those who want situations advertise absence , had surely dropped the required suggestion on [my]1291-those who want situations advertise pillow ; for as [I]1291-those who want situations advertise lay down , it came quietly and naturally to [my]1291-those who want situations advertise mind . - "[1291-those who want situations advertise] [Those who want situations advertise]1291-those who want situations advertise ; [you]1292-you must advertise in the -shire Herald . " "[1292-you] How ? [I]0-i know nothing about advertising . " [Replies]238-replies rose smooth and prompt now:- "[1292-you] [You]1292-you must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a cover directed to [the editor of the Herald]1293-the editor of the herald ; [you]1292-you must put it , the first opportunity [you]1292-you have , into the post at [Lowton]39-lowton ; answers must be addressed to [J.E.]239-j.e. , at [the post - office]1294-the post - office [there]4426-there ; [you]1292-you can go and inquire in about a week after [you]1292-you send [your]1292-you letter , if any are come , and act accordingly . " This scheme [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition went over twice , thrice ; it was then digested in [my]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition mind ; [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition had it in a clear practical form : [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition felt satisfied , and fell asleep . With earliest day , [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition was up : [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition had [my]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition advertisement written , enclosed , and directed before the bell rang to rouse [the school]4461-the school ; it ran thus:- "[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition] [A young lady accustomed to tuition]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition " had [I]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition not been [a teacher]4885-a teacher two years ? "[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition] is desirous of meeting with a situation in [a private family where [the children]645-the children]1297-a private family where the children are under fourteen [I]0-i thought that as [I]0-i was barely eighteen , it would not do to undertake the guidance of [pupils nearer [my]0-i own age]1299-pupils nearer my own age . [She]1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English education , together with French , Drawing , and Music " in those days , [reader]496-reader , this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments , would have been held tolerably comprehensive . "[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition] Address , J.E. , [Post - office]1300-post - office , [Lowton]39-lowton , -shire . " This document remained locked in [my]1302-i drawer all day : after tea , [I]1302-i asked leave of [the new superintendent]4887-the new superintendent to go to [Lowton]39-lowton , in order to perform some small commissions for [myself]1302-i and [one or two of [[my]1302-i fellow - teachers]4889-my fellow - teachers]4888-one or two of my fellow - teachers ; permission was readily granted ; [I]1302-i went . It was a walk of two miles , and the evening was wet , but the days were still long ; [I]1302-i visited [a shop or two]4890-a shop or two , slipped the letter into [the post - office]1294-the post - office , and came back through heavy rain , with streaming garments , but with a relieved heart . The succeeding week seemed long : it came to an end at last , however , like all sublunary things , and once more , towards the close of a pleasant autumn day , [I]1302-i found [myself]1302-i afoot on [the road]4892-the road to [Lowton]39-lowton . [A picturesque track]4893-a picturesque track [it]4893-a picturesque track was , by the way ; lying along the side of [the beck]4894-the beck and through [the sweetest curves of [the dale]4896-the dale]4895-the sweetest curves of the dale : but that day [I]1302-i thought more of the letters , that might or might not be awaiting [me]1302-i at [the little burgh whither [I]1302-i was bound]4897-the little burgh whither i was bound , than of the charms of lea and water . [My]1302-i ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of shoes ; so [I]1302-i discharged that business first , and when it was done , [I]1302-i stepped across [the clean and quiet little street]4898-the clean and quiet little street from [[the shoemaker]4899-the shoemaker 's]4900-the shoemaker 's to [the post - office]1294-the post - office : it was kept by [an old dame]4902-an old dame , who wore horn spectacles on [her]4902-an old dame nose , and black mittens on [her]4902-an old dame hands . "[1302-i] Are there any letters for [J.E.]239-j.e. ? " [I]1302-i asked . [She]4902-an old dame peered at [me]1302-i over [her]4902-an old dame spectacles , and then [she]4902-an old dame opened a drawer and fumbled among its contents for a long time , so long that [my]1302-i hopes began to falter . At last , having held a document before [her]4902-an old dame glasses for nearly five minutes , [she]4902-an old dame presented it across the counter , accompanying the act by another inquisitive and mistrustful glance - it was for [J.E.]239-j.e. "[1302-i] Is there only one ? " [I]1302-i demanded . "[1302-i] There are no more , " said [she]4902-an old dame ; and [I]1302-i put it in [my]1302-i pocket and turned [my]1302-i face homeward : [I]1302-i could not open it then ; rules obliged [me]1302-i to be back by eight , and it was already half - past seven . Various duties awaited [me]1302-i on [my]1302-i arrival . [I]1302-i had to sit with [the girls]890-the girls during [their]890-the girls hour of study ; then it was [my]1302-i turn to read prayers ; to see [them]890-the girls to bed : afterwards [I]1302-i supped with [the other teachers]4608-the other teachers . Even when [we]4905-we finally retired for the night , the inevitable [Miss Gryce]237-miss gryce was still [[my]1302-i companion]4906-my companion : [we]4905-we had only a short end of candle in [our]4905-we candlestick , and [I]1302-i dreaded lest [she]237-miss gryce should talk till it was all burnt out ; fortunately , however , the heavy supper [she]237-miss gryce had eaten produced a soporific effect : [she]237-miss gryce was already snoring before [I]1302-i had finished undressing . There still remained an inch of candle : [I]1302-i now took out [my]1302-i letter ; the seal was an initial F. ; [I]1302-i broke it ; the contents were brief . "[1302-i] If J.E. , who advertised in [the -shire Herald of last Thursday]1301-the -shire herald of last thursday , possesses the acquirements mentioned , and if [she]1302-i is in a position to give satisfactory references as to character and competency , a situation can be offered [her]1302-i where there is but [one pupil]1303-one pupil , [a little girl , under ten years of age]1304-a little girl , under ten years of age ; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum . [J.E.]239-j.e. is requested to send references , name , address , and all particulars to the direction:- " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [Thornfield]43-thornfield , near [Millcote]44-millcote , -shire . "[0-i] [I]0-i examined the document long : the writing was old - fashioned and rather uncertain , like that of [an elderly lady]1305-an elderly lady . This circumstance was satisfactory : a private fear had haunted [me]0-i , that in thus acting for [myself]0-i , and by [my]0-i own guidance , [I]0-i ran the risk of getting into some scrape ; and , above all things , [I]0-i wished the result of [my]0-i endeavours to be respectable , proper , en regle . [I]0-i now felt that [an elderly lady]1305-an elderly lady was no bad ingredient in the business [I]0-i had on hand . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ! [I]0-i saw [her]180-mrs. fairfax in a black gown and [widow]1307-widow 's cap ; frigid , perhaps , but not uncivil : a model of elderly English respectability . [Thornfield]43-thornfield ! that , doubtless , was the name of [[her]180-mrs. fairfax house]1308-her house : a neat orderly spot , [I]0-i was sure ; though [I]0-i failed in [my]0-i efforts to conceive a correct plan of [the premises]1309-the premises . [Millcote]44-millcote , [- shire]1310-- shire ; [I]0-i brushed up [my]0-i recollections of the map of [England]21-england , yes , [I]0-i saw it ; both [the shire]1311-the shire and [the town]1312-the town . -shire was seventy miles nearer [London]31-london than [the remote county where [I]0-i now resided]1313-the remote county where i now resided : that was a recommendation to [me]0-i . [I]0-i longed to go where there was life and movement : [Millcote]44-millcote was [a large manufacturing town]1314-a large manufacturing town on [the banks of [the A-]45-the a-]1315-the banks of the a- ; [a busy place]1316-a busy place enough , doubtless : so much the better ; it would be a complete change at least . Not that [my]0-i fancy was much captivated by the idea of long chimneys and clouds of smoke - " but , "[0-i] [I]0-i argued , " [Thornfield]43-thornfield will , probably , be a good way from [the town]1312-the town . "[0-i] Here the socket of the candle dropped , and the wick went out . Next day new steps were to be taken ; [my]0-i plans could no longer be confined to [my]0-i own breast ; [I]0-i must impart them in order to achieve [their]1317-their success . Having sought and obtained an audience of [the superintendent]4451-the superintendent during the noontide recreation , [I]0-i told [her]4451-the superintendent [I]0-i had a prospect of getting a new situation where the salary would be double what [I]0-i now received for at [Lowood]25-lowood [I]0-i only got 15 pounds per annum ; and requested [she]4451-the superintendent would break the matter for [me]0-i to [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , or [some of [the committee]1320-the committee]1319-some of the committee , and ascertain whether [they]1321-they would permit [me]0-i to mention [them]1321-they as references . [She]4451-the superintendent obligingly consented to act as [mediatrix]1322-mediatrix in the matter . The next day [she]4451-the superintendent laid the affair before [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , who said that [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed must be written to , as [she]156-mrs. reed was [[my]0-i natural guardian]1323-my natural guardian . A note was accordingly addressed to [that lady]1013-that lady , who returned for answer , that " [I]1013-that lady might do as [I]1013-that lady pleased : [she]156-mrs. reed had long relinquished all interference in [my]1013-that lady affairs . "[1013-that lady] This note went the round of [the committee]1320-the committee , and at last , after what appeared to [me]0-i most tedious delay , formal leave was given [me]0-i to better [my]0-i condition if [I]0-i could ; and an assurance added , that as [I]0-i had always conducted [myself]0-i well , both as [teacher]4839-teacher and [pupil]4838-pupil , at [Lowood]25-lowood , a testimonial of character and capacity , signed by [the inspectors of [that institution]1329-that institution]1328-the inspectors of that institution , should forthwith be furnished [me]0-i . This testimonial [I]0-i accordingly received in about a month , forwarded a copy of it to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , and got [that lady]1013-that lady 's reply , stating that [she]1013-that lady was satisfied , and fixing that day fortnight as the period for [my]0-i assuming the post of governess in [[her]1013-that lady house]1308-her house . [I]0-i now busied [myself]0-i in preparations : the fortnight passed rapidly . [I]0-i had not a very large wardrobe , though it was adequate to [my]0-i wants ; and the last day sufficed to pack [my]0-i trunk , - the same [I]0-i had brought with [me]0-i eight years ago from [Gateshead]20-gateshead . The box was corded , the card nailed on . In half - an - hour [the carrier]1332-the carrier was to call for it to take it to [Lowton]39-lowton , whither [I]0-i [myself]0-i was to repair at an early hour the next morning to meet [the coach]853-the coach . [I]0-i had brushed [my]0-i black stuff travelling - dress , prepared [my]0-i bonnet , gloves , and muff ; sought in all [my]0-i drawers to see that no article was left behind ; and now having nothing more to do , [I]0-i sat down and tried to rest . [I]0-i could not ; though [I]0-i had been on foot all day , [I]0-i could not now repose an instant ; [I]0-i was too much excited . A phase of [my]0-i life was closing to - night , a new one opening to - morrow : impossible to slumber in the interval ; [I]0-i must watch feverishly while the change was being accomplished . " [Miss]4359-miss , "[1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit] said [a servant who met [me]0-i in [the lobby]1335-the lobby , where [I]0-i was wandering like [a troubled spirit]1336-a troubled spirit]1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit , " [a person below wishes to see [you]0-i]4909-a person below wishes to see you . "[1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit] " [The carrier]1332-the carrier , no doubt , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought , and ran [downstairs]1218-downstairs without inquiry . [I]0-i was passing [the back - parlour]1338-the back - parlour or [[teachers]4452-teachers ' sitting - room]1340-teachers ' sitting - room , the door of which was half open , to go to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , when [some one]637-some one ran out - " It 's [her]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand , [I]637-some one am sure ! - [I]637-some one could have told [her]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand anywhere ! "[637-some one] cried [the individual who stopped [my]0-i progress and took [my]0-i hand]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand . [I]0-i looked : [I]0-i saw a woman attired like [a well - dressed servant , matronly , yet still young ; very good - looking , with black hair and eyes , and lively complexion]1344-a well - dressed servant , matronly , yet still young ; very good - looking , with black hair and eyes , and lively complexion . " Well , who is it ? "[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand] [she]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand asked , in a voice and with a smile [I]0-i half recognised ; " [you]0-i 've not quite forgotten [me]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand , [I]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand think , [Miss Jane]146-jane ? "[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand] In another second [I]0-i was embracing and kissing [her]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand rapturously : " [Bessie]195-bessie ! [Bessie]195-bessie ! [Bessie]195-bessie ! "[0-i] that was all [I]0-i said ; whereat [she]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand half laughed , half cried , and [we]1345-we both went into [the parlour]793-the parlour . By the fire stood [a little fellow of three years old]1347-a little fellow of three years old , in plaid frock and trousers . " That is [[my]195-bessie little boy]4911-my little boy , "[195-bessie] said [Bessie]195-bessie directly . " Then [you]195-bessie are married , [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " Yes ; nearly five years since to [Robert Leaven]240-robert , [the coachman]4912-the coachman ; and [I]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand 've [a little girl besides [Bobby]241-bobby]4913-a little girl besides bobby there , that [I]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand 've christened [Jane]146-jane . "[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand] " And [you]195-bessie do n't live at [Gateshead]20-gateshead ? "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie live at [the lodge]4914-the lodge : [the old porter]4915-the old porter has left . "[195-bessie] " Well , and how do [they]4916-they all get on ? Tell [me]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand everything about [them]4916-they , [Bessie]195-bessie : but sit down first ; and , [Bobby]241-bobby , come and sit on [my]1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand knee , will [you]195-bessie ? "[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand] but [Bobby]241-bobby preferred sidling over to [[his]241-bobby mother]544-his mother . " [You]195-bessie 're not grown so very tall , [Miss Jane]146-jane , nor so very stout , "[242-mrs. leaven] continued [Mrs. Leaven]242-mrs. leaven . " [I]242-mrs. leaven dare say [they]4916-they 've not kept [you]195-bessie too well at [school]537-school : [Miss Reed]243-jane is the head and shoulders taller than [you]195-bessie are ; and [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana would make two of [you]195-bessie in breadth . "[242-mrs. leaven] " [Georgiana]192-miss georgiana is handsome , [I]195-bessie suppose , [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " Very . [She]192-miss georgiana went up to [London]31-london last winter with [[her]192-miss georgiana mama]4460-her mama , and there [everybody]4413-everybody admired [her]192-miss georgiana , and [a young lord]4920-a young lord fell in love with [her]192-miss georgiana : but [his]4920-a young lord relations were against the match ; and - what do [you]195-bessie think ? - [he]4920-a young lord and [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana made it up to run away ; but [they]4921-they were found out and stopped . It was [Miss Reed]243-jane that found [them]4921-they out : [I]195-bessie believe [she]243-jane was envious ; and now [she]243-jane and [[her]243-jane sister]4922-her sister lead a cat and dog life together ; [they]4921-they are always quarrelling - "[195-bessie] " Well , and what of [John Reed]159-john ? "[242-mrs. leaven] " Oh , [he]159-john is not doing so well as [[his]159-john mama]538-his mama could wish . [He]159-john went to college , and [he]159-john got - plucked , [I]195-bessie think [they]4924-they call it : and then [[his]159-john uncles]4925-his uncles wanted [him]159-john to be [a barrister]4926-a barrister , and study the law : but [he]159-john is such [a dissipated young man]4927-a dissipated young man , [they]4924-they will never make much of [him]159-john , [I]195-bessie think . "[195-bessie] " What does [he]159-john look like ? "[195-bessie] " [He]159-john is very tall : [some people]4928-some people call [him]159-john [a fine - looking young man]4929-a fine - looking young man ; but [he]159-john has such thick lips . "[195-bessie] " And [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? "[242-mrs. leaven] " [Missis]178-missis looks stout and well enough in the face , but [I]195-bessie think [she]178-missis 's not quite easy in [her]178-missis mind : [Mr. John]177-st. john 's conduct does not please [her-]178-missis -he spends a deal of money . "[195-bessie] " Did [she]178-missis send [you]195-bessie here , [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " No , indeed : but [I]195-bessie have long wanted to see [you]195-bessie , and when [I]195-bessie heard that there had been a letter from [you]195-bessie , and that [you]195-bessie were going to [another part of [the country]4525-the country]4930-another part of the country , [I]195-bessie thought [I]195-bessie 'd just set off , and get a look at [you]195-bessie before [you]195-bessie were quite out of [my]195-bessie reach . "[195-bessie] " [I]0-i am afraid [you]195-bessie are disappointed in [me]0-i , [Bessie]195-bessie . "[0-i] [I]0-i said this laughing : [I]0-i perceived that [Bessie]195-bessie 's glance , though it expressed regard , did in no shape denote admiration . " No , [Miss Jane]243-jane , not exactly : [you]195-bessie are genteel enough ; [you]195-bessie look like [a lady]4932-a lady , and it is as much as ever [I]0-i expected of [you]195-bessie : [you]195-bessie were no beauty as [a child]4305-a child . "[0-i] [I]0-i smiled at [Bessie]195-bessie 's frank answer : [I]0-i felt that it was correct , but [I]0-i confess [I]0-i was not quite indifferent to its import : at eighteen most [people]4493-people wish to please , and the conviction that [they]4493-people have not an exterior likely to second that desire brings anything but gratification . " [I]195-bessie dare say [you]195-bessie are clever , though , "[195-bessie] continued [Bessie]195-bessie , by way of solace . " What can [you]195-bessie do ? Can [you]195-bessie play on the piano ? "[195-bessie] " A little . "[195-bessie] There was one in [the room]535-the room ; [Bessie]195-bessie went and opened it , and then asked [me]0-i to sit down and give [her]195-bessie a tune : [I]0-i played a waltz or two , and [she]195-bessie was charmed . " [The Miss Reeds]185-the reeds could not play as well ! "[195-bessie] said [she]195-bessie exultingly . " [I]195-bessie always said [you]195-bessie would surpass [them]185-the reeds in learning : and can [you]195-bessie draw ? "[195-bessie] " That is one of [my]4451-the superintendent paintings over the chimney - piece . "[4451-the superintendent] It was a landscape in water colours , of which [I]0-i had made a present to [the superintendent]4451-the superintendent , in acknowledgment of [her]195-bessie obliging mediation with [the committee on [my]0-i behalf]1352-the committee on my behalf , and which [she]195-bessie had framed and glazed . " Well , that is beautiful , [Miss Jane]243-jane ! It is as fine a picture as [any [Miss Reed]243-jane 's drawing - [master]4335-master]4934-any miss reed 's drawing - master could paint , let alone [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies [themselves]4509-the young ladies , who could not come near it : and have [you]195-bessie learnt French ? "[195-bessie] " Yes , [Bessie]195-bessie , [I]195-bessie can both read it and speak it . "[195-bessie] " And [you]195-bessie can work on muslin and canvas ? "[195-bessie] " [I]195-bessie can . "[195-bessie] " Oh , [you]195-bessie are quite [a lady]4932-a lady , [Miss Jane]243-jane ! [I]195-bessie knew [you]195-bessie would be : [you]195-bessie will get on whether [[your]195-bessie relations]4631-your relations notice [you]195-bessie or not . There was something [I]195-bessie wanted to ask [you]195-bessie . Have [you]195-bessie ever heard anything from [[your]195-bessie father]4318-your father 's kinsfolk , [the Eyres]244-the eyres ? "[195-bessie] " Never in [my]195-bessie life . "[195-bessie] " Well , [you]195-bessie know [Missis]178-missis always said [they]244-the eyres were poor and quite despicable : and [they]244-the eyres may be poor ; but [I]195-bessie believe [they]244-the eyres are as much gentry as [the Reeds]185-the reeds are ; for one day , nearly seven years ago , [a Mr. Eyre]245-madeira came to [Gateshead]20-gateshead and wanted to see [you]195-bessie ; [Missis]178-missis said [you]195-bessie were it school fifty miles off ; [he]245-madeira seemed so much disappointed , for [he]245-madeira could not stay : [he]245-madeira was going on a voyage to [a foreign country]4940-a foreign country , and [the ship]4941-the ship was to sail from [London]31-london in a day or two . [He]245-madeira looked quite [a gentleman]638-a gentleman , and [I]195-bessie believe [he]245-madeira was [[[your]195-bessie father]4318-your father 's brother]4944-your father 's brother . "[195-bessie] " What [foreign country]4945-foreign country was [he]245-madeira going to , [Bessie]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] " [An island thousands of miles off , where [they]4947-they make wine]4946-an island thousands of miles off , where they make wine - [the butler]4948-the butler did tell [me]195-bessie - "[195-bessie] " [Madeira]245-madeira ? "[0-i] [I]0-i suggested . " Yes , that is it - that is the very word . "[0-i] " So [he]245-madeira went ? "[195-bessie] " Yes ; [he]245-madeira did not stay many minutes in [the house]4322-the house : [Missis]178-missis was very high with [him]245-madeira ; [she]178-missis called [him]245-madeira afterwards a ' [sneaking tradesman]4950-sneaking tradesman . ' [[My]195-bessie [Robert]240-robert]4951-my robert believes [he]245-madeira was [a wine - merchant]4952-a wine - merchant . "[195-bessie] " Very likely , "[0-i] [I]0-i returned ; " or perhaps [clerk]4953-clerk or agent to [a wine - merchant]4952-a wine - merchant . "[195-bessie] [Bessie]195-bessie and [I]0-i conversed about old times an hour longer , and then [she]195-bessie was obliged to leave [me]0-i : [I]0-i saw [her]195-bessie again for a few minutes the next morning at [Lowton]39-lowton , while [I]0-i was waiting for [the coach]853-the coach . [We]1354-we parted finally at the door of [the Brocklehurst Arms]47-the brocklehurst arms there : each went [her]195-bessie separate way ; [she]195-bessie set off for [the brow of [Lowood]25-lowood]1355-the brow of lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take [her]195-bessie back to [Gateshead]20-gateshead , [I]0-i mounted [the vehicle]1356-the vehicle which was to bear [me]0-i to new duties and a new life in [the unknown environs of [Millcote]44-millcote]1357-the unknown environs of millcote . CHAPTER XI A new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play ; and when [I]0-i draw up the curtain this time , [reader]496-reader , [you]496-reader must fancy [you]496-reader see [a room in [the George Inn]48-the george inn at [Millcote]44-millcote]1359-a room in the george inn at millcote , with such large figured papering on the walls as [inn rooms]1360-inn rooms have ; such a carpet , such furniture , such ornaments on the mantelpiece , such prints , including a portrait of [George the Third]246-george the third , and another of [the Prince of [Wales]49-wales]1361-the prince of wales , and a representation of the death of [Wolfe]247-wolfe . All this is visible to [you]496-reader by the light of an oil lamp hanging from the ceiling , and by that of an excellent fire , near which [I]0-i sit in [my]0-i cloak and bonnet ; [my]0-i muff and umbrella lie on the table , and [I]0-i am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen hours ' exposure to the rawness of an October day : [I]0-i left [Lowton]39-lowton at four o'clock a.m. , and the [Millcote]44-millcote town clock is now just striking eight . Reader , though [I]0-i look comfortably accommodated , [I]0-i am not very tranquil in [my]0-i mind . [I]0-i thought when [the coach]853-the coach stopped here there would be some one to meet [me]0-i ; [I]0-i looked anxiously round as [I]0-i descended the wooden steps the " boots "[0-i] placed for [my]0-i convenience , expecting to hear [my]0-i name pronounced , and to see some description of [carriage]1363-carriage waiting to convey [me]0-i to [Thornfield]43-thornfield . Nothing of the sort was visible ; and when [I]0-i asked [a waiter]1364-a waiter if [any one]591-any one had been to inquire after [a Miss Eyre]146-jane , [I]0-i was answered in the negative : so [I]0-i had no resource but to request to be shown into [a private room]1366-a private room : and here [I]0-i am waiting , while all sorts of doubts and fears are troubling [my]0-i thoughts . It is a very strange sensation to [inexperienced youth]1367-inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in [the world]484-the world , cut adrift from every connection , uncertain whether [the port to which it is bound]1369-the port to which it is bound can be reached , and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted . The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation , the glow of pride warms it ; but then the throb of fear disturbs it ; and fear with [me]0-i became predominant when half - an - hour elapsed and still [I]0-i was alone . [I]0-i bethought [myself]0-i to ring the bell . " Is there [a place in [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood called [Thornfield]43-thornfield]4955-a place in this neighbourhood called thornfield ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked of [the waiter who answered the summons]1370-the waiter who answered the summons . " [Thornfield]43-thornfield ? [I]1370-the waiter who answered the summons do n't know , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ; [I]1370-the waiter who answered the summons 'll inquire at [the bar]4958-the bar . "[1370-the waiter who answered the summons] [He]1370-the waiter who answered the summons vanished , but reappeared instantly - " Is [your]1370-the waiter who answered the summons name [Eyre]146-jane , [Miss]4959-miss ? "[1370-the waiter who answered the summons] " Yes . "[1370-the waiter who answered the summons] " Person here waiting for [you]0-i . "[0-i] [I]0-i jumped up , took [my]0-i muff and umbrella , and hastened into [the inn- passage]1371-the inn- passage : [a man]4429-a man was standing by the open door , and in [the lamp - lit street]1373-the lamp - lit street [I]0-i dimly saw [a one - horse conveyance]1374-a one - horse conveyance . " This will be [your]0-i luggage , [I]1375-the man suppose ? "[1375-the man] said [the man]1375-the man rather abruptly when [he]1375-the man saw [me]0-i , pointing to [my]0-i trunk in [the passage]4815-the passage . " Yes . "[1375-the man] [He]1375-the man hoisted [it]1374-a one - horse conveyance on to [the vehicle]1356-the vehicle , which was [a sort of car]1378-a sort of car , and then [I]0-i got in ; before [he]1375-the man shut [me]0-i up , [I]0-i asked [him]1375-the man how far it was to [Thornfield]43-thornfield . " A matter of six miles . "[0-i] " How long shall [we]1379-we be before [we]1379-we get [there]4426-there ? "[1375-the man] " Happen an hour and a half . "[1375-the man] [He]1375-the man fastened the car door , climbed to [his]1375-the man own seat outside , and [we]1379-we set off . [Our]1379-we progress was leisurely , and gave [me]0-i ample time to reflect ; [I]0-i was content to be at length so near the end of [my]0-i journey ; and as [I]0-i leaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance , [I]0-i meditated much at [my]0-i ease . " [I]0-i suppose , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " judging from the plainness of [the servant]4539-the servant and [carriage]1363-carriage , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax is not [a very dashing person]4963-a very dashing person : so much the better ; [I]0-i never lived amongst [fine people]4964-fine people but once , and [I]0-i was very miserable with [them]4964-fine people . [I]0-i wonder if [she]180-mrs. fairfax lives alone except [this little girl]4450-this little girl ; if so , and if [she]180-mrs. fairfax is in any degree amiable , [I]0-i shall surely be able to get on with [her]180-mrs. fairfax ; [I]0-i will do [my]0-i best ; it is a pity that doing [one]4415-one 's best does not always answer . At [Lowood]25-lowood , indeed , [I]0-i took that resolution , kept it , and succeeded in pleasing ; but with [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , [I]0-i remember [my]0-i best was always spurned with scorn . [I]0-i pray [God Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax may not turn out a second [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ; but if [she]180-mrs. fairfax does , [I]0-i am not bound to stay with [her]180-mrs. fairfax ! let the worst come to the worst , [I]0-i can advertise again . How far are [we]1380-we on [[our]1380-we road]4967-our road now , [I]0-i wonder ? "[0-i] [I]0-i let down the window and looked out ; [Millcote]44-millcote was behind [us]1380-we ; judging by the number of [its]44-millcote lights , [it]44-millcote seemed [a place of considerable magnitude , much larger than [Lowton]39-lowton]1381-a place of considerable magnitude , much larger than lowton . [We]1380-we were now , as far as [I]0-i could see , on [a sort of common]1382-a sort of common ; but there were [houses]665-houses scattered all over [the district]1384-the district ; [I]0-i felt [we]1380-we were in [a different region to [Lowood]25-lowood]1385-a different region to lowood , [more populous , less picturesque]1386-more populous , less picturesque ; more stirring , less romantic . [The roads]1387-the roads were heavy , the night misty ; [[my]0-i conductor]1388-my conductor let [his]1388-my conductor horse walk all the way , and the hour and a half extended , [I]0-i verily believe , to two hours ; at last [he]1388-my conductor turned in [his]1388-my conductor seat and said - " [You]0-i 're noan so far fro ' [Thornfield]43-thornfield now . "[1388-my conductor] Again [I]0-i looked out : [we]1380-we were passing [a church]1389-a church ; [I]0-i saw [its]1389-a church low broad tower against the sky , and its bell was tolling a quarter ; [I]0-i saw a narrow galaxy of lights too , on [a hillside]1390-a hillside , marking [a village]1391-a village or [hamlet]1392-hamlet . About ten minutes after , [the driver]1393-the driver got down and opened a pair of gates : [we]1380-we passed through , and [they]1394-they clashed to behind [us]1380-we . [We]1380-we now slowly ascended [a drive]1395-a drive , and came upon the long front of [a house]4534-a house : candlelight gleamed from one curtained bow - window ; all the rest were dark . [The car]1397-the car stopped at the front door ; it was opened by [a maid - servant]1398-a maid - servant ; [I]0-i alighted and went in . " Will [you]0-i walk this way , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ? "[982-the girl] said [the girl]982-the girl ; and [I]0-i followed [her]982-the girl across [a square hall with high doors all round]1400-a square hall with high doors all round : [she]982-the girl ushered [me]0-i into [a room whose double illumination of fire and candle]1401-a room whose double illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled [me]0-i , contrasting as it did with the darkness to which [my]0-i eyes had been for two hours inured ; when [I]0-i could see , however , a cosy and agreeable picture presented itself to [my]0-i view . [A snug small room]1402-a snug small room ; a round table by a cheerful fire ; an arm - chair high - backed and old - fashioned , wherein sat [the neatest imaginable little elderly lady]1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady , in [widow]1307-widow 's cap , black silk gown , and snowy muslin apron ; exactly like what [I]0-i had fancied [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , only less stately and milder looking . [She]1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady was occupied in knitting ; a large cat sat demurely at [her]1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady feet ; nothing in short was wanting to complete the beau - ideal of domestic comfort . A more reassuring introduction for [a new governess]1405-a new governess could scarcely be conceived ; there was no grandeur to overwhelm , no stateliness to embarrass ; and then , as [I]0-i entered , [the old lady]1406-the old lady got up and promptly and kindly came forward to meet [me]0-i . " How do [you]0-i do , [[my]1406-the old lady dear]4468-my dear ? [I]1406-the old lady am afraid [you]0-i have had a tedious ride ; [John]177-st. john drives so slowly ; [you]0-i must be cold , come to the fire . "[1406-the old lady] " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [I]0-i suppose ? "[0-i] said [I.]0-i " Yes , [you]180-mrs. fairfax are right : do sit down . "[1406-the old lady] [She]1406-the old lady conducted [me]0-i to [her]1406-the old lady own chair , and then began to remove [my]0-i shawl and untie [my]0-i bonnet - strings ; [I]0-i begged [she]1406-the old lady would not give [herself]1406-the old lady so much trouble . " Oh , it is no trouble ; [I]1406-the old lady dare say [your]0-i own hands are almost numbed with cold . [Leah]195-bessie , make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two : here are the keys of [the storeroom]4970-the storeroom . "[1406-the old lady] And [she]1406-the old lady produced from [her]1406-the old lady pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys , and delivered them to [the servant]4539-the servant . " Now , then , draw nearer to the fire , "[1406-the old lady] [she]1406-the old lady continued . " [You]195-bessie 've brought [your]195-bessie luggage with [you]195-bessie , have n't [you]195-bessie , [[my]1406-the old lady dear]4468-my dear ? "[1406-the old lady] " Yes , [ma'am]4353-ma'am . "[1406-the old lady] " [I]1406-the old lady 'll see it carried into [[your]195-bessie room]4973-your room , "[1406-the old lady] [she]1406-the old lady said , and bustled out . " [She]1406-the old lady treats [me]1406-the old lady like [a visitor]4974-a visitor , "[1406-the old lady] thought [I.]1408-i. " [I]1406-the old lady little expected such a reception ; [I]1406-the old lady anticipated only coldness and stiffness : this is not like what [I]1406-the old lady have heard of the treatment of [governesses]4975-governesses ; but [I]1406-the old lady must not exult too soon . "[1406-the old lady] [She]1406-the old lady returned ; with [her]1406-the old lady own hands cleared [her]1406-the old lady knitting apparatus and a book or two from the table , to make room for the tray which [Leah]195-bessie now brought , and then [herself]1406-the old lady handed [me]0-i the refreshments . [I]0-i felt rather confused at being the object of more attention than [I]0-i had ever before received , and , that too , shown by [[my]0-i employer]1409-my employer and [superior]1410-superior ; but as [she]1406-the old lady did not [herself]1406-the old lady seem to consider [she]1406-the old lady was doing anything out of [her]1406-the old lady place , [I]0-i thought it better to take [her]1406-the old lady civilities quietly . " Shall [I]0-i have the pleasure of seeing [Miss Fairfax]248-miss fairfax to - night ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked , when [I]0-i had partaken of what [she]1406-the old lady offered [me]0-i . " What did [you]0-i say , [[my]1411-the good lady dear]4468-my dear ? [I]1411-the good lady am a little deaf , "[1411-the good lady] returned [the good lady]1411-the good lady , approaching [her]1411-the good lady ear to [my]0-i mouth . [I]0-i repeated the question more distinctly . " [Miss Fairfax]248-miss fairfax ? Oh , [you]0-i mean [Miss Varens]249-miss varens ! [Varens]249-miss varens is the name of [[your]0-i future pupil]4977-your future pupil . "[0-i] " Indeed ! Then [she]248-miss fairfax is not [[your]0-i daughter]4978-your daughter ? "[0-i] " No , - [I]0-i have [no family]4979-no family . "[0-i] [I]0-i should have followed up [my]0-i first inquiry , by asking in what way [Miss Varens]249-miss varens was connected with [her]249-miss varens ; but [I]0-i recollected it was not polite to ask too many questions : besides , [I]0-i was sure to hear in time . " [I]249-miss varens am so glad , "[249-miss varens] [she]249-miss varens continued , as [she]249-miss varens sat down opposite to [me]0-i , and took the cat on [her]249-miss varens knee ; " [I]249-miss varens am so glad [you]0-i are come ; it will be quite pleasant living [here]4312-here now with [a companion]1021-a companion . To be sure it is pleasant at any time ; for [Thornfield]43-thornfield is [a fine old hall]4982-a fine old hall , rather neglected of late years perhaps , but still [it]43-thornfield is [a respectable place]4983-a respectable place ; yet [you]0-i know in winter - time one feels dreary quite alone in [the best quarters]4984-the best quarters . [I]249-miss varens say alone - [Leah]195-bessie is [a nice girl]4985-a nice girl to be sure , and [John]177-st. john and [[his]177-st. john wife]4986-his wife are [very decent people]4987-very decent people ; but then [you]0-i see [they]4988-them are only [servants]4989-servants , and one ca n't converse with [them]4988-them on terms of equality : [one]4415-one must keep [them]4988-them at due distance , for fear of losing [one]4415-one 's authority . [I]249-miss varens 'm sure last winter it was a very severe one , if [you]0-i recollect , and when it did not snow , it rained and blew , not a creature but [the butcher and postman]4992-the butcher and postman came to [the house]4322-the house , from November till February ; and [I]249-miss varens really got quite melancholy with sitting night after night alone ; [I]249-miss varens had [Leah]195-bessie in to read to [me]249-miss varens sometimes ; but [I]249-miss varens do n't think [the poor girl]4994-the poor girl liked the task much : [she]4994-the poor girl felt it confining . In spring and summer [one]4415-one got on better : sunshine and long days make such a difference ; and then , just at the commencement of this autumn , little [Adela Varens]250-adela varens came and [[her]250-adela varens nurse]4996-her nurse : [a child]4305-a child makes [a house]4534-a house alive all at once ; and now [you]0-i are here [I]249-miss varens shall be quite gay . "[249-miss varens] [My]0-i heart really warmed to [the worthy lady]1412-the worthy lady as [I]0-i heard [her]1412-the worthy lady talk ; and [I]0-i drew [my]0-i chair a little nearer to [her]1412-the worthy lady , and expressed [my]0-i sincere wish that [she]1412-the worthy lady might find [my]0-i company as agreeable as [she]1412-the worthy lady anticipated . " But [I]1412-the worthy lady 'll not keep [you]0-i sitting up late to - night , "[1412-the worthy lady] said [she]1412-the worthy lady ; " it is on the stroke of twelve now , and [you]0-i have been travelling all day : [you]0-i must feel tired . If [you]0-i have got [your]0-i feet well warmed , [I]1412-the worthy lady 'll show [you]0-i [[your]0-i bedroom]4999-your bedroom . [I]1412-the worthy lady 've had [the room next to [mine]1412-the worthy lady prepared for [you]0-i]5000-the room next to mine prepared for you ; [it]5000-the room next to mine prepared for you is only [a small apartment]5001-a small apartment , but [I]1412-the worthy lady thought [you]0-i would like [it]5000-the room next to mine prepared for you better than one of [the large front chambers]5002-the large front chambers : to be sure [they]5002-the large front chambers have finer furniture , but [they]5002-the large front chambers are so dreary and solitary , [I]1412-the worthy lady never sleep in [them]5002-the large front chambers [myself]1412-the worthy lady . "[1412-the worthy lady] [I]0-i thanked [her]1413-her for [her]1413-her considerate choice , and as [I]0-i really felt fatigued with [my]0-i long journey , expressed [my]0-i readiness to retire . [She]1413-her took [her]1413-her candle , and [I]0-i followed [her]1413-her from [the room]535-the room . First [she]1413-her went to see if the hall - door was fastened ; having taken the key from the lock , [she]1413-her led the way [upstairs]552-upstairs . The steps and banisters were of oak ; the staircase window was high and latticed ; both [it]1416-it and the long gallery into which the bedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged to [a church]1389-a church rather than [a house]4534-a house . A very chill and vault - like air pervaded the stairs and gallery , suggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude ; and [I]0-i was glad , when finally ushered into [[my]0-i chamber]1419-my chamber , to find [it]1419-my chamber of small dimensions , and furnished in ordinary , modern style . When [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had bidden [me]0-i a kind good - night , and [I]0-i had fastened [my]0-i door , gazed leisurely round , and in some measure effaced the eerie impression made by [that wide hall]1420-that wide hall , that dark and spacious staircase , and [that long , cold gallery]1421-that long , cold gallery , by the livelier aspect of [[my]0-i little room]1422-my little room , [I]0-i remembered that , after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety , [I]0-i was now at last in [safe haven]1423-safe haven . The impulse of gratitude swelled [my]0-i heart , and [I]0-i knelt down at the bedside , and offered up thanks where thanks were due ; not forgetting , ere [I]0-i rose , to implore aid on [my]0-i further path , and the power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered [me]0-i before it was earned . [[My]0-i couch]1424-my couch had no thorns in it that night ; [[my]0-i solitary room]1425-my solitary room no fears . At once weary and content , [I]0-i slept soon and soundly : when [I]0-i awoke it was broad day . [The chamber]4856-the chamber looked such a bright little place to [me]0-i as the sun shone in between the gay blue chintz window curtains , showing papered walls and a carpeted floor , so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood , that [my]0-i spirits rose at the view . Externals have a great effect on [the young]1427-the young : [I]0-i thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for [me]0-i , one that was to have its flowers and pleasures , as well as its thorns and toils . [My]0-i faculties , roused by the change of scene , the new field offered to hope , seemed all astir . [I]0-i can not precisely define what [they]1428-they expected , but it was something pleasant : not perhaps that day or that month , but at an indefinite future period . [I]0-i rose ; [I]0-i dressed [myself]0-i with care : obliged to be plain - for [I]0-i had no article of attire that was not made with extreme simplicity - [I]0-i was still by nature solicitous to be neat . It was not [my]0-i habit to be disregardful of appearance or careless of the impression [I]0-i made : on the contrary , [I]0-i ever wished to look as well as [I]0-i could , and to please as much as [my]0-i want of beauty would permit . [I]0-i sometimes regretted that [I]0-i was not handsomer ; [I]0-i sometimes wished to have rosy cheeks , a straight nose , and small cherry mouth ; [I]0-i desired to be tall , stately , and finely developed in figure ; [I]0-i felt it a misfortune that [I]0-i was so little , so pale , and had features so irregular and so marked . And why had [I]0-i these aspirations and these regrets ? It would be difficult to say : [I]0-i could not then distinctly say it to [myself]0-i ; yet [I]0-i had a reason , and a logical , natural reason too . However , when [I]0-i had brushed [my]0-i hair very smooth , and put on [my]0-i black frock - which , Quakerlike as it was , at least had the merit of fitting to a nicety - and adjusted [my]0-i clean white tucker , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i should do respectably enough to appear before [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , and that [[my]0-i new pupil]1429-my new pupil would not at least recoil from [me]0-i with antipathy . Having opened [my]0-i chamber window , and seen that [I]0-i left all things straight and neat on the toilet table , [I]0-i ventured forth . Traversing [the long and matted gallery]1430-the long and matted gallery , [I]0-i descended [the slippery steps of oak]1431-the slippery steps of oak ; then [I]0-i gained [the hall]608-the hall : [I]0-i halted there a minute ; [I]0-i looked at some pictures on the walls one , [I]0-i remember , represented [a grim man in a cuirass]1433-a grim man in a cuirass , and one [a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace]1434-a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace , at a bronze lamp pendent from the ceiling , at a great clock whose case was of oak curiously carved , and ebon black with time and rubbing . Everything appeared very stately and imposing to [me]0-i ; but then [I]0-i was so little accustomed to grandeur . [The hall]608-the hall - door , which was half of glass , stood open ; [I]0-i stepped over the threshold . It was a fine autumn morning ; the early sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and [still green fields]1436-still green fields ; advancing on to [the lawn]633-the lawn , [I]0-i looked up and surveyed the front of [the mansion]568-the mansion . [It]568-the mansion was three storeys high , of proportions not vast , though considerable : [[a gentleman]638-a gentleman 's manor - house]1440-a gentleman 's manor - house , not [[a nobleman]1441-a nobleman 's seat]1442-a nobleman 's seat : battlements round the top gave [it]568-the mansion a picturesque look . [Its]568-the mansion grey front stood out well from the background of [a rookery]1443-a rookery , whose cawing [tenants]1444-tenants were now on the wing : [they]1444-tenants flew over [the lawn and grounds]1445-the lawn and grounds to alight in [a great meadow]1446-a great meadow , from which [these were separated by a sunk fence]1447-these were separated by a sunk fence , and where an array of mighty old thorn trees , strong , knotty , and broad as oaks , at once explained the etymology of [the mansion]568-the mansion 's designation . Farther off were [hills]1449-hills : not so lofty as those round [Lowood]25-lowood , nor so craggy , nor so like barriers of separation from [the living world]1450-the living world ; but yet quiet and lonely hills enough , and seeming to embrace [Thornfield]43-thornfield with a seclusion [I]0-i had not expected to find existent so near [the stirring locality of [Millcote]44-millcote]1451-the stirring locality of millcote . [A little hamlet]1452-a little hamlet , whose roofs were blent with trees , straggled up [the side of [one of these hills]1454-one of these hills]1453-the side of one of these hills ; [the church of [the district]1384-the district]1455-the church of the district stood nearer [Thornfield]43-thornfield : [its]1455-the church of the district old tower - top looked over [a knoll between [the house]4322-the house and gates]1457-a knoll between the house and gates . [I]0-i was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh air , yet listening with delight to the cawing of [the rooks]1459-the rooks , yet surveying the wide , hoary front of [the hall]608-the hall , and thinking what a great place [it]1461-it was for [one lonely little dame like [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax]1462-one lonely little dame like mrs. fairfax to inhabit , when [that lady]1013-that lady appeared at the door . " What ! out already ? "[1013-that lady] said [she]1013-that lady . " [I]1013-that lady see [you]0-i are [an early riser]5003-an early riser . "[1013-that lady] [I]0-i went up to [her]1013-that lady , and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand . " How do [you]0-i like [Thornfield]43-thornfield ? "[1013-that lady] [she]1013-that lady asked . [I]0-i told [her]1013-that lady [I]0-i liked [it]1464-it very much . " Yes , "[1013-that lady] [she]1013-that lady said , " [it]1464-it is [a pretty place]5004-a pretty place ; but [I]1013-that lady fear [it]1464-it will be getting out of order , unless [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester should take it into [his]251-mr. rochester head to come and reside [here]4312-here permanently ; or , at least , visit [it]1464-it rather oftener : [great houses]5006-great houses and [fine grounds]5007-fine grounds require the presence of [the proprietor]5008-the proprietor . "[1013-that lady] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ! "[0-i] [I]0-i exclaimed . " Who is [he]251-mr. rochester ? "[0-i] " [The owner of [Thornfield]43-thornfield]5009-the owner of thornfield , "[1013-that lady] [she]1013-that lady responded quietly . " Did [you]0-i not know [he]1465-he was called [Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? "[1013-that lady] Of course [I]0-i did not - [I]0-i had never heard of [him]1465-he before ; but [the old lady]1406-the old lady seemed to regard [his]1465-he existence as a universally understood fact , with which [everybody]4413-everybody must be acquainted by instinct . " [I]0-i thought , "[0-i] [I]0-i continued , " [Thornfield]43-thornfield belonged to [you]1013-that lady . "[0-i] " To [me]1406-the old lady ? Bless [you]0-i , [child]4354-child ; what an idea ! To [me]1406-the old lady ! [I]1406-the old lady am only [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper - [the manager]5012-the manager . To be sure [I]1406-the old lady am distantly related to [the Rochesters]253-the rochesters by [the mother]542-the mother 's side , or at least [[my]1406-the old lady husband]5014-my husband was ; [he]5014-my husband was [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , [incumbent of [Hay]51-hay]5016-incumbent of hay - [that little village yonder]5017-that little village yonder on [the hill]4854-the hill - and [that church near the gates]5019-that church near the gates was [his]5014-my husband . [[The present Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's mother]5020-the present mr. rochester 's mother was [a Fairfax]5021-a fairfax , and [second cousin to [[my]1406-the old lady husband]5014-my husband]5022-second cousin to my husband : but [I]1406-the old lady never presume on the connection - in fact , it is nothing to [me]1406-the old lady ; [I]1406-the old lady consider [myself]1406-the old lady quite in the light of [an ordinary housekeeper]5024-an ordinary housekeeper : [[my]1406-the old lady employer]1409-my employer is always civil , and [I]1406-the old lady expect nothing more . "[1406-the old lady] " And [the little girl]5026-the little girl - [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil ! "[0-i] " [She]5026-the little girl is [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's ward]5028-mr. rochester 's ward ; [he]251-mr. rochester commissioned [me]1406-the old lady to find [a governess]5029-a governess for [her]5026-the little girl . [He]251-mr. rochester intended to have [her]5026-the little girl brought up in -shire , [I]1406-the old lady believe . Here [she]5026-the little girl comes , with [her]5026-the little girl ' bonne , ' as [she]5026-the little girl calls [[her]5026-the little girl nurse]4996-her nurse . "[1406-the old lady] The enigma then was explained : [this affable and kind little widow]1468-this affable and kind little widow was [no great dame]1469-no great dame ; but [a dependant like [myself]0-i]1470-a dependant like myself . [I]0-i did not like [her]1468-this affable and kind little widow the worse for that ; on the contrary , [I]0-i felt better pleased than ever . The equality between [her]1468-this affable and kind little widow and [me]0-i was real ; not the mere result of condescension on [her]1468-this affable and kind little widow part : so much the better - [my]0-i position was all the freer . As [I]0-i was meditating on this discovery , [a little girl]1471-a little girl , followed by [[her]1471-a little girl attendant]1472-her attendant , came running up [the lawn]633-the lawn . [I]0-i looked at [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil , who did not at first appear to notice [me]0-i : [she]5027-my pupil was quite [a child , perhaps seven or eight years old]1475-a child , perhaps seven or eight years old , slightly built , with a pale , small - featured face , and a redundancy of hair falling in curls to [her]5027-my pupil waist . " Good morning , [Miss Adela]254-miss adela , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . " Come and speak to [the lady who is to teach [you]0-i]5031-the lady who is to teach you , and to make [you]0-i [a clever woman some day]5032-a clever woman some day . "[5027-my pupil] [She]5027-my pupil approached . " C'est le ma gouverante ! "[5027-my pupil] said [she]5027-my pupil , pointing to [me]0-i , and addressing [[her]5027-my pupil nurse]4996-her nurse ; who answered - " Mais oui , [certainement]5033-certainement . "[5027-my pupil] " Are [they]5034-they [foreigners]5035-foreigners ? "[0-i] [I]0-i inquired , amazed at hearing the French language . " [The nurse]510-the nurse is [a foreigner]5037-a foreigner , and [Adela]254-miss adela was born on [the Continent]52-the continent ; and , [I]0-i believe , never left it till within six months ago . When [she]254-miss adela first came [here]4312-here [she]254-miss adela could speak no English ; now [she]254-miss adela can make shift to talk it a little : [I]0-i do n't understand [her]254-miss adela , [she]254-miss adela mixes it so with French ; but [you]5039-you will make out [her]254-miss adela meaning very well , [I]0-i dare say . "[0-i] Fortunately [I]0-i had had the advantage of being taught French by [a French lady]1477-a french lady ; and as [I]0-i had always made a point of conversing with [Madame Pierrot]212-madame pierrot as often as [I]0-i could , and had besides , during the last seven years , learnt a portion of French by heart daily - applying [myself]0-i to take pains with [my]0-i accent , and imitating as closely as possible the pronunciation of [[my]0-i teacher]1478-my teacher , [I]0-i had acquired a certain degree of readiness and correctness in the language , and was not likely to be much at a loss with [Mademoiselle Adela]255-mademoiselle . [She]255-mademoiselle came and shook hand with [me]0-i when [she]255-mademoiselle heard that [I]0-i was [[her]255-mademoiselle governess]1479-her governess ; and as [I]0-i led [her]255-mademoiselle in to breakfast , [I]0-i addressed some phrases to [her]255-mademoiselle in [her]255-mademoiselle own tongue : [she]255-mademoiselle replied briefly at first , but after [we]1480-we were seated at the table , and [she]255-mademoiselle had examined [me]0-i some ten minutes with [her]255-mademoiselle large hazel eyes , [she]255-mademoiselle suddenly commenced chattering fluently . " Ah ! "[255-mademoiselle] cried [she]255-mademoiselle , in French , " [you]0-i speak [my]255-mademoiselle language as well as [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester does : [I]255-mademoiselle can talk to [you]0-i as [I]255-mademoiselle can to [him]251-mr. rochester , and so can [Sophie]256-sophie . [She]256-sophie will be glad : [nobody here]5040-nobody here understands [her]256-sophie : [Madame Fairfax]257-madame fairfax is all English . [Sophie]256-sophie is [[my]255-mademoiselle nurse]5041-my nurse ; [she]256-sophie came with [me]255-mademoiselle over [the sea]5042-the sea in [a great ship]5043-a great ship with a chimney that smoked - how it did smoke ! - and [I]255-mademoiselle was sick , and so was [Sophie]256-sophie , and so was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester lay down on a sofa in [a pretty room called [the salon]5045-the salon]5044-a pretty room called the salon , and [Sophie]256-sophie and [I]255-mademoiselle had little beds in [another place]5046-another place . [I]255-mademoiselle nearly fell out of mine ; it was like a shelf . And [Mademoiselle]255-mademoiselle - what is [your]255-mademoiselle name ? "[255-mademoiselle] " [Eyre]146-jane - [Jane Eyre]146-jane . "[255-mademoiselle] " [Aire]258-aire ? Bah ! [I]1481-i can not say it . Well , [[our]5047-we ship]5048-our ship stopped in the morning , before it was quite daylight , at [a great city]5049-a great city - [a huge city]5050-a huge city , with [very dark houses and all smoky]5051-very dark houses and all smoky ; not at all like [the pretty clean town]5052-the pretty clean town [I]1481-i came from ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester carried [me]1481-i in [his]251-mr. rochester arms over a plank to [the land]5053-the land , and [Sophie]256-sophie came after , and [we]5047-we all got into [a coach]835-a coach , which took [us]5047-we to [a beautiful large house , larger than this and finer , called [an hotel]5056-an hotel]5055-a beautiful large house , larger than this and finer , called an hotel . [We]5047-we stayed [there]4426-there nearly a week : [I]1481-i and [Sophie]256-sophie used to walk every day in [a great green place full of trees]5058-a great green place full of trees , called [the Park]5059-the park ; and there were [many children]5060-many children [there]4426-there besides [me]1481-i , and [a pond with beautiful birds in it]5062-a pond with beautiful birds in it , that [I]1481-i fed with crumbs . "[1481-i] " Can [you]0-i understand [her]1481-i when [she]1481-i runs on so fast ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] asked [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . [I]0-i understood [her]1481-i very well , for [I]0-i had been accustomed to the fluent tongue of [Madame Pierrot]212-madame pierrot . " [I]1411-the good lady wish , "[1411-the good lady] continued [the good lady]1411-the good lady , " [you]0-i would ask [her]1481-i a question or two about [[her]1481-i parents]5063-her parents : [I]1411-the good lady wonder if [she]1481-i remembers [them]5063-her parents ? "[1411-the good lady] " [Adele]259-adele , "[0-i] [I]0-i inquired , " with whom did [you]259-adele live when [you]259-adele were in [that pretty clean town]5064-that pretty clean town [you]259-adele spoke of ? "[0-i] " [I]1483-her lived long ago with [mama]4313-mama ; but [she]4313-mama is gone to [the Holy Virgin]5066-the holy virgin . [Mama]260-mama used to teach [me]1483-her to dance and sing , and to say verses . [A great many gentlemen]5067-a great many gentlemen and [ladies]745-ladies came to see [mama]4313-mama , and [I]1483-her used to dance before [them]5067-a great many gentlemen , or to sit on [their]5067-a great many gentlemen knees and sing to [them]5067-a great many gentlemen : [I]1483-her liked it . Shall [I]1483-her let [you]5067-a great many gentlemen hear [me]1483-her sing now ? "[1483-her] [She]1483-her had finished [her]1483-her breakfast , so [I]0-i permitted [her]1483-her to give a specimen of [her]1483-her accomplishments . Descending from [her]1483-her chair , [she]1483-her came and placed [herself]1483-her on [my]0-i knee ; then , folding [her]1483-her little hands demurely before [her]1483-her , shaking back [her]1483-her curls and lifting [her]1483-her eyes to the ceiling , [she]1483-her commenced singing a song from some opera . It was the strain of [a forsaken lady , who , after bewailing the perfidy of [[her]1483-her lover]1485-her lover , calls pride to [her]1483-her aid]1484-a forsaken lady , who , after bewailing the perfidy of her lover , calls pride to her aid ; desires [[her]1483-her attendant]1472-her attendant to deck [her]1483-her in [her]1483-her brightest jewels and richest robes , and resolves to meet [the false one]1487-the false one that night at a ball , and prove to [him]1485-her lover , by the gaiety of [her]1483-her demeanour , how little [his]1485-her lover desertion has affected [her]1483-her . The subject seemed strangely chosen for [an infant singer]1488-an infant singer ; but [I]0-i suppose the point of the exhibition lay in hearing the notes of love and jealousy warbled with the lisp of childhood ; and in very bad taste that point was : at least [I]0-i thought so . [Adele]259-adele sang the canzonette tunefully enough , and with the naivete of [her]259-adele age . This achieved , [she]259-adele jumped from [my]0-i knee and said , " Now , [Mademoiselle]255-mademoiselle , [I]259-adele will repeat [you]255-mademoiselle some poetry . "[259-adele] Assuming an attitude , [she]259-adele began , " La Ligue des Rats : fable de La Fontaine . "[259-adele] [She]259-adele then declaimed the little piece with an attention to punctuation and emphasis , a flexibility of voice and an appropriateness of gesture , very unusual indeed at [her]259-adele age , and which proved [she]259-adele had been carefully trained . " Was it [[your]255-mademoiselle mama]5070-your mama who taught [you]255-mademoiselle that piece ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " Yes , and [she]5070-your mama just used to say it in this way : ' Qu ' avez vous donc ? lui dit un de ces rats ; parlez ! ' [She]5070-your mama made [me]0-i lift [my]0-i hand - so - to remind [me]0-i to raise [my]0-i voice at the question . Now shall [I]0-i dance for [you]255-mademoiselle ? "[0-i] " No , that will do : but after [[your]255-mademoiselle mama]5070-your mama went to [the Holy Virgin]5066-the holy virgin , as [you]255-mademoiselle say , with whom did [you]255-mademoiselle live then ? "[259-adele] " With [Madame Frederic]261-madame frederic and [[her]261-madame frederic husband]620-her husband : [she]5070-your mama took care of [me]0-i , but [she]5070-your mama is nothing related to [me]0-i . [I]0-i think [she]5070-your mama is poor , for [she]5070-your mama had not so fine [a house]4534-a house as [mama]4313-mama . [I]0-i was not long [there]4426-there . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester asked [me]0-i if [I]0-i would like to go and live with [him]251-mr. rochester in [England]21-england , and [I]0-i said yes ; for [I]0-i knew [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester before [I]0-i knew [Madame Frederic]261-madame frederic , and [he]251-mr. rochester was always kind to [me]0-i and gave [me]0-i pretty dresses and toys : but [you]5077-you see [he]251-mr. rochester has not kept [his]251-mr. rochester word , for [he]251-mr. rochester has brought [me]0-i to [England]21-england , and now [he]251-mr. rochester is gone back again [himself]251-mr. rochester , and [I]0-i never see [him]251-mr. rochester . "[0-i] After breakfast , [Adele]259-adele and [I]0-i withdrew to [the library]659-the library , which room , it appears , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had directed should be used as [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom . Most of the books were locked up behind glass doors ; but there was one bookcase left open containing everything that could be needed in the way of elementary works , and several volumes of light literature , poetry , biography , travels , a few romances , c. [I]0-i suppose [he]251-mr. rochester had considered that these were all [the governess]1491-the governess would require for [her]1491-the governess private perusal ; and , indeed , they contented [me]0-i amply for the present ; compared with the scanty pickings [I]0-i had now and then been able to glean at Lowood , they seemed to offer an abundant harvest of entertainment and information . In [this room]570-this room , too , there was a cabinet piano , quite new and of superior tone ; also an easel for painting and a pair of globes . [I]0-i found [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil sufficiently docile , though disinclined to apply : [she]5027-my pupil had not been used to regular occupation of any kind . [I]0-i felt it would be injudicious to confine [her]5027-my pupil too much at first ; so , when [I]0-i had talked to [her]5027-my pupil a great deal , and got [her]5027-my pupil to learn a little , and when the morning had advanced to noon , [I]0-i allowed [her]5027-my pupil to return to [[her]5027-my pupil nurse]4996-her nurse . [I]0-i then proposed to occupy [myself]0-i till dinner - time in drawing some little sketches for [her]5027-my pupil use . As [I]0-i was going [upstairs]552-upstairs to fetch [my]0-i portfolio and pencils , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax called to [me]0-i : " [Your]0-i morning school - hours are over now , [I]180-mrs. fairfax suppose , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [she]180-mrs. fairfax . [She]180-mrs. fairfax was in [a room the folding - doors of which stood open : [I]0-i went in when [she]180-mrs. fairfax addressed [me]0-i]1496-a room the folding - doors of which stood open : i went in when she addressed me . It was [a large , stately apartment]1497-a large , stately apartment , with purple chairs and curtains , a Turkey carpet , walnut - panelled walls , one vast window rich in slanted glass , and a lofty ceiling , nobly moulded . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax was dusting some vases of fine purple spar , which stood on a sideboard . " What [a beautiful room]5078-a beautiful room ! "[0-i] [I]0-i exclaimed , as [I]0-i looked round ; for [I]0-i had never before seen any half so imposing . " Yes ; this is [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room . [I]180-mrs. fairfax have just opened the window , to let in a little air and sunshine ; for everything gets so damp in [apartments that are seldom inhabited]5080-apartments that are seldom inhabited ; [the drawing - room yonder]5081-the drawing - room yonder feels like [a vault]5082-a vault . "[180-mrs. fairfax] [She]180-mrs. fairfax pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window , and hung like it with a Tyrian - dyed curtain , now looped up . Mounting to [it]1498-it by two broad steps , and looking through , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i caught a glimpse of [a fairy place]1499-a fairy place , so bright to [my]0-i novice - eyes appeared the view beyond . Yet [it]1498-it was merely [a very pretty drawing - room]1500-a very pretty drawing - room , and within [it]1498-it a boudoir , both spread with white carpets , on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers ; both ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine - leaves , beneath which glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans ; while the ornaments on the pale Parisian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian glass , ruby red ; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the general blending of snow and fire . " In what order [you]180-mrs. fairfax keep [these rooms]5083-these rooms , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ! "[0-i] said [I.]0-i " No dust , no canvas coverings : except that the air feels chilly , one would think [they]5083-these rooms were inhabited daily . "[0-i] " Why , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , though [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's visits [here]4312-here are rare , they are always sudden and unexpected ; and as [I]0-i observed that it put [him]251-mr. rochester out to find everything swathed up , and to have a bustle of arrangement on [his]251-mr. rochester arrival , [I]0-i thought it best to keep [the rooms]5085-the rooms in readiness . "[0-i] " Is [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester [an exacting , fastidious sort of man]5086-an exacting , fastidious sort of man ? "[0-i] " Not particularly so ; but [he]251-mr. rochester has [a gentleman]638-a gentleman 's tastes and habits , and [he]251-mr. rochester expects to have things managed in conformity to them . "[0-i] " Do [you]180-mrs. fairfax like [him]251-mr. rochester ? Is [he]251-mr. rochester generally liked ? "[0-i] " Oh , yes ; [the family]5088-the family have always been respected [here]4312-here . [Almost all the land in [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood]5090-almost all the land in this neighbourhood , as far as [you]180-mrs. fairfax can see , has belonged to [the Rochesters]253-the rochesters time out of mind . "[0-i] " Well , but , leaving [[his]251-mr. rochester land]5092-his land out of the question , do [you]180-mrs. fairfax like [him]251-mr. rochester ? Is [he]251-mr. rochester liked for [himself]251-mr. rochester ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i have no cause to do otherwise than like [him]251-mr. rochester ; and [I]0-i believe [he]251-mr. rochester is considered [a just and liberal landlord]5093-a just and liberal landlord by [[his]251-mr. rochester tenants]5094-his tenants : but [he]251-mr. rochester has never lived much amongst [them]5094-his tenants . "[0-i] " But has [he]251-mr. rochester no peculiarities ? What , in short , is [his]251-mr. rochester character ? "[0-i] " Oh ! [his]251-mr. rochester character is unimpeachable , [I]0-i suppose . [He]251-mr. rochester is rather peculiar , perhaps : [he]251-mr. rochester has travelled a great deal , and seen a great deal of [the world]484-the world , [I]0-i should think . [I]0-i dare say [he]251-mr. rochester is clever , but [I]0-i never had much conversation with [him]251-mr. rochester . "[0-i] " In what way is [he]251-mr. rochester peculiar ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i do n't know - it is not easy to describe - nothing striking , but [you]0-i feel it when [he]251-mr. rochester speaks to [you]0-i ; [you]0-i can not be always sure whether [he]251-mr. rochester is in jest or earnest , whether [he]251-mr. rochester is pleased or the contrary ; [you]0-i do n't thoroughly understand [him]251-mr. rochester , in short - at least , [I]0-i do n't : but it is of no consequence , [he]251-mr. rochester is [a very good master]5096-a very good master . "[0-i] This was all the account [I]0-i got from [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax of [[her]180-mrs. fairfax employer]1501-her employer and [mine]0-i . There are [people who seem to have no notion of sketching a character , or observing and describing salient points , either in persons or things]1502-people who seem to have no notion of sketching a character , or observing and describing salient points , either in persons or things : [the good lady]1411-the good lady evidently belonged to [this class]1504-this class ; [my]0-i queries puzzled , but did not draw [her]1411-the good lady out . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester in [her]1411-the good lady eyes ; [a gentleman]638-a gentleman , [a landed proprietor]1506-a landed proprietor - nothing more : [she]1411-the good lady inquired and searched no further , and evidently wondered at [my]0-i wish to gain a more definite notion of [his]251-mr. rochester identity . When [we]1507-we left [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , [she]1411-the good lady proposed to show [me]0-i over the rest of [the house]4322-the house ; and [I]0-i followed [her]1411-the good lady [upstairs]552-upstairs and [downstairs]1218-downstairs , admiring as [I]0-i went ; for all was well arranged and handsome . [The large front chambers]5002-the large front chambers [I]0-i thought especially grand : and [some of [the third - storey rooms]1514-the third - storey rooms]1513-some of the third - storey rooms , though dark and low , were interesting from [their]1513-some of the third - storey rooms air of antiquity . The furniture once appropriated to [the lower apartments]1515-the lower apartments had from time to time been removed here , as fashions changed : and the imperfect light entering by [their]1513-some of the third - storey rooms narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old ; chests in oak or walnut , looking , with their strange carvings of palm branches and cherubs ' heads , like types of the Hebrew ark ; rows of venerable chairs , high - backed and narrow ; stools still more antiquated , on whose cushioned tops were yet apparent traces of half - effaced embroideries , wrought by fingers that for two generations had been coffin - dust . All these relics gave to [the third storey of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall]1516-the third storey of thornfield hall the aspect of [a home of the past]1517-a home of the past : [a shrine of memory]1518-a shrine of memory . [I]0-i liked the hush , the gloom , the quaintness of [these retreats]1519-these retreats in the day ; but [I]0-i by no means coveted a night 's repose on one of those wide and heavy beds : shut in , [some of]1520-some of [them]1521-them , with doors of oak ; shaded , others , with wrought old English hangings crusted with thick work , portraying effigies of strange flowers , and stranger birds , and [strangest human beings]1522-strangest human beings , - all which would have looked strange , indeed , by the pallid gleam of moonlight . " Do [the servants]546-the servants sleep in [these rooms]5083-these rooms ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " No ; [they]546-the servants occupy a range of [smaller apartments]5099-smaller apartments to the back ; [no one]593-no one ever sleeps [here]4312-here : [one]4415-one would almost say that , if there were a ghost at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , this would be [[its]53-thornfield hall haunt]5103-its haunt . "[0-i] " So [I]180-mrs. fairfax think : [you]180-mrs. fairfax have [no ghost]5104-no ghost , then ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] " None that [I]180-mrs. fairfax ever heard of , "[180-mrs. fairfax] returned [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , smiling . " Nor any traditions of one ? no legends or ghost stories ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] " [I]180-mrs. fairfax believe not . And yet it is said [the Rochesters]253-the rochesters have been rather a violent than a quiet race in [their]253-the rochesters time : perhaps , though , that is the reason [they]253-the rochesters rest tranquilly in [their]253-the rochesters graves now . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Yes - ' after life 's fitful fever [they]253-the rochesters sleep well , ' "[0-i] [I]0-i muttered . " Where are [you]180-mrs. fairfax going now , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ? "[0-i] for [she]180-mrs. fairfax was moving away . " On to the leads ; will [you]180-mrs. fairfax come and see the view from thence ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] [I]0-i followed still , up a very narrow staircase to [the attics]1523-the attics , and thence by a ladder and through a trap - door to the roof of [the hall]608-the hall . [I]0-i was now on a level with [the crow colony]1525-the crow colony , and could see into [[their]1525-the crow colony nests]1526-their nests . Leaning over the battlements and looking far down , [I]0-i surveyed [the grounds]772-the grounds laid out like a map : the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling [the grey base of [the mansion]568-the mansion]1528-the grey base of the mansion ; [the field]817-the field , wide as [a park]1531-a park , dotted with [its]817-the field ancient timber ; the wood , dun and sere , divided by a path visibly overgrown , greener with moss than the trees were with foliage ; [the church at the gates]1532-the church at the gates , [the road]4892-the road , [the tranquil hills]1534-the tranquil hills , all reposing in the autumn day 's sun ; the horizon bounded by a propitious sky , azure , marbled with pearly white . No feature in the scene was extraordinary , but all was pleasing . When [I]0-i turned from [it]1535-it and repassed the trap - door , [I]0-i could scarcely see [my]0-i way down the ladder ; [the attic]768-the attic seemed black as [a vault]5082-a vault compared with that arch of blue air to which [I]0-i had been looking up , and to that sunlit scene of grove , [pasture , and green hill]1538-pasture , and green hill , of which [the hall]608-the hall was the centre , and over which [I]0-i had been gazing with delight . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap - door ; [I]0-i , by drift of groping , found the outlet from [the attic]768-the attic , and proceeded to descend the narrow garret staircase . [I]0-i lingered in [the long passage to which this led]1541-the long passage to which this led , separating [the front and back rooms of [the third storey]1543-the third storey]1542-the front and back rooms of the third storey : narrow , low , and dim , with only one little window at the far end , and looking , with [its]1535-it two rows of small black doors all shut , like a corridor in [some [Bluebeard]262-bluebeard 's castle]1544-some bluebeard 's castle . While [I]0-i paced softly on , the last sound [I]0-i expected to hear in so still a region , a laugh , struck [my]0-i ear . It was a curious laugh ; distinct , formal , mirthless . [I]0-i stopped : the sound ceased , only for an instant ; it began again , louder : for at first , though distinct , it was very low . It passed off in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in [every lonely chamber]1545-every lonely chamber ; though it originated but in one , and [I]0-i could have pointed out the door whence the accents issued . " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ! "[0-i] [I]0-i called out : for [I]0-i now heard [her]180-mrs. fairfax descending the great stairs . " Did [you]180-mrs. fairfax hear that loud laugh ? Who is it ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] " [Some of [the servants]546-the servants]5105-some of the servants , very likely , "[180-mrs. fairfax] [she]180-mrs. fairfax answered : " perhaps [Grace Poole]263-grace poole . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Did [you]180-mrs. fairfax hear it ? "[0-i] [I]0-i again inquired . " Yes , plainly : [I]0-i often hear [her]180-mrs. fairfax : [she]180-mrs. fairfax sews in [one of [these rooms]5083-these rooms]5107-one of these rooms . Sometimes [Leah]195-bessie is with [her]180-mrs. fairfax ; [they]5109-they are frequently noisy together . "[0-i] The laugh was repeated in its low , syllabic tone , and terminated in an odd murmur . " Grace ! "[180-mrs. fairfax] exclaimed [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . [I]0-i really did not expect [any Grace]263-grace poole to answer ; for the laugh was as tragic , as preternatural a laugh as any [I]0-i ever heard ; and , but that it was high noon , and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied the curious cachinnation ; but that neither scene nor season favoured fear , [I]0-i should have been superstitiously afraid . However , the event showed [me]0-i [I]0-i was [a fool]1546-a fool for entertaining a sense even of surprise . The door nearest [me]0-i opened , and [a servant]4337-a servant came out , - [a woman of between thirty and forty]1548-a woman of between thirty and forty ; a set , square - made figure , red - haired , and with a hard , plain face : any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely be conceived . " Too much noise , [Grace]263-grace poole , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . " Remember directions ! "[180-mrs. fairfax] [Grace]263-grace poole curtseyed silently and went in . " [She]180-mrs. fairfax is [a person [we]1550-we have to sew and assist [Leah]195-bessie in [her]180-mrs. fairfax housemaid]5110-a person we have to sew and assist leah in her housemaid 's work , "[1549-the widow] continued [the widow]1549-the widow ; " not altogether unobjectionable in some points , but [she]180-mrs. fairfax does well enough . By - the - bye , how have [you]180-mrs. fairfax got on with [[your]180-mrs. fairfax new pupil]5111-your new pupil this morning ? "[1549-the widow] The conversation , thus turned on [Adele]259-adele , continued till [we]1550-we reached [the light and cheerful region below]1551-the light and cheerful region below . [Adele]259-adele came running to meet [us]1550-we in [the hall]608-the hall , exclaiming - " Mesdames , vous etes servies ! "[259-adele] adding , " J'ai bien faim , moi ! "[259-adele] [We]1550-we found dinner ready , and waiting for [us]1550-we in [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's room]1553-mrs. fairfax 's room . CHAPTER XII The promise of a smooth career , which [my]0-i first calm introduction to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall seemed to pledge , was not belied on a longer acquaintance with [the place]1554-the place and [[its]1554-the place inmates]1555-its inmates . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax turned out to be what [she]180-mrs. fairfax appeared , [a placid - tempered , kind - natured woman , of competent education and average intelligence]1556-a placid - tempered , kind - natured woman , of competent education and average intelligence . [[My]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil was [a lively child , who had been spoilt and indulged]1558-a lively child , who had been spoilt and indulged , and therefore was sometimes wayward ; but as [she]5027-my pupil was committed entirely to [my]0-i care , and no injudicious interference from [any quarter]1559-any quarter ever thwarted [my]0-i plans for [her]5027-my pupil improvement , [she]5027-my pupil soon forgot [her]5027-my pupil little freaks , and became obedient and teachable . [She]5027-my pupil had no great talents , no marked traits of character , no peculiar development of feeling or taste which raised [her]5027-my pupil one inch above the ordinary level of childhood ; but neither had [she]5027-my pupil any deficiency or vice which sunk [her]5027-my pupil below it . [She]5027-my pupil made reasonable progress , entertained for [me]0-i a vivacious , though perhaps not very profound , affection ; and by [her]5027-my pupil simplicity , gay prattle , and efforts to please , inspired [me]0-i , in return , with a degree of attachment sufficient to make [us]1560-us both content in each other 's society . This , par parenthese , will be thought cool language by [persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of]1561-persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of [children]524-children , and the duty of those charged with [their]524-children education to conceive for [them]524-children an idolatrous devotion : but [I]0-i am not writing to flatter parental egotism , to echo ca nt , or prop up humbug ; [I]0-i am merely telling the truth . [I]0-i felt a conscientious solicitude for [Adele]259-adele 's welfare and progress , and a quiet liking for [her]5027-my pupil little self : just as [I]0-i cherished towards [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax a thankfulness for [her]5027-my pupil kindness , and a pleasure in [her]5027-my pupil society proportionate to the tranquil regard [she]5027-my pupil had for [me]0-i , and the moderation of [her]5027-my pupil mind and character . [Anybody]4330-anybody may blame [me]0-i who likes , when [I]0-i add further , that , now and then , when [I]0-i took a walk by [myself]0-i in [the grounds]772-the grounds ; when [I]0-i went down to the gates and looked through them along [the road]4892-the road ; or when , while [Adele]259-adele played with [[her]259-adele nurse]4996-her nurse , and [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax made jellies in [the storeroom]4970-the storeroom , [I]0-i climbed the three staircases , raised the trap - door of [the attic]768-the attic , and having reached the leads , looked out afar over [sequestered field]1569-sequestered field and hill , and along dim sky - line - that then [I]0-i longed for a power of vision which might overpass that limit ; which might reach [the busy world]1570-the busy world , [towns]4524-towns , [regions full of life]1572-regions full of life [I]0-i had heard of but never seen - that then [I]0-i desired more of practical experience than [I]0-i possessed ; more of intercourse with [[my]0-i kind]1573-my kind , of acquaintance with variety of character , than was here within [my]0-i reach . [I]0-i valued what was good in [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , and what was good in [Adele]259-adele ; but [I]0-i believed in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness , and what [I]0-i believed in [I]0-i wished to behold . Who blames [me]0-i ? Many , no doubt ; and [I]0-i shall be called discontented . [I]0-i could not help it : the restlessness was in [my]0-i nature ; it agitated [me]0-i to pain sometimes . Then [my]0-i sole relief was to walk along [the corridor of [the third storey]1543-the third storey]1574-the corridor of the third storey , backwards and forwards , safe in the silence and solitude of the spot , and allow [my]0-i mind 's eye to dwell on whatever bright visions rose before it - and , certainly , they were many and glowing ; to let [my]0-i heart be heaved by the exultant movement , which , while it swelled it in trouble , expanded it with life ; and , best of all , to open [my]0-i inward ear to a tale that was never ended - a tale [my]0-i imagination created , and narrated continuously ; quickened with all of incident , life , fire , feeling , that [I]0-i desired and had not in [my]0-i actual existence . It is in vain to say [human beings]754-human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity : [they]754-human beings must have action ; and [they]754-human beings will make it if [they]754-human beings can not find it . [Millions]4765-millions are condemned to a stiller doom than [mine]0-i , and [millions]4765-millions are in silent revolt against [[their]4765-millions lot]1579-their lot . [Nobody]4628-nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which [people earth]1581-people earth . [Women]671-women are supposed to be very calm generally : but [women]671-women feel just as [men]482-men feel ; [they]671-women need exercise for [their]671-women faculties , and a field for [their]671-women efforts , as much as [[their]671-women brothers]1585-their brothers do ; [they]671-women suffer from too rigid a restraint , too absolute a stagnation , precisely as [men]482-men would suffer ; and it is narrow - minded in [[their]671-women more privileged fellow - creatures]1587-their more privileged fellow - creatures to say that [they]671-women ought to confine [themselves]671-women to making puddings and knitting stockings , to playing on the piano and embroidering bags . It is thoughtless to condemn [them]671-women , or laugh at [them]671-women , if [they]671-women seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for [their]671-women sex . When thus alone , [I]0-i not unfrequently heard [Grace Poole]263-grace poole 's laugh : the same peal , the same low , slow ha ! ha ! which , when first heard , had thrilled [me]0-i : [I]0-i heard , too , [her]263-grace poole eccentric murmurs ; stranger than [her]263-grace poole laugh . There were days when [she]263-grace poole was quite silent ; but there were others when [I]0-i could not account for the sounds [she]263-grace poole made . Sometimes [I]0-i saw [her]263-grace poole : [she]263-grace poole would come out of [[her]263-grace poole room]1588-her room with a basin , or a plate , or a tray in [her]263-grace poole hand , go down to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen and shortly return , generally oh , [romantic reader]1590-romantic reader , forgive [me]0-i for telling the plain truth ! bearing a pot of porter . [Her]263-grace poole appearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by [her]263-grace poole oral oddities : hard - featured and staid , [she]263-grace poole had no point to which interest could attach . [I]0-i made some attempts to draw [her]263-grace poole into conversation , but [she]263-grace poole seemed [a person of few words]1591-a person of few words : a monosyllabic reply usually cut short every effort of that sort . [The other members of the household]1592-the other members of the household , viz . , [John]177-st. john and [[his]177-st. john wife]4986-his wife , [[Leah]195-bessie [the housemaid]648-the housemaid]1594-leah the housemaid , and [Sophie]256-sophie [the French nurse]1596-the french nurse , were [decent people]1597-decent people ; but in no respect remarkable ; with [Sophie]256-sophie [I]0-i used to talk French , and sometimes [I]0-i asked [her]263-grace poole questions about [[her]263-grace poole native country]1598-her native country ; but [she]263-grace poole was not of a descriptive or narrative turn , and generally gave such vapid and confused answers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry . October , November , [December]264-december passed away . One afternoon in January , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had begged a holiday for [Adele]259-adele , because [she]259-adele had a cold ; and , as [Adele]259-adele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded [me]0-i how precious occasional holidays had been to [me]0-i in [my]0-i own childhood , [I]0-i accorded it , deeming that [I]0-i did well in showing pliability on the point . It was a fine , calm day , though very cold ; [I]0-i was tired of sitting still in [the library]659-the library through a whole long morning : [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had just written a letter which was waiting to be posted , so [I]0-i put on [my]0-i bonnet and cloak and volunteered to carry it to [Hay]51-hay ; the distance , two miles , would be a pleasant winter afternoon walk . Having seen [Adele]259-adele comfortably seated in [her]259-adele little chair by [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's parlour]1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour fireside , and given [her]259-adele [her]259-adele best wax doll which [I]0-i usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a drawer to play with , and a story - book for change of amusement ; and having replied to [her]259-adele " Revenez bientot , ma bonne amie , ma chere Mdlle . [Jeannette]265-janet , "[259-adele] with a kiss [I]0-i set out . The ground was hard , the air was still , [[my]0-i road]1601-my road was lonely ; [I]0-i walked fast till [I]0-i got warm , and then [I]0-i walked slowly to enjoy and analyse the species of pleasure brooding for [me]0-i in the hour and situation . It was three o'clock ; the church bell tolled as [I]0-i passed under [the belfry]1602-the belfry : the charm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness , in the low - gliding and pale - beaming sun . [I]0-i was a mile from [Thornfield]43-thornfield , in [a lane noted for wild roses in summer]1603-a lane noted for wild roses in summer , for nuts and blackberries in autumn , and even now possessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws , but whose best winter delight lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose . If a breath of air stirred , it made no sound here ; for there was not a holly , not an evergreen to rustle , and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as still as the white , worn stones which causewayed the middle of [the path]829-the path . Far and wide , on each side , there were only [fields , where no cattle now browsed]1605-fields , where no cattle now browsed ; and the little brown birds , which stirred occasionally in the hedge , looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop . [This lane]1606-this lane inclined up - hill all the way to [Hay]51-hay ; having reached the middle , [I]0-i sat down on a stile which led thence into [a field]1607-a field . Gathering [my]0-i mantle about [me]0-i , and sheltering [my]0-i hands in [my]0-i muff , [I]0-i did not feel the cold , though it froze keenly ; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering [the causeway]1608-the causeway , where a little brooklet , now congealed , had overflowed after a rapid thaw some days since . From [my]0-i seat [I]0-i could look down on [Thornfield]43-thornfield : [the grey and battlemented hall]1609-the grey and battlemented hall was the principal object in [the vale below [me]0-i]1610-the vale below me ; [[its]1609-the grey and battlemented hall woods and dark rookery]1611-its woods and dark rookery rose against the west . [I]0-i lingered till the sun went down amongst the trees , and sank crimson and clear behind them . [I]0-i then turned eastward . On [the hill - top above [me]0-i]1612-the hill - top above me sat the rising moon ; pale yet as a cloud , but brightening momentarily , [she]1613-she looked over [Hay]51-hay , which , half lost in trees , sent up a blue smoke from [its]51-hay few chimneys : [it]51-hay was yet a mile distant , but in the absolute hush [I]0-i could hear plainly its thin murmurs of life . [My]0-i ear , too , felt the flow of currents ; in what dales and [depths]1614-depths [I]0-i could not tell : but there were [many hills beyond [Hay]51-hay]1615-many hills beyond hay , and doubtless many becks threading [their]1615-many hills beyond hay passes . That evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of [the nearest streams]1616-the nearest streams , the sough of the most remote . A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisperings , at once so far away and so clear : a positive tramp , tramp , a metallic clatter , which effaced the soft wave - wanderings ; as , in a picture , the solid mass of a crag , or the rough boles of a great oak , drawn in dark and strong on the foreground , efface the aerial distance of [azure hill]1617-azure hill , sunny horizon , and blended clouds where tint melts into tint . The din was on [the causeway]1608-the causeway : a horse was coming ; the windings of [the lane]1619-the lane yet hid it , but it approached . [I]0-i was just leaving the stile ; yet , as the path was narrow , [I]0-i sat still to let it go by . In those days [I]0-i was young , and all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted [my]0-i mind : the memories of nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish ; and when they recurred , [maturing youth]1620-maturing youth added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what childhood could give . As this horse approached , and as [I]0-i watched for it to appear through the dusk , [I]0-i remembered certain of [Bessie]195-bessie 's tales , wherein figured a [North - of -]55-north - of - [England]21-england spirit called a " Gytrash , "[195-bessie] which , in the form of horse , mule , or large dog , haunted solitary ways , and sometimes came upon [belated travellers]586-belated travellers , as this horse was now coming upon [me]0-i . It was very near , but not yet in sight ; when , in addition to the tramp , tramp , [I]0-i heard a rush under the hedge , and close down by the hazel stems glided a great dog , whose black and white colour made [him]1622-him a distinct object against the trees . It was exactly one form of [Bessie]195-bessie 's Gytrash - a lion - like creature with long hair and a huge head : it passed [me]0-i , however , quietly enough ; not staying to look up , with strange pretercanine eyes , in [my]0-i face , as [I]0-i half expected it would . The horse followed , - a tall steed , and on its back [a rider]1623-a rider . [The man]1375-the man , [the human being]1625-the human being , broke the spell at once . Nothing ever rode [the Gytrash]56-the gytrash : it was always alone ; and [goblins]1626-goblins , to [my]0-i notions , though [they]1626-goblins might tenant the dumb carcasses of beasts , could scarce covet shelter in the commonplace human form . No [Gytrash]56-the gytrash was this , - only [a traveller taking the short cut to [Millcote]44-millcote]1627-a traveller taking the short cut to millcote . [He]1627-a traveller taking the short cut to millcote passed , and [I]0-i went on ; a few steps , and [I]0-i turned : a sliding sound and an exclamation of " What the deuce is to do now ? "[0-i] and a clattering tumble , arrested [my]0-i attention . [Man]4667-man and horse were down ; [they]1629-they had slipped on the sheet of ice which glazed [the causeway]1608-the causeway . [The dog]1631-the dog came bounding back , and seeing [[his]1631-the dog master]701-his master in a predicament , and hearing the horse groan , barked till [the evening hills]1633-the evening hills echoed the sound , which was deep in proportion to [his]1631-the dog magnitude . [He]1631-the dog snuffed round the prostrate group , and then [he]1631-the dog ran up to [me]0-i ; it was all [he]1631-the dog could do , - there was no other help at hand to summon . [I]0-i obeyed [him]1631-the dog , and walked down to [the traveller]1634-the traveller , by this time struggling [himself]1631-the dog free of [his]1631-the dog steed . [His]1631-the dog efforts were so vigorous , [I]0-i thought [he]1631-the dog could not be much hurt ; but [I]0-i asked [him]1631-the dog the question - " Are [you]1631-the dog injured , [sir]4374-sir ? "[0-i] [I]0-i think [he]1631-the dog was swearing , but am not certain ; however , [he]1631-the dog was pronouncing some formula which prevented [him]1631-the dog from replying to [me]0-i directly . " Can [I]0-i do anything ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked again . " [You]0-i must just stand on one side , "[1631-the dog] [he]1631-the dog answered as [he]1631-the dog rose , first to [his]1631-the dog knees , and then to [his]1631-the dog feet . [I]0-i did ; whereupon began a heaving , stamping , clattering process , accompanied by a barking and baying which removed [me]0-i effectually some yards ' distance ; but [I]0-i would not be driven quite away till [I]0-i saw the event . This was finally fortunate ; the horse was re - established , and the dog was silenced with a " Down , [Pilot]267-pilot ! "[1634-the traveller] [The traveller]1634-the traveller now , stooping , felt [his]1631-the dog foot and leg , as if trying whether they were sound ; apparently something ailed [them]1634-the traveller , for [he]1631-the dog halted to the stile whence [I]0-i had just risen , and sat down . [I]0-i was in the mood for being useful , or at least officious , [I]0-i think , for [I]0-i now drew near [him]1631-the dog again . " If [you]1631-the dog are hurt , and want help , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i can fetch some one either from [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall or from [Hay]51-hay . "[0-i] " Thank [you]1631-the dog : [I]1631-the dog shall do : [I]1631-the dog have no broken bones , - only a sprain ; "[1631-the dog] and again [he]1631-the dog stood up and tried [his]1631-the dog foot , but the result extorted an involuntary " Ugh ! "[0-i] Something of daylight still lingered , and the moon was waxing bright : [I]0-i could see [him]1631-the dog plainly . [His]1631-the dog figure was enveloped in a riding cloak , fur collared and steel clasped ; its details were not apparent , but [I]0-i traced the general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest . [He]1631-the dog had a dark face , with stern features and a heavy brow ; [his]1631-the dog eyes and gathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now ; [he]1631-the dog was past youth , but had not reached middle - age ; perhaps [he]1631-the dog might be thirty - five . [I]0-i felt no fear of [him]1631-the dog , and but little shyness . Had [he]1631-the dog been [a handsome , heroic - looking young gentleman]1636-a handsome , heroic - looking young gentleman , [I]0-i should not have dared to stand thus questioning [him]1631-the dog against [his]1631-the dog will , and offering [my]0-i services unasked . [I]0-i had hardly ever seen [a handsome youth]1637-a handsome youth ; never in [my]0-i life spoken to one . [I]0-i had a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty , elegance , gallantry , fascination ; but had [I]0-i met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape , [I]0-i should have known instinctively that [they]1638-they neither had nor could have sympathy with anything in [me]0-i , and should have shunned [them]1638-they as one would fire , lightning , or anything else that is bright but antipathetic . If even [this stranger]1639-this stranger had smiled and been good - humoured to [me]0-i when [I]0-i addressed [him]1639-this stranger ; if [he]1639-this stranger had put off [my]0-i offer of assistance gaily and with thanks , [I]0-i should have gone on [my]0-i way and not felt any vocation to renew inquiries : but the frown , the roughness of [the traveller]1634-the traveller , set [me]0-i at [my]0-i ease : [I]0-i retained [my]0-i station when [he]1639-this stranger waved to [me]0-i to go , and announced - " [I]1639-this stranger can not think of leaving [you]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , at so late an hour , in [this solitary lane]5115-this solitary lane , till [I]1639-this stranger see [you]0-i are fit to mount [your]0-i horse . "[1639-this stranger] [He]1639-this stranger looked at [me]0-i when [I]0-i said this ; [he]1639-this stranger had hardly turned [his]1639-this stranger eyes in [my]0-i direction before . " [I]1639-this stranger should think [you]0-i ought to be at [home]509-home [yourself]0-i , "[1639-this stranger] said [he]1639-this stranger , " if [you]0-i have [a home in [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood]5117-a home in this neighbourhood : where do [you]0-i come from ? "[1639-this stranger] " From just below ; and [I]1639-this stranger am not at all afraid of being out late when it is moonlight : [I]1639-this stranger will run over to [Hay]51-hay for [you]0-i with pleasure , if [you]0-i wish it : indeed , [I]1639-this stranger am going [there]4426-there to post a letter . "[1639-this stranger] " [You]1639-this stranger live just below - do [you]1639-this stranger mean at [that house]5120-that house with the battlements ? "[1639-this stranger] pointing to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , on which the moon cast a hoary gleam , bringing it out distinct and pale from [the woods]662-the woods that , by contrast with the western sky , now seemed one mass of shadow . " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[1642-i] " Whose house is [it]5120-that house ? "[1642-i] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's . "[1642-i] " Do [you]1639-this stranger know [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? "[1642-i] " No , [I]1642-i have never seen [him]251-mr. rochester . "[1642-i] " [He]251-mr. rochester is not resident , then ? "[1642-i] " No . "[1642-i] " Can [you]1639-this stranger tell [me]1642-i where [he]251-mr. rochester is ? "[1642-i] " [I]1642-i can not . "[1642-i] " [You]0-i are not [a servant at [the hall]608-the hall]5122-a servant at the hall , of course . [You]0-i are - "[1642-i] [He]1642-i stopped , ran [his]1642-i eye over [my]0-i dress , which , as usual , was quite simple : a black merino cloak , a black beaver bonnet ; neither of them half fine enough for [a lady's - maid]1643-a lady's - maid . [He]1642-i seemed puzzled to decide what [I]0-i was ; [I]0-i helped [him]1642-i . " [I]1642-i am [the governess]1491-the governess . "[1642-i] " Ah , [the governess]1491-the governess ! "[1642-i] [he]1642-i repeated ; " deuce take [me]1642-i , if [I]1642-i had not forgotten ! [The governess]1491-the governess ! "[1642-i] and again [my]0-i raiment underwent scrutiny . In two minutes [he]1642-i rose from the stile : [his]1642-i face expressed pain when [he]1642-i tried to move . " [I]1642-i can not commission [you]0-i to fetch help , "[1642-i] [he]1642-i said ; " but [you]0-i may help [me]1642-i a little [yourself]0-i , if [you]0-i will be so kind . "[1642-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[1642-i] " [You]0-i have not an umbrella that [I]1642-i can use as a stick ? "[1642-i] " No . "[1642-i] " Try to get hold of [my]1642-i horse 's bridle and lead [him]5128-him to [me]1642-i : [you]0-i are not afraid ? "[1642-i] [I]0-i should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone , but when told to do it , [I]0-i was disposed to obey . [I]0-i put down [my]0-i muff on the stile , and went up to the tall steed ; [I]0-i endeavoured to catch the bridle , but it was a spirited thing , and would not let [me]0-i come near its head ; [I]0-i made effort on effort , though in vain : meantime , [I]0-i was mortally afraid of its trampling fore - feet . [The traveller]1634-the traveller waited and watched for some time , and at last [he]1634-the traveller laughed . " [I]1634-the traveller see , "[1634-the traveller] [he]1634-the traveller said , " [the mountain]5129-the mountain will never be brought to [Mahomet]57-mahomet , so all [you]0-i can do is to aid [Mahomet]57-mahomet to go to [the mountain]5129-the mountain ; [I]1634-the traveller must beg of [you]0-i to come here . "[1634-the traveller] [I]0-i came . " Excuse [me]1634-the traveller , "[1634-the traveller] [he]1634-the traveller continued : " necessity compels [me]1634-the traveller to make [you]0-i useful . "[1634-the traveller] [He]1634-the traveller laid a heavy hand on [my]0-i shoulder , and leaning on [me]0-i with some stress , limped to [his]1634-the traveller horse . Having once caught the bridle , [he]1634-the traveller mastered it directly and sprang to [his]1634-the traveller saddle ; grimacing grimly as [he]1634-the traveller made the effort , for it wrenched [his]1634-the traveller sprain . " Now , "[1634-the traveller] said [he]1634-the traveller , releasing [his]1634-the traveller under lip from a hard bite , " just hand [me]1634-the traveller [my]1634-the traveller whip ; it lies there under the hedge . "[1634-the traveller] [I]0-i sought it and found it . " Thank [you]1634-the traveller ; now make haste with the letter to Hay , and return as fast as [you]1634-the traveller can . "[0-i] A touch of a spurred heel made [his]1634-the traveller horse first start and rear , and then bound away ; the dog rushed in [his]1634-the traveller traces ; all three vanished , " Like heath that , in [the wilderness]5131-the wilderness , The wild wind whirls away . "[0-i] [I]0-i took up [my]0-i muff and walked on . The incident had occurred and was gone for [me]0-i : it WAS an incident of no moment , no romance , no interest in a sense ; yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life . [My]0-i help had been needed and claimed ; [I]0-i had given it : [I]0-i was pleased to have done something ; trivial , transitory though the deed was , it was yet an active thing , and [I]0-i was weary of an existence all passive . The new face , too , was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory ; and it was dissimilar to all the others hanging there : firstly , because it was masculine ; and , secondly , because it was dark , strong , and stern . [I]0-i had it still before [me]0-i when [I]0-i entered [Hay]51-hay , and slipped the letter into [the post- office]1645-the post- office ; [I]0-i saw it as [I]0-i walked fast down - hill all the way [home]509-home . When [I]0-i came to [the stile]1647-the stile , [I]0-i stopped a minute , looked round and listened , with an idea that a horse 's hoofs might ring on [the causeway]1608-the causeway again , and that [a rider in a cloak]1649-a rider in a cloak , and a Gytrash - like Newfoundland dog , might be again apparent : [I]0-i saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before [me]0-i , rising up still and straight to meet the moonbeams ; [I]0-i heard only the faintest waft of wind roaming fitful among the trees round [Thornfield]43-thornfield , a mile distant ; and when [I]0-i glanced down in the direction of the murmur , [my]0-i eye , traversing [the hall]608-the hall - front , caught a light kindling in a window : it reminded [me]0-i that [I]0-i was late , and [I]0-i hurried on . [I]0-i did not like re - entering [Thornfield]43-thornfield . To pass [its]43-thornfield threshold was to return to stagnation ; to cross [the silent hall]1651-the silent hall , to ascend the darksome staircase , to seek [[my]0-i own lonely little room]1652-my own lonely little room , and then to meet [tranquil Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , and spend the long winter evening with [her]180-mrs. fairfax , and [her]180-mrs. fairfax only , was to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by [my]0-i walk , - to slip again over [my]0-i faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform and too still existence ; of an existence whose very privileges of security and ease [I]0-i was becoming incapable of appreciating . What good it would have done [me]0-i at that time to have been tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling life , and to have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for the calm amidst which [I]0-i now repined ! Yes , just as much good as it would do [a man tired of sitting still in a " too easy chair "[1654-his] to take a long walk]1653-a man tired of sitting still in a " too easy chair " to take a long walk : and just as natural was the wish to stir , under [my]0-i circumstances , as it would be under [his]1654-his . [I]0-i lingered at the gates ; [I]0-i lingered on [the lawn]633-the lawn ; [I]0-i paced backwards and forwards on the pavement ; the shutters of the glass door were closed ; [I]0-i could not see into the interior ; and both [my]0-i eyes and spirit seemed drawn from [the gloomy house]1656-the gloomy house - from [the grey - hollow filled with rayless cells]1657-the grey - hollow filled with rayless cells , as it appeared to [me]0-i - to that sky expanded before [me]0-i , - [a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud]1658-a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud ; the moon ascending [it]1658-a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud in solemn march ; [her]1659-her orb seeming to look up as [she]1659-her left [the hill - tops]1660-the hill - tops , from behind which [she]1659-her had come , far and farther below [her]1659-her , and aspired to the zenith , midnight dark in [its]1661-its fathomless depth and measureless distance ; and for those trembling stars that followed [her]1659-her course ; they made [my]0-i heart tremble , [my]0-i veins glow when [I]0-i viewed them . Little things recall [us]1662-us to [earth]478-earth ; the clock struck in [the hall]608-the hall ; that sufficed ; [I]0-i turned from moon and stars , opened a side - door , and went in . [The hall]608-the hall was not dark , nor yet was [it]608-the hall lit , only by the high - hung bronze lamp ; a warm glow suffused both [it]608-the hall and the lower steps of the oak staircase . This ruddy shine issued from [the great dining - room]1666-the great dining - room , whose two - leaved door stood open , and showed a genial fire in the grate , glancing on marble hearth and brass fire - irons , and revealing purple draperies and polished furniture , in the most pleasant radiance . It revealed , too , [a group near the mantelpiece]1667-a group near the mantelpiece : [I]0-i had scarcely caught it , and scarcely become aware of a cheerful mingling of voices , amongst which [I]0-i seemed to distinguish the tones of [Adele]259-adele , when the door closed . [I]0-i hastened to [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's room]1553-mrs. fairfax 's room ; there was a fire there too , but no candle , and no [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . Instead , all alone , sitting upright on the rug , and gazing with gravity at the blaze , [I]0-i beheld a great black and white long - haired dog , just like the Gytrash of [the lane]1619-the lane . It was so like it that [I]0-i went forward and said - " [Pilot]267-pilot "[0-i] and the thing got up and came to [me]0-i and snuffed [me]0-i . [I]0-i caressed [him]1670-he , and [he]1670-he wagged [his]1670-he great tail ; but [he]1670-he looked [an eerie creature to be alone with]1671-an eerie creature to be alone with , and [I]0-i could not tell whence [he]1670-he had come . [I]0-i rang the bell , for [I]0-i wanted a candle ; and [I]0-i wanted , too , to get an account of [this visitant]1672-this visitant . [Leah]195-bessie entered . " What dog is this ? "[195-bessie] " [He]1670-he came with [master]4335-master . "[195-bessie] " With whom ? "[195-bessie] " With [master]4335-master - [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester - [he]251-mr. rochester is just arrived . "[195-bessie] " Indeed ! and is [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax with [him]251-mr. rochester ? "[195-bessie] " Yes , and [Miss Adele]259-adele ; [they]5134-they are in [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , and [John]177-st. john is gone for [a surgeon]5136-a surgeon ; for [master]4335-master has had an accident ; [his]4335-master horse fell and [his]4335-master ankle is sprained . "[195-bessie] " Did the horse fall in [Hay Lane]58-hay lane ? "[195-bessie] " Yes , coming down - hill ; it slipped on some ice . "[195-bessie] " Ah ! Bring [me]195-bessie a candle will [you]195-bessie [Leah]195-bessie ? "[195-bessie] [Leah]195-bessie brought it ; [she]195-bessie entered , followed by [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , who repeated the news ; adding that [Mr. Carter]270-carter [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon was come , and was now with [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : then [she]180-mrs. fairfax hurried out to give orders about tea , and [I]0-i went [upstairs]552-upstairs to take off [my]0-i things . CHAPTER XIII [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , it seems , by [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon 's orders , went to bed early that night ; nor did [he]251-mr. rochester rise soon next morning . When [he]251-mr. rochester did come down , it was to attend to business : [[his]251-mr. rochester agent]1676-his agent and [some of [[his]251-mr. rochester tenants]5094-his tenants]1677-some of his tenants were arrived , and waiting to speak with [him]251-mr. rochester . [Adele]259-adele and [I]0-i had now to vacate [the library]659-the library : it would be in daily requisition as [a reception - room for [callers]1681-callers]1680-a reception - room for callers . A fire was lit in [an apartment]1682-an apartment [upstairs]552-upstairs , and there [I]0-i carried [our]1684-our books , and arranged it for [the future schoolroom]1685-the future schoolroom . [I]0-i discerned in the course of the morning that [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall was [a changed place]1686-a changed place : no longer silent as [a church]1389-a church , [it]53-thornfield hall echoed every hour or two to a knock at the door , or a clang of the bell ; steps , too , often traversed [the hall]608-the hall , and new voices spoke in different keys below ; a rill from [the outer world]4877-the outer world was flowing through it ; it had [a master]4710-a master : for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i liked it better . [Adele]259-adele was not easy to teach that day ; [she]259-adele could not apply : [she]259-adele kept running to the door and looking over the banisters to see if [she]259-adele could get a glimpse of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; then [she]259-adele coined pretexts to go [downstairs]1218-downstairs , in order , as [I]0-i shrewdly suspected , to visit [the library]659-the library , where [I]0-i knew [she]259-adele was not wanted ; then , when [I]0-i got a little angry , and made [her]259-adele sit still , [she]259-adele continued to talk incessantly of [her]259-adele " ami , [Monsieur Edouard Fairfax DE Rochester]271-fairfax rochester , "[259-adele] as [she]259-adele dubbed [him]251-mr. rochester [I]0-i had not before heard [his]251-mr. rochester prenomens , and to conjecture what presents [he]251-mr. rochester had brought [her]259-adele : for it appears [he]251-mr. rochester had intimated the night before , that when [his]251-mr. rochester luggage came from [Millcote]44-millcote , there would be found amongst it a little box in whose contents [she]259-adele had an interest . " Et cela doit signifier , "[259-adele] said [she]259-adele , " qu'il y aura le dedans un cadeau pour moi , et peut - etre pour vous aussi , mademoiselle . Monsieur a parle de vous : il m'a demande le nom de [ma gouvernante]5138-ma gouvernante , et si elle n'etait pas une petite personne , assez mince et un peu pale . J'ai dit qu'oui : car c'est vrai , n'est - ce pas , mademoiselle ? "[259-adele] [I]0-i and [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil dined as usual in [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's parlour]1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour ; the afternoon was wild and snowy , and [we]1695-we passed it in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom . At dark [I]0-i allowed [Adele]259-adele to put away books and work , and to run [downstairs]1218-downstairs ; for , from the comparative silence below , and from the cessation of appeals to the door - bell , [I]0-i conjectured that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was now at liberty . Left alone , [I]0-i walked to the window ; but nothing was to be seen thence : twilight and snowflakes together thickened the air , and hid the very shrubs on [the lawn]633-the lawn . [I]0-i let down the curtain and went back to [the fireside]1699-the fireside . In the clear embers [I]0-i was tracing a view , not unlike a picture [I]0-i remembered to have seen of [the castle of [Heidelberg]59-heidelberg]1700-the castle of heidelberg , on [the Rhine]60-the rhine , when [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax came in , breaking up by [her]180-mrs. fairfax entrance the fiery mosaic [I]0-i had been piercing together , and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts that were beginning to throng on [my]0-i solitude . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would be glad if [you]0-i and [[your]0-i pupil]5139-your pupil would take tea with [him]251-mr. rochester in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room this evening , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [she]180-mrs. fairfax : " [he]251-mr. rochester has been so much engaged all day that [he]251-mr. rochester could not ask to see [you]0-i before . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " When is [his]251-mr. rochester tea - time ? "[0-i] [I]0-i inquired . " Oh , at six o'clock : [he]251-mr. rochester keeps early hours in [the country]4525-the country . [You]0-i had better change [your]0-i frock now ; [I]0-i will go with [you]0-i and fasten it . Here is a candle . "[0-i] " Is it necessary to change [my]180-mrs. fairfax frock ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Yes , [you]180-mrs. fairfax had better : [I]0-i always dress for the evening when [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is [here]4312-here . "[0-i] This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately ; however , [I]0-i repaired to [[my]0-i room]4787-my room , and , with [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's aid , replaced [my]0-i black stuff dress by one of black silk ; the best and the only additional one [I]0-i had , except one of light grey , which , in [my]0-i Lowood notions of the toilette , [I]0-i thought too fine to be worn , except on first - rate occasions . " [You]0-i want a brooch , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . [I]0-i had a single little pearl ornament which [Miss Temple]201-miss temple gave [me]0-i as a parting keepsake : [I]0-i put it on , and then [we]1702-we went [downstairs]1218-downstairs . Unused as [I]0-i was to [strangers]1704-strangers , it was rather a trial to appear thus formally summoned in [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's presence . [I]0-i let [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax precede [me]0-i into [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , and kept in [her]180-mrs. fairfax shade as [we]1702-we crossed [that apartment]1706-that apartment ; and , passing the arch , whose curtain was now dropped , entered [the elegant recess beyond]1707-the elegant recess beyond . Two wax candles stood lighted on the table , and two on the mantelpiece ; basking in the light and heat of a superb fire , lay [Pilot]267-pilot - [Adele]259-adele knelt near [him]251-mr. rochester . Half reclined on a couch appeared [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [his]251-mr. rochester foot supported by the cushion ; [he]251-mr. rochester was looking at [Adele]259-adele and the dog : the fire shone full on [his]251-mr. rochester face . [I]0-i knew [my]0-i traveller with [his]251-mr. rochester broad and jetty eyebrows ; [his]251-mr. rochester square forehead , made squarer by the horizontal sweep of [his]251-mr. rochester black hair . [I]0-i recognised [his]251-mr. rochester decisive nose , more remarkable for character than beauty ; [his]251-mr. rochester full nostrils , denoting , [I]0-i thought , choler ; [his]251-mr. rochester grim mouth , chin , and jaw - yes , all three were very grim , and no mistake . [His]251-mr. rochester shape , now divested of cloak , [I]0-i perceived harmonised in squareness with [his]251-mr. rochester physiognomy : [I]0-i suppose it was [a good figure in the athletic sense of the term]1708-a good figure in the athletic sense of the term - broad chested and thin flanked , though neither tall nor graceful . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester must have been aware of the entrance of [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax and [myself]0-i ; but it appeared [he]251-mr. rochester was not in the mood to notice [us]1709-us , for [he]251-mr. rochester never lifted [his]251-mr. rochester head as [we]1709-us approached . " Here is [Miss Eyre]146-jane , [sir]4374-sir , "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , in [her]180-mrs. fairfax quiet way . [He]251-mr. rochester bowed , still not taking [his]251-mr. rochester eyes from the group of the dog and [child]4354-child . " Let [Miss Eyre]146-jane be seated , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester : and there was something in the forced stiff bow , in the impatient yet formal tone , which seemed further to express , " What the deuce is it to [me]0-i whether [Miss Eyre]146-jane be [there]4426-there or not ? At this moment [I]0-i am not disposed to accost [her]146-jane . "[0-i] [I]0-i sat down quite disembarrassed . A reception of finished politeness would probably have confused [me]0-i : [I]0-i could not have returned or repaid it by answering grace and elegance on [my]0-i part ; but harsh caprice laid [me]0-i under no obligation ; on the contrary , a decent quiescence , under the freak of manner , gave [me]0-i the advantage . Besides , the eccentricity of the proceeding was piquant : [I]0-i felt interested to see how [he]251-mr. rochester would go on . [He]251-mr. rochester went on as a statue would , that is , [he]251-mr. rochester neither spoke nor moved . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax seemed to think it necessary that [some one]637-some one should be amiable , and [she]180-mrs. fairfax began to talk . Kindly , as usual - and , as usual , rather trite - [she]180-mrs. fairfax condoled with [him]251-mr. rochester on the pressure of business [he]251-mr. rochester had had all day ; on the annoyance it must have been to [him]251-mr. rochester with that painful sprain : then [she]180-mrs. fairfax commended [his]251-mr. rochester patience and perseverance in going through with it . " [Madam]4457-madam , [I]180-mrs. fairfax should like some tea , "[180-mrs. fairfax] was the sole rejoinder [she]180-mrs. fairfax got . [She]180-mrs. fairfax hastened to ring the bell ; and when the tray came , [she]180-mrs. fairfax proceeded to arrange the cups , spoons , c. , with assiduous celerity . [I]0-i and [Adele]259-adele went to the table ; but [the master]540-the master did not leave [his]540-the master couch . " Will [you]251-mr. rochester hand [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's cup ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax to [me]0-i ; " [Adele]259-adele might perhaps spill it . "[180-mrs. fairfax] [I]0-i did as requested . As [he]251-mr. rochester took the cup from [my]0-i hand , [Adele]259-adele , thinking the moment propitious for making a request in [my]0-i favour , cried out - " N'est - ce pas , [monsieur]5146-monsieur , qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans votre petit coffre ? "[259-adele] " Who talks of cadeaux ? "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester gruffly . " Did [you]0-i expect a present , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ? Are [you]0-i fond of presents ? "[251-mr. rochester] and [he]251-mr. rochester searched [my]0-i face with eyes that [I]0-i saw were dark , irate , and piercing . " [I]251-mr. rochester hardly know , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]251-mr. rochester have little experience of them : they are generally thought pleasant things . "[251-mr. rochester] " Generally thought ? But what do [YOU]4374-sir think ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester should be obliged to take time , [sir]4374-sir , before [I]251-mr. rochester could give [you]4374-sir an answer worthy of [your]4374-sir acceptance : a present has many faces to it , has it not ? and [one]4415-one should consider all , before pronouncing an opinion as to its nature . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Miss Eyre]146-jane , [you]4374-sir are not so unsophisticated as [Adele]259-adele : [she]259-adele demands a ' cadeau , ' clamorously , the moment [she]259-adele sees [me]251-mr. rochester : [you]4374-sir beat about the bush . "[251-mr. rochester] " Because [I]251-mr. rochester have less confidence in [my]251-mr. rochester deserts than [Adele]259-adele has : [she]259-adele can prefer the claim of old acquaintance , and the right too of custom ; for [she]259-adele says [you]4374-sir have always been in the habit of giving [her]259-adele playthings ; but if [I]251-mr. rochester had to make out a case [I]251-mr. rochester should be puzzled , since [I]251-mr. rochester am [a stranger]799-a stranger , and have done nothing to entitle [me]251-mr. rochester to an acknowledgment . "[251-mr. rochester] " Oh , do n't fall back on over - modesty ! [I]251-mr. rochester have examined [Adele]259-adele , and find [you]4374-sir have taken great pains with [her]259-adele : [she]259-adele is not bright , [she]259-adele has no talents ; yet in a short time [she]259-adele has made much improvement . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Sir]4374-sir , [you]4374-sir have now given [me]251-mr. rochester [my]251-mr. rochester ' cadeau ; ' [I]251-mr. rochester am obliged to [you]4374-sir : it is [the meed teachers most covet - praise of [[their]5152-the meed teachers most covet - praise of their pupils ' progress pupils]5153-their pupils ' progress]5152-the meed teachers most covet - praise of their pupils ' progress . "[251-mr. rochester] " Humph ! "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , and [he]251-mr. rochester took [his]251-mr. rochester tea in silence . " Come to the fire , "[540-the master] said [the master]540-the master , when the tray was taken away , and [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had settled into a corner with [her]180-mrs. fairfax knitting ; while [Adele]259-adele was leading [me]0-i by the hand round [the room]535-the room , showing [me]0-i the beautiful books and ornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres . [We]1715-we obeyed , as in duty bound ; [Adele]259-adele wanted to take a seat on [my]0-i knee , but [she]259-adele was ordered to amuse [herself]259-adele with [Pilot]267-pilot . " [You]4374-sir have been resident in [[my]259-adele house]4395-my house three months ? "[259-adele] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[259-adele] " And [you]4374-sir came from - ? "[259-adele] " From [Lowood school]5156-lowood school , in -shire . "[259-adele] " Ah ! a charitable concern . How long were [you]4374-sir [there]4426-there ? "[259-adele] " Eight years . "[259-adele] " Eight years ! [you]4374-sir must be tenacious of life . [I]259-adele thought half the time in [such a place]5158-such a place would have done up any constitution ! No wonder [you]4374-sir have rather the look of [another world]634-another world . [I]259-adele marvelled where [you]4374-sir had got that sort of face . When [you]4374-sir came on [me]259-adele in [Hay Lane]58-hay lane last night , [I]259-adele thought unaccountably of fairy tales , and had half a mind to demand whether [you]4374-sir had bewitched [my]259-adele horse : [I]259-adele am not sure yet . Who are [[your]4374-sir parents]879-your parents ? "[259-adele] " [I]259-adele have none . "[259-adele] " Nor ever had , [I]259-adele suppose : do [you]4374-sir remember [them]879-your parents ? "[259-adele] " No . "[259-adele] " [I]259-adele thought not . And so [you]4374-sir were waiting for [[your]4374-sir people]5161-your people when [you]4374-sir sat on [that stile]5162-that stile ? "[259-adele] " For whom , [sir]4374-sir ? "[259-adele] " For [the men in green]5164-the men in green : it was a proper moonlight evening for [them]5164-the men in green . Did [I]0-i break through one of [your]4374-sir rings , that [you]4374-sir spread that damned ice on [the causeway]1608-the causeway ? "[0-i] [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head . " [The men in green]5164-the men in green all forsook [England]21-england a hundred years ago , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , speaking as seriously as [he]1716-he had done . " And not even in [Hay Lane]5167-hay lane , or [the fields about]5168-the fields about [it]5167-hay lane , could [you]4374-sir find a trace of them . [I]0-i do n't think either summer or harvest , or winter moon , will ever shine on [their]5164-the men in green revels more . "[0-i] [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had dropped [her]180-mrs. fairfax knitting , and , with raised eyebrows , seemed wondering what sort of talk this was . " Well , "[251-mr. rochester] resumed [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , " if [you]4374-sir disown [parents]5169-parents , [you]4374-sir must have some sort of kinsfolk : [uncles]5170-uncles and [aunts]5171-aunts ? "[251-mr. rochester] " No ; none that [I]0-i ever saw . "[0-i] " And [[your]4374-sir home]5172-your home ? "[0-i] " [I]251-mr. rochester have none . "[251-mr. rochester] " Where do [[your]4374-sir brothers]5173-your brothers and [sisters]545-sisters live ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i have [no brothers]5175-no brothers or [sisters]545-sisters . "[0-i] " Who recommended [you]4374-sir to come here ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]0-i advertised , and [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax answered [my]0-i advertisement . "[0-i] " Yes , "[1411-the good lady] said [the good lady]1411-the good lady , who now knew what ground [we]1718-we were upon , " and [I]1411-the good lady am daily thankful for the choice [Providence]272-providence led [me]1411-the good lady to make . [Miss Eyre]146-jane has been [an invaluable companion to [me]1411-the good lady]5177-an invaluable companion to me , and [a kind and careful teacher]5178-a kind and careful teacher to [Adele]259-adele . "[1411-the good lady] " Do n't trouble [yourself]251-mr. rochester to give [her]146-jane a character , "[251-mr. rochester] returned [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : " eulogiums will not bias [me]251-mr. rochester ; [I]251-mr. rochester shall judge for [myself]251-mr. rochester . [She]146-jane began by felling [my]251-mr. rochester horse . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Sir]4374-sir ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . " [I]180-mrs. fairfax have to thank [her]146-jane for this sprain . "[180-mrs. fairfax] [The widow]1549-the widow looked bewildered . " [Miss Eyre]146-jane , have [you]146-jane ever lived in [a town]5180-a town ? "[1549-the widow] " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[251-mr. rochester] " Have [you]146-jane seen much society ? "[251-mr. rochester] " None but [the pupils and [teachers of Lowood]5183-teachers of lowood]5182-the pupils and teachers of lowood , and now [the inmates of [Thornfield]43-thornfield]5184-the inmates of thornfield . "[1549-the widow] " Have [you]146-jane read much ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Only such books as came in [my]251-mr. rochester way ; and they have not been numerous or very learned . "[251-mr. rochester] " [You]146-jane have lived the life of [a nun]5185-a nun : no doubt [you]146-jane are well drilled in religious forms ; - [Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , who [I]1549-the widow understand [directs Lowood]25-lowood , is [a parson]5186-a parson , is [he]196-mr. brocklehurst not ? "[1549-the widow] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[251-mr. rochester] " And [[you]146-jane girls]5188-you girls probably worshipped [him]196-mr. brocklehurst , as [a convent full of [religieuses]5190-religieuses would worship [[their]5189-a convent full of religieuses would worship their director director]5191-their director]5189-a convent full of religieuses would worship their director . "[251-mr. rochester] " Oh , no . "[1549-the widow] " [You]146-jane are very cool ! No ! What ! [a novice]5192-a novice not worship [[her]5192-a novice priest]5193-her priest ! That sounds blasphemous . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester disliked [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst ; and [I]251-mr. rochester was not alone in the feeling . [He]196-mr. brocklehurst is [a harsh man]5194-a harsh man ; at once pompous and meddling ; [he]196-mr. brocklehurst cut off [our]5195-us hair ; and for economy 's sake bought [us]5195-us bad needles and thread , with which [we]5195-us could hardly sew . "[251-mr. rochester] " That was very false economy , "[180-mrs. fairfax] remarked [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , who now again caught the drift of the dialogue . " And was that the head and front of [his]196-mr. brocklehurst offending ? "[251-mr. rochester] demanded [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " [He]196-mr. brocklehurst starved [us]5195-us when [he]196-mr. brocklehurst had the sole superintendence of the provision department , before the committee was appointed ; and [he]196-mr. brocklehurst bored [us]5195-us with long lectures once a week , and with evening readings from books of [his]196-mr. brocklehurst own inditing , about sudden deaths and judgments , which made [us]5195-us afraid to go to bed . "[251-mr. rochester] " What age were [you]0-i when [you]0-i went to [Lowood]25-lowood ? "[251-mr. rochester] " About ten . "[251-mr. rochester] " And [you]0-i stayed [there]4426-there eight years : [you]0-i are now , then , eighteen ? "[0-i] [I]0-i assented . " Arithmetic , [you]0-i see , is useful ; without its aid , [I]0-i should hardly have been able to guess [your]0-i age . It is a point difficult to fix where the features and countenance are so much at variance as in [your]0-i case . And now what did [you]0-i learn at [Lowood]25-lowood ? Can [you]0-i play ? "[0-i] " A little . "[251-mr. rochester] " Of course : that is the established answer . Go into [the library]659-the library - [I]0-i mean , if [you]0-i please . - Excuse [my]0-i tone of command ; [I]0-i am used to say , ' Do this , ' and it is done : [I]0-i can not alter [my]0-i customary habits for one new inmate . - Go , then , into [the library]659-the library ; take a candle with [you]0-i ; leave the door open ; sit down to the piano , and play a tune . "[0-i] [I]0-i departed , obeying [his]1720-his directions . " Enough ! "[1720-his] [he]1720-his called out in a few minutes . " [You]0-i play A LITTLE , [I]0-i see ; like [any other English school - girl]5199-any other english school - girl ; perhaps rather better than some , but not well . "[0-i] [I]0-i closed the piano and returned . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester continued - " [Adele]259-adele showed [me]251-mr. rochester some sketches this morning , which [she]259-adele said were [yours]0-i . [I]251-mr. rochester do n't know whether they were entirely of [your]0-i doing ; probably [a master aided [you]0-i]5200-a master aided you ? "[251-mr. rochester] " No , indeed ! "[0-i] [I]0-i interjected . " Ah ! that pricks pride . Well , fetch [me]0-i [your]0-i portfolio , if [you]0-i can vouch for its contents being original ; but do n't pass [your]0-i word unless [you]0-i are certain : [I]0-i can recognise patchwork . "[0-i] " Then [I]0-i will say nothing , and [you]0-i shall judge for [yourself]0-i , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] [I]0-i brought the portfolio from [the library]659-the library . " Approach the table , "[1722-he] said [he]1722-he ; and [I]0-i wheeled it to [his]1722-he couch . [Adele]259-adele and [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax drew near to see the pictures . " No crowding , "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : " take the drawings from [my]1722-he hand as [I]1722-he finish with them ; but do n't push [your]0-i faces up to [mine]1722-he . "[1722-he] [He]1722-he deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting . Three [he]1722-he laid aside ; the others , when [he]1722-he had examined them , [he]1722-he swept from [him]1722-he . " Take them off to the other table , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , "[1722-he] said [he]1722-he , " and look at them with [Adele]259-adele ; - [you]180-mrs. fairfax "[1722-he] glancing at [me]0-i " resume [your]0-i seat , and answer [my]1722-he questions . [I]1722-he perceive those pictures were done by one hand : was that hand [yours]0-i ? "[1722-he] " Yes . "[1722-he] " And when did [you]0-i find time to do them ? They have taken much time , and some thought . "[1722-he] " [I]1722-he did them in the last two vacations [I]1722-he spent at [Lowood]25-lowood , when [I]1722-he had no other occupation . "[1722-he] " Where did [you]0-i get [your]0-i copies ? "[1722-he] " Out of [my]1722-he head . "[1722-he] " That head [I]1722-he see now on [your]0-i shoulders ? "[1722-he] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[1722-he] " Has it other furniture of the same kind within ? "[1722-he] " [I]0-i should think it may have : [I]0-i should hope - better . "[0-i] [He]0-i spread the pictures before [him]0-i , and again surveyed them alternately . While [he]0-i is so occupied , [I]0-i will tell [you]1723-you , [reader]496-reader , what they are : and first , [I]0-i must premise that they are nothing wonderful . [The subjects]1725-the subjects had , indeed , risen vividly on [my]0-i mind . As [I]0-i saw them with the spiritual eye , before [I]0-i attempted to embody them , they were striking ; but [my]0-i hand would not second [my]0-i fancy , and in each case it had wrought out but a pale portrait of the thing [I]0-i had conceived . These pictures were in water - colours . The first represented clouds low and livid , rolling over [a swollen sea]1726-a swollen sea : all the distance was in eclipse ; so , too , was the foreground ; or rather , the nearest billows , for there was [no land]1727-no land . One gleam of light lifted into relief a half - submerged mast , on which sat a cormorant , dark and large , with wings flecked with foam ; its beak held a gold bracelet set with gems , that [I]0-i had touched with as brilliant tints as [my]0-i palette could yield , and as glittering distinctness as [my]0-i pencil could impart . Sinking below the bird and mast , [a drowned corpse]1728-a drowned corpse glanced through the green water ; a fair arm was the only limb clearly visible , whence the bracelet had been washed or torn . The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of [a hill , with grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze]1729-a hill , with grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze . Beyond and above spread an expanse of sky , dark blue as at twilight : rising into the sky was [a woman]4399-a woman 's shape to the bust , portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as [I]0-i could combine . The dim forehead was crowned with a star ; the lineaments below were seen as through the suffusion of vapour ; the eyes shone dark and wild ; the hair streamed shadowy , like a beamless cloud torn by storm or by electric travail . On the neck lay a pale reflection like moonlight ; the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds from which rose and bowed this vision of the Evening Star . The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky : a muster of northern lights reared their dim lances , close serried , along the horizon . Throwing these into distance , rose , in the foreground , a head , - a colossal head , inclined towards the iceberg , and resting against it . [Two thin hands , joined under the forehead , and supporting it]1731-two thin hands , joined under the forehead , and supporting it , drew up before the lower features a sable veil , a brow quite bloodless , white as bone , and an eye hollow and fixed , blank of meaning but for the glassiness of despair , alone were visible . Above the temples , amidst wreathed turban folds of black drapery , vague in its character and consistency as cloud , gleamed a ring of white flame , gemmed with sparkles of a more lurid tinge . This pale crescent was " the likeness of a kingly crown ; "[1732-he] what it diademed was " the shape which shape had none . "[1732-he] " Were [you]251-mr. rochester happy when [you]251-mr. rochester painted these pictures ? "[251-mr. rochester] asked [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester presently . " [I]251-mr. rochester was absorbed , [sir]4374-sir : yes , and [I]251-mr. rochester was happy . To paint them , in short , was to enjoy one of the keenest pleasures [I]251-mr. rochester have ever known . "[251-mr. rochester] " That is not saying much . [Your]251-mr. rochester pleasures , by [your]251-mr. rochester own account , have been few ; but [I]1732-he daresay [you]251-mr. rochester did exist in a kind of [artist]5204-artist 's dreamland while [you]251-mr. rochester blent and arranged these strange tints . Did [you]251-mr. rochester sit at them long each day ? "[1732-he] " [I]251-mr. rochester had nothing else to do , because it was the vacation , and [I]251-mr. rochester sat at them from morning till noon , and from noon till night : the length of the midsummer days favoured [my]251-mr. rochester inclination to apply . "[251-mr. rochester] " And [you]251-mr. rochester felt self - satisfied with the result of [your]251-mr. rochester ardent labours ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Far from it . [I]1732-he was tormented by the contrast between [my]1732-he idea and [my]1732-he handiwork : in each case [I]1732-he had imagined something which [I]1732-he was quite powerless to realise . "[1732-he] " Not quite : [you]251-mr. rochester have secured the shadow of [your]251-mr. rochester thought ; but no more , probably . [You]251-mr. rochester had not enough of [the artist]5205-the artist 's skill and science to give it full being : yet the drawings are , for [a school - girl]5206-a school - girl , peculiar . As to the thoughts , they are elfish . These eyes in the Evening Star [you]251-mr. rochester must have seen in a dream . How could [you]251-mr. rochester make them look so clear , and yet not at all brilliant ? for the planet above quells their rays . And what meaning is that in their solemn depth ? And who taught [you]251-mr. rochester to paint wind ? There is a high gale in that sky , and on [this hill - top]5207-this hill - top . Where did [you]251-mr. rochester see [Latmos]61-latmos ? For that is [Latmos]61-latmos . There ! put the drawings away ! "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio , when , looking at [his]1732-he watch , [he]1732-he said abruptly - " It is nine o'clock : what are [you]0-i about , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , to let [Adele]259-adele sit up so long ? Take [her]259-adele to bed . "[1732-he] [Adele]259-adele went to kiss [him]1732-he before quitting [the room]535-the room : [he]1732-he endured the caress , but scarcely seemed to relish it more than [Pilot]267-pilot would have done , nor so much . " [I]1732-he wish [you]0-i all good - night , now , "[1732-he] said [he]1732-he , making a movement of the hand towards the door , in token that [he]1732-he was tired of [our]1734-our company , and wished to dismiss [us]1734-our . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax folded up [her]180-mrs. fairfax knitting : [I]0-i took [my]0-i portfolio : [we]1734-our curtseyed to [him]1732-he , received a frigid bow in return , and so withdrew . " [You]180-mrs. fairfax said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was not strikingly peculiar , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , "[0-i] [I]0-i observed , when [I]0-i rejoined [her]180-mrs. fairfax in [[her]180-mrs. fairfax room]1588-her room , after putting [Adele]259-adele to bed . " Well , is [he]1732-he ? "[0-i] " [I]180-mrs. fairfax think so : [he]1732-he is very changeful and abrupt . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " True : no doubt [he]1732-he may appear so to [a stranger]799-a stranger , but [I]0-i am so accustomed to [his]1732-he manner , [I]0-i never think of it ; and then , if [he]1732-he has peculiarities of temper , allowance should be made . "[0-i] " Why ? "[0-i] " Partly because it is [his]1732-he nature - and [we]5209-we can none of [us]5209-we help [our]5209-we nature ; and partly because [he]1732-he has painful thoughts , no doubt , to harass [him]1732-he , and make [his]1732-he spirits unequal . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " What about ? "[0-i] " Family troubles , for one thing . "[0-i] " But [he]1732-he has [no family]4979-no family . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Not now , but [he]1732-he has had - or , at least , [relatives]5211-relatives . [He]1732-he lost [[his]1732-he elder brother]5212-his elder brother a few years since . "[0-i] " [[His]1732-he [ELDER brother]5214-elder brother]5212-his elder brother ? "[0-i] " Yes . [The present Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has not been very long in possession of [the property]5215-the property ; only about nine years . "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Nine years is a tolerable time . Was [he]1732-he so very fond of [[his]1732-he brother]5216-his brother as to be still inconsolable for [his]1732-he loss ? "[0-i] " Why , no - perhaps not . [I]0-i believe there were some misunderstandings between [them]5217-them . [Mr. Rowland Rochester]251-mr. rochester was not quite just to [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward ; and perhaps [he]251-mr. rochester prejudiced [[his]251-mr. rochester father]5218-his father against [him]251-mr. rochester . [The old gentleman]5219-the old gentleman was fond of money , and anxious to keep [the family estate]5220-the family estate together . [He]5219-the old gentleman did not like to diminish [the property]5215-the property by division , and yet [he]5219-the old gentleman was anxious that [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward should have wealth , too , to keep up the consequence of the name ; and , soon after [he]5219-the old gentleman was of age , some steps were taken that were not quite fair , and made a great deal of mischief . [Old Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [Mr. Rowland]251-mr. rochester combined to bring [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward into what [he]273-mr. edward considered a painful position , for the sake of making [his]273-mr. edward fortune : what the precise nature of that position was [I]0-i never clearly knew , but [his]273-mr. edward spirit could not brook what [he]273-mr. edward had to suffer in it . [He]273-mr. edward is not very forgiving : [he]273-mr. edward broke with [[his]273-mr. edward family]1092-his family , and now for many years [he]273-mr. edward has led an unsettled kind of life . [I]0-i do n't think [he]273-mr. edward has ever been resident at [Thornfield]43-thornfield for a fortnight together , since the death of [[his]273-mr. edward brother]5216-his brother without a will left [him]273-mr. edward [master of [the estate]5225-the estate]5224-master of the estate ; and , indeed , no wonder [he]273-mr. edward shuns [the old place]5226-the old place . "[0-i] " Why should [he]273-mr. edward shun it ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] " Perhaps [he]273-mr. edward thinks it gloomy . "[0-i] The answer was evasive . [I]0-i should have liked something clearer ; but [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax either could not , or would not , give [me]0-i more explicit information of the origin and nature of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's trials . [She]180-mrs. fairfax averred they were a mystery to [herself]180-mrs. fairfax , and that what [she]180-mrs. fairfax knew was chiefly from conjecture . It was evident , indeed , that [she]180-mrs. fairfax wished [me]0-i to drop the subject , which [I]0-i did accordingly . CHAPTER XIV For several subsequent days [I]0-i saw little of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . In the mornings [he]251-mr. rochester seemed much engaged with business , and , in the afternoon , [[gentlemen]475-gentlemen from [Millcote]44-millcote]1737-gentlemen from millcote or [the neighbourhood]1738-the neighbourhood called , and sometimes stayed to dine with [him]251-mr. rochester . When [his]251-mr. rochester sprain was well enough to admit of horse exercise , [he]251-mr. rochester rode out a good deal ; probably to return these visits , as [he]251-mr. rochester generally did not come back till late at night . During this interval , even [Adele]259-adele was seldom sent for to [his]251-mr. rochester presence , and all [my]0-i acquaintance with [him]251-mr. rochester was confined to an occasional rencontre in [the hall]608-the hall , on the stairs , or in [the gallery]1740-the gallery , when [he]251-mr. rochester would sometimes pass [me]0-i haughtily and coldly , just acknowledging [my]0-i presence by a distant nod or a cool glance , and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike affability . [His]251-mr. rochester changes of mood did not offend [me]0-i , because [I]0-i saw that [I]0-i had nothing to do with [their]1741-their alternation ; the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnected with [me]0-i . One day [he]251-mr. rochester had had company to dinner , and had sent for [my]0-i portfolio ; in order , doubtless , to exhibit its contents : [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen went away early , to attend a public meeting at [Millcote]44-millcote , as [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax informed [me]0-i ; but the night being wet and inclement , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester did not accompany [them]1742-the gentlemen . Soon after [they]1742-the gentlemen were gone [he]251-mr. rochester rang the bell : a message came that [I]0-i and [Adele]259-adele were to go [downstairs]1218-downstairs . [I]0-i brushed [Adele]259-adele 's hair and made [her]259-adele neat , and having ascertained that [I]0-i was [myself]0-i in [my]0-i usual Quaker trim , where there was nothing to retouch - all being too close and plain , braided locks included , to admit of disarrangement - [we]1744-we descended , [Adele]259-adele wondering whether the petit coffre was at length come ; for , owing to some mistake , its arrival had hitherto been delayed . [She]259-adele was gratified : there it stood , a little carton , on the table when [we]1744-we entered [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room . [She]259-adele appeared to know it by instinct . " Ma boite ! ma boite ! "[259-adele] exclaimed [she]259-adele , running towards it . " Yes , there is [your]0-i ' boite ' at last : take it into a corner , [[you]0-i genuine daughter of [Paris]62-paris]5227-you genuine daughter of paris , and amuse [yourself]0-i with disembowelling it , "[251-mr. rochester] said the deep and rather sarcastic voice of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , proceeding from the depths of an immense easy - chair at the fireside . " And mind , "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester continued , " do n't bother [me]251-mr. rochester with any details of the anatomical process , or any notice of the condition of the entrails : let [your]0-i operation be conducted in silence : tiens - toi tranquille , enfant ; comprends - tu ? "[251-mr. rochester] [Adele]259-adele seemed scarcely to need the warning - [she]259-adele had already retired to a sofa with [her]259-adele treasure , and was busy untying the cord which secured the lid . Having removed this impediment , and lifted certain silvery envelopes of tissue paper , [she]259-adele merely exclaimed - " Oh ciel ! Que c'est beau ! "[259-adele] and then remained absorbed in ecstatic contemplation . " Is [Miss Eyre]146-jane [there]4426-there ? "[540-the master] now demanded [the master]540-the master , half rising from [his]540-the master seat to look round to the door , near which [I]0-i still stood . " Ah ! well , come forward ; be seated here . "[540-the master] [He]540-the master drew a chair near [his]540-the master own . " [I]540-the master am not fond of the prattle of [children]524-children , "[540-the master] [he]540-the master continued ; " for , [old bachelor]5230-old bachelor as [I]540-the master am , [I]540-the master have no pleasant associations connected with [their]524-children lisp . It would be intolerable to [me]540-the master to pass a whole evening tete - e - tete with [a brat]5231-a brat . Do n't draw that chair farther off , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ; sit down exactly where [I]540-the master placed it - if [you]146-jane please , that is . Confound [these civilities]5232-these civilities ! [I]540-the master continually forget [them]5232-these civilities . Nor do [I]540-the master particularly affect [simple - minded old ladies]5233-simple - minded old ladies . By - the - bye , [I]540-the master must have [mine]540-the master in mind ; it wo n't do to neglect [her]180-mrs. fairfax ; [she]180-mrs. fairfax is [a Fairfax]5021-a fairfax , or [we]5235-we d to one ; and blood is said to be thicker than water . "[540-the master] [He]1747-he rang , and despatched an invitation to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , who soon arrived , knitting - basket in hand . " Good evening , [madam]4457-madam ; [I]180-mrs. fairfax sent to [you]4457-madam for a charitable purpose . [I]180-mrs. fairfax have forbidden [Adele]259-adele to talk to [me]180-mrs. fairfax about [her]259-adele presents , and [she]259-adele is bursting with repletion : have the goodness to serve [her]259-adele as [auditress and interlocutrice]5237-auditress and interlocutrice ; it will be one of the most benevolent acts [you]4457-madam ever performed . "[180-mrs. fairfax] [Adele]259-adele , indeed , no sooner saw [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , than [she]180-mrs. fairfax summoned [her]259-adele to [her]259-adele sofa , and there quickly filled [her]259-adele lap with the porcelain , the ivory , the waxen contents of [her]259-adele " boite ; "[180-mrs. fairfax] pouring out , meantime , explanations and raptures in such broken English as [she]259-adele was [mistress of]1748-mistress of . " Now [I]251-mr. rochester have performed the part of [a good host]5238-a good host , "[251-mr. rochester] pursued [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , " put [[my]0-i guests]5239-my guests into the way of amusing [each other]724-each other , [I]0-i ought to be at liberty to attend to [my]0-i own pleasure . [Miss Eyre]146-jane , draw [your]146-jane chair still a little farther forward : [you]146-jane are yet too far back ; [I]0-i can not see [you]146-jane without disturbing [my]0-i position in this comfortable chair , which [I]0-i have no mind to do . "[0-i] [I]0-i did as [I]0-i was bid , though [I]0-i would much rather have remained somewhat in the shade ; but [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had such a direct way of giving orders , it seemed a matter of course to obey [him]251-mr. rochester promptly . [We]1749-we were , as [I]0-i have said , in [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room : the lustre , which had been lit for dinner , filled [the room]535-the room with a festal breadth of light ; the large fire was all red and clear ; the purple curtains hung rich and ample before the lofty window and loftier arch ; everything was still , save the subdued chat of [Adele]259-adele [she]259-adele dared not speak loud , and , filling up each pause , the beating of winter rain against the panes . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , as [he]251-mr. rochester sat in [his]251-mr. rochester damask - covered chair , looked different to what [I]0-i had seen [him]251-mr. rochester look before ; not quite so stern - much less gloomy . There was a smile on [his]251-mr. rochester lips , and [his]251-mr. rochester eyes sparkled , whether with wine or not , [I]0-i am not sure ; but [I]0-i think it very probable . [He]251-mr. rochester was , in short , in [his]251-mr. rochester after - dinner mood ; more expanded and genial , and also more self - indulgent than the frigid and rigid temper of the morning ; still [he]251-mr. rochester looked preciously grim , cushioning [his]251-mr. rochester massive head against the swelling back of [his]251-mr. rochester chair , and receiving the light of the fire on [his]251-mr. rochester granite - hewn features , and in [his]251-mr. rochester great , dark eyes ; for [he]251-mr. rochester had great , dark eyes , and very fine eyes , too - not without a certain change in their depths sometimes , which , if it was not softness , reminded [you]1752-you , at least , of that feeling . [He]251-mr. rochester had been looking two minutes at the fire , and [I]0-i had been looking the same length of time at [him]251-mr. rochester , when , turning suddenly , [he]251-mr. rochester caught [my]0-i gaze fastened on [his]251-mr. rochester physiognomy . " [You]0-i examine [me]251-mr. rochester , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester : " do [you]0-i think [me]251-mr. rochester handsome ? "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i should , if [I]0-i had deliberated , have replied to this question by something conventionally vague and polite ; but the answer somehow slipped from [my]0-i tongue before [I]0-i was aware - " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " Ah ! By [my]251-mr. rochester word ! there is something singular about [you]0-i , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester : " [you]0-i have the air of a little nonnette ; quaint , quiet , grave , and simple , as [you]0-i sit with [your]0-i hands before [you]0-i , and [your]0-i eyes generally bent on the carpet except , by - the - bye , when they are directed piercingly to [my]251-mr. rochester face ; as just now , for instance ; and when [one]4415-one asks [you]0-i a question , or makes a remark to which [you]0-i are obliged to reply , [you]0-i rap out a round rejoinder , which , if not blunt , is at least brusque . What do [you]4374-sir mean by it ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [Sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i was too plain ; [I]0-i beg [your]4374-sir pardon . [I]0-i ought to have replied that it was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about appearances ; that tastes mostly differ ; and that beauty is of little consequence , or something of that sort . "[0-i] " [You]4374-sir ought to have replied no such thing . Beauty of little consequence , indeed ! And so , under pretence of softening the previous outrage , of stroking and soothing [me]0-i into placidity , [you]4374-sir stick a sly penknife under [my]0-i ear ! Go on : what fault do [you]4374-sir find with [me]0-i , pray ? [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i have all [my]0-i limbs and all [my]0-i features like [any other man]5244-any other man ? "[0-i] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , allow [me]251-mr. rochester to disown [my]251-mr. rochester first answer : [I]251-mr. rochester intended no pointed repartee : it was only a blunder . "[251-mr. rochester] " Just so : [I]1753-i think so : and [you]251-mr. rochester shall be answerable for it . Criticise [me]1753-i : does [my]1753-i forehead not please [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1753-i] [He]1753-i lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally over [his]1753-i brow , and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs , but an abrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence should have risen . " Now , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , am [I]1753-i [a fool]1546-a fool ? "[1753-i] " Far from it , [sir]4374-sir . [You]4374-sir would , perhaps , think [me]251-mr. rochester rude if [I]251-mr. rochester inquired in return whether [you]1753-i are [a philanthropist]5248-a philanthropist ? "[251-mr. rochester] " There again ! Another stick of the penknife , when [she]5249-she pretended to pat [my]1753-i head : and that is because [I]1753-i said [I]1753-i did not like the society of [children]524-children and [old women]5251-old women low be it spoken ! . No , [young lady]5252-young lady , [I]1753-i am not [a general philanthropist]5253-a general philanthropist ; but [I]1753-i bear a conscience ; "[1753-i] and [he]1753-i pointed to the prominences which are said to indicate that faculty , and which , fortunately for [him]1753-i , were sufficiently conspicuous ; giving , indeed , a marked breadth to the upper part of [his]1753-i head : " and , besides , [I]1753-i once had a kind of rude tenderness of heart . When [I]1753-i was as old as [you]4374-sir , [I]1753-i was a feeling fellow enough , partial to the unfledged , unfostered , and unlucky ; but [Fortune]274-fortune has knocked [me]1753-i about since : [she]5249-she has even kneaded [me]1753-i with [her]5249-she knuckles , and now [I]1753-i flatter [myself]1753-i [I]1753-i am hard and tough as an India - rubber ball ; pervious , though , through a chink or two still , and with one sentient point in the middle of the lump . Yes : does that leave hope for [me]1753-i ? "[1753-i] " Hope of what , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1753-i] " Of [my]1753-i final re - transformation from [India]63-india - rubber back to flesh ? "[1753-i] " Decidedly [he]1753-i has had too much wine , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought ; and [I]0-i did not know what answer to make to [his]1753-i queer question : how could [I]0-i tell whether [he]1753-i was capable of being re - transformed ? " [You]0-i looked very much puzzled , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ; and though [you]0-i are not pretty any more than [I]1753-i am handsome , yet a puzzled air becomes [you]0-i ; besides , it is convenient , for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from [my]1753-i physiognomy , and busies [them]5255-them with the worsted flowers of the rug ; so puzzle on . [Young lady]5252-young lady , [I]1753-i am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to - night . "[1753-i] With this announcement [he]1753-i rose from [his]1753-i chair , and stood , leaning [his]1753-i arm on the marble mantelpiece : in that attitude [his]1753-i shape was seen plainly as well as [his]1753-i face ; [his]1753-i unusual breadth of chest , disproportionate almost to [his]1753-i length of limb . [I]0-i am sure [most people]1754-most people would have thought [him]1753-i [an ugly man]1755-an ugly man ; yet there was so much unconscious pride in [his]1753-i port ; so much ease in [his]1753-i demeanour ; such a look of complete indifference to [his]1753-i own external appearance ; so haughty a reliance on the power of other qualities , intrinsic or adventitious , to atone for the lack of mere personal attractiveness , that , in looking at [him]1753-i , [one]4415-one inevitably shared the indifference , and , even in a blind , imperfect sense , put faith in the confidence . " [I]1753-i am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to - night , "[1753-i] [he]1753-i repeated , " and that is why [I]1753-i sent for [you]0-i : the fire and the chandelier were not sufficient company for [me]1753-i ; nor would [Pilot]267-pilot have been , for none of these can talk . [Adele]259-adele is a degree better , but still far below the mark ; [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ditto ; [you]0-i , [I]1753-i am persuaded , can suit [me]1753-i if [you]0-i will : [you]0-i puzzled [me]1753-i the first evening [I]1753-i invited [you]0-i down here . [I]1753-i have almost forgotten [you]0-i since : other ideas have driven [yours]0-i from [my]1753-i head ; but to - night [I]1753-i am resolved to be at ease ; to dismiss what importunes , and recall what pleases . It would please [me]1753-i now to draw [you]0-i out - to learn more of [you]0-i - therefore speak . "[1753-i] Instead of speaking , [I]0-i smiled ; and not a very complacent or submissive smile either . " Speak , "[1757-i] [he]1757-i urged . " What about , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1757-i] " Whatever [you]4374-sir like . [I]275-accordingly leave both the choice of subject and the manner of treating it entirely to [yourself]0-i . "[275-accordingly] [Accordingly]275-accordingly [I]0-i sat and said nothing : " If [he]1757-i expects [me]0-i to talk for the mere sake of talking and showing off , [he]1757-i will find [he]1757-i has addressed [himself]1757-i to [the wrong person]5258-the wrong person , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought . " [You]0-i are dumb , [Miss Eyre]146-jane . "[0-i] [I]0-i was dumb still . [He]1757-i bent [his]1757-i head a little towards [me]0-i , and with a single hasty glance seemed to dive into [my]0-i eyes . " Stubborn ? "[1757-i] [he]1757-i said , " and annoyed . Ah ! it is consistent . [I]1757-i put [my]1757-i request in an absurd , almost insolent form . [Miss Eyre]146-jane , [I]1757-i beg [your]146-jane pardon . The fact is , once for all , [I]1757-i do n't wish to treat [you]146-jane like [an inferior]5259-an inferior : that is "[1757-i] correcting [himself]1757-i , " [I]1757-i claim only such superiority as must result from twenty years ' difference in age and a century 's advance in experience . This is legitimate , et j'y tiens , as [Adele]259-adele would say ; and it is by virtue of this superiority , and this alone , that [I]1757-i desire [you]146-jane to have the goodness to talk to [me]1757-i a little now , and divert [my]1757-i thoughts , which are galled with dwelling on one point - cankering as a rusty nail . "[1757-i] [He]1757-i had deigned an explanation , almost an apology , and [I]0-i did not feel insensible to [his]1757-i condescension , and would not seem so . " [I]0-i am willing to amuse [you]146-jane , if [I]0-i can , [sir]4374-sir - quite willing ; but [I]0-i can not introduce a topic , because how do [I]0-i know what will interest [you]146-jane ? Ask [me]0-i questions , and [I]0-i will do [my]0-i best to answer them . "[0-i] " Then , in the first place , do [you]146-jane agree with [me]1757-i that [I]1757-i have a right to be a little masterful , abrupt , perhaps exacting , sometimes , on the grounds [I]1757-i stated , namely , that [I]1757-i am old enough to be [[your]146-jane father]4318-your father , and that [I]1757-i have battled through a varied experience with [many men of many nations]5262-many men of many nations , and roamed over half [the globe]5263-the globe , while [you]146-jane have lived quietly with one set of [people]4493-people in [one house]5265-one house ? "[1757-i] " Do as [you]4374-sir please , [sir]4374-sir . "[1757-i] " That is no answer ; or rather it is a very irritating , because a very evasive one . Reply clearly . "[0-i] " [I]1757-i do n't think , [sir]4374-sir , [you]4374-sir have a right to command [me]1757-i , merely because [you]4374-sir are older than [I]1757-i , or because [you]4374-sir have seen more of [the world]484-the world than [I]1757-i have ; [your]4374-sir claim to superiority depends on the use [you]4374-sir have made of [your]4374-sir time and experience . "[1757-i] " [Humph]276-humph ! Promptly spoken . But [I]0-i wo n't allow that , seeing that it would never suit [my]0-i case , as [I]0-i have made an indifferent , not to say a bad , use of both advantages . Leaving superiority out of the question , then , [you]4374-sir must still agree to receive [my]0-i orders now and then , without being piqued or hurt by the tone of command . Will [you]4374-sir ? "[0-i] [I]0-i smiled : [I]0-i thought to [myself]0-i [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester IS peculiar - [he]251-mr. rochester seems to forget that [he]251-mr. rochester pays [me]0-i 30 pounds per annum for receiving [his]251-mr. rochester orders . " The smile is very well , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester , catching instantly the passing expression ; " but speak too . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester was thinking , [sir]4374-sir , that [very few masters]5270-very few masters would trouble [themselves]5270-very few masters to inquire whether or not [[their]5270-very few masters paid subordinates]5271-their paid subordinates were piqued and hurt by [their]5270-very few masters orders . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Paid subordinates]5272-paid subordinates ! What ! [you]4374-sir are [[my]251-mr. rochester paid subordinate]5273-my paid subordinate , are [you]4374-sir ? Oh yes , [I]251-mr. rochester had forgotten the salary ! Well then , on that mercenary ground , will [you]4374-sir agree to let [me]251-mr. rochester hector a little ? "[251-mr. rochester] " No , [sir]4374-sir , not on that ground ; but , on the ground that [you]4374-sir did forget it , and that [you]4374-sir care whether or not [a dependent]4316-a dependent is comfortable in [his]4316-a dependent dependency , [I]251-mr. rochester agree heartily . "[251-mr. rochester] " And will [you]4374-sir consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms and phrases , without thinking that the omission arises from insolence ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester am sure , [sir]4374-sir , [I]251-mr. rochester should never mistake informality for insolence : one [I]251-mr. rochester rather like , [the other nothing free - born]5277-the other nothing free - born would submit to , even for a salary . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Humbug]277-humbug ! Most things [free - born]5278-free - born will submit to anything for a salary ; therefore , keep to [yourself]4374-sir , and do n't venture on generalities of which [you]4374-sir are intensely ignorant . However , [I]251-mr. rochester mentally shake hands with [you]4374-sir for [your]4374-sir answer , despite its inaccuracy ; and as much for the manner in which it was said , as for the substance of the speech ; the manner was frank and sincere ; [one]4415-one does not often see such a manner : no , on the contrary , affectation , or coldness , or stupid , coarse - minded misapprehension of one 's meaning are the usual rewards of candour . [Not three in three thousand raw school - girl - governesses]5280-not three in three thousand raw school - girl - governesses would have answered [me]251-mr. rochester as [you]4374-sir have just done . But [I]251-mr. rochester do n't mean to flatter [you]4374-sir : if [you]4374-sir are cast in a different mould to [the majority]5281-the majority , it is no merit of [yours]4374-sir : [Nature]278-nature did it . And then , after all , [I]251-mr. rochester go too fast in [my]251-mr. rochester conclusions : for what [I]251-mr. rochester yet know , [you]4374-sir may be no better than the rest ; [you]4374-sir may have intolerable defects to counterbalance [your]4374-sir few good points . "[251-mr. rochester] " And so may [you]1758-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought . [My]0-i eye met [his]1758-i as the idea crossed [my]0-i mind : [he]1758-i seemed to read the glance , answering as if its import had been spoken as well as imagined - " Yes , yes , [you]0-i are right , "[1758-i] said [he]1758-i ; " [I]1758-i have plenty of faults of [my]1758-i own : [I]1758-i know it , and [I]1758-i do n't wish to palliate [them]5282-them , [I]1758-i assure [you]0-i . [God]180-mrs. fairfax wot [I]1758-i need not be too severe about [others]1041-others ; [I]1758-i have a past existence , a series of deeds , a colour of life to contemplate within [my]1758-i own breast , which might well call [my]1758-i sneers and censures from [[my]1758-i neighbours]5284-my neighbours to [myself]1758-i . [I]1758-i started , or rather for like [other defaulters]5285-other defaulters , [I]1758-i like to lay half the blame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances was thrust on to a wrong tack at the age of one - and- twenty , and have never recovered the right course since : but [I]1758-i might have been very different ; [I]1758-i might have been as good as [you]0-i - wiser - almost as stainless . [I]1758-i envy [you]0-i [your]0-i peace of mind , [your]0-i clean conscience , [your]0-i unpolluted memory . [Little girl]4432-little girl , a memory without blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure - an inexhaustible source of pure refreshment : is it not ? "[1758-i] " How was [your]1758-i memory when [you]1758-i were eighteen , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1758-i] " All right then ; limpid , salubrious : no gush of bilge water had turned it to fetid puddle . [I]1758-i was [[your]0-i equal]5288-your equal at eighteen - quite [[your]0-i equal]5288-your equal . Nature meant [me]1758-i to be , on the whole , [a good man]4605-a good man , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ; [one of the better kind]5291-one of the better kind , and [you]0-i see [I]1758-i am not so . [You]0-i would say [you]0-i do n't see it ; at least [I]1758-i flatter [myself]1758-i [I]1758-i read as much in [your]0-i eye beware , by - the - bye , what [you]0-i express with that organ ; [I]1758-i am quick at interpreting its language . Then take [my]1758-i word for it , - [I]1758-i am not [a villain]5292-a villain : [you]0-i are not to suppose that - not to attribute to [me]1758-i any such bad eminence ; but , owing , [I]1758-i verily believe , rather to circumstances than to [my]1758-i natural bent , [I]1758-i am [a trite commonplace sinner , hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich and worthless]5293-a trite commonplace sinner , hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich and worthless try to put on life . Do [you]0-i wonder that [I]1758-i avow this to [you]0-i ? Know , that in the course of [your]0-i future life [you]0-i will often find [yourself]0-i elected [the involuntary confidant of [[your]0-i acquaintances]5295-your acquaintances ' secrets]5294-the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances ' secrets : [people]4493-people will instinctively find out , as [I]1758-i have done , that it is not [your]0-i forte to tell of [yourself]0-i , but to listen while [others]1041-others talk of [themselves]1041-others ; [they]1041-others will feel , too , that [you]0-i listen with no malevolent scorn of [their]1041-others indiscretion , but with a kind of innate sympathy ; not the less comforting and encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations . "[1758-i] " How do [you]1758-i know ? - how can [you]1758-i guess all this , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1758-i] " [I]1758-i know it well ; therefore [I]1758-i proceed almost as freely as if [I]1758-i were writing [my]1758-i thoughts in a diary . [You]0-i would say , [I]1758-i should have been superior to circumstances ; so [I]1758-i should - so [I]1758-i should ; but [you]0-i see [I]1758-i was not . When fate wronged [me]1758-i , [I]1758-i had not the wisdom to remain cool : [I]1758-i turned desperate ; then [I]1758-i degenerated . Now , when [any vicious simpleton]5299-any vicious simpleton excites [my]1758-i disgust by [his]5299-any vicious simpleton paltry ribaldry , [I]1758-i can not flatter [myself]1758-i that [I]1758-i am better than [he]5299-any vicious simpleton : [I]1758-i am forced to confess that [he]5299-any vicious simpleton and [I]1758-i are on a level . [I]1758-i wish [I]1758-i had stood firm - [God]180-mrs. fairfax knows [I]1758-i do ! Dread remorse when [you]0-i are tempted to err , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ; remorse is the poison of life . "[1758-i] " Repentance is said to be its cure , [sir]4374-sir . "[1758-i] " It is not [its]5301-its cure . [Reformation]279-reformation may be [its]5301-its cure ; and [I]1758-i could reform - [I]1758-i have strength yet for that - if - but where is the use of thinking of it , hampered , burdened , cursed as [I]1758-i am ? Besides , since happiness is irrevocably denied [me]1758-i , [I]1758-i have a right to get pleasure out of life : and [I]1758-i WILL get it , cost what it may . "[1758-i] " Then [you]1758-i will degenerate still more , [sir]4374-sir . "[1758-i] " Possibly : yet why should [I]1758-i , if [I]1758-i can get sweet , fresh pleasure ? And [I]1758-i may get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on [the moor]5303-the moor . "[1758-i] " It will sting - it will taste bitter , [sir]4374-sir . "[1758-i] " How do [you]4374-sir know ? - [you]4374-sir never tried it . How very serious - how very solemn [you]4374-sir look : and [you]4374-sir are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head "[1758-i] taking one from the mantelpiece . " [You]4374-sir have no right to preach to [me]1758-i , [you]4374-sir neophyte , that have not passed the porch of life , and are absolutely unacquainted with its mysteries . "[1758-i] " [I]1758-i only remind [you]4374-sir of [your]4374-sir own words , [sir]4374-sir : [you]4374-sir said error brought remorse , and [you]4374-sir pronounced remorse the poison of existence . "[1758-i] " And who talks of error now ? [I]1758-i scarcely think the notion that flittered across [my]1758-i brain was an error . [I]1758-i believe it was an inspiration rather than a temptation : it was very genial , very soothing - [I]1758-i know that . Here it comes again ! It is no devil , [I]1758-i assure [you]4374-sir ; or if it be , it has put on the robes of [an angel of light]5306-an angel of light . [I]1758-i think [I]1758-i must admit so fair [a guest]5307-a guest when it asks entrance to [my]1758-i heart . "[1758-i] " Distrust it , [sir]4374-sir ; it is not [a true angel]5309-a true angel . "[1758-i] " Once more , how do [you]4374-sir know ? By what instinct do [you]4374-sir pretend to distinguish between [a fallen seraph of the abyss]5310-a fallen seraph of the abyss and [a messenger from the eternal throne]5311-a messenger from the eternal throne - between [a guide]5312-a guide and [a seducer]5313-a seducer ? "[1758-i] " [I]1758-i judged by [your]4374-sir countenance , [sir]4374-sir , which was troubled when [you]4374-sir said the suggestion had returned upon [you]4374-sir . [I]1758-i feel sure it will work [you]4374-sir more misery if [you]4374-sir listen to it . "[1758-i] " Not at all - it bears the most gracious message in [the world]484-the world : for the rest , [you]4374-sir are not [[my]1759-you conscience - keeper]5316-my conscience - keeper , so do n't make [yourself]4374-sir uneasy . Here , come in , [bonny wanderer]5317-bonny wanderer ! "[1759-you] [He]1759-you said this as if [he]1759-you spoke to a vision , viewless to any eye but [his]1759-you own ; then , folding [his]1759-you arms , which [he]1759-you had half extended , on [his]1759-you chest , [he]1759-you seemed to enclose in [their]1760-their embrace [the invisible being]1761-the invisible being . " Now , "[1759-you] [he]1759-you continued , again addressing [me]0-i , " [I]1759-you have received [the pilgrim]5318-the pilgrim - [a disguised deity]5319-a disguised deity , as [I]1759-you verily believe . Already it has done [me]1759-you good : [my]1759-you heart was a sort of charnel ; it will now be a shrine . "[1759-you] " To speak truth , [sir]4374-sir , [I]1759-you do n't understand [you]4374-sir at all : [I]1759-you can not keep up the conversation , because it has got out of [my]1759-you depth . Only one thing , [I]1759-you know : [you]4374-sir said [you]4374-sir were not as good as [you]4374-sir should like to be , and that [you]4374-sir regretted [your]4374-sir own imperfection ; - one thing [I]1759-you can comprehend : [you]4374-sir intimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane . It seems to [me]1759-you , that if [you]4374-sir tried hard , [you]4374-sir would in time find it possible to become what [you]4374-sir [yourself]4374-sir would approve ; and that if from this day [you]4374-sir began with resolution to correct [your]4374-sir thoughts and actions , [you]4374-sir would in a few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections , to which [you]4374-sir might revert with pleasure . "[1759-you] " Justly thought ; rightly said , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ; and , at this moment , [I]1759-you am paving hell with energy . "[1759-you] " [Sir]4374-sir ? "[1759-you] " [I]1759-you am laying down good intentions , which [I]1759-you believe durable as flint . Certainly , [[my]1759-you associates]5322-my associates and pursuits shall be other than [they]5322-my associates have been . "[1759-you] " And better ? "[1759-you] " And better - so much better as pure ore is than [foul dross]5323-foul dross . [You]4374-sir seem to doubt [me]1759-you ; [I]1759-you do n't doubt [myself]1759-you : [I]1759-you know what [my]1759-you aim is , what [my]1759-you motives are ; and at this moment [I]1759-you pass a law , unalterable as that of [the Medes]5324-the medes and [Persians]280-persians , that both are right . "[1759-you] " [They]5322-my associates can not be , [sir]4374-sir , if [they]5322-my associates require a new statute to legalise [them]5322-my associates . "[1759-you] " [They]5322-my associates are , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , though [they]5322-my associates absolutely require a new statute : unheard - of combinations of circumstances demand unheard - of rules . "[1759-you] " That sounds a dangerous maxim , [sir]4374-sir ; because one can see at once that it is liable to abuse . "[1759-you] " [Sententious sage]5327-sententious sage ! so it is : but [I]1759-you swear by [my]1759-you household gods not to abuse it . "[1759-you] " [You]1759-you are human and fallible . "[1759-you] " [I]1759-you am : so are [you]1759-you - what then ? "[1759-you] " [The human and fallible]5328-the human and fallible should not arrogate a power with which the divine and perfect alone can be safely intrusted . "[1759-you] " What power ? "[1759-you] " That of saying of any strange , unsanctioned line of action , - ' Let it be right . ' "[1759-you] " ' Let it be right ' - the very words : [you]1759-you have pronounced them . "[1759-you] " MAY it be right then , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , as [I]0-i rose , deeming it useless to continue a discourse which was all darkness to [me]0-i ; and , besides , sensible that the character of [[my]0-i interlocutor]1762-my interlocutor was beyond [my]0-i penetration ; at least , beyond its present reach ; and feeling the uncertainty , the vague sense of insecurity , which accompanies a conviction of ignorance . " Where are [you]1759-you going ? "[259-adele] " To put [Adele]259-adele to bed : it is past [her]259-adele bedtime . "[259-adele] " [You]1759-you are afraid of [me]259-adele , because [I]259-adele talk like a Sphynx . "[259-adele] " [Your]1759-you language is enigmatical , [sir]4374-sir : but though [I]259-adele am bewildered , [I]259-adele am certainly not afraid . "[259-adele] " [You]1759-you ARE afraid - [your]1759-you self - love dreads a blunder . "[259-adele] " In that sense [I]259-adele do feel apprehensive - [I]259-adele have no wish to talk nonsense . "[259-adele] " If [you]1759-you did , it would be in such a grave , quiet manner , [I]259-adele should mistake it for sense . Do [you]1759-you never laugh , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ? Do n't trouble [yourself]1759-you to answer - [I]259-adele see [you]1759-you laugh rarely ; but [you]1759-you can laugh very merrily : believe [me]259-adele , [you]1759-you are not naturally austere , any more than [I]259-adele am naturally vicious . The Lowood constraint still clings to [you]1759-you somewhat ; controlling [your]1759-you features , muffling [your]1759-you voice , and restricting [your]1759-you limbs ; and [you]1759-you fear in the presence of [a man]4429-a man and [a brother]5331-a brother - or [father]718-father , or [master]4335-master , or what [you]1759-you will - to smile too gaily , speak too freely , or move too quickly : but , in time , [I]259-adele think [you]1759-you will learn to be natural with [me]259-adele , as [I]259-adele find it impossible to be conventional with [you]1759-you ; and then [your]1759-you looks and movements will have more vivacity and variety than [they]5334-they dare offer now . [I]259-adele see at intervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close - set bars of a cage : [a vivid , restless , resolute captive]5335-a vivid , restless , resolute captive is there ; were it but free , it would soar cloud - high . [You]1759-you are still bent on going ? "[259-adele] " It has struck nine , [sir]4374-sir . "[259-adele] " Never mind , - wait a minute : [Adele]259-adele is not ready to go to bed yet . [My]259-adele position , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , with [my]259-adele back to the fire , and [my]259-adele face to [the room]535-the room , favours observation . While talking to [you]1759-you , [I]259-adele have also occasionally watched [Adele]259-adele [I]259-adele have [my]259-adele own reasons for thinking [her]259-adele a curious study , - reasons that [I]259-adele may , nay , that [I]259-adele shall , impart to [you]1759-you some day . [She]259-adele pulled out of [her]259-adele box , about ten minutes ago , a little pink silk frock ; rapture lit [her]259-adele face as [she]259-adele unfolded it ; coquetry runs in [her]259-adele blood , blends with [her]259-adele brains , and seasons the marrow of [her]259-adele bones . ' Il faut que je l'essaie ! ' cried [she]259-adele , ' et e l'instant meme ! ' and [she]259-adele rushed out of [the room]535-the room . [She]259-adele is now with [Sophie]256-sophie , undergoing a robing process : in a few minutes [she]259-adele will re - enter ; and [I]259-adele know what [I]259-adele shall see , - a miniature of [Celine Varens]281-celine , as [she]281-celine used to appear on the boards at the rising of - But never mind that . However , [my]259-adele tenderest feelings are about to receive a shock : such is [my]259-adele presentiment ; stay now , to see whether it will be realised . "[259-adele] Ere long , [Adele]259-adele 's little foot was heard tripping across [the hall]608-the hall . [She]259-adele entered , transformed as [[her]259-adele guardian]1764-her guardian had predicted . A dress of rose - coloured satin , very short , and as full in the skirt as it could be gathered , replaced the brown frock [she]259-adele had previously worn ; a wreath of rosebuds circled [her]259-adele forehead ; [her]259-adele feet were dressed in silk stockings and small white satin sandals . " Est - ce que ma robe va bien ? "[259-adele] cried [she]259-adele , bounding forwards ; " et mes souliers ? et [mes]5339-mes bas ? Tenez , je crois que je vais danser ! "[259-adele] And spreading out [her]259-adele dress , [she]259-adele chasseed across [the room]535-the room till , having reached [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [she]259-adele wheeled lightly round before [him]251-mr. rochester on tip - toe , then dropped on one knee at [his]251-mr. rochester feet , exclaiming - " [Monsieur]5146-monsieur , je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte ; "[259-adele] then rising , [she]259-adele added , " C'est comme cela que maman faisait , n'est - ce pas , [monsieur]5146-monsieur ? "[259-adele] " Pre - cise - ly ! "[259-adele] was the answer ; " and , ' comme cela , ' [she]259-adele charmed [my]259-adele English gold out of [my]259-adele British breeches ' pocket . [I]259-adele have been green , too , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , - ay , grass green : not a more vernal tint freshens [you]5342-you now than once freshened [me]259-adele . [My]259-adele Spring is gone , however , but it has left [me]259-adele that French floweret on [my]259-adele hands , which , in some moods , [I]259-adele would fain be rid of . Not valuing now the root whence it sprang ; having found that it was of a sort which nothing but gold dust could manure , [I]259-adele have but half a liking to the blossom , especially when it looks so artificial as just now . [I]259-adele keep it and rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous sins , great or small , by one good work . [I]259-adele 'll explain all this some day . Good - night . "[259-adele] CHAPTER XV [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester did , on a future occasion , explain it . It was one afternoon , when [he]251-mr. rochester chanced to meet [me]0-i and [Adele]259-adele in [the grounds]772-the grounds : and while [she]259-adele played with [Pilot]267-pilot and [her]259-adele shuttlecock , [he]251-mr. rochester asked [me]0-i to walk up and down [a long beech avenue]1767-a long beech avenue within sight of [her]259-adele . [He]251-mr. rochester then said that [she]259-adele was [the daughter of [a French opera - dancer]1768-a french opera - dancer , [Celine Varens]281-celine , towards whom [he]251-mr. rochester had once cherished what [he]251-mr. rochester called a " grande passion]5343-the daughter of a french opera - dancer , celine varens , towards whom he had once cherished what he called a " grande passion . "[251-mr. rochester] This passion [Celine]281-celine had professed to return with even superior ardour . [He]251-mr. rochester thought [himself]251-mr. rochester [[her]281-celine idol]1769-her idol , ugly as [he]251-mr. rochester was : [he]251-mr. rochester believed , as [he]251-mr. rochester said , that [she]281-celine preferred [his]251-mr. rochester " taille d'athlete "[251-mr. rochester] to the elegance of the Apollo Belvidere . " And , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , so much was [I]1770-i flattered by this preference of the Gallic sylph for [[her]259-adele British gnome]5344-her british gnome , that [I]1770-i installed [her]259-adele in [an hotel]5056-an hotel ; gave [her]259-adele a complete establishment of [servants]4989-servants , [a carriage]776-a carriage , cashmeres , diamonds , dentelles , c. In short , [I]1770-i began the process of ruining [myself]1770-i in the received style , like [any other spoony]5348-any other spoony . [I]1770-i had not , it seems , the originality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction , but trode [the old track]5349-the old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from [the beaten centre]5350-the beaten centre . [I]1770-i had - as [I]1770-i deserved to have - the fate of all other spoonies . Happening to call one evening when [Celine]281-celine did not expect [me]1770-i , [I]1770-i found [her]259-adele out ; but it was a warm night , and [I]1770-i was tired with strolling through [Paris]62-paris , so [I]1770-i sat down in [[her]259-adele boudoir]5351-her boudoir ; happy to breathe the air consecrated so lately by [her]259-adele presence . No , - [I]1770-i exaggerate ; [I]1770-i never thought there was any consecrating virtue about [her]259-adele : it was rather a sort of pastille perfume [she]259-adele had left ; a scent of musk and amber , than an odour of sanctity . [I]1770-i was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of conservatory flowers and sprinkled essences , when [I]1770-i bethought [myself]1770-i to open the window and step out on to [the balcony]5352-the balcony . It was moonlight and gaslight besides , and very still and serene . [The balcony]5352-the balcony was furnished with a chair or two ; [I]1770-i sat down , and took out a cigar , - [I]1770-i will take one now , if [you]5354-you will excuse [me]1770-i . "[1770-i] Here ensued a pause , filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar ; having placed it to [his]1770-i lips and breathed a trail of [Havannah]282-havannah incense on the freezing and sunless air , [he]1770-i went on - " [I]1770-i liked bonbons too in those days , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , and [I]1770-i was croquant - overlook the barbarism - croquant chocolate comfits , and smoking alternately , watching meantime the equipages that rolled along [the fashionable streets]5355-the fashionable streets towards [the neighbouring opera - house]5356-the neighbouring opera - house , when in [an elegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses]5357-an elegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of english horses , and distinctly seen in the brilliant city - night , [I]1770-i recognised the ' voiture ' [I]1770-i had given [Celine]281-celine . [She]281-celine was returning : of course [my]1770-i heart thumped with impatience against the iron rails [I]1770-i leant upon . [The carriage]654-the carriage stopped , as [I]1770-i had expected , at [the hotel]5359-the hotel door ; [my]1770-i flame that is the very word for an opera inamorata alighted : though muffed in a cloak - an unnecessary encumbrance , by - the - bye , on so warm a June evening - [I]1770-i knew [her]281-celine instantly by [her]281-celine little foot , seen peeping from the skirt of [her]281-celine dress , as [she]281-celine skipped from the carriage - step . Bending over [the balcony]5352-the balcony , [I]1770-i was about to murmur ' Mon ange ' - in a tone , of course , which should be audible to the ear of love alone - when [a figure]5361-a figure jumped from [the carriage]654-the carriage after [her]281-celine ; cloaked also ; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement , and that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched porte cochere of [the hotel]5359-the hotel . "[1770-i] [You]1771-you never felt jealousy , did [you]1771-you , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ? Of course not : [I]0-i need not ask [you]1771-you ; because [you]1771-you never felt love . [You]1771-you have both sentiments yet to experience : [your]1771-you soul sleeps ; the shock is yet to be given which shall waken it . [You]1771-you think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in which [your]1771-you youth has hitherto slid away . Floating on with closed eyes and muffled ears , [you]1771-you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the bed of the flood , nor hear the breakers boil at their base . But [I]0-i tell [you]1771-you - and [you]1771-you may mark [my]0-i words - [you]1771-you will come some day to [a craggy pass in [the channel]1773-the channel , where the whole of life 's stream]1772-a craggy pass in the channel , where the whole of life 's stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult , foam and noise : either [you]1771-you will be dashed to atoms on crag points , or lifted up and borne on by some master - wave into a calmer current - as [I]0-i am now . " [I]0-i like this day ; [I]0-i like that sky of steel ; [I]0-i like the sternness and stillness of [the world]484-the world under this frost . [I]0-i like [Thornfield]43-thornfield , [its]43-thornfield antiquity , [its]43-thornfield retirement , [its]43-thornfield old crow - trees and thorn - trees , [its]43-thornfield grey facade , and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin : and yet how long have [I]0-i abhorred the very thought of it , shunned it like [a great plague - house]5365-a great plague - house ? How [I]0-i do still abhor - "[0-i] [He]0-i ground [his]0-i teeth and was silent : [he]0-i arrested [his]0-i step and struck [his]0-i boot against the hard ground . Some hated thought seemed to have [him]0-i in its grip , and to hold [him]0-i so tightly that [he]0-i could not advance . [We]1774-we were ascending [the avenue]1775-the avenue when [he]0-i thus paused ; [the hall]608-the hall was before [us]1774-we . Lifting [his]0-i eye to its battlements , [he]0-i cast over [them]1777-them a glare such as [I]0-i never saw before or since . Pain , shame , ire , impatience , disgust , detestation , seemed momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large pupil dilating under [his]0-i ebon eyebrow . Wild was the wrestle which should be paramount ; but another feeling rose and triumphed : something hard and cynical : self - willed and resolute : it settled [his]0-i passion and petrified [his]0-i countenance : [he]0-i went on - " During the moment [I]0-i was silent , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , [I]0-i was arranging a point with [my]0-i destiny . [She]146-jane stood there , by that beech - trunk - a hag like [one of those who appeared to [Macbeth]283-macbeth on [the heath of [Forres]64-forres]5367-the heath of forres]5366-one of those who appeared to macbeth on the heath of forres . ' [You]0-i like [Thornfield]43-thornfield ? ' [she]146-jane said , lifting [her]146-jane finger ; and then [she]146-jane wrote in the air a memento , which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along [the house]4322-the house - front , between the upper and lower row of windows , ' Like it if [you]0-i can ! Like it if [you]0-i dare ! ' "[0-i] ' [I]0-i will like it , ' said [I]0-i ; ' [I]0-i dare like it ; ' and " [he]0-i subjoined moodily "[0-i] [I]0-i will keep [my]0-i word ; [I]0-i will break obstacles to happiness , to goodness - yes , goodness . [I]0-i wish to be [a better man]1778-a better man than [I]0-i have been , than [I]0-i am ; as [Job]199-job 's leviathan broke the spear , the dart , and the habergeon , hindrances which [others]1041-others count as iron and brass , [I]0-i will esteem but straw and rotten wood . " [Adele]259-adele here ran before [him]0-i with [her]259-adele shuttlecock . "[256-sophie] Away ! " [he]0-i cried harshly ; "[256-sophie] keep at a distance , [child]4354-child ; or go in to [Sophie]256-sophie ! " Continuing then to pursue [his]0-i walk in silence , [I]256-sophie ventured to recall [him]0-i to the point whence [he]0-i had abruptly diverged - "[256-sophie] Did [you]0-i leave [the balcony]5352-the balcony , [sir]4374-sir , " [I]0-i asked , "[0-i] when [Mdlle]284-mdlle . [Varens]281-celine entered ? " [I]281-celine almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well - timed question , but , on the contrary , waking out of [his]0-i scowling abstraction , [he]0-i turned [his]0-i eyes towards [me]281-celine , and the shade seemed to clear off [his]0-i brow . "[281-celine] Oh , [I]0-i had forgotten [Celine]281-celine ! Well , to resume . When [I]0-i saw [[my]0-i charmer]1783-my charmer thus come in accompanied by [a cavalier]1784-a cavalier , [I]0-i seemed to hear a hiss , and the green snake of jealousy , rising on undulating coils from [the moonlit balcony]1785-the moonlit balcony , glided within [my]0-i waistcoat , and ate its way in two minutes to [my]0-i heart 's core . Strange ! " [he]0-i exclaimed , suddenly starting again from the point . "[0-i] Strange that [I]0-i should choose [you]1786-you for [the confidant of all this]1787-the confidant of all this , [young lady]5252-young lady ; passing strange that [you]1786-you should listen to [me]0-i quietly , as if it were the most usual thing in [the world]484-the world for [a man like [me]0-i]1790-a man like me to tell stories of [his]1790-a man like me opera - mistresses to [a quaint , inexperienced girl like [you]1786-you]1791-a quaint , inexperienced girl like you ! But the last singularity explains the first , as [I]0-i intimated once before : [you]1786-you , with [your]1786-you gravity , considerateness , and caution were made to be the recipient of secrets . Besides , [I]0-i know what sort of a mind [I]0-i have placed in communication with [my]0-i own : [I]0-i know it is one not liable to take infection : it is a peculiar mind : it is a unique one . Happily [I]0-i do not mean to harm [it]1792-it : but , if [I]0-i did , it would not take harm from [me]0-i . The more [you]1786-you and [I]0-i converse , the better ; for while [I]0-i can not blight [you]1786-you , [you]1786-you may refresh [me]0-i . " After this digression [he]0-i proceeded - "[0-i] [I]0-i remained in [the balcony]5352-the balcony . ' [They]1794-they will come to [[her]1795-her boudoir]5351-her boudoir , no doubt , ' thought [I]0-i : ' let [me]0-i prepare an ambush . ' So putting [my]0-i hand in through the open window , [I]0-i drew the curtain over it , leaving only an opening through which [I]0-i could take observations ; then [I]0-i closed the casement , all but a chink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to [lovers]1797-lovers ' whispered vows : then [I]0-i stole back to [my]0-i chair ; and as [I]0-i resumed it [the pair]1798-the pair came in . [My]0-i eye was quickly at the aperture . [[Celine]281-celine 's chamber - maid]1799-celine 's chamber - maid entered , lit a lamp , left it on the table , and withdrew . [The couple]1800-the couple were thus revealed to [me]0-i clearly : [both]710-both removed [their]710-both cloaks , and there was ' [the Varens]281-celine , ' shining in satin and jewels , - [my]0-i gifts of course , - and there was [[her]281-celine companion]1802-her companion in [an officer]1803-an officer 's uniform ; and [I]0-i knew [him]1802-her companion for [a young roue of a vicomte]1804-a young roue of a vicomte - [a brainless and vicious youth whom [I]0-i had sometimes met in society , and had never thought of hating because [I]0-i despised [him]1802-her companion so absolutely]1805-a brainless and vicious youth whom i had sometimes met in society , and had never thought of hating because i despised him so absolutely . On recognising [him]1802-her companion , the fang of the snake Jealousy was instantly broken ; because at the same moment [my]0-i love for [Celine]281-celine sank under an extinguisher . [A woman who could betray [me]0-i for [such a rival]1807-such a rival]1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival was not worth contending for ; [she]1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival deserved only scorn ; less , however , than [I]0-i , who had been [her]1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival dupe . " [They]5369-they began to talk ; [their]5369-they conversation eased [me]259-adele completely : frivolous , mercenary , heartless , and senseless , it was rather calculated to weary than enrage [a listener]5370-a listener . A card of mine lay on the table ; this being perceived , brought [my]259-adele name under discussion . [Neither of [them]5369-they]5371-neither of them possessed energy or wit to belabour [me]259-adele soundly , but [they]5369-they insulted [me]259-adele as coarsely as [they]5369-they could in [their]5369-they little way : especially [Celine]281-celine , who even waxed rather brilliant on [my]259-adele personal defects - deformities [she]281-celine termed [them]5369-they . Now it had been [her]281-celine custom to launch out into fervent admiration of what [she]281-celine called [my]259-adele ' beaute male : ' wherein [she]281-celine differed diametrically from [you]259-adele , who told [me]259-adele point - blank , at the second interview , that [you]259-adele did not think [me]259-adele handsome . The contrast struck [me]259-adele at the time and - "[259-adele] [Adele]259-adele here came running up again . " [Monsieur]5372-monsieur , [John]177-st. john has just been to say that [[your]5372-monsieur agent]5373-your agent has called and wishes to see [you]5372-monsieur . "[259-adele] " Ah ! in that case [I]259-adele must abridge . Opening the window , [I]259-adele walked in upon [them]5373-your agent ; liberated [Celine]281-celine from [my]259-adele protection ; gave [her]281-celine notice to vacate [[her]281-celine hotel]5374-her hotel ; offered [her]281-celine a purse for immediate exigencies ; disregarded screams , hysterics , prayers , protestations , convulsions ; made an appointment with [the vicomte]5375-the vicomte for a meeting at [the Bois de Boulogne]5376-the bois de boulogne . Next morning [I]259-adele had the pleasure of encountering [him]177-st. john ; left a bullet in one of [his]177-st. john poor etiolated arms , feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip , and then thought [I]259-adele had done with [the whole crew]5377-the whole crew . But unluckily [the Varens]281-celine , six months before , had given [me]259-adele this filette [Adele]259-adele , who , [she]259-adele affirmed , was [[my]259-adele daughter]5378-my daughter ; and perhaps [she]259-adele may be , though [I]259-adele see no proofs of such grim paternity written in [her]259-adele countenance : [Pilot]267-pilot is more like [me]259-adele than [she]259-adele . Some years after [I]259-adele had broken with [the mother]542-the mother , [she]259-adele abandoned [[her]259-adele child]5380-her child , and ran away to [Italy]65-italy with [a musician]5381-a musician or [singer]5382-singer . [I]259-adele acknowledged no natural claim on [Adele]259-adele 's part to be supported by [me]259-adele , nor do [I]259-adele now acknowledge any , for [I]259-adele am not [[her]259-adele father]1141-her father ; but hearing that [she]259-adele was quite destitute , [I]259-adele e'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of [Paris]62-paris , and transplanted it here , to grow up clean in [the wholesome soil]5384-the wholesome soil of [an English country garden]5385-an english country garden . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax found [you]259-adele to train [it]5380-her child ; but now [you]259-adele know that it is [the illegitimate offspring of [a French opera- girl]5387-a french opera- girl]5386-the illegitimate offspring of a french opera- girl , [you]259-adele will perhaps think differently of [your]259-adele post and protegee : [you]259-adele will be coming to [me]259-adele some day with notice that [you]259-adele have found another place - that [you]259-adele beg [me]259-adele to look out for [a new governess]1405-a new governess , c. - Eh ? "[259-adele] " No : [Adele]259-adele is not answerable for either [[her]259-adele mother]767-her mother 's faults or [yours]259-adele : [I]1808-battledore and shuttlecock have a regard for [her]259-adele ; and now that [I]1808-battledore and shuttlecock know [she]259-adele is , in a sense , parentless - forsaken by [[her]259-adele mother]767-her mother and disowned by [you]259-adele , [sir]4374-sir - [I]1808-battledore and shuttlecock shall cling closer to [her]259-adele than before . How could [I]1808-battledore and shuttlecock possibly prefer the spoilt pet of [a wealthy family , who would hate [[her]259-adele governess]1479-her governess as a nuisance , to [a lonely little orphan , who leans towards [her]259-adele as [a friend]5395-a friend]5394-a lonely little orphan , who leans towards her as a friend]5392-a wealthy family , who would hate her governess as a nuisance , to a lonely little orphan , who leans towards her as a friend ? "[1808-battledore and shuttlecock] " Oh , that is the light in which [you]259-adele view it ! Well , [I]0-i must go in now ; and [you]259-adele too : it darkens . "[0-i] But [I]0-i stayed out a few minutes longer with [Adele]259-adele and [Pilot]267-pilot - ran a race with [her]259-adele , and played a game of [battledore and shuttlecock]1808-battledore and shuttlecock . When [we]1809-we went in , and [I]0-i had removed [her]259-adele bonnet and coat , [I]0-i took [her]259-adele on [my]0-i knee ; kept [her]259-adele there an hour , allowing [her]259-adele to prattle as [she]259-adele liked : not rebuking even some little freedoms and trivialities into which [she]259-adele was apt to stray when much noticed , and which betrayed in [her]259-adele a superficiality of character , inherited probably from [[her]259-adele mother]767-her mother , hardly congenial to an English mind . Still [she]259-adele had [her]259-adele merits ; and [I]0-i was disposed to appreciate all that was good in [her]259-adele to the utmost . [I]0-i sought in [her]259-adele countenance and features a likeness to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , but found none : no trait , no turn of expression announced relationship . It was a pity : if [she]259-adele could but have been proved to resemble [him]251-mr. rochester , [he]251-mr. rochester would have thought more of [her]259-adele . It was not till after [I]0-i had withdrawn to [[my]0-i own chamber]1811-my own chamber for the night , that [I]0-i steadily reviewed the tale [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had told [me]0-i . As [he]251-mr. rochester had said , there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of the narrative itself : [a wealthy Englishman]1812-a wealthy englishman 's passion for [a French dancer]1813-a french dancer , and [her]1813-a french dancer treachery to [him]251-mr. rochester , were everyday matters enough , no doubt , in society ; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of emotion which had suddenly seized [him]251-mr. rochester when [he]251-mr. rochester was in the act of expressing the present contentment of [his]251-mr. rochester mood , and [his]251-mr. rochester newly revived pleasure in [the old hall]1814-the old hall and [[its]1814-the old hall environs]1815-its environs . [I]0-i meditated wonderingly on this incident ; but gradually quitting it , as [I]0-i found it for the present inexplicable , [I]0-i turned to the consideration of [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's manner to [myself]0-i . The confidence [he]251-mr. rochester had thought fit to repose in [me]0-i seemed a tribute to [my]0-i discretion : [I]0-i regarded and accepted it as such . [His]251-mr. rochester deportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards [me]0-i than at the first . [I]0-i never seemed in [his]251-mr. rochester way ; [he]251-mr. rochester did not take fits of chilling hauteur : when [he]251-mr. rochester met [me]0-i unexpectedly , the encounter seemed welcome ; [he]251-mr. rochester had always a word and sometimes a smile for [me]0-i : when summoned by formal invitation to [his]251-mr. rochester presence , [I]0-i was honoured by a cordiality of reception that made [me]0-i feel [I]0-i really possessed the power to amuse [him]251-mr. rochester , and that these evening conferences were sought as much for [his]251-mr. rochester pleasure as for [my]0-i benefit . [I]0-i , indeed , talked comparatively little , but [I]0-i heard [him]251-mr. rochester talk with relish . It was [his]251-mr. rochester nature to be communicative ; [he]251-mr. rochester liked to open to a mind unacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways [I]0-i do not mean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways , but such as derived [their]1817-their interest from the great scale on which they were acted , the strange novelty by which they were characterised ; and [I]0-i had a keen delight in receiving the new ideas [he]251-mr. rochester offered , in imagining the new pictures [he]251-mr. rochester portrayed , and following [him]251-mr. rochester in thought through the new regions [he]251-mr. rochester disclosed , never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion . The ease of [his]251-mr. rochester manner freed [me]0-i from painful restraint : the friendly frankness , as correct as cordial , with which [he]251-mr. rochester treated [me]0-i , drew [me]0-i to [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i felt at times as if [he]251-mr. rochester were [[my]0-i relation]1818-my relation rather than [[my]0-i master]4336-my master : yet [he]251-mr. rochester was imperious sometimes still ; but [I]0-i did not mind that ; [I]0-i saw it was [his]251-mr. rochester way . So happy , so gratified did [I]0-i become with this new interest added to life , that [I]0-i ceased to pine after kindred : [my]0-i thin crescent - destiny seemed to enlarge ; the blanks of existence were filled up ; [my]0-i bodily health improved ; [I]0-i gathered flesh and strength . And was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester now ugly in [my]0-i eyes ? No , [reader]496-reader : gratitude , and many associations , all pleasurable and genial , made [his]251-mr. rochester face the object [I]0-i best liked to see ; [his]251-mr. rochester presence in [a room]4381-a room was more cheering than the brightest fire . Yet [I]0-i had not forgotten [his]251-mr. rochester faults ; indeed , [I]0-i could not , for [he]251-mr. rochester brought them frequently before [me]0-i . [He]251-mr. rochester was proud , sardonic , harsh to inferiority of every description : in [my]0-i secret soul [I]0-i knew that [his]251-mr. rochester great kindness to [me]0-i was balanced by unjust severity to [many others]1822-many others . [He]251-mr. rochester was moody , too ; unaccountably so ; [I]0-i more than once , when sent for to read to [him]251-mr. rochester , found [him]251-mr. rochester sitting in [[his]251-mr. rochester library]1823-his library alone , with [his]251-mr. rochester head bent on [his]251-mr. rochester folded arms ; and , when [he]251-mr. rochester looked up , a morose , almost a malignant , scowl blackened [his]251-mr. rochester features . But [I]0-i believed that [his]251-mr. rochester moodiness , [his]251-mr. rochester harshness , and [his]251-mr. rochester former faults of morality [I]0-i say FORMER , for now [he]251-mr. rochester seemed corrected of [them]1824-them had [their]1824-them source in some cruel cross of fate . [I]0-i believed [he]251-mr. rochester was naturally [a man of better tendencies , higher principles , and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed , education]1825-a man of better tendencies , higher principles , and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed , education instilled , or destiny encouraged . [I]0-i thought there were excellent materials in [him]251-mr. rochester ; though for the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and tangled . [I]0-i can not deny that [I]0-i grieved for [his]251-mr. rochester grief , whatever that was , and would have given much to assuage it . Though [I]0-i had now extinguished [my]0-i candle and was laid down in bed , [I]0-i could not sleep for thinking of [his]251-mr. rochester look when [he]251-mr. rochester paused in [the avenue]1775-the avenue , and told how [his]251-mr. rochester destiny had risen up before [him]251-mr. rochester , and dared [him]251-mr. rochester to be happy at [Thornfield]43-thornfield . " Why not ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked [myself]0-i . " What alienates [him]251-mr. rochester from [the house]4322-the house ? Will [he]251-mr. rochester leave [it]43-thornfield again soon ? [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax said [he]251-mr. rochester seldom stayed [here]4312-here longer than a fortnight at a time ; and [he]251-mr. rochester has now been resident eight weeks . If [he]251-mr. rochester does go , the change will be doleful . Suppose [he]251-mr. rochester should be absent spring , summer , and autumn : how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem ! "[0-i] [I]0-i hardly know whether [I]0-i had slept or not after this musing ; at any rate , [I]0-i started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur , peculiar and lugubrious , which sounded , [I]0-i thought , just above [me]0-i . [I]0-i wished [I]0-i had kept [my]0-i candle burning : the night was drearily dark ; [my]0-i spirits were depressed . [I]0-i rose and sat up in bed , listening . The sound was hushed . [I]0-i tried again to sleep ; but [my]0-i heart beat anxiously : [my]0-i inward tranquillity was broken . The clock , far down in [the hall]608-the hall , struck two . Just then it seemed [[my]0-i chamber]1419-my chamber - door was touched ; as if fingers had swept the panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside . [I]0-i said , " Who is there ? "[0-i] Nothing answered . [I]0-i was chilled with fear . All at once [I]0-i remembered that it might be [Pilot]267-pilot , who , when the [kitchen]572-kitchen - door chanced to be left open , not unfrequently found [his]267-pilot way up to the threshold of [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's chamber]1830-mr. rochester 's chamber : [I]0-i had seen [him]267-pilot lying there [myself]0-i in the mornings . The idea calmed [me]0-i somewhat : [I]0-i lay down . Silence composes the nerves ; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through [the whole house]1831-the whole house , [I]0-i began to feel the return of slumber . But it was not fated that [I]0-i should sleep that night . A dream had scarcely approached [my]0-i ear , when it fled affrighted , scared by a marrow - freezing incident enough . This was a demoniac laugh - low , suppressed , and deep - uttered , as it seemed , at the very keyhole of [my]0-i chamber door . The head of [my]0-i bed was near the door , and [I]0-i thought at first [the goblin - laugher]1832-the goblin - laugher stood at [my]0-i bedside - or rather , crouched by [my]0-i pillow : but [I]0-i rose , looked round , and could see nothing ; while , as [I]0-i still gazed , the unnatural sound was reiterated : and [I]0-i knew it came from behind the panels . [My]0-i first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt ; [my]0-i next , again to cry out , " Who is there ? "[0-i] Something gurgled and moaned . Ere long , steps retreated up [the gallery]1740-the gallery towards [the third - storey staircase]1834-the third - storey staircase : a door had lately been made to shut in [that staircase]1835-that staircase ; [I]0-i heard it open and close , and all was still . " Was that [Grace Poole]263-grace poole ? and is [she]263-grace poole possessed with [a devil]5398-a devil ? "[0-i] thought [I.]0-i Impossible now to remain longer by [myself]0-i : [I]0-i must go to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax . [I]0-i hurried on [my]0-i frock and a shawl ; [I]0-i withdrew the bolt and opened the door with a trembling hand . There was a candle burning just outside , and on the matting in [the gallery]1740-the gallery . [I]0-i was surprised at this circumstance : but still more was [I]0-i amazed to perceive the air quite dim , as if filled with smoke ; and , while looking to the right hand and left , to find whence these blue wreaths issued , [I]0-i became further aware of a strong smell of burning . Something creaked : it was a door ajar ; and that door was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's , and the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence . [I]0-i thought no more of [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ; [I]0-i thought no more of [Grace Poole]263-grace poole , or the laugh : in an instant , [I]0-i was within [the chamber]4856-the chamber . Tongues of flame darted round the bed : the curtains were on fire . In the midst of blaze and vapour , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester lay stretched motionless , in deep sleep . " Wake ! wake ! "[0-i] [I]0-i cried . [I]0-i shook [him]251-mr. rochester , but [he]251-mr. rochester only murmured and turned : the smoke had stupefied [him]251-mr. rochester . Not a moment could be lost : the very sheets were kindling , [I]0-i rushed to [his]251-mr. rochester basin and ewer ; fortunately , one was wide and the other deep , and both were filled with water . [I]0-i heaved them up , deluged the bed and [its occupant]1838-its occupant , flew back to [[my]0-i own room]4855-my own room , brought [my]0-i own water - jug , baptized the couch afresh , and , by [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's aid , succeeded in extinguishing the flames which were devouring it . The hiss of the quenched element , the breakage of a pitcher which [I]0-i flung from [my]0-i hand when [I]0-i had emptied it , and , above all , the splash of the shower - bath [I]0-i had liberally bestowed , roused [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester at last . Though it was now dark , [I]0-i knew [he]251-mr. rochester was awake ; because [I]0-i heard [him]251-mr. rochester fulminating strange anathemas at finding [himself]251-mr. rochester lying in a pool of water . " Is there a flood ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester cried . " No , [sir]4374-sir , "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i answered ; " but there has been a fire : get up , do ; [you]251-mr. rochester are quenched now ; [I]0-i will fetch [you]251-mr. rochester a candle . "[0-i] " In the name of [all the elves in [Christendom]66-christendom]5400-all the elves in christendom , is that [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester demanded . " What have [you]251-mr. rochester done with [me]251-mr. rochester , [witch]5401-witch , [sorceress]5402-sorceress ? Who is in [the room]535-the room besides [you]251-mr. rochester ? Have [you]251-mr. rochester plotted to drown [me]251-mr. rochester ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]0-i will fetch [you]251-mr. rochester a candle , [sir]4374-sir ; and , in [Heaven]285-heaven 's name , get up . [Somebody]4813-somebody has plotted something : [you]251-mr. rochester can not too soon find out who and what it is . "[0-i] " There ! [I]0-i am up now ; but at [your]251-mr. rochester peril [you]251-mr. rochester fetch a candle yet : wait two minutes till [I]0-i get into some dry garments , if any dry there be - yes , here is [my]0-i dressing - gown . Now run ! "[0-i] [I]0-i did run ; [I]0-i brought the candle which still remained in [the gallery]1740-the gallery . [He]1841-you took it from [my]0-i hand , held it up , and surveyed the bed , all blackened and scorched , the sheets drenched , the carpet round swimming in water . " What is it ? and who did it ? "[1841-you] [he]1841-you asked . [I]0-i briefly related to [him]1841-you what had transpired : the strange laugh [I]0-i had heard in [the gallery]1740-the gallery : the step ascending to [the third storey]1543-the third storey ; the smoke , - the smell of fire which had conducted [me]0-i to [[his]1841-you room]1844-his room ; in what state [I]0-i had found matters [there]4426-there , and how [I]0-i had deluged [him]1841-you with all the water [I]0-i could lay hands on . [He]1841-you listened very gravely ; [his]1841-you face , as [I]0-i went on , expressed more concern than astonishment ; [he]1841-you did not immediately speak when [I]0-i had concluded . " Shall [I]0-i call [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ? No ; what the deuce would [you]0-i call [her]180-mrs. fairfax for ? What can [she]180-mrs. fairfax do ? Let [her]180-mrs. fairfax sleep unmolested . "[0-i] " Then [I]0-i will fetch [Leah]195-bessie , and wake [John]177-st. john and [[his]177-st. john wife]4986-his wife . "[0-i] " Not at all : just be still . [You]1841-you have a shawl on . If [you]1841-you are not warm enough , [you]1841-you may take [my]1846-i cloak yonder ; wrap it about [you]1841-you , and sit down in the arm - chair : there , - [I]1846-i will put it on . Now place [your]1841-you feet on the stool , to keep them out of the wet . [I]1846-i am going to leave [you]1841-you a few minutes . [I]1846-i shall take the candle . Remain where [you]1841-you are till [I]1846-i return ; be as still as a mouse . [I]1846-i must pay a visit to [the second storey]5407-the second storey . Do n't move , remember , or call [any one]591-any one . "[1846-i] [He]1846-i went : [I]0-i watched the light withdraw . [He]1846-i passed up [the gallery]1740-the gallery very softly , unclosed the staircase door with as little noise as possible , shut it after [him]1846-i , and the last ray vanished . [I]0-i was left in total darkness . [I]0-i listened for some noise , but heard nothing . A very long time elapsed . [I]0-i grew weary : it was cold , in spite of the cloak ; and then [I]0-i did not see the use of staying , as [I]0-i was not to rouse [the house]4322-the house . [I]0-i was on the point of risking [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's displeasure by disobeying [his]251-mr. rochester orders , when the light once more gleamed dimly on [the gallery]1740-the gallery wall , and [I]0-i heard [his]1846-i unshod feet tread the matting . " [I]0-i hope it is [he]1846-i , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " and not something worse . "[0-i] [He]1846-i re - entered , pale and very gloomy . " [I]1846-i have found it all out , "[1846-i] said [he]1846-i , setting [his]1846-i candle down on the washstand ; " it is as [I]1846-i thought . "[1846-i] " How , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1846-i] [He]1846-i made no reply , but stood with [his]1846-i arms folded , looking on the ground . At the end of a few minutes [he]1846-i inquired in rather a peculiar tone - " [I]1846-i forget whether [you]4374-sir said [you]4374-sir saw anything when [you]4374-sir opened [your]4374-sir chamber door . "[1846-i] " No , [sir]4374-sir , only the candlestick on the ground . "[1846-i] " But [you]4374-sir heard an odd laugh ? [You]4374-sir have heard that laugh before , [I]1846-i should think , or something like it ? "[1846-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir : there is [a woman who sews [here]4312-here]5412-a woman who sews here , called [Grace Poole]263-grace poole , - [she]5412-a woman who sews here laughs in that way . [She]5412-a woman who sews here is [a singular person]5414-a singular person . "[1846-i] " Just so . [Grace Poole]263-grace poole - [you]4374-sir have guessed it . [She]5412-a woman who sews here is , as [you]4374-sir say , singular - very . Well , [I]1846-i shall reflect on the subject . Meantime , [I]1846-i am glad that [you]4374-sir are [the only person , besides [myself]1846-i]5415-the only person , besides myself , acquainted with the precise details of to - night 's incident . [You]4374-sir are [no talking fool]5416-no talking fool : say nothing about it . [I]1846-i will account for this state of affairs "[1846-i] pointing to the bed : " and now return to [[your]4374-sir own room]5417-your own room . [I]1846-i shall do very well on the sofa in [the library]659-the library for the rest of the night . It is near four:- in two hours [the servants]546-the servants will be up . "[1846-i] " Good - night , then , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , departing . [He]1850-he seemed surprised - very inconsistently so , as [he]1850-he had just told [me]0-i to go . " What ! "[1850-he] [he]1850-he exclaimed , " are [you]0-i quitting [me]1850-he already , and in that way ? "[1850-he] " [You]0-i said [I]1850-he might go , [sir]4374-sir . "[1850-he] " But not without taking leave ; not without a word or two of acknowledgment and good - will : not , in short , in that brief , dry fashion . Why , [you]0-i have saved [my]1850-he life ! - snatched [me]1850-he from a horrible and excruciating death ! and [you]0-i walk past [me]1850-he as if [we]5422-we were [mutual strangers]5423-mutual strangers ! At least shake hands . "[1850-he] [He]1850-he held out [his]1850-he hand ; [I]0-i gave [him]1850-he [mine]0-i : [he]1850-he took it first in one , them in both [his]1850-he own . " [You]0-i have saved [my]1850-he life : [I]1850-he have a pleasure in owing [you]0-i so immense a debt . [I]1850-he can not say more . Nothing else that has being would have been tolerable to [me]1850-he in the character of [creditor for such an obligation]5424-creditor for such an obligation : but [you]0-i : it is different ; - [I]1850-he feel [your]0-i benefits no burden , [Jane]146-jane . "[1850-he] [He]1850-he paused ; gazed at [me]0-i : words almost visible trembled on [his]1850-he lips,- -but [his]1850-he voice was checked . " Good - night again , [sir]4374-sir . There is no debt , benefit , burden , obligation , in the case . "[1850-he] " [I]1850-he knew , "[1850-he] [he]1850-he continued , " [you]0-i would do [me]1850-he good in some way , at some time ; - [I]1850-he saw it in [your]0-i eyes when [I]1850-he first beheld [you]0-i : [their]5426-their expression and smile did not "[1850-he] - again [he]1850-he stopped - " did not "[1850-he] [he]1850-he proceeded hastily ' strike delight to [my]0-i very inmost heart so for nothing . [People]4493-people talk of natural sympathies ; [I]0-i have heard of [good genii]1852-good genii : there are grains of truth in the wildest fable . [[My]0-i cherished preserver]1853-my cherished preserver , goodnight ! " Strange energy was in [his]1850-he voice , strange fire in [his]1850-he look . "[0-i] [I]0-i am glad [I]0-i happened to be awake , " [I]0-i said : and then [I]0-i was going . "[0-i] What ! [you]1850-he WILL go ? " "[1850-he] [I]0-i am cold , [sir]4374-sir . " "[0-i] Cold ? Yes , - and standing in [a pool]1855-a pool ! Go , then , [Jane]146-jane ; go ! " But [he]1850-he still retained [my]0-i hand , and [I]0-i could not free it . [I]0-i bethought [myself]0-i of an expedient . "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i hear [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax move , [sir]4374-sir , " said [I.]0-i "[180-mrs. fairfax] Well , leave [me]0-i : " [he]1850-he relaxed [his]1850-he fingers , and [I]0-i was gone . [I]0-i regained [my]0-i couch , but never thought of sleep . Till morning dawned [I]0-i was tossed on [a buoyant but unquiet sea]5427-a buoyant but unquiet sea , where billows of trouble rolled under surges of joy . [I]0-i thought sometimes [I]0-i saw beyond [its]5427-a buoyant but unquiet sea wild waters a shore , sweet as [the hills of [Beulah]67-beulah]5428-the hills of beulah ; and now and then a freshening gale , wakened by hope , bore [my]0-i spirit triumphantly towards [the bourne]5429-the bourne : but [I]0-i could not reach it , even in fancy - a counteracting breeze blew off [land]5430-land , and continually drove [me]0-i back . [Sense]286-sense would resist delirium : judgment would warn passion . Too feverish to rest , [I]0-i rose as soon as day dawned . CHAPTER XVI [I]0-i both wished and feared to see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester on the day which followed this sleepless night : [I]0-i wanted to hear [his]251-mr. rochester voice again , yet feared to meet [his]251-mr. rochester eye . During the early part of the morning , [I]0-i momentarily expected [his]251-mr. rochester coming ; [he]251-mr. rochester was not in the frequent habit of entering [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom , but [he]251-mr. rochester did step in for a few minutes sometimes , and [I]0-i had the impression that [he]251-mr. rochester was sure to visit [it]888-the schoolroom that day . But the morning passed just as usual : nothing happened to interrupt the quiet course of [Adele]259-adele 's studies ; only soon after breakfast , [I]0-i heard some bustle in [the neighbourhood]1738-the neighbourhood of [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's chamber]1830-mr. rochester 's chamber , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's voice , and [Leah]195-bessie 's , and [the cook]5434-the cook 's - that is , [[John]177-st. john 's wife]5435-john 's wife - and even [John]177-st. john 's own gruff tones . There were exclamations of "[0-i] What [a mercy master]1857-a mercy master was not burnt in [his]1857-a mercy master bed ! " "[180-mrs. fairfax] It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at night . " "[1857-a mercy master] How providential that [he]1857-a mercy master had presence of mind to think of the water - jug ! " "[1857-a mercy master] [I]0-i wonder [he]1857-a mercy master waked [nobody]4628-nobody ! " "[1857-a mercy master] It is to be hoped [he]1857-a mercy master will not take cold with sleeping on the library sofa , " c. To much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to rights ; and when [I]1857-a mercy master passed [the room]535-the room , in going [downstairs]1218-downstairs to dinner , [I]1857-a mercy master saw through the open door that all was again restored to complete order ; only the bed was stripped of [its]5438-its hangings . [Leah]195-bessie stood up in the window - seat , rubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke . [I]1857-a mercy master was about to address [her]195-bessie , for [I]1857-a mercy master wished to know what account had been given of the affair : but , on advancing , [I]1857-a mercy master saw [a second person]5439-a second person in [the chamber]4856-the chamber - [a woman]4399-a woman sitting on a chair by the bedside , and sewing rings to new curtains . [That woman]5442-that woman was no other than [Grace Poole]263-grace poole . There [she]5442-that woman sat , staid and taciturn - looking , as usual , in [her]5442-that woman brown stuff gown , [her]5442-that woman check apron , white handkerchief , and cap . [She]5442-that woman was intent on [her]5442-that woman work , in which [her]5442-that woman whole thoughts seemed absorbed : on [her]5442-that woman hard forehead , and in [her]5442-that woman commonplace features , was nothing either of the paleness or desperation [one]4415-one would have expected to see marking the countenance of [a woman who had attempted murder]5444-a woman who had attempted murder , and whose intended victim had followed [her]5442-that woman last night to [[her]5442-that woman lair]5445-her lair , and as [I]1857-a mercy master believed , charged [her]5442-that woman with the crime [she]5442-that woman wished to perpetrate . [I]1857-a mercy master was amazed - confounded . [She]5442-that woman looked up , while [I]1857-a mercy master still gazed at [her]5442-that woman : no start , no increase or failure of colour betrayed emotion , consciousness of guilt , or fear of detection . [She]5442-that woman said "[1857-a mercy master] Good morning , [Miss]1859-miss , " in [her]5442-that woman usual phlegmatic and brief manner ; and taking up another ring and more tape , went on with [her]5442-that woman sewing . "[1859-miss] [I]0-i will put [her]1860-she to some test , " thought [I]0-i : ' such absolute impenetrability is past comprehension . "[0-i] " Good morning , [Grace]263-grace poole , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " Has anything happened here ? [I]0-i thought [I]0-i heard [the servants]546-the servants all talking together a while ago . "[0-i] " [Only master]5447-only master had been reading in [his]5447-only master bed last night ; [he]5447-only master fell asleep with [his]5447-only master candle lit , and the curtains got on fire ; but , fortunately , [he]5447-only master awoke before the bed - clothes or the wood - work caught , and contrived to quench the flames with the water in the ewer . "[0-i] " A strange affair ! "[0-i] [I]0-i said , in a low voice : then , looking at [her]1860-she fixedly - " Did [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester wake [nobody]4628-nobody ? Did [no one]593-no one hear [him]251-mr. rochester move ? "[1860-she] [She]1860-she again raised [her]1860-she eyes to [me]0-i , and this time there was something of consciousness in [their]1861-their expression . [She]1860-she seemed to examine [me]0-i warily ; then [she]1860-she answered - " [The servants]546-the servants sleep so far off , [you]0-i know , [Miss]5451-miss , [they]546-the servants would not be likely to hear . [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's room]1553-mrs. fairfax 's room and [yours]0-i are [the nearest to [master]4335-master 's]5453-the nearest to master 's ; but [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax said [she]180-mrs. fairfax heard nothing : when [people]4493-people get elderly , [they]4493-people often sleep heavy . "[1860-she] [She]1860-she paused , and then added , with a sort of assumed indifference , but still in a marked and significant tone - " But [you]0-i are young , [Miss]5456-miss ; and [I]1860-she should say a light sleeper : perhaps [you]0-i may have heard a noise ? "[1860-she] " [I]0-i did , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , dropping [my]0-i voice , so that [Leah]195-bessie , who was still polishing the panes , could not hear [me]0-i , " and at first [I]1860-she thought it was [Pilot]267-pilot : but [Pilot]267-pilot can not laugh ; and [I]1860-she am certain [I]1860-she heard a laugh , and a strange one . "[1860-she] [She]1860-she took a new needleful of thread , waxed it carefully , threaded [her]1860-she needle with a steady hand , and then observed , with perfect composure - " It is hardly likely [master]4335-master would laugh , [I]1860-she should think , [Miss]5458-miss , when [he]4335-master was in such danger : [You]0-i must have been dreaming . "[1860-she] " [I]0-i was not dreaming , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , with some warmth , for [her]1860-she brazen coolness provoked [me]0-i . Again [she]1860-she looked at [me]0-i ; and with the same scrutinising and conscious eye . " Have [you]0-i told [master]4335-master that [you]0-i heard a laugh ? "[1860-she] [she]1860-she inquired . " [I]1860-she have not had the opportunity of speaking to [him]4335-master this morning . "[1860-she] " [You]0-i did not think of opening [your]0-i door and looking out into [the gallery]1740-the gallery ? "[1860-she] [she]1860-she further asked . [She]1860-she appeared to be cross - questioning [me]0-i , attempting to draw from [me]0-i information unawares . The idea struck [me]0-i that if [she]1860-she discovered [I]0-i knew or suspected [her]1860-she guilt , [she]1860-she would be playing of some of [her]1860-she malignant pranks on [me]0-i ; [I]0-i thought it advisable to be on [my]0-i guard . " On the contrary , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , " [I]0-i bolted [my]0-i door . "[0-i] " Then [you]0-i are not in the habit of bolting [your]0-i door every night before [you]0-i get into bed ? "[1860-she] " [Fiend]737-fiend ! [she]1860-she wants to know [my]0-i habits , that [she]1860-she may lay [her]1860-she plans accordingly ! "[0-i] Indignation again prevailed over prudence : [I]0-i replied sharply , " Hitherto [I]0-i have often omitted to fasten the bolt : [I]0-i did not think it necessary . [I]0-i was not aware any danger or annoyance was to be dreaded at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall : but in future "[0-i] and [I]0-i laid marked stress on the words " [I]0-i shall take good care to make all secure before [I]0-i venture to lie down . "[0-i] " It will be wise so to do , "[1862-i] was [her]1862-i answer : " [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood is as quiet as any [I]1862-i know , and [I]1862-i never heard of [the hall]608-the hall being attempted by [robbers]5464-robbers since [it]608-the hall was [a house]4534-a house ; though there are hundreds of pounds ' worth of plate in the plate - closet , as is well known . And [you]5466-you see , for such [a large house]5467-a large house , there are [very few servants]5468-very few servants , because [master]4335-master has never lived [here]4312-here much ; and when [he]4335-master does come , being [a bachelor]5471-a bachelor , [he]4335-master needs little waiting on : but [I]1862-i always think it best to err on the safe side ; a door is soon fastened , and it is as well to have a drawn bolt between one and any mischief that may be about . A deal of [people]4493-people , [Miss]5473-miss , are for trusting all to [Providence]272-providence ; but [I]1862-i say [Providence]272-providence will not dispense with the means , though [He]4335-master often blesses them when they are used discreetly . "[1862-i] And here [she]1863-her closed [her]1863-her harangue : a long one for [her]1863-her , and uttered with the demureness of [a Quakeress]1864-a quakeress . [I]0-i still stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared to [me]0-i [her]1863-her miraculous self - possession and most inscrutable hypocrisy , when [the cook]5434-the cook entered . " [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole , "[5434-the cook] said [she]5434-the cook , addressing [Grace]263-grace poole , " [the servants]546-the servants ' dinner will soon be ready : will [you]287-mrs. poole come down ? "[5434-the cook] " No ; just put [my]5434-the cook pint of porter and bit of pudding on a tray , and [I]5434-the cook 'll carry it [upstairs]552-upstairs . "[5434-the cook] " [You]5434-the cook 'll have some meat ? "[5434-the cook] " Just a morsel , and a taste of cheese , that 's all . "[5434-the cook] " And the sago ? "[5434-the cook] " Never mind it at present : [I]5434-the cook shall be coming down before teatime : [I]5434-the cook 'll make it [myself]5434-the cook . "[5434-the cook] [The cook]5434-the cook here turned to [me]0-i , saying that [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax was waiting for [me]0-i : so [I]0-i departed . [I]0-i hardly heard [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's account of the curtain conflagration during dinner , so much was [I]0-i occupied in puzzling [my]0-i brains over the enigmatical character of [Grace Poole]263-grace poole , and still more in pondering the problem of [her]263-grace poole position at [Thornfield]43-thornfield and questioning why [she]263-grace poole had not been given into custody that morning , or , at the very least , dismissed from [[her]263-grace poole master]1867-her master 's service . [He]1867-her master had almost as much as declared [his]1867-her master conviction of [her]263-grace poole criminality last night : what mysterious cause withheld [him]1867-her master from accusing [her]263-grace poole ? Why had [he]1867-her master enjoined [me]0-i , too , to secrecy ? It was strange : [a bold , vindictive , and haughty gentleman]1868-a bold , vindictive , and haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power of [one of the meanest of [[his]1867-her master dependants]1870-his dependants]1869-one of the meanest of his dependants ; so much in [her]263-grace poole power , that even when [she]263-grace poole lifted [her]263-grace poole hand against [his]1867-her master life , [he]1867-her master dared not openly charge [her]263-grace poole with the attempt , much less punish [her]263-grace poole for it . Had [Grace]263-grace poole been young and handsome , [I]0-i should have been tempted to think that tenderer feelings than prudence or fear influenced [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester in [her]263-grace poole behalf ; but , hard - favoured and matronly as [she]263-grace poole was , the idea could not be admitted . " Yet , "[0-i] [I]0-i reflected , ' [she]263-grace poole has been young once ; [her]263-grace poole youth would be contemporary with [[her]263-grace poole master]1867-her master 's : [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax told [me]0-i once , [she]263-grace poole had lived [here]4312-here many years . [I]0-i do n't think [she]263-grace poole can ever have been pretty ; but , for aught [I]0-i know , [she]263-grace poole may possess originality and strength of character to compensate for the want of personal advantages . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is [an amateur of the decided and eccentric]1873-an amateur of the decided and eccentric : [Grace]263-grace poole is eccentric at least . What if [a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as [his]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his has delivered [him]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his into [her]263-grace poole power , and [she]263-grace poole now exercises over [his]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his actions a secret influence , the result of [his]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his own indiscretion , which [he]1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his can not shake off , and dare not disregard ? " But , having reached this point of conjecture , [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole 's square , flat figure , and uncomely , dry , even coarse face , recurred so distinctly to [my]263-grace poole mind 's eye , that [I]263-grace poole thought , "[263-grace poole] No ; impossible ! [my]0-i supposition can not be correct . Yet , " suggested the secret voice which talks to [us]5476-us in [our]5476-us own hearts , "[251-mr. rochester] [you]1875-you are not beautiful either , and perhaps [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester approves [you]1875-you : at any rate , [you]1875-you have often felt as if [he]251-mr. rochester did ; and last night - remember [his]251-mr. rochester words ; remember [his]251-mr. rochester look ; remember [his]251-mr. rochester voice ! " [I]251-mr. rochester well remembered all ; language , glance , and tone seemed at the moment vividly renewed . [I]251-mr. rochester was now in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom ; [Adele]259-adele was drawing ; [I]251-mr. rochester bent over [her]259-adele and directed [her]259-adele pencil . [She]259-adele looked up with a sort of start . "[251-mr. rochester] Qu ' avez - vous , mademoiselle ? " said [she]259-adele . "[251-mr. rochester] Vos doigts tremblent comme la feuille , et vos joues sont rouges : mais , rouges comme des cerises ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i am hot , [Adele]259-adele , with stooping ! " [She]259-adele went on sketching ; [I]259-adele went on thinking . [I]259-adele hastened to drive from [my]259-adele mind the hateful notion [I]259-adele had been conceiving respecting [Grace Poole]263-grace poole ; it disgusted [me]259-adele . [I]259-adele compared [myself]259-adele with [her]259-adele , and found [we]5478-we were different . [Bessie Leaven]288-bessie leaven had said [I]259-adele was quite [a lady]4932-a lady ; and [she]288-bessie leaven spoke truth - [I]259-adele was [a lady]4932-a lady . And now [I]259-adele looked much better than [I]259-adele did when [Bessie]288-bessie leaven saw [me]259-adele ; [I]259-adele had more colour and more flesh , more life , more vivacity , because [I]259-adele had brighter hopes and keener enjoyments . "[259-adele] Evening approaches , " said [I]259-adele , as [I]259-adele looked towards the window . "[259-adele] [I]0-i have never heard [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's voice or step in [the house]4322-the house to - day ; but surely [I]0-i shall see [him]251-mr. rochester before night : [I]0-i feared the meeting in the morning ; now [I]0-i desire it , because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown impatient . " When dusk actually closed , and when [Adele]259-adele left [me]1877-i to go and play in [the nursery]571-the nursery with [Sophie]256-sophie , [I]1877-i did most keenly desire it . [I]1877-i listened for the bell to ring below ; [I]1877-i listened for [Leah]195-bessie coming up with a message ; [I]1877-i fancied sometimes [I]1877-i heard [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's own tread , and [I]1877-i turned to the door , expecting it to open and admit [him]251-mr. rochester . The door remained shut ; darkness only came in through the window . Still it was not late ; [he]251-mr. rochester often sent for [me]1877-i at seven and eight o'clock , and it was yet but six . Surely [I]1877-i should not be wholly disappointed to- night , when [I]1877-i had so many things to say to [him]251-mr. rochester ! [I]1877-i wanted again to introduce the subject of [Grace Poole]263-grace poole , and to hear what [he]251-mr. rochester would answer ; [I]1877-i wanted to ask [him]251-mr. rochester plainly if [he]251-mr. rochester really believed it was [she]263-grace poole who had made last night 's hideous attempt ; and if so , why [he]251-mr. rochester kept [her]263-grace poole wickedness a secret . It little mattered whether [my]1877-i curiosity irritated [him]251-mr. rochester ; [I]1877-i knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing [him]251-mr. rochester by turns ; it was one [I]1877-i chiefly delighted in , and a sure instinct always prevented [me]1877-i from going too far ; beyond the verge of provocation [I]1877-i never ventured ; on the extreme brink [I]1877-i liked well to try [my]1877-i skill . Retaining every minute form of respect , every propriety of [my]1877-i station , [I]1877-i could still meet [him]251-mr. rochester in argument without fear or uneasy restraint ; this suited both [him]251-mr. rochester and [me]1877-i . A tread creaked on the stairs at last . [Leah]195-bessie made [her]195-bessie appearance ; but it was only to intimate that tea was ready in [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's room]1553-mrs. fairfax 's room . [Thither]289-thither [I]1877-i repaired , glad at least to go [downstairs]1218-downstairs ; for that brought [me]1877-i , [I]1877-i imagined , nearer to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's presence . "[1877-i] [You]1877-i must want [your]1877-i tea , " said [the good lady]1411-the good lady , as [I]1877-i joined [her]1411-the good lady ; "[1877-i] [you]1877-i ate so little at dinner . [I]0-i am afraid , " [she]1411-the good lady continued , "[0-i] [you]1877-i are not well to - day : [you]1877-i look flushed and feverish . " "[1877-i] Oh , quite well ! [I]0-i never felt better . " "[0-i] Then [you]1877-i must prove it by evincing a good appetite ; will [you]1877-i fill the teapot while [I]0-i knit off this needle ? " Having completed [her]1411-the good lady task , [she]1411-the good lady rose to draw down the blind , which [she]1411-the good lady had hitherto kept up , by way , [I]1877-i suppose , of making the most of daylight , though dusk was now fast deepening into total obscurity . "[1877-i] It is fair to - night , " said [she]1411-the good lady , as [she]1411-the good lady looked through the panes , "[1877-i] though not starlight ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has , on the whole , had a favourable day for [his]251-mr. rochester journey . " "[251-mr. rochester] Journey ! - Is [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester gone anywhere ? [I]0-i did not know [he]251-mr. rochester was out . " "[251-mr. rochester] Oh , [he]251-mr. rochester set off the moment [he]251-mr. rochester had breakfasted ! [He]251-mr. rochester is gone to [the Leas]1878-the leas , [[Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton 's place]1879-mr. eshton 's place , ten miles on the other side [Millcote]44-millcote . [I]0-i believe there is quite [a party assembled there]1880-a party assembled there ; [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram , [Sir George Lynn]292-sir george lynn , [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , and [others]1041-others . " "[1041-others] Do [you]0-i expect [him]251-mr. rochester back to - night ? " "[0-i] No - nor to - morrow either ; [I]0-i should think [he]251-mr. rochester is very likely to stay a week or more : when [these fine , fashionable people]1882-these fine , fashionable people get together , [they]1882-these fine , fashionable people are so surrounded by elegance and gaiety , so well provided with all that can please and entertain , [they]1882-these fine , fashionable people are in no hurry to separate . [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen especially are often in request on such occasions ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is so talented and so lively in society , that [I]0-i believe [he]251-mr. rochester is [a general favourite]1884-a general favourite : [the ladies]1885-the ladies are very fond of [him]251-mr. rochester ; though [you]1886-you would not think [his]251-mr. rochester appearance calculated to recommend [him]251-mr. rochester particularly in [their]1885-the ladies eyes : but [I]0-i suppose [his]251-mr. rochester acquirements and abilities , perhaps [his]251-mr. rochester wealth and good blood , make amends for any little fault of look . " "[745-ladies] Are there [ladies]745-ladies at [the Leas]68-the leas ? " "[745-ladies] There are [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton and [[her]294-mrs. eshton three daughters]1888-her three daughters - [very elegant young ladies]1889-very elegant young ladies indeed ; and there are [the Honourable Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax and [Mary Ingram]296-mary ingram , [most beautiful women]1890-most beautiful women , [I]0-i suppose : indeed [I]0-i have seen [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax , six or seven years since , when [she]295-mrs. fairfax was [a girl of eighteen]1891-a girl of eighteen . [She]295-mrs. fairfax came here to a Christmas ball and party [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester gave . [You]1892-you should have seen [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room that day - how richly [it]5079-the dining - room was decorated , how brilliantly lit up ! [I]0-i should think there were [fifty ladies]1894-fifty ladies and [gentlemen]475-gentlemen present - [all of [the first county families]1897-the first county families]1896-all of the first county families ; and [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram was considered [the belle of the evening]1898-the belle of the evening . " "[1892-you] [You]1892-you saw [her]297-miss ingram , [you]1892-you say , [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax : what was [she]297-miss ingram like ? " "[297-miss ingram] Yes , [I]0-i saw [her]297-miss ingram . The dining - room doors were thrown open ; and , as it was Christmas - time , [the servants]546-the servants were allowed to assemble in [the hall]608-the hall , to hear [some of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]1901-some of the ladies sing and play . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would have [me]0-i to come in , and [I]0-i sat down in [a quiet corner]1903-a quiet corner and watched [them]1885-the ladies . [I]0-i never saw a more splendid scene : [the ladies]1885-the ladies were magnificently dressed ; [most of [them]1885-the ladies]1905-most of them - at least [most of [the younger ones]1907-the younger ones]1906-most of the younger ones - looked handsome ; but [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram was certainly [the queen]1908-the queen . " "[297-miss ingram] And what was [she]297-miss ingram like ? " "[297-miss ingram] Tall , fine bust , sloping shoulders ; long , graceful neck : olive complexion , dark and clear ; noble features ; eyes rather like [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's : large and black , and as brilliant as [her]297-miss ingram jewels . And then [she]297-miss ingram had such a fine head of hair ; raven - black and so becomingly arranged : a crown of thick plaits behind , and in front the longest , the glossiest curls [I]0-i ever saw . [She]297-miss ingram was dressed in pure white ; an amber - coloured scarf was passed over [her]297-miss ingram shoulder and across [her]297-miss ingram breast , tied at the side , and descending in long , fringed ends below [her]297-miss ingram knee . [She]297-miss ingram wore an amber - coloured flower , too , in [her]297-miss ingram hair : it contrasted well with the jetty mass of [her]297-miss ingram curls . " "[297-miss ingram] [She]297-miss ingram was greatly admired , of course ? " "[297-miss ingram] Yes , indeed : and not only for [her]297-miss ingram beauty , but for [her]297-miss ingram accomplishments . [She]297-miss ingram was one of [the ladies who sang]1909-the ladies who sang : [a gentleman]638-a gentleman accompanied [her]297-miss ingram on the piano . [She]297-miss ingram and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester sang a duet . " "[297-miss ingram] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? [I]0-i was not aware [he]251-mr. rochester could sing . " "[251-mr. rochester] Oh ! [he]251-mr. rochester has a fine bass voice , and an excellent taste for music . " "[251-mr. rochester] And [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram : what sort of a voice had [she]297-miss ingram ? " "[1911-a very rich and powerful one] [A very rich and powerful one]1911-a very rich and powerful one : [she]297-miss ingram sang delightfully ; it was a treat to listen to [her]297-miss ingram ; - and [she]297-miss ingram played afterwards . [I]0-i am [no judge of music]1912-no judge of music , but [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is ; and [I]0-i heard [him]251-mr. rochester say [her]297-miss ingram execution was remarkably good . " "[251-mr. rochester] And [this beautiful and accomplished lady]1913-this beautiful and accomplished lady , [she]297-miss ingram is not yet married ? " "[297-miss ingram] It appears not : [I]0-i fancy neither [she]297-miss ingram nor [[her]297-miss ingram sister]4922-her sister have very large fortunes . [[Old Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram 's estates]1915-old lord ingram 's estates were chiefly entailed , and [the eldest son]1916-the eldest son came in for everything almost . " "[1916-the eldest son] But [I]0-i wonder [no wealthy nobleman]1917-no wealthy nobleman or [gentleman]1918-gentleman has taken a fancy to [her]297-miss ingram : [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , for instance . [He]251-mr. rochester is rich , is [he]251-mr. rochester not ? " "[251-mr. rochester] Oh ! yes . But [you]0-i see there is a considerable difference in age : [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is nearly forty ; [she]297-miss ingram is but twenty - five . " "[297-miss ingram] What of that ? More unequal matches are made every day . " "[297-miss ingram] True : yet [I]0-i should scarcely fancy [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would entertain an idea of the sort . But [you]0-i eat nothing : [you]0-i have scarcely tasted since [you]0-i began tea . " "[0-i] No : [I]0-i am too thirsty to eat . Will [you]0-i let [me]0-i have another cup ? " [I]1919-you was about again to revert to the probability of a union between [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [the beautiful Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax ; but [Adele]259-adele came in , and the conversation was turned into another channel . When once more alone , [I]1919-you reviewed the information [I]1919-you had got ; looked into [my]1919-you heart , examined its thoughts and feelings , and endeavoured to bring back with a strict hand such as had been straying through imagination 's boundless and trackless waste , into the safe fold of common sense . Arraigned at [[my]1919-you own bar]5485-my own bar , [Memory]298-memory having given [her]297-miss ingram evidence of the hopes , wishes , sentiments [I]1919-you had been cherishing since last night - of the general state of mind in which [I]1919-you had indulged for nearly a fortnight past ; [Reason]299-reason having come forward and told , in [her]297-miss ingram own quiet way a plain , unvarnished tale , showing how [I]1919-you had rejected the real , and rabidly devoured the ideal ; - [I]1919-you pronounced judgment to this effect:- That [a greater fool]5486-a greater fool than [Jane Eyre]146-jane had never breathed the breath of life ; that [a more fantastic idiot]5487-a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited [herself]5487-a more fantastic idiot on sweet lies , and swallowed poison as if it were nectar . "[1919-you] [YOU]1919-you , " [I]1919-you said , "[1919-you] a favourite with [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? [YOU]1919-you gifted with the power of pleasing [him]251-mr. rochester ? [YOU]1919-you of importance to [him]251-mr. rochester in any way ? Go ! [your]1919-you folly sickens [me]0-i . And [you]1919-you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference - equivocal tokens shown by [a gentleman of family]1920-a gentleman of family and [a man of [the world]484-the world]1921-a man of the world to [a dependent]4316-a dependent and [a novice]5192-a novice . How dared [you]1919-you ? [Poor stupid dupe]1925-poor stupid dupe ! - Could not even self - interest make [you]1919-you wiser ? [You]1919-you repeated to [yourself]1919-you this morning the brief scene of last night ? - Cover [your]1919-you face and be ashamed ! [He]251-mr. rochester said something in praise of [your]1919-you eyes , did [he]251-mr. rochester ? [Blind puppy]1926-blind puppy ! Open [their]1926-blind puppy bleared lids and look on [your]1919-you own accursed senselessness ! It does good to [no woman]1927-no woman to be flattered by [[her]1927-no woman superior]1928-her superior , who can not possibly intend to marry [her]1927-no woman ; and it is madness in [all women]1929-all women to let a secret love kindle within [them]1929-all women , which , if unreturned and unknown , must devour the life that feeds it ; and , if discovered and responded to , must lead , ignis - fatus - like , into miry wilds whence there is no extrication . " Listen , then , [Jane Eyre]146-jane , to [your]1919-you sentence : tomorrow , place the glass before [you]1919-you , and draw in chalk [your]1919-you own picture , faithfully , without softening one defect ; omit no harsh line , smooth away no displeasing irregularity ; write under it , ' Portrait of [a Governess]5029-a governess , disconnected , poor , and plain . ' "[1919-you] Afterwards , take a piece of smooth ivory - [you]1919-you have one prepared in [your]1919-you drawing - box : take [your]1919-you palette , mix [your]1919-you freshest , finest , clearest tints ; choose [your]1919-you most delicate camel - hair pencils ; delineate carefully the loveliest face [you]1919-you can imagine ; paint it in [your]1919-you softest shades and sweetest lines , according to the description given by [Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram]295-mrs. fairfax ; remember the raven ringlets , the oriental eye ; - What ! [you]1919-you revert to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester as [a model]1930-a model ! Order ! No snivel ! - no sentiment ! - no regret ! [I]0-i will endure only sense and resolution . Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments , the Grecian neck and bust ; let the round and dazzling arm be visible , and the delicate hand ; omit neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet ; portray faithfully the attire , aerial lace and glistening satin , graceful scarf and golden rose ; call it ' [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax , [an accomplished lady of rank]1931-an accomplished lady of rank . ' " Whenever , in future , [you]1919-you should chance to fancy [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester thinks well of [you]1919-you , take out these two pictures and compare them : say , ' [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester might probably win [that noble lady]5489-that noble lady 's love , if [he]251-mr. rochester chose to strive for it ; is it likely [he]251-mr. rochester would waste a serious thought on [this indigent and insignificant plebeian]5490-this indigent and insignificant plebeian ? ' "[0-i] " [I]0-i 'll do it , "[0-i] [I]0-i resolved : and having framed this determination , [I]0-i grew calm , and fell asleep . [I]0-i kept [my]0-i word . An hour or two sufficed to sketch [my]0-i own portrait in crayons ; and in less than a fortnight [I]0-i had completed an ivory miniature of an imaginary [Blanche Ingram]295-mrs. fairfax . It looked a lovely face enough , and when compared with the real head in chalk , the contrast was as great as self - control could desire . [I]0-i derived benefit from the task : it had kept [my]0-i head and hands employed , and had given force and fixedness to the new impressions [I]0-i wished to stamp indelibly on [my]0-i heart . Ere long , [I]0-i had reason to congratulate [myself]0-i on the course of wholesome discipline to which [I]0-i had thus forced [my]0-i feelings to submit . Thanks to it , [I]0-i was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm , which , had [they]1932-they found [me]0-i unprepared , [I]0-i should probably have been unequal to maintain , even externally . CHAPTER XVII A week passed , and no news arrived of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : ten days , and still [he]251-mr. rochester did not come . [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax said [she]295-mrs. fairfax should not be surprised if [he]251-mr. rochester were to go straight from [the Leas]68-the leas to [London]31-london , and thence to [the Continent]52-the continent , and not show [his]251-mr. rochester face again at [Thornfield]43-thornfield for a year to come ; [he]251-mr. rochester had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected . When [I]0-i heard this , [I]0-i was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart . [I]0-i was actually permitting [myself]0-i to experience a sickening sense of disappointment ; but rallying [my]0-i wits , and recollecting [my]0-i principles , [I]0-i at once called [my]0-i sensations to order ; and it was wonderful how [I]0-i got over the temporary blunder - how [I]0-i cleared up the mistake of supposing [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's movements a matter in which [I]0-i had any cause to take a vital interest . Not that [I]0-i humbled [myself]0-i by a slavish notion of inferiority : on the contrary , [I]0-i just said - " [You]5491-you have nothing to do with [the master of [Thornfield]43-thornfield]5492-the master of thornfield , further than to receive the salary [he]5492-the master of thornfield gives [you]5491-you for teaching [[his]5492-the master of thornfield protegee]5493-his protegee , and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as , if [you]5491-you do [your]5491-you duty , [you]5491-you have a right to expect at [his]5492-the master of thornfield hands . Be sure that is the only tie [he]5492-the master of thornfield seriously acknowledges between [you]5491-you and [him]5492-the master of thornfield ; so do n't make [him]5492-the master of thornfield the object of [your]5491-you fine feelings , [your]5491-you raptures , agonies , and so forth . [He]5492-the master of thornfield is not of [your]5491-you order : keep to [your]5491-you caste , and be too self - respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart , soul , and strength , where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised . "[0-i] [I]0-i went on with [my]0-i day 's business tranquilly ; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across [my]0-i brain of reasons why [I]0-i should quit [Thornfield]43-thornfield ; and [I]0-i kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering conjectures about new situations : these thoughts [I]0-i did not think to check ; they might germinate and bear fruit if [they]1933-they could . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight , when the post brought [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax a letter . " It is from [the master]540-the master , "[295-mrs. fairfax] said [she]295-mrs. fairfax , as [she]295-mrs. fairfax looked at the direction . " Now [I]295-mrs. fairfax suppose [we]1934-we shall know whether [we]1934-we are to expect [his]540-the master return or not . "[295-mrs. fairfax] And while [she]295-mrs. fairfax broke the seal and perused the document , [I]0-i went on taking [my]0-i coffee [we]1934-we were at breakfast : it was hot , and [I]0-i attributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to [my]0-i face . Why [my]0-i hand shook , and why [I]0-i involuntarily spilt half the contents of [my]0-i cup into [my]0-i saucer , [I]0-i did not choose to consider . " Well , [I]295-mrs. fairfax sometimes think [we]1934-we are too quiet ; but [we]1934-we run a chance of being busy enough now : for a little while at least , "[295-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax , still holding the note before [her]295-mrs. fairfax spectacles . Ere [I]0-i permitted [myself]0-i to request an explanation , [I]0-i tied the string of [Adele]259-adele 's pinafore , which happened to be loose : having helped [her]259-adele also to another bun and refilled [her]259-adele mug with milk , [I]0-i said , nonchalantly - " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is not likely to return soon , [I]0-i suppose ? "[0-i] " Indeed [he]251-mr. rochester is - in three days , [he]251-mr. rochester says : that will be next Thursday ; and not alone either . [I]0-i do n't know how many of [the fine people at [the Leas]1878-the leas]5495-the fine people at the leas are coming with [him]251-mr. rochester : [he]251-mr. rochester sends directions for [all the best bedrooms]5497-all the best bedrooms to be prepared ; and [the library]659-the library and [drawing - rooms]5499-drawing - rooms are to be cleaned out ; [I]0-i am to get more kitchen hands from [the George Inn]48-the george inn , at [Millcote]44-millcote , and from wherever else [I]0-i can ; and [the ladies]1885-the ladies will bring [[their]1885-the ladies maids]5501-their maids and [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen [[their]1742-the gentlemen valets]5503-their valets : so [we]5504-we shall have [a full house of [it]5506-it]5505-a full house of it . "[0-i] And [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax swallowed [her]295-mrs. fairfax breakfast and hastened away to commence operations . The three days were , as [she]295-mrs. fairfax had foretold , busy enough . [I]0-i had thought [all the rooms at [Thornfield]43-thornfield]1935-all the rooms at thornfield beautifully clean and well arranged ; but it appears [I]0-i was mistaken . [Three women]1936-three women were got to help ; and such scrubbing , such brushing , such washing of paint and beating of carpets , such taking down and putting up of pictures , such polishing of mirrors and lustres , such lighting of fires in [bedrooms]1937-bedrooms , such airing of sheets and feather - beds on hearths , [I]0-i never beheld , either before or since . [Adele]259-adele ran quite wild in the midst of it : the preparations for [company]1938-company and the prospect of [their]1936-three women arrival , seemed to throw [her]259-adele into ecstasies . [She]259-adele would have [Sophie]256-sophie to look over all [her]259-adele " toilettes , "[259-adele] as [she]259-adele called frocks ; to furbish up [any that were " passees]5507-any that were " passees , "[259-adele] and to air and arrange the new . For [herself]295-mrs. fairfax , [she]295-mrs. fairfax did nothing but caper about in [the front chambers]1939-the front chambers , jump on and off the bedsteads , and lie on the mattresses and piled - up bolsters and pillows before the enormous fires roaring in the chimneys . From school duties [she]295-mrs. fairfax was exonerated : [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax had pressed [me]0-i into [her]295-mrs. fairfax service , and [I]0-i was all day in [the storeroom]4970-the storeroom , helping or hindering [her]295-mrs. fairfax and [the cook]5434-the cook ; learning to make custards and cheese - cakes and French pastry , to truss game and garnish desert - dishes . [The party]1942-the party were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon , in time for dinner at six . During the intervening period [I]0-i had no time to nurse chimeras ; and [I]0-i believe [I]0-i was as active and gay as [anybody]4330-anybody - [Adele]259-adele excepted . Still , now and then , [I]0-i received a damping check to [my]0-i cheerfulness ; and was , in spite of [myself]0-i , thrown back on the region of doubts and portents , and dark conjectures . This was when [I]0-i chanced to see the third - storey staircase door which of late had always been kept locked open slowly , and give passage to the form of [Grace Poole]263-grace poole , in prim cap , white apron , and handkerchief ; when [I]0-i watched [her]295-mrs. fairfax glide along [the gallery]1740-the gallery , [her]295-mrs. fairfax quiet tread muffled in a list slipper ; when [I]0-i saw [her]295-mrs. fairfax look into [the bustling , topsy - turvy bedrooms]1945-the bustling , topsy - turvy bedrooms , - just say a word , perhaps , to [the charwoman]1946-the charwoman about the proper way to polish a grate , or clean a marble mantelpiece , or take stains from papered walls , and then pass on . [She]295-mrs. fairfax would thus descend to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen once a day , eat [her]295-mrs. fairfax dinner , smoke a moderate pipe on the hearth , and go back , carrying [her]295-mrs. fairfax pot of porter with [her]295-mrs. fairfax , for [her]295-mrs. fairfax private solace , in [[her]295-mrs. fairfax own gloomy , upper haunt]1948-her own gloomy , upper haunt . Only one hour in the twenty - four did [she]295-mrs. fairfax pass with [[her]295-mrs. fairfax fellow - servants]1949-her fellow - servants below ; all the rest of [her]295-mrs. fairfax time was spent in [some low - ceiled , oaken chamber of [the second storey]5407-the second storey]1950-some low - ceiled , oaken chamber of the second storey : there [she]295-mrs. fairfax sat and sewed - and probably laughed drearily to [herself]295-mrs. fairfax , - as companionless as [a prisoner in [[his]1952-a prisoner in his dungeon dungeon]1953-his dungeon]1952-a prisoner in his dungeon . The strangest thing of all was , that [not a soul in [the house]4322-the house]1954-not a soul in the house , except [me]0-i , noticed [her]295-mrs. fairfax habits , or seemed to marvel at them : [no one]593-no one discussed [her]295-mrs. fairfax position or employment ; [no one]593-no one pitied [her]295-mrs. fairfax solitude or isolation . [I]0-i once , indeed , overheard part of a dialogue between [Leah]195-bessie and one of [the charwomen]1958-the charwomen , of which [Grace]263-grace poole formed the subject . [Leah]195-bessie had been saying something [I]0-i had not caught , and [the charwoman]1946-the charwoman remarked - " [She]195-bessie gets good wages , [I]1946-the charwoman guess ? "[1946-the charwoman] " Yes , "[195-bessie] said [Leah]195-bessie ; " [I]195-bessie wish [I]195-bessie had as good ; not that [mine]195-bessie are to complain of , - there 's no stinginess at [Thornfield]43-thornfield ; but they 're not one fifth of the sum [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole receives . And [she]195-bessie is laying by : [she]195-bessie goes every quarter to [the bank at [Millcote]44-millcote]5508-the bank at millcote . [I]195-bessie should not wonder but [she]195-bessie has saved enough to keep [her]195-bessie independent if [she]195-bessie liked to leave ; but [I]195-bessie suppose [she]195-bessie 's got used to [the place]1554-the place ; and then [she]195-bessie 's not forty yet , and strong and able for anything . It is too soon for [her]195-bessie to give up business . "[195-bessie] " [She]195-bessie is a good hand , [I]1946-the charwoman daresay , "[1946-the charwoman] said [the charwoman]1946-the charwoman . " Ah ! - [she]195-bessie understands what [she]195-bessie has to do , - [nobody]4628-nobody better , "[195-bessie] rejoined [Leah]195-bessie significantly ; " and it is not [every one]5511-every one could fill [her]195-bessie shoes - not for all the money [she]195-bessie gets . "[195-bessie] " That it is not ! "[195-bessie] was the reply . " [I]195-bessie wonder whether [the master]540-the master - "[195-bessie] [The charwoman]1946-the charwoman was going on ; but here [Leah]195-bessie turned and perceived [me]0-i , and [she]195-bessie instantly gave [[her]195-bessie companion]1802-her companion a nudge . " Does n't [she]195-bessie know ? "[195-bessie] [I]0-i heard [the woman]1963-the woman whisper . [Leah]195-bessie shook [her]195-bessie head , and the conversation was of course dropped . All [I]0-i had gathered from it amounted to this , - that there was a mystery at [Thornfield]43-thornfield ; and that from participation in that mystery [I]0-i was purposely excluded . Thursday came : all work had been completed the previous evening ; carpets were laid down , bed - hangings festooned , radiant white counterpanes spread , toilet tables arranged , furniture rubbed , flowers piled in vases : [both chambers]1964-both chambers and [saloons]1965-saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make them . [The hall]608-the hall , too , was scoured ; and the great carved clock , as well as the steps and banisters of the staircase , were polished to the brightness of glass ; in [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , the sideboard flashed resplendent with plate ; in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room and boudoir , vases of exotics bloomed on all sides . Afternoon arrived : [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax assumed [her]295-mrs. fairfax best black satin gown , [her]295-mrs. fairfax gloves , and [her]295-mrs. fairfax gold watch ; for it was [her]295-mrs. fairfax part to receive [the company]755-the company , - to conduct [the ladies]1885-the ladies to [[their]1885-the ladies rooms]1971-their rooms , c. [Adele]259-adele , too , would be dressed : though [I]0-i thought [she]259-adele had little chance of being introduced to the party that day at least . However , to please [her]259-adele , [I]0-i allowed [Sophie]256-sophie to apparel [her]259-adele in one of [her]259-adele short , full muslin frocks . For [myself]0-i , [I]0-i had no need to make any change ; [I]0-i should not be called upon to quit [[my]0-i sanctum of [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom]1972-my sanctum of the schoolroom ; for a sanctum it was now become to [me]0-i , - " a very pleasant refuge in time of trouble . "[0-i] It had been a mild , serene spring day - one of those days which , towards the end of March or the beginning of April , rise shining over [the earth]663-the earth as heralds of summer . It was drawing to an end now ; but the evening was even warm , and [I]0-i sat at work in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom with the window open . " It gets late , "[295-mrs. fairfax] said [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax , entering in rustling state . " [I]295-mrs. fairfax am glad [I]295-mrs. fairfax ordered dinner an hour after the time [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester mentioned ; for it is past six now . [I]295-mrs. fairfax have sent [John]177-st. john down to the gates to see if there is anything on [the road]4892-the road : one can see a long way from thence in the direction of [Millcote]44-millcote . "[295-mrs. fairfax] [She]295-mrs. fairfax went to the window . " Here [he]177-st. john is ! "[295-mrs. fairfax] said [she]295-mrs. fairfax . " Well , [John]177-st. john "[295-mrs. fairfax] leaning out , " any news ? "[295-mrs. fairfax] " [They]5514-they 're coming , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , "[259-adele] was the answer . " [They]5514-they 'll be here in ten minutes . "[259-adele] [Adele]259-adele flew to the window . [I]0-i followed , taking care to stand on one side , so that , screened by the curtain , [I]0-i could see without being seen . The ten minutes [John]177-st. john had given seemed very long , but at last wheels were heard ; [four equestrians]1976-four equestrians galloped up [the drive]778-the drive , and after [them]1976-four equestrians came [two open carriages]1978-two open carriages . Fluttering veils and waving plumes filled [the vehicles]1979-the vehicles ; [two of [the cavaliers]1981-the cavaliers]1980-two of the cavaliers were [young , dashing - looking gentlemen]1982-young , dashing - looking gentlemen ; [the third]1983-the third was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , on [his]251-mr. rochester black horse , [Mesrour]69-mesrour , Pilot bounding before [him]251-mr. rochester ; at [his]251-mr. rochester side rode [a lady]4932-a lady , and [he]251-mr. rochester and [she]4932-a lady were [the first of [the party]1942-the party]1985-the first of the party . [Her]4932-a lady purple riding - habit almost swept the ground , [her]4932-a lady veil streamed long on the breeze ; mingling with its transparent folds , and gleaming through them , shone rich raven ringlets . " [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ! "[295-mrs. fairfax] exclaimed [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax , and away [she]4932-a lady hurried to [her]4932-a lady post below . [The cavalcade]1987-the cavalcade , following the sweep of [the drive]778-the drive , quickly turned the angle of [the house]4322-the house , and [I]0-i lost sight of [it]4322-the house . [Adele]259-adele now petitioned to go down ; but [I]0-i took [her]259-adele on [my]0-i knee , and gave [her]259-adele to understand that [she]259-adele must not on any account think of venturing in sight of [the ladies]1885-the ladies , either now or at any other time , unless expressly sent for : that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would be very angry , c. " Some natural tears [she]259-adele shed "[251-mr. rochester] on being told this ; but as [I]0-i began to look very grave , [she]259-adele consented at last to wipe them . A joyous stir was now audible in [the hall]608-the hall : [gentlemen]475-gentlemen 's deep tones and [ladies]745-ladies ' silvery accents blent harmoniously together , and distinguishable above all , though not loud , was the sonorous voice of [the master of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall]1994-the master of thornfield hall , welcoming [[his]1994-the master of thornfield hall fair and gallant guests]1995-his fair and gallant guests under [its]53-thornfield hall roof . Then light steps ascended the stairs ; and there was a tripping through [the gallery]1740-the gallery , and soft cheerful laughs , and opening and closing doors , and , for a time , a hush . " Elles changent de toilettes , "[259-adele] said [Adele]259-adele ; who , listening attentively , had followed every movement ; and [she]259-adele sighed . " Chez maman , "[259-adele] said [she]259-adele , " quand il y avait du monde , je le suivais partout , au salon et e leurs chambres ; souvent je regardais les femmes de chambre coiffer et habiller les dames , et c'etait si amusant : comme cela on apprend . "[259-adele] " Do n't [you]259-adele feel hungry , [Adele]259-adele ? "[259-adele] " Mais oui , mademoiselle : voile cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons pas mange . "[259-adele] " Well now , while [the ladies]1885-the ladies are in [[their]1885-the ladies rooms]1971-their rooms , [I]259-adele will venture down and get [you]259-adele something to eat . "[259-adele] And issuing from [[my]0-i asylum]1997-my asylum with precaution , [I]0-i sought a back - stairs which conducted directly to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen . All in [that region]1279-that region was fire and commotion ; the soup and fish were in the last stage of projection , and [the cook]5434-the cook hung over [her]5434-the cook crucibles in a frame of mind and body threatening spontaneous combustion . In [the servants ' hall]2001-the servants ' hall [two coachmen]2002-two coachmen and [[three gentlemen]2003-three gentlemen 's gentlemen]2004-three gentlemen 's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire ; [the abigails]2005-the abigails , [I]0-i suppose , were [upstairs]552-upstairs with [[their]2005-the abigails mistresses]2007-their mistresses ; [the new servants]2008-the new servants , that had been hired from [Millcote]44-millcote , were bustling about everywhere . Threading this chaos , [I]0-i at last reached the larder ; there [I]0-i took possession of a cold chicken , a roll of bread , some tarts , a plate or two and a knife and fork : with this booty [I]0-i made a hasty retreat . [I]0-i had regained [the gallery]1740-the gallery , and was just shutting the back - door behind [me]0-i , when an accelerated hum warned [me]0-i that [the ladies]1885-the ladies were about to issue from [[their]1885-the ladies chambers]2011-their chambers . [I]0-i could not proceed to [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom without passing some of [their]1885-the ladies doors , and running the risk of being surprised with [my]0-i cargo of victualage ; so [I]0-i stood still at this end , which , being windowless , was dark : quite dark now , for the sun was set and twilight gathering . Presently [the chambers]2013-the chambers gave up [[their]2013-the chambers fair tenants]2014-their fair tenants one after another : [each]898-each came out gaily and airily , with dress that gleamed lustrous through the dusk . For a moment [they]1885-the ladies stood grouped together at the other extremity of [the gallery]1740-the gallery , conversing in a key of sweet subdued vivacity : [they]1885-the ladies then descended the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down [a hill]2017-a hill . [Their]1885-the ladies collective appearance had left on [me]0-i an impression of high - born elegance , such as [I]0-i had never before received . [I]0-i found [Adele]259-adele peeping through [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom door , which [she]259-adele held ajar . " What [beautiful ladies]5518-beautiful ladies ! "[259-adele] cried [she]259-adele in English . " Oh , [I]259-adele wish [I]259-adele might go to [them]5518-beautiful ladies ! Do [you]0-i think [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester will send for [us]5519-us by - and - bye , after dinner ? "[259-adele] " No , indeed , [I]259-adele do n't ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has something else to think about . Never mind [the ladies]1885-the ladies to - night ; perhaps [you]0-i will see [them]1885-the ladies to - morrow : here is [your]0-i dinner . "[259-adele] [She]259-adele was really hungry , so the chicken and tarts served to divert [her]259-adele attention for a time . It was well [I]0-i secured this forage , or both [she]259-adele , [I]0-i , and [Sophie]256-sophie , to whom [I]0-i conveyed a share of [our]2019-our repast , would have run a chance of getting no dinner at all : [every one downstairs]2020-every one downstairs was too much engaged to think of [us]2019-our . The dessert was not carried out till after nine and at ten [footmen]2021-footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee - cups . [I]0-i allowed [Adele]259-adele to sit up much later than usual ; for [she]259-adele declared [she]259-adele could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and shutting below , and [people bustling about]2022-people bustling about . Besides , [she]259-adele added , a message might possibly come from [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester when [she]259-adele was undressed ; " et alors quel dommage ! "[0-i] [I]0-i told [her]259-adele stories as long as [she]259-adele would listen to them ; and then for a change [I]0-i took [her]259-adele out into [the gallery]1740-the gallery . [The hall]608-the hall lamp was now lit , and it amused [her]259-adele to look over the balustrade and watch [the servants]546-the servants passing backwards and forwards . When the evening was far advanced , a sound of music issued from [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room , whither the piano had been removed ; [Adele]259-adele and [I]0-i sat down on the top step of [the stairs]2027-the stairs to listen . Presently a voice blent with the rich tones of the instrument ; it was [a lady]4932-a lady who sang , and very sweet [her]4932-a lady notes were . The solo over , a duet followed , and then a glee : a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals . [I]0-i listened long : suddenly [I]0-i discovered that [my]0-i ear was wholly intent on analysing the mingled sounds , and trying to discriminate amidst the confusion of accents those of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; and when it caught them , which it soon did , [it]2029-it found a further task in framing the tones , rendered by distance inarticulate , into words . The clock struck eleven . [I]0-i looked at [Adele]259-adele , whose head leant against [my]0-i shoulder ; [her]259-adele eyes were waxing heavy , so [I]0-i took [her]259-adele up in [my]0-i arms and carried [her]259-adele off to bed . It was near one before [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen and [ladies]745-ladies sought [[their]2032-their chambers]2011-their chambers . The next day was as fine as [its]2034-its predecessor : it was devoted by [the party]1942-the party to an excursion to [some site in [the neighbourhood]1738-the neighbourhood]2036-some site in the neighbourhood . [They]2038-they set out early in the forenoon , [some on horseback]2039-some on horseback , the rest in [carriages]2040-carriages ; [I]0-i witnessed both the departure and the return . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , as before , was [the only lady equestrian]2041-the only lady equestrian ; and , as before , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester galloped at [her]297-miss ingram side ; [the two]2042-the two rode a little apart from [the rest]2043-the rest . [I]0-i pointed out this circumstance to [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax , who was standing at the window with [me]0-i - " [You]295-mrs. fairfax said it was not likely [they]2038-they should think of being married , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , " but [you]295-mrs. fairfax see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester evidently prefers [her]297-miss ingram to [any of [the other ladies]5522-the other ladies]5521-any of the other ladies . "[0-i] " Yes , [I]0-i daresay : no doubt [he]251-mr. rochester admires [her]297-miss ingram . "[0-i] " And [she]297-miss ingram [him]251-mr. rochester , "[0-i] [I]0-i added ; " look how [she]297-miss ingram leans [her]297-miss ingram head towards [him]251-mr. rochester as if [she]297-miss ingram were conversing confidentially ; [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could see [her]297-miss ingram face ; [I]0-i have never had a glimpse of it yet . "[0-i] " [You]0-i will see [her]297-miss ingram this evening , "[295-mrs. fairfax] answered [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax . " [I]295-mrs. fairfax happened to remark to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester how much [Adele]259-adele wished to be introduced to [the ladies]1885-the ladies , and [he]251-mr. rochester said : ' Oh ! let [her]297-miss ingram come into [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room after dinner ; and request [Miss Eyre]146-jane to accompany [her]297-miss ingram . ' "[295-mrs. fairfax] " Yes ; [he]251-mr. rochester said that from mere politeness : [I]0-i need not go , [I]0-i am sure , "[0-i] [I]0-i answered . " Well , [I]0-i observed to [him]251-mr. rochester that as [you]0-i were unused to [company]1938-company , [I]0-i did not think [you]0-i would like appearing before so gay a party - [all strangers]5526-all strangers ; and [he]251-mr. rochester replied , in [his]251-mr. rochester quick way - ' Nonsense ! If [she]297-miss ingram objects , tell [her]297-miss ingram it is [my]0-i particular wish ; and if [she]297-miss ingram resists , say [I]0-i shall come and fetch [her]297-miss ingram in case of contumacy . ' "[0-i] " [I]0-i will not give [him]251-mr. rochester that trouble , "[0-i] [I]0-i answered . " [I]0-i will go , if no better may be ; but [I]0-i do n't like it . Shall [you]0-i be there , [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax ? "[0-i] " No ; [I]0-i pleaded off , and [he]251-mr. rochester admitted [my]0-i plea . [I]0-i 'll tell [you]0-i how to manage so as to avoid the embarrassment of making a formal entrance , which is the most disagreeable part of the business . [You]0-i must go into [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room while [it]513-the drawing - room is empty , before [the ladies]1885-the ladies leave the dinner - table ; choose [your]0-i seat in [any quiet nook [you]0-i like]5529-any quiet nook you like ; [you]0-i need not stay long after [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen come in , unless [you]0-i please : just let [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester see [you]0-i are [there]4426-there and then slip away - [nobody]4628-nobody will notice [you]0-i . "[0-i] " Will [these people]5533-these people remain long , do [you]0-i think ? "[0-i] " Perhaps two or three weeks , certainly not more . After the Easter recess , [Sir George Lynn]292-sir george lynn , who was lately elected member for [Millcote]44-millcote , will have to go up to [town]5534-town and take [his]292-sir george lynn seat ; [I]0-i daresay [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester will accompany [him]292-sir george lynn : it surprises [me]0-i that [he]292-sir george lynn has already made so protracted a stay at [Thornfield]43-thornfield . "[0-i] It was with some trepidation that [I]0-i perceived the hour approach when [I]0-i was to repair with [my]0-i charge to [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room . [Adele]259-adele had been in a state of ecstasy all day , after hearing [she]259-adele was to be presented to [the ladies]1885-the ladies in the evening ; and it was not till [Sophie]256-sophie commenced the operation of dressing [her]259-adele that [she]259-adele sobered down . Then the importance of the process quickly steadied [her]259-adele , and by the time [she]259-adele had [her]259-adele curls arranged in well - smoothed , drooping clusters , [her]259-adele pink satin frock put on , [her]259-adele long sash tied , and [her]259-adele lace mittens adjusted , [she]259-adele looked as grave as [any judge]2046-any judge . No need to warn [her]259-adele not to disarrange [her]259-adele attire : when [she]259-adele was dressed , [she]259-adele sat demurely down in [her]259-adele little chair , taking care previously to lift up the satin skirt for fear [she]259-adele should crease it , and assured [me]0-i [she]259-adele would not stir thence till [I]0-i was ready . This [I]0-i quickly was : [my]0-i best dress the silver - grey one , purchased for [Miss Temple]201-miss temple 's wedding , and never worn since was soon put on ; [my]0-i hair was soon smoothed ; [my]0-i sole ornament , the pearl brooch , soon assumed . [We]2047-we descended . Fortunately there was another entrance to [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room than that through [the saloon where [they]2050-they were all seated at dinner]2049-the saloon where they were all seated at dinner . [We]2047-we found [the apartment]560-the apartment vacant ; a large fire burning silently on the marble hearth , and wax candles shining in bright solitude , amid the exquisite flowers with which the tables were adorned . The crimson curtain hung before the arch : slight as was the separation this drapery formed from the party in [the adjoining saloon]2052-the adjoining saloon , [they]2050-they spoke in so low a key that nothing of [their]2050-they conversation could be distinguished beyond a soothing murmur . [Adele]259-adele , [who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising impression]2053-who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising impression , sat down , without a word , on the footstool [I]0-i pointed out to [her]259-adele . [I]0-i retired to a window - seat , and taking a book from a table near , endeavoured to read . [Adele]259-adele brought [her]259-adele stool to [my]0-i feet ; ere long [she]259-adele touched [my]0-i knee . " What is it , [Adele]259-adele ? "[259-adele] " Est - ce que je ne puis pas prendrie une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques , mademoiselle ? Seulement pour completer ma toilette . "[259-adele] " [You]259-adele think too much of [your]259-adele ' toilette , ' [Adele]259-adele : but [you]259-adele may have a flower . "[0-i] And [I]0-i took a rose from a vase and fastened it in [her]259-adele sash . [She]259-adele sighed a sigh of ineffable satisfaction , as if [her]259-adele cup of happiness were now full . [I]0-i turned [my]0-i face away to conceal a smile [I]0-i could not suppress : there was something ludicrous as well as painful in [the little Parisienne]301-the little parisienne 's earnest and innate devotion to matters of dress . A soft sound of rising now became audible ; the curtain was swept back from the arch ; through it appeared [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , with [its]5079-the dining - room lit lustre pouring down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent dessert - service covering a long table ; [a band of [ladies]745-ladies]2055-a band of ladies stood in the opening ; [they]2055-a band of ladies entered , and the curtain fell behind [them]2055-a band of ladies . There were but eight ; yet , somehow , as [they]2055-a band of ladies flocked in , [they]2055-a band of ladies gave the impression of a much larger number . [Some of [them]2055-a band of ladies]2057-some of them were very tall ; many were dressed in white ; and all had a sweeping amplitude of array that seemed to magnify [[their]2055-a band of ladies persons]2058-their persons as a mist magnifies the moon . [I]0-i rose and curtseyed to [them]2055-a band of ladies : [one or two]2059-one or two bent [their]2059-one or two heads in return , [the others]919-the others only stared at [me]0-i . [They]2055-a band of ladies dispersed about [the room]535-the room , reminding [me]0-i , by the lightness and buoyancy of [their]2055-a band of ladies movements , of a flock of white plumy birds . [Some of [them]2055-a band of ladies]2057-some of them threw [themselves]2057-some of them in half - reclining positions on the sofas and ottomans : [some]1182-some bent over the tables and examined the flowers and books : [the rest]2043-the rest gathered in a group round the fire : all talked in a low but clear tone which seemed habitual to [them]2055-a band of ladies . [I]0-i knew [their]2055-a band of ladies names afterwards , and may as well mention [them]2055-a band of ladies now . First , there was [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton and [two of [[her]294-mrs. eshton daughters]2066-her daughters]2065-two of her daughters . [She]294-mrs. eshton had evidently been [a handsome woman]2067-a handsome woman , and was well preserved still . Of [[her]294-mrs. eshton daughters]2066-her daughters , [the eldest]2069-the eldest , [Amy]302-amy , was rather little : naive , and [child - like in face and manner , and piquant in form]2070-child - like in face and manner , and piquant in form ; [her]2069-the eldest white muslin dress and blue sash became [her]2069-the eldest well . The second , [Louisa]303-louisa , was taller and more elegant in figure ; with a very pretty face , of that order the French term [minois chiffone]2071-minois chiffone : [both sisters]2072-both sisters were fair as lilies . [Lady Lynn]304-mary was a large and stout personage of about forty , very erect , very haughty - looking , richly dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen : [her]304-mary dark hair shone glossily under the shade of an azure plume , and within the circlet of a band of gems . [Mrs. Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent was less showy ; but , [I]0-i thought , [more lady]2073-more lady - like . [She]294-mrs. eshton had a slight figure , a pale , gentle face , and fair hair . [Her]294-mrs. eshton black satin dress , [her]294-mrs. eshton scarf of rich foreign lace , and [her]294-mrs. eshton pearl ornaments , pleased [me]0-i better than the rainbow radiance of [the titled dame]2074-the titled dame . But [the three most distinguished]2075-the three most distinguished - partly , perhaps , because [the tallest figures of the band]2076-the tallest figures of the band - were [the Dowager Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram and [[her]305-lady ingram daughters]2066-her daughters , [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax and [Mary]304-mary . [They]2075-the three most distinguished were [all three of the loftiest stature of [women]671-women]2078-all three of the loftiest stature of women . [The Dowager]305-lady ingram might be between forty and fifty : [her]305-lady ingram shape was still fine ; [her]305-lady ingram hair by candle - light at least still black ; [her]305-lady ingram teeth , too , were still apparently perfect . [Most people]1754-most people would have termed [her]305-lady ingram [a splendid woman of [her]305-lady ingram age]2081-a splendid woman of her age : and so [she]305-lady ingram was , no doubt , physically speaking ; but then there was an expression of almost insupportable haughtiness in [her]305-lady ingram bearing and countenance . [She]305-lady ingram had Roman features and a double chin , disappearing into a throat like a pillar : these features appeared to [me]0-i not only inflated and darkened , but even furrowed with pride ; and the chin was sustained by the same principle , in a position of almost preternatural erectness . [She]305-lady ingram had , likewise , a fierce and a hard eye : it reminded [me]0-i of [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's ; [she]305-lady ingram mouthed [her]305-lady ingram words in speaking ; [her]305-lady ingram voice was deep , its inflections very pompous , very dogmatical , - very intolerable , in short . A crimson velvet robe , and a shawl turban of some gold - wrought Indian fabric , invested [her]305-lady ingram [I]0-i suppose [she]305-lady ingram thought with a truly imperial dignity . [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax and [Mary]304-mary were of equal stature , - straight and tall as poplars . [Mary]304-mary was too slim for [her]304-mary height , but [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax was moulded like [a Dian]2082-a dian . [I]0-i regarded [her]305-lady ingram , of course , with special interest . First , [I]0-i wished to see whether [her]305-lady ingram appearance accorded with [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax 's description ; secondly , whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature [I]0-i had painted of [her]305-lady ingram ; and thirdly - it will out ! - whether it were such as [I]0-i should fancy likely to suit [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's taste . As far as [person]2083-person went , [she]305-lady ingram answered point for point , both to [my]0-i picture and [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax 's description . The noble bust , the sloping shoulders , the graceful neck , the dark eyes and black ringlets were all there ; - but [her]305-lady ingram face ? [Her]305-lady ingram face was like [[her]305-lady ingram mother]767-her mother 's ; a youthful unfurrowed likeness : the same low brow , the same high features , the same pride . It was not , however , so saturnine a pride ! [she]305-lady ingram laughed continually ; [her]305-lady ingram laugh was satirical , and so was the habitual expression of [her]305-lady ingram arched and haughty lip . [Genius]306-genius is said to be self - conscious . [I]0-i can not tell whether [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram was [a genius]2085-a genius , but [she]297-miss ingram was self - conscious - remarkably self- conscious indeed . [She]297-miss ingram entered into a discourse on botany with [the gentle Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent . It seemed [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent had not studied that science : though , as [she]293-colonel dent said , [she]293-colonel dent liked flowers , " especially wild ones ; "[293-colonel dent] [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram had , and [she]297-miss ingram ran over its vocabulary with an air . [I]0-i presently perceived [she]297-miss ingram was what is vernacularly termed [TRAILING Mrs. Dent]307-trailing mrs. dent ; that is , playing on [her]297-miss ingram ignorance - [her]297-miss ingram TRAIL might be clever , but it was decidedly not good - natured . [She]297-miss ingram played : [her]297-miss ingram execution was brilliant ; [she]297-miss ingram sang : [her]297-miss ingram voice was fine ; [she]297-miss ingram talked French apart to [[her]297-miss ingram mamma]2086-her mamma ; and [she]297-miss ingram talked it well , with fluency and with a good accent . [Mary]304-mary had a milder and more open countenance than [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax ; softer features too , and a skin some shades fairer [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram was dark as [a Spaniard]2087-a spaniard - but [Mary]304-mary was deficient in life : [her]304-mary face lacked expression , [her]304-mary eye lustre ; [she]304-mary had nothing to say , and having once taken [her]304-mary seat , remained fixed like a statue in [its]304-mary niche . [The sisters]2088-the sisters were both attired in spotless white . And did [I]0-i now think [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram such a choice as [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would be likely to make ? [I]0-i could not tell - [I]0-i did not know [his]251-mr. rochester taste in female beauty . If [he]251-mr. rochester liked the majestic , [she]297-miss ingram was [the very type of majesty]2089-the very type of majesty : then [she]297-miss ingram was accomplished , sprightly . [Most gentlemen]2090-most gentlemen would admire [her]297-miss ingram , [I]0-i thought ; and that [he]251-mr. rochester DID admire [her]297-miss ingram , [I]0-i already seemed to have obtained proof : to remove the last shade of doubt , it remained but to see [them]2088-the sisters together . [You]2091-you are not to suppose , [reader]496-reader , that [Adele]259-adele has all this time been sitting motionless on the stool at [my]0-i feet : no ; when [the ladies]1885-the ladies entered , [she]297-miss ingram rose , advanced to meet [them]1885-the ladies , made a stately reverence , and said with gravity - " Bon jour , [mesdames]5535-mesdames . "[297-miss ingram] And [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram had looked down at [her]297-miss ingram with a mocking air , and exclaimed , " Oh , what [a little puppet]5536-a little puppet ! "[297-miss ingram] [Lady Lynn]304-mary had remarked , " It is [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's ward]5028-mr. rochester 's ward , [I]304-mary suppose - [the little French girl [he]251-mr. rochester was speaking of]5538-the little french girl he was speaking of . "[304-mary] [Mrs. Dent]307-trailing mrs. dent had kindly taken [her]297-miss ingram hand , and given [her]297-miss ingram a kiss . [Amy]302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]303-louisa had cried out simultaneously - " What a love of [a child]4305-a child ! "[303-louisa] And then [they]1885-the ladies had called [her]297-miss ingram to a sofa , where [she]297-miss ingram now sat , ensconced between [them]1885-the ladies , chattering alternately in French and broken English ; absorbing not only [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies ' attention , but that of [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton and [Lady Lynn]304-mary , and getting spoilt to [her]297-miss ingram heart 's content . At last coffee is brought in , and [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen are summoned . [I]0-i sit in the shade - if any shade there be in [this brilliantly - lit apartment]2096-this brilliantly - lit apartment ; the window - curtain half hides [me]0-i . Again the arch yawns ; [they]1742-the gentlemen come . The collective appearance of [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen , like that of [the ladies]1885-the ladies , is very imposing : [they]1742-the gentlemen are all costumed in black ; most of [them]1742-the gentlemen are tall , some young . [Henry]163-henry and [Frederick Lynn]308-richard are very dashing sparks indeed ; and [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent is [a fine soldierly man]2099-a fine soldierly man . [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton , [the magistrate of [the district]1384-the district]2100-the magistrate of the district , is gentleman - like : [his]290-mr. eshton hair is quite white , [his]290-mr. eshton eyebrows and whiskers still dark , which gives [him]290-mr. eshton something of the appearance of [a " pere noble de theatre]5540-a " pere noble de theatre . "[290-mr. eshton] [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram , like [[his]291-lord ingram sisters]4311-his sisters , is very tall ; like [them]4311-his sisters , also , [he]291-lord ingram is handsome ; but [he]291-lord ingram shares [Mary]308-richard 's apathetic and listless look : [he]291-lord ingram seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood or vigour of brain . And where is [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? [He]251-mr. rochester comes in last : [I]0-i am not looking at the arch , yet [I]0-i see [him]251-mr. rochester enter . [I]0-i try to concentrate [my]0-i attention on those netting - needles , on the meshes of the purse [I]0-i am forming - [I]0-i wish to think only of the work [I]0-i have in [my]0-i hands , to see only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in [my]0-i lap ; whereas , [I]0-i distinctly behold [his]251-mr. rochester figure , and [I]0-i inevitably recall the moment when [I]0-i last saw it ; just after [I]0-i had rendered [him]251-mr. rochester , what [he]251-mr. rochester deemed , an essential service , and [he]251-mr. rochester , holding [my]0-i hand , and looking down on [my]0-i face , surveyed [me]0-i with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to overflow ; in whose emotions [I]0-i had a part . How near had [I]0-i approached [him]251-mr. rochester at that moment ! What had occurred since , calculated to change [his]251-mr. rochester and [my]0-i relative positions ? Yet now , how distant , how far estranged [we]2103-we were ! So far estranged , that [I]0-i did not expect [him]251-mr. rochester to come and speak to [me]0-i . [I]0-i did not wonder , when , without looking at [me]0-i , [he]251-mr. rochester took a seat at the other side of [the room]535-the room , and began conversing with [some of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]1901-some of the ladies . No sooner did [I]0-i see that [his]251-mr. rochester attention was riveted on [them]1901-some of the ladies , and that [I]0-i might gaze without being observed , than [my]0-i eyes were drawn involuntarily to [his]251-mr. rochester face ; [I]0-i could not keep [their]1901-some of the ladies lids under control : they would rise , and [the irids]2107-the irids would fix on [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i looked , and had an acute pleasure in looking , - a precious yet poignant pleasure ; pure gold , with a steely point of agony : a pleasure like what [the thirst - perishing man]2108-the thirst - perishing man might feel who knows the well to which [he]2108-the thirst - perishing man has crept is poisoned , yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless . Most true is it that " beauty is in the eye of [the gazer]5541-the gazer . "[0-i] [[My]0-i master]4336-my master 's colourless , olive face , square , massive brow , broad and jetty eyebrows , deep eyes , strong features , firm , grim mouth , - all energy , decision , will , - were not beautiful , according to rule ; but they were more than beautiful to [me]0-i ; they were full of an interest , an influence that quite mastered [me]0-i , - that took [my]0-i feelings from [my]0-i own power and fettered them in [his]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i had not intended to love [him]251-mr. rochester ; [the reader]947-the reader knows [I]0-i had wrought hard to extirpate from [my]0-i soul the germs of love there detected ; and now , at the first renewed view of [him]251-mr. rochester , [they]1901-some of the ladies spontaneously arrived , green and strong ! [He]251-mr. rochester made [me]0-i love [him]251-mr. rochester without looking at [me]0-i . [I]0-i compared [him]251-mr. rochester with [[his]251-mr. rochester guests]2111-his guests . What was the gallant grace of [the Lynns]309-the lynns , the languid elegance of [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram , - even the military distinction of [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , contrasted with [his]251-mr. rochester look of native pith and genuine power ? [I]0-i had no sympathy in [their]2112-their appearance , [their]2112-their expression : yet [I]0-i could imagine that [most observers]2113-most observers would call [them]2112-their attractive , handsome , imposing ; while [they]2113-most observers would pronounce [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester at once harsh - featured and melancholy - looking . [I]0-i saw [them]2112-their smile , laugh - it was nothing ; the light of the candles had as much soul in it as [their]2112-their smile ; the tinkle of the bell as much significance as [their]2112-their laugh . [I]0-i saw [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester smile:- [his]251-mr. rochester stern features softened ; [his]251-mr. rochester eye grew both brilliant and gentle , its ray both searching and sweet . [He]251-mr. rochester was talking , at the moment , to [Louisa]303-louisa and [Amy Eshton]302-amy . [I]0-i wondered to see [them]2112-their receive with calm that look which seemed to [me]0-i so penetrating : [I]0-i expected [their]2112-their eyes to fall , [their]2112-their colour to rise under it ; yet [I]0-i was glad when [I]0-i found [they]2112-their were in no sense moved . " [He]251-mr. rochester is not to [them]2112-their what [he]251-mr. rochester is to [me]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought : " [he]251-mr. rochester is not of [their]2112-their kind . [I]0-i believe [he]251-mr. rochester is of [mine]0-i ; - [I]0-i am sure [he]251-mr. rochester is - [I]0-i feel akin to [him]251-mr. rochester - [I]0-i understand the language of [his]251-mr. rochester countenance and movements : though rank and wealth sever [us]5542-us widely , [I]0-i have something in [my]0-i brain and heart , in [my]0-i blood and nerves , that assimilates [me]0-i mentally to [him]251-mr. rochester . Did [I]0-i say , a few days since , that [I]0-i had nothing to do with [him]251-mr. rochester but to receive [my]0-i salary at [his]251-mr. rochester hands ? Did [I]0-i forbid [myself]0-i to think of [him]251-mr. rochester in any other light than as [a paymaster]5543-a paymaster ? Blasphemy against nature ! Every good , true , vigorous feeling [I]0-i have gathers impulsively round [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i know [I]0-i must conceal [my]0-i sentiments : [I]0-i must smother hope ; [I]0-i must remember that [he]251-mr. rochester can not care much for [me]0-i . For when [I]0-i say that [I]0-i am of [his]251-mr. rochester kind , [I]0-i do not mean that [I]0-i have [his]251-mr. rochester force to influence , and [his]251-mr. rochester spell to attract ; [I]0-i mean only that [I]0-i have certain tastes and feelings in common with [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i must , then , repeat continually that [we]5544-we are for ever sundered:- and yet , while [I]0-i breathe and think , [I]0-i must love [him]251-mr. rochester . "[0-i] Coffee is handed . [The ladies]1885-the ladies , since [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen entered , have become lively as larks ; conversation waxes brisk and merry . [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent and [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton argue on politics ; [[their]1742-the gentlemen wives]2116-their wives listen . [The two proud dowagers]2117-the two proud dowagers , [Lady Lynn]304-mary and [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram , confabulate together . [Sir George]292-sir george lynn - whom , by - the - bye , [I]0-i have forgotten to describe , - [a very big , and very fresh - looking country gentleman]2118-a very big , and very fresh - looking country gentleman , stands before [their]2117-the two proud dowagers sofa , coffee - cup in hand , and occasionally puts in a word . [Mr. Frederick Lynn]308-richard has taken a seat beside [Mary Ingram]296-mary ingram , and is showing [her]296-mary ingram the engravings of a splendid volume : [she]296-mary ingram looks , smiles now and then , but apparently says little . [The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram leans with folded arms on the chair - back of the little and lively [Amy Eshton]302-amy ; [she]296-mary ingram glances up at [him]291-lord ingram , and chatters like [a wren]2119-a wren : [she]296-mary ingram likes [him]291-lord ingram better than [she]296-mary ingram does [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [Henry Lynn]163-henry has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of [Louisa]303-louisa : [Adele]259-adele shares it with [him]291-lord ingram : [he]291-lord ingram is trying to talk [French]310-french with [her]303-louisa , and [Louisa]303-louisa laughs at [his]291-lord ingram blunders . With whom will [Blanche Ingram]295-mrs. fairfax pair ? [She]303-louisa is standing alone at the table , bending gracefully over an album . [She]303-louisa seems waiting to be sought ; but [she]303-louisa will not wait too long : [she]303-louisa [herself]303-louisa selects [a mate]2120-a mate . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , having quitted [the Eshtons]311-the eshtons , stands on the hearth as solitary as [she]303-louisa stands by the table : [she]303-louisa confronts [him]251-mr. rochester , taking [her]303-louisa station on the opposite side of the mantelpiece . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]303-louisa thought [you]251-mr. rochester were not fond of [children]524-children ? "[303-louisa] " Nor am [I.]303-louisa "[303-louisa] " Then , what induced [you]251-mr. rochester to take charge of such a little doll as that ? "[303-louisa] pointing to [Adele]259-adele . " Where did [you]251-mr. rochester pick [her]303-louisa up ? "[303-louisa] " [I]303-louisa did not pick [her]303-louisa up ; [she]303-louisa was left on [my]303-louisa hands . "[303-louisa] " [You]251-mr. rochester should have sent [her]303-louisa to [school]537-school . "[303-louisa] " [I]303-louisa could not afford it : [schools]5547-schools are so dear . "[303-louisa] " Why , [I]303-louisa suppose [you]251-mr. rochester have [a governess for [her]303-louisa]5548-a governess for her : [I]303-louisa saw [a person with [her]303-louisa]5549-a person with her just now - is [she]303-louisa gone ? Oh , no ! there [she]303-louisa is still , behind the window - curtain . [You]251-mr. rochester pay [her]303-louisa , of course ; [I]303-louisa should think it quite as expensive , - more so ; for [you]251-mr. rochester have [them]5550-them both to keep in addition . "[303-louisa] [I]0-i feared - or should [I]0-i say , hoped ? - the allusion to [me]0-i would make [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester glance [my]0-i way ; and [I]0-i involuntarily shrank farther into the shade : but [he]251-mr. rochester never turned [his]251-mr. rochester eyes . " [I]251-mr. rochester have not considered the subject , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester indifferently , looking straight before [him]251-mr. rochester . " No , [[you]251-mr. rochester men]5551-you men never do consider economy and common sense . [You]251-mr. rochester should hear [mama]4313-mama on the chapter of [governesses]4975-governesses : [Mary]163-henry and [I]251-mr. rochester have had , [I]251-mr. rochester should think , a dozen at least in [our]5554-our day ; half of [them]4975-governesses detestable and the rest ridiculous , and all incubi - were [they]4975-governesses not , [mama]4313-mama ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Did [you]251-mr. rochester speak , [[my]2121-the young lady own]5556-my own ? "[2121-the young lady] [The young lady]2121-the young lady thus claimed as [[the dowager]2122-the dowager 's special property]2123-the dowager 's special property , reiterated [her]2121-the young lady question with an explanation . " [[My]293-colonel dent dearest]5557-my dearest , do n't mention [governesses]4975-governesses ; the word makes [me]293-colonel dent nervous . [I]293-colonel dent have suffered a martyrdom from [their]4975-governesses incompetency and caprice . [I]293-colonel dent thank [Heaven]285-heaven [I]293-colonel dent have now done with [them]4975-governesses ! "[293-colonel dent] [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent here bent over to [the pious lady]2124-the pious lady and whispered something in [her]2124-the pious lady ear ; [I]0-i suppose , from the answer elicited , it was a reminder that [one of [the anathematised race]2126-the anathematised race]2125-one of the anathematised race was present . " Tant pis ! "[2127-her ladyship] said [[her]2124-the pious lady Ladyship]2127-her ladyship , " [I]2127-her ladyship hope it may do [her]2124-the pious lady good ! "[2127-her ladyship] Then , in a lower tone , but still loud enough for [me]0-i to hear , " [I]2127-her ladyship noticed [her]2124-the pious lady ; [I]2127-her ladyship am a judge of physiognomy , and in [hers]2124-the pious lady [I]2127-her ladyship see all the faults of [[her]2124-the pious lady class]5559-her class . "[2127-her ladyship] " What are [they]5560-they , [madam]4457-madam ? "[251-mr. rochester] inquired [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester aloud . " [I]2124-the pious lady will tell [you]251-mr. rochester in [your]251-mr. rochester private ear , "[2124-the pious lady] replied [she]2124-the pious lady , wagging [her]2124-the pious lady turban three times with portentous significancy . " But [my]2124-the pious lady curiosity will be past its appetite ; it craves food now . "[2124-the pious lady] " Ask [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax ; [she]295-mrs. fairfax is nearer [you]295-mrs. fairfax than [I.]295-mrs. fairfax "[2127-her ladyship] " Oh , do n't refer [him]5562-him to [me]2127-her ladyship , [mama]4313-mama ! [I]2127-her ladyship have just one word to say of [the whole tribe]5564-the whole tribe ; [they]5564-the whole tribe are a nuisance . Not that [I]2127-her ladyship ever suffered much from [them]5564-the whole tribe ; [I]2127-her ladyship took care to turn the tables . What tricks [Theodore]204-theodore and [I]2127-her ladyship used to play on [[our]5565-we [Miss Wilsons]312-miss wilsons]5566-our miss wilsons , and [Mrs. Greys]313-mrs. greys , and [Madame Jouberts]314-madame jouberts ! [Mary]163-henry was always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit . The best fun was with [Madame Joubert]315-madame joubert : [Miss Wilson]316-miss wilson was [a poor sickly thing]5567-a poor sickly thing , lachrymose and low - spirited , not worth the trouble of vanquishing , in short ; and [Mrs. Grey]317-mrs. grey was coarse and insensible ; no blow took effect on [her]315-madame joubert . But poor [Madame Joubert]315-madame joubert ! [I]2127-her ladyship see [her]315-madame joubert yet in [her]315-madame joubert raging passions , when [we]5565-we had driven [her]315-madame joubert to extremities - spilt [our]5565-we tea , crumbled [our]5565-we bread and butter , tossed [our]5565-we books up to the ceiling , and played a charivari with the ruler and desk , the fender and fire - irons . [Theodore]204-theodore , do [you]204-theodore remember those merry days ? "[2127-her ladyship] " [Yaas]318-yaas , to be sure [I]291-lord ingram do , "[291-lord ingram] drawled [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram ; " and [the poor old stick]5568-the poor old stick used to cry out ' Oh [[you]204-theodore villains childs]5569-you villains childs ! ' - and then [we]5565-we sermonised [her]315-madame joubert on the presumption of attempting to teach such clever blades as [we]5565-we were , when [she]315-madame joubert was [herself]315-madame joubert so ignorant . "[291-lord ingram] " [We]5565-we did ; and , [Tedo]319-tedo , [you]319-tedo know , [I]2127-her ladyship helped [you]319-tedo in prosecuting or persecuting [[your]319-tedo tutor]5570-your tutor , whey - faced [Mr. Vining]320-mr. vining - [the parson in the pip]5571-the parson in the pip , as [we]5565-we used to call [him]320-mr. vining . [He]320-mr. vining and [Miss Wilson]316-miss wilson took the liberty of falling in love with [each other]724-each other - at least [Tedo]319-tedo and [I]2127-her ladyship thought so ; [we]5565-we surprised sundry tender glances and sighs which [we]5565-we interpreted as tokens of ' la belle passion , ' and [I]2127-her ladyship promise [you]319-tedo [the public]462-the public soon had the benefit of [our]5565-we discovery ; [we]5565-we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist [our]5565-we dead - weights from [the house]4322-the house . [Dear mama]5575-dear mama , there , as soon as [she]5575-dear mama got an inkling of the business , found out that it was of an immoral tendency . Did [you]319-tedo not , [[my]2127-her ladyship lady]5576-my lady - mother ? "[2127-her ladyship] " Certainly , [my]2127-her ladyship best . And [I]2127-her ladyship was quite right : depend on that : there are a thousand reasons why liaisons between [governesses]4975-governesses and [tutors]5578-tutors should never be tolerated a moment in [any well - regulated house]5579-any well - regulated house ; firstly - "[2127-her ladyship] " Oh , gracious , [mama]4313-mama ! Spare [us]5565-we the enumeration ! Au reste , [we]5565-we all know [them]5581-them : danger of bad example to innocence of childhood ; distractions and consequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached - mutual alliance and reliance ; confidence thence resulting - insolence accompanying - mutiny and general blow - up . Am [I]291-lord ingram right , [Baroness Ingram]321-baroness ingram , of [Ingram Park]70-ingram park ? "[291-lord ingram] " [My]2127-her ladyship lily - flower , [you]319-tedo are right now , as always . "[2127-her ladyship] " Then no more need be said : change the subject . "[2127-her ladyship] [Amy Eshton]302-amy , not hearing or not heeding this dictum , joined in with [her]302-amy soft , infantine tone : " [Louisa]303-louisa and [I]302-amy used to quiz [[our]5565-we governess]5582-our governess too ; but [she]5582-our governess was such [a good creature]5583-a good creature , [she]5582-our governess would bear anything : nothing put [her]5582-our governess out . [She]5582-our governess was never cross with [us]5565-we ; was [she]5582-our governess , [Louisa]303-louisa ? "[302-amy] " No , never : [we]5565-we might do what [we]5565-we pleased ; ransack [her]5582-our governess desk and [her]5582-our governess workbox , and turn [her]5582-our governess drawers inside out ; and [she]5582-our governess was so good- natured , [she]5582-our governess would give [us]5565-we anything [we]5565-we asked for . "[291-lord ingram] " [I]297-miss ingram suppose , now , "[297-miss ingram] said [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , curling [her]297-miss ingram lip sarcastically , " [we]5565-we shall have an abstract of the memoirs of [all the governesses]5584-all the governesses extant : in order to avert such a visitation , [I]297-miss ingram again move the introduction of a new topic . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , do [you]251-mr. rochester second [my]297-miss ingram motion ? "[297-miss ingram] " [Madam]4457-madam , [I]291-lord ingram support [you]251-mr. rochester on this point , as on every other . "[291-lord ingram] " Then on [me]291-lord ingram be the onus of bringing it forward . [Signior Eduardo]322-signior eduardo , are [you]251-mr. rochester in voice to - night ? "[291-lord ingram] " [Donna Bianca]323-donna bianca , if [you]251-mr. rochester command it , [I]297-miss ingram will be . "[297-miss ingram] " Then , signior , [I]291-lord ingram lay on [you]251-mr. rochester [my]291-lord ingram sovereign behest to furbish up [your]251-mr. rochester lungs and other vocal organs , as they will be wanted on [my]291-lord ingram royal service . "[291-lord ingram] " Who would not be [the Rizzio of so divine a Mary]5586-the rizzio of so divine a mary ? "[291-lord ingram] " A fig for [Rizzio]324-rizzio ! "[2128-my] cried [she]2128-my , tossing [her]2128-my head with all its curls , as [she]2128-my moved to the piano . " It is [my]2128-my opinion [the fiddler [David]325-david]5587-the fiddler david must have been [an insipid sort of fellow]5588-an insipid sort of fellow ; [I]2128-my like [black Bothwell]326-black bothwell better : to [my]2128-my mind [a man]4429-a man is nothing without a spice of the devil in [him]4429-a man ; and history may say what it will of [James Hepburn]327-james hepburn , but [I]2128-my have a notion , [he]327-james hepburn was just [the sort of wild , fierce , bandit hero whom [I]2128-my could have consented to gift with [my]2128-my hand]5590-the sort of wild , fierce , bandit hero whom i could have consented to gift with my hand . "[2128-my] " [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen , [you]475-gentlemen hear ! Now which of [you]475-gentlemen most resembles [Bothwell]326-black bothwell ? "[251-mr. rochester] cried [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " [I]293-colonel dent should say the preference lies with [you]475-gentlemen , "[293-colonel dent] responded [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent . " On [my]293-colonel dent honour , [I]293-colonel dent am much obliged to [you]475-gentlemen , "[293-colonel dent] was the reply . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , who had now seated [herself]297-miss ingram with proud grace at the piano , spreading out [her]297-miss ingram snowy robes in queenly amplitude , commenced a brilliant prelude ; talking meantime . [She]297-miss ingram appeared to be on [her]297-miss ingram high horse to - night ; both [her]297-miss ingram words and [her]297-miss ingram air seemed intended to excite not only the admiration , but the amazement of [[her]297-miss ingram auditors]2129-her auditors : [she]297-miss ingram was evidently bent on striking [them]2129-her auditors as something very dashing and daring indeed . " Oh , [I]297-miss ingram am so sick of [the young men of the present day]5592-the young men of the present day ! "[297-miss ingram] exclaimed [she]297-miss ingram , rattling away at the instrument . " Poor , puny things , not fit to stir a step beyond [[papa]4423-papa 's park gates]5594-papa 's park gates : nor to go even so far without [mama]4313-mama 's permission and guardianship ! Creatures so absorbed in care about [their]5592-the young men of the present day pretty faces , and [their]5592-the young men of the present day white hands , and [their]5592-the young men of the present day small feet ; as if [a man]4429-a man had anything to do with beauty ! As if loveliness were not the special prerogative of [woman]1225-woman - [her]1225-woman legitimate appanage and heritage ! [I]297-miss ingram grant [an ugly WOMAN]5598-an ugly woman is a blot on the fair face of creation ; but as to [the GENTLEMEN]1742-the gentlemen , let [them]1742-the gentlemen be solicitous to possess only strength and valour : let [their]1742-the gentlemen motto be:- Hunt , shoot , and fight : the rest is not worth a fillip . Such should be [my]297-miss ingram device , were [I]297-miss ingram [a man]4429-a man . "[297-miss ingram] " Whenever [I]297-miss ingram marry , "[297-miss ingram] [she]297-miss ingram continued after a pause which [none]914-none interrupted , " [I]297-miss ingram am resolved [[my]297-miss ingram husband]5014-my husband shall not be [a rival]5602-a rival , but a foil to [me]297-miss ingram . [I]297-miss ingram will suffer [no competitor near the throne]5603-no competitor near the throne ; [I]297-miss ingram shall exact an undivided homage : [his]5014-my husband devotions shall not be shared between [me]297-miss ingram and the shape [he]5014-my husband sees in [his]5014-my husband mirror . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , now sing , and [I]297-miss ingram will play for [you]251-mr. rochester . "[297-miss ingram] " [I]297-miss ingram am all obedience , "[297-miss ingram] was the response . " Here then is a Corsair - song . Know that [I]297-miss ingram doat on [Corsairs]328-corsairs ; and for that reason , sing it con spirito . "[297-miss ingram] " Commands from [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's lips would put spirit into a mug of milk and water . "[297-miss ingram] " Take care , then : if [you]251-mr. rochester do n't please [me]945-the lady , [I]945-the lady will shame [you]251-mr. rochester by showing how such things SHOULD be done . "[945-the lady] " That is offering a premium on incapacity : [I]297-miss ingram shall now endeavour to fail . "[297-miss ingram] " Gardez - vous en bien ! If [you]251-mr. rochester err wilfully , [I]297-miss ingram shall devise a proportionate punishment . "[297-miss ingram] " [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ought to be clement , for [she]297-miss ingram has it in [her]297-miss ingram power to inflict a chastisement beyond mortal endurance . "[945-the lady] " Ha ! explain ! "[945-the lady] commanded [the lady]945-the lady . " Pardon [me]945-the lady , [madam]4457-madam : no need of explanation ; [your]4457-madam own fine sense must inform [you]4457-madam that one of [your]4457-madam frowns would be a sufficient substitute for capital punishment . "[945-the lady] " Sing ! "[945-the lady] said [she]945-the lady , and again touching the piano , [she]945-the lady commenced an accompaniment in spirited style . " Now is [my]0-i time to slip away , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i : but the tones that then severed the air arrested [me]0-i . [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax had said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester possessed a fine voice : [he]251-mr. rochester did - a mellow , powerful bass , into which [he]251-mr. rochester threw [his]251-mr. rochester own feeling , [his]251-mr. rochester own force ; finding a way through the ear to the heart , and there waking sensation strangely . [I]0-i waited till the last deep and full vibration had expired - till the tide of talk , checked an instant , had resumed its flow ; [I]0-i then quitted [my]0-i sheltered corner and made [my]0-i exit by the side - door , which was fortunately near . Thence [a narrow passage]2132-a narrow passage led into [the hall]608-the hall : in crossing [it]2132-a narrow passage , [I]0-i perceived [my]0-i sandal was loose ; [I]0-i stopped to tie it , kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot of [the staircase]2134-the staircase . [I]0-i heard [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room door unclose ; [a gentleman]638-a gentleman came out ; rising hastily , [I]0-i stood face to face with [him]638-a gentleman : it was [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " How do [you]0-i do ? "[638-a gentleman] [he]638-a gentleman asked . " [I]638-a gentleman am very well , [sir]4374-sir . "[638-a gentleman] " Why did [you]638-a gentleman not come and speak to [me]0-i in [the room]535-the room ? "[0-i] [I]0-i thought [I]0-i might have retorted the question on [him]638-a gentleman who put it : but [I]0-i would not take that freedom . [I]0-i answered - " [I]0-i did not wish to disturb [you]638-a gentleman , as [you]638-a gentleman seemed engaged , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " What have [you]638-a gentleman been doing during [my]638-a gentleman absence ? "[638-a gentleman] " Nothing particular ; teaching [Adele]259-adele as usual . "[638-a gentleman] " And getting a good deal paler than [you]638-a gentleman were - as [I]0-i saw at first sight . What is the matter ? "[0-i] " Nothing at all , [sir]4374-sir . "[638-a gentleman] " Did [you]638-a gentleman take any cold that night [you]638-a gentleman half drowned [me]638-a gentleman ? "[638-a gentleman] " Not the least . "[0-i] " Return to [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room : [you]638-a gentleman are deserting too early . "[638-a gentleman] " [I]638-a gentleman am tired , [sir]4374-sir . "[638-a gentleman] [He]638-a gentleman looked at [me]0-i for a minute . " And a little depressed , "[638-a gentleman] [he]638-a gentleman said . " What about ? Tell [me]638-a gentleman . "[638-a gentleman] " Nothing - nothing , [sir]4374-sir . [I]0-i am not depressed . "[0-i] " But [I]2137-i affirm that [you]638-a gentleman are : so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to [your]638-a gentleman eyes - indeed , they are there now , shining and swimming ; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag . If [I]2137-i had time , and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of [a servant]4337-a servant passing , [I]2137-i would know what all this means . Well , to - night [I]2137-i excuse [you]638-a gentleman ; but understand that so long as [[my]2137-i visitors]4802-my visitors stay , [I]2137-i expect [you]638-a gentleman to appear in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room every evening ; it is [my]2137-i wish ; do n't neglect it . Now go , and send [Sophie]256-sophie for [Adele]259-adele . Good - night , [my]2137-i - "[2137-i] [He]2137-i stopped , bit [his]2137-i lip , and abruptly left [me]0-i . CHAPTER XVIII Merry days were these at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall ; and busy days too : how different from the first three months of stillness , monotony , and solitude [I]0-i had passed beneath [its]53-thornfield hall roof ! All sad feelings seemed now driven from [the house]4322-the house , all gloomy associations forgotten : there was life everywhere , movement all day long . [You]2139-you could not now traverse [the gallery]1740-the gallery , once so hushed , nor enter [the front chambers]1939-the front chambers , once so tenantless , without encountering [a smart lady's - maid]2142-a smart lady's - maid or [a dandy valet]2143-a dandy valet . [The kitchen]658-the kitchen , [[the butler]4948-the butler 's pantry]2146-the butler 's pantry , [[the servants]546-the servants ' hall]2001-the servants ' hall , [the entrance hall]2149-the entrance hall , were equally alive ; and [the saloons]2150-the saloons were only left void and still when the blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called [[their]2150-the saloons occupants]2151-their occupants out into [the grounds]772-the grounds . Even when that weather was broken , and continuous rain set in for some days , no damp seemed cast over enjoyment : indoor amusements only became more lively and varied , in consequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety . [I]0-i wondered what [they]2153-they were going to do the first evening a change of entertainment was proposed : [they]2153-they spoke of " playing charades , "[2153-they] but in [my]0-i ignorance [I]0-i did not understand the term . [The servants]546-the servants were called in , the dining - room tables wheeled away , the lights otherwise disposed , the chairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch . While [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [the other gentlemen]2155-the other gentlemen directed these alterations , [the ladies]1885-the ladies were running up and down stairs ringing for [[their]1885-the ladies maids]5501-their maids . [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax was summoned to give information respecting the resources of [the house]4322-the house in shawls , dresses , draperies of any kind ; and certain wardrobes of [the third storey]1543-the third storey were ransacked , and their contents , in the shape of brocaded and hooped petticoats , satin sacques , black modes , lace lappets , c. , were brought down in armfuls by [the abigails]2005-the abigails ; then a selection was made , and such things as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room . Meantime , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had again summoned [the ladies]1885-the ladies round [him]251-mr. rochester , and was selecting certain of [their]1885-the ladies number to be of [[his]251-mr. rochester party]2163-his party . " [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram is [mine]251-mr. rochester , of course , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester : afterwards [he]251-mr. rochester named [the two Misses Eshton]2164-the two misses eshton , and [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent . [He]251-mr. rochester looked at [me]0-i : [I]0-i happened to be near [him]251-mr. rochester , as [I]0-i had been fastening the clasp of [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent 's bracelet , which had got loose . " Will [you]0-i play ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester asked . [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head . [He]251-mr. rochester did not insist , which [I]0-i rather feared [he]251-mr. rochester would have done ; [he]251-mr. rochester allowed [me]0-i to return quietly to [my]0-i usual seat . [He]251-mr. rochester and [[his]251-mr. rochester aids]2165-his aids now withdrew behind the curtain : [the other party]2166-the other party , which was headed by [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , sat down on the crescent of chairs . [One of [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen]2167-one of the gentlemen , [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton , observing [me]0-i , seemed to propose that [I]0-i should be asked to join [them]2166-the other party ; but [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram instantly negatived the notion . " No , "[305-lady ingram] [I]0-i heard [her]305-lady ingram say : ' [she]305-lady ingram looks too stupid for any game of the sort . " Ere long a bell tinkled , and the curtain drew up . Within the arch , the bulky figure of [Sir George Lynn]292-sir george lynn , whom [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had likewise chosen , was seen enveloped in a white sheet : before [him]251-mr. rochester , on a table , lay open a large book ; and at [his]251-mr. rochester side stood [Amy Eshton]302-amy , draped in [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's cloak , and holding a book in [her]302-amy hand . [Somebody]4813-somebody , unseen , rang the bell merrily ; then [Adele]259-adele who had insisted on being [one of [[her]259-adele guardian]1764-her guardian 's party]5616-one of her guardian 's party , bounded forward , scattering round [her]259-adele the contents of a basket of flowers [she]259-adele carried on [her]259-adele arm . Then appeared the magnificent figure of [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , clad in white , a long veil on [her]305-lady ingram head , and a wreath of roses round [her]305-lady ingram brow ; by [her]305-lady ingram side walked [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , and together [they]5618-they drew near the table . [They]5618-they knelt ; while [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent and [Louisa Eshton]303-louisa , dressed also in white , took up [their]5618-they stations behind [them]5618-they . A ceremony followed , in dumb show , in which it was easy to recognise the pantomime of a marriage . At its termination , [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent and [[his]251-mr. rochester party]2163-his party consulted in whispers for two minutes , then [the Colonel]5620-the colonel called out - "[305-lady ingram] [Bride]2169-bride ! " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester bowed , and the curtain fell . A considerable interval elapsed before [it]5621-it again rose . [Its]5621-it second rising displayed a more elaborately prepared scene than the last . [The drawing - room]513-the drawing - room , as [I]2170-i have before observed , was raised two steps above [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , and on the top of the upper step , placed a yard or two back within [the room]535-the room , appeared a large marble basin - which [I]2170-i recognised as an ornament of [the conservatory]595-the conservatory - where [it]5621-it usually stood , surrounded by exotics , and tenanted by gold fish - and whence it must have been transported with some trouble , on account of its size and weight . [Seated on the carpet]5626-seated on the carpet , by the side of this basin , was seen [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , costumed in shawls , with a turban on [his]251-mr. rochester head . [His]251-mr. rochester dark eyes and swarthy skin and [Paynim]329-paynim features suited the costume exactly : [he]251-mr. rochester looked [the very model of an Eastern emir]5627-the very model of an eastern emir , [an agent]5628-an agent or [a victim of the bowstring]5629-a victim of the bowstring . [Presently]330-presently advanced into view [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . [She]297-miss ingram , too , was attired in oriental fashion : a crimson scarf tied sash - like round the waist : an embroidered handkerchief knotted about [her]297-miss ingram temples ; [her]297-miss ingram beautifully - moulded arms bare , one of them upraised in the act of supporting a pitcher , poised gracefully on [her]297-miss ingram head . Both [her]297-miss ingram cast of form and feature , [her]297-miss ingram complexion and [her]297-miss ingram general air , suggested the idea of [some Israelitish princess of the patriarchal days]5630-some israelitish princess of the patriarchal days ; and such was doubtless the character [she]297-miss ingram intended to represent . [She]297-miss ingram approached the basin , and bent over it as if to fill [her]297-miss ingram pitcher ; [she]297-miss ingram again lifted it to [her]297-miss ingram head . [The personage on the well - brink]5631-the personage on the well - brink now seemed to accost [her]297-miss ingram ; to make some request:- "[2170-i] [She]2170-i hasted , let down [her]2170-i pitcher on [her]2170-i hand , and gave [him]2171-his to drink . " From the bosom of [his]2171-his robe [he]2171-his then produced a casket , opened it and showed magnificent bracelets and earrings ; [she]297-miss ingram acted astonishment and admiration ; kneeling , [he]2171-his laid the treasure at [her]297-miss ingram feet ; incredulity and delight were expressed by [her]297-miss ingram looks and gestures ; [the stranger]5632-the stranger fastened the bracelets on [her]297-miss ingram arms and the rings in [her]297-miss ingram ears . It was [Eliezer]331-eliezer and [Rebecca]332-rebecca : the camels only were wanting . [The divining party]5633-the divining party again laid [their]5633-the divining party heads together : apparently [they]5633-the divining party could not agree about the word or syllable the scene illustrated . [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , [[their]5633-the divining party spokesman]5634-their spokesman , demanded "[2170-i] the tableau of the whole ; " whereupon the curtain again descended . On [its]5635-its third rising only a portion of [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room was disclosed ; the rest being concealed by a screen , hung with some sort of dark and coarse drapery . The marble basin was removed ; in [its]5635-its place , stood a deal table and a kitchen chair : these objects were visible by a very dim light proceeding from a horn lantern , the wax candles being all extinguished . Amidst this sordid scene , sat [a man with [his]2171-his clenched hands resting on [his]2171-his knees , and [his]2171-his eyes bent on the ground]5637-a man with his clenched hands resting on his knees , and his eyes bent on the ground . [I]333-bridewell knew [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; though the begrimed face , the disordered dress [his]2171-his coat hanging loose from one arm , as if it had been almost torn from [his]2171-his back in a scuffle , the desperate and scowling countenance , the rough , bristling hair might well have disguised [him]2171-his . As [he]2171-his moved , a chain clanked ; to [his]2171-his wrists were attached fetters . "[333-bridewell] [Bridewell]333-bridewell ! " exclaimed [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , and the charade was solved . A sufficient interval having elapsed for [the performers]5638-the performers to resume [their]5638-the performers ordinary costume , [they]5638-the performers re - entered [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester led in [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ; [she]297-miss ingram was complimenting [him]2171-his on [his]2171-his acting . "[333-bridewell] Do [you]2172-you know , " said [she]297-miss ingram , "[2172-you] that , of [the three characters]2173-the three characters , [I]0-i liked [you]2172-you in the last best ? Oh , had [you]2172-you but lived a few years earlier , what [a gallant gentleman]2174-a gallant gentleman - [highwayman]2175-highwayman [you]2172-you would have made ! " "[2175-highwayman] Is all the soot washed from [my]0-i face ? " [he]2171-his asked , turning it towards [her]297-miss ingram . "[2175-highwayman] Alas ! yes : the more 's the pity ! Nothing could be more becoming to [your]2172-you complexion than that ruffian 's rouge . " "[0-i] [You]0-i would like [a hero of the road]2176-a hero of the road then ? " "[0-i] [An English hero of the road]2177-an english hero of the road would be the next best thing to [an Italian bandit]2178-an italian bandit ; and that could only be surpassed by [a Levantine pirate]2179-a levantine pirate . " "[2179-a levantine pirate] Well , whatever [I]0-i am , remember [you]2172-you are [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife ; [we]2181-we were married an hour since , in the presence of [all these witnesses]2182-all these witnesses . " [She]297-miss ingram giggled , and [her]297-miss ingram colour rose . "[293-colonel dent] Now , [Dent]293-colonel dent , " continued [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , "[293-colonel dent] it is [your]293-colonel dent turn . " And as [the other party]2166-the other party withdrew , [he]2171-his and [[his]2171-his band]5641-his band took the vacated seats . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram placed [herself]297-miss ingram at [[her]297-miss ingram leader]5642-her leader 's right hand ; [the other diviners]5643-the other diviners filled the chairs on each side of [him]2171-his and [her]297-miss ingram . [I]293-colonel dent did not now watch [the actors]5644-the actors ; [I]293-colonel dent no longer waited with interest for the curtain to rise ; [my]293-colonel dent attention was absorbed by [the spectators]5645-the spectators ; [my]293-colonel dent eyes , erewhile fixed on the arch , were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle of chairs . What charade [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent and [[his]2171-his party]2163-his party played , what word [they]5644-the actors chose , how [they]5644-the actors acquitted [themselves]5644-the actors , [I]293-colonel dent no longer remember ; but [I]293-colonel dent still see the consultation which followed each scene : [I]293-colonel dent see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester turn to [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , and [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram to [him]2171-his ; [I]293-colonel dent see [her]297-miss ingram incline [her]297-miss ingram head towards [him]2171-his , till the jetty curls almost touch [his]2171-his shoulder and wave against [his]2171-his cheek ; [I]293-colonel dent hear [their]5644-the actors mutual whisperings ; [I]293-colonel dent recall [their]5644-the actors interchanged glances ; and something even of the feeling roused by the spectacle returns in memory at this moment . [I]293-colonel dent have told [you]5647-you , [reader]496-reader , that [I]293-colonel dent had learnt to love [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : [I]293-colonel dent could not unlove [him]2171-his now , merely because [I]293-colonel dent found that [he]2171-his had ceased to notice [me]293-colonel dent - because [I]293-colonel dent might pass hours in [his]2171-his presence , and [he]2171-his would never once turn [his]2171-his eyes in [my]293-colonel dent direction - because [I]293-colonel dent saw all [his]2171-his attentions appropriated by [a great lady]5649-a great lady , who scorned to touch [me]293-colonel dent with the hem of [her]5649-a great lady robes as [she]5649-a great lady passed ; who , if ever [her]5649-a great lady dark and imperious eye fell on [me]293-colonel dent by chance , would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation . [I]293-colonel dent could not unlove [him]2171-his , because [I]293-colonel dent felt sure [he]2171-his would soon marry [this very lady]5650-this very lady - because [I]293-colonel dent read daily in [her]5650-this very lady a proud security in [his]2171-his intentions respecting [her]5650-this very lady - because [I]293-colonel dent witnessed hourly in [him]2171-his a style of courtship which , if careless and choosing rather to be sought than to seek , was yet , in its very carelessness , captivating , and in its very pride , irresistible . There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances , though much to create despair . Much too , [you]5651-you will think , [reader]496-reader , to engender jealousy : if [a woman]4399-a woman , in [my]293-colonel dent position , could presume to be jealous of [a woman in [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's]5654-a woman in miss ingram 's . But [I]293-colonel dent was not jealous : or very rarely ; - the nature of the pain [I]293-colonel dent suffered could not be explained by that word . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram was a mark beneath jealousy : [she]297-miss ingram was too inferior to excite the feeling . Pardon the seeming paradox ; [I]293-colonel dent mean what [I]293-colonel dent say . [She]297-miss ingram was very showy , but [she]297-miss ingram was not genuine : [she]297-miss ingram had [a fine person]5655-a fine person , many brilliant attainments ; but [her]297-miss ingram mind was poor , [her]297-miss ingram heart barren by nature : nothing bloomed spontaneously on that soil ; no unforced natural fruit delighted by its freshness . [She]297-miss ingram was not good ; [she]297-miss ingram was not original : [she]297-miss ingram used to repeat sounding phrases from books : [she]297-miss ingram never offered , nor had , an opinion of [her]297-miss ingram own . [She]297-miss ingram advocated a high tone of sentiment ; but [she]297-miss ingram did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity ; tenderness and truth were not in [her]297-miss ingram . Too often [she]297-miss ingram betrayed this , by the undue vent [she]297-miss ingram gave to a spiteful antipathy [she]297-miss ingram had conceived against [little Adele]259-adele : pushing [her]259-adele away with some contumelious epithet if [she]259-adele happened to approach [her]259-adele ; sometimes ordering [her]259-adele from [the room]535-the room , and always treating [her]259-adele with coldness and acrimony . [Other eyes besides [mine]5658-mine]5657-other eyes besides mine watched these manifestations of character - watched [them]5659-them closely , keenly , shrewdly . Yes ; [the future bridegroom]5660-the future bridegroom , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester [himself]251-mr. rochester , exercised over [his]251-mr. rochester intended a ceaseless surveillance ; and it was from this sagacity - this guardedness of [his]251-mr. rochester - this perfect , clear consciousness of [[his]251-mr. rochester fair one]5661-his fair one 's defects - this obvious absence of passion in [his]251-mr. rochester sentiments towards [her]5661-his fair one , that [my]293-colonel dent ever - torturing pain arose . [I]293-colonel dent saw [he]251-mr. rochester was going to marry [her]5661-his fair one , for family , perhaps political reasons , because [her]5661-his fair one rank and connections suited [him]251-mr. rochester ; [I]293-colonel dent felt [he]251-mr. rochester had not given [her]5661-his fair one [his]251-mr. rochester love , and that [her]5661-his fair one qualifications were ill adapted to win from [him]251-mr. rochester that treasure . This was the point - this was where the nerve was touched and teased - this was where the fever was sustained and fed : [SHE]5661-his fair one COULD NOT CHARM [HIM]251-mr. rochester . If [she]5661-his fair one had managed the victory at once , and [he]251-mr. rochester had yielded and sincerely laid [his]251-mr. rochester heart at [her]5661-his fair one feet , [I]293-colonel dent should have covered [my]293-colonel dent face , turned to the wall , and figuratively have died to [them]5662-them . If [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram had been [a good and noble woman , endowed with force , fervour , kindness , sense]5663-a good and noble woman , endowed with force , fervour , kindness , sense , [I]293-colonel dent should have had one vital struggle with two tigers - jealousy and despair : then , [my]293-colonel dent heart torn out and devoured , [I]293-colonel dent should have admired [her]297-miss ingram - acknowledged [her]297-miss ingram excellence , and been quiet for the rest of [my]293-colonel dent days : and the more absolute [her]297-miss ingram superiority , the deeper would have been [my]293-colonel dent admiration - the more truly tranquil [my]293-colonel dent quiescence . But as matters really stood , to watch [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's efforts at fascinating [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , to witness [their]5662-them repeated failure - [herself]297-miss ingram unconscious that [they]5662-them did fail ; vainly fancying that each shaft launched hit the mark , and infatuatedly pluming [herself]297-miss ingram on success , when [her]297-miss ingram pride and self - complacency repelled further and further what [she]297-miss ingram wished to allure - to witness THIS , was to be at once under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint . Because , when [she]297-miss ingram failed , [I]293-colonel dent saw how [she]297-miss ingram might have succeeded . Arrows that continually glanced off from [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's breast and fell harmless at [his]2184-his feet , might , [I]293-colonel dent knew , if shot by a surer hand , have quivered keen in [his]2184-his proud heart - have called love into [his]2184-his stern eye , and softness into [his]2184-his sardonic face ; or , better still , without weapons a silent conquest might have been won . "[293-colonel dent] Why can [she]2183-she not influence [him]2184-his more , when [she]2183-she is privileged to draw so near to [him]2184-his ? " [I]2183-she asked [myself]2183-she . "[2183-she] Surely [she]2183-she can not truly like [him]2184-his , or not like [him]2184-his with true affection ! If [she]2183-she did , [she]2183-she need not coin [her]2183-she smiles so lavishly , flash [her]2183-she glances so unremittingly , manufacture airs so elaborate , graces so multitudinous . It seems to [me]0-i that [she]2183-she might , by merely sitting quietly at [his]2184-his side , saying little and looking less , get nigher [his]2184-his heart . [I]0-i have seen in [his]2184-his face a far different expression from that which hardens it now while [she]2183-she is so vivaciously accosting [him]2184-his ; but then it came of itself : it was not elicited by meretricious arts and calculated manoeuvres ; and [one]4415-one had but to accept it - to answer what [he]2184-his asked without pretension , to address [him]2184-his when needful without grimace - and it increased and grew kinder and more genial , and warmed [one like a fostering sunbeam]2186-one like a fostering sunbeam . How will [she]2183-she manage to please [him]2184-his when [they]2187-they are married ? [I]0-i do not think [she]2183-she will manage it ; and yet it might be managed ; and [[his]2184-his wife]4986-his wife might , [I]0-i verily believe , be [the very happiest woman the sun shines on]2189-the very happiest woman the sun shines on . " [I]4986-his wife have not yet said anything condemnatory of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's project of marrying for interest and connections . It surprised [me]4986-his wife when [I]4986-his wife first discovered that such was [his]2184-his intention : [I]4986-his wife had thought [him]2184-his [a man unlikely to be influenced by motives so commonplace in [his]2184-his choice of [a wife]5665-a wife]5664-a man unlikely to be influenced by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife ; but the longer [I]4986-his wife considered the position , education , c. , of [the parties]5666-the parties , the less [I]4986-his wife felt justified in judging and blaming either [him]2184-his or [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram for acting in conformity to ideas and principles instilled into [them]5667-their , doubtless , from [their]5667-their childhood . [All [their]5667-their class]5668-all their class held these principles : [I]4986-his wife supposed , then , [they]5667-their had reasons for holding them such as [I]4986-his wife could not fathom . It seemed to [me]4986-his wife that , were [I]4986-his wife [a gentleman like [him]2184-his]5669-a gentleman like him , [I]4986-his wife would take to [my]4986-his wife bosom only such [a wife as [I]4986-his wife could love]5670-a wife as i could love ; but the very obviousness of the advantages to [the husband]5671-the husband 's own happiness offered by this plan convinced [me]4986-his wife that there must be arguments against its general adoption of which [I]4986-his wife was quite ignorant : otherwise [I]4986-his wife felt sure all [the world]484-the world would act as [I]4986-his wife wished to act . But in other points , as well as this , [I]4986-his wife was growing very lenient to [[my]4986-his wife master]4336-my master : [I]4986-his wife was forgetting all [his]2184-his faults , for which [I]4986-his wife had once kept a sharp look - out . It had formerly been [my]4986-his wife endeavour to study all sides of [his]2184-his character : to take the bad with the good ; and from the just weighing of both , to form an equitable judgment . Now [I]4986-his wife saw no bad . The sarcasm that had repelled , the harshness that had startled [me]4986-his wife once , were only like keen condiments in a choice dish : [their]2184-his presence was pungent , but their absence would be felt as comparatively insipid . And as for the vague something - was it a sinister or a sorrowful , a designing or a desponding expression ? - that opened upon [a careful observer]5674-a careful observer , now and then , in [his]5674-a careful observer eye , and closed again before one could fathom the strange depth partially disclosed ; that something which used to make [me]4986-his wife fear and shrink , as if [I]4986-his wife had been wandering amongst [volcanic - looking hills]5675-volcanic - looking hills , and had suddenly felt the ground quiver and seen it gape : that something , [I]4986-his wife , at intervals , beheld still ; and with throbbing heart , but not with palsied nerves . Instead of wishing to shun , [I]4986-his wife longed only to dare - to divine it ; and [I]4986-his wife thought [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram happy , because one day [she]297-miss ingram might look into [the abyss]5676-the abyss at [her]297-miss ingram leisure , explore its secrets and analyse their nature . Meantime , while [I]4986-his wife thought only of [[my]4986-his wife master]4336-my master and [[his]2184-his future bride]5678-his future bride - saw only [them]2184-his , heard only [their]2184-his discourse , and considered only [their]2184-his movements of importance - [the rest of [the party]1942-the party]5679-the rest of the party were occupied with [their]5679-the rest of the party own separate interests and pleasures . [The Ladies Lynn]334-the ladies lynn and [Ingram]297-miss ingram continued to consort in solemn conferences , where [they]334-the ladies lynn nodded [their]334-the ladies lynn two turbans at [each other]724-each other , and held up [their]334-the ladies lynn four hands in confronting gestures of surprise , or mystery , or horror , according to the theme on which [their]334-the ladies lynn gossip ran , like a pair of magnified puppets . [Mild Mrs. Dent]335-mild mrs. dent talked with good - natured [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton ; and [the two]2042-the two sometimes bestowed a courteous word or smile on [me]4986-his wife . [Sir George Lynn]292-sir george lynn , [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent , and [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton discussed politics , or county affairs , or justice business . [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram flirted with [Amy Eshton]302-amy ; [Louisa]303-louisa played and sang to and with one of [the Messrs. Lynn]336-the messrs. lynn ; and [Mary Ingram]296-mary ingram listened languidly to the gallant speeches of [the other]5683-the other . Sometimes all , as with one consent , suspended [their]334-the ladies lynn by - play to observe and listen to [the principal actors]5684-the principal actors : for , after all , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and - because closely connected with [him]251-mr. rochester - [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram were the life and soul of [the party]1942-the party . If [he]251-mr. rochester was absent from [the room]535-the room an hour , [a perceptible dulness]5687-a perceptible dulness seemed to steal over the spirits of [[his]251-mr. rochester guests]2111-his guests ; and [his]251-mr. rochester re - entrance was sure to give a fresh impulse to the vivacity of conversation . The want of [his]251-mr. rochester animating influence appeared to be peculiarly felt one day that [he]251-mr. rochester had been summoned to [Millcote]44-millcote on business , and was not likely to return till late . The afternoon was wet : a walk [the party]1942-the party had proposed to take to see [a gipsy camp]5690-a gipsy camp , lately pitched on [a common beyond Hay]5691-a common beyond hay , was consequently deferred . [Some of [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen]5692-some of the gentlemen were gone to [the stables]5694-the stables : [the younger ones]1907-the younger ones , together with [the younger ladies]5696-the younger ladies , were playing billiards in [the billiard - room]5697-the billiard - room . [The dowagers Ingram]297-miss ingram and [Lynn]296-mary ingram sought solace in a quiet game at cards . [Blanche Ingram]295-mrs. fairfax , after having repelled , by supercilious taciturnity , some efforts of [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent and [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton to draw [her]295-mrs. fairfax into conversation , had first murmured over some sentimental tunes and airs on the piano , and then , having fetched a novel from [the library]659-the library , had flung [herself]295-mrs. fairfax in haughty listlessness on a sofa , and prepared to beguile , by the spell of fiction , the tedious hours of absence . [The room]535-the room and [the house]4322-the house were silent : only now and then the merriment of the billiard - players was heard from above . It was verging on dusk , and the clock had already given warning of the hour to dress for dinner , when [little Adele]259-adele , who knelt by [me]4986-his wife in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room window - seat , suddenly exclaimed - "[4986-his wife] Voile , [Monsieur Rochester]271-fairfax rochester , qui revient ! " [I]271-fairfax rochester turned , and [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram darted forwards from [her]297-miss ingram sofa : [the others]919-the others , too , looked up from [their]919-the others several occupations ; for at the same time a crunching of wheels and a splashing tramp of horse - hoofs became audible on the wet gravel . A post - chaise was approaching . "[271-fairfax rochester] What can possess [him]271-fairfax rochester to come [home]509-home in that style ? " said [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . "[271-fairfax rochester] [He]271-fairfax rochester rode [Mesrour]2191-mesrour the black horse , did [he]271-fairfax rochester not , when [he]271-fairfax rochester went out ? and [Pilot]267-pilot was with [him:-]271-fairfax rochester what has [he]271-fairfax rochester done with the animals ? " As [she]297-miss ingram said this , [she]297-miss ingram approached [[her]297-miss ingram tall person]5703-her tall person and ample garments so near the window , that [I]271-fairfax rochester was obliged to bend back almost to the breaking of [my]271-fairfax rochester spine : in [her]297-miss ingram eagerness [she]297-miss ingram did not observe [me]271-fairfax rochester at first , but when [she]297-miss ingram did , [she]297-miss ingram curled [her]297-miss ingram lip and moved to another casement . The post - chaise stopped ; [the driver]1393-the driver rang the door - bell , and [a gentleman]638-a gentleman alighted attired in travelling garb ; but it was not [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; it was [a tall , fashionable - looking man]5706-a tall , fashionable - looking man , [a stranger]799-a stranger . "[271-fairfax rochester] How provoking ! " exclaimed [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram : "[2192-you] [you]2192-you tiresome monkey ! " apostrophising [Adele]259-adele , "[2192-you] who perched [you]2192-you up in the window to give false intelligence ? " and [she]297-miss ingram cast on [me]2192-you an angry glance , as if [I]2192-you were in fault . Some parleying was audible in [the hall]608-the hall , and soon [the new - comer]780-the new - comer entered . [He]0-i bowed to [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram , as deeming [her]305-lady ingram [the eldest lady present]5710-the eldest lady present . "[2192-you] It appears [I]0-i come at an inopportune time , [madam]4457-madam , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] when [[my]0-i friend]4521-my friend , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , is from [home]509-home ; but [I]0-i arrive from a very long journey , and [I]0-i think [I]0-i may presume so far on old and intimate acquaintance as to instal [myself]0-i here till [he]251-mr. rochester returns . " [His]0-i manner was polite ; [his]0-i accent , in speaking , struck [me]251-mr. rochester as being somewhat unusual , - not precisely foreign , but still not altogether English : [his]0-i age might be about [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's , - between thirty and forty ; [his]0-i complexion was singularly sallow : otherwise [he]0-i was [a fine - looking man]5711-a fine - looking man , at first sight especially . On closer examination , [you]5712-you detected something in [his]0-i face that displeased , or rather that failed to please . [His]0-i features were regular , but too relaxed : [his]0-i eye was large and well cut , but the life looking out of it was a tame , vacant life - at least so [I]251-mr. rochester thought . The sound of the dressing - bell dispersed the party . It was not till after dinner that [I]251-mr. rochester saw [him]0-i again : [he]0-i then seemed quite at [his]0-i ease . But [I]251-mr. rochester liked [his]0-i physiognomy even less than before : it struck [me]251-mr. rochester as being at the same time unsettled and inanimate . [His]0-i eye wandered , and had no meaning in its wandering : this gave [him]0-i an odd look , such as [I]251-mr. rochester never remembered to have seen . For [a handsome and not an unamiable - looking man]5713-a handsome and not an unamiable - looking man , [he]0-i repelled [me]251-mr. rochester exceedingly : there was no power in that smooth - skinned face of a full oval shape : no firmness in that aquiline nose and small cherry mouth ; there was no thought on the low , even forehead ; no command in that blank , brown eye . As [I]251-mr. rochester sat in [my]251-mr. rochester usual nook , and looked at [him]0-i with the light of the girandoles on the mantelpiece beaming full over [him]0-i - for [he]0-i occupied an arm - chair drawn close to the fire , and kept shrinking still nearer , as if [he]0-i were cold , [I]251-mr. rochester compared [him]0-i with [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [I]251-mr. rochester think with deference be it spoken the contrast could not be much greater between a sleek gander and a fierce falcon : between a meek sheep and the rough - coated keen - eyed dog , its guardian . [He]0-i had spoken of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester as [an old friend]5714-an old friend . A curious friendship [theirs]5715-theirs must have been : a pointed illustration , indeed , of the old adage that "[251-mr. rochester] extremes meet . " [Two or three of [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen]5716-two or three of the gentlemen sat near [him]0-i , and [I]2196-a beautiful man caught at times scraps of [their]5716-two or three of the gentlemen conversation across [the room]535-the room . At first [I]2196-a beautiful man could not make much sense of what [I]2196-a beautiful man heard ; for the discourse of [Louisa Eshton]303-louisa and [Mary Ingram]296-mary ingram , who sat nearer to [me]2196-a beautiful man , confused the fragmentary sentences that reached [me]2196-a beautiful man at intervals . These last were discussing [the stranger]5632-the stranger ; [they]5716-two or three of the gentlemen both called [him]2196-a beautiful man "[2196-a beautiful man] [a beautiful man]2196-a beautiful man . " [Louisa]303-louisa said [he]2196-a beautiful man was "[2196-a beautiful man] a love of a creature , " and [she]303-louisa "[2196-a beautiful man] adored [him]2196-a beautiful man ; " and [Mary]296-mary ingram instanced [his]2196-a beautiful man "[2196-a beautiful man] pretty little mouth , and nice nose , " as [her]296-mary ingram ideal of the charming . "[2196-a beautiful man] And what a sweet - tempered forehead [he]2196-a beautiful man has ! " cried [Louisa]303-louisa , - ' so smooth - none of those frowning irregularities [I]2196-a beautiful man dislike so much ; and such a placid eye and smile ! "[2196-a beautiful man] And then , to [my]0-i great relief , [Mr. Henry Lynn]163-henry summoned [them]2197-them to the other side of [the room]535-the room , to settle some point about the deferred excursion to [Hay Common]71-hay common . [I]0-i was now able to concentrate [my]0-i attention on [the group by the fire]2199-the group by the fire , and [I]0-i presently gathered that [the new - comer]780-the new - comer was called [Mr. Mason]337-mason ; then [I]0-i learned that [he]337-mason was but just arrived in [England]21-england , and that [he]337-mason came from [some hot country]2201-some hot country : which was the reason , doubtless , [his]337-mason face was so sallow , and that [he]337-mason sat so near the hearth , and wore a surtout in [the house]4322-the house . Presently the words [Jamaica]72-jamaica , [Kingston]73-kingston , Spanish Town , indicated [the West Indies]74-the west indies as [[his]337-mason residence]2203-his residence ; and it was with no little surprise [I]0-i gathered , ere long , that [he]337-mason had there first seen and become acquainted with [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [He]337-mason spoke of [[his]337-mason friend]1054-his friend 's dislike of the burning heats , the hurricanes , and rainy seasons of [that region]1279-that region . [I]0-i knew [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had been [a traveller]2206-a traveller : [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax had said so ; but [I]0-i thought [the continent of [Europe]75-europe]2207-the continent of europe had bounded [his]251-mr. rochester wanderings ; till now [I]0-i had never heard a hint given of visits to [more distant shores]2208-more distant shores . [I]0-i was pondering these things , when an incident , and a somewhat unexpected one , broke the thread of [my]0-i musings . [Mr. Mason]337-mason , shivering as [some one]637-some one chanced to open the door , asked for more coal to be put on the fire , which had burnt out its flame , though its mass of cinder still shone hot and red . [The footman who brought the coal , in going out]2210-the footman who brought the coal , in going out , stopped near [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton 's chair , and said something to [him]290-mr. eshton in a low voice , of which [I]0-i heard only the words , " [old woman]5720-old woman , "[0-i] - " quite troublesome . "[0-i] " Tell [her]5720-old woman [she]5720-old woman shall be put in the stocks if [she]5720-old woman does not take [herself]5720-old woman off , "[2211-the magistrate] replied [the magistrate]2211-the magistrate . " No - stop ! "[293-colonel dent] interrupted [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent . " Do n't send [her]5720-old woman away , [Eshton]290-mr. eshton ; [we]5721-we might turn the thing to account ; better consult [the ladies]1885-the ladies . "[290-mr. eshton] And speaking aloud , [he]290-mr. eshton continued - " [Ladies]745-ladies , [you]745-ladies talked of going to [Hay Common]71-hay common to visit [the gipsy camp]5724-the gipsy camp ; [Sam]198-sam here says that one of [the old Mother Bunches]5725-the old mother bunches is in [[the servants]546-the servants ' hall]2001-the servants ' hall at this moment , and insists upon being brought in before ' the quality , ' to tell [them]546-the servants [their]546-the servants fortunes . Would [you]745-ladies like to see [her]5720-old woman ? "[290-mr. eshton] " Surely , [colonel]5728-colonel , "[305-lady ingram] cried [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram , " [you]5728-colonel would not encourage [such a low impostor]5729-such a low impostor ? Dismiss [her]5720-old woman , by all means , at once ! "[305-lady ingram] " But [I]2212-the footman can not persuade [her]5720-old woman to go away , [[my]2212-the footman lady]5576-my lady , "[2212-the footman] said [the footman]2212-the footman ; " nor can [any of [the servants]546-the servants]5731-any of the servants : [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax is with [her]5720-old woman just now , entreating [her]5720-old woman to be gone ; but [she]5720-old woman has taken a chair in the chimney- comer , and says nothing shall stir [her]5720-old woman from it till [she]5720-old woman gets leave to come in [here]4312-here . "[2212-the footman] " What does [she]5720-old woman want ? "[294-mrs. eshton] asked [Mrs. Eshton]294-mrs. eshton . " ' To tell [the gentry]5734-the gentry [their]5734-the gentry fortunes , ' [she]5720-old woman says , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ; and [she]5720-old woman swears [she]5720-old woman must and will do it . "[294-mrs. eshton] " What is [she]5720-old woman like ? "[338-the misses eshton] inquired [the Misses Eshton]338-the misses eshton , in a breath . " [A shockingly ugly old creature]5736-a shockingly ugly old creature , [miss]4359-miss ; almost as black as a crock . "[338-the misses eshton] " Why , [she]5720-old woman 's [a real sorceress]5738-a real sorceress ! "[308-richard] cried [Frederick Lynn]308-richard . " Let [us]5739-us have [her]5720-old woman in , of course . "[308-richard] " To be sure , "[5216-his brother] rejoined [[his]308-richard brother]5216-his brother ; " it would be a thousand pities to throw away such a chance of fun . "[5216-his brother] " [[My]339-mrs. lynn dear boys]5740-my dear boys , what are [you]5740-my dear boys thinking about ? "[339-mrs. lynn] exclaimed [Mrs. Lynn]339-mrs. lynn . " [I]305-lady ingram can not possibly countenance any such inconsistent proceeding , "[305-lady ingram] chimed in [the Dowager Ingram]305-lady ingram . " Indeed , [mama]4313-mama , but [you]5740-my dear boys can - and will , "[305-lady ingram] pronounced the haughty voice of [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax , as [she]295-mrs. fairfax turned round on the piano - stool ; where till now [she]295-mrs. fairfax had sat silent , apparently examining sundry sheets of music . " [I]295-mrs. fairfax have a curiosity to hear [my]295-mrs. fairfax fortune told : therefore , [Sam]198-sam , order [the beldame]5742-the beldame forward . "[295-mrs. fairfax] " [My]305-lady ingram darling [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax ! recollect - "[305-lady ingram] " [I]295-mrs. fairfax do - [I]295-mrs. fairfax recollect all [you]5740-my dear boys can suggest ; and [I]295-mrs. fairfax must have [my]295-mrs. fairfax will - quick , [Sam]198-sam ! "[295-mrs. fairfax] " Yes - yes - yes ! "[2214-all the juveniles] cried [all the juveniles]2214-all the juveniles , [both ladies]2215-both ladies and [gentlemen]475-gentlemen . " Let [her]295-mrs. fairfax come - it will be excellent sport ! "[2212-the footman] [The footman]2212-the footman still lingered . " [She]295-mrs. fairfax looks such [a rough one]5743-a rough one , "[2212-the footman] said [he]2212-the footman . " Go ! "[2212-the footman] ejaculated [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , and [the man]1375-the man went . Excitement instantly seized [the whole party]2219-the whole party : a running fire of raillery and jests was proceeding when [Sam]198-sam returned . " [She]295-mrs. fairfax wo n't come now , "[1375-the man] said [he]1375-the man . " [She]295-mrs. fairfax says it 's not [her]295-mrs. fairfax mission to appear before the ' vulgar herd ' [them]5744-them 's [her]295-mrs. fairfax words . [I]1375-the man must show [her]295-mrs. fairfax into [a room]4381-a room by [herself]295-mrs. fairfax , and then [those who wish to consult [her]295-mrs. fairfax]5746-those who wish to consult her must go to [her]295-mrs. fairfax one by one . "[1375-the man] " [You]305-lady ingram see now , [[my]305-lady ingram queenly [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax]5747-my queenly blanche , "[305-lady ingram] began [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram , ' [she]2220-she encroaches . Be advised , [[my]0-i angel girl]2221-my angel girl - and - " "[2221-my angel girl] Show [her]2220-she into [the library]659-the library , of course , " cut in [the "[2221-my angel girl] angel girl]5748-the " angel girl . " "[2221-my angel girl] It is not [my]0-i mission to listen to [her]2220-she before [the vulgar herd]2223-the vulgar herd either : [I]0-i mean to have [her]2220-she all to [myself]0-i . Is there a fire in [the library]659-the library ? " "[2220-she] Yes , [ma'am]4353-ma'am - but [she]2220-she looks such a tinkler . " "[2220-she] Cease that chatter , [blockhead]2226-blockhead ! and do [my]0-i bidding . " Again [Sam]198-sam vanished ; and mystery , animation , expectation rose to full flow once more . "[2220-she] [She]2220-she 's ready now , " said [the footman]2212-the footman , as [he]2212-the footman reappeared . "[2220-she] [She]2220-she wishes to know who will be [[her]2220-she first visitor]2227-her first visitor . " "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i had better just look in upon [her]2220-she before [any of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]2228-any of the ladies go , " said [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent . "[2220-she] Tell [her]2220-she , [Sam]198-sam , [a gentleman]638-a gentleman is coming . " [Sam]198-sam went and returned . "[2220-she] [She]2220-she says , [sir]4374-sir , that [she]2220-she 'll have [no gentlemen]2232-no gentlemen ; [they]2232-no gentlemen need not trouble [themselves]2232-no gentlemen to come near [her]2220-she ; nor , " [he]4374-sir added , with difficulty suppressing a titter , "[340-jove] [any ladies]2233-any ladies either , except [the young , and single]2234-the young , and single . " "[2234-the young , and single] By [Jove]340-jove , [she]2220-she has taste ! " exclaimed [Henry Lynn]163-henry . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram rose solemnly : "[0-i] [I]0-i go first , " [she]297-miss ingram said , in a tone which might have befitted [the leader of a forlorn hope , mounting a breach in the van of [[his]4374-sir men]5751-his men]5750-the leader of a forlorn hope , mounting a breach in the van of his men . "[0-i] Oh , [my]0-i best ! oh , [my]0-i dearest ! pause - reflect ! " was [[her]297-miss ingram mama]4460-her mama 's cry ; but [she]297-miss ingram swept past [her]4460-her mama in stately silence , passed through the door which [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent held open , and [we]5753-we heard [her]297-miss ingram enter [the library]659-the library . A comparative silence ensued . [Lady Ingram]305-lady ingram thought it "[0-i] le cas " to wring [her]305-lady ingram hands : which [she]305-lady ingram did accordingly . [Miss Mary]341-miss mary declared [she]341-miss mary felt , for [her]341-miss mary part , [she]341-miss mary never dared venture . [Amy]302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]303-louisa tittered under [their]5755-their breath , and looked a little frightened . The minutes passed very slowly : fifteen were counted before [the library]659-the library - door again opened . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram returned to [us]5753-we through the arch . Would [she]297-miss ingram laugh ? Would [she]297-miss ingram take it as a joke ? All eyes met [her]297-miss ingram with a glance of eager curiosity , and [she]297-miss ingram met all eyes with one of rebuff and coldness ; [she]297-miss ingram looked neither flurried nor merry : [she]297-miss ingram walked stiffly to [her]297-miss ingram seat , and took it in silence . "[2235-she] Well , [Blanche]295-mrs. fairfax ? " said [Lord Ingram]291-lord ingram . "[2235-she] What did [she]2235-she say , [sister]2236-sister ? " asked [Mary]341-miss mary . "[2235-she] What did [you]2237-you think ? How do [you]2237-you feel ? - Is [she]2235-she [a real fortune - teller]2238-a real fortune - teller ? " demanded [the Misses Eshton]338-the misses eshton . "[2235-she] Now , now , [good people]2239-good people , " returned [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , "[2239-good people] do n't press upon [me]0-i . Really [your]2239-good people organs of wonder and credulity are easily excited : [you]2239-good people seem , by the importance of [you]2239-good people all - [[my]0-i good mama]2240-my good mama included - ascribe to this matter , absolutely to believe [we]2241-we have [a genuine witch in [the house]4322-the house , who is in close alliance with [the old gentleman]5219-the old gentleman]2242-a genuine witch in the house , who is in close alliance with the old gentleman . [I]0-i have seen [a gipsy vagabond]2245-a gipsy vagabond ; [she]2245-a gipsy vagabond has practised in hackneyed fashion the science of palmistry and told [me]0-i what [such people]2246-such people usually tell . [My]0-i whim is gratified ; and now [I]0-i think [Mr. Eshton]290-mr. eshton will do well to put the hag in the stocks to - morrow morning , as [he]290-mr. eshton threatened . " [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram took a book , leant back in [her]297-miss ingram chair , and so declined further conversation . [I]2247-she watched [her]297-miss ingram for nearly half - an - hour : during all that time [she]297-miss ingram never turned a page , and [her]297-miss ingram face grew momently darker , more dissatisfied , and more sourly expressive of disappointment . [She]297-miss ingram had obviously not heard anything to [her]297-miss ingram advantage : and it seemed to [me]2247-she , from [her]297-miss ingram prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity , that [she]297-miss ingram [herself]297-miss ingram , notwithstanding [her]297-miss ingram professed indifference , attached undue importance to whatever revelations had been made [her]297-miss ingram . [Meantime]342-meantime , [Mary Ingram]296-mary ingram , [Amy]302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]303-louisa , declared [they]5757-they dared not go alone ; and yet [they]5757-they all wished to go . A negotiation was opened through the medium of [the ambassador]5758-the ambassador , [Sam]198-sam ; and after much pacing to and fro , till , [I]2247-she think , the said [Sam]198-sam 's calves must have ached with the exercise , permission was at last , with great difficulty , extorted from [the rigorous Sibyl]5759-the rigorous sibyl , for the three to wait upon [her]2247-she in a body . [Their]5757-they visit was not so still as [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's had been : [we]0-i heard hysterical giggling and little shrieks proceeding from [the library]659-the library ; and at the end of about twenty minutes [they]5757-they burst the door open , and came running across [the hall]608-the hall , as if [they]5757-they were half - scared out of [their]5757-they wits . "[2247-she] [I]0-i am sure [she]2247-she is something not right ! " [they]5757-they cried , one and all . "[2247-she] [She]2247-she told [us]0-i such things ! [She]2247-she knows all about [us]0-i ! " and [they]5757-they sank breathless into the various seats [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen hastened to bring [them]5757-they . Pressed for further explanation , [they]5757-they declared [she]2247-she had told [them]5757-they of things [they]5757-they had said and done when [they]5757-they were [mere children]5763-mere children ; described books and ornaments [they]5757-they had in [their]5757-they boudoirs at [home]509-home : keepsakes that different relations had presented to [them]5757-they . [They]5757-they affirmed that [she]2247-she had even divined [their]5757-they thoughts , and had whispered in the ear of each the name of [the person [she]2247-she liked best in [the world]484-the world]5765-the person she liked best in the world , and informed [them]5757-they of what [they]5757-they most wished for . Here [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen interposed with earnest petitions to be further enlightened on these two last - named points ; but [they]5757-they got only blushes , ejaculations , tremors , and titters , in return for [their]5757-they importunity . [The matrons]5768-the matrons , meantime , offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans ; and again and again reiterated the expression of [their]5768-the matrons concern that [their]5768-the matrons warning had not been taken in time ; and [the elder gentlemen]5769-the elder gentlemen laughed , and [the younger]5770-the younger urged [their]5770-the younger services on [the agitated fair ones]5771-the agitated fair ones . In the midst of the tumult , and while [my]2247-she eyes and ears were fully engaged in the scene before [me]2247-she , [I]2247-she heard a hem close at [my]2247-she elbow : [I]2247-she turned , and saw [Sam]198-sam . "[2247-she] If [you]2248-you please , [miss]4359-miss , [the gipsy]2250-the gipsy declares that there is [another young single lady in [the room]535-the room who has not been to [her]2250-the gipsy yet , and [she]2250-the gipsy swears [she]2250-the gipsy will not go till [she]2250-the gipsy has seen all]2251-another young single lady in the room who has not been to her yet , and she swears she will not go till she has seen all . [I]0-i thought it must be [you]2248-you : there is [no one else for it]2253-no one else for it . What shall [I]0-i tell [her]2250-the gipsy ? " "[0-i] Oh , [I]0-i will go by all means , " [I]0-i answered : and [I]0-i was glad of the unexpected opportunity to gratify [my]0-i much - excited curiosity . [I]0-i slipped out of [the room]535-the room , unobserved by any eye - for [the company]755-the company were gathered in one mass about [the trembling trio just returned]5774-the trembling trio just returned - and [I]0-i closed the door quietly behind [me]0-i . "[0-i] If [you]2248-you like , [miss]4359-miss , " said [Sam]198-sam , "[4359-miss] [I]0-i 'll wait in [the hall]608-the hall for [you]2248-you ; and if [she]2250-the gipsy frightens [you]2248-you , just call and [I]0-i 'll come in . " "[0-i] No , [Sam]198-sam , return to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen : [I]0-i am not in the least afraid . " Nor was [I]0-i ; but [I]0-i was a good deal interested and excited . CHAPTER XIX [The library]659-the library looked tranquil enough as [I]0-i entered [it]659-the library , and [the Sibyl]343-the sibyl - if [Sibyl]343-the sibyl [she]343-the sibyl were - was seated snugly enough in an easy - chair at the chimney - corner . [She]343-the sibyl had on a red cloak and a black bonnet : or rather , a broad - brimmed gipsy hat , tied down with a striped handkerchief under [her]343-the sibyl chin . An extinguished candle stood on the table ; [she]343-the sibyl was bending over the fire , and seemed reading in a little black book , like a prayer - book , by the light of the blaze : [she]343-the sibyl muttered the words to [herself]343-the sibyl , as [most old women]5776-most old women do , while [she]343-the sibyl read ; [she]343-the sibyl did not desist immediately on [my]0-i entrance : it appeared [she]343-the sibyl wished to finish a paragraph . [I]0-i stood on the rug and warmed [my]0-i hands , which were rather cold with sitting at a distance from the drawing - room fire . [I]0-i felt now as composed as ever [I]0-i did in [my]0-i life : there was nothing indeed in [the gipsy]2250-the gipsy 's appearance to trouble [one]4415-one 's calm . [She]343-the sibyl shut [her]343-the sibyl book and slowly looked up ; [her]343-the sibyl hat - brim partially shaded [her]343-the sibyl face , yet [I]0-i could see , as [she]343-the sibyl raised it , that it was a strange one . It looked all brown and black : elf - locks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under [her]343-the sibyl chin , and came half over [her]343-the sibyl cheeks , or rather jaws : [her]343-the sibyl eye confronted [me]0-i at once , with a bold and direct gaze . "[0-i] Well , and [you]2257-you want [your]2257-you fortune told ? " [she]343-the sibyl said , in a voice as decided as [her]343-the sibyl glance , as harsh as [her]343-the sibyl features . "[0-i] [I]0-i do n't care about it , [mother]4387-mother ; [you]2257-you may please [yourself]2257-you : but [I]0-i ought to warn [you]2257-you , [I]0-i have no faith . " "[2257-you] It 's like [your]2257-you impudence to say so : [I]0-i expected it of [you]2257-you ; [I]0-i heard it in [your]2257-you step as [you]2257-you crossed the threshold . " "[2257-you] Did [you]2257-you ? [You]2257-you 've a quick ear . " "[2257-you] [I]0-i have ; and a quick eye and a quick brain . " "[2257-you] [You]2257-you need them all in [your]2257-you trade . " "[0-i] [I]0-i do ; especially when [I]0-i 've customers like [you]2257-you to deal with . Why do n't [you]2257-you tremble ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i 'm not cold . " "[0-i] Why do n't [you]2257-you turn pale ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am not sick . " "[0-i] Why do n't [you]2257-you consult [my]0-i art ? " "[2257-you] [I]0-i 'm not silly . " [The old crone]5779-the old crone "[2257-you] nichered " a laugh under [her]5779-the old crone bonnet and bandage ; [she]5779-the old crone then drew out a short black pipe , and lighting it began to smoke . Having indulged a while in this sedative , [she]5779-the old crone raised [her]5779-the old crone bent body , took the pipe from [her]5779-the old crone lips , and while gazing steadily at the fire , said very deliberately - "[2257-you] [You]2257-you are cold ; [you]2257-you are sick ; and [you]2257-you are silly . " "[2257-you] Prove it , " [I]0-i rejoined . "[0-i] [I]0-i will , in few words . [You]2257-you are cold , because [you]2257-you are alone : no contact strikes the fire from [you]2257-you that is in [you]2257-you . [You]2257-you are sick ; because the best of feelings , the highest and the sweetest given to [man]4667-man , keeps far away from [you]2257-you . [You]2257-you are silly , because , suffer as [you]2257-you may , [you]2257-you will not beckon it to approach , nor will [you]2257-you stir one step to meet it where it waits [you]2257-you . " [She]5780-her again put [her]5780-her short black pipe to [her]5780-her lips , and renewed [her]5780-her smoking with vigour . "[2257-you] [You]2257-you might say all that to almost [any one who [you]2257-you knew]2260-any one who you knew lived as [a solitary dependent in [a great house]2262-a great house]2261-a solitary dependent in a great house . " "[0-i] [I]0-i might say it to almost [any one]591-any one : but would it be true of [almost any one]2264-almost any one ? " "[2264-almost any one] In [my]0-i circumstances . " "[2264-almost any one] Yes ; just so , in [YOUR]2257-you circumstances : but find [me]0-i another precisely placed as [you]2257-you are . " "[2257-you] It would be easy to find [you]2257-you thousands . " "[2257-you] [You]2257-you could scarcely find [me]0-i one . If [you]2257-you knew it , [you]2257-you are peculiarly situated : very near happiness ; yes , within reach of it . The materials are all prepared ; there only wants a movement to combine them . [Chance]344-chance laid them somewhat apart ; let them be once approached and bliss results . " "[344-chance] [I]0-i do n't understand enigmas . [I]0-i never could guess a riddle in [my]0-i life . " "[0-i] If [you]2257-you wish [me]0-i to speak more plainly , show [me]0-i [your]2257-you palm . " "[2257-you] And [I]0-i must cross it with silver , [I]0-i suppose ? " "[0-i] To be sure . " [I]0-i gave [her]2257-you a shilling : [she]2257-you put it into an old stocking - foot which [she]2257-you took out of [her]2257-you pocket , and having tied it round and returned it , [she]2257-you told [me]0-i to hold out [my]0-i hand . [I]0-i did . [She]2257-you arched [her]2257-you face to the palm , and pored over it without touching it . "[0-i] It is too fine , " said [she]2257-you . "[0-i] [I]0-i can make nothing of such a hand as that ; almost without lines : besides , what is in a palm ? Destiny is not written there . " "[0-i] [I]0-i believe [you]0-i , " said [I.]0-i "[0-i] No , " [she]2257-you continued , "[0-i] it is in the face : on the forehead , about the eyes , in the lines of the mouth . Kneel , and lift up [your]2257-you head . " "[0-i] Ah ! now [you]0-i are coming to reality , " [I]0-i said , as [I]0-i obeyed [her]2257-you . "[0-i] [I]0-i shall begin to put some faith in [you]2257-you presently . " [I]0-i knelt within half a yard of [her]2257-you . [She]2257-you stirred the fire , so that a ripple of light broke from the disturbed coal : the glare , however , as [she]2257-you sat , only threw [her]2257-you face into deeper shadow : [mine]0-i , it illumined . "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder with what feelings [you]2257-you came to [me]0-i to - night , " [she]2257-you said , when [she]2257-you had examined [me]2257-you a while . "[2257-you] [I]0-i wonder what thoughts are busy in [your]2257-you heart during all the hours [you]2257-you sit in [yonder room]2265-yonder room with [the fine people]2266-the fine people flitting before [you]2257-you like [shapes in a magic - lantern]2267-shapes in a magic - lantern : just as little sympathetic communion passing between [you]2257-you and [them]2266-the fine people as if they were really mere shadows of human forms , and not the actual substance . " "[0-i] [I]0-i feel tired often , sleepy sometimes , but seldom sad . " "[0-i] Then [you]2257-you have some secret hope to buoy [you]2257-you up and please [you]2257-you with whispers of the future ? " "[2257-you] Not [I.]2268-i. The utmost [I]0-i hope is , to save money enough out of [my]0-i earnings to set up a school some day in [a little house rented by [myself]0-i]2269-a little house rented by myself . " "[2268-i.] A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on : and sitting in that window - seat [you]2257-you see [I]0-i know [your]2257-you habits - " "[0-i] [You]2257-you have learned them from [the servants]546-the servants . " "[2257-you] Ah ! [you]2257-you think [yourself]2257-you sharp . Well , perhaps [I]0-i have : to speak truth , [I]0-i have an acquaintance with [one of [them]546-the servants]2271-one of them , [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole - " [I]2257-you started to [my]2257-you feet when [I]2257-you heard the name . "[2257-you] [You]2257-you have - have [you]2257-you ? " thought [I]2257-you ; "[2257-you] there is [diablerie]2272-diablerie in the business after all , then ! " "[2272-diablerie] Do n't be alarmed , " continued [the strange being]5781-the strange being ; ' [she]287-mrs. poole 's a safe hand is [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole : close and quiet ; [any one]591-any one may repose confidence in [her]287-mrs. poole . But , as [I]2272-diablerie was saying : sitting in that window - seat , do [you]2257-you think of nothing but [[your]2257-you future school]5783-your future school ? Have [you]2257-you no present interest in any of [the company who occupy the sofas and chairs before [you]2257-you]5784-the company who occupy the sofas and chairs before you ? Is there not one face [you]2257-you study ? one figure whose movements [you]2257-you follow with at least curiosity ? "[2272-diablerie] " [I]2272-diablerie like to observe all the faces and [all the figures]5785-all the figures . "[2272-diablerie] " But do [you]2257-you never single one from the rest - or it may be , two ? "[2272-diablerie] " [I]2272-diablerie do frequently ; when the gestures or looks of [a pair]5786-a pair seem telling a tale : it amuses [me]2272-diablerie to watch [them]5786-a pair . "[2272-diablerie] " What tale do [you]2257-you like best to hear ? "[2272-diablerie] " Oh , [I]2272-diablerie have not much choice ! [They]5786-a pair generally run on the same theme - courtship ; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage . "[2272-diablerie] " And do [you]2257-you like that monotonous theme ? "[2272-diablerie] " Positively , [I]2272-diablerie do n't care about it : it is nothing to [me]2272-diablerie . "[2272-diablerie] " Nothing to [you]2257-you ? When [a lady , young and full of life and health , charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune]5787-a lady , young and full of life and health , charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune , sits and smiles in the eyes of a gentleman [you]2257-you - "[2272-diablerie] " [I]2272-diablerie what ? "[2272-diablerie] " [You]2257-you know - and perhaps think well of . "[2272-diablerie] " [I]2272-diablerie do n't know [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen [here]4312-here . [I]2272-diablerie have scarcely interchanged a syllable with one of [them]1742-the gentlemen ; and as to thinking well of [them]1742-the gentlemen , [I]2272-diablerie consider [some respectable , and stately , and middle - aged]5790-some respectable , and stately , and middle - aged , and [others young , dashing , handsome , and lively]5791-others young , dashing , handsome , and lively : but certainly [they]1742-the gentlemen are all at liberty to be the recipients of whose smiles [they]1742-the gentlemen please , without [my]2272-diablerie feeling disposed to consider the transaction of any moment to [me]2272-diablerie . "[2272-diablerie] " [You]2257-you do n't know [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen [here]4312-here ? [You]2257-you have not exchanged a syllable with [one of [them]1742-the gentlemen]2271-one of them ? Will [you]2257-you say that of [the master of [the house]4322-the house]5795-the master of the house ! "[2272-diablerie] " [He]5795-the master of the house is not at [home]509-home . "[2272-diablerie] " A profound remark ! A most ingenious quibble ! [He]5795-the master of the house went to [Millcote]44-millcote this morning , and will be back [here]4312-here to - night or to - morrow : does that circumstance exclude [him]5795-the master of the house from the list of [your]2257-you acquaintance - blot [him]5795-the master of the house , as it were , out of existence ? "[2272-diablerie] " No ; but [I]2272-diablerie can scarcely see what [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has to do with the theme [you]2257-you had introduced . "[2272-diablerie] " [I]2272-diablerie was talking of [ladies smiling in the eyes of]5799-ladies smiling in the eyes of [gentlemen]475-gentlemen ; and of late so many smiles have been shed into [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's eyes that they overflow like two cups filled above the brim : have [you]2257-you never remarked that ? "[2272-diablerie] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has a right to enjoy the society of [[his]251-mr. rochester guests]2111-his guests . "[2272-diablerie] " No question about [his]251-mr. rochester right : but have [you]2257-you never observed that , of all the tales told here about matrimony , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has been favoured with the most lively and the most continuous ? "[2272-diablerie] " The eagerness of [a listener]5370-a listener quickens the tongue of [a narrator]5803-a narrator . "[2272-diablerie] [I]0-i said this rather to [myself]0-i than to the gipsy , whose strange talk , voice , manner , had by this time wrapped [me]0-i in a kind of dream . One unexpected sentence came from [her]2273-i lips after another , till [I]0-i got involved in a web of mystification ; and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting for weeks by [my]0-i heart watching its workings and taking record of every pulse . " Eagerness of [a listener]5370-a listener ! "[2273-i] repeated [she]2273-i : " yes ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has sat by the hour , [his]251-mr. rochester ear inclined to the fascinating lips that took such delight in [their]5805-their task of communicating ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was so willing to receive and looked so grateful for the pastime given [him]251-mr. rochester ; [you]0-i have noticed this ? "[2273-i] " Grateful ! [I]2273-i can not remember detecting gratitude in [his]251-mr. rochester face . "[2273-i] " Detecting ! [You]0-i have analysed , then . And what did [you]0-i detect , if not gratitude ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said nothing . " [You]0-i have seen love : have [you]0-i not ? - and , looking forward , [you]0-i have seen [him]251-mr. rochester married , and beheld [[his]251-mr. rochester bride]5806-his bride happy ? "[0-i] " Humph ! Not exactly . [[Your]0-i witch]5807-your witch 's skill is rather at fault sometimes . "[2273-i] " What the devil have [you]0-i seen , then ? "[2273-i] " Never mind : [I]2273-i came here to inquire , not to confess . Is it known that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is to be married ? "[2273-i] " Yes ; and to [the beautiful Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . "[2273-i] " Shortly ? "[2273-i] " Appearances would warrant that conclusion : and , no doubt though , with an audacity that wants chastising out of [you]0-i , [you]0-i seem to question it , [they]5808-they will be [a superlatively happy pair]5809-a superlatively happy pair . [He]251-mr. rochester must love such [a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady ; and probably [she]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady loves [him]251-mr. rochester , or , if not [[his]251-mr. rochester person]5811-his person , at least [his]251-mr. rochester purse . [I]2273-i know [she]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady considers [the Rochester estate]5812-the rochester estate eligible to the last degree ; though God pardon [me]2273-i ! [I]2273-i told [her]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady something on that point about an hour ago which made [her]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady look wondrous grave : the corners of [her]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady mouth fell half an inch . [I]2273-i would advise [[her]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady blackaviced suitor]5813-her blackaviced suitor to look out : if another comes , with a longer or clearer rent - roll , - [he]251-mr. rochester 's dished - "[2273-i] " But , [mother]4387-mother , [I]2273-i did not come to hear [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's fortune : [I]2273-i came to hear [my]2273-i own ; and [you]4387-mother have told [me]2273-i nothing of it . "[2273-i] " [Your]4387-mother fortune is yet doubtful : when [I]2273-i examined [your]4387-mother face , one trait contradicted another . [Chance]344-chance has meted [you]4387-mother a measure of happiness : that [I]2273-i know . [I]2273-i knew it before [I]2273-i came [here]4312-here this evening . [She]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady has laid it carefully on one side for [you]4387-mother . [I]2273-i saw [her]5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady do it . It depends on [yourself]4387-mother to stretch out [your]4387-mother hand , and take it up : but whether [you]4387-mother will do so , is the problem [I]2273-i study . Kneel again on the rug . "[2273-i] " Do n't keep [me]0-i long ; the fire scorches [me]0-i . "[0-i] [I]0-i knelt . [She]2274-she did not stoop towards [me]0-i , but only gazed , leaning back in [her]2274-she chair . [She]2274-she began muttering , - " The flame flickers in the eye ; the eye shines like dew ; it looks soft and full of feeling ; it smiles at [my]2274-she jargon : it is susceptible ; impression follows impression through its clear sphere ; where it ceases to smile , it is sad ; an unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid : that signifies melancholy resulting from loneliness . [It]5816-it turns from [me]2274-she ; it will not suffer further scrutiny ; it seems to deny , by a mocking glance , the truth of the discoveries [I]2274-she have already made , - to disown the charge both of sensibility and chagrin : its pride and reserve only confirm [me]2274-she in [my]2274-she opinion . The eye is favourable . "[2274-she] As to the mouth , it delights at times in laughter ; it is disposed to impart all that the brain conceives ; though [I]0-i daresay it would be silent on much the heart experiences . Mobile and flexible , it was never intended to be compressed in the eternal silence of solitude : it is a mouth which should speak much and smile often , and have human affection for [its]2275-its interlocutor . That feature too is propitious . " [I]2276-i see [no enemy]5817-no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the brow ; and [that brow]5818-that brow professes to say , - ' [I]2276-i can live alone , if self - respect , and circumstances require [me]2276-i so to do . [I]2276-i need not sell [my]2276-i soul to buy bliss . [I]2276-i have an inward treasure born with [me]2276-i , which can keep [me]2276-i alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld , or offered only at a price [I]2276-i can not afford to give . ' [The forehead]345-the forehead declares , ' [Reason]299-reason sits firm and holds the reins , and [she]299-reason will not let the feelings burst away and hurry [her]299-reason to wild chasms . The passions may rage furiously , like [true heathens]5819-true heathens , as they are ; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things : but judgment shall still have the last word in every argument , and the casting vote in every decision . Strong wind , earthquake - shock , and fire may pass by : but [I]2276-i shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the dictates of conscience . ' "[2276-i] Well said , forehead ; [your]2276-i declaration shall be respected . [I]0-i have formed [my]0-i plans - right plans [I]0-i deem them - and in them [I]0-i have attended to the claims of conscience , the counsels of reason . [I]0-i know how soon youth would fade and bloom perish , if , in the cup of bliss offered , but one dreg of shame , or one flavour of remorse were detected ; and [I]0-i do not want sacrifice , sorrow , dissolution - such is not [my]0-i taste . [I]0-i wish to foster , not to blight - to earn gratitude , not to wring tears of blood - no , nor of brine : [my]0-i harvest must be in smiles , in endearments , in sweet - That will do . [I]0-i think [I]0-i rave in a kind of exquisite delirium . [I]0-i should wish now to protract this moment ad infinitum ; but [I]0-i dare not . So far [I]0-i have governed [myself]0-i thoroughly . [I]0-i have acted as [I]0-i inwardly swore [I]0-i would act ; but further might try [me]0-i beyond [my]0-i strength . Rise , [Miss Eyre]146-jane : leave [me]0-i ; the play is played out ' . " Where was [I]146-jane ? Did [I]146-jane wake or sleep ? Had [I]146-jane been dreaming ? Did [I]146-jane dream still ? [The old woman]5820-the old woman 's voice had changed : [her]5820-the old woman accent , [her]5820-the old woman gesture , and all were familiar to [me]146-jane as [my]146-jane own face in a glass - as the speech of [my]146-jane own tongue . [I]146-jane got up , but did not go . [I]146-jane looked ; [I]146-jane stirred the fire , and [I]146-jane looked again : but [she]5820-the old woman drew [her]5820-the old woman bonnet and [her]5820-the old woman bandage closer about [her]5820-the old woman face , and again beckoned [me]146-jane to depart . The flame illuminated [her]5820-the old woman hand stretched out : roused now , and on the alert for discoveries , [I]146-jane at once noticed that hand . It was no more the withered limb of eld than [my]146-jane own ; it was a rounded supple member , with smooth fingers , symmetrically turned ; a broad ring flashed on the little finger , and stooping forward , [I]146-jane looked at it , and saw a gem [I]146-jane had seen a hundred times before . Again [I]146-jane looked at the face ; which was no longer turned from [me]146-jane - on the contrary , the bonnet was doffed , the bandage displaced , the head advanced . "[146-jane] Well , [Jane]146-jane , do [you]146-jane know [me]0-i ? " asked [the familiar voice]5821-the familiar voice . "[146-jane] Only take off the red cloak , [sir]4374-sir , and then - " "[146-jane] But the string is in a knot - help [me]0-i . " "[146-jane] Break it , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] There , then - ' Off , [ye]146-jane lendings ! ' " And [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester stepped out of [his]251-mr. rochester disguise . "[4374-sir] Now , [sir]4374-sir , what a strange idea ! " "[4374-sir] But well carried out , eh ? Do n't [you]4374-sir think so ? " "[4374-sir] With [the ladies]1885-the ladies [you]4374-sir must have managed well . " "[1885-the ladies] But not with [you]4374-sir ? " "[4374-sir] [You]4374-sir did not act the character of [a gipsy]2281-a gipsy with [me]0-i . " "[4374-sir] What character did [I]0-i act ? [My]0-i own ? " "[2282-some unaccountable one] No ; [some unaccountable one]2282-some unaccountable one . In short , [I]0-i believe [you]4374-sir have been trying to draw [me]0-i out - or in ; [you]4374-sir have been talking nonsense to make [me]0-i talk nonsense . It is scarcely fair , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] Do [you]4374-sir forgive [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[4374-sir] [I]0-i can not tell till [I]0-i have thought it all over . If , on reflection , [I]0-i find [I]0-i have fallen into no great absurdity , [I]0-i shall try to forgive [you]4374-sir ; but it was not right . " "[4374-sir] Oh , [you]4374-sir have been very correct - very careful , very sensible . " [I]4374-sir reflected , and thought , on the whole , [I]4374-sir had . It was a comfort ; but , indeed , [I]4374-sir had been on [my]4374-sir guard almost from the beginning of the interview . Something of masquerade [I]4374-sir suspected . [I]4374-sir knew [gipsies]5822-gipsies and [fortune - tellers]5823-fortune - tellers did not express [themselves]5822-gipsies as [this seeming old woman]5824-this seeming old woman had expressed [herself]5824-this seeming old woman ; besides [I]4374-sir had noted [her]5824-this seeming old woman feigned voice , [her]5824-this seeming old woman anxiety to conceal [her]5824-this seeming old woman features . But [my]4374-sir mind had been running on [Grace Poole]263-grace poole - that living enigma , that mystery of mysteries , as [I]4374-sir considered [her]263-grace poole . [I]4374-sir had never thought of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . "[4374-sir] Well , " said [he]251-mr. rochester , "[4374-sir] what are [you]2284-you musing about ? What does that grave smile signify ? " "[2284-you] Wonder and self - congratulation , [sir]4374-sir . [I]0-i have [your]4374-sir permission to retire now , [I]0-i suppose ? " "[0-i] No ; stay a moment ; and tell [me]0-i what [the people in [the drawing - room yonder]5081-the drawing - room yonder]2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder are doing . " "[2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder] Discussing [the gipsy]2250-the gipsy , [I]0-i daresay . " "[0-i] Sit down ! - Let [me]0-i hear what [they]2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder said about [me]0-i . " "[2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder] [I]0-i had better not stay long , [sir]4374-sir ; it must be near eleven o'clock . Oh , are [you]4374-sir aware , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , that [a stranger]799-a stranger has arrived here since [you]4374-sir left this morning ? " "[799-a stranger] [A stranger]799-a stranger ! - no ; who can it be ? [I]0-i expected [no one]593-no one ; is [he]799-a stranger gone ? " "[799-a stranger] No ; [he]799-a stranger said [he]799-a stranger had known [you]4374-sir long , and that [he]799-a stranger could take the liberty of installing [himself]799-a stranger here till [you]4374-sir returned . " "[799-a stranger] [The devil]2293-the devil [he]799-a stranger did ! Did [he]799-a stranger give [his]799-a stranger name ? " "[799-a stranger] [His]799-a stranger name is [Mason]337-mason , [sir]4374-sir ; and [he]799-a stranger comes from the [West Indies]74-the west indies ; from [Spanish Town]2295-spanish town , in [Jamaica]72-jamaica , [I]0-i think . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was standing near [me]799-a stranger ; [he]251-mr. rochester had taken [my]799-a stranger hand , as if to lead [me]799-a stranger to a chair . As [I]799-a stranger spoke [he]251-mr. rochester gave [my]799-a stranger wrist a convulsive grip ; the smile on [his]251-mr. rochester lips froze : apparently a spasm caught [his]251-mr. rochester breath . "[799-a stranger] [Mason]337-mason ! - [the West Indies]74-the west indies ! " [he]251-mr. rochester said , in the tone one might fancy [a speaking automaton]5825-a speaking automaton to enounce its single words ; "[337-mason] [Mason]337-mason ! - the West Indies ! " [he]251-mr. rochester reiterated ; and [he]251-mr. rochester went over the syllables three times , growing , in the intervals of speaking , whiter than ashes : [he]251-mr. rochester hardly seemed to know what [he]251-mr. rochester was doing . "[799-a stranger] Do [you]0-i feel ill , [sir]4374-sir ? " [I]146-jane inquired . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i 've got a blow ; [I]0-i 've got a blow , [Jane]146-jane ! " [He]251-mr. rochester staggered . "[0-i] Oh , lean on [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [you]0-i offered [me]0-i [your]146-jane shoulder once before ; let [me]0-i have it now . " "[0-i] Yes , [sir]4374-sir , yes ; and [my]0-i arm . " [He]251-mr. rochester sat down , and made [me]0-i sit beside [him]251-mr. rochester . Holding [my]0-i hand in both [his]251-mr. rochester own , [he]251-mr. rochester chafed it ; gazing on [me]0-i , at the same time , with the most troubled and dreary look . "[0-i] [[My]0-i little friend]2299-my little friend ! " said [he]251-mr. rochester , "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [I]0-i were in [a quiet island]2300-a quiet island with only [you]2299-my little friend ; and trouble , and danger , and hideous recollections removed from [me]0-i . " "[0-i] Can [I]0-i help [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir ? - [I]0-i 'd give [my]0-i life to serve [you]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , if aid is wanted , [I]0-i 'll seek it at [your]146-jane hands ; [I]0-i promise [you]146-jane that . " "[0-i] Thank [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir . Tell [me]0-i what to do , - [I]0-i 'll try , at least , to do it . " "[0-i] Fetch [me]0-i now , [Jane]146-jane , a glass of wine from [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room : [they]2304-they will be at supper [there]4426-there ; and tell [me]0-i if [Mason]337-mason is with [them]2304-they , and what [he]337-mason is doing . " [I]337-mason went . [I]337-mason found [all the party]5826-all the party in [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room at supper , as [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had said ; [they]2304-they were not seated at table , - the supper was arranged on the sideboard ; [each]898-each had taken what [he]898-each chose , and [they]2304-they stood about here and there in groups , [their]2304-they plates and glasses in [their]2304-they hands . [Every one]5511-every one seemed in high glee ; laughter and conversation were general and animated . [Mr. Mason]337-mason stood near the fire , talking to [Colonel]293-colonel dent and [Mrs. Dent]293-colonel dent , and appeared as merry as [any of [them]2304-they]5830-any of them . [I]337-mason filled a wine - glass [I]337-mason saw [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram watch [me]337-mason frowningly as [I]337-mason did so : [she]297-miss ingram thought [I]337-mason was taking a liberty , [I]337-mason daresay , and [I]337-mason returned to [the library]659-the library . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's extreme pallor had disappeared , and [he]251-mr. rochester looked once more firm and stern . [He]251-mr. rochester took the glass from [my]337-mason hand . "[337-mason] Here is to [your]2306-your health , ministrant spirit ! " [he]251-mr. rochester said . [He]251-mr. rochester swallowed the contents and returned it to [me]2307-they . "[2307-they] What are [they]2307-they doing , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[2307-they] Laughing and talking , [sir]4374-sir . " "[2307-they] [They]2307-they do n't look grave and mysterious , as if [they]2307-they had heard something strange ? " "[2307-they] Not at all : [they]2307-they are full of jests and gaiety . " "[337-mason] And [Mason]337-mason ? " "[337-mason] [He]337-mason was laughing too . " "[337-mason] If all [these people]5533-these people came in a body and spat at [me]0-i , what would [you]4374-sir do , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[4374-sir] Turn [them]2307-they out of [the room]535-the room , [sir]4374-sir , if [I]0-i could . " [He]4374-sir half smiled . "[4374-sir] But if [I]0-i were to go to [them]2307-they , and [they]2307-they only looked at [me]0-i coldly , and whispered sneeringly amongst [each other]724-each other , and then dropped off and left [me]0-i one by one , what then ? Would [you]4374-sir go with [them]2307-they ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i rather think not , [sir]4374-sir : [I]0-i should have more pleasure in staying with [you]4374-sir . " "[0-i] To comfort [me]0-i ? " "[0-i] Yes , [sir]4374-sir , to comfort [you]4374-sir , as well as [I]0-i could . " "[0-i] And if [they]2307-they laid [you]0-i under a ban for adhering to [me]0-i ? " "[2307-they] [I]0-i , probably , should know nothing about [their]2307-they ban ; and if [I]0-i did , [I]0-i should care nothing about it . " "[0-i] Then , [you]0-i could dare censure for [my]0-i sake ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i could dare it for the sake of [any friend who deserved [my]0-i adherence]2315-any friend who deserved my adherence ; as [you]4374-sir , [I]0-i am sure , do . " "[4374-sir] Go back now into [the room]535-the room ; step quietly up to [Mason]337-mason , and whisper in [his]337-mason ear that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is come and wishes to see [him]337-mason : show [him]337-mason in [here]4312-here and then leave [me]0-i . " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " [I]4374-sir did [his]4374-sir behest . [The company]755-the company all stared at [me]4374-sir as [I]4374-sir passed straight among [them]755-the company . [I]4374-sir sought [Mr. Mason]337-mason , delivered the message , and preceded [him]337-mason from [the room]535-the room : [I]4374-sir ushered [him]337-mason into [the library]659-the library , and then [I]4374-sir went [upstairs]552-upstairs . At a late hour , after [I]4374-sir had been in bed some time , [I]4374-sir heard [the visitors]5836-the visitors repair to [[their]5836-the visitors chambers]2011-their chambers : [I]4374-sir distinguished [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's voice , and heard [him]251-mr. rochester say , "[4374-sir] This way , [Mason]337-mason ; this is [[your]337-mason room]4973-your room . " [He]251-mr. rochester spoke cheerfully : the gay tones set [my]4374-sir heart at ease . [I]4374-sir was soon asleep . CHAPTER XX [I]4374-sir had forgotten to draw [my]4374-sir curtain , which [I]4374-sir usually did , and also to let down [my]4374-sir window - blind . The consequence was , that when the moon , which was full and bright for the night was fine , came in [her]5838-her course to that space in the sky opposite [[my]4374-sir casement]5839-my casement , and looked in at [me]4374-sir through the unveiled panes , [her]5838-her glorious gaze roused [me]4374-sir . Awaking in the dead of night , [I]4374-sir opened [my]4374-sir eyes on [her]5838-her disk - silver - white and crystal clear . It was beautiful , but too solemn ; [I]4374-sir half rose , and stretched [my]4374-sir arm to draw the curtain . Good God ! What a cry ! The night - its silence - its rest , was rent in twain by a savage , a sharp , a shrilly sound that ran from end to end of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall . [My]4374-sir pulse stopped : [my]4374-sir heart stood still ; [my]4374-sir stretched arm was paralysed . The cry died , and was not renewed . Indeed , whatever being uttered that fearful shriek could not soon repeat it : [not the widest - winged condor on the Andes]5840-not the widest - winged condor on the andes could , twice in succession , send out such a yell from the cloud shrouding [his]251-mr. rochester eyrie . The thing delivering such utterance must rest ere it could repeat the effort . [It]5841-it came out of [the third storey]1543-the third storey ; for it passed overhead . And overhead - yes , in [the room just above [[my]4374-sir chamber]1419-my chamber - ceiling]5843-the room just above my chamber - ceiling - [I]4374-sir now heard a struggle : a deadly one it seemed from the noise ; and a half - smothered voice shouted - "[4374-sir] Help ! help ! help ! " three times rapidly . "[4374-sir] Will [no one]593-no one come ? " it cried ; and then , while the staggering and stamping went on wildly , [I]251-mr. rochester distinguished through plank and plaster:- "[251-mr. rochester] [Rochester]251-mr. rochester ! [Rochester]251-mr. rochester ! for God 's sake , come ! " [A chamber]5845-a chamber - door opened : [some one]637-some one ran , or rushed , along [the gallery]1740-the gallery . Another step stamped on the flooring above and something fell ; and there was silence . [I]4374-sir had put on some clothes , though horror shook all [my]4374-sir limbs ; [I]4374-sir issued from [[my]4374-sir apartment]5848-my apartment . [The sleepers]5849-the sleepers were all aroused : ejaculations , terrified murmurs sounded in [every room]5850-every room ; door after door unclosed ; [one]4415-one looked out and another looked out ; [the gallery]1740-the gallery filled . [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen and [ladies alike]5854-ladies alike had quitted [their]5854-ladies alike beds ; and "[4374-sir] Oh ! what is it ? " - "[4374-sir] Who is hurt ? " - "[4374-sir] What has happened ? " - "[4374-sir] Fetch a light ! " - "[4374-sir] Is it fire ? " - "[4374-sir] Are there [robbers]5464-robbers ? " - "[5464-robbers] Where shall [we]2322-they run ? " was demanded confusedly on all hands . But for the moonlight [they]2322-they would have been in complete darkness . [They]2322-they ran to and fro ; [they]2322-they crowded together : some sobbed , some stumbled : the confusion was inextricable . "[5464-robbers] Where [the devil]2293-the devil is [Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? " cried [Colonel Dent]293-colonel dent . "[2293-the devil] [I]0-i can not find [him]251-mr. rochester in [[his]251-mr. rochester bed]2324-his bed . " "[0-i] Here ! here ! " was shouted in return . "[0-i] Be composed , all of [you]2325-you : [I]0-i 'm coming . " And the door at the end of [the gallery]1740-the gallery opened , and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester advanced with a candle : [he]251-mr. rochester had just descended from [the upper storey]5856-the upper storey . [One of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]5857-one of the ladies ran to [him]251-mr. rochester directly ; [she]5857-one of the ladies seized [his]251-mr. rochester arm : it was [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . "[0-i] What awful event has taken place ? " said [she]5857-one of the ladies . "[0-i] Speak ! let [us]2326-us know the worst at once ! " "[0-i] But do n't pull [me]0-i down or strangle [me]0-i , " [he]251-mr. rochester replied : for [the Misses Eshton]338-the misses eshton were clinging about [him]251-mr. rochester now ; and [the two dowagers]5859-the two dowagers , in vast white wrappers , were bearing down on [him]251-mr. rochester like [ships in full sail]5860-ships in full sail . "[0-i] All 's right ! - all 's right ! " [he]251-mr. rochester cried . "[0-i] It 's a mere rehearsal of Much Ado about Nothing . [Ladies]745-ladies , keep off , or [I]0-i shall wax dangerous . " And dangerous [he]251-mr. rochester looked : [his]251-mr. rochester black eyes darted sparks . Calming [himself]251-mr. rochester by an effort , [he]251-mr. rochester added - "[0-i] [A servant]4337-a servant has had the nightmare ; that is all . [She]4337-a servant 's [an excitable , nervous person]2329-an excitable , nervous person : [she]4337-a servant construed [her]4337-a servant dream into an apparition , or something of that sort , no doubt ; and has taken a fit with fright . Now , then , [I]0-i must see [you]2330-you all back into [[your]2330-you rooms]2331-your rooms ; for , till [the house]4322-the house is settled , [she]4337-a servant can not be looked after . [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen , have the goodness to set [the ladies]1885-the ladies the example . [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , [I]0-i am sure [you]2330-you will not fail in evincing superiority to idle terrors . [Amy]302-amy and [Louisa]303-louisa , return to [[your]2330-you nests]2335-your nests like a pair of doves , as [you]2330-you are . [Mesdames]346-mesdames " to [the dowagers]5861-the dowagers , "[346-mesdames] [you]2330-you will take cold to a dead certainty , if [you]2330-you stay in this chill gallery any longer . " And so , by dint of alternate coaxing and commanding , [he]0-i contrived to get [them]5861-the dowagers all once more enclosed in [[their]5861-the dowagers separate dormitories]5862-their separate dormitories . [I]346-mesdames did not wait to be ordered back to [mine]346-mesdames , but retreated unnoticed , as unnoticed [I]346-mesdames had left [it]5863-it . Not , however , to go to bed : on the contrary , [I]346-mesdames began and dressed [myself]346-mesdames carefully . The sounds [I]346-mesdames had heard after the scream , and the words that had been uttered , had probably been heard only by [me]346-mesdames ; for [they]5861-the dowagers had proceeded from [the room above [mine]346-mesdames]5864-the room above mine : but [they]5861-the dowagers assured [me]346-mesdames that it was not [a servant]4337-a servant 's dream which had thus struck horror through [the house]4322-the house ; and that the explanation [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had given was merely an invention framed to pacify [[his]251-mr. rochester guests]2111-his guests . [I]346-mesdames dressed , then , to be ready for emergencies . When dressed , [I]346-mesdames sat a long time by the window looking out over [the silent grounds]5868-the silent grounds and silvered fields and waiting for [I]346-mesdames knew not what . It seemed to [me]346-mesdames that some event must follow the strange cry , struggle , and call . No : stillness returned : each murmur and movement ceased gradually , and in about an hour [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall was again as hushed as [a desert]5869-a desert . It seemed that sleep and night had resumed [their]5861-the dowagers empire . Meantime the moon declined : [she]5870-she was about to set . Not liking to sit in the cold and darkness , [I]346-mesdames thought [I]346-mesdames would lie down on [my]346-mesdames bed , dressed as [I]346-mesdames was . [I]346-mesdames left the window , and moved with little noise across the carpet ; as [I]346-mesdames stooped to take off [my]346-mesdames shoes , a cautious hand tapped low at the door . "[346-mesdames] Am [I]0-i wanted ? " [I]346-mesdames asked . "[346-mesdames] Are [you]0-i up ? " asked the voice [I]4374-sir expected to hear , viz . , [[my]4374-sir master]4336-my master 's . "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] And dressed ? " "[346-mesdames] Yes . " "[346-mesdames] Come out , then , quietly . " [I]346-mesdames obeyed . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester stood in [the gallery]1740-the gallery holding a light . "[346-mesdames] [I]0-i want [you]0-i , " [he]0-i said : "[0-i] come this way : take [your]0-i time , and make no noise . " [My]0-i slippers were thin : [I]0-i could walk the matted floor as softly as a cat . [He]0-i glided up [the gallery]1740-the gallery and up the stairs , and stopped in [the dark , low corridor of [the fateful third storey]5875-the fateful third storey]5874-the dark , low corridor of the fateful third storey : [I]0-i had followed and stood at [his]0-i side . "[0-i] Have [you]0-i a sponge in [[your]0-i room]4973-your room ? " [he]0-i asked in a whisper . "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] Have [you]0-i any salts - volatile salts ? " "[4374-sir] Yes . " "[4374-sir] Go back and fetch both . " [I]4374-sir returned , sought the sponge on the washstand , the salts in [my]4374-sir drawer , and once more retraced [my]4374-sir steps . [He]0-i still waited ; [he]0-i held a key in [his]0-i hand : approaching one of the small , black doors , [he]0-i put it in the lock ; [he]0-i paused , and addressed [me]4374-sir again . "[4374-sir] [You]0-i do n't turn sick at the sight of blood ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i shall not : [I]0-i have never been tried yet . " [I]0-i felt a thrill while [I]0-i answered [him]0-i ; but no coldness , and no faintness . "[0-i] Just give [me]0-i [your]0-i hand , " [he]0-i said : "[0-i] it will not do to risk a fainting fit . " [I]0-i put [my]0-i fingers into [his]0-i . "[0-i] Warm and steady , " was [his]0-i remark : [he]0-i turned the key and opened the door . [I]0-i saw [a room [I]0-i remembered to have seen before]5876-a room i remembered to have seen before , the day [Mrs. Fairfax]295-mrs. fairfax showed [me]0-i over [the house]4322-the house : [it]5876-a room i remembered to have seen before was hung with tapestry ; but the tapestry was now looped up in one part , and there was a door apparent , which had then been concealed . This door was open ; a light shone out of [the room within]5878-the room within : [I]0-i heard thence a snarling , snatching sound , almost like a dog quarrelling . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , putting down [his]0-i candle , said to [me]0-i , "[0-i] Wait a minute , " and [he]0-i went forward to [the inner apartment]5879-the inner apartment . A shout of laughter greeted [his]0-i entrance ; noisy at first , and terminating in [Grace Poole]263-grace poole 's own goblin ha ! ha ! [SHE]263-grace poole then was there . [He]0-i made some sort of arrangement without speaking , though [I]0-i heard a low voice address [him]0-i : [he]0-i came out and closed the door behind [him]0-i . "[0-i] Here , [Jane]146-jane ! " [he]0-i said ; and [I]146-jane walked round to the other side of a large bed , which with [its]5876-a room i remembered to have seen before drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of [the chamber]4856-the chamber . An easy - chair was near the bed - head : [a man]4429-a man sat in it , dressed with the exception of [his]4429-a man coat ; [he]4429-a man was still ; [his]4429-a man head leant back ; [his]4429-a man eyes were closed . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester held the candle over [him]0-i ; [I]146-jane recognised in [his]0-i pale and seemingly lifeless face - [the stranger]5632-the stranger , [Mason]337-mason : [I]146-jane saw too that [his]0-i linen on one side , and one arm , was almost soaked in blood . "[146-jane] Hold the candle , " said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , and [I]146-jane took it : [he]0-i fetched a basin of water from [the washstand]783-the washstand : "[146-jane] Hold that , " said [he]0-i . [I]146-jane obeyed . [He]0-i took the sponge , dipped it in , and moistened the corpse - like face ; [he]0-i asked for [my]146-jane smelling - bottle , and applied it to the nostrils . [Mr. Mason]337-mason shortly unclosed [his]337-mason eyes ; [he]337-mason groaned . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester opened the shirt of [the wounded man]5884-the wounded man , whose arm and shoulder were bandaged : [he]251-mr. rochester sponged away blood , trickling fast down . "[146-jane] Is there immediate danger ? " murmured [Mr. Mason]337-mason . "[146-jane] Pooh ! No - a mere scratch . Do n't be so overcome , [man]4667-man : bear up ! [I]0-i 'll fetch [a surgeon]5136-a surgeon for [you]4667-man now , [myself]0-i : [you]4667-man 'll be able to be removed by morning , [I]0-i hope . [Jane]146-jane , " [he]0-i continued . "[4374-sir] [Sir]4374-sir ? " "[4374-sir] [I]0-i shall have to leave [you]4667-man in [this room]570-this room with [this gentleman]2343-this gentleman , for an hour , or perhaps two hours : [you]4667-man will sponge the blood as [I]0-i do when it returns : if [he]2343-this gentleman feels faint , [you]4667-man will put the glass of water on that stand to [his]2343-this gentleman lips , and [your]4667-man salts to [his]2343-this gentleman nose . [You]4667-man will not speak to [him]2343-this gentleman on any pretext - and - [Richard]308-richard , it will be at the peril of [your]4667-man life if [you]4667-man speak to [her]2344-her : open [your]4667-man lips - agitate [yourself-]4667-man -and [I]0-i 'll not answer for the consequences . " Again [the poor man]5885-the poor man groaned ; [he]5885-the poor man looked as if [he]5885-the poor man dared not move ; fear , either of death or of something else , appeared almost to paralyse [him]5885-the poor man . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester put the now bloody sponge into [my]0-i hand , and [I]0-i proceeded to use it as [he]251-mr. rochester had done . [He]251-mr. rochester watched [me]0-i a second , then saying , "[0-i] Remember ! - No conversation , " [he]251-mr. rochester left [the room]535-the room . [I]146-jane experienced a strange feeling as the key grated in the lock , and the sound of [his]251-mr. rochester retreating step ceased to be heard . Here then [I]146-jane was in [the third storey]1543-the third storey , fastened into one of [[its]1543-the third storey mystic cells]5888-its mystic cells ; night around [me]146-jane ; a pale and bloody spectacle under [my]146-jane eyes and hands ; [a murderess]5889-a murderess hardly separated from [me]146-jane by a single door : yes - that was appalling - the rest [I]146-jane could bear ; but [I]146-jane shuddered at the thought of [Grace Poole]263-grace poole bursting out upon [me]146-jane . [I]146-jane must keep to [my]146-jane post , however . [I]146-jane must watch this ghastly countenance - these blue , still lips forbidden to unclose - these eyes now shut , now opening , now wandering through [the room]535-the room , now fixing on [me]146-jane , and ever glazed with the dulness of horror . [I]146-jane must dip [my]146-jane hand again and again in the basin of blood and water , and wipe away the trickling gore . [I]146-jane must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on [my]146-jane employment ; the shadows darken on the wrought , antique tapestry round [me]146-jane , and grow black under the hangings of the vast old bed , and quiver strangely over the doors of a great cabinet opposite - whose front , divided into twelve panels , bore , in grim design , the heads of [the twelve apostles]5891-the twelve apostles , each enclosed in its separate panel as in a frame ; while above them at the top rose an ebon crucifix and [a dying Christ]5892-a dying christ . According as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here or glanced there , it was now [the bearded physician]5893-the bearded physician , [Luke]347-luke , that bent [his]347-luke brow ; now [St. John]177-st. john 's long hair that waved ; and anon the devilish face of [Judas]348-judas , that grew out of the panel , and seemed gathering life and threatening a revelation of the arch - traitor - of [Satan]349-satan [himself]349-satan - in [[his]349-satan subordinate]5894-his subordinate 's form . Amidst all this , [I]146-jane had to listen as well as watch : to listen for the movements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder side den . But since [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's visit it seemed spellbound : all the night [I]146-jane heard but three sounds at three long intervals , - a step creak , a momentary renewal of the snarling , canine noise , and a deep human groan . Then [my]146-jane own thoughts worried [me]146-jane . What crime was this that lived incarnate in [this sequestered mansion]5895-this sequestered mansion , and could neither be expelled nor subdued by [the owner]5896-the owner ? - what mystery , that broke out now in fire and now in blood , at the deadest hours of night ? What creature was it , that , masked in [an ordinary woman]5897-an ordinary woman 's face and shape , uttered the voice , now of [a mocking demon , and anon of a carrion - seeking bird of prey]5898-a mocking demon , and anon of a carrion - seeking bird of prey ? And [this man]495-this man [I]146-jane bent over - [this commonplace , quiet stranger]5900-this commonplace , quiet stranger - how had [he]495-this man become involved in the web of horror ? and why had the Fury flown at [him]495-this man ? What made [him]495-this man seek [this quarter of [the house]4322-the house]5901-this quarter of the house at an untimely season , when [he]495-this man should have been asleep in bed ? [I]146-jane had heard [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester assign [him]495-this man [an apartment below]5903-an apartment below - what brought [him]495-this man [here]4312-here ! And why , now , was [he]495-this man so tame under the violence or treachery done [him]495-this man ? Why did [he]495-this man so quietly submit to the concealment [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester enforced ? Why DID [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester enforce this concealment ? [[His]251-mr. rochester guest]5905-his guest had been outraged , [his]251-mr. rochester own life on a former occasion had been hideously plotted against ; and both attempts [he]251-mr. rochester smothered in secrecy and sank in oblivion ! Lastly , [I]146-jane saw [Mr. Mason]337-mason was submissive to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; that the impetuous will of [the latter]719-the latter held complete sway over the inertness of [the former]5907-the former : the few words which had passed between [them]719-the latter assured [me]146-jane of this . It was evident that in [their]719-the latter former intercourse , the passive disposition of [the one]5908-the one had been habitually influenced by the active energy of the other : whence then had arisen [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's dismay when [he]251-mr. rochester heard of [Mr. Mason]337-mason 's arrival ? Why had the mere name of [this unresisting individual]5909-this unresisting individual - whom [his]251-mr. rochester word now sufficed to control like [a child]4305-a child - fallen on [him]251-mr. rochester , a few hours since , as a thunderbolt might fall on an oak ? Oh ! [I]146-jane could not forget [his]0-i look and [his]0-i paleness when [he]0-i whispered : "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i have got a blow - [I]0-i have got a blow , [Jane]146-jane . " [I]146-jane could not forget how the arm had trembled which [he]0-i rested on [my]146-jane shoulder : and it was no light matter which could thus bow the resolute spirit and thrill the vigorous frame of [Fairfax Rochester]271-fairfax rochester . "[146-jane] When will [he]0-i come ? When will [he]0-i come ? " [I]146-jane cried inwardly , as the night lingered and lingered - as [[my]146-jane bleeding patient]5911-my bleeding patient drooped , moaned , sickened : and neither day nor aid arrived . [I]146-jane had , again and again , held the water to [Mason]337-mason 's white lips ; again and again offered [him]337-mason the stimulating salts : [my]146-jane efforts seemed ineffectual : either bodily or mental suffering , or loss of blood , or all three combined , were fast prostrating [his]337-mason strength . [He]337-mason moaned so , and looked so weak , wild , and lost , [I]146-jane feared [he]337-mason was dying ; and [I]146-jane might not even speak to [him]337-mason . The candle , wasted at last , went out ; as it expired , [I]146-jane perceived streaks of grey light edging the window curtains : dawn was then approaching . Presently [I]146-jane heard [Pilot]267-pilot bark far below , out of [[his]267-pilot distant kennel]5912-his distant kennel in [the courtyard]5913-the courtyard : hope revived . Nor was it unwarranted : in five minutes more the grating key , the yielding lock , warned [me]146-jane [my]146-jane watch was relieved . It could not have lasted more than two hours : many a week has seemed shorter . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester entered , and with [him]251-mr. rochester [the surgeon [he]251-mr. rochester had been to fetch]5914-the surgeon he had been to fetch . "[146-jane] Now , [Carter]270-carter , be on the alert , " [he]0-i said to this last : "[270-carter] [I]0-i give [you]270-carter but half - an - hour for dressing the wound , fastening the bandages , getting [the patient]2345-the patient [downstairs]1218-downstairs and all . " "[0-i] But is [he]2345-the patient fit to move , [sir]4374-sir ? " "[0-i] No doubt of it ; it is nothing serious ; [he]2345-the patient is nervous , [his]2345-the patient spirits must be kept up . Come , set to work . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester drew back the thick curtain , drew up the holland blind , let in all the daylight [he]251-mr. rochester could ; and [I]2348-my good fellow was surprised and cheered to see how far dawn was advanced : what rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the east . Then [he]251-mr. rochester approached [Mason]337-mason , whom [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon was already handling . "[2348-my good fellow] Now , [[my]0-i good fellow]2348-my good fellow , how are [you]2348-my good fellow ? " [he]0-i asked . "[2349-she] [She]2349-she 's done for [me]0-i , [I]0-i fear , " was the faint reply . "[2349-she] Not a whit ! - courage ! This day fortnight [you]2348-my good fellow 'll hardly be a pin the worse of it : [you]2348-my good fellow 've lost a little blood ; that 's all . [Carter]270-carter , assure [him]2345-the patient there 's no danger . " "[270-carter] [I]0-i can do that conscientiously , " said [Carter]270-carter , who had now undone the bandages ; "[0-i] only [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could have got [here]4312-here sooner : [he]2345-the patient would not have bled so much - but how is this ? The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well as cut . This wound was not done with a knife : there have been teeth here ! " "[2349-she] [She]2349-she bit [me]0-i , " [he]0-i murmured . "[2349-she] [She]2349-she worried [me]0-i like a tigress , when [Rochester]251-mr. rochester got the knife from [her]2349-she . " "[251-mr. rochester] [You]251-mr. rochester should not have yielded : [you]251-mr. rochester should have grappled with [her]2349-she at once , " said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . "[251-mr. rochester] But under such circumstances , what could [one]4415-one do ? " returned [Mason]337-mason . "[4415-one] Oh , it was frightful ! " [he]0-i added , shuddering . "[4415-one] And [I]0-i did not expect it : [she]2349-she looked so quiet at first . " "[2349-she] [I]0-i warned [you]251-mr. rochester , " was [[his]0-i friend]1054-his friend 's answer ; "[0-i] [I]0-i said - be on [your]251-mr. rochester guard when [you]251-mr. rochester go near [her]2349-she . Besides , [you]251-mr. rochester might have waited till to- morrow , and had [me]0-i with [you]251-mr. rochester : it was mere folly to attempt the interview to - night , and alone . " "[0-i] [I]0-i thought [I]0-i could have done some good . " "[251-mr. rochester] [You]251-mr. rochester thought ! [you]251-mr. rochester thought ! Yes , it makes [me]0-i impatient to hear [you]251-mr. rochester : but , however , [you]251-mr. rochester have suffered , and are likely to suffer enough for not taking [my]0-i advice ; so [I]0-i 'll say no more . [Carter]270-carter - hurry ! - hurry ! The sun will soon rise , and [I]0-i must have [him]270-carter off . " "[270-carter] Directly , [sir]4374-sir ; the shoulder is just bandaged . [I]0-i must look to this other wound in the arm : [she]2349-she has had [her]2349-she teeth here too , [I]0-i think . " "[2349-she] [She]2349-she sucked the blood : [she]2349-she said [she]2349-she 'd drain [my]0-i heart , " said [Mason]337-mason . [I]2349-she saw [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester shudder : a singularly marked expression of disgust , horror , hatred , warped [his]251-mr. rochester countenance almost to distortion ; but [he]251-mr. rochester only said - "[2349-she] Come , be silent , [Richard]308-richard , and never mind [her]2349-she gibberish : do n't repeat it . " "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could forget it , " was the answer . "[308-richard] [You]308-richard will when [you]308-richard are out of [the country]4525-the country : when [you]308-richard get back to [Spanish Town]77-spanish town , [you]308-richard may think of [her]2349-she as dead and buried - or rather , [you]308-richard need not think of [her]2349-she at all . " "[308-richard] Impossible to forget this night ! " "[308-richard] It is not impossible : have some energy , [man]4667-man . [You]308-richard thought [you]308-richard were as dead as a herring two hours since , and [you]308-richard are all alive and talking now . There ! - [Carter]270-carter has done with [you]308-richard or nearly so ; [I]0-i 'll make [you]308-richard decent in a trice . [Jane]146-jane " [he]0-i turned to [me]270-carter for the first time since [his]0-i re - entrance , "[270-carter] take this key : go down into [[my]0-i bedroom]2355-my bedroom , and walk straight forward into [[my]0-i dressing - room]2356-my dressing - room : open the top drawer of the wardrobe and take out a clean shirt and neck - handkerchief : bring them here ; and be nimble . " [I]270-carter went ; sought [the repository [he]0-i had mentioned]5917-the repository he had mentioned , found the articles named , and returned with them . "[270-carter] Now , " said [he]0-i , "[270-carter] go to the other side of the bed while [I]0-i order [his]0-i toilet ; but do n't leave [the room]535-the room : [you]308-richard may be wanted again . " [I]4330-anybody retired as directed . "[4330-anybody] Was [anybody]4330-anybody stirring below when [you]308-richard went down , [Jane]146-jane ? " inquired [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester presently . "[4330-anybody] No , [sir]4374-sir ; all was very still . " "[4330-anybody] [We]2360-we shall get [you]308-richard off cannily , [Dick]350-dick : and it will be better , both for [your]308-richard sake , and for that of the poor creature in yonder . [I]0-i have striven long to avoid exposure , and [I]0-i should not like it to come at last . Here , [Carter]270-carter , help [him]270-carter on with [his]270-carter waist - coat . Where did [you]308-richard leave [your]308-richard furred cloak ? [You]308-richard ca n't travel a mile without that , [I]0-i know , in this damned cold climate . In [[your]308-richard room]4973-your room ? - [Jane]146-jane , run down to [[Mr. Mason]337-mason 's room]2362-mr. mason 's room , - [the one next [mine]0-i]2363-the one next mine , - and fetch a cloak [you]308-richard will see there . " Again [I]308-richard ran , and again returned , bearing an immense mantle lined and edged with fur . "[308-richard] Now , [I]0-i 've another errand for [you]146-jane , " said [[my]0-i untiring master]5918-my untiring master ; "[0-i] [you]146-jane must away to [[my]0-i room]4787-my room again . What a mercy [you]146-jane are shod with velvet , [Jane]146-jane ! - [a clod - hopping messenger]2365-a clod - hopping messenger would never do at this juncture . [You]146-jane must open the middle drawer of [my]0-i toilet - table and take out a little phial and a little glass [you]308-richard will find there , - quick ! " [I]146-jane flew thither and back , bringing the desired vessels . "[146-jane] That 's well ! Now , [doctor]2366-doctor , [I]0-i shall take the liberty of administering a dose [myself]0-i , on [my]0-i own responsibility . [I]0-i got this cordial at [Rome]17-rome , of [an Italian charlatan]2367-an italian charlatan - [a fellow [you]308-richard would have kicked]2368-a fellow you would have kicked , [Carter]270-carter . It is not a thing to be used indiscriminately , but it is good upon occasion : as now , for instance . [Jane]146-jane , a little water . " [He]0-i held out the tiny glass , and [I]146-jane half filled it from the water - bottle on the washstand . "[146-jane] That will do ; - now wet the lip of the phial . " [I]308-richard did so ; [he]0-i measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid , and presented it to [Mason]337-mason . "[308-richard] Drink , [Richard]308-richard : it will give [you]308-richard the heart [you]308-richard lack , for an hour or so . " "[308-richard] But will it hurt [me]0-i ? - is it inflammatory ? " "[308-richard] Drink ! drink ! drink ! " [Mr. Mason]337-mason obeyed , because it was evidently useless to resist . [He]337-mason was dressed now : [he]337-mason still looked pale , but [he]337-mason was no longer gory and sullied . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester let [him]337-mason sit three minutes after [he]337-mason had swallowed the liquid ; [he]0-i then took [his]337-mason arm - "[308-richard] Now [I]0-i am sure [you]308-richard can get on [your]308-richard feet , " [he]0-i said - "[0-i] try . " [The patient]2345-the patient rose . "[270-carter] [Carter]270-carter , take [him]308-richard under the other shoulder . Be of good cheer , [Richard]308-richard ; step out - that 's it ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i do feel better , " remarked [Mr. Mason]337-mason . "[308-richard] [I]0-i am sure [you]308-richard do . Now , [Jane]146-jane , trip on before [us]2369-us away to the backstairs ; unbolt the side - passage door , and tell the driver of the post - chaise [you]308-richard will see in [the yard]2370-the yard - or just outside , for [I]0-i told [him]308-richard not to drive [his]308-richard rattling wheels over the pavement - to be ready ; [we]2369-us are coming : and , [Jane]146-jane , if any one is about , come to the foot of the stairs and hem . " It was by this time half - past five , and the sun was on the point of rising ; but [I]146-jane found [the kitchen]658-the kitchen still dark and silent . The side- passage door was fastened ; [I]146-jane opened it with as little noise as possible : all [the yard]2370-the yard was quiet ; but the gates stood wide open , and there was a post - chaise , with horses ready harnessed , and [driver]5922-driver seated on the box , stationed outside . [I]146-jane approached [him]337-mason , and said [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen were coming ; [he]337-mason nodded : then [I]146-jane looked carefully round and listened . The stillness of early morning slumbered everywhere ; the curtains were yet drawn over [[the servants]546-the servants ' chamber]5925-the servants ' chamber windows ; little birds were just twittering in the blossom - blanched orchard trees , whose boughs drooped like white garlands over the wall enclosing one side of [the yard]2370-the yard ; [the carriage horses]5927-the carriage horses stamped from time to time in [[their]5927-the carriage horses closed stables]5928-their closed stables : all else was still . [The gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen now appeared . [Mason]337-mason , supported by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon , seemed to walk with tolerable ease : [they]1742-the gentlemen assisted [him]2371-he into the chaise ; [Carter]270-carter followed . "[146-jane] Take care of [him]2371-he , " said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester to [the latter]719-the latter , "[146-jane] and keep [him]2371-he at [[your]2372-your house]2373-your house till [he]2371-he is quite well : [I]0-i shall ride over in a day or two to see how [he]2371-he gets on . [Richard]308-richard , how is it with [you]2372-your ? " "[308-richard] The fresh air revives [me]0-i , [Fairfax]271-fairfax rochester . " "[271-fairfax rochester] Leave the window open on [his]2371-he side , [Carter]270-carter ; there is no wind - good- bye , [Dick]350-dick . " "[271-fairfax rochester] [Fairfax]271-fairfax rochester - " "[271-fairfax rochester] Well what is it ? " "[2371-he] Let [her]2371-he be taken care of ; let [her]2371-he be treated as tenderly as may be : let [her]2371-he - " [he]2371-he stopped and burst into tears . "[2371-he] [I]0-i do [my]0-i best ; and have done it , and will do it , " was the answer : [he]2371-he shut up the chaise door , and [the vehicle]1356-the vehicle drove away . "[0-i] Yet would to [God]180-mrs. fairfax there was an end of all this ! " added [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , as [he]2371-he closed and barred [the heavy yard]5933-the heavy yard - gates . This done , [he]2371-he moved with slow step and abstracted air towards a door in the wall bordering [the orchard]5934-the orchard . [I]146-jane , supposing [he]2371-he had done with [me]146-jane , prepared to return to [the house]4322-the house ; again , however , [I]146-jane heard [him]2371-he call "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! " [He]2371-he had opened feel portal and stood at [it]5120-that house , waiting for [me]146-jane . "[146-jane] Come where there is some freshness , for a few moments , " [he]2371-he said ; "[146-jane] [that house]5120-that house is [a mere dungeon]2375-a mere dungeon : do n't [you]146-jane feel it so ? " "[146-jane] [It]5120-that house seems to [me]0-i [a splendid mansion]2376-a splendid mansion , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] The glamour of inexperience is over [your]146-jane eyes , " [he]2371-he answered ; "[4374-sir] and [you]146-jane see it through a charmed medium : [you]146-jane can not discern that the gilding is slime and the silk draperies cobwebs ; that the marble is sordid slate , and the polished woods mere refuse chips and scaly bark . Now HERE " [he]2371-he pointed to the leafy enclosure [we]5936-we had entered "[146-jane] all is real , sweet , and pure . " [He]2371-he strayed down [a walk edged with box]5937-a walk edged with box , with apple trees , pear trees , and cherry trees on one side , and a border on the other full of all sorts of old - fashioned flowers , stocks , sweet - williams , primroses , pansies , mingled with southernwood , sweet - briar , and various fragrant herbs . They were fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams , followed by a lovely spring morning , could make them : the sun was just entering [the dappled east]5938-the dappled east , and [his]2371-he light illumined the wreathed and dewy orchard trees and shone down the quiet walks under [them]5939-them . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , will [you]146-jane have a flower ? " [He]2371-he gathered a half - blown rose , the first on the bush , and offered it to [me]146-jane . "[146-jane] Thank [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] Do [you]146-jane like this sunrise , [Jane]146-jane ? That sky with its high and light clouds which are sure to melt away as the day waxes warm - this placid and balmly atmosphere ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do , very much . " "[0-i] [You]146-jane have passed a strange night , [Jane]146-jane . " "[146-jane] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] And it has made [you]146-jane look pale - were [you]146-jane afraid when [I]0-i left [you]146-jane alone with [Mason]337-mason ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i was afraid of [some one]637-some one coming out of [the inner room]2381-the inner room . " "[637-some one] But [I]0-i had fastened the door - [I]0-i had the key in [my]0-i pocket : [I]0-i should have been [a careless shepherd]2382-a careless shepherd if [I]0-i had left a lamb - [my]0-i pet lamb - so near a wolf 's den , unguarded : [you]146-jane were safe . " "[263-grace poole] Will [Grace Poole]263-grace poole live [here]4312-here still , [sir]4374-sir ? " "[263-grace poole] Oh yes ! do n't trouble [your]146-jane head about [her]263-grace poole - put the thing out of [your]146-jane thoughts . " "[263-grace poole] Yet it seems to [me]0-i [your]146-jane life is hardly secure while [she]263-grace poole stays . " "[263-grace poole] Never fear - [I]0-i will take care of [myself]0-i . " "[0-i] Is the danger [you]4374-sir apprehended last night gone by now , [sir]4374-sir ? " "[4374-sir] [I]0-i can not vouch for that till [Mason]337-mason is out of [England]21-england : nor even then . To live , for [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane , is to stand on a crater - crust which may crack and spue fire any day . " "[337-mason] But [Mr. Mason]337-mason seems [a man easily led]2386-a man easily led . [Your]146-jane influence , [sir]4374-sir , is evidently potent with [him]337-mason : [he]337-mason will never set [you]146-jane at defiance or wilfully injure [you]146-jane . " "[337-mason] Oh , no ! [Mason]337-mason will not defy [me]0-i ; nor , knowing it , will [he]337-mason hurt [me]0-i - but , unintentionally , [he]337-mason might in a moment , by one careless word , deprive [me]0-i , if not of life , yet for ever of happiness . " "[337-mason] Tell [him]337-mason to be cautious , [sir]4374-sir : let [him]337-mason know what [you]4374-sir fear , and show [him]337-mason how to avert the danger . " [He]337-mason laughed sardonically , hastily took [my]337-mason hand , and as hastily threw it from [him]337-mason . "[337-mason] If [I]0-i could do that , [simpleton]2389-simpleton , where would the danger be ? Annihilated in a moment . Ever since [I]0-i have known [Mason]337-mason , [I]0-i have only had to say to [him]337-mason ' Do that , ' and the thing has been done . But [I]0-i can not give [him]337-mason orders in this case : [I]0-i can not say ' Beware of harming [me]0-i , [Richard]308-richard ; ' for it is imperative that [I]0-i should keep [him]337-mason ignorant that harm to [me]0-i is possible . Now [you]4374-sir look puzzled ; and [I]0-i will puzzle [you]4374-sir further . [You]4374-sir are [[my]0-i little friend]2299-my little friend , are [you]4374-sir not ? " "[4374-sir] [I]0-i like to serve [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir , and to obey [you]4374-sir in all that is right . " "[0-i] Precisely : [I]0-i see [you]4374-sir do . [I]0-i see genuine contentment in [your]4374-sir gait and mien , [your]4374-sir eye and face , when [you]4374-sir are helping [me]0-i and pleasing [me]0-i - working for [me]0-i , and with [me]0-i , in , as [you]4374-sir characteristically say , ' ALL THAT IS RIGHT : ' for if [I]0-i bid [you]4374-sir do what [you]4374-sir thought wrong , there would be no light - footed running , no neat - handed alacrity , no lively glance and animated complexion . [[My]0-i friend]4521-my friend would then turn to [me]0-i , quiet and pale , and would say , ' No , [sir]4374-sir ; that is impossible : [I]0-i can not do it , because it is wrong ; ' and would become immutable as a fixed star . Well , [you]4374-sir too have power over [me]0-i , and may injure [me]0-i : yet [I]0-i dare not show [you]4374-sir where [I]0-i am vulnerable , lest , faithful and friendly as [you]4374-sir are , [you]4374-sir should transfix [me]0-i at once . " "[4374-sir] If [you]4374-sir have no more to fear from [Mr. Mason]337-mason than [you]4374-sir have from [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , [you]4374-sir are very safe . " "[180-mrs. fairfax] [God]180-mrs. fairfax grant it may be so ! Here , [Jane]146-jane , is an arbour ; sit down . " The arbour was an arch in the wall , lined with ivy ; [it]5940-it contained a rustic seat . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester took it , leaving room , however , for [me]146-jane : but [I]146-jane stood before [him]0-i . "[146-jane] Sit , " [he]0-i said ; "[146-jane] the bench is long enough for two . [You]146-jane do n't hesitate to take a place at [my]0-i side , do [you]146-jane ? Is that wrong , [Jane]146-jane ? " [I]146-jane answered [him]0-i by assuming it : to refuse would , [I]146-jane felt , have been unwise . "[146-jane] Now , [[my]0-i little friend]2299-my little friend , while the sun drinks the dew - while all the flowers in [this old garden]2396-this old garden awake and expand , and the birds fetch [[their]2397-their young ones]2398-their young ones ' breakfast out of the Thornfield , and the early bees do [their]2399-their first spell of work - [I]0-i 'll put a case to [you]2299-my little friend , which [you]2299-my little friend must endeavour to suppose [your]2299-my little friend own : but first , look at [me]0-i , and tell [me]0-i [you]2299-my little friend are at ease , and not fearing that [I]0-i err in detaining [you]2299-my little friend , or that [you]2299-my little friend err in staying . " "[4374-sir] No , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]0-i am content . " "[4374-sir] Well then , [Jane]146-jane , call to aid [your]2299-my little friend fancy:- suppose [you]2299-my little friend were no longer [a girl well reared and disciplined]2401-a girl well reared and disciplined , but [a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards]2402-a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards ; imagine [yourself]2299-my little friend in [a remote foreign land]2403-a remote foreign land ; conceive that [you]2299-my little friend there commit a capital error , no matter of what nature or from what motives , but one whose consequences must follow [you]2299-my little friend through life and taint all [your]2299-my little friend existence . Mind , [I]0-i do n't say a CRIME ; [I]0-i am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty act , which might make [the perpetrator]2404-the perpetrator amenable to the law : [my]0-i word is ERROR . The results of what [you]2299-my little friend have done become in time to [you]2299-my little friend utterly insupportable ; [you]2299-my little friend take measures to obtain relief : unusual measures , but neither unlawful nor culpable . Still [you]2299-my little friend are miserable ; for hope has quitted [you]2299-my little friend on the very confines of life : [your]2299-my little friend sun at noon darkens in an eclipse , which [you]2299-my little friend feel will not leave it till the time of setting . Bitter and base associations have become the sole food of [your]2299-my little friend memory : [you]2299-my little friend wander here and there , seeking rest in exile : happiness in pleasure - [I]0-i mean in heartless , sensual pleasure - such as dulls intellect and blights feeling . Heart - weary and soul - withered , [you]2299-my little friend come [home]509-home after years of voluntary banishment : [you]2299-my little friend make a new acquaintance - how or where no matter : [you]2299-my little friend find in [this stranger]1639-this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which [you]2299-my little friend have sought for twenty years , and never before encountered ; and they are all fresh , healthy , without soil and without taint . Such society revives , regenerates : [you]2299-my little friend feel better days come back - higher wishes , purer feelings ; [you]2299-my little friend desire to recommence [your]2299-my little friend life , and to spend what remains to [you]2299-my little friend of days in a way more worthy of [an immortal being]2407-an immortal being . To attain this end , are [you]2299-my little friend justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom - a mere conventional impediment which neither [your]2299-my little friend conscience sanctifies nor [your]2299-my little friend judgment approves ? " [He]0-i paused for an answer : and what was [I]4667-man to say ? Oh , for [some good spirit]5941-some good spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response ! Vain aspiration ! The west wind whispered in the ivy round [me]4667-man ; but [no gentle Ariel]5942-no gentle ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of speech : the birds sang in the tree - tops ; but [their]5942-no gentle ariel song , however sweet , was inarticulate . Again [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester propounded [his]251-mr. rochester query : "[4667-man] Is the wandering and sinful , but now rest - seeking and repentant , [man]4667-man justified in daring [the world]484-the world 's opinion , in order to attach to [him]4667-man for ever [this gentle , gracious , genial stranger]2410-this gentle , gracious , genial stranger , thereby securing [his]4667-man own peace of mind and regeneration of life ? " "[4374-sir] [Sir]4374-sir , " [I]4374-sir answered , "[4374-sir] [a wanderer]2412-a wanderer 's repose or [a sinner]2413-a sinner 's reformation should never depend on [a fellow]2414-a fellow - creature . [Men]482-men and [women]671-women die ; [philosophers]2417-philosophers falter in wisdom , and [Christians]351-christians in goodness : if [any one]591-any one [you]4374-sir know has suffered and erred , let [him]591-any one look higher than [[his]591-any one equals]2419-his equals for strength to amend and solace to heal . " "[591-any one] But the instrument - the instrument ! [God]180-mrs. fairfax , who does the work , ordains the instrument . [I]0-i have [myself]0-i - [I]0-i tell it [you]4374-sir without parable - been [a worldly , dissipated , restless man]2420-a worldly , dissipated , restless man ; and [I]0-i believe [I]0-i have found the instrument for [my]0-i cure in - " [He]0-i paused : the birds went on carolling , the leaves lightly rustling . [I]2421-little friend almost wondered [they]5943-they did not check [their]5943-they songs and whispers to catch the suspended revelation ; but [they]5943-they would have had to wait many minutes - so long was the silence protracted . At last [I]2421-little friend looked up at [the tardy speaker]5944-the tardy speaker : [he]0-i was looking eagerly at [me]2421-little friend . "[2421-little friend] [Little friend]2421-little friend , " said [he]0-i , in quite a changed tone - while [his]0-i face changed too , losing all its softness and gravity , and becoming harsh and sarcastic - "[2421-little friend] [you]2421-little friend have noticed [my]0-i tender penchant for [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram : do n't [you]2421-little friend think if [I]0-i married [her]297-miss ingram [she]297-miss ingram would regenerate [me]0-i with a vengeance ? " [He]0-i got up instantly , went quite to the other end of the walk , and when [he]0-i came back [he]0-i was humming a tune . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [Jane]146-jane , " said [he]0-i , stopping before [me]146-jane , "[146-jane] [you]146-jane are quite pale with [your]146-jane vigils : do n't [you]146-jane curse [me]0-i for disturbing [your]146-jane rest ? " "[146-jane] Curse [you]0-i ? No , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] Shake hands in confirmation of the word . What cold fingers ! [They]2423-they were warmer last night when [I]0-i touched them at the door of [the mysterious chamber]2424-the mysterious chamber . [Jane]146-jane , when will [you]146-jane watch with [me]0-i again ? " "[146-jane] Whenever [I]0-i can be useful , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] For instance , the night before [I]0-i am married ! [I]0-i am sure [I]0-i shall not be able to sleep . Will [you]4374-sir promise to sit up with [me]0-i to bear [me]0-i company ? To [you]4374-sir [I]0-i can talk of [[my]0-i lovely one]2426-my lovely one : for now [you]4374-sir have seen [her]2426-my lovely one and know [her]2426-my lovely one . " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] [She]2426-my lovely one 's [a rare one]2428-a rare one , is [she]2426-my lovely one not , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] [A strapper]2430-a strapper - [a real strapper]2431-a real strapper , [Jane]146-jane : big , brown , and buxom ; with hair just such as [the ladies of Carthage]2432-the ladies of carthage must have had . Bless [me]0-i ! there 's [Dent]293-colonel dent and [Lynn]308-richard in [the stables]5694-the stables ! Go in by the shrubbery , through that wicket . " As [I]337-mason went one way , [he]337-mason went another , and [I]337-mason heard [him]337-mason in [the yard]2370-the yard , saying cheerfully - "[337-mason] [Mason]337-mason got the start of [you]146-jane all this morning ; [he]337-mason was gone before sunrise : [I]0-i rose at four to see [him]337-mason off . " CHAPTER XXI Presentiments are strange things ! and so are sympathies ; and so are signs ; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not yet found the key . [I]0-i never laughed at presentiments in [my]0-i life , because [I]0-i have had strange ones of [my]0-i own . Sympathies , [I]0-i believe , exist for instance , between [far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives]5946-far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives asserting , notwithstanding [their]5946-far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives alienation , the unity of the source to which each traces [his]337-mason origin whose workings baffle mortal comprehension . And signs , for aught [we]5947-we know , may be but the sympathies of Nature with [man]4667-man . When [I]0-i was [a little girl , only six years old]5949-a little girl , only six years old , [I]0-i one night heard [Bessie]195-bessie Leaven say to [Martha Abbot]352-martha abbot that [she]195-bessie had been dreaming about [a little child]5950-a little child ; and that to dream of [children]524-children was a sure sign of trouble , either to [one]4415-one 's self or [one 's kin]5953-one 's kin . The saying might have worn out of [my]0-i memory , had not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix it there . The next day [Bessie]195-bessie was sent for [home]509-home to the deathbed of [[her]195-bessie little sister]5955-her little sister . Of late [I]0-i had often recalled this saying and this incident ; for during the past week scarcely a night had gone over [my]0-i couch that had not brought with it a dream of [an infant]5956-an infant , which [I]0-i sometimes hushed in [my]0-i arms , sometimes dandled on [my]0-i knee , sometimes watched playing with daisies on [a lawn]5957-a lawn , or again , dabbling its hands in running water . It was [a wailing child]5958-a wailing child this night , and [a laughing one]5959-a laughing one the next : now it nestled close to [me]0-i , and now it ran from [me]0-i ; but whatever mood [the apparition]5960-the apparition evinced , whatever aspect [it]5960-the apparition wore , it failed not for seven successive nights to meet [me]0-i the moment [I]0-i entered [the land of slumber]5961-the land of slumber . [I]0-i did not like this iteration of one idea - this strange recurrence of one image , and [I]0-i grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the vision drew near . It was from companionship with [this baby]5962-this baby - phantom [I]0-i had been roused on that moonlight night when [I]0-i heard the cry ; and it was on the afternoon of the day following [I]0-i was summoned [downstairs]1218-downstairs by a message that [some one]637-some one wanted [me]0-i in [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's room]1553-mrs. fairfax 's room . On [repairing thither]5966-repairing thither , [I]0-i found [a man]4429-a man waiting for [me]0-i , having the appearance of [[a gentleman]638-a gentleman 's servant]5969-a gentleman 's servant : [he]0-i was dressed in deep mourning , and the hat [he]0-i held in [his]0-i hand was surrounded with a crape band . "[0-i] [I]0-i daresay [you]2434-you hardly remember [me]0-i , [Miss]2435-miss , " [he]0-i said , rising as [I]2434-you entered ; "[2434-you] but [my]0-i name is Leaven : [I]0-i lived coachman with [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed when [you]2434-you were at [Gateshead]20-gateshead , eight or nine years since , and [I]0-i live [there]4426-there still . " "[0-i] Oh , [Robert]240-robert ! how do [you]240-robert do ? [I]0-i remember [you]240-robert very well : [you]240-robert used to give [me]0-i a ride sometimes on [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana 's bay pony . And how is [Bessie]195-bessie ? [You]240-robert are married to [Bessie]195-bessie ? " "[4359-miss] Yes , [Miss]4359-miss : [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife is very hearty , thank [you]2434-you ; [she]2180-my wife brought [me]0-i [another little one]2439-another little one about two months since - [we]2440-we have three now - and both [mother]4387-mother and [child]4354-child are thriving . " "[4387-mother] And are [the family]5088-the family well at [the house]4322-the house , [Robert]240-robert ? " "[240-robert] [I]0-i am sorry [I]0-i ca n't give [you]2434-you better news of [them]5088-the family , [Miss]2445-miss : [they]5088-the family are very badly at present - in great trouble . " "[0-i] [I]0-i hope [no one]593-no one is dead , " [I]0-i said , glancing at [his]240-robert black dress . [He]240-robert too looked down at the crape round [his]240-robert hat and replied - "[0-i] [Mr. John]177-st. john died yesterday was a week , at [[his]177-st. john chambers in [London]31-london]2447-his chambers in london . " "[177-st. john] [Mr. John]177-st. john ? " "[177-st. john] Yes . " "[177-st. john] And how does [[his]177-st. john mother]544-his mother bear it ? " "[544-his mother] Why , [you]2434-you see , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , it is not a common mishap : [his]177-st. john life has been very wild : these last three years [he]177-st. john gave [himself]177-st. john up to strange ways , and [his]177-st. john death was shocking . " "[0-i] [I]0-i heard from [Bessie]195-bessie [he]177-st. john was not doing well . " "[195-bessie] Doing well ! [He]177-st. john could not do worse : [he]177-st. john ruined [his]177-st. john health and [his]177-st. john estate amongst [the worst men]2449-the worst men and [the worst women]2450-the worst women . [He]177-st. john got into debt and into [jail]2451-jail : [[his]177-st. john mother]544-his mother helped [him]177-st. john out twice , but as soon as [he]177-st. john was free [he]177-st. john returned to [his]177-st. john old companions and habits . [His]177-st. john head was not strong : the knaves [he]177-st. john lived amongst fooled [him]177-st. john beyond anything [I]0-i ever heard . [He]177-st. john came down to [Gateshead]20-gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted [missis]2453-missis to give up all to [him]177-st. john . [Missis]178-missis refused : [her]178-missis means have long been much reduced by [his]177-st. john extravagance ; so [he]177-st. john went back again , and the next news was that [he]177-st. john was dead . How [he]177-st. john died , God knows ! - [they]2454-they say [he]177-st. john killed [himself]177-st. john . " [I]178-missis was silent : the things were frightful . [Robert Leaven]240-robert resumed - "[178-missis] [Missis]178-missis had been out of health [herself]178-missis for some time : [she]178-missis had got very stout , but was not strong with it ; and the loss of money and fear of poverty were quite breaking [her]178-missis down . The information about [Mr. John]177-st. john 's death and the manner of it came too suddenly : it brought on a stroke . [She]178-missis was three days without speaking ; but last Tuesday [she]178-missis seemed rather better : [she]178-missis appeared as if [she]178-missis wanted to say something , and kept making signs to [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife and mumbling . It was only yesterday morning , however , that [Bessie]195-bessie understood [she]195-bessie was pronouncing [your]2456-you name ; and at last [she]195-bessie made out the words , ' Bring [Jane]146-jane - fetch [Jane Eyre]146-jane : [I]0-i want to speak to [her]178-missis . ' [Bessie]195-bessie is not sure whether [she]195-bessie is in [her]195-bessie right mind , or means anything by the words ; but [she]195-bessie told [Miss Reed]243-jane and [Miss Georgiana]192-miss georgiana , and advised [them]2457-them to send for [you]2456-you . [The young ladies]4509-the young ladies put it off at first ; but [[their]4509-the young ladies mother]2459-their mother grew so restless , and said , ' [Jane]243-jane , [Jane]243-jane , ' so many times , that at last [they]4509-the young ladies consented . [I]0-i left [Gateshead]20-gateshead yesterday : and if [you]2456-you can get ready , [Miss]4359-miss , [I]0-i should like to take [you]2456-you back with [me]0-i early to - morrow morning . " "[240-robert] Yes , [Robert]240-robert , [I]0-i shall be ready : it seems to [me]0-i that [I]0-i ought to go . " "[0-i] [I]0-i think so too , [Miss. Bessie]195-bessie said [she]195-bessie was sure [you]240-robert would not refuse : but [I]0-i suppose [you]240-robert will have to ask leave before [you]240-robert can get off ? " "[195-bessie] Yes ; and [I]0-i will do it now ; " and having directed [him]240-robert to [[the servants]546-the servants ' hall]2001-the servants ' hall , and recommended [him]240-robert to the care of [[John]177-st. john 's wife]5435-john 's wife , and the attentions of [John]177-st. john [himself]177-st. john , [I]0-i went in search of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [He]251-mr. rochester was not in [any of [the lower rooms]5974-the lower rooms]5973-any of the lower rooms ; [he]251-mr. rochester was not in [the yard]2370-the yard , [the stables]5694-the stables , or [the grounds]772-the grounds . [I]0-i asked [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax if [she]180-mrs. fairfax had seen [him]251-mr. rochester ; - yes : [she]180-mrs. fairfax believed [he]251-mr. rochester was playing billiards with [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . To [the billiard - room]5697-the billiard - room [I]0-i hastened : the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded thence ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , [the two Misses Eshton]2164-the two misses eshton , and [[their]2164-the two misses eshton admirers]5980-their admirers , were all busied in the game . It required some courage to disturb so interesting a party ; [my]0-i errand , however , was one [I]0-i could not defer , so [I]0-i approached [the master]540-the master where [he]540-the master stood at [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's side . [She]297-miss ingram turned as [I]0-i drew near , and looked at [me]0-i haughtily : [her]297-miss ingram eyes seemed to demand , "[0-i] What can [the creeping creature]2461-the creeping creature want now ? " and when [I]251-mr. rochester said , in a low voice , "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , " [she]297-miss ingram made a movement as if tempted to order [me]251-mr. rochester away . [I]251-mr. rochester remember [her]297-miss ingram appearance at the moment - it was very graceful and very striking : [she]297-miss ingram wore a morning robe of sky - blue crape ; a gauzy azure scarf was twisted in [her]297-miss ingram hair . [She]297-miss ingram had been all animation with the game , and irritated pride did not lower the expression of [her]297-miss ingram haughty lineaments . "[251-mr. rochester] Does [that person]2462-that person want [you]251-mr. rochester ? " [she]297-miss ingram inquired of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester turned to see who [the "[2462-that person] person "]5982-the " person " was . [He]251-mr. rochester made a curious grimace - one of [his]251-mr. rochester strange and equivocal demonstrations - threw down [his]251-mr. rochester cue and followed [me]251-mr. rochester from [the room]535-the room . "[251-mr. rochester] Well , [Jane]243-jane ? " [he]251-mr. rochester said , as [he]251-mr. rochester rested [his]251-mr. rochester back against the schoolroom door , which [he]251-mr. rochester had shut . "[243-jane] If [you]243-jane please , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i want leave of absence for a week or two . " "[0-i] What to do ? - where to go ? " "[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me] To see [a sick lady who has sent for [me]0-i]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me . " "[2465-what sick lady] [What sick lady]2465-what sick lady ? - where does [she]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me live ? " "[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me] At [Gateshead]20-gateshead ; in -shire . " "[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me] -shire ? That is a hundred miles off ! Who may [she]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me be that sends for [people]4493-people to see [her]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me that distance ? " "[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me] [Her]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me name is [Reed]243-jane , [sir]4374-sir - [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed . " "[156-mrs. reed] [Reed of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]2468-reed of gateshead ? There was [a Reed of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]2469-a reed of gateshead , [a magistrate]2470-a magistrate . " "[2470-a magistrate] [It]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me is [[his]2469-a reed of gateshead widow]2471-his widow , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] And what have [you]4374-sir to do with [her]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me ? How do [you]4374-sir know [her]2464-a sick lady who has sent for me ? " "[4374-sir] [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed was [[my]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle - [[[my]0-i mother]612-my mother 's brother]613-my mother 's brother . " "[169-mr. reed] [The deuce]354-the deuce [he]169-mr. reed was ! [You]4374-sir never told [me]0-i that before : [you]4374-sir always said [you]4374-sir had [no relations]2476-no relations . " "[4374-sir] None that would own [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir . [Mr. Reed]169-mr. reed is dead , and [[his]169-mr. reed wife]4986-his wife cast [me]0-i off . " "[4986-his wife] Why ? " "[4986-his wife] Because [I]0-i was poor , and burdensome , and [she]4986-his wife disliked [me]0-i . " "[4986-his wife] But [Reed]169-mr. reed left [children]524-children ? - [you]4374-sir must have [cousins]4391-cousins ? [Sir George Lynn]292-sir george lynn was talking of [a Reed of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]2469-a reed of gateshead yesterday , who , [he]292-sir george lynn said , was [one of [the veriest rascals on [town]5534-town]2483-the veriest rascals on town]2482-one of the veriest rascals on town ; and [Ingram]297-miss ingram was mentioning [a Georgiana Reed of [the same place]2485-the same place]160-georgiana , who was much admired for [her]160-georgiana beauty a season or two ago in [London]31-london . " "[297-miss ingram] [John Reed]159-john is dead , too , [sir]4374-sir : [he]159-john ruined [himself]159-john and half - ruined [[his]159-john family]1092-his family , and is supposed to have committed suicide . The news so shocked [[his]159-john mother]544-his mother that it brought on an apoplectic attack . " "[544-his mother] And what good can [you]4374-sir do [her]544-his mother ? Nonsense , [Jane]243-jane ! [I]0-i would never think of running a hundred miles to see [an old lady who will , perhaps , be dead before [you]4374-sir reach [her]544-his mother]2489-an old lady who will , perhaps , be dead before you reach her : besides , [you]4374-sir say [she]544-his mother cast [you]4374-sir off . " "[544-his mother] Yes , [sir]4374-sir , but that is long ago ; and when [her]544-his mother circumstances were very different : [I]0-i could not be easy to neglect [her]544-his mother wishes now . " "[0-i] How long will [you]4374-sir stay ? " "[0-i] As short a time as possible , [sir]4374-sir . " "[0-i] Promise [me]0-i only to stay a week - " "[0-i] [I]0-i had better not pass [my]0-i word : [I]0-i might be obliged to break it . " "[0-i] At all events [you]4374-sir WILL come back : [you]4374-sir will not be induced under any pretext to take up [a permanent residence]2492-a permanent residence with [her]544-his mother ? " "[544-his mother] Oh , no ! [I]0-i shall certainly return if all be well . " "[0-i] And who goes with [you]4374-sir ? [You]4374-sir do n't travel a hundred miles alone . " "[544-his mother] No , [sir]4374-sir , [she]544-his mother has sent [[her]544-his mother coachman]2494-her coachman . " "[2494-her coachman] [A person to be trusted]2495-a person to be trusted ? " "[2494-her coachman] Yes , [sir]4374-sir , [he]2494-her coachman has lived ten years in [the family]5088-the family . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester meditated . "[2494-her coachman] When do [you]4374-sir wish to go ? " "[2494-her coachman] Early to - morrow morning , [sir]4374-sir . " "[2494-her coachman] Well , [you]4374-sir must have some money ; [you]4374-sir ca n't travel without money , and [I]0-i daresay [you]4374-sir have not much : [I]0-i have given [you]4374-sir no salary yet . How much have [you]4374-sir in [the world]484-the world , [Jane]243-jane ? " [he]0-i asked , smiling . [I]4374-sir drew out [my]4374-sir purse ; a meagre thing it was . "[4374-sir] Five shillings , [sir]4374-sir . " [He]0-i took the purse , poured the hoard into [his]0-i palm , and chuckled over it as if its scantiness amused [him]0-i . Soon [he]0-i produced [his]0-i pocket- book : "[4374-sir] Here , " said [he]0-i , offering [me]4374-sir a note ; it was fifty pounds , and [he]0-i owed [me]4374-sir but fifteen . [I]4374-sir told [him]0-i [I]4374-sir had no change . "[4374-sir] [I]0-i do n't want change ; [you]4374-sir know that . Take [your]4374-sir wages . " [I]4374-sir declined accepting more than was [my]4374-sir due . [He]0-i scowled at first ; then , as if recollecting something , [he]0-i said - "[4374-sir] Right , right ! Better not give [you]4374-sir all now : [you]4374-sir would , perhaps , stay away three months if [you]4374-sir had fifty pounds . There are ten ; is it not plenty ? " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir , but now [you]4374-sir owe [me]0-i five . " "[0-i] Come back for it , then ; [I]0-i am [[your]4374-sir banker]2502-your banker for forty pounds . " "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i may as well mention another matter of business to [you]4374-sir while [I]0-i have the opportunity . " "[251-mr. rochester] Matter of business ? [I]0-i am curious to hear it . " "[0-i] [You]4374-sir have as good as informed [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , that [you]4374-sir are going shortly to be married ? " "[4374-sir] Yes ; what then ? " "[4374-sir] In that case , [sir]4374-sir , [Adele]259-adele ought to go to [school]537-school : [I]0-i am sure [you]4374-sir will perceive the necessity of it . " "[4374-sir] To get [her]259-adele out of [[my]0-i bride]2506-my bride 's way , who might otherwise walk over [her]259-adele rather too emphatically ? There 's sense in the suggestion ; not a doubt of it . [Adele]259-adele , as [you]4374-sir say , must go to [school]537-school ; and [you]4374-sir , of course , must march straight to - the devil ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i hope not , [sir]4374-sir ; but [I]0-i must seek another situation somewhere . " "[0-i] In course ! " [he]4374-sir exclaimed , with a twang of voice and a distortion of features equally fantastic and ludicrous . [He]4374-sir looked at [me]0-i some minutes . "[0-i] And [old Madam Reed]355-old madam reed , or [the Misses]2509-the misses , [[her]355-old madam reed daughters]2066-her daughters , will be solicited by [you]4374-sir to seek a place , [I]0-i suppose ? " "[0-i] No , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]0-i am not on such terms with [[my]0-i relatives]2512-my relatives as would justify [me]0-i in asking favours of [them]2512-my relatives - but [I]0-i shall advertise . " "[0-i] [You]4374-sir shall walk up [the pyramids of [Egypt]78-egypt]2513-the pyramids of egypt ! " [he]4374-sir growled . "[4374-sir] At [your]4374-sir peril [you]4374-sir advertise ! [I]0-i wish [I]0-i had only offered [you]4374-sir a sovereign instead of ten pounds . Give [me]0-i back nine pounds , [Jane]243-jane ; [I]0-i 've a use for it . " "[0-i] And so have [I]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , " [I]0-i returned , putting [my]0-i hands and [my]0-i purse behind [me]0-i . "[0-i] [I]0-i could not spare the money on any account . " "[2515-little niggard] [Little niggard]2515-little niggard ! " said [he]4374-sir , "[2515-little niggard] refusing [me]0-i a pecuniary request ! Give [me]0-i five pounds , [Jane]243-jane . " "[243-jane] Not five shillings , [sir]4374-sir ; nor five pence . " "[2515-little niggard] Just let [me]0-i look at the cash . " "[2515-little niggard] No , [sir]4374-sir ; [you]4374-sir are not to be trusted . " "[243-jane] [Jane]243-jane ! " "[4374-sir] [Sir]4374-sir ? " "[4374-sir] Promise [me]0-i one thing . " "[4374-sir] [I]0-i 'll promise [you]4374-sir anything , [sir]4374-sir , that [I]0-i think [I]0-i am likely to perform . " "[0-i] Not to advertise : and to trust this quest of a situation to [me]0-i . [I]0-i 'll find [you]4374-sir one in time . " "[0-i] [I]0-i shall be glad so to do , [sir]4374-sir , if [you]4374-sir , in [your]4374-sir turn , will promise that [I]0-i and [Adele]259-adele shall be both safe out of [the house]4322-the house before [[your]4374-sir bride]2522-your bride enters it . " "[4374-sir] Very well ! very well ! [I]0-i 'll pledge [my]0-i word on it . [You]4374-sir go to - morrow , then ? " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir ; early . " "[4374-sir] Shall [you]4374-sir come down to [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room after dinner ? " "[4374-sir] No , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i must prepare for the journey . " "[4374-sir] Then [you]4374-sir and [I]0-i must bid good - bye for a little while ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i suppose so , [sir]4374-sir . " "[0-i] And how do [people]4493-people perform that ceremony of parting , [Jane]243-jane ? Teach [me]0-i ; [I]0-i 'm not quite up to it . " "[4493-people] [They]4493-people say , Farewell , or any other form [they]4493-people prefer . " "[4493-people] Then say it . " "[4493-people] Farewell , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , for the present . " "[251-mr. rochester] What must [I]0-i say ? " "[0-i] The same , if [you]4374-sir like , [sir]4374-sir . " "[0-i] Farewell , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , for the present ; is that all ? " "[146-jane] Yes ? " "[146-jane] It seems stingy , to [my]0-i notions , and dry , and unfriendly . [I]0-i should like something else : a little addition to the rite . If [one]4415-one shook hands , for instance ; but no - that would not content [me]0-i either . So [you]4374-sir 'll do no more than say Farewell , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[4374-sir] It is enough , [sir]4374-sir : as much good - will may be conveyed in one hearty word as in many . " "[4374-sir] Very likely ; but it is blank and cool - ' Farewell . ' " "[251-mr. rochester] How long is [he]251-mr. rochester going to stand with [his]251-mr. rochester back against that door ? " [I]0-i asked [myself]0-i ; "[0-i] [I]0-i want to commence [my]0-i packing . " The dinner - bell rang , and suddenly away [he]251-mr. rochester bolted , without another syllable : [I]0-i saw [him]251-mr. rochester no more during the day , and was off before [he]251-mr. rochester had risen in the morning . [I]0-i reached [the lodge at [Gateshead]20-gateshead]5984-the lodge at gateshead about five o'clock in the afternoon of the first of May : [I]0-i stepped in [there]4426-there before going up to [the hall]608-the hall . [It]608-the hall was very clean and neat : the ornamental windows were hung with little white curtains ; the floor was spotless ; the grate and fire - irons were burnished bright , and the fire burnt clear . [Bessie]195-bessie sat on the hearth , nursing [her]195-bessie last - born , and [Robert]240-robert and [[his]240-robert sister]5987-his sister played quietly in a corner . "[0-i] Bless [you]0-i ! - [I]0-i knew [you]0-i would come ! " exclaimed [Mrs. Leaven]242-mrs. leaven , as [I]0-i entered . "[0-i] Yes , [Bessie]195-bessie , " said [I]195-bessie , after [I]195-bessie had kissed [her]195-bessie ; "[195-bessie] and [I]0-i trust [I]0-i am not too late . How is [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? - Alive still , [I]0-i hope . " "[156-mrs. reed] Yes , [she]156-mrs. reed is alive ; and more sensible and collected than [she]156-mrs. reed was . [The doctor]2531-the doctor says [she]156-mrs. reed may linger a week or two yet ; but [he]2531-the doctor hardly thinks [she]156-mrs. reed will finally recover . " "[2531-the doctor] Has [she]156-mrs. reed mentioned [me]0-i lately ? " "[156-mrs. reed] [She]156-mrs. reed was talking of [you]0-i only this morning , and wishing [you]0-i would come , but [she]156-mrs. reed is sleeping now , or was ten minutes ago , when [I]0-i was up at [the house]4322-the house . [She]156-mrs. reed generally lies in a kind of lethargy all the afternoon , and wakes up about six or seven . Will [you]0-i rest [yourself]0-i here an hour , [Miss]2533-miss , and then [I]0-i will go up with [you]0-i ? " [Robert]240-robert here entered , and [Bessie]195-bessie laid [[her]195-bessie sleeping child]5988-her sleeping child in the cradle and went to welcome [him]5988-her sleeping child : afterwards [she]195-bessie insisted on [my]0-i taking off [my]0-i bonnet and having some tea ; for [she]195-bessie said [I]0-i looked pale and tired . [I]0-i was glad to accept [her]195-bessie hospitality ; and [I]0-i submitted to be relieved of [my]0-i travelling garb just as passively as [I]0-i used to let [her]195-bessie undress [me]0-i when [a child]4305-a child . Old times crowded fast back on [me]0-i as [I]0-i watched [her]195-bessie bustling about - setting out the tea - tray with [her]195-bessie best china , cutting bread and butter , toasting a tea - cake , and , between whiles , giving [little Robert]240-robert or [Jane]146-jane an occasional tap or push , just as [she]195-bessie used to give [me]0-i in former days . [Bessie]195-bessie had retained [her]195-bessie quick temper as well as [her]195-bessie light foot and good looks . Tea ready , [I]0-i was going to approach the table ; but [she]195-bessie desired [me]0-i to sit still , quite in [her]195-bessie old peremptory tones . [I]0-i must be served at the fireside , [she]195-bessie said ; and [she]195-bessie placed before [me]0-i a little round stand with [my]0-i cup and a plate of toast , absolutely as [she]195-bessie used to accommodate [me]0-i with some privately purloined dainty on a nursery chair : and [I]0-i smiled and obeyed [her]195-bessie as in bygone days . [She]195-bessie wanted to know if [I]0-i was happy at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , and what sort of [a person]812-a person [the mistress]5991-the mistress was ; and when [I]0-i told [her]195-bessie there was only [a master]4710-a master , whether [he]4710-a master was [a nice gentleman]5993-a nice gentleman , and if [I]0-i liked [him]4710-a master . [I]0-i told [her]195-bessie [he]4710-a master was rather [an ugly man]1755-an ugly man , but quite [a gentleman]638-a gentleman ; and that [he]4710-a master treated [me]0-i kindly , and [I]0-i was content . Then [I]0-i went on to describe to [her]195-bessie the gay company that had lately been staying at [the house]4322-the house ; and to these details [Bessie]195-bessie listened with interest : they were precisely of the kind [she]195-bessie relished . In such conversation an hour was soon gone : [Bessie]195-bessie restored to [me]0-i [my]0-i bonnet , c. , and , accompanied by [her]195-bessie , [I]0-i quitted [the lodge]4914-the lodge for [the hall]608-the hall . It was also accompanied by [her]195-bessie that [I]0-i had , nearly nine years ago , walked down the path [I]0-i was now ascending . On a dark , misty , raw morning in January , [I]0-i had left [a hostile roof]5999-a hostile roof with a desperate and embittered heart - a sense of outlawry and almost of reprobation - to seek the chilly harbourage of [Lowood]25-lowood : that bourne so far away and unexplored . [The same hostile roof]6000-the same hostile roof now again rose before [me]0-i : [my]0-i prospects were doubtful yet ; and [I]0-i had yet an aching heart . [I]0-i still felt as [a wanderer on the face of [the earth]663-the earth]6001-a wanderer on the face of the earth ; but [I]0-i experienced firmer trust in [myself]0-i and [my]0-i own powers , and less withering dread of oppression . The gaping wound of [my]0-i wrongs , too , was now quite healed ; and the flame of resentment extinguished . "[0-i] [You]2534-you shall go into [the breakfast - room]534-the breakfast - room first , " said [Bessie]195-bessie , as [she]195-bessie preceded [me]0-i through [the hall]608-the hall ; "[0-i] [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies will be [there]4426-there . " In another moment [I]146-jane was within [that apartment]1706-that apartment . There was every article of furniture looking just as it did on the morning [I]146-jane was first introduced to [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst : the very rug [he]196-mr. brocklehurst had stood upon still covered the hearth . Glancing at the bookcases , [I]146-jane thought [I]146-jane could distinguish the two volumes of Bewick 's British Birds occupying [their]4509-the young ladies old place on the third shelf , and [Gulliver]186-gulliver 's Travels and the Arabian Nights ranged just above . The inanimate objects were not changed ; but the living things had altered past recognition . [Two young ladies]6005-two young ladies appeared before [me]146-jane ; one very tall , almost as tall as [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram - [very thin too , with a sallow face and severe mien]6006-very thin too , with a sallow face and severe mien . There was something ascetic in [her]297-miss ingram look , which was augmented by the extreme plainness of a straight - skirted , black , stuff dress , a starched linen collar , hair combed away from the temples , and the nun - like ornament of a string of ebony beads and a crucifix . This [I]146-jane felt sure was [Eliza]158-eliza , though [I]146-jane could trace little resemblance to [her]158-eliza former self in that elongated and colourless visage . [The other]5683-the other was as certainly [Georgiana]160-georgiana : but not the Georgiana [I]146-jane remembered - [the slim and fairy - like girl of eleven]6008-the slim and fairy - like girl of eleven . This was [a full - blown , very plump damsel , fair as waxwork , with handsome and regular features , languishing blue eyes , and ringleted yellow hair]6009-a full - blown , very plump damsel , fair as waxwork , with handsome and regular features , languishing blue eyes , and ringleted yellow hair . The hue of [her]297-miss ingram dress was black too ; but its fashion was so different from [[her]297-miss ingram sister]4922-her sister 's - so much more flowing and becoming - it looked as stylish as the other 's looked puritanical . In [each of [the sisters]2088-the sisters]6011-each of the sisters there was one trait of [the mother]542-the mother - and only one ; [the thin and pallid elder daughter]6014-the thin and pallid elder daughter had [[her]6014-the thin and pallid elder daughter parent]6015-her parent 's Cairngorm eye : [the blooming and luxuriant younger girl]6016-the blooming and luxuriant younger girl had [her]6016-the blooming and luxuriant younger girl contour of jaw and chin - perhaps a little softened , but still imparting an indescribable hardness to the countenance otherwise so voluptuous and buxom . [Both ladies]2215-both ladies , as [I]146-jane advanced , rose to welcome [me]146-jane , and [both]710-both addressed [me]146-jane by the name of "[146-jane] [Miss Eyre]146-jane . " [Eliza]158-eliza 's greeting was delivered in a short , abrupt voice , without a smile ; and then [she]158-eliza sat down again , fixed [her]158-eliza eyes on the fire , and seemed to forget [me]146-jane . [Georgiana]160-georgiana added to [her]160-georgiana "[146-jane] How d'ye do ? " several commonplaces about [my]146-jane journey , the weather , and so on , uttered in rather a drawling tone : and accompanied by sundry side - glances that measured [me]146-jane from head to foot - now traversing the folds of [my]146-jane drab merino pelisse , and now lingering on the plain trimming of [my]146-jane cottage bonnet . [Young ladies]699-young ladies have a remarkable way of letting [you]6020-you know that [they]699-young ladies think [you]6020-you a "[146-jane] quiz " without actually saying the words . A certain superciliousness of look , coolness of manner , nonchalance of tone , express fully [their]699-young ladies sentiments on the point , without committing [them]699-young ladies by any positive rudeness in word or deed . A sneer , however , whether covert or open , had now no longer that power over [me]156-mrs. reed it once possessed : as [I]156-mrs. reed sat between [[my]156-mrs. reed cousins]729-my cousins , [I]156-mrs. reed was surprised to find how easy [I]156-mrs. reed felt under the total neglect of [the one]5908-the one and the semi - sarcastic attentions of the other - [Eliza]158-eliza did not mortify , nor [Georgiana]160-georgiana ruffle [me]156-mrs. reed . The fact was , [I]156-mrs. reed had other things to think about ; within the last few months feelings had been stirred in [me]156-mrs. reed so much more potent than any [they]699-young ladies could raise - pains and pleasures so much more acute and exquisite had been excited than any it was in [their]699-young ladies power to inflict or bestow - that [their]699-young ladies airs gave [me]156-mrs. reed no concern either for good or bad . "[156-mrs. reed] How is [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? " [I]156-mrs. reed asked soon , looking calmly at [Georgiana]160-georgiana , who thought fit to bridle at the direct address , as if it were an unexpected liberty . "[156-mrs. reed] [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ? Ah ! [mama]4313-mama , [you]4313-mama mean ; [she]156-mrs. reed is extremely poorly : [I]0-i doubt if [you]4313-mama can see [her]156-mrs. reed to - night . " "[4313-mama] If , " said [I]4313-mama , "[4313-mama] [you]4313-mama would just step [upstairs]552-upstairs and tell [her]156-mrs. reed [I]0-i am come , [I]0-i should be much obliged to [you]4313-mama . " [Georgiana]160-georgiana almost started , and [she]160-georgiana opened [her]160-georgiana blue eyes wild and wide . "[0-i] [I]0-i know [she]156-mrs. reed had a particular wish to see [me]0-i , " [I]156-mrs. reed added , "[156-mrs. reed] and [I]0-i would not defer attending to [her]156-mrs. reed desire longer than is absolutely necessary . " "[260-mama] [Mama]260-mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening , " remarked [Eliza]158-eliza . [I]260-mama soon rose , quietly took off [my]260-mama bonnet and gloves , uninvited , and said [I]260-mama would just step out to [Bessie]195-bessie - who was , [I]260-mama dared say , in [the kitchen]658-the kitchen - and ask [her]195-bessie to ascertain whether [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed was disposed to receive [me]260-mama or not to - night . [I]260-mama went , and having found [Bessie]195-bessie and despatched [her]195-bessie on [my]260-mama errand , [I]260-mama proceeded to take further measures . It had heretofore been [my]260-mama habit always to shrink from arrogance : received as [I]260-mama had been to - day , [I]260-mama should , a year ago , have resolved to quit [Gateshead]20-gateshead the very next morning ; now , it was disclosed to [me]260-mama all at once that that would be a foolish plan . [I]260-mama had taken a journey of a hundred miles to see [[my]260-mama aunt]4392-my aunt , and [I]260-mama must stay with [her]4392-my aunt till [she]4392-my aunt was better - or dead : as to [[her]4392-my aunt daughters]2066-her daughters ' pride or folly , [I]260-mama must put it on one side , make [myself]260-mama independent of it . So [I]260-mama addressed [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper ; asked [her]762-the housekeeper to show [me]260-mama [a room]4381-a room , told [her]762-the housekeeper [I]260-mama should probably be [a visitor]4974-a visitor [here]4312-here for a week or two , had [my]260-mama trunk conveyed to [[my]260-mama chamber]1419-my chamber , and followed [it]1419-my chamber thither [myself]260-mama : [I]260-mama met [Bessie]195-bessie on [the landing]6031-the landing . "[260-mama] [Missis]178-missis is awake , " said [she]762-the housekeeper ; "[178-missis] [I]0-i have told [her]178-missis [you]2540-you are [here]4312-here : come and let [us]2542-us see if [she]178-missis will know [you]2540-you . " [I]178-missis did not need to be guided to [the well - known room]6032-the well - known room , to which [I]178-missis had so often been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days . [I]178-missis hastened before [Bessie]195-bessie ; [I]178-missis softly opened the door : a shaded light stood on the table , for it was now getting dark . There was the great four - post bed with amber hangings as of old ; there the toilet - table , the armchair , and the footstool , at which [I]178-missis had a hundred times been sentenced to kneel , to ask pardon for offences by [me]178-missis uncommitted . [I]178-missis looked into a certain corner near , half - expecting to see the slim outline of a once dreaded switch which used to lurk there , waiting to leap out imp - like and lace [my]178-missis quivering palm or shrinking neck . [I]178-missis approached the bed ; [I]178-missis opened the curtains and leant over the high - piled pillows . Well did [I]178-missis remember [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed 's face , and [I]178-missis eagerly sought the familiar image . It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance and hushes the promptings of rage and aversion . [I]178-missis had left [this woman]6033-this woman in bitterness and hate , and [I]178-missis came back to [her]6033-this woman now with no other emotion than a sort of ruth for [her]6033-this woman great sufferings , and a strong yearning to forget and forgive all injuries - to be reconciled and clasp hands in amity . The well - known face was there : stern , relentless as ever - there was that peculiar eye which nothing could melt , and the somewhat raised , imperious , despotic eyebrow . How often had it lowered on [me]178-missis menace and hate ! and how the recollection of childhood 's terrors and sorrows revived as [I]178-missis traced its harsh line now ! And yet [I]178-missis stooped down and kissed [her]6033-this woman : [she]6033-this woman looked at [me]178-missis . "[178-missis] Is this [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? " [she]6033-this woman said . "[146-jane] Yes , [Aunt Reed]190-aunt reed . How are [you]190-aunt reed , [dear aunt]2543-dear aunt ? " [I]2544-i had once vowed that [I]2544-i would never call [[her]6033-this woman aunt]6034-her aunt again : [I]2544-i thought it no sin to forget and break that vow now . [My]2544-i fingers had fastened on [her]6033-this woman hand which lay outside the sheet : had [she]6033-this woman pressed [mine]2544-i kindly , [I]2544-i should at that moment have experienced true pleasure . But unimpressionable natures are not so soon softened , nor are natural antipathies so readily eradicated . [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed took [her]6033-this woman hand away , and , turning [her]6033-this woman face rather from [me]2544-i , [she]6033-this woman remarked that the night was warm . Again [she]6033-this woman regarded [me]2544-i so icily , [I]2544-i felt at once that [her]6033-this woman opinion of [me]2544-i - [her]6033-this woman feeling towards [me]2544-i - was unchanged and unchangeable . [I]2544-i knew by [her]6033-this woman stony eye - opaque to tenderness , indissoluble to tears - that [she]6033-this woman was resolved to consider [me]2544-i bad to the last ; because to believe [me]2544-i good would give [her]6033-this woman no generous pleasure : only a sense of mortification . [I]2544-i felt pain , and then [I]2544-i felt ire ; and then [I]2544-i felt a determination to subdue [her]6033-this woman - to be [[her]6033-this woman mistress]6035-her mistress in spite both of [her]6033-this woman nature and [her]6033-this woman will . [My]2544-i tears had risen , just as in childhood : [I]2544-i ordered them back to [their]2544-i source . [I]2544-i brought a chair to the bed - head : [I]2544-i sat down and leaned over the pillow . "[2544-i] [You]2544-i sent for [me]0-i , " [I]2544-i said , "[2544-i] and [I]0-i am here ; and it is [my]0-i intention to stay till [I]0-i see how [you]2544-i get on . " "[0-i] Oh , of course ! [You]2544-i have seen [[my]0-i daughters]2545-my daughters ? " "[2544-i] Yes . " "[2544-i] Well , [you]2544-i may tell [them]2545-my daughters [I]0-i wish [you]2544-i to stay till [I]0-i can talk some things over with [you]2544-i [I]0-i have on [my]0-i mind : to - night it is too late , and [I]0-i have a difficulty in recalling [them]2545-my daughters . But there was something [I]0-i wished to say - let [me]0-i see - " The wandering look and changed utterance told what wreck had taken place in [her]146-jane once vigorous frame . Turning restlessly , [she]146-jane drew the bedclothes round [her]146-jane ; [my]0-i elbow , resting on a corner of the quilt , fixed it down : [she]146-jane was at once irritated . "[0-i] Sit up ! " said [she]146-jane ; "[0-i] do n't annoy [me]0-i with holding the clothes fast . Are [you]2546-you [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? " "[2546-you] [I]0-i am [Jane Eyre]146-jane . " "[146-jane] [I]0-i have had more trouble with [that child]2547-that child than [any one]591-any one would believe . Such a burden to be left on [my]0-i hands - and so much annoyance as [she]2547-that child caused [me]0-i , daily and hourly , with [her]2547-that child incomprehensible disposition , and [her]2547-that child sudden starts of temper , and [her]2547-that child continual , unnatural watchings of [one]4415-one 's movements ! [I]0-i declare [she]2547-that child talked to [me]0-i once like something mad , or like [a fiend]2550-a fiend - [no child]2551-no child ever spoke or looked as [she]2547-that child did ; [I]0-i was glad to get [her]2547-that child away from [the house]4322-the house . What did [they]2553-they do with [her]2547-that child at [Lowood]25-lowood ? The fever broke out there , and [many of [the pupils]4566-the pupils]2554-many of the pupils died . [She]2547-that child , however , did not die : but [I]0-i said [she]2547-that child did - [I]0-i wish [she]2547-that child had died ! " "[0-i] A strange wish , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed ; why do [you]156-mrs. reed hate [her]2547-that child so ? " "[156-mrs. reed] [I]0-i had a dislike to [[her]2547-that child mother]767-her mother always ; for [she]2547-that child was [[my]0-i husband 's only sister]2557-my husband 's only sister , and a great favourite with [him]2558-he : [he]2558-he opposed [the family]5088-the family 's disowning [her]2547-that child when [she]2547-that child made [her]2547-that child low marriage ; and when news came of [her]2547-that child death , [he]2558-he wept like [a simpleton]2560-a simpleton . [He]2558-he would send for [the baby]2561-the baby ; though [I]0-i entreated [him]2558-he rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its maintenance . [I]0-i hated it the first time [I]0-i set [my]0-i eyes on it - [a sickly , whining , pining thing]2562-a sickly , whining , pining thing ! [It]2561-the baby would wail in its cradle all night long - not screaming heartily like [any other child]2563-any other child , but whimpering and moaning . [Reed]156-mrs. reed pitied it ; and [he]2558-he used to nurse [it]2561-the baby and notice [it]2561-the baby as if it had been [his]2558-he own : more , indeed , than [he]2558-he ever noticed [his]2558-he own at that age . [He]2558-he would try to make [[my]0-i children]4805-my children friendly to [the little beggar]2565-the little beggar : [the darlings]2566-the darlings could not bear it , and [he]2558-he was angry with [them]2566-the darlings when [they]2566-the darlings showed [their]2566-the darlings dislike . In [his]2558-he last illness , [he]2558-he had it brought continually to [his]2558-he bedside ; and but an hour before [he]2558-he died , [he]2558-he bound [me]0-i by vow to keep the creature . [I]0-i would as soon have been charged with [a pauper brat out of [a workhouse]2568-a workhouse]2567-a pauper brat out of a workhouse : but [he]2567-a pauper brat out of a workhouse was weak , naturally weak . [John]159-john does not at all resemble [[his]159-john father]5218-his father , and [I]0-i am glad of it : [John]159-john is like [me]0-i and like [[my]0-i brothers]2570-my brothers - [he]159-john is quite [a Gibson]2571-a gibson . Oh , [I]0-i wish [he]159-john would cease tormenting [me]0-i with letters for money ? [I]0-i have no more money to give [him]159-john : [we]2572-we are getting poor . [I]0-i must send away half [the servants]546-the servants and shut up part of [the house]4322-the house ; or let it off . [I]0-i can never submit to do that - yet how are [we]2572-we to get on ? Two - thirds of [my]0-i income goes in paying the interest of mortgages . [John]159-john gambles dreadfully , and always loses - [poor boy]2575-poor boy ! [He]159-john is beset by sharpers : [John]159-john is sunk and degraded - [his]159-john look is frightful - [I]0-i feel ashamed for [him]159-john when [I]0-i see [him]159-john . " [She]2576-she was getting much excited . "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i had better leave [her]2576-she now , " said [I]0-i to [Bessie]195-bessie , who stood on the other side of the bed . "[0-i] Perhaps [you]0-i had , [Miss]2577-miss : but [she]2576-she often talks in this way towards night - in the morning [she]2576-she is calmer . " [I]2576-she rose . "[2576-she] Stop ! " exclaimed [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , "[159-john] there is another thing [I]0-i wished to say . [He]159-john threatens [me]0-i - [he]159-john continually threatens [me]0-i with [his]159-john own death , or [mine]0-i : and [I]0-i dream sometimes that [I]0-i see [him]159-john laid out with a great wound in [his]159-john throat , or with a swollen and blackened face . [I]0-i am come to a strange pass : [I]0-i have heavy troubles . What is to be done ? How is the money to be had ? " [Bessie]195-bessie now endeavoured to persuade [her]195-bessie to take a sedative draught : [she]195-bessie succeeded with difficulty . Soon after , [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed grew more composed , and sank into a dozing state . [I]2578-i then left [her]195-bessie . More than ten days elapsed before [I]2578-i had again any conversation with [her]195-bessie . [She]195-bessie continued either delirious or lethargic ; and [the doctor]2531-the doctor forbade everything which could painfully excite [her]195-bessie . Meantime , [I]2578-i got on as well as [I]2578-i could with [Georgiana]160-georgiana and [Eliza]158-eliza . [They]6037-they were very cold , indeed , at first . [Eliza]158-eliza would sit half the day sewing , reading , or writing , and scarcely utter a word either to [me]2578-i or [[her]158-eliza sister]4922-her sister . [Georgiana]160-georgiana would chatter nonsense to [her]160-georgiana canary bird by the hour , and take no notice of [me]2578-i . But [I]2578-i was determined not to seem at a loss for occupation or amusement : [I]2578-i had brought [my]2578-i drawing materials with [me]2578-i , and [they]6037-they served [me]2578-i for both . Provided with a case of pencils , and some sheets of paper , [I]2578-i used to take a seat apart from them , near the window , and busy [myself]2578-i in sketching fancy vignettes , representing any scene that happened momentarily to shape itself in the ever - shifting kaleidoscope of imagination : a glimpse of [sea between two rocks]6039-sea between two rocks ; the rising moon , and [a ship]6040-a ship crossing its disk ; a group of reeds and water - flags , and a naiad 's head , crowned with lotus - flowers , rising out of them ; an elf sitting in a hedge - sparrow 's nest , under a wreath of hawthorn - bloom . One morning [I]2578-i fell to sketching a face : what sort of a face it was to be , [I]2578-i did not care or know . [I]2578-i took a soft black pencil , gave it a broad point , and worked away . Soon [I]2578-i had traced on the paper a broad and prominent forehead and a square lower outline of visage : that contour gave [me]2578-i pleasure ; [my]2578-i fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features . Strongly - marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced under that brow ; then followed , naturally , a well - defined nose , with a straight ridge and full nostrils ; then a flexible- looking mouth , by no means narrow ; then a firm chin , with a decided cleft down the middle of it : of course , some black whiskers were wanted , and some jetty hair , tufted on the temples , and waved above the forehead . Now for the eyes : [I]2578-i had left them to the last , because they required the most careful working . [I]2578-i drew them large ; [I]2578-i shaped them well : the eyelashes [I]2578-i traced long and sombre ; the irids lustrous and large . "[2578-i] Good ! but not quite the thing , " [I]2578-i thought , as [I]2578-i surveyed the effect : "[2578-i] [they]2578-i want more force and spirit ; " and [I]2578-i wrought the shades blacker , that the lights might flash more brilliantly - a happy touch or two secured success . There , [I]2578-i had [a friend]5395-a friend 's face under [my]2578-i gaze ; and what did it signify that [those young ladies]6042-those young ladies turned [their]6042-those young ladies backs on [me]2578-i ? [I]2578-i looked at it ; [I]2578-i smiled at the speaking likeness : [I]2578-i was absorbed and content . "[2578-i] Is that a portrait of [some one [you]2580-you know]2579-some one you know ? " asked [Eliza]158-eliza , who had approached [me]1755-an ugly man unnoticed . [I]1755-an ugly man responded that it was merely a fancy head , and hurried it beneath the other sheets . Of course , [I]1755-an ugly man lied : it was , in fact , a very faithful representation of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . But what was that to [her]158-eliza , or to any one but [myself]1755-an ugly man ? [Georgiana]160-georgiana also advanced to look . The other drawings pleased [her]160-georgiana much , but [she]160-georgiana called that "[1755-an ugly man] [an ugly man]1755-an ugly man . " [They]6042-those young ladies both seemed surprised at [my]1755-an ugly man skill . [I]1755-an ugly man offered to sketch [their]6042-those young ladies portraits ; and [each]898-each , in turn , sat for a pencil outline . Then [Georgiana]160-georgiana produced [her]160-georgiana album . [I]1755-an ugly man promised to contribute a water - colour drawing : this put [her]158-eliza at once into good humour . [She]158-eliza proposed a walk in [the grounds]772-the grounds . Before [we]6045-we had been out two hours , [we]6045-we were deep in a confidential conversation : [she]158-eliza had favoured [me]1755-an ugly man with a description of the brilliant winter [she]158-eliza had spent in [London]31-london two seasons ago - of the admiration [she]158-eliza had there excited - the attention [she]158-eliza had received ; and [I]1755-an ugly man even got hints of the titled conquest [she]158-eliza had made . In the course of the afternoon and evening these hints were enlarged on : various soft conversations were reported , and sentimental scenes represented ; and , in short , a volume of a novel of fashionable life was that day improvised by [her]158-eliza for [my]1755-an ugly man benefit . The communications were renewed from day to day : they always ran on the same theme - [herself]158-eliza , [her]158-eliza loves , and woes . It was strange [she]158-eliza never once adverted either to [[her]158-eliza mother]767-her mother 's illness , or [[her]158-eliza brother]6047-her brother 's death , or the present gloomy state of the family prospects . [Her]158-eliza mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety , and aspirations after dissipations to come . [She]158-eliza passed about five minutes each day in [[[her]158-eliza mother]767-her mother 's sick - room]6049-her mother 's sick - room , and no more . [Eliza]158-eliza still spoke little : [she]158-eliza had evidently no time to talk . [I]1755-an ugly man never saw [a busier person]6050-a busier person than [she]158-eliza seemed to be ; yet it was difficult to say what [she]158-eliza did : or rather , to discover any result of [her]158-eliza diligence . [She]158-eliza had an alarm to call [her]158-eliza up early . [I]1755-an ugly man know not how [she]158-eliza occupied [herself]158-eliza before breakfast , but after that meal [she]158-eliza divided [her]158-eliza time into regular portions , and each hour had its allotted task . Three times a day [she]158-eliza studied a little book , which [I]1755-an ugly man found , on inspection , was a Common Prayer Book . [I]1755-an ugly man asked [her]158-eliza once what was the great attraction of that volume , and [she]158-eliza said , "[1755-an ugly man] the Rubric . " Three hours [she]158-eliza gave to stitching , with gold thread , the border of a square crimson cloth , almost large enough for a carpet . In answer to [my]1755-an ugly man inquiries after the use of this article , [she]158-eliza informed [me]1755-an ugly man it was a covering for the altar of [a new church lately erected near [Gateshead]20-gateshead]6051-a new church lately erected near gateshead . Two hours [she]158-eliza devoted to [her]158-eliza diary ; two to working by [herself]158-eliza in [the kitchen - garden]4674-the kitchen - garden ; and one to the regulation of [her]158-eliza accounts . [She]158-eliza seemed to want no company ; no conversation . [I]1755-an ugly man believe [she]158-eliza was happy in [her]158-eliza way : this routine sufficed for [her]158-eliza ; and nothing annoyed [her]158-eliza so much as the occurrence of any incident which forced [her]158-eliza to vary its clockwork regularity . [She]158-eliza told [me]1755-an ugly man one evening , when more disposed to be communicative than usual , that [John]159-john 's conduct , and the threatened ruin of [the family]5088-the family , had been a source of profound affliction to [her]158-eliza : but [she]158-eliza had now , [she]158-eliza said , settled [her]158-eliza mind , and formed [her]158-eliza resolution . [Her]158-eliza own fortune [she]158-eliza had taken care to secure ; and when [[her]158-eliza mother]767-her mother died - and it was wholly improbable , [she]158-eliza tranquilly remarked , that [she]158-eliza should either recover or linger long - [she]158-eliza would execute a long - cherished project : seek a retirement where punctual habits would be permanently secured from disturbance , and place safe barriers between [herself]158-eliza and [a frivolous world]6055-a frivolous world . [I]1755-an ugly man asked if [Georgiana]160-georgiana would accompany [her]158-eliza . "[1755-an ugly man] Of course not . [Georgiana]160-georgiana and [she]160-georgiana had nothing in common : [they]2582-they never had had . [She]160-georgiana would not be burdened with [[her]160-georgiana society]2583-her society for any consideration . [Georgiana]160-georgiana should take [her]160-georgiana own course ; and [she]160-georgiana , [Eliza]158-eliza , would take [hers]160-georgiana . " [Georgiana]160-georgiana , when not unburdening [her]160-georgiana heart to [me]160-georgiana , spent most of [her]160-georgiana time in lying on the sofa , fretting about the dulness of [the house]4322-the house , and wishing over and over again that [[her]160-georgiana aunt]6034-her aunt [Gibson]356-gibson would send [her]160-georgiana an invitation up to [town]5534-town . "[160-georgiana] It would be so much better , " [she]160-georgiana said , "[160-georgiana] if [she]160-georgiana could only get out of the way for a month or two , till all was over . " [I]160-georgiana did not ask what [she]160-georgiana meant by "[160-georgiana] all being over , " but [I]160-georgiana suppose [she]160-georgiana referred to the expected decease of [[her]160-georgiana mother]767-her mother and the gloomy sequel of funeral rites . [Eliza]158-eliza generally took no more notice of [[her]158-eliza sister]4922-her sister 's indolence and complaints than if [no such murmuring , lounging object]6061-no such murmuring , lounging object had been before [her]158-eliza . One day , however , as [she]160-georgiana put away [her]160-georgiana account - book and unfolded [her]160-georgiana embroidery , [she]160-georgiana suddenly took [her]160-georgiana up thus - "[160-georgiana] [Georgiana]160-georgiana , a more vain and absurd animal than [you]2584-you was certainly never allowed to cumber [the earth]663-the earth . [You]2584-you had no right to be born , for [you]2584-you make no use of life . Instead of living for , in , and with [yourself]2584-you , as [a reasonable being]2586-a reasonable being ought , [you]2584-you seek only to fasten [your]2584-you feebleness on [some other person]2587-some other person 's strength : if [no one]593-no one can be found willing to burden [her]2589-her or [himself]2590-himself with such a fat , weak , puffy , useless thing , [you]2584-you cry out that [you]2584-you are ill - treated , neglected , miserable . Then , too , existence for [you]2584-you must be a scene of continual change and excitement , or else [the world]484-the world is [a dungeon]2592-a dungeon : [you]2584-you must be admired , [you]2584-you must be courted , [you]2584-you must be flattered - [you]2584-you must have music , dancing , and society - or [you]2584-you languish , [you]2584-you die away . Have [you]2584-you no sense to devise a system which will make [you]2584-you independent of all efforts , and all wills , but [your]2584-you own ? Take one day ; share it into sections ; to each section apportion its task : leave [no stray]2593-no stray unemployed quarters of an hour , ten minutes , five minutes - include all ; do each piece of business in its turn with method , with rigid regularity . The day will close almost before [you]2584-you are aware it has begun ; and [you]2584-you are indebted to [no one]593-no one for helping [you]2584-you to get rid of one vacant moment : [you]2584-you have had to seek [no one]593-no one 's company , conversation , sympathy , forbearance ; [you]2584-you have lived , in short , as [an independent being]2596-an independent being ought to do . Take this advice : the first and last [I]0-i shall offer [you]2584-you ; then [you]2584-you will not want [me]0-i or [any one else]4384-any one else , happen what may . Neglect it - go on as heretofore , craving , whining , and idling - and suffer the results of [your]2584-you idiocy , however bad and insuperable they may be . [I]0-i tell [you]2584-you this plainly ; and listen : for though [I]0-i shall no more repeat what [I]0-i am now about to say , [I]0-i shall steadily act on it . After [[my]0-i mother]612-my mother 's death , [I]0-i wash [my]0-i hands of [you]2584-you : from the day [her]612-my mother coffin is carried to [the vault in [Gateshead Church]19-gateshead church]2599-the vault in gateshead church , [you]2584-you and [I]0-i will be as separate as if [we]2600-we had never known [each other]724-each other . [You]2584-you need not think that because [we]2600-we chanced to be born of [the same parents]2602-the same parents , [I]0-i shall suffer [you]2584-you to fasten [me]0-i down by even the feeblest claim : [I]0-i can tell [you]2584-you this - if [the whole human race]2603-the whole human race , [ourselves]2600-we excepted , were swept away , and [we]2600-we two stood alone on [the earth]663-the earth , [I]0-i would leave [you]2584-you in [the old world]2605-the old world , and betake [myself]0-i to the new . " [She]2584-you closed [her]2584-you lips . "[2584-you] [You]2584-you might have spared [yourself]2584-you the trouble of delivering that tirade , " answered [Georgiana]160-georgiana . "[4413-everybody] [Everybody]4413-everybody knows [you]2584-you are the most selfish , heartless creature in existence : and [I]0-i know [your]2584-you spiteful hatred towards [me]0-i : [I]0-i have had a specimen of it before in the trick [you]2584-you played [me]0-i about [Lord Edwin Vere]357-lord edwin vere : [you]2584-you could not bear [me]0-i to be raised above [you]2584-you , to have a title , to be received into circles where [you]2584-you dare not show [your]2584-you face , and so [you]2584-you acted [the spy and informer]2607-the spy and informer , and ruined [my]0-i prospects for ever . " [Georgiana]160-georgiana took out [her]160-georgiana handkerchief and blew [her]160-georgiana nose for an hour afterwards ; [Eliza]158-eliza sat cold , impassable , and assiduously industrious . True , generous feeling is made small account of by some , but here were two natures rendered , the one intolerably acrid , the other despicably savourless for the want of it . Feeling without judgment is a washy draught indeed ; but judgment untempered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel for human deglutition . It was a wet and windy afternoon : [Georgiana]160-georgiana had fallen asleep on the sofa over the perusal of a novel ; [Eliza]158-eliza was gone to attend a saint's - day service at [the new church]6062-the new church - for in matters of religion [she]158-eliza was [a rigid formalist]6063-a rigid formalist : no weather ever prevented the punctual discharge of what [she]158-eliza considered [her]158-eliza devotional duties ; fair or foul , [she]158-eliza went to [church]949-church thrice every Sunday , and as often on week - days as there were prayers . [I]2584-you bethought [myself]2584-you to go [upstairs]552-upstairs and see how [the dying woman]6066-the dying woman sped , who lay there almost unheeded : [the very servants]6067-the very servants paid [her]6066-the dying woman but a remittent attention : [the hired nurse , being little looked after]6068-the hired nurse , being little looked after , would slip out of [the room]535-the room whenever [she]6066-the dying woman could . [Bessie]195-bessie was faithful ; but [she]195-bessie had [[her]195-bessie own family]6070-her own family to mind , and could only come occasionally to [the hall]608-the hall . [I]2584-you found [the sick - room]1176-the sick - room unwatched , as [I]2584-you had expected : [no nurse]6073-no nurse was there ; [the patient]2345-the patient lay still , and seemingly lethargic ; [her]195-bessie livid face sunk in the pillows : the fire was dying in the grate . [I]2584-you renewed the fuel , re - arranged the bedclothes , gazed awhile on [her]195-bessie who could not now gaze on [me]2584-you , and then [I]2584-you moved away to the window . The rain beat strongly against the panes , the wind blew tempestuously : "[2584-you] [One]358-one lies there , " [I]358-one thought , "[358-one] who will soon be beyond the war of earthly elements . Whither will that spirit - now struggling to quit its material tenement - flit when at length released ? " In pondering the great mystery , [I]0-i thought of [Helen Burns]213-helen , recalled [her]213-helen dying words - [her]213-helen faith - [her]213-helen doctrine of the equality of [disembodied souls]6075-disembodied souls . [I]0-i was still listening in thought to [her]213-helen well - remembered tones - still picturing [her]213-helen pale and spiritual aspect , [her]213-helen wasted face and sublime gaze , as [she]213-helen lay on [her]213-helen placid deathbed , and whispered [her]213-helen longing to be restored to [her]213-helen divine [Father]359-father 's bosom - when a feeble voice murmured from the couch behind : "[0-i] Who is that ? " [I]0-i knew [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed had not spoken for days : was [she]156-mrs. reed reviving ? [I]0-i went up to [her]156-mrs. reed . "[0-i] It is [I]0-i , [Aunt Reed]190-aunt reed . " "[0-i] Who - [I]0-i ? " was [her]156-mrs. reed answer . "[0-i] Who are [you]0-i ? " looking at [me]0-i with surprise and a sort of alarm , but still not wildly . "[0-i] [You]0-i are quite a stranger to [me]0-i - where is [Bessie]195-bessie ? " "[195-bessie] [She]195-bessie is at [the lodge]4914-the lodge , [aunt]4489-aunt . " "[2610-aunt] [Aunt]2610-aunt , " [she]156-mrs. reed repeated . "[2610-aunt] Who calls [me]0-i [aunt]4489-aunt ? [You]0-i are not [one of [the Gibsons]2613-the gibsons]2612-one of the gibsons ; and yet [I]0-i know [you]0-i - that face , and the eyes and forehead , are quiet familiar to [me]0-i : [you]0-i are like - why , [you]0-i are like [Jane Eyre]146-jane ! " [I]0-i said nothing : [I]0-i was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring [my]0-i identity . "[0-i] Yet , " said [she]146-jane , "[0-i] [I]0-i am afraid it is a mistake : [my]0-i thoughts deceive [me]0-i . [I]0-i wished to see [Jane Eyre]146-jane , and [I]0-i fancy a likeness where none exists : besides , in eight years [she]146-jane must be so changed . " [I]146-jane now gently assured [her]146-jane that [I]146-jane was [the person [she]146-jane supposed and desired [me]146-jane to be]6076-the person she supposed and desired me to be : and seeing that [I]146-jane was understood , and that [her]146-jane senses were quite collected , [I]146-jane explained how [Bessie]195-bessie had sent [[her]195-bessie husband]620-her husband to fetch [me]146-jane from [Thornfield]43-thornfield . "[146-jane] [I]0-i am very ill , [I]0-i know , " [she]146-jane said ere long . "[0-i] [I]0-i was trying to turn [myself]0-i a few minutes since , and find [I]0-i can not move a limb . It is as well [I]0-i should ease [my]0-i mind before [I]0-i die : what [we]2614-we think little of in health , burdens [us]2614-we at such an hour as the present is to [me]0-i . Is [the nurse]510-the nurse [here]4312-here ? or is there [no one in [the room]535-the room]2617-no one in the room but [you]2619-she ? " [I]510-the nurse assured [her]2619-she [we]2614-we were alone . "[510-the nurse] Well , [I]0-i have twice done [you]2619-she a wrong which [I]0-i regret now . [One]4415-one was in breaking the promise which [I]0-i gave [[my]0-i husband]5014-my husband to bring [you]2619-she up as [[my]0-i own child]2622-my own child ; the other - " [she]2619-she stopped . "[4415-one] After all , it is of no great importance , perhaps , " [she]2619-she murmured to [herself]2619-she : "[4415-one] and then [I]0-i may get better ; and to humble [myself]0-i so to [her]2623-her is painful . " [She]2619-she made an effort to alter [her]2619-she position , but failed : [her]2619-she face changed ; [she]2619-she seemed to experience some inward sensation - the precursor , perhaps , of the last pang . "[2623-her] Well , [I]0-i must get it over . Eternity is before [me]0-i : [I]0-i had better tell [her]2623-her . - Go to [my]0-i dressing - case , open it , and take out a letter [you]2619-she will see there . " [I]4457-madam obeyed [her]2619-she directions . "[4457-madam] Read the letter , " [she]2619-she said . It was short , and thus conceived:- "[4457-madam] [Madam]4457-madam , - Will [you]4457-madam have the goodness to send [me]0-i the address of [[my]0-i niece]2625-my niece , [Jane Eyre]146-jane , and to tell [me]0-i how [she]146-jane is ? It is [my]0-i intention to write shortly and desire [her]146-jane to come to [me]0-i at [Madeira]245-madeira . [Providence]272-providence has blessed [my]0-i endeavours to secure a competency ; and as [I]0-i am unmarried and childless , [I]0-i wish to adopt [her]146-jane during [my]0-i life , and bequeath [her]146-jane at [my]0-i death whatever [I]0-i may have to leave . - [I]0-i am , [Madam]4457-madam , c. , c. , " [JOHN EYRE]360-john , [Madeira]245-madeira . "[4457-madam] It was dated three years back . " Why did [I]0-i never hear of this ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " Because [I]0-i disliked [you]146-jane too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting [you]146-jane to prosperity . [I]0-i could not forget [your]146-jane conduct to [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane - the fury with which [you]146-jane once turned on [me]0-i ; the tone in which [you]146-jane declared [you]146-jane abhorred [me]0-i the worst of anybody in [the world]484-the world ; the unchildlike look and voice with which [you]146-jane affirmed that the very thought of [me]0-i made [you]146-jane sick , and asserted that [I]0-i had treated [you]146-jane with miserable cruelty . [I]0-i could not forget [my]0-i own sensations when [you]146-jane thus started up and poured out the venom of [your]146-jane mind : [I]0-i felt fear as if an animal that [I]0-i had struck or pushed had looked up at [me]0-i with human eyes and cursed [me]0-i in [a man]4429-a man 's voice . - Bring [me]0-i some water ! Oh , make haste ! "[0-i] " [Dear Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , as [I]0-i offered [her]2627-you the draught [she]2627-you required , " think no more of all this , let it pass away from [your]2627-you mind . Forgive [me]0-i for [my]0-i passionate language : [I]0-i was [a child]4305-a child then ; eight , nine years have passed since that day . "[0-i] [She]2627-you heeded nothing of what [I]0-i said ; but when [she]2627-you had tasted the water and drawn breath , [she]2627-you went on thus - " [I]2627-you tell [you]2627-you [I]2627-you could not forget it ; and [I]2627-you took [my]2627-you revenge : for [you]2627-you to be adopted by [[your]2627-you uncle]6081-your uncle , and placed in a state of ease and comfort , was what [I]2627-you could not endure . [I]2627-you wrote to [him]6081-your uncle ; [I]2627-you said [I]2627-you was sorry for [his]6081-your uncle disappointment , but [Jane Eyre]146-jane was dead : [she]146-jane had died of typhus fever at [Lowood]25-lowood . Now act as [you]2627-you please : write and contradict [my]2627-you assertion - expose [my]2627-you falsehood as soon as [you]2627-you like . [You]2627-you were born , [I]2627-you think , to be [my]2627-you torment : [my]2627-you last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which , but for [you]2627-you , [I]2627-you should never have been tempted to commit . "[2627-you] " If [you]2627-you could but be persuaded to think no more of it , [aunt]4489-aunt , and to regard [me]2628-her with kindness and forgiveness "[2628-her] " [You]2627-you have a very bad disposition , "[2628-her] said [she]2628-her , " and one to this day [I]2628-her feel it impossible to understand : how for nine years [you]2627-you could be patient and quiescent under any treatment , and in the tenth break out all fire and violence , [I]2628-her can never comprehend . "[2628-her] " [My]0-i disposition is not so bad as [you]2627-you think : [I]0-i am passionate , but not vindictive . Many a time , as [a little child]5950-a little child , [I]0-i should have been glad to love [you]2627-you if [you]2627-you would have let [me]0-i ; and [I]0-i long earnestly to be reconciled to [you]2627-you now : kiss [me]0-i , [aunt]4489-aunt . "[0-i] [I]0-i approached [my]0-i cheek to [her]2628-her lips : [she]2628-her would not touch it . [She]2628-her said [I]0-i oppressed [her]2628-her by leaning over the bed , and again demanded water . As [I]0-i laid [her]2628-her down - for [I]0-i raised [her]2628-her and supported [her]2628-her on [my]0-i arm while [she]2628-her drank - [I]0-i covered [her]2628-her ice - cold and clammy hand with [mine]0-i : the feeble fingers shrank from [my]0-i touch - the glazing eyes shunned [my]0-i gaze . " Love [me]0-i , then , or hate [me]0-i , as [you]2628-her will , "[0-i] [I]0-i said at last , " [you]2628-her have [my]0-i full and free forgiveness : ask now for [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's , and be at peace . "[0-i] [Poor , suffering woman]2629-poor , suffering woman ! it was too late for [her]2628-her to make now the effort to change [her]2628-her habitual frame of mind : living , [she]2628-her had ever hated [me]0-i - dying , [she]2628-her must hate [me]0-i still . [The nurse]510-the nurse now entered , and [Bessie]195-bessie followed . [I]0-i yet lingered half - an - hour longer , hoping to see some sign of amity : but [she]2628-her gave none . [She]2628-her was fast relapsing into stupor ; nor did [her]2628-her mind again rally : at twelve o'clock that night [she]2628-her died . [I]0-i was not present to close [her]2628-her eyes , nor were either of [[her]2628-her daughters]2066-her daughters . [They]2632-they came to tell [us]2633-us the next morning that all was over . [She]2628-her was by that time laid out . [Eliza]158-eliza and [I]0-i went to look at [her]2628-her : [Georgiana]160-georgiana , who had burst out into loud weeping , said [she]160-georgiana dared not go . There was stretched [Sarah Reed]183-sarah 's once robust and active frame , rigid and still : [her]2628-her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid ; [her]2628-her brow and strong traits wore yet the impress of [her]2628-her inexorable soul . A strange and solemn object was that corpse to [me]0-i . [I]0-i gazed on it with gloom and pain : nothing soft , nothing sweet , nothing pitying , or hopeful , or subduing did it inspire ; only a grating anguish for [HER]2628-her woes - not [MY]0-i loss - and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a form . [Eliza]158-eliza surveyed [[her]158-eliza parent]6015-her parent calmly . After a silence of some minutes [she]158-eliza observed - " With [her]158-eliza constitution [she]158-eliza should have lived to a good old age : [her]158-eliza life was shortened by trouble . "[158-eliza] And then a spasm constricted [her]158-eliza mouth for an instant : as it passed away [she]158-eliza turned and left [the room]535-the room , and so did [I.]0-i Neither of [us]2636-us had dropt a tear . CHAPTER XXII [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had given [me]0-i but one week 's leave of absence : yet a month elapsed before [I]0-i quitted [Gateshead]20-gateshead . [I]0-i wished to leave immediately after the funeral , but [Georgiana]160-georgiana entreated [me]0-i to stay till [she]160-georgiana could get off to [London]31-london , whither [she]160-georgiana was now at last invited by [[her]160-georgiana uncle]2637-her uncle , [Mr. Gibson]356-gibson , who had come down to direct [[his]356-gibson sister]5987-his sister 's interment and settle the family affairs . [Georgiana]160-georgiana said [she]160-georgiana dreaded being left alone with [Eliza]158-eliza ; from [her]160-georgiana [she]160-georgiana got neither sympathy in [her]160-georgiana dejection , support in [her]160-georgiana fears , nor aid in [her]160-georgiana preparations ; so [I]0-i bore with [her]160-georgiana feeble - minded wailings and selfish lamentations as well as [I]0-i could , and did [my]0-i best in sewing for [her]160-georgiana and packing [her]160-georgiana dresses . It is true , that while [I]0-i worked , [she]160-georgiana would idle ; and [I]0-i thought to [myself]0-i , " If [you]160-georgiana and [I]160-georgiana were destined to live always together , [cousin]6085-cousin , [we]6086-we would commence matters on a different footing . [I]160-georgiana should not settle tamely down into being [the forbearing party]6087-the forbearing party ; [I]160-georgiana should assign [you]160-georgiana [your]160-georgiana share of labour , and compel [you]160-georgiana to accomplish it , or else it should be left undone : [I]160-georgiana should insist , also , on [your]160-georgiana keeping some of those drawling , half - insincere complaints hushed in [your]160-georgiana own breast . It is only because [our]6086-we connection happens to be very transitory , and comes at a peculiarly mournful season , that [I]160-georgiana consent thus to render it so patient and compliant on [my]160-georgiana part . "[160-georgiana] At last [I]0-i saw [Georgiana]160-georgiana off ; but now it was [Eliza]158-eliza 's turn to request [me]0-i to stay another week . [Her]160-georgiana plans required all [her]160-georgiana time and attention , [she]160-georgiana said ; [she]160-georgiana was about to depart for [some unknown bourne]2639-some unknown bourne ; and all day long [she]160-georgiana stayed in [[her]160-georgiana own room]4818-her own room , [her]160-georgiana door bolted within , filling trunks , emptying drawers , burning papers , and holding no communication with [any one]591-any one . [She]160-georgiana wished [me]0-i to look after [the house]4322-the house , to see [callers]1681-callers , and answer notes of condolence . One morning [she]160-georgiana told [me]0-i [I]0-i was at liberty . " And , "[160-georgiana] [she]160-georgiana added , " [I]160-georgiana am obliged to [you]0-i for [your]0-i valuable services and discreet conduct ! There is some difference between living with such an one as [you]0-i and with [Georgiana]160-georgiana : [you]0-i perform [your]0-i own part in life and burden [no one]593-no one . To - morrow , "[160-georgiana] [she]160-georgiana continued , " [I]160-georgiana set out for [the Continent]52-the continent . [I]160-georgiana shall take up [my]160-georgiana abode in [a religious house near [Lisle]32-lisle]6089-a religious house near lisle - [a nunnery [you]0-i would call [it]6090-a nunnery you would call it]6090-a nunnery you would call it ; there [I]160-georgiana shall be quiet and unmolested . [I]160-georgiana shall devote [myself]160-georgiana for a time to the examination of the Roman Catholic dogmas , and to a careful study of the workings of [their]6091-their system : if [I]160-georgiana find it to be , as [I]160-georgiana half suspect it is , the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things decently and in order , [I]160-georgiana shall embrace the tenets of [Rome]17-rome and probably take the veil . "[160-georgiana] [I]0-i neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor attempted to dissuade [her]160-georgiana from it . " The vocation will fit [you]160-georgiana to a hair , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought : " much good may it do [you]160-georgiana ! "[0-i] When [we]2644-we parted , [she]160-georgiana said : " Good - bye , [cousin Jane Eyre]146-jane ; [I]160-georgiana wish [you]146-jane well : [you]146-jane have some sense . "[160-georgiana] [I]0-i then returned : " [You]160-georgiana are not without sense , [cousin Eliza]158-eliza ; but what [you]160-georgiana have , [I]0-i suppose , in another year will be walled up alive in [a French convent]6092-a french convent . However , it is not [my]0-i business , and so it suits [you]160-georgiana , [I]0-i do n't much care . "[0-i] " [You]146-jane are in the right , "[160-georgiana] said [she]160-georgiana ; and with these words [we]2644-we each went [our]2644-we separate way . As [I]0-i shall not have occasion to refer either to [her]160-georgiana or [[her]160-georgiana sister]4922-her sister again , [I]0-i may as well mention here , that [Georgiana]160-georgiana made an advantageous match with [a wealthy worn - out man of fashion]2646-a wealthy worn - out man of fashion , and that [Eliza]158-eliza actually took the veil , and is at this day superior of [the convent]2647-the convent where [she]158-eliza passed the period of [her]158-eliza novitiate , and which [she]158-eliza endowed with [her]158-eliza fortune . How [people]4493-people feel when [they]4493-people are returning [home]509-home from an absence , long or short , [I]0-i did not know : [I]0-i had never experienced the sensation . [I]0-i had known what it was to come back to [Gateshead]20-gateshead when [a child after a long walk]2650-a child after a long walk , to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy ; and later , what it was to come back from [church]949-church to [Lowood]25-lowood , to long for a plenteous meal and a good fire , and to be unable to get either . Neither of these returnings was very pleasant or desirable : no magnet drew [me]0-i to a given point , increasing in its strength of attraction the nearer [I]0-i came . The return to [Thornfield]43-thornfield was yet to be tried . [My]0-i journey seemed tedious - very tedious : fifty miles one day , a night spent at [an inn]865-an inn ; fifty miles the next day . During the first twelve hours [I]0-i thought of [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed in [her]156-mrs. reed last moments ; [I]0-i saw [her]156-mrs. reed disfigured and discoloured face , and heard [her]156-mrs. reed strangely altered voice . [I]0-i mused on the funeral day , the coffin , [the hearse]2653-the hearse , the black train of [tenants]1444-tenants and [servants]4989-servants - few was the number of [relatives]5211-relatives - [the gaping vault]2657-the gaping vault , [the silent church]2658-the silent church , the solemn service . Then [I]0-i thought of [Eliza]158-eliza and [Georgiana]160-georgiana ; [I]0-i beheld one the cynosure of [a ball - room]2659-a ball - room , the other the inmate of [a convent cell]2660-a convent cell ; and [I]0-i dwelt on and analysed [their]2661-their separate peculiarities of person and character . The evening arrival at [the great town of]2662-the great town of - scattered these thoughts ; night gave [them]2661-their quite another turn : laid down on [[my]0-i traveller]2663-my traveller 's bed , [I]0-i left reminiscence for anticipation . [I]0-i was going back to [Thornfield]43-thornfield : but how long was [I]0-i to stay [there]4426-there ? Not long ; of that [I]0-i was sure . [I]0-i had heard from [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax in the interim of [my]0-i absence : the party at [the hall]608-the hall was dispersed ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had left for [London]31-london three weeks ago , but [he]251-mr. rochester was then expected to return in a fortnight . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax surmised that [he]251-mr. rochester was gone to make arrangements for [his]251-mr. rochester wedding , as [he]251-mr. rochester had talked of purchasing [a new carriage]2666-a new carriage : [she]180-mrs. fairfax said the idea of [his]251-mr. rochester marrying [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram still seemed strange to [her]180-mrs. fairfax ; but from what [everybody]4413-everybody said , and from what [she]180-mrs. fairfax had [herself]180-mrs. fairfax seen , [she]180-mrs. fairfax could no longer doubt that the event would shortly take place . " [You]180-mrs. fairfax would be strangely incredulous if [you]180-mrs. fairfax did doubt it , "[0-i] was [my]0-i mental comment . " [I]0-i do n't doubt it . "[0-i] The question followed , " Where was [I]0-i to go ? "[0-i] [I]0-i dreamt of [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram all the night : in a vivid morning dream [I]0-i saw [her]297-miss ingram closing the gates of [Thornfield]43-thornfield against [me]0-i and pointing [me]0-i out [another road]2668-another road ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester looked on with [his]251-mr. rochester arms folded - smiling sardonically , as it seemed , at both [her]297-miss ingram and [me]0-i . [I]0-i had not notified to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax the exact day of [my]0-i return ; for [I]0-i did not wish [either car or carriage]2669-either car or carriage to meet [me]0-i at [Millcote]44-millcote . [I]0-i proposed to walk the distance quietly by [myself]0-i ; and very quietly , after leaving [my]0-i box in [the ostler]2670-the ostler 's care , did [I]0-i slip away from [the George Inn]2671-the george inn , about six o'clock of a June evening , and take [the old road]2672-the old road to [Thornfield]43-thornfield : [a road which lay chiefly through [fields , and was now little frequented]2674-fields , and was now little frequented]2673-a road which lay chiefly through fields , and was now little frequented . It was not a bright or splendid summer evening , though fair and soft : [the haymakers]2675-the haymakers were at work all along [the road]4892-the road ; and the sky , though far from cloudless , was such as promised well for the future : [its]2677-its blue - where blue was visible - was mild and settled , and its cloud strata high and thin . [The west]2678-the west , too , was warm : no watery gleam chilled it - it seemed as if there was a fire lit , an altar burning behind its screen of marbled vapour , and out of apertures shone a golden redness . [I]0-i felt glad as [the road]4892-the road shortened before [me]0-i : so glad that [I]0-i stopped once to ask [myself]0-i what that joy meant : and to remind reason that it was not to [[my]0-i home]2680-my home [I]0-i was going , or to a permanent resting - place , or to [a place where [fond friends]2682-fond friends looked out for [me]0-i and waited [my]0-i arrival]2681-a place where fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival . " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax will smile [you]6093-you a calm welcome , to be sure , "[0-i] said [I]0-i ; " and little [Adele]259-adele will clap [her]259-adele hands and jump to see [you]6093-you : but [you]6093-you know very well [you]6093-you are thinking of another than [they]2684-they , and that [he]251-mr. rochester is not thinking of [you]6093-you . "[0-i] But what is so headstrong as [youth]2683-youth ? What so blind as inexperience ? [These]361-these affirmed that it was pleasure enough to have the privilege of again looking on [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , whether [he]251-mr. rochester looked on [me]0-i or not ; and [they]2684-they added - " Hasten ! hasten ! be with [him]251-mr. rochester while [you]6093-you may : but a few more days or weeks , at most , and [you]6093-you are parted from [him]251-mr. rochester for ever ! "[2684-they] And then [I]0-i strangled a new - born agony - a deformed thing which [I]0-i could not persuade [myself]0-i to own and rear - and ran on . [They]2684-they are making hay , too , in [[Thornfield]43-thornfield meadows]2685-thornfield meadows : or rather , [the labourers]2686-the labourers are just quitting [their]2686-the labourers work , and returning [home]509-home with [their]2686-the labourers rakes on [their]2686-the labourers shoulders , now , at the hour [I]0-i arrive . [I]0-i have but [a field or two to traverse]2688-a field or two to traverse , and then [I]0-i shall cross [the road]4892-the road and reach the gates . How full the hedges are of roses ! But [I]0-i have no time to gather any ; [I]0-i want to be at [the house]4322-the house . [I]0-i passed [a tall briar]2691-a tall briar , shooting leafy and flowery branches across [the path]829-the path ; [I]0-i see the narrow stile with stone steps ; and [I]0-i see - [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester sitting there , a book and a pencil in [his]251-mr. rochester hand ; [he]251-mr. rochester is writing . Well , [he]251-mr. rochester is not a ghost ; yet every nerve [I]0-i have is unstrung : for a moment [I]0-i am beyond [my]0-i own mastery . What does it mean ? [I]0-i did not think [I]0-i should tremble in this way when [I]0-i saw [him]251-mr. rochester , or lose [my]0-i voice or the power of motion in [his]251-mr. rochester presence . [I]0-i will go back as soon as [I]0-i can stir : [I]0-i need not make an absolute fool of [myself]0-i . [I]0-i know another way to [the house]4322-the house . It does not signify if [I]0-i knew twenty ways ; for [he]251-mr. rochester has seen [me]0-i . " [Hillo]362-hillo ! "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester cries ; and [he]251-mr. rochester puts up [his]251-mr. rochester book and [his]251-mr. rochester pencil . " There [you]362-hillo are ! Come on , if [you]362-hillo please . "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i do come on ; though in what fashion [I]0-i know not ; being scarcely cognisant of [my]0-i movements , and solicitous only to appear calm ; and , above all , to control the working muscles of [my]0-i face - which [I]0-i feel rebel insolently against [my]0-i will , and struggle to express what [I]0-i had resolved to conceal . But [I]0-i have a veil - it is down : [I]0-i may make shift yet to behave with decent composure . " And this is [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? Are [you]146-jane coming from [Millcote]44-millcote , and on foot ? Yes - just one of [your]146-jane tricks : not to send for [a carriage]776-a carriage , and come clattering over [street]6095-street and [road]6096-road like [a common mortal]6097-a common mortal , but to steal into the vicinage of [[your]146-jane home]5172-your home along with twilight , just as if [you]146-jane were a dream or a shade . What the deuce have [you]146-jane done with [yourself]146-jane this last month ? "[0-i] " [I]2694-me have been with [[my]2694-me aunt]4392-my aunt , [sir]4374-sir , who is dead . "[2694-me] " [A true Janian reply]6101-a true janian reply ! [Good angels]6102-good angels be [my]2694-me guard ! [She]4392-my aunt comes from [the other world]6103-the other world - from the abode of [people who are dead]6104-people who are dead ; and tells [me]2694-me so when [she]4392-my aunt meets [me]2694-me alone here in the gloaming ! If [I]2694-me dared , [I]2694-me 'd touch [you]146-jane , to see if [you]146-jane are substance or shadow , [you]146-jane elf ! - but [I]2694-me 'd as soon offer to take hold of a blue ignis fatuus light in [a marsh]6105-a marsh . Truant ! truant ! "[2694-me] [he]2694-me added , when [he]2694-me had paused an instant . " Absent from [me]2694-me a whole month , and forgetting [me]2694-me quite , [I]2694-me 'll be sworn ! "[2694-me] [I]0-i knew there would be pleasure in meeting [[my]0-i master]4336-my master again , even though broken by the fear that [he]2694-me was so soon to cease to be [[my]0-i master]4336-my master , and by the knowledge that [I]0-i was nothing to [him]2694-me : but there was ever in [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester so at least [I]0-i thought such a wealth of the power of communicating happiness , that to taste but of the crumbs [he]2694-me scattered to stray and stranger birds like [me]0-i , was to feast genially . [His]2694-me last words were balm : they seemed to imply that it imported something to [him]2694-me whether [I]0-i forgot [him]2694-me or not . And [he]2694-me had spoken of [Thornfield]43-thornfield as [[my]0-i home]2680-my home - would that it were [[my]0-i home]2680-my home ! [He]2694-me did not leave [the stile]1647-the stile , and [I]0-i hardly liked to ask to go by . [I]0-i inquired soon if [he]2694-me had not been to [London]31-london . " Yes ; [I]0-i suppose [you]2694-me found that out by second - sight . "[0-i] " [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax told [me]2694-me in a letter . "[2694-me] " And did [she]180-mrs. fairfax inform [you]2694-me what [I]2694-me went to do ? "[2694-me] " Oh , yes , [sir]4374-sir ! [Everybody]4413-everybody knew [your]2694-me errand . "[2694-me] " [You]2694-me must see [the carriage]654-the carriage , [Jane]146-jane , and tell [me]2694-me if [you]2694-me do n't think it will suit [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester exactly ; and whether [she]180-mrs. fairfax wo n't look like [Queen Boadicea]364-queen boadicea , leaning back against those purple cushions . [I]2694-me wish , [Jane]146-jane , [I]2694-me were a trifle better adapted to match with [her]180-mrs. fairfax externally . Tell [me]2694-me now , fairy as [you]2694-me are - ca n't [you]2694-me give [me]2694-me a charm , or a philter , or something of that sort , to make [me]2694-me [a handsome man]6109-a handsome man ? "[2694-me] " It would be past the power of magic , [sir]4374-sir ; "[0-i] and , in thought , [I]0-i added , " A loving eye is all the charm needed : to such [you]2694-me are handsome enough ; or rather [your]2694-me sternness has a power beyond beauty . "[0-i] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had sometimes read [my]0-i unspoken thoughts with an acumen to [me]0-i incomprehensible : in the present instance [he]251-mr. rochester took no notice of [my]0-i abrupt vocal response ; but [he]251-mr. rochester smiled at [me]0-i with a certain smile [he]251-mr. rochester had of [his]251-mr. rochester own , and which [he]251-mr. rochester used but on rare occasions . [He]251-mr. rochester seemed to think it too good for common purposes : it was the real sunshine of feeling - [he]251-mr. rochester shed it over [me]0-i now . " Pass , [Janet]265-janet , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester , making room for [me]0-i to cross the stile : " go up [home]509-home , and stay [your]0-i weary little wandering feet at [a friend]5395-a friend 's threshold . "[251-mr. rochester] All [I]0-i had now to do was to obey [him]251-mr. rochester in silence : no need for [me]0-i to colloquise further . [I]0-i got over the stile without a word , and meant to leave [him]251-mr. rochester calmly . An impulse held [me]0-i fast - a force turned [me]0-i round . [I]0-i said - or something in [me]0-i said for [me]0-i , and in spite of [me]0-i - " Thank [you]251-mr. rochester , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , for [your]251-mr. rochester great kindness . [I]0-i am strangely glad to get back again to [you]251-mr. rochester : and wherever [you]251-mr. rochester are is [[my]0-i home]2680-my home - [[my]0-i only home]6114-my only home . "[0-i] [I]0-i walked on so fast that even [he]251-mr. rochester could hardly have overtaken [me]0-i had [he]251-mr. rochester tried . [Little Adele]259-adele was half wild with delight when [she]259-adele saw [me]0-i . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax received [me]0-i with [her]180-mrs. fairfax usual plain friendliness . [Leah]195-bessie smiled , and even [Sophie]256-sophie bid [me]0-i " bon soir "[256-sophie] with glee . This was very pleasant ; there is no happiness like that of being loved by [your]2700-your fellow - creatures , and feeling that [your]2700-your presence is an addition to [their]2701-their comfort . [I]0-i that evening shut [my]0-i eyes resolutely against the future : [I]0-i stopped [my]0-i cars against the voice that kept warning [me]0-i of near separation and coming grief . When tea was over and [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had taken [her]180-mrs. fairfax knitting , and [I]0-i had assumed a low seat near [her]180-mrs. fairfax , and [Adele]259-adele , kneeling on the carpet , had nestled close up to [me]0-i , and a sense of mutual affection seemed to surround [us]2702-us with a ring of golden peace , [I]0-i uttered a silent prayer that [we]2702-us might not be parted far or soon ; but when , as [we]2702-us thus sat , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester entered , unannounced , and looking at [us]2702-us , seemed to take pleasure in the spectacle of [a group so amicable]2703-a group so amicable - when [he]251-mr. rochester said [he]251-mr. rochester supposed [the old lady]1406-the old lady was all right now that [she]1406-the old lady had got [[her]1406-the old lady adopted daughter]2705-her adopted daughter back again , and added that [he]251-mr. rochester saw [Adele]259-adele was " prete e croquer sa petite maman Anglaise "[251-mr. rochester] - [I]0-i half ventured to hope that [he]251-mr. rochester would , even after [his]251-mr. rochester marriage , keep [us]2702-us together somewhere under the shelter of [his]251-mr. rochester protection , and not quite exiled from the sunshine of [his]251-mr. rochester presence . A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded [my]0-i return to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall . Nothing was said of [the master]540-the master 's marriage , and [I]0-i saw no preparation going on for such an event . Almost every day [I]0-i asked [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax if [she]180-mrs. fairfax had yet heard anything decided : [her]180-mrs. fairfax answer was always in the negative . Once [she]180-mrs. fairfax said [she]180-mrs. fairfax had actually put the question to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester as to when [he]251-mr. rochester was going to bring [[his]251-mr. rochester bride]5806-his bride [home]509-home ; but [he]251-mr. rochester had answered [her]180-mrs. fairfax only by a joke and one of [his]251-mr. rochester queer looks , and [she]180-mrs. fairfax could not tell what to make of [him]251-mr. rochester . One thing specially surprised [me]0-i , and that was , there were no journeyings backward and forward , no visits to [Ingram Park]70-ingram park : to be sure [it]70-ingram park was twenty miles off , on [the borders of [another county]2710-another county]2709-the borders of another county ; but what was that distance to [an ardent lover]2711-an ardent lover ? To so practised and indefatigable [a horseman]2712-a horseman as [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , it would be but a morning 's ride . [I]0-i began to cherish hopes [I]0-i had no right to conceive : that the match was broken off ; that rumour had been mistaken ; that [one or both parties]2713-one or both parties had changed [their]2713-one or both parties minds . [I]0-i used to look at [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's face to see if it were sad or fierce ; but [I]0-i could not remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or evil feelings . If , in the moments [I]0-i and [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil spent with [him]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i lacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection , [he]251-mr. rochester became even gay . Never had [he]251-mr. rochester called [me]0-i more frequently to [his]251-mr. rochester presence ; never been kinder to [me]0-i when there - and , alas ! never had [I]0-i loved [him]251-mr. rochester so well . CHAPTER XXIII A splendid Midsummer shone over [England]21-england : skies so pure , suns so radiant as were then seen in long succession , seldom favour even singly , [[our]2716-our wave - girt land]2717-our wave - girt land . It was as if [a band of Italian days]2718-a band of italian days had come from [the South]79-the south , like a flock of glorious passenger birds , and lighted to rest them on [the cliffs of [Albion]80-albion]2719-the cliffs of albion . The hay was all got in ; [the fields round [Thornfield]43-thornfield]2720-the fields round thornfield were green and shorn ; [the roads]1387-the roads white and baked ; the trees were in their dark prime ; hedge and wood , full - leaved and deeply tinted , contrasted well with the sunny hue of [the cleared meadows between]2722-the cleared meadows between . On Midsummer - eve , [Adele]259-adele , weary with gathering wild strawberries in [Hay Lane]58-hay lane half the day , had gone to bed with the sun . [I]0-i watched [her]259-adele drop asleep , and when [I]0-i left [her]259-adele , [I]0-i sought [the garden]4568-the garden . It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty - four:- " Day its fervid fires had wasted , "[0-i] and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit . Where the sun had gone down in simple state - pure of the pomp of clouds - spread a solemn purple , burning with the light of red jewel and furnace flame at one point , on one hill - peak , and extending high and wide , soft and still softer , over half heaven . [The east]2724-the east had its own charm or fine deep blue , and [its]2724-the east own modest gem , a casino and solitary star : soon it would boast the moon ; but [she]259-adele was yet beneath the horizon . [I]0-i walked a while on [the pavement]2725-the pavement ; but a subtle , well - known scent - that of a cigar - stole from some window ; [I]0-i saw the library casement open a handbreadth ; [I]0-i knew [I]0-i might be watched thence ; so [I]0-i went apart into [the orchard]5934-the orchard . [No nook in [the grounds]772-the grounds]2727-no nook in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden - like ; [it]2727-no nook in the grounds was full of trees , [it]2727-no nook in the grounds bloomed with flowers : a very high wall shut [it]2727-no nook in the grounds out from [the court]2729-the court , on one side ; on the other , [a beech avenue]2730-a beech avenue screened [it]2727-no nook in the grounds from [the lawn]633-the lawn . At the bottom was a sunk fence ; [its]2732-its sole separation from [lonely fields]2733-lonely fields : [a winding walk , bordered with laurels and terminating in a giant horse - chestnut , circled at the base by a seat]2734-a winding walk , bordered with laurels and terminating in a giant horse - chestnut , circled at the base by a seat , led down to the fence . Here one could wander unseen . While such honey - dew fell , such silence reigned , such gloaming gathered , [I]0-i felt as if [I]0-i could haunt such shade for ever ; but in threading the flower and fruit parterres at the upper part of [the enclosure]2735-the enclosure , enticed there by the light the now rising moon cast on [this more open quarter]2736-this more open quarter , [my]0-i step is stayed - not by sound , not by sight , but once more by a warning fragrance . Sweet - briar and southernwood , jasmine , pink , and rose have long been yielding [their]2737-their evening sacrifice of incense : this new scent is neither of shrub nor flower ; it is - [I]0-i know it well - it is [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's cigar . [I]0-i look round and [I]0-i listen . [I]0-i see trees laden with ripening fruit . [I]0-i hear a nightingale warbling in a wood half a mile off ; no moving form is visible , no coming step audible ; but that perfume increases : [I]0-i must flee . [I]0-i make for the wicket leading to the shrubbery , and [I]0-i see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester entering . [I]0-i step aside into the ivy recess ; [he]251-mr. rochester will not stay long : [he]251-mr. rochester will soon return whence [he]251-mr. rochester came , and if [I]0-i sit still [he]251-mr. rochester will never see [me]0-i . But no - eventide is as pleasant to [him]251-mr. rochester as to [me]0-i , and [this antique garden]2738-this antique garden as attractive ; and [he]251-mr. rochester strolls on , now lifting the gooseberry- tree branches to look at the fruit , large as plums , with which they are laden ; now taking a ripe cherry from the wall ; now stooping towards a knot of flowers , either to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew - beads on their petals . A great moth goes humming by [me]0-i ; it alights on a plant at [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's foot : [he]251-mr. rochester sees it , and bends to examine it . " Now , [he]251-mr. rochester has [his]251-mr. rochester back towards [me]0-i , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " and [he]251-mr. rochester is occupied too ; perhaps , if [I]0-i walk softly , [I]0-i can slip away unnoticed . "[0-i] [I]0-i trode on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might not betray [me]0-i : [he]251-mr. rochester was standing among the beds at a yard or two distant from where [I]0-i had to pass ; the moth apparently engaged [him]251-mr. rochester . " [I]0-i shall get by very well , "[0-i] [I]0-i meditated . As [I]0-i crossed [his]251-mr. rochester shadow , thrown long over [the garden]4568-the garden by the moon , not yet risen high , [he]251-mr. rochester said quietly , without turning - " [Jane]146-jane , come and look at [this fellow]6115-this fellow . "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i had made no noise : [he]251-mr. rochester had not eyes behind - could [his]251-mr. rochester shadow feel ? [I]0-i started at first , and then [I]0-i approached [him]251-mr. rochester . " Look at [his]251-mr. rochester wings , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester , " [he]251-mr. rochester reminds [me]251-mr. rochester rather of a West Indian insect ; [one]4415-one does not often see so large and gay [a night - rover in [England]21-england]6117-a night - rover in england ; there ! [he]251-mr. rochester is flown . "[251-mr. rochester] The moth roamed away . [I]0-i was sheepishly retreating also ; but [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester followed [me]0-i , and when [we]2740-we reached [the wicket]2741-the wicket , [he]251-mr. rochester said - " Turn back : on so lovely a night it is a shame to sit in [the house]4322-the house ; and surely [no one]593-no one can wish to go to bed while sunset is thus at meeting with moonrise . "[251-mr. rochester] It is one of [my]0-i faults , that though [my]0-i tongue is sometimes prompt enough at an answer , there are times when it sadly fails [me]0-i in framing an excuse ; and always the lapse occurs at some crisis , when a facile word or plausible pretext is specially wanted to get [me]0-i out of painful embarrassment . [I]0-i did not like to walk at this hour alone with [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester in [the shadowy orchard]2742-the shadowy orchard ; but [I]0-i could not find a reason to allege for leaving [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i followed with lagging step , and thoughts busily bent on discovering a means of extrication ; but [he]251-mr. rochester [himself]251-mr. rochester looked so composed and so grave also , [I]0-i became ashamed of feeling any confusion : the evil - if evil existent or prospective there was - seemed to lie with [me]0-i only ; [his]251-mr. rochester mind was unconscious and quiet . " [Jane]146-jane , "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester recommenced , as [we]2743-we entered [the laurel walk]2744-the laurel walk , and slowly strayed down in the direction of the sunk fence and the horse - chestnut , " [Thornfield]43-thornfield is [a pleasant place]6120-a pleasant place in summer , is it not ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[251-mr. rochester] " [You]0-i must have become in some degree attached to [the house]4322-the house , - [you]0-i , who have an eye for natural beauties , and a good deal of the organ of Adhesiveness ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester am attached to it , indeed . "[251-mr. rochester] " And though [I]251-mr. rochester do n't comprehend how it is , [I]251-mr. rochester perceive [you]0-i have acquired a degree of regard for [that foolish little child [Adele]259-adele]6123-that foolish little child adele , too ; and even for [simple dame Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir ; in different ways , [I]251-mr. rochester have an affection for both . "[251-mr. rochester] " And would be sorry to part with [them]6125-them ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Yes . "[251-mr. rochester] " Pity ! "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester said , and sighed and paused . " It is always the way of events in this life , "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester continued presently : " no sooner have [you]0-i got settled in [a pleasant resting - place]6126-a pleasant resting - place , than a voice calls out to [you]0-i to rise and move on , for the hour of repose is expired . "[251-mr. rochester] " Must [I]0-i move on , [sir]4374-sir ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " Must [I]0-i leave [Thornfield]43-thornfield ? "[0-i] " [I]251-mr. rochester believe [you]0-i must , [Jane]146-jane . [I]251-mr. rochester am sorry , [Janet]265-janet , but [I]251-mr. rochester believe indeed [you]0-i must . "[251-mr. rochester] This was a blow : but [I]0-i did not let it prostrate [me]0-i . " Well , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i shall be ready when the order to march comes . "[0-i] " It is come now - [I]0-i must give it to - night . "[0-i] " Then [you]0-i ARE going to be married , [sir]4374-sir ? "[0-i] " Ex - act - ly - pre - cise - ly : with [your]0-i usual acuteness , [you]0-i have hit the nail straight on the head . "[0-i] " Soon , [sir]4374-sir ? "[0-i] " Very soon , [my]0-i - that is , [Miss Eyre]146-jane : and [you]0-i 'll remember , [Jane]146-jane , the first time [I]0-i , or Rumour , plainly intimated to [you]0-i that it was [my]0-i intention to put [[my]0-i old bachelor]6131-my old bachelor 's neck into the sacred noose , to enter into [the holy estate of matrimony]6132-the holy estate of matrimony - to take [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram to [my]0-i bosom , in short [she]297-miss ingram 's an extensive armful : but that 's not to the point - one ca n't have too much of such a very excellent thing as [my]0-i beautiful Blanche : well , as [I]0-i was saying - listen to [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ! [You]0-i 're not turning [your]0-i head to look after [more moths]6133-more moths , are [you]0-i ? That was only [a lady - clock]6134-a lady - clock , [child]4354-child , ' flying away [home]509-home . ' [I]0-i wish to remind [you]0-i that it was [you]0-i who first said to [me]0-i , with that discretion [I]0-i respect in [you]0-i - with that foresight , prudence , and humility which befit [your]0-i responsible and dependent position - that in case [I]0-i married [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , both [you]0-i and little [Adele]259-adele had better trot forthwith . [I]0-i pass over the sort of slur conveyed in this suggestion on the character of [[my]0-i beloved]6137-my beloved ; indeed , when [you]0-i are far away , [Janet]265-janet , [I]0-i 'll try to forget it : [I]0-i shall notice only its wisdom ; which is such that [I]0-i have made it [my]0-i law of action . [Adele]259-adele must go to [school]537-school ; and [you]0-i , [Miss Eyre]146-jane , must get a new situation . "[0-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i will advertise immediately : and meantime , [I]0-i suppose - "[0-i] [I]0-i was going to say , " [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i may stay [here]4312-here , till [I]0-i find another shelter to betake [myself]0-i to : "[0-i] but [I]0-i stopped , feeling it would not do to risk a long sentence , for [my]0-i voice was not quite under command . " In about a month [I]251-mr. rochester hope to be [a bridegroom]6141-a bridegroom , "[251-mr. rochester] continued [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; " and in the interim , [I]251-mr. rochester shall [myself]251-mr. rochester look out for employment and an asylum for [you]0-i . "[251-mr. rochester] " Thank [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]0-i am sorry to give - "[0-i] " Oh , no need to apologise ! [I]251-mr. rochester consider that when [a dependent]4316-a dependent does [her]4316-a dependent duty as well as [you]0-i have done [yours]0-i , [she]4316-a dependent has a sort of claim upon [[her]4316-a dependent employer]1501-her employer for any little assistance [he]1501-her employer can conveniently render [her]4316-a dependent ; indeed [I]251-mr. rochester have already , through [[my]251-mr. rochester future mother - in - law]6145-my future mother - in - law , heard of a place that [I]251-mr. rochester think will suit : it is to undertake the education of [the five daughters of [Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall of Bitternutt Lodge]365-bitternutt lodge]6146-the five daughters of mrs. dionysius o'gall of bitternutt lodge , [Connaught]81-connaught , [Ireland]82-ireland . [You]0-i 'll like [Ireland]82-ireland , [I]251-mr. rochester think : [they]6147-they 're [such warm - hearted people]6148-such warm - hearted people [there]4426-there , [they]6147-they say . "[251-mr. rochester] " It is a long way off , [sir]4374-sir . "[251-mr. rochester] " No matter - [a girl of [your]4374-sir sense]6151-a girl of your sense will not object to the voyage or the distance . "[0-i] " Not the voyage , but the distance : and then [the sea]5042-the sea is a barrier - "[251-mr. rochester] " From what , [Jane]146-jane ? "[251-mr. rochester] " From [England]21-england and from [Thornfield]43-thornfield : and - "[0-i] " Well ? "[251-mr. rochester] " From [YOU]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] [I]0-i said this almost involuntarily , and , with as little sanction of free will , [my]0-i tears gushed out . [I]0-i did not cry so as to be heard , however ; [I]0-i avoided sobbing . The thought of [Mrs. O'Gall]365-bitternutt lodge and [Bitternutt Lodge]365-bitternutt lodge struck cold to [my]0-i heart ; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam , destined , as it seemed , to rush between [me]0-i and [the master at whose side [I]0-i now walked]2745-the master at whose side i now walked , and coldest the remembrance of [the wider ocean]2746-the wider ocean - wealth , caste , custom intervened between [me]0-i and what [I]0-i naturally and inevitably loved . " It is a long way , "[0-i] [I]0-i again said . " It is , to be sure ; and when [you]146-jane get to [Bitternutt Lodge]365-bitternutt lodge , [Connaught]81-connaught , [Ireland]82-ireland , [I]0-i shall never see [you]146-jane again , [Jane]146-jane : that 's morally certain . [I]0-i never go over to [Ireland]82-ireland , not having [myself]0-i much of a fancy for [the country]4525-the country . [We]6155-we have been [good friends]6156-good friends , [Jane]146-jane ; have [we]6155-we not ? "[0-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[2747-i] " And when [friends]1114-friends are on the eve of separation , [they]1114-friends like to spend the little time that remains to [them]1114-friends close to [each other]724-each other . Come ! [we]6155-we 'll talk over the voyage and the parting quietly half - an - hour or so , while the stars enter into their shining life up in heaven yonder : here is the chestnut tree : here is the bench at [its]82-ireland old roots . Come , [we]6155-we will sit there in peace to - night , though [we]6155-we should never more be destined to sit there together . "[2747-i] [He]2747-i seated [me]0-i and [himself]2747-i . " It is a long way to [Ireland]82-ireland , [Janet]265-janet , and [I]2747-i am sorry to send [[my]2747-i little friend]2299-my little friend on such weary travels : but if [I]2747-i ca n't do better , how is it to be helped ? Are [you]0-i anything akin to [me]2747-i , do [you]0-i think , [Jane]146-jane ? "[2747-i] [I]0-i could risk no sort of answer by this time : [my]0-i heart was still . " Because , "[2747-i] [he]2747-i said , " [I]2747-i sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to [you]0-i - especially when [you]0-i are near [me]2747-i , as now : it is as if [I]2747-i had a string somewhere under [my]2747-i left ribs , tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of [your]0-i little frame . And if that boisterous Channel , and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between [us]6161-us , [I]2747-i am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt ; and then [I]2747-i 've a nervous notion [I]2747-i should take to bleeding inwardly . As for [you]0-i , - [you]0-i 'd forget [me]2747-i . "[2747-i] " That [I]2747-i NEVER should , [sir]4374-sir : [You]4374-sir know - "[2747-i] Impossible to proceed . " [Jane]146-jane , do [you]0-i hear that nightingale singing in [the wood]1204-the wood ? Listen ! "[2747-i] In listening , [I]0-i sobbed convulsively ; for [I]0-i could repress what [I]0-i endured no longer ; [I]0-i was obliged to yield , and [I]0-i was shaken from head to foot with acute distress . When [I]0-i did speak , it was only to express an impetuous wish that [I]0-i had never been born , or never come to [Thornfield]43-thornfield . " Because [you]4374-sir are sorry to leave it ? "[0-i] The vehemence of emotion , stirred by grief and love within [me]0-i , was claiming mastery , and struggling for full sway , and asserting a right to predominate , to overcome , to live , rise , and reign at last : yes , - and to speak . " [I]2749-i grieve to leave [Thornfield]43-thornfield : [I]2749-i love [Thornfield:-]366-thornfield:- [I]2749-i love it , because [I]2749-i have lived in [it]366-thornfield:- a full and delightful life , - momentarily at least . [I]2749-i have not been trampled on . [I]2749-i have not been petrified . [I]2749-i have not been buried with inferior minds , and excluded from every glimpse of communion with what is bright and energetic and high . [I]2749-i have talked , face to face , with what [I]2749-i reverence , with what [I]2749-i delight in , - with an original , a vigorous , an expanded mind . [I]2749-i have known [you]2748-you , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; and it strikes [me]2749-i with terror and anguish to feel [I]2749-i absolutely must be torn from [you]2748-you for ever . [I]2749-i see the necessity of departure ; and it is like looking on the necessity of death . "[2749-i] " Where do [you]2748-you see the necessity ? "[2748-you] [he]2748-you asked suddenly . " Where ? [You]2748-you , [sir]4374-sir , have placed it before [me]2748-you . "[2748-you] " In what shape ? "[2749-i] " In the shape of [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ; [a noble and beautiful woman]6165-a noble and beautiful woman , - [[your]2748-you bride]2522-your bride . "[2749-i] " [[My]2749-i bride]2506-my bride ! What bride ? [I]2749-i have [no bride]6168-no bride ! "[2749-i] " But [you]2749-i will have . "[2749-i] " Yes ; - [I]2748-you will ! - [I]2748-you will ! "[2748-you] [He]2748-you set [his]2748-you teeth . " Then [I]2748-you must go:- [you]2748-you have said it [yourself]2748-you . "[2748-you] " No : [you]2748-you must stay ! [I]2749-i swear it - and the oath shall be kept . "[2749-i] " [I]0-i tell [you]2748-you [I]0-i must go ! "[0-i] [I]0-i retorted , roused to something like passion . " Do [you]2748-you think [I]2749-i can stay to become nothing to [you]2748-you ? Do [you]2748-you think [I]2749-i am [an automaton]6169-an automaton ? - a machine without feelings ? and can bear to have [my]2749-i morsel of bread snatched from [my]2749-i lips , and [my]2749-i drop of living water dashed from [my]2749-i cup ? Do [you]2748-you think , because [I]2749-i am poor , obscure , plain , and little , [I]2749-i am soulless and heartless ? [You]2748-you think wrong ! - [I]2749-i have as much soul as [you]2748-you , - and full as much heart ! And if [God]180-mrs. fairfax had gifted [me]2749-i with some beauty and much wealth , [I]2749-i should have made it as hard for [you]2748-you to leave [me]2749-i , as it is now for [me]2749-i to leave [you]2748-you . [I]2749-i am not talking to [you]2748-you now through the medium of custom , conventionalities , nor even of mortal flesh ; - it is [my]2749-i spirit that addresses [your]2748-you spirit ; just as if both had passed through the grave , and [we]6170-we stood at [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's feet , equal , - as [we]6170-we are ! "[2749-i] " As [we]6170-we are ! "[251-mr. rochester] repeated [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester - ' so , " [he]251-mr. rochester added , enclosing [me]251-mr. rochester in [his]251-mr. rochester arms . Gathering [me]251-mr. rochester to [his]251-mr. rochester breast , pressing [his]251-mr. rochester lips on [my]251-mr. rochester lips : ' so , [Jane]146-jane ! "[251-mr. rochester] " Yes , so , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i rejoined : " and yet not so ; for [you]2748-you are [a married man]6172-a married man - or as good as [a married man]6172-a married man , and [we]6170-we d to [one inferior to [you]2748-you]6174-one inferior to you - to one with whom [you]2748-you have no sympathy - whom [I]0-i do not believe [you]2748-you truly love ; for [I]0-i have seen and heard [you]2748-you sneer at [her]6175-her . [I]0-i would scorn such a union : therefore [I]0-i am better than [you]2748-you - let [me]0-i go ! "[0-i] " Where , [Jane]146-jane ? To [Ireland]82-ireland ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Yes - to [Ireland]82-ireland . [I]251-mr. rochester have spoken [my]251-mr. rochester mind , and can go anywhere now . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Jane]146-jane , be still ; do n't struggle so , like a wild frantic bird that is rending its own plumage in its desperation . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester am no bird ; and no net ensnares [me]251-mr. rochester ; [I]251-mr. rochester am [a free human being]6176-a free human being with an independent will , which [I]251-mr. rochester now exert to leave [you]146-jane . "[251-mr. rochester] Another effort set [me]0-i at liberty , and [I]0-i stood erect before [him]2749-i . " And [your]0-i will shall decide [your]0-i destiny , "[2749-i] [he]2749-i said : " [I]2749-i offer [you]0-i [my]2749-i hand , [my]2749-i heart , and a share of all [my]2749-i possessions . "[2749-i] " [You]146-jane play a farce , which [I]251-mr. rochester merely laugh at . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester ask [you]0-i to pass through life at [my]251-mr. rochester side - to be [my]251-mr. rochester second self , and best earthly companion . "[251-mr. rochester] " For that fate [you]0-i have already made [your]0-i choice , and must abide by it . "[2749-i] " [Jane]146-jane , be still a few moments : [you]0-i are over - excited : [I]251-mr. rochester will be still too . "[251-mr. rochester] A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel - walk , and trembled through the boughs of [the chestnut]2750-the chestnut : it wandered away - away - to an indefinite distance - it died . The nightingale 's song was then the only voice of the hour : in listening to it , [I]0-i again wept . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester sat quiet , looking at [me]0-i gently and seriously . Some time passed before [he]251-mr. rochester spoke ; [he]251-mr. rochester at last said - " Come to [my]251-mr. rochester side , [Jane]146-jane , and let [us]6177-us explain and understand [one another]6178-one another . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester will never again come to [your]0-i side : [I]251-mr. rochester am torn away now , and can not return . "[251-mr. rochester] " But , [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i summon [you]146-jane as [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife : it is [you]146-jane only [I]0-i intend to marry . "[0-i] [I]0-i was silent : [I]0-i thought [he]251-mr. rochester mocked [me]0-i . " Come , [Jane]146-jane - come hither . "[251-mr. rochester] " [[Your]251-mr. rochester bride]2522-your bride stands between [us]6181-us . "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester rose , and with a stride reached [me]0-i . " [[My]251-mr. rochester bride]2506-my bride is here , "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester said , again drawing [me]0-i to [him]251-mr. rochester , " because [[my]251-mr. rochester equal]6183-my equal is here , and [my]251-mr. rochester likeness . [Jane]146-jane , will [you]0-i marry [me]251-mr. rochester ? "[251-mr. rochester] Still [I]0-i did not answer , and still [I]0-i writhed [myself]0-i from [his]251-mr. rochester grasp : for [I]0-i was still incredulous . " Do [you]251-mr. rochester doubt [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ? "[0-i] " Entirely . "[251-mr. rochester] " [You]251-mr. rochester have no faith in [me]0-i ? "[0-i] " Not a whit . "[0-i] " Am [I]251-mr. rochester a liar in [your]0-i eyes ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester asked passionately . " [Little sceptic]6184-little sceptic , [you]0-i SHALL be convinced . What love have [I]251-mr. rochester for [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ? None : and that [you]0-i know . What love has [she]297-miss ingram for [me]251-mr. rochester ? None : as [I]251-mr. rochester have taken pains to prove : [I]251-mr. rochester caused a rumour to reach [her]297-miss ingram that [my]251-mr. rochester fortune was not a third of what was supposed , and after that [I]251-mr. rochester presented [myself]251-mr. rochester to see the result ; it was coldness both from [her]297-miss ingram and [[her]297-miss ingram mother]767-her mother . [I]251-mr. rochester would not - [I]251-mr. rochester could not - marry [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram . [You]297-miss ingram - [you]297-miss ingram strange , [you]297-miss ingram almost unearthly thing ! - [I]251-mr. rochester love as [my]251-mr. rochester own flesh . [You]297-miss ingram - poor and obscure , and small and plain as [you]297-miss ingram are - [I]251-mr. rochester entreat to accept [me]251-mr. rochester as [a husband]6186-a husband . "[251-mr. rochester] " What , [me]0-i ! "[0-i] [I]0-i ejaculated , beginning in [his]2751-his earnestness - and especially in [his]2751-his incivility - to credit [his]2751-his sincerity : " [me]0-i who have [not a friend in [the world]484-the world]6187-not a friend in the world but [you]297-miss ingram - if [you]297-miss ingram are [[my]0-i friend]4521-my friend : not a shilling but what [you]297-miss ingram have given [me]0-i ? "[0-i] " [You]297-miss ingram , [Jane]146-jane , [I]251-mr. rochester must have [you]297-miss ingram for [my]251-mr. rochester own - entirely [my]251-mr. rochester own . Will [you]297-miss ingram be [mine]251-mr. rochester ? Say yes , quickly . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , let [me]251-mr. rochester look at [your]2752-me face : turn to the moonlight . "[251-mr. rochester] " Why ? "[251-mr. rochester] " Because [I]251-mr. rochester want to read [your]2752-me countenance - turn ! "[251-mr. rochester] " There ! [you]297-miss ingram will find it scarcely more legible than a crumpled , scratched page . Read on : only make haste , for [I]2752-me suffer . "[2752-me] [His]2752-me face was very much agitated and very much flushed , and there were strong workings in the features , and strange gleams in the eyes " Oh , [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane torture [me]2752-me ! "[2752-me] [he]2752-me exclaimed . " With that searching and yet faithful and generous look , [you]146-jane torture [me]2752-me ! "[2752-me] " How can [I]251-mr. rochester do that ? If [you]2752-me are true , and [your]2752-me offer real , [my]251-mr. rochester only feelings to [you]2752-me must be gratitude and devotion - they can not torture . "[251-mr. rochester] " Gratitude ! "[2752-me] [he]2752-me ejaculated ; and added wildly - " [Jane]146-jane accept [me]2752-me quickly . Say , [Edward]273-mr. edward - give [me]2752-me [my]2752-me name - [Edward]273-mr. edward - [I]2752-me will marry [you]273-mr. edward . "[2752-me] " Are [you]273-mr. edward in earnest ? Do [you]273-mr. edward truly love [me]251-mr. rochester ? Do [you]273-mr. edward sincerely wish [me]251-mr. rochester to be [[your]273-mr. edward wife]6190-your wife ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester do ; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy [you]273-mr. edward , [I]251-mr. rochester swear it . "[251-mr. rochester] " Then , [sir]4374-sir , [I]2752-me will marry [you]273-mr. edward . "[2752-me] " [Edward]273-mr. edward - [[my]251-mr. rochester little wife]6192-my little wife ! "[251-mr. rochester] " [Dear Edward]367-dear edward ! "[251-mr. rochester] " Come to [me]2753-i - come to [me]2753-i entirely now , "[2753-i] said [he]2753-i ; and added , in [his]2753-i deepest tone , speaking in [my]0-i ear as [his]2753-i cheek was laid on [mine]0-i , " Make [my]2753-i happiness - [I]2753-i will make [yours]0-i . "[2753-i] " God pardon [me]251-mr. rochester ! "[251-mr. rochester] [he]2753-i subjoined ere long ; " and [man]4667-man meddle not with [me]2753-i : [I]2753-i have [her]6194-her , and will hold [her]6194-her . "[2753-i] " There is [no one to meddle]6195-no one to meddle , [sir]4374-sir . [I]2753-i have no kindred to interfere . "[2753-i] " No - that is the best of it , "[2753-i] [he]2753-i said . And if [I]0-i had loved [him]2753-i less [I]0-i should have thought [his]2753-i accent and look of exultation savage ; but , sitting by [him]2753-i , roused from the nightmare of parting - called to the paradise of union - [I]0-i thought only of the bliss given [me]0-i to drink in so abundant a flow . Again and again [he]2753-i said , " Are [you]0-i happy , [Jane]146-jane ? "[2753-i] And again and again [I]0-i answered , " Yes . "[0-i] After which [he]2753-i murmured , " It will atone - it will atone . Have [I]2753-i not found [her]6194-her friendless , and cold , and comfortless ? Will [I]2753-i not guard , and cherish , and solace [her]6194-her ? Is there not love in [my]2753-i heart , and constancy in [my]2753-i resolves ? It will expiate at [[God]180-mrs. fairfax 's tribunal]6197-god 's tribunal . [I]2753-i know [[my]2753-i Maker]6198-my maker sanctions what [I]2753-i do . For [the world]484-the world 's judgment - [I]2753-i wash [my]2753-i hands thereof . For [man]4667-man 's opinion - [I]2753-i defy it . "[2753-i] But what had befallen the night ? The moon was not yet set , and [we]2754-we were all in shadow : [I]0-i could scarcely see [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's face , near as [I]0-i was . And what ailed the chestnut tree ? it writhed and groaned ; while wind roared in the laurel walk , and came sweeping over [us]2754-we . " [We]2754-we must go in , "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : " the weather changes . [I]251-mr. rochester could have sat with [thee]0-i till morning , [Jane]146-jane . "[251-mr. rochester] " And so , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , " could [I]0-i with [you]251-mr. rochester . "[0-i] [I]0-i should have said so , perhaps , but a livid , vivid spark leapt out of a cloud at which [I]0-i was looking , and there was a crack , a crash , and a close rattling peal ; and [I]0-i thought only of hiding [my]0-i dazzled eyes against [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's shoulder . The rain rushed down . [He]251-mr. rochester hurried [me]0-i up [the walk]2756-the walk , through [the grounds]772-the grounds , and into [the house]4322-the house ; but [we]2754-we were quite wet before [we]2754-we could pass the threshold . [He]251-mr. rochester was taking off [my]0-i shawl in [the hall]608-the hall , and shaking the water out of [my]0-i loosened hair , when [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax emerged from [[her]180-mrs. fairfax room]1588-her room . [I]0-i did not observe [her]180-mrs. fairfax at first , nor did [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . The lamp was lit . The clock was on the stroke of twelve . " Hasten to take off [your]0-i wet things , "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester ; " and before [you]0-i go , good - night - good - night , [[my]251-mr. rochester darling]6201-my darling ! "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester kissed [me]0-i repeatedly . When [I]0-i looked up , on leaving [his]251-mr. rochester arms , there stood [the widow]1549-the widow , pale , grave , and amazed . [I]0-i only smiled at [her]180-mrs. fairfax , and ran [upstairs]552-upstairs . " Explanation will do for another time , "[0-i] thought [I.]0-i Still , when [I]0-i reached [[my]0-i chamber]1419-my chamber , [I]0-i felt a pang at the idea [she]180-mrs. fairfax should even temporarily misconstrue what [she]180-mrs. fairfax had seen . But joy soon effaced every other feeling ; and loud as the wind blew , near and deep as the thunder crashed , fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed , cataract - like as the rain fell during a storm of two hours ' duration , [I]0-i experienced no fear and little awe . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester came thrice to [my]0-i door in the course of it , to ask if [I]0-i was safe and tranquil : and that was comfort , that was strength for anything . Before [I]0-i left [my]0-i bed in the morning , [little Adele]259-adele came running in to tell [me]0-i that the great horse - chestnut at the bottom of [the orchard]5934-the orchard had been struck by lightning in the night , and half of it split away . CHAPTER XXIV As [I]0-i rose and dressed , [I]0-i thought over what had happened , and wondered if it were a dream . [I]0-i could not be certain of the reality till [I]0-i had seen [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester again , and heard [him]251-mr. rochester renew [his]251-mr. rochester words of love and promise . While arranging [my]0-i hair , [I]0-i looked at [my]0-i face in the glass , and felt it was no longer plain : there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour ; and [my]0-i eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition , and borrowed beams from the lustrous ripple . [I]0-i had often been unwilling to look at [[my]0-i master]4336-my master , because [I]0-i feared [he]4336-my master could not be pleased at [my]0-i look ; but [I]0-i was sure [I]0-i might lift [my]0-i face to [his]4336-my master now , and not cool [his]4336-my master affection by its expression . [I]0-i took a plain but clean and light summer dress from [my]0-i drawer and put it on : it seemed no attire had ever so well become [me]0-i , because none had [I]0-i ever worn in so blissful a mood . [I]0-i was not surprised , when [I]0-i ran down into [the hall]608-the hall , to see that a brilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night ; and to feel , through the open glass door , the breathing of a fresh and fragrant breeze . [Nature]278-nature must be gladsome when [I]0-i was so happy . [A beggar - woman]2767-a beggar - woman and [[her]2767-a beggar - woman little boy]2768-her little boy - [pale , ragged objects both]2769-pale , ragged objects both - were coming up [the walk]2756-the walk , and [I]0-i ran down and gave [them]2771-them all the money [I]0-i happened to have in [my]0-i purse - some three or four shillings : good or bad , [they]2771-them must partake of [my]0-i jubilee . The rooks cawed , and blither birds sang ; but nothing was so merry or so musical as [my]0-i own rejoicing heart . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax surprised [me]0-i by looking out of the window with a sad countenance , and saying gravely - " [Miss Eyre]146-jane , will [you]0-i come to breakfast ? "[180-mrs. fairfax] During the meal [she]180-mrs. fairfax was quiet and cool : but [I]0-i could not undeceive [her]180-mrs. fairfax then . [I]0-i must wait for [[my]0-i master]4336-my master to give explanations ; and so must [she]180-mrs. fairfax . [I]0-i ate what [I]0-i could , and then [I]0-i hastened [upstairs]552-upstairs . [I]0-i met [Adele]259-adele leaving [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom . " Where are [you]0-i going ? It is time for lessons . "[259-adele] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has sent [me]0-i away to [the nursery]571-the nursery . "[0-i] " Where is [he]4336-my master ? "[259-adele] " In there , "[259-adele] pointing to [the apartment]560-the apartment [she]259-adele had left ; and [I]0-i went in , and there [he]4336-my master stood . " Come and bid [me]4336-my master good - morning , "[4336-my master] said [he]4336-my master . [I]0-i gladly advanced ; and it was not merely a cold word now , or even a shake of the hand that [I]0-i received , but an embrace and a kiss . It seemed natural : it seemed genial to be so well loved , so caressed by [him]4336-my master . " [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane look blooming , and smiling , and pretty , "[4336-my master] said [he]4336-my master : " truly pretty this morning . Is this [my]4336-my master pale , little elf ? Is this [my]4336-my master mustard - seed ? [This little sunny - faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips]6203-this little sunny - faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips ; the satin - smooth hazel hair , and the radiant hazel eyes ? "[4336-my master] [I]0-i had green eyes , [reader]496-reader ; but [you]496-reader must excuse the mistake : for [him]4336-my master they were new - dyed , [I]0-i suppose . " It is [Jane Eyre]146-jane , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " Soon to be [Jane Rochester]368-jane , "[4336-my master] [he]4336-my master added : " in four weeks , [Janet]265-janet ; not a day more . Do [you]146-jane hear that ? "[4336-my master] [I]0-i did , and [I]0-i could not quite comprehend it : it made [me]0-i giddy . The feeling , the announcement sent through [me]0-i , was something stronger than was consistent with joy - something that smote and stunned . It was , [I]0-i think almost fear . " [You]0-i blushed , and now [you]0-i are white , [Jane]368-jane : what is that for ? "[0-i] " Because [you]4336-my master gave [me]2777-i a new name - [Jane Rochester]368-jane ; and it seems so strange . "[2777-i] " Yes , [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester , "[4336-my master] said [he]4336-my master ; " [young Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester - [[Fairfax Rochester]271-fairfax rochester 's girl - bride]6205-fairfax rochester 's girl - bride . "[4336-my master] " It can never be , [sir]4374-sir ; it does not sound likely . [Human beings]754-human beings never enjoy complete happiness in [this world]4664-this world . [I]0-i was not born for a different destiny to the rest of [[my]0-i species]6209-my species : to imagine such a lot befalling [me]0-i is a fairy tale - a day - dream . "[0-i] " Which [I]0-i can and will realise . [I]0-i shall begin to - day . This morning [I]0-i wrote to [[my]0-i banker]6210-my banker in [London]31-london to send [me]0-i certain jewels [he]6210-my banker has in [his]6210-my banker keeping , - heirlooms for [the ladies of [Thornfield]43-thornfield]6211-the ladies of thornfield . In a day or two [I]0-i hope to pour them into [your]6210-my banker lap : for every privilege , every attention shall be [yours]6212-yours that [I]0-i would accord [[a peer]6213-a peer 's daughter]6214-a peer 's daughter , if about to marry [her]6214-a peer 's daughter . "[0-i] " Oh , [sir]4374-sir ! - never rain jewels ! [I]4336-my master do n't like to hear [them]6216-them spoken of . Jewels for [Jane Eyre]146-jane sounds unnatural and strange : [I]4336-my master would rather not have them . "[4336-my master] " [I]0-i will [myself]0-i put the diamond chain round [your]6210-my banker neck , and the circlet on [your]6210-my banker forehead , - which it will become : for nature , at least , has stamped [her]6217-her patent of nobility on this brow , [Jane]146-jane ; and [I]0-i will clasp the bracelets on these fine wrists , and load these fairy - like fingers with rings . "[0-i] " No , no , [sir]4374-sir ! think of other subjects , and speak of other things , and in another strain . Do n't address [me]0-i as if [I]0-i were [a beauty]6219-a beauty ; [I]0-i am [[your]6210-my banker plain , Quakerish governess]6220-your plain , quakerish governess . "[0-i] " [You]6210-my banker are a beauty in [my]4336-my master eyes , and a beauty just after the desire of [my]4336-my master heart , - delicate and aerial . "[4336-my master] " Puny and insignificant , [you]2777-i mean . [You]6210-my banker are dreaming , [sir]4374-sir , - or [you]6210-my banker are sneering . For [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's sake do n't be ironical ! "[0-i] " [I]2777-i will make [the world]484-the world acknowledge [you]0-i a beauty , too , "[2777-i] [he]2777-i went on , while [I]0-i really became uneasy at the strain [he]2777-i had adopted , because [I]0-i felt [he]2777-i was either deluding [himself]2777-i or trying to delude [me]0-i . " [I]2777-i will attire [[my]2777-i Jane]6223-my jane in satin and lace , and [she]6223-my jane shall have roses in [her]6223-my jane hair ; and [I]2777-i will cover the head [I]2777-i love best with a priceless veil . "[2777-i] " And then [you]4374-sir wo n't know [me]2778-i , [sir]4374-sir ; and [I]2778-i shall not be [[your]4374-sir [Jane Eyre]146-jane]6225-your jane eyre any longer , but [an ape in a harlequin]6226-an ape in a harlequin 's jacket - a jay in borrowed plumes . [I]2778-i would as soon see [you]4374-sir , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , tricked out in stage - trappings , as [myself]2778-i clad in a [court - lady]6227-court - lady 's robe ; and [I]2778-i do n't call [you]4374-sir handsome , [sir]4374-sir , though [I]2778-i love [you]4374-sir most dearly : far too dearly to flatter [you]4374-sir . Do n't flatter [me]2778-i . "[2778-i] [He]2778-i pursued [his]2778-i theme , however , without noticing [my]0-i deprecation . " This very day [I]2778-i shall take [you]4374-sir in [the carriage]654-the carriage to [Millcote]44-millcote , and [you]4374-sir must choose some dresses for [yourself]4374-sir . [I]2778-i told [you]4374-sir [we]6230-we shall be married in four weeks . The wedding is to take place quietly , in [the church down below yonder]6231-the church down below yonder ; and then [I]2778-i shall waft [you]4374-sir away at once to [town]5534-town . After a brief stay there , [I]2778-i shall bear [my]2778-i treasure to [regions nearer the sun]6233-regions nearer the sun : to [French vineyards]6234-french vineyards and [Italian plains]6235-italian plains ; and [she]6236-she shall see whatever is famous in old story and in modern record : [she]6236-she shall taste , too , of the life of [cities]6237-cities ; and [she]6236-she shall learn to value [herself]6236-she by just comparison with [others]1041-others . "[2778-i] " Shall [I]2777-i travel ? - and with [you]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir ? "[2777-i] " [You]4374-sir shall sojourn at [Paris]62-paris , [Rome]17-rome , and [Naples]84-naples : at [Florence]85-florence , [Venice]86-venice , and [Vienna]87-vienna : [all the ground [I]0-i have wandered over]6240-all the ground i have wandered over shall be re - trodden by [you]4374-sir : wherever [I]0-i stamped [my]0-i hoof , [your]4374-sir sylph 's foot shall step also . Ten years since , [I]0-i flew through [Europe]75-europe half mad ; with disgust , hate , and rage as [[my]0-i companions]1147-my companions : now [I]0-i shall revisit it healed and cleansed , with [a very angel]6242-a very angel as [my]0-i comforter . "[0-i] [I]0-i laughed at [him]2779-him as [he]2779-him said this . " [I]0-i am not [an angel]1108-an angel , "[0-i] [I]0-i asserted ; " and [I]0-i will not be one till [I]0-i die : [I]0-i will be [myself]0-i . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [you]251-mr. rochester must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of [me]0-i - for [you]251-mr. rochester will not get it , any more than [I]0-i shall get it of [you]251-mr. rochester : which [I]0-i do not at all anticipate . "[0-i] " What do [you]2779-him anticipate of [me]2777-i ? "[2777-i] " For a little while [you]251-mr. rochester will perhaps be as [you]251-mr. rochester are now , - a very little while ; and then [you]251-mr. rochester will turn cool ; and then [you]251-mr. rochester will be capricious ; and then [you]251-mr. rochester will be stern , and [I]2777-i shall have much ado to please [you]251-mr. rochester : but when [you]251-mr. rochester get well used to [me]2777-i , [you]251-mr. rochester will perhaps like [me]2777-i again , - LIKE [me]2777-i , [I]2777-i say , not LOVE [me]2777-i . [I]2777-i suppose [your]251-mr. rochester love will effervesce in six months , or less . [I]2777-i have observed in books written by [men]482-men , that period assigned as the farthest to which [a husband]6186-a husband 's ardour extends . Yet , after all , as [a friend]5395-a friend and companion , [I]2777-i hope never to become quite distasteful to [[my]2777-i dear master]6247-my dear master . "[2777-i] " Distasteful ! and like [you]251-mr. rochester again ! [I]2777-i think [I]2777-i shall like [you]251-mr. rochester again , and yet again : and [I]2777-i will make [you]251-mr. rochester confess [I]2777-i do not only LIKE , but LOVE [you]251-mr. rochester - with truth , fervour , constancy . "[2777-i] " Yet are [you]251-mr. rochester not capricious , [sir]4374-sir ? "[2777-i] " To women who please [me]2777-i only by [their]482-men faces , [I]2777-i am [the very devil]6249-the very devil when [I]2777-i find out [they]482-men have neither souls nor hearts - when [they]482-men open to [me]2777-i a perspective of flatness , triviality , and perhaps imbecility , coarseness , and ill - temper : but to the clear eye and eloquent tongue , to the soul made of fire , and [the character that bends but does not break - at once supple and stable , tractable and consistent]6250-the character that bends but does not break - at once supple and stable , tractable and consistent - [I]2777-i am ever tender and true . "[2777-i] " Had [you]251-mr. rochester ever experience of such a character , [sir]4374-sir ? Did [you]251-mr. rochester ever love [such an one]6252-such an one ? "[2777-i] " [I]2777-i love it now . "[2777-i] " But before [me]2777-i : if [I]2777-i , indeed , in any respect come up to [your]251-mr. rochester difficult standard ? "[2777-i] " [I]2777-i never met [your]251-mr. rochester likeness . [Jane]146-jane , [you]251-mr. rochester please [me]2777-i , and [you]251-mr. rochester master [me]2777-i - [you]251-mr. rochester seem to submit , and [I]2777-i like the sense of pliancy [you]251-mr. rochester impart ; and while [I]2777-i am twining the soft , silken skein round [my]2777-i finger , it sends a thrill up [my]2777-i arm to [my]2777-i heart . [I]2777-i am influenced - conquered ; and the influence is sweeter than [I]2777-i can express ; and the conquest [I]2777-i undergo has a witchery beyond any triumph [I]2777-i can win . Why do [you]251-mr. rochester smile , [Jane]146-jane ? What does that inexplicable , that uncanny turn of countenance mean ? "[2777-i] " [I]2777-i was thinking , [sir]4374-sir [you]251-mr. rochester will excuse the idea ; it was involuntary , [I]2777-i was thinking of [Hercules]369-hercules and [Samson]198-sam with [[their]6254-their charmers]6255-their charmers - "[2777-i] " [You]251-mr. rochester were , [you]251-mr. rochester little elfish - "[2777-i] " Hush , [sir]4374-sir ! [You]251-mr. rochester do n't talk very wisely just now ; any more than [those gentlemen]6257-those gentlemen acted very wisely . However , had [they]6257-those gentlemen been married , [they]6257-those gentlemen would no doubt by [their]6257-those gentlemen severity as [husbands]6258-husbands have made up for [their]6257-those gentlemen softness as [suitors]6259-suitors ; and so will [you]251-mr. rochester , [I]2777-i fear . [I]2777-i wonder how [you]251-mr. rochester will answer [me]2777-i a year hence , should [I]2777-i ask a favour it does not suit [your]251-mr. rochester convenience or pleasure to grant . "[2777-i] " Ask [me]2777-i something now , [Jane]146-jane , - the least thing : [I]2777-i desire to be entreated - "[2777-i] " Indeed [I]2777-i will , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]2777-i have [my]2777-i petition all ready . "[2777-i] " Speak ! But if [you]251-mr. rochester look up and smile with that countenance , [I]2777-i shall swear concession before [I]2777-i know to what , and that will make a fool of [me]2777-i . "[2777-i] " Not at all , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]2777-i ask only this : do n't send for the jewels , and do n't crown [me]2777-i with roses : [you]251-mr. rochester might as well put a border of gold lace round that plain pocket handkerchief [you]251-mr. rochester have there . "[2777-i] " [I]2777-i might as well ' gild refined gold . ' [I]2777-i know it : [your]251-mr. rochester request is granted then - for the time . [I]2777-i will remand the order [I]2777-i despatched to [[my]2777-i banker]6210-my banker . But [you]251-mr. rochester have not yet asked for anything ; [you]251-mr. rochester have prayed a gift to be withdrawn : try again . "[2777-i] " Well then , [sir]4374-sir , have the goodness to gratify [my]2780-he curiosity , which is much piqued on one point . "[2780-he] [He]2780-he looked disturbed . " What ? what ? "[2780-he] [he]2780-he said hastily . " Curiosity is a dangerous petition : it is well [I]2780-he have not taken a vow to accord every request - "[2780-he] " But there can be no danger in complying with this , [sir]4374-sir . "[2777-i] " Utter it , [Jane]146-jane : but [I]2777-i wish that instead of a mere inquiry into , perhaps , a secret , it was a wish for half [my]2777-i estate . "[2777-i] " Now , [King Ahasuerus]370-king ahasuerus ! What do [I]2777-i want with half [[your]251-mr. rochester estate]6265-your estate ? Do [you]251-mr. rochester think [I]2777-i am [a Jew - usurer]6266-a jew - usurer , seeking good investment in land ? [I]2777-i would much rather have all [your]251-mr. rochester confidence . [You]251-mr. rochester will not exclude [me]2777-i from [your]251-mr. rochester confidence if [you]251-mr. rochester admit [me]2777-i to [your]251-mr. rochester heart ? "[2777-i] " [You]251-mr. rochester are welcome to all [my]2777-i confidence that is worth having , [Jane]146-jane ; but for [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's sake , do n't desire a useless burden ! Do n't long for poison - do n't turn out a downright Eve on [my]2777-i hands ! "[2777-i] " Why not , [sir]4374-sir ? [You]251-mr. rochester have just been telling [me]2777-i how much [you]251-mr. rochester liked to be conquered , and how pleasant over - persuasion is to [you]251-mr. rochester . Do n't [you]251-mr. rochester think [I]2777-i had better take advantage of the confession , and begin and coax and entreat - even cry and be sulky if necessary - for the sake of a mere essay of [my]2777-i power ? "[2777-i] " [I]2777-i dare [you]251-mr. rochester to any such experiment . Encroach , presume , and the game is up . "[2777-i] " Is it , [sir]4374-sir ? [You]251-mr. rochester soon give in . How stern [you]251-mr. rochester look now ! [Your]251-mr. rochester eyebrows have become as thick as [my]2777-i finger , and [your]251-mr. rochester forehead resembles what , in some very astonishing poetry , [I]2777-i once saw styled , ' a blue - piled thunderloft . ' That will be [your]251-mr. rochester married look , [sir]4374-sir , [I]2777-i suppose ? "[2777-i] " If that will be [YOUR]251-mr. rochester married look , [I]2777-i , as [a Christian]6270-a christian , will soon give up the notion of consorting with [a mere sprite or salamander]6271-a mere sprite or salamander . But what had [you]4374-sir to ask , thing , - out with it ? "[2777-i] " There , [you]251-mr. rochester are less than civil now ; and [I]2777-i like rudeness a great deal better than flattery . [I]2777-i had rather be [a THING]6272-a thing than [an angel]1108-an angel . This is what [I]2777-i have to ask , - Why did [you]4374-sir take such pains to make [me]2777-i believe [you]4374-sir wished to marry [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ? "[2777-i] " Is that all ? Thank God it is no worse ! "[2777-i] And now [he]2781-i unknit [his]2781-i black brows ; looked down , smiling at [me]0-i , and stroked [my]0-i hair , as if well pleased at seeing a danger averted . " [I]2781-i think [I]2781-i may confess , "[2781-i] [he]2781-i continued , " even although [I]2781-i should make [you]0-i a little indignant , [Jane]146-jane - and [I]2781-i have seen what a fire - spirit [you]0-i can be when [you]0-i are indignant . [You]0-i glowed in the cool moonlight last night , when [you]0-i mutinied against fate , and claimed [your]0-i rank as [[my]2781-i equal]6183-my equal . [Janet]265-janet , by - the - bye , it was [you]0-i who made [me]2781-i the offer . "[2781-i] " Of course [I]2777-i did . But to the point if [you]0-i please , [sir]4374-sir - [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram ? "[2777-i] " Well , [I]2777-i feigned courtship of [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram , because [I]2777-i wished to render [you]0-i as madly in love with [me]2777-i as [I]2777-i was with [you]0-i ; and [I]2777-i knew jealousy would be the best ally [I]2777-i could call in for the furtherance of that end . "[2777-i] " Excellent ! Now [you]0-i are small - not one whit bigger than the end of [my]2781-i little finger . It was a burning shame and a scandalous disgrace to act in that way . Did [you]0-i think nothing of [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram 's feelings , [sir]4374-sir ? "[2781-i] " [Her]297-miss ingram feelings are concentrated in one - pride ; and that needs humbling . Were [you]0-i jealous , [Jane]146-jane ? "[2777-i] " Never mind , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : it is in no way interesting to [you]0-i to know that . Answer [me]2777-i truly once more . Do [you]0-i think [Miss Ingram]297-miss ingram will not suffer from [your]0-i dishonest coquetry ? Wo n't [she]297-miss ingram feel forsaken and deserted ? "[2777-i] " Impossible ! - when [I]2781-i told [you]0-i how [she]297-miss ingram , on the contrary , deserted [me]2781-i : the idea of [my]2781-i insolvency cooled , or rather extinguished , [her]297-miss ingram flame in a moment . "[2781-i] " [You]0-i have a curious , designing mind , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [I]2777-i am afraid [your]0-i principles on some points are eccentric . "[2777-i] " [My]2777-i principles were never trained , [Jane]146-jane : they may have grown a little awry for want of attention . "[2777-i] " Once again , seriously ; may [I]2781-i enjoy the great good that has been vouchsafed to [me]2781-i , without fearing that [any one else]4384-any one else is suffering the bitter pain [I]2781-i [myself]2781-i felt a while ago ? "[2781-i] " That [you]146-jane may , [[my]0-i good little girl]6278-my good little girl : there is not another being in [the world]484-the world has the same pure love for [me]0-i as [yourself]146-jane - for [I]0-i lay that pleasant unction to [my]0-i soul , [Jane]146-jane , a belief in [your]146-jane affection . "[0-i] [I]0-i turned [my]0-i lips to the hand that lay on [my]0-i shoulder . [I]0-i loved [him]2782-he very much - more than [I]0-i could trust [myself]0-i to say - more than words had power to express . " Ask something more , "[2782-he] [he]2782-he said presently ; " it is [my]2782-he delight to be entreated , and to yield . "[2782-he] [I]0-i was again ready with [my]0-i request . " Communicate [your]146-jane intentions to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [sir]4374-sir : [she]180-mrs. fairfax saw [me]0-i with [you]146-jane last night in [the hall]608-the hall , and [she]180-mrs. fairfax was shocked . Give [her]180-mrs. fairfax some explanation before [I]0-i see [her]180-mrs. fairfax again . It pains [me]0-i to be misjudged by [so good a woman]6282-so good a woman . "[0-i] " Go to [[your]146-jane room]4973-your room , and put on [your]146-jane bonnet , "[2782-he] [he]2782-he replied . " [I]2782-he mean [you]146-jane to accompany [me]2782-he to [Millcote]44-millcote this morning ; and while [you]146-jane prepare for the drive , [I]2782-he will enlighten [the old lady]1406-the old lady 's understanding . Did [she]1406-the old lady think , [Janet]265-janet , [you]265-janet had given [the world]484-the world for love , and considered it well lost ? "[2782-he] " [I]1406-the old lady believe [she]1406-the old lady thought [I]1406-the old lady had forgotten [[my]1406-the old lady station]6286-my station , and [yours]265-janet , [sir]4374-sir . "[1406-the old lady] " Station ! [station]6288-station ! - [[your]265-janet station]6289-your station is in [my]0-i heart , and on the necks of those who would insult [you]265-janet , now or hereafter . - Go . "[0-i] [I]0-i was soon dressed ; and when [I]0-i heard [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester quit [[Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's parlour]1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour , [I]0-i hurried down to [it]1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour . [The old lady]1406-the old lady , had been reading [her]1406-the old lady morning portion of Scripture - the Lesson for the day ; [her]1406-the old lady Bible lay open before [her]1406-the old lady , and [her]1406-the old lady spectacles were upon it . [Her]1406-the old lady occupation , suspended by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's announcement , seemed now forgotten : [her]1406-the old lady eyes , fixed on the blank wall opposite , expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred by unwonted tidings . Seeing [me]0-i , [she]1406-the old lady roused [herself]1406-the old lady : [she]1406-the old lady made a sort of effort to smile , and framed a few words of congratulation ; but the smile expired , and the sentence was abandoned unfinished . [She]1406-the old lady put up [her]1406-the old lady spectacles , shut the Bible , and pushed [her]1406-the old lady chair back from the table . " [I]1406-the old lady feel so astonished , "[1406-the old lady] [she]1406-the old lady began , " [I]1406-the old lady hardly know what to say to [you]0-i , [Miss Eyre]146-jane . [I]1406-the old lady have surely not been dreaming , have [I]1406-the old lady ? Sometimes [I]1406-the old lady half fall asleep when [I]1406-the old lady am sitting alone and fancy things that have never happened . It has seemed to [me]1406-the old lady more than once when [I]1406-the old lady have been in a doze , that [[my]1406-the old lady dear husband]6290-my dear husband , who died fifteen years since , has come in and sat down beside [me]1406-the old lady ; and that [I]1406-the old lady have even heard [him]6290-my dear husband call [me]1406-the old lady by [my]1406-the old lady name , [Alice]371-alice , as [he]6290-my dear husband used to do . Now , can [you]0-i tell [me]1406-the old lady whether it is actually true that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has asked [you]0-i to marry [him]251-mr. rochester ? Do n't laugh at [me]1406-the old lady . But [I]1406-the old lady really thought [he]251-mr. rochester came in [here]4312-here five minutes ago , and said that in a month [you]0-i would be [[his]251-mr. rochester wife]4986-his wife . "[1406-the old lady] " [He]251-mr. rochester has said the same thing to [me]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i replied . " [He]251-mr. rochester has ! Do [you]2785-she believe [him]251-mr. rochester ? Have [you]2785-she accepted [him]251-mr. rochester ? "[0-i] " Yes . "[2785-she] [She]2785-she looked at [me]0-i bewildered . " [I]2785-she could never have thought it . [He]251-mr. rochester is [a proud man]6293-a proud man : [all the Rochesters]6294-all the rochesters were proud : and [[his]251-mr. rochester father]5218-his father , at least , liked money . [He]251-mr. rochester , too , has always been called careful . [He]251-mr. rochester means to marry [you]0-i ? "[2785-she] " [He]251-mr. rochester tells [me]2785-she so . "[2785-she] [She]2785-she surveyed [[my]0-i whole person]2786-my whole person : in [her]2785-she eyes [I]0-i read that [they]2787-they had there found no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma . " It passes [me]2785-she ! "[2785-she] [she]2785-she continued ; " but no doubt , it is true since [you]0-i say so . How it will answer , [I]2785-she can not tell : [I]2785-she really do n't know . Equality of position and fortune is often advisable in such cases ; and there are twenty years of difference in [your]0-i ages . [He]251-mr. rochester might almost be [[your]0-i father]4318-your father . "[2785-she] " No , indeed , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ! "[0-i] exclaimed [I]0-i , nettled ; " [he]251-mr. rochester is nothing like [[my]0-i father]682-my father ! [No one]593-no one , who saw [us]6299-us together , would suppose it for an instant . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester looks as young , and is as young , as [some men at five - and - twenty]6300-some men at five - and - twenty . "[0-i] " Is it really for love [he]251-mr. rochester is going to marry [you]0-i ? "[2785-she] [she]2785-she asked . [I]0-i was so hurt by [her]2785-she coldness and scepticism , that the tears rose to [my]0-i eyes . " [I]1549-the widow am sorry to grieve [you]0-i , "[1549-the widow] pursued [the widow]1549-the widow ; " but [you]0-i are so young , and so little acquainted with [men]482-men , [I]1549-the widow wished to put [you]0-i on [your]0-i guard . It is an old saying that ' all is not gold that glitters ; ' and in this case [I]1549-the widow do fear there will be something found to be different to what either [you]0-i or [I]1549-the widow expect . "[1549-the widow] " Why ? - am [I]0-i [a monster]6302-a monster ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said : " is it impossible that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester should have a sincere affection for [me]0-i ? "[0-i] " No : [you]0-i are very well ; and much improved of late ; and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]1549-the widow daresay , is fond of [you]0-i . [I]1549-the widow have always noticed that [you]0-i were a sort of pet of [his]251-mr. rochester . There are times when , for [your]0-i sake , [I]1549-the widow have been a little uneasy at [his]251-mr. rochester marked preference , and have wished to put [you]0-i on [your]0-i guard : but [I]1549-the widow did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong . [I]1549-the widow knew such an idea would shock , perhaps offend [you]0-i ; and [you]0-i were so discreet , and so thoroughly modest and sensible , [I]1549-the widow hoped [you]0-i might be trusted to protect [yourself]0-i . Last night [I]1549-the widow can not tell [you]0-i what [I]1549-the widow suffered when [I]1549-the widow sought all over [the house]4322-the house , and could find [you]0-i nowhere , nor [the master]540-the master either ; and then , at twelve o'clock , saw [you]0-i come in with [him]251-mr. rochester . "[1549-the widow] " Well , never mind that now , "[0-i] [I]0-i interrupted impatiently ; " it is enough that all was right . "[0-i] " [I]2789-i hope all will be right in the end , "[2789-i] [she]2789-i said : " but believe [me]2789-i , [you]0-i can not be too careful . Try and keep [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester at a distance : distrust [yourself]0-i as well as [him]251-mr. rochester . [Gentlemen in [his]251-mr. rochester station]6305-gentlemen in his station are not accustomed to marry [[their]6305-gentlemen in his station governesses]6306-their governesses . "[2789-i] [I]0-i was growing truly irritated : happily , [Adele]259-adele ran in . " Let [me]259-adele go , - let [me]259-adele go to [Millcote]44-millcote too ! "[259-adele] [she]259-adele cried . " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester wo n't : though there is so much room in [the new carriage]6307-the new carriage . Beg [him]251-mr. rochester to let [me]259-adele go mademoiselle . "[259-adele] " That [I]0-i will , [Adele]259-adele ; "[0-i] and [I]0-i hastened away with [her]259-adele , glad to quit [my]0-i gloomy monitress . [The carriage]654-the carriage was ready : [they]2791-they were bringing [it]654-the carriage round to the front , and [[my]0-i master]4336-my master was on the pavement , [Pilot]267-pilot following [him]4336-my master backwards and forwards . " [Adele]259-adele may accompany [us]2791-they , may [she]259-adele not , [sir]4374-sir ? "[267-pilot] " [I]267-pilot told [her]259-adele no . [I]267-pilot 'll have [no brats]6309-no brats ! - [I]267-pilot 'll have only [you]267-pilot . "[267-pilot] " Do let [her]259-adele go , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , if [you]251-mr. rochester please : it would be better . "[267-pilot] " Not it : [she]259-adele will be a restraint . "[4336-my master] [He]4336-my master was quite peremptory , both in look and voice . The chill of [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax 's warnings , and the damp of [her]180-mrs. fairfax doubts were upon [me]0-i : something of unsubstantiality and uncertainty had beset [my]0-i hopes . [I]0-i half lost the sense of power over [him]4336-my master . [I]0-i was about mechanically to obey [him]4336-my master , without further remonstrance ; but as [he]4336-my master helped [me]0-i into [the carriage]654-the carriage , [he]4336-my master looked at [my]0-i face . " What is the matter ? "[4336-my master] [he]4336-my master asked ; " all the sunshine is gone . Do [you]0-i really wish [the bairn]6310-the bairn to go ? Will it annoy [you]0-i if [she]6310-the bairn is left behind ? "[4336-my master] " [I]4336-my master would far rather [she]6310-the bairn went , [sir]4374-sir . "[4336-my master] " Then off for [your]259-adele bonnet , and back like a flash of lightning ! "[4336-my master] cried [he]4336-my master to [Adele]259-adele . [She]259-adele obeyed [him]4336-my master with what speed [she]259-adele might . " After all , a single morning 's interruption will not matter much , "[4336-my master] said [he]4336-my master , " when [I]4336-my master mean shortly to claim [you]259-adele - [your]259-adele thoughts , conversation , and company - for life . "[4336-my master] [Adele]259-adele , when lifted in , commenced kissing [me]0-i , by way of expressing [her]259-adele gratitude for [my]0-i intercession : [she]259-adele was instantly stowed away into a corner on [the other side of [him]4336-my master]2794-the other side of him . [She]259-adele then peeped round to where [I]0-i sat ; so stern [a neighbour]2795-a neighbour was too restrictive to [him]4336-my master , in [his]4336-my master present fractious mood , [she]259-adele dared whisper no observations , nor ask of [him]4336-my master any information . " Let [her]259-adele come to [me]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i entreated : ' [she]259-adele will , perhaps , trouble [you]4336-my master , [sir]4374-sir : there is plenty of room on this side . " [He]4336-my master handed [her]259-adele over as if [she]259-adele had been a lapdog . "[259-adele] [I]0-i 'll send [her]259-adele to [school]537-school yet , " [he]4336-my master said , but now [he]4336-my master was smiling . [Adele]259-adele heard [him]4336-my master , and asked if [she]259-adele was to go to [school]537-school ' sans mademoiselle ? "[259-adele] " Yes , "[0-i] [he]0-i replied , " absolutely sans mademoiselle ; for [I]0-i am to take mademoiselle to the moon , and there [I]0-i shall seek [a cave in one of [the white valleys among the volcano - tops]6314-the white valleys among the volcano - tops]6313-a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano - tops , and mademoiselle shall live with [me]0-i [there]4426-there , and only [me]0-i . "[0-i] " [She]259-adele will have nothing to eat : [you]0-i will starve [her]259-adele , "[259-adele] observed [Adele]259-adele . " [I]259-adele shall gather [manna]6316-manna for [her]259-adele morning and night : [the plains]6317-the plains and [hillsides in the moon]6318-hillsides in the moon are bleached with manna , [Adele]259-adele . "[259-adele] " [She]259-adele will want to warm [herself]259-adele : what will [she]259-adele do for a fire ? "[0-i] " Fire rises out of [the lunar mountains]6319-the lunar mountains : when [she]259-adele is cold , [I]0-i 'll carry [her]259-adele up to a peak , and lay [her]259-adele down on the edge of a crater . "[0-i] " Oh , qu ' elle y sera mal - peu comfortable ! And [her]259-adele clothes , [they]6320-they will wear out : how can [she]259-adele get new ones ? "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester professed to be puzzled . " [Hem]372-hem ! "[251-mr. rochester] said [he]251-mr. rochester . " What would [you]259-adele do , [Adele]259-adele ? Cudgel [your]259-adele brains for an expedient . How would a white or a pink cloud answer for a gown , do [you]259-adele think ? And one could cut a pretty enough scarf out of a rainbow . "[251-mr. rochester] " [She]259-adele is far better as [she]259-adele is , "[259-adele] concluded [Adele]259-adele , after musing some time : " besides , [she]259-adele would get tired of living with only [you]259-adele in [the moon]6321-the moon . If [I]259-adele were mademoiselle , [I]259-adele would never consent to go with [you]259-adele . "[259-adele] " [She]259-adele has consented : [she]259-adele has pledged [her]259-adele word . "[0-i] " But [you]259-adele ca n't get [her]259-adele [there]4426-there ; there is [no road]6323-no road to [the moon]6321-the moon : it is all air ; and neither [you]259-adele nor [she]259-adele can fly . "[251-mr. rochester] " [Adele]259-adele , look at [that field]6325-that field . "[259-adele] [We]2798-we were now outside [Thornfield]43-thornfield gates , and bowling lightly along [the smooth road]2799-the smooth road to [Millcote]44-millcote , where the dust was well laid by the thunderstorm , and , where the low hedges and lofty timber trees on each side glistened green and rain - refreshed . " In [that field]6325-that field , [Adele]259-adele , [I]2800-i was walking late one evening about a fortnight since - the evening of the day [you]259-adele helped [me]2800-i to make hay in [the orchard meadows]6327-the orchard meadows ; and , as [I]2800-i was tired with raking swaths , [I]2800-i sat down to rest [me]2800-i on a stile ; and there [I]2800-i took out a little book and a pencil , and began to write about a misfortune that befell [me]2800-i long ago , and a wish [I]2800-i had for happy days to come : [I]2800-i was writing away very fast , though daylight was fading from the leaf , when something came up the path and stopped two yards off [me]2800-i . [I]2800-i looked at it . It was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its head . [I]2800-i beckoned it to come near [me]2800-i ; it stood soon at [my]2800-i knee . [I]2800-i never spoke to it , and it never spoke to [me]2800-i , in words ; but [I]2800-i read its eyes , and it read [mine]2800-i ; and [our]6328-our speechless colloquy was to this effect - "[2800-i] [It]2800-i was [a fairy]2801-a fairy , and come from [Elf - land]2802-elf - land , it said ; and [its]2800-i errand was to make [me]0-i happy : [I]0-i must go with [it]2800-i out of [the common world]2803-the common world to [a lonely place]2804-a lonely place - such as [the moon]6321-the moon , for instance - and it nodded its head towards [her]2800-i horn , rising over [Hay - hill]2806-hay - hill : it told [me]0-i of [the alabaster cave]2807-the alabaster cave and silver vale where [we]2808-we might live . [I]0-i said [I]0-i should like to go ; but reminded it , as [you]2809-you did [me]0-i , that [I]0-i had no wings to fly . " ' Oh , ' returned [the fairy]6329-the fairy , ' that does not signify ! Here is a talisman will remove all difficulties ; ' and [she]6329-the fairy held out a pretty gold ring . ' Put it , ' [she]6329-the fairy said , ' on the fourth finger of [my]2809-you left hand , and [I]2809-you am [yours]2809-you , and [you]2809-you are mine ; and [we]2808-we shall leave [earth]478-earth , and make [our]2808-we own heaven yonder . ' [She]6329-the fairy nodded again at the moon . The ring , [Adele]259-adele , is in [my]2809-you breeches - pocket , under the disguise of [a sovereign]6331-a sovereign : but [I]2809-you mean soon to change it to a ring again . "[2809-you] " But what has mademoiselle to do with it ? [I]2811-she do n't care for [the fairy]6329-the fairy : [you]2809-you said it was mademoiselle [you]2809-you would take to [the moon]6321-the moon ? "[2811-she] " [Mademoiselle]255-mademoiselle is [a fairy]2801-a fairy , "[2810-he] [he]2810-he said , whispering mysteriously . Whereupon [I]0-i told [her]2811-she not to mind [his]2810-he badinage ; and [she]2811-she , on [her]2811-she part , evinced a fund of genuine French scepticism : denominating [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester " un vrai menteur , "[2811-she] and assuring [him]2810-he that [she]2811-she made no account whatever of [his]2810-he " contes de fee , "[2811-she] and that " du reste , il n'y avait pas de fees , et quand meme il y en avait : "[2811-she] [she]2811-she was sure [they]2812-they would never appear to [him]2810-he , nor ever give [him]2810-he rings , or offer to live with [him]2810-he in the moon . The hour spent at [Millcote]44-millcote was a somewhat harassing one to [me]0-i . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester obliged [me]0-i to go to [a certain silk warehouse]2813-a certain silk warehouse : there [I]0-i was ordered to choose half - a - dozen dresses . [I]0-i hated the business , [I]0-i begged leave to defer it : no - it should be gone through with now . By dint of entreaties expressed in energetic whispers , [I]0-i reduced the half - dozen to two : these however , [he]2810-he vowed [he]2810-he would select [himself]2810-he . With anxiety [I]0-i watched [his]2810-he eye rove over [the gay stores]2814-the gay stores : [he]2810-he fixed on a rich silk of the most brilliant amethyst dye , and a superb pink satin . [I]0-i told [him]2810-he in a new series of whispers , that [he]2810-he might as well buy [me]0-i a gold gown and a silver bonnet at once : [I]0-i should certainly never venture to wear [his]2810-he choice . With infinite difficulty , for [he]2810-he was stubborn as a stone , [I]0-i persuaded [him]2810-he to make an exchange in favour of a sober black satin and pearl - grey silk . " It might pass for the present , "[2810-he] [he]2810-he said ; " but [he]2810-he would yet see [me]2810-he glittering like a parterre . "[2810-he] Glad was [I]0-i to get [him]2810-he out of [the silk warehouse]2815-the silk warehouse , and then out of [a jewellers shop]2816-a jewellers shop : the more [he]2810-he bought [me]0-i , the more [my]0-i cheek burned with a sense of annoyance and degradation . As [we]2817-we re - entered [the carriage]654-the carriage , and [I]0-i sat back feverish and fagged , [I]0-i remembered what , in the hurry of events , dark and bright , [I]0-i had wholly forgotten - the letter of [[my]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle , [John Eyre]360-john , to [Mrs. Reed]156-mrs. reed : [his]4421-my uncle intention to adopt [me]0-i and make [me]0-i [[his]4421-my uncle legatee]2820-his legatee . " It would , indeed , be a relief , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought , " if [I]0-i had ever so small an independency ; [I]0-i never can bear being dressed like a doll by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , or sitting like [a second Danae]6335-a second danae with the golden shower falling daily round [me]0-i . [I]0-i will write to [Madeira]245-madeira the moment [I]0-i get [home]509-home , and tell [[my]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle [John]360-john [I]0-i am going to be married , and to whom : if [I]0-i had but a prospect of one day bringing [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester an accession of fortune , [I]0-i could better endure to be kept by [him]251-mr. rochester now . "[0-i] And somewhat relieved by this idea which [I]0-i failed not to execute that day , [I]0-i ventured once more to meet [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's and [lover]2822-lover 's eye , which most pertinaciously sought mine , though [I]0-i averted both face and gaze . [He]2823-you smiled ; and [I]0-i thought [his]2823-you smile was such as [a sultan]2824-a sultan might , in a blissful and fond moment , bestow on [a slave [his]2824-a sultan gold and gems had enriched]2825-a slave his gold and gems had enriched : [I]0-i crushed [his]2823-you hand , which was ever hunting [mine]0-i , vigorously , and thrust it back to [him]2823-you red with the passionate pressure . " [You]2823-you need not look in that way , "[0-i] [I]0-i said ; " if [you]2823-you do , [I]0-i 'll wear nothing but [my]0-i old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter . [I]0-i 'll be married in this lilac gingham : [you]2823-you may make a dressing - gown for [yourself]2823-you out of the pearl - grey silk , and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black satin . "[0-i] [He]2823-you chuckled ; [he]2823-you rubbed [his]2823-you hands . " Oh , it is rich to see and hear [her]6338-she ? "[2823-you] [he]2823-you exclaimed . " Is [she]6338-she original ? Is [she]6338-she piquant ? [I]2823-you would not exchange [this one little English girl]6339-this one little english girl for [the Grand Turk]6340-the grand turk 's whole seraglio , gazelle - eyes , houri forms , and all ! "[2823-you] The Eastern allusion bit [me]0-i again . " [I]0-i 'll not stand [you]2823-you an inch in the stead of [a seraglio]6341-a seraglio , "[0-i] [I]0-i said ; ' so do n't consider [me]0-i [an equivalent for one]2826-an equivalent for one . If [you]2823-you have a fancy for anything in that line , away with [you]2823-you , [sir]4374-sir , to [the bazaars of [Stamboul]89-stamboul]2828-the bazaars of stamboul without delay , and lay out in extensive slave - purchases some of that spare cash [you]2823-you seem at a loss to spend satisfactorily here . " "[2823-you] And what will [you]2823-you do , [Janet]265-janet , while [I]0-i am bargaining for so many tons of flesh and such an assortment of black eyes ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i 'll be preparing [myself]0-i to go out as [a missionary]2829-a missionary to preach liberty to [them]2830-them that are enslaved - [[your]2823-you harem inmates]2831-your harem inmates amongst the rest . [I]0-i 'll get admitted [there]4426-there , and [I]0-i 'll stir up mutiny ; and [you]2823-you , three - tailed bashaw as [you]2823-you are , [sir]4374-sir , shall in a trice find [yourself]2823-you fettered amongst [our]2834-our hands : nor will [I]0-i , for one , consent to cut [your]2823-you bonds till [you]2823-you have signed a charter , the most liberal [that despot ever yet conferred]2835-that despot ever yet conferred . " "[0-i] [I]0-i would consent to be at [your]2823-you mercy , [Jane]146-jane . " "[146-jane] [I]0-i would have no mercy , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , if [you]2823-you supplicated for it with an eye like that . While [you]2823-you looked so , [I]0-i should be certain that whatever charter [you]2823-you might grant under coercion , [your]2823-you first act , when released , would be to violate its conditions . " "[2823-you] Why , [Jane]146-jane , what would [you]2823-you have ? [I]0-i fear [you]2823-you will compel [me]0-i to go through a private marriage ceremony , besides that performed at the altar . [You]2823-you will stipulate , [I]0-i see , for peculiar terms - what will they be ? " "[2823-you] [I]0-i only want an easy mind , [sir]4374-sir ; not crushed by crowded obligations . Do [you]2823-you remember what [you]2823-you said of [Celine Varens]281-celine ? - of the diamonds , the cashmeres [you]2823-you gave [her]281-celine ? [I]0-i will not be [your]2823-you English Celine [Varens]281-celine . [I]0-i shall continue to act as [[Adele]259-adele 's governess]2837-adele 's governess ; by that [I]0-i shall earn [my]0-i board and lodging , and thirty pounds a year besides . [I]0-i 'll furnish [my]0-i own wardrobe out of that money , and [you]2823-you shall give [me]0-i nothing but - " "[2823-you] Well , but what ? " "[2823-you] [Your]2823-you regard ; and if [I]0-i give [you]2823-you [mine]0-i in return , that debt will be quit . " "[2823-you] Well , for cool native impudence and pure innate pride , [you]2823-you have n't [[your]2823-you equal]5288-your equal , " said [he]0-i . [We]6342-we were now approaching [Thornfield]43-thornfield . "[2823-you] Will it please [you]2823-you to dine with [me]0-i to - day ? " [he]0-i asked , as [we]6342-we re - entered the gates . "[2823-you] No , thank [you]2823-you , [sir]4374-sir . " "[2823-you] And what for , ' no , thank [you]2823-you ? ' if [one]4415-one may inquire . " "[0-i] [I]0-i never have dined with [you]2823-you , [sir]4374-sir : and [I]0-i see no reason why [I]0-i should now : till - " "[0-i] Till what ? [You]2823-you delight in half - phrases . " "[2823-you] Till [I]0-i ca n't help it . " "[0-i] Do [you]2823-you suppose [I]0-i eat like [an ogre or a ghoul]2842-an ogre or a ghoul , that [you]2823-you dread being [the companion of [my]0-i repast]2843-the companion of my repast ? " "[2823-you] [I]0-i have formed no supposition on the subject , [sir]4374-sir ; but [I]0-i want to go on as usual for another month . " "[2823-you] [You]2823-you will give up [your]2823-you governessing slavery at once . " "[2823-you] Indeed , begging [your]2823-you pardon , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i shall not . [I]0-i shall just go on with it as usual . [I]0-i shall keep out of [your]2823-you way all day , as [I]0-i have been accustomed to do : [you]2823-you may send for [me]0-i in the evening , when [you]2823-you feel disposed to see [me]0-i , and [I]0-i 'll come then ; but at no other time . " "[0-i] [I]0-i want a smoke , [Jane]146-jane , or a pinch of snuff , to comfort [me]0-i under all this , ' pour [me]0-i donner une contenance , ' as [Adele]259-adele would say ; and unfortunately [I]0-i have neither [my]0-i cigar - case , nor [my]0-i snuff - box . But listen - whisper . It is [your]2823-you time now , [little tyrant]2846-little tyrant , but it will be [mine]0-i presently ; and when once [I]0-i have fairly seized [you]2823-you , to have and to hold , [I]0-i 'll just - figuratively speaking - attach [you]2823-you to a chain like this " touching [his]0-i watch - guard . "[0-i] Yes , [bonny wee thing]2847-bonny wee thing , [I]0-i 'll wear [you]2823-you in [my]0-i bosom , lest [my]0-i jewel [I]0-i should tyne . " [He]0-i said this as [he]0-i helped [me]0-i to alight from [the carriage]654-the carriage , and while [he]0-i afterwards lifted out [Adele]259-adele , [I]0-i entered [the house]4322-the house , and made good [my]0-i retreat [upstairs]552-upstairs . [He]0-i duly summoned [me]0-i to [his]0-i presence in the evening . [I]0-i had prepared an occupation for [him]0-i ; for [I]0-i was determined not to spend the whole time in a tete - e - tete conversation . [I]0-i remembered [his]0-i fine voice ; [I]0-i knew [he]0-i liked to sing - [good singers]6346-good singers generally do . [I]0-i was [no vocalist]6347-no vocalist [myself]0-i , and , in [his]0-i fastidious judgment , [no musician]6348-no musician , either ; but [I]0-i delighted in listening when the performance was good . No sooner had twilight , that hour of romance , began to lower [her]6349-her blue and starry banner over the lattice , than [I]0-i rose , opened the piano , and entreated [him]0-i , for the love of heaven , to give [me]0-i a song . [He]0-i said [I]0-i was [a capricious witch]6350-a capricious witch , and that [he]0-i would rather sing another time ; but [I]0-i averred that no time was like the present . "[0-i] Did [I]0-i like [his]0-i voice ? " [he]0-i asked . "[0-i] Very much . " [I]0-i was not fond of pampering that susceptible vanity of [his]0-i ; but for once , and from motives of expediency , [I]0-i would e'en soothe and stimulate it . "[0-i] Then , [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane must play the accompaniment . " "[146-jane] Very well , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i will try . " [I]2849-a little bungler did try , but was presently swept off the stool and denominated "[2849-a little bungler] [a little bungler]2849-a little bungler . " Being pushed unceremoniously to one side - which was precisely what [I]2849-a little bungler wished - [he]0-i usurped [my]2849-a little bungler place , and proceeded to accompany [himself]0-i : for [he]0-i could play as well as sing . [I]2849-a little bungler hied [me]2849-a little bungler to the window - recess . And while [I]2849-a little bungler sat there and looked out on the still trees and [dim lawn]6351-dim lawn , to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following strain:- "[2849-a little bungler] The truest love that ever heart Felt at its kindled core , Did through each vein , in quickened start , The tide of being pour . " [Her]6352-her coming was [my]0-i hope each day , [Her]6352-her parting was [my]0-i pain ; The chance that did [her]6352-her steps delay Was ice in every vein . "[0-i] [I]0-i dreamed it would be nameless bliss , As [I]0-i loved , loved to be ; And to this object did [I]0-i press As blind as eagerly . " But wide as pathless was the space That lay [our]2851-our lives between , And dangerous as the foamy race Of [ocean - surges green]6353-ocean - surges green . "[0-i] And haunted as a robber - path Through [wilderness or wood]2850-wilderness or wood ; For Might and Right , and Woe and Wrath , Between [our]2851-our spirits stood . " [I]0-i dangers dared ; [I]0-i hindrance scorned [I]0-i omens did defy : Whatever menaced , harassed , warned , [I]0-i passed impetuous by . "[0-i] On sped [my]0-i rainbow , fast as light ; [I]0-i flew as in a dream ; For glorious rose upon [my]0-i sight That child of Shower and Gleam . " Still bright on clouds of suffering dim Shines that soft , solemn joy ; Nor care [I]0-i now , how dense and grim Disasters gather nigh . "[0-i] [I]0-i care not in this moment sweet , Though all [I]0-i have rushed o'er Should come on pinion , strong and fleet , Proclaiming vengeance sore : " Though haughty Hate should strike [me]0-i down , Right , bar approach to [me]0-i , And grinding Might , with furious frown , Swear endless enmity . "[0-i] [[My]0-i love]2852-my love has placed [her]2852-my love little hand With noble faith in [mine]0-i , And vowed that wedlock 's sacred band [Our]2851-our nature shall entwine . " [My]0-i love has sworn , with sealing kiss , With [me]0-i to live - to die ; [I]0-i have at last [my]0-i nameless bliss . As [I]0-i love - loved am [I]0-i ! "[0-i] [He]0-i rose and came towards [me]0-i , and [I]0-i saw [his]0-i face all kindled , and [his]0-i full falcon - eye flashing , and tenderness and passion in every lineament . [I]0-i quailed momentarily - then [I]0-i rallied . Soft scene , daring demonstration , [I]0-i would not have ; and [I]0-i stood in peril of both : a weapon of defence must be prepared - [I]0-i whetted [my]0-i tongue : as [he]0-i reached [me]0-i , [I]0-i asked with asperity , " whom [he]0-i was going to marry now ? "[0-i] " That was a strange question to be put by [[his]0-i darling]6354-his darling [Jane]146-jane . "[0-i] " Indeed ! [I]0-i considered it a very natural and necessary one : [he]0-i had talked of [[his]0-i future wife]6355-his future wife dying with [him]0-i . What did [he]0-i mean by such a pagan idea ? [I]0-i had no intention of dying with [him]0-i - [he]0-i might depend on that . "[0-i] " Oh , all [he]0-i longed , all [he]0-i prayed for , was that [I]0-i might live with [him]0-i ! Death was not for such as [I.]0-i "[0-i] " Indeed it was : [I]0-i had as good a right to die when [my]0-i time came as [he]0-i had : but [I]0-i should bide that time , and not be hurried away in a suttee . "[0-i] " Would [I]0-i forgive [him]2853-he for the selfish idea , and prove [my]0-i pardon by a reconciling kiss ? "[0-i] " No : [I]0-i would rather be excused . "[0-i] Here [I]0-i heard [myself]0-i apostrophised as a " hard little thing ; "[0-i] and it was added , " [any other woman]6356-any other woman would have been melted to marrow at hearing such stanzas crooned in [her]6356-any other woman praise . "[0-i] [I]0-i assured [him]2853-he [I]0-i was naturally hard - very flinty , and that [he]2853-he would often find [me]0-i so ; and that , moreover , [I]0-i was determined to show [him]2853-he divers rugged points in [my]0-i character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed : [he]2853-he should know fully what sort of a bargain [he]2853-he had made , while there was yet time to rescind it . " Would [I]2853-he be quiet and talk rationally ? "[2853-he] " [I]2853-he would be quiet if [he]2853-he liked , and as to talking rationally , [I]2853-he flattered [myself]2853-he [I]2853-he was doing that now . "[2853-he] [He]2853-he fretted , pished , and pshawed . " Very good , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought ; " [you]2853-he may fume and fidget as [you]2853-he please : but this is the best plan to pursue with [you]2853-he , [I]0-i am certain . [I]0-i like [you]2853-he more than [I]0-i can say ; but [I]0-i 'll not sink into a bathos of sentiment : and with this needle of repartee [I]0-i 'll keep [you]2853-he from the edge of [the gulf]6357-the gulf too ; and , moreover , maintain by its pungent aid that distance between [you]2853-he and [myself]0-i most conducive to [our]6358-our real mutual advantage . "[0-i] From less to more , [I]0-i worked [him]2853-he up to considerable irritation ; then , after [he]2853-he had retired , in [dudgeon]90-dudgeon , quite to the other end of [the room]535-the room , [I]0-i got up , and saying , " [I]0-i wish [you]2853-he good - night , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] in [my]0-i natural and wonted respectful manner , [I]0-i slipped out by the side - door and got away . The system thus entered on , [I]0-i pursued during the whole season of probation ; and with the best success . [He]2853-he was kept , to be sure , rather cross and crusty ; but on the whole [I]0-i could see [he]2853-he was excellently entertained , and that a lamb - like submission and turtle - dove sensibility , while fostering [his]2853-he despotism more , would have pleased [his]2853-he judgment , satisfied [his]2853-he common - sense , and even suited [his]2853-he taste less . In [other people]2855-other people 's presence [I]0-i was , as formerly , deferential and quiet ; any other line of conduct being uncalled for : it was only in the evening conferences [I]0-i thus thwarted and afflicted [him]2853-he . [He]2853-he continued to send for [me]0-i punctually the moment the clock struck seven ; though when [I]0-i appeared before [him]2853-he now , [he]2853-he had no such honeyed terms as " love "[2853-he] and " darling "[2853-he] on [his]2853-he lips : the best words at [my]0-i service were " provoking puppet , "[2853-he] " [malicious elf]6360-malicious elf , "[2853-he] ' sprite , " "[2853-he] changeling , " c. For caresses , too , [I]2853-he now got grimaces ; for a pressure of the hand , a pinch on the arm ; for a kiss on the cheek , a severe tweak of the ear . It was all right : at present [I]2853-he decidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [I]2853-he saw , approved [me]2853-he : [her]180-mrs. fairfax anxiety on [my]2853-he account vanished ; therefore [I]2853-he was certain [I]2853-he did well . Meantime , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester affirmed [I]2853-he was wearing [him]2853-he to skin and bone , and threatened awful vengeance for [my]2853-he present conduct at some period fast coming . [I]2853-he laughed in [my]2853-he sleeve at [his]2853-he menaces . "[2853-he] [I]0-i can keep [you]2853-he in reasonable check now , " [I]0-i reflected ; "[0-i] and [I]0-i do n't doubt to be able to do it hereafter : if one expedient loses its virtue , another must be devised . " Yet after all [my]363-mrs. rochester task was not an easy one ; often [I]363-mrs. rochester would rather have pleased than teased [him]2853-he . [[My]363-mrs. rochester future husband]6361-my future husband was becoming to [me]363-mrs. rochester [[my]363-mrs. rochester whole world]6362-my whole world ; and more than [the world]484-the world : almost [my]363-mrs. rochester hope of heaven . [He]2853-he stood between [me]363-mrs. rochester and every thought of religion , as an eclipse intervenes between [man]4667-man and the broad sun . [I]363-mrs. rochester could not , in those days , see [God]180-mrs. fairfax for [His]2853-he creature : of whom [I]363-mrs. rochester had made [an idol]6365-an idol . CHAPTER XXV The month of courtship had wasted : its very last hours were being numbered . There was no putting off the day that advanced - the bridal day ; and all preparations for its arrival were complete . [I]363-mrs. rochester , at least , had nothing more to do : there were [my]363-mrs. rochester trunks , packed , locked , corded , ranged in a row along the wall of [[my]363-mrs. rochester little chamber]6366-my little chamber ; to - morrow , at this time , they would be far on [[their]6367-their road]6368-their road to [London]31-london : and so should [I]363-mrs. rochester D.V. , - or rather , not [I]363-mrs. rochester , but one [Jane Rochester]368-jane , [a person whom as yet [I]363-mrs. rochester knew not]6369-a person whom as yet i knew not . The cards of address alone remained to nail on : they lay , four little squares , in the drawer . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had [himself]251-mr. rochester written the direction , "[363-mrs. rochester] [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester , - [Hotel]2856-hotel , [London]31-london , " on each : [I]363-mrs. rochester could not persuade [myself]363-mrs. rochester to affix them , or to have them affixed . [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester ! [She]363-mrs. rochester did not exist : [she]363-mrs. rochester would not be born till to - morrow , some time after eight o'clock a.m. ; and [I]363-mrs. rochester would wait to be assured [she]363-mrs. rochester had come into [the world]484-the world alive before [I]363-mrs. rochester assigned to [her]363-mrs. rochester all [that property]6371-that property . It was enough that in [yonder closet]6372-yonder closet , opposite [my]363-mrs. rochester dressing - table , garments said to be [hers]363-mrs. rochester had already displaced [my]363-mrs. rochester black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet : for not to [me]363-mrs. rochester appertained that suit of wedding raiment ; the pearl - coloured robe , the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau . [I]363-mrs. rochester shut the closet to conceal the strange , wraith - like apparel it contained ; which , at this evening hour - nine o'clock - gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of [[my]363-mrs. rochester apartment]5848-my apartment . "[363-mrs. rochester] [I]0-i will leave [you]2857-you by [yourself]2857-you , white dream , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] [I]0-i am feverish : [I]0-i hear the wind blowing : [I]0-i will go out of doors and feel it . " It was not only the hurry of preparation that made [me]0-i feverish ; not only the anticipation of the great change - the new life which was to commence to - morrow : both these circumstances had their share , doubtless , in producing that restless , excited mood which hurried [me]0-i forth at this late hour into [the darkening grounds]6374-the darkening grounds : but a third cause influenced [my]0-i mind more than they . [I]0-i had at heart a strange and anxious thought . Something had happened which [I]0-i could not comprehend ; [no one]593-no one knew of or had seen the event but [myself]0-i : it had taken place the preceding night . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester that night was absent from [home]509-home ; nor was [he]251-mr. rochester yet returned : business had called [him]251-mr. rochester to [a small estate of [two or three farms]6378-two or three farms [he]251-mr. rochester possessed thirty miles off]6377-a small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles off - business it was requisite [he]251-mr. rochester should settle in person , previous to [his]251-mr. rochester meditated departure from [England]21-england . [I]0-i waited now [his]251-mr. rochester return ; eager to disburthen [my]0-i mind , and to seek of [him]251-mr. rochester the solution of the enigma that perplexed [me]0-i . Stay till [he]251-mr. rochester comes , [reader]496-reader ; and , when [I]0-i disclose [my]0-i secret to [him]251-mr. rochester , [you]2858-you shall share the confidence . [I]0-i sought [the orchard]5934-the orchard , driven to [its]5934-the orchard shelter by the wind , which all day had blown strong and full from the south , without , however , bringing a speck of rain . Instead of subsiding as night drew on , it seemed to augment its rush and deepen its roar : the trees blew steadfastly one way , never writhing round , and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an hour ; so continuous was the strain bending [their]6381-their branchy heads northward - the clouds drifted from pole to pole , fast following , mass on mass : no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that July day . It was not without a certain wild pleasure [I]0-i ran before the wind , delivering [my]0-i trouble of mind to the measureless air - torrent thundering through space . Descending the laurel walk , [I]0-i faced the wreck of the chestnut - tree ; it stood up black and riven : the trunk , split down the centre , gasped ghastly . The cloven halves were not broken from each other , for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsundered below ; though community of vitality was destroyed - the sap could flow no more : [their]6381-their great boughs on each side were dead , and next winter 's tempests would be sure to fell one or both to [earth]478-earth : as yet , however , they might be said to form one tree - a ruin , but an entire ruin . "[0-i] [You]2858-you did right to hold fast to [each other]724-each other , " [I]2858-you said : as if the monster - splinters were living things , and could hear [me]2858-you . "[2858-you] [I]0-i think , scathed as [you]2858-you look , and charred and scorched , there must be a little sense of life in [you]2858-you yet , rising out of that adhesion at the faithful , honest roots : [you]2858-you will never have green leaves more - never more see birds making nests and singing idyls in [your]2858-you boughs ; the time of pleasure and love is over with [you]2858-you : but [you]2858-you are not desolate : each of [you]2858-you has [a comrade]2860-a comrade to sympathise with [him]2860-a comrade in [his]2860-a comrade decay . " As [I]2860-a comrade looked up at [them]6381-their , the moon appeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled [their]6381-their fissure ; [her]6383-her disk was blood- red and half overcast ; [she]6383-her seemed to throw on [me]2860-a comrade one bewildered , dreary glance , and buried [herself]6383-her again instantly in the deep drift of cloud . The wind fell , for a second , round [Thornfield]43-thornfield ; but far away over wood and water , poured a wild , melancholy wail : it was sad to listen to , and [I]2860-a comrade ran off again . Here and there [I]2860-a comrade strayed through [the orchard]5934-the orchard , gathered up the apples with which the grass round the tree roots was thickly strewn ; then [I]2860-a comrade employed [myself]2860-a comrade in dividing the ripe from the unripe ; [I]2860-a comrade carried them into [the house]4322-the house and put them away in [the store - room]6386-the store - room . Then [I]2860-a comrade repaired to [the library]659-the library to ascertain whether the fire was lit , for , though summer , [I]2860-a comrade knew on such a gloomy evening [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester would like to see a cheerful hearth when [he]251-mr. rochester came in : yes , the fire had been kindled some time , and burnt well . [I]2860-a comrade placed [his]251-mr. rochester arm - chair by the chimney - corner : [I]2860-a comrade wheeled the table near [it]43-thornfield : [I]2860-a comrade let down the curtain , and had the candles brought in ready for lighting . More restless than ever , when [I]2860-a comrade had completed these arrangements [I]2860-a comrade could not sit still , nor even remain in [the house]4322-the house : a little time - piece in [the room]535-the room and the old clock in [the hall]608-the hall simultaneously struck ten . "[2860-a comrade] How late it grows ! " [I]2860-a comrade said . "[2860-a comrade] [I]0-i will run down to the gates : it is moonlight at intervals ; [I]0-i can see a good way on [the road]4892-the road . [He]2862-he may be coming now , and to meet [him]2862-he will save some minutes of suspense . " The wind roared high in the great trees which embowered the gates ; but [the road]4892-the road as far as [I]0-i could see , to the right hand and the left , was all still and solitary : save for the shadows of clouds crossing [it]4892-the road at intervals as the moon looked out , it was but a long pale line , unvaried by one moving speck . A puerile tear dimmed [my]0-i eye while [I]0-i looked - a tear of disappointment and impatience ; ashamed of it , [I]0-i wiped it away . [I]0-i lingered ; the moon shut [herself]6392-her wholly within [[her]6392-her chamber]6393-her chamber , and drew close [her]6392-her curtain of dense cloud : the night grew dark ; rain came driving fast on the gale . "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [he]2862-he would come ! [I]0-i wish [he]2862-he would come ! " [I]2862-he exclaimed , seized with hypochondriac foreboding . [I]2862-he had expected [his]2862-he arrival before tea ; now it was dark : what could keep [him]2862-he ? Had an accident happened ? The event of last night again recurred to [me]2862-he . [I]2862-he interpreted it as a warning of disaster . [I]2862-he feared [my]2862-he hopes were too bright to be realised ; and [I]2862-he had enjoyed so much bliss lately that [I]2862-he imagined [my]2862-he fortune had passed its meridian , and must now decline . "[2862-he] Well , [I]0-i can not return to [the house]4322-the house , " [I]0-i thought ; "[0-i] [I]0-i can not sit by the fireside , while [he]2862-he is abroad in inclement weather : better tire [my]0-i limbs than strain [my]0-i heart ; [I]0-i will go forward and meet [him]2862-he . " [I]0-i set out ; [I]0-i walked fast , but not far : ere [I]0-i had measured a quarter of a mile , [I]0-i heard the tramp of hoofs ; [a horseman]2712-a horseman came on , full gallop ; a dog ran by [his]2712-a horseman side . Away with evil presentiment ! It was [he]2862-he : here [he]2862-he was , mounted on [Mesrour]69-mesrour , followed by [Pilot]267-pilot . [He]2862-he saw [me]0-i ; for the moon had opened a blue field in the sky , and rode in it watery bright : [he]2862-he took [his]2862-he hat off , and waved it round [his]2862-he head . [I]0-i now ran to meet [him]2862-he . "[0-i] There ! " [he]2862-he exclaimed , as [he]2862-he stretched out [his]2862-he hand and bent from the saddle : "[0-i] [You]2864-you ca n't do without [me]0-i , that is evident . Step on [my]0-i boot - toe ; give [me]0-i both hands : mount ! " [I]0-i obeyed : joy made [me]0-i agile : [I]0-i sprang up before [him]2862-he . A hearty kissing [I]0-i got for a welcome , and some boastful triumph , which [I]0-i swallowed as well as [I]0-i could . [He]2862-he checked [himself]2862-he in [his]2862-he exultation to demand , "[0-i] But is there anything the matter , [Janet]265-janet , that [you]265-janet come to meet [me]0-i at such an hour ? Is there anything wrong ? " "[0-i] No , but [I]0-i thought [you]265-janet would never come . [I]0-i could not bear to wait in [the house]4322-the house for [you]265-janet , especially with this rain and wind . " "[0-i] Rain and wind , indeed ! Yes , [you]265-janet are dripping like a mermaid ; pull [my]0-i cloak round [you]265-janet : but [I]0-i think [you]265-janet are feverish , [Jane]368-jane : both [your]265-janet cheek and hand are burning hot . [I]0-i ask again , is there anything the matter ? " Nothing now ; [I]0-i am neither afraid nor unhappy . "[0-i] " Then [you]0-i have been both ? "[0-i] " Rather : but [I]0-i 'll tell [you]265-janet all about it by - and - bye , [sir]4374-sir ; and [I]0-i daresay [you]265-janet will only laugh at [me]0-i for [my]0-i pains . "[0-i] " [I]360-john 'll laugh at [you]265-janet heartily when to - morrow is past ; till then [I]360-john dare not : [my]360-john prize is not certain . This is [you]265-janet , who have been as slippery as an eel this last month , and as thorny as a briar - rose ? [I]360-john could not lay a finger anywhere but [I]360-john was pricked ; and now [I]360-john seem to have gathered up a stray lamb in [my]360-john arms . [You]265-janet wandered out of the fold to seek [[your]265-janet shepherd]6396-your shepherd , did [you]265-janet , [Jane]368-jane ? "[360-john] " [I]2866-i wanted [you]368-jane : but do n't boast . Here [we]6397-we are at [Thornfield]43-thornfield : now let [me]2866-i get down . "[2866-i] [He]2866-i landed [me]0-i on [the pavement]2725-the pavement . As [John]360-john took [his]360-john horse , and [he]360-john followed [me]0-i into [the hall]608-the hall , [he]360-john told [me]0-i to make haste and put something dry on , and then return to [him]360-john in [the library]659-the library ; and [he]360-john stopped [me]0-i , as [I]0-i made for the staircase , to extort a promise that [I]0-i would not be long : nor was [I]0-i long ; in five minutes [I]0-i rejoined [him]360-john . [I]0-i found [him]360-john at supper . " Take a seat and bear [me]0-i company , [Jane]368-jane : please [God]180-mrs. fairfax , it is the last meal but one [you]368-jane will eat at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall for a long time . "[0-i] [I]0-i sat down near [him]360-john , but told [him]360-john [I]0-i could not eat . " Is it because [you]368-jane have the prospect of a journey before [you]368-jane , [Jane]368-jane ? Is it the thoughts of going to [London]31-london that takes away [your]368-jane appetite ? "[0-i] " [I]360-john can not see [my]360-john prospects clearly to - night , [sir]4374-sir ; and [I]360-john hardly know what thoughts [I]360-john have in [my]360-john head . Everything in life seems unreal . "[360-john] " Except [me]360-john : [I]360-john am substantial enough - touch [me]360-john . "[360-john] " [You]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , are the most phantom - like of all : [you]0-i are a mere dream . "[360-john] [He]360-john held out [his]360-john hand , laughing . " Is that a dream ? "[360-john] said [he]360-john , placing it close to [my]0-i eyes . [He]360-john had a rounded , muscular , and vigorous hand , as well as a long , strong arm . " Yes ; though [I]0-i touch it , it is a dream , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , as [I]0-i put it down from before [my]0-i face . " [Sir]4374-sir , have [you]4374-sir finished supper ? "[0-i] " Yes , [Jane]368-jane . "[0-i] [I]0-i rang the bell and ordered away the tray . When [we]2870-we were again alone , [I]0-i stirred the fire , and then took a low seat at [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's knee . " It is near midnight , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " Yes : but remember , [Jane]368-jane , [you]368-jane promised to wake with [me]0-i the night before [my]0-i wedding . "[0-i] " [I]0-i did ; and [I]0-i will keep [my]0-i promise , for an hour or two at least : [I]0-i have no wish to go to bed . "[0-i] " Are all [your]4374-sir arrangements complete ? "[0-i] " All , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " And on [my]4336-my master part likewise , "[4336-my master] [he]4336-my master returned , " [I]4336-my master have settled everything ; and [we]2870-we shall leave [Thornfield]43-thornfield to - morrow , within half - an - hour after [our]2870-we return from [church]949-church . "[4336-my master] " Very well , [sir]4374-sir . "[0-i] " With what an extraordinary smile [you]368-jane uttered that word - ' ve ry well , ' [Jane]368-jane ! What a bright spot of colour [you]368-jane have on each cheek ! and how strangely [your]368-jane eyes glitter ! Are [you]368-jane well ? "[0-i] " [I]4336-my master believe [I]4336-my master am . "[4336-my master] " Believe ! What is the matter ? Tell [me]0-i what [you]368-jane feel . "[0-i] " [I]0-i could not , [sir]4374-sir : no words could tell [you]4374-sir what [I]0-i feel . [I]0-i wish this present hour would never end : who knows with what fate the next may come charged ? "[0-i] " This is hypochondria , [Jane]368-jane . [You]368-jane have been over - excited , or over - fatigued . "[4336-my master] " Do [you]368-jane , [sir]4374-sir , feel calm and happy ? "[0-i] " Calm ? - no : but happy - to the heart 's core . "[0-i] [I]0-i looked up at [him]2872-me to read the signs of bliss in [his]2872-me face : it was ardent and flushed . " Give [me]2872-me [your]368-jane confidence , [Jane]368-jane , "[2872-me] [he]2872-me said : " relieve [your]368-jane mind of any weight that oppresses it , by imparting it to [me]2872-me . What do [you]368-jane fear?- -that [I]2872-me shall not prove [a good husband]6406-a good husband ? "[2872-me] " It is the idea farthest from [my]4336-my master thoughts . "[4336-my master] " Are [you]368-jane apprehensive of the new sphere [you]368-jane are about to enter ? - of the new life into which [you]368-jane are passing ? "[4336-my master] " No . "[0-i] " [You]368-jane puzzle [me]4336-my master , [Jane]368-jane : [your]368-jane look and tone of sorrowful audacity perplex and pain [me]4336-my master . [I]4336-my master want an explanation . "[4336-my master] " Then , [sir]4374-sir , listen . [You]368-jane were from [home]509-home last night ? "[4336-my master] " [I]0-i was : [I]0-i know that ; and [you]368-jane hinted a while ago at something which had happened in [my]0-i absence:- nothing , probably , of consequence ; but , in short , it has disturbed [you]368-jane . Let [me]0-i hear it . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax has said something , perhaps ? or [you]368-jane have overheard [the servants]546-the servants talk ? - [your]368-jane sensitive self - respect has been wounded ? "[0-i] " No , [sir]4374-sir . "[4336-my master] It struck twelve - [I]0-i waited till the time - piece had concluded its silver chime , and the clock its hoarse , vibrating stroke , and then [I]0-i proceeded . " All day yesterday [I]0-i was very busy , and very happy in [my]0-i ceaseless bustle ; for [I]0-i am not , as [you]368-jane seem to think , troubled by any haunting fears about the new sphere , et cetera : [I]0-i think it a glorious thing to have the hope of living with [you]368-jane , because [I]0-i love [you]368-jane . No , [sir]4374-sir , do n't caress [me]0-i now - let [me]0-i talk undisturbed . Yesterday [I]0-i trusted well in [Providence]272-providence , and believed that events were working together for [your]368-jane good and [mine]0-i : it was a fine day , if [you]368-jane recollect - the calmness of the air and sky forbade apprehensions respecting [your]368-jane safety or comfort on [your]368-jane journey . [I]0-i walked a little while on [the pavement]2725-the pavement after tea , thinking of [you]368-jane ; and [I]0-i beheld [you]368-jane in imagination so near [me]0-i , [I]0-i scarcely missed [your]368-jane actual presence . [I]0-i thought of the life that lay before [me]0-i - [YOUR]368-jane life , [sir]4374-sir - an existence more expansive and stirring than [my]0-i own : as much more so as the depths of [the sea]5042-the sea to which [the brook]6415-the brook runs are than [the shallows of [its]6415-the brook own strait channel]6416-the shallows of its own strait channel . [I]0-i wondered why [moralists]6417-moralists call [this world a dreary wilderness]6418-this world a dreary wilderness : for [me]0-i it blossomed like a rose . Just at sunset , the air turned cold and the sky cloudy : [I]0-i went in , [Sophie]256-sophie called [me]0-i [upstairs]552-upstairs to look at [my]0-i wedding - dress , which [they]6420-they had just brought ; and under it in the box [I]0-i found [your]368-jane present - the veil which , in [your]368-jane princely extravagance , [you]368-jane sent for from [London]31-london : resolved , [I]0-i suppose , since [I]0-i would not have jewels , to cheat [me]0-i into accepting something as costly . [I]0-i smiled as [I]0-i unfolded it , and devised how [I]0-i would tease [you]368-jane about [your]368-jane aristocratic tastes , and [your]368-jane efforts to masque [[your]368-jane plebeian bride]6421-your plebeian bride in the attributes of [a peeress]6422-a peeress . [I]0-i though how [I]0-i would carry down to [you]368-jane the square of unembroidered blond [I]0-i had [myself]0-i prepared as a covering for [my]0-i low - born head , and ask if that was not good enough for [a woman who could bring [[her]6423-a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune , beauty , nor connections husband]620-her husband neither fortune , beauty , nor connections]6423-a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune , beauty , nor connections . [I]0-i saw plainly how [you]368-jane would look ; and heard [your]368-jane impetuous republican answers , and [your]368-jane haughty disavowal of any necessity on [your]368-jane part to augment [your]368-jane wealth , or elevate [your]368-jane standing , by marrying either a purse or a coronet . "[0-i] " How well [you]368-jane read [me]251-mr. rochester , [[you]368-jane witch]6425-you witch ! "[251-mr. rochester] interposed [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : " but what did [you]368-jane find in the veil besides its embroidery ? Did [you]368-jane find poison , or a dagger , that [you]368-jane look so mournful now ? "[251-mr. rochester] " No , no , [sir]4374-sir ; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric , [I]0-i found nothing save [Fairfax Rochester]271-fairfax rochester 's pride ; and that did not scare [me]0-i , because [I]0-i am used to the sight of the demon . But , [sir]4374-sir , as it grew dark , the wind rose : it blew yesterday evening , not as it blows now - wild and high - but ' with a sullen , moaning sound ' far more eerie . [I]0-i wished [you]4374-sir were at [home]509-home . [I]0-i came into [this room]570-this room , and the sight of the empty chair and fireless hearth chilled [me]0-i . For some time after [I]0-i went to bed , [I]0-i could not sleep - a sense of anxious excitement distressed [me]0-i . The gale still rising , seemed to [my]0-i ear to muffle a mournful under - sound ; whether in [the house]4322-the house or [abroad]6431-abroad [I]0-i could not at first tell , but it recurred , doubtful yet doleful at every lull ; at last [I]0-i made out it must be some dog howling at a distance . [I]0-i was glad when it ceased . On sleeping , [I]0-i continued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night . [I]0-i continued also the wish to be with [you]4374-sir , and experienced a strange , regretful consciousness of some barrier dividing [us]6432-us . During all [my]0-i first sleep , [I]0-i was following the windings of [an unknown road]6433-an unknown road ; total obscurity environed [me]0-i ; rain pelted [me]0-i ; [I]0-i was burdened with the charge of [a little child]5950-a little child : a very small creature , too young and feeble to walk , and which shivered in [my]0-i cold arms , and wailed piteously in [my]0-i ear . [I]0-i thought , [sir]4374-sir , that [you]4374-sir were on [the road]4892-the road a long way before [me]0-i ; and [I]0-i strained every nerve to overtake [you]4374-sir , and made effort on effort to utter [your]4374-sir name and entreat [you]4374-sir to stop - but [my]0-i movements were fettered , and [my]0-i voice still died away inarticulate ; while [you]4374-sir , [I]0-i felt , withdrew farther and farther every moment . "[0-i] " And these dreams weigh on [your]4374-sir spirits now , [Jane]368-jane , when [I]2873-me am close to [you]4374-sir ? [Little nervous subject]6437-little nervous subject ! Forget visionary woe , and think only of real happiness ! [You]4374-sir say [you]4374-sir love [me]2873-me , [Janet]265-janet : yes - [I]2873-me will not forget that ; and [you]4374-sir can not deny it . THOSE words did not die inarticulate on [your]4374-sir lips . [I]2873-me heard them clear and soft : a thought too solemn perhaps , but sweet as music - ' [I]2873-me think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of living with [you]4374-sir , [Edward]273-mr. edward , because [I]2873-me love [you]4374-sir . ' Do [you]4374-sir love [me]2873-me , [Jane]368-jane ? - repeat it . "[2873-me] " [I]251-mr. rochester do , [sir]4374-sir - [I]251-mr. rochester do , with [my]251-mr. rochester whole heart . "[251-mr. rochester] " Well , "[2873-me] [he]2873-me said , after some minutes ' silence , " it is strange ; but that sentence has penetrated [my]2873-me breast painfully . Why ? [I]2873-me think because [you]4374-sir said it with such an earnest , religious energy , and because [your]4374-sir upward gaze at [me]2873-me now is the very sublime of faith , truth , and devotion : it is too much as if some spirit were near [me]2873-me . Look wicked , [Jane]368-jane : as [you]4374-sir know well how to look : coin one of [your]4374-sir wild , shy , provoking smiles ; tell [me]2873-me [you]4374-sir hate [me]2873-me - tease [me]2873-me , vex [me]2873-me ; do anything but move [me]2873-me : [I]2873-me would rather be incensed than saddened . "[2873-me] " [I]251-mr. rochester will tease [you]4374-sir and vex [you]4374-sir to [your]4374-sir heart 's content , when [I]251-mr. rochester have finished [my]251-mr. rochester tale : but hear [me]251-mr. rochester to the end . "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]0-i thought , [Jane]368-jane , [you]4374-sir had told [me]0-i all . [I]0-i thought [I]0-i had found the source of [your]4374-sir melancholy in a dream . "[0-i] [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head . " What ! is there more ? But [I]0-i will not believe it to be anything important . [I]0-i warn [you]4374-sir of incredulity beforehand . Go on . "[0-i] The disquietude of [his]2874-his air , the somewhat apprehensive impatience of [his]2874-his manner , surprised [me]0-i : but [I]0-i proceeded . " [I]0-i dreamt another dream , [sir]4374-sir : that [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall was [a dreary ruin]6440-a dreary ruin , the retreat of bats and owls . [I]0-i thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell - like wall , very high and very fragile - looking . [I]0-i wandered , on a moonlight night , through the grass - grown enclosure within : here [I]0-i stumbled over a marble hearth , and there over a fallen fragment of cornice . Wrapped up in a shawl , [I]0-i still carried [the unknown little child]6441-the unknown little child : [I]0-i might not lay it down anywhere , however tired were [my]0-i arms - however much its weight impeded [my]0-i progress , [I]0-i must retain it . [I]0-i heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on [the road]4892-the road ; [I]0-i was sure it was [you]6443-you ; and [you]6443-you were departing for many years and for [a distant country]6444-a distant country . [I]0-i climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous haste , eager to catch one glimpse of [you]6443-you from the top : the stones rolled from under [my]0-i feet , the ivy branches [I]0-i grasped gave way , [the child]4339-the child clung round [my]0-i neck in terror , and almost strangled [me]0-i ; at last [I]0-i gained the summit . [I]0-i saw [you]6443-you like a speck on a white track , lessening every moment . The blast blew so strong [I]0-i could not stand . [I]0-i sat down on the narrow ledge ; [I]0-i hushed [the scared infant]6446-the scared infant in [my]0-i lap : [you]6443-you turned an angle of [the road]4892-the road : [I]0-i bent forward to take a last look ; the wall crumbled ; [I]0-i was shaken ; [the child]4339-the child rolled from [my]0-i knee , [I]0-i lost [my]0-i balance , fell , and woke . "[0-i] " Now , [Jane]368-jane , that is all . "[0-i] " All the preface , [sir]4374-sir ; the tale is yet to come . On waking , a gleam dazzled [my]0-i eyes ; [I]0-i thought - Oh , it is daylight ! But [I]0-i was mistaken ; it was only candlelight . [Sophie]256-sophie , [I]0-i supposed , had come in . There was a light in the dressing - table , and the door of [the closet]6450-the closet , where , before going to bed , [I]0-i had hung [my]0-i wedding - dress and veil , stood open ; [I]0-i heard a rustling there . [I]0-i asked , ' [Sophie]256-sophie , what are [you]256-sophie doing ? ' [No one]593-no one answered ; but a form emerged from [the closet]6450-the closet ; it took the light , held it aloft , and surveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau . ' [Sophie]256-sophie ! [Sophie]256-sophie ! ' [I]0-i again cried : and still it was silent . [I]0-i had risen up in bed , [I]0-i bent forward : first surprise , then bewilderment , came over [me]0-i ; and then [my]0-i blood crept cold through [my]0-i veins . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , this was not [Sophie]256-sophie , it was not [Leah]195-bessie , it was not [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax : it was not - no , [I]0-i was sure of it , and am still - it was not even [that strange woman]6453-that strange woman , [Grace Poole]263-grace poole . "[0-i] " It must have been one of [them]6454-them , "[4336-my master] interrupted [[my]0-i master]4336-my master . " No , [sir]4374-sir , [I]4336-my master solemnly assure [you]4374-sir to the contrary . The shape standing before [me]4336-my master had never crossed [my]4336-my master eyes within [the precincts of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall]6456-the precincts of thornfield hall before ; the height , the contour were new to [me]4336-my master . "[4336-my master] " Describe it , [Jane]368-jane . "[0-i] " It seemed , [sir]4374-sir , [a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down [her]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back back]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back . [I]0-i know not what dress [she]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back had on : it was white and straight ; but whether gown , sheet , or shroud , [I]0-i can not tell . "[0-i] " Did [you]4374-sir see [her]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back face ? "[4336-my master] " Not at first . But presently [she]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back took [my]0-i veil from its place ; [she]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back held it up , gazed at it long , and then [she]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back threw it over [her]6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back own head , and turned to the mirror . At that moment [I]0-i saw the reflection of the visage and features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass . "[0-i] " And how were [they]6459-they ? "[0-i] " Fearful and ghastly to [me]4336-my master - oh , [sir]4374-sir , [I]4336-my master never saw a face like it ! [It]6461-it was a discoloured face - it was a savage face . [I]4336-my master wish [I]4336-my master could forget the roll of the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments ! "[4336-my master] " [Ghosts]6462-ghosts are usually pale , [Jane]368-jane . "[0-i] " This , [sir]4374-sir , was purple : the lips were swelled and dark ; the brow furrowed : the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes . Shall [I]0-i tell [you]4374-sir of what it reminded [me]0-i ? "[0-i] " [You]4374-sir may . "[0-i] " Of [the foul German spectre]6464-the foul german spectre - [the Vampyre]6465-the vampyre . "[4336-my master] " Ah ! - what did it do ? "[0-i] " [Sir]4374-sir , [it]6464-the foul german spectre removed [my]0-i veil from [its]6464-the foul german spectre gaunt head , rent it in two parts , and flinging both on the floor , trampled on them . "[0-i] " Afterwards ? "[0-i] " [It]6464-the foul german spectre drew aside the window - curtain and looked out ; perhaps it saw dawn approaching , for , taking the candle , [it]6464-the foul german spectre retreated to the door . Just at [my]4336-my master bedside , [the figure]6467-the figure stopped : the fiery eyes glared upon [me]4336-my master - [she]6467-the figure thrust up [her]6467-the figure candle close to [my]4336-my master face , and extinguished it under [my]4336-my master eyes . [I]4336-my master was aware [her]6467-the figure lurid visage flamed over [mine]4336-my master , and [I]4336-my master lost consciousness : for the second time in [my]4336-my master life - only the second time - [I]4336-my master became insensible from terror . "[4336-my master] " Who was with [you]4336-my master when [you]4336-my master revived ? "[0-i] " [No one]593-no one , [sir]4374-sir , but the broad day . [I]0-i rose , bathed [my]0-i head and face in water , drank a long draught ; felt that though enfeebled [I]0-i was not ill , and determined that to none but [you]4374-sir would [I]0-i impart this vision . Now , [sir]4374-sir , tell [me]0-i who and what [that woman]5442-that woman was ? "[0-i] " The creature of an over - stimulated brain ; that is certain . [I]4336-my master must be careful of [you]4374-sir , [[my]4336-my master treasure]6472-my treasure : nerves like [yours]4374-sir were not made for rough handling . "[4336-my master] " [Sir]4374-sir , depend on it , [my]0-i nerves were not in fault ; the thing was real : the transaction actually took place . "[0-i] " And [your]4336-my master previous dreams , were they real too ? Is [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall a ruin ? Am [I]0-i severed from [you]4374-sir by insuperable obstacles ? Am [I]0-i leaving [you]4374-sir without a tear - without a kiss - without a word ? "[0-i] " Not yet . "[4336-my master] " Am [I]0-i about to do it ? Why , the day is already commenced which is to bind [us]6474-us indissolubly ; and when [we]6474-us are once united , there shall be no recurrence of these mental terrors : [I]0-i guarantee that . "[0-i] " Mental terrors , [sir]4374-sir ! [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could believe them to be only such : [I]0-i wish it more now than ever ; since even [you]4374-sir can not explain to [me]0-i the mystery of [that awful visitant]6476-that awful visitant . "[0-i] " And since [I]0-i can not do it , [Jane]368-jane , it must have been unreal . "[0-i] " But , [sir]4374-sir , when [I]0-i said so to [myself]0-i on rising this morning , and when [I]0-i looked round [the room]535-the room to gather courage and comfort from the cheerful aspect of [each familiar object in full daylight]6479-each familiar object in full daylight , there - on the carpet - [I]0-i saw what gave the distinct lie to [my]0-i hypothesis , - the veil , torn from top to bottom in two halves ! "[0-i] [I]0-i felt [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester start and shudder ; [he]251-mr. rochester hastily flung [his]251-mr. rochester arms round [me]0-i . " Thank [God]180-mrs. fairfax ! "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester exclaimed , " that if anything malignant did come near [you]0-i last night , it was only the veil that was harmed . Oh , to think what might have happened ! "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester drew [his]251-mr. rochester breath short , and strained [me]0-i so close to [him]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i could scarcely pant . After some minutes ' silence , [he]251-mr. rochester continued , cheerily - " Now , [Janet]265-janet , [I]251-mr. rochester 'll explain to [you]265-janet all about it . It was half dream , half reality . [A woman]4399-a woman did , [I]251-mr. rochester doubt not , enter [[your]265-janet room]4973-your room : and [that woman]5442-that woman was - must have been - [Grace Poole]263-grace poole . [You]265-janet call [her]5442-that woman a strange being [yourself]265-janet : from all [you]265-janet know , [you]265-janet have reason so to call [her]5442-that woman - what did [she]5442-that woman do to [me]251-mr. rochester ? what to [Mason]337-mason ? In a state between sleeping and waking , [you]265-janet noticed [her]5442-that woman entrance and [her]5442-that woman actions ; but feverish , almost delirious as [you]265-janet were , [you]265-janet ascribed to [her]5442-that woman a goblin appearance different from [her]5442-that woman own : the long dishevelled hair , the swelled black face , the exaggerated stature , were figments of imagination ; results of nightmare : the spiteful tearing of the veil was real : and it is like [her]5442-that woman . [I]251-mr. rochester see [you]265-janet would ask why [I]251-mr. rochester keep [such a woman in [[my]251-mr. rochester house]4395-my house]6483-such a woman in my house : when [we]6485-we have been married a year and a day , [I]251-mr. rochester will tell [you]265-janet ; but not now . Are [you]265-janet satisfied , [Jane]368-jane ? Do [you]265-janet accept [my]251-mr. rochester solution of the mystery ? "[251-mr. rochester] [I]0-i reflected , and in truth it appeared to [me]0-i the only possible one : satisfied [I]0-i was not , but to please [him]2876-him [I]0-i endeavoured to appear so - relieved , [I]0-i certainly did feel ; so [I]0-i answered [him]2876-him with a contented smile . And now , as it was long past one , [I]0-i prepared to leave [him]2876-him . " Does not [Sophie]256-sophie sleep with [Adele]259-adele in [the nursery]571-the nursery ? "[2876-him] [he]2876-him asked , as [I]0-i lit [my]0-i candle . " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[2876-him] " And there is room enough in [[Adele]259-adele 's little bed]6488-adele 's little bed for [you]0-i . [You]0-i must share it with [her]259-adele to - night , [Jane]368-jane : it is no wonder that the incident [you]0-i have related should make [you]0-i nervous , and [I]2876-him would rather [you]0-i did not sleep alone : promise [me]2876-him to go to [the nursery]571-the nursery . "[2876-him] " [I]2877-i shall be very glad to do so , [sir]4374-sir . "[2877-i] " And fasten the door securely on the inside . Wake [Sophie]256-sophie when [you]0-i go [upstairs]552-upstairs , under pretence of requesting [her]259-adele to rouse [you]0-i in good time to - morrow ; for [you]0-i must be dressed and have finished breakfast before eight . And now , no more sombre thoughts : chase dull care away , [Janet]265-janet . Do n't [you]265-janet hear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen ? and there is no more beating of rain against the window - panes : look here "[2877-i] [he]2877-i lifted up the curtain - " it is a lovely night ! "[2877-i] It was . [Half heaven]2878-half heaven was pure and stainless : the clouds , now trooping before the wind , which had shifted to the west , were filing off eastward in long , silvered columns . The moon shone peacefully . " Well , "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , gazing inquiringly into [my]0-i eyes , " how is [[my]251-mr. rochester [Janet]265-janet]6492-my janet now ? "[251-mr. rochester] " The night is serene , [sir]4374-sir ; and so am [I.]0-i "[251-mr. rochester] " And [you]265-janet will not dream of separation and sorrow to - night ; but of happy love and blissful union . "[0-i] This prediction was but half fulfilled : [I]0-i did not indeed dream of sorrow , but as little did [I]0-i dream of joy ; for [I]0-i never slept at all . With little [Adele]259-adele in [my]0-i arms , [I]0-i watched the slumber of childhood - so tranquil , so passionless , so innocent - and waited for the coming day : all [my]0-i life was awake and astir in [my]0-i frame : and as soon as the sun rose [I]0-i rose too . [I]0-i remember [Adele]259-adele clung to [me]0-i as [I]0-i left [her]259-adele : [I]0-i remember [I]0-i kissed [her]259-adele as [I]0-i loosened [her]259-adele little hands from [my]0-i neck ; and [I]0-i cried over [her]259-adele with strange emotion , and quitted [her]259-adele because [I]0-i feared [my]0-i sobs would break [her]259-adele still sound repose . [She]259-adele seemed the emblem of [my]0-i past life ; and [he]0-i [I]0-i was now to array [myself]0-i to meet , the dread , but adored , type of [my]0-i unknown future day . CHAPTER XXVI [Sophie]256-sophie came at seven to dress [me]0-i : [she]256-sophie was very long indeed in accomplishing [her]256-sophie task ; so long that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , grown , [I]0-i suppose , impatient of [my]0-i delay , sent up to ask why [I]0-i did not come . [She]256-sophie was just fastening [my]0-i veil the plain square of blond after all to [my]0-i hair with a brooch ; [I]0-i hurried from under [her]256-sophie hands as soon as [I]0-i could . " Stop ! "[256-sophie] [she]256-sophie cried in French . " Look at [yourself]0-i in the mirror : [you]0-i have not taken one peep . "[256-sophie] So [I]0-i turned at the door : [I]0-i saw a robed and veiled figure , so unlike [my]0-i usual self that it seemed almost the image of [a stranger]799-a stranger . " [Jane]368-jane ! "[251-mr. rochester] called a voice , and [I]0-i hastened down . [I]0-i was received at the foot of the stairs by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " [Lingerer]373-lingerer ! "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester said , " [my]251-mr. rochester brain is on fire with impatience , and [you]0-i tarry so long ! "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester took [me]0-i into [the dining - room]5079-the dining - room , surveyed [me]0-i keenly all over , pronounced [me]0-i " fair as a lily , and not only the pride of [his]251-mr. rochester life , but the desire of [his]251-mr. rochester eyes , "[0-i] and then telling [me]0-i [he]251-mr. rochester would give [me]0-i but ten minutes to eat some breakfast , [he]251-mr. rochester rang the bell . [One of [[his]251-mr. rochester lately hired servants]2882-his lately hired servants]2881-one of his lately hired servants , [a footman]2883-a footman , answered it . " Is [John]360-john getting [the carriage]654-the carriage ready ? "[2883-a footman] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[251-mr. rochester] " Is the luggage brought down ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [They]6496-they are bringing it down , [sir]4374-sir . "[2883-a footman] " Go [you]0-i to [the church]6498-the church : see if [Mr. Wood]374-wood [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman and [the clerk]6500-the clerk are there : return and tell [me]251-mr. rochester . "[251-mr. rochester] [The church]6498-the church , as [the reader]947-the reader knows , was but just beyond the gates ; [the footman]2212-the footman soon returned . " [Mr. Wood]374-wood is in [the vestry]6501-the vestry , [sir]4374-sir , putting on [his]374-wood surplice . "[2212-the footman] " And [the carriage]654-the carriage ? "[2883-a footman] " The horses are harnessing . "[2883-a footman] " [We]6504-we shall not want it to go to [church]949-church ; but it must be ready the moment [we]6504-we return : all the boxes and luggage arranged and strapped on , and [the coachman]4912-the coachman in [his]4912-the coachman seat . "[2212-the footman] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[2883-a footman] " [Jane]368-jane , are [you]368-jane ready ? "[0-i] [I]0-i rose . There were [no groomsmen]2887-no groomsmen , [no bridesmaids]2888-no bridesmaids , [no relatives to wait for or marshal]2889-no relatives to wait for or marshal : none but [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [I.]0-i [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax stood in [the hall]608-the hall as [we]2891-we passed . [I]0-i would fain have spoken to [her]180-mrs. fairfax , but [my]0-i hand was held by a grasp of iron : [I]0-i was hurried along by a stride [I]0-i could hardly follow ; and to look at [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's face was to feel that not a second of delay would be tolerated for any purpose . [I]0-i wonder what [other bridegroom]2892-other bridegroom ever looked as [he]251-mr. rochester did - so bent up to a purpose , so grimly resolute : or who , under such steadfast brows , ever revealed such flaming and flashing eyes . [I]0-i know not whether the day was fair or foul ; in descending the drive , [I]0-i gazed neither on sky nor [earth]478-earth : [my]0-i heart was with [my]0-i eyes ; and both seemed migrated into [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's frame . [I]0-i wanted to see the invisible thing on which , as [we]2891-we went along , [he]251-mr. rochester appeared to fasten a glance fierce and fell . [I]0-i wanted to feel the thoughts whose force [he]251-mr. rochester seemed breasting and resisting . At [the churchyard]4363-the churchyard wicket [he]251-mr. rochester stopped : [he]251-mr. rochester discovered [I]0-i was quite out of breath . " Am [I]251-mr. rochester cruel in [my]251-mr. rochester love ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester said . " Delay an instant : lean on [me]251-mr. rochester , [Jane]368-jane . "[251-mr. rochester] And now [I]0-i can recall the picture of [the grey old house of [God]180-mrs. fairfax rising calm before [me]0-i]2895-the grey old house of god rising calm before me , of a rook wheeling round the steeple , of a ruddy morning sky beyond . [I]0-i remember something , too , of [the green grave - mounds]2896-the green grave - mounds ; and [I]0-i have not forgotten , either , two figures of [strangers straying amongst the low hillocks]2897-strangers straying amongst the low hillocks and reading the mementoes graven on the few mossy head - stones . [I]0-i noticed [them]2898-they , because , as [they]2898-they saw [us]2899-us , [they]2898-they passed round to the back of [the church]6498-the church ; and [I]0-i doubted not [they]2898-they were going to enter by the side - aisle door and witness the ceremony . By [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester [they]2898-they were not observed ; [he]251-mr. rochester was earnestly looking at [my]0-i face from which the blood had , [I]0-i daresay , momentarily fled : for [I]0-i felt [my]0-i forehead dewy , and [my]0-i cheeks and lips cold . When [I]0-i rallied , which [I]0-i soon did , [he]251-mr. rochester walked gently with [me]0-i up the path to [the porch]2901-the porch . [We]2899-us entered [the quiet and humble temple]2902-the quiet and humble temple ; [the priest]2903-the priest waited in [his]2903-the priest white surplice at the lowly altar , [the clerk]6500-the clerk beside [him]2903-the priest . All was still : two shadows only moved in a remote corner . [My]0-i conjecture had been correct : [the strangers]2905-the strangers had slipped in before [us]2899-us , and [they]2905-the strangers now stood by [the vault of [the Rochesters]253-the rochesters]2906-the vault of the rochesters , [their]2905-the strangers backs towards [us]2899-us , viewing through the rails the old time - stained marble tomb , where [a kneeling angel]2907-a kneeling angel guarded the remains of [Damer de Rochester]375-damer de rochester , slain at [Marston Moor]91-marston moor in the time of the civil wars , and of [Elizabeth]158-eliza , [[his]375-damer de rochester wife]4986-his wife . [Our]2899-us place was taken at the communion rails . Hearing a cautious step behind [me]0-i , [I]0-i glanced over [my]0-i shoulder : [one of [the strangers]2905-the strangers]2909-one of the strangers - [a gentleman]638-a gentleman , evidently - was advancing up [the chancel]2912-the chancel . The service began . The explanation of the intent of matrimony was gone through ; and then [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman came a step further forward , and , bending slightly towards [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , went on . " [I]251-mr. rochester require and charge [you]6508-ye both as [ye]6508-ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment , when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed , that if either of [you]6508-ye know any impediment why [ye]6508-ye may not lawfully be joined together in matrimony , [ye]6508-ye do now confess it ; for be [ye]6508-ye well assured that [so many as are coupled together]6509-so many as are coupled together otherwise than [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's Word doth allow , are not joined together by [God]180-mrs. fairfax , neither is [their]6509-so many as are coupled together matrimony lawful . "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester paused , as the custom is . When is the pause after that sentence ever broken by reply ? Not , perhaps , once in a hundred years . And [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman , who had not lifted [his]6499-the clergyman eyes from [his]6499-the clergyman book , and had held [his]6499-the clergyman breath but for a moment , was proceeding : [his]6499-the clergyman hand was already stretched towards [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , as [his]6499-the clergyman lips unclosed to ask , " Wilt [thou]251-mr. rochester have [this woman]6033-this woman for [[thy]251-mr. rochester wedded wife]6511-thy wedded wife ? "[6499-the clergyman] - when a distinct and near voice said - " The marriage can not go on : [I]6499-the clergyman declare the existence of an impediment . "[6499-the clergyman] [The clergyman]6499-the clergyman looked up at [the speaker]2916-the speaker and stood mute ; [the clerk]6500-the clerk did the same ; [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester moved slightly , as if an earthquake had rolled under [his]251-mr. rochester feet : taking a firmer footing , and not turning [his]251-mr. rochester head or eyes , [he]251-mr. rochester said , " Proceed . "[251-mr. rochester] Profound silence fell when [he]251-mr. rochester had uttered that word , with deep but low intonation . [Presently Mr. Wood]374-wood said - " [I]374-wood can not proceed without some investigation into what has been asserted , and evidence of its truth or falsehood . "[374-wood] " The ceremony is quite broken off , "[2918-the voice behind us] subjoined [the voice behind [us]2919-us]2918-the voice behind us . " [I]374-wood am in a condition to prove [my]374-wood allegation : an insuperable impediment to this marriage exists . "[374-wood] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester heard , but heeded not : [he]251-mr. rochester stood stubborn and rigid , making no movement but to possess [himself]251-mr. rochester of [my]0-i hand . What a hot and strong grasp [he]251-mr. rochester had ! and how like quarried marble was [his]251-mr. rochester pale , firm , massive front at this moment ! How [his]251-mr. rochester eye shone , still watchful , and yet wild beneath ! [Mr. Wood]374-wood seemed at a loss . " What is the nature of the impediment ? "[374-wood] [he]374-wood asked . " Perhaps it may be got over - explained away ? "[374-wood] " Hardly , "[374-wood] was the answer . " [I]2916-the speaker have called it insuperable , and [I]2916-the speaker speak advisedly . "[2916-the speaker] [The speaker]2916-the speaker came forward and leaned on the rails . [He]374-wood continued , uttering each word distinctly , calmly , steadily , but not loudly - " It simply consists in the existence of a previous marriage . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester has [a wife]5665-a wife now living . "[374-wood] [My]0-i nerves vibrated to those low - spoken words as they had never vibrated to thunder - [my]0-i blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt frost or fire ; but [I]0-i was collected , and in no danger of swooning . [I]0-i looked at [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : [I]0-i made [him]251-mr. rochester look at [me]0-i . [His]251-mr. rochester whole face was colourless rock : [his]251-mr. rochester eye was both spark and flint . [He]251-mr. rochester disavowed nothing : [he]251-mr. rochester seemed as if [he]251-mr. rochester would defy all things . Without speaking , without smiling , without seeming to recognise in [me]0-i [a human being]2921-a human being , [he]251-mr. rochester only twined [my]0-i waist with [his]251-mr. rochester arm and riveted [me]0-i to [his]251-mr. rochester side . " Who are [you]0-i ? "[251-mr. rochester] [he]251-mr. rochester asked of [the intruder]2922-the intruder . " [My]251-mr. rochester name is [Briggs]376-mr. briggs , [a solicitor of - Street , [London]31-london]6513-a solicitor of - street , london . "[251-mr. rochester] " And [you]251-mr. rochester would thrust on [me]251-mr. rochester [a wife]5665-a wife ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [I]251-mr. rochester would remind [you]251-mr. rochester of [[your]251-mr. rochester lady]6515-your lady 's existence , [sir]4374-sir , which the law recognises , if [you]251-mr. rochester do not . "[251-mr. rochester] " Favour [me]251-mr. rochester with an account of [her]6515-your lady - with [her]6515-your lady name , [her]6515-your lady parentage , [her]6515-your lady place of abode . "[251-mr. rochester] " Certainly . "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs calmly took a paper from [his]376-mr. briggs pocket , and read out in a sort of official , nasal voice:- " ' [I]376-mr. briggs affirm and can prove that on the 20th of October A.D. - a date of fifteen years back , [Edward Fairfax Rochester]377-edward fairfax rochester , of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , in [the county of -]6517-the county of - , and of [Ferndean Manor]92-ferndean manor , in -shire , [England]21-england , was married to [[my]376-mr. briggs sister]6518-my sister , [Bertha Antoinetta Mason]378-bertha mason , [daughter of [Jonas Mason]379-jonas mason , [merchant]6520-merchant , and of [Antoinetta]378-bertha mason [[his]379-jonas mason wife]4986-his wife , a Creole , at - [church]949-church , Spanish Town , [Jamaica]72-jamaica]6519-daughter of jonas mason , merchant , and of antoinetta his wife , a creole , at - church , spanish town , jamaica . The record of the marriage will be found in the register of [that church]6523-that church - a copy of it is now in [my]376-mr. briggs possession . Signed , [Richard Mason]380-richard mason . ' "[376-mr. briggs] " That - if a genuine document - may prove [I]376-mr. briggs have been married , but it does not prove that [the woman mentioned therein]6524-the woman mentioned therein as [[my]376-mr. briggs wife]2180-my wife is still living . "[376-mr. briggs] " [She]6524-the woman mentioned therein was living three months ago , "[2923-the lawyer] returned [the lawyer]2923-the lawyer . " How do [you]376-mr. briggs know ? "[2923-the lawyer] " [I]376-mr. briggs have [a witness to the fact]6526-a witness to the fact , whose testimony even [you]376-mr. briggs , [sir]4374-sir , will scarcely controvert . "[376-mr. briggs] " Produce [him]251-mr. rochester - or go to hell . "[2923-the lawyer] " [I]251-mr. rochester will produce [him]251-mr. rochester first - [he]251-mr. rochester is on the spot . [Mr. Mason]337-mason , have the goodness to step forward . "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , on hearing the name , set [his]251-mr. rochester teeth ; [he]251-mr. rochester experienced , too , a sort of strong convulsive quiver ; near to [him]251-mr. rochester as [I]0-i was , [I]0-i felt the spasmodic movement of fury or despair run through [his]251-mr. rochester frame . [The second stranger , who had hitherto lingered in the background]2924-the second stranger , who had hitherto lingered in the background , now drew near ; a pale face looked over [the solicitor]2925-the solicitor 's shoulder - yes , it was [Mason]337-mason [himself]337-mason . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester turned and glared at [him]251-mr. rochester . [His]251-mr. rochester eye , as [I]0-i have often said , was a black eye : it had now a tawny , nay , a bloody light in its gloom ; and [his]251-mr. rochester face flushed - olive cheek and hueless forehead received a glow as from spreading , ascending heart - fire : and [he]251-mr. rochester stirred , lifted [his]251-mr. rochester strong arm - [he]251-mr. rochester could have struck [Mason]337-mason , dashed [him]337-mason on [the church]6498-the church - floor , shocked by ruthless blow the breath from [his]251-mr. rochester body - but [Mason]337-mason shrank away , and cried faintly , " [Good God]180-mrs. fairfax ! "[337-mason] [Contempt]381-contempt fell cool on [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester - [his]251-mr. rochester passion died as if a blight had shrivelled it up : [he]251-mr. rochester only asked - " What have [YOU]337-mason to say ? "[251-mr. rochester] An inaudible reply escaped [Mason]337-mason 's white lips . " [The devil]2293-the devil is in it if [you]337-mason can not answer distinctly . [I]251-mr. rochester again demand , what have [you]337-mason to say ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [Sir]4374-sir - [sir]4374-sir , "[6499-the clergyman] interrupted [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman , " do not forget [you]337-mason are in a sacred place . "[6499-the clergyman] Then addressing [Mason]337-mason , [he]6499-the clergyman inquired gently , " Are [you]337-mason aware , [sir]4374-sir , whether or not [[this gentleman]2343-this gentleman 's wife]6533-this gentleman 's wife is still living ? "[6499-the clergyman] " Courage , "[2923-the lawyer] urged [the lawyer]2923-the lawyer , - ' speak out . " "[2923-the lawyer] [She]2929-her is now living at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , " said [Mason]337-mason , in more articulate tones : "[0-i] [I]0-i saw [her]2929-her there last [April]382-april . [I]0-i am [[her]2929-her brother]6047-her brother . " "[0-i] At [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall ! " ejaculated [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman . "[0-i] Impossible ! [I]0-i am [an old resident in [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood]2931-an old resident in this neighbourhood , [sir]4374-sir , and [I]0-i never heard of [a Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall . " [I]363-mrs. rochester saw a grim smile contort [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's lips , and [he]0-i muttered - "[363-mrs. rochester] No , by [God]180-mrs. fairfax ! [I]0-i took care that [none]914-none should hear of it - or of [her]2929-her under that name . " [He]0-i mused - for ten minutes [he]0-i held counsel with [himself]0-i : [he]0-i formed [his]0-i resolve , and announced it - "[0-i] Enough ! all shall bolt out at once , like the bullet from the barrel . [Wood]374-wood , close [your]374-wood book and take off [your]374-wood surplice ; [John Green]383-john green to [the clerk]6500-the clerk , leave [the church]6498-the church : there will be no wedding to - day . " [The man]1375-the man obeyed . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester continued , hardily and recklessly : "[383-john green] Bigamy is an ugly word ! - [I]0-i meant , however , to be [a bigamist]2937-a bigamist ; but fate has out- manoeuvred [me]0-i , or [Providence]272-providence has checked [me]0-i , - perhaps the last . [I]0-i am little better than [a devil]5398-a devil at this moment ; and , as [[my]0-i pastor]2939-my pastor there would tell [me]0-i , deserve no doubt the sternest judgments of [God]180-mrs. fairfax , even to the quenchless fire and deathless worm . [Gentlemen]475-gentlemen , [my]0-i plan is broken up:- what [this lawyer]2941-this lawyer and [[his]2941-this lawyer client]2942-his client say is true : [I]0-i have been married , and [the woman to whom [I]0-i was married]2943-the woman to whom i was married lives ! [You]475-gentlemen say [you]475-gentlemen never heard of [a Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester at [the house up yonder]2944-the house up yonder , [Wood]374-wood ; but [I]0-i daresay [you]475-gentlemen have many a time inclined [your]475-gentlemen ear to gossip about [the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch and ward]2945-the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch and ward . [Some]1182-some have whispered to [you]475-gentlemen that [she]363-mrs. rochester is [[my]0-i bastard half - sister]2947-my bastard half - sister : [some]1182-some , [[my]0-i cast - off mistress]2949-my cast - off mistress . [I]0-i now inform [you]475-gentlemen that [she]363-mrs. rochester is [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife , whom [I]0-i married fifteen years ago , - [Bertha Mason]378-bertha mason by name ; [sister of [this resolute personage]2952-this resolute personage , who is now , with [his]2952-this resolute personage quivering limbs and white cheeks , showing [you]475-gentlemen what a stout heart [men]482-men may bear]2951-sister of this resolute personage , who is now , with his quivering limbs and white cheeks , showing you what a stout heart men may bear . Cheer up , [Dick]350-dick ! - never fear [me]0-i ! - [I]0-i 'd almost as soon strike [a woman]4399-a woman as [you]475-gentlemen . [Bertha Mason]378-bertha mason is mad ; and [she]363-mrs. rochester came of [a mad family]2955-a mad family ; [idiots]2956-idiots and [maniacs through three generations]2957-maniacs through three generations ! [[Her]363-mrs. rochester mother]767-her mother , [the Creole]2959-the creole , was both [a madwoman]2960-a madwoman and [a drunkard]2961-a drunkard ! - as [I]0-i found out after [I]0-i had [we]2962-we d [the daughter]2963-the daughter : for [they]2964-they were silent on family secrets before . [Bertha]378-bertha mason , like [a dutiful child]2965-a dutiful child , copied [[her]363-mrs. rochester parent]6015-her parent in both points . [I]0-i had [a charming partner]2967-a charming partner - pure , wise , modest : [you]2968-you can fancy [I]0-i was [a happy man]2969-a happy man . [I]0-i went through rich scenes ! Oh ! [my]0-i experience has been heavenly , if [you]2968-you only knew it ! But [I]0-i owe [you]2968-you no further explanation . [Briggs]376-mr. briggs , [Wood]374-wood , [Mason]378-bertha mason , [I]0-i invite [you]2968-you all to come up to [the house]4322-the house and visit [[Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole 's patient]2971-mrs. poole 's patient , and [[MY]0-i WIFE]2180-my wife ! [You]2968-you shall see what sort of a being [I]0-i was cheated into espousing , and judge whether or not [I]0-i had a right to break the compact , and seek sympathy with something at least human . [This girl]4724-this girl , " [he]0-i continued , looking at [me]4724-this girl , "[4724-this girl] knew no more than [you]2968-you , [Wood]374-wood , of the disgusting secret : [she]4724-this girl thought all was fair and legal and never dreamt [she]4724-this girl was going to be entrapped into a feigned union with [a defrauded wretch]2974-a defrauded wretch , already bound to [a bad , mad , and embruted partner]2975-a bad , mad , and embruted partner ! Come [all of [you]2968-you]2976-all of you - follow ! " Still holding [me]2968-you fast , [he]0-i left [the church]6498-the church : [the three gentlemen]6537-the three gentlemen came after . At the front door of [the hall]608-the hall [we]6539-we found [the carriage]654-the carriage . "[2968-you] Take it back to [the coach - house]2977-the coach - house , [John]383-john green , " said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester coolly ; "[383-john green] it will not be wanted to - day . " At [our]6539-we entrance , [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [Adele]259-adele , [Sophie]256-sophie , [Leah]195-bessie , advanced to meet and greet [us]6539-we . "[2968-you] To the right - about - every soul ! " cried [the master]540-the master ; "[2968-you] away with [your]2968-you congratulations ! Who wants [them]2978-them ? Not [I]0-i ! - [they]2978-them are fifteen years too late ! " [He]0-i passed on and ascended the stairs , still holding [my]2968-you hand , and still beckoning [the gentlemen]1742-the gentlemen to follow [him]0-i , which [they]1742-the gentlemen did . [We]6539-we mounted the first staircase , passed up [the gallery]1740-the gallery , proceeded to [the third storey]1543-the third storey : the low , black door , opened by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's master - key , admitted [us]6539-we to [the tapestried room]6545-the tapestried room , with [its]6545-the tapestried room great bed and [its]6545-the tapestried room pictorial cabinet . "[2968-you] [You]2968-you know [this place]2979-this place , [Mason]378-bertha mason , " said [[our]6539-we guide]6546-our guide ; ' [she]263-grace poole bit and stabbed [you]2968-you here . "[378-bertha mason] [He]378-bertha mason lifted the hangings from the wall , uncovering the second door : this , too , [he]378-bertha mason opened . In [a room without a window]2980-a room without a window , there burnt [a fire guarded by a high and strong fender]2981-a fire guarded by a high and strong fender , and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a chain . [Grace Poole]263-grace poole bent over the fire , apparently cooking something in a saucepan . In the deep shade , at the farther end of [the room]535-the room , a figure ran backwards and forwards . What it was , whether beast or [human being]2983-human being , one could not , at first sight , tell : it grovelled , seemingly , on all fours ; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal : but it was covered with clothing , and a quantity of dark , grizzled hair , wild as a mane , hid its head and face . " Good - morrow , [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole ! "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " How are [you]287-mrs. poole ? and how is [your]287-mrs. poole charge to - day ? "[251-mr. rochester] " [We]6539-we 're tolerable , [sir]4374-sir , [I]263-grace poole thank [you]4374-sir , "[263-grace poole] replied [Grace]263-grace poole , lifting the boiling mess carefully on to the hob : " rather snappish , but not ' rageous . "[263-grace poole] A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to [her]263-grace poole favourable report : the clothed hyena rose up , and stood tall on its hind - feet . " Ah ! [sir]4374-sir , [she]2984-the maniac sees [you]4374-sir ! "[263-grace poole] exclaimed [Grace]263-grace poole : " [you]4374-sir 'd better not stay . "[263-grace poole] " Only a few moments , [Grace]263-grace poole : [you]4374-sir must allow [me]2984-the maniac a few moments . "[2984-the maniac] " Take care then , [sir]4374-sir ! - for God 's sake , take care ! "[2984-the maniac] [The maniac]2984-the maniac bellowed : [she]2984-the maniac parted [her]2984-the maniac shaggy locks from [her]2984-the maniac visage , and gazed wildly at [[her]2984-the maniac visitors]2985-her visitors . [I]0-i recognised well that purple face , - those bloated features . [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole advanced . " Keep out of the way , "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , thrusting [her]287-mrs. poole aside : ' [she]287-mrs. poole has no knife now , [I]0-i suppose , and [I]0-i 'm on [my]0-i guard . " "[4415-one] [One]4415-one never knows what [she]287-mrs. poole has , [sir]4374-sir : [she]287-mrs. poole is so cunning : it is not in mortal discretion to fathom [her]287-mrs. poole craft . " "[287-mrs. poole] [We]2988-we had better leave [her]287-mrs. poole , " whispered [Mason]378-bertha mason . "[287-mrs. poole] Go to the devil ! " was [[his]378-bertha mason brother - in - law]6550-his brother - in - law 's recommendation . "[384-ware] ' [Ware]384-ware ! " cried [Grace]263-grace poole . [The three gentlemen]6537-the three gentlemen retreated simultaneously . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester flung [me]384-ware behind [him]251-mr. rochester : [the lunatic]6552-the lunatic sprang and grappled [his]251-mr. rochester throat viciously , and laid [her]6552-the lunatic teeth to [his]251-mr. rochester cheek : [they]6537-the three gentlemen struggled . [She]287-mrs. poole was [a big woman]6553-a big woman , in stature almost equalling [[her]287-mrs. poole husband]620-her husband , and corpulent besides : [she]287-mrs. poole showed virile force in the contest - more than once [she]287-mrs. poole almost throttled [him]251-mr. rochester , athletic as [he]251-mr. rochester was . [He]251-mr. rochester could have settled [her]287-mrs. poole with a well - planted blow ; but [he]251-mr. rochester would not strike : [he]251-mr. rochester would only wrestle . At last [he]251-mr. rochester mastered [her]287-mrs. poole arms ; [Grace Poole]263-grace poole gave [him]251-mr. rochester a cord , and [he]251-mr. rochester pinioned them behind [her]287-mrs. poole : with more rope , which was at hand , [he]251-mr. rochester bound [her]287-mrs. poole to a chair . The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the most convulsive plunges . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester then turned to [the spectators]5645-the spectators : [he]251-mr. rochester looked at [them]5645-the spectators with a smile both acrid and desolate . "[384-ware] That is [[MY]0-i WIFE]2180-my wife , " said [he]251-mr. rochester . "[2180-my wife] Such is the sole conjugal embrace [I]0-i am ever to know - such are the endearments which are to solace [my]0-i leisure hours ! And THIS is what [I]0-i wished to have " laying [his]251-mr. rochester hand on [my]2180-my wife shoulder : "[2180-my wife] [this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell]2990-this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell , looking collectedly at the gambols of [a demon]2991-a demon , [I]0-i wanted [her]2990-this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell just as a change after that fierce ragout . [Wood]374-wood and [Briggs]376-mr. briggs , look at the difference ! Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder - this face with that mask - this form with that bulk ; then judge [me]0-i , [priest of the gospel]2992-priest of the gospel and [man of the law]2993-man of the law , and remember with what judgment [ye]2994-you judge [ye]2994-you shall be judged ! Off with [you]2994-you now . [I]0-i must shut up [my]0-i prize . " [We]6556-we all withdrew . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester stayed a moment behind [us]6556-we , to give some further order to [Grace Poole]263-grace poole . [The solicitor]2925-the solicitor addressed [me]2994-you as [he]2925-the solicitor descended the stair . "[2994-you] [You]2994-you , [madam]4457-madam , " said [he]2925-the solicitor , "[2994-you] are cleared from all blame : [[your]2994-you uncle]6081-your uncle will be glad to hear it - if , indeed , [he]6081-your uncle should be still living - when [Mr. Mason]337-mason returns to [Madeira]245-madeira . " "[337-mason] [[My]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle ! What of [him]4421-my uncle ? Do [you]2994-you know [him]4421-my uncle ? " "[337-mason] [Mr. Mason]337-mason does . [Mr. Eyre]245-madeira has been [the Funchal correspondent of [[his]4421-my uncle house]615-his house]2998-the funchal correspondent of his house for some years . When [[your]2994-you uncle]6081-your uncle received [your]2994-you letter intimating the contemplated union between [yourself]2994-you and [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [Mr. Mason]337-mason , who was staying at [Madeira]245-madeira to recruit [his]4421-my uncle health , on [his]4421-my uncle way back to [Jamaica]72-jamaica , happened to be with [him]4421-my uncle . [Mr. Eyre]245-madeira mentioned the intelligence ; for [he]4421-my uncle knew that [[my]0-i client]3001-my client here was acquainted with [a gentleman of the name of Rochester]3002-a gentleman of the name of rochester . [Mr. Mason]337-mason , astonished and distressed as [you]2994-you may suppose , revealed the real state of matters . [[Your]2994-you uncle]6081-your uncle , [I]0-i am sorry to say , is now on a sick bed ; from which , considering the nature of [his]6081-your uncle disease - decline - and the stage it has reached , it is unlikely [he]6081-your uncle will ever rise . [He]6081-your uncle could not then hasten to [England]21-england [himself]6081-your uncle , to extricate [you]2994-you from the snare into which [you]2994-you had fallen , but [he]6081-your uncle implored [Mr. Mason]337-mason to lose no time in taking steps to prevent the false marriage . [He]6081-your uncle referred [him]6081-your uncle to [me]0-i for assistance . [I]0-i used all despatch , and am thankful [I]0-i was not too late : as [you]2994-you , doubtless , must be also . Were [I]0-i not morally certain that [[your]2994-you uncle]6081-your uncle will be dead ere [you]2994-you reach [Madeira]245-madeira , [I]0-i would advise [you]2994-you to accompany [Mr. Mason]337-mason back ; but as it is , [I]0-i think [you]2994-you had better remain in [England]21-england till [you]2994-you can hear further , either from or of [Mr. Eyre]245-madeira . Have [we]3005-we anything else to stay for ? " [he]0-i inquired of [Mr. Mason]337-mason . "[0-i] No , no - let [us]3005-we be gone , " was the anxious reply ; and without waiting to take leave of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [they]3005-we made [their]3005-we exit at [the hall]608-the hall door . [The clergyman]6499-the clergyman stayed to exchange a few sentences , either of admonition or reproof , with [[his]6499-the clergyman haughty parishioner]6560-his haughty parishioner ; this duty done , [he]6499-the clergyman too departed . [I]0-i heard [him]6499-the clergyman go as [I]0-i stood at the half - open door of [[my]0-i own room]4855-my own room , to which [I]0-i had now withdrawn . [The house]4322-the house cleared , [I]0-i shut [myself]0-i in , fastened the bolt that none might intrude , and proceeded - not to weep , not to mourn , [I]0-i was yet too calm for that , but - mechanically to take off the wedding dress , and replace it by the stuff gown [I]0-i had worn yesterday , as [I]0-i thought , for the last time . [I]0-i then sat down : [I]0-i felt weak and tired . [I]0-i leaned [my]0-i arms on a table , and [my]0-i head dropped on them . And now [I]0-i thought : till now [I]0-i had only heard , seen , moved - followed up and down where [I]0-i was led or dragged - watched event rush on event , disclosure open beyond disclosure : but NOW , [I]0-i THOUGHT . The morning had been a quiet morning enough - all except the brief scene with [the lunatic]6552-the lunatic : the transaction in [the church]6498-the church had not been noisy ; there was no explosion of passion , no loud altercation , no dispute , no defiance or challenge , no tears , no sobs : a few words had been spoken , a calmly pronounced objection to the marriage made ; some stern , short questions put by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; answers , explanations given , evidence adduced ; an open admission of the truth had been uttered by [[my]0-i master]4336-my master ; then the living proof had been seen ; [the intruders]6566-the intruders were gone , and all was over . [I]0-i was in [[my]0-i own room]4855-my own room as usual - just [myself]0-i , without obvious change : nothing had smitten [me]0-i , or scathed [me]0-i , or maimed [me]0-i . And yet where was [the Jane Eyre]146-jane of yesterday ? - where was [her]146-jane life ? - where were [her]146-jane prospects ? [Jane Eyre]146-jane , who had been [an ardent , expectant woman]6568-an ardent , expectant woman - almost [a bride]6569-a bride , was [a cold , solitary girl]6570-a cold , solitary girl again : [her]146-jane life was pale ; [her]146-jane prospects were desolate . A Christmas frost had come at midsummer ; a white December storm had whirled over June ; ice glazed the ripe apples , drifts crushed the blowing roses ; on hayfield and [cornfield]6571-cornfield lay a frozen shroud : lanes which last night blushed full of flowers , to - day were pathless with untrodden snow ; and [the woods]662-the woods , which twelve hours since waved leafy and flagrant as groves between [the tropics]6573-the tropics , now spread , waste , wild , and white as pine - forests in [wintry Norway]5-norway . [My]0-i hopes were all dead - struck with a subtle doom , such as , in one night , fell on [all the first - born in [the land of Egypt]6575-the land of egypt]6574-all the first - born in the land of egypt . [I]0-i looked on [my]0-i cherished wishes , yesterday so blooming and glowing ; they lay stark , chill , livid corpses that could never revive . [I]0-i looked at [my]0-i love : that feeling which was [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's - which [he]4336-my master had created ; it shivered in [my]0-i heart , like [a suffering child in a cold cradle]6577-a suffering child in a cold cradle ; sickness and anguish had seized it ; it could not seek [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's arms - it could not derive warmth from [his]251-mr. rochester breast . Oh , never more could it turn to [him]251-mr. rochester ; for faith was blighted - confidence destroyed ! [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was not to [me]0-i what [he]251-mr. rochester had been ; for [he]251-mr. rochester was not what [I]0-i had thought [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i would not ascribe vice to [him]251-mr. rochester ; [I]0-i would not say [he]251-mr. rochester had betrayed [me]0-i ; but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from [his]251-mr. rochester idea , and from [his]251-mr. rochester presence [I]0-i must go : THAT [I]0-i perceived well . When - how - whither , [I]0-i could not yet discern ; but [he]251-mr. rochester [himself]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i doubted not , would hurry [me]0-i from [Thornfield]43-thornfield . Real affection , it seemed , [he]251-mr. rochester could not have for [me]0-i ; it had been only fitful passion : that was balked ; [he]251-mr. rochester would want [me]0-i no more . [I]0-i should fear even to cross [his]251-mr. rochester path now : [my]0-i view must be hateful to [him]251-mr. rochester . Oh , how blind had been [my]0-i eyes ! How weak [my]0-i conduct ! [My]0-i eyes were covered and closed : eddying darkness seemed to swim round [me]0-i , and reflection came in as black and confused a flow . Self - abandoned , relaxed , and effortless , [I]0-i seemed to have laid [me]0-i down in the dried - up bed of [a great river]6578-a great river ; [I]0-i heard a flood loosened in [remote mountains]6579-remote mountains , and felt the torrent come : to rise [I]0-i had no will , to flee [I]0-i had no strength . [I]0-i lay faint , longing to be dead . One idea only still throbbed life - like within [me]0-i - a remembrance of [God]180-mrs. fairfax : it begot an unuttered prayer : these words went wandering up and down in [my]0-i rayless mind , as something that should be whispered , but no energy was found to express them - "[0-i] Be not far from [me]0-i , for trouble is near : there is none to help . " It was near : and as [I]0-i had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it - as [I]0-i had neither joined [my]0-i hands , nor bent [my]0-i knees , nor moved [my]0-i lips - it came : in full heavy swing the torrent poured over [me]0-i . The whole consciousness of [my]0-i life lorn , [my]0-i love lost , [my]0-i hope quenched , [my]0-i faith death - struck , swayed full and mighty above [me]0-i in one sullen mass . That bitter hour can not be described : in truth , "[0-i] the waters came into [my]0-i soul ; [I]0-i sank in deep mire : [I]0-i felt no standing ; [I]0-i came into [deep waters]3006-deep waters ; the floods overflowed [me]0-i . " CHAPTER XXVII Some time in the afternoon [I]0-i raised [my]0-i head , and looking round and seeing the western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall , [I]0-i asked , "[0-i] What am [I]0-i to do ? " But the answer [my]0-i mind gave - "[0-i] Leave [Thornfield]43-thornfield at once " - was so prompt , so dread , that [I]0-i stopped [my]0-i ears . [I]0-i said [I]0-i could not bear such words now . "[0-i] That [I]0-i am not [[Edward Rochester]377-edward fairfax rochester 's bride]3007-edward rochester 's bride is the least part of [my]0-i woe , " [I]0-i alleged : "[0-i] that [I]0-i have wakened out of most glorious dreams , and found them all void and vain , is a horror [I]0-i could bear and master ; but that [I]0-i must leave [him]377-edward fairfax rochester decidedly , instantly , entirely , is intolerable . [I]0-i can not do it . " But , then , a voice within [me]0-i averred that [I]0-i could do it and foretold that [I]0-i should do it . [I]0-i wrestled with [my]0-i own resolution : [I]0-i wanted to be weak that [I]0-i might avoid the awful passage of further suffering [I]0-i saw laid out for [me]0-i ; and [Conscience]385-conscience , turned tyrant , held [Passion]386-passion by the throat , told [her]6580-her tauntingly , [she]6580-her had yet but dipped [her]6580-her dainty foot in the slough , and swore that with that arm of iron [he]6581-he would thrust [her]6580-her down to unsounded depths of agony . "[0-i] Let [me]0-i be torn away , " then [I]0-i cried . "[0-i] Let another help [me]0-i ! " "[914-none] No ; [you]0-i shall tear [yourself]0-i away , [none]914-none shall help [you]0-i : [you]0-i shall [yourself]0-i pluck out [your]0-i right eye ; [yourself]0-i cut off [your]0-i right hand : [your]0-i heart shall be [the victim]3009-the victim , and [you]0-i [the priest]2903-the priest to transfix it . " [I]1114-friends rose up suddenly , terror - struck at the solitude which so ruthless [a judge]6582-a judge haunted , - at the silence which so awful a voice filled . [My]1114-friends head swam as [I]1114-friends stood erect . [I]1114-friends perceived that [I]1114-friends was sickening from excitement and inanition ; neither meat nor drink had passed [my]1114-friends lips that day , for [I]1114-friends had taken no breakfast . And , with a strange pang , [I]1114-friends now reflected that , long as [I]1114-friends had been shut up here , no message had been sent to ask how [I]1114-friends was , or to invite [me]1114-friends to come down : not even [little Adele]259-adele had tapped at the door ; not even [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax had sought [me]1114-friends . "[1114-friends] [Friends]1114-friends always forget those whom fortune forsakes , " [I]3012-you murmured , as [I]3012-you undrew the bolt and passed out . [I]3012-you stumbled over an obstacle : [my]3012-you head was still dizzy , [my]3012-you sight was dim , and [my]3012-you limbs were feeble . [I]3012-you could not soon recover [myself]3012-you . [I]3012-you fell , but not on to the ground : an outstretched arm caught [me]3012-you . [I]3012-you looked up - [I]3012-you was supported by [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , who sat in a chair across [my]3012-you chamber threshold . "[3012-you] [You]3012-you come out at last , " [he]0-i said . "[3012-you] Well , [I]0-i have been waiting for [you]3012-you long , and listening : yet not one movement have [I]0-i heard , nor one sob : five minutes more of that death - like hush , and [I]0-i should have forced the lock like [a burglar]3013-a burglar . So [you]3012-you shun [me]0-i ? - [you]3012-you shut [yourself]3012-you up and grieve alone ! [I]0-i would rather [you]3012-you had come and upbraided [me]0-i with vehemence . [You]3012-you are passionate . [I]0-i expected a scene of some kind . [I]0-i was prepared for the hot rain of tears ; only [I]0-i wanted them to be shed on [my]0-i breast : now a senseless floor has received them , or [your]3012-you drenched handkerchief . But [I]0-i err : [you]3012-you have not wept at all ! [I]0-i see a white cheek and a faded eye , but no trace of tears . [I]0-i suppose , then , [your]3012-you heart has been weeping blood ? " "[0-i] Well , [Jane]146-jane ! not a word of reproach ? Nothing bitter - nothing poignant ? Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a passion ? [You]3012-you sit quietly where [I]0-i have placed [you]3012-you , and regard [me]0-i with a weary , passive look . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i never meant to wound [you]3012-you thus . If [the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to [him]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter as [a daughter]3015-a daughter]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter , that ate of [his]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter bread and drank of [his]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter cup , and lay in [his]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter bosom , had by some mistake slaughtered it at the shambles , [he]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter would not have rued [his]3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter bloody blunder more than [I]0-i now rue [mine]0-i . Will [you]3012-you ever forgive [me]0-i ? " [Reader]387-reader , [I]3012-you forgave [him]0-i at the moment and on the spot . There was such deep remorse in [his]0-i eye , such true pity in [his]0-i tone , such manly energy in [his]0-i manner ; and besides , there was such unchanged love in [his]0-i whole look and mien - [I]3012-you forgave [him]0-i all : yet not in words , not outwardly ; only at [my]3012-you heart 's core . "[3012-you] [You]3012-you know [I]0-i am [a scoundrel]3016-a scoundrel , [Jane]146-jane ? " ere long [he]0-i inquired wistfully - wondering , [I]146-jane suppose , at [my]146-jane continued silence and tameness , the result rather of weakness than of will . "[146-jane] Yes , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] Then tell [me]0-i so roundly and sharply - do n't spare [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [I]0-i can not : [I]0-i am tired and sick . [I]0-i want some water . " [He]0-i heaved a sort of shuddering sigh , and taking [me]0-i in [his]0-i arms , carried [me]0-i [downstairs]1218-downstairs . At first [I]0-i did not know to what room [he]0-i had borne [me]0-i ; all was cloudy to [my]0-i glazed sight : presently [I]0-i felt the reviving warmth of a fire ; for , summer as it was , [I]0-i had become icy cold in [[my]0-i chamber]1419-my chamber . [He]0-i put wine to [my]0-i lips ; [I]0-i tasted it and revived ; then [I]0-i ate something [he]0-i offered [me]0-i , and was soon [myself]0-i . [I]0-i was in [the library]659-the library - sitting in [his]0-i chair - [he]0-i was quite near . "[0-i] If [I]0-i could go out of life now , without too sharp a pang , it would be well for [me]0-i , " [I]0-i thought ; "[0-i] then [I]0-i should not have to make the effort of cracking [my]0-i heart - strings in rending them from among [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's . [I]0-i must leave [him]251-mr. rochester , it appears . [I]0-i do not want to leave [him]251-mr. rochester - [I]0-i can not leave [him]251-mr. rochester . " "[0-i] How are [you]0-i now , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[0-i] Much better , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]0-i shall be well soon . " "[146-jane] Taste the wine again , [Jane]146-jane . " [I]146-jane obeyed [him]0-i ; then [he]0-i put the glass on the table , stood before [me]146-jane , and looked at [me]146-jane attentively . Suddenly [he]0-i turned away , with an inarticulate exclamation , full of passionate emotion of some kind ; [he]0-i walked fast through [the room]535-the room and came back ; [he]0-i stooped towards [me]146-jane as if to kiss [me]146-jane ; but [I]146-jane remembered caresses were now forbidden . [I]146-jane turned [my]146-jane face away and put [his]0-i aside . "[146-jane] What ! - How is this ? " [he]0-i exclaimed hastily . "[0-i] Oh , [I]0-i know ! [you]0-i wo n't kiss [the husband of [Bertha Mason]378-bertha mason]3019-the husband of bertha mason ? [You]0-i consider [my]0-i arms filled and [my]0-i embraces appropriated ? " "[0-i] At any rate , there is neither room nor claim for [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir . " "[4374-sir] Why , [Jane]146-jane ? [I]0-i will spare [you]146-jane the trouble of much talking ; [I]0-i will answer for [you]146-jane - Because [I]0-i have [a wife]5665-a wife already , [you]146-jane would reply . - [I]0-i guess rightly ? " "[0-i] Yes . " "[0-i] If [you]146-jane think so , [you]146-jane must have a strange opinion of [me]0-i ; [you]146-jane must regard [me]0-i as [a plotting profligate]3022-a plotting profligate - [a base and low rake who has been simulating disinterested love]3023-a base and low rake who has been simulating disinterested love in order to draw [you]146-jane into a snare deliberately laid , and strip [you]146-jane of honour and rob [you]146-jane of self- respect . What do [you]146-jane say to that ? [I]0-i see [you]146-jane can say nothing in the first place , [you]146-jane are faint still , and have enough to do to draw [your]146-jane breath ; in the second place , [you]146-jane can not yet accustom [yourself]146-jane to accuse and revile [me]0-i , and besides , the flood - gates of tears are opened , and they would rush out if [you]146-jane spoke much ; and [you]146-jane have no desire to expostulate , to upbraid , to make a scene : [you]146-jane are thinking how TO ACT - TALKING [you]146-jane consider is of no use . [I]0-i know [you]146-jane - [I]0-i am on [my]0-i guard . " "[146-jane] [Sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i do not wish to act against [you]4374-sir , " [I]0-i said ; and [my]0-i unsteady voice warned [me]0-i to curtail [my]0-i sentence . "[0-i] Not in [your]4374-sir sense of the word , but in [mine]0-i [you]4374-sir are scheming to destroy [me]0-i . [You]4374-sir have as good as said that [I]0-i am [a married man]6172-a married man - as [a married man]6172-a married man [you]4374-sir will shun [me]0-i , keep out of [my]0-i way : just now [you]4374-sir have refused to kiss [me]0-i . [You]4374-sir intend to make [yourself]4374-sir [a complete stranger to [me]0-i]3027-a complete stranger to me : to live under this roof only as [[Adele]259-adele 's governess]2837-adele 's governess ; if ever [I]0-i say a friendly word to [you]4374-sir , if ever a friendly feeling inclines [you]4374-sir again to [me]0-i , [you]4374-sir will say , - ' [That man]3029-that man had nearly made [me]0-i [[his]3029-that man mistress]3030-his mistress : [I]0-i must be ice and rock to [him]3029-that man ; ' and ice and rock [you]4374-sir will accordingly become . " [I]3029-that man cleared and steadied [my]3029-that man voice to reply : "[3029-that man] All is changed about [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]0-i must change too - there is no doubt of that ; and to avoid fluctuations of feeling , and continual combats with recollections and associations , there is only one way - [Adele]259-adele must have [a new governess]1405-a new governess , [sir]4374-sir . " "[1405-a new governess] Oh , [Adele]259-adele will go to [school]537-school - [I]0-i have settled that already ; nor do [I]0-i mean to torment [you]4374-sir with the hideous associations and recollections of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall - [this accursed place]3035-this accursed place - [this tent of [Achan]388-achan]3036-this tent of achan - [this insolent vault]3037-this insolent vault , offering the ghastliness of living death to the light of the open sky - [this narrow stone hell , with [its]3038-this narrow stone hell , with its one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as we imagine one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as [we]3039-we imagine]3038-this narrow stone hell , with its one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as we imagine . [Jane]146-jane , [you]4374-sir shall not stay [here]4312-here , nor will [I.]0-i [I]0-i was wrong ever to bring [you]4374-sir to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , knowing as [I]0-i did how [it]53-thornfield hall was haunted . [I]0-i charged [them]3041-them to conceal from [you]4374-sir , before [I]0-i ever saw [you]4374-sir , all knowledge of the curse of [the place]1554-the place ; merely because [I]0-i feared [Adele]259-adele never would have [a governess]5029-a governess to stay if [she]259-adele knew with what inmate [she]259-adele was housed , and [my]0-i plans would not permit [me]0-i to remove [the maniac]2984-the maniac elsewhere - though [I]0-i possess [an old house]3045-an old house , [Ferndean Manor]92-ferndean manor , even more retired and hidden than this , where [I]0-i could have lodged [her]259-adele safely enough , had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation , in the heart of a wood , made [my]0-i conscience recoil from the arrangement . Probably those damp walls would soon have eased [me]0-i of [her]259-adele charge : but to [each villain]3046-each villain [his]3046-each villain own vice ; and mine is not a tendency to indirect assassination , even of what [I]0-i most hate . " Concealing [the mad - woman]6587-the mad - woman 's neighbourhood from [you]6588-you , however , was something like covering [a child]4305-a child with a cloak and laying it down near a upas - tree : [that demon]6590-that demon 's vicinage is poisoned , and always was . But [I]3047-i 'll shut up [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall : [I]3047-i 'll nail up the front door and board the lower windows : [I]3047-i 'll give [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole two hundred a year to live [here]4312-here with [[MY]3047-i WIFE]2180-my wife , as [you]6588-you term [that fearful hag]6593-that fearful hag : [Grace]263-grace poole will do much for money , and [she]263-grace poole shall have [[her]263-grace poole son]4661-her son , [the keeper at [Grimsby Retreat]95-grimsby retreat]6595-the keeper at grimsby retreat , to bear [her]263-grace poole company and be at hand to give [her]263-grace poole aid in the paroxysms , when [[MY]3047-i WIFE]2180-my wife is prompted by [her]2180-my wife familiar to burn [people]4493-people in [[their]4493-people beds]6598-their beds at night , to stab [them]4493-people , to bite [their]4493-people flesh from [their]4493-people bones , and so on - "[3047-i] " [Sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i interrupted [him]3047-i , " [you]3047-i are inexorable for [that unfortunate lady]6600-that unfortunate lady : [you]3047-i speak of [her]6600-that unfortunate lady with hate - with vindictive antipathy . It is cruel - [she]6600-that unfortunate lady can not help being mad . "[0-i] " [Jane]146-jane , [[my]3047-i little darling]6601-my little darling so [I]3047-i will call [you]146-jane , for so [you]146-jane are , [you]146-jane do n't know what [you]146-jane are talking about ; [you]146-jane misjudge [me]3047-i again : it is not because [she]6600-that unfortunate lady is mad [I]3047-i hate [her]6600-that unfortunate lady . If [you]3047-i were mad , do [you]3047-i think [I]3047-i should hate [you]3047-i ? "[3047-i] " [I]3047-i do indeed , [sir]4374-sir . "[3047-i] " Then [you]146-jane are mistaken , and [you]146-jane know nothing about [me]3047-i , and nothing about the sort of love of which [I]3047-i am capable . Every atom of [your]146-jane flesh is as dear to [me]3047-i as [my]3047-i own : in pain and sickness it would still be dear . [Your]146-jane mind is [my]3047-i treasure , and if it were broken , it would be [my]3047-i treasure still : if [you]146-jane raved , [my]3047-i arms should confine [you]146-jane , and not a strait waistcoat - [your]146-jane grasp , even in fury , would have a charm for [me]3047-i : if [you]146-jane flew at [me]3047-i as wildly as [that woman]5442-that woman did this morning , [I]3047-i should receive [you]146-jane in an embrace , at least as fond as it would be restrictive . [I]3047-i should not shrink from [you]146-jane with disgust as [I]3047-i did from [her]5442-that woman : in [your]146-jane quiet moments [you]146-jane should have [no watcher]6604-no watcher and [no nurse]6073-no nurse but [me]3047-i ; and [I]3047-i could hang over [you]146-jane with untiring tenderness , though [you]146-jane gave [me]3047-i no smile in return ; and never weary of gazing into [your]146-jane eyes , though they had no longer a ray of recognition for [me]3047-i . - But why do [I]3047-i follow that train of ideas ? [I]3047-i was talking of removing [you]146-jane from [Thornfield]43-thornfield . All , [you]146-jane know , is prepared for prompt departure : to - morrow [you]146-jane shall go . [I]3047-i only ask [you]146-jane to endure one more night under this roof , [Jane]146-jane ; and then , farewell to its miseries and terrors for ever ! [I]3047-i have a place to repair to , which will be a secure sanctuary from hateful reminiscences , from unwelcome intrusion - even from falsehood and slander . "[3047-i] " And take [Adele]259-adele with [you]3049-you , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i interrupted ; ' [she]3048-she will be a companion for [you]3049-you . " "[0-i] What do [you]3049-you mean , [Jane]146-jane ? [I]0-i told [you]146-jane [I]0-i would send [Adele]259-adele to [school]537-school ; and what do [I]0-i want with [a child]4305-a child for [a companion]1021-a companion , and not [[my]0-i own child]2622-my own child , - [a French dancer 's bastard]3054-a french dancer 's bastard ? Why do [you]3049-you importune [me]0-i about [her]259-adele ! [I]0-i say , why do [you]3049-you assign [Adele]259-adele to [me]0-i for [a companion]1021-a companion ? " "[0-i] [You]3049-you spoke of a retirement , [sir]4374-sir ; and retirement and solitude are dull : too dull for [you]3049-you . " "[3049-you] Solitude ! solitude ! " [he]0-i reiterated with irritation . "[0-i] [I]0-i see [I]0-i must come to an explanation . [I]0-i do n't know what sphynx - like expression is forming in [your]4374-sir countenance . [You]4374-sir are to share [my]0-i solitude . Do [you]4374-sir understand ? " [I]4374-sir shook [my]4374-sir head : it required a degree of courage , excited as [he]0-i was becoming , even to risk that mute sign of dissent . [He]0-i had been walking fast about [the room]535-the room , and [he]0-i stopped , as if suddenly rooted to one spot . [He]0-i looked at [me]4374-sir long and hard : [I]4374-sir turned [my]4374-sir eyes from [him]0-i , fixed them on the fire , and tried to assume and maintain a quiet , collected aspect . "[4374-sir] Now for the hitch in [Jane]146-jane 's character , " [he]0-i said at last , speaking more calmly than from [his]0-i look [I]4374-sir had expected [him]0-i to speak . "[4374-sir] The reel of silk has run smoothly enough so far ; but [I]0-i always knew there would come a knot and a puzzle : here it is . Now for vexation , and exasperation , and endless trouble ! By [God]180-mrs. fairfax ! [I]0-i long to exert a fraction of [Samson]198-sam 's strength , and break the entanglement like tow ! " [He]0-i recommenced [his]0-i walk , but soon again stopped , and this time just before [me]146-jane . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! will [you]146-jane hear reason ? " [he]0-i stooped and approached [his]0-i lips to [my]146-jane ear ; "[146-jane] because , if [you]146-jane wo n't , [I]0-i 'll try violence . " [His]0-i voice was hoarse ; [his]0-i look that of [a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and plunge headlong into wild license]6608-a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and plunge headlong into wild license . [I]0-i saw that in another moment , and with one impetus of frenzy more , [I]0-i should be able to do nothing with [him]0-i . The present - the passing second of time - was all [I]0-i had in which to control and restrain [him]0-i - a movement of repulsion , flight , fear would have sealed [my]0-i doom , - and [his]0-i . But [I]0-i was not afraid : not in the least . [I]0-i felt an inward power ; a sense of influence , which supported [me]0-i . The crisis was perilous ; but not without its charm : such as [the Indian]6609-the indian , perhaps , feels when [he]6609-the indian slips over the rapid in [his]6609-the indian canoe . [I]0-i took hold of [his]0-i clenched hand , loosened the contorted fingers , and said to [him]0-i , soothingly - "[0-i] Sit down ; [I]0-i 'll talk to [you]3057-you as long as [you]3057-you like , and hear all [you]3057-you have to say , whether reasonable or unreasonable . " [He]0-i sat down : but [he]0-i did not get leave to speak directly . [I]0-i had been struggling with tears for some time : [I]0-i had taken great pains to repress them , because [I]0-i knew [he]0-i would not like to see [me]0-i weep . Now , however , [I]0-i considered it well to let them flow as freely and as long as [they]6610-they liked . If the flood annoyed [him]0-i , so much the better . So [I]0-i gave way and cried heartily . Soon [I]0-i heard [him]0-i earnestly entreating [me]0-i to be composed . [I]0-i said [I]0-i could not while [he]0-i was in such a passion . "[0-i] But [I]0-i am not angry , [Jane]146-jane : [I]0-i only love [you]146-jane too well ; and [you]146-jane had steeled [your]146-jane little pale face with such a resolute , frozen look , [I]0-i could not endure it . Hush , now , and wipe [your]146-jane eyes . " [His]0-i softened voice announced that [he]0-i was subdued ; so [I]146-jane , in [my]146-jane turn , became calm . Now [he]0-i made an effort to rest [his]0-i head on [my]146-jane shoulder , but [I]146-jane would not permit it . Then [he]0-i would draw [me]146-jane to [him]0-i : no . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! " [he]0-i said , in such an accent of bitter sadness it thrilled along every nerve [I]146-jane had ; "[146-jane] [you]146-jane do n't love [me]0-i , then ? It was only [my]0-i station , and the rank of [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife , that [you]146-jane valued ? Now that [you]146-jane think [me]0-i disqualified to become [[your]146-jane husband]3059-your husband , [you]146-jane recoil from [my]0-i touch as if [I]0-i were [some toad or ape]3060-some toad or ape . " These words cut [me]146-jane : yet what could [I]146-jane do or [I]146-jane say ? [I]146-jane ought probably to have done or said nothing ; but [I]146-jane was so tortured by a sense of remorse at thus hurting [his]0-i feelings , [I]146-jane could not control the wish to drop balm where [I]146-jane had wounded . "[146-jane] [I]0-i DO love [you]0-i , " [I]0-i said , "[0-i] more than ever : but [I]0-i must not show or indulge the feeling : and this is the last time [I]0-i must express it . " "[146-jane] The last time , [Jane]146-jane ! What ! do [you]0-i think [you]0-i can live with [me]0-i , and see [me]0-i daily , and yet , if [you]0-i still love [me]0-i , be always cold and distant ? " "[4374-sir] No , [sir]4374-sir ; that [I]0-i am certain [I]0-i could not ; and therefore [I]0-i see there is but one way : but [you]0-i will be furious if [I]0-i mention it . " "[0-i] Oh , mention it ! If [I]0-i storm , [you]0-i have the art of weeping . " "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i must leave [you]251-mr. rochester . " "[251-mr. rochester] For how long , [Jane]146-jane ? For a few minutes , while [you]0-i smooth [your]0-i hair - which is somewhat dishevelled ; and bathe [your]0-i face - which looks feverish ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i must leave [Adele]259-adele and [Thornfield]43-thornfield . [I]0-i must part with [you]251-mr. rochester for [my]0-i whole life : [I]0-i must begin a new existence among strange faces and strange scenes . " "[0-i] Of course : [I]0-i told [you]251-mr. rochester [you]251-mr. rochester should . [I]0-i pass over the madness about parting from [me]0-i . [You]251-mr. rochester mean [you]251-mr. rochester must become a part of [me]0-i . As to the new existence , it is all right : [you]251-mr. rochester shall yet be [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife : [I]0-i am not married . [You]251-mr. rochester shall be [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester - both virtually and nominally . [I]0-i shall keep only to [you]251-mr. rochester so long as [you]251-mr. rochester and [I]0-i live . [You]251-mr. rochester shall go to [a place [I]0-i have in [the south of [France]33-france]3064-the south of france]3063-a place i have in the south of france : [a whitewashed villa on [the shores of [the Mediterranean]96-the mediterranean]3066-the shores of the mediterranean]3065-a whitewashed villa on the shores of the mediterranean . There [you]251-mr. rochester shall live a happy , and guarded , and most innocent life . Never fear that [I]0-i wish to lure [you]251-mr. rochester into error - to make [you]251-mr. rochester [[my]0-i mistress]3067-my mistress . Why did [you]251-mr. rochester shake [your]251-mr. rochester head ? [Jane]146-jane , [you]251-mr. rochester must be reasonable , or in truth [I]0-i shall again become frantic . " [His]4374-sir voice and hand quivered : [his]4374-sir large nostrils dilated ; [his]4374-sir eye blazed : still [I]0-i dared to speak . "[0-i] [Sir]4374-sir , [[your]4374-sir wife]6190-your wife is living : that is a fact acknowledged this morning by [yourself]4374-sir . If [I]0-i lived with [you]4374-sir as [you]4374-sir desire , [I]0-i should then be [[your]4374-sir mistress]4411-your mistress : to say otherwise is sophistical - is false . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i am not [a gentle - tempered man]3071-a gentle - tempered man - [you]146-jane forget that : [I]0-i am not long - enduring ; [I]0-i am not cool and dispassionate . Out of pity to [me]0-i and [yourself]146-jane , put [your]146-jane finger on [my]0-i pulse , feel how it throbs , and - beware ! " [He]0-i bared [his]0-i wrist , and offered it to [me]146-jane : the blood was forsaking [his]0-i cheek and lips , they were growing livid ; [I]146-jane was distressed on all hands . To agitate [him]0-i thus deeply , by a resistance [he]0-i so abhorred , was cruel : to yield was out of the question . [I]146-jane did what [human beings]754-human beings do instinctively when [they]754-human beings are driven to utter extremity - looked for aid to one higher than [man]4667-man : the words "[146-jane] God help [me]0-i ! " burst involuntarily from [my]146-jane lips . "[146-jane] [I]0-i am [a fool]1546-a fool ! " cried [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester suddenly . "[0-i] [I]0-i keep telling [her]3073-her [I]0-i am not married , and do not explain to [her]3073-her why . [I]0-i forget [she]3073-her knows nothing of the character of [that woman]5442-that woman , or of the circumstances attending [my]0-i infernal union with [her]3073-her . Oh , [I]0-i am certain [Jane]146-jane will agree with [me]0-i in opinion , when [she]3073-her knows all that [I]0-i know ! Just put [your]146-jane hand in [mine]0-i , [Janet]265-janet - that [I]0-i may have the evidence of touch as well as sight , to prove [you]146-jane are near [me]0-i - and [I]0-i will in a few words show [you]146-jane the real state of the case . Can [you]146-jane listen to [me]0-i ? " "[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]4374-sir ; for hours if [you]4374-sir will . " "[0-i] [I]0-i ask only minutes . [Jane]146-jane , did [you]146-jane ever hear or know that [I]0-i was not [the eldest son of [[my]0-i house]4395-my house]3076-the eldest son of my house : that [I]0-i had once [a brother older than [I]0-i]3078-a brother older than i ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i remember [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax told [me]0-i so once . " "[180-mrs. fairfax] And did [you]146-jane ever hear that [[my]0-i father]682-my father was [an avaricious , grasping man]3080-an avaricious , grasping man ? " "[146-jane] [I]0-i have understood something to that effect . " "[146-jane] Well , [Jane]146-jane , being so , it was [his]682-my father resolution to keep [the property]5215-the property together ; [he]682-my father could not bear the idea of dividing [his]682-my father estate and leaving [me]0-i a fair portion : all , [he]682-my father resolved , should go to [[my]0-i brother]3082-my brother , [Rowland]251-mr. rochester . Yet as little could [he]682-my father endure that [a son of]3083-a son of [his]682-my father should be [a poor man]3084-a poor man . [I]0-i must be provided for by a wealthy marriage . [He]682-my father sought [me]0-i a partner betimes . [Mr. Mason]337-mason , [a West India planter and merchant]3085-a west india planter and merchant , was [[his]682-my father old acquaintance]3086-his old acquaintance . [He]337-mason was certain [his]337-mason possessions were real and vast : [he]337-mason made inquiries . [Mr. Mason]337-mason , [he]337-mason found , had [a son]3087-a son and [daughter]3088-daughter ; and [he]337-mason learned from [him]337-mason that [he]337-mason could and would give [the latter]719-the latter a fortune of thirty thousand pounds : that sufficed . When [I]0-i left [college]3090-college , [I]0-i was sent out to [Jamaica]72-jamaica , to espouse [a bride already courted for [me]0-i]3091-a bride already courted for me . [[My]0-i father]682-my father said nothing about [her]3091-a bride already courted for me money ; but [he]682-my father told [me]0-i [Miss Mason]389-miss mason was the boast of [Spanish Town]2295-spanish town for [her]389-miss mason beauty : and this was no lie . [I]0-i found [her]389-miss mason [a fine woman]3094-a fine woman , in the style of [Blanche Ingram]295-mrs. fairfax : tall , dark , and majestic . [[Her]389-miss mason family]4876-her family wished to secure [me]0-i because [I]0-i was of a good race ; and so did [she]389-miss mason . [They]4876-her family showed [her]389-miss mason to [me]0-i in parties , splendidly dressed . [I]0-i seldom saw [her]389-miss mason alone , and had very little private conversation with [her]389-miss mason . [She]389-miss mason flattered [me]0-i , and lavishly displayed for [my]0-i pleasure [her]389-miss mason charms and accomplishments . [All the men in [her]389-miss mason circle]3096-all the men in her circle seemed to admire [her]389-miss mason and envy [me]0-i . [I]0-i was dazzled , stimulated : [my]0-i senses were excited ; and being ignorant , raw , and inexperienced , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i loved [her]389-miss mason . There is no folly so besotted that [the idiotic rivalries of society]3097-the idiotic rivalries of society , the prurience , the rashness , the blindness of youth , will not hurry [a man]4429-a man to its commission . [[Her]389-miss mason relatives]3099-her relatives encouraged [me]0-i ; competitors piqued [me]0-i ; [she]389-miss mason allured [me]0-i : a marriage was achieved almost before [I]0-i knew where [I]0-i was . Oh , [I]0-i have no respect for [myself]0-i when [I]0-i think of that act ! - an agony of inward contempt masters [me]0-i . [I]0-i never loved , [I]0-i never esteemed , [I]0-i did not even know [her]389-miss mason . [I]0-i was not sure of the existence of one virtue in [her]389-miss mason nature : [I]0-i had marked neither modesty , nor benevolence , nor candour , nor refinement in [her]389-miss mason mind or manners - and , [I]0-i married [[her:-]389-miss mason gross , grovelling , mole - eyed blockhead that [I]0-i was]3100-her:- gross , grovelling , mole - eyed blockhead that i was ! With less sin [I]0-i might have - But let [me]0-i remember to whom [I]0-i am speaking . " "[0-i] [[[My]0-i bride]2506-my bride 's mother]3102-my bride 's mother [I]0-i had never seen : [I]0-i understood [she]3102-my bride 's mother was dead . The honeymoon over , [I]0-i learned [my]0-i mistake ; [she]3102-my bride 's mother was only mad , and shut up in [a lunatic asylum]3103-a lunatic asylum . There was [a younger brother]3104-a younger brother , too - [a complete dumb idiot]3105-a complete dumb idiot . [The elder one]3106-the elder one , whom [you]3107-you have seen and whom [I]0-i can not hate , whilst [I]0-i abhor all [his]3106-the elder one kindred , because [he]3106-the elder one has some grains of affection in [his]3106-the elder one feeble mind , shown in the continued interest [he]3106-the elder one takes in [[his]3106-the elder one wretched sister]3108-his wretched sister , and also in a dog - like attachment [he]3106-the elder one once bore [me]0-i , will probably be in the same state one day . [[My]0-i father]682-my father and [[my]0-i brother]3082-my brother [Rowland]251-mr. rochester knew all this ; but [they]3111-they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds , and joined in the plot against [me]0-i . " "[3111-they] These were vile discoveries ; but except for the treachery of concealment , [I]0-i should have made them no subject of reproach to [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife , even when [I]0-i found [her]2180-my wife nature wholly alien to [mine]0-i , [her]2180-my wife tastes obnoxious to [me]0-i , [her]2180-my wife cast of mind common , low , narrow , and singularly incapable of being led to anything higher , expanded to anything larger - when [I]0-i found that [I]0-i could not pass a single evening , nor even a single hour of the day with [her]2180-my wife in comfort ; that kindly conversation could not be sustained between [us]3113-us , because whatever topic [I]0-i started , immediately received from [her]2180-my wife a turn at once coarse and trite , perverse and imbecile - when [I]0-i perceived that [I]0-i should never have a quiet or settled household , because [no servant]3114-no servant would bear the continued outbreaks of [her]2180-my wife violent and unreasonable temper , or the vexations of [her]2180-my wife absurd , contradictory , exacting orders - even then [I]0-i restrained [myself]0-i : [I]0-i eschewed upbraiding , [I]0-i curtailed remonstrance ; [I]0-i tried to devour [my]0-i repentance and disgust in secret ; [I]0-i repressed the deep antipathy [I]0-i felt . " [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i will not trouble [you]146-jane with abominable details : some strong words shall express what [I]0-i have to say . [I]0-i lived with [that woman]5442-that woman upstairs four years , and before that time [she]5442-that woman had tried [me]0-i indeed : [her]5442-that woman character ripened and developed with frightful rapidity ; [her]5442-that woman vices sprang up fast and rank : they were so strong , only cruelty could check them , and [I]0-i would not use cruelty . What a pigmy intellect [she]5442-that woman had , and what giant propensities ! How fearful were the curses those propensities entailed on [me]0-i ! [Bertha Mason]378-bertha mason , [the true daughter of [an infamous mother]6615-an infamous mother]6614-the true daughter of an infamous mother , dragged [me]0-i through all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a man bound to [a wife]5665-a wife at once intemperate and unchaste . "[0-i] [[My]0-i brother]3082-my brother in the interval was dead , and at the end of the four years [[my]0-i father]682-my father died too . [I]0-i was rich enough now - yet poor to hideous indigence : a nature the most gross , impure , depraved [I]0-i ever saw , was associated with [mine]0-i , and called by the law and by society a part of [me]0-i . And [I]0-i could not rid [myself]0-i of it by any legal proceedings : for [the doctors]3117-the doctors now discovered that [[MY]0-i WIFE]2180-my wife was mad - [her]2180-my wife excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity . [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane do n't like [my]0-i narrative ; [you]146-jane look almost sick - shall [I]0-i defer the rest to another day ? " "[4374-sir] No , [sir]4374-sir , finish it now ; [I]0-i pity [you]146-jane - [I]0-i do earnestly pity [you]146-jane . " "[0-i] Pity , [Jane]146-jane , from [some people]4928-some people is a noxious and insulting sort of tribute , which [one]4415-one is justified in hurling back in the teeth of [those who offer it]3122-those who offer it ; but that is the sort of pity native to [callous , selfish hearts]3123-callous , selfish hearts ; it is a hybrid , egotistical pain at hearing of woes , crossed with ignorant contempt for those who have endured [them]3124-them . But that is not [your]146-jane pity , [Jane]146-jane ; it is not the feeling of which [your]146-jane whole face is full at this moment - with which [your]146-jane eyes are now almost overflowing - with which [your]146-jane heart is heaving - with which [your]146-jane hand is trembling in [mine]0-i . [Your]146-jane pity , [[my]0-i darling]6201-my darling , is [the suffering mother of love]3126-the suffering mother of love : its anguish is the very natal pang of the divine passion . [I]0-i accept it , [Jane]146-jane ; let [the daughter]2963-the daughter have free advent - [my]0-i arms wait to receive [her]2963-the daughter . " "[0-i] Now , [sir]4374-sir , proceed ; what did [you]4374-sir do when [you]4374-sir found [she]2963-the daughter was mad ? " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i approached the verge of despair ; a remnant of self - respect was all that intervened between [me]0-i and [the gulf]6357-the gulf . In the eyes of [the world]484-the world , [I]0-i was doubtless covered with grimy dishonour ; but [I]0-i resolved to be clean in [my]0-i own sight - and to the last [I]0-i repudiated the contamination of [her]2963-the daughter crimes , and wrenched [myself]0-i from connection with [her]2963-the daughter mental defects . Still , [society]3131-society associated [my]0-i name and person with [hers]2963-the daughter ; [I]0-i yet saw [her]2963-the daughter and heard [her]2963-the daughter daily : something of [her]2963-the daughter breath faugh ! mixed with the air [I]0-i breathed ; and besides , [I]0-i remembered [I]0-i had once been [[her]2963-the daughter husband]620-her husband - that recollection was then , and is now , inexpressibly odious to [me]0-i ; moreover , [I]0-i knew that while [she]2963-the daughter lived [I]0-i could never be [the husband of another and better wife]3133-the husband of another and better wife ; and , though five years [my]0-i senior [[her]2963-the daughter family]4876-her family and [[her]2963-the daughter father]1141-her father had lied to [me]0-i even in the particular of [her]2963-the daughter age , [she]2963-the daughter was likely to live as long as [I]0-i , being as robust in frame as [she]2963-the daughter was infirm in mind . Thus , at the age of twenty - six , [I]0-i was hopeless . " One night [I]0-i had been awakened by [her]2963-the daughter yells - since [the medical men]6617-the medical men had pronounced [her]2963-the daughter mad , [she]2963-the daughter had , of course , been shut up - it was a fiery West Indian night ; one of the description that frequently precede the hurricanes of those climates . Being unable to sleep in bed , [I]0-i got up and opened the window . The air was like sulphur - steams - [I]0-i could find no refreshment anywhere . Mosquitoes came buzzing in and hummed sullenly round [the room]535-the room ; [the sea]5042-the sea , which [I]0-i could hear from thence , rumbled dull like an earthquake - black clouds were casting up over [it]5042-the sea ; the moon was setting in the waves , broad and red , like a hot cannon - ball - [she]2963-the daughter threw [her]2963-the daughter last bloody glance over a world quivering with the ferment of tempest . [I]0-i was physically influenced by the atmosphere and scene , and [my]0-i ears were filled with the curses [the maniac]2984-the maniac still shrieked out ; wherein [she]2963-the daughter momentarily mingled [my]0-i name with such a tone of demon - hate , with such language ! - [no professed harlot]6621-no professed harlot ever had a fouler vocabulary than [she]2963-the daughter : though [two rooms]6622-two rooms off , [I]0-i heard every word - the thin partitions of [the West India house]6623-the west india house opposing but slight obstruction to [her]2963-the daughter wolfish cries . "[0-i] ' This life , ' said [I]0-i at last , ' is hell : this is the air - those are the sounds of [the bottomless pit]3136-the bottomless pit ! [I]0-i have a right to deliver [myself]0-i from it if [I]0-i can . The sufferings of this mortal state will leave [me]0-i with the heavy flesh that now cumbers [my]0-i soul . Of [the fanatic]3137-the fanatic 's burning eternity [I]0-i have no fear : there is not a future state worse than this present one - let [me]0-i break away , and go [home]509-home to [God]180-mrs. fairfax ! ' " [I]0-i said this whilst [I]0-i knelt down at , and unlocked a trunk which contained a brace of loaded pistols : [I]0-i mean to shoot [myself]0-i . [I]0-i only entertained the intention for a moment ; for , not being insane , the crisis of exquisite and unalloyed despair , which had originated the wish and design of self - destruction , was past in a second . "[0-i] A wind fresh from [Europe]75-europe blew over [the ocean]3139-the ocean and rushed through the open casement : the storm broke , streamed , thundered , blazed , and the air grew pure . [I]0-i then framed and fixed a resolution . While [I]0-i walked under the dripping orange - trees of [[my]0-i wet garden]3140-my wet garden , and amongst its drenched pomegranates and pine - apples , and while the refulgent dawn of the tropics kindled round [me]0-i - [I]0-i reasoned thus , [Jane]146-jane - and now listen ; for it was true Wisdom that consoled [me]0-i in that hour , and showed [me]0-i the right path to follow . " The sweet wind from [Europe]75-europe was still whispering in the refreshed leaves , and [the Atlantic]97-the atlantic was thundering in glorious liberty ; [my]232-hope heart , dried up and scorched for a long time , swelled to the tone , and filled with living blood - [my]232-hope being longed for renewal - [my]232-hope soul thirsted for a pure draught . [I]232-hope saw hope revive - and felt regeneration possible . From a flowery arch at the bottom of [[my]232-hope garden]1231-my garden [I]232-hope gazed over the sea - bluer than the sky : [the old world]2605-the old world was beyond ; clear prospects opened thus:- "[232-hope] ' Go , ' said [Hope]232-hope , ' and live again in [Europe]75-europe : there it is not known what a sullied name [you]3141-you bear , nor what a filthy burden is bound to [you]3141-you . [You]3141-you may take [the maniac]2984-the maniac with [you]3141-you to [England]21-england ; confine [her]2984-the maniac with due attendance and precautions at [Thornfield]43-thornfield : then travel [yourself]3141-you to what clime [you]3141-you will , and form what new tie [you]3141-you like . [That woman]5442-that woman , who has so abused [your]3141-you long - suffering , so sullied [your]3141-you name , so outraged [your]3141-you honour , so blighted [your]3141-you youth , is not [[your]3141-you wife]6190-your wife , nor are [you]3141-you [[her]2984-the maniac husband]620-her husband . See that [she]2984-the maniac is cared for as [her]2984-the maniac condition demands , and [you]3141-you have done all that [God]180-mrs. fairfax and humanity require of [you]3141-you . Let [her]2984-the maniac identity , [her]2984-the maniac connection with [yourself]3141-you , be buried in oblivion : [you]3141-you are bound to impart them to [no living being]3146-no living being . Place [her]2984-the maniac in safety and comfort : shelter [her]2984-the maniac degradation with secrecy , and leave [her]2984-the maniac . ' " [I]0-i acted precisely on this suggestion . [[My]0-i father]682-my father and [brother]6627-brother had not made [my]0-i marriage known to [their]6628-their acquaintance ; because , in the very first letter [I]0-i wrote to apprise [them]6628-their of the union - having already begun to experience extreme disgust of its consequences , and , from the family character and constitution , seeing a hideous future opening to [me]0-i - [I]0-i added an urgent charge to keep it secret : and very soon the infamous conduct of [the wife [[my]0-i father]682-my father had selected for [me]0-i]6629-the wife my father had selected for me was such as to make [him]682-my father blush to own [her]3147-her as [[his]682-my father daughter - in - law]6631-his daughter - in - law . Far from desiring to publish the connection , [he]682-my father became as anxious to conceal it as [myself]0-i . "[0-i] To [England]21-england , then , [I]0-i conveyed [her]3147-her ; a fearful voyage [I]0-i had with such a monster in [the vessel]3148-the vessel . Glad was [I]0-i when [I]0-i at last got [her]3147-her to [Thornfield]43-thornfield , and saw [her]3147-her safely lodged in [that third - storey room]3149-that third - storey room , of whose secret inner cabinet [she]3147-her has now for ten years made [a wild beast 's den]3150-a wild beast 's den - [[a goblin]3151-a goblin 's cell]3152-a goblin 's cell . [I]0-i had some trouble in finding [an attendant]3153-an attendant for [her]3147-her , as it was necessary to select one on whose fidelity dependence could be placed ; for [her]3147-her ravings would inevitably betray [my]0-i secret : besides , [she]3147-her had lucid intervals of days - sometimes weeks - which [she]3147-her filled up with abuse of [me]0-i . At last [I]0-i hired [Grace Poole]263-grace poole from [the Grimbsy Retreat]390-the grimbsy retreat . [She]263-grace poole and [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon , [Carter]270-carter who dressed [Mason]378-bertha mason 's wounds that night [he]378-bertha mason was stabbed and worried , are the only two [I]0-i have ever admitted to [my]0-i confidence . [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax may indeed have suspected something , but [she]263-grace poole could have gained no precise knowledge as to facts . [Grace]263-grace poole has , on the whole , proved [a good keeper]3155-a good keeper ; though , owing partly to a fault of [her]263-grace poole own , of which it appears nothing can cure [her]263-grace poole , and which is incident to [her]263-grace poole harassing profession , [her]263-grace poole vigilance has been more than once lulled and baffled . [The lunatic]6552-the lunatic is both cunning and malignant ; [she]6552-the lunatic has never failed to take advantage of [[her]6552-the lunatic guardian]1764-her guardian 's temporary lapses ; once to secrete the knife with which [she]6552-the lunatic stabbed [[her]6552-the lunatic brother]6047-her brother , and twice to possess [herself]6552-the lunatic of the key of [[her]6552-the lunatic cell]3159-her cell , and issue therefrom in the night - time . On the first of these occasions , [she]6552-the lunatic perpetrated the attempt to burn [me]0-i in [my]0-i bed ; on the second , [she]6552-the lunatic paid that ghastly visit to [you]3160-you . [I]0-i thank [Providence]272-providence , who watched over [you]3160-you , that [she]6552-the lunatic then spent [her]6552-the lunatic fury on [your]3160-you wedding apparel , which perhaps brought back vague reminiscences of [her]6552-the lunatic own bridal days : but on what might have happened , [I]0-i can not endure to reflect . When [I]0-i think of the thing which flew at [my]0-i throat this morning , hanging its black and scarlet visage over the nest of [my]0-i dove , [my]0-i blood curdles . " "[4374-sir] And what , [sir]4374-sir , " [I]4374-sir asked , while [he]4374-sir paused , "[4374-sir] did [you]4374-sir do when [you]4374-sir had settled [her]6552-the lunatic here ? Where did [you]4374-sir go ? " "[4374-sir] What did [I]0-i do , [Jane]146-jane ? [I]0-i transformed [myself]0-i into a will - o'-the - wisp . Where did [I]0-i go ? [I]0-i pursued wanderings as wild as those of [the March - spirit]3162-the march - spirit . [I]0-i sought [the Continent]52-the continent , and went devious through [all [its]52-the continent lands]3163-all its lands . [My]0-i fixed desire was to seek and find [a good and intelligent woman]3164-a good and intelligent woman , whom [I]0-i could love : a contrast to the fury [I]0-i left at [Thornfield]43-thornfield - " "[0-i] But [you]4374-sir could not marry , [sir]4374-sir . " "[0-i] [I]0-i had determined and was convinced that [I]0-i could and ought . It was not [my]0-i original intention to deceive , as [I]0-i have deceived [you]4374-sir . [I]0-i meant to tell [my]0-i tale plainly , and make [my]0-i proposals openly : and it appeared to [me]0-i so absolutely rational that [I]0-i should be considered free to love and be loved , [I]0-i never doubted [some woman]3166-some woman might be found willing and able to understand [my]0-i case and accept [me]0-i , in spite of the curse with which [I]0-i was burdened . " "[4374-sir] Well , [sir]4374-sir ? " "[4374-sir] When [you]4374-sir are inquisitive , [Jane]146-jane , [you]4374-sir always make [me]0-i smile . [You]4374-sir open [your]4374-sir eyes like an eager bird , and make [every now]3168-every now and then a restless movement , as if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for [you]4374-sir , and [you]4374-sir wanted to read the tablet of [one]4415-one 's heart . But before [I]0-i go on , tell [me]0-i what [you]4374-sir mean by [your]4374-sir ' Well , [sir]4374-sir ? ' It is a small phrase very frequent with [you]4374-sir ; and which many a time has drawn [me]0-i on and on through interminable talk : [I]0-i do n't very well know why . " "[0-i] [I]0-i mean , - What next ? How did [you]4374-sir proceed ? What came of such an event ? " "[4374-sir] Precisely ! and what do [you]4374-sir wish to know now ? " "[4374-sir] Whether [you]4374-sir found any one [you]4374-sir liked : whether [you]4374-sir asked [her]3171-her to marry [you]4374-sir ; and what [she]3171-her said . " "[3171-her] [I]0-i can tell [you]4374-sir whether [I]0-i found any one [I]0-i liked , and whether [I]0-i asked [her]3171-her to marry [me]0-i : but what [she]3171-her said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate . For ten long years [I]0-i roved about , living first in [one capital]3172-one capital , then another : sometimes in [St. Petersburg]98-st. petersburg ; oftener in [Paris]62-paris ; occasionally in [Rome]17-rome , [Naples]84-naples , and [Florence]85-florence . Provided with plenty of money and the passport of an old name , [I]0-i could choose [[my]0-i own society]3173-my own society : no circles were closed against [me]0-i . [I]0-i sought [my]0-i ideal of [a woman]4399-a woman amongst [English ladies]3175-english ladies , [French countesses]3176-french countesses , [Italian signoras]3177-italian signoras , and [German grafinnen]3178-german grafinnen . [I]0-i could not find [her]4399-a woman . Sometimes , for a fleeting moment , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i caught a glance , heard a tone , beheld a form , which announced the realisation of [my]0-i dream : but [I]0-i was presently undeserved . [You]3179-you are not to suppose that [I]0-i desired perfection , either of mind or [person]2083-person . [I]0-i longed only for what suited [me]0-i - for the antipodes of [the Creole]2959-the creole : and [I]0-i longed vainly . Amongst [them]3182-them all [I]0-i found [not one whom]3183-not one whom , had [I]0-i been ever so free , [I]0-i - warned as [I]0-i was of the risks , the horrors , the loathings of incongruous unions - would have asked to marry [me]0-i . Disappointment made [me]0-i reckless . [I]0-i tried dissipation - never debauchery : that [I]0-i hated , and hate . That was [my]0-i Indian [Messalina]391-messalina 's attribute : rooted disgust at it and [her]391-messalina restrained [me]0-i much , even in pleasure . Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to approach [me]0-i to [her]391-messalina and [her]391-messalina vices , and [I]0-i eschewed it . " Yet [I]0-i could not live alone ; so [I]0-i tried the companionship of [mistresses]6632-mistresses . The first [I]0-i chose was [Celine Varens]281-celine - another of those steps which make [a man]4429-a man spurn [himself]4429-a man when [he]4429-a man recalls them . [You]6634-you already know what [she]281-celine was , and how [my]0-i liaison with [her]281-celine terminated . [She]281-celine had [two successors]6635-two successors : [an Italian]6636-an italian , [Giacinta]392-giacinta , and [a German]6637-a german , [Clara]393-clara ; [both considered singularly handsome]6638-both considered singularly handsome . What was [their]6635-two successors beauty to [me]0-i in a few weeks ? [Giacinta]392-giacinta was unprincipled and violent : [I]0-i tired of [her]392-giacinta in three months . [Clara]393-clara was honest and quiet ; but heavy , mindless , and unimpressible : not one whit to [my]0-i taste . [I]0-i was glad to give [her]393-clara a sufficient sum to set [her]393-clara up in a good line of business , and so get decently rid of [her]393-clara . But , [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i see by [your]146-jane face [you]146-jane are not forming a very favourable opinion of [me]0-i just now . [You]146-jane think [me]0-i [an unfeeling , loose - principled rake]6639-an unfeeling , loose - principled rake : do n't [you]146-jane ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i do n't like [you]146-jane so well as [I]0-i have done sometimes , indeed , [sir]4374-sir . Did it not seem to [you]146-jane in the least wrong to live in that way , first with [one mistress]6641-one mistress and then another ? [You]146-jane talk of it as a mere matter of course . "[0-i] " It was with [me]0-i ; and [I]0-i did not like it . It was a grovelling fashion of existence : [I]0-i should never like to return to it . Hiring [a mistress]6642-a mistress is the next worse thing to buying [a slave]1106-a slave : both are often by nature , and always by position , inferior : and to live familiarly with [inferiors]6644-inferiors is degrading . [I]0-i now hate the recollection of the time [I]0-i passed with [Celine]281-celine , [Giacinta]392-giacinta , and [Clara]393-clara . "[0-i] [I]0-i felt the truth of these words ; and [I]0-i drew from them the certain inference , that if [I]0-i were so far to forget [myself]0-i and all the teaching that had ever been instilled into [me]0-i , as - under any pretext - with any justification - through any temptation - to become [the successor of [these poor girls]3185-these poor girls]3184-the successor of these poor girls , [he]3186-he would one day regard [me]0-i with the same feeling which now in [his]3186-he mind desecrated [their]3185-these poor girls memory . [I]0-i did not give utterance to this conviction : it was enough to feel it . [I]0-i impressed it on [my]0-i heart , that it might remain there to serve [me]0-i as aid in the time of trial . " Now , [Jane]146-jane , why do n't [you]146-jane say ' Well , [sir]4374-sir ? ' [I]0-i have not done . [You]146-jane are looking grave . [You]146-jane disapprove of [me]0-i still , [I]0-i see . But let [me]0-i come to the point . Last January , rid of [all mistresses]6646-all mistresses - in a harsh , bitter frame of mind , the result of a useless , roving , lonely life - corroded with disappointment , sourly disposed against [all men]6647-all men , and especially against [all womankind]6648-all womankind for [I]0-i began to regard the notion of [an intellectual , faithful , loving woman]6649-an intellectual , faithful , loving woman as a mere dream , recalled by business , [I]0-i came back to [England]21-england . "[0-i] On a frosty winter afternoon , [I]0-i rode in sight of [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall . Abhorred spot ! [I]0-i expected no peace - no pleasure there . On a stile in [Hay Lane]5167-hay lane [I]0-i saw a quiet little figure sitting by [itself]3188-it . [I]0-i passed [it]3188-it as negligently as [I]0-i did the pollard willow opposite to [it]3188-it : [I]0-i had no presentiment of what it would be to [me]0-i ; no inward warning that the arbitress of [my]0-i life - [my]0-i genius for good or evil - waited there in humble guise . [I]0-i did not know it , even when , on the occasion of [Mesrour]69-mesrour 's accident , it came up and gravely offered [me]0-i help . Childish and slender creature ! [It]3189-it seemed as if a linnet had hopped to [my]0-i foot and proposed to bear [me]0-i on its tiny wing . [I]0-i was surly ; but the thing would not go : it stood by [me]0-i with strange perseverance , and looked and spoke with a sort of authority . [I]0-i must be aided , and by that hand : and aided [I]0-i was . " When once [I]0-i had pressed the frail shoulder , something new - a fresh sap and sense - stole into [my]0-i frame . It was well [I]0-i had learnt that [this elf]6650-this elf must return to [me]0-i - that it belonged to [[my]0-i house down below]6651-my house down below - or [I]0-i could not have felt it pass away from under [my]0-i hand , and seen it vanish behind the dim hedge , without singular regret . [I]0-i heard [you]0-i come [home]509-home that night , [Jane]146-jane , though probably [you]0-i were not aware that [I]0-i thought of [you]0-i or watched for [you]0-i . The next day [I]0-i observed [you]0-i - [myself]0-i unseen - for half - an - hour , while [you]0-i played with [Adele]259-adele in [the gallery]1740-the gallery . It was a snowy day , [I]0-i recollect , and [you]0-i could not go out of doors . [I]0-i was in [[my]0-i room]4787-my room ; the door was ajar : [I]0-i could both listen and watch . [Adele]259-adele claimed [your]0-i outward attention for a while ; yet [I]0-i fancied [your]0-i thoughts were elsewhere : but [you]0-i were very patient with [her]259-adele , [[my]0-i little [Jane]146-jane]6655-my little jane ; [you]0-i talked to [her]259-adele and amused [her]259-adele a long time . When at last [she]259-adele left [you]0-i , [you]0-i lapsed at once into deep reverie : [you]0-i betook [yourself]0-i slowly to pace [the gallery]1740-the gallery . Now and then , in passing a casement , [you]0-i glanced out at the thick - falling snow ; [you]0-i listened to the sobbing wind , and again [you]0-i paced gently on and dreamed . [I]0-i think those day visions were not dark : there was a pleasurable illumination in [your]0-i eye occasionally , a soft excitement in [your]0-i aspect , which told of no bitter , bilious , hypochondriac brooding : [your]0-i look revealed rather the sweet musings of youth when its spirit follows on willing wings the flight of Hope up and on to an ideal heaven . The voice of [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , speaking to [a servant]4337-a servant in [the hall]608-the hall , wakened [you]0-i : and how curiously [you]0-i smiled to and at [yourself]0-i , [Janet]265-janet ! There was much sense in [your]0-i smile : it was very shrewd , and seemed to make light of [your]0-i own abstraction . It seemed to say - ' [My]0-i fine visions are all very well , but [I]0-i must not forget they are absolutely unreal . [I]0-i have a rosy sky and a green flowery Eden in [my]0-i brain ; but without , [I]0-i am perfectly aware , lies at [my]0-i feet a rough tract to travel , and around [me]0-i gather black tempests to encounter . ' [You]3190-you ran [downstairs]1218-downstairs and demanded of [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax some occupation : [the weekly house]6660-the weekly house accounts to make up , or something of that sort , [I]0-i think it was . [I]0-i was vexed with [you]3190-you for getting out of [my]0-i sight . "[0-i] Impatiently [I]0-i waited for evening , when [I]0-i might summon [you]3190-you to [my]0-i presence . An unusual - to [me]0-i - a perfectly new character [I]0-i suspected was [yours]3190-you : [I]0-i desired to search it deeper and know it better . [You]3190-you entered [the room]535-the room with a look and air at once shy and independent : [you]3190-you were quaintly dressed - much as [you]3190-you are now . [I]0-i made [you]3190-you talk : ere long [I]0-i found [you]3190-you full of strange contrasts . [Your]3190-you garb and manner were restricted by rule ; [your]3190-you air was often diffident , and altogether that of one refined by nature , but absolutely unused to society , and a good deal afraid of making [herself]3192-herself disadvantageously conspicuous by some solecism or blunder ; yet when addressed , [you]3190-you lifted a keen , a daring , and a glowing eye to [[your]3190-you interlocutor]3193-your interlocutor 's face : there was penetration and power in each glance [you]3190-you gave ; when plied by close questions , [you]3190-you found ready and round answers . Very soon [you]3190-you seemed to get used to [me]0-i : [I]0-i believe [you]3190-you felt the existence of sympathy between [you]3190-you and [[your]3190-you grim and cross master]3194-your grim and cross master , [Jane]146-jane ; for it was astonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised [your]3190-you manner : snarl as [I]0-i would , [you]3190-you showed no surprise , fear , annoyance , or displeasure at [my]0-i moroseness ; [you]3190-you watched [me]0-i , and now and then smiled at [me]0-i with a simple yet sagacious grace [I]0-i can not describe . [I]0-i was at once content and stimulated with what [I]0-i saw : [I]0-i liked what [I]0-i had seen , and wished to see more . Yet , for a long time , [I]0-i treated [you]3190-you distantly , and sought [your]3190-you company rarely . [I]0-i was [an intellectual epicure]3195-an intellectual epicure , and wished to prolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant acquaintance : besides , [I]0-i was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if [I]0-i handled the flower freely its bloom would fade - the sweet charm of freshness would leave it . [I]0-i did not then know that it was no transitory blossom , but rather the radiant resemblance of one , cut in an indestructible gem . Moreover , [I]0-i wished to see whether [you]3190-you would seek [me]0-i if [I]0-i shunned [you]3190-you - but [you]3190-you did not ; [you]3190-you kept in [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom as still as [your]3190-you own desk and easel ; if by chance [I]0-i met [you]3190-you , [you]3190-you passed [me]0-i as soon , and with as little token of recognition , as was consistent with respect . [Your]3190-you habitual expression in those days , [Jane]146-jane , was a thoughtful look ; not despondent , for [you]3190-you were not sickly ; but not buoyant , for [you]3190-you had little hope , and no actual pleasure . [I]0-i wondered what [you]3190-you thought of [me]0-i , or if [you]3190-you ever thought of [me]0-i , and resolved to find this out . " [I]3190-you resumed [my]3190-you notice of [you]3190-you . There was something glad in [your]3190-you glance , and genial in [your]3190-you manner , when [you]3190-you conversed : [I]3190-you saw [you]3190-you had a social heart ; it was [the silent schoolroom]6661-the silent schoolroom - it was the tedium of [your]3190-you life - that made [you]3190-you mournful . [I]3190-you permitted [myself]3190-you the delight of being kind to [you]3190-you ; kindness stirred emotion soon : [your]3190-you face became soft in expression , [your]3190-you tones gentle ; [I]3190-you liked [my]3190-you name pronounced by [your]3190-you lips in a grateful happy accent . [I]3190-you used to enjoy a chance meeting with [you]3190-you , [Jane]146-jane , at this time : there was a curious hesitation in [your]3190-you manner : [you]3190-you glanced at [me]3190-you with a slight trouble - a hovering doubt : [you]3190-you did not know what [my]3190-you caprice might be - whether [I]3190-you was going to play [the master]540-the master and be stern , or [the friend and be benignant]6663-the friend and be benignant . [I]3190-you was now too fond of [you]3190-you often to simulate the first whim ; and , when [I]3190-you stretched [my]3190-you hand out cordially , such bloom and light and bliss rose to [your]3190-you young , wistful features , [I]3190-you had much ado often to avoid straining [you]3190-you then and there to [my]3190-you heart . "[3190-you] " Do n't talk any more of those days , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i interrupted , furtively dashing away some tears from [my]0-i eyes ; [his]3197-my language was torture to [me]0-i ; for [I]0-i knew what [I]0-i must do - and do soon - and all these reminiscences , and these revelations of [his]3197-my feelings only made [my]0-i work more difficult . " No , [Jane]146-jane , "[3197-my] [he]3197-my returned : " what necessity is there to dwell on the Past , when the Present is so much surer - the Future so much brighter ? "[3197-my] [I]0-i shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion . " [You]146-jane see now how the case stands - do [you]146-jane not ? "[3197-my] [he]3197-my continued . " After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude , [I]3197-my have for the first time found what [I]3197-my can truly love - [I]3197-my have found [you]3190-you . [You]3190-you are [my]3197-my sympathy - [[my]3197-my better self]6665-my better self - [[my]3197-my good angel]6666-my good angel . [I]3197-my am bound to [you]3190-you with a strong attachment . [I]3197-my think [you]3190-you good , gifted , lovely : a fervent , a solemn passion is conceived in [my]3197-my heart ; it leans to [you]3190-you , draws [you]3190-you to [my]3197-my centre and spring of life , wraps [my]3197-my existence about [you]3190-you , and , kindling in pure , powerful flame , fuses [you]3190-you and [me]3197-my in one . "[3197-my] It was because [I]0-i felt and knew this , that [I]0-i resolved to marry [you]3198-you . To tell [me]0-i that [I]0-i had already [a wife]5665-a wife is empty mockery : [you]3198-you know now that [I]0-i had but [a hideous demon]3200-a hideous demon . [I]0-i was wrong to attempt to deceive [you]3198-you ; but [I]0-i feared a stubbornness that exists in [your]3198-you character . [I]0-i feared early instilled prejudice : [I]0-i wanted to have [you]3198-you safe before hazarding confidences . This was cowardly : [I]0-i should have appealed to [your]3198-you nobleness and magnanimity at first , as [I]0-i do now - opened to [you]3198-you plainly [my]0-i life of agony - described to [you]3198-you [my]0-i hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier existence - shown to [you]3198-you , not [my]0-i RESOLUTION that word is weak , but [my]0-i resistless BENT to love faithfully and well , where [I]0-i am faithfully and well loved in return . Then [I]0-i should have asked [you]3198-you to accept [my]0-i pledge of fidelity and to give [me]0-i [yours]3198-you . [Jane]146-jane - give it [me]0-i now . " A pause . "[146-jane] Why are [you]146-jane silent , [Jane]146-jane ? " [I]146-jane was experiencing an ordeal : a hand of fiery iron grasped [my]146-jane vitals . Terrible moment : full of struggle , blackness , burning ! [Not a human being that ever lived]6667-not a human being that ever lived could wish to be loved better than [I]146-jane was loved ; and [him]0-i who thus loved [me]146-jane [I]146-jane absolutely worshipped : and [I]146-jane must renounce love and idol . One drear word comprised [my]146-jane intolerable duty - "[146-jane] Depart ! " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane understand what [I]0-i want of [you]146-jane ? Just this promise - ' [I]0-i will be [yours]3198-you , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . ' " "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i will NOT be [yours]3198-you . " Another long silence . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! " recommenced [he]251-mr. rochester , with a gentleness that broke [me]146-jane down with grief , and turned [me]146-jane stone - cold with ominous terror - for this still voice was the pant of a lion rising - "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , do [you]146-jane mean to go one way in [the world]484-the world , and to let [me]0-i go another ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane " bending towards and embracing [me]146-jane , "[146-jane] do [you]146-jane mean it now ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do . " "[0-i] And now ? " softly kissing [my]0-i forehead and cheek . "[0-i] [I]0-i do , " extricating [myself]0-i from restraint rapidly and completely . "[0-i] Oh , [Jane]146-jane , this is bitter ! This - this is wicked . It would not be wicked to love [me]0-i . " "[146-jane] It would to obey [you]146-jane . " A wild look raised [his]251-mr. rochester brows - crossed [his]251-mr. rochester features : [he]251-mr. rochester rose ; but [he]251-mr. rochester forebore yet . [I]146-jane laid [my]146-jane hand on the back of a chair for support : [I]146-jane shook , [I]146-jane feared - but [I]146-jane resolved . "[146-jane] One instant , [Jane]146-jane . Give one glance to [my]0-i horrible life when [you]146-jane are gone . All happiness will be torn away with [you]146-jane . What then is left ? For [a wife]5665-a wife [I]0-i have but [the maniac upstairs]3203-the maniac upstairs : as well might [you]146-jane refer [me]0-i to some corpse in [yonder churchyard]3204-yonder churchyard . What shall [I]0-i do , [Jane]146-jane ? Where turn for [a companion]1021-a companion and for some hope ? " "[0-i] Do as [I]0-i do : trust in [God]180-mrs. fairfax and [yourself]146-jane . Believe in [heaven]4369-heaven . Hope to meet again [there]4426-there . " "[0-i] Then [you]0-i will not yield ? " "[0-i] No . " "[0-i] Then [you]0-i condemn [me]0-i to live wretched and to die accursed ? " [His]0-i voice rose . "[0-i] [I]0-i advise [you]146-jane to live sinless , and [I]0-i wish [you]146-jane to die tranquil . " "[0-i] Then [you]0-i snatch love and innocence from [me]0-i ? [You]0-i fling [me]0-i back on lust for a passion - vice for an occupation ? " "[0-i] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i no more assign this fate to [you]251-mr. rochester than [I]0-i grasp at it for [myself]0-i . [We]3208-we were born to strive and endure - [you]251-mr. rochester as well as [I]0-i : do so . [You]251-mr. rochester will forget [me]0-i before [I]0-i forget [you]251-mr. rochester . " "[251-mr. rochester] [You]251-mr. rochester make [me]0-i [a liar]4746-a liar by such language : [you]251-mr. rochester sully [my]0-i honour . [I]0-i declared [I]0-i could not change : [you]251-mr. rochester tell [me]0-i to [my]0-i face [I]0-i shall change soon . And what a distortion in [your]251-mr. rochester judgment , what a perversity in [your]251-mr. rochester ideas , is proved by [your]251-mr. rochester conduct ! Is it better to drive a fellow - creature to despair than to transgress a mere human law , [no man being injured by the breach]3210-no man being injured by the breach ? for [you]251-mr. rochester have [neither [relatives]5211-relatives nor acquaintances whom [you]251-mr. rochester need fear to offend by living with [me]0-i]3211-neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend by living with me ? " This was true : and while [he]3213-him spoke [my]3213-him very conscience and reason turned [traitors]6668-traitors against [me]3213-him , and charged [me]3213-him with crime in resisting [him]3213-him . [They]6669-they spoke almost as loud as Feeling : and that clamoured wildly . "[3213-him] Oh , comply ! " it said . "[3213-him] Think of [his]3213-him misery ; think of [his]3213-him danger - look at [his]3213-him state when left alone ; remember [his]3213-him headlong nature ; consider the recklessness following on despair - soothe [him]3213-him ; save [him]3213-him ; love [him]3213-him ; tell [him]3213-him [you]251-mr. rochester love [him]3213-him and will be [his]3213-him . Who in [the world]484-the world cares for [YOU]251-mr. rochester ? or who will be injured by what [you]251-mr. rochester do ? " Still indomitable was the reply - "[0-i] [I]0-i care for [myself]0-i . [The more solitary]3215-the more solitary , the more friendless , the more unsustained [I]0-i am , the more [I]0-i will respect [myself]0-i . [I]0-i will keep the law given by [God]180-mrs. fairfax ; sanctioned by [man]4667-man . [I]0-i will hold to the principles received by [me]0-i when [I]0-i was sane , and not mad - as [I]0-i am now . Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation : they are for such moments as this , when body and soul rise in mutiny against [their]3217-they rigour ; stringent are [they]3217-they ; inviolate [they]3217-they shall be . If at [my]0-i individual convenience [I]0-i might break [them]3217-they , what would be [their]3217-they worth ? [They]3217-they have a worth - so [I]0-i have always believed ; and if [I]0-i can not believe it now , it is because [I]0-i am insane - quite insane : with [my]0-i veins running fire , and [my]0-i heart beating faster than [I]0-i can count its throbs . Preconceived opinions , foregone determinations , are all [I]0-i have at this hour to stand by : there [I]0-i plant [my]0-i foot . " [I]0-i did . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , reading [my]0-i countenance , saw [I]0-i had done so . [His]251-mr. rochester fury was wrought to the highest : [he]251-mr. rochester must yield to it for a moment , whatever followed ; [he]251-mr. rochester crossed the floor and seized [my]0-i arm and grasped [my]0-i waist . [He]251-mr. rochester seemed to devour [me]0-i with [his]251-mr. rochester flaming glance : physically , [I]0-i felt , at the moment , powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow of a furnace : mentally , [I]0-i still possessed [my]0-i soul , and with it the certainty of ultimate safety . [The soul]6670-the soul , fortunately , has [an interpreter]6671-an interpreter - often an unconscious , but still [a truthful interpreter]6672-a truthful interpreter - in the eye . [My]0-i eye rose to [his]251-mr. rochester ; and while [I]0-i looked in [his]251-mr. rochester fierce face [I]0-i gave an involuntary sigh ; [his]251-mr. rochester gripe was painful , and [my]0-i over - taxed strength almost exhausted . "[0-i] Never , " said [he]251-mr. rochester , as [he]251-mr. rochester ground [his]251-mr. rochester teeth , "[0-i] never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable . A mere reed [she]3218-her feels in [my]0-i hand ! " And [he]251-mr. rochester shook [me]0-i with the force of [his]251-mr. rochester hold . "[0-i] [I]0-i could bend [her]3218-her with [my]0-i finger and thumb : and what good would it do if [I]0-i bent , if [I]0-i uptore , if [I]0-i crushed [her]3218-her ? Consider that eye : consider the resolute , wild , free thing looking out of it , defying [me]0-i , with more than courage - with a stern triumph . Whatever [I]0-i do with its cage , [I]0-i can not get at it - [the savage , beautiful creature]3219-the savage , beautiful creature ! If [I]0-i tear , if [I]0-i rend the slight prison , [my]0-i outrage will only let [the captive]3220-the captive loose . Conqueror [I]0-i might be of [the house]4322-the house ; but [the inmate]3222-the inmate would escape to [heaven]4369-heaven before [I]0-i could call [myself]0-i possessor of [[its]4322-the house clay dwelling - place]3224-its clay dwelling - place . And it is [you]3225-you , spirit - with will and energy , and virtue and purity - that [I]0-i want : not alone [your]3225-you brittle frame . Of [yourself]3225-you [you]3225-you could come with soft flight and nestle against [my]0-i heart , if [you]3225-you would : seized against [your]3225-you will , [you]3225-you will elude the grasp like an essence - [you]3225-you will vanish ere [I]0-i inhale [your]3225-you fragrance . Oh ! come , [Jane]146-jane , come ! " As [he]0-i said this , [he]0-i released [me]146-jane from [his]0-i clutch , and only looked at [me]146-jane . The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain : only [an idiot]6673-an idiot , however , would have succumbed now . [I]146-jane had dared and baffled [his]0-i fury ; [I]146-jane must elude [his]0-i sorrow : [I]146-jane retired to the door . "[146-jane] [You]0-i are going , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] [I]0-i am going , [sir]4374-sir . " "[146-jane] [You]0-i are leaving [me]0-i ? " "[0-i] Yes . " "[0-i] [You]0-i will not come ? [You]0-i will not be [[my]0-i comforter]3227-my comforter , [[my]0-i rescuer]3228-my rescuer ? [My]0-i deep love , [my]0-i wild woe , [my]0-i frantic prayer , are all nothing to [you]0-i ? " What unutterable pathos was in [his]0-i voice ! How hard it was to reiterate firmly , "[0-i] [I]0-i am going . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! " "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ! " "[251-mr. rochester] Withdraw , then , - [I]0-i consent ; but remember , [you]0-i leave [me]0-i [here]4312-here in anguish . Go up to [[your]146-jane own room]5417-your own room ; think over all [I]0-i have said , and , [Jane]146-jane , cast a glance on [my]0-i sufferings - think of [me]0-i . " [He]0-i turned away ; [he]0-i threw [himself]0-i on [his]0-i face on the sofa . "[146-jane] Oh , [Jane]146-jane ! [my]0-i hope - [my]0-i love - [my]0-i life ! " broke in anguish from [his]0-i lips . Then came a deep , strong sob . [I]146-jane had already gained the door ; but , [reader]496-reader , [I]146-jane walked back - walked back as determinedly as [I]146-jane had retreated . [I]146-jane knelt down by [him]0-i ; [I]146-jane turned [his]0-i face from the cushion to [me]146-jane ; [I]146-jane kissed [his]0-i cheek ; [I]146-jane smoothed [his]0-i hair with [my]146-jane hand . "[146-jane] God bless [you]0-i , [[my]0-i dear master]6247-my dear master ! " [I]180-mrs. fairfax said . "[180-mrs. fairfax] [God]180-mrs. fairfax keep [you]0-i from harm and wrong - direct [you]0-i , solace [you]0-i - reward [you]0-i well for [your]0-i past kindness to [me]0-i . " "[395-little jane] [Little Jane]395-little jane 's love would have been [my]0-i best reward , " [he]0-i answered ; "[395-little jane] without it , [my]0-i heart is broken . But [Jane]395-little jane will give [me]0-i [her]395-little jane love : yes - nobly , generously . " Up the blood rushed to [his]0-i face ; forth flashed the fire from [his]0-i eyes ; erect [he]0-i sprang ; [he]0-i held [his]0-i arms out ; but [I]395-little jane evaded the embrace , and at once quitted [the room]535-the room . "[395-little jane] Farewell ! " was the cry of [my]395-little jane heart as [I]395-little jane left [him]0-i . [Despair]396-despair added , "[395-little jane] Farewell for ever ! " That night [I]5378-my daughter never thought to sleep ; but a slumber fell on [me]5378-my daughter as soon as [I]5378-my daughter lay down in bed . [I]5378-my daughter was transported in thought to the scenes of childhood : [I]5378-my daughter dreamt [I]5378-my daughter lay in [the red - room at [Gateshead]20-gateshead]6676-the red - room at gateshead ; that the night was dark , and [my]5378-my daughter mind impressed with strange fears . The light that long ago had struck [me]5378-my daughter into syncope , recalled in this vision , seemed glidingly to mount the wall , and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured ceiling . [I]5378-my daughter lifted up [my]5378-my daughter head to look : the roof resolved to clouds , high and dim ; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours [she]5378-my daughter is about to sever . [I]5378-my daughter watched [her]5378-my daughter come - watched with the strangest anticipation ; as though some word of doom were to be written on [her]5378-my daughter disk . [She]5378-my daughter broke forth as never moon yet burst from cloud : a hand first penetrated the sable folds and waved them away ; then , not a moon , but a white human form shone in the azure , inclining a glorious brow earthward . [It]5378-my daughter gazed and gazed on [me]5378-my daughter . It spoke to [my]5378-my daughter spirit : immeasurably distant was the tone , yet so near , it whispered in [my]5378-my daughter heart - "[5378-my daughter] [[My]0-i daughter]5378-my daughter , flee temptation . " "[4387-mother] [Mother]4387-mother , [I]0-i will . " So [I]0-i answered after [I]0-i had waked from the trance - like dream . It was yet night , but July nights are short : soon after midnight , dawn comes . "[0-i] It can not be too early to commence the task [I]0-i have to fulfil , " thought I. [I]0-i rose : [I]0-i was dressed ; for [I]0-i had taken off nothing but [my]0-i shoes . [I]0-i knew where to find in [my]0-i drawers some linen , a locket , a ring . In seeking these articles , [I]0-i encountered the beads of a pearl necklace [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had forced [me]0-i to accept a few days ago . [I]0-i left that ; it was not [mine]5378-my daughter : it was [the visionary bride]6677-the visionary bride 's who had melted in air . The other articles [I]0-i made up in a parcel ; [my]0-i purse , containing twenty shillings it was all [I]0-i had , [I]0-i put in [my]0-i pocket : [I]0-i tied on [my]0-i straw bonnet , pinned [my]0-i shawl , took the parcel and [my]0-i slippers , which [I]0-i would not put on yet , and stole from [[my]0-i room]4787-my room . "[0-i] Farewell , [kind Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax ! " [I]180-mrs. fairfax whispered , as [I]180-mrs. fairfax glided past [her]259-adele door . "[180-mrs. fairfax] Farewell , [[my]0-i darling]6201-my darling [Adele]259-adele ! " [I]251-mr. rochester said , as [I]251-mr. rochester glanced towards [the nursery]571-the nursery . No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace [her]259-adele . [I]251-mr. rochester had to deceive a fine ear : for aught [I]251-mr. rochester knew it might now be listening . [I]251-mr. rochester would have got past [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's chamber]1830-mr. rochester 's chamber without a pause ; but [my]251-mr. rochester heart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold , [my]251-mr. rochester foot was forced to stop also . No sleep was there : [the inmate]3222-the inmate was walking restlessly from wall to wall ; and again and again [he]3222-the inmate sighed while [I]251-mr. rochester listened . There was a heaven - a temporary heaven - in [this room]570-this room for [me]251-mr. rochester , if [I]251-mr. rochester chose : [I]251-mr. rochester had but to go in and to say - "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i will love [you]251-mr. rochester and live with [you]251-mr. rochester through life till death , " and a fount of rapture would spring to [my]251-mr. rochester lips . [I]251-mr. rochester thought of this . [That kind master , who could not sleep now]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now , was waiting with impatience for day . [He]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now would send for [me]251-mr. rochester in the morning ; [I]251-mr. rochester should be gone . [He]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now would have [me]251-mr. rochester sought for : vainly . [He]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now would feel [himself]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now forsaken ; [his]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now love rejected : [he]6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now would suffer ; perhaps grow desperate . [I]251-mr. rochester thought of this too . [My]251-mr. rochester hand moved towards the lock : [I]251-mr. rochester caught it back , and glided on . Drearily [I]251-mr. rochester wound [my]251-mr. rochester way [downstairs]1218-downstairs : [I]251-mr. rochester knew what [I]251-mr. rochester had to do , and [I]251-mr. rochester did it mechanically . [I]251-mr. rochester sought the key of the side - door in [the kitchen]658-the kitchen ; [I]251-mr. rochester sought , too , a phial of oil and a feather ; [I]251-mr. rochester oiled the key and the lock . [I]251-mr. rochester got some water , [I]251-mr. rochester got some bread : for perhaps [I]251-mr. rochester should have to walk far ; and [my]251-mr. rochester strength , sorely shaken of late , must not break down . All this [I]251-mr. rochester did without one sound . [I]251-mr. rochester opened the door , passed out , shut it softly . Dim dawn glimmered in [the yard]2370-the yard . The great gates were closed and locked ; but a wicket in one of them was only latched . Through that [I]251-mr. rochester departed : [it]6687-it , too , [I]251-mr. rochester shut ; and now [I]251-mr. rochester was out of [Thornfield]43-thornfield . A mile off , beyond [the fields]6688-the fields , lay [a road which stretched in the contrary direction to [Millcote]44-millcote]6689-a road which stretched in the contrary direction to millcote ; [a road [I]251-mr. rochester had never travelled , but often noticed , and wondered where it led]6690-a road i had never travelled , but often noticed , and wondered where it led : thither [I]251-mr. rochester bent [my]251-mr. rochester steps . No reflection was to be allowed now : not one glance was to be cast back ; not even one forward . Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future . The first was a page so heavenly sweet - so deadly sad - that to read one line of it would dissolve [my]251-mr. rochester courage and break down [my]251-mr. rochester energy . The last was an awful blank : something like the world when the deluge was gone by . [I]251-mr. rochester skirted [fields]6691-fields , and hedges , and lanes till after sunrise . [I]251-mr. rochester believe it was a lovely summer morning : [I]251-mr. rochester know [my]251-mr. rochester shoes , which [I]251-mr. rochester had put on when [I]251-mr. rochester left [the house]4322-the house , were soon wet with dew . But [I]251-mr. rochester looked neither to rising sun , nor smiling sky , nor wakening nature . [He]6693-his who is taken out to pass through a fair scene to the scaffold , thinks not of the flowers that smile on [[his]6693-his road]6694-his road , but of the block and axe - edge ; of the disseverment of bone and vein ; of the grave gaping at the end : and [I]251-mr. rochester thought of drear flight and homeless wandering - and oh ! with agony [I]251-mr. rochester thought of what [I]251-mr. rochester left . [I]251-mr. rochester could not help it . [I]251-mr. rochester thought of [him]6693-his now - in [[his]6693-his room]1844-his room - watching the sunrise ; hoping [I]251-mr. rochester should soon come to say [I]251-mr. rochester would stay with [him]6693-his and be [his]6693-his . [I]251-mr. rochester longed to be [his]6693-his ; [I]251-mr. rochester panted to return : it was not too late ; [I]251-mr. rochester could yet spare [him]6693-his the bitter pang of bereavement . As yet [my]251-mr. rochester flight , [I]251-mr. rochester was sure , was undiscovered . [I]251-mr. rochester could go back and be [his]6693-his comforter - [his]6693-his pride ; [his]6693-his redeemer from misery , perhaps from ruin . Oh , that fear of [his]6693-his self - abandonment - far worse than [my]251-mr. rochester abandonment - how it goaded [me]251-mr. rochester ! It was a barbed arrow - head in [my]251-mr. rochester breast ; it tore [me]251-mr. rochester when [I]251-mr. rochester tried to extract it ; it sickened [me]251-mr. rochester when remembrance thrust it farther in . [Birds]4-british birds began singing in brake and copse : [birds]6696-birds were faithful to [[their]6696-birds mates]6697-their mates ; birds were emblems of love . What was [I]251-mr. rochester ? In the midst of [my]251-mr. rochester pain of heart and frantic effort of principle , [I]251-mr. rochester abhorred [myself]251-mr. rochester . [I]251-mr. rochester had no solace from self- approbation : none even from self - respect . [I]251-mr. rochester had injured - wounded - left [[my]251-mr. rochester master]4336-my master . [I]251-mr. rochester was hateful in [my]251-mr. rochester own eyes . Still [I]251-mr. rochester could not turn , nor retrace one step . [God]180-mrs. fairfax must have led [me]251-mr. rochester on . As to [my]251-mr. rochester own will or conscience , impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled the other . [I]251-mr. rochester was weeping wildly as [I]251-mr. rochester walked along [my]251-mr. rochester solitary way : fast , fast [I]251-mr. rochester went like one delirious . A weakness , beginning inwardly , extending to the limbs , seized [me]251-mr. rochester , and [I]251-mr. rochester fell : [I]251-mr. rochester lay on the ground some minutes , pressing [my]251-mr. rochester face to the wet turf . [I]251-mr. rochester had some fear - or hope - that here [I]251-mr. rochester should die : but [I]251-mr. rochester was soon up ; crawling forwards on [my]251-mr. rochester hands and knees , and then again raised to [my]251-mr. rochester feet - as eager and as determined as ever to reach [the road]4892-the road . When [I]251-mr. rochester got [there]4426-there , [I]251-mr. rochester was forced to sit to rest [me]251-mr. rochester under the hedge ; and while [I]251-mr. rochester sat , [I]251-mr. rochester heard wheels , and saw [a coach]835-a coach come on . [I]251-mr. rochester stood up and lifted [my]251-mr. rochester hand ; it stopped . [I]251-mr. rochester asked where it was going : [the driver]1393-the driver named [a place a long way off]6703-a place a long way off , and where [I]251-mr. rochester was sure [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester had no connections . [I]251-mr. rochester asked for what sum [he]251-mr. rochester would take [me]251-mr. rochester [there]4426-there ; [he]251-mr. rochester said thirty shillings ; [I]251-mr. rochester answered [I]251-mr. rochester had but twenty ; well , [he]251-mr. rochester would try to make it do . [He]251-mr. rochester further gave [me]251-mr. rochester leave to get into the inside , as [the vehicle]1356-the vehicle was empty : [I]251-mr. rochester entered , was shut in , and it rolled on its way . [Gentle reader]6706-gentle reader , may [you]6706-gentle reader never feel what [I]251-mr. rochester then felt ! May [your]6706-gentle reader eyes never shed such stormy , scalding , heart - wrung tears as poured from [mine]251-mr. rochester . May [you]6706-gentle reader never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that hour left [my]251-mr. rochester lips ; for never may [you]6706-gentle reader , like [me]251-mr. rochester , dread to be the instrument of evil to what [you]6706-gentle reader wholly love . CHAPTER XXVIII Two days are passed . It is a summer evening ; [the coachman]4912-the coachman has set [me]251-mr. rochester down at [a place called [Whitcross]99-whitcross]6708-a place called whitcross ; [he]251-mr. rochester could take [me]251-mr. rochester no farther for the sum [I]251-mr. rochester had given , and [I]251-mr. rochester was not possessed of another shilling in [the world]484-the world . [The coach]853-the coach is a mile off by this time ; [I]251-mr. rochester am alone . At this moment [I]251-mr. rochester discover that [I]251-mr. rochester forgot to take [my]251-mr. rochester parcel out of the pocket of [the coach]853-the coach , where [I]251-mr. rochester had placed it for safety ; there it remains , there it must remain ; and now , [I]251-mr. rochester am absolutely destitute . [Whitcross]99-whitcross is [no town]6712-no town , nor even [a hamlet]6713-a hamlet ; [it]99-whitcross is but a stone pillar set up where [four roads meet]6714-four roads meet : whitewashed , [I]251-mr. rochester suppose , to be more obvious at a distance and in darkness . Four arms spring from [its]99-whitcross summit : [the nearest town to which these point]6715-the nearest town to which these point is , according to the inscription , distant ten miles ; the farthest , above twenty . From the well - known names of [these towns]6716-these towns [I]251-mr. rochester learn in [what county [I]251-mr. rochester have lighted]6717-what county i have lighted ; [a north - midland shire]6718-a north - midland shire , dusk with [moorland , ridged with mountain]6719-moorland , ridged with mountain : this [I]251-mr. rochester see . There are great moors behind and on each hand of [me]251-mr. rochester ; there are waves of mountains far beyond [that deep valley]6720-that deep valley at [my]251-mr. rochester feet . [The population here]6721-the population here must be thin , and [I]251-mr. rochester see [no passengers]6722-no passengers on [these roads]6723-these roads : [they]6723-these roads stretch out east , west , north , and south - white , broad , lonely ; [they]6723-these roads are all cut in [the moor]5303-the moor , and the heather grows deep and wild to their very verge . Yet [a chance traveller]6725-a chance traveller might pass by ; and [I]251-mr. rochester wish no eye to see [me]251-mr. rochester now : [strangers]1704-strangers would wonder what [I]251-mr. rochester am doing , lingering here at the sign - post , evidently objectless and lost . [I]251-mr. rochester might be questioned : [I]251-mr. rochester could give no answer but what would sound incredible and excite suspicion . Not a tie holds [me]251-mr. rochester to [human society]6727-human society at this moment - not a charm or hope calls [me]251-mr. rochester where [my]251-mr. rochester fellow - creatures are - none that saw [me]251-mr. rochester would have a kind thought or a good wish for [me]251-mr. rochester . [I]251-mr. rochester have [no relative]6728-no relative but [the universal mother , Nature]6729-the universal mother , nature : [I]251-mr. rochester will seek [her]6729-the universal mother , nature breast and ask repose . [I]251-mr. rochester struck straight into [the heath]6730-the heath ; [I]251-mr. rochester held on to a hollow [I]251-mr. rochester saw deeply furrowing [the brown moorside]6731-the brown moorside ; [I]251-mr. rochester waded knee - deep in [its]6731-the brown moorside dark growth ; [I]251-mr. rochester turned with its turnings , and finding a moss - blackened granite crag in a hidden angle , [I]251-mr. rochester sat down under it . [High banks of moor]6732-high banks of moor were about [me]251-mr. rochester ; the crag protected [my]251-mr. rochester head : the sky was over that . Some time passed before [I]251-mr. rochester felt tranquil even here : [I]251-mr. rochester had a vague dread that wild cattle might be near , or that [some sportsman]6733-some sportsman or [poacher]6734-poacher might discover [me]251-mr. rochester . If a gust of wind swept [the waste]6735-the waste , [I]251-mr. rochester looked up , fearing it was the rush of a bull ; if a plover whistled , [I]251-mr. rochester imagined it [a man]4429-a man . Finding [my]251-mr. rochester apprehensions unfounded , however , and calmed by the deep silence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall , [I]251-mr. rochester took confidence . As yet [I]251-mr. rochester had not thought ; [I]251-mr. rochester had only listened , watched , dreaded ; now [I]251-mr. rochester regained the faculty of reflection . What was [I]251-mr. rochester to do ? Where to go ? Oh , intolerable questions , when [I]251-mr. rochester could do nothing and go nowhere ! - when a long way must yet be measured by [my]251-mr. rochester weary , trembling limbs before [I]251-mr. rochester could reach human habitation - when cold charity must be entreated before [I]251-mr. rochester could get a lodging : reluctant sympathy importuned , almost certain repulse incurred , before [my]251-mr. rochester tale could be listened to , or one of [my]251-mr. rochester wants relieved ! [I]251-mr. rochester touched the heath , it was dry , and yet warm with the beat of the summer day . [I]251-mr. rochester looked at the sky ; it was pure : a kindly star twinkled just above [the chasm ridge]6737-the chasm ridge . The dew fell , but with propitious softness ; no breeze whispered . Nature seemed to [me]251-mr. rochester benign and good ; [I]251-mr. rochester thought [she]6738-her loved [me]251-mr. rochester , outcast as [I]251-mr. rochester was ; and [I]251-mr. rochester , who from [man]4667-man could anticipate only mistrust , rejection , insult , clung to [her]6738-her with filial fondness . To - night , at least , [I]251-mr. rochester would be [[her]6738-her guest]6740-her guest , as [I]251-mr. rochester was [[her]6738-her child]5380-her child : [[my]251-mr. rochester mother]612-my mother would lodge [me]251-mr. rochester without money and without price . [I]251-mr. rochester had one morsel of bread yet : the remnant of a roll [I]251-mr. rochester had bought in [a town [we]6744-we passed through]6743-a town we passed through at noon with a stray penny - [my]251-mr. rochester last coin . [I]251-mr. rochester saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and there , like jet beads in the heath : [I]251-mr. rochester gathered a handful and ate them with the bread . [My]251-mr. rochester hunger , sharp before , was , if not satisfied , appeased by [this hermit]6745-this hermit 's meal . [I]251-mr. rochester said [my]251-mr. rochester evening prayers at its conclusion , and then chose [[my]251-mr. rochester couch]1424-my couch . Beside the crag the heath was very deep : when [I]251-mr. rochester lay down [my]251-mr. rochester feet were buried in it ; rising high on each side , it left only a narrow space for the night - air to invade . [I]251-mr. rochester folded [my]251-mr. rochester shawl double , and spread it over [me]251-mr. rochester for a coverlet ; a low , mossy swell was [my]251-mr. rochester pillow . Thus lodged , [I]251-mr. rochester was not , at least - at the commencement of the night , cold . [My]251-mr. rochester rest might have been blissful enough , only a sad heart broke it . [It]6747-it plained of its gaping wounds , its inward bleeding , its riven chords . It trembled for [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester and [his]251-mr. rochester doom ; it bemoaned [him]251-mr. rochester with bitter pity ; it demanded [him]251-mr. rochester with ceaseless longing ; and , impotent as a bird with both wings broken , it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain attempts to seek [him]251-mr. rochester . Worn out with this torture of thought , [I]251-mr. rochester rose to [my]251-mr. rochester knees . Night was come , and [her]6748-her planets were risen : a safe , still night : too serene for the companionship of fear . [We]6749-we know that [God]180-mrs. fairfax is everywhere ; but certainly [we]6749-we feel [His]251-mr. rochester presence most when [His]251-mr. rochester works are on the grandest scale spread before [us]6749-we ; and it is in the unclouded night - sky , where [His]251-mr. rochester worlds wheel their silent course , that [we]6749-we read clearest [His]251-mr. rochester infinitude , [His]251-mr. rochester omnipotence , [His]251-mr. rochester omnipresence . [I]251-mr. rochester had risen to [my]251-mr. rochester knees to pray for [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . Looking up , [I]251-mr. rochester , with tear - dimmed eyes , saw the mighty Milky - way . Remembering what it was - what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light - [I]251-mr. rochester felt the might and strength of [God]180-mrs. fairfax . Sure was [I]251-mr. rochester of [His]251-mr. rochester efficiency to save what [He]251-mr. rochester had made : convinced [I]251-mr. rochester grew that neither [earth]478-earth should perish , nor one of the souls [it]478-earth treasured . [I]251-mr. rochester turned [my]251-mr. rochester prayer to thanksgiving : the Source of Life was also [the Saviour of spirits]6751-the saviour of spirits . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was safe ; [he]251-mr. rochester was [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's , and by [God]180-mrs. fairfax would [he]251-mr. rochester be guarded . [I]251-mr. rochester again nestled to [the breast of [the hill]4854-the hill]6752-the breast of the hill ; and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow . But next day , [Want]398-want came to [me]251-mr. rochester pale and bare . Long after the little birds had left [their]6754-their nests ; long after bees had come in the sweet prime of day to gather the heath honey before the dew was dried - when the long morning shadows were curtailed , and the sun filled earth and sky - [I]251-mr. rochester got up , and [I]251-mr. rochester looked round [me]251-mr. rochester . What a still , hot , perfect day ! What a golden desert this spreading moor ! Everywhere sunshine . [I]251-mr. rochester wished [I]251-mr. rochester could live in [it]6755-it and on [it]6755-it . [I]251-mr. rochester saw a lizard run over [the crag]6756-the crag ; [I]251-mr. rochester saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries . [I]251-mr. rochester would fain at the moment have become [bee or lizard]6757-bee or lizard , that [I]251-mr. rochester might have found fitting nutriment , permanent shelter here . But [I]251-mr. rochester was [a human being]2921-a human being , and had [a human being]2921-a human being 's wants : [I]251-mr. rochester must not linger where there was nothing to supply [them]398-want . [I]251-mr. rochester rose ; [I]251-mr. rochester looked back at the bed [I]251-mr. rochester had left . [Hopeless of the future]6760-hopeless of the future , [I]251-mr. rochester wished but this - that [[my]251-mr. rochester Maker]6198-my maker had that night thought good to require [my]251-mr. rochester soul of [me]251-mr. rochester while [I]251-mr. rochester slept ; and that [this weary frame , absolved by death from further conflict with fate]6762-this weary frame , absolved by death from further conflict with fate , had now but to decay quietly , and mingle in peace with the soil of [this wilderness]6763-this wilderness . Life , however , was yet in [my]251-mr. rochester possession , with all its requirements , and pains , and responsibilities . The burden must be carried ; the want provided for ; the suffering endured ; the responsibility fulfilled . [I]251-mr. rochester set out . [Whitcross regained]99-whitcross , [I]251-mr. rochester followed [a road]6764-a road which led from the sun , now fervent and high . By no other circumstance had [I]251-mr. rochester will to decide [my]251-mr. rochester choice . [I]251-mr. rochester walked a long time , and when [I]251-mr. rochester thought [I]251-mr. rochester had nearly done enough , and might conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered [me]251-mr. rochester - might relax this forced action , and , sitting down on a stone [I]251-mr. rochester saw near , submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb - [I]251-mr. rochester heard a bell chime - a church bell . [I]251-mr. rochester turned in the direction of the sound , and there , amongst [the romantic hills , whose changes and aspect [I]251-mr. rochester had ceased to note an hour ago]6765-the romantic hills , whose changes and aspect i had ceased to note an hour ago , [I]251-mr. rochester saw [a hamlet]6713-a hamlet and [a spire]6767-a spire . [All [the valley]6769-the valley at [my]251-mr. rochester right hand]6768-all the valley at my right hand was full of [pasture - fields]6770-pasture - fields , and [cornfields]6771-cornfields , and wood ; and [a glittering stream]6772-a glittering stream ran zig - zag through the varied shades of green , the mellowing grain , [the sombre woodland]6773-the sombre woodland , [the clear and sunny lea]6774-the clear and sunny lea . Recalled by the rumbling of wheels to the road before [me]251-mr. rochester , [I]251-mr. rochester saw a heavily - laden waggon labouring up [the hill]4854-the hill , and not far beyond were two cows and [their]6776-their drover . Human life and human labour were near . [I]251-mr. rochester must struggle on : strive to live and bend to toil like the rest . About two o'clock p.m. [I]251-mr. rochester entered [the village]6777-the village . At the bottom of [[its]6777-the village one street]6778-its one street there was [a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window]6779-a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window . [I]251-mr. rochester coveted a cake of bread . With that refreshment [I]251-mr. rochester could perhaps regain a degree of energy : without it , it would be difficult to proceed . The wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to [me]251-mr. rochester as soon as [I]251-mr. rochester was amongst [[my]251-mr. rochester fellow - beings]6780-my fellow - beings . [I]251-mr. rochester felt it would be degrading to faint with hunger on [the causeway of [a hamlet]6713-a hamlet]6781-the causeway of a hamlet . Had [I]251-mr. rochester nothing about [me]251-mr. rochester [I]251-mr. rochester could offer in exchange for one of these rolls ? [I]251-mr. rochester considered . [I]251-mr. rochester had a small silk handkerchief tied round [my]251-mr. rochester throat ; [I]251-mr. rochester had [my]251-mr. rochester gloves . [I]251-mr. rochester could hardly tell how [men]482-men and [women in extremities of destitution]6784-women in extremities of destitution proceeded . [I]251-mr. rochester did not know whether either of these articles would be accepted : probably they would not ; but [I]251-mr. rochester must try . [I]251-mr. rochester entered [the shop]6785-the shop : [a woman]4399-a woman was there . Seeing [a respectably - dressed person]6787-a respectably - dressed person , [a lady as [she]4399-a woman supposed]6788-a lady as she supposed , [she]4399-a woman came forward with civility . How could [she]4399-a woman serve [me]251-mr. rochester ? [I]251-mr. rochester was seized with shame : [my]251-mr. rochester tongue would not utter the request [I]251-mr. rochester had prepared . [I]251-mr. rochester dared not offer [her]4399-a woman the half - worn gloves , the creased handkerchief : besides , [I]251-mr. rochester felt it would be absurd . [I]251-mr. rochester only begged permission to sit down a moment , as [I]251-mr. rochester was tired . Disappointed in the expectation of [a customer]6789-a customer , [she]4399-a woman coolly acceded to [my]251-mr. rochester request . [She]4399-a woman pointed to a seat ; [I]251-mr. rochester sank into it . [I]251-mr. rochester felt sorely urged to weep ; but conscious how unseasonable such a manifestation would be , [I]251-mr. rochester restrained it . Soon [I]251-mr. rochester asked [her]4399-a woman "[251-mr. rochester] if there were [any dressmaker]3235-any dressmaker or [plain - workwoman in [the village]6777-the village]3236-plain - workwoman in the village ? " "[3235-any dressmaker] Yes ; two or three . Quite as many as there was employment for . " [I]3238-i reflected . [I]3238-i was driven to the point now . [I]3238-i was brought face to face with Necessity . [I]3238-i stood in the position of [one without a resource]6790-one without a resource , without [a friend]5395-a friend , without a coin . [I]3238-i must do something . What ? [I]3238-i must apply somewhere . Where ? "[3238-i] Did [she]3238-i know of any place in [the neighbourhood where [a servant]4337-a servant was wanted]3239-the neighbourhood where a servant was wanted ? " "[3238-i] Nay ; [she]3238-i could n't say . " "[3238-i] What was the chief trade in [this place]2979-this place ? What did [most of [the people]3243-the people]3242-most of the people do ? " "[1182-some] [Some]1182-some were [farm labourers]3245-farm labourers ; a good deal worked at [[Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver 's needle - factory]3246-mr. oliver 's needle - factory , and at [the foundry]3247-the foundry . " "[399-mr. oliver] Did [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver employ [women]671-women ? " "[399-mr. oliver] Nay ; it was [men]482-men 's work . " "[482-men] And what do [the women]3250-the women do ? " "[3250-the women] [I]0-i knawn't , " was the answer . "[0-i] [Some]1182-some does one thing , and some another . [Poor folk]3252-poor folk mun get on as [they]3252-poor folk can . " [She]3238-i seemed to be tired of [my]3252-poor folk questions : and , indeed , what claim had [I]3252-poor folk to importune [her]3238-i ? [A neighbour or two]6792-a neighbour or two came in ; [my]3252-poor folk chair was evidently wanted . [I]3252-poor folk took leave . [I]3252-poor folk passed up [the street]6793-the street , looking as [I]3252-poor folk went at all [the houses]6794-the houses to the right hand and to the left ; but [I]3252-poor folk could discover no pretext , nor see an inducement to enter any . [I]3252-poor folk rambled round [the hamlet]6795-the hamlet , going sometimes to a little distance and returning again , for an hour or more . Much exhausted , and suffering greatly now for want of food , [I]3252-poor folk turned aside into [a lane]6796-a lane and sat down under the hedge . Ere many minutes had elapsed , [I]3252-poor folk was again on [my]3252-poor folk feet , however , and again searching something - [a resource]6797-a resource , or at least [an informant]6798-an informant . [A pretty little house]6799-a pretty little house stood at the top of [the lane]1619-the lane , with a garden before [it]6799-a pretty little house , exquisitely neat and brilliantly blooming . [I]3252-poor folk stopped at [it]6799-a pretty little house . What business had [I]3252-poor folk to approach the white door or touch the glittering knocker ? In what way could it possibly be the interest of [the inhabitants of [that dwelling]6802-that dwelling]6801-the inhabitants of that dwelling to serve [me]3252-poor folk ? Yet [I]3252-poor folk drew near and knocked . [A mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman opened the door . In such a voice as might be expected from a hopeless heart and fainting frame - a voice wretchedly low and faltering - [I]3252-poor folk asked if [a servant]4337-a servant was wanted [here]4312-here ? "[3252-poor folk] No , " said [she]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman ; "[3252-poor folk] [we]3253-we do not keep [a servant]4337-a servant . " "[4337-a servant] Can [you]3255-i tell [me]0-i where [I]0-i could get employment of any kind ? " [I]3255-i continued . "[3255-i] [I]0-i am [a stranger]799-a stranger , without acquaintance in [this place]2979-this place . [I]0-i want some work : no matter what . " But it was not [her]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman business to think for [me]3255-i , or to seek a place for [me]3255-i : besides , in [her]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman eyes , how doubtful must have appeared [my]3255-i character , position , tale . [She]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman shook [her]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman head , [she]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman "[3255-i] was sorry [she]3255-i could give [me]0-i no information , " and the white door closed , quite gently and civilly : but it shut [me]3255-i out . If [she]6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman had held it open a little longer , [I]3255-i believe [I]3255-i should have begged a piece of bread ; for [I]3255-i was now brought low . [I]3255-i could not bear to return to [the sordid village]6806-the sordid village , where , besides , no prospect of aid was visible . [I]3255-i should have longed rather to deviate to a wood [I]3255-i saw [not far off]6807-not far off , which appeared in [its]6807-not far off [thick shade to offer inviting shelter]6808-thick shade to offer inviting shelter ; but [I]3255-i was so sick , so weak , so gnawed with nature 's cravings , instinct kept [me]3255-i roaming round abodes where there was a chance of food . Solitude would be no solitude - rest no rest - while the vulture , hunger , thus sank beak and talons in [my]3255-i side . [I]3255-i drew near [houses]665-houses ; [I]3255-i left them , and came back again , and again [I]3255-i wandered away : always repelled by the consciousness of having no claim to ask - no right to expect interest in [[my]3255-i isolated lot]6810-my isolated lot . Meantime , the afternoon advanced , while [I]3255-i thus wandered about like a lost and starving dog . In crossing [a field]1607-a field , [I]3255-i saw [the church spire before [me]3255-i]6812-the church spire before me : [I]3255-i hastened towards [it]6812-the church spire before me . Near [the churchyard]4363-the churchyard , and in the middle of [a garden]6814-a garden , stood [a well - built though small house , which [I]3255-i had no doubt was [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage]6815-a well - built though small house , which i had no doubt was the parsonage . [I]3255-i remembered that [[strangers]1704-strangers who arrive at [a place where [they]1704-strangers have [no friends]1288-no friends , and who want employment]6819-a place where they have no friends , and who want employment , sometimes apply to [the clergyman for introduction and aid]6821-the clergyman for introduction and aid . It is [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman 's function to help - at least with advice - [those who wished to help [themselves]6823-those who wished to help themselves]6823-those who wished to help themselves . [I]3255-i seemed to have something like a right to seek counsel [here]4312-here]6818-strangers who arrive at a place where they have no friends , and who want employment , sometimes apply to the clergyman for introduction and aid . it is the clergyman 's function to help - at least with advice - those who wished to help themselves . i seemed to have something like a right to seek counsel here . Renewing then [my]3255-i courage , and gathering [my]3255-i feeble remains of strength , [I]3255-i pushed on . [I]3255-i reached [the house]4322-the house , and knocked at the [kitchen]572-kitchen - door . [An old woman]6827-an old woman opened : [I]3255-i asked was this [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage ? "[3255-i] Yes . " "[3255-i] Was [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman in ? " "[6499-the clergyman] No . " "[6499-the clergyman] Would [he]6499-the clergyman be in soon ? " "[6499-the clergyman] No , [he]6499-the clergyman was gone from [home]509-home . " "[6499-the clergyman] To a distance ? " "[6499-the clergyman] Not so far - happen three mile . [He]6499-the clergyman had been called away by the sudden death of [[his]6499-the clergyman father]5218-his father : [he]6499-the clergyman was at [Marsh End]101-marsh end now , and would very likely stay [there]4426-there a fortnight longer . " "[6499-the clergyman] Was there [any lady of [the house]4322-the house]3262-any lady of the house ? " "[3262-any lady of the house] Nay , there was naught but [her]3262-any lady of the house , and [she]3262-any lady of the house was [housekeeper]750-housekeeper ; " and of [her]3262-any lady of the house , [reader]496-reader , [I]3262-any lady of the house could not bear to ask the relief for want of which [I]3262-any lady of the house was sinking ; [I]3262-any lady of the house could not yet beg ; and again [I]3262-any lady of the house crawled away . Once more [I]3262-any lady of the house took off [my]3262-any lady of the house handkerchief - once more [I]3262-any lady of the house thought of the cakes of bread in [the little shop]6830-the little shop . Oh , for but a crust ! for but one mouthful to allay the pang of famine ! Instinctively [I]3262-any lady of the house turned [my]3262-any lady of the house face again to [the village]6777-the village ; [I]3262-any lady of the house found [the shop]6785-the shop again , and [I]3262-any lady of the house went in ; and though [others]1041-others were there besides [the woman]1963-the woman [I]3262-any lady of the house ventured the request - "[3262-any lady of the house] Would [she]3265-i give [me]0-i a roll for this handkerchief ? " [She]3265-i looked at [me]3265-i with evident suspicion : "[3265-i] Nay , [she]3265-i never sold stuff [i]0-i ' that way . " Almost desperate , [I]3265-i asked for half a cake ; [she]3265-i again refused . "[3265-i] How could [she]3265-i tell where [I]0-i had got the handkerchief ? " [she]3265-i said . "[3265-i] Would [she]3265-i take [my]0-i gloves ? " "[3265-i] No ! what could [she]3265-i do with them ? " [Reader]387-reader , it is not pleasant to dwell on these details . [Some]1182-some say there is enjoyment in looking back to painful experience past ; but at this day [I]3265-i can scarcely bear to review the times to which [I]3265-i allude : the moral degradation , blent with the physical suffering , form too distressing a recollection ever to be willingly dwelt on . [I]3265-i blamed none of those who repulsed [me]3265-i . [I]3265-i felt it was what was to be expected , and what could not be helped : [an ordinary beggar]6836-an ordinary beggar is frequently an object of suspicion ; [a well - dressed beggar]6837-a well - dressed beggar inevitably so . To be sure , what [I]3265-i begged was employment ; but whose business was it to provide [me]3265-i with employment ? Not , certainly , that of [persons who saw [me]3265-i then for the first time , and who knew nothing about [my]3265-i character]6838-persons who saw me then for the first time , and who knew nothing about my character . And as to [the woman who would not take [my]3265-i handkerchief in exchange for [her]6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread bread]6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread , why , [she]6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread was right , if the offer appeared to [her]6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread sinister or the exchange unprofitable . Let [me]3265-i condense now . [I]3265-i am sick of the subject . A little before dark [I]3265-i passed [a farm - house]6840-a farm - house , at the open door of which [the farmer]6841-the farmer was sitting , eating [his]6841-the farmer supper of bread and cheese . [I]3265-i stopped and said - "[3265-i] Will [you]3266-i give [me]0-i a piece of bread ? for [I]0-i am very hungry . " [He]6841-the farmer cast on [me]3266-i a glance of surprise ; but without answering , [he]6841-the farmer cut a thick slice from [his]6841-the farmer loaf , and gave it to [me]3266-i . [I]3266-i imagine [he]6841-the farmer did not think [I]3266-i was [a beggar]6842-a beggar , but only [an eccentric sort of lady , who had taken a fancy to [his]6841-the farmer brown loaf]6843-an eccentric sort of lady , who had taken a fancy to his brown loaf . As soon as [I]3266-i was out of sight of [[his]6841-the farmer house]615-his house , [I]3266-i sat down and ate it . [I]3266-i could not hope to get a lodging under a roof , and sought it in the wood [I]3266-i have before alluded to . But [my]3266-i night was wretched , [my]3266-i rest broken : the ground was damp , the air cold : besides , [intruders]6845-intruders passed near [me]3266-i more than once , and [I]3266-i had again and again to change [[my]3266-i quarters]6846-my quarters ; no sense of safety or tranquillity befriended [me]3266-i . Towards morning it rained ; the whole of the following day was wet . Do not ask [me]3266-i , [reader]496-reader , to give a minute account of that day ; as before , [I]3266-i sought work ; as before , [I]3266-i was repulsed ; as before , [I]3266-i starved ; but once did food pass [my]3266-i lips . At the door of [a cottage]6848-a cottage [I]3266-i saw [a little girl about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pig trough]6849-a little girl about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pig trough . "[3266-i] Will [you]3267-she give [me]0-i that ? " [I]3267-she asked . [She]3267-she stared at [me]3267-she . "[3267-she] [Mother]4387-mother ! " [she]3267-she exclaimed , "[4399-a woman] there is [a woman]4399-a woman wants [me]0-i to give [her]4399-a woman these porridge . " "[4399-a woman] Well [lass]3270-lass , " replied a voice within , "[4399-a woman] give it [her]4399-a woman if [she]4399-a woman 's [a beggar]6842-a beggar . T ' pig does n't want it . " [The girl]982-the girl emptied the stiffened mould into [my]0-i hand , and [I]0-i devoured it ravenously . As the wet twilight deepened , [I]0-i stopped in [a solitary bridle - path]6851-a solitary bridle - path , which [I]0-i had been pursuing an hour or more . "[0-i] [My]0-i strength is quite failing [me]0-i , " [I]0-i said in a soliloquy . "[0-i] [I]0-i feel [I]0-i can not go much farther . Shall [I]0-i be [an outcast]3272-an outcast again this night ? While the rain descends so , must [I]0-i lay [my]0-i head on the cold , drenched ground ? [I]0-i fear [I]0-i can not do otherwise : for who will receive [me]0-i ? But it will be very dreadful , with this feeling of hunger , faintness , chill , and this sense of desolation - this total prostration of hope . In all likelihood , though , [I]0-i should die before morning . And why can not [I]0-i reconcile [myself]0-i to the prospect of death ? Why do [I]0-i struggle to retain a valueless life ? Because [I]0-i know , or believe , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is living : and then , to die of want and cold is a fate to which nature can not submit passively . Oh , [Providence]272-providence ! sustain [me]0-i a little longer ! Aid ! - direct [me]0-i ! " [My]272-providence glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty landscape . [I]272-providence saw [I]272-providence had strayed far from [the village]6777-the village : [it]6777-the village was quite out of sight . The very cultivation surrounding [it]6777-the village had disappeared . [I]272-providence had , by cross - ways and by - paths , once more drawn near [the tract of moorland]6853-the tract of moorland ; and now , only [a few fields]6854-a few fields , almost as wild and unproductive as the heath from which [they]6854-a few fields were scarcely reclaimed , lay between [me]272-providence and [the dusky hill]6855-the dusky hill . "[272-providence] Well , [I]0-i would rather die yonder than in [a street]3273-a street or on [a frequented road]3274-a frequented road , " [I]0-i reflected . "[0-i] And far better that crows and ravens - if any ravens there be in [these regions]3275-these regions - should pick [my]0-i flesh from [my]0-i bones , than that [they]3276-they should be prisoned in a workhouse coffin and moulder in [a pauper]3277-a pauper 's grave . " To [the hill]4854-the hill , then , [I]0-i turned . [I]0-i reached [it]4854-the hill . It remained now only to find [a hollow where [I]0-i could lie down]6857-a hollow where i could lie down , and feel at least hidden , if not secure . But all the surface of [the waste]6735-the waste looked level . It showed no variation but of tint : green , where rush and moss overgrew [the marshes]681-the marshes ; black , where [the dry soil bore only heath]6860-the dry soil bore only heath . Dark as it was getting , [I]0-i could still see these changes , though but as mere alternations of light and shade ; for colour had faded with the daylight . [My]0-i eye still roved over [the sullen swell]6861-the sullen swell and along [the moor - edge]6862-the moor - edge , vanishing amidst the wildest scenery , when at one dim point , far in among [the marshes]681-the marshes and [the ridges]6864-the ridges , a light sprang up . "[0-i] That is an ignis fatuus , " was [my]0-i first thought ; and [I]0-i expected it would soon vanish . It burnt on , however , quite steadily , neither receding nor advancing . "[0-i] Is it , then , a bonfire just kindled ? " [I]0-i questioned . [I]0-i watched to see whether it would spread : but no ; as it did not diminish , so it did not enlarge . "[0-i] It may be a candle in [a house]4534-a house , " [I]0-i then conjectured ; "[0-i] but if so , [I]0-i can never reach it . It is much too far away : and were it within a yard of [me]0-i , what would it avail ? [I]0-i should but knock at the door to have it shut in [my]0-i face . " And [I]400-diana sank down where [I]400-diana stood , and hid [my]400-diana face against the ground . [I]400-diana lay still a while : the night - wind swept over [the hill]4854-the hill and over [me]400-diana , and died moaning in the distance ; the rain fell fast , wetting [me]400-diana afresh to the skin . Could [I]400-diana but have stiffened to the still frost - the friendly numbness of death - it might have pelted on ; [I]400-diana should not have felt it ; but [my]400-diana yet living flesh shuddered at its chilling influence . [I]400-diana rose ere long . The light was yet there , shining dim but constant through the rain . [I]400-diana tried to walk again : [I]400-diana dragged [my]400-diana exhausted limbs slowly towards it . It led [me]400-diana aslant over [the hill]4854-the hill , through [a wide bog]6867-a wide bog , which would have been impassable in winter , and was splashy and shaking even now , in the height of summer . Here [I]400-diana fell twice ; but as often [I]400-diana rose and rallied [my]400-diana faculties . This light was [my]400-diana forlorn hope : [I]400-diana must gain it . Having crossed [the marsh]6868-the marsh , [I]400-diana saw a trace of white over [the moor]5303-the moor . [I]400-diana approached [it]6870-it ; [it]6870-it was [a road]6764-a road or [a track]6872-a track : [it]6870-it led straight up to the light , which now beamed from a sort of knoll , amidst a clump of trees - firs , apparently , from what [I]400-diana could distinguish of the character of their forms and foliage through the gloom . [My]400-diana star vanished as [I]400-diana drew near : some obstacle had intervened between [me]400-diana and [it]6870-it . [I]400-diana put out [my]400-diana hand to feel the dark mass before [me]400-diana : [I]400-diana discriminated the rough stones of a low wall - above [it]6870-it , something like palisades , and within , a high and prickly hedge . [I]400-diana groped on . Again a whitish object gleamed before [me]400-diana : it was a gate - a wicket ; it moved on [its]6870-it hinges as [I]400-diana touched [it]6870-it . On each side stood a sable bush - holly or yew . Entering the gate and passing the shrubs , the silhouette of [a house]4534-a house rose to view , black , low , and rather long ; but the guiding light shone nowhere . All was obscurity . Were [the inmates]6874-the inmates retired to rest ? [I]400-diana feared it must be so . In seeking the door , [I]400-diana turned an angle : there shot out the friendly gleam again , from the lozenged panes of a very small latticed window , within a foot of the ground , made still smaller by the growth of ivy or some other creeping plant , whose leaves clustered thick over the portion of the house wall in which it was set . The aperture was so screened and narrow , that curtain or shutter had been deemed unnecessary ; and when [I]400-diana stooped down and put aside the spray of foliage shooting over it , [I]400-diana could see all within . [I]400-diana could see clearly [a room with a sanded floor , clean scoured ; a dresser of walnut , with pewter plates ranged in rows , reflecting the redness and radiance of a glowing peat - fire]6875-a room with a sanded floor , clean scoured ; a dresser of walnut , with pewter plates ranged in rows , reflecting the redness and radiance of a glowing peat - fire . [I]400-diana could see a clock , a white deal table , some chairs . The candle , whose ray had been [my]400-diana beacon , burnt on the table ; and by its light [an elderly woman]6876-an elderly woman , somewhat rough - looking , but scrupulously clean , like all about [her]6876-an elderly woman , was knitting a stocking . [I]400-diana noticed these objects cursorily only - in them there was nothing extraordinary . A group of more interest appeared near the hearth , sitting still amidst the rosy peace and warmth suffusing it . [Two young , graceful women]6877-two young , graceful women - [ladies in every point]6878-ladies in every point - sat , one in a low rocking - chair , [the other on a lower stool]6879-the other on a lower stool ; [both]710-both wore deep mourning of crape and bombazeen , which sombre garb singularly set off very fair necks and faces : a large old pointer dog rested its massive head on the knee of [one girl]6881-one girl - in the lap of the other was cushioned a black cat . [A strange place]6882-a strange place was [this humble kitchen]6883-this humble kitchen for [such occupants]6884-such occupants ! Who were [they]6884-such occupants ? [They]6884-such occupants could not be [the daughters of [the elderly person at the table]6886-the elderly person at the table]6885-the daughters of the elderly person at the table ; for [she]6876-an elderly woman looked like [a rustic]6887-a rustic , and [they]6884-such occupants were all delicacy and cultivation . [I]400-diana had nowhere seen such faces as [theirs]6884-such occupants : and yet , as [I]400-diana gazed on [them]6884-such occupants , [I]400-diana seemed intimate with every lineament . [I]400-diana can not call [them]6884-such occupants handsome - [they]6884-such occupants were too pale and grave for the word : as [they]6884-such occupants each bent over a book , [they]6884-such occupants looked thoughtful almost to severity . A stand between [them]6884-such occupants supported a second candle and two great volumes , to which [they]6884-such occupants frequently referred , comparing [them]6884-such occupants , seemingly , with the smaller books [they]6884-such occupants held in [their]6884-such occupants hands , like [people consulting a dictionary]6888-people consulting a dictionary to aid [them]6884-such occupants in the task of translation . This scene was as silent as if all the figures had been shadows and [the firelit apartment]6889-the firelit apartment a picture : so hushed was it , [I]400-diana could hear the cinders fall from the grate , the clock tick in its obscure corner ; and [I]400-diana even fancied [I]400-diana could distinguish the click - click of [the woman]1963-the woman 's knitting - needles . When , therefore , a voice broke the strange stillness at last , it was audible enough to [me]400-diana . "[400-diana] Listen , [Diana]400-diana , " said [one of [the absorbed students]6892-the absorbed students]6891-one of the absorbed students ; "[400-diana] [Franz]401-franz and [old Daniel]197-daniel are together in the night - time , and [Franz]401-franz is telling a dream from which [he]197-daniel has awakened in terror - listen ! " And in a low voice [she]6891-one of the absorbed students read something , of which not one word was intelligible to [me]401-franz ; for it was in an unknown tongue - neither French nor Latin . Whether it were Greek or German [I]401-franz could not tell . "[401-franz] That is strong , " [she]6891-one of the absorbed students said , when [she]6891-one of the absorbed students had finished : "[401-franz] [I]0-i relish it . " [The other girl]6893-the other girl , who had lifted [her]6893-the other girl head to listen to [[her]6893-the other girl sister]4922-her sister , repeated , while [she]6893-the other girl gazed at the fire , a line of what had been read . At a later day , [I]401-franz knew the language and the book ; therefore , [I]401-franz will here quote the line : though , when [I]401-franz first heard it , it was only like a stroke on sounding brass to [me]401-franz - conveying no meaning:- "[401-franz] ' Da trat hervor Einer , anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht . ' Good ! good ! " [she]6891-one of the absorbed students exclaimed , while [her]6891-one of the absorbed students dark and deep eye sparkled . "[401-franz] There [you]3279-you have a dim and mighty archangel fitly set before [you]3279-you ! The line is worth a hundred pages of fustian . ' Ich wage die Gedanken in [der Schale meines Zornes]102-der schale meines zornes und die Werke mit [dem Gewichte meines Grimms]402-dem gewichte meines grimms . ' [I]0-i like it ! " [Both]710-both were again silent . "[0-i] Is there [ony country where [they]3281-they talk [i]0-i ' that way]3280-ony country where they talk i ' that way ? " asked [the old woman]5820-the old woman , looking up from [her]5820-the old woman knitting . "[3281-they] Yes , [Hannah]233-mary - [a far larger country than [England]21-england , where [they]3281-they talk in no other way]3282-a far larger country than england , where they talk in no other way . " "[3281-they] Well , for sure case , [I]0-i knawn't how [they]3281-they can understand t ' one t'other : and if either o ' [ye]3279-you went [there]4426-there , [ye]3279-you could tell what [they]3281-they said , [I]0-i guess ? " "[3279-you] [We]3284-we could probably tell something of what [they]3281-they said , but not all - for [we]3284-we are not as clever as [you]0-i think [us]3284-we , [Hannah]233-mary . [We]3284-we do n't speak German , and [we]3284-we can not read it without a dictionary to help [us]3284-we . " "[3284-we] And what good does it do [you]0-i ? " "[3284-we] [We]3284-we mean to teach it some time - or at least the elements , as [they]3281-they say ; and then [we]3284-we shall get more money than [we]3284-we do now . " "[403-varry] [Varry]403-varry like : but give ower studying ; [ye've]403-varry done enough for to - night . " "[3284-we] [I]0-i think [we]3284-we have : at least [I]0-i 'm tired . [Mary]233-mary , are [you]233-mary ? " "[404-mortally] [Mortally]404-mortally : after all , it 's tough work fagging away at a language with [no master but a lexicon]3285-no master but a lexicon . " "[404-mortally] It is , especially such a language as this crabbed but glorious Deutsch . [I]0-i wonder when [St. John]360-john will come [home]509-home . " "[360-john] Surely [he]360-john will not be long now : it is just ten looking at a little gold watch [she]3287-she drew from [her]3287-she girdle . It rains fast , [Hannah]233-mary : will [you]233-mary have the goodness to look at the fire in [the parlour]793-the parlour ? " [The woman]1963-the woman rose : [she]1963-the woman opened a door , through which [I]233-mary dimly saw a passage : soon [I]233-mary heard [her]1963-the woman stir a fire in [an inner room]6898-an inner room ; [she]1963-the woman presently came back . "[233-mary] Ah , [childer]3289-childer ! " said [she]1963-the woman , "[233-mary] it fair troubles [me]0-i to go into [yond ' room]3290-yond ' room now : it looks so lonesome wi ' the chair empty and set back in a corner . " [She]1963-the woman wiped [her]1963-the woman eyes with [her]1963-the woman apron : [the two girls , grave before]6899-the two girls , grave before , looked sad now . "[3295-you] But [he]3291-he is in a better place , " continued [Hannah]233-mary : "[3295-you] [we]3292-we should n't wish [him]3291-he [here]4312-here again . And then , [nobody]4628-nobody need to have a quieter death nor [he]3291-he had . " "[3295-you] [You]3295-you say [he]3291-he never mentioned [us]3292-we ? " inquired [one of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]5857-one of the ladies . "[3291-he] [He]3291-he had n't time , [bairn]3296-bairn : [he]3291-he was gone in a minute , was [[your]3296-bairn father]4318-your father . [He]3291-he had been a bit ailing like the day before , but naught to signify ; and when [Mr. St. John]177-st. john asked if [he]3291-he would like either o ' [ye]3296-bairn to be sent for , [he]3291-he fair laughed at [him]3291-he . [He]3291-he began again with a bit of a heaviness in [his]3291-he head the next day - that is , a fortnight sin ' - and [he]3291-he went to sleep and niver wakened : [he]3291-he wor a'most stark when [[your]3296-bairn brother]3298-your brother went into t ' chamber and fand [him]3291-he . Ah , [childer]3289-childer ! that 's t ' last o ' t ' old stock - for [ye]3296-bairn and [Mr. St. John]177-st. john is like of different soart to [them]3300-them ' at 's gone ; for all [[your]3296-bairn mother]4582-your mother wor mich [i]0-i ' [your]3296-bairn way , and a'most as book - learned . [She]4582-your mother wor the pictur ' o ' [ye]3296-bairn , [Mary]233-mary : [Diana]400-diana is more like [[your]3296-bairn father]4318-your father . " [I]400-diana thought [them]3300-them so similar [I]400-diana could not tell where [the old servant]6902-the old servant for such [I]400-diana now concluded [her]4582-your mother to be saw the difference . [Both]710-both were fair complexioned and slenderly made ; [both]710-both possessed faces full of distinction and intelligence . One , to be sure , had hair a shade darker than the other , and there was a difference in [their]3300-them style of wearing it ; [Mary]233-mary 's pale brown locks were parted and braided smooth : [Diana]400-diana 's duskier tresses covered [her]400-diana neck with thick curls . The clock struck ten . "[400-diana] [Ye'll]3296-bairn want [your]3296-bairn supper , [I]0-i am sure , " observed [Hannah]233-mary ; "[0-i] and so will [Mr. St. John]177-st. john when [he]177-st. john comes in . " And [she]233-mary proceeded to prepare the meal . [The ladies]1885-the ladies rose ; [they]1885-the ladies seemed about to withdraw to [the parlour]793-the parlour . Till this moment , [I]177-st. john had been so intent on watching [them]1885-the ladies , [their]1885-the ladies appearance and conversation had excited in [me]177-st. john so keen an interest , [I]177-st. john had half - forgotten [my]177-st. john own wretched position : now it recurred to [me]177-st. john . More desolate , more desperate than ever , it seemed from contrast . And how impossible did it appear to touch [the inmates of [this house]4596-this house]6907-the inmates of this house with concern on [my]177-st. john behalf ; to make [them]6907-the inmates of this house believe in the truth of [my]177-st. john wants and woes - to induce [them]6907-the inmates of this house to vouchsafe a rest for [my]177-st. john wanderings ! As [I]177-st. john groped out the door , and knocked at [it]6909-it hesitatingly , [I]177-st. john felt that last idea to be a mere chimera . [Hannah]233-mary opened . "[177-st. john] What do [you]3303-you want ? " [she]233-mary inquired , in a voice of surprise , as [she]233-mary surveyed [me]3303-you by the light of the candle [she]233-mary held . "[3303-you] May [I]0-i speak to [[your]3303-you mistresses]3304-your mistresses ? " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] [You]3303-you had better tell [me]0-i what [you]3303-you have to say to [them]3304-your mistresses . Where do [you]3303-you come from ? " "[3303-you] [I]0-i am [a stranger]799-a stranger . " "[799-a stranger] What is [your]3303-you business here at this hour ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i want a night 's shelter in [an out - house]3306-an out - house or anywhere , and a morsel of bread to eat . " [Distrust]405-distrust , the very feeling [I]0-i dreaded , appeared in [Hannah]233-mary 's face . "[0-i] [I]0-i 'll give [you]0-i a piece of bread , " [she]233-mary said , after a pause ; "[0-i] but [we]3307-we ca n't take in [a vagrant]3308-a vagrant to [lodge]3309-lodge . It is n't likely . " "[0-i] Do let [me]0-i speak to [[your]0-i mistresses]3304-your mistresses . " "[0-i] No , not [I.]0-i What can [they]3304-your mistresses do for [you]0-i ? [You]0-i should not be roving about now ; it looks very ill . " "[0-i] But where shall [I]0-i go if [you]0-i drive [me]0-i away ? What shall [I]0-i do ? " "[0-i] Oh , [I]0-i 'll warrant [you]0-i know where to go and what to do . Mind [you]0-i do n't do wrong , that 's all . Here is a penny ; now go - " "[0-i] A penny can not feed [me]0-i , and [I]0-i have no strength to go farther . Do n't shut the door:- oh , do n't , for God 's sake ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i must ; the rain is driving in - " "[4509-the young ladies] Tell [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies . Let [me]0-i see [them-]4509-the young ladies " "[0-i] Indeed , [I]0-i will not . [You]0-i are not what [you]0-i ought to be , or [you]0-i would n't make such a noise . Move off . " "[0-i] But [I]0-i must die if [I]0-i am turned away . " "[0-i] Not [you]0-i . [I]0-i 'm fear'd [you]0-i have some ill plans agate , that bring [you]0-i about [[folk]3312-folk 's houses]3313-folk 's houses at this time o ' night . If [you]0-i 've [any followers]3314-any followers - [housebreakers]3315-housebreakers or such like - anywhere near , [you]0-i may tell [them]3314-any followers [we]3316-we are not by [ourselves]3316-we in [the house]4322-the house ; [we]3316-we have [a gentleman]638-a gentleman , and dogs , and guns . " Here [the honest but inflexible servant]6910-the honest but inflexible servant clapped the door to and bolted it within . This was the climax . A pang of exquisite suffering - a throe of true despair - rent and heaved [my]638-a gentleman heart . Worn out , indeed , [I]638-a gentleman was ; not another step could [I]638-a gentleman stir . [I]638-a gentleman sank on the wet doorstep : [I]638-a gentleman groaned - [I]638-a gentleman wrung [my]638-a gentleman hands - [I]638-a gentleman wept in utter anguish . Oh , this spectre of death ! Oh , this last hour , approaching in such horror ! Alas , this isolation - this banishment from [[my]638-a gentleman kind]1573-my kind ! Not only the anchor of hope , but the footing of fortitude was gone - at least for a moment ; but the last [I]638-a gentleman soon endeavoured to regain . "[638-a gentleman] [I]0-i can but die , " [I]0-i said , "[0-i] and [I]0-i believe in [God]180-mrs. fairfax . Let [me]0-i try to wait [His]3319-his will in silence . " These words [I]0-i not only thought , but uttered ; and thrusting back all [my]0-i misery into [my]0-i heart , [I]0-i made an effort to compel it to remain there - dumb and still . "[0-i] [All men]6647-all men must die , " said [a voice quite close at hand]6912-a voice quite close at hand ; "[0-i] but all are not condemned to meet a lingering and premature doom , such as [yours]3321-yours would be if [you]3321-yours perished here of want . " "[3321-yours] Who or what speaks ? " [I]3321-yours asked , terrified at the unexpected sound , and incapable now of deriving from any occurrence a hope of aid . A form was near - what form , the pitch - dark night and [my]3321-yours enfeebled vision prevented [me]3321-yours from distinguishing . With a loud long knock , [the new - comer]780-the new - comer appealed to the door . "[3321-yours] Is it [you]3322-you , [Mr. St. John]177-st. john ? " cried [Hannah]233-mary . "[3322-you] Yes - yes ; open quickly . " "[3322-you] Well , how wet and cold [you]3322-you must be , such a wild night as it is ! Come in - [[your]3322-you sisters]4419-your sisters are quite uneasy about [you]3322-you , and [I]0-i believe there are [bad folks]3324-bad folks about . There has been [a beggar - woman]2767-a beggar - woman - [I]0-i declare [she]2767-a beggar - woman is not gone yet ! - laid down there . Get up ! for shame ! Move off , [I]0-i say ! " "[0-i] Hush , [Hannah]233-mary ! [I]0-i have a word to say to [the woman]1963-the woman . [You]233-mary have done [your]233-mary duty in excluding , now let [me]0-i do [mine]0-i in admitting [her]1963-the woman . [I]0-i was near , and listened to both [you]233-mary and [her]1963-the woman . [I]0-i think this is a peculiar case - [I]0-i must at least examine into it . [Young woman]3327-young woman , rise , and pass before [me]0-i into [the house]4322-the house . " With difficulty [I]3327-young woman obeyed [him]0-i . Presently [I]3327-young woman stood within [that clean , bright kitchen]6914-that clean , bright kitchen - on the very hearth - trembling , sickening ; conscious of an aspect in the last degree ghastly , wild , and weather - beaten . [The two ladies]6915-the two ladies , [[their]6915-the two ladies brother]6916-their brother , [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , [the old servant]6902-the old servant , were all gazing at [me]3327-young woman . "[3327-young woman] [St. John]177-st. john , who is it ? " [I]177-st. john heard [one]4415-one ask . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i can not tell : [I]0-i found [her]3327-young woman at the door , " was the reply . "[0-i] [She]3327-young woman does look white , " said [Hannah]233-mary . "[3327-young woman] As white as clay or death , " was responded . "[3327-young woman] [She]3327-young woman will fall : let [her]3327-young woman sit . " And indeed [my]3327-young woman head swam : [I]3327-young woman dropped , but a chair received [me]3327-young woman . [I]3327-young woman still possessed [my]3327-young woman senses , though just now [I]3327-young woman could not speak . "[3327-young woman] Perhaps a little water would restore [her]3327-young woman . [Hannah]233-mary , fetch some . But [she]3327-young woman is worn to nothing . How very thin , and how very bloodless ! " "[3329-a mere spectre] [A mere spectre]3329-a mere spectre ! " "[3329-a mere spectre] Is [she]3327-young woman ill , or only famished ? " "[0-i] Famished , [I]0-i think . [Hannah]233-mary , is that milk ? Give it [me]0-i , and a piece of bread . " [Diana]400-diana [I]3329-a mere spectre knew [her]3327-young woman by the long curls which [I]3329-a mere spectre saw drooping between [me]3329-a mere spectre and the fire as [she]3327-young woman bent over [me]3329-a mere spectre broke some bread , dipped it in milk , and put it to [my]3329-a mere spectre lips . [Her]3327-young woman face was near [mine]3329-a mere spectre : [I]3329-a mere spectre saw there was pity in it , and [I]3329-a mere spectre felt sympathy in [her]3327-young woman hurried breathing . In [her]3327-young woman simple words , too , the same balm - like emotion spoke : "[3329-a mere spectre] Try to eat . " "[0-i] Yes - try , " repeated [Mary]233-mary gently ; and [Mary]233-mary 's hand removed [my]0-i sodden bonnet and lifted [my]0-i head . [I]0-i tasted what [they]6919-they offered [me]0-i : feebly at first , eagerly soon . "[0-i] Not too much at first - restrain [her]3330-her , " said [the brother]6920-the brother ; ' [she]3330-her has had enough . "[3331-he] And [he]3331-he withdrew the cup of milk and the plate of bread . " A little more , [St. John]177-st. john - look at the avidity in [her]3330-her eyes . "[3331-he] " No more at present , [sister]2236-sister . Try if [she]3330-her can speak now - ask [her]3330-her [her]3330-her name . "[0-i] [I]0-i felt [I]0-i could speak , and [I]0-i answered - " [My]0-i name is [Jane Elliott]406-jane elliott . "[0-i] Anxious as ever to avoid discovery , [I]0-i had before resolved to assume an ALIAS . " And where do [you]0-i live ? Where are [[your]0-i friends]6922-your friends ? "[0-i] [I]0-i was silent . " Can [we]6923-we send for any one [you]0-i know ? "[0-i] [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head . " What account can [you]0-i give of [yourself]0-i ? "[0-i] Somehow , now that [I]0-i had once crossed the threshold of [this house]4596-this house , and once was brought face to face with [[its]4596-this house owners]3333-its owners , [I]0-i felt no longer outcast , vagrant , and disowned by [the wide world]3334-the wide world . [I]0-i dared to put off [the mendicant]3335-the mendicant - to resume [my]0-i natural manner and character . [I]0-i began once more to know [myself]0-i ; and when [Mr. St. John]177-st. john demanded an account - which at present [I]0-i was far too weak to render - [I]0-i said after a brief pause - " Sir , [I]0-i can give [you]177-st. john no details to - night . "[0-i] " But what , then , "[177-st. john] said [he]177-st. john , " do [you]0-i expect [me]177-st. john to do for [you]0-i ? "[177-st. john] " Nothing , "[0-i] [I]0-i replied . [My]0-i strength sufficed for but short answers . [Diana]400-diana took the word - " Do [you]0-i mean , "[400-diana] [she]400-diana asked , " that [we]6924-we have now given [you]0-i what aid [you]0-i require ? and that [we]6924-we may dismiss [you]0-i to [the moor]5303-the moor and the rainy night ? "[400-diana] [I]0-i looked at [her]400-diana . [She]400-diana had , [I]0-i thought , a remarkable countenance , instinct both with power and goodness . [I]0-i took sudden courage . Answering [her]400-diana compassionate gaze with a smile , [I]0-i said - " [I]0-i will trust [you]400-diana . If [I]0-i were a masterless and stray dog , [I]0-i know that [you]400-diana would not turn [me]0-i from [your]400-diana hearth to - night : as it is , [I]0-i really have no fear . Do with [me]0-i and for [me]0-i as [you]400-diana like ; but excuse [me]0-i from much discourse - [my]0-i breath is short - [I]0-i feel a spasm when [I]0-i speak . "[0-i] [All three]3336-all three surveyed [me]0-i , and [all three]3336-all three were silent . " [Hannah]233-mary , "[177-st. john] said [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , at last , " let [her]233-mary sit there at present , and ask [her]233-mary no questions ; in ten minutes more , give [her]233-mary the remainder of that milk and bread . [Mary]233-mary and [Diana]400-diana , let [us]3336-all three go into [the parlour]793-the parlour and talk the matter over . "[177-st. john] [They]3336-all three withdrew . Very soon [one of [the ladies]1885-the ladies]5857-one of the ladies returned - [I]0-i could not tell which . A kind of pleasant stupor was stealing over [me]0-i as [I]0-i sat by the genial fire . In an undertone [she]5857-one of the ladies gave some directions to [Hannah]233-mary . Ere long , with [the servant]4539-the servant 's aid , [I]0-i contrived to mount [a staircase]3341-a staircase ; [my]0-i dripping clothes were removed ; soon a warm , dry bed received [me]0-i . [I]0-i thanked [God]180-mrs. fairfax - experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a glow of grateful joy - and slept . CHAPTER XXIX The recollection of about three days and nights succeeding this is very dim in [my]0-i mind . [I]0-i can recall some sensations felt in that interval ; but few thoughts framed , and no actions performed . [I]0-i knew [I]0-i was in [a small room]3342-a small room and in a narrow bed . To that bed [I]0-i seemed to have grown ; [I]0-i lay on it motionless as a stone ; and to have torn [me]0-i from it would have been almost to kill [me]0-i . [I]0-i took no note of the lapse of time - of the change from morning to noon , from noon to evening . [I]0-i observed when [any one]591-any one entered or left [the apartment]560-the apartment : [I]0-i could even tell who [they]591-any one were ; [I]0-i could understand what was said when [the speaker]2916-the speaker stood near to [me]0-i ; but [I]0-i could not answer ; to open [my]0-i lips or move [my]0-i limbs was equally impossible . [Hannah]233-mary , [the servant]4539-the servant , was [[my]0-i most frequent visitor]3347-my most frequent visitor . [Her]233-mary coming disturbed [me]0-i . [I]0-i had a feeling that [she]233-mary wished [me]0-i away : that [she]233-mary did not understand [me]0-i or [my]0-i circumstances ; that [she]233-mary was prejudiced against [me]0-i . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary appeared in [the chamber]4856-the chamber once or twice a day . [They]3349-i would whisper sentences of this sort at [my]0-i bedside - " It is very well [we]3349-i took [her]233-mary in . "[3349-i] " Yes ; [she]233-mary would certainly have been found dead at the door in the morning had [she]233-mary been left out all night . [I]3349-i wonder what [she]233-mary has gone through ? "[3349-i] " Strange hardships , [I]3349-i imagine - [poor , emaciated , pallid wanderer]6927-poor , emaciated , pallid wanderer ? "[3349-i] " [She]233-mary is not [an uneducated person]6928-an uneducated person , [I]3349-i should think , by [her]233-mary manner of speaking ; [her]233-mary accent was quite pure ; and the clothes [she]233-mary took off , though splashed and wet , were little worn and fine . "[3349-i] " [She]233-mary has a peculiar face ; fleshless and haggard as it is , [I]3349-i rather like it ; and when in good health and animated , [I]3349-i can fancy [her]233-mary physiognomy would be agreeable . "[3349-i] Never once in [their]3349-i dialogues did [I]0-i hear a syllable of regret at the hospitality [they]3349-i had extended to [me]0-i , or of suspicion of , or aversion to , [myself]0-i . [I]0-i was comforted . [Mr. St. John]177-st. john came but once : [he]177-st. john looked at [me]0-i , and said [my]0-i state of lethargy was the result of reaction from excessive and protracted fatigue . [He]177-st. john pronounced it needless to send for [a doctor]3350-a doctor : [nature]3351-nature , [he]177-st. john was sure , would manage best , left to [herself]3351-nature . [He]177-st. john said every nerve had been overstrained in some way , and the whole system must sleep torpid a while . There was no disease . [He]177-st. john imagined [my]0-i recovery would be rapid enough when once commenced . These opinions [he]177-st. john delivered in a few words , in a quiet , low voice ; and added , after a pause , in the tone of [a man little accustomed to expansive comment]3352-a man little accustomed to expansive comment , " Rather an unusual physiognomy ; certainly , not indicative of vulgarity or degradation . "[177-st. john] " Far otherwise , "[400-diana] responded [Diana]400-diana . " To speak truth , [St. John]177-st. john , [my]400-diana heart rather warms to [the poor little soul]6929-the poor little soul . [I]400-diana wish [we]6930-we may be able to benefit [her]6929-the poor little soul permanently . "[400-diana] " That is hardly likely , "[177-st. john] was the reply . " [You]177-st. john will find [she]6929-the poor little soul is [some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with [[her]6929-the poor little soul friends]715-her friends , and has probably injudiciously left [them]715-her friends]6931-some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with her friends , and has probably injudiciously left them . [We]6930-we may , perhaps , succeed in restoring [her]6929-the poor little soul to [them]715-her friends , if [she]6929-the poor little soul is not obstinate : but [I]3353-i trace lines of force in [her]6929-the poor little soul face which make [me]3353-i sceptical of [her]6929-the poor little soul tractability . "[3353-i] [He]3353-i stood considering [me]0-i some minutes ; then added , " [She]6929-the poor little soul looks sensible , but not at all handsome . "[3353-i] " [She]6929-the poor little soul is so ill , [St. John]177-st. john . "[3353-i] " Ill or well , [she]6929-the poor little soul would always be plain . The grace and harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features . "[3353-i] On the third day [I]0-i was better ; on the fourth , [I]0-i could speak , move , rise in bed , and turn . [Hannah]233-mary had brought [me]0-i some gruel and dry toast , about , as [I]0-i supposed , the dinner - hour . [I]0-i had eaten with relish : the food was good - void of the feverish flavour which had hitherto poisoned what [I]0-i had swallowed . When [she]233-mary left [me]0-i , [I]0-i felt comparatively strong and revived : ere long satiety of repose and desire for action stirred [me]0-i . [I]0-i wished to rise ; but what could [I]0-i put on ? Only [my]0-i damp and bemired apparel ; in which [I]0-i had slept on the ground and fallen in [the marsh]6868-the marsh . [I]0-i felt ashamed to appear before [[my]0-i benefactors]3355-my benefactors so clad . [I]0-i was spared the humiliation . On a chair by the bedside were all [my]0-i own things , clean and dry . [My]0-i black silk frock hung against the wall . The traces of the bog were removed from it ; the creases left by the wet smoothed out : it was quite decent . [My]0-i very shoes and stockings were purified and rendered presentable . There were the means of washing in [the room]535-the room , and a comb and brush to smooth [my]0-i hair . After a weary process , and resting every five minutes , [I]0-i succeeded in dressing [myself]0-i . [My]0-i clothes hung loose on [me]0-i ; for [I]0-i was much wasted , but [I]0-i covered deficiencies with a shawl , and once more , clean and respectable looking - no speck of the dirt , no trace of the disorder [I]0-i so hated , and which seemed so to degrade [me]0-i , left - [I]0-i crept down a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters , to a narrow low passage , and found [my]0-i way presently to [the kitchen]658-the kitchen . [It]658-the kitchen was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth of a generous fire . [Hannah]233-mary was baking . Prejudices , it is well known , are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education : they grow there , firm as weeds among stones . [Hannah]233-mary had been cold and stiff , indeed , at the first : latterly [she]233-mary had begun to relent a little ; and when [she]233-mary saw [me]0-i come in tidy and well - dressed , [she]233-mary even smiled . " What , [you]0-i have got up ! "[233-mary] [she]233-mary said . " [You]0-i are better , then . [You]0-i may sit [you]0-i down in [my]233-mary chair on the hearthstone , if [you]0-i will . "[233-mary] [She]233-mary pointed to the rocking - chair : [I]0-i took it . [She]233-mary bustled about , examining [me]0-i every now and then with the corner of [her]233-mary eye . Turning to [me]0-i , as [she]233-mary took some loaves from the oven , [she]233-mary asked bluntly - " Did [you]0-i ever go a - begging afore [you]0-i came [here]4312-here ? "[233-mary] [I]0-i was indignant for a moment ; but remembering that anger was out of the question , and that [I]0-i had indeed appeared as [a beggar]6842-a beggar to [her]233-mary , [I]0-i answered quietly , but still not without a certain marked firmness - " [You]0-i are mistaken in supposing [me]0-i [a beggar]6842-a beggar . [I]0-i am [no beggar]6935-no beggar ; any more than [yourself]0-i or [[your]0-i young ladies]6936-your young ladies . "[0-i] After a pause [she]233-mary said , " [I]233-mary dunnut understand that : [you]0-i 've like [no house]6937-no house , nor no brass , [I]233-mary guess ? "[233-mary] " The want of [house]6938-house or brass by which [I]0-i suppose [you]0-i mean money does not make [a beggar]6842-a beggar in [your]0-i sense of the word . "[0-i] " Are [you]0-i book - learned ? "[233-mary] [she]233-mary inquired presently . " Yes , very . "[233-mary] " But [you]0-i 've never been to [a boarding - school]6940-a boarding - school ? "[0-i] " [I]233-mary was at [a boarding - school]6940-a boarding - school eight years . "[233-mary] [She]233-mary opened [her]233-mary eyes wide . " Whatever can not [ye]0-i keep [yourself]0-i for , then ? "[233-mary] " [I]0-i have kept [myself]0-i ; and , [I]0-i trust , shall keep [myself]0-i again . What are [you]233-mary going to do with these gooseberries ? "[0-i] [I]0-i inquired , as [she]233-mary brought out a basket of the fruit . " Mak ' 'em into pies . "[233-mary] " Give them to [me]233-mary and [I]233-mary 'll pick them . "[233-mary] " Nay ; [I]233-mary dunnut want [ye]0-i to do nought . "[233-mary] " But [I]233-mary must do something . Let [me]233-mary have them . "[233-mary] [She]233-mary consented ; and [she]233-mary even brought [me]0-i a clean towel to spread over [my]0-i dress , " lest , "[233-mary] as [she]233-mary said , " [I]233-mary should mucky it . "[233-mary] " Ye've not been used to sarvant 's wark , [I]233-mary see by [your]0-i hands , "[233-mary] [she]233-mary remarked . " Happen [ye've]0-i been [a dressmaker]6942-a dressmaker ? "[233-mary] " No , [you]0-i are wrong . And now , never mind what [I]233-mary have been : do n't trouble [your]0-i head further about [me]233-mary ; but tell [me]233-mary the name of [the house where [we]6944-we are]6943-the house where we are . "[233-mary] " Some calls [it]6943-the house where we are [Marsh End]101-marsh end , and [some]1182-some calls [it]6943-the house where we are [Moor House]104-moor house . "[233-mary] " And [the gentleman who lives here]6946-the gentleman who lives here is called [Mr. St. John]177-st. john ? "[233-mary] " Nay ; [he]3359-he does n't live [here]4312-here : [he]3359-he is only staying a while . When [he]3359-he is at [home]509-home , [he]3359-he is in [[his]3359-he own parish]6949-his own parish at [Morton]105-morton . "[233-mary] " [That village]6950-that village a few miles off ? "[233-mary] Aye . " "[233-mary] And what is [he]3359-he ? " "[3359-he] [He]3359-he is [a parson]5186-a parson . " [I]5186-a parson remembered the answer of [the old housekeeper at [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage]6951-the old housekeeper at the parsonage , when [I]5186-a parson had asked to see [the clergyman]6499-the clergyman . "[5186-a parson] This , then , was [[[his]3359-he father]5218-his father 's residence]3362-his father 's residence ? " "[5218-his father] Aye ; [old Mr. Rivers]177-st. john lived [here]4312-here , and [[his]3359-he father]5218-his father , and [grandfather]3365-grandfather , and [gurt great grandfather]3366-gurt great grandfather afore [him]3359-he . " "[177-st. john] The name , then , of [that gentleman]1052-that gentleman , is [Mr. St. John Rivers]177-st. john ? " "[177-st. john] Aye ; [St. John]177-st. john is like [his]3359-he kirstened name . " "[3359-he] And [[his]3359-he sisters]4311-his sisters are called [Diana]400-diana and [Mary Rivers]407-mary ? " "[407-mary] Yes . " "[407-mary] [[Their]4311-his sisters father]3369-their father is dead ? " "[3369-their father] Dead three weeks sin ' of a stroke . " "[3369-their father] [They]4311-his sisters have [no mother]3370-no mother ? " "[5991-the mistress] [The mistress]5991-the mistress has been dead this mony a year . " "[5991-the mistress] Have [you]1052-that gentleman lived with [the family]5088-the family long ? " "[1052-that gentleman] [I]0-i 've lived [here]4312-here thirty year . [I]0-i nursed [them]5088-the family all three . " "[0-i] That proves [you]1052-that gentleman must have been [an honest and faithful servant]3374-an honest and faithful servant . [I]0-i will say so much for [you]1052-that gentleman , though [you]1052-that gentleman have had the incivility to call [me]0-i [a beggar]6842-a beggar . " [She]1052-that gentleman again regarded [me]1052-that gentleman with a surprised stare . "[1052-that gentleman] [I]0-i believe , " [she]1052-that gentleman said , "[1052-that gentleman] [I]0-i was quite mista'en in [my]0-i thoughts of [you]1052-that gentleman : but there is so mony cheats goes about , [you]1052-that gentleman mun forgie [me]0-i . " "[1052-that gentleman] And though , " [I]1052-that gentleman continued , rather severely , "[1052-that gentleman] [you]1052-that gentleman wished to turn [me]0-i from the door , on a night when [you]1052-that gentleman should not have shut out a dog . " "[1052-that gentleman] Well , it was hard : but what can a body do ? [I]0-i thought more o ' [th ' childer]3376-th ' childer nor of [mysel]3377-mysel : poor things ! [They]3378-they 've like [nobody]4628-nobody to tak ' care on ['em]3380-'em but [me]0-i . [I]0-i 'm like to look sharpish . " [I]0-i maintained a grave silence for some minutes . "[0-i] [You]1052-that gentleman munnut think too hardly of [me]0-i , " [she]1052-that gentleman again remarked . "[1052-that gentleman] But [I]0-i do think hardly of [you]1052-that gentleman , " [I]0-i said ; "[0-i] and [I]0-i 'll tell [you]1052-that gentleman why - not so much because [you]1052-that gentleman refused to give [me]0-i shelter , or regarded [me]0-i as [an impostor]3381-an impostor , as because [you]1052-that gentleman just now made it a species of reproach that [I]0-i had no ' brass ' and [no house]6937-no house . [Some of the best people that ever lived]3383-some of the best people that ever lived have been as destitute as [I]0-i am ; and if [you]1052-that gentleman are [a Christian]6270-a christian , [you]1052-that gentleman ought not to consider poverty a crime . " "[0-i] No more [I]0-i ought , " said [she]1052-that gentleman : "[0-i] [Mr. St. John]177-st. john tells [me]0-i so too ; and [I]0-i see [I]0-i wor wrang - but [I]0-i 've clear a different notion on [you]1052-that gentleman now to what [I]0-i had . [You]1052-that gentleman look a raight down [dacent little crater]3385-dacent little crater . " "[1052-that gentleman] That will do - [I]0-i forgive [you]1052-that gentleman now . Shake hands . " [She]1052-that gentleman put [her]1052-that gentleman floury and horny hand into [mine]1052-that gentleman ; another and heartier smile illumined [her]1052-that gentleman rough face , and from that moment [we]6954-we were [friends]1114-friends . [Hannah]233-mary was evidently fond of talking . While [I]3386-the childer picked the fruit , and [she]1052-that gentleman made the paste for the pies , [she]1052-that gentleman proceeded to give [me]3386-the childer sundry details about [[her]1052-that gentleman deceased master]6956-her deceased master and [mistress]6957-mistress , and "[3386-the childer] [the childer]3386-the childer , " as [she]1052-that gentleman called [the young people]6958-the young people . [Old Mr. Rivers]408-old mr. rivers , [she]1052-that gentleman said , was [a plain man]6959-a plain man enough , but [a gentleman , and of as ancient a family as could be found]6960-a gentleman , and of as ancient a family as could be found . [Marsh End]101-marsh end had belonged to [the Rivers]408-old mr. rivers ever since [it]3387-it was [a house]4534-a house : and [it]3387-it was , [she]1052-that gentleman affirmed , "[3386-the childer] aboon two hundred year old - for all [it]3387-it looked but [a small , humble place]3388-a small , humble place , naught to compare wi ' [[Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver 's grand hall]3389-mr. oliver 's grand hall down [i]0-i ' [Morton Vale]106-morton vale . But [she]3390-she could remember [[Bill Oliver]409-bill oliver 's father]3391-bill oliver 's father a [journeyman needlemaker]3392-journeyman needlemaker ; and th ' [Rivers]177-st. john wor gentry [i]0-i ' th ' owd days o ' [th ' Henrys]3393-th ' henrys , as onybody might see by looking into th ' registers [i]0-i ' [Morton [Church vestry]3395-church vestry]3394-morton church vestry . " Still , [she]1052-that gentleman allowed , "[3396-the owd maister] [the owd maister]3396-the owd maister was like [other folk]3397-other folk - naught mich out o ' t ' common way : stark mad o ' shooting , and farming , and sich like . " [The mistress]5991-the mistress was different . [She]5991-the mistress was [a great reader]6963-a great reader , and studied a deal ; and [the "[3399-their] bairns]6964-the " bairns " had taken after [her]5991-the mistress . There was nothing like [them]6964-the " bairns in [these parts]6965-these parts , nor ever had been ; [they]6964-the " bairns had liked learning , all three , almost from the time [they]6964-the " bairns could speak ; and [they]6964-the " bairns had always been "[3399-their] of [a mak ' of [their]3399-their own]3398-a mak ' of their own . " [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , when [he]177-st. john grew up , would go to college and be [a parson]5186-a parson ; and [the girls]890-the girls , as soon as [they]890-the girls left [school]537-school , would seek places as [governesses]4975-governesses : for [they]890-the girls had told [her]5991-the mistress [[their]890-the girls father]3369-their father had some years ago lost a great deal of money by [a man [he]3369-their father had trusted turning bankrupt]6971-a man he had trusted turning bankrupt ; and as [he]3369-their father was now not rich enough to give [them]890-the girls fortunes , [they]890-the girls must provide for [themselves]890-the girls . [They]890-the girls had lived very little at [home]509-home for a long while , and were only come now to stay a few weeks on account of [[their]890-the girls father]3369-their father 's death ; but [they]890-the girls did so like [Marsh End]101-marsh end and [Morton]105-morton , and all [these moors]6974-these moors and [hills about]6975-hills about . [They]890-the girls had been in [London]31-london , and [many other grand towns]6976-many other grand towns ; but [they]890-the girls always said there was [no place like [home]509-home]6977-no place like home ; and then [they]890-the girls were so agreeable with [each other]724-each other - never fell out nor "[3399-their] threaped . " [She]6980-she did not know where there was such [a family]6981-a family for being united . Having finished [my]3399-their task of gooseberry picking , [I]3399-their asked where [the two ladies]6915-the two ladies and [[their]6915-the two ladies brother]6916-their brother were now . "[3399-their] Gone over to [Morton]105-morton for a walk ; but [they]3400-they would be back in half - an - hour to tea . " [They]3400-they returned within the time [Hannah]233-mary had allotted [them]3400-they : [they]3400-they entered by the kitchen door . [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , when [he]177-st. john saw [me]3401-you , merely bowed and passed through ; [the two ladies]6915-the two ladies stopped : [Mary]233-mary , in a few words , kindly and calmly expressed the pleasure [she]233-mary felt in seeing [me]3401-you well enough to be able to come down ; [Diana]400-diana took [my]3401-you hand : [she]400-diana shook [her]400-diana head at [me]3401-you . "[3401-you] [You]3401-you should have waited for [my]0-i leave to descend , " [she]400-diana said . "[3401-you] [You]3401-you still look very pale - and so thin ! [Poor child]3402-poor child ! - [poor girl]3403-poor girl ! " [Diana]400-diana had a voice toned , to [my]3402-poor child ear , like the cooing of a dove . [She]400-diana possessed eyes whose gaze [I]3402-poor child delighted to encounter . [Her]400-diana whole face seemed to [me]3402-poor child full of charm . [Mary]233-mary 's countenance was equally intelligent - [her]233-mary features equally pretty ; but [her]233-mary expression was more reserved , and [her]233-mary manners , though gentle , more distant . [Diana]400-diana looked and spoke with a certain authority : [she]400-diana had a will , evidently . It was [my]3402-poor child nature to feel pleasure in yielding to an authority supported like [hers]233-mary , and to bend , where [my]3402-poor child conscience and self - respect permitted , to an active will . "[3402-poor child] And what business have [you]3401-you [here]4312-here ? " [she]233-mary continued . "[3402-poor child] It is not [[your]3401-you place]3405-your place . [Mary]233-mary and [I]0-i sit in [the kitchen]658-the kitchen sometimes , because at [home]509-home [we]3408-we like to be free , even to license - but [you]3401-you are [a visitor]4974-a visitor , and must go into [the parlour]793-the parlour . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am very well [here]4312-here . " "[0-i] Not at all , with [Hannah]233-mary bustling about and covering [you]3401-you with flour . " "[233-mary] Besides , the fire is too hot for [you]3401-you , " interposed [Mary]233-mary . "[233-mary] To be sure , " added [[her]233-mary sister]4922-her sister . "[233-mary] Come , [you]3401-you must be obedient . " And still holding [my]233-mary hand [she]4922-her sister made [me]233-mary rise , and led [me]233-mary into [the inner room]2381-the inner room . "[233-mary] Sit there , " [she]4922-her sister said , placing [me]233-mary on the sofa , "[233-mary] while [we]3408-we take [our]3408-we things off and get the tea ready ; it is another privilege [we]3408-we exercise in [[our]3408-we little moorland home]3412-our little moorland home - to prepare [our]3408-we own meals when [we]3408-we are so inclined , or when [Hannah]233-mary is baking , brewing , washing , or ironing . " [She]4922-her sister closed the door , leaving [me]233-mary solus with [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , who sat opposite , a book or newspaper in [his]177-st. john hand . [I]233-mary examined first , [the parlour]793-the parlour , and then [its occupant]1838-its occupant . [The parlour]793-the parlour was rather [a small room]3342-a small room , very plainly furnished , yet comfortable , because clean and neat . The old - fashioned chairs were very bright , and the walnut - wood table was like a looking - glass . A few strange , antique portraits of [the men]6991-the men and women of other days decorated the stained walls ; a cupboard with glass doors contained some books and an ancient set of china . There was no superfluous ornament in [the room]535-the room - not one modern piece of furniture , save a brace of workboxes and [a lady]4932-a lady 's desk in rosewood , which stood on a side - table : everything - including the carpet and curtains - looked at once well worn and well saved . [Mr. St. John]177-st. john - sitting as still as one of the dusty pictures on the walls , keeping [his]177-st. john eyes fixed on the page [he]177-st. john perused , and [his]177-st. john lips mutely sealed - was easy enough to examine . Had [he]177-st. john been [a statue]6994-a statue instead of [a man]4429-a man , [he]177-st. john could not have been easier . [He]177-st. john was young - perhaps from twenty - eight to thirty - tall , slender ; [his]177-st. john face riveted the eye ; it was like a Greek face , very pure in outline : quite a straight , classic nose ; quite an Athenian mouth and chin . It is seldom , indeed , [an English face comes so near the antique models]6996-an english face comes so near the antique models as did [his]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john might well be a little shocked at the irregularity of [my]233-mary lineaments , [his]177-st. john own being so harmonious . [His]177-st. john eyes were large and blue , with brown lashes ; [his]177-st. john high forehead , colourless as ivory , was partially streaked over by careless locks of fair hair . This is a gentle delineation , is it not , [reader]496-reader ? Yet [he]177-st. john whom it describes scarcely impressed [one]4415-one with the idea of a gentle , a yielding , an impressible , or even of a placid nature . Quiescent as [he]177-st. john now sat , there was something about [his]177-st. john nostril , [his]177-st. john mouth , [his]177-st. john brow , which , to [my]233-mary perceptions , indicated elements within either restless , or hard , or eager . [He]177-st. john did not speak to [me]233-mary one word , nor even direct to [me]233-mary one glance , till [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters returned . [Diana]400-diana , as [she]400-diana passed in and out , in the course of preparing tea , brought [me]233-mary a little cake , baked on the top of the oven . "[233-mary] Eat that now , " [she]400-diana said : "[233-mary] [you]3413-you must be hungry . [Hannah]233-mary says [you]3413-you have had nothing but some gruel since breakfast . " [I]233-mary did not refuse it , for [my]233-mary appetite was awakened and keen . [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john now closed [his]177-st. john book , approached the table , and , as [he]177-st. john took a seat , fixed [his]177-st. john blue pictorial - looking eyes full on [me]233-mary . There was an unceremonious directness , a searching , decided steadfastness in [his]177-st. john gaze now , which told that intention , and not diffidence , had hitherto kept it averted from [the stranger]5632-the stranger . "[233-mary] [You]3413-you are very hungry , " [he]177-st. john said . "[233-mary] [I]0-i am , [sir]4374-sir . " It is [my]4374-sir way - it always was [my]4374-sir way , by instinct - ever to meet the brief with brevity , the direct with plainness . "[4374-sir] It is well for [you]3413-you that a low fever has forced [you]3413-you to abstain for the last three days : there would have been danger in yielding to the cravings of [your]3413-you appetite at first . Now [you]3413-you may eat , though still not immoderately . " "[0-i] [I]0-i trust [I]0-i shall not eat long at [your]4374-sir expense , [sir]4374-sir , " was [my]4374-sir very clumsily - contrived , unpolished answer . "[4374-sir] No , " [he]4374-sir said coolly : "[3413-you] when [you]3413-you have indicated to [us]3416-us [the residence of [[your]3413-you friends]6922-your friends]3417-the residence of your friends , [we]3416-us can write to [them]6922-your friends , and [you]3413-you may be restored to [home]509-home . " "[0-i] That , [I]0-i must plainly tell [you]4374-sir , is out of [my]0-i power to do ; being absolutely without [home]509-home and [friends]1114-friends . " [The three]7001-the three looked at [me]4374-sir , but not distrustfully ; [I]4374-sir felt there was no suspicion in [their]7001-the three glances : there was more of curiosity . [I]4374-sir speak particularly of [the young ladies]4509-the young ladies . [St. John]177-st. john 's eyes , though clear enough in a literal sense , in a figurative one were difficult to fathom . [He]177-st. john seemed to use them rather as instruments to search [other people]2855-other people 's thoughts , than as agents to reveal [his]177-st. john own : the which combination of keenness and reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than to encourage . "[4374-sir] Do [you]4374-sir mean to say , " [he]177-st. john asked , "[4374-sir] that [you]4374-sir are completely isolated from every connection ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do . Not a tie links [me]0-i to any living thing : not a claim do [I]0-i possess to admittance under any roof in [England]21-england . " "[0-i] A most singular position at [your]0-i age ! " Here [I]0-i saw [his]177-st. john glance directed to [my]0-i hands , which were folded on the table before [me]0-i . [I]0-i wondered what [he]177-st. john sought there : [his]177-st. john words soon explained the quest . "[0-i] [You]0-i have never been married ? [You]0-i are [a spinster]3422-a spinster ? " [Diana]400-diana laughed . "[3422-a spinster] Why , [she]3423-she ca n't [he]0-i above seventeen or eighteen years old , [St. John]177-st. john , " said [she]400-diana . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i am near nineteen : but [I]0-i am not married . No . " [I]177-st. john felt a burning glow mount to [my]177-st. john face ; for bitter and agitating recollections were awakened by the allusion to marriage . [They]7004-they all saw the embarrassment and the emotion . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary relieved [me]177-st. john by turning [their]7004-they eyes elsewhere than to [my]177-st. john crimsoned visage ; but [the colder and sterner brother]7005-the colder and sterner brother continued to gaze , till the trouble [he]7005-the colder and sterner brother had excited forced out tears as well as colour . "[177-st. john] Where did [you]0-i last reside ? " [he]7005-the colder and sterner brother now asked . "[177-st. john] [You]177-st. john are too inquisitive , [St. John]177-st. john , " murmured [Mary]233-mary in a low voice ; but [he]7005-the colder and sterner brother leaned over the table and required an answer by a second firm and piercing look . "[177-st. john] The name of the place where , and of [the person with whom [I]0-i lived]3424-the person with whom i lived , is [my]0-i secret , " [I]0-i replied concisely . "[0-i] Which , if [you]177-st. john like , [you]177-st. john have , in [my]0-i opinion , a right to keep , both from [St. John]177-st. john and [every other questioner]3425-every other questioner , " remarked [Diana]400-diana . "[177-st. john] Yet if [I]0-i know nothing about [you]177-st. john or [your]177-st. john history , [I]0-i can not help [you]177-st. john , " [he]0-i said . "[177-st. john] And [you]177-st. john need help , do [you]177-st. john not ? " "[177-st. john] [I]0-i need it , and [I]0-i seek it so far , [sir]4374-sir , that [some true philanthropist]3427-some true philanthropist will put [me]0-i in the way of getting work which [I]0-i can do , and the remuneration for which will keep [me]0-i , if but in the barest necessaries of life . " "[0-i] [I]0-i know not whether [I]0-i am [a true philanthropist]3428-a true philanthropist ; yet [I]0-i am willing to aid [you]177-st. john to the utmost of [my]0-i power in a purpose so honest . First , then , tell [me]0-i what [you]177-st. john have been accustomed to do , and what [you]177-st. john CAN do . " [I]177-st. john had now swallowed [my]177-st. john tea . [I]177-st. john was mightily refreshed by the beverage ; as much so as [a giant with wine]7006-a giant with wine : it gave new tone to [my]177-st. john unstrung nerves , and enabled [me]177-st. john to address [this penetrating young judge]7007-this penetrating young judge steadily . "[177-st. john] [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , " [I]177-st. john said , turning to [him]177-st. john , and looking at [him]177-st. john , as [he]177-st. john looked at [me]177-st. john , openly and without diffidence , "[177-st. john] [you]177-st. john and [[your]177-st. john sisters]4419-your sisters have done [me]0-i a great service - [the greatest man]3430-the greatest man can do [his]3430-the greatest man fellow- being ; [you]177-st. john have rescued [me]0-i , by [your]177-st. john noble hospitality , from death . This benefit conferred gives [you]177-st. john an unlimited claim on [my]0-i gratitude , and a claim , to a certain extent , on [my]0-i confidence . [I]0-i will tell [you]177-st. john as much of the history of [the wanderer [you]177-st. john have harboured]3431-the wanderer you have harboured , as [I]0-i can tell without compromising [my]0-i own peace of mind - [my]0-i own security , moral and physical , and that of [others]1041-others . " [I]0-i am [an orphan]4580-an orphan , [the daughter of [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman]7009-the daughter of a clergyman . [[My]0-i parents]7011-my parents died before [I]0-i could know [them]7011-my parents . [I]0-i was brought up [a dependant]7012-a dependant ; educated in [a charitable institution]7013-a charitable institution . [I]0-i will even tell [you]177-st. john the name of the establishment , where [I]0-i passed six years as [a pupil]7014-a pupil , and two as [a teacher]4885-a teacher - [Lowood Orphan Asylum]108-lowood orphan asylum , -shire : [you]177-st. john will have heard of it , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ? - [the Rev. Robert Brocklehurst]411-the rev. robert brocklehurst is [the treasurer]7016-the treasurer . "[0-i] " [I]0-i have heard of [Mr. Brocklehurst]196-mr. brocklehurst , and [I]0-i have seen [the school]4461-the school . "[0-i] " [I]0-i left [Lowood]25-lowood nearly a year since to become [a private governess]7018-a private governess . [I]0-i obtained a good situation , and was happy . [This place]2979-this place [I]0-i was obliged to leave four days before [I]0-i came [here]4312-here . The reason of [my]0-i departure [I]0-i can not and ought not to explain : it would be useless , dangerous , and would sound incredible . No blame attached to [me]0-i : [I]0-i am as free from culpability as [any one of [you]177-st. john three]7021-any one of you three . Miserable [I]0-i am , and must be for a time ; for the catastrophe which drove [me]0-i from [a house]4534-a house [I]0-i had found [a paradise]7023-a paradise was of a strange and direful nature . [I]0-i observed but two points in planning [my]0-i departure - speed , secrecy : to secure these , [I]0-i had to leave behind [me]0-i everything [I]0-i possessed except a small parcel ; which , in [my]0-i hurry and trouble of mind , [I]0-i forgot to take out of [the coach that brought [me]0-i to [Whitcross]99-whitcross]7024-the coach that brought me to whitcross . To [this neighbourhood]4594-this neighbourhood , then , [I]0-i came , quite destitute . [I]0-i slept two nights in the open air , and wandered about two days without crossing a threshold : but twice in that space of time did [I]0-i taste food ; and it was when brought by hunger , exhaustion , and despair almost to the last gasp , that [you]177-st. john , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , forbade [me]0-i to perish of want at [your]177-st. john door , and took [me]0-i under the shelter of [[your]177-st. john roof]7026-your roof . [I]0-i know all [[your]177-st. john sisters]4419-your sisters have done for [me]0-i since - for [I]0-i have not been insensible during [my]0-i seeming torpor - and [I]0-i owe to [their]4419-your sisters spontaneous , genuine , genial compassion as large a debt as to [your]177-st. john evangelical charity . "[0-i] " Do n't make [her]3433-her talk any more now , [St. John]177-st. john , "[400-diana] said [Diana]400-diana , as [I]0-i paused ; ' [she]3433-her is evidently not yet fit for excitement . Come to the sofa and sit down now , [Miss Elliott]412-miss elliott . " [I]412-miss elliott gave an involuntary half start at hearing the alias : [I]412-miss elliott had forgotten [my]412-miss elliott new name . [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , whom nothing seemed to escape , noticed it at once . "[412-miss elliott] [You]0-i said [your]0-i name was [Jane Elliott]406-jane elliott ? " [he]177-st. john observed . "[0-i] [I]0-i did say so ; and it is the name by which [I]0-i think it expedient to be called at present , but it is not [my]0-i real name , and when [I]0-i hear it , it sounds strange to [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [Your]0-i real name [you]0-i will not give ? " "[0-i] No : [I]0-i fear discovery above all things ; and whatever disclosure would lead to it , [I]0-i avoid . " "[0-i] [You]0-i are quite right , [I]0-i am sure , " said [Diana]400-diana . "[0-i] Now do , [brother]6627-brother , let [her]3435-her be at peace a while . " But when [St. John]177-st. john had mused a few moments [he]177-st. john recommenced as imperturbably and with as much acumen as ever . "[0-i] [You]0-i would not like to be long dependent on [our]3436-our hospitality - [you]0-i would wish , [I]0-i see , to dispense as soon as may be with [[my]0-i sisters]3437-my sisters ' compassion , and , above all , with [my]0-i CHARITY [I]0-i am quite sensible of the distinction drawn , nor do [I]0-i resent it - it is just : [you]0-i desire to be independent of [us]3436-our ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do : [I]0-i have already said so . Show [me]0-i how to work , or how to seek work : that is all [I]0-i now ask ; then let [me]0-i go , if it be but to [the meanest cottage]3438-the meanest cottage ; but till then , allow [me]0-i to stay here : [I]0-i dread another essay of the horrors of homeless destitution . " "[0-i] Indeed [you]0-i SHALL stay [here]4312-here , " said [Diana]400-diana , putting [her]400-diana white hand on [my]0-i head . "[0-i] [You]0-i SHALL , " repeated [Mary]233-mary , in the tone of undemonstrative sincerity which seemed natural to [her]233-mary . "[0-i] [[My]0-i sisters]3437-my sisters , [you]0-i see , have a pleasure in keeping [you]0-i , " said [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , "[3437-my sisters] as [they]3437-my sisters would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half - frozen bird , some wintry wind might have driven through [their]3437-my sisters casement . [I]0-i feel more inclination to put [you]0-i in the way of keeping [yourself]0-i , and shall endeavour to do so ; but observe , [my]0-i sphere is narrow . [I]0-i am but [the incumbent of [a poor country parish]3442-a poor country parish]3441-the incumbent of a poor country parish : [my]0-i aid must be of the humblest sort . And if [you]0-i are inclined to despise the day of small things , seek some more efficient succour than such as [I]0-i can offer . " "[3443-she] [She]3443-she has already said that [she]3443-she is willing to do anything honest [she]3443-she can do , " answered [Diana]400-diana for [me]3443-she ; "[3443-she] and [you]0-i know , [St. John]177-st. john , [she]3443-she has no choice of [helpers]3444-helpers : [she]3443-she is forced to put up with [such crusty people as [you]0-i]3445-such crusty people as you . " "[0-i] [I]0-i will be [a dressmaker]6942-a dressmaker ; [I]0-i will be [a plain - workwoman]3447-a plain - workwoman ; [I]0-i will be [a servant]4337-a servant , [a nurse - girl]3449-a nurse - girl , if [I]0-i can be no better , " [I]0-i answered . "[0-i] Right , " said [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , quite coolly . "[0-i] If such is [your]0-i spirit , [I]0-i promise to aid [you]0-i , in [my]0-i own time and way . " [He]177-st. john now resumed the book with which [he]177-st. john had been occupied before tea . [I]0-i soon withdrew , for [I]0-i had talked as much , and sat up as long , as [my]0-i present strength would permit . CHAPTER XXX The more [I]0-i knew of [the inmates of [Moor House]104-moor house]7028-the inmates of moor house , the better [I]0-i liked [them]7028-the inmates of moor house . In a few days [I]0-i had so far recovered [my]0-i health that [I]0-i could sit up all day , and walk out sometimes . [I]0-i could join with [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary in all [their]7028-the inmates of moor house occupations ; converse with [them]7028-the inmates of moor house as much as [they]7028-the inmates of moor house wished , and aid [them]7028-the inmates of moor house when and where [they]7028-the inmates of moor house would allow [me]0-i . There was a reviving pleasure in this intercourse , of a kind now tasted by [me]0-i for the first time - the pleasure arising from perfect congeniality of tastes , sentiments , and principles . [I]0-i liked to read what [they]7028-the inmates of moor house liked to read : what [they]7028-the inmates of moor house enjoyed , delighted [me]0-i ; what [they]7028-the inmates of moor house approved , [I]0-i reverenced . [They]7028-the inmates of moor house loved [[their]7028-the inmates of moor house sequestered home]7029-their sequestered home . [I]0-i , too , in [the grey , small , antique structure , with [its]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof low roof]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof , [its]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof latticed casements , [its]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof mouldering walls , [its]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof avenue of aged firs - all grown aslant under the stress of mountain winds ; [[its]7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof garden]1190-its garden , dark with yew and holly - and where no flowers but of the hardiest species would bloom - found a charm both potent and permanent . [They]7028-the inmates of moor house clung to the purple moors behind and around [[their]7028-the inmates of moor house dwelling]7032-their dwelling - to [the hollow vale into which the pebbly bridle - path leading from [their]7028-the inmates of moor house gate]7033-the hollow vale into which the pebbly bridle - path leading from their gate descended , and which wound between fern - banks first , and then amongst a few of the wildest little pasture - fields that ever bordered [a wilderness of heath]7034-a wilderness of heath , or gave sustenance to a flock of grey moorland sheep , with [their]7028-the inmates of moor house little mossy - faced lambs:- [they]7028-the inmates of moor house clung to this scene , [I]0-i say , with a perfect enthusiasm of attachment . [I]0-i could comprehend the feeling , and share both its strength and truth . [I]0-i saw the fascination of [the locality]7035-the locality . [I]0-i felt the consecration of its loneliness : [my]0-i eye feasted on the outline of swell and sweep - on the wild colouring communicated to ridge and dell by moss , by heath - bell , by flower - sprinkled turf , by brilliant bracken , and mellow granite crag . These details were just to [me]0-i what they were to [them]7028-the inmates of moor house - so many pure and sweet sources of pleasure . The strong blast and the soft breeze ; the rough and the halcyon day ; the hours of sunrise and sunset ; the moonlight and the clouded night , developed for [me]0-i , in [these regions]3275-these regions , the same attraction as for [them]7028-the inmates of moor house - wound round [my]0-i faculties the same spell that entranced [theirs]7028-the inmates of moor house . Indoors [we]7037-we agreed equally well . [They]7028-the inmates of moor house were both more accomplished and better read than [I]0-i was ; but with eagerness [I]0-i followed in the path of knowledge [they]7028-the inmates of moor house had trodden before [me]0-i . [I]0-i devoured the books [they]7028-the inmates of moor house lent [me]0-i : then it was full satisfaction to discuss with [them]7028-the inmates of moor house in the evening what [I]0-i had perused during the day . Thought fitted thought ; opinion met opinion : [we]7037-we coincided , in short , perfectly . If in [our]7037-we trio there was [a superior and a leader]7038-a superior and a leader , it was [Diana]400-diana . Physically , [she]400-diana far excelled [me]0-i : [she]400-diana was handsome ; [she]400-diana was vigorous . In [her]400-diana animal spirits there was an affluence of life and certainty of flow , such as excited [my]0-i wonder , while it baffled [my]0-i comprehension . [I]0-i could talk a while when the evening commenced , but the first gush of vivacity and fluency gone , [I]0-i was fain to sit on a stool at [Diana]400-diana 's feet , to rest [my]0-i head on [her]400-diana knee , and listen alternately to [her]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary , while [they]7028-the inmates of moor house sounded thoroughly the topic on which [I]0-i had but touched . [Diana]400-diana offered to teach [me]0-i German . [I]0-i liked to learn of [her]400-diana : [I]0-i saw the part of instructress pleased and suited [her]400-diana ; that of [scholar]7039-scholar pleased and suited [me]0-i no less . [Our]7040-our natures dovetailed : mutual affection - of the strongest kind - was the result . [They]7028-the inmates of moor house discovered [I]0-i could draw : [their]7028-the inmates of moor house pencils and colour - boxes were immediately at [my]0-i service . [My]0-i skill , greater in this one point than theirs , surprised and charmed [them]7028-the inmates of moor house . [Mary]233-mary would sit and watch [me]0-i by the hour together : then [she]233-mary would take lessons ; and [a docile , intelligent , assiduous pupil]7041-a docile , intelligent , assiduous pupil [she]233-mary made . Thus occupied , and mutually entertained , days passed like hours , and weeks like days . As to [Mr. St John]413-mr. st john , the intimacy which had arisen so naturally and rapidly between [me]0-i and [[his]413-mr. st john sisters]4311-his sisters did not extend to [him]413-mr. st john . One reason of the distance yet observed between [us]7040-our was , that [he]413-mr. st john was comparatively seldom at [home]509-home : a large proportion of [his]413-mr. st john time appeared devoted to visiting [the sick]1203-the sick and poor among [the scattered population of [[his]413-mr. st john parish]7046-his parish]7045-the scattered population of his parish . No weather seemed to hinder [him]413-mr. st john in these pastoral excursions : rain or fair , [he]413-mr. st john would , when [his]413-mr. st john hours of morning study were over , take [his]413-mr. st john hat , and , followed by [[his]413-mr. st john father]5218-his father 's old pointer , [Carlo]414-carlo , go out on [his]413-mr. st john mission of love or duty - [I]0-i scarcely know in which light [he]413-mr. st john regarded it . Sometimes , when the day was very unfavourable , [[his]413-mr. st john sisters]4311-his sisters would expostulate . [He]413-mr. st john would then say , with a peculiar smile , more solemn than cheerful - "[0-i] And if [I]0-i let a gust of wind or a sprinkling of rain turn [me]0-i aside from these easy tasks , what preparation would such sloth be for the future [I]0-i propose to [myself]0-i ? " [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary 's general answer to this question was a sigh , and some minutes of apparently mournful meditation . But besides [his]413-mr. st john frequent absences , there was another barrier to friendship with [him]413-mr. st john : [he]413-mr. st john seemed of a reserved , [an abstracted , and even of a brooding nature]7049-an abstracted , and even of a brooding nature . Zealous in [his]413-mr. st john ministerial labours , blameless in [his]413-mr. st john life and habits , [he]413-mr. st john yet did not appear to enjoy that mental serenity , that inward content , which should be the reward of [every sincere Christian and practical philanthropist]7050-every sincere christian and practical philanthropist . Often , of an evening , when [he]413-mr. st john sat at the window , [his]413-mr. st john desk and papers before [him]413-mr. st john , [he]413-mr. st john would cease reading or writing , rest [his]413-mr. st john chin on [his]413-mr. st john hand , and deliver [himself]413-mr. st john up to [I]3450-i know not what course of thought ; but that it was perturbed and exciting might be seen in the frequent flash and changeful dilation of [his]413-mr. st john eye . [I]3450-i think , moreover , that Nature was not to [him]413-mr. st john that treasury of delight it was to [[his]413-mr. st john sisters]4311-his sisters . [He]413-mr. st john expressed once , and but once in [my]3450-i hearing , a strong sense of the rugged charm of [the hills]7052-the hills , and an inborn affection for the dark roof and hoary walls [he]413-mr. st john called [[his]413-mr. st john home]7053-his home ; but there was more of gloom than pleasure in the tone and words in which the sentiment was manifested ; and never did [he]413-mr. st john seem to roam [the moors]7054-the moors for the sake of [their]7054-the moors soothing silence - never seek out or dwell upon the thousand peaceful delights [they]7054-the moors could yield . Incommunicative as [he]413-mr. st john was , some time elapsed before [I]3450-i had an opportunity of gauging [his]413-mr. st john mind . [I]3450-i first got an idea of its calibre when [I]3450-i heard [him]413-mr. st john preach in [[his]413-mr. st john own church]7055-his own church at [Morton]105-morton . [I]3450-i wish [I]3450-i could describe that sermon : but it is past [my]3450-i power . [I]3450-i can not even render faithfully the effect it produced on [me]3450-i . It began calm - and indeed , as far as delivery and pitch of voice went , it was calm to the end : an earnestly felt , yet strictly restrained zeal breathed soon in the distinct accents , and prompted the nervous language . This grew to force - compressed , condensed , controlled . The heart was thrilled , the mind astonished , by the power of [the preacher]7056-the preacher : neither were softened . Throughout there was a strange bitterness ; an absence of consolatory gentleness ; stern allusions to Calvinistic doctrines - election , predestination , reprobation - were frequent ; and each reference to these points sounded like a sentence pronounced for doom . When [he]413-mr. st john had done , instead of feeling better , calmer , more enlightened by [his]413-mr. st john discourse , [I]3450-i experienced an inexpressible sadness ; for it seemed to [me]3450-i - [I]3450-i know not whether equally so to [others]1041-others - that the eloquence to which [I]3450-i had been listening had sprung from a depth where lay turbid dregs of disappointment - where moved troubling impulses of insatiate yearnings and disquieting aspirations . [I]3450-i was sure [St. John Rivers]177-st. john - pure - lived , conscientious , zealous as [he]177-st. john was - had not yet found that peace of [God]180-mrs. fairfax which passeth all understanding : [he]177-st. john had no more found it , [I]3450-i thought , than had [I]3450-i with [my]3450-i concealed and racking regrets for [my]3450-i broken idol and lost elysium - regrets to which [I]3450-i have latterly avoided referring , but which possessed [me]3450-i and tyrannised over [me]3450-i ruthlessly . Meantime a month was gone . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary were soon to leave [Moor House]104-moor house , and return to the far different life and scene which awaited [them]7058-their , as governesses in [a large , fashionable , south - of - [England city]7060-england city]7059-a large , fashionable , south - of - england city , where [each]898-each held a situation in [families by whose wealthy and haughty members [they]7058-their were regarded only as [humble dependants]7063-humble dependants , and who neither knew nor sought out [their]7058-their innate excellences , and appreciated only [their]7058-their acquired accomplishments as [they]7058-their appreciated the skill of [[their]7058-their cook]7064-their cook or the taste of [[their]7058-their waiting - woman]7065-their waiting - woman]7062-families by whose wealthy and haughty members they were regarded only as humble dependants , and who neither knew nor sought out their innate excellences , and appreciated only their acquired accomplishments as they appreciated the skill of their cook or the taste of their waiting - woman . [Mr. St. John]177-st. john had said nothing to [me]3450-i yet about the employment [he]177-st. john had promised to obtain for [me]3450-i ; yet it became urgent that [I]3450-i should have a vocation of some kind . One morning , being left alone with [him]177-st. john a few minutes in [the parlour]793-the parlour , [I]3450-i ventured to approach the window - recess - which [his]177-st. john table , chair , and desk consecrated as a kind of study - and [I]3450-i was going to speak , though not very well knowing in what words to frame [my]3450-i inquiry - for it is at all times difficult to break the ice of reserve glassing over such natures as [his]177-st. john - when [he]177-st. john saved [me]3450-i the trouble by being the first to commence a dialogue . Looking up as [I]3450-i drew near - "[3450-i] [You]3450-i have a question to ask of [me]0-i ? " [he]177-st. john said . "[3450-i] Yes ; [I]0-i wish to know whether [you]3450-i have heard of any service [I]0-i can offer [myself]0-i to undertake ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i found or devised something for [you]3450-i three weeks ago ; but as [you]3450-i seemed both useful and happy here - as [[my]0-i sisters]3437-my sisters had evidently become attached to [you]3450-i , and [[your]3450-i society]3452-your society gave [them]3437-my sisters unusual pleasure - [I]0-i deemed it inexpedient to break in on [your]3450-i mutual comfort till [their]3437-my sisters approaching departure from [Marsh End]101-marsh end should render [yours]3450-i necessary . " "[0-i] And [they]3437-my sisters will go in three days now ? " [I]3437-my sisters said . "[3437-my sisters] Yes ; and when [they]3437-my sisters go , [I]0-i shall return to [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage at [Morton]105-morton : [Hannah]233-mary will accompany [me]0-i ; and [this old house]3454-this old house will be shut up . " [I]233-mary waited a few moments , expecting [he]0-i would go on with the subject first broached : but [he]0-i seemed to have entered another train of reflection : [his]0-i look denoted abstraction from [me]233-mary and [my]233-mary business . [I]233-mary was obliged to recall [him]0-i to a theme which was of necessity one of close and anxious interest to [me]233-mary . "[233-mary] What is the employment [you]0-i had in view , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ? [I]0-i hope this delay will not have increased the difficulty of securing it . " "[0-i] Oh , no ; since it is an employment which depends only on [me]0-i to give , and [you]0-i to accept . " [He]0-i again paused : there seemed a reluctance to continue . [I]0-i grew impatient : a restless movement or two , and an eager and exacting glance fastened on [his]0-i face , conveyed the feeling to [him]0-i as effectually as words could have done , and with less trouble . "[0-i] [You]0-i need be in no hurry to hear , " [he]0-i said : "[0-i] let [me]0-i frankly tell [you]0-i , [I]0-i have nothing eligible or profitable to suggest . Before [I]0-i explain , recall , if [you]0-i please , [my]0-i notice , clearly given , that if [I]0-i helped [you]0-i , it must be as [the blind man]3455-the blind man would help [the lame]3456-the lame . [I]0-i am poor ; for [I]0-i find that , when [I]0-i have paid [[my]0-i father]682-my father 's debts , all the patrimony remaining to [me]0-i will be [this crumbling grange]3458-this crumbling grange , the row of scathed firs behind , and [the patch of moorish soil]3459-the patch of moorish soil , with the yew - trees and holly - bushes in front . [I]0-i am obscure : [Rivers]177-st. john is an old name ; but of [the three sole descendants of the race]3460-the three sole descendants of the race , two earn [the dependant]3461-the dependant 's crust among [strangers]1704-strangers , and [the third]1983-the third considers [himself]1983-the third [an alien from [[his]1983-the third native country]3465-his native country]3464-an alien from his native country - not only for life , but in death . Yes , and deems , and is bound to deem , [himself]1983-the third honoured by [the lot]3466-the lot , and aspires but after the day when the cross of separation from fleshly ties shall be laid on [his]1983-the third shoulders , and when [the Head of [that church]6523-that church]3467-the head of that church - [militant of whose humblest members [he]1983-the third is one]3469-militant of whose humblest members he is one , shall give the word , ' Rise , follow [Me]0-i ! ' " [St. John]177-st. john said these words as [he]0-i pronounced [his]0-i sermons , with a quiet , deep voice ; with an unflushed cheek , and a coruscating radiance of glance . [He]0-i resumed - "[3467-the head of that church] And since [I]0-i am [myself]0-i poor and obscure , [I]0-i can offer [you]3470-your but a service of poverty and obscurity . [YOU]3470-your may even think it degrading - for [I]0-i see now [your]3470-your habits have been what [the world]484-the world calls refined : [your]3470-your tastes lean to the ideal , and [[your]3470-your society]3452-your society has at least been amongst [the educated]3473-the educated ; but [I]0-i consider that no service degrades which can better [[our]3474-our race]3475-our race . [I]0-i hold that the more arid and unreclaimed [the soil where [the Christian labourer]3477-the christian labourer 's task of tillage]3476-the soil where the christian labourer 's task of tillage is appointed [him]3477-the christian labourer - the scantier the meed [his]3477-the christian labourer toil brings - the higher the honour . [His]3477-the christian labourer , under such circumstances , is the destiny of [the pioneer]3478-the pioneer ; and [the first pioneers of the Gospel]3479-the first pioneers of the gospel were [the Apostles]415-the apostles - [[their]415-the apostles captain]3480-their captain was [Jesus]416-jesus , [the Redeemer]3481-the redeemer , [Himself]3481-the redeemer . " "[3481-the redeemer] Well ? " [I]3481-the redeemer said , as [he]0-i again paused - "[3481-the redeemer] proceed . " [He]0-i looked at [me]0-i before [he]0-i proceeded : indeed , [he]0-i seemed leisurely to read [my]0-i face , as if its features and lines were characters on a page . The conclusions drawn from this scrutiny [he]0-i partially expressed in [his]0-i succeeding observations . "[0-i] [I]0-i believe [you]3482-you will accept the post [I]0-i offer [you]3482-you , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] and hold it for a while : not permanently , though : any more than [I]0-i could permanently keep the narrow and narrowing - [the tranquil , hidden office of [English country]3484-english country incumbent]3483-the tranquil , hidden office of english country incumbent ; for in [your]3482-you nature is an alloy as detrimental to repose as that in [mine]0-i , though of a different kind . " "[3482-you] Do explain , " [I]0-i urged , when [he]0-i halted once more . "[0-i] [I]0-i will ; and [you]3482-you shall hear how poor the proposal is , - how trivial - how cramping . [I]0-i shall not stay long at [Morton]105-morton , now that [[my]0-i father]682-my father is dead , and that [I]0-i am [[my]0-i own master]3486-my own master . [I]0-i shall leave [the place]1554-the place probably in the course of a twelve - month ; but while [I]0-i do stay , [I]0-i will exert [myself]0-i to the utmost for its improvement . [Morton]105-morton , when [I]0-i came to [it]105-morton two years ago , had [no school]3488-no school : [the children of [the poor]3490-the poor]3489-the children of the poor were excluded from every hope of progress . [I]0-i established one for [boys]1009-boys : [I]0-i mean now to open [a second school]3492-a second school for [girls]3493-girls . [I]0-i have hired [a building for the purpose]3494-a building for the purpose , with [a cottage of two rooms]3495-a cottage of two rooms attached to [it]3494-a building for the purpose for [[the mistress]5991-the mistress 's house]3497-the mistress 's house . [Her]5991-the mistress salary will be thirty pounds a year : [[her]5991-the mistress house]1308-her house is already furnished , very simply , but sufficiently , by the kindness of [a lady]4932-a lady , [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver ; [the only daughter of [the sole rich man in [my]0-i parish]3501-the sole rich man in my parish]3500-the only daughter of the sole rich man in my parish - [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver , [the proprietor of [a needle - factory]3503-a needle - factory and iron - foundry in [the valley]6769-the valley]3502-the proprietor of a needle - factory and iron - foundry in the valley . [The same lady]3505-the same lady pays for the education and clothing of [an orphan from [the workhouse]3507-the workhouse]3506-an orphan from the workhouse , on condition that [she]3505-the same lady shall aid [the mistress]5991-the mistress in such menial offices connected with [[her]3505-the same lady own house]3509-her own house and [the school]4461-the school as [her]3505-the same lady occupation of teaching will prevent [her]3505-the same lady having time to discharge in person . Will [you]0-i be [this mistress]3511-this mistress ? " [He]399-mr. oliver put the question rather hurriedly ; [he]399-mr. oliver seemed half to expect an indignant , or at least a disdainful rejection of the offer : not knowing all [my]0-i thoughts and feelings , though guessing some , [he]399-mr. oliver could not tell in what light [the lot]3466-the lot would appear to [me]0-i . In truth it was humble - but then it was sheltered , and [I]0-i wanted [a safe asylum]7068-a safe asylum : it was plodding - but then , compared with that of [a governess in [a rich house]7070-a rich house]7069-a governess in a rich house , it was independent ; and the fear of servitude with [strangers]1704-strangers entered [my]0-i soul like iron : it was not ignoble - not unworthy - not mentally degrading , [I]0-i made [my]0-i decision . "[0-i] [I]0-i thank [you]0-i for the proposal , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , and [I]0-i accept it with all [my]0-i heart . " "[0-i] But [you]177-st. john comprehend [me]0-i ? " [he]0-i said . "[177-st. john] It is [a village school]3512-a village school : [[your]177-st. john scholars]3513-your scholars will be only [poor girls]3514-poor girls - [[cottagers]3515-cottagers ' children]3516-cottagers ' children - at the best , [farmers ' daughters]3517-farmers ' daughters . Knitting , sewing , reading , writing , ciphering , will be all [you]177-st. john will have to teach . What will [you]177-st. john do with [your]177-st. john accomplishments ? What , with the largest portion of [your]177-st. john mind - sentiments - tastes ? " "[177-st. john] Save [them]3518-they till [they]3518-they are wanted . [They]3518-they will keep . " "[177-st. john] [You]177-st. john know what [you]177-st. john undertake , then ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i do . " [He]177-st. john now smiled : and not a bitter or a sad smile , but one well pleased and deeply gratified . "[0-i] And when will [you]177-st. john commence the exercise of [your]177-st. john function ? " "[177-st. john] [I]0-i will go to [[my]0-i house]4395-my house to - morrow , and open [the school]4461-the school , if [you]177-st. john like , next week . " "[0-i] Very well : so be it . " [He]177-st. john rose and walked through [the room]535-the room . Standing still , [he]177-st. john again looked at [me]0-i . [He]177-st. john shook [his]177-st. john head . "[0-i] What do [you]177-st. john disapprove of , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ? " [I]177-st. john asked . "[177-st. john] [You]177-st. john will not stay at [Morton]105-morton long : no , no ! " "[177-st. john] Why ? What is [your]177-st. john reason for saying so ? " "[177-st. john] [I]0-i read it in [your]177-st. john eye ; it is not of that description which promises the maintenance of an even tenor in life . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am not ambitious . " [He]177-st. john started at the word "[0-i] ambitious . " [He]177-st. john repeated , "[0-i] No . What made [you]177-st. john think of ambition ? Who is ambitious ? [I]0-i know [I]0-i am : but how did [you]177-st. john find it out ? " "[177-st. john] [I]0-i was speaking of [myself]0-i . " "[0-i] Well , if [you]177-st. john are not ambitious , [you]177-st. john are - " [He]177-st. john paused . "[177-st. john] What ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i was going to say , impassioned : but perhaps [you]177-st. john would have misunderstood the word , and been displeased . [I]0-i mean , that human affections and sympathies have a most powerful hold on [you]177-st. john . [I]0-i am sure [you]177-st. john can not long be content to pass [your]177-st. john leisure in solitude , and to devote [your]177-st. john working hours to a monotonous labour wholly void of stimulus : any more than [I]0-i can be content , " [he]0-i added , with emphasis , "[0-i] to live here buried in [morass]111-morass , pent in with mountains - [my]0-i nature , that [God]180-mrs. fairfax gave [me]0-i , contravened ; [my]0-i faculties , heaven - bestowed , paralysed - made useless . [You]177-st. john hear now how [I]0-i contradict [myself]0-i . [I]0-i , who preached contentment with a humble lot , and justified the vocation even of hewers of wood and drawers of water in [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's service - [I]0-i , [[His]0-i ordained minister]3521-his ordained minister , almost rave in [my]0-i restlessness . Well , propensities and principles must be reconciled by some means . " [He]0-i left [the room]535-the room . In this brief hour [I]0-i had learnt more of [him]0-i than in the whole previous month : yet still [he]0-i puzzled [me]0-i . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary Rivers]407-mary became more sad and silent as the day approached for leaving [[their]7074-they brother]6916-their brother and [[their]7074-they home]7076-their home . [They]7074-they both tried to appear as usual ; but the sorrow [they]7074-they had to struggle against was one that could not be entirely conquered or concealed . [Diana]400-diana intimated that this would be a different parting from any [they]7074-they had ever yet known . It would probably , as far as [St. John]177-st. john was concerned , be a parting for years : it might be a parting for life . "[0-i] [He]0-i will sacrifice all to [his]0-i long - framed resolves , " [she]400-diana said : "[0-i] natural affection and feelings more potent still . [St. John]177-st. john looks quiet , [Jane]406-jane elliott ; but [he]177-st. john hides a fever in [his]177-st. john vitals . [You]3522-you would think [him]177-st. john gentle , yet in some things [he]177-st. john is inexorable as death ; and the worst of it is , [my]0-i conscience will hardly permit [me]0-i to dissuade [him]177-st. john from [his]177-st. john severe decision : certainly , [I]0-i can not for a moment blame [him]177-st. john for it . It is right , [noble]3523-noble , [Christian]418-christian : yet it breaks [my]0-i heart ! " And the tears gushed to [her]406-jane elliott fine eyes . [Mary]407-mary bent [her]407-mary head low over [her]407-mary work . "[3524-we] [We]3524-we are now without [father]718-father : [we]3524-we shall soon be without [home]509-home and [brother]6627-brother , " [she]407-mary murmured , At that moment a little accident supervened , which seemed decreed by fate purposely to prove the truth of the adage , that "[3524-we] misfortunes never come singly , " and to add to [their]3524-we distresses the vexing one of the slip between the cup and the lip . [St. John]177-st. john passed the window reading a letter . [He]177-st. john entered . "[3524-we] [[Our]3524-we uncle]3528-our uncle [John]177-st. john is dead , " said [he]177-st. john . [Both the sisters]7077-both the sisters seemed struck : not shocked or appalled ; the tidings appeared in [their]7077-both the sisters eyes rather momentous than afflicting . "[177-st. john] Dead ? " repeated [Diana]400-diana . "[3524-we] Yes . " [She]400-diana riveted a searching gaze on [[her]400-diana brother]6047-her brother 's face . "[3524-we] And what then ? " [she]400-diana demanded , in a low voice . "[419-die] What then , [Die]419-die ? " [he]6047-her brother replied , maintaining a marble immobility of feature . "[419-die] What then ? Why - nothing . Read . " [He]6047-her brother threw the letter into [her]400-diana lap . [She]400-diana glanced over it , and handed it to [Mary]407-mary . [Mary]407-mary perused it in silence , and returned it to [[her]400-diana brother]6047-her brother . [All three]3336-all three looked at [each other]724-each other , and [all three]3336-all three smiled - a dreary , pensive smile enough . "[419-die] Amen ! [We]3529-we can yet live , " said [Diana]400-diana at last . "[419-die] At any rate , it makes [us]3529-we no worse off than [we]3529-we were before , " remarked [Mary]407-mary . "[419-die] Only it forces rather strongly on the mind the picture of what MIGHT HAVE BEEN , " said [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , "[419-die] and contrasts it somewhat too vividly with what IS . " [He]177-st. john folded the letter , locked it in [his]177-st. john desk , and again went out . For some minutes [no one]593-no one spoke . [Diana]400-diana then turned to [me]406-jane elliott . "[406-jane elliott] [Jane]406-jane elliott , [you]406-jane elliott will wonder at [us]3529-we and [our]3529-we mysteries , " [she]400-diana said , "[406-jane elliott] and think [us]3529-we [hard - hearted beings]3530-hard - hearted beings not to be more moved at the death of [so near a relation]3531-so near a relation as [an uncle]3532-an uncle ; but [we]3529-we have never seen [him]3532-an uncle or known [him]3532-an uncle . [He]3532-an uncle was [[[my]0-i mother]612-my mother 's brother]613-my mother 's brother . [[My]0-i father]682-my father and [he]682-my father quarrelled long ago . It was by [his]682-my father advice that [[my]0-i father]682-my father risked most of [his]682-my father property in the speculation that ruined [him]682-my father . Mutual recrimination passed between [them]3537-them : [they]3537-them parted in anger , and were never reconciled . [[My]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle engaged afterwards in more prosperous undertakings : it appears [he]4421-my uncle realised a fortune of twenty thousand pounds . [He]4421-my uncle was never married , and had [no near kindred]3539-no near kindred but [ourselves]3540-ourselves and [one other person]3541-one other person , not more closely related than [we]3540-ourselves . [[My]0-i father]682-my father always cherished the idea that [he]682-my father would atone for [his]682-my father error by leaving [his]682-my father possessions to [us]3540-ourselves ; that letter informs [us]3540-ourselves that [he]682-my father has bequeathed every penny to the other relation , with the exception of thirty guineas , to be divided between [St. John]177-st. john , [Diana]400-diana , and [Mary Rivers]407-mary , for the purchase of three mourning rings . [He]682-my father had a right , of course , to do as [he]682-my father pleased : and yet a momentary damp is cast on the spirits by the receipt of such news . [Mary]407-mary and [I]0-i would have esteemed [ourselves]3540-ourselves rich with a thousand pounds each ; and to [St. John]177-st. john such a sum would have been valuable , for the good it would have enabled [him]177-st. john to do . " This explanation given , the subject was dropped , and no further reference made to it by either [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john or [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters . The next day [I]177-st. john left [Marsh End]101-marsh end for [Morton]105-morton . The day after , [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]407-mary quitted it for distant B- . In a week , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john and [Hannah]233-mary repaired to [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage : and so [the old grange]7086-the old grange was abandoned . CHAPTER XXXI [[My]177-st. john home]2680-my home , then , when [I]177-st. john at last find [a home]4344-a home , - is [a cottage]6848-a cottage ; [a little room with whitewashed walls and a sanded floor , containing four painted chairs and a table , a clock , a cupboard , with two or three plates and dishes , and a set of tea - things in delf]7090-a little room with whitewashed walls and a sanded floor , containing four painted chairs and a table , a clock , a cupboard , with two or three plates and dishes , and a set of tea - things in delf . Above , [a chamber of the same dimensions as [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers]7091-a chamber of the same dimensions as the kitchen , with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers ; small , yet too large to be filled with [my]177-st. john scanty wardrobe : though the kindness of [[my]177-st. john gentle and generous friends]7093-my gentle and generous friends has increased that , by a modest stock of such things as are necessary . It is evening . [I]177-st. john have dismissed , with the fee of an orange , [the little orphan who serves [me]177-st. john as [a handmaid]7095-a handmaid]7094-the little orphan who serves me as a handmaid . [I]177-st. john am sitting alone on the hearth . This morning , [the village school]7096-the village school opened . [I]177-st. john had [twenty scholars]7097-twenty scholars . But three of the number can read : [none]914-none write or cipher . Several knit , and a few sew a little . [They]7097-twenty scholars speak with the broadest accent of [the district]1384-the district . At present , [they]7097-twenty scholars and [I]177-st. john have a difficulty in understanding [each other]724-each other 's language . [Some of [them]7097-twenty scholars]2057-some of them are unmannered , rough , intractable , as well as ignorant ; but [others]1041-others are docile , have a wish to learn , and evince a disposition that pleases [me]177-st. john . [I]177-st. john must not forget that [these coarsely - clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy]7103-these coarsely - clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy ; and that the germs of native excellence , refinement , intelligence , kind feeling , are as likely to exist in [their]7097-twenty scholars hearts as in those of the best - born . [My]177-st. john duty will be to develop these germs : surely [I]177-st. john shall find some happiness in discharging [that office]7104-that office . Much enjoyment [I]177-st. john do not expect in the life opening before [me]177-st. john : yet it will , doubtless , if [I]177-st. john regulate [my]177-st. john mind , and exert [my]177-st. john powers as [I]177-st. john ought , yield [me]177-st. john enough to live on from day to day . Was [I]177-st. john very gleeful , settled , content , during the hours [I]177-st. john passed in [yonder bare , humble schoolroom]7105-yonder bare , humble schoolroom this morning and afternoon ? Not to deceive [myself]177-st. john , [I]177-st. john must reply - No : [I]177-st. john felt desolate to a degree . [I]177-st. john felt - yes , idiot that [I]177-st. john am - [I]177-st. john felt degraded . [I]177-st. john doubted [I]177-st. john had taken a step which sank instead of raising [me]177-st. john in the scale of social existence . [I]177-st. john was weakly dismayed at the ignorance , the poverty , the coarseness of all [I]177-st. john heard and saw round [me]177-st. john . But let [me]177-st. john not hate and despise [myself]177-st. john too much for these feelings ; [I]177-st. john know them to be wrong - that is a great step gained ; [I]177-st. john shall strive to overcome [them]7106-them . To - morrow , [I]177-st. john trust , [I]177-st. john shall get the better of [them]7106-them partially ; and in a few weeks , perhaps , [they]7106-them will be quite subdued . In a few months , it is possible , the happiness of seeing progress , and a change for the better in [[my]177-st. john scholars]7107-my scholars may substitute gratification for disgust . Meantime , let [me]177-st. john ask [myself]177-st. john one question - Which is better ? - To have surrendered to temptation ; listened to passion ; made no painful effort - no struggle ; - but to have sunk down in the silken snare ; fallen asleep on the flowers covering it ; wakened in a southern clime , amongst the luxuries of [a pleasure villa]7108-a pleasure villa : to have been now living in [France]33-france , [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's mistress]7109-mr. rochester 's mistress ; delirious with [his]251-mr. rochester love half [my]177-st. john time - for [he]251-mr. rochester would - oh , yes , [he]251-mr. rochester would have loved [me]177-st. john well for a while . [He]251-mr. rochester DID love [me]177-st. john - [no one]593-no one will ever love [me]177-st. john so again . [I]177-st. john shall never more know the sweet homage given to beauty , youth , and grace - for never to [any one else]4384-any one else shall [I]177-st. john seem to possess these charms . [He]251-mr. rochester was fond and proud of [me]177-st. john - it is what [no man]7112-no man besides will ever be . - But where am [I]177-st. john wandering , and what am [I]177-st. john saying , and above all , feeling ? Whether is it better , [I]177-st. john ask , to be [a slave in [[a fool]1546-a fool 's paradise at [Marseilles]112-marseilles]7115-a fool 's paradise at marseilles]7113-a slave in a fool 's paradise at marseilles - fevered with delusive bliss one hour - suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the next - or to be a village - [schoolmistress]7116-schoolmistress , free and honest , in [a breezy mountain nook in [the healthy heart of [England]21-england]7118-the healthy heart of england]7117-a breezy mountain nook in the healthy heart of england ? Yes ; [I]177-st. john feel now that [I]177-st. john was right when [I]177-st. john adhered to principle and law , and scorned and crushed the insane promptings of a frenzied moment . [God]180-mrs. fairfax directed [me]177-st. john to a correct choice : [I]177-st. john thank [His]251-mr. rochester providence for the guidance ! Having brought [my]177-st. john eventide musings to this point , [I]177-st. john rose , went to [my]177-st. john door , and looked at the sunset of the harvest - day , and at the quiet fields before [[my]177-st. john cottage]7119-my cottage , which , with [the school]4461-the school , was distant half a mile from [the village]6777-the village . The birds were singing their last strains - "[177-st. john] The air was mild , the dew was balm . " While [I]177-st. john looked , [I]177-st. john thought [myself]177-st. john happy , and was surprised to find [myself]177-st. john ere long weeping - and why ? For the doom which had reft [me]177-st. john from adhesion to [[my]177-st. john master]4336-my master : for [him]4336-my master [I]177-st. john was no more to see ; for the desperate grief and fatal fury - consequences of [my]177-st. john departure - which might now , perhaps , be dragging [him]4336-my master from the path of right , too far to leave hope of ultimate restoration thither . At this thought , [I]177-st. john turned [my]177-st. john face aside from the lovely sky of eve and [lonely vale of [Morton]105-morton]7123-lonely vale of morton - [I]177-st. john say [LONELY]420-lonely , for in that bend of [it]7124-it visible to [me]177-st. john there was [no building apparent save [the church]6498-the church and [the parsonage]6816-the parsonage]7125-no building apparent save the church and the parsonage , half - hid in trees , and , quite at the extremity , the roof of [Vale Hall]113-vale hall , where [the rich Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver and [[his]399-mr. oliver daughter]7128-his daughter lived . [I]177-st. john hid [my]177-st. john eyes , and leant [my]177-st. john head against the stone frame of [my]177-st. john door ; but soon a slight noise near the wicket which shut in [[my]177-st. john tiny garden]7129-my tiny garden from [the meadow beyond]7130-the meadow beyond [it]7129-my tiny garden made [me]177-st. john look up . [A dog - old Carlo]7131-a dog - old carlo , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ' pointer , as [I]177-st. john saw in a moment - was pushing the gate with [his]7131-a dog - old carlo nose , and [St. John]177-st. john [himself]177-st. john leant upon it with folded arms ; [his]177-st. john brow knit , [his]177-st. john gaze , grave almost to displeasure , fixed on [me]177-st. john . [I]177-st. john asked [him]0-i to come in . "[177-st. john] No , [I]0-i can not stay ; [I]0-i have only brought [you]0-i a little parcel [[my]0-i sisters]3437-my sisters left for [you]0-i . [I]0-i think it contains a colour - box , pencils , and paper . " [I]0-i approached to take it : a welcome gift it was . [He]0-i examined [my]0-i face , [I]0-i thought , with austerity , as [I]0-i came near : the traces of tears were doubtless very visible upon it . "[0-i] Have [you]0-i found [your]0-i first day 's work harder than [you]0-i expected ? " [he]0-i asked . "[0-i] Oh , no ! On the contrary , [I]0-i think in time [I]0-i shall get on with [[my]0-i scholars]7107-my scholars very well . " "[0-i] But perhaps [[your]0-i accommodations]3545-your accommodations - [[your]0-i cottage]3546-your cottage - [your]0-i furniture - have disappointed [your]0-i expectations ? They are , in truth , scanty enough ; but - " [I]0-i interrupted - "[0-i] [[My]0-i cottage]7119-my cottage is clean and weather - proof ; [my]0-i furniture sufficient and commodious . All [I]0-i see has made [me]0-i thankful , not despondent . [I]0-i am not absolutely such [a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a carpet , a sofa , and silver plate]3548-a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a carpet , a sofa , and silver plate ; besides , five weeks ago [I]0-i had nothing - [I]0-i was [an outcast]3272-an outcast , [a beggar]6842-a beggar , [a vagrant]3308-a vagrant ; now [I]0-i have acquaintance , a [home]509-home , a business . [I]0-i wonder at the goodness of [God]180-mrs. fairfax ; the generosity of [[my]0-i friends]3553-my friends ; the bounty of [[my]0-i lot]3554-my lot . [I]0-i do not repine . " "[0-i] But [you]0-i feel solitude an oppression ? [The little house there behind [you]0-i]3555-the little house there behind you is dark and empty . " "[0-i] [I]0-i have hardly had time yet to enjoy a sense of tranquillity , much less to grow impatient under one of loneliness . " "[0-i] Very well ; [I]0-i hope [you]0-i feel the content [you]0-i express : at any rate , [your]0-i good sense will tell [you]0-i that it is too soon yet to yield to the vacillating fears of [[Lot]421-lot 's wife]3556-lot 's wife . What [you]0-i had left before [I]0-i saw [you]0-i , of course [I]0-i do not know ; but [I]0-i counsel [you]0-i to resist firmly every temptation which would incline [you]0-i to look back : pursue [your]0-i present career steadily , for some months at least . " "[0-i] It is what [I]0-i mean to do , " [I]0-i answered . [St. John]177-st. john continued - "[0-i] It is hard work to control the workings of inclination and turn the bent of nature ; but that it may be done , [I]0-i know from experience . [God]180-mrs. fairfax has given [us]3557-our , in a measure , the power to make [our]3557-our own fate ; and when [our]3557-our energies seem to demand a sustenance [they]3558-they can not get - when [our]3557-our will strains after a path [we]3557-our may not follow - [we]3557-our need neither starve from inanition , nor stand still in despair : [we]3557-our have but to seek another nourishment for the mind , as strong as the forbidden food it longed to taste - and perhaps purer ; and to hew out for the adventurous foot a road as direct and broad as the one [Fortune]274-fortune has blocked up against [us]3557-our , if rougher than it . " A year ago [I]0-i was [myself]0-i intensely miserable , because [I]0-i thought [I]0-i had made a mistake in entering [the ministry]7132-the ministry : its uniform duties wearied [me]0-i to death . [I]0-i burnt for the more active life of [the world]484-the world - for the more exciting toils of a literary career - for the destiny of [an artist]7134-an artist , [author , orator]7135-author , orator ; anything rather than that of [a priest]7136-a priest : yes , the heart of [a politician]7137-a politician , of [a soldier]7138-a soldier , of [a votary of glory]7139-a votary of glory , [a lover of renown]7140-a lover of renown , a luster after power , beat under [[my]0-i curate]7141-my curate 's surplice . [I]0-i considered ; [my]0-i life was so wretched , it must be changed , or [I]0-i must die . After a season of darkness and struggling , light broke and relief fell : [my]0-i cramped existence all at once spread out to [a plain without bounds]7142-a plain without bounds - [my]0-i powers heard a call from heaven to rise , gather [their]7143-their full strength , spread [their]7143-their wings , and mount beyond ken . [God]180-mrs. fairfax had an errand for [me]0-i ; to bear which afar , to deliver it well , skill and strength , courage and eloquence , the best qualifications of [soldier]7144-soldier , [statesman]7145-statesman , and [orator]7146-orator , were all needed : for these all centre in the good missionary . "[0-i] A missionary [I]0-i resolved to be . From that moment [my]0-i state of mind changed ; the fetters dissolved and dropped from every faculty , leaving nothing of bondage but its galling soreness - which time only can heal . [[My]0-i father]682-my father , indeed , imposed the determination , but since [his]682-my father death , [I]0-i have not a legitimate obstacle to contend with ; some affairs settled , a successor for [Morton]105-morton provided , an entanglement or two of the feelings broken through or cut asunder - a last conflict with human weakness , in which [I]0-i know [I]0-i shall overcome , because [I]0-i have vowed that [I]0-i WILL overcome - and [I]0-i leave [Europe]75-europe for [the East]114-the east . " [He]682-my father said this , in [his]682-my father peculiar , subdued , yet emphatic voice ; looking , when [he]682-my father had ceased speaking , not at [me]0-i , but at the setting sun , at which [I]0-i looked too . Both [he]682-my father and [I]0-i had [our]7147-we backs towards the path leading up [the field]817-the field to [the wicket]2741-the wicket . [We]7147-we had heard no step on that grass - grown track ; the water running in [the vale]7150-the vale was the one lulling sound of the hour and scene ; [we]7147-we might well then start when [a gay voice , sweet as a silver bell]7151-a gay voice , sweet as a silver bell , exclaimed - "[0-i] Good evening , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john . And good evening , [old Carlo]414-carlo . [[Your]177-st. john dog]3560-your dog is quicker to recognise [[his]3560-your dog friends]3561-his friends than [you]177-st. john are , [sir]4374-sir ; [he]3560-your dog pricked [his]3560-your dog ears and wagged [his]3560-your dog tail when [I]0-i was at the bottom of [the field]817-the field , and [you]177-st. john have [your]177-st. john back towards [me]0-i now . " It was true . Though [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john had started at the first of those musical accents , as if a thunderbolt had split a cloud over [his]177-st. john head , [he]177-st. john stood yet , at the close of the sentence , in the same attitude in which [the speaker]2916-the speaker had surprised [him]177-st. john - [his]177-st. john arm resting on the gate , [his]177-st. john face directed towards [the west]2678-the west . [He]177-st. john turned at last , with measured deliberation . A vision , as it seemed to [me]177-st. john , had risen at [his]177-st. john side . There appeared , within three feet of [him]177-st. john , a form clad in pure white - a youthful , graceful form : full , yet fine in contour ; and when , after bending to caress [Carlo]414-carlo , it lifted up its head , and threw back a long veil , there bloomed under [his]177-st. john glance a face of perfect beauty . Perfect beauty is a strong expression ; but [I]177-st. john do not retrace or qualify it : as sweet features as ever the temperate clime of [Albion]80-albion moulded ; as pure hues of rose and lily as ever [her]7154-her humid gales and vapoury skies generated and screened , justified , in this instance , the term . No charm was wanting , no defect was perceptible ; [the young girl]7155-the young girl had regular and delicate lineaments ; eyes shaped and coloured as [we]7156-we see [them]7157-them in lovely pictures , large , and dark , and full ; the long and shadowy eyelash which encircles a fine eye with so soft a fascination ; the pencilled brow which gives such clearness ; the white smooth forehead , which adds such repose to the livelier beauties of tint and ray ; the cheek oval , fresh , and smooth ; the lips , fresh too , ruddy , healthy , sweetly formed ; the even and gleaming teeth without flaw ; the small dimpled chin ; the ornament of rich , plenteous tresses - all advantages , in short , which , combined , realise the ideal of beauty , were fully [hers]7155-the young girl . [I]177-st. john wondered , as [I]177-st. john looked at [this fair creature]7158-this fair creature : [I]177-st. john admired [her]7158-this fair creature with [my]177-st. john whole heart . Nature had surely formed [her]7158-this fair creature in a partial mood ; and , forgetting [[her]7158-this fair creature usual stinted step - mother]7159-her usual stinted step - mother dole of gifts , had endowed this , [[her]7158-this fair creature darling]7160-her darling , with a grand - dame 's bounty . What did [St. John Rivers]177-st. john think of [this earthly angel]7161-this earthly angel ? [I]177-st. john naturally asked [myself]177-st. john that question as [I]177-st. john saw [him]177-st. john turn to [her]3564-you and look at [her]3564-you ; and , as naturally , [I]177-st. john sought the answer to the inquiry in [his]177-st. john countenance . [He]177-st. john had already withdrawn [his]177-st. john eye from [the Peri]422-the peri , and was looking at a humble tuft of daisies which grew by the wicket . "[177-st. john] A lovely evening , but late for [you]3564-you to be out alone , " [he]177-st. john said , as [he]177-st. john crushed the snowy heads of the closed flowers with [his]177-st. john foot . "[423-papa] Oh , [I]0-i only came [home]509-home from S- " [she]3564-you mentioned the name of [a large town]7162-a large town some twenty miles distant "[423-papa] this afternoon . [Papa]423-papa told [me]0-i [you]3564-you had opened [[your]3564-you school]3566-your school , and that [the new mistress]3567-the new mistress was come ; and so [I]0-i put on [my]0-i bonnet after tea , and ran up [the valley]6769-the valley to see [her]3567-the new mistress : this is [she]3567-the new mistress ? " pointing to [me]3567-the new mistress . "[3567-the new mistress] It is , " said [St. John]177-st. john . "[3567-the new mistress] Do [you]3564-you think [you]3564-you shall like [Morton]105-morton ? " [she]3567-the new mistress asked of [me]3564-you , with a direct and naive simplicity of tone and manner , pleasing , if child - like . "[3564-you] [I]0-i hope [I]0-i shall . [I]0-i have many inducements to do so . " "[0-i] Did [you]3564-you find [[your]3564-you scholars]3513-your scholars as attentive as [you]3564-you expected ? " "[3564-you] Quite . " "[3564-you] Do [you]3564-you like [[your]3564-you house]2373-your house ? " "[3564-you] Very much . " "[3564-you] Have [I]0-i furnished [it]2373-your house nicely ? " "[0-i] Very nicely , indeed . " "[0-i] And made a good choice of an attendant for [you]3564-you in [Alice Wood]115-alice wood ? " "[3564-you] [You]3564-you have indeed . [She]115-alice wood is teachable and handy . " This then , [I]115-alice wood thought , is [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver , [the heiress]7163-the heiress ; favoured , it seems , in the gifts of fortune , as well as in those of nature ! What happy combination of the planets presided over [her]115-alice wood birth , [I]115-alice wood wonder ? "[115-alice wood] [I]0-i shall come up and help [you]3564-you to teach sometimes , " [she]115-alice wood added . "[0-i] It will be a change for [me]0-i to visit [you]3564-you now and then ; and [I]0-i like a change . [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , [I]0-i have been SO gay during [my]0-i stay at [S-]118-s- . Last night , or rather this morning , [I]0-i was dancing till two o'clock . [The -th regiment]3571-the -th regiment are stationed [there]4426-there since the riots ; and [the officers]3573-the officers are [the most agreeable men in [the world]484-the world]3574-the most agreeable men in the world : [they]3573-the officers put all [[our]3576-our young knife - grinders]3577-our young knife - grinders and [scissor merchants]3578-scissor merchants to shame . " It seemed to [me]3573-the officers that [Mr. St. John]177-st. john 's under lip protruded , and [his]177-st. john upper lip curled a moment . [His]177-st. john mouth certainly looked a good deal compressed , and the lower part of [his]177-st. john face unusually stern and square , as [the laughing girl]7164-the laughing girl gave [him]177-st. john this information . [He]177-st. john lifted [his]177-st. john gaze , too , from the daisies , and turned it on [her]7164-the laughing girl . An unsmiling , a searching , a meaning gaze it was . [She]7164-the laughing girl answered it with a second laugh , and laughter well became [her]7164-the laughing girl youth , [her]7164-the laughing girl roses , [her]7164-the laughing girl dimples , [her]7164-the laughing girl bright eyes . As [he]177-st. john stood , mute and grave , [she]7164-the laughing girl again fell to caressing [Carlo]414-carlo . "[3573-the officers] [Poor [Carlo]414-carlo]3579-poor carlo loves [me]0-i , " said [she]7164-the laughing girl . "[414-carlo] [HE]414-carlo is not stern and distant to [[his]414-carlo friends]3561-his friends ; and if [he]414-carlo could speak , [he]414-carlo would not be silent . " As [she]7164-the laughing girl patted the dog 's head , bending with native grace before [[his]414-carlo young and austere master]7165-his young and austere master , [I]423-papa saw a glow rise to [that master]7166-that master 's face . [I]423-papa saw [his]7166-that master solemn eye melt with sudden fire , and flicker with resistless emotion . Flushed and kindled thus , [he]7166-that master looked nearly as beautiful for [a man]4429-a man as [she]7164-the laughing girl for [a woman]4399-a woman . [His]7166-that master chest heaved once , as if [his]7166-that master large heart , weary of despotic constriction , had expanded , despite the will , and made a vigorous bound for the attainment of liberty . But [he]7166-that master curbed it , [I]423-papa think , as [a resolute rider]7169-a resolute rider would curb a rearing steed . [He]7166-that master responded neither by word nor movement to the gentle advances made [him]7166-that master . "[423-papa] [Papa]423-papa says [you]423-papa never come to see [us]3581-us now , " continued [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver , looking up . "[423-papa] [You]423-papa are quite [a stranger at [Vale Hall]113-vale hall]3582-a stranger at vale hall . [He]423-papa is alone this evening , and not very well : will [you]423-papa return with [me]0-i and visit [him]423-papa ? " "[423-papa] It is not a seasonable hour to intrude on [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver , " answered [St. John]177-st. john . "[399-mr. oliver] Not a seasonable hour ! But [I]0-i declare it is . It is just the hour when [papa]423-papa most wants [company]1938-company : when the works are closed and [he]423-papa has no business to occupy [him]423-papa . Now , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , DO come . Why are [you]177-st. john so very shy , and so very sombre ? " [She]7170-she filled up the hiatus [his]177-st. john silence left by a reply of [her]7170-she own . "[0-i] [I]0-i forgot ! " [she]7170-she exclaimed , shaking [her]7170-she beautiful curled head , as if shocked at [herself]7170-she . "[0-i] [I]0-i am so giddy and thoughtless ! DO excuse [me]0-i . It had slipped [my]0-i memory that [you]177-st. john have good reasons to be indisposed for joining in [my]0-i chatter . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary have left [you]177-st. john , and [Moor House]104-moor house is shut up , and [you]177-st. john are so lonely . [I]0-i am sure [I]0-i pity [you]177-st. john . Do come and see [papa]4423-papa . " "[4423-papa] Not to - night , [Miss Rosamond]424-miss rosamond , not to - night . " [Mr. St. John]177-st. john spoke almost like [an automaton]6169-an automaton : [himself]177-st. john only knew the effort it cost [him]177-st. john thus to refuse . "[424-miss rosamond] Well , if [you]177-st. john are so obstinate , [I]0-i will leave [you]177-st. john ; for [I]0-i dare not stay any longer : the dew begins to fall . Good evening ! " [She]424-miss rosamond held out [her]424-miss rosamond hand . [He]4423-papa just touched it . "[4423-papa] Good evening ! " [he]4423-papa repeated , in a voice low and hollow as an echo . [She]424-miss rosamond turned , but in a moment returned . "[4423-papa] Are [you]4423-papa well ? " [she]424-miss rosamond asked . Well might [she]424-miss rosamond put the question : [his]4423-papa face was blanched as [her]424-miss rosamond gown . "[4423-papa] Quite well , " [he]4423-papa enunciated ; and , with a bow , [he]4423-papa left the gate . [She]424-miss rosamond went one way ; [he]4423-papa another . [She]424-miss rosamond turned twice to gaze after [him]4423-papa as [she]424-miss rosamond tripped fairy - like down [the field]817-the field ; [he]4423-papa , as [he]4423-papa strode firmly across , never turned at all . This spectacle of another 's suffering and sacrifice rapt [my]4423-papa thoughts from exclusive meditation on [my]4423-papa own . [Diana Rivers]400-diana had designated [[her]424-miss rosamond brother]6047-her brother "[4423-papa] inexorable as death . " [She]424-miss rosamond had not exaggerated . CHAPTER XXXII [I]4423-papa continued the labours of [the village]6777-the village - school as actively and faithfully as [I]4423-papa could . It was truly hard work at first . Some time elapsed before , with all [my]4423-papa efforts , [I]4423-papa could comprehend [[my]4423-papa scholars]7107-my scholars and [their]7107-my scholars nature . Wholly untaught , with faculties quite torpid , [they]7107-my scholars seemed to [me]4423-papa hopelessly dull ; and , at first sight , all dull alike : but [I]4423-papa soon found [I]4423-papa was mistaken . There was a difference amongst [them]7107-my scholars as amongst [the educated]3473-the educated ; and when [I]4423-papa got to know [them]7107-my scholars , and [they]7107-my scholars [me]4423-papa , this difference rapidly developed itself . [Their]7107-my scholars amazement at [me]4423-papa , [my]4423-papa language , [my]4423-papa rules , and ways , once subsided , [I]4423-papa found some of [these heavy - looking , gaping rustics]7177-these heavy - looking , gaping rustics wake up into [sharp - witted girls]7178-sharp - witted girls enough . [Many]7179-many showed [themselves]7179-many obliging , and amiable too ; and [I]4423-papa discovered amongst [them]7107-my scholars not a few examples of natural politeness , and innate self - respect , as well as of excellent capacity , that won both [my]4423-papa goodwill and [my]4423-papa admiration . [These]7180-these soon took a pleasure in doing [their]7180-these work well , in keeping [[their]7180-these persons]2058-their persons neat , in learning [their]7180-these tasks regularly , in acquiring quiet and orderly manners . The rapidity of [their]7180-these progress , in some instances , was even surprising ; and an honest and happy pride [I]4423-papa took in it : besides , [I]4423-papa began personally to like [some of [the best girls]7183-the best girls]7182-some of the best girls ; and [they]7182-some of the best girls liked [me]4423-papa . [I]4423-papa had amongst [[my]4423-papa scholars]7107-my scholars [several [farmers]7186-farmers ' daughters]7185-several farmers ' daughters : [young women]935-young women grown , almost . [These]7180-these could already read , write , and sew ; and to [them]7180-these [I]4423-papa taught the elements of grammar , geography , history , and the finer kinds of needlework . [I]4423-papa found estimable characters amongst [them]7180-these - [characters desirous of information and disposed for improvement]7189-characters desirous of information and disposed for improvement - with whom [I]4423-papa passed many a pleasant evening hour in [[their]7180-these own homes]7190-their own homes . [[Their]7180-these parents]7191-their parents then [the farmer]6841-the farmer and [[his]6841-the farmer wife]4986-his wife loaded [me]4423-papa with attentions . There was an enjoyment in accepting [their]7180-these simple kindness , and in repaying it by a consideration - a scrupulous regard to [their]7180-these feelings - to which [they]7180-these were not , perhaps , at all times accustomed , and which both charmed and benefited [them]7180-these ; because , while it elevated [them]7180-these in [their]7180-these own eyes , it made [them]7180-these emulous to merit the deferential treatment [they]7180-these received . [I]4423-papa felt [I]4423-papa became a favourite in [the neighbourhood]1738-the neighbourhood . Whenever [I]4423-papa went out , [I]4423-papa heard on all sides cordial salutations , and was welcomed with friendly smiles . To live amidst general regard , though it be but the regard of [working people]4405-working people , is like ' sitting in sunshine , calm and sweet ; "[4423-papa] serene inward feelings bud and bloom under the ray . At this period of [my]0-i life , [my]0-i heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness than sank with dejection : and yet , [reader]496-reader , to tell [you]496-reader all , in the midst of this calm , this useful existence - after a day passed in honourable exertion amongst [[my]0-i scholars]7107-my scholars , an evening spent in drawing or reading contentedly alone - [I]0-i used to rush into strange dreams at night : dreams many - coloured , agitated , full of the ideal , the stirring , the stormy - dreams where , amidst unusual scenes , charged with adventure , with agitating risk and romantic chance , [I]0-i still again and again met [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , always at some exciting crisis ; and then the sense of being in [his]251-mr. rochester arms , hearing [his]251-mr. rochester voice , meeting [his]251-mr. rochester eye , touching [his]251-mr. rochester hand and cheek , loving [him]251-mr. rochester , being loved by [him]251-mr. rochester - the hope of passing a lifetime at [his]251-mr. rochester side , would be renewed , with all its first force and fire . Then [I]0-i awoke . Then [I]0-i recalled where [I]0-i was , and how situated . Then [I]0-i rose up on [my]0-i curtainless bed , trembling and quivering ; and then the still , dark night witnessed the convulsion of despair , and heard the burst of passion . By nine o'clock the next morning [I]0-i was punctually opening [the school]4461-the school ; tranquil , settled , prepared for the steady duties of the day . [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond kept [her]425-rosamond word in coming to visit [me]0-i . [Her]425-rosamond call at [the school]4461-the school was generally made in the course of [her]425-rosamond morning ride . [She]425-rosamond would canter up to the door on [her]425-rosamond pony , followed by [a mounted livery servant]3589-a mounted livery servant . Anything more exquisite than [her]425-rosamond appearance , in [her]425-rosamond purple habit , with [her]425-rosamond Amazon 's cap of black velvet placed gracefully above the long curls that kissed [her]425-rosamond cheek and floated to [her]425-rosamond shoulders , can scarcely be imagined : and it was thus [she]425-rosamond would enter [the rustic building]3590-the rustic building , and glide through the dazzled ranks of [the village children]3591-the village children . [She]425-rosamond generally came at the hour when [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john was engaged in giving [his]177-st. john daily catechising lesson . Keenly , [I]0-i fear , did the eye of [the visitress]3592-the visitress pierce [the young pastor]3593-the young pastor 's heart . A sort of instinct seemed to warn [him]3593-the young pastor of [her]425-rosamond entrance , even when [he]3593-the young pastor did not see it ; and when [he]3593-the young pastor was looking quite away from the door , if [she]425-rosamond appeared at it , [his]3593-the young pastor cheek would glow , and [his]3593-the young pastor marble- seeming features , though they refused to relax , changed indescribably , and in [their]3594-their very quiescence became expressive of a repressed fervour , stronger than working muscle or darting glance could indicate . Of course , [she]425-rosamond knew [her]425-rosamond power : indeed , [he]3593-the young pastor did not , because [he]3593-the young pastor could not , conceal it from [her]425-rosamond . In spite of [his]3593-the young pastor Christian stoicism , when [she]425-rosamond went up and addressed [him]3593-the young pastor , and smiled gaily , encouragingly , even fondly in [his]3593-the young pastor face , [his]3593-the young pastor hand would tremble and [his]3593-the young pastor eye burn . [He]3593-the young pastor seemed to say , with [his]3593-the young pastor sad and resolute look , if [he]3593-the young pastor did not say it with [his]3593-the young pastor lips , " [I]3593-the young pastor love [you]425-rosamond , and [I]3593-the young pastor know [you]425-rosamond prefer [me]3593-the young pastor . It is not despair of success that keeps [me]3593-the young pastor dumb . If [I]3593-the young pastor offered [my]3593-the young pastor heart , [I]3593-the young pastor believe [you]425-rosamond would accept it . But that heart is already laid on a sacred altar : the fire is arranged round it . It will soon be no more than a sacrifice consumed . "[3593-the young pastor] And then [she]425-rosamond would pout like [a disappointed child]3595-a disappointed child ; a pensive cloud would soften [her]425-rosamond radiant vivacity ; [she]425-rosamond would withdraw [her]425-rosamond hand hastily from [his]3593-the young pastor , and turn in transient petulance from [his]3593-the young pastor aspect , at once so heroic and so martyr - like . [St. John]177-st. john , no doubt , would have given [the world]484-the world to follow , recall , retain [her]425-rosamond , when [she]425-rosamond thus left [him]3593-the young pastor ; but [he]3593-the young pastor would not give one chance of heaven , nor relinquish , for the elysium of [her]425-rosamond love , one hope of the true , eternal Paradise . Besides , [he]3593-the young pastor could not bind all that [he]3593-the young pastor had in [his]3593-the young pastor nature - [the rover]3597-the rover , [the aspirant]3598-the aspirant , [the poet]3599-the poet , [the priest]2903-the priest - in the limits of a single passion . [He]3593-the young pastor could not - [he]3593-the young pastor would not - renounce [his]3593-the young pastor wild field of mission warfare for [the parlours]3601-the parlours and the peace of [Vale Hall]113-vale hall . [I]0-i learnt so much from [himself]3593-the young pastor in an inroad [I]0-i once , despite [his]3593-the young pastor reserve , had the daring to make on [his]3593-the young pastor confidence . [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver already honoured [me]0-i with frequent visits to [[my]0-i cottage]7119-my cottage . [I]0-i had learnt [her]417-miss oliver whole character , which was without mystery or disguise : [she]417-miss oliver was coquettish but not heartless ; exacting , but not worthlessly selfish . [She]417-miss oliver had been indulged from [her]417-miss oliver birth , but was not absolutely spoilt . [She]417-miss oliver was hasty , but good - humoured ; vain [she]417-miss oliver could not help it , when every glance in the glass showed [her]417-miss oliver such a flush of loveliness , but not affected ; liberal - handed ; innocent of the pride of wealth ; ingenuous ; sufficiently intelligent ; gay , lively , and unthinking : [she]417-miss oliver was very charming , in short , even to [a cool observer of [her]417-miss oliver own sex like [me]0-i]3603-a cool observer of her own sex like me ; but [she]417-miss oliver was not profoundly interesting or thoroughly impressive . A very different sort of mind was [hers]417-miss oliver from that , for instance , of [the sisters of [St. John]177-st. john]3604-the sisters of st. john . Still , [I]0-i liked [her]417-miss oliver almost as [I]0-i liked [[my]0-i pupil]5027-my pupil [Adele]259-adele ; except that , for [a child whom [we]3607-we have watched over and taught]3606-a child whom we have watched over and taught , a closer affection is engendered than [we]3607-we can give [an equally attractive adult acquaintance]3608-an equally attractive adult acquaintance . [She]417-miss oliver had taken an amiable caprice to [me]0-i . [She]417-miss oliver said [I]0-i was like [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , only , certainly , [she]417-miss oliver allowed , " not one - tenth so handsome , though [I]417-miss oliver was [a nice neat little soul]7196-a nice neat little soul enough , but [he]177-st. john was [an angel]1108-an angel . "[417-miss oliver] [I]0-i was , however , good , clever , composed , and firm , like [him]177-st. john . [I]0-i was [a lusus naturae]3609-a lusus naturae , [she]417-miss oliver affirmed , as [a village schoolmistress]3610-a village schoolmistress : [she]417-miss oliver was sure [my]0-i previous history , if known , would make a delightful romance . One evening , while , with [her]417-miss oliver usual child - like activity , and thoughtless yet not offensive inquisitiveness , [she]417-miss oliver was rummaging the cupboard and the table - drawer of [[my]0-i little kitchen]3611-my little kitchen , [she]417-miss oliver discovered first two French books , a volume of Schiller , a German grammar and dictionary , and then [my]0-i drawing - materials and some sketches , including a pencil - head of [a pretty little cherub - like girl]3612-a pretty little cherub - like girl , [one of [[my]0-i scholars]7107-my scholars , and sundry views from nature , taken in [the Vale of [Morton]105-morton]3615-the vale of morton and on [the surrounding moors]3616-the surrounding moors]3613-one of my scholars , and sundry views from nature , taken in the vale of morton and on the surrounding moors . [She]417-miss oliver was first transfixed with surprise , and then electrified with delight . " Had [I]417-miss oliver done these pictures ? Did [I]417-miss oliver know French and German ? What a love - what a miracle [I]417-miss oliver was ! [I]417-miss oliver drew better than [[her]417-miss oliver master]1867-her master in [the first school in [S-]118-s-]7199-the first school in s- . Would [I]417-miss oliver sketch a portrait of [her]417-miss oliver , to show to [papa]4423-papa ? "[417-miss oliver] " With pleasure , "[0-i] [I]0-i replied ; and [I]0-i felt a thrill of artist - delight at the idea of copying from so perfect and radiant [a model]1930-a model . [She]417-miss oliver had then on a dark - blue silk dress ; [her]417-miss oliver arms and [her]417-miss oliver neck were bare ; [her]417-miss oliver only ornament was [her]417-miss oliver chestnut tresses , which waved over [her]417-miss oliver shoulders with all the wild grace of natural curls . [I]0-i took a sheet of fine card - board , and drew a careful outline . [I]0-i promised [myself]0-i the pleasure of colouring it ; and , as it was getting late then , [I]0-i told [her]417-miss oliver [she]417-miss oliver must come and sit another day . [She]417-miss oliver made such a report of [me]0-i to [[her]417-miss oliver father]1141-her father , that [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver [himself]399-mr. oliver accompanied [her]417-miss oliver next evening - [a tall , massive - featured , middle - aged , and grey - headed man , at whose side [[his]399-mr. oliver lovely daughter]3620-his lovely daughter looked like a bright flower near [a hoary turret]3621-a hoary turret]3619-a tall , massive - featured , middle - aged , and grey - headed man , at whose side his lovely daughter looked like a bright flower near a hoary turret . [He]399-mr. oliver appeared a taciturn , and perhaps [a proud personage]3622-a proud personage ; but [he]399-mr. oliver was very kind to [me]0-i . The sketch of [Rosamond]425-rosamond 's portrait pleased [him]399-mr. oliver highly : [he]399-mr. oliver said [I]0-i must make a finished picture of it . [He]399-mr. oliver insisted , too , on [my]0-i coming the next day to spend the evening at [Vale Hall]113-vale hall . [I]0-i went . [I]0-i found [it]113-vale hall [a large , handsome residence , showing abundant evidences of wealth in [the proprietor]5008-the proprietor]3623-a large , handsome residence , showing abundant evidences of wealth in the proprietor . [Rosamond]425-rosamond was full of glee and pleasure all the time [I]0-i stayed . [[Her]425-rosamond father]1141-her father was affable ; and when [he]1141-her father entered into conversation with [me]0-i after tea , [he]1141-her father expressed in strong terms [his]1141-her father approbation of what [I]0-i had done in [Morton school]3626-morton school , and said [he]1141-her father only feared , from what [he]1141-her father saw and heard , [I]0-i was too good for [the place]1554-the place , and would soon quit [it]1554-the place for one more suitable . " Indeed , "[425-rosamond] cried [Rosamond]425-rosamond , ' [she]425-rosamond is clever enough to be [a governess in a high family]3628-a governess in a high family , [papa]4423-papa . " [I]425-rosamond thought [I]425-rosamond would far rather be where [I]425-rosamond am than in [any high family in [the land]5053-the land]7201-any high family in the land . [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver spoke of [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john - of [the Rivers family]7203-the rivers family - with great respect . [He]399-mr. oliver said it was a very old name in [that neighbourhood]7204-that neighbourhood ; that [the ancestors of [the house]4322-the house]7205-the ancestors of the house were wealthy ; that all [Morton]105-morton had once belonged to [them]7205-the ancestors of the house ; that even now [he]399-mr. oliver considered [the representative of [that house]5120-that house]7207-the representative of that house might , if [he]399-mr. oliver liked , make an alliance with the best . [He]399-mr. oliver accounted it a pity that [so fine and talented a young man]7209-so fine and talented a young man should have formed the design of going out as [a missionary]2829-a missionary ; it was quite throwing a valuable life away . It appeared , then , that [[her]7209-so fine and talented a young man father]1141-her father would throw no obstacle in the way of [Rosamond]425-rosamond 's union with [St. John]177-st. john . [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver evidently regarded [the young clergyman]7212-the young clergyman 's good birth , old name , and sacred profession as sufficient compensation for the want of fortune . It was the 5th of November , and a holiday . [[My]425-rosamond little servant]7213-my little servant , after helping [me]425-rosamond to clean [[my]425-rosamond house]4395-my house , was gone , well satisfied with the fee of a penny for [her]7213-my little servant aid . All about [me]425-rosamond was spotless and bright - scoured floor , polished grate , and well - rubbed chairs . [I]425-rosamond had also made [myself]425-rosamond neat , and had now the afternoon before [me]425-rosamond to spend as [I]425-rosamond would . The translation of a few pages of German occupied an hour ; then [I]425-rosamond got [my]425-rosamond palette and pencils , and fell to the more soothing , because easier occupation , of completing [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond 's miniature . The head was finished already : there was but the background to tint and the drapery to shade off ; a touch of carmine , too , to add to the ripe lips - a soft curl here and there to the tresses - a deeper tinge to the shadow of the lash under the azured eyelid . [I]425-rosamond was absorbed in the execution of these nice details , when , after one rapid tap , [my]425-rosamond door unclosed , admitting [St. John Rivers]177-st. john . "[425-rosamond] [I]0-i am come to see how [you]3630-you are spending [your]3630-you holiday , " [he]0-i said . "[0-i] Not , [I]0-i hope , in thought ? No , that is well : while [you]3630-you draw [you]3630-you will not feel lonely . [You]3630-you see , [I]0-i mistrust [you]3630-you still , though [you]3630-you have borne up wonderfully so far . [I]0-i have brought [you]3630-you a book for evening solace , " and [he]0-i laid on the table a new publication - a poem : one of those genuine productions so often vouchsafed to [the fortunate public of those days]7215-the fortunate public of those days - the golden age of modern literature . Alas ! [the readers]1004-the readers of [our]7217-our era are less favoured . But courage ! [I]0-i will not pause either to accuse or repine . [I]0-i know poetry is not dead , nor genius lost ; nor has [Mammon]426-mammon gained power over either , to bind or slay : [they]7218-their will both assert [their]7218-their existence , [their]7218-their presence , [their]7218-their liberty and strength again one day . [Powerful angels]7219-powerful angels , safe in [heaven]4369-heaven ! [they]7219-powerful angels smile when sordid souls triumph , and [feeble ones]7221-feeble ones weep over [their]7219-powerful angels destruction . Poetry destroyed ? Genius banished ? No ! Mediocrity , no : do not let envy prompt [you]3630-you to the thought . No ; [they]7219-powerful angels not only live , but reign and redeem : and without [their]7219-powerful angels divine influence spread everywhere , [you]3630-you would be in [hell]7222-hell - the hell of [your]3630-you own meanness . While [I]0-i was eagerly glancing at the bright pages of "[0-i] [Marmion]427-marmion " for "[427-marmion] [Marmion]427-marmion " it was , [St. John]177-st. john stooped to examine [my]3631-i drawing . [His]177-st. john tall figure sprang erect again with a start : [he]177-st. john said nothing . [I]3631-i looked up at [him]177-st. john : [he]177-st. john shunned [my]3631-i eye . [I]3631-i knew [his]177-st. john thoughts well , and could read [his]177-st. john heart plainly ; at the moment [I]3631-i felt calmer and cooler than [he]177-st. john : [I]3631-i had then temporarily the advantage of [him]177-st. john , and [I]3631-i conceived an inclination to do [him]177-st. john some good , if [I]3631-i could . "[3631-i] With all [his]3631-i firmness and self - control , " thought [I]3631-i , "[3631-i] [he]3631-i tasks [himself]3631-i too far : locks every feeling and pang within - expresses , confesses , imparts nothing . [I]0-i am sure it would benefit [him]3631-i to talk a little about [this sweet Rosamond , whom [he]3631-i thinks [he]3631-i ought not to marry]3632-this sweet rosamond , whom he thinks he ought not to marry : [I]0-i will make [him]3631-i talk . " [I]0-i said first , "[0-i] Take a chair , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john . " But [he]3631-i answered , as [he]3631-i always did , that [he]3631-i could not stay . "[177-st. john] Very well , " [I]177-st. john responded , mentally , ' stand if [you]3631-i like ; but [you]3631-i shall not go just yet , [I]177-st. john am determined : solitude is at least as bad for [you]3631-i as it is for [me]177-st. john . [I]177-st. john 'll try if [I]177-st. john can not discover the secret spring of [your]3631-i confidence , and find an aperture in that marble breast through which [I]177-st. john can shed one drop of the balm of sympathy . "[177-st. john] " Is this portrait like ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked bluntly . " Like ! Like whom ? [I]0-i did not observe it closely . "[0-i] " [You]177-st. john did , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john . "[177-st. john] [He]177-st. john almost started at [my]0-i sudden and strange abruptness : [he]177-st. john looked at [me]0-i astonished . " Oh , that is nothing yet , "[0-i] [I]0-i muttered within . " [I]0-i do n't mean to be baffled by a little stiffness on [your]177-st. john part ; [I]0-i 'm prepared to go to considerable lengths . "[0-i] [I]0-i continued , " [You]177-st. john observed it closely and distinctly ; but [I]0-i have no objection to [your]177-st. john looking at it again , "[0-i] and [I]0-i rose and placed it in [his]177-st. john hand . " A well - executed picture , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john said ; " very soft , clear colouring ; very graceful and correct drawing . "[177-st. john] " Yes , yes ; [I]177-st. john know all that . But what of the resemblance ? Who is it like ? "[177-st. john] Mastering some hesitation , [he]177-st. john answered , " [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver , [I]177-st. john presume . "[177-st. john] " Of course . And now , [sir]4374-sir , to reward [you]4374-sir for the accurate guess , [I]177-st. john will promise to paint [you]4374-sir a careful and faithful duplicate of this very picture , provided [you]4374-sir admit that the gift would be acceptable to [you]4374-sir . [I]177-st. john do n't wish to throw away [my]177-st. john time and trouble on an offering [you]4374-sir would deem worthless . "[177-st. john] [He]177-st. john continued to gaze at the picture : the longer [he]177-st. john looked , the firmer [he]177-st. john held it , the more [he]177-st. john seemed to covet it . " It is like ! "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john murmured ; " the eye is well managed : the colour , light , expression , are perfect . It smiles ! "[177-st. john] " Would it comfort , or would it wound [you]4374-sir to have a similar painting ? Tell [me]177-st. john that . When [you]4374-sir are at [Madagascar]119-madagascar , or at the Cape , or in [India]63-india , would it be a consolation to have that memento in [your]4374-sir possession ? or would the sight of it bring recollections calculated to enervate and distress ? "[177-st. john] [He]177-st. john now furtively raised [his]177-st. john eyes : [he]177-st. john glanced at [me]0-i , irresolute , disturbed : [he]177-st. john again surveyed the picture . " That [I]177-st. john should like to have it is certain : whether it would be judicious or wise is another question . "[177-st. john] Since [I]0-i had ascertained that [Rosamond]425-rosamond really preferred [him]177-st. john , and that [[her]425-rosamond father]1141-her father was not likely to oppose the match , [I]0-i - less exalted in [my]0-i views than [St. John]177-st. john - had been strongly disposed in [my]0-i own heart to advocate [their]3634-their union . It seemed to [me]0-i that , should [he]177-st. john become the possessor of [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver 's large fortune , [he]177-st. john might do as much good with it as if [he]177-st. john went and laid [his]177-st. john genius out to wither , and [his]177-st. john strength to waste , under a tropical sun . With this persuasion [I]0-i now answered - " As far as [I]0-i can see , it would be wiser and more judicious if [you]177-st. john were to take to [yourself]177-st. john the original at once . "[0-i] By this time [he]177-st. john had sat down : [he]177-st. john had laid the picture on the table before [him]177-st. john , and with [his]177-st. john brow supported on both hands , hung fondly over it . [I]0-i discerned [he]177-st. john was now neither angry nor shocked at [my]0-i audacity . [I]0-i saw even that to be thus frankly addressed on a subject [he]177-st. john had deemed unapproachable - to hear it thus freely handled - was beginning to be felt by [him]177-st. john as a new pleasure - an unhoped - for relief . [Reserved people]3635-reserved people often really need the frank discussion of [their]3635-reserved people sentiments and griefs more than the expansive . [The sternest - seeming stoic]3636-the sternest - seeming stoic is human after all ; and to " burst "[3636-the sternest - seeming stoic] with boldness and good - will into " the silent sea "[3636-the sternest - seeming stoic] of [their]3635-reserved people souls is often to confer on [them]3635-reserved people the first of obligations . " [She]7224-her likes [you]177-st. john , [I]0-i am sure , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , as [I]0-i stood behind [his]177-st. john chair , " and [[her]7224-her father]1141-her father respects [you]177-st. john . Moreover , [she]7224-her is [a sweet girl]7226-a sweet girl - rather thoughtless ; but [you]177-st. john would have sufficient thought for both [yourself]177-st. john and [her]7224-her . [You]177-st. john ought to marry [her]7224-her . "[0-i] " DOES [she]7224-her like [me]177-st. john ? "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john asked . " Certainly ; better than [she]7224-her likes [any one else]4384-any one else . [She]7224-her talks of [you]177-st. john continually : there is no subject [she]7224-her enjoys so much or touches upon so often . "[177-st. john] " It is very pleasant to hear this , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john said - " very : go on for another quarter of an hour . "[177-st. john] And [he]177-st. john actually took out [his]177-st. john watch and laid it upon the table to measure the time . " But where is the use of going on , "[0-i] [I]0-i asked , " when [you]177-st. john are probably preparing some iron blow of contradiction , or forging a fresh chain to fetter [your]177-st. john heart ? "[0-i] " Do n't imagine such hard things . Fancy [me]0-i yielding and melting , as [I]0-i am doing : human love rising like a freshly opened fountain in [my]0-i mind and overflowing with sweet inundation all the field [I]0-i have so carefully and with such labour prepared - so assiduously sown with the seeds of good intentions , of self - denying plans . And now it is deluged with a nectarous flood - the young germs swamped - delicious poison cankering them : now [I]0-i see [myself]0-i stretched on an ottoman in [the drawing - room at [Vale Hall]113-vale hall]7228-the drawing - room at vale hall at [[my]0-i bride]2506-my bride [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond 's feet : [she]7224-her is talking to [me]0-i with [her]7224-her sweet voice - gazing down on [me]0-i with those eyes [your]177-st. john skilful hand has copied so well - smiling at [me]0-i with these coral lips . [She]7224-her is [mine]0-i - [I]0-i am [hers]7224-her - this present life and [passing world]7230-passing world suffice to [me]0-i . Hush ! say nothing - [my]0-i heart is full of delight - [my]0-i senses are entranced - let the time [I]0-i marked pass in peace . "[0-i] [I]0-i humoured [him]3637-i : the watch ticked on : [he]3637-i breathed fast and low : [I]0-i stood silent . Amidst this hush [the quartet]3638-the quartet sped ; [he]3637-i replaced the watch , laid the picture down , rose , and stood on the hearth . " Now , "[3637-i] said [he]3637-i , " that little space was given to delirium and delusion . [I]3637-i rested [my]3637-i temples on the breast of temptation , and put [my]3637-i neck voluntarily under [her]7224-her yoke of flowers . [I]3637-i tasted [her]7224-her cup . The pillow was burning : there is an asp in the garland : the wine has a bitter taste : [her]7224-her promises are hollow - [her]7224-her offers false : [I]3637-i see and know all this . "[3637-i] [I]0-i gazed at [him]3637-i in wonder . " It is strange , "[3637-i] pursued [he]3637-i , " that while [I]3637-i love [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond so wildly - with all the intensity , indeed , of a first passion , the object of which is exquisitely beautiful , graceful , fascinating - [I]3637-i experience at the same time a calm , unwarped consciousness that [she]425-rosamond would not make [me]3637-i [a good wife]7231-a good wife ; that [she]425-rosamond is not [the partner suited to [me]3637-i]7232-the partner suited to me ; that [I]3637-i should discover this within a year after marriage ; and that to twelve months ' rapture would succeed a lifetime of regret . This [I]3637-i know . "[3637-i] " Strange indeed ! "[0-i] [I]0-i could not help ejaculating . " While something in [me]3637-i , "[3637-i] [he]3637-i went on , " is acutely sensible to [her]7224-her charms , something else is as deeply impressed with [her]7224-her defects : they are such that [she]7224-her could sympathise in nothing [I]3637-i aspired to - co- operate in nothing [I]3637-i undertook . [Rosamond]425-rosamond [a sufferer]7233-a sufferer , [a labourer]7234-a labourer , [a female apostle]7235-a female apostle ? [Rosamond]425-rosamond [[a missionary]2829-a missionary 's wife]7237-a missionary 's wife ? No ! "[3637-i] " But [you]0-i need not be [a missionary]2829-a missionary . [You]0-i might relinquish that scheme . "[3637-i] " Relinquish ! What ! [my]0-i vocation ? [My]0-i great work ? [My]0-i foundation laid on [earth]478-earth for [a mansion in [heaven]4369-heaven]7240-a mansion in heaven ? [My]0-i hopes of being numbered in [the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering [their]7242-the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race race]7242-the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race - of carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance - of substituting peace for war - freedom for bondage - religion for superstition - the hope of heaven for the fear of hell ? Must [I]0-i relinquish that ? It is dearer than the blood in [my]0-i veins . It is what [I]0-i have to look forward to , and to live for . "[0-i] After a considerable pause , [I]0-i said - " And [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver ? Are [her]417-miss oliver disappointment and sorrow of no interest to [you]0-i ? "[0-i] " [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver is ever surrounded by [suitors]6259-suitors and [flatterers]7244-flatterers : in less than a month , [my]3637-i image will be effaced from [her]417-miss oliver heart . [She]417-miss oliver will forget [me]3637-i ; and will marry , probably , [some one who will make [her]417-miss oliver far happier than [I]3637-i should do]7245-some one who will make her far happier than i should do . "[3637-i] " [You]0-i speak coolly enough ; but [you]0-i suffer in the conflict . [You]0-i are wasting away . "[0-i] " No . If [I]0-i get a little thin , it is with anxiety about [my]0-i prospects , yet unsettled - [my]0-i departure , continually procrastinated . Only this morning , [I]0-i received intelligence that [the successor]7246-the successor , whose arrival [I]0-i have been so long expecting , can not be ready to replace [me]0-i for three months to come yet ; and perhaps the three months may extend to six . "[0-i] " [You]0-i tremble and become flushed whenever [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver enters [the schoolroom]888-the schoolroom . "[3639-i] Again the surprised expression crossed [his]3639-i face . [He]3639-i had not imagined that [a woman]4399-a woman would dare to speak so to [a man]4429-a man . For [me]0-i , [I]0-i felt at [home]509-home in this sort of discourse . [I]0-i could never rest in communication with [strong , discreet , and refined minds]3643-strong , discreet , and refined minds , whether male or female , till [I]0-i had passed the outworks of conventional reserve , and crossed the threshold of confidence , and won a place by [their]3643-strong , discreet , and refined minds heart 's very hearthstone . " [You]0-i are original , "[3639-i] said [he]3639-i , " and not timid . There is something brave in [your]0-i spirit , as well as penetrating in [your]0-i eye ; but allow [me]3639-i to assure [you]0-i that [you]0-i partially misinterpret [my]3639-i emotions . [You]0-i think them more profound and potent than they are . [You]0-i give [me]3639-i a larger allowance of sympathy than [I]3639-i have a just claim to . When [I]3639-i colour , and when [I]3639-i shade before [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver , [I]3639-i do not pity [myself]3639-i . [I]3639-i scorn the weakness . [I]3639-i know it is ignoble : a mere fever of the flesh : not , [I]3639-i declare , the convulsion of the soul . THAT is just as fixed as a rock , firm set in the depths of [a restless sea]7248-a restless sea . Know [me]3639-i to be what [I]3639-i am - [a cold hard man]7249-a cold hard man . "[3639-i] [I]0-i smiled incredulously . " [You]0-i have taken [my]3644-my confidence by storm , "[3644-my] [he]3644-my continued , " and now it is much at [your]0-i service . [I]3644-my am simply , in [my]3644-my original state - stripped of that blood - bleached robe with which [Christianity]428-christianity covers human deformity - [a cold , hard , ambitious man]7250-a cold , hard , ambitious man . Natural affection only , of all the sentiments , has permanent power over [me]3644-my . Reason , and not feeling , is [my]3644-my guide ; [my]3644-my ambition is unlimited : [my]3644-my desire to rise higher , to do more than [others]1041-others , insatiable . [I]3644-my honour endurance , perseverance , industry , talent ; because these are the means by which [men]482-men achieve great ends and mount to lofty eminence . [I]3644-my watch [your]0-i career with interest , because [I]3644-my consider [you]0-i a specimen of [a diligent , orderly , energetic woman]7253-a diligent , orderly , energetic woman : not because [I]3644-my deeply compassionate what [you]0-i have gone through , or what [you]0-i still suffer . "[3644-my] " [You]3644-my would describe [yourself]3644-my as [a mere pagan philosopher]7254-a mere pagan philosopher , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " No . There is this difference between [me]0-i and [deistic philosophers]7255-deistic philosophers : [I]0-i believe ; and [I]0-i believe the Gospel . [You]0-i missed [your]0-i epithet . [I]0-i am not [a pagan]7256-a pagan , but [a Christian philosopher]7257-a christian philosopher - [a follower of [the sect of [Jesus]416-jesus]7259-the sect of jesus]7258-a follower of the sect of jesus . As [[His]416-jesus disciple]7260-his disciple [I]0-i adopt [His]416-jesus pure , [His]416-jesus merciful , [His]416-jesus benignant doctrines . [I]0-i advocate them : [I]0-i am sworn to spread them . Won in youth to religion , [she]7261-she has cultivated [my]0-i original qualities thus:- From the minute germ , natural affection , [she]7261-she has developed the overshadowing tree , philanthropy . From the wild stringy root of human uprightness , [she]7261-she has reared a due sense of the Divine justice . Of the ambition to win power and renown for [my]0-i wretched self , [she]7261-she has formed the ambition to spread [[my]0-i Master]4336-my master 's kingdom ; to achieve victories for the standard of the cross . So much has religion done for [me]0-i ; turning the original materials to the best account ; pruning and training nature . But [she]7261-she could not eradicate nature : nor will it be eradicated ' till [this mortal]7263-this mortal shall put on immortality . ' "[0-i] Having said this , [he]3645-he took [his]3645-he hat , which lay on the table beside [my]0-i palette . Once more [he]3645-he looked at the portrait . " [She]7261-she IS lovely , "[3645-he] [he]3645-he murmured . " [She]7261-she is well named the Rose of [the World]484-the world , indeed ! "[3645-he] " And may [I]3645-he not paint one like it for [you]3645-he ? "[3645-he] " CUI BONO ? No . "[3645-he] [He]3645-he drew over the picture the sheet of thin paper on which [I]0-i was accustomed to rest [my]0-i hand in painting , to prevent the cardboard from being sullied . What [he]3645-he suddenly saw on this blank paper , it was impossible for [me]0-i to tell ; but something had caught [his]3645-he eye . [He]3645-he took it up with a snatch ; [he]3645-he looked at the edge ; then shot a glance at [me]0-i , inexpressibly peculiar , and quite incomprehensible : a glance that seemed to take and make note of every point in [my]0-i shape , face , and dress ; for it traversed all , quick , keen as lightning . [His]3645-he lips parted , as if to speak : but [he]3645-he checked the coming sentence , whatever it was . " What is the matter ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " Nothing in [the world]484-the world , "[3645-he] was the reply ; and , replacing the paper , [I]0-i saw [him]3645-he dexterously tear a narrow slip from the margin . It disappeared in [his]3645-he glove ; and , with one hasty nod and " good - afternoon , "[3645-he] [he]3645-he vanished . " Well ! "[0-i] [I]0-i exclaimed , using an expression of the district , " that caps the globe , however ! "[0-i] [I]0-i , in [my]0-i turn , scrutinised the paper ; but saw nothing on it save a few dingy stains of paint where [I]0-i had tried the tint in [my]0-i pencil . [I]0-i pondered the mystery a minute or two ; but finding it insolvable , and being certain it could not be of much moment , [I]0-i dismissed , and soon forgot it . CHAPTER XXXIII When [Mr. St. John]177-st. john went , it was beginning to snow ; the whirling storm continued all night . The next day a keen wind brought fresh and blinding falls ; by twilight [the valley]6769-the valley was drifted up and almost impassable . [I]0-i had closed [my]0-i shutter , laid a mat to the door to prevent the snow from blowing in under it , trimmed [my]0-i fire , and after sitting nearly an hour on the hearth listening to the muffled fury of the tempest , [I]0-i lit a candle , took down " [Marmion]427-marmion , "[0-i] and beginning - " Day set on [Norham]121-norham 's castled steep , And [[Tweed]122-tweed 's fair river broad and deep , And [Cheviot]123-cheviot 's mountains lone]7266-tweed 's fair river broad and deep , and cheviot 's mountains lone ; [The massive towers]7267-the massive towers , [the donjon keep]7268-the donjon keep , The flanking walls that round [them]7267-the massive towers sweep , In yellow lustre shone "[0-i] - [I]0-i soon forgot storm in music . [I]0-i heard a noise : the wind , [I]0-i thought , shook the door . No ; it was [St. John Rivers]177-st. john , who , lifting the latch , came in out of the frozen hurricane - the howling darkness - and stood before [me]0-i : the cloak that covered [his]177-st. john tall figure all white as a glacier . [I]0-i was almost in consternation , so little had [I]0-i expected [any guest]3647-any guest from [the blocked - up vale]3648-the blocked - up vale that night . " Any ill news ? "[0-i] [I]0-i demanded . " Has anything happened ? "[0-i] " No . How very easily alarmed [you]0-i are ! "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john answered , removing [his]177-st. john cloak and hanging it up against the door , towards which [he]177-st. john again coolly pushed the mat which [his]177-st. john entrance had deranged . [He]177-st. john stamped the snow from [his]177-st. john boots . " [I]177-st. john shall sully the purity of [your]0-i floor , "[177-st. john] said [he]177-st. john , " but [you]0-i must excuse [me]177-st. john for once . "[177-st. john] Then [he]177-st. john approached the fire . " [I]177-st. john have had hard work to get here , [I]177-st. john assure [you]0-i , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john observed , as [he]177-st. john warmed [his]177-st. john hands over the flame . " One drift took [me]177-st. john up to the waist ; happily the snow is quite soft yet . "[177-st. john] " But why are [you]177-st. john come ? "[0-i] [I]0-i could not forbear saying . " Rather an inhospitable question to put to [a visitor]4974-a visitor ; but since [you]0-i ask it , [I]177-st. john answer simply to have a little talk with [you]0-i ; [I]177-st. john got tired of [my]177-st. john mute books and [empty rooms]7270-empty rooms . Besides , since yesterday [I]177-st. john have experienced the excitement of [a person to whom a tale has been half- told]7271-a person to whom a tale has been half- told , and who is impatient to hear the sequel . "[177-st. john] [He]177-st. john sat down . [I]0-i recalled [his]177-st. john singular conduct of yesterday , and really [I]0-i began to fear [his]177-st. john wits were touched . If [he]177-st. john were insane , however , [his]177-st. john was a very cool and collected insanity : [I]0-i had never seen that handsome - featured face of [his]177-st. john look more like chiselled marble than it did just now , as [he]177-st. john put aside [his]177-st. john snow - wet hair from [his]177-st. john forehead and let the firelight shine free on [his]177-st. john pale brow and cheek as pale , where it grieved [me]0-i to discover the hollow trace of care or sorrow now so plainly graved . [I]0-i waited , expecting [he]177-st. john would say something [I]0-i could at least comprehend ; but [his]177-st. john hand was now at [his]177-st. john chin , [his]177-st. john finger on [his]177-st. john lip : [he]177-st. john was thinking . It struck [me]0-i that [his]177-st. john hand looked wasted like [his]177-st. john face . A perhaps uncalled - for gush of pity came over [my]0-i heart : [I]0-i was moved to say - " [I]0-i wish [Diana]400-diana or [Mary]233-mary would come and live with [you]177-st. john : it is too bad that [you]177-st. john should be quite alone ; and [you]177-st. john are recklessly rash about [your]177-st. john own health . "[0-i] " Not at all , "[177-st. john] said [he]177-st. john : " [I]177-st. john care for [myself]177-st. john when necessary . [I]177-st. john am well now . What do [you]0-i see amiss in [me]177-st. john ? "[177-st. john] This was said with a careless , abstracted indifference , which showed that [my]0-i solicitude was , at least in [his]177-st. john opinion , wholly superfluous . [I]0-i was silenced . [He]177-st. john still slowly moved [his]177-st. john finger over [his]177-st. john upper lip , and still [his]177-st. john eye dwelt dreamily on the glowing grate ; thinking it urgent to say something , [I]0-i asked [him]177-st. john presently if [he]177-st. john felt any cold draught from the door , which was behind [him]177-st. john . " No , no ! "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john responded shortly and somewhat testily . " Well , "[0-i] [I]0-i reflected , " if [you]177-st. john wo n't talk , [you]177-st. john may be still ; [I]0-i 'll let [you]177-st. john alone now , and return to [my]0-i book . "[0-i] So [I]0-i snuffed the candle and resumed the perusal of " [Marmion]427-marmion . "[177-st. john] [He]177-st. john soon stirred ; [my]0-i eye was instantly drawn to [his]177-st. john movements ; [he]177-st. john only took out a morocco pocket - book , thence produced a letter , which [he]177-st. john read in silence , folded it , put it back , relapsed into meditation . It was vain to try to read with such an inscrutable fixture before [me]0-i ; nor could [I]0-i , in impatience , consent to be dumb ; [he]177-st. john might rebuff [me]0-i if [he]177-st. john liked , but talk [I]0-i would . " Have [you]177-st. john heard from [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary lately ? "[177-st. john] " Not since the letter [I]177-st. john showed [you]177-st. john a week ago . "[177-st. john] " There has not been any change made about [your]177-st. john own arrangements ? [You]177-st. john will not be summoned to leave [England]21-england sooner than [you]177-st. john expected ? "[177-st. john] " [I]177-st. john fear not , indeed : such chance is too good to befall [me]177-st. john . "[177-st. john] Baffled so far , [I]0-i changed [my]0-i ground . [I]0-i bethought [myself]0-i to talk about [the school]4461-the school and [[my]0-i scholars]7107-my scholars . " [[Mary Garrett]429-mary garrett 's mother]7272-mary garrett 's mother is better , and [Mary]429-mary garrett came back to [the school]4461-the school this morning , and [I]0-i shall have [four new girls]7274-four new girls next week from the Foundry Close - [they]7274-four new girls would have come to - day but for the snow . "[0-i] " Indeed ! "[177-st. john] " [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver pays for two . "[3651-i] " Does [he]399-mr. oliver ? "[0-i] " [He]399-mr. oliver means to give [the whole school]940-the whole school a treat at Christmas . "[177-st. john] " [I]3651-i know . "[3651-i] " Was it [your]3651-i suggestion ? "[0-i] " No . "[177-st. john] " Whose , then ? "[3651-i] " [[His]399-mr. oliver daughter]7128-his daughter 's , [I]0-i think . "[0-i] " It is like [her]7128-his daughter : [she]7128-his daughter is so good - natured . "[0-i] " Yes . "[3651-i] Again came the blank of a pause : the clock struck eight strokes . It aroused [him]3651-i ; [he]3651-i uncrossed [his]3651-i legs , sat erect , turned to [me]0-i . " Leave [your]0-i book a moment , and come a little nearer the fire , "[3651-i] [he]3651-i said . [Wondering]430-wondering , and of [my]0-i wonder finding no end , [I]0-i complied . " Half - an - hour ago , "[3651-i] [he]3651-i pursued , " [I]3651-i spoke of [my]3651-i impatience to hear the sequel of a tale : on reflection , [I]3651-i find the matter will be better managed by [my]3651-i assuming [the narrator]7277-the narrator 's part , and converting [you]0-i into [a listener]5370-a listener . Before commencing , it is but fair to warn [you]0-i that the story will sound somewhat hackneyed in [your]0-i ears ; but stale details often regain a degree of freshness when they pass through new lips . For the rest , whether trite or novel , it is short . "[3651-i] Twenty years ago , [a poor curate]3652-a poor curate - never mind [his]3652-a poor curate name at this moment - fell in love with [[a rich man]3653-a rich man 's daughter]3654-a rich man 's daughter ; [she]3654-a rich man 's daughter fell in love with [him]3652-a poor curate , and married [him]3652-a poor curate , against the advice of all [[her]3654-a rich man 's daughter friends]715-her friends , who consequently disowned [her]3654-a rich man 's daughter immediately after the wedding . Before two years passed , [the rash pair]3656-the rash pair were both dead , and laid quietly side by side under one slab . [I]0-i have seen [their]3656-the rash pair grave ; it formed part of the pavement of [a huge churchyard surrounding [the grim , soot - black old cathedral of [an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire]3659-an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire]3658-the grim , soot - black old cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire]3657-a huge churchyard surrounding the grim , soot - black old cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire . [They]3656-the rash pair left [a daughter]3015-a daughter , which , at its very birth , [Charity]431-charity received in [her]431-charity lap - cold as that of the snow - drift [I]0-i almost stuck fast in to - night . [Charity]431-charity carried the friendless thing to [the house of [its]3015-a daughter rich maternal relations]3661-the house of its rich maternal relations ; it was reared by [an aunt - in - law]3662-an aunt - in - law , called [I]0-i come to names now [Mrs. Reed of Gateshead]432-mrs. reed of gateshead . [You]0-i start - did [you]0-i hear a noise ? [I]0-i daresay it is only a rat scrambling along the rafters of [the adjoining schoolroom]3663-the adjoining schoolroom : it was [a barn before [I]0-i had [it]3664-a barn before i had it repaired and altered , and barns are generally haunted by rats repaired and altered , and [barns]3665-barns are generally haunted by rats]3664-a barn before i had it repaired and altered , and barns are generally haunted by rats . - To proceed . [Mrs. Reed]432-mrs. reed of gateshead kept [the orphan]3666-the orphan ten years : whether it was happy or not with [her]432-mrs. reed of gateshead , [I]0-i can not say , never having been told ; but at the end of that time [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead transferred [it]3666-the orphan to [a place [you]0-i know - being no other than [Lowood School]24-lowood school , where [you]0-i so long resided [yourself]0-i]3667-a place you know - being no other than lowood school , where you so long resided yourself . It seems [her]432-mrs. reed of gateshead career there was very honourable : from [a pupil]7014-a pupil , [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead became [a teacher]4885-a teacher , like [yourself]0-i - really it strikes [me]0-i there are parallel points in [her]432-mrs. reed of gateshead history and [yours]0-i - [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead left it to be [a governess]5029-a governess : there , again , [your]0-i fates were analogous ; [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead undertook the education of [the ward of a certain [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester]3671-the ward of a certain mr. rochester . " "[432-mrs. reed of gateshead] [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ! " [I]177-st. john interrupted . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i can guess [your]0-i feelings , " [he]0-i said , "[0-i] but restrain them for a while : [I]0-i have nearly finished ; hear [me]0-i to the end . [Of Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's character [I]0-i know nothing , but the one fact that [he]251-mr. rochester professed to offer honourable marriage to [this young girl]3672-this young girl , and that at the very altar [she]3672-this young girl discovered [he]251-mr. rochester had [a wife]5665-a wife yet alive , though [a lunatic]3674-a lunatic . What [his]251-mr. rochester subsequent conduct and proposals were is a matter of pure conjecture ; but when an event transpired which rendered inquiry after [the governess]1491-the governess necessary , it was discovered [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead was gone - [no one]593-no one could tell when , where , or how . [She]432-mrs. reed of gateshead had left [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall in the night ; every research after [her]432-mrs. reed of gateshead course had been vain : [the country]4525-the country had been scoured far and wide ; no vestige of information could be gathered respecting [her]432-mrs. reed of gateshead . Yet that [she]432-mrs. reed of gateshead should be found is become a matter of serious urgency : advertisements have been put in all the papers ; [I]0-i [myself]0-i have received a letter from [one Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs , [a solicitor]3678-a solicitor , communicating the details [I]0-i have just imparted . Is it not an odd tale ? " "[3679-you] Just tell [me]0-i this , " said [I]3679-you , "[3679-you] and since [you]3679-you know so much , [you]3679-you surely can tell it [me]0-i - what of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? How and where is [he]251-mr. rochester ? What is [he]251-mr. rochester doing ? Is [he]251-mr. rochester well ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am ignorant of all concerning [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester : the letter never mentions [him]251-mr. rochester but to narrate the fraudulent and illegal attempt [I]0-i have adverted to . [You]3679-you should rather ask the name of [the governess]1491-the governess - the nature of the event which requires [her]1491-the governess appearance . " "[1491-the governess] Did [no one]593-no one go to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , then ? Did [no one]593-no one see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i suppose not . " "[0-i] But [they]3683-they wrote to [him]251-mr. rochester ? " "[3683-they] Of course . " "[3683-they] And what did [he]251-mr. rochester say ? Who has [his]251-mr. rochester letters ? " "[251-mr. rochester] [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs intimates that the answer to [his]251-mr. rochester application was not from [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , but from [a lady]4932-a lady : it is signed ' [Alice Fairfax]371-alice . ' " [I]377-edward fairfax rochester felt cold and dismayed : [my]377-edward fairfax rochester worst fears then were probably true : [he]251-mr. rochester had in all probability left [England]21-england and rushed in reckless desperation to [some former haunt on [the Continent]52-the continent]7279-some former haunt on the continent . And what opiate for [his]251-mr. rochester severe sufferings - what object for [his]251-mr. rochester strong passions - had [he]251-mr. rochester sought [there]4426-there ? [I]377-edward fairfax rochester dared not answer the question . Oh , [[my]377-edward fairfax rochester poor master]7281-my poor master - once almost [[my]377-edward fairfax rochester husband]5014-my husband - whom [I]377-edward fairfax rochester had often called "[377-edward fairfax rochester] [[my]0-i dear]4468-my dear [Edward]377-edward fairfax rochester ! " "[377-edward fairfax rochester] [He]377-edward fairfax rochester must have been [a bad man]3686-a bad man , " observed [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john . "[3687-you] [You]3687-you do n't know [him]377-edward fairfax rochester - do n't pronounce an opinion upon [him]377-edward fairfax rochester , " [I]3687-you said , with warmth . "[3687-you] Very well , " [he]0-i answered quietly : "[3687-you] and indeed [my]0-i head is otherwise occupied than with [him]377-edward fairfax rochester : [I]0-i have [my]0-i tale to finish . Since [you]3687-you wo n't ask [the governess]1491-the governess 's name , [I]0-i must tell it of [my]0-i own accord . Stay ! [I]0-i have it here - it is always more satisfactory to see important points written down , fairly committed to black and white . " And the pocket - book was again deliberately produced , opened , sought through ; from one of its compartments was extracted a shabby slip of paper , hastily torn off : [I]146-jane recognised in its texture and its stains of ultra - marine , and lake , and vermillion , the ravished margin of the portrait - cover . [He]376-mr. briggs got up , held it close to [my]146-jane eyes : and [I]146-jane read , traced in Indian ink , in [my]146-jane own handwriting , the words "[146-jane] [JANE EYRE]146-jane " - the work doubtless of some moment of abstraction . "[376-mr. briggs] [Briggs]376-mr. briggs wrote to [me]0-i of a [Jane Eyre]146-jane : " [he]376-mr. briggs said , "[376-mr. briggs] the advertisements demanded a [Jane Eyre]146-jane : [I]0-i knew [a Jane Elliott]406-jane elliott . - [I]0-i confess [I]0-i had [my]0-i suspicions , but it was only yesterday afternoon they were at once resolved into certainty . [You]376-mr. briggs own the name and renounce the alias ? " "[376-mr. briggs] Yes - yes ; but where is [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs ? [He]376-mr. briggs perhaps knows more of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester than [you]0-i do . " "[376-mr. briggs] [Briggs]376-mr. briggs is in [London]31-london . [I]0-i should doubt [his]376-mr. briggs knowing anything at all about [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ; it is not in [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester [he]376-mr. briggs is interested . Meantime , [you]0-i forget essential points in pursuing trifles : [you]0-i do not inquire why [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs sought after [you]0-i - what [he]376-mr. briggs wanted with [you]0-i . " "[376-mr. briggs] Well , what did [he]376-mr. briggs want ? " "[376-mr. briggs] Merely to tell [you]0-i that [[your]0-i uncle]6081-your uncle , [Mr. Eyre of Madeira]245-madeira , is dead ; that [he]245-madeira has left [you]0-i all [his]245-madeira property , and that [you]0-i are now rich - merely that - nothing more . " "[0-i] [I]0-i ! - rich ? " "[0-i] Yes , [you]0-i , rich - quite [an heiress]3690-an heiress . " Silence succeeded . "[0-i] [You]0-i must prove [your]0-i identity of course , " resumed [St. John]177-st. john presently : "[0-i] a step which will offer no difficulties ; [you]0-i can then enter on immediate possession . [Your]0-i fortune is vested in the English funds ; [Briggs]376-mr. briggs has the will and the necessary documents . " Here was a new card turned up ! It is a fine thing , [reader]496-reader , to be lifted in a moment from indigence to wealth - a very fine thing ; but not a matter [one]4415-one can comprehend , or consequently enjoy , all at once . And then there are other chances in life far more thrilling and rapture - giving : THIS is solid , an affair of [the actual world]7285-the actual world , nothing ideal about it : all its associations are solid and sober , and its manifestations are the same . [One]4415-one does not jump , and spring , and shout hurrah ! at hearing [one]4415-one has got a fortune ; [one]4415-one begins to consider responsibilities , and to ponder business ; on a base of steady satisfaction rise certain grave cares , and [we]7289-we contain [ourselves]7289-we , and brood over [our]7289-we bliss with a solemn brow . Besides , the words Legacy , Bequest , go side by side with the words , Death , Funeral . [[My]3691-you uncle]4421-my uncle [I]3691-you had heard was dead - [[my]3691-you only relative]7291-my only relative ; ever since being made aware of [his]4421-my uncle existence , [I]3691-you had cherished the hope of one day seeing [him]4421-my uncle : now , [I]3691-you never should . And then this money came only to [me]3691-you : not to [me]3691-you and [a rejoicing family]7292-a rejoicing family , but to [my]3691-you isolated self . It was a grand boon doubtless ; and independence would be glorious - yes , [I]3691-you felt that - that thought swelled [my]3691-you heart . "[3691-you] [You]3691-you unbend [your]3691-you forehead at last , " said [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john . "[3691-you] [I]0-i thought [Medusa]433-medusa had looked at [you]3691-you , and that [you]3691-you were turning to stone . Perhaps now [you]3691-you will ask how much [you]3691-you are worth ? " "[3691-you] How much am [I]0-i worth ? " "[3691-you] Oh , a trifle ! Nothing of course to speak of - twenty thousand pounds , [I]0-i think [they]3692-i say - but what is that ? " "[3692-i] Twenty thousand pounds ? " Here was a new stunner - [I]3692-i had been calculating on four or five thousand . This news actually took [my]3692-i breath for a moment : [Mr. St. John]177-st. john , whom [I]3692-i had never heard laugh before , laughed now . "[3692-i] Well , " said [he]0-i , "[3692-i] if [you]3691-you had committed a murder , and [I]0-i had told [you]3691-you [your]3691-you crime was discovered , [you]3691-you could scarcely look more aghast . " "[3691-you] It is a large sum - do n't [you]3691-you think there is a mistake ? " "[3691-you] No mistake at all . " "[3691-you] Perhaps [you]3691-you have read the figures wrong - it may be two thousand ! " "[3691-you] It is written in letters , not figures , - twenty thousand . " [I]3691-you again felt rather like [an individual of but average gastronomical powers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for a hundred]7293-an individual of but average gastronomical powers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for a hundred . [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john rose now and put [his]177-st. john cloak on . "[3691-you] If it were not such a very wild night , " [he]177-st. john said , "[0-i] [I]0-i would send [Hannah]233-mary down to keep [you]3691-you company : [you]3691-you look too desperately miserable to be left alone . But [Hannah]233-mary , [poor woman]3693-poor woman ! could not stride the drifts so well as [I]0-i : [her]233-mary legs are not quite so long : so [I]0-i must e'en leave [you]3691-you to [your]3691-you sorrows . Good - night . " [He]177-st. john was lifting the latch : a sudden thought occurred to [me]376-mr. briggs . "[376-mr. briggs] Stop one minute ! " [I]376-mr. briggs cried . "[376-mr. briggs] Well ? " "[376-mr. briggs] It puzzles [me]0-i to know why [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs wrote to [you]3691-you about [me]0-i ; or how [he]376-mr. briggs knew [you]3691-you , or could fancy that [you]3691-you , living in such [an out - of - the - way place]3694-an out - of - the - way place , had the power to aid in [my]0-i discovery . " "[3691-you] Oh ! [I]0-i am [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , " [he]177-st. john said ; "[4606-a clergyman] and [the clergy]3696-the clergy are often appealed to about odd matters . " Again the latch rattled . "[3696-the clergy] No ; that does not satisfy [me]0-i ! " [I]3696-the clergy exclaimed : and indeed there was something in the hasty and unexplanatory reply which , instead of allaying , piqued [my]3696-the clergy curiosity more than ever . "[3696-the clergy] It is a very strange piece of business , " [I]3696-the clergy added ; "[3696-the clergy] [I]0-i must know more about it . " "[0-i] Another time . " "[0-i] No ; to - night ! - to - night ! " and as [he]177-st. john turned from the door , [I]0-i placed [myself]0-i between it and [him]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john looked rather embarrassed . "[0-i] [You]0-i certainly shall not go till [you]0-i have told [me]0-i all , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] [I]0-i would rather not just now . " "[0-i] [You]0-i shall ! - [you]0-i must ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i would rather [Diana]400-diana or [Mary]233-mary informed [you]0-i . " Of course these objections wrought [my]233-mary eagerness to a climax : gratified it must be , and that without delay ; and [I]233-mary told [him]0-i so . "[233-mary] But [I]0-i apprised [you]0-i that [I]0-i was [a hard man]3697-a hard man , " said [he]0-i , "[3697-a hard man] difficult to persuade . " "[3697-a hard man] And [I]0-i am [a hard woman]3698-a hard woman , - impossible to put off . " "[3698-a hard woman] And then , " [he]0-i pursued , "[3698-a hard woman] [I]0-i am cold : no fervour infects [me]0-i . " "[3698-a hard woman] Whereas [I]0-i am hot , and fire dissolves ice . The blaze there has thawed all the snow from [your]0-i cloak ; by the same token , it has streamed on to [my]0-i floor , and made it like [a trampled street]3699-a trampled street . As [you]0-i hope ever to be forgiven , [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , the high crime and misdemeanour of spoiling [a sanded kitchen]3700-a sanded kitchen , tell [me]0-i what [I]0-i wish to know . " "[0-i] Well , then , " [he]0-i said , "[0-i] [I]0-i yield ; if not to [your]0-i earnestness , to [your]0-i perseverance : as stone is worn by continual dropping . Besides , [you]0-i must know some day , - as well now as later . [Your]0-i name is [Jane Eyre]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] Of course : that was all settled before . " "[146-jane] [You]0-i are not , perhaps , aware that [I]0-i am [[your]0-i namesake]3701-your namesake ? - that [I]0-i was christened [St. John Eyre Rivers]360-john ? " "[360-john] No , indeed ! [I]0-i remember now seeing the letter E. comprised in [your]0-i initials written in books [you]0-i have at different times lent [me]0-i ; but [I]0-i never asked for what name it stood . But what then ? Surely - " [I]0-i stopped : [I]0-i could not trust [myself]0-i to entertain , much less to express , the thought that rushed upon [me]0-i - that embodied itself , - that , in a second , stood out a strong , solid probability . [Circumstances]434-circumstances knit themselves , fitted themselves , shot into order : the chain that had been lying hitherto a formless lump of links was drawn out straight , - every ring was perfect , the connection complete . [I]0-i knew , by instinct , how the matter stood , before [St. John]360-john had said another word ; but [I]0-i can not expect [the reader]947-the reader to have the same intuitive perception , so [I]0-i must repeat [his]947-the reader explanation . "[0-i] [[My]0-i mother]612-my mother 's name was [Eyre]360-john ; [she]612-my mother had [two brothers]3703-two brothers ; [one [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , who married [Miss Jane Reed]243-jane , of [Gateshead]20-gateshead]3704-one a clergyman , who married miss jane reed , of gateshead ; [the other]5683-the other , [John Eyre]360-john , Esq . , [merchant]6520-merchant , late of [Funchal]124-funchal , [Madeira]245-madeira . [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs , being [[Mr. Eyre]245-madeira 's solicitor]3708-mr. eyre 's solicitor , wrote to [us]3709-us last August to inform [us]3709-us of [[our]3709-us uncle]3528-our uncle 's death , and to say that [he]3528-our uncle had left [[his]3528-our uncle property]3711-his property to [[[his]3528-our uncle brother]5216-his brother [[the clergyman]6499-the clergyman 's orphan daughter]3715-the clergyman 's orphan daughter , overlooking [us]3709-us , in consequence of a quarrel , never forgiven , between [him]3528-our uncle and [[my]0-i father]682-my father]3713-his brother the clergyman 's orphan daughter , overlooking us , in consequence of a quarrel , never forgiven , between him and my father . [He]3528-our uncle wrote again a few weeks since , to intimate that [the heiress]7163-the heiress was lost , and asking if [we]3709-us knew anything of [her]7163-the heiress . A name casually written on a slip of paper has enabled [me]0-i to find [her]7163-the heiress out . [You]3718-you know the rest . " Again [he]3528-our uncle was going , but [I]3718-you set [my]3718-you back against the door . "[3718-you] Do let [me]0-i speak , " [I]3718-you said ; "[3718-you] let [me]0-i have one moment to draw breath and reflect . " [I]0-i paused - [he]3528-our uncle stood before [me]0-i , hat in hand , looking composed enough . [I]0-i resumed - "[0-i] [[Your]3718-you mother]4582-your mother was [[[my]0-i father]682-my father 's sister]3721-my father 's sister ? " "[4582-your mother] Yes . " "[4582-your mother] [[My]0-i aunt]4392-my aunt , consequently ? " [He]3528-our uncle bowed . "[4582-your mother] [[My]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle [John]360-john was [[your]3718-you uncle]6081-your uncle [John]360-john ? [You]3718-you , [Diana]400-diana , and [Mary]233-mary are [[[his]4421-my uncle sister]5987-his sister 's children , as [I]0-i am [[his]4421-my uncle brother]5216-his brother 's child]3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child ? " "[3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child] Undeniably . " "[3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child] [You]3728-you three , then , are [[my]0-i cousins]729-my cousins ; half [our]3730-our blood on each side flows from the same source ? " "[3730-our] [We]3730-our are [cousins]4391-cousins ; yes . " [I]0-i surveyed [him]4421-my uncle . It seemed [I]0-i had found [a brother]5331-a brother : one [I]0-i could be proud of , - one [I]0-i could love ; and [two sisters]7296-two sisters , whose qualities were such , that , when [I]0-i knew [them]7296-two sisters but as [mere strangers]7297-mere strangers , [they]7296-two sisters had inspired [me]0-i with genuine affection and admiration . [The two girls , on whom , kneeling down on the wet ground]7298-the two girls , on whom , kneeling down on the wet ground , and looking through the low , latticed window of [Moor House kitchen]104-moor house , [I]0-i had gazed with so bitter a mixture of interest and despair , were [[my]0-i near kinswomen]7299-my near kinswomen ; and [the young and stately gentleman who had found [me]0-i almost dying at [his]4421-my uncle threshold]7300-the young and stately gentleman who had found me almost dying at his threshold was [my]0-i blood relation . Glorious discovery to [a lonely wretch]7301-a lonely wretch ! This was wealth indeed ! - wealth to the heart ! - a mine of pure , genial affections . This was a blessing , bright , vivid , and exhilarating ; - not like the ponderous gift of gold : rich and welcome enough in its way , but sobering from its weight . [I]0-i now clapped [my]0-i hands in sudden joy - [my]0-i pulse bounded , [my]0-i veins thrilled . "[0-i] Oh , [I]0-i am glad ! - [I]0-i am glad ! " [I]0-i exclaimed . [St. John]360-john smiled . "[0-i] Did [I]0-i not say [you]0-i neglected essential points to pursue trifles ? " [he]360-john asked . "[0-i] [You]0-i were serious when [I]0-i told [you]0-i [you]0-i had got a fortune ; and now , for a matter of no moment , [you]0-i are excited . " "[0-i] What can [you]0-i mean ? It may be of no moment to [you]0-i ; [you]0-i have [sisters]545-sisters and do n't care for [a cousin]3733-a cousin ; but [I]0-i had [nobody]4628-nobody ; and now [three relations]3735-three relations , - or two , if [you]0-i do n't choose to be counted , - are born into [my]0-i world full - grown . [I]0-i say again , [I]0-i am glad ! " [I]0-i walked fast through [the room]535-the room : [I]0-i stopped , half suffocated with the thoughts that rose faster than [I]0-i could receive , comprehend , settle them:- thoughts of what might , could , would , and should be , and that ere long . [I]0-i looked at the blank wall : it seemed a sky thick with ascending stars , - every one lit [me]0-i to a purpose or delight . [Those who had saved [my]0-i life]7303-those who had saved my life , whom , till this hour , [I]0-i had loved barrenly , [I]0-i could now benefit . [They]7303-those who had saved my life were under a yoke , - [I]0-i could free [them]7303-those who had saved my life : [they]7303-those who had saved my life were scattered , - [I]0-i could reunite [them]7303-those who had saved my life : the independence , the affluence which was [mine]0-i , might be [theirs]7303-those who had saved my life too . Were [we]7304-we not four ? Twenty thousand pounds shared equally would be five thousand each , justice - enough and to spare : justice would be done , - mutual happiness secured . Now the wealth did not weigh on [me]0-i : now it was not a mere bequest of coin , - it was a legacy of life , hope , enjoyment . How [I]0-i looked while these ideas were taking [my]0-i spirit by storm , [I]0-i can not tell ; but [I]0-i perceived soon that [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john had placed a chair behind [me]0-i , and was gently attempting to make [me]0-i sit down on it . [He]177-st. john also advised [me]0-i to be composed ; [I]0-i scorned the insinuation of helplessness and distraction , shook off [his]177-st. john hand , and began to walk about again . "[0-i] Write to [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary to - morrow , " [I]0-i said , "[0-i] and tell [them]3736-they to come [home]509-home directly . [Diana]400-diana said [they]3736-they would both consider [themselves]3736-they rich with a thousand pounds , so with five thousand [they]3736-they will do very well . " "[400-diana] Tell [me]0-i where [I]0-i can get [you]3738-you a glass of water , " said [St. John]177-st. john ; "[400-diana] [you]3738-you must really make an effort to tranquillise [your]3738-you feelings . " "[3738-you] Nonsense ! and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on [you]3738-you ? Will it keep [you]3738-you in [England]21-england , induce [you]3738-you to marry [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver , and settle down like [an ordinary mortal]3739-an ordinary mortal ? " "[3738-you] [You]3738-you wander : [your]3738-you head becomes confused . [I]0-i have been too abrupt in communicating the news ; it has excited [you]3738-you beyond [your]3738-you strength . " "[177-st. john] [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john ! [you]177-st. john quite put [me]0-i out of patience : [I]0-i am rational enough ; it is [you]177-st. john who misunderstand , or rather who affect to misunderstand . " "[177-st. john] Perhaps , if [you]177-st. john explained [yourself]177-st. john a little more fully , [I]0-i should comprehend better . " "[177-st. john] Explain ! What is there to explain ? [You]3738-you can not fail to see that twenty thousand pounds , the sum in question , divided equally between [the nephew]3740-the nephew and [three nieces of [[our]3742-our uncle]3528-our uncle]3741-three nieces of our uncle , will give five thousand to each ? What [I]0-i want is , that [you]3738-you should write to [[your]3738-you sisters]4419-your sisters and tell [them]4419-your sisters of the fortune that has accrued to [them]4419-your sisters . " "[3738-you] To [you]177-st. john , [you]177-st. john mean . " "[0-i] [I]0-i have intimated [my]0-i view of the case : [I]0-i am incapable of taking any other . [I]0-i am not brutally selfish , blindly unjust , or fiendishly ungrateful . Besides , [I]0-i am resolved [I]0-i will have [a home]4344-a home and connections . [I]0-i like [Moor House]104-moor house , and [I]0-i will live at [Moor House]104-moor house ; [I]0-i like [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary , and [I]0-i will attach [myself]0-i for life to [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary . It would please and benefit [me]0-i to have five thousand pounds ; it would torment and oppress [me]0-i to have twenty thousand ; which , moreover , could never be [mine]0-i in justice , though it might in law . [I]0-i abandon to [you]3746-you , then , what is absolutely superfluous to [me]0-i . Let there be no opposition , and no discussion about it ; let [us]3747-us agree amongst [each other]724-each other , and decide the point at once . " "[3746-you] This is acting on first impulses ; [you]3746-you must take days to consider such a matter , ere [your]3746-you word can be regarded as valid . " "[3746-you] Oh ! if all [you]3746-you doubt is [my]0-i sincerity , [I]0-i am easy : [you]3746-you see the justice of the case ? " "[3746-you] [I]0-i DO see a certain justice ; but it is contrary to all custom . Besides , the entire fortune is [your]3746-you right : [[my]0-i uncle]4421-my uncle gained it by [his]4421-my uncle own efforts ; [he]4421-my uncle was free to leave it to whom [he]4421-my uncle would : [he]4421-my uncle left it to [you]3746-you . After all , justice permits [you]3746-you to keep it : [you]3746-you may , with a clear conscience , consider it absolutely [your]3746-you own . " "[0-i] With [me]0-i , " said [I]0-i , "[0-i] it is fully as much a matter of feeling as of conscience : [I]0-i must indulge [my]0-i feelings ; [I]0-i so seldom have had an opportunity of doing so . Were [you]3746-you to argue , object , and annoy [me]0-i for a year , [I]0-i could not forego the delicious pleasure of which [I]0-i have caught a glimpse - that of repaying , in part , a mighty obligation , and winning to [myself]0-i [lifelong friends]3750-lifelong friends . " "[3746-you] [You]3746-you think so now , " rejoined [St. John]177-st. john , "[3746-you] because [you]3746-you do not know what it is to possess , nor consequently to enjoy wealth : [you]3746-you can not form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give [you]3746-you ; of the place it would enable [you]3746-you to take in society ; of the prospects it would open to [you]3746-you : [you]3746-you can not - " "[3746-you] And [you]3746-you , " [I]3746-you interrupted , "[3746-you] can not at all imagine the craving [I]0-i have for fraternal and sisterly love . [I]0-i never had [a home]4344-a home , [I]0-i never had [brothers]4388-brothers or [sisters]545-sisters ; [I]0-i must and will have [them]3754-them now : [you]3746-you are not reluctant to admit [me]0-i and own [me]0-i , are [you]3746-you ? " "[243-jane] [Jane]243-jane , [I]0-i will be [[your]243-jane brother]3298-your brother - [[my]0-i sisters]3437-my sisters will be [[your]243-jane sisters]4419-your sisters - without stipulating for this sacrifice of [your]243-jane just rights . " "[435-brother] [Brother]435-brother ? Yes ; at the distance of a thousand leagues ! [Sisters]545-sisters ? Yes ; slaving amongst [strangers]1704-strangers ! [I]0-i , wealthy - gorged with gold [I]0-i never earned and do not merit ! [You]243-jane , penniless ! Famous equality and fraternisation ! Close union ! Intimate attachment ! " "[243-jane] But , [Jane]243-jane , [your]243-jane aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means [you]243-jane contemplate : [you]243-jane may marry . " "[0-i] Nonsense , again ! Marry ! [I]0-i do n't want to marry , and never shall marry . " "[0-i] That is saying too much : such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the excitement under which [you]243-jane labour . " "[0-i] It is not saying too much : [I]0-i know what [I]0-i feel , and how averse are [my]0-i inclinations to the bare thought of marriage . [No one]593-no one would take [me]0-i for love ; and [I]0-i will not be regarded in the light of a mere money speculation . And [I]0-i do not want [a stranger]799-a stranger - unsympathising , alien , different from [me]0-i ; [I]0-i want [my]0-i kindred : those with whom [I]0-i have full fellow - feeling . Say again [you]243-jane will be [[my]0-i brother]3082-my brother : when [you]243-jane uttered the words [I]0-i was satisfied , happy ; repeat them , if [you]243-jane can , repeat them sincerely . " "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i can . [I]0-i know [I]0-i have always loved [[my]0-i own sisters]3763-my own sisters ; and [I]0-i know on what [my]0-i affection for [them]3763-my own sisters is grounded , - respect for [their]3763-my own sisters worth and admiration of [their]3763-my own sisters talents . [You]243-jane too have principle and mind : [your]243-jane tastes and habits resemble [Diana]400-diana 's and [Mary]233-mary 's ; [your]243-jane presence is always agreeable to [me]0-i ; in [your]243-jane conversation [I]0-i have already for some time found a salutary solace . [I]0-i feel [I]0-i can easily and naturally make room in [my]0-i heart for [you]243-jane , as [[my]0-i third and youngest sister]3764-my third and youngest sister . " "[243-jane] Thank [you]243-jane : that contents [me]0-i for to - night . Now [you]243-jane had better go ; for if [you]243-jane stay longer , [you]243-jane will perhaps irritate [me]0-i afresh by some mistrustful scruple . " "[243-jane] And [the school]4461-the school , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ? It must now be shut up , [I]0-i suppose ? " "[0-i] No . [I]0-i will retain [my]0-i post of [mistress]6957-mistress till [you]243-jane get a substitute . " [He]0-i smiled approbation : [we]7305-we shook hands , and [he]0-i took leave . [I]0-i need not narrate in detail the further struggles [I]0-i had , and arguments [I]0-i used , to get matters regarding the legacy settled as [I]0-i wished . [My]0-i task was a very hard one ; but , as [I]0-i was absolutely resolved - as [[my]0-i cousins]729-my cousins saw at length that [my]0-i mind was really and immutably fixed on making a just division of the property - as [they]729-my cousins must in [their]729-my cousins own hearts have felt the equity of the intention ; and must , besides , have been innately conscious that in [my]0-i place [they]729-my cousins would have done precisely what [I]0-i wished to do - [they]729-my cousins yielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration . [The judges chosen]7307-the judges chosen were [Mr. Oliver]399-mr. oliver and [an able lawyer]7308-an able lawyer : both coincided in [my]0-i opinion : [I]0-i carried [my]0-i point . The instruments of transfer were drawn out : [St. John]177-st. john , [Diana]400-diana , [Mary]233-mary , and [I]0-i , [each]898-each became possessed of a competency . CHAPTER XXXIV It was near Christmas by the time all was settled : the season of general holiday approached . [I]0-i now closed [Morton school]105-morton , taking care that the parting should not be barren on [my]0-i side . Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully ; and to give somewhat when [we]7310-we have largely received , is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the sensations . [I]0-i had long felt with pleasure that [many of [[my]0-i rustic scholars]7312-my rustic scholars]7311-many of my rustic scholars liked [me]0-i , and when [we]7310-we parted , that consciousness was confirmed : [they]7311-many of my rustic scholars manifested [their]7311-many of my rustic scholars affection plainly and strongly . Deep was [my]0-i gratification to find [I]0-i had really a place in [their]7311-many of my rustic scholars unsophisticated hearts : [I]0-i promised [them]7311-many of my rustic scholars that never a week should pass in future that [I]0-i did not visit [them]7311-many of my rustic scholars , and give [them]7311-many of my rustic scholars an hour 's teaching in [[their]7311-many of my rustic scholars school]7313-their school . [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john came up as , having seen the classes , now numbering [sixty girls]7314-sixty girls , file out before [me]0-i , and locked the door , [I]0-i stood with the key in [my]0-i hand , exchanging a few words of special farewell with [some half - dozen of [[my]0-i best scholars]7316-my best scholars]7315-some half - dozen of my best scholars : as decent , [respectable , modest , and well - informed young women]7317-respectable , modest , and well - informed young women as could be found in [the ranks of [the British peasantry]7319-the british peasantry]7318-the ranks of the british peasantry . And that is saying a great deal ; for after all , [the British peasantry]7319-the british peasantry are the best taught , best mannered , most self - respecting of any in [Europe]75-europe : since those days [I]0-i have seen [paysannes]7321-paysannes and [Bauerinnen]436-bauerinnen ; and the best of [them]7319-the british peasantry seemed to [me]0-i ignorant , coarse , and besotted , compared with [[my]0-i Morton girls]7322-my morton girls . "[0-i] Do [you]3767-you consider [you]3767-you have got [your]3767-you reward for a season of exertion ? " asked [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john , when [they]7322-my morton girls were gone . "[3767-you] Does not the consciousness of having done some real good in [your]3767-you day and generation give pleasure ? " "[3767-you] Doubtless . " "[3767-you] And [you]3767-you have only toiled a few months ! Would not a life devoted to the task of regenerating [your]3767-you race be well spent ? " "[3767-you] Yes , " [I]3767-you said ; "[3767-you] but [I]0-i could not go on for ever so : [I]0-i want to enjoy [my]0-i own faculties as well as to cultivate those of [other people]2855-other people . [I]0-i must enjoy them now ; do n't recall either [my]0-i mind or body to [the school]4461-the school ; [I]0-i am out of it and disposed for full holiday . " [He]3767-you looked grave . "[0-i] What now ? What sudden eagerness is this [you]3767-you evince ? What are [you]3767-you going to do ? " "[3767-you] To be active : as active as [I]0-i can . And first [I]0-i must beg [you]3767-you to set [Hannah]233-mary at liberty , and get [somebody else]3770-somebody else to wait on [you]3767-you . " "[3770-somebody else] Do [you]3767-you want [her]233-mary ? " "[3767-you] Yes , to go with [me]0-i to [Moor House]104-moor house . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary will be at [home]509-home in a week , and [I]0-i want to have everything in order against [their]3772-their arrival . " "[0-i] [I]0-i understand . [I]0-i thought [you]3767-you were for flying off on some excursion . It is better so : [Hannah]233-mary shall go with [you]3767-you . " "[233-mary] Tell [her]233-mary to be ready by to - morrow then ; and here is the schoolroom key : [I]0-i will give [you]3767-you the key of [[my]0-i cottage]7119-my cottage in the morning . " [He]0-i took it . "[0-i] [You]3767-you give it up very gleefully , " said [he]0-i ; "[3767-you] [I]0-i do n't quite understand [your]3767-you light - heartedness , because [I]0-i can not tell what employment [you]3767-you propose to [yourself]3767-you as a substitute for the one [you]3767-you are relinquishing . What aim , what purpose , what ambition in life have [you]3767-you now ? " "[0-i] [My]0-i first aim will be to CLEAN DOWN do [you]3767-you comprehend the full force of the expression ? - to CLEAN DOWN [Moor House]104-moor house from [chamber]3774-chamber to [cellar]3775-cellar ; [my]0-i next to rub it up with bees - wax , oil , and an indefinite number of cloths , till it glitters again ; [my]0-i third , to arrange every chair , table , bed , carpet , with mathematical precision ; afterwards [I]0-i shall go near to ruin [you]3767-you in coals and peat to keep up good fires in [every room]5850-every room ; and lastly , the two days preceding that on which [[your]3767-you sisters]4419-your sisters are expected will be devoted by [Hannah]233-mary and [me]0-i to such a beating of eggs , sorting of currants , grating of spices , compounding of Christmas cakes , chopping up of materials for mince - pies , and solemnising of other culinary rites , as words can convey but an inadequate notion of to the uninitiated like [you]3767-you . [My]0-i purpose , in short , is to have all things in an absolutely perfect state of readiness for [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary before next Thursday ; and [my]0-i ambition is to give [them]4419-your sisters a beau - ideal of a welcome when [they]4419-your sisters come . " [St. John]177-st. john smiled slightly : still [he]177-st. john was dissatisfied . "[0-i] It is all very well for the present , " said [he]177-st. john ; "[0-i] but seriously , [I]0-i trust that when the first flush of vivacity is over , [you]3767-you will look a little higher than domestic endearments and household joys . " "[3767-you] The best things [the world]484-the world has ! " [I]146-jane interrupted . "[146-jane] No , [Jane]146-jane , no : [this world]4664-this world is not the scene of fruition ; do not attempt to make it so : nor of rest ; do not turn slothful . " "[0-i] [I]0-i mean , on the contrary , to be busy . " "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i excuse [you]146-jane for the present : two months ' grace [I]0-i allow [you]146-jane for the full enjoyment of [your]146-jane new position , and for pleasing [yourself]146-jane with this late - found charm of relationship ; but THEN , [I]0-i hope [you]146-jane will begin to look beyond [Moor House]104-moor house and [Morton]105-morton , and sisterly society , and the selfish calm and sensual comfort of civilised affluence . [I]0-i hope [your]146-jane energies will then once more trouble [you]146-jane with [their]3780-their strength . " [I]0-i looked at [him]177-st. john with surprise . "[0-i] [St. John]177-st. john , " [I]177-st. john said , "[177-st. john] [I]0-i think [you]177-st. john are almost wicked to talk so . [I]0-i am disposed to be as content as [a queen]3781-a queen , and [you]146-jane try to stir [me]0-i up to restlessness ! To what end ? " "[146-jane] To the end of turning to profit the talents which [God]180-mrs. fairfax has committed to [your]146-jane keeping ; and of which [He]0-i will surely one day demand a strict account . [Jane]146-jane , [I]0-i shall watch [you]146-jane closely and anxiously - [I]0-i warn [you]146-jane of that . And try to restrain the disproportionate fervour with which [you]146-jane throw [yourself]146-jane into commonplace home pleasures . Do n't cling so tenaciously to ties of the flesh ; save [your]146-jane constancy and ardour for an adequate cause ; forbear to waste them on trite transient objects . Do [you]146-jane hear , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] Yes ; just as if [you]146-jane were speaking Greek . [I]0-i feel [I]0-i have adequate cause to be happy , and [I]0-i WILL be happy . Goodbye ! " Happy at [Moor House]7323-moor house [I]146-jane was , and hard [I]146-jane worked ; and so did [Hannah]233-mary : [she]233-mary was charmed to see how jovial [I]146-jane could be amidst the bustle of [a house]4534-a house turned topsy - turvy - how [I]146-jane could brush , and dust , and clean , and cook . And really , after a day or two of confusion worse confounded , it was delightful by degrees to invoke order from the chaos [ourselves]7325-ourselves had made . [I]146-jane had previously taken a journey to [S-]118-s- to purchase some new furniture : [[my]146-jane cousins]729-my cousins having given [me]146-jane [CARTE BLANCHE]127-carte blanche to effect what alterations [I]146-jane pleased , and a sum having been set aside for that purpose . [The ordinary sitting - room]7327-the ordinary sitting - room and [bedrooms]1937-bedrooms [I]146-jane left much as they were : for [I]146-jane knew [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary would derive more pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables , and chairs , and beds , than from the spectacle of the smartest innovations . Still some novelty was necessary , to give to [their]7327-the ordinary sitting - room return the piquancy with which [I]146-jane wished it to be invested . Dark handsome new carpets and curtains , an arrangement of some carefully selected antique ornaments in porcelain and bronze , new coverings , and mirrors , and dressing - cases , for the toilet tables , answered the end : they looked fresh without being glaring . [A spare parlour]7329-a spare parlour and [bedroom]7330-bedroom [I]146-jane refurnished entirely , with old mahogany and crimson upholstery : [I]146-jane laid canvas on [the passage]4815-the passage , and carpets on the stairs . When all was finished , [I]146-jane thought [Moor House]104-moor house as complete a model of bright modest snugness within , as it was , at this season , a specimen of wintry waste and desert dreariness without . The eventful Thursday at length came . [They]7327-the ordinary sitting - room were expected about dark , and ere dusk fires were lit [upstairs]552-upstairs and below ; [the kitchen]658-the kitchen was in perfect trim ; [Hannah]233-mary and [I]146-jane were dressed , and all was in readiness . [St. John]177-st. john arrived first . [I]146-jane had entreated [him]177-st. john to keep quite clear of [the house]4322-the house till everything was arranged : and , indeed , the bare idea of the commotion , at once sordid and trivial , going on within [its]4322-the house walls sufficed to scare [him]177-st. john to estrangement . [He]177-st. john found [me]146-jane in [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , watching the progress of certain cakes for tea , then baking . Approaching the hearth , [he]177-st. john asked , "[146-jane] If [I]0-i was at last satisfied with [housemaid]3782-housemaid 's work ? " [I]3783-i answered by inviting [him]177-st. john to accompany [me]3783-i on a general inspection of the result of [my]3783-i labours . With some difficulty , [I]3783-i got [him]177-st. john to make the tour of [the house]4322-the house . [He]177-st. john just looked in at the doors [I]3783-i opened ; and when [he]177-st. john had wandered [upstairs]552-upstairs and [downstairs]1218-downstairs , [he]177-st. john said [I]3783-i must have gone through a great deal of fatigue and trouble to have effected such considerable changes in so short a time : but not a syllable did [he]177-st. john utter indicating pleasure in the improved aspect of [[his]177-st. john abode]7339-his abode . This silence damped [me]3783-i . [I]3783-i thought perhaps the alterations had disturbed some old associations [he]177-st. john valued . [I]3783-i inquired whether this was the case : no doubt in a somewhat crest - fallen tone . "[3783-i] Not at all ; [he]3783-i had , on the contrary , remarked that [I]0-i had scrupulously respected every association : [he]3783-i feared , indeed , [I]0-i must have bestowed more thought on the matter than it was worth . How many minutes , for instance , had [I]0-i devoted to studying the arrangement of [this very room]3784-this very room ? - By - the - bye , could [I]0-i tell [him]3783-i where such a book was ? " [I]0-i showed [him]177-st. john the volume on the shelf : [he]177-st. john took it down , and withdrawing to [his]177-st. john accustomed window recess , [he]177-st. john began to read it . Now , [I]0-i did not like this , [reader]496-reader . [St. John]177-st. john was [a good man]4605-a good man ; but [I]0-i began to feel [he]177-st. john had spoken truth of [himself]177-st. john when [he]177-st. john said [he]177-st. john was hard and cold . The humanities and amenities of life had no attraction for [him]177-st. john - its peaceful enjoyments no charm . Literally , [he]177-st. john lived only to aspire - after what was good and great , certainly ; but still [he]177-st. john would never rest , nor approve of others resting round [him]177-st. john . As [I]0-i looked at [his]177-st. john lofty forehead , still and pale as a white stone - at [his]177-st. john fine lineaments fixed in study - [I]0-i comprehended all at once that [he]177-st. john would hardly make [a good husband]6406-a good husband : that it would be a trying thing to be [[his]177-st. john wife]4986-his wife . [I]0-i understood , as by inspiration , the nature of [his]177-st. john love for [Miss Oliver]417-miss oliver ; [I]0-i agreed with [him]177-st. john that it was but a love of the senses . [I]0-i comprehended how [he]177-st. john should despise [himself]177-st. john for the feverish influence it exercised over [him]177-st. john ; how [he]177-st. john should wish to stifle and destroy it ; how [he]177-st. john should mistrust its ever conducting permanently to [his]177-st. john happiness or [hers]417-miss oliver . [I]0-i saw [he]177-st. john was of the material from which nature hews [[her]417-miss oliver heroes]7344-her heroes - [Christian and Pagan]7345-christian and pagan - [[her]417-miss oliver lawgivers]7346-her lawgivers , [[her]417-miss oliver statesmen]7347-her statesmen , [[her]417-miss oliver conquerors]7348-her conquerors : a steadfast bulwark for great interests to rest upon ; but , at the fireside , too often a cold cumbrous column , gloomy and out of place . "[0-i] [This parlour]3785-this parlour is not [his]3786-his sphere , " [I]0-i reflected : "[0-i] [the Himalayan ridge]3787-the himalayan ridge or [Caffre]128-caffre bush , even the plague - cursed [Guinea Coast swamp]129-guinea coast swamp would suit [him]3786-his better . Well may [he]3786-his eschew the calm of domestic life ; it is not [his]3786-his element : there [his]3786-his faculties stagnate - they can not develop or appear to advantage . It is in scenes of strife and danger - where courage is proved , and energy exercised , and fortitude tasked - that [he]3786-his will speak and move , [the leader and superior]3788-the leader and superior . [A merry child]3789-a merry child would have the advantage of [him]3786-his on this hearth . [He]3786-his is right to choose [a missionary]2829-a missionary 's career - [I]0-i see it now . " "[3791-they] [They]3791-they are coming ! [they]3791-they are coming ! " cried [Hannah]233-mary , throwing open the parlour door . At the same moment [old Carlo]414-carlo barked joyfully . Out [I]3792-a poor lad ran . It was now dark ; but a rumbling of wheels was audible . [Hannah]233-mary soon had a lantern lit . [The vehicle]1356-the vehicle had stopped at [the wicket]2741-the wicket ; [the driver]1393-the driver opened the door : first [one well - known form]7352-one well - known form , then another , stepped out . In a minute [I]3792-a poor lad had [my]3792-a poor lad face under [their]3791-they bonnets , in contact first with [Mary]233-mary 's soft cheek , then with [Diana]400-diana 's flowing curls . [They]3791-they laughed - kissed [me]3792-a poor lad - then [Hannah]233-mary : patted [Carlo]414-carlo , who was half wild with delight ; asked eagerly if all was well ; and being assured in the affirmative , hastened into [the house]4322-the house . [They]3791-they were stiff with [their]3791-they long and jolting drive from [Whitcross]99-whitcross , and chilled with the frosty night air ; but [their]3791-they pleasant countenances expanded to the cheerful firelight . While [the driver]1393-the driver and [Hannah]233-mary brought in the boxes , [they]3791-they demanded [St. John]177-st. john . At this moment [he]177-st. john advanced from [the parlour]793-the parlour . [They]3791-they both threw [their]3791-they arms round [his]177-st. john neck at once . [He]177-st. john gave [each one]7356-each one quiet kiss , said in a low tone a few words of welcome , stood a while to be talked to , and then , intimating that [he]177-st. john supposed [they]3791-they would soon rejoin [him]177-st. john in [the parlour]793-the parlour , withdrew there as to [a place of refuge]7358-a place of refuge . [I]3792-a poor lad had lit [their]3791-they candles to go [upstairs]552-upstairs , but [Diana]400-diana had first to give hospitable orders respecting [the driver]1393-the driver ; this done , both followed [me]3792-a poor lad . [They]3791-they were delighted with the renovation and decorations of [[their]3791-they rooms]1971-their rooms ; with the new drapery , and fresh carpets , and rich tinted china vases : [they]3791-they expressed [their]3791-they gratification ungrudgingly . [I]3792-a poor lad had the pleasure of feeling that [my]3792-a poor lad arrangements met [their]3791-they wishes exactly , and that what [I]3792-a poor lad had done added a vivid charm to [their]3791-they joyous return [home]509-home . Sweet was that evening . [[My]3792-a poor lad cousins]729-my cousins , full of exhilaration , were so eloquent in narrative and comment , that [their]729-my cousins fluency covered [St. John]177-st. john 's taciturnity : [he]177-st. john was sincerely glad to see [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters ; but in [their]729-my cousins glow of fervour and flow of joy [he]177-st. john could not sympathise . The event of the day - that is , the return of [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary - pleased [him]177-st. john ; but the accompaniments of that event , the glad tumult , the garrulous glee of reception irked [him]177-st. john : [I]3792-a poor lad saw [he]177-st. john wished the calmer morrow was come . In the very meridian of the night 's enjoyment , about an hour after tea , a rap was heard at the door . [Hannah]233-mary entered with the intimation that "[3792-a poor lad] [a poor lad]3792-a poor lad was come , at that unlikely time , to fetch [Mr. Rivers]177-st. john to see [[his]3792-a poor lad mother]544-his mother , who was drawing away . " "[177-st. john] Where does [she]544-his mother live , [Hannah]233-mary ? " "[544-his mother] Clear up at [Whitcross Brow]130-whitcross brow , almost four miles off , and [moor and moss]3794-moor and moss all the way . " "[3792-a poor lad] Tell [him]3792-a poor lad [I]0-i will go . " "[3792-a poor lad] [I]0-i 'm sure , [sir]4374-sir , [you]4374-sir had better not . It 's the worst road to travel after dark that can be : there 's no track at all over [the bog]3796-the bog . And then it is such a bitter night - the keenest wind [you]4374-sir ever felt . [You]4374-sir had better send word , [sir]4374-sir , that [you]4374-sir will be [there]4426-there in the morning . " But [he]4374-sir was already in [the passage]4815-the passage , putting on [his]4374-sir cloak ; and without one objection , one murmur , [he]4374-sir departed . It was then nine o'clock : [he]4374-sir did not return till midnight . Starved and tired enough [he]4374-sir was : but [he]4374-sir looked happier than when [he]4374-sir set out . [He]4374-sir had performed an act of duty ; made an exertion ; felt [his]4374-sir own strength to do and deny , and was on better terms with [himself]4374-sir . [I]4374-sir am afraid the whole of the ensuing week tried [his]4374-sir patience . It was Christmas week : [we]7366-we took to no settled employment , but spent it in a sort of merry domestic dissipation . The air of [the moors]7054-the moors , the freedom of [home]509-home , the dawn of prosperity , acted on [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary 's spirits like some life - giving elixir : [they]7369-they were gay from morning till noon , and from noon till night . [They]7369-they could always talk ; and [their]7369-they discourse , witty , pithy , original , had such charms for [me]4374-sir , that [I]4374-sir preferred listening to , and sharing in it , to doing anything else . [St. John]177-st. john did not rebuke [our]7366-we vivacity ; but [he]177-st. john escaped from it : [he]177-st. john was seldom in [the house]4322-the house ; [[his]177-st. john parish]7046-his parish was large , [the population]7372-the population scattered , and [he]177-st. john found daily business in visiting [the sick]1203-the sick and poor in [[its]7046-his parish different districts]7374-its different districts . One morning at breakfast , [Diana]400-diana , after looking a little pensive for some minutes , asked [him]177-st. john , "[4374-sir] If [his]3799-his plans were yet unchanged . " "[4374-sir] Unchanged and unchangeable , " was the reply . And [he]177-st. john proceeded to inform [us]7366-we that [his]177-st. john departure from [England]21-england was now definitively fixed for the ensuing year . "[4374-sir] And [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond ? " suggested [Mary]233-mary , the words seeming to escape [her]233-mary lips involuntarily : for no sooner had [she]233-mary uttered them , than [she]233-mary made a gesture as if wishing to recall them . [St. John]177-st. john had a book in [his]177-st. john hand - it was [his]177-st. john unsocial custom to read at meals - [he]177-st. john closed it , and looked up , "[425-rosamond] [Rosamond Oliver]425-rosamond , " said [he]177-st. john , "[425-rosamond] is about to be married to [Mr. Granby]437-mr. granby , [one of [the best connected and most estimable residents in [S-]118-s-]3801-the best connected and most estimable residents in s- , [grandson]3802-grandson and [heir to [Sir Frederic Granby]438-sir frederic granby]3803-heir to sir frederic granby]3800-one of the best connected and most estimable residents in s- , grandson and heir to sir frederic granby : [I]0-i had the intelligence from [[her]425-rosamond father]1141-her father yesterday . " [[His]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters looked at [each other]724-each other and at [me]1141-her father ; [we]7377-we all three looked at [him]177-st. john : [he]177-st. john was serene as glass . "[1141-her father] The match must have been got up hastily , " said [Diana]400-diana : "[1141-her father] [they]3805-they can not have known [each other]724-each other long . " "[3805-they] But two months : [they]3805-they met in October at the county ball at [S-]118-s- . But where there are no obstacles to a union , as in the present case , where the connection is in every point desirable , delays are unnecessary : [they]3805-they will be married as soon as [S- Place]131-s- place , which [Sir Frederic]438-sir frederic granby gives up to [them]3805-they , can [he]438-sir frederic granby refitted for [their]3805-they reception . " The first time [I]3807-i found [St. John]177-st. john alone after this communication , [I]3807-i felt tempted to inquire if the event distressed [him]177-st. john : but [he]177-st. john seemed so little to need sympathy , that , so far from venturing to offer [him]177-st. john more , [I]3807-i experienced some shame at the recollection of what [I]3807-i had already hazarded . Besides , [I]3807-i was out of practice in talking to [him]177-st. john : [his]177-st. john reserve was again frozen over , and [my]3807-i frankness was congealed beneath it . [He]177-st. john had not kept [his]177-st. john promise of treating [me]3807-i like [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters ; [he]177-st. john continually made little chilling differences between [us]7379-us , which did not at all tend to the development of cordiality : in short , now that [I]3807-i was acknowledged [[his]177-st. john kinswoman]7380-his kinswoman , and lived under the same roof with [him]177-st. john , [I]3807-i felt the distance between [us]7379-us to be far greater than when [he]177-st. john had known [me]3807-i only as [the village schoolmistress]7381-the village schoolmistress . When [I]3807-i remembered how far [I]3807-i had once been admitted to [his]177-st. john confidence , [I]3807-i could hardly comprehend [his]177-st. john present frigidity . Such being the case , [I]3807-i felt not a little surprised when [he]177-st. john raised [his]177-st. john head suddenly from the desk over which [he]177-st. john was stooping , and said - "[3807-i] [You]3807-i see , [Jane]146-jane , the battle is fought and the victory won . " Startled at being thus addressed , [I]3807-i did not immediately reply : after a moment 's hesitation [I]3807-i answered - "[3807-i] But are [you]3808-you sure [you]3808-you are not in the position of [those conquerors whose triumphs have cost [them]3809-those conquerors whose triumphs have cost them too dear too dear]3809-those conquerors whose triumphs have cost them too dear ? Would not such another ruin [you]3808-you ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i think not ; and if [I]0-i were , it does not much signify ; [I]0-i shall never be called upon to contend for such another . The event of the conflict is decisive : [my]0-i way is now clear ; [I]0-i thank [God]180-mrs. fairfax for it ! " So saying , [he]177-st. john returned to [his]177-st. john papers and [his]177-st. john silence . As [our]7382-our mutual happiness [i.e.]3807-i , [Diana]400-diana 's , [Mary]233-mary 's , and [mine]3807-i settled into a quieter character , and [we]7382-our resumed [our]7382-our usual habits and regular studies , [St. John]177-st. john stayed more at [home]509-home : [he]177-st. john sat with [us]7382-our in [the same room]4880-the same room , sometimes for hours together . While [Mary]233-mary drew , [Diana]400-diana pursued a course of encyclopaedic reading [she]400-diana had to [my]0-i awe and amazement undertaken , and [I]0-i fagged away at [German]439-german , [he]177-st. john pondered a mystic lore of [his]177-st. john own : that of some Eastern tongue , the acquisition of which [he]177-st. john thought necessary to [his]177-st. john plans . Thus engaged , [he]177-st. john appeared , sitting in [[his]177-st. john own recess]7385-his own recess , quiet and absorbed enough ; but that blue eye of [his]177-st. john had a habit of leaving the outlandish - looking grammar , and wandering over , and sometimes fixing upon [us]7382-our , [[his]177-st. john fellow - students]7386-his fellow - students , with a curious intensity of observation : if caught , it would be instantly withdrawn ; yet ever and anon , it returned searchingly to [our]7382-our table . [I]0-i wondered what it meant : [I]0-i wondered , too , at the punctual satisfaction [he]177-st. john never failed to exhibit on an occasion that seemed to [me]0-i of small moment , namely , [my]0-i weekly visit to [Morton school]105-morton ; and still more was [I]0-i puzzled when , if the day was unfavourable , if there was snow , or rain , or high wind , and [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters urged [me]0-i not to go , [he]177-st. john would invariably make light of [their]4311-his sisters solicitude , and encourage [me]0-i to accomplish the task without regard to the elements . "[0-i] [Jane]146-jane is not such a weakling as [you]3810-you would make [her]146-jane , " [he]177-st. john would say : ' [she]146-jane can bear a mountain blast , or a shower , or a few flakes of snow , as well as any of [us]7388-us . [Her]146-jane constitution is both sound and elastic ; - better calculated to endure variations of climate than many more robust . "[0-i] And when [I]0-i returned , sometimes a good deal tired , and not a little weather - beaten , [I]0-i never dared complain , because [I]0-i saw that to murmur would be to vex [him]3811-he : on all occasions fortitude pleased [him]3811-he ; the reverse was a special annoyance . One afternoon , however , [I]0-i got leave to stay at [home]509-home , because [I]0-i really had a cold . [[His]3811-he sisters]4311-his sisters were gone to [Morton]105-morton in [my]0-i stead : [I]0-i sat reading [Schiller]440-schiller ; [he]3811-he , deciphering [his]3811-he crabbed Oriental scrolls . As [I]0-i exchanged a translation for an exercise , [I]0-i happened to look [his]3811-he way : there [I]0-i found [myself]0-i under the influence of the ever - watchful blue eye . How long it had been searching [me]0-i through and through , and over and over , [I]0-i can not tell : so keen was it , and yet so cold , [I]0-i felt for the moment superstitious - as if [I]0-i were sitting in [the room]535-the room with something uncanny . " [Jane]146-jane , what are [you]146-jane doing ? "[3811-he] " Learning German . "[3811-he] " [I]3811-he want [you]146-jane to give up German and learn [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee . "[3811-he] " [You]3811-he are not in earnest ? "[3811-he] " In such earnest that [I]3811-he must have it so : and [I]3811-he will tell [you]146-jane why . "[3811-he] [He]3811-he then went on to explain that [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee was the language [he]3811-he was [himself]3811-he at present studying ; that , as [he]3811-he advanced , [he]3811-he was apt to forget the commencement ; that it would assist [him]3811-he greatly to have [a pupil with whom [he]3811-he [might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them]3816-might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them thoroughly in [his]3811-he mind]3815-a pupil with whom he might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them thoroughly in his mind ; that [his]3811-he choice had hovered for some time between [me]0-i and [[his]3811-he sisters]4311-his sisters ; but that [he]3811-he had fixed on [me]0-i because [he]3811-he saw [I]0-i could sit at a task the longest of the three . Would [I]0-i do [him]3811-he this favour ? [I]0-i should not , perhaps , have to make the sacrifice long , as it wanted now barely three months to [his]3811-he departure . [St. John]177-st. john was not [a man to be lightly refused]3818-a man to be lightly refused : [you]3819-you felt that every impression made on [him]177-st. john , either for pain or pleasure , was deep - graved and permanent . [I]0-i consented . When [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary returned , [the former]5907-the former found [[her]5907-the former scholar]3821-her scholar transferred from [her]5907-the former to [[her]5907-the former brother]6047-her brother : [she]5907-the former laughed , and both [she]5907-the former and [Mary]233-mary agreed that [St. John]177-st. john should never have persuaded [them]3823-them to such a step . [He]177-st. john answered quietly - " [I]177-st. john know it . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i found [him]177-st. john a very patient , very forbearing , and yet [an exacting master]3824-an exacting master : [he]177-st. john expected [me]0-i to do a great deal ; and when [I]0-i fulfilled [his]177-st. john expectations , [he]177-st. john , in [his]177-st. john own way , fully testified [his]177-st. john approbation . By degrees , [he]177-st. john acquired a certain influence over [me]0-i that took away [my]0-i liberty of mind : [his]177-st. john praise and notice were more restraining than [his]177-st. john indifference . [I]0-i could no longer talk or laugh freely when [he]177-st. john was by , because a tiresomely importunate instinct reminded [me]0-i that vivacity at least in [me]0-i was distasteful to [him]177-st. john . [I]0-i was so fully aware that only serious moods and occupations were acceptable , that in [his]177-st. john presence every effort to sustain or follow any other became vain : [I]0-i fell under a freezing spell . When [he]177-st. john said " go , "[177-st. john] [I]0-i went ; " come , "[177-st. john] [I]0-i came ; " do this , "[0-i] [I]0-i did it . But [I]0-i did not love [my]0-i servitude : [I]0-i wished , many a time , [he]177-st. john had continued to neglect [me]0-i . One evening when , at bedtime , [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters and [I]0-i stood round [him]177-st. john , bidding [him]177-st. john good - night , [he]177-st. john kissed each of [them]4311-his sisters , as was [his]177-st. john custom ; and , as was equally [his]177-st. john custom , [he]177-st. john gave [me]0-i [his]177-st. john hand . [Diana]400-diana , who chanced to be in a frolicsome humour [SHE]400-diana was not painfully controlled by [his]177-st. john will ; for [hers]400-diana , in another way , was as strong , exclaimed - " [St. John]177-st. john ! [you]177-st. john used to call [Jane]146-jane [[your]177-st. john third sister]7389-your third sister , but [you]177-st. john do n't treat [her]146-jane as such : [you]177-st. john should kiss [her]146-jane too . "[400-diana] [She]400-diana pushed [me]0-i towards [him]177-st. john . [I]0-i thought [Diana]400-diana very provoking , and felt uncomfortably confused ; and while [I]0-i was thus thinking and feeling , [St. John]177-st. john bent [his]177-st. john head ; [his]177-st. john Greek face was brought to a level with [mine]0-i , [his]177-st. john eyes questioned [my]0-i eyes piercingly - [he]177-st. john kissed [me]0-i . There are no such things as marble kisses or ice kisses , or [I]0-i should say [[my]0-i ecclesiastical cousin]3826-my ecclesiastical cousin 's salute belonged to one of [these classes]3827-these classes ; but there may be experiment kisses , and [his]177-st. john was an experiment kiss . When given , [he]177-st. john viewed [me]0-i to learn the result ; it was not striking : [I]0-i am sure [I]0-i did not blush ; perhaps [I]0-i might have turned a little pale , for [I]0-i felt as if this kiss were a seal affixed to [my]0-i fetters . [He]177-st. john never omitted the ceremony afterwards , and the gravity and quiescence with which [I]0-i underwent it , seemed to invest it for [him]177-st. john with a certain charm . As for [me]0-i , [I]0-i daily wished more to please [him]177-st. john ; but to do so , [I]0-i felt daily more and more that [I]0-i must disown half [my]0-i nature , stifle half [my]0-i faculties , wrest [my]0-i tastes from [their]3828-their original bent , force [myself]0-i to the adoption of pursuits for which [I]0-i had no natural vocation . [He]177-st. john wanted to train [me]0-i to an elevation [I]0-i could never reach ; it racked [me]0-i hourly to aspire to the standard [he]177-st. john uplifted . The thing was as impossible as to mould [my]0-i irregular features to [his]177-st. john correct and classic pattern , to give to [my]0-i changeable green eyes the sea - blue tint and solemn lustre of [his]177-st. john own . Not [his]177-st. john ascendancy alone , however , held [me]0-i in thrall at present . Of late it had been easy enough for [me]0-i to look sad : a cankering evil sat at [my]0-i heart and drained [my]0-i happiness at its source - the evil of suspense . Perhaps [you]3829-you think [I]0-i had forgotten [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [reader]496-reader , amidst these changes of place and fortune . Not for a moment . [His]251-mr. rochester idea was still with [me]0-i , because it was not a vapour sunshine could disperse , nor [a sand - traced effigy storms could wash away]3831-a sand - traced effigy storms could wash away ; it was a name graven on a tablet , fated to last as long as the marble it inscribed . The craving to know what had become of [him]251-mr. rochester followed [me]0-i everywhere ; when [I]0-i was at [Morton]105-morton , [I]0-i re - entered [[my]0-i cottage]7119-my cottage every evening to think of that ; and now at [Moor House]104-moor house , [I]0-i sought [[my]0-i bedroom]2355-my bedroom each night to brood over it . In the course of [my]0-i necessary correspondence with [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs about the will , [I]0-i had inquired if [he]376-mr. briggs knew anything of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's present residence and state of health ; but , as [St. John]177-st. john had conjectured , [he]376-mr. briggs was quite ignorant of all concerning [him]251-mr. rochester . [I]0-i then wrote to [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , entreating information on the subject . [I]0-i had calculated with certainty on this step answering [my]0-i end : [I]0-i felt sure it would elicit an early answer . [I]0-i was astonished when a fortnight passed without reply ; but when two months wore away , and day after day the post arrived and brought nothing for [me]0-i , [I]0-i fell a prey to the keenest anxiety . [I]0-i wrote again : there was a chance of [my]0-i first letter having missed . Renewed hope followed renewed effort : it shone like the former for some weeks , then , like it , it faded , flickered : not a line , not a word reached [me]0-i . When half a year wasted in vain expectancy , [my]0-i hope died out , and then [I]0-i felt dark indeed . A fine spring shone round [me]0-i , which [I]0-i could not enjoy . Summer approached ; [Diana]400-diana tried to cheer [me]0-i : [she]400-diana said [I]0-i looked ill , and wished to accompany [me]0-i to [the sea - side]3834-the sea - side . This [St. John]177-st. john opposed ; [he]177-st. john said [I]0-i did not want dissipation , [I]0-i wanted employment ; [my]0-i present life was too purposeless , [I]0-i required an aim ; and , [I]0-i suppose , by way of supplying deficiencies , [he]177-st. john prolonged still further [my]0-i lessons in Hindostanee , and grew more urgent in requiring [their]3835-their accomplishment : and [I]0-i , like [a fool]1546-a fool , never thought of resisting [him]177-st. john - [I]0-i could not resist [him]177-st. john . One day [I]0-i had come to [my]0-i studies in lower spirits than usual ; the ebb was occasioned by a poignantly felt disappointment . [Hannah]233-mary had told [me]0-i in the morning there was a letter for [me]0-i , and when [I]0-i went down to take it , almost certain that the long - looked for tidings were vouchsafed [me]0-i at last , [I]0-i found only an unimportant note from [Mr. Briggs]376-mr. briggs on business . The bitter check had wrung from [me]0-i some tears ; and now , as [I]0-i sat poring over the crabbed characters and flourishing tropes of [an Indian scribe]3837-an indian scribe , [my]0-i eyes filled again . [St. John]177-st. john called [me]0-i to [his]177-st. john side to read ; in attempting to do this [my]0-i voice failed [me]0-i : words were lost in sobs . [He]177-st. john and [I]0-i were [the only occupants of [the parlour]793-the parlour]3838-the only occupants of the parlour : [Diana]400-diana was practising [her]400-diana music in [the drawing - room]513-the drawing - room , [Mary]233-mary was gardening - it was a very fine May day , clear , sunny , and breezy . [[My]0-i companion]4906-my companion expressed no surprise at this emotion , nor did [he]4906-my companion question [me]0-i as to its cause ; [he]4906-my companion only said - " [We]7390-we will wait a few minutes , [Jane]146-jane , till [you]146-jane are more composed . "[4906-my companion] And while [I]0-i smothered the paroxysm with all haste , [he]4906-my companion sat calm and patient , leaning on [his]4906-my companion desk , and looking like [a physician watching with the eye of science]3842-a physician watching with the eye of science an expected and fully understood crisis in [a patient]3843-a patient 's malady . Having stifled [my]0-i sobs , wiped [my]0-i eyes , and muttered something about not being very well that morning , [I]0-i resumed [my]0-i task , and succeeded in completing it . [St. John]177-st. john put away [my]0-i books and [his]177-st. john , locked [his]177-st. john desk , and said - " Now , [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane shall take a walk ; and with [me]177-st. john . "[177-st. john] " [I]177-st. john will call [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary . "[177-st. john] " No ; [I]0-i want only [one companion]7391-one companion this morning , and that must be [you]146-jane . Put on [your]146-jane things ; go out by the kitchen - door : take [the road]4892-the road towards [the head of [Marsh Glen]132-marsh glen]7393-the head of marsh glen : [I]0-i will join [you]146-jane in a moment . "[0-i] [I]0-i know [no medium]3844-no medium : [I]0-i never in [my]0-i life have known any medium in [my]0-i dealings with [positive , hard characters]3845-positive , hard characters , antagonistic to [my]0-i own , between absolute submission and determined revolt . [I]0-i have always faithfully observed the one , up to the very moment of bursting , sometimes with volcanic vehemence , into the other ; and as neither present circumstances warranted , nor [my]0-i present mood inclined [me]0-i to mutiny , [I]0-i observed careful obedience to [St. John]177-st. john 's directions ; and in ten minutes [I]0-i was treading [the wild track of [the glen]3847-the glen]3846-the wild track of the glen , side by side with [him]177-st. john . The breeze was from the west : it came over [the hills]7052-the hills , sweet with scents of heath and rush ; the sky was of stainless blue ; the stream descending [the ravine]3849-the ravine , swelled with past spring rains , poured along plentiful and clear , catching golden gleams from the sun , and sapphire tints from the firmament . As [we]3850-we advanced and left [the track]3851-the track , [we]3850-we trod a soft turf , mossy fine and emerald green , minutely enamelled with a tiny white flower , and spangled with a star - like yellow blossom : [the hills]7052-the hills , meantime , shut [us]3850-we quite in ; for [the glen]3847-the glen , towards [its]3847-the glen head , wound to their very core . " Let [us]3850-we rest here , "[177-st. john] said [St. John]177-st. john , as [we]3850-we reached the first stragglers of a battalion of rocks , guarding [a sort of pass]3854-a sort of pass , beyond which the beck rushed down [a waterfall]3855-a waterfall ; and where , still a little farther , [the mountain]5129-the mountain shook off turf and flower , had only heath for raiment and crag for gem - where it exaggerated [the wild to the savage]3857-the wild to the savage , and exchanged the fresh for the frowning - where [it]3858-it guarded the forlorn hope of solitude , and a last refuge for silence . [I]0-i took a seat : [St. John]177-st. john stood near [me]0-i . [He]177-st. john looked up [the pass]3859-the pass and down [the hollow]3860-the hollow ; [his]177-st. john glance wandered away with [the stream]960-the stream , and returned to traverse the unclouded heaven which coloured [it]3862-it : [he]177-st. john removed [his]177-st. john hat , let the breeze stir [his]177-st. john hair and kiss [his]177-st. john brow . [He]177-st. john seemed in communion with the genius of [the haunt]3863-the haunt : with [his]177-st. john eye [he]177-st. john bade farewell to something . " And [I]177-st. john shall see it again , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john said aloud , " in dreams when [I]177-st. john sleep by [the Ganges]133-the ganges : and again in a more remote hour - when another slumber overcomes [me]177-st. john - on [the shore of [a darker stream]7395-a darker stream]7394-the shore of a darker stream ! "[177-st. john] Strange words of a strange love ! [An austere patriot]3864-an austere patriot 's passion for [[his]177-st. john fatherland]3865-his fatherland ! [He]177-st. john sat down ; for half - an - hour [we]3866-we never spoke ; neither [he]177-st. john to [me]0-i nor [I]0-i to [him]177-st. john : that interval past , [he]177-st. john recommenced - " [Jane]146-jane , [I]177-st. john go in six weeks ; [I]177-st. john have taken [my]177-st. john berth in [an East Indiaman which sails on the 20th of June]7396-an east indiaman which sails on the 20th of june . "[177-st. john] " [God]180-mrs. fairfax will protect [you]177-st. john ; for [you]177-st. john have undertaken [His]177-st. john work , "[0-i] [I]0-i answered . " Yes , "[177-st. john] said [he]177-st. john , " there is [my]177-st. john glory and joy . [I]177-st. john am [the servant of [an infallible Master]7398-an infallible master]7397-the servant of an infallible master . [I]177-st. john am not going out under human guidance , subject to the defective laws and erring control of [[my]177-st. john feeble fellow - worms]7399-my feeble fellow - worms : [[my]177-st. john king]7400-my king , [[my]177-st. john lawgiver]7401-my lawgiver , [[my]177-st. john captain]7402-my captain , is the All - perfect . It seems strange to [me]177-st. john that all round [me]177-st. john do not burn to enlist under the same banner , - to join in the same enterprise . "[177-st. john] " [All]4567-all have not [your]4567-all powers , and it would be folly for [the feeble]7404-the feeble to wish to march with the strong . "[177-st. john] " [I]177-st. john do not speak to [the feeble]7404-the feeble , or think of [them]7404-the feeble : [I]177-st. john address only such as are worthy of the work , and competent to accomplish it . "[177-st. john] " Those are few in number , and difficult to discover . "[177-st. john] " [You]4567-all say truly ; but when found , it is right to stir [them]7404-the feeble up - to urge and exhort [them]7404-the feeble to the effort - to show [them]7404-the feeble what [their]7404-the feeble gifts are , and why [they]7404-the feeble were given - to speak Heaven 's message in [their]7404-the feeble ear , - to offer [them]7404-the feeble , direct from [God]180-mrs. fairfax , a place in the ranks of [[His]177-st. john chosen]7406-his chosen . "[177-st. john] " If [they]7404-the feeble are really qualified for the task , will not [[their]7404-the feeble own hearts]7407-their own hearts be the first to inform [them]7404-the feeble of it ? "[0-i] [I]0-i felt as if an awful charm was framing round and gathering over [me]0-i : [I]0-i trembled to hear some fatal word spoken which would at once declare and rivet the spell . " And what does [YOUR]4567-all heart say ? "[177-st. john] demanded [St. John]177-st. john . " [My]0-i heart is mute , - [my]0-i heart is mute , "[0-i] [I]0-i answered , struck and thrilled . " Then [I]177-st. john must speak for it , "[177-st. john] continued the deep , relentless voice . " [Jane]146-jane , come with [me]177-st. john to [India]63-india : come as [[my]177-st. john helpmeet]7408-my helpmeet and [fellow - labourer]7409-fellow - labourer . "[177-st. john] [The glen]3847-the glen and sky spun round : [the hills]7052-the hills heaved ! It was as if [I]0-i had heard a summons from [Heaven]285-heaven - as if [a visionary messenger , like [him]177-st. john of [Macedonia]135-macedonia]3869-a visionary messenger , like him of macedonia , had enounced , " Come over and help [us]7410-us ! "[177-st. john] But [I]0-i was [no apostle]3870-no apostle , - [I]0-i could not behold [the herald]3871-the herald , - [I]0-i could not receive [his]3871-the herald call . " Oh , [St. John]177-st. john ! "[0-i] [I]0-i cried , " have some mercy ! "[0-i] [I]0-i appealed to [one who , in the discharge of what [he]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty believed [his]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty duty]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , knew neither mercy nor remorse . [He]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty continued - " [God]180-mrs. fairfax and nature intended [you]0-i for [[a missionary]2829-a missionary 's wife]7237-a missionary 's wife . It is not personal , but mental endowments [they]7413-they have given [you]0-i : [you]0-i are formed for labour , not for love . [[A missionary]2829-a missionary 's wife]7237-a missionary 's wife [you]0-i must - shall be . [You]0-i shall be [mine]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty : [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty claim [you]0-i - not for [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty pleasure , but for [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty Sovereign 's service . "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] " [I]0-i am not fit for it : [I]0-i have no vocation , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . [He]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty had calculated on these first objections : [he]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty was not irritated by them . Indeed , as [he]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty leaned back against the crag behind [him]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , folded [his]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty arms on [his]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty chest , and fixed [his]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty countenance , [I]0-i saw [he]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty was prepared for a long and trying opposition , and had taken in a stock of patience to last [him]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty to its close - resolved , however , that that close should be conquest for [him]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty . " Humility , [Jane]146-jane , "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] said [he]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , " is the groundwork of Christian virtues : [you]146-jane say right that [you]146-jane are not fit for the work . Who is fit for it ? Or who , that ever was truly called , believed [himself]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty worthy of the summons ? [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , for instance , am but dust and ashes . With [St. Paul]442-st. paul , [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty acknowledge [myself]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty [the chiefest of [sinners]7417-sinners]7416-the chiefest of sinners ; but [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty do not suffer this sense of [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty personal vileness to daunt [me]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty . [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty know [[my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty Leader]7418-my leader : that [He]7418-my leader is just as well as mighty ; and while [He]7418-my leader has chosen a feeble instrument to perform a great task , [He]7418-my leader will , from the boundless stores of [His]7418-my leader providence , supply the inadequacy of the means to the end . Think like [me]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , [Jane]146-jane - trust like [me]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty . It is [the Rock of Ages]7419-the rock of ages [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty ask [you]146-jane to lean on : do not doubt but it will bear the weight of [your]146-jane human weakness . "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] " [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty do not understand a missionary life : [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty have never studied missionary labours . "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] " There [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , humble as [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty am , can give [you]146-jane the aid [you]146-jane want : [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty can set [you]146-jane [your]146-jane task from hour to hour ; stand by [you]146-jane always ; help [you]146-jane from moment to moment . This [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty could do in the beginning : soon for [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty know [your]146-jane powers [you]146-jane would be as strong and apt as [myself]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty , and would not require [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty help . "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] " But [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty powers - where are they for this undertaking ? [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty do not feel them . Nothing speaks or stirs in [me]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty while [you]146-jane talk . [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty am sensible of no light kindling - no life quickening - no voice counselling or cheering . Oh , [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty wish [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty could make [you]146-jane see how much [my]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty mind is at this moment like a rayless dungeon , with one shrinking fear fettered in its depths - the fear of being persuaded by [you]146-jane to attempt what [I]3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty can not accomplish ! "[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty] " [I]0-i have an answer for [you]146-jane - hear it . [I]0-i have watched [you]146-jane ever since [we]7420-we first met : [I]0-i have made [you]146-jane [my]0-i study for ten months . [I]0-i have proved [you]146-jane in that time by sundry tests : and what have [I]0-i seen and elicited ? In [the village school]7096-the village school [I]0-i found [you]146-jane could perform well , punctually , uprightly , labour uncongenial to [your]146-jane habits and inclinations ; [I]0-i saw [you]146-jane could perform it with capacity and tact : [you]146-jane could win while [you]146-jane controlled . In the calm with which [you]146-jane learnt [you]146-jane had become suddenly rich , [I]0-i read a mind clear of the vice of Demas:- lucre had no undue power over [you]146-jane . In the resolute readiness with which [you]146-jane cut [your]146-jane wealth into four shares , keeping but one to [yourself]146-jane , and relinquishing the three others to the claim of abstract justice , [I]0-i recognised [a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of sacrifice]7422-a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of sacrifice . In the tractability with which , at [my]0-i wish , [you]146-jane forsook a study in which [you]146-jane were interested , and adopted another because it interested [me]0-i ; in the untiring assiduity with which [you]146-jane have since persevered in it - in the unflagging energy and unshaken temper with which [you]146-jane have met its difficulties - [I]0-i acknowledge the complement of the qualities [I]0-i seek . [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane are docile , diligent , disinterested , faithful , constant , and courageous ; very gentle , and very heroic : cease to mistrust [yourself]146-jane - [I]0-i can trust [you]146-jane unreservedly . As [a conductress of Indian schools]7423-a conductress of indian schools , and [a helper amongst [Indian women]7425-indian women]7424-a helper amongst indian women , [your]146-jane assistance will be to [me]0-i invaluable . "[0-i] [My]0-i iron shroud contracted round [me]0-i ; persuasion advanced with slow sure step . Shut [my]0-i eyes as [I]0-i would , these last words of [his]3873-he succeeded in making the way , which had seemed blocked up , comparatively clear . [My]0-i work , which had appeared so vague , so hopelessly diffuse , condensed itself as [he]3873-he proceeded , and assumed a definite form under [his]3873-he shaping hand . [He]3873-he waited for an answer . [I]0-i demanded a quarter of an hour to think , before [I]0-i again hazarded a reply . " Very willingly , "[3873-he] [he]3873-he rejoined ; and rising , [he]3873-he strode a little distance up the pass , threw [himself]3873-he down on a swell of heath , and there lay still . " [I]0-i CAN do what [he]3873-he wants [me]0-i to do : [I]0-i am forced to see and acknowledge that , "[0-i] [I]0-i meditated , - " that is , if life be spared [me]0-i . But [I]0-i feel [mine]0-i is not the existence to be long protracted under an Indian sun . What then ? [He]3873-he does not care for that : when [my]0-i time came to die , [he]3873-he would resign [me]0-i , in all serenity and sanctity , to [the God who gave [me]0-i]7426-the god who gave me . The case is very plain before [me]0-i . In leaving [England]21-england , [I]0-i should leave [a loved but empty land]7427-a loved but empty land - [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester is not [there]4426-there ; and if [he]251-mr. rochester were , what is , what can that ever be to [me]0-i ? [My]0-i business is to live without [him]251-mr. rochester now : nothing so absurd , so weak as to drag on from day to day , as if [I]0-i were waiting some impossible change in circumstances , which might reunite [me]0-i to [him]251-mr. rochester . Of course as [St. John]177-st. john once said [I]0-i must seek another interest in life to replace the one lost : is not the occupation [he]177-st. john now offers [me]0-i truly [the most glorious man]7429-the most glorious man can adopt or God assign ? Is it not , by its noble cares and sublime results , the one best calculated to fill the void left by uptorn affections and demolished hopes ? [I]0-i believe [I]0-i must say , Yes - and yet [I]0-i shudder . Alas ! If [I]0-i join [St. John]177-st. john , [I]0-i abandon half [myself]0-i : if [I]0-i go to [India]63-india , [I]0-i go to premature death . And how will the interval between leaving [England]21-england for [India]63-india , and [India]63-india for the grave , be filled ? Oh , [I]0-i know well ! That , too , is very clear to [my]0-i vision . By straining to satisfy [St. John]177-st. john till [my]0-i sinews ache , [I]0-i SHALL satisfy [him]177-st. john - to the finest central point and farthest outward circle of [his]177-st. john expectations . If [I]0-i DO go with [him]177-st. john - if [I]0-i DO make the sacrifice [he]177-st. john urges , [I]0-i will make it absolutely : [I]0-i will throw all on the altar - heart , vitals , [the entire victim]7430-the entire victim . [He]177-st. john will never love [me]0-i ; but [he]177-st. john shall approve [me]0-i ; [I]0-i will show [him]177-st. john energies [he]177-st. john has not yet seen , resources [he]177-st. john has never suspected . Yes , [I]0-i can work as hard as [he]177-st. john can , and with as little grudging . "[0-i] Consent , then , to [his]3874-his demand is possible : but for one item - one dreadful item . It is - that [he]3874-his asks [me]0-i to be [[his]3874-his wife]4986-his wife , and has no more of [a husband]6186-a husband 's heart for [me]0-i than that frowning giant of a rock , down which [the stream]960-the stream is foaming in [yonder gorge]3878-yonder gorge . [He]3874-his prizes [me]0-i as [a soldier]7138-a soldier would a good weapon ; and that is all . Unmarried to [him]3874-his , this would never grieve [me]0-i ; but can [I]0-i let [him]3874-his complete [his]3874-his calculations - coolly put into practice [his]3874-his plans - go through the wedding ceremony ? Can [I]0-i receive from [him]3874-his the bridal ring , endure all the forms of love which [I]0-i doubt not [he]3874-his would scrupulously observe and know that the spirit was quite absent ? Can [I]0-i bear the consciousness that every endearment [he]3874-his bestows is a sacrifice made on principle ? No : such a martyrdom would be monstrous . [I]0-i will never undergo it . As [[his]3874-his sister]5987-his sister , [I]0-i might accompany [him]3874-his - not as [[his]3874-his wife]4986-his wife : [I]0-i will tell [him]3874-his so . " [I]0-i looked towards [the knoll]7431-the knoll : there [he]3874-his lay , still as a prostrate column ; [his]3874-his face turned to [me]0-i : [his]3874-his eye beaming watchful and keen . [He]3874-his started to [his]3874-his feet and approached [me]0-i . "[0-i] [I]0-i am ready to go to [India]63-india , if [I]0-i may go free . " "[0-i] [Your]0-i answer requires a commentary , " [he]3874-his said ; "[0-i] it is not clear . " "[0-i] [You]0-i have hitherto been [[my]0-i adopted brother]3882-my adopted brother - [I]0-i , [[your]0-i adopted sister]3883-your adopted sister : let [us]3884-we continue as such : [you]0-i and [I]0-i had better not marry . " [He]3874-his shook [his]3874-his head . "[3885-adopted fraternity] [Adopted fraternity]3885-adopted fraternity will not do in this case . If [you]0-i were [[my]0-i real sister]3886-my real sister it would be different : [I]0-i should take [you]0-i , and seek [no wife]3887-no wife . But as it is , either [our]3884-we union must be consecrated and sealed by marriage , or it can not exist : practical obstacles oppose [themselves]3888-themselves to any other plan . Do [you]0-i not see it , [Jane]146-jane ? Consider a moment - [your]0-i strong sense will guide [you]0-i . " [I]177-st. john did consider ; and still [my]177-st. john sense , such as it was , directed [me]177-st. john only to the fact that [we]3884-we did not love [each other]724-each other as [man]4667-man and [wife]7434-wife should : and therefore it inferred [we]3884-we ought not to marry . [I]177-st. john said so . "[177-st. john] [St. John]177-st. john , " [I]177-st. john returned , "[177-st. john] [I]0-i regard [you]177-st. john as [a brother]5331-a brother - [you]177-st. john , [me]0-i as [a sister]3890-a sister : so let [us]3891-we continue . " "[3891-we] [We]3891-we can not - [we]3891-we can not , " [he]177-st. john answered , with short , sharp determination : "[3891-we] it would not do . [You]177-st. john have said [you]177-st. john will go with [me]0-i to [India]63-india : remember - [you]177-st. john have said that . " "[177-st. john] Conditionally . " "[177-st. john] Well - well . To the main point - the departure with [me]0-i from [England]21-england , the co - operation with [me]0-i in [my]0-i future labours - [you]177-st. john do not object . [You]177-st. john have already as good as put [your]177-st. john hand to the plough : [you]177-st. john are too consistent to withdraw it . [You]177-st. john have but one end to keep in view - how the work [you]177-st. john have undertaken can best be done . Simplify [your]177-st. john complicated interests , feelings , thoughts , wishes , aims ; merge all considerations in one purpose : that of fulfilling with effect - with power - the mission of [[your]177-st. john great Master]3892-your great master . To do so , [you]177-st. john must have [a coadjutor]3893-a coadjutor : [not a brother]3894-not a brother - that is a loose tie - but [a husband]6186-a husband . [I]0-i , too , do not want [a sister]3890-a sister : [a sister]3890-a sister might any day be taken from [me]0-i . [I]0-i want [a wife]5665-a wife : the sole helpmeet [I]0-i can influence efficiently in life , and retain absolutely till death . " [I]5665-a wife shuddered as [he]0-i spoke : [I]5665-a wife felt [his]0-i influence in [my]5665-a wife marrow - [his]0-i hold on [my]5665-a wife limbs . "[5665-a wife] Seek one elsewhere than in [me]0-i , [St. John]177-st. john : seek one fitted to [you]177-st. john . " "[177-st. john] One fitted to [my]0-i purpose , [you]177-st. john mean - fitted to [my]0-i vocation . Again [I]0-i tell [you]177-st. john it is not [the insignificant private individual]3899-the insignificant private individual - [the mere man]3900-the mere man , with [the man]1375-the man 's selfish senses - [I]0-i wish to mate : it is [the missionary]3902-the missionary . " "[3902-the missionary] And [I]0-i will give [the missionary]3902-the missionary [my]0-i energies - it is all [he]3902-the missionary wants - but not [myself]0-i : that would be only adding the husk and shell to the kernel . For [them]3904-them [he]3902-the missionary has no use : [I]0-i retain them . " "[0-i] [You]177-st. john can not - [you]177-st. john ought not . Do [you]177-st. john think [God]180-mrs. fairfax will be satisfied with half an oblation ? Will [He]3902-the missionary accept a mutilated sacrifice ? It is the cause of [God]180-mrs. fairfax [I]0-i advocate : it is under [His]3902-the missionary standard [I]0-i enlist [you]177-st. john . [I]0-i can not accept on [His]3902-the missionary behalf a divided allegiance : it must be entire . " "[0-i] Oh ! [I]0-i will give [my]0-i heart to [God]180-mrs. fairfax , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] [YOU]177-st. john do not want it . " [I]3905-i will not swear , [reader]496-reader , that there was not something of repressed sarcasm both in the tone in which [I]3905-i uttered this sentence , and in the feeling that accompanied it . [I]3905-i had silently feared [St. John]177-st. john till now , because [I]3905-i had not understood [him]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john had held [me]3905-i in awe , because [he]177-st. john had held [me]3905-i in doubt . How much of [him]177-st. john was [saint]7436-saint , how much mortal , [I]3905-i could not heretofore tell : but revelations were being made in this conference : the analysis of [his]177-st. john nature was proceeding before [my]3905-i eyes . [I]3905-i saw [his]177-st. john fallibilities : [I]3905-i comprehended them . [I]3905-i understood that , sitting there where [I]3905-i did , on [the bank of heath]7437-the bank of heath , and with that handsome form before [me]3905-i , [I]3905-i sat at the feet of [a man]4429-a man , caring as [I.]3905-i The veil fell from [his]177-st. john hardness and despotism . Having felt in [him]177-st. john the presence of these qualities , [I]3905-i felt [his]177-st. john imperfection and took courage . [I]3905-i was with [an equal]7439-an equal - one with whom [I]3905-i might argue - one whom , if [I]3905-i saw good , [I]3905-i might resist . [He]177-st. john was silent after [I]3905-i had uttered the last sentence , and [I]3905-i presently risked an upward glance at [his]177-st. john countenance . [His]177-st. john eye , bent on [me]3905-i , expressed at once stern surprise and keen inquiry . "[3905-i] Is [she]3905-i sarcastic , and sarcastic to [ME]0-i ! " it seemed to say . "[3905-i] What does this signify ? " "[3905-i] Do not let [us]3906-us forget that this is a solemn matter , " [he]177-st. john said ere long ; "[0-i] one of which [we]3906-us may neither think nor talk lightly without sin . [I]0-i trust , [Jane]146-jane , [you]146-jane are in earnest when [you]146-jane say [you]146-jane will serve [your]146-jane heart to [God]180-mrs. fairfax : it is all [I]0-i want . Once wrench [your]146-jane heart from [man]4667-man , and fix it on [[your]146-jane Maker]3908-your maker , the advancement of [that Maker 's spiritual kingdom on [earth]478-earth]3909-that maker 's spiritual kingdom on earth will be [your]146-jane chief delight and endeavour ; [you]146-jane will be ready to do at once whatever furthers that end . [You]146-jane will see what impetus would be given to [your]146-jane efforts and [mine]3911-mine by [our]3906-us physical and mental union in marriage : the only union that gives a character of permanent conformity to the destinies and designs of [human beings]754-human beings ; and , passing over all minor caprices - all trivial difficulties and delicacies of feeling - all scruple about the degree , kind , strength or tenderness of mere personal inclination - [you]146-jane will hasten to enter into that union at once . " "[0-i] Shall [I]0-i ? " [I]0-i said briefly ; and [I]0-i looked at [his]0-i features , beautiful in their harmony , but strangely formidable in their still severity ; at [his]0-i brow , commanding but not open ; at [his]0-i eyes , bright and deep and searching , but never soft ; at [his]0-i tall imposing figure ; and fancied [myself]0-i in idea [[HIS]0-i WIFE]4986-his wife . Oh ! it would never do ! As [[his]0-i curate]7441-his curate , [[his]0-i comrade]7442-his comrade , all would be right : [I]0-i would cross [oceans]7443-oceans with [him]0-i in that capacity ; toil under Eastern suns , in [Asian deserts]7444-asian deserts with [him]0-i in [that office]7104-that office ; admire and emulate [his]0-i courage and devotion and vigour ; accommodate quietly to [his]0-i masterhood ; smile undisturbed at [his]0-i ineradicable ambition ; discriminate [the Christian]7446-the christian from [the man]1375-the man : profoundly esteem [the one]5908-the one , and freely forgive the other . [I]0-i should suffer often , no doubt , attached to [him]0-i only in this capacity : [my]0-i body would be under rather a stringent yoke , but [my]0-i heart and mind would be free . [I]0-i should still have [my]0-i unblighted self to turn to : [my]0-i natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness . There would be recesses in [my]0-i mind which would be only mine , to which [he]0-i never came , and sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered which [his]0-i austerity could never blight , nor [his]0-i measured warrior - march trample down : but as [[his]0-i wife]4986-his wife - at [his]0-i side always , and always restrained , and always checked - forced to keep the fire of [my]0-i nature continually low , to compel it to burn inwardly and never utter a cry , though the imprisoned flame consumed vital after vital - THIS would be unendurable . "[0-i] [St. John]177-st. john ! " [I]177-st. john exclaimed , when [I]177-st. john had got so far in [my]177-st. john meditation . "[177-st. john] Well ? " [he]0-i answered icily . "[0-i] [I]0-i repeat [I]0-i freely consent to go with [you]177-st. john as [[your]177-st. john fellow - missionary]3913-your fellow - missionary , but not as [[your]177-st. john wife]6190-your wife ; [I]0-i can not marry [you]177-st. john and become part of [you]177-st. john . " "[0-i] A part of [me]0-i [you]177-st. john must become , " [he]0-i answered steadily ; "[0-i] otherwise the whole bargain is void . How can [I]0-i , [a man not yet thirty]3915-a man not yet thirty , take out with [me]0-i to [India]63-india [a girl of nineteen]3916-a girl of nineteen , unless [she]3916-a girl of nineteen be married to [me]0-i ? How can [we]3917-we be for ever together - sometimes in [solitudes]3918-solitudes , sometimes amidst [savage tribes]4658-savage tribes - and unwed ? " "[3920-your real sister] Very well , " [I]3920-your real sister said shortly ; "[3920-your real sister] under the circumstances , quite as well as if [I]0-i were either [[your]177-st. john real sister]3920-your real sister , or [a man]4429-a man and [a clergyman like [yourself]177-st. john]3922-a clergyman like yourself . " "[177-st. john] It is known that [you]177-st. john are not [[my]0-i sister]6518-my sister ; [I]0-i can not introduce [you]177-st. john as such : to attempt it would be to fasten injurious suspicions on [us]3917-we both . And for the rest , though [you]177-st. john have [a man]4429-a man 's vigorous brain , [you]177-st. john have [a woman]4399-a woman 's heart and - it would not do . " "[4399-a woman] It would do , " [I]4399-a woman affirmed with some disdain , "[4399-a woman] perfectly well . [I]0-i have [a woman]4399-a woman 's heart , but not where [you]177-st. john are concerned ; for [you]177-st. john [I]0-i have only [a comrade]2860-a comrade 's constancy ; [a fellow - soldier]3928-a fellow - soldier 's frankness , fidelity , fraternity , if [you]177-st. john like ; [a neophyte]3929-a neophyte 's respect and submission to [his]3929-a neophyte hierophant : nothing more - do n't fear . " "[177-st. john] It is what [I]0-i want , " [he]0-i said , speaking to [himself]0-i ; "[177-st. john] it is just what [I]0-i want . And there are obstacles in the way : they must be hewn down . [Jane]146-jane , [you]177-st. john would not repent marrying [me]0-i - be certain of that ; [we]3930-we MUST be married . [I]0-i repeat it : there is no other way ; and undoubtedly enough of love would follow upon marriage to render the union right even in [your]177-st. john eyes . " "[0-i] [I]0-i scorn [your]0-i idea of love , " [I]0-i could not help saying , as [I]0-i rose up and stood before [him]0-i , leaning [my]0-i back against the rock . "[0-i] [I]0-i scorn the counterfeit sentiment [you]0-i offer : yes , [St. John]177-st. john , and [I]0-i scorn [you]0-i when [you]0-i offer it . " [He]0-i looked at [me]0-i fixedly , compressing [his]0-i well - cut lips while [he]0-i did so . Whether [he]0-i was incensed or surprised , or what , it was not easy to tell : [he]0-i could command [his]0-i countenance thoroughly . "[0-i] [I]0-i scarcely expected to hear that expression from [you]0-i , " [he]0-i said : "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i have done and uttered nothing to deserve scorn . " [I]0-i was touched by [his]0-i gentle tone , and overawed by [his]0-i high , calm mien . "[0-i] Forgive [me]0-i the words , [St. John]177-st. john ; but it is [your]0-i own fault that [I]0-i have been roused to speak so unguardedly . [You]0-i have introduced a topic on which [our]3931-we natures are at variance - a topic [we]3931-we should never discuss : the very name of love is an apple of discord between [us]3931-we . If the reality were required , what should [we]3931-we do ? How should [we]3931-we feel ? [[My]0-i dear cousin]3932-my dear cousin , abandon [your]0-i scheme of marriage - forget it . " "[0-i] No , " said [he]0-i ; "[0-i] it is a long - cherished scheme , and the only one which can secure [my]0-i great end : but [I]0-i shall urge [you]0-i no further at present . To - morrow , [I]0-i leave [home]509-home for [Cambridge]136-cambridge : [I]0-i have [many friends there to whom [I]0-i should wish to say farewell]3934-many friends there to whom i should wish to say farewell . [I]0-i shall be absent a fortnight - take that space of time to consider [my]0-i offer : and do not forget that if [you]0-i reject it , it is not [me]0-i [you]0-i deny , but [God]180-mrs. fairfax . Through [my]0-i means , [He]0-i opens to [you]0-i a noble career ; as [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife only can [you]0-i enter upon it . Refuse to be [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife , and [you]0-i limit [yourself]0-i for ever to a track of selfish ease and barren obscurity . Tremble lest in that case [you]0-i should be numbered with [those who have denied the faith]3937-those who have denied the faith , and are worse than [infidels]3938-infidels ! " [He]0-i had done . Turning from [me]3939-hill , [he]0-i once more "[3939-hill] Looked to river , looked to [hill]3939-hill . " But this time [his]0-i feelings were all pent in [his]0-i heart : [I]3939-hill was not worthy to hear [them]7450-them uttered . As [I]3939-hill walked by [his]0-i side homeward , [I]3939-hill read well in [his]0-i iron silence all [he]0-i felt towards [me]3939-hill : the disappointment of an austere and despotic nature , which has met resistance where it expected submission - the disapprobation of a cool , inflexible judgment , which has detected in another feelings and views in which it has no power to sympathise : in short , as [a man]4429-a man , [he]0-i would have wished to coerce [me]3939-hill into obedience : it was only as [a sincere Christian]7452-a sincere christian [he]0-i bore so patiently with [my]3939-hill perversity , and allowed so long a space for reflection and repentance . That night , after [he]0-i had kissed [[his]0-i sisters]4311-his sisters , [he]0-i thought proper to forget even to shake hands with [me]3939-hill , but left [the room]535-the room in silence . [I]3939-hill - who , though [I]3939-hill had no love , had much friendship for [him]177-st. john - was hurt by the marked omission : so much hurt that tears started to [my]3939-hill eyes . "[3939-hill] [I]0-i see [you]3940-you and [St. John]177-st. john have been quarrelling , [Jane]146-jane , " said [Diana]400-diana , "[146-jane] during [your]3940-you walk on [the moor]5303-the moor . But go after [him]177-st. john ; [he]177-st. john is now lingering in [the passage]4815-the passage expecting [you]3940-you - [he]177-st. john will make it up . " [I]177-st. john have not much pride under such circumstances : [I]177-st. john would always rather be happy than dignified ; and [I]177-st. john ran after [him]177-st. john - [he]177-st. john stood at the foot of the stairs . "[177-st. john] Good - night , [St. John]177-st. john , " said [I.]177-st. john "[177-st. john] Good - night , [Jane]146-jane , " [he]177-st. john replied calmly . "[146-jane] Then shake hands , " [I]177-st. john added . What a cold , loose touch , [he]177-st. john impressed on [my]177-st. john fingers ! [He]177-st. john was deeply displeased by what had occurred that day ; cordiality would not warm , nor tears move [him]177-st. john . No happy reconciliation was to be had with [him]177-st. john - no cheering smile or generous word : but still [the Christian]7446-the christian was patient and placid ; and when [I]177-st. john asked [him]177-st. john if [he]177-st. john forgave [me]177-st. john , [he]177-st. john answered that [he]177-st. john was not in the habit of cherishing the remembrance of vexation ; that [he]177-st. john had nothing to forgive , not having been offended . And with that answer [he]177-st. john left [me]177-st. john . [I]177-st. john would much rather [he]177-st. john had knocked [me]177-st. john down . CHAPTER XXXV [He]177-st. john did not leave for [Cambridge]136-cambridge the next day , as [he]177-st. john had said [he]177-st. john would . [He]177-st. john deferred [his]177-st. john departure a whole week , and during that time [he]177-st. john made [me]177-st. john feel what severe punishment [a good yet stern , a conscientious yet implacable man]7456-a good yet stern , a conscientious yet implacable man can inflict on one who has offended [him]177-st. john . Without one overt act of hostility , one upbraiding word , [he]177-st. john contrived to impress [me]177-st. john momently with the conviction that [I]177-st. john was put beyond the pale of [his]177-st. john favour . Not that [St. John]177-st. john harboured a spirit of unchristian vindictiveness - not that [he]177-st. john would have injured a hair of [my]177-st. john head , if it had been fully in [his]177-st. john power to do so . Both by nature and principle , [he]177-st. john was superior to the mean gratification of vengeance : [he]177-st. john had forgiven [me]177-st. john for saying [I]177-st. john scorned [him]177-st. john and [his]177-st. john love , but [he]177-st. john had not forgotten the words ; and as long as [he]177-st. john and [I]177-st. john lived [he]177-st. john never would forget them . [I]177-st. john saw by [his]177-st. john look , when [he]177-st. john turned to [me]177-st. john , that they were always written on the air between [me]177-st. john and [him]177-st. john ; whenever [I]177-st. john spoke , they sounded in [my]177-st. john voice to [his]177-st. john ear , and their echo toned every answer [he]177-st. john gave [me]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john did not abstain from conversing with [me]177-st. john : [he]177-st. john even called [me]177-st. john as usual each morning to join [him]177-st. john at [his]177-st. john desk ; and [I]177-st. john fear [the corrupt man within [him]177-st. john]7457-the corrupt man within him had a pleasure unimparted to , and unshared by , [the pure Christian]7458-the pure christian , in evincing with what skill [he]177-st. john could , while acting and speaking apparently just as usual , extract from every deed and every phrase the spirit of interest and approval which had formerly communicated a certain austere charm to [his]177-st. john language and manner . To [me]177-st. john , [he]177-st. john was in reality become no longer flesh , but marble ; [his]177-st. john eye was a cold , bright , blue gem ; [his]177-st. john tongue a speaking instrument - nothing more . All this was torture to [me]177-st. john - refined , lingering torture . It kept up a slow fire of indignation and a trembling trouble of grief , which harassed and crushed [me]177-st. john altogether . [I]177-st. john felt how - if [I]177-st. john were [[his]177-st. john wife]4986-his wife , [this good man]7460-this good man , pure as the deep sunless source , could soon kill [me]177-st. john , without drawing from [my]177-st. john veins a single drop of blood , or receiving on [his]177-st. john own crystal conscience the faintest stain of crime . Especially [I]177-st. john felt this when [I]177-st. john made any attempt to propitiate [him]177-st. john . [No ruth]7461-no ruth met [[my]177-st. john ruth]7462-my ruth . [HE]177-st. john experienced no suffering from estrangement - no yearning after reconciliation ; and though , more than once , [my]177-st. john fast falling tears blistered the page over which [we]7463-we both bent , they produced no more effect on [him]177-st. john than if [his]177-st. john heart had been really a matter of stone or metal . To [[his]177-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters , meantime , [he]177-st. john was somewhat kinder than usual : as if afraid that mere coldness would not sufficiently convince [me]177-st. john how completely [I]177-st. john was banished and banned , [he]177-st. john added the force of contrast ; and this [I]177-st. john am sure [he]177-st. john did not by force , but on principle . The night before [he]177-st. john left [home]509-home , happening to see [him]177-st. john walking in [the garden]4568-the garden about sunset , and remembering , as [I]177-st. john looked at [him]177-st. john , that [this man]495-this man , alienated as [he]177-st. john now was , had once saved [my]177-st. john life , and that [we]7468-we were near [relations]7469-relations , [I]177-st. john was moved to make a last attempt to regain [his]177-st. john friendship . [I]177-st. john went out and approached [him]177-st. john as [he]177-st. john stood leaning over the little gate ; [I]177-st. john spoke to the point at once . "[177-st. john] [St. John]177-st. john , [I]0-i am unhappy because [you]177-st. john are still angry with [me]0-i . Let [us]3943-we be [friends]1114-friends . " "[0-i] [I]0-i hope [we]3943-we are [friends]1114-friends , " was the unmoved reply ; while [he]177-st. john still watched the rising of the moon , which [he]177-st. john had been contemplating as [I]0-i approached . "[0-i] No , [St. John]177-st. john , [we]3943-we are not [friends]1114-friends as [we]3943-we were . [You]177-st. john know that . " "[177-st. john] Are [we]3943-we not ? That is wrong . For [my]0-i part , [I]0-i wish [you]177-st. john no ill and all good . " "[0-i] [I]0-i believe [you]177-st. john , [St. John]177-st. john ; for [I]0-i am sure [you]177-st. john are incapable of wishing [any one]591-any one ill ; but , as [I]0-i am [[your]177-st. john kinswoman]3948-your kinswoman , [I]0-i should desire somewhat more of affection than that sort of general philanthropy [you]177-st. john extend to [mere strangers]7297-mere strangers . " "[177-st. john] Of course , " [he]177-st. john said . "[177-st. john] [Your]177-st. john wish is reasonable , and [I]0-i am far from regarding [you]177-st. john as [a stranger]799-a stranger . " This , spoken in a cool , tranquil tone , was mortifying and baffling enough . Had [I]0-i attended to the suggestions of pride and ire , [I]0-i should immediately have left [him]177-st. john ; but something worked within [me]0-i more strongly than those feelings could . [I]0-i deeply venerated [[my]0-i cousin]7470-my cousin 's talent and principle . [His]177-st. john friendship was of value to [me]0-i : to lose it tried [me]0-i severely . [I]0-i would not so soon relinquish the attempt to reconquer it . "[0-i] Must [we]3951-we part in this way , [St. John]177-st. john ? And when [you]177-st. john go to [India]63-india , will [you]177-st. john leave [me]0-i so , without a kinder word than [you]177-st. john have yet spoken ? " [He]0-i now turned quite from the moon and faced [me]177-st. john . "[177-st. john] When [I]0-i go to [India]63-india , [Jane]146-jane , will [I]0-i leave [you]146-jane ! What ! do [you]177-st. john not go to [India]63-india ? " "[177-st. john] [You]177-st. john said [I]0-i could not unless [I]0-i married [you]177-st. john . " "[177-st. john] And [you]177-st. john will not marry [me]0-i ! [You]177-st. john adhere to that resolution ? " [Reader]387-reader , do [you]177-st. john know , as [I]177-st. john do , what terror [those cold people]7471-those cold people can put into the ice of [their]7471-those cold people questions ? How much of the fall of the avalanche is in [their]7471-those cold people anger ? of the breaking up of [the frozen sea]7472-the frozen sea in [their]7471-those cold people displeasure ? "[177-st. john] No . [St. John]177-st. john , [I]0-i will not marry [you]177-st. john . [I]0-i adhere to [my]0-i resolution . " The avalanche had shaken and slid a little forward , but it did not yet crash down . "[0-i] Once more , why this refusal ? " [he]177-st. john asked . "[0-i] Formerly , " [I]0-i answered , "[0-i] because [you]177-st. john did not love [me]0-i ; now , [I]0-i reply , because [you]177-st. john almost hate [me]0-i . If [I]0-i were to marry [you]177-st. john , [you]177-st. john would kill [me]0-i . [You]177-st. john are killing [me]0-i now . " [His]177-st. john lips and cheeks turned white - quite white . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i SHOULD KILL [YOU]177-st. john - [I]0-i AM KILLING [YOU]177-st. john ? [Your]177-st. john words are such as ought not to be used : violent , unfeminine , and untrue . They betray an unfortunate state of mind : [they]3952-they merit severe reproof : they would seem inexcusable , but that it is the duty of [man]4667-man to forgive [[his]4667-man fellow]3954-his fellow even until seventy - and - seven times . " [I]177-st. john had finished the business now . While earnestly wishing to erase from [his]177-st. john mind the trace of [my]177-st. john former offence , [I]177-st. john had stamped on that tenacious surface another and far deeper impression , [I]177-st. john had burnt it in . "[177-st. john] Now [you]177-st. john will indeed hate [me]0-i , " [I]177-st. john said . "[177-st. john] It is useless to attempt to conciliate [you]177-st. john : [I]0-i see [I]0-i have made [an eternal enemy of [you]177-st. john]3955-an eternal enemy of you . " A fresh wrong did these words inflict : the worse , because they touched on the truth . That bloodless lip quivered to a temporary spasm . [I]177-st. john knew the steely ire [I]177-st. john had whetted . [I]177-st. john was heart - wrung . "[177-st. john] [You]177-st. john utterly misinterpret [my]0-i words , " [I]177-st. john said , at once seizing [his]177-st. john hand : "[177-st. john] [I]0-i have no intention to grieve or pain [you]177-st. john - indeed , [I]0-i have not . " Most bitterly [he]177-st. john smiled - most decidedly [he]177-st. john withdrew [his]177-st. john hand from [mine]177-st. john . "[0-i] And now [you]0-i recall [your]0-i promise , and will not go to [India]63-india at all , [I]0-i presume ? " said [he]177-st. john , after a considerable pause . "[0-i] Yes , [I]0-i will , as [[your]177-st. john assistant]3956-your assistant , " [I]0-i answered . A very long silence succeeded . What struggle there was in [him]177-st. john between Nature and [Grace]263-grace poole in this interval , [I]0-i can not tell : only singular gleams scintillated in [his]177-st. john eyes , and strange shadows passed over [his]177-st. john face . [He]177-st. john spoke at last . "[0-i] [I]0-i before proved to [you]0-i the absurdity of [a single woman of [your]0-i age]3957-a single woman of your age proposing to accompany abroad [a single man of mine]3958-a single man of mine . [I]0-i proved it to [you]0-i in such terms as , [I]0-i should have thought , would have prevented [your]0-i ever again alluding to the plan . That [you]0-i have done so , [I]0-i regret - for [your]0-i sake . " [I]177-st. john interrupted [him]0-i . Anything like a tangible reproach gave [me]177-st. john courage at once . "[177-st. john] Keep to common sense , [St. John]177-st. john : [you]0-i are verging on nonsense . [You]0-i pretend to be shocked by what [I]0-i have said . [You]0-i are not really shocked : for , with [your]0-i superior mind , [you]0-i can not be either so dull or so conceited as to misunderstand [my]0-i meaning . [I]0-i say again , [I]0-i will be [[your]0-i curate]3959-your curate , if [you]0-i like , but never [[your]0-i wife]6190-your wife . " Again [he]0-i turned lividly pale ; but , as before , controlled [his]0-i passion perfectly . [He]0-i answered emphatically but calmly - "[3961-a female curate] [A female curate]3961-a female curate , who is not [[my]0-i wife]2180-my wife , would never suit [me]0-i . With [me]0-i , then , it seems , [you]0-i can not go : but if [you]0-i are sincere in [your]0-i offer , [I]0-i will , while in [town]5534-town , speak to [a married missionary , whose wife]3964-a married missionary , whose wife needs [a coadjutor]3893-a coadjutor . [Your]0-i own fortune will make [you]0-i independent of [the Society]3966-the society 's aid ; and thus [you]0-i may still be spared the dishonour of breaking [your]0-i promise and deserting [the band [you]0-i engaged to join]3967-the band you engaged to join . " Now [I]0-i never had , as [the reader]947-the reader knows , either given any formal promise or entered into any engagement ; and this language was all much too hard and much too despotic for the occasion . [I]0-i replied - "[0-i] There is no dishonour , no breach of promise , no desertion in the case . [I]0-i am not under the slightest obligation to go to [India]63-india , especially with [strangers]1704-strangers . With [you]0-i [I]0-i would have ventured much , because [I]0-i admire , confide in , and , as [a sister]3890-a sister , [I]0-i love [you]0-i ; but [I]0-i am convinced that , go when and with whom [I]0-i would , [I]0-i should not live long in that climate . " "[0-i] Ah ! [you]0-i are afraid of [yourself]0-i , " [he]0-i said , curling [his]0-i lip . "[0-i] [I]0-i am . [God]180-mrs. fairfax did not give [me]0-i [my]0-i life to throw away ; and to do as [you]0-i wish [me]0-i would , [I]0-i begin to think , be almost equivalent to committing suicide . Moreover , before [I]0-i definitively resolve on quitting [England]21-england , [I]0-i will know for certain whether [I]0-i can not be of greater use by remaining in it than by leaving it . " "[0-i] What do [you]0-i mean ? " "[0-i] It would be fruitless to attempt to explain ; but there is a point on which [I]0-i have long endured painful doubt , and [I]0-i can go nowhere till by some means that doubt is removed . " "[0-i] [I]0-i know where [your]0-i heart turns and to what it clings . The interest [you]0-i cherish is lawless and unconsecrated . Long since [you]0-i ought to have crushed it : now [you]0-i should blush to allude to it . [You]0-i think of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? " It was true . [I]251-mr. rochester confessed it by silence . "[251-mr. rochester] Are [you]0-i going to seek [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i must find out what is become of [him]251-mr. rochester . " "[0-i] It remains for [me]0-i , then , " [he]0-i said , "[0-i] to remember [you]0-i in [my]0-i prayers , and to entreat [God]180-mrs. fairfax for [you]0-i , in all earnestness , that [you]0-i may not indeed become [a castaway]3970-a castaway . [I]0-i had thought [I]0-i recognised in [you]0-i one of the chosen . But [God]180-mrs. fairfax sees not as [man]4667-man sees : [HIS]4667-man will be done - " [He]0-i opened the gate , passed through [it]7474-it , and strayed away down [the glen]3847-the glen . [He]0-i was soon out of sight . On re - entering [the parlour]793-the parlour , [I]146-jane found [Diana]400-diana standing at the window , looking very thoughtful . [Diana]400-diana was a great deal taller than [I]146-jane : [she]400-diana put [her]400-diana hand on [my]146-jane shoulder , and , stooping , examined [my]146-jane face . "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane , " [she]400-diana said , "[146-jane] [you]146-jane are always agitated and pale now . [I]0-i am sure there is something the matter . Tell [me]0-i what business [St. John]177-st. john and [you]146-jane have on hands . [I]0-i have watched [you]146-jane this half hour from the window ; [you]146-jane must forgive [my]0-i being such [a spy]3972-a spy , but for a long time [I]0-i have fancied [I]0-i hardly know what . [St. John]177-st. john is [a strange being]3973-a strange being - " [She]7477-she paused - [I]3973-a strange being did not speak : soon [she]7477-she resumed - "[3973-a strange being] [That brother of mine]3974-that brother of mine cherishes peculiar views of some sort respecting [you]146-jane , [I]0-i am sure : [he]3974-that brother of mine has long distinguished [you]146-jane by a notice and interest [he]3974-that brother of mine never showed to [any one else]4384-any one else - to what end ? [I]0-i wish [he]3974-that brother of mine loved [you]146-jane - does [he]3974-that brother of mine , [Jane]146-jane ? " [I]3974-that brother of mine put [her]146-jane cool hand to [my]3974-that brother of mine hot forehead ; "[3974-that brother of mine] No , Die , not one whit . " "[3974-that brother of mine] Then why does [he]3974-that brother of mine follow [you]146-jane so with [his]3974-that brother of mine eyes , and get [you]146-jane so frequently alone with [him]3974-that brother of mine , and keep [you]146-jane so continually at [his]3974-that brother of mine side ? [Mary]233-mary and [I]0-i had both concluded [he]3974-that brother of mine wished [you]146-jane to marry [him]3974-that brother of mine . " "[3974-that brother of mine] [He]3974-that brother of mine does - [he]3974-that brother of mine has asked [me]0-i to be [[his]3974-that brother of mine wife]4986-his wife . " [Diana]400-diana clapped [her]400-diana hands . "[3974-that brother of mine] That is just what [we]3977-we hoped and thought ! And [you]146-jane will marry [him]3974-that brother of mine , [Jane]146-jane , wo n't [you]146-jane ? And then [he]3974-that brother of mine will stay in [England]21-england . " "[3974-that brother of mine] Far from that , [Diana]400-diana ; [his]3974-that brother of mine sole idea in proposing to [me]0-i is to procure [a fitting fellow - labourer in [his]3974-that brother of mine Indian toils]3978-a fitting fellow - labourer in his indian toils . " "[3974-that brother of mine] What ! [He]3974-that brother of mine wishes [you]146-jane to go to [India]63-india ? " "[3974-that brother of mine] Yes . " "[3974-that brother of mine] Madness ! " [she]400-diana exclaimed . "[3974-that brother of mine] [You]146-jane would not live three months there , [I]0-i am certain . [You]146-jane never shall go : [you]146-jane have not consented , have [you]146-jane , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] [I]0-i have refused to marry [him]3974-that brother of mine - " "[0-i] And have consequently displeased [him]3974-that brother of mine ? " [she]400-diana suggested . "[3974-that brother of mine] Deeply : [he]3974-that brother of mine will never forgive [me]0-i , [I]0-i fear : yet [I]0-i offered to accompany [him]3974-that brother of mine as [[his]3974-that brother of mine sister]5987-his sister . " "[0-i] It was frantic folly to do so , [Jane]146-jane . Think of the task [you]146-jane undertook - one of incessant fatigue , where fatigue kills even the strong , and [you]146-jane are weak . [St. John]177-st. john - [you]146-jane know [him]3974-that brother of mine - would urge [you]146-jane to impossibilities : with [him]3974-that brother of mine there would be no permission to rest during the hot hours ; and unfortunately , [I]0-i have noticed , whatever [he]3974-that brother of mine exacts , [you]146-jane force [yourself]146-jane to perform . [I]0-i am astonished [you]146-jane found courage to refuse [his]3974-that brother of mine hand . [You]146-jane do not love [him]3974-that brother of mine then , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] Not as [a husband]6186-a husband . " "[146-jane] Yet [he]3974-that brother of mine is [a handsome fellow]3981-a handsome fellow . " "[3974-that brother of mine] And [I]0-i am so plain , [you]146-jane see , [Die]419-die . [We]3982-we should never suit . " "[419-die] Plain ! [You]146-jane ? Not at all . [You]146-jane are much too pretty , as well as too good , to be grilled alive in [Calcutta]137-calcutta . " And again [she]146-jane earnestly conjured [me]0-i to give up all thoughts of going out with [[her]146-jane brother]6047-her brother . "[0-i] [I]0-i must indeed , " [I]0-i said ; "[0-i] for when just now [I]0-i repeated the offer of serving [him]3974-that brother of mine for [a deacon]3983-a deacon , [he]3974-that brother of mine expressed [himself]3974-that brother of mine shocked at [my]0-i want of decency . [He]3974-that brother of mine seemed to think [I]0-i had committed an impropriety in proposing to accompany [him]3974-that brother of mine unmarried : as if [I]0-i had not from the first hoped to find in [him]3974-that brother of mine [a brother]5331-a brother , and habitually regarded [him]3974-that brother of mine as such . " "[0-i] What makes [you]0-i say [he]3974-that brother of mine does not love [you]0-i , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[3974-that brother of mine] [You]146-jane should hear [himself]3974-that brother of mine on the subject . [He]3974-that brother of mine has again and again explained that it is not [himself]3974-that brother of mine , but [[his]3974-that brother of mine office]3985-his office [he]3974-that brother of mine wishes to mate . [He]3974-that brother of mine has told [me]0-i [I]0-i am formed for labour - not for love : which is true , no doubt . But , in [my]0-i opinion , if [I]0-i am not formed for love , it follows that [I]0-i am not formed for marriage . Would it not be strange , Die , to be chained for life to [a man who regarded one but as a useful tool]3986-a man who regarded one but as a useful tool ? " "[0-i] Insupportable - unnatural - out of the question ! " "[0-i] And then , " [I]0-i continued , "[0-i] though [I]0-i have only sisterly affection for [him]3974-that brother of mine now , yet , if forced to be [[his]3974-that brother of mine wife]4986-his wife , [I]0-i can imagine the possibility of conceiving an inevitable , strange , torturing kind of love for [him]3974-that brother of mine , because [he]3974-that brother of mine is so talented ; and there is often a certain heroic grandeur in [his]3974-that brother of mine look , manner , and conversation . In that case , [my]0-i lot would become unspeakably wretched . [He]3974-that brother of mine would not want [me]0-i to love [him]3974-that brother of mine ; and if [I]0-i showed the feeling , [he]3974-that brother of mine would make [me]0-i sensible that it was a superfluity , unrequired by [him]3974-that brother of mine , unbecoming in [me]0-i . [I]0-i know [he]3974-that brother of mine would . " "[3974-that brother of mine] And yet [St. John]177-st. john is [a good man]4605-a good man , " said [Diana]400-diana . "[4605-a good man] [He]177-st. john is [a good and a great man]3989-a good and a great man ; but [he]177-st. john forgets , pitilessly , the feelings and claims of [little people]3990-little people , in pursuing [his]177-st. john own large views . It is better , therefore , for [the insignificant]3991-the insignificant to keep out of [his]177-st. john way , lest , in [his]177-st. john progress , [he]177-st. john should trample [them]3991-the insignificant down . Here [he]177-st. john comes ! [I]0-i will leave [you]0-i , [Diana]400-diana . " And [I]3992-i hastened [upstairs]552-upstairs as [I]3992-i saw [him]177-st. john entering [the garden]4568-the garden . But [I]3992-i was forced to meet [him]177-st. john again at supper . During that meal [he]177-st. john appeared just as composed as usual . [I]3992-i had thought [he]177-st. john would hardly speak to [me]3992-i , and [I]3992-i was certain [he]177-st. john had given up the pursuit of [his]177-st. john matrimonial scheme : the sequel showed [I]3992-i was mistaken on both points . [He]177-st. john addressed [me]3992-i precisely in [his]177-st. john ordinary manner , or what had , of late , been [his]177-st. john ordinary manner - one scrupulously polite . No doubt [he]177-st. john had invoked the help of [the Holy Spirit]7481-the holy spirit to subdue the anger [I]3992-i had roused in [him]177-st. john , and now believed [he]177-st. john had forgiven [me]3992-i once more . For the evening reading before prayers , [he]177-st. john selected the twenty - first chapter of Revelation . It was at all times pleasant to listen while from [his]177-st. john lips fell the words of the Bible : never did [his]177-st. john fine voice sound at once so sweet and full - never did [his]177-st. john manner become so impressive in its noble simplicity , as when [he]177-st. john delivered the oracles of [God]180-mrs. fairfax : and to - night that voice took a more solemn tone - that manner a more thrilling meaning - as [he]177-st. john sat in the midst of [[his]177-st. john household]7482-his household circle the May moon shining in through the uncurtained window , and rendering almost unnecessary the light of the candle on the table : as [he]177-st. john sat there , bending over the great old Bible , and described from its page the vision of [the new heaven]7483-the new heaven and [the new earth]7484-the new earth - told how [God]180-mrs. fairfax would come to dwell with [men]482-men , how [He]177-st. john would wipe away all tears from [their]482-men eyes , and promised that there should be no more death , neither sorrow nor crying , nor any more pain , because the former things were passed away . The succeeding words thrilled [me]3992-i strangely as [he]177-st. john spoke them : especially as [I]3992-i felt , by the slight , indescribable alteration in sound , that in uttering them , [his]177-st. john eye had turned on [me]3992-i . "[3992-i] [He]3992-i that overcometh shall inherit all things ; and [I]0-i will be [[his]3992-i God]3993-his god , and [he]3992-i shall be [[my]0-i son]3994-my son . But , " was slowly , distinctly read , "[3995-their] the fearful , the unbelieving , c. , shall have [their]3995-their part in [the lake]4455-the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone , which is the second death . " Henceforward , [I]146-jane knew what fate [St. John]177-st. john feared for [me]146-jane . A calm , subdued triumph , blent with a longing earnestness , marked [his]177-st. john enunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter . [The reader]947-the reader believed [his]177-st. john name was already written in [the Lamb]443-the lamb 's book of life , and [he]177-st. john yearned after the hour which should admit [him]177-st. john to [the city to which [the kings of [the earth]663-the earth]7488-the kings of the earth bring [their]7488-the kings of the earth glory and honour ; which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it]7487-the city to which the kings of the earth bring their glory and honour ; which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it , because the glory of [God]180-mrs. fairfax lightens it , and [the Lamb]443-the lamb is the light thereof . In the prayer following the chapter , all [his]177-st. john energy gathered - all [his]177-st. john stern zeal woke : [he]177-st. john was in deep earnest , wrestling with [God]180-mrs. fairfax , and resolved on a conquest . [He]177-st. john supplicated strength for [the weak- hearted]7490-the weak- hearted ; guidance for [wanderers from the fold]7491-wanderers from the fold : a return , even at the eleventh hour , for [those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path]7492-those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path . [He]177-st. john asked , [he]177-st. john urged , [he]177-st. john claimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning . Earnestness is ever deeply solemn : first , as [I]146-jane listened to that prayer , [I]146-jane wondered at [his]177-st. john ; then , when it continued and rose , [I]146-jane was touched by it , and at last awed . [He]177-st. john felt the greatness and goodness of [his]177-st. john purpose so sincerely : others who heard [him]177-st. john plead for it , could not but feel it too . The prayer over , [we]7493-we took leave of [him]177-st. john : [he]177-st. john was to go at a very early hour in the morning . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary having kissed [him]177-st. john , left [the room]535-the room - in compliance , [I]146-jane think , with a whispered hint from [him]177-st. john : [I]146-jane tendered [my]146-jane hand , and wished [him]177-st. john a pleasant journey . "[146-jane] Thank [you]3997-you , [Jane]146-jane . As [I]0-i said , [I]0-i shall return from [Cambridge]136-cambridge in a fortnight : [that space]3998-that space , then , is yet left [you]3997-you for reflection . If [I]0-i listened to human pride , [I]0-i should say no more to [you]3997-you of marriage with [me]0-i ; but [I]0-i listen to [my]0-i duty , and keep steadily in view [my]0-i first aim - to do all things to the glory of [God]180-mrs. fairfax . [[My]0-i Master]4336-my master was long - suffering : so will [I]0-i be . [I]0-i can not give [you]3997-you up to perdition as a vessel of wrath : repent - resolve , while there is yet time . Remember , [we]4000-we are bid to work while it is day - warned that ' the night cometh when [no man]7112-no man shall work . ' Remember the fate of [Dives]444-dives , who had [his]444-dives good things in this life . [God]180-mrs. fairfax give [you]3997-you strength to choose that better part which shall not be taken from [you]3997-you ! " [He]0-i laid [his]0-i hand on [my]180-mrs. fairfax head as [he]0-i uttered the last words . [He]0-i had spoken earnestly , mildly : [his]0-i look was not , indeed , that of [a lover beholding [[his]0-i mistress]3030-his mistress]7495-a lover beholding his mistress , but it was that of [a pastor recalling [his]0-i wandering sheep]7497-a pastor recalling his wandering sheep - or better , of [a guardian angel watching the soul for which [he]0-i is responsible]7498-a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is responsible . [All men of talent]7499-all men of talent , whether [they]7499-all men of talent be [men of feeling or not]7500-men of feeling or not ; whether [they]7499-all men of talent be zealots , or [aspirants]7501-aspirants , or [despots]7502-despots - provided only [they]7499-all men of talent be sincere - have [their]7499-all men of talent sublime moments , when [they]7499-all men of talent subdue and rule . [I]180-mrs. fairfax felt veneration for [St. John]177-st. john - veneration so strong that its impetus thrust [me]180-mrs. fairfax at once to the point [I]180-mrs. fairfax had so long shunned . [I]180-mrs. fairfax was tempted to cease struggling with [him]177-st. john - to rush down the torrent of [his]177-st. john will into the gulf of [his]177-st. john existence , and there lose [my]180-mrs. fairfax own . [I]180-mrs. fairfax was almost as hard beset by [him]177-st. john now as [I]180-mrs. fairfax had been once before , in a different way , by another . [I]180-mrs. fairfax was [a fool]1546-a fool both times . To have yielded then would have been an error of principle ; to have yielded now would have been an error of judgment . So [I]180-mrs. fairfax think at this hour , when [I]180-mrs. fairfax look back to the crisis through the quiet medium of time : [I]180-mrs. fairfax was unconscious of folly at the instant . [I]180-mrs. fairfax stood motionless under [my]180-mrs. fairfax hierophant 's touch . [My]180-mrs. fairfax refusals were forgotten - [my]180-mrs. fairfax fears overcome - [my]180-mrs. fairfax wrestlings paralysed . The Impossible - [I.E.]180-mrs. fairfax , [my]180-mrs. fairfax marriage with [St. John]177-st. john - was fast becoming the Possible . All was changing utterly with a sudden sweep . Religion called - [Angels]445-angels beckoned - [God]180-mrs. fairfax commanded - life rolled together like a scroll - death 's gates opening , showed eternity beyond : it seemed , that for safety and bliss there , all here might be sacrificed in a second . [The dim room]7504-the dim room was full of visions . "[180-mrs. fairfax] Could [you]4002-i decide now ? " asked [the missionary]3902-the missionary . The inquiry was put in gentle tones : [he]177-st. john drew [me]4002-i to [him]177-st. john as gently . Oh , that gentleness ! how far more potent is it than force ! [I]4002-i could resist [St. John]177-st. john 's wrath : [I]4002-i grew pliant as a reed under [his]177-st. john kindness . Yet [I]4002-i knew all the time , if [I]4002-i yielded now , [I]4002-i should not the less be made to repent , some day , of [my]4002-i former rebellion . [His]177-st. john nature was not changed by one hour of solemn prayer : it was only elevated . "[4002-i] [I]0-i could decide if [I]0-i were but certain , " [I]0-i answered : "[0-i] were [I]0-i but convinced that it is [God]180-mrs. fairfax 's will [I]0-i should marry [you]4002-i , [I]0-i could vow to marry [you]4002-i here and now - come afterwards what would ! " "[0-i] [My]0-i prayers are heard ! " ejaculated [St. John]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john pressed [his]177-st. john hand firmer on [my]0-i head , as if [he]177-st. john claimed [me]0-i : [he]177-st. john surrounded [me]0-i with [his]177-st. john arm , ALMOST as if [he]177-st. john loved [me]0-i [I]0-i say ALMOST - [I]0-i knew the difference - for [I]0-i had felt what it was to be loved ; but , like [him]177-st. john , [I]0-i had now put love out of the question , and thought only of duty . [I]0-i contended with [my]0-i inward dimness of vision , before which clouds yet rolled . [I]0-i sincerely , deeply , fervently longed to do what was right ; and only that . "[0-i] Show [me]0-i , show [me]0-i the path ! " [I]0-i entreated of [Heaven]285-heaven . [I]0-i was excited more than [I]0-i had ever been ; and whether what followed was the effect of excitement [the reader]947-the reader shall judge . All [the house]4322-the house was still ; for [I]0-i believe all , except [St. John]177-st. john and [myself]0-i , were now retired to rest . The one candle was dying out : [the room]535-the room was full of moonlight . [My]0-i heart beat fast and thick : [I]0-i heard its throb . Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through , and passed at once to [my]0-i head and extremities . The feeling was not like an electric shock , but it was quite as sharp , as strange , as startling : it acted on [my]0-i senses as if [their]7509-they utmost activity hitherto had been but torpor , from which [they]7509-they were now summoned and forced to wake . [They]7509-they rose expectant : eye and ear waited while the flesh quivered on [my]0-i bones . "[0-i] What have [you]0-i heard ? What do [you]0-i see ? " asked [St. John]177-st. john . [I]146-jane saw nothing , but [I]146-jane heard a voice somewhere cry - "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! " - nothing more . "[146-jane] O [God]180-mrs. fairfax ! what is it ? " [I]146-jane gasped . [I]146-jane might have said , "[146-jane] Where is it ? " for it did not seem in [the room]535-the room - nor in [the house]4322-the house - nor in [the garden]4568-the garden ; it did not come out of the air - nor from under [the earth]663-the earth - nor from overhead . [I]146-jane had heard it - where , or whence , for ever impossible to know ! And it was the voice of [a human being]2921-a human being - [a known , loved , well - remembered voice]7515-a known , loved , well - remembered voice - that of [Edward Fairfax Rochester]377-edward fairfax rochester ; and it spoke in pain and woe , wildly , eerily , urgently . "[146-jane] [I]0-i am coming ! " [I]146-jane cried . "[146-jane] Wait for [me]0-i ! Oh , [I]0-i will come ! " [I]0-i flew to the door and looked into [the passage]4815-the passage : it was dark . [I]0-i ran out into [the garden]4568-the garden : it was void . "[0-i] Where are [you]0-i ? " [I]0-i exclaimed . [The hills beyond [Marsh Glen]132-marsh glen]7518-the hills beyond marsh glen sent the answer faintly back - "[0-i] Where are [you]0-i ? " [I]0-i listened . The wind sighed low in the firs : all was moorland loneliness and midnight hush . "[0-i] Down superstition ! " [I]0-i commented , as [that spectre]7519-that spectre rose up black by the black yew at the gate . "[0-i] This is not [thy]4003-thy deception , nor [thy]4003-thy witchcraft : it is the work of nature . [She]4004-i was roused , and did - no miracle - but [her]4004-i best . " [I]4004-i broke from [St. John]177-st. john , who had followed , and would have detained [me]4004-i . It was [MY]4004-i time to assume ascendency . [MY]4004-i powers were in play and in force . [I]4004-i told [him]177-st. john to forbear question or remark ; [I]4004-i desired [him]177-st. john to leave [me]4004-i : [I]4004-i must and would be alone . [He]177-st. john obeyed at once . Where there is energy to command well enough , obedience never fails . [I]4004-i mounted to [[my]4004-i chamber]1419-my chamber ; locked [myself]4004-i in ; fell on [my]4004-i knees ; and prayed in [my]4004-i way - a different way to [St. John]177-st. john 's , but effective in its own fashion . [I]4004-i seemed to penetrate very near a Mighty Spirit ; and [my]4004-i soul rushed out in gratitude at [His]177-st. john feet . [I]4004-i rose from the thanksgiving - took a resolve - and lay down , unscared , enlightened - eager but for the daylight . CHAPTER XXXVI The daylight came . [I]4004-i rose at dawn . [I]4004-i busied [myself]4004-i for an hour or two with arranging [my]4004-i things in [[my]4004-i chamber]1419-my chamber , drawers , and wardrobe , in the order wherein [I]4004-i should wish to leave them during a brief absence . Meantime , [I]4004-i heard [St. John]177-st. john quit [[his]177-st. john room]1844-his room . [He]177-st. john stopped at [my]4004-i door : [I]4004-i feared [he]177-st. john would knock - no , but a slip of paper was passed under the door . [I]4004-i took it up . It bore these words - "[4004-i] [You]4005-you left [me]0-i too suddenly last night . Had [you]4005-you stayed but a little longer , [you]4005-you would have laid [your]4005-you hand on the [Christian]418-christian 's cross and the angel 's crown . [I]0-i shall expect [your]4005-you clear decision when [I]0-i return this day fortnight . Meantime , watch and pray that [you]4005-you enter not into temptation : the spirit , [I]0-i trust , is willing , but the flesh , [I]0-i see , is weak . [I]0-i shall pray for [you]4005-you hourly . - [Yours]4005-you , [ST . JOHN]413-mr. st john . " "[4005-you] [My]0-i spirit , " [I]0-i answered mentally , "[0-i] is willing to do what is right ; and [my]0-i flesh , [I]0-i hope , is strong enough to accomplish the will of [Heaven]285-heaven , when once that will is distinctly known to [me]0-i . At any rate , it shall be strong enough to search - inquire - to grope an outlet from this cloud of doubt , and find the open day of certainty . " It was the first of June ; yet the morning was overcast and chilly : rain beat fast on [my]6085-cousin casement . [I]6085-cousin heard the front - door open , and [St. John]177-st. john pass out . Looking through the window , [I]6085-cousin saw [him]177-st. john traverse [the garden]4568-the garden . [He]177-st. john took the way over [the misty moors]7524-the misty moors in [the direction of [Whitcross]99-whitcross]7525-the direction of whitcross - there [he]177-st. john would meet [the coach]853-the coach . "[6085-cousin] In a few more hours [I]0-i shall succeed [you]413-mr. st john in [that track]4006-that track , [cousin]6085-cousin , " thought [I]6085-cousin : "[6085-cousin] [I]0-i too have [a coach]835-a coach to meet at [Whitcross]99-whitcross . [I]0-i too have some to see and ask after in [England]21-england , before [I]0-i depart for ever . " It wanted yet two hours of breakfast - time . [I]4009-i filled the interval in walking softly about [[my]4009-i room]4787-my room , and pondering the visitation which had given [my]4009-i plans their present bent . [I]4009-i recalled that inward sensation [I]4009-i had experienced : for [I]4009-i could recall it , with all its unspeakable strangeness . [I]4009-i recalled the voice [I]4009-i had heard ; again [I]4009-i questioned whence it came , as vainly as before : it seemed in [ME]4009-i - not in [the external world]7528-the external world . [I]4009-i asked was it a mere nervous impression - a delusion ? [I]4009-i could not conceive or believe : it was more like an inspiration . The wondrous shock of feeling had come like the earthquake which shook the foundations of [Paul]442-st. paul and [[Silas]446-silas 's prison]7529-silas 's prison ; it had opened the doors of [the soul 's cell]7530-the soul 's cell and loosed its bands - it had wakened [it]7530-the soul 's cell out of [its]7530-the soul 's cell sleep , whence it sprang trembling , listening , aghast ; then vibrated thrice a cry on [my]4009-i startled ear , and in [my]4009-i quaking heart and through [my]4009-i spirit , which neither feared nor shook , but exulted as if in joy over the success of one effort it had been privileged to make , independent of the cumbrous body . "[4009-i] Ere many days , " [I]4009-i said , as [I]4009-i terminated [my]4009-i musings , "[4009-i] [I]0-i will know something of [him]4009-i whose voice seemed last night to summon [me]0-i . [Letters]447-letters have proved of no avail - personal inquiry shall replace them . " At breakfast [I]447-letters announced to [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary that [I]447-letters was going a journey , and should be absent at least four days . "[447-letters] Alone , [Jane]146-jane ? " [they]7531-they asked . "[146-jane] Yes ; it was to see or hear news of [a friend about whom [I]0-i had for some time been uneasy]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy . " [They]7531-they might have said , as [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy have no doubt [they]7531-they thought , that [they]7531-they had believed [me]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy to be without [any friends]7532-any friends save [them]7531-they : for , indeed , [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy had often said so ; but , with [their]7531-they true natural delicacy , [they]7531-they abstained from comment , except that [Diana]400-diana asked [me]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy if [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy was sure [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy was well enough to travel . [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy looked very pale , [she]400-diana observed . [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy replied , that nothing ailed [me]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy save anxiety of mind , which [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy hoped soon to alleviate . It was easy to make [my]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy further arrangements ; for [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy was troubled with no inquiries - no surmises . Having once explained to [them]7531-they that [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy could not now be explicit about [my]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy plans , [they]7531-they kindly and wisely acquiesced in the silence with which [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy pursued [them]7531-they , according to [me]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy the privilege of free action [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy should under similar circumstances have accorded [them]7531-they . [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy left [Moor House]104-moor house at three o'clock p.m. , and soon after four [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy stood at the foot of [the sign - post of Whitcross]7533-the sign - post of whitcross , waiting the arrival of [the coach]853-the coach which was to take [me]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy to [distant Thornfield]43-thornfield . Amidst the silence of [those solitary roads]7535-those solitary roads and [desert hills]7536-desert hills , [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy heard it approach from a great distance . It was [the same vehicle]7537-the same vehicle whence , a year ago , [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy had alighted one summer evening on this very spot - how desolate , and hopeless , and objectless ! It stopped as [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy beckoned . [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy entered - not now obliged to part with [my]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy whole fortune as the price of [its]853-the coach accommodation . Once more on [the road to [Thornfield]43-thornfield]7538-the road to thornfield , [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy felt like [the messenger - pigeon]7539-the messenger - pigeon flying [home]509-home . It was a journey of six - and - thirty hours . [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy had set out from [Whitcross]99-whitcross on a Tuesday afternoon , and early on the succeeding Thursday morning [the coach]853-the coach stopped to water the horses at [a wayside inn]7542-a wayside inn , situated in the midst of scenery whose green hedges and large fields and [low pastoral hills]7543-low pastoral hills how mild of feature and verdant of hue compared with [the stern North - Midland moors of [Morton]105-morton]7544-the stern north - midland moors of morton ! met [my]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy eye like the lineaments of a once familiar face . Yes , [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy knew the character of [this landscape]7545-this landscape : [I]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy was sure [we]7546-we were near [[my]4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy bourne]7547-my bourne . "[4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy] How far is [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall from here ? " [I]4353-ma'am asked of [the ostler]2670-the ostler . "[4353-ma'am] Just two miles , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , across [the fields]6688-the fields . " "[4353-ma'am] [My]0-i journey is closed , " [I]0-i thought to [myself]0-i . [I]0-i got out of [the coach]853-the coach , gave a box [I]0-i had into [the ostler]2670-the ostler 's charge , to be kept till [I]0-i called for it ; paid [my]0-i fare ; satisfied [the coachman]4912-the coachman , and was going : the brightening day gleamed on the sign of [the inn]7552-the inn , and [I]0-i read in gilt letters , "[0-i] [The Rochester Arms]140-the rochester arms . " [My]0-i heart leapt up : [I]0-i was already on [[[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's very lands]7554-my master 's very lands . It fell again : the thought struck it:- "[0-i] [[Your]0-i master]4013-your master [himself]4013-your master may be beyond [the British Channel]141-the british channel , for aught [you]0-i know : and then , if [he]4013-your master is at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , towards which [you]0-i hasten , who besides [him]4013-your master is there ? [[His]4013-your master lunatic wife]4014-his lunatic wife : and [you]0-i have nothing to do with [him]4013-your master : [you]0-i dare not speak to [him]4013-your master or seek [his]4013-your master presence . [You]0-i have lost [your]0-i labour - [you]0-i had better go no farther , " urged [the monitor]7555-the monitor . "[0-i] Ask information of [the people at [the inn]7552-the inn]4015-the people at the inn ; [they]4015-the people at the inn can give [you]0-i all [you]0-i seek : [they]4015-the people at the inn can solve [your]0-i doubts at once . Go up to [that man]3029-that man , and inquire if [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester be at [home]509-home . " The suggestion was sensible , and yet [I]0-i could not force [myself]0-i to act on it . [I]0-i so dreaded a reply that would crush [me]0-i with despair . To prolong doubt was to prolong hope . [I]0-i might yet once more see [the Hall]608-the hall under the ray of [her]608-the hall star . There was the stile before [me]0-i - [the very fields through which [I]0-i had hurried]7557-the very fields through which i had hurried , blind , deaf , distracted with a revengeful fury tracking and scourging [me]0-i , on the morning [I]0-i fled from [Thornfield]43-thornfield : ere [I]0-i well knew what course [I]0-i had resolved to take , [I]0-i was in the midst of [them]7558-them . How fast [I]0-i walked ! How [I]0-i ran sometimes ! How [I]0-i looked forward to catch the first view of [the well - known woods]7559-the well - known woods ! With what feelings [I]0-i welcomed single trees [I]0-i knew , and familiar glimpses of meadow and [hill between]7560-hill between [them]7559-the well - known woods ! At last [the woods]662-the woods rose ; [the rookery]7562-the rookery clustered dark ; a loud cawing broke the morning stillness . Strange delight inspired [me]0-i : on [I]0-i hastened . [Another field]7563-another field crossed - [a lane]6796-a lane threaded - and there were the courtyard walls - [the back offices]7565-the back offices : [the house itself]7566-the house itself , [the rookery]7562-the rookery still hid . "[0-i] [My]0-i first view of [it]4019-it shall be in front , " [I]0-i determined , "[0-i] where [its]4019-it bold battlements will strike the eye nobly at once , and where [I]0-i can single out [[my]0-i master]4336-my master 's very window : perhaps [he]4336-my master will be standing at it - [he]4336-my master rises early : perhaps [he]4336-my master is now walking in [the orchard]5934-the orchard , or on the pavement in front . Could [I]0-i but see [him]4336-my master ! - but a moment ! Surely , in that case , [I]0-i should not be so mad as to run to [him]4336-my master ? [I]0-i can not tell - [I]0-i am not certain . And if [I]0-i did - what then ? [God]180-mrs. fairfax bless [him]4336-my master ! What then ? Who would be hurt by [my]0-i once more tasting the life [his]4336-my master glance can give [me]0-i ? [I]0-i rave : perhaps at this moment [he]4336-my master is watching the sun rise over [the Pyrenees]142-the pyrenees , or on [the tideless sea of the south]4022-the tideless sea of the south . " [I]0-i had coasted along the lower wall of [the orchard]5934-the orchard - turned its angle : there was a gate just there , opening into [the meadow]7569-the meadow , between two stone pillars crowned by stone balls . From behind one pillar [I]0-i could peep round quietly at the full front of [the mansion]568-the mansion . [I]0-i advanced [my]0-i head with precaution , desirous to ascertain if any bedroom window - blinds were yet drawn up : battlements , windows , long front - all from [this sheltered station]7571-this sheltered station were at [my]0-i command . The crows sailing overhead perhaps watched [me]0-i while [I]0-i took this survey . [I]0-i wonder what [they]7572-they thought . [They]7572-they must have considered [I]0-i was very careful and timid at first , and that gradually [I]0-i grew very bold and reckless . A peep , and then a long stare ; and then a departure from [my]0-i niche and a straying out into [the meadow]7569-the meadow ; and a sudden stop full in front of [the great mansion]7574-the great mansion , and a protracted , hardy gaze towards [it]7574-the great mansion . "[0-i] What affectation of diffidence was this at first ? " [they]7572-they might have demanded ; "[0-i] what stupid regardlessness now ? " Hear an illustration , [reader]496-reader . [A lover]7576-a lover finds [[his]7576-a lover mistress]3030-his mistress asleep on [a mossy bank]7578-a mossy bank ; [he]7576-a lover wishes to catch a glimpse of [her]3030-his mistress fair face without waking [her]3030-his mistress . [He]7576-a lover steals softly over the grass , careful to make no sound ; [he]7576-a lover pauses - fancying [she]3030-his mistress has stirred : [he]7576-a lover withdraws : not for worlds would [he]7576-a lover be seen . All is still : [he]7576-a lover again advances : [he]7576-a lover bends above [her]3030-his mistress ; a light veil rests on [her]3030-his mistress features : [he]7576-a lover lifts it , bends lower ; now [his]7576-a lover eyes anticipate the vision of beauty - warm , and blooming , and lovely , in rest . How hurried was [their]7572-they first glance ! But how [they]7572-they fix ! How [he]7576-a lover starts ! How [he]7576-a lover suddenly and vehemently clasps in both arms the form [he]7576-a lover dared not , a moment since , touch with [his]7576-a lover finger ! How [he]7576-a lover calls aloud a name , and drops [his]7576-a lover burden , and gazes on it wildly ! [He]7576-a lover thus grasps and cries , and gazes , because [he]7576-a lover no longer fears to waken by any sound [he]7576-a lover can utter - by any movement [he]7576-a lover can make . [He]7576-a lover thought [his]7576-a lover love slept sweetly : [he]7576-a lover finds [she]3030-his mistress is stone dead . [I]4023-i looked with timorous joy towards [a stately house]7579-a stately house : [I]4023-i saw [a blackened ruin]7580-a blackened ruin . No need to cower behind a gate - post , indeed ! - to peep up at chamber lattices , fearing life was astir behind them ! No need to listen for doors opening - to fancy steps on the pavement or the gravel - walk ! [The lawn]633-the lawn , [the grounds]772-the grounds were trodden and waste : the portal yawned void . [The front]7583-the front was , as [I]4023-i had once seen [it]7583-the front in a dream , but a well - like wall , very high and very fragile - looking , perforated with paneless windows : no roof , no battlements , no chimneys - all had crashed in . And there was the silence of death about it : the solitude of [a lonesome wild]7584-a lonesome wild . No wonder that letters addressed to [people here]7585-people here had never received an answer : as well despatch epistles to a vault in [a church aisle]7586-a church aisle . The grim blackness of the stones told by what fate [the Hall]608-the hall had fallen - by conflagration : but how kindled ? What story belonged to this disaster ? What loss , besides mortar and marble and wood - work had followed upon it ? Had life been wrecked as well as [property]7588-property ? If so , whose ? Dreadful question : there was [no one]593-no one here to answer it - not even dumb sign , mute token . In wandering round the shattered walls and through the devastated interior , [I]4023-i gathered evidence that the calamity was not of late occurrence . Winter snows , [I]4023-i thought , had drifted through [that void arch]7590-that void arch , winter rains beaten in at those hollow casements ; for , amidst the drenched piles of rubbish , spring had cherished vegetation : grass and weed grew here and there between the stones and fallen rafters . And oh ! where meantime was [the hapless owner of this wreck]7591-the hapless owner of this wreck ? In [what land]7592-what land ? Under what auspices ? [My]4023-i eye involuntarily wandered to [the grey church tower near the gates]7593-the grey church tower near the gates , and [I]4023-i asked , "[4023-i] Is [he]4023-i with [Damer de Rochester]375-damer de rochester , sharing the shelter of [[his]4023-i narrow marble house]4024-his narrow marble house ? " Some answer must be had to these questions . [I]375-damer de rochester could find it nowhere but at [the inn]7552-the inn , and thither , ere long , [I]375-damer de rochester returned . [The host]7595-the host [himself]7595-the host brought [my]375-damer de rochester breakfast into [the parlour]793-the parlour . [I]375-damer de rochester requested [him]7595-the host to shut the door and sit down : [I]375-damer de rochester had some questions to ask [him]7595-the host . But when [he]7595-the host complied , [I]375-damer de rochester scarcely knew how to begin ; such horror had [I]375-damer de rochester of the possible answers . And yet the spectacle of desolation [I]375-damer de rochester had just left prepared [me]375-damer de rochester in a measure for a tale of misery . [The host]7595-the host was [a respectable - looking , middle - aged man]7598-a respectable - looking , middle - aged man . "[375-damer de rochester] [You]4025-you know [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall , of course ? " [I]375-damer de rochester managed to say at last . "[375-damer de rochester] Yes , [ma'am]4353-ma'am ; [I]0-i lived [there]4426-there once . " "[4025-you] Did [you]4025-you ? " Not in [my]4025-you time , [I]4025-you thought : [you]4025-you are [a stranger to [me]4025-you]7599-a stranger to me . "[4025-you] [I]0-i was [the late [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's butler]4029-mr. rochester 's butler]4028-the late mr. rochester 's butler , " [he]0-i added . [The late]7600-the late ! [I]7600-the late seem to have received , with full force , the blow [I]7600-the late had been trying to evade . "[7600-the late] [The late]7600-the late ! " [I]7600-the late gasped . "[7600-the late] Is [he]251-mr. rochester dead ? " "[4031-the present gentleman] [I]0-i mean [the present gentleman]4031-the present gentleman , [[Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward 's father]4032-mr. edward 's father , " [he]0-i explained . [I]4031-the present gentleman breathed again : [my]4031-the present gentleman blood resumed its flow . Fully assured by these words that [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward - [MY]4031-the present gentleman Mr. [Rochester]251-mr. rochester God bless [him]273-mr. edward , wherever [he]273-mr. edward was ! - was at least alive : was , in short , "[4031-the present gentleman] [the present gentleman]4031-the present gentleman . " Gladdening words ! It seemed [I]4031-the present gentleman could hear all that was to come - whatever the disclosures might be - with comparative tranquillity . Since [he]251-mr. rochester was not in the grave , [I]4031-the present gentleman could bear , [I]4031-the present gentleman thought , to learn that [he]251-mr. rochester was at [the Antipodes]144-the antipodes . "[4031-the present gentleman] Is [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester living at [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall now ? " [I]251-mr. rochester asked , knowing , of course , what the answer would be , but yet desirous of deferring the direct question as to where [he]251-mr. rochester really was . "[251-mr. rochester] No , [ma'am]4353-ma'am - oh , no ! [No one]593-no one is living [there]4426-there . [I]0-i suppose [you]4353-ma'am are a stranger in these parts , or [you]4353-ma'am would have heard what happened last autumn , - [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall is quite a ruin : [it]53-thornfield hall was burnt down just about harvest - time . A dreadful calamity ! such an immense quantity of valuable property destroyed : hardly any of the furniture could be saved . The fire broke out at dead of night , and before the engines arrived from [Millcote]44-millcote , [the building]4536-the building was one mass of flame . It was a terrible spectacle : [I]0-i witnessed it [myself]0-i . " "[0-i] At dead of night ! " [I]0-i muttered . Yes , that was ever the hour of fatality at [Thornfield]43-thornfield . "[0-i] Was it known how it originated ? " [I]4038-they demanded . "[4038-they] [They]4038-they guessed , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : [they]4038-they guessed . Indeed , [I]0-i should say it was ascertained beyond a doubt . [You]4353-ma'am are not perhaps aware , " [he]0-i continued , edging [his]0-i chair a little nearer the table , and speaking low , "[4353-ma'am] that there was [a lady]4932-a lady - a - [a lunatic]3674-a lunatic , kept in [the house]4322-the house ? " "[4932-a lady] [I]0-i have heard something of it . " "[4932-a lady] [She]4932-a lady was kept in very close confinement , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : [people]4493-people even for some years was not absolutely certain of [her]4932-a lady existence . [No one]593-no one saw [her]4932-a lady : [they]4493-people only knew by rumour that [such a person]4046-such a person was at [the Hall]608-the hall ; and who or what [she]4932-a lady was it was difficult to conjecture . [They]4493-people said [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward had brought [her]4932-a lady from abroad , and [some]1182-some believed [she]4932-a lady had been [[his]273-mr. edward mistress]3030-his mistress . But a queer thing happened a year since - a very queer thing . " [I]4050-this lady feared now to hear [my]4050-this lady own story . [I]4050-this lady endeavoured to recall [him]273-mr. edward to the main fact . "[4050-this lady] And [this lady]4050-this lady ? " "[4050-this lady] [This lady]4050-this lady , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , " [he]273-mr. edward answered , "[4050-this lady] turned out to be [[Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's wife]4053-mr. rochester 's wife ! The discovery was brought about in the strangest way . There was [a young lady]4054-a young lady , [a governess]5029-a governess at [the Hall]608-the hall , that [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester fell in - " "[251-mr. rochester] But the fire , " [I]0-i suggested . "[0-i] [I]0-i 'm coming to that , [ma'am]4353-ma'am - that [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward fell in love with . [The servants]546-the servants say [they]546-the servants never saw [anybody]4330-anybody so much in love as [he]273-mr. edward was : [he]273-mr. edward was after [her]4054-a young lady continually . [They]546-the servants used to watch [him]273-mr. edward - [servants]4989-servants will , [you]4353-ma'am know , [ma'am]4353-ma'am - and [he]273-mr. edward set store on [her]4054-a young lady past everything : for all , [[nobody]4628-nobody but [him]273-mr. edward]4063-nobody but him thought [her]4054-a young lady so very handsome . [She]4054-a young lady was a little small thing , [they]546-the servants say , almost like [a child]4305-a child . [I]0-i never saw [her]4054-a young lady [myself]0-i ; but [I]0-i 've heard [Leah]195-bessie , [the house - maid]573-the house - maid , tell of [her]4054-a young lady . [Leah]195-bessie liked [her]4054-a young lady well enough . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was about forty , and [this governess]4066-this governess not twenty ; and [you]4067-you see , when [gentlemen of [his]251-mr. rochester age]4068-gentlemen of his age fall in love with [girls]3493-girls , [they]4068-gentlemen of his age are often like as if [they]4068-gentlemen of his age were bewitched . Well , [he]251-mr. rochester would marry [her]4054-a young lady . " "[4067-you] [You]4067-you shall tell [me]0-i this part of the story another time , " [I]4067-you said ; "[4067-you] but now [I]0-i have a particular reason for wishing to hear all about the fire . Was it suspected that [this lunatic]4070-this lunatic , [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester , had any hand in it ? " "[4067-you] [You]4067-you 've hit it , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : it 's quite certain that it was [her]363-mrs. rochester , and [nobody]4628-nobody but [her]363-mrs. rochester , that set it going . [She]363-mrs. rochester had [a woman to take care of [her]363-mrs. rochester called [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole - [an able woman in [her]363-mrs. rochester line]4074-an able woman in her line , and very trustworthy , but for one fault - a fault common to [a deal of [them]4076-them [nurses]4077-nurses]4075-a deal of them nurses and [matrons]4078-matrons]4073-a woman to take care of her called mrs. poole - an able woman in her line , and very trustworthy , but for one fault - a fault common to a deal of them nurses and matrons - [she]363-mrs. rochester KEPT [A PRIVATE BOTTLE OF GIN]4079-a private bottle of gin BY [HER]363-mrs. rochester , and now and then took a drop over - much . It is excusable , for [she]363-mrs. rochester had a hard life of it : but still it was dangerous ; for when [Mrs. Poole]287-mrs. poole was fast asleep after the gin and water , [the mad lady]4080-the mad lady , who was as cunning as [a witch]4081-a witch , would take the keys out of [her]4080-the mad lady pocket , let [herself]4080-the mad lady out of [[her]4080-the mad lady chamber]6393-her chamber , and go roaming about [the house]4322-the house , doing any wild mischief that came into [her]4080-the mad lady head . [They]4084-they say [she]4080-the mad lady had nearly burnt [[her]4080-the mad lady husband]620-her husband in [his]620-her husband bed once : but [I]0-i do n't know about that . However , on this night , [she]4080-the mad lady set fire first to the hangings of [the room]535-the room next [her]4080-the mad lady own , and then [she]4080-the mad lady got down to [a lower storey]4087-a lower storey , and made [her]4080-the mad lady way to [the chamber that had been [the governess]1491-the governess 's]4088-the chamber that had been the governess 's - [she]4080-the mad lady was like as if [she]4080-the mad lady knew somehow how matters had gone on , and had a spite at [her]4080-the mad lady - and [she]4080-the mad lady kindled the bed [there]4426-there ; but there was [nobody]4628-nobody sleeping in [it]4426-there , fortunately . [The governess]1491-the governess had run away two months before ; and for all [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester sought [her]1491-the governess as if [she]1491-the governess had been the most precious thing [he]251-mr. rochester had in [the world]484-the world , [he]251-mr. rochester never could hear a word of [her]1491-the governess ; and [he]251-mr. rochester grew savage - quite savage on [his]251-mr. rochester disappointment : [he]251-mr. rochester never was [a wild man]4094-a wild man , but [he]251-mr. rochester got dangerous after [he]251-mr. rochester lost [her]1491-the governess . [He]251-mr. rochester would be alone , too . [He]251-mr. rochester sent [Mrs. Fairfax]180-mrs. fairfax , [the housekeeper]762-the housekeeper , away to [[her]180-mrs. fairfax friends]715-her friends at a distance ; but [he]251-mr. rochester did it handsomely , for [he]251-mr. rochester settled an annuity on [her]1491-the governess for life : and [she]1491-the governess deserved it - [she]1491-the governess was [a very good woman]4097-a very good woman . [Miss Adele]259-adele , [a ward [he]251-mr. rochester had]4098-a ward he had , was put to [school]537-school . [He]251-mr. rochester broke off acquaintance with [all the gentry]4100-all the gentry , and shut [himself]251-mr. rochester up like [a hermit at [the Hall]608-the hall]4101-a hermit at the hall . " "[251-mr. rochester] What ! did [he]251-mr. rochester not leave [England]21-england ? " "[251-mr. rochester] Leave [England]21-england ? Bless [you]4103-you , no ! [He]251-mr. rochester would not cross the door - stones of [the house]4322-the house , except at night , when [he]251-mr. rochester walked just like a ghost about [the grounds]772-the grounds and in [the orchard]5934-the orchard as if [he]251-mr. rochester had lost [his]251-mr. rochester senses - which it is [my]0-i opinion [he]251-mr. rochester had ; for [a more spirited , bolder , keener gentleman]4107-a more spirited , bolder , keener gentleman than [he]251-mr. rochester was before [that midge of a governess]4108-that midge of a governess crossed [him]251-mr. rochester , [you]4103-you never saw , [ma'am]4353-ma'am . [He]251-mr. rochester was not [a man given to wine , or cards , or racing]4110-a man given to wine , or cards , or racing , as some are , and [he]251-mr. rochester was not so very handsome ; but [he]251-mr. rochester had a courage and a will of [his]251-mr. rochester own , if ever [man]4667-man had . [I]0-i knew [him]251-mr. rochester from [a boy]4112-a boy , [you]4103-you see : and for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i have often wished that [Miss Eyre]146-jane had been sunk in [the sea]5042-the sea before [she]146-jane came to [Thornfield Hall]53-thornfield hall . " "[146-jane] Then [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester was at [home]509-home when the fire broke out ? " "[251-mr. rochester] Yes , indeed was [he]251-mr. rochester ; and [he]251-mr. rochester went up to [the attics]1523-the attics when all was burning above and below , and got [the servants]546-the servants out of [their]546-the servants beds and helped [them]546-the servants down [himself]251-mr. rochester , and went back to get [[his]251-mr. rochester mad wife]4117-his mad wife out of [[her]4117-his mad wife cell]3159-her cell . And then [they]546-the servants called out to [him]251-mr. rochester that [she]4117-his mad wife was on the roof , where [she]4117-his mad wife was standing , waving [her]4117-his mad wife arms , above the battlements , and shouting out till [they]546-the servants could hear [her]4117-his mad wife a mile off : [I]0-i saw [her]4117-his mad wife and heard [her]4117-his mad wife with [my]0-i own eyes . [She]4117-his mad wife was [a big woman]6553-a big woman , and had long black hair : [we]4120-we could see it streaming against the flames as [she]4117-his mad wife stood . [I]0-i witnessed , and several more witnessed , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ascend through the sky - light on to the roof ; [we]4120-we heard [him]251-mr. rochester call ' [Bertha]378-bertha mason ! ' [We]4120-we saw [him]251-mr. rochester approach [her]4117-his mad wife ; and then , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , [she]4117-his mad wife yelled and gave a spring , and the next minute [she]4117-his mad wife lay smashed on the pavement . " "[4117-his mad wife] Dead ? " "[4117-his mad wife] Dead ! Ay , dead as the stones on which [her]4117-his mad wife brains and blood were scattered . " "[448-god] [Good God]448-god ! " "[448-god] [You]4353-ma'am may well say so , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : it was frightful ! " [He]4353-ma'am shuddered . "[4353-ma'am] And afterwards ? " [I]4353-ma'am urged . "[4353-ma'am] Well , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , afterwards [the house]4322-the house was burnt to the ground : there are only some bits of walls standing now . " "[4353-ma'am] Were any other lives lost ? " "[4353-ma'am] No - perhaps it would have been better if there had . " "[0-i] What do [you]0-i mean ? " "[0-i] [Poor Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward ! " [he]0-i ejaculated , "[273-mr. edward] [I]0-i little thought ever to have seen it ! [Some]1182-some say it was a just judgment on [him]251-mr. rochester for keeping [his]251-mr. rochester first marriage secret , and wanting to take [another wife]4126-another wife while [he]251-mr. rochester had one living : but [I]0-i pity [him]251-mr. rochester , for [my]0-i part . " "[0-i] [You]0-i said [he]251-mr. rochester was alive ? " [I]0-i exclaimed . "[0-i] Yes , yes : [he]251-mr. rochester is alive ; but [many]7179-many think [he]251-mr. rochester had better [he]251-mr. rochester dead . " "[251-mr. rochester] Why ? How ? " [My]251-mr. rochester blood was again running cold . "[251-mr. rochester] Where is [he]251-mr. rochester ? " [I]251-mr. rochester demanded . "[251-mr. rochester] Is [he]251-mr. rochester in [England]21-england ? " "[251-mr. rochester] Ay - ay - [he]251-mr. rochester 's in [England]21-england ; [he]251-mr. rochester ca n't get out of [England]21-england , [I]0-i fancy - [he]251-mr. rochester 's [a fixture]4128-a fixture now . " What agony was this ! And [the man]1375-the man seemed resolved to protract it . "[251-mr. rochester] [He]251-mr. rochester is stone - blind , " [he]1375-the man said at last . "[251-mr. rochester] Yes , [he]251-mr. rochester is stone - blind , is [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward . " [I]273-mr. edward had dreaded worse . [I]273-mr. edward had dreaded [he]1375-the man was mad . [I]273-mr. edward summoned strength to ask what had caused this calamity . "[273-mr. edward] It was all [his]251-mr. rochester own courage , and [a body]4129-a body may say , [his]251-mr. rochester kindness , in a way , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : [he]251-mr. rochester would n't leave [the house]4322-the house till every one else was out before [him]251-mr. rochester . As [he]251-mr. rochester came down the great staircase at last , after [Mrs. Rochester]363-mrs. rochester had flung [herself]363-mrs. rochester from the battlements , there was a great crash - all fell . [He]251-mr. rochester was taken out from under [the ruins]4132-the ruins , alive , but sadly hurt : a beam had fallen in such a way as to protect [him]251-mr. rochester partly ; but one eye was knocked out , and one hand so crushed that [Mr. Carter]270-carter , [the surgeon]1227-the surgeon , had to amputate it directly . The other eye inflamed : [he]251-mr. rochester lost the sight of that also . [He]251-mr. rochester is now helpless , indeed - blind and [a cripple]4134-a cripple . " "[4134-a cripple] Where is [he]251-mr. rochester ? Where does [he]251-mr. rochester now live ? " "[251-mr. rochester] At [Ferndean]145-ferndean , [a manor - house on [a farm]4136-a farm [he]251-mr. rochester has]4135-a manor - house on a farm he has , about thirty miles off : quite [a desolate spot]4137-a desolate spot . " "[251-mr. rochester] Who is with [him]251-mr. rochester ? " "[449-john] [Old John]449-john and [[his]449-john wife]4986-his wife : [he]251-mr. rochester would have [none else]4139-none else . [He]251-mr. rochester is quite broken down , [they]4140-they say . " "[4140-they] Have [you]4141-you any sort of conveyance ? " "[4141-you] [We]4142-we have a chaise , [ma'am]4353-ma'am , a very handsome chaise . " "[4141-you] Let it be got ready instantly ; and if [[your]4141-you post - boy]4144-your post - boy can drive [me]0-i to [Ferndean]145-ferndean before dark this day , [I]0-i 'll pay both [you]4141-you and [him]251-mr. rochester twice the hire [you]4141-you usually demand . " CHAPTER XXXVII [The manor - house of Ferndean]7602-the manor - house of ferndean was [a building of considerable antiquity , moderate size , and no architectural pretensions , deep buried in a wood]7603-a building of considerable antiquity , moderate size , and no architectural pretensions , deep buried in a wood . [I]0-i had heard of [it]7602-the manor - house of ferndean before . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester often spoke of [it]7602-the manor - house of ferndean , and sometimes went [there]4426-there . [[His]251-mr. rochester father]5218-his father had purchased [the estate]5225-the estate for the sake of the game covers . [He]5218-his father would have let [the house]4322-the house , but could find [no tenant]7608-no tenant , in consequence of [its]7602-the manor - house of ferndean ineligible and insalubrious site . [Ferndean]145-ferndean then remained uninhabited and unfurnished , with the exception of [some two or three rooms fitted up for the accommodation of [the squire]7610-the squire]7609-some two or three rooms fitted up for the accommodation of the squire when [he]7610-the squire went [there]4426-there in the season to shoot . To [this house]4596-this house [I]0-i came just ere dark on an evening marked by the characteristics of sad sky , cold gale , and continued small penetrating rain . The last mile [I]0-i performed on foot , having dismissed the chaise and [driver]5922-driver with the double remuneration [I]0-i had promised . Even when within a very short distance of [the manor - house]7614-the manor - house , [you]7615-you could see nothing of [it]7602-the manor - house of ferndean , so thick and dark grew the timber of the gloomy wood about [it]7602-the manor - house of ferndean . Iron gates between granite pillars showed [me]0-i where to enter , and passing through [them]7616-them , [I]0-i found [myself]0-i at once in the twilight of close - ranked trees . There was a grass - grown track descending [the forest aisle]7617-the forest aisle between hoar and knotty shafts and under branched arches . [I]0-i followed it , expecting soon to reach [the dwelling]7618-the dwelling ; but [it]4596-this house stretched on and on , it would far and farther : no sign of habitation or [grounds]7619-grounds was visible . [I]0-i thought [I]0-i had taken a wrong direction and lost [my]0-i way . The darkness of natural as well as of sylvan dusk gathered over [me]0-i . [I]0-i looked round in search of [another road]2668-another road . There was none : all was interwoven stem , columnar trunk , dense summer foliage - no opening anywhere . [I]0-i proceeded : at last [my]0-i way opened , the trees thinned a little ; presently [I]0-i beheld a railing , then [the house]4322-the house - scarce , by this dim light , distinguishable from the trees ; so dank and green were [its]7602-the manor - house of ferndean decaying walls . Entering a portal , fastened only by a latch , [I]0-i stood amidst a space of enclosed ground , from which the wood swept away in a semicircle . There were no flowers , [no garden - beds]7622-no garden - beds ; only a broad gravel - walk girdling a grass - plat , and this set in the heavy frame of [the forest]1232-the forest . [The house]4322-the house presented two pointed gables in [its]7602-the manor - house of ferndean front ; the windows were latticed and narrow : the front door was narrow too , one step led up to [it]7602-the manor - house of ferndean . The whole looked , as [the host of the Rochester Arms]7625-the host of the rochester arms had said , "[0-i] quite a desolate spot . " [It]4322-the house was as still as [a church]1389-a church on a week - day : the pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible in [its]4322-the house vicinage . "[0-i] Can there be life here ? " [I]0-i asked . Yes , life of some kind there was ; for [I]0-i heard a movement - that narrow front - door was unclosing , and some shape was about to issue from the grange . [It]4322-the house opened slowly : [a figure]5361-a figure came out into the twilight and stood on the step ; [a man without a hat]7628-a man without a hat : [he]7628-a man without a hat stretched forth [his]7628-a man without a hat hand as if to feel whether it rained . Dusk as it was , [I]0-i had recognised [him]7628-a man without a hat - it was [[my]0-i master]4336-my master , [Edward Fairfax Rochester]377-edward fairfax rochester , and [no other]7630-no other . [I]0-i stayed [my]0-i step , almost [my]0-i breath , and stood to watch [him]7628-a man without a hat - to examine [him]7628-a man without a hat , [myself]0-i unseen , and alas ! to [him]7628-a man without a hat invisible . It was a sudden meeting , and one in which rapture was kept well in check by pain . [I]0-i had no difficulty in restraining [my]0-i voice from exclamation , [my]0-i step from hasty advance . [His]7628-a man without a hat form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as ever : [his]7628-a man without a hat port was still erect , [his]7628-a man without a hat hair was still raven black ; nor were [his]7628-a man without a hat features altered or sunk : not in one year 's space , by any sorrow , could [his]7628-a man without a hat athletic strength be quelled or [his]7628-a man without a hat vigorous prime blighted . But in [his]7628-a man without a hat countenance [I]0-i saw a change : that looked desperate and brooding - that reminded [me]0-i of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird , dangerous to approach in [his]7628-a man without a hat sullen woe . The caged eagle , whose gold - ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished , might look as looked that sightless [Samson]198-sam . And , [reader]496-reader , do [you]496-reader think [I]0-i feared [him]7628-a man without a hat in [his]7628-a man without a hat blind ferocity ? - if [you]496-reader do , [you]496-reader little know [me]0-i . A soft hope blest with [my]0-i sorrow that soon [I]0-i should dare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock , and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath it : but not yet . [I]0-i would not accost [him]7628-a man without a hat yet . [He]7628-a man without a hat descended the one step , and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the grass - plat . Where was [his]7628-a man without a hat daring stride now ? Then [he]7628-a man without a hat paused , as if [he]7628-a man without a hat knew not which way to turn . [He]7628-a man without a hat lifted [his]7628-a man without a hat hand and opened [his]7628-a man without a hat eyelids ; gazed blank , and with a straining effort , on the sky , and toward the amphitheatre of trees : [one]4415-one saw that all to [him]7628-a man without a hat was void darkness . [He]7628-a man without a hat stretched [his]7628-a man without a hat right hand the left arm , the mutilated one , [he]7628-a man without a hat kept hidden in [his]7628-a man without a hat bosom ; [he]7628-a man without a hat seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around [him]7628-a man without a hat : [he]7628-a man without a hat met but vacancy still ; for the trees were some yards off where [he]7628-a man without a hat stood . [He]7628-a man without a hat relinquished the endeavour , folded [his]7628-a man without a hat arms , and stood quiet and mute in the rain , now falling fast on [his]7628-a man without a hat uncovered head . At this moment [John]449-john approached [him]7628-a man without a hat from [some quarter]7633-some quarter . "[0-i] Will [you]4145-you take [my]0-i arm , [sir]4374-sir ? " [he]0-i said ; "[4145-you] there is a heavy shower coming on : had [you]4145-you not better go in ? " "[4145-you] Let [me]0-i alone , " was the answer . [John]449-john withdrew without having observed [me]4145-you . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester now tried to walk about : vainly , - all was too uncertain . [He]251-mr. rochester groped [his]251-mr. rochester way back to [the house]4322-the house , and , re - entering [it]4322-the house , closed the door . [I]4145-you now drew near and knocked : [[John]449-john 's wife]5435-john 's wife opened for [me]4145-you . "[4145-you] [Mary]233-mary , " [I]4145-you said , "[4145-you] how are [you]233-mary ? " [She]233-mary started as if [she]233-mary had seen a ghost : [I]233-mary calmed [her]233-mary . To [her]233-mary hurried "[233-mary] Is it really [you]233-mary , [miss]4359-miss , come at this late hour to [this lonely place]4148-this lonely place ? " [I]233-mary answered by taking [her]233-mary hand ; and then [I]233-mary followed [her]233-mary into [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , where [John]449-john now sat by a good fire . [I]233-mary explained to [them]7637-them , in few words , that [I]233-mary had heard all which had happened since [I]233-mary left [Thornfield]43-thornfield , and that [I]233-mary was come to see [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . [I]233-mary asked [John]449-john to go down to [the turn - pike - house]7638-the turn - pike - house , where [I]233-mary had dismissed the chaise , and bring [my]233-mary trunk , which [I]233-mary had left there : and then , while [I]233-mary removed [my]233-mary bonnet and shawl , [I]233-mary questioned [Mary]233-mary as to whether [I]233-mary could be accommodated at [the Manor House]7639-the manor house for the night ; and finding that arrangements to that effect , though difficult , would not be impossible , [I]233-mary informed [her]233-mary [I]233-mary should stay . Just at this moment the parlour - bell rang . "[233-mary] When [you]4149-you go in , " said [I]233-mary , "[233-mary] tell [[your]4149-you master]4013-your master that [a person]812-a person wishes to speak to [him]4013-your master , but do not give [my]0-i name . " "[0-i] [I]0-i do n't think [he]4013-your master will see [you]0-i , " [she]233-mary answered ; "[4013-your master] [he]4013-your master refuses [everybody]4413-everybody . " When [she]233-mary returned , [I]4013-your master inquired what [he]4013-your master had said . "[4013-your master] [You]0-i are to send in [your]0-i name and [your]0-i business , " [she]233-mary replied . [She]233-mary then proceeded to fill a glass with water , and place it on a tray , together with candles . "[0-i] Is that what [he]4013-your master rang for ? " [I]4013-your master asked . "[4013-your master] Yes : [he]4013-your master always has candles brought in at dark , though [he]4013-your master is blind . " "[0-i] Give the tray to [me]0-i ; [I]0-i will carry it in . " [I]0-i took it from [her]233-mary hand : [she]233-mary pointed [me]0-i out the parlour door . The tray shook as [I]0-i held it ; the water spilt from the glass ; [my]0-i heart struck [my]0-i ribs loud and fast . [Mary]233-mary opened the door for [me]0-i , and shut it behind [me]0-i . [This parlour]3785-this parlour looked gloomy : a neglected handful of fire burnt low in the grate ; and , leaning over it , with [his]4013-your master head supported against the high , old - fashioned mantelpiece , appeared [the blind tenant of [the room]535-the room]7641-the blind tenant of the room . [His]4013-your master old dog , [Pilot]267-pilot , lay on one side , removed out of the way , and coiled up as if afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon . [Pilot]267-pilot pricked up [his]267-pilot ears when [I]0-i came in : then [he]267-pilot jumped up with a yelp and a whine , and bounded towards [me]0-i : [he]267-pilot almost knocked the tray from [my]0-i hands . [I]0-i set it on the table ; then patted [him]267-pilot , and said softly , "[0-i] Lie down ! " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester turned mechanically to SEE what the commotion was : but as [he]0-i SAW nothing , [he]0-i returned and sighed . "[0-i] Give [me]0-i the water , [Mary]233-mary , " [he]0-i said . [I]233-mary approached [him]0-i with the now only half - filled glass ; [Pilot]267-pilot followed [me]233-mary , still excited . "[233-mary] What is the matter ? " [he]0-i inquired . "[267-pilot] Down , [Pilot]267-pilot ! " [I]267-pilot again said . [He]0-i checked the water on its way to [his]0-i lips , and seemed to listen : [he]0-i drank , and put the glass down . "[267-pilot] This is [you]233-mary , [Mary]233-mary , is it not ? " "[233-mary] [Mary]233-mary is in [the kitchen]658-the kitchen , " [I]233-mary answered . [He]0-i put out [his]0-i hand with a quick gesture , but not seeing where [I]233-mary stood , [he]0-i did not touch [me]233-mary . "[233-mary] Who is this ? Who is this ? " [he]0-i demanded , trying , as it seemed , to SEE with those sightless eyes - unavailing and distressing attempt ! "[233-mary] Answer [me]0-i - speak again ! " [he]0-i ordered , imperiously and aloud . "[233-mary] Will [you]233-mary have a little more water , [sir]4374-sir ? [I]0-i spilt half of what was in the glass , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] WHO is it ? WHAT is it ? Who speaks ? " "[267-pilot] [Pilot]267-pilot knows [me]0-i , and [John]449-john and [Mary]233-mary know [I]0-i am [here]4312-here . [I]0-i came only this evening , " [I]0-i answered . "[0-i] Great God ! - what delusion has come over [me]0-i ? What sweet madness has seized [me]0-i ? " "[2916-the speaker] No delusion - no madness : [your]233-mary mind , [sir]4374-sir , is too strong for delusion , [your]233-mary health too sound for frenzy . " "[2916-the speaker] And where is [the speaker]2916-the speaker ? Is it only a voice ? Oh ! [I]0-i CANNOT see , but [I]0-i must feel , or [my]0-i heart will stop and [my]0-i brain burst . Whatever - whoever [you]233-mary are - be perceptible to the touch or [I]0-i can not live ! " [He]4374-sir groped ; [I]4158-her arrested [his]4374-sir wandering hand , and prisoned it in both mine . "[4158-her] [Her]4158-her very fingers ! " [he]4374-sir cried ; "[4158-her] [her]4158-her small , slight fingers ! If so there must be more of [her]4158-her . " The muscular hand broke from [my]4158-her custody ; [my]4158-her arm was seized , [my]4158-her shoulder - neck - waist - [I]4158-her was entwined and gathered to [him]4374-sir . "[4158-her] Is it [Jane]146-jane ? WHAT is it ? This is [her]4158-her shape - this is [her]4158-her size - " "[4158-her] And this [her]4158-her voice , " [I]4158-her added . "[4158-her] [She]4158-her is all here : [her]4158-her heart , too . God bless [you]4159-you , [sir]4374-sir ! [I]0-i am glad to be so near [you]4159-you again . " "[0-i] [Jane Eyre]146-jane ! - [Jane Eyre]146-jane , " was all [he]4374-sir said . "[146-jane] [[My]0-i dear master]6247-my dear master , " [I]146-jane answered , "[146-jane] [I]0-i am [Jane Eyre]146-jane : [I]0-i have found [you]6247-my dear master out - [I]0-i am come back to [you]6247-my dear master . " "[0-i] In truth ? - in the flesh ? [My]0-i living [Jane]146-jane ? " "[6247-my dear master] [You]6247-my dear master touch [me]0-i , [sir]4374-sir , - [you]6247-my dear master hold [me]0-i , and fast enough : [I]0-i am not cold like a corpse , nor vacant like air , am [I]0-i ? " "[0-i] [[My]0-i living darling]4163-my living darling ! These are certainly [her]146-jane limbs , and these [her]146-jane features ; but [I]0-i can not be so blest , after all [my]0-i misery . It is a dream ; such dreams as [I]0-i have had at night when [I]0-i have clasped [her]146-jane once more to [my]0-i heart , as [I]0-i do now ; and kissed [her]146-jane , as thus - and felt that [she]146-jane loved [me]0-i , and trusted that [she]146-jane would not leave [me]0-i . " "[0-i] Which [I]0-i never will , [sir]4374-sir , from this day . " "[0-i] Never will , says the vision ? But [I]0-i always woke and found it an empty mockery ; and [I]0-i was desolate and abandoned - [my]0-i life dark , lonely , hopeless - [my]0-i soul athirst and forbidden to drink - [my]0-i heart famished and never to be fed . Gentle , soft dream , nestling in [my]0-i arms now , [you]4165-you will fly , too , as [[your]4165-you sisters]4419-your sisters have all fled before [you]4165-you : but kiss [me]0-i before [you]4165-you go - embrace [me]0-i , [Jane]146-jane . " "[146-jane] There , [sir]4374-sir - and there ! " ' [I]146-jane pressed [my]146-jane lips to [his]4374-sir once brilliant and now rayless eyes - [I]146-jane swept [his]4374-sir hair from [his]4374-sir brow , and kissed that too . [He]4374-sir suddenly seemed to arouse [himself]4374-sir : the conviction of the reality of all this seized [him]4374-sir . "[146-jane] It is [you]146-jane - is it , [Jane]146-jane ? [You]146-jane are come back to [me]0-i then ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am . " "[0-i] And [you]146-jane do not lie dead in [some ditch under some stream]4168-some ditch under some stream ? And [you]146-jane are not [a pining outcast]4169-a pining outcast amongst [strangers]1704-strangers ? " "[146-jane] No , [sir]4374-sir ! [I]0-i am [an independent woman]4172-an independent woman now . " "[4172-an independent woman] Independent ! What do [you]146-jane mean , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] [[My]0-i uncle in [Madeira]245-madeira]4173-my uncle in madeira is dead , and [he]4173-my uncle in madeira left [me]0-i five thousand pounds . " "[4173-my uncle in madeira] Ah ! this is practical - this is real ! " [he]0-i cried : "[4173-my uncle in madeira] [I]0-i should never dream that . Besides , there is that peculiar voice of [hers]4174-hers , so animating and piquant , as well as soft : it cheers [my]0-i withered heart ; it puts life into it . - What , [Janet]265-janet ! Are [you]265-janet [an independent woman]4172-an independent woman ? [A rich woman]4176-a rich woman ? " "[4176-a rich woman] If [you]265-janet wo n't let [me]0-i live with [you]265-janet , [I]0-i can build [a house of [my]0-i own]4177-a house of my own close up to [your]265-janet door , and [you]265-janet may come and sit in [[my]0-i parlour]4178-my parlour when [you]265-janet want company of an evening . " "[265-janet] But as [you]265-janet are rich , [Jane]146-jane , [you]265-janet have now , no doubt , [friends who will look after [you]265-janet , and not suffer [you]265-janet to devote [yourself]265-janet to [a blind lameter like [me]0-i]4180-a blind lameter like me]4179-friends who will look after you , and not suffer you to devote yourself to a blind lameter like me ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i told [you]265-janet [I]0-i am independent , [sir]4374-sir , as well as rich : [I]0-i am [[my]0-i own mistress]4182-my own mistress . " "[0-i] And [you]265-janet will stay with [me]0-i ? " "[265-janet] Certainly - unless [you]265-janet object . [I]0-i will be [[your]265-janet neighbour]4183-your neighbour , [[your]265-janet nurse]4184-your nurse , [[your]265-janet housekeeper]4185-your housekeeper . [I]0-i find [you]265-janet lonely : [I]0-i will be [[your]265-janet companion]4186-your companion - to read to [you]265-janet , to walk with [you]265-janet , to sit with [you]265-janet , to wait on [you]265-janet , to be eyes and hands to [you]265-janet . Cease to look so melancholy , [[my]0-i dear master]6247-my dear master ; [you]265-janet shall not be left desolate , so long as [I]0-i live . " [He]0-i replied not : [he]0-i seemed serious - abstracted ; [he]0-i sighed ; [he]0-i half - opened [his]0-i lips as if to speak : [he]0-i closed them again . [I]146-jane felt a little embarrassed . Perhaps [I]146-jane had too rashly over - leaped conventionalities ; and [he]0-i , like [St. John]177-st. john , saw impropriety in [my]146-jane inconsiderateness . [I]146-jane had indeed made [my]146-jane proposal from the idea that [he]0-i wished and would ask [me]146-jane to be [[his]0-i wife]4986-his wife : an expectation , not the less certain because unexpressed , had buoyed [me]146-jane up , that [he]0-i would claim [me]146-jane at once as [his]0-i own . But no hint to that effect escaping [him]0-i and [his]0-i countenance becoming more overcast , [I]146-jane suddenly remembered that [I]146-jane might have been all wrong , and was perhaps playing [the fool]7644-the fool unwittingly ; and [I]146-jane began gently to withdraw [myself]146-jane from [his]0-i arms - but [he]0-i eagerly snatched [me]146-jane closer . "[146-jane] No - no - [Jane]146-jane ; [you]146-jane must not go . No - [I]0-i have touched [you]146-jane , heard [you]146-jane , felt the comfort of [your]146-jane presence - the sweetness of [your]146-jane consolation : [I]0-i can not give up these joys . [I]0-i have little left in [myself]0-i - [I]0-i must have [you]146-jane . [The world]484-the world may laugh - may call [me]0-i absurd , selfish - but it does not signify . [My]0-i very soul demands [you]146-jane : it will be satisfied , or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame . " "[4374-sir] Well , [sir]4374-sir , [I]0-i will stay with [you]4374-sir : [I]0-i have said so . " "[0-i] Yes - but [you]146-jane understand one thing by staying with [me]0-i ; and [I]0-i understand another . [You]146-jane , perhaps , could make up [your]146-jane mind to be about [my]0-i hand and chair - to wait on [me]0-i as [a kind little nurse]4190-a kind little nurse for [you]146-jane have an affectionate heart and a generous spirit , which prompt [you]146-jane to make sacrifices for those [you]146-jane pity , and that ought to suffice for [me]0-i no doubt . [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i should now entertain none but fatherly feelings for [you]146-jane : do [you]146-jane think so ? Come - tell [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [I]0-i will think what [you]4374-sir like , [sir]4374-sir : [I]0-i am content to be only [[your]4374-sir nurse]4184-your nurse , if [you]4374-sir think it better . " "[4374-sir] But [you]146-jane can not always be [[my]0-i nurse]5041-my nurse , [Janet]265-janet : [you]146-jane are young - [you]146-jane must marry one day . " "[265-janet] [I]0-i do n't care about being married . " "[146-jane] [You]146-jane should care , [Janet]265-janet : if [I]0-i were what [I]0-i once was , [I]0-i would try to make [you]146-jane care - but - a sightless block ! " [He]4374-sir relapsed again into gloom . [I]0-i , on the contrary , became more cheerful , and took fresh courage : these last words gave [me]0-i an insight as to where the difficulty lay ; and as it was no difficulty with [me]0-i , [I]0-i felt quite relieved from [my]0-i previous embarrassment . [I]0-i resumed a livelier vein of conversation . "[0-i] It is time [some one]637-some one undertook to rehumanise [you]146-jane , " said [I]637-some one , parting [his]4374-sir thick and long uncut locks ; "[637-some one] for [I]0-i see [you]146-jane are being metamorphosed into a lion , or something of that sort . [You]146-jane have a ' faux air ' of [Nebuchadnezzar]450-nebuchadnezzar in [the fields]6688-the fields about [you]146-jane , that is certain : [your]146-jane hair reminds [me]0-i of eagles ' feathers ; whether [your]146-jane nails are grown like birds ' claws or not , [I]0-i have not yet noticed . " "[0-i] On this arm , [I]0-i have neither hand nor nails , " [he]4374-sir said , drawing the mutilated limb from [his]4374-sir breast , and showing it to [me]0-i . "[0-i] It is a mere stump - a ghastly sight ! Do n't [you]146-jane think so , [Jane]146-jane ? " "[146-jane] It is a pity to see it ; and a pity to see [your]146-jane eyes - and the scar of fire on [your]146-jane forehead : and the worst of it is , one is in danger of loving [you]146-jane too well for all this ; and making too much of [you]146-jane . " "[0-i] [I]0-i thought [you]146-jane would be revolted , [Jane]146-jane , when [you]146-jane saw [my]0-i arm , and [my]0-i cicatrised visage . " "[146-jane] Did [you]146-jane ? Do n't tell [me]0-i so - lest [I]0-i should say something disparaging to [your]146-jane judgment . Now , let [me]0-i leave [you]146-jane an instant , to make a better fire , and have the hearth swept up . Can [you]146-jane tell when there is a good fire ? " "[146-jane] Yes ; with the right eye [I]0-i see a glow - a ruddy haze . " "[146-jane] And [you]146-jane see the candles ? " "[146-jane] Very dimly - each is a luminous cloud . " "[146-jane] Can [you]146-jane see [me]0-i ? " "[146-jane] No , [[my]0-i fairy]4196-my fairy : but [I]0-i am only too thankful to hear and feel [you]146-jane . " "[0-i] When do [you]146-jane take supper ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i never take supper . " "[0-i] But [you]146-jane shall have some to - night . [I]0-i am hungry : so are [you]146-jane , [I]0-i daresay , only [you]146-jane forget . " Summoning [Mary]233-mary , [I]146-jane soon had [the room]535-the room in more cheerful order : [I]146-jane prepared [him]0-i , likewise , a comfortable repast . [My]146-jane spirits were excited , and with pleasure and ease [I]146-jane talked to [him]0-i during supper , and for a long time after . There was no harassing restraint , no repressing of glee and vivacity with [him]0-i ; for with [him]0-i [I]146-jane was at perfect ease , because [I]146-jane knew [I]146-jane suited [him]0-i ; all [I]146-jane said or did seemed either to console or revive [him]0-i . Delightful consciousness ! It brought to life and light [my]146-jane whole nature : in [his]0-i presence [I]146-jane thoroughly lived ; and [he]0-i lived in [mine]146-jane . Blind as [he]0-i was , smiles played over [his]0-i face , joy dawned on [his]0-i forehead : [his]0-i lineaments softened and warmed . After supper , [he]0-i began to ask [me]146-jane many questions , of where [I]146-jane had been , what [I]146-jane had been doing , how [I]146-jane had found [him]0-i out ; but [I]146-jane gave [him]0-i only very partial replies : it was too late to enter into particulars that night . Besides , [I]146-jane wished to touch no deep - thrilling chord - to open no fresh well of emotion in [his]0-i heart : [my]146-jane sole present aim was to cheer [him]0-i . Cheered , as [I]146-jane have said , [he]0-i was : and yet but by fits . If a moment 's silence broke the conversation , [he]0-i would turn restless , touch [me]146-jane , then say , "[146-jane] [Jane]146-jane . " "[146-jane] [You]146-jane are altogether [a human being]2921-a human being , [Jane]146-jane ? [You]146-jane are certain of that ? " "[146-jane] [I]0-i conscientiously believe so , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester . " "[251-mr. rochester] Yet how , on this dark and doleful evening , could [you]146-jane so suddenly rise on [my]0-i lone hearth ? [I]0-i stretched [my]0-i hand to take a glass of water from [a hireling]4198-a hireling , and it was given [me]0-i by [you]146-jane : [I]0-i asked a question , expecting [[John]177-st. john 's wife]5435-john 's wife to answer [me]0-i , and [your]146-jane voice spoke at [my]0-i ear . " "[146-jane] Because [I]0-i had come in , in [[Mary]233-mary 's stead]4200-mary 's stead , with the tray . " "[0-i] And there is enchantment in the very hour [I]0-i am now spending with [you]146-jane . Who can tell what a dark , dreary , hopeless life [I]0-i have dragged on for months past ? Doing nothing , expecting nothing ; merging night in day ; feeling but the sensation of cold when [I]0-i let the fire go out , of hunger when [I]0-i forgot to eat : and then a ceaseless sorrow , and , at times , a very delirium of desire to behold [[my]0-i Jane]6223-my jane again . Yes : for [her]6223-my jane restoration [I]0-i longed , far more than for that of [my]0-i lost sight . How can it be that [Jane]146-jane is with [me]0-i , and says [she]146-jane loves [me]0-i ? Will [she]146-jane not depart as suddenly as [she]146-jane came ? To - morrow , [I]0-i fear [I]0-i shall find [her]146-jane no more . " A commonplace , practical reply , out of the train of [his]0-i own disturbed ideas , was , [I]146-jane was sure , the best and most reassuring for [him]0-i in this frame of mind . [I]146-jane passed [my]146-jane finger over [his]0-i eyebrows , and remarked that they were scorched , and that [I]146-jane would apply something which would make them grow as broad and black as ever . "[146-jane] Where is the use of doing [me]0-i good in any way , beneficent spirit , when , at some fatal moment , [you]4202-you will again desert [me]0-i - passing like a shadow , whither and how to [me]0-i unknown , and for [me]0-i remaining afterwards undiscoverable ? " Have [you]0-i a pocket - comb about [you]0-i , [sir]4374-sir ? "[146-jane] " What for , [Jane]146-jane ? "[146-jane] " Just to comb out this shaggy black mane . [I]146-jane find [you]0-i rather alarming , when [I]146-jane examine [you]0-i close at hand : [you]0-i talk of [my]146-jane being [a fairy]2801-a fairy , but [I]146-jane am sure , [you]0-i are more like [a brownie]7648-a brownie . "[146-jane] " Am [I]146-jane hideous , [Jane]146-jane ? "[146-jane] " Very , [sir]4374-sir : [you]0-i always were , [you]0-i know . "[146-jane] " [Humph]276-humph ! The wickedness has not been taken out of [you]0-i , wherever [you]0-i have sojourned . "[146-jane] " Yet [I]146-jane have been with [good people]2239-good people ; far better than [you]4374-sir : [a hundred times better people]7651-a hundred times better people ; possessed of ideas and views [you]4374-sir never entertained in [your]4374-sir life : quite more refined and exalted . "[146-jane] " Who [the deuce]7652-the deuce have [you]0-i been with ? "[146-jane] " If [you]4374-sir twist in that way [you]4374-sir will make [me]146-jane pull the hair out of [your]4374-sir head ; and then [I]146-jane think [you]4374-sir will cease to entertain doubts of [my]146-jane substantiality . "[146-jane] " Who have [you]0-i been with , [Jane]146-jane ? "[146-jane] " [You]4374-sir shall not get it out of [me]146-jane to - night , [sir]4374-sir ; [you]4374-sir must wait till to - morrow ; to leave [my]146-jane tale half told , will , [you]4374-sir know , be a sort of security that [I]146-jane shall appear at [your]4374-sir breakfast table to finish it . By the bye , [I]146-jane must mind not to rise on [your]4374-sir hearth with only a glass of water then : [I]146-jane must bring an egg at the least , to say nothing of fried ham . "[146-jane] " [You]0-i mocking changeling - fairy - born and human - bred ! [You]0-i make [me]146-jane feel as [I]146-jane have not felt these twelve months . If [Saul]451-saul could have had [you]0-i for [[his]451-saul David]7654-his david , the evil spirit would have been exorcised without the aid of the harp . "[146-jane] " There , [sir]4374-sir , [you]0-i are redd up and made decent . Now [I]146-jane 'll leave [you]0-i : [I]146-jane have been travelling these last three days , and [I]146-jane believe [I]146-jane am tired . Good night . "[146-jane] " Just one word , [Jane]146-jane : were there only ladies in [the house]4322-the house where [you]0-i have been ? "[0-i] [I]0-i laughed and made [my]0-i escape , still laughing as [I]0-i ran [upstairs]552-upstairs . " A good idea ! "[0-i] [I]0-i thought with glee . " [I]0-i see [I]0-i have the means of fretting [him]4204-him out of [his]4204-him melancholy for some time to come . "[0-i] Very early the next morning [I]0-i heard [him]4204-him up and astir , wandering from [one room]4205-one room to another . As soon as [Mary]233-mary came down [I]0-i heard the question : " Is [Miss Eyre]146-jane [here]4312-here ? "[233-mary] Then : " [Which room]7658-which room did [you]4204-him put [her]146-jane into ? Was it dry ? Is [she]146-jane up ? Go and ask if [she]146-jane wants anything ; and when [she]146-jane will come down . "[0-i] [I]0-i came down as soon as [I]0-i thought there was a prospect of breakfast . Entering [the room]535-the room very softly , [I]0-i had a view of [him]4204-him before [he]4204-him discovered [my]0-i presence . It was mournful , indeed , to witness the subjugation of that vigorous spirit to a corporeal infirmity . [He]4204-him sat in [his]4204-him chair - still , but not at rest : expectant evidently ; the lines of now habitual sadness marking [his]4204-him strong features . [His]4204-him countenance reminded one of a lamp quenched , waiting to be re - lit - and alas ! it was not [himself]4204-him that could now kindle the lustre of animated expression : [he]4204-him was dependent on another for [that office]7104-that office ! [I]0-i had meant to be gay and careless , but the powerlessness of [the strong man]4208-the strong man touched [my]0-i heart to the quick : still [I]0-i accosted [him]4204-him with what vivacity [I]0-i could . " It is a bright , sunny morning , [sir]4374-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " The rain is over and gone , and there is a tender shining after it : [you]4374-sir shall have a walk soon . "[0-i] [I]0-i had wakened the glow : [his]4204-him features beamed . " Oh , [you]4374-sir are indeed there , [[my]4204-him skylark]7660-my skylark ! Come to [me]4204-him . [You]4374-sir are not gone : not vanished ? [I]4204-him heard [one of [your]4374-sir kind]7661-one of your kind an hour ago , singing high over the wood : but its song had no music for [me]4204-him , any more than the rising sun had rays . All the melody on earth is concentrated in [my]4204-him [Jane]146-jane 's tongue to [my]4204-him ear [I]4204-him am glad it is not naturally a silent one : all the sunshine [I]4204-him can feel is in [her]146-jane presence . "[4204-him] The water stood in [my]0-i eyes to hear this avowal of [his]4204-him dependence ; just as if a royal eagle , chained to a perch , should be forced to entreat a sparrow to become its purveyor . But [I]0-i would not be lachrymose : [I]0-i dashed off the salt drops , and busied [myself]0-i with preparing breakfast . Most of the morning was spent in the open air . [I]0-i led [him]4204-him out of [the wet and wild wood]4209-the wet and wild wood into [some cheerful fields]4210-some cheerful fields : [I]0-i described to [him]4204-him how brilliantly green they were ; how the flowers and hedges looked refreshed ; how sparklingly blue was the sky . [I]0-i sought a seat for [him]4204-him in a hidden and lovely spot , a dry stump of a tree ; nor did [I]0-i refuse to let [him]4204-him , when seated , place [me]0-i on [his]4204-him knee . Why should [I]0-i , when both [he]4204-him and [I]0-i were happier near than apart ? [Pilot]267-pilot lay beside [us]4211-us : all was quiet . [He]4204-him broke out suddenly while clasping [me]0-i in [his]4204-him arms - " [Cruel , cruel deserter]7662-cruel , cruel deserter ! Oh , [Jane]146-jane , what did [I]4204-him feel when [I]4204-him discovered [you]146-jane had fled from [Thornfield]43-thornfield , and when [I]4204-him could nowhere find [you]146-jane ; and , after examining [[your]146-jane apartment]7663-your apartment , ascertained that [you]146-jane had taken no money , nor anything which could serve as an equivalent ! A pearl necklace [I]4204-him had given [you]146-jane lay untouched in its little casket ; [your]146-jane trunks were left corded and locked as they had been prepared for the bridal tour . What could [[my]4204-him darling]6201-my darling do , [I]4204-him asked , left destitute and penniless ? And what did [she]6201-my darling do ? Let [me]4204-him hear now . "[4204-him] Thus urged , [I]0-i began the narrative of [my]0-i experience for the last year . [I]0-i softened considerably what related to the three days of wandering and starvation , because to have told [him]4212-him all would have been to inflict unnecessary pain : the little [I]0-i did say lacerated [his]4212-him faithful heart deeper than [I]0-i wished . [I]0-i should not have left [him]4212-him thus , [he]4212-him said , without any means of making [my]0-i way : [I]0-i should have told [him]4212-him [my]0-i intention . [I]0-i should have confided in [him]4212-him : [he]4212-him would never have forced [me]0-i to be [[his]4212-him mistress]3030-his mistress . Violent as [he]4212-him had seemed in [his]4212-him despair , [he]4212-him , in truth , loved [me]0-i far too well and too tenderly to constitute [himself]4212-him [[my]0-i tyrant]4214-my tyrant : [he]4212-him would have given [me]0-i half [his]4212-him fortune , without demanding so much as a kiss in return , rather than [I]0-i should have flung [myself]0-i friendless on [the wide world]3334-the wide world . [I]0-i had endured , [he]4212-him was certain , more than [I]0-i had confessed to [him]4212-him . " Well , whatever [my]0-i sufferings had been , they were very short , "[0-i] [I]0-i answered : and then [I]0-i proceeded to tell [him]4212-him how [I]0-i had been received at [Moor House]104-moor house ; how [I]0-i had obtained the office of [schoolmistress]7116-schoolmistress , c. The accession of fortune , the discovery of [my]0-i relations , followed in due order . Of course , [St. John Rivers]177-st. john ' name came in frequently in the progress of [my]0-i tale . When [I]0-i had done , that name was immediately taken up . " [This St. John]452-st. john , then , is [[your]4212-him cousin]7665-your cousin ? "[177-st. john] " Yes . "[7116-schoolmistress] " [You]4212-him have spoken of [him]452-st. john often : do [you]4212-him like [him]452-st. john ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " [He]452-st. john was [a very good man]7666-a very good man , [sir]4374-sir ; [I]177-st. john could not help liking [him]452-st. john . "[177-st. john] " [A good man]4605-a good man . Does that mean [a respectable well - conducted man of fifty]7669-a respectable well - conducted man of fifty ? Or what does it mean ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " [St John]413-mr. st john was only twenty - nine , [sir]4374-sir . "[7116-schoolmistress] " ' [Jeune encore]453-jeune encore , ' as [the French]310-french say . Is [he]413-mr. st john [a person of low stature , phlegmatic , and plain]7671-a person of low stature , phlegmatic , and plain . [A person whose goodness consists rather in [his]413-mr. st john guiltlessness of vice , than in [his]413-mr. st john prowess in virtue]7672-a person whose goodness consists rather in his guiltlessness of vice , than in his prowess in virtue . "[177-st. john] " [He]413-mr. st john is untiringly active . Great and exalted deeds are what [he]413-mr. st john lives to perform . "[7116-schoolmistress] " But [his]413-mr. st john brain ? That is probably rather soft ? [He]413-mr. st john means well : but [you]4374-sir shrug [your]4374-sir shoulders to hear [him]413-mr. st john talk ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " [He]413-mr. st john talks little , [sir]4374-sir : what [he]413-mr. st john does say is ever to the point . [His]413-mr. st john brain is first - rate , [I]177-st. john should think not impressible , but vigorous . "[177-st. john] " Is [he]413-mr. st john [an able man]7674-an able man , then ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " Truly able . "[7116-schoolmistress] " [A thoroughly educated man]7675-a thoroughly educated man ? "[177-st. john] " [St. John]452-st. john is [an accomplished and profound scholar]7676-an accomplished and profound scholar . "[177-st. john] " [His]413-mr. st john manners , [I]7116-schoolmistress think , [you]4374-sir said are not to [your]4374-sir taste ? - priggish and parsonic ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " [I]7116-schoolmistress never mentioned [his]413-mr. st john manners ; but , unless [I]7116-schoolmistress had a very bad taste , [they]7677-they must suit it ; they are polished , calm , and gentlemanlike . "[7116-schoolmistress] " [His]413-mr. st john appearance , - [I]177-st. john forget what description [you]4374-sir gave of [his]413-mr. st john appearance ; - a sort of raw curate , half strangled with [his]413-mr. st john white neckcloth , and stilted up on [his]413-mr. st john thick - soled high - lows , eh ? "[177-st. john] " [St. John]452-st. john dresses well . [He]452-st. john is [a handsome man]6109-a handsome man : tall , fair , with blue eyes , and a Grecian profile . "[7116-schoolmistress] Aside . " Damn [him]452-st. john ! "[7116-schoolmistress] - To [me]0-i . " Did [you]4374-sir like [him]452-st. john , [Jane]146-jane ? "[7116-schoolmistress] " Yes , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]0-i liked [him]452-st. john : but [you]251-mr. rochester asked [me]0-i that before . "[0-i] [I]0-i perceived , of course , the drift of [[my]0-i interlocutor]1762-my interlocutor . Jealousy had got hold of [him]4218-him : [she]1762-my interlocutor stung [him]4218-him ; but the sting was salutary : it gave [him]4218-him respite from the gnawing fang of melancholy . [I]0-i would not , therefore , immediately charm the snake . " Perhaps [you]251-mr. rochester would rather not sit any longer on [my]1762-my interlocutor knee , [Miss Eyre]146-jane ? "[1762-my interlocutor] was the next somewhat unexpected observation . " Why not , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " The picture [you]251-mr. rochester have just drawn is suggestive of a rather too overwhelming contrast . [Your]251-mr. rochester words have delineated very prettily a graceful [Apollo]454-apollo : [he]454-apollo is present to [your]251-mr. rochester imagination , - tall , fair , blue - eyed , and with a Grecian profile . [Your]251-mr. rochester eyes dwell on [a Vulcan]7679-a vulcan , - [a real blacksmith , brown , broad - shouldered]7680-a real blacksmith , brown , broad - shouldered : and blind and lame into the bargain . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [I]1762-my interlocutor never thought of it , before ; but [you]251-mr. rochester certainly are rather like [Vulcan]455-vulcan , [sir]4374-sir . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Well , [you]251-mr. rochester can leave [me]4219-me , [ma'am]4353-ma'am : but before [you]251-mr. rochester go "[4219-me] and [he]4219-me retained [me]0-i by a firmer grasp than ever , " [you]251-mr. rochester will be pleased just to answer [me]4219-me a question or two . "[4219-me] [He]4219-me paused . " What questions , [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester ? "[4219-me] Then followed this cross - examination . " [St. John]452-st. john made [you]251-mr. rochester [schoolmistress of [Morton]105-morton]7683-schoolmistress of morton before [he]452-st. john knew [you]251-mr. rochester were [[his]452-st. john cousin]7684-his cousin ? "[4219-me] " Yes . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [You]251-mr. rochester would often see [him]452-st. john ? [He]452-st. john would visit [the school]4461-the school sometimes ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Daily . "[4219-me] " [He]452-st. john would approve of [your]251-mr. rochester plans , [Jane]146-jane ? [I]4219-me know [they]7686-they would be clever , for [you]251-mr. rochester are [a talented creature]7687-a talented creature ! "[4219-me] " [He]452-st. john approved of them - yes . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]452-st. john would discover many things in [you]251-mr. rochester [he]452-st. john could not have expected to find ? Some of [your]251-mr. rochester accomplishments are not ordinary . "[4219-me] " [I]4219-me do n't know about that . "[4219-me] " [You]251-mr. rochester had [a little cottage near [the school]4461-the school]7688-a little cottage near the school , [you]251-mr. rochester say : did [he]452-st. john ever come [there]4426-there to see [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Now and then ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Of an evening ? "[4219-me] " Once or twice . "[1762-my interlocutor] A pause . " How long did [you]251-mr. rochester reside with [him]452-st. john and [[his]452-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters after [the cousinship]7692-the cousinship was discovered ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Five months . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Did [Rivers]177-st. john spend much time with [the ladies of [[his]452-st. john family]1092-his family]7693-the ladies of his family ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Yes ; [the back parlour]7695-the back parlour was both [[his]452-st. john study]7696-his study and [ours]7697-ours : [he]452-st. john sat near the window , and [we]7697-ours by the table . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Did [he]452-st. john study much ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " A good deal . "[1762-my interlocutor] " What ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee . "[1762-my interlocutor] " And what did [you]251-mr. rochester do meantime ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [I]1762-my interlocutor learnt German , at first . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Did [he]452-st. john teach [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]452-st. john did not understand German . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Did [he]452-st. john teach [you]251-mr. rochester nothing ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " A little [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [Rivers]177-st. john taught [you]251-mr. rochester [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[1762-my interlocutor] " And [[his]452-st. john sisters]4311-his sisters also ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " No . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Only [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Only [me]1762-my interlocutor . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Did [you]251-mr. rochester ask to learn ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " No . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]452-st. john wished to teach [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Yes . "[1762-my interlocutor] A second pause . " Why did [he]452-st. john wish it ? Of what use could [Hindostanee]441-hindostanee be to [you]251-mr. rochester ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]452-st. john intended [me]1762-my interlocutor to go with [him]452-st. john to [India]63-india . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Ah ! here [I]1762-my interlocutor reach the root of the matter . [He]452-st. john wanted [you]251-mr. rochester to marry [him]452-st. john ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]452-st. john asked [me]1762-my interlocutor to marry [him]452-st. john . "[1762-my interlocutor] " That is a fiction - an impudent invention to vex [me]1762-my interlocutor . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [I]1762-my interlocutor beg [your]251-mr. rochester pardon , it is the literal truth : [he]452-st. john asked [me]1762-my interlocutor more than once , and was as stiff about urging [his]452-st. john point as ever [you]251-mr. rochester could be . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [Miss Eyre]146-jane , [I]1762-my interlocutor repeat it , [you]251-mr. rochester can leave [me]1762-my interlocutor . How often am [I]1762-my interlocutor to say the same thing ? Why do [you]251-mr. rochester remain pertinaciously perched on [my]1762-my interlocutor knee , when [I]1762-my interlocutor have given [you]251-mr. rochester notice to quit ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " Because [I]1762-my interlocutor am comfortable there . "[1762-my interlocutor] " No , [Jane]146-jane , [you]251-mr. rochester are not comfortable [there]4426-there , because [your]251-mr. rochester heart is not with [me]1762-my interlocutor : it is with [this cousin]7701-this cousin - [this St. John]177-st. john . Oh , till this moment , [I]1762-my interlocutor thought [my]1762-my interlocutor little [Jane]146-jane was all mine ! [I]1762-my interlocutor had a belief [she]146-jane loved [me]1762-my interlocutor even when [she]146-jane left [me]1762-my interlocutor : that was an atom of sweet in much bitter . Long as [we]7702-we have been parted , hot tears as [I]1762-my interlocutor have wept over [our]7702-we separation , [I]1762-my interlocutor never thought that while [I]1762-my interlocutor was mourning [her]146-jane , [she]146-jane was loving another ! But it is useless grieving . [Jane]146-jane , leave [me]1762-my interlocutor : go and marry [Rivers]177-st. john . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Shake [me]1762-my interlocutor off , then , [sir]4374-sir , - push [me]1762-my interlocutor away , for [I]1762-my interlocutor 'll not leave [you]4374-sir of [my]1762-my interlocutor own accord . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [Jane]146-jane , [I]1762-my interlocutor ever like [your]146-jane tone of voice : it still renews hope , it sounds so truthful . When [I]1762-my interlocutor hear it , it carries [me]1762-my interlocutor back a year . [I]1762-my interlocutor forget that [you]146-jane have formed a new tie . But [I]1762-my interlocutor am not [a fool]1546-a fool - go - "[1762-my interlocutor] " Where must [I]1762-my interlocutor go , [sir]4374-sir ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [Your]146-jane own way - with [the husband [you]146-jane have chosen]7706-the husband you have chosen . "[1762-my interlocutor] " Who is that ? "[1762-my interlocutor] " [You]146-jane know - this St. [John Rivers]177-st. john . "[1762-my interlocutor] " [He]177-st. john is not [[my]1762-my interlocutor husband]5014-my husband , nor ever will be . [He]177-st. john does not love [me]1762-my interlocutor : [I]1762-my interlocutor do not love [him]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john loves as [he]177-st. john CAN love , and that is not as [you]146-jane love [a beautiful young lady called [Rosamond]425-rosamond]7708-a beautiful young lady called rosamond . [He]177-st. john wanted to marry [me]1762-my interlocutor only because [he]177-st. john thought [I]1762-my interlocutor should make [[a suitable missionary]7709-a suitable missionary 's wife]7710-a suitable missionary 's wife , which [she]7708-a beautiful young lady called rosamond would not have done . [He]177-st. john is good and great , but severe ; and , for [me]1762-my interlocutor , cold as an iceberg . [He]177-st. john is not like [you]146-jane , [sir]4374-sir : [I]1762-my interlocutor am not happy at [his]177-st. john side , nor near [him]177-st. john , nor with [him]177-st. john . [He]177-st. john has no indulgence for [me]1762-my interlocutor - no fondness . [He]177-st. john sees nothing attractive in [me]1762-my interlocutor ; not even youth - only a few useful mental points . - Then [I]1762-my interlocutor must leave [you]4220-my blind but beloved master , [sir]4374-sir , to go to [him]177-st. john ? "[1762-my interlocutor] [I]0-i shuddered involuntarily , and clung instinctively closer to [[my]0-i blind but beloved master]4220-my blind but beloved master . [He]4220-my blind but beloved master smiled . " What , [Jane]146-jane ! Is this true ? Is such really the state of matters between [you]146-jane and [Rivers]177-st. john ? "[4220-my blind but beloved master] " Absolutely , [sir]4374-sir ! Oh , [you]4374-sir need not be jealous ! [I]4221-i wanted to tease [you]4374-sir a little to make [you]4374-sir less sad : [I]4221-i thought anger would be better than grief . But if [you]4374-sir wish [me]4221-i to love [you]4374-sir , could [you]4374-sir but see how much [I]4221-i DO love [you]4374-sir , [you]4374-sir would be proud and content . All [my]4221-i heart is [yours]4374-sir , [sir]4374-sir : it belongs to [you]4374-sir ; and with [you]4374-sir it would remain , were fate to exile the rest of [me]4221-i from [your]4374-sir presence for ever . "[4221-i] Again , as [he]4221-i kissed [me]0-i , painful thoughts darkened [his]4221-i aspect . " [My]4221-i scarred vision ! [My]4221-i crippled strength ! "[4221-i] [he]4221-i murmured regretfully . [I]0-i caressed , in order to soothe [him]4221-i . [I]0-i knew of what [he]4221-i was thinking , and wanted to speak for [him]4221-i , but dared not . As [he]4221-i turned aside [his]4221-i face a minute , [I]0-i saw a tear slide from under the sealed eyelid , and trickle down the manly cheek . [My]0-i heart swelled . " [I]4221-i am no better than the old lightning - struck chestnut - tree in [Thornfield orchard]7715-thornfield orchard , "[4221-i] [he]4221-i remarked ere long . " And what right would that ruin have to bid [a budding woodbine]7716-a budding woodbine cover its decay with freshness ? "[4221-i] " [You]0-i are no ruin , [sir]4374-sir - no lightning - struck tree : [you]0-i are green and vigorous . Plants will grow about [your]0-i roots , whether [you]0-i ask them or not , because they take delight in [your]0-i bountiful shadow ; and as they grow they will lean towards [you]0-i , and wind round [you]0-i , because [your]0-i strength offers [them]7718-them so safe a prop . "[4221-i] Again [he]4221-i smiled : [I]0-i gave [him]4221-i comfort . " [You]0-i speak of [friends]1114-friends , [Jane]146-jane ? "[4221-i] [he]4221-i asked . " Yes , of [friends]1114-friends , "[4221-i] [I]0-i answered rather hesitatingly : for [I]0-i knew [I]0-i meant more than [friends]1114-friends , but could not tell what other word to employ . [He]4221-i helped [me]0-i . " Ah ! [Jane]146-jane . But [I]4221-i want [a wife]5665-a wife . "[4221-i] " Do [you]4221-i , [sir]4374-sir ? "[4221-i] " Yes : is it news to [you]4221-i ? "[4221-i] " Of course : [you]4221-i said nothing about it before . "[4221-i] " Is it unwelcome news ? "[4221-i] " That depends on circumstances , [sir]4374-sir - on [your]4221-i choice . "[4221-i] " Which [you]4221-i shall make for [me]4221-i , [Jane]146-jane . [I]4221-i will abide by [your]4221-i decision . "[4221-i] " Choose then , [sir]4374-sir - [HER]5665-a wife WHO LOVES [YOU]4221-i BEST . "[4221-i] " [I]4221-i will at least choose - [HER]5665-a wife [I]4221-i LOVE BEST . [Jane]146-jane , will [you]4221-i marry [me]4221-i ? "[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[4221-i] " [A poor blind man]7726-a poor blind man , whom [you]4221-i will have to lead about by the hand ? "[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[4221-i] " [A crippled man]7728-a crippled man , twenty years older than [you]4221-i , whom [you]4221-i will have to wait on ? "[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]4374-sir . "[4221-i] " Truly , [Jane]146-jane ? "[4221-i] " Most truly , [sir]4374-sir . "[4221-i] " Oh ! [[my]4221-i darling]6201-my darling ! [God]448-god bless [you]146-jane and reward [you]146-jane ! "[4221-i] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , if ever [I]4221-i did a good deed in [my]4221-i life - if ever [I]4221-i thought a good thought - if ever [I]4221-i prayed a sincere and blameless prayer - if ever [I]4221-i wished a righteous wish , - [I]4221-i am rewarded now . To be [[your]251-mr. rochester wife]6190-your wife is , for [me]4221-i , to be as happy as [I]4221-i can be on [earth]478-earth . "[4221-i] " Because [you]251-mr. rochester delight in sacrifice . "[4221-i] " Sacrifice ! What do [I]4221-i sacrifice ? Famine for food , expectation for content . To be privileged to put [my]4221-i arms round what [I]4221-i value - to press [my]4221-i lips to what [I]4221-i love - to repose on what [I]4221-i trust : is that to make a sacrifice ? If so , then certainly [I]4221-i delight in sacrifice . "[4221-i] " And to bear with [my]4221-i infirmities , [Jane]146-jane : to overlook [my]4221-i deficiencies . "[4221-i] " Which are none , [sir]4374-sir , to [me]4221-i . [I]4221-i love [you]146-jane better now , when [I]4221-i can really be useful to [you]146-jane , than [I]4221-i did in [your]146-jane state of proud independence , when [you]146-jane disdained every part but that of [the giver]7735-the giver and [protector]7736-protector . "[4221-i] " Hitherto [I]4221-i have hated to be helped - to be led : henceforth , [I]4221-i feel [I]4221-i shall hate it no more . [I]4221-i did not like to put [my]4221-i hand into [a hireling]4198-a hireling 's , but it is pleasant to feel it circled by [Jane]146-jane 's little fingers . [I]4221-i preferred utter loneliness to the constant attendance of [servants]4989-servants ; but [Jane]146-jane 's soft ministry will be a perpetual joy . [Jane]146-jane suits [me]4221-i : do [I]4221-i suit [her]146-jane ? "[4221-i] " To the finest fibre of [my]4221-i nature , [sir]4374-sir . "[4221-i] " The case being so , [we]7740-we have nothing in [the world]484-the world to wait for : [we]7740-we must be married instantly . "[4221-i] [He]4223-he looked and spoke with eagerness : [his]4223-he old impetuosity was rising . " [We]7740-we must become [one flesh]7742-one flesh without any delay , [Jane]146-jane : there is but the licence to get - then [we]7740-we marry . "[4223-he] " [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , [I]4221-i have just discovered the sun is far declined from its meridian , and [Pilot]267-pilot is actually gone [home]509-home to [his]267-pilot dinner . Let [me]4221-i look at [your]4223-he watch . "[4221-i] " Fasten it into [your]146-jane girdle , [Janet]265-janet , and keep it henceforward : [I]4221-i have no use for it . "[4221-i] " It is nearly four o'clock in the afternoon , [sir]4374-sir . Do n't [you]4223-he feel hungry ? "[4221-i] " The third day from this must be [our]7740-we wedding - day , [Jane]146-jane . Never mind fine clothes and jewels , now : all that is not worth a fillip . "[4221-i] " The sun has dried up all the rain - drops , [sir]4374-sir . The breeze is still : it is quite hot . "[4221-i] " Do [you]146-jane know , [Jane]146-jane , [I]4221-i have [your]146-jane little pearl necklace at this moment fastened round [my]4221-i bronze scrag under [my]4221-i cravat ? [I]4221-i have worn it since the day [I]4221-i lost [my]4221-i only treasure , as a memento of [her]146-jane . "[4221-i] " [We]7740-we will go [home]509-home through [the wood]1204-the wood : that will be the shadiest way . "[4221-i] [He]4224-he pursued [his]4224-he own thoughts without heeding [me]0-i . " [Jane]146-jane ! [you]146-jane think [me]4221-i , [I]4221-i daresay , [an irreligious dog]7748-an irreligious dog : but [my]4221-i heart swells with gratitude to [the beneficent God of [this earth]4780-this earth]7749-the beneficent god of this earth just now . [He]7749-the beneficent god of this earth sees not as [man]4667-man sees , but far clearer : judges not as [man]4667-man judges , but far more wisely . [I]4221-i did wrong : [I]4221-i would have sullied [my]4221-i innocent flower - breathed guilt on its purity : [the Omnipotent]7753-the omnipotent snatched it from [me]4221-i . [I]4221-i , in [my]4221-i stiff - necked rebellion , almost cursed the dispensation : instead of bending to the decree , [I]4221-i defied it . Divine justice pursued its course ; disasters came thick on [me]4221-i : [I]4221-i was forced to pass through [the valley of the shadow of death]7754-the valley of the shadow of death . [HIS]7749-the beneficent god of this earth chastisements are mighty ; and one smote [me]4221-i which has humbled [me]4221-i for ever . [You]7755-you know [I]4221-i was proud of [my]4221-i strength : but what is it now , when [I]4221-i must give it over to foreign guidance , as [a child]4305-a child does its weakness ? Of late , [Jane]146-jane - only - only of late - [I]4221-i began to see and acknowledge the hand of [God]448-god in [my]4221-i doom . [I]4221-i began to experience remorse , repentance ; the wish for reconcilement to [[my]4221-i Maker]6198-my maker . [I]4221-i began sometimes to pray : very brief prayers they were , but very sincere . "[4221-i] Some days since : nay , [I]0-i can number them - four ; it was last Monday night , a singular mood came over [me]0-i : one in which grief replaced frenzy - sorrow , sullenness . [I]0-i had long had the impression that since [I]0-i could nowhere find [you]4225-you , [you]4225-you must be dead . Late that night - perhaps it might be between eleven and twelve o'clock - ere [I]0-i retired to [my]0-i dreary rest , [I]0-i supplicated [God]448-god , that , if it seemed good to [Him]448-god , [I]0-i might soon be taken from this life , and admitted to [that world]4783-that world to come , where there was still hope of rejoining [Jane]146-jane . " [I]0-i was in [[my]0-i own room]4855-my own room , and sitting by the window , which was open : it soothed [me]0-i to feel the balmy night - air ; though [I]0-i could see no stars and only by a vague , luminous haze , knew the presence of a moon . [I]0-i longed for [thee]4225-you , [Janet]265-janet ! Oh , [I]0-i longed for [thee]4225-you both with soul and flesh ! [I]0-i asked of [God]448-god , at once in anguish and humility , if [I]0-i had not been long enough desolate , afflicted , tormented ; and might not soon taste bliss and peace once more . That [I]0-i merited all [I]0-i endured , [I]0-i acknowledged - that [I]0-i could scarcely endure more , [I]0-i pleaded ; and the alpha and omega of [my]0-i heart 's wishes broke involuntarily from [my]0-i lips in the words - ' [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! ' "[0-i] " Did [you]0-i speak these words aloud ? "[146-jane] " [I]0-i did , [Jane]146-jane . If [any listener]7759-any listener had heard [me]0-i , [he]7759-any listener would have thought [me]0-i mad : [I]0-i pronounced them with such frantic energy . "[0-i] " And it was last Monday night , somewhere near midnight ? "[0-i] " Yes ; but the time is of no consequence : what followed is the strange point . [You]7760-you will think [me]0-i superstitious , - some superstition [I]0-i have in [my]0-i blood , and always had : nevertheless , this is true - true at least it is that [I]0-i heard what [I]0-i now relate . "[0-i] As [I]0-i exclaimed ' [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! [Jane]146-jane ! ' a voice - [I]0-i can not tell whence the voice came , but [I]0-i know whose voice it was - replied , ' [I]0-i am coming : wait for [me]0-i ; ' and a moment after , went whispering on the wind the words - ' Where are [you]146-jane ? ' " [I]387-reader 'll tell [you]7760-you , if [I]387-reader can , the idea , the picture these words opened to [my]387-reader mind : yet it is difficult to express what [I]387-reader want to express . [Ferndean]145-ferndean is buried , as [you]7760-you see , in a heavy wood , where sound falls dull , and dies unreverberating . ' Where are [you]146-jane ? ' seemed spoken amongst [mountains]7761-mountains ; for [I]387-reader heard a hill - sent echo repeat the words . Cooler and fresher at the moment the gale seemed to visit [my]387-reader brow : [I]387-reader could have deemed that in some wild , lone scene , [I]387-reader and [Jane]146-jane were meeting . In spirit , [I]387-reader believe [we]7762-we must have met . [You]7760-you no doubt were , at that hour , in unconscious sleep , [Jane]146-jane : perhaps [your]7760-you soul wandered from its cell to comfort [mine]0-i ; for those were [your]7760-you accents - as certain as [I]387-reader live - they were yours ! "[387-reader] [Reader]387-reader , it was on Monday night - near midnight - that [I]0-i too had received the mysterious summons : those were the very words by which [I]0-i replied to it . [I]0-i listened to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's narrative , but made no disclosure in return . The coincidence struck [me]0-i as too awful and inexplicable to be communicated or discussed . If [I]0-i told anything , [my]0-i tale would be such as must necessarily make a profound impression on the mind of [[my]0-i hearer]4227-my hearer : and that mind , yet from [its]4228-its sufferings too prone to gloom , needed not the deeper shade of the supernatural . [I]0-i kept these things then , and pondered them in [my]0-i heart . " [You]7760-you can not now wonder , "[4336-my master] continued [[my]0-i master]4336-my master , " that when [you]7760-you rose upon [me]4336-my master so unexpectedly last night , [I]4336-my master had difficulty in believing [you]7760-you any other than a mere voice and vision , something that would melt to silence and annihilation , as the midnight whisper and mountain echo had melted before . Now , [I]4336-my master thank [God]448-god ! [I]4336-my master know it to be otherwise . Yes , [I]4336-my master thank [God]448-god ! "[4336-my master] [He]4336-my master put [me]0-i off [his]4336-my master knee , rose , and reverently lifting [his]4336-my master hat from [his]4336-my master brow , and bending [his]4336-my master sightless eyes to the earth , [he]4336-my master stood in mute devotion . Only the last words of the worship were audible . " [I]4336-my master thank [[my]4336-my master Maker]6198-my maker , that , in the midst of judgment , [he]6198-my maker has remembered mercy . [I]4336-my master humbly entreat [[my]4336-my master Redeemer]7764-my redeemer to give [me]4336-my master strength to lead henceforth a purer life than [I]4336-my master have done hitherto ! "[4336-my master] Then [he]4336-my master stretched [his]4336-my master hand out to be led . [I]0-i took that dear hand , held it a moment to [my]0-i lips , then let it pass round [my]0-i shoulder : being so much lower of stature than [he]4336-my master , [I]0-i served both for [his]4336-my master prop and guide . [We]4230-we entered [the wood]1204-the wood , and wended homeward . CHAPTER XXXVIII - [CONCLUSION Reader]387-reader , [I]0-i married [him]4336-my master . A quiet wedding [we]4230-we had : [he]4336-my master and [I]0-i , [the parson]4232-the parson and [clerk]4953-clerk , were alone present . When [we]4230-we got back from [church]949-church , [I]0-i went into [the kitchen of [the manor - house]7614-the manor - house]4235-the kitchen of the manor - house , where [Mary]233-mary was cooking the dinner and [John]177-st. john cleaning the knives , and [I]0-i said - " [Mary]233-mary , [I]0-i have been married to [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester this morning . "[0-i] [The housekeeper]762-the housekeeper and [[her]762-the housekeeper husband]620-her husband were [both of that decent phlegmatic order of people]4239-both of that decent phlegmatic order of people , to whom one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece of news without incurring the danger of having [one]4415-one 's ears pierced by some shrill ejaculation , and subsequently stunned by a torrent of wordy wonderment . [Mary]233-mary did look up , and [she]233-mary did stare at [me]0-i : the ladle with which [she]233-mary was basting a pair of chickens roasting at the fire , did for some three minutes hang suspended in air ; and for the same space of time [John]177-st. john 's knives also had rest from the polishing process : but [Mary]233-mary , bending again over the roast , said only - " Have [you]177-st. john , [Miss]7765-miss ? Well , for sure ! "[233-mary] A short time after [she]233-mary pursued - " [I]233-mary seed [you]177-st. john go out with [the master]540-the master , but [I]233-mary did n't know [you]177-st. john were gone to [church]949-church to be [we]7768-we d ; "[233-mary] and [she]233-mary basted away . [John]177-st. john , when [I]0-i turned to [him]177-st. john , was grinning from ear to ear . " [I]177-st. john telled [Mary]233-mary how it would be , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john said : " [I]177-st. john knew what [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward "[177-st. john] [John]177-st. john was [an old servant]4241-an old servant , and had known [[his]177-st. john master]701-his master when [he]701-his master was [the cadet of [the house]4322-the house]4243-the cadet of the house , therefore , [he]177-st. john often gave [him]701-his master [his]177-st. john Christian name - " [I]177-st. john knew what [Mr. Edward]273-mr. edward would do ; and [I]177-st. john was certain [he]273-mr. edward would not wait long neither : and [he]273-mr. edward 's done right , for aught [I]177-st. john know . [I]177-st. john wish [you]0-i joy , [Miss]7769-miss ! "[177-st. john] and [he]177-st. john politely pulled [his]177-st. john forelock . " Thank [you]0-i , [John]177-st. john . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester told [me]177-st. john to give [you]177-st. john and [Mary]233-mary this . "[177-st. john] [I]0-i put into [his]177-st. john hand a five - pound note . Without waiting to hear more , [I]0-i left [the kitchen]658-the kitchen . In passing the door of [that sanctum]4246-that sanctum some time after , [I]0-i caught the words - " [She]233-mary 'll happen do better for [him]177-st. john nor [ony o't ' grand ladies]7770-ony o't ' grand ladies . "[0-i] And again , " If [she]233-mary ben't one o ' th ' handsomest , [she]233-mary 's noan faal and varry good - natured ; and [i]0-i ' [his]177-st. john een [she]233-mary 's fair beautiful , onybody may see that . "[0-i] [I]0-i wrote to [Moor House]104-moor house and to [Cambridge]136-cambridge immediately , to say what [I]0-i had done : fully explaining also why [I]0-i had thus acted . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary]233-mary approved the step unreservedly . [Diana]400-diana announced that [she]400-diana would just give [me]0-i time to get over the honeymoon , and then [she]400-diana would come and see [me]0-i . " [She]400-diana had better not wait till then , [Jane]146-jane , "[251-mr. rochester] said [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , when [I]0-i read [her]400-diana letter to [him]251-mr. rochester ; " if [she]400-diana does , [she]400-diana will be too late , for [our]7771-our honeymoon will shine [our]7771-our life long : its beams will only fade over [your]146-jane grave or [mine]0-i . "[251-mr. rochester] How [St. John]177-st. john received the news , [I]0-i do n't know : [he]177-st. john never answered the letter in which [I]0-i communicated it : yet six months after [he]177-st. john wrote to [me]0-i , without , however , mentioning [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester 's name or alluding to [my]0-i marriage . [His]177-st. john letter was then calm , and , though very serious , kind . [He]177-st. john has maintained a regular , though not frequent , correspondence ever since : [he]177-st. john hopes [I]0-i am happy , and trusts [I]0-i am not of those who live without [God]448-god in [the world]484-the world , and only mind earthly things . [You]0-i have not quite forgotten [little Adele]259-adele , have [you]0-i , [reader]496-reader ? [I]0-i had not ; [I]0-i soon asked and obtained leave of [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester , to go and see [her]259-adele at [the school where [he]251-mr. rochester had placed [her]259-adele]4249-the school where he had placed her . [Her]259-adele frantic joy at beholding [me]0-i again moved [me]0-i much . [She]259-adele looked pale and thin : [she]259-adele said [she]259-adele was not happy . [I]0-i found the rules of [the establishment]4599-the establishment were too strict , its course of study too severe for [a child of]4251-a child of [her]259-adele age : [I]0-i took [her]259-adele [home]509-home with [me]0-i . [I]0-i meant to become [[her]259-adele governess]1479-her governess once more , but [I]0-i soon found this impracticable ; [my]0-i time and cares were now required by another - [[my]0-i husband]5014-my husband needed them all . So [I]0-i sought out [a school conducted on a more indulgent system , and near enough to permit of [my]0-i visiting [her]259-adele]4255-a school conducted on a more indulgent system , and near enough to permit of my visiting her often , and bringing [her]259-adele [home]509-home sometimes . [I]0-i took care [she]259-adele should never want for anything that could contribute to [her]259-adele comfort : [she]259-adele soon settled in [[her]259-adele new abode]1202-her new abode , became very happy [there]4426-there , and made fair progress in [her]259-adele studies . As [she]259-adele grew up , a sound English education corrected in a great measure [her]259-adele French defects ; and when [she]259-adele left [school]537-school , [I]0-i found in [her]259-adele a pleasing and obliging companion : docile , good - tempered , and well - principled . By [her]259-adele grateful attention to [me]0-i and [mine]0-i , [she]259-adele has long since well repaid any little kindness [I]0-i ever had it in [my]0-i power to offer [her]259-adele . [My]0-i tale draws to its close : one word respecting [my]0-i experience of married life , and one brief glance at the fortunes of [those whose names have most frequently recurred in this narrative]4260-those whose names have most frequently recurred in this narrative , and [I]0-i have done . [I]0-i have now been married ten years . [I]0-i know what it is to live entirely for and with what [I]0-i love best on [earth]478-earth . [I]0-i hold [myself]0-i supremely blest - blest beyond what language can express ; because [I]0-i am [[my]0-i husband]5014-my husband 's life as fully is [he]5014-my husband is [mine]0-i . [No woman]1927-no woman was ever nearer to [[her]1927-no woman mate]4264-her mate than [I]0-i am : ever more absolutely bone of [his]5014-my husband bone and flesh of [his]5014-my husband flesh . [I]0-i know no weariness of [[my]0-i [Edward]273-mr. edward]4265-my edward 's society : [he]5014-my husband knows none of [mine]0-i , any more than [we]4266-us each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in [our]4266-us separate bosoms ; consequently , [we]4266-us are ever together . To be together is for [us]4266-us to be at once as free as in solitude , as gay as in company . [We]4266-us talk , [I]0-i believe , all day long : to talk to [each other]724-each other is but a more animated and an audible thinking . All [my]0-i confidence is bestowed on [him]5014-my husband , all [his]5014-my husband confidence is devoted to [me]0-i ; [we]4266-us are precisely suited in character - perfect concord is the result . [Mr. Rochester]251-mr. rochester continued blind the first two years of [our]4266-us union ; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew [us]4266-us so very near - that knit [us]4266-us so very close : for [I]0-i was then [his]5014-my husband vision , as [I]0-i am still [his]5014-my husband right hand . Literally , [I]0-i was what [he]5014-my husband often called [me]0-i the apple of [his]5014-my husband eye . [He]5014-my husband saw nature - [he]5014-my husband saw books through [me]0-i ; and never did [I]0-i weary of gazing for [his]5014-my husband behalf , and of putting into words the effect of field , tree , [town]5534-town , [river]4269-river , cloud , sunbeam - of [the landscape before [us]4266-us]4270-the landscape before us ; of the weather round [us]4266-us - and impressing by sound on [his]5014-my husband ear what light could no longer stamp on [his]5014-my husband eye . Never did [I]0-i weary of reading to [him]5014-my husband ; never did [I]0-i weary of conducting [him]5014-my husband where [he]5014-my husband wished to go : of doing for [him]5014-my husband what [he]5014-my husband wished to be done . And there was a pleasure in [my]0-i services , most full , most exquisite , even though sad - because [he]5014-my husband claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation . [He]5014-my husband loved [me]0-i so truly , that [he]5014-my husband knew no reluctance in profiting by [my]0-i attendance : [he]5014-my husband felt [I]0-i loved [him]5014-my husband so fondly , that to yield that attendance was to indulge [my]0-i sweetest wishes . One morning at the end of the two years , as [I]0-i was writing a letter to [his]5014-my husband dictation , [he]5014-my husband came and bent over [me]0-i , and said - " [Jane]146-jane , have [you]0-i a glittering ornament round [your]0-i neck ? "[5014-my husband] [I]0-i had a gold watch - chain : [I]0-i answered " Yes . "[5014-my husband] " And have [you]5014-my husband a pale blue dress on ? "[0-i] [I]0-i had . [He]5014-my husband informed [me]0-i then , that for some time [he]5014-my husband had fancied the obscurity clouding one eye was becoming less dense ; and that now [he]5014-my husband was sure of it . [He]5014-my husband and [I]0-i went up to [London]31-london . [He]5014-my husband had the advice of [an eminent oculist]4271-an eminent oculist ; and [he]5014-my husband eventually recovered the sight of that one eye . [He]5014-my husband can not now see very distinctly : [he]5014-my husband can not read or write much ; but [he]5014-my husband can find [his]5014-my husband way without being led by the hand : the sky is no longer a blank to [him]5014-my husband - [the earth]663-the earth no longer a void . When [[his]5014-my husband first - born]4273-his first - born was put into [his]5014-my husband arms , [he]5014-my husband could see that [the boy]4274-the boy had inherited [his]5014-my husband own eyes , as they once were - large , brilliant , and black . On that occasion , [he]5014-my husband again , with a full heart , acknowledged that [God]448-god had tempered judgment with mercy . [[My]0-i Edward]4265-my edward and [I]0-i , then , are happy : and the more so , because [those [we]4277-we most love]4276-those we most love are happy likewise . [Diana]400-diana and [Mary Rivers]407-mary are both married : alternately , once every year , [they]4278-they come to see [us]4277-we , and [we]4277-we go to see [them]4278-they . [[Diana]400-diana 's husband]4279-diana 's husband is [a captain in the navy]4280-a captain in the navy , [a gallant officer]4281-a gallant officer and [a good man]4605-a good man . [Mary]407-mary 's is [a clergyman]4606-a clergyman , [a college friend of [[her]407-mary brother]6047-her brother 's]4284-a college friend of her brother 's , and , from [his]6047-her brother attainments and principles , worthy of the connection . Both [Captain Fitzjames]459-captain fitzjames and [Mr. Wharton]460-mr. wharton love [[their]4278-they wives]2116-their wives , and are loved by [them]2116-their wives . As to [St. John Rivers]177-st. john , [he]177-st. john left [England]21-england : [he]177-st. john went to [India]63-india . [He]177-st. john entered on the path [he]177-st. john had marked for [himself]177-st. john ; [he]177-st. john pursues it still . [A more resolute , indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks and dangers]4287-a more resolute , indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks and dangers . Firm , faithful , and devoted , full of energy , and zeal , and truth , [he]177-st. john labours for [his]177-st. john race ; [he]177-st. john clears [their]4288-their painful way to improvement ; [he]177-st. john hews down like a giant the prejudices of creed and caste that encumber it . [He]177-st. john may be stern ; [he]177-st. john may be exacting ; [he]177-st. john may be ambitious yet ; but [his]4289-his is the sternness of [the warrior Greatheart , who guards [[his]4290-the warrior greatheart , who guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of apollyon pilgrim convoy]4291-his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of [Apollyon]461-apollyon]4290-the warrior greatheart , who guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of apollyon . [His]4292-his is the exaction of [the apostle]4293-the apostle , who speaks but for [Christ]148-christ , when [he]4293-the apostle says - " Whosoever will come after [me]4293-the apostle , let [him]177-st. john deny [himself]177-st. john , and take up [his]177-st. john cross and follow [me]4293-the apostle . "[4293-the apostle] [His]4292-his is the ambition of [the high master]4294-the high master - spirit , which aims to fill a place in the first rank of [those who are redeemed from [the earth]663-the earth - who stand without fault before the throne of [God]448-god]4295-those who are redeemed from the earth - who stand without fault before the throne of god , who share the last mighty victories of [the Lamb , who are called , and chosen , and faithful]4297-the lamb , who are called , and chosen , and faithful . [St. John]177-st. john is unmarried : [he]177-st. john never will marry now . [Himself]177-st. john has hitherto sufficed to the toil , and the toil draws near its close : [his]177-st. john glorious sun hastens to its setting . The last letter [I]0-i received from [him]177-st. john drew from [my]0-i eyes human tears , and yet filled [my]0-i heart with divine joy : [he]177-st. john anticipated [his]177-st. john sure reward , [his]177-st. john incorruptible crown . [I]0-i know that [a stranger]799-a stranger 's hand will write to [me]0-i next , to say that [the good and faithful servant]4299-the good and faithful servant has been called at length into the joy of [[his]4299-the good and faithful servant Lord]4300-his lord . And why weep for this ? No fear of death will darken [St. John]177-st. john 's last hour : [his]177-st. john mind will be unclouded , [his]177-st. john heart will be undaunted , [his]177-st. john hope will be sure , [his]177-st. john faith steadfast . [His]177-st. john own words are a pledge of this - " [[My]177-st. john Master]4336-my master , "[177-st. john] [he]177-st. john says , " has forewarned [me]177-st. john . Daily [He]177-st. john announces more distinctly , - ' Surely [I]177-st. john come quickly ! ' and hourly [I]177-st. john more eagerly respond , - ' Amen ; even so come , [Lord Jesus]416-jesus ! ' "[177-st. john]