Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

79 the house/The house
76 the room/The room
56 here
55 home
45 the hall/the Hall/The hall
29 there
26 school
26 upstairs
23 the schoolroom
22 the library/The library

GPE

13 there
6 town
6 the village
4 the district
3 the place
3 this place/This place
2 towns
2 here
2 the town
2 Spanish Town

LOC

43 the world/The world/the World
10 earth
10 the earth
7 the hill
6 heaven/Heaven
6 this world/This world
6 the wood
5 the sea
5 the moor
4 the woods

PER

306 sir/Sir
33 no one/No one
33 one/One
31 ma'am
28 my master/My Master/My master/my Master
26 the ladies/The ladies
25 the servants/The servants
23 reader/Reader
22 man/Man
21 a man

ORG

2 The school/the school
1 the whole school
1 the institution
1 that institution
1 my own society
1 a charitable institution
1 that church
1 the ministry
1 The -th regiment
1 the establishment

VEH

16 the carriage/The carriage
14 the coach/The coach
5 a coach
5 the vehicle/The vehicle
3 a carriage
2 carriage
1 The two ships
1 his carriage
1 the coming coach
1 the ship

Text

 [Jane Eyre]_146-jane by [Charlotte Bronte]_{147-charlotte bronte} PREFACE A preface to the first edition of " [Jane Eyre]_146-jane "_[0-i] being unnecessary , [I]_0-i gave none : this second edition demands a few words both of acknowledgment and miscellaneous remark . [My]_0-i thanks are due in three quarters . To [the Public]_{462-the public} , for the indulgent ear it has inclined to a plain tale with few pretensions . To the Press , for [the fair field [its]_464-its honest suffrage]_{463-the fair field its honest suffrage} has opened to an obscure aspirant . To [[my]_0-i Publishers]_{465-my publishers} , for the aid [their]_{465-my publishers} tact , [their]_{465-my publishers} energy , [their]_{465-my publishers} practical sense and frank liberality have afforded [an unknown and unrecommended Author]_{466-an unknown and unrecommended author} . The Press and [the Public]_{462-the public} are but vague personifications for [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i must thank [them]_{465-my publishers} in vague terms ; but [[my]_0-i Publishers]_{465-my publishers} are definite : so are [certain generous critics who have encouraged [me]_0-i as [only large - hearted and high - minded men]_{470-only large - hearted and high - minded men} know how to encourage [a struggling stranger]_{471-a struggling stranger}]_{469-certain generous critics who have encouraged me as only large - hearted and high - minded men know how to encourage a struggling stranger} ; to [them]_{469-certain generous critics who have encouraged me as only large - hearted and high - minded men know how to encourage a struggling stranger} , [i.e.]_472-i.e. , to [[my]_0-i Publishers]_{465-my publishers} and [the select Reviewers]_{474-the select reviewers} , [I]_0-i say cordially , [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} , [I]_0-i thank [you]_{475-gentlemen} from [my]_0-i heart . Having thus acknowledged what [I]_0-i owe those who have aided and approved [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i turn to [another class]_{476-another class} ; a small one , so far as [I]_0-i know , but not , therefore , to be overlooked . [I]_0-i mean [the timorous or carping few who doubt the tendency of such books]_{477-the timorous or carping few who doubt the tendency of such books} as " [Jane Eyre]_146-jane : "_[0-i] in whose eyes whatever is unusual is wrong ; whose ears detect in each protest against bigotry - that parent of crime - an insult to piety , that regent of God on [earth]_478-earth . [I]_0-i would suggest to [such doubters certain obvious distinctions]_{479-such doubters certain obvious distinctions} ; [I]_0-i would remind [them]_480-them of certain simple truths . Conventionality is not morality . Self - righteousness is not religion . To attack the first is not to assail the last . To pluck the mask from the face of [the Pharisee]_{481-the pharisee} , is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns . These things and deeds are diametrically opposed : they are as distinct as is vice from virtue . [Men]_482-men too often confound [them]_480-them : [they]_480-them should not be confounded : appearance should not be mistaken for truth ; narrow human doctrines , that only tend to elate and magnify a few , should not be substituted for the world - redeeming creed of [Christ]_148-christ . There is - [I]_0-i repeat it - a difference ; and it is a good , and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between [them]_483-them . [The world]_{484-the world} may not like to see these ideas dissevered , for it has been accustomed to blend them ; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth - to let white - washed walls vouch for [clean shrines]_{485-clean shrines} . It may hate [him]_486-him who dares to scrutinise and expose - to rase the gilding , and show base metal under it - to penetrate the sepulchre , and reveal charnel relics : but hate as it will , it is indebted to [him]_486-him . [Ahab]_149-ahab did not like [Micaiah]_150-micaiah , because [he]_150-micaiah never prophesied good concerning [him]_150-micaiah , but evil ; probably [he]_149-ahab liked [the sycophant son of [Chenaannah]_{151-chenaannah}]_{487-the sycophant son of chenaannah} better ; yet might [Ahab]_149-ahab have escaped a bloody death , had [he]_149-ahab but stopped [his]_149-ahab ears to flattery , and opened them to faithful counsel . There is [a man in [our]_489-our own days whose words are not framed to tickle delicate ears : who , to [my]_0-i thinking , comes before [the great ones of society]_{490-the great ones of society} , much as [the son of [Imlah]_152-imlah]_{491-the son of imlah} came before [the throned Kings of [Judah]_1-judah and [Israel]_2-israel]_{492-the throned kings of judah and israel} ; and who speaks truth as deep , with a power as prophet - like and as vital - a mien as dauntless and as daring . Is [the satirist of " Vanity Fair "]_{4301-the satirist of " vanity fair "[4301-the satirist of " vanity fair "]} admired in high places ? [I]_0-i can not tell ; but [I]_0-i think if [some of those amongst whom [he]_494-his hurls the Greek fire of [his]_494-his sarcasm , and over whom [he]_494-his flashes the levin - brand of [his]_494-his denunciation]_{493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation}]_{488-a man in our own days whose words are not framed to tickle delicate ears : who , to my thinking , comes before the great ones of society , much as the son of imlah came before the throned kings of judah and israel ; and who speaks truth as deep , with a power as prophet - like and as vital - a mien as dauntless and as daring . is the satirist of " vanity fair " admired in high places ? i can not tell ; but i think if some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation} , were to take [his]_494-his warnings in time - [they]_{493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation} or [their]_{493-some of those amongst whom he hurls the greek fire of his sarcasm , and over whom he flashes the levin - brand of his denunciation} seed might yet escape a fatal Rimoth - [Gilead]_3-gilead . Why have [I]_0-i alluded to [this man]_{495-this man} ? [I]_0-i have alluded to [him]_494-his , [Reader]_496-reader , because [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i see in [him]_494-his an intellect profounder and more unique than [[his]_494-his contemporaries]_{497-his contemporaries} have yet recognised ; because [I]_0-i regard [him]_494-his as [the first social regenerator of the day]_{498-the first social regenerator of the day} - as [the very master of [that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things]_{500-that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things}]_{499-the very master of that working corps who would restore to rectitude the warped system of things} ; because [I]_0-i think [no commentator]_{501-no commentator} on [his]_494-his writings has yet found the comparison that suits [him]_494-his , the terms which rightly characterise [his]_494-his talent . [They]_502-they say [he]_494-his is like [Fielding]_153-fielding : [they]_502-they talk of [his]_494-his wit , humour , comic powers . [He]_494-his resembles [Fielding]_153-fielding as an eagle does a vulture : [Fielding]_153-fielding could stoop on carrion , but [Thackeray]_{154-thackeray} never does . [His]_494-his wit is bright , [his]_494-his humour attractive , but both bear the same relation to [his]_494-his serious genius that the mere lambent sheet - lightning playing under the edge of the summer - cloud does to the electric death - spark hid in its womb . Finally , [I]_0-i have alluded to [Mr. Thackeray]_{154-thackeray} , because to [him]_{154-thackeray} - if [he]_{154-thackeray} will accept the tribute of [a total stranger]_{503-a total stranger} - [I]_0-i have dedicated this second edition of " [JANE EYRE]_146-jane . "_{[155-currer bell]} [CURRER BELL]_{155-currer bell} . December 21st , 1847 . NOTE TO THE THIRD EDITION [I]_0-i avail [myself]_0-i of the opportunity which a third edition of " [Jane Eyre]_146-jane "_{[155-currer bell]} affords [me]_0-i , of again addressing a word to [the Public]_{462-the public} , to explain that [my]_0-i claim to the title of [novelist]_505-novelist rests on this one work alone . If , therefore , the authorship of other works of fiction has been attributed to [me]_0-i , an honour is awarded where it is not merited ; and consequently , denied where it is justly due . This explanation will serve to rectify mistakes which may already have been made , and to prevent future errors . [CURRER BELL]_{155-currer bell} . April 13th , 1848 . CHAPTER [I]_0-i There was no possibility of taking a walk that day . [We]_506-we had been wandering , indeed , in [the leafless shrubbery]_{507-the leafless shrubbery} an hour in the morning ; but since dinner [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , when there was [no company]_{508-no company} , dined early the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre , and a rain so penetrating , that further out - door exercise was now out of the question . [I]_0-i was glad of it : [I]_0-i never liked long walks , especially on chilly afternoons : dreadful to [me]_0-i was the coming [home]_509-home in the raw twilight , with nipped fingers and toes , and a heart saddened by the chidings of [Bessie]_195-bessie , [the nurse]_{510-the nurse} , and humbled by the consciousness of [my]_0-i physical inferiority to [Eliza]_158-eliza , [John]_159-john , and [Georgiana Reed]_{160-georgiana} . The said [Eliza]_158-eliza , [John]_159-john , and [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} were now clustered round [[their]_511-their mama]_{512-their mama} in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} : [she]_{512-their mama} lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside , and with [[her]_{512-their mama} darlings]_{514-her darlings} about [her]_{512-their mama} for the time neither quarrelling nor crying looked perfectly happy . [Me]_0-i , [she]_{512-their mama} had dispensed from joining [the group]_{515-the group} ; saying , " [She]_{512-their mama} regretted to be under the necessity of keeping [me]_{512-their mama} at a distance ; but that until [she]_{512-their mama} heard from [Bessie]_195-bessie , and could discover by [her]_{512-their mama} own observation , that [I]_{512-their mama} was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition , a more attractive and sprightly manner - something lighter , franker , more natural , as it were - [she]_{512-their mama} really must exclude [me]_{512-their mama} from privileges intended only for [contented , happy , little children]_{4302-contented , happy , little children} . "_{[512-their mama]} " What does [Bessie]_195-bessie say [I]_0-i have done ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_{512-their mama} do n't like [cavillers]_{4303-cavillers} or [questioners]_{4304-questioners} ; besides , there is something truly forbidding in [a child]_{4305-a child} taking up [her]_{4305-a child} elders in that manner . Be seated somewhere ; and until [you]_146-jane can speak pleasantly , remain silent . "_{[512-their mama]} [A breakfast - room]_{516-a breakfast - room} adjoined [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} , [I]_0-i slipped in there . [It]_{516-a breakfast - room} contained a bookcase : [I]_0-i soon possessed [myself]_0-i of a volume , taking care that it should be one stored with pictures . [I]_0-i mounted into the window - seat : gathering up [my]_0-i feet , [I]_0-i sat cross - legged , like [a Turk]_{518-a turk} ; and , having drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close , [I]_0-i was shrined in double retirement . Folds of scarlet drapery shut in [my]_0-i view to the right hand ; to the left were the clear panes of glass , protecting , but not separating [me]_0-i from the drear November day . At intervals , while turning over the leaves of [my]_0-i book , [I]_0-i studied the aspect of that winter afternoon . Afar , it offered a pale blank of mist and cloud ; near [a scene of wet lawn and storm - beat shrub]_{519-a scene of wet lawn and storm - beat shrub} , with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and lamentable blast . [I]_0-i returned to [my]_0-i book - [Bewick]_161-bewick 's History of [British Birds]_{4-british birds} : the letterpress thereof [I]_0-i cared little for , generally speaking ; and yet there were certain introductory pages that , child as [I]_0-i was , [I]_0-i could not pass quite as a blank . They were those which treat of the haunts of [sea - fowl]_{520-sea - fowl} ; of " the solitary rocks and promontories "_{[520-sea - fowl]} by [them]_{520-sea - fowl} only inhabited ; of [the coast of [Norway]_5-norway]_{521-the coast of norway} , studded with isles from [its]_{521-the coast of norway} [southern extremity]_{522-southern extremity} , [the Lindeness]_{6-the lindeness} , or [Naze]_7-naze , to [the North Cape]_{8-the north cape} - " Where [the Northern Ocean]_{9-the northern ocean} , in vast whirls , Boils round [the naked , melancholy isles Of [farthest Thule]_{10-farthest thule}]_{4306-the naked , melancholy isles of farthest thule} ; and the Atlantic surge Pours in among [the stormy Hebrides]_{4307-the stormy hebrides} . "_{[520-sea - fowl]} Nor could [I]_0-i pass unnoticed the suggestion of [the bleak shores of [Lapland]_11-lapland]_{523-the bleak shores of lapland} , [Siberia]_12-siberia , [Spitzbergen]_{13-spitzbergen} , [Nova Zembla]_{14-nova zembla} , [Iceland]_15-iceland , [Greenland]_16-greenland , with " [the vast sweep of [the Arctic Zone]_{4309-the arctic zone}]_{4308-the vast sweep of the arctic zone} , and [those forlorn regions of dreary space]_{4310-those forlorn regions of dreary space} , - that reservoir of frost and snow , where firm fields of ice , the accumulation of centuries of winters , glazed in Alpine heights above heights , surround the pole , and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold . "_{[520-sea - fowl]} Of these death - white realms [I]_0-i formed an idea of [my]_0-i own : shadowy , like all the half - comprehended notions that float dim through [children]_524-children 's brains , but strangely impressive . The words in these introductory pages connected themselves with the succeeding vignettes , and gave significance to the rock standing up alone in [a sea of billow and spray]_{525-a sea of billow and spray} ; to the broken boat stranded on [a desolate coast]_{526-a desolate coast} ; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing through bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking . [I]_0-i can not tell what sentiment haunted [the quite solitary churchyard]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} , with [its]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} inscribed headstone ; [its]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} gate , [its]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} two trees , [its]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} low horizon , girdled by a broken wall , and [its]_{527-the quite solitary churchyard} newly - risen crescent , attesting the hour of eventide . [The two ships]_{528-the two ships} becalmed on [a torpid sea]_{529-a torpid sea} , [I]_0-i believed to be marine phantoms . [The fiend]_{530-the fiend} pinning down [the thief]_{531-the thief} 's pack behind [him]_{530-the fiend} , [I]_0-i passed over quickly : it was an object of terror . So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock , surveying [a distant crowd surrounding a gallows]_{532-a distant crowd surrounding a gallows} . Each picture told a story ; mysterious often to [my]_0-i undeveloped understanding and imperfect feelings , yet ever profoundly interesting : as interesting as the tales [Bessie]_195-bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings , when [she]_195-bessie chanced to be in good humour ; and when , having brought [her]_195-bessie ironing - table to the nursery hearth , [she]_195-bessie allowed [us]_533-us to sit about it , and while [she]_195-bessie got up [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's lace frills , and crimped [her]_195-bessie nightcap borders , fed [our]_533-us eager attention with passages of love and adventure taken from old fairy tales and other ballads ; or as at a later period [I]_0-i discovered from the pages of [Pamela]_162-pamela , and [Henry]_163-henry , [Earl of Moreland]_{164-earl of moreland} . With [Bewick]_161-bewick on [my]_0-i knee , [I]_0-i was then happy : happy at least in [my]_0-i way . [I]_0-i feared nothing but interruption , and that came too soon . [The breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} door opened . " Boh ! [Madam Mope]_{165-madam mope} ! "_[159-john] cried the voice of [John Reed]_159-john ; then [he]_159-john paused : [he]_159-john found [the room]_{535-the room} apparently empty . " Where the dickens is [she]_195-bessie ! "_[159-john] [he]_159-john continued . " [Lizzy]_158-eliza ! [Georgy]_166-georgy ! calling to [[his]_166-georgy sisters]_{4311-his sisters} [Joan]_167-joan is not [here]_4312-here : tell [mama]_4313-mama [she]_195-bessie is run out into the rain - bad animal ! "_[159-john] " It is well [I]_0-i drew the curtain , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i wished fervently [he]_159-john might not discover [my]_0-i hiding - place : nor would [John Reed]_159-john have found it out [himself]_159-john ; [he]_159-john was not quick either of vision or conception ; but [Eliza]_158-eliza just put [her]_158-eliza head in at the door , and said at once - " [She]_158-eliza is in the window - seat , to be sure , [Jack]_168-jack . "_[158-eliza] And [I]_0-i came out immediately , for [I]_0-i trembled at the idea of being dragged forth by [the said Jack]_168-jack . " What do [you]_159-john want ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked , with awkward diffidence . " Say , ' What do [you]_159-john want , [Master Reed]_{169-mr. reed} ? ' "_[0-i] was the answer . " [I]_159-john want [you]_0-i to come here ; "_[159-john] and seating [himself]_159-john in an arm - chair , [he]_159-john intimated by a gesture that [I]_0-i was to approach and stand before [him]_159-john . [John Reed]_159-john was [a schoolboy of fourteen years old]_{536-a schoolboy of fourteen years old} ; four years older than [I]_0-i , for [I]_0-i was but ten : large and stout for [his]_159-john age , with a dingy and unwholesome skin ; thick lineaments in a spacious visage , heavy limbs and large extremities . [He]_159-john gorged [himself]_159-john habitually at table , which made [him]_159-john bilious , and gave [him]_159-john a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks . [He]_159-john ought now to have been at [school]_537-school ; but [[his]_159-john mama]_{538-his mama} had taken [him]_159-john [home]_509-home for a month or two , " on account of [his]_159-john delicate health . "_{[170-mr. miles]} [Mr. Miles]_{170-mr. miles} , [the master]_{540-the master} , affirmed that [he]_159-john would do very well if [he]_159-john had fewer cakes and sweetmeats sent [him]_159-john from [home]_509-home ; but [the mother]_{542-the mother} 's heart turned from an opinion so harsh , and inclined rather to the more refined idea that [John]_159-john 's sallowness was owing to over - application and , perhaps , to pining after [home]_509-home . [John]_159-john had not much affection for [[his]_159-john mother]_{544-his mother} and [sisters]_545-sisters , and an antipathy to [me]_0-i . [He]_159-john bullied and punished [me]_0-i ; not two or three times in the week , nor once or twice in the day , but continually : every nerve [I]_0-i had feared [him]_159-john , and every morsel of flesh in [my]_0-i bones shrank when [he]_159-john came near . There were moments when [I]_0-i was bewildered by the terror [he]_159-john inspired , because [I]_0-i had no appeal whatever against either [his]_159-john menaces or [his]_159-john inflictions ; [the servants]_{546-the servants} did not like to offend [[their]_{546-the servants} young master]_{547-their young master} by taking [my]_0-i part against [him]_159-john , and [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} was blind and deaf on the subject : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} never saw [him]_159-john strike or heard [him]_159-john abuse [me]_0-i , though [he]_159-john did both now and then in [her]_{156-mrs. reed} very presence , more frequently , however , behind [her]_{156-mrs. reed} back . Habitually obedient to [John]_159-john , [I]_0-i came up to [his]_159-john chair : [he]_159-john spent some three minutes in thrusting out [his]_159-john tongue at [me]_0-i as far as [he]_159-john could without damaging the roots : [I]_0-i knew [he]_159-john would soon strike , and while dreading the blow , [I]_0-i mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of [him]_159-john who would presently deal it . [I]_0-i wonder if [he]_159-john read that notion in [my]_0-i face ; for , all at once , without speaking , [he]_159-john struck suddenly and strongly . [I]_0-i tottered , and on regaining [my]_0-i equilibrium retired back a step or two from [his]_159-john chair . " That is for [your]_0-i impudence in answering [mama]_4313-mama awhile since , "_[159-john] said [he]_159-john , " and for [your]_0-i sneaking way of getting behind curtains , and for the look [you]_0-i had in [your]_0-i eyes two minutes since , [you]_0-i rat ! "_[159-john] Accustomed to [John Reed]_159-john 's abuse , [I]_0-i never had an idea of replying to it ; [my]_0-i care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the insult . " What were [you]_0-i doing behind the curtain ? "_[159-john] [he]_159-john asked . " [I]_159-john was reading . "_[159-john] " Show the book . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i returned to the window and fetched it thence . " [You]_0-i have no business to take [our]_4315-our books ; [you]_0-i are [a dependent]_{4316-a dependent} , [mama]_4313-mama says ; [you]_0-i have no money ; [[your]_0-i father]_{4318-your father} left [you]_0-i none ; [you]_0-i ought to beg , and not to live here with [[gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} 's children like [us]_4315-our]_{4320-gentlemen 's children like us} , and eat the same meals [we]_4315-our do , and wear clothes at [[our]_4315-our mama]_{4321-our mama} 's expense . Now , [I]_548-i 'll teach [you]_0-i to rummage [my]_548-i bookshelves : for they ARE mine ; all [the house]_{4322-the house} belongs to [me]_548-i , or will do in a few years . Go and stand by the door , out of the way of the mirror and the windows . "_[548-i] [I]_0-i did so , not at first aware what was [his]_548-i intention ; but when [I]_0-i saw [him]_548-i lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it , [I]_0-i instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm : not soon enough , however ; the volume was flung , it hit [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i fell , striking [my]_0-i head against the door and cutting it . The cut bled , the pain was sharp : [my]_0-i terror had passed its climax ; other feelings succeeded . " [Wicked and cruel boy]_{4323-wicked and cruel boy} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " [You]_{4323-wicked and cruel boy} are like [a murderer]_{4324-a murderer} - [you]_{4323-wicked and cruel boy} are like [a slave - driver]_{4325-a slave - driver} - [you]_{4323-wicked and cruel boy} are like [the Roman emperors]_{4326-the roman emperors} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had read [Goldsmith]_{171-goldsmith} 's History of [Rome]_17-rome , and had formed [my]_0-i opinion of [Nero]_172-nero , [Caligula]_173-caligula , c. Also [I]_0-i had drawn parallels in silence , which [I]_0-i never thought thus to have declared aloud . " What ! what ! "_[549-he] [he]_549-he cried . " Did [she]_4327-she say that to [me]_549-he ? Did [you]_{4323-wicked and cruel boy} hear [her]_4327-she , [Eliza]_158-eliza and [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} ? Wo n't [I]_549-he tell [mama]_4313-mama ? but first - "_[549-he] [He]_549-he ran headlong at [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i felt [him]_549-he grasp [my]_0-i hair and [my]_0-i shoulder : [he]_549-he had closed with a desperate thing . [I]_0-i really saw in [him]_549-he [a tyrant]_{550-a tyrant} , [a murderer]_{4324-a murderer} . [I]_0-i felt a drop or two of blood from [my]_0-i head trickle down [my]_0-i neck , and was sensible of somewhat pungent suffering : these sensations for the time predominated over fear , and [I]_0-i received [him]_549-he in frantic sort . [I]_0-i do n't very well know what [I]_0-i did with [my]_0-i hands , but [he]_549-he called [me]_0-i " [Rat]_174-rat ! [Rat]_174-rat ! "_[549-he] and bellowed out aloud . [Aid]_175-aid was near [him]_549-he : [Eliza]_158-eliza and [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} had run for [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , who was gone [upstairs]_552-upstairs : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} now came upon the scene , followed by [Bessie]_195-bessie and [[her]_195-bessie maid]_{553-her maid} [Abbot]_176-abbot . [We]_554-we were parted : [I]_0-i heard the words - " [Dear]_4329-dear ! dear ! What a fury to fly at [Master John]_{177-st. john} ! "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Did ever [anybody]_4330-anybody see such a picture of passion ! "_{[156-mrs. reed]} Then [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} subjoined - " Take [her]_{156-mrs. reed} away to [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} , and lock [her]_{156-mrs. reed} in there . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} Four hands were immediately laid upon [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i was borne [upstairs]_552-upstairs . CHAPTER II [I]_0-i resisted all the way : a new thing for [me]_0-i , and a circumstance which greatly strengthened the bad opinion [Bessie]_195-bessie and [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot were disposed to entertain of [me]_0-i . The fact is , [I]_0-i was a trifle beside [myself]_0-i ; or rather OUT of [myself]_0-i , as [the French]_{556-the french} would say : [I]_0-i was conscious that a moment 's mutiny had already rendered [me]_0-i liable to strange penalties , and , like [any other rebel slave]_{557-any other rebel slave} , [I]_0-i felt resolved , in [my]_0-i desperation , to go all lengths . " Hold [her]_{156-mrs. reed} arms , [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} 's like a mad cat . "_{[558-the lady's - maid]} " For shame ! for shame ! "_{[558-the lady's - maid]} cried [the lady's - maid]_{558-the lady's - maid} . " What shocking conduct , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , to strike [a young gentleman]_{4332-a young gentleman} , [[your]_146-jane benefactress 's son]_{4333-your benefactress 's son} ! [[Your]_146-jane young master]_{4334-your young master} . "_{[558-the lady's - maid]} " [Master]_4335-master ! How is [he]_{4334-your young master} [[my]_{558-the lady's - maid} master]_{4336-my master} ? Am [I]_{558-the lady's - maid} [a servant]_{4337-a servant} ? "_{[558-the lady's - maid]} " No ; [you]_0-i are less than [a servant]_{4337-a servant} , for [you]_0-i do nothing for [your]_0-i keep . There , sit down , and think over [your]_0-i wickedness . "_[559-they] [They]_559-they had got [me]_0-i by this time into [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} indicated by [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , and had thrust [me]_0-i upon a stool : [my]_0-i impulse was to rise from it like a spring ; [their]_559-they two pair of hands arrested [me]_0-i instantly . " If [you]_0-i do n't sit still , [you]_0-i must be tied down , "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie . " [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot , lend [me]_195-bessie [your]_0-i garters ; [she]_176-abbot would break mine directly . "_[195-bessie] [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature . This preparation for bonds , and the additional ignominy it inferred , took a little of the excitement out of [me]_0-i . " Do n't take them off , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i cried ; " [I]_0-i will not stir . "_[0-i] In guarantee whereof , [I]_0-i attached [myself]_0-i to [my]_0-i seat by [my]_0-i hands . " Mind [you]_0-i do n't , "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie ; and when [she]_195-bessie had ascertained that [I]_0-i was really subsiding , [she]_195-bessie loosened [her]_195-bessie hold of [me]_0-i ; then [she]_195-bessie and [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot stood with folded arms , looking darkly and doubtfully on [my]_0-i face , as incredulous of [my]_0-i sanity . " [She]_195-bessie never did so before , "_[195-bessie] at last said [Bessie]_195-bessie , turning to [the Abigail]_{561-the abigail} . " But it was always in [her]_195-bessie , "_[195-bessie] was the reply . " [I]_195-bessie 've told [Missis]_178-missis often [my]_195-bessie opinion about [the child]_{4339-the child} , and [Missis]_178-missis agreed with [me]_195-bessie . [She]_{4339-the child} 's an underhand little thing : [I]_195-bessie never saw [a girl of [her]_{4339-the child} age]_{4340-a girl of her age} with so much cover . "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie answered not ; but ere long , addressing [me]_0-i , [she]_195-bessie said - " [You]_0-i ought to be aware , [Miss]_4341-miss , that [you]_0-i are under obligations to [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} keeps [you]_0-i : if [she]_{156-mrs. reed} were to turn [you]_0-i off , [you]_0-i would have to go to [the poorhouse]_{4342-the poorhouse} . "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i had nothing to say to these words : they were not new to [me]_0-i : [my]_0-i very first recollections of existence included hints of the same kind . This reproach of [my]_0-i dependence had become a vague sing - song in [my]_0-i ear : very painful and crushing , but only half intelligible . [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot joined in - " And [you]_0-i ought not to think [yourself]_0-i on an equality with [the Misses Reed]_{179-the misses reed} and [Master Reed]_{169-mr. reed} , because [Missis]_178-missis kindly allows [you]_0-i to be brought up with [them]_{179-the misses reed} . [They]_{179-the misses reed} will have a great deal of money , and [you]_0-i will have none : it is [your]_0-i place to be humble , and to try to make [yourself]_0-i agreeable to [them]_{179-the misses reed} . "_[176-abbot] " What [we]_4343-we tell [you]_0-i is for [your]_0-i good , "_[195-bessie] added [Bessie]_195-bessie , in no harsh voice , " [you]_0-i should try to be useful and pleasant , then , perhaps , [you]_0-i would have [a home]_{4344-a home} [here]_4312-here ; but if [you]_0-i become passionate and rude , [Missis]_178-missis will send [you]_0-i away , [I]_195-bessie am sure . "_[195-bessie] " Besides , "_[176-abbot] said [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot , " [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} will punish [her]_178-missis : [He]_4346-he might strike [her]_178-missis dead in the midst of [her]_178-missis tantrums , and then where would [she]_178-missis go ? Come , [Bessie]_195-bessie , [we]_562-we will leave [her]_178-missis : [I]_176-abbot would n't have [her]_178-missis heart for anything . Say [your]_0-i prayers , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , when [you]_0-i are by [yourself]_0-i ; for if [you]_0-i do n't repent , something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and fetch [you]_0-i away . "_[176-abbot] [They]_562-we went , shutting the door , and locking it behind [them]_562-we . [The red - room]_{4331-the red - room} was [a square chamber]_{564-a square chamber} , very seldom slept in , [I]_0-i might say never , indeed , unless when a chance influx of visitors at [Gateshead Hall]_{18-gateshead hall} rendered it necessary to turn to account [all the accommodation [it]_{4331-the red - room} contained]_{565-all the accommodation it contained} : yet [it]_{4331-the red - room} was [one of [the largest and stateliest chambers in [the mansion]_{568-the mansion}]_{567-the largest and stateliest chambers in the mansion}]_{566-one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the mansion} . A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany , hung with curtains of deep red damask , stood out like a tabernacle in the centre ; the two large windows , with [their]_569-their blinds always drawn down , were half shrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery ; the carpet was red ; the table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth ; the walls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it ; the wardrobe , the toilet - table , the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany . Out of these deep surrounding shades rose high , and glared white , the piled - up mattresses and pillows of the bed , spread with a snowy Marseilles counterpane . Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy - chair near the head of the bed , also white , with a footstool before it ; and looking , as [I]_0-i thought , like a pale throne . [This room]_{570-this room} was chill , because [it]_{570-this room} seldom had a fire ; [it]_{570-this room} was silent , because remote from [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} and [kitchen]_572-kitchen ; solemn , because it was known to be so seldom entered . [The house - maid]_{573-the house - maid} alone came here on Saturdays , to wipe from the mirrors and the furniture a week 's quiet dust : and [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} [herself]_{156-mrs. reed} , at far intervals , visited [it]_{570-this room} to review the contents of a certain secret drawer in [the wardrobe]_{574-the wardrobe} , where were stored divers parchments , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} jewel - casket , and a miniature of [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} deceased husband]_{575-her deceased husband} ; and in those last words lies the secret of [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} - the spell which kept [it]_{570-this room} so lonely in spite of its grandeur . [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} had been dead nine years : it was in [this chamber]_{577-this chamber} [he]_{169-mr. reed} breathed [his]_{169-mr. reed} last ; here [he]_{169-mr. reed} lay in state ; hence [his]_{169-mr. reed} coffin was borne by [[the undertaker]_{578-the undertaker} 's men]_{579-the undertaker 's men} ; and , since that day , a sense of dreary consecration had guarded [it]_{570-this room} from frequent intrusion . [My]_0-i seat , to which [Bessie]_195-bessie and the bitter [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot had left [me]_0-i riveted , was a low ottoman near the marble chimney - piece ; the bed rose before [me]_0-i ; to [my]_0-i right hand there was [the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of [its]_{580-the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels} panels]_{580-the high , dark wardrobe , with subdued , broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels} ; to [my]_0-i left were the muffled windows ; a great looking - glass between them repeated the vacant majesty of the bed and [room]_581-room . [I]_0-i was not quite sure whether [they]_582-they had locked the door ; and when [I]_0-i dared move , [I]_0-i got up and went to see . Alas ! yes : [no jail]_{583-no jail} was ever more secure . Returning , [I]_0-i had to cross before the looking - glass ; [my]_0-i fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed . All looked colder and darker in [that visionary hollow]_{584-that visionary hollow} than in reality : and the strange little figure there gazing at [me]_0-i , with a white face and arms specking the gloom , and glittering eyes of fear moving where all else was still , had the effect of a real spirit : [I]_0-i thought it like one of the tiny phantoms , half fairy , half imp , [Bessie]_195-bessie 's evening stories represented as coming out of [lone , ferny dells]_{585-lone , ferny dells} in moors , and appearing before the eyes of [belated travellers]_{586-belated travellers} . [I]_0-i returned to [my]_0-i stool . Superstition was with [me]_0-i at that moment ; but it was not yet [her]_195-bessie hour for complete victory : [my]_0-i blood was still warm ; the mood of [the revolted slave]_{587-the revolted slave} was still bracing [me]_0-i with its bitter vigour ; [I]_0-i had to stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought before [I]_0-i quailed to the dismal present . All [John Reed]_159-john 's violent tyrannies , all [[his]_159-john sisters]_{4311-his sisters} ' proud indifference , all [[his]_159-john mother]_{544-his mother} 's aversion , all [the servants]_{546-the servants} ' partiality , turned up in [my]_0-i disturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well . Why was [I]_0-i always suffering , always browbeaten , always accused , for ever condemned ? Why could [I]_0-i never please ? Why was it useless to try to win [any one]_{591-any one} 's favour ? [Eliza]_158-eliza , who was headstrong and selfish , was respected . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} , who had a spoiled temper , a very acrid spite , [a captious and insolent carriage]_{592-a captious and insolent carriage} , was universally indulged . [Her]_{160-georgiana} beauty , [her]_{160-georgiana} pink cheeks and golden curls , seemed to give delight to all who looked at [her]_{160-georgiana} , and to purchase indemnity for every fault . [John]_159-john [no one]_{593-no one} thwarted , much less punished ; though [he]_159-john twisted the necks of the pigeons , killed the little pea - chicks , set the dogs at the sheep , stripped the hothouse vines of [their]_594-their fruit , and broke the buds off the choicest plants in [the conservatory]_{595-the conservatory} : [he]_159-john called [[his]_159-john mother]_{544-his mother} " [old girl]_{4347-old girl} , "_[159-john] too ; sometimes reviled [her]_{544-his mother} for [her]_{544-his mother} dark skin , similar to [his]_159-john own ; bluntly disregarded [her]_{544-his mother} wishes ; not unfrequently tore and spoiled [her]_{544-his mother} silk attire ; and [he]_159-john was still " [[her]_{544-his mother} own darling]_{4348-her own darling} . "_[159-john] [I]_0-i dared commit no fault : [I]_0-i strove to fulfil every duty ; and [I]_0-i was termed naughty and tiresome , sullen and sneaking , from morning to noon , and from noon to night . [My]_0-i head still ached and bled with the blow and fall [I]_0-i had received : [no one]_{593-no one} had reproved [John]_159-john for wantonly striking [me]_0-i ; and because [I]_0-i had turned against [him]_159-john to avert farther irrational violence , [I]_0-i was loaded with general opprobrium . " Unjust ! - unjust ! "_[0-i] said [my]_0-i reason , forced by the agonising stimulus into precocious though transitory power : and [Resolve]_181-resolve , equally wrought up , instigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable oppression - as running away , or , if that could not be effected , never eating or drinking more , and letting [myself]_0-i die . What a consternation of soul was [mine]_0-i that dreary afternoon ! How all [my]_0-i brain was in tumult , and all [my]_0-i heart in insurrection ! Yet in what darkness , what dense ignorance , was the mental battle fought ! [I]_0-i could not answer the ceaseless inward question - WHY [I]_0-i thus suffered ; now , at the distance of - [I]_0-i will not say how many years , [I]_0-i see it clearly . [I]_0-i was a discord in [Gateshead Hall]_{18-gateshead hall} : [I]_0-i was like [nobody there]_{598-nobody there} ; [I]_0-i had nothing in harmony with [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} or [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} children]_{599-her children} , or [her]_{156-mrs. reed} chosen vassalage . If [they]_600-their did not love [me]_0-i , in fact , as little did [I]_0-i love [them]_600-their . [They]_600-their were not bound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one amongst [them]_600-their ; a heterogeneous thing , opposed to [them]_600-their in temperament , in capacity , in propensities ; a useless thing , incapable of serving [their]_600-their interest , or adding to [their]_600-their pleasure ; a noxious thing , cherishing the germs of indignation at [their]_600-their treatment , of contempt of [their]_600-their judgment . [I]_0-i know that had [I]_0-i been [a sanguine , brilliant , careless , exacting , handsome , romping child]_{601-a sanguine , brilliant , careless , exacting , handsome , romping child} - though equally dependent and friendless - [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} would have endured [my]_0-i presence more complacently ; [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} children]_{599-her children} would have entertained for [me]_0-i more of the cordiality of fellow - feeling ; [the servants]_{546-the servants} would have been less prone to make [me]_0-i [the scapegoat of [the nursery]_{571-the nursery}]_{604-the scapegoat of the nursery} . Daylight began to forsake [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} ; it was past four o'clock , and the beclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight . [I]_0-i heard the rain still beating continuously on the staircase window , and the wind howling in [the grove]_{607-the grove} behind [the hall]_{608-the hall} ; [I]_0-i grew by degrees cold as a stone , and then [my]_0-i courage sank . [My]_0-i habitual mood of humiliation , self - doubt , forlorn depression , fell damp on the embers of [my]_0-i decaying ire . All said [I]_0-i was wicked , and perhaps [I]_0-i might be so ; what thought had [I]_0-i been but just conceiving of starving [myself]_0-i to death ? That certainly was a crime : and was [I]_0-i fit to die ? Or was [the vault under the chancel of [Gateshead Church]_{19-gateshead church}]_{609-the vault under the chancel of gateshead church} an inviting bourne ? In [such vault]_{610-such vault} [I]_0-i had been told did [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} lie buried ; and led by this thought to recall [his]_{169-mr. reed} idea , [I]_0-i dwelt on it with gathering dread . [I]_0-i could not remember [him]_{169-mr. reed} ; but [I]_0-i knew that [he]_{169-mr. reed} was [[my]_0-i own uncle]_{611-my own uncle} - [[[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} 's brother]_{613-my mother 's brother} - that [he]_{169-mr. reed} had taken [me]_0-i when [a parentless infant]_{614-a parentless infant} to [[his]_{169-mr. reed} house]_{615-his house} ; and that in [his]_{169-mr. reed} last moments [he]_{169-mr. reed} had required a promise of [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} that [she]_{156-mrs. reed} would rear and maintain [me]_0-i as [one of [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} own children]_{617-her own children}]_{616-one of her own children} . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} probably considered [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had kept this promise ; and so [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had , [I]_0-i dare say , as well as [her]_{156-mrs. reed} nature would permit [her]_{156-mrs. reed} ; but how could [she]_{156-mrs. reed} really like [an interloper not of [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} race]_{619-her race} , and unconnected with [her]_{156-mrs. reed} , after [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} husband]_{620-her husband} 's death , by any tie]_{618-an interloper not of her race , and unconnected with her , after her husband 's death , by any tie} ? It must have been most irksome to find [herself]_{156-mrs. reed} bound by a hard - wrung pledge to stand in the stead of [a parent to [a strange child [she]_{156-mrs. reed} could not love]_{622-a strange child she could not love} , and to see [an uncongenial alien]_{623-an uncongenial alien} permanently intruded on [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} own family group]_{624-her own family group}]_{621-a parent to a strange child she could not love , and to see an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group} . A singular notion dawned upon [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i doubted not - never doubted - that if [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} had been alive [he]_{169-mr. reed} would have treated [me]_0-i kindly ; and now , as [I]_0-i sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls - occasionally also turning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaning mirror - [I]_0-i began to recall what [I]_0-i had heard of [dead men]_{625-dead men} , troubled in [their]_{625-dead men} graves by the violation of [their]_{625-dead men} last wishes , revisiting the earth to punish [the perjured and avenge the oppressed]_{626-the perjured and avenge the oppressed} ; and [I]_0-i thought [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} 's spirit , harassed by the wrongs of [[his]_{169-mr. reed} sister 's child]_{627-his sister 's child} , might quit its abode - whether in [the church vault]_{628-the church vault} or in [the unknown world of [the departed]_{630-the departed}]_{629-the unknown world of the departed} - and rise before [me]_0-i in [this chamber]_{577-this chamber} . [I]_0-i wiped [my]_0-i tears and hushed [my]_0-i sobs , fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a preternatural voice to comfort [me]_0-i , or elicit from the gloom some haloed face , bending over [me]_0-i with strange pity . This idea , consolatory in theory , [I]_0-i felt would be terrible if realised : with all [my]_0-i might [I]_0-i endeavoured to stifle it - [I]_0-i endeavoured to be firm . Shaking [my]_0-i hair from [my]_0-i eyes , [I]_0-i lifted [my]_0-i head and tried to look boldly round [the dark room]_{632-the dark room} ; at this moment a light gleamed on the wall . Was it , [I]_0-i asked [myself]_0-i , a ray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind ? No ; moonlight was still , and this stirred ; while [I]_0-i gazed , it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over [my]_0-i head . [I]_0-i can now conjecture readily that this streak of light was , in all likelihood , a gleam from a lantern carried by some one across [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} : but then , prepared as [my]_0-i mind was for horror , shaken as [my]_0-i nerves were by agitation , [I]_0-i thought the swift darting beam was a herald of some coming vision from [another world]_{634-another world} . [My]_0-i heart beat thick , [my]_0-i head grew hot ; a sound filled [my]_0-i ears , which [I]_0-i deemed the rushing of wings ; something seemed near [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i was oppressed , suffocated : endurance broke down ; [I]_0-i rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort . Steps came running along [the outer passage]_{635-the outer passage} ; the key turned , [Bessie]_195-bessie and [Abbot]_176-abbot entered . " [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , are [you]_146-jane ill ? "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie . " What a dreadful noise ! it went quite through [me]_176-abbot ! "_[176-abbot] exclaimed [Abbot]_176-abbot . " Take [me]_0-i out ! Let [me]_0-i go into [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} ! "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i cry . " What for ? Are [you]_195-bessie hurt ? Have [you]_195-bessie seen something ? "_[195-bessie] again demanded [Bessie]_195-bessie . " Oh ! [I]_195-bessie saw a light , and [I]_195-bessie thought a ghost would come . "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i had now got hold of [Bessie]_195-bessie 's hand , and [she]_195-bessie did not snatch it from [me]_0-i . " [She]_195-bessie has screamed out on purpose , "_[176-abbot] declared [Abbot]_176-abbot , in some disgust . " And what a scream ! If [she]_195-bessie had been in great pain one would have excused it , but [she]_195-bessie only wanted to bring [us]_4350-us all [here]_4312-here : [I]_176-abbot know [her]_195-bessie naughty tricks . "_[176-abbot] " What is all this ? "_{[156-mrs. reed]} demanded another voice peremptorily ; and [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} came along [the corridor]_{636-the corridor} , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} cap flying wide , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} gown rustling stormily . " [Abbot]_176-abbot and [Bessie]_195-bessie , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} believe [I]_{156-mrs. reed} gave orders that [Jane Eyre]_146-jane should be left in [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} till [I]_{156-mrs. reed} came to [her]_146-jane [myself]_{156-mrs. reed} . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " [Miss Jane]_146-jane screamed so loud , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , "_[195-bessie] pleaded [Bessie]_195-bessie . " Let [her]_146-jane go , "_[195-bessie] was the only answer . " [Loose Bessie]_195-bessie 's hand , [child]_4354-child : [you]_4354-child can not succeed in getting out by these means , be assured . [I]_195-bessie abhor artifice , particularly in [children]_524-children ; it is [my]_195-bessie duty to show [you]_4354-child that tricks will not answer : [you]_4354-child will now stay [here]_4312-here an hour longer , and it is only on condition of perfect submission and stillness that [I]_195-bessie shall liberate [you]_4354-child then . "_[195-bessie] " [O aunt]_{4357-o aunt} ! have pity ! Forgive [me]_{156-mrs. reed} ! [I]_{156-mrs. reed} can not endure it - let [me]_{156-mrs. reed} be punished some other way ! [I]_{156-mrs. reed} shall be killed if - "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Silence ! This violence is all most repulsive : "_[195-bessie] and so , no doubt , [she]_195-bessie felt it . [I]_0-i was a precocious actress in [her]_195-bessie eyes ; [she]_195-bessie sincerely looked on [me]_0-i as a compound of virulent passions , mean spirit , and dangerous duplicity . [Bessie]_195-bessie and [Abbot]_176-abbot having retreated , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , impatient of [my]_0-i now frantic anguish and wild sobs , abruptly thrust [me]_0-i back and locked [me]_0-i in , without farther parley . [I]_0-i heard [her]_195-bessie sweeping away ; and soon after [she]_195-bessie was gone , [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i had a species of fit : unconsciousness closed the scene . CHAPTER III The next thing [I]_0-i remember is , waking up with a feeling as if [I]_0-i had had a frightful nightmare , and seeing before [me]_0-i a terrible red glare , crossed with thick black bars . [I]_0-i heard voices , too , speaking with a hollow sound , and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water : agitation , uncertainty , and an all - predominating sense of terror confused [my]_0-i faculties . Ere long , [I]_0-i became aware that [some one]_{637-some one} was handling [me]_0-i ; lifting [me]_0-i up and supporting [me]_0-i in a sitting posture , and that more tenderly than [I]_0-i had ever been raised or upheld before . [I]_0-i rested [my]_0-i head against a pillow or an arm , and felt easy . In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved : [I]_0-i knew quite well that [I]_0-i was in [my]_0-i own bed , and that the red glare was the nursery fire . It was night : a candle burnt on the table ; [Bessie]_195-bessie stood at the bed - foot with a basin in [her]_195-bessie hand , and [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} sat in a chair near [my]_0-i pillow , leaning over [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i felt an inexpressible relief , a soothing conviction of protection and security , when [I]_0-i knew that there was [a stranger in [the room]_{535-the room}]_{639-a stranger in the room} , [an individual not belonging to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{641-an individual not belonging to gateshead} . , and not related to [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} . Turning from [Bessie]_195-bessie though [her]_195-bessie presence was far less obnoxious to [me]_0-i than that of [Abbot]_176-abbot , for instance , would have been , [I]_0-i scrutinised the face of [the gentleman]_{642-the gentleman} : [I]_0-i knew [him]_{642-the gentleman} ; it was [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} , [an apothecary]_{643-an apothecary} , sometimes called in by [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} when [the servants]_{546-the servants} were ailing : for [herself]_{156-mrs. reed} and [the children]_{645-the children} [she]_{156-mrs. reed} employed [a physician]_{646-a physician} . " Well , who am [I]_{642-the gentleman} ? "_{[642-the gentleman]} [he]_{642-the gentleman} asked . [I]_0-i pronounced [his]_{642-the gentleman} name , offering [him]_{642-the gentleman} at the same time [my]_0-i hand : [he]_{642-the gentleman} took it , smiling and saying , " [We]_4358-we shall do very well by - and - by . "_{[642-the gentleman]} Then [he]_{642-the gentleman} laid [me]_0-i down , and addressing [Bessie]_195-bessie , charged [her]_195-bessie to be very careful that [I]_0-i was not disturbed during the night . Having given some further directions , and intimates that [he]_{642-the gentleman} should call again the next day , [he]_{642-the gentleman} departed ; to [my]_0-i grief : [I]_0-i felt so sheltered and befriended while [he]_{642-the gentleman} sat in the chair near [my]_0-i pillow ; and as [he]_{642-the gentleman} closed the door after [him]_{642-the gentleman} , all [the room]_{535-the room} darkened and [my]_0-i heart again sank : inexpressible sadness weighed it down . " Do [you]_0-i feel as if [you]_0-i should sleep , [Miss]_4359-miss ? "_[195-bessie] asked [Bessie]_195-bessie , rather softly . Scarcely dared [I]_0-i answer [her]_195-bessie ; for [I]_0-i feared the next sentence might be rough . " [I]_0-i will try . "_[0-i] " Would [you]_195-bessie like to drink , or could [you]_195-bessie eat anything ? "_[195-bessie] " No , thank [you]_195-bessie , [Bessie]_195-bessie . "_[195-bessie] " Then [I]_195-bessie think [I]_195-bessie shall go to bed , for it is past twelve o'clock ; but [you]_195-bessie may call [me]_195-bessie if [you]_195-bessie want anything in the night . "_[195-bessie] Wonderful civility this ! It emboldened [me]_0-i to ask a question . " [Bessie]_195-bessie , what is the matter with [me]_195-bessie ? Am [I]_195-bessie ill ? "_[195-bessie] " [You]_195-bessie fell sick , [I]_195-bessie suppose , in [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} with crying ; [you]_195-bessie 'll be better soon , no doubt . "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie went into [[the housemaid]_{648-the housemaid} 's apartment]_{649-the housemaid 's apartment} , which was near . [I]_0-i heard [her]_195-bessie say - " [Sarah]_183-sarah , come and sleep with [me]_195-bessie in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} ; [I]_195-bessie dare n't for [my]_195-bessie life be alone with [that poor child]_{4362-that poor child} to - night : [she]_{4362-that poor child} might die ; it 's such a strange thing [she]_{4362-that poor child} should have that fit : [I]_195-bessie wonder if [she]_{4362-that poor child} saw anything . [Missis]_178-missis was rather too hard . "_[195-bessie] [Sarah]_183-sarah came back with [her]_195-bessie ; [they]_650-they both went to bed ; [they]_650-they were whispering together for half - an - hour before [they]_650-they fell asleep . [I]_0-i caught scraps of [their]_650-they conversation , from which [I]_0-i was able only too distinctly to infer the main subject discussed . " [Something]_{184-something} passed [her]_{4362-that poor child} , all dressed in white , and vanished "_[0-i] - " A great black dog behind [him]_{4362-that poor child} "_[0-i] - " Three loud raps on the chamber door "_[0-i] - " A light in [the churchyard]_{4363-the churchyard} just over [[his]_{4362-that poor child} grave]_{4364-his grave} , "_[0-i] c. c. At last both slept : the fire and the candle went out . For [me]_0-i , the watches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness ; strained by dread : such dread as [children]_524-children only can feel . No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} ; it only gave [my]_0-i nerves a shock of which [I]_0-i feel the reverberation to this day . Yes , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , to [you]_{156-mrs. reed} [I]_0-i owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering , but [I]_0-i ought to forgive [you]_{156-mrs. reed} , for [you]_{156-mrs. reed} knew not what [you]_{156-mrs. reed} did : while rending [my]_0-i heart - strings , [you]_{156-mrs. reed} thought [you]_{156-mrs. reed} were only uprooting [my]_0-i bad propensities . Next day , by noon , [I]_0-i was up and dressed , and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth . [I]_0-i felt physically weak and broken down : but [my]_0-i worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind : a wretchedness which kept drawing from [me]_0-i silent tears ; no sooner had [I]_0-i wiped one salt drop from [my]_0-i cheek than another followed . Yet , [I]_0-i thought , [I]_0-i ought to have been happy , for [none of [the Reeds]_{185-the reeds}]_{653-none of the reeds} were there , [they]_{185-the reeds} were all gone out in [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} with [[their]_{185-the reeds} mama]_{512-their mama} . [Abbot]_176-abbot , too , was sewing in [another room]_{656-another room} , and [Bessie]_195-bessie , as [she]_195-bessie moved hither and thither , putting away toys and arranging drawers , addressed to [me]_0-i every now and then a word of unwonted kindness . This state of things should have been to [me]_0-i a paradise of peace , accustomed as [I]_0-i was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging ; but , in fact , [my]_0-i racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could soothe , and no pleasure excite [them]_657-them agreeably . [Bessie]_195-bessie had been down into [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , and [she]_195-bessie brought up with [her]_195-bessie a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate , whose bird of paradise , nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds , had been wo nt to stir in [me]_0-i a most enthusiastic sense of admiration ; and which plate [I]_0-i had often petitioned to be allowed to take in [my]_0-i hand in order to examine it more closely , but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a privilege . This precious vessel was now placed on [my]_0-i knee , and [I]_0-i was cordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it . Vain favour ! coming , like most other favours long deferred and often wished for , too late ! [I]_0-i could not eat the tart ; and the plumage of the bird , the tints of the flowers , seemed strangely faded : [I]_0-i put both plate and tart away . [Bessie]_195-bessie asked if [I]_0-i would have a book : the word BOOK acted as a transient stimulus , and [I]_0-i begged [her]_195-bessie to fetch [Gulliver]_186-gulliver 's Travels from [the library]_{659-the library} . This book [I]_0-i had again and again perused with delight . [I]_0-i considered it a narrative of facts , and discovered in it a vein of interest deeper than what [I]_0-i found in fairy tales : for as to [the elves]_{660-the elves} , having sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells , under mushrooms and beneath the ground - ivy mantling old wall - nooks , [I]_0-i had at length made up [my]_0-i mind to the sad truth , that [they]_{660-the elves} were all gone out of [England]_21-england to [some savage country]_{661-some savage country} where [the woods]_{662-the woods} were wilder and thicker , and the population more scant ; whereas , [Lilliput]_187-lilliput and [Brobdignag]_{22-brobdignag} being , in [my]_0-i creed , solid parts of [the earth]_{663-the earth} 's surface , [I]_0-i doubted not that [I]_0-i might one day , by taking a long voyage , see with [my]_0-i own eyes [the little fields]_{664-the little fields} , [houses]_665-houses , and trees , [the diminutive people]_{666-the diminutive people} , the tiny cows , sheep , and birds of [the one realm]_{667-the one realm} ; and [the corn - fields forest]_{668-the corn - fields forest} - high , [the mighty mastiffs]_{669-the mighty mastiffs} , the monster cats , [the tower - like men]_{670-the tower - like men} and [women]_671-women , of the other . Yet , when this cherished volume was now placed in [my]_0-i hand - when [I]_0-i turned over its leaves , and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm [I]_0-i had , till now , never failed to find - all was eerie and dreary ; the giants were [gaunt goblins]_{672-gaunt goblins} , [the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps]_{673-the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps} , [Gulliver]_186-gulliver a most desolate wanderer in [most dread and dangerous regions]_{674-most dread and dangerous regions} . [I]_0-i closed the book , which [I]_0-i dared no longer peruse , and put it on the table , beside the untasted tart . [Bessie]_195-bessie had now finished dusting and tidying [the room]_{535-the room} , and having washed [her]_195-bessie hands , [she]_195-bessie opened a certain little drawer , full of splendid shreds of silk and satin , and began making a new bonnet for [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} 's doll . Meantime [she]_195-bessie sang : [her]_195-bessie song was - " In the days when [we]_4365-we went gipsying , A long time ago . "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i had often heard the song before , and always with lively delight ; for [Bessie]_195-bessie had a sweet voice , - at least , [I]_0-i thought so . But now , though [her]_195-bessie voice was still sweet , [I]_0-i found in its melody an indescribable sadness . Sometimes , preoccupied with [her]_195-bessie work , [she]_195-bessie sang the refrain very low , very lingeringly ; " A long time ago "_[195-bessie] came out like the saddest cadence of a funeral hymn . [She]_195-bessie passed into another ballad , this time a really doleful one . " [My]_195-bessie feet they are sore , and [my]_195-bessie limbs they are weary ; Long is the way , and [the mountains]_{4366-the mountains} are wild ; Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary Over the path of [the poor orphan child]_{4367-the poor orphan child} . "_[195-bessie] Why did [they]_676-they send [me]_0-i so far and so lonely , [Up where the moors spread and grey rocks]_{677-up where the moors spread and grey rocks} are piled ? [Men]_482-men are hard - hearted , and [kind angels]_{679-kind angels} only Watch o'er the steps of [a poor orphan child]_{680-a poor orphan child} . " Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing , Clouds there are none , and clear stars beam mild , [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , in [His]_{682-my father} mercy , protection is showing , Comfort and hope to [the poor orphan child]_{4367-the poor orphan child} . "_[188-ev'n] [Ev'n]_188-ev'n should [I]_0-i fall o'er the broken bridge passing , Or stray in [the marshes]_{681-the marshes} , by false lights beguiled , Still will [[my]_0-i Father]_{682-my father} , with promise and blessing , Take to [His]_{682-my father} bosom [the poor orphan child]_{4367-the poor orphan child} . " There is a thought that for strength should avail [me]_195-bessie , Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled ; [Heaven]_4369-heaven is a [home]_509-home , and a rest will not fail [me]_195-bessie ; [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is [a friend to [the poor orphan child]_{4367-the poor orphan child}]_{4371-a friend to the poor orphan child} . "_[195-bessie] " Come , [Miss Jane]_146-jane , do n't cry , "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie as [she]_195-bessie finished . [She]_195-bessie might as well have said to the fire , " do n't burn ! "_[195-bessie] but how could [she]_195-bessie divine the morbid suffering to which [I]_0-i was [a prey]_{684-a prey} ? In the course of the morning [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} came again . " What , already up ! "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} said [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} , as [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} entered [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . " Well , [nurse]_4373-nurse , how is [she]_195-bessie ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} [Bessie]_195-bessie answered that [I]_0-i was doing very well . " Then [she]_195-bessie ought to look more cheerful . Come here , [Miss Jane]_146-jane : [your]_146-jane name is [Jane]_146-jane , is it not ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane . "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " Well , [you]_146-jane have been crying , [Miss Jane Eyre]_146-jane ; can [you]_146-jane tell [me]_195-bessie what about ? Have [you]_146-jane any pain ? "_[195-bessie] " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[195-bessie] " Oh ! [I]_195-bessie daresay [she]_195-bessie is crying because [she]_195-bessie could not go out with [Missis]_178-missis in [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} , "_[195-bessie] interposed [Bessie]_195-bessie . " Surely not ! why , [she]_195-bessie is too old for such pettishness . "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i thought so too ; and [my]_0-i self - esteem being wounded by the false charge , [I]_0-i answered promptly , " [I]_0-i never cried for such a thing in [my]_0-i life : [I]_0-i hate going out in [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} . [I]_0-i cry because [I]_0-i am miserable . "_[0-i] " Oh fie , [Miss]_4378-miss ! "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie . [The good apothecary]_{686-the good apothecary} appeared a little puzzled . [I]_0-i was standing before [him]_{686-the good apothecary} ; [he]_{686-the good apothecary} fixed [his]_{686-the good apothecary} eyes on [me]_0-i very steadily : [his]_{686-the good apothecary} eyes were small and grey ; not very bright , but [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i should think them shrewd now : [he]_{686-the good apothecary} had a hard - featured yet good - natured looking face . Having considered [me]_0-i at leisure , [he]_{686-the good apothecary} said - " What made [you]_0-i ill yesterday ? "_{[686-the good apothecary]} " [She]_195-bessie had a fall , "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie , again putting in [her]_195-bessie word . " Fall ! why , that is like [a baby]_{4379-a baby} again ! Ca n't [she]_195-bessie manage to walk at [her]_195-bessie age ? [She]_195-bessie must be eight or nine years old . "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie was knocked down , "_[195-bessie] was the blunt explanation , jerked out of [me]_0-i by another pang of mortified pride ; " but that did not make [me]_0-i ill , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i added ; while [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} helped [himself]_{182-mr. lloyd} to a pinch of snuff . As [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} was returning the box to [his]_{182-mr. lloyd} waistcoat pocket , a loud bell rang for [the servants]_{546-the servants} ' dinner ; [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} knew what it was . " That 's for [you]_0-i , [nurse]_4373-nurse , "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} said [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} ; " [you]_0-i can go down ; [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} 'll give [Miss Jane]_146-jane a lecture till [you]_0-i come back . "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} [Bessie]_195-bessie would rather have stayed , but [she]_195-bessie was obliged to go , because punctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at [Gateshead Hall]_{18-gateshead hall} . " The fall did not make [you]_0-i ill ; what did , then ? "_[195-bessie] pursued [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} when [Bessie]_195-bessie was gone . " [I]_0-i was shut up in [a room]_{4381-a room} where there is a ghost till after dark . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i saw [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} smile and frown at the same time . " [Ghost]_189-ghost ! What , [you]_0-i are [a baby after all]_{4382-a baby after all} ! [You]_0-i are afraid of ghosts ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " Of [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} 's ghost [I]_0-i am : [he]_{169-mr. reed} died in [that room]_{4383-that room} , and was laid out there . Neither [Bessie]_195-bessie nor [any one else]_{4384-any one else} will go into it at night , if [they]_4385-they can help it ; and it was cruel to shut [me]_0-i up alone without a candle , - so cruel that [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall never forget it . "_[0-i] " Nonsense ! And is it that makes [you]_0-i so miserable ? Are [you]_0-i afraid now in daylight ? "_[0-i] " No : but night will come again before long : and besides , - [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} am unhappy , - very unhappy , for other things . "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " What other things ? Can [you]_0-i tell [me]_0-i some of them ? "_[0-i] How much [I]_0-i wished to reply fully to this question ! How difficult it was to frame any answer ! [Children]_524-children can feel , but [they]_524-children can not analyse [their]_524-children feelings ; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought , [they]_524-children know not how to express the result of the process in words . Fearful , however , of losing this first and only opportunity of relieving [my]_0-i grief by imparting it , [I]_0-i , after a disturbed pause , contrived to frame a meagre , though , as far as it went , true response . " For one thing , [I]_0-i have [no father]_{4386-no father} or [mother]_4387-mother , [brothers]_{4388-brothers} or [sisters]_545-sisters . "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i have [a kind aunt]_{4390-a kind aunt} and [cousins]_4391-cousins . "_[0-i] Again [I]_0-i paused ; then bunglingly enounced - " But [John Reed]_159-john knocked [me]_0-i down , and [[my]_0-i aunt]_{4392-my aunt} shut [me]_0-i up in [the red- room]_{4393-the red- room} . "_[0-i] [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} a second time produced [his]_{182-mr. lloyd} snuff - box . " Do n't [you]_0-i think [Gateshead Hall]_{18-gateshead hall} [a very beautiful house]_{4394-a very beautiful house} ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} asked [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} . " Are [you]_0-i not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " [It]_{18-gateshead hall} is not [[my]_0-i house]_{4395-my house} , [sir]_4374-sir ; and [Abbot]_176-abbot says [I]_0-i have less right to be [here]_4312-here than [a servant]_{4337-a servant} . "_[0-i] " Pooh ! [you]_0-i ca n't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place ? "_[0-i] " If [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} had anywhere else to go , [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} should be glad to leave [it]_{18-gateshead hall} ; but [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} can never get away from [Gateshead]_20-gateshead till [I]_{182-mr. lloyd} am [a woman]_{4399-a woman} . "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " Perhaps [you]_0-i may - who knows ? Have [you]_0-i any relations besides [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i think not , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " None belonging to [[your]_0-i father]_{4318-your father} ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} " [I]_0-i do n't know . [I]_0-i asked [Aunt Reed]_{190-aunt reed} once , and [she]_{190-aunt reed} said possibly [I]_0-i might have some poor , low relations called [Eyre]_146-jane , but [she]_{190-aunt reed} knew nothing about [them]_4402-them . "_[0-i] " If [you]_0-i had such , would [you]_0-i like to go to [them]_4402-them ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i reflected . Poverty looks grim to [grown people]_{689-grown people} ; still more so to [children]_524-children : [they]_524-children have not much idea of industrious , working , respectable poverty ; [they]_524-children think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes , scanty food , fireless grates , rude manners , and debasing vices : poverty for [me]_0-i was synonymous with degradation . " No ; [I]_0-i should not like to belong to [poor people]_{4403-poor people} , "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i reply . " Not even if [they]_{4403-poor people} were kind to [you]_0-i ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head : [I]_0-i could not see how [poor people]_{4403-poor people} had the means of being kind ; and then to learn to speak like [them]_{4403-poor people} , to adopt [their]_{4403-poor people} manners , to be uneducated , to grow up like [one of [the poor women]_{693-the poor women} [I]_0-i saw sometimes nursing [[their]_694-their children]_{695-their children} or washing [their]_{695-their children} clothes at [the cottage doors of [the village of]_{697-the village of} [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{696-the cottage doors of the village of gateshead}]_{692-one of the poor women i saw sometimes nursing their children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the village of gateshead} : no , [I]_0-i was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste . " But are [[your]_0-i relatives]_{4404-your relatives} so very poor ? Are [they]_{4404-your relatives} [working people]_{4405-working people} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_195-bessie can not tell ; [Aunt]_4406-aunt . [Reed]_{190-aunt reed} says if [I]_195-bessie have any , [they]_{4404-your relatives} must be [a beggarly set]_{4407-a beggarly set} : [I]_195-bessie should not like to go a begging . "_[195-bessie] " Would [you]_0-i like to go to [school]_537-school ? "_[0-i] Again [I]_0-i reflected : [I]_0-i scarcely knew what [school]_537-school was : [Bessie]_195-bessie sometimes spoke of it as a place where [young ladies]_{699-young ladies} sat in the stocks , wore backboards , and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise : [John Reed]_159-john hated [[his]_159-john school]_{700-his school} , and abused [[his]_159-john master]_{701-his master} ; but [John Reed]_159-john 's tastes were no rule for [mine]_0-i , and if [Bessie]_195-bessie 's accounts of school - discipline gathered from [the young ladies of a family where [she]_195-bessie had lived before coming to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{702-the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to gateshead} were somewhat appalling , [her]_195-bessie details of certain accomplishments attained by [these same young ladies]_{703-these same young ladies} were , [I]_0-i thought , equally attractive . [She]_195-bessie boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and flowers by [them]_{703-these same young ladies} executed ; of songs [they]_{703-these same young ladies} could sing and pieces [they]_{703-these same young ladies} could play , of purses [they]_{703-these same young ladies} could net , of French books [they]_{703-these same young ladies} could translate ; till [my]_0-i spirit was moved to emulation as [I]_0-i listened . Besides , [school]_537-school would be a complete change : it implied a long journey , an entire separation from [Gateshead]_20-gateshead , an entrance into a new life . " [I]_0-i should indeed like to go to [school]_537-school , "_[0-i] was the audible conclusion of [my]_0-i musings . " Well , well ! who knows what may happen ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} said [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} , as [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} got up . " [The child]_{4339-the child} ought to have change of air and scene , "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} added , speaking to [himself]_{182-mr. lloyd} ; " nerves not in a good state . "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} [Bessie]_195-bessie now returned ; at the same moment [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} was heard rolling up [the gravel - walk]_{706-the gravel - walk} . " Is that [[your]_{182-mr. lloyd} mistress]_{4411-your mistress} , [nurse]_4373-nurse ? "_{[182-mr. lloyd]} asked [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} . " [I]_195-bessie should like to speak to [her]_{4411-your mistress} before [I]_195-bessie go . "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie invited [him]_{182-mr. lloyd} to walk into [the breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} , and led the way out . In the interview which followed between [him]_{182-mr. lloyd} and [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , [I]_0-i presume , from after - occurrences , that [the apothecary]_{708-the apothecary} ventured to recommend [my]_0-i being sent to [school]_537-school ; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted ; for as [Abbot]_176-abbot said , in discussing the subject with [Bessie]_195-bessie when [both]_710-both sat sewing in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} one night , after [I]_0-i was in bed , and , as [they]_710-both thought , asleep , " [Missis]_178-missis was , [she]_178-missis dared say , glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome , ill- conditioned child , who always looked as if [she]_178-missis were watching [everybody]_{4413-everybody} , and scheming plots underhand . "_[176-abbot] [Abbot]_176-abbot , [I]_0-i think , gave [me]_0-i credit for being a sort of infantine [Guy Fawkes]_{191-guy fawkes} . On that same occasion [I]_0-i learned , for the first time , from [Miss Abbot]_176-abbot 's communications to [Bessie]_195-bessie , that [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} had been [a poor clergyman]_{713-a poor clergyman} ; that [[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} had married [him]_{682-my father} against the wishes of [[her]_{612-my mother} friends]_{715-her friends} , who considered the match beneath [her]_{612-my mother} ; that [[my]_0-i grandfather]_{716-my grandfather} [Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} was so irritated at [her]_{612-my mother} disobedience , [he]_{682-my father} cut [her]_{612-my mother} off without a shilling ; that after [[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} and [father]_718-father had been married a year , [the latter]_{719-the latter} caught the typhus fever while visiting among [the poor of [a large manufacturing town where [his]_{682-my father} curacy]_{721-a large manufacturing town where his curacy} was situated , and where that disease was then prevalent]_{720-the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated , and where that disease was then prevalent} : that [[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} took the infection from [him]_{682-my father} , and [both]_710-both died within a month of [each other]_{724-each other} . [Bessie]_195-bessie , when [she]_195-bessie heard this narrative , sighed and said , " [Poor Miss Jane]_146-jane is to be pitied , too , [Abbot]_176-abbot . "_[195-bessie] " Yes , "_[176-abbot] responded [Abbot]_176-abbot ; " if [she]_146-jane were [a nice , pretty child]_{4414-a nice , pretty child} , one might compassionate [her]_146-jane forlornness ; but [one]_4415-one really can not care for [such a little toad as that]_{4416-such a little toad as that} . "_[195-bessie] " Not a great deal , to be sure , "_[195-bessie] agreed [Bessie]_195-bessie : " at any rate , [a beauty like [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana}]_{4417-a beauty like miss georgiana} would be more moving in the same condition . "_[195-bessie] " Yes , [I]_176-abbot doat on [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} ! "_[176-abbot] cried [the fervent Abbot]_176-abbot . " [Little darling]_{4418-little darling} ! - with [her]_{192-miss georgiana} long curls and [her]_{192-miss georgiana} blue eyes , and such a sweet colour as [she]_{192-miss georgiana} has ; just as if [she]_{192-miss georgiana} were painted ! - [Bessie]_195-bessie , [I]_176-abbot could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper . "_[176-abbot] " So could [I]_725-i - with a roast onion . Come , [we]_725-i 'll go down . "_[725-i] [They]_725-i went . CHAPTER IV From [my]_0-i discourse with [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} , and from the above reported conference between [Bessie]_195-bessie and [Abbot]_176-abbot , [I]_0-i gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well : a change seemed near , - [I]_0-i desired and waited it in silence . It tarried , however : days and weeks passed : [I]_0-i had regained [my]_0-i normal state of health , but no new allusion was made to the subject over which [I]_0-i brooded . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} surveyed [me]_0-i at times with a severe eye , but seldom addressed [me]_0-i : since [my]_0-i illness , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between [me]_0-i and [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} own children]_{617-her own children} ; appointing [me]_0-i [a small closet to sleep in by [myself]_0-i]_{727-a small closet to sleep in by myself} , condemning [me]_0-i to take [my]_0-i meals alone , and pass all [my]_0-i time in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , while [[my]_0-i cousins]_{729-my cousins} were constantly in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} . Not a hint , however , did [she]_{156-mrs. reed} drop about sending [me]_0-i to [school]_537-school : still [I]_0-i felt an instinctive certainty that [she]_{156-mrs. reed} would not long endure [me]_0-i under the same roof with [her]_{156-mrs. reed} ; for [her]_{156-mrs. reed} glance , now more than ever , when turned on [me]_0-i , expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion . [Eliza]_158-eliza and [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} , evidently acting according to orders , spoke to [me]_0-i as little as possible : [John]_159-john thrust [his]_159-john tongue in [his]_159-john cheek whenever [he]_159-john saw [me]_0-i , and once attempted chastisement ; but as [I]_0-i instantly turned against [him]_159-john , roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred [my]_0-i corruption before , [he]_159-john thought it better to desist , and ran from [me]_0-i tittering execrations , and vowing [I]_0-i had burst [his]_159-john nose . [I]_0-i had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as [my]_0-i knuckles could inflict ; and when [I]_0-i saw that either that or [my]_0-i look daunted [him]_159-john , [I]_0-i had the greatest inclination to follow up [my]_0-i advantage to purpose ; but [he]_159-john was already with [[his]_159-john mama]_{538-his mama} . [I]_0-i heard [him]_159-john in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how " that nasty [Jane Eyre]_146-jane "_[159-john] had flown at [him]_159-john like a mad cat : [he]_159-john was stopped rather harshly - " Do n't talk to [me]_159-john about [her]_146-jane , [John]_159-john : [I]_159-john told [you]_159-john not to go near [her]_146-jane ; [she]_146-jane is not worthy of notice ; [I]_159-john do not choose that either [you]_159-john or [[your]_159-john sisters]_{4419-your sisters} should associate with [her]_146-jane . "_[159-john] Here , leaning over the banister , [I]_0-i cried out suddenly , and without at all deliberating on [my]_0-i words - " [They]_4420-they are not fit to associate with [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} was rather [a stout woman]_{733-a stout woman} ; but , on hearing this strange and audacious declaration , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} ran nimbly up the stair , swept [me]_0-i like a whirlwind into [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , and crushing [me]_0-i down on the edge of [[my]_0-i crib]_{735-my crib} , dared [me]_0-i in an emphatic voice to rise from that place , or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day . " What would [Uncle Reed]_{193-uncle reed} say to [you]_0-i , if [he]_{193-uncle reed} were alive ? "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i scarcely voluntary demand . [I]_0-i say scarcely voluntary , for it seemed as if [my]_0-i tongue pronounced words without [my]_0-i will consenting to their utterance : something spoke out of [me]_0-i over which [I]_0-i had no control . " What ? "_{[156-mrs. reed]} said [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} under [her]_{156-mrs. reed} breath : [her]_{156-mrs. reed} usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} took [her]_{156-mrs. reed} hand from [my]_0-i arm , and gazed at [me]_0-i as if [she]_{156-mrs. reed} really did not know whether [I]_0-i were [child]_4354-child or [fiend]_737-fiend . [I]_0-i was now in for it . " [[My]_{156-mrs. reed} Uncle]_{4421-my uncle} [Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} is in [heaven]_4369-heaven , and can see all [you]_0-i do and think ; and so can [papa]_4423-papa and [mama]_4313-mama : [they]_4425-they know how [you]_0-i shut [me]_{156-mrs. reed} up all day long , and how [you]_0-i wish [me]_{156-mrs. reed} dead . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} soon rallied [her]_{156-mrs. reed} spirits : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} shook [me]_0-i most soundly , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} boxed both [my]_0-i ears , and then left [me]_0-i without a word . [Bessie]_195-bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour 's length , in which [she]_195-bessie proved beyond a doubt that [I]_0-i was [the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof]_{738-the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof} . [I]_0-i half believed [her]_{156-mrs. reed} ; for [I]_0-i felt indeed only bad feelings surging in [my]_0-i breast . November , December , and half of [January]_194-january passed away . Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead with the usual festive cheer ; presents had been interchanged , dinners and evening parties given . From every enjoyment [I]_0-i was , of course , excluded : [my]_0-i share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of [Eliza]_158-eliza and [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} , and seeing [them]_739-them descend to [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} , dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes , with hair elaborately ringletted ; and afterwards , in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played below , to the passing to and fro of [the butler and footman]_{741-the butler and footman} , to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed , to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing - room door opened and closed . When tired of this occupation , [I]_0-i would retire from [the stairhead]_{742-the stairhead} to [the solitary and silent nursery]_{743-the solitary and silent nursery} : there , though somewhat sad , [I]_0-i was not miserable . To speak truth , [I]_0-i had not the least wish to go into company , for in company [I]_0-i was very rarely noticed ; and if [Bessie]_195-bessie had but been kind and companionable , [I]_0-i should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with [her]_195-bessie , instead of passing them under the formidable eye of [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , in [a room full of [ladies]_745-ladies and [gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen}]_{744-a room full of ladies and gentlemen} . But [Bessie]_195-bessie , as soon as [she]_195-bessie had dressed [[her]_195-bessie young ladies]_{747-her young ladies} , used to take [herself]_195-bessie off to [the lively regions of [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} and [housekeeper]_{750-housekeeper} 's room]_{748-the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper 's room} , generally bearing the candle along with [her]_195-bessie . [I]_0-i then sat with [my]_0-i doll on [my]_0-i knee till the fire got low , glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than [myself]_0-i haunted [the shadowy room]_{751-the shadowy room} ; and when the embers sank to a dull red , [I]_0-i undressed hastily , tugging at knots and strings as [I]_0-i best might , and sought shelter from cold and darkness in [[my]_0-i crib]_{735-my crib} . To [this crib]_{753-this crib} [I]_0-i always took [my]_0-i doll ; [human beings]_{754-human beings} must love something , and , in the dearth of worthier objects of affection , [I]_0-i contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image , shabby as a miniature scarecrow . It puzzles [me]_0-i now to remember with what absurd sincerity [I]_0-i doated on this little toy , half fancying it alive and capable of sensation . [I]_0-i could not sleep unless it was folded in [my]_0-i night - gown ; and when it lay there safe and warm , [I]_0-i was comparatively happy , believing it to be happy likewise . Long did the hours seem while [I]_0-i waited the departure of [the company]_{755-the company} , and listened for the sound of [Bessie]_195-bessie 's step on the stairs : sometimes [she]_195-bessie would come up in the interval to seek [her]_195-bessie thimble or [her]_195-bessie scissors , or perhaps to bring [me]_0-i something by way of supper - a bun or a cheese - cake - then [she]_195-bessie would sit on the bed while [I]_0-i ate it , and when [I]_0-i had finished , [she]_195-bessie would tuck the clothes round [me]_0-i , and twice [she]_195-bessie kissed [me]_0-i , and said , " Good night , [Miss Jane]_146-jane . "_[195-bessie] When thus gentle , [Bessie]_195-bessie seemed to [me]_0-i the best , prettiest , kindest being in [the world]_{484-the world} ; and [I]_0-i wished most intensely that [she]_195-bessie would always be so pleasant and amiable , and never push [me]_0-i about , or scold , or task [me]_0-i unreasonably , as [she]_195-bessie was too often wo nt to do . [Bessie Lee]_195-bessie must , [I]_0-i think , have been [a girl of good natural capacity]_{757-a girl of good natural capacity} , for [she]_195-bessie was smart in all [she]_195-bessie did , and had a remarkable knack of narrative ; so , at least , [I]_0-i judge from the impression made on [me]_0-i by [her]_195-bessie nursery tales . [She]_195-bessie was pretty too , if [my]_0-i recollections of [her]_195-bessie face and person are correct . [I]_0-i remember [her]_195-bessie as [a slim young woman , with black hair , dark eyes , very nice features , and good , clear complexion]_{758-a slim young woman , with black hair , dark eyes , very nice features , and good , clear complexion} ; but [she]_195-bessie had a capricious and hasty temper , and indifferent ideas of principle or justice : still , such as [she]_195-bessie was , [I]_0-i preferred [her]_195-bessie to [any one else at [Gateshead Hall]_{18-gateshead hall}]_{759-any one else at gateshead hall} . It was the fifteenth of January , about nine o'clock in the morning : [Bessie]_195-bessie was gone down to breakfast ; [[my]_0-i cousins]_{729-my cousins} had not yet been summoned to [[their]_{729-my cousins} mama]_{512-their mama} ; [Eliza]_158-eliza was putting on [her]_158-eliza bonnet and warm garden - coat to go and feed [her]_158-eliza poultry , an occupation of which [she]_158-eliza was fond : and not less so of selling the eggs to [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} and hoarding up the money [she]_158-eliza thus obtained . [She]_158-eliza had a turn for traffic , and a marked propensity for saving ; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens , but also in driving hard bargains with [the gardener]_{763-the gardener} about flower - roots , seeds , and slips of plants ; [that functionary]_{764-that functionary} having orders from [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} to buy of [[his]_{764-that functionary} young lady]_{765-his young lady} all the products of [her]_158-eliza parterre [she]_158-eliza wished to sell : and [Eliza]_158-eliza would have sold the hair off [her]_158-eliza head if [she]_158-eliza could have made a handsome profit thereby . As to [her]_158-eliza money , [she]_158-eliza first secreted it in odd corners , wrapped in a rag or an old curl - paper ; but some of these hoards having been discovered by [the housemaid]_{648-the housemaid} , [Eliza]_158-eliza , fearful of one day losing [her]_158-eliza valued treasure , consented to intrust it to [[her]_158-eliza mother]_{767-her mother} , at a usurious rate of interest - fifty or sixty per cent . ; which interest [she]_158-eliza exacted every quarter , keeping [her]_158-eliza accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy . [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} sat on a high stool , dressing [her]_{192-miss georgiana} hair at the glass , and interweaving [her]_{192-miss georgiana} curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers , of which [she]_{192-miss georgiana} had found a store in a drawer in [the attic]_{768-the attic} . [I]_0-i was making [my]_0-i bed , having received strict orders from [Bessie]_195-bessie to get it arranged before [she]_195-bessie returned for [Bessie]_195-bessie now frequently employed [me]_0-i as a sort of [under - nurserymaid]_{769-under - nurserymaid} , to tidy [the room]_{535-the room} , dust the chairs , c. . Having spread the quilt and folded [my]_0-i night - dress , [I]_0-i went to the window - seat to put in order some picture - books and [doll]_771-doll 's house furniture scattered there ; an abrupt command from [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} to let [her]_{192-miss georgiana} playthings alone for the tiny chairs and mirrors , the fairy plates and cups , were [her]_{192-miss georgiana} property stopped [my]_0-i proceedings ; and then , for lack of other occupation , [I]_0-i fell to breathing on the frost - flowers with which the window was fretted , and thus clearing a space in the glass through which [I]_0-i might look out on [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} , where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost . From this window were visible [the porter 's lodge]_{773-the porter 's lodge} and [the carriage- road]_{774-the carriage- road} , and just as [I]_0-i had dissolved so much of the silver - white foliage veiling the panes as [left room]_{775-left room} to look out , [I]_0-i saw the gates thrown open and [a carriage]_{776-a carriage} roll through . [I]_0-i watched [it]_777-it ascending [the drive]_{778-the drive} with indifference ; carriages often came to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead , but none ever brought visitors in whom [I]_0-i was interested ; it stopped in front of [the house]_{4322-the house} , the door - bell rang loudly , [the new - comer]_{780-the new - comer} was admitted . All this being nothing to [me]_0-i , [my]_0-i vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin , which came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry - tree nailed against the wall near the casement . The remains of [my]_0-i breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table , and having crumbled a morsel of roll , [I]_0-i was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the window- sill , when [Bessie]_195-bessie came running [upstairs]_552-upstairs into [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . " [Miss Jane]_146-jane , take off [your]_146-jane pinafore ; what are [you]_146-jane doing [there]_4426-there ? Have [you]_146-jane washed [your]_146-jane hands and face this morning ? "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i gave another tug before [I]_0-i answered , for [I]_0-i wanted the bird to be secure of its bread : the sash yielded ; [I]_0-i scattered the crumbs , some on the stone sill , some on the cherry - tree bough , then , closing the window , [I]_0-i replied - " No , [Bessie]_195-bessie ; [I]_0-i have only just finished dusting . "_[0-i] " Troublesome , [careless child]_{4427-careless child} ! and what are [you]_146-jane doing now ? [You]_146-jane look quite red , as if [you]_146-jane had been about some mischief : what were [you]_146-jane opening the window for ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was spared the trouble of answering , for [Bessie]_195-bessie seemed in too great a hurry to listen to explanations ; [she]_195-bessie hauled [me]_0-i to [the washstand]_{783-the washstand} , inflicted a merciless , but happily brief scrub on [my]_0-i face and hands with soap , water , and a coarse towel ; disciplined [my]_0-i head with a bristly brush , denuded [me]_0-i of [my]_0-i pinafore , and then hurrying [me]_0-i to [the top of the stairs]_{784-the top of the stairs} , bid [me]_0-i go down directly , as [I]_0-i was wanted in [the breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} . [I]_0-i would have asked who wanted [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i would have demanded if [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} was [there]_4426-there ; but [Bessie]_195-bessie was already gone , and had closed the nursery - door upon [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i slowly descended . For nearly three months , [I]_0-i had never been called to [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's presence ; restricted so long to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , [the breakfast , dining , and drawing - rooms]_{788-the breakfast , dining , and drawing - rooms} were become for [me]_0-i awful regions , on which it dismayed [me]_0-i to intrude . [I]_0-i now stood in [the empty hall]_{789-the empty hall} ; before [me]_0-i was [the breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} door , and [I]_0-i stopped , intimidated and trembling . What [a miserable little poltroon]_{791-a miserable little poltroon} had fear , engendered of unjust punishment , made of [me]_0-i in those days ! [I]_0-i feared to return to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , and feared to go forward to [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} ; ten minutes [I]_0-i stood in agitated hesitation ; the vehement ringing of the breakfast - room bell decided [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i MUST enter . " Who could want [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked inwardly , as with both hands [I]_0-i turned the stiff door - handle , which , for a second or two , resisted [my]_0-i efforts . " What should [I]_0-i see besides [Aunt Reed]_{190-aunt reed} in [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} ? - [a man]_{4429-a man} or [a woman]_{4399-a woman} ? "_[0-i] The handle turned , the door unclosed , and passing through and curtseying low , [I]_0-i looked up at - a black pillar ! - such , at least , appeared to [me]_0-i , at first sight , the straight , narrow , sable - clad shape standing erect on the rug : the grim face at the top was like a carved mask , placed above the shaft by way of capital . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} occupied [her]_{156-mrs. reed} usual seat by the fireside ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} made a signal to [me]_0-i to approach ; [I]_0-i did so , and [she]_{156-mrs. reed} introduced [me]_0-i to [the stony stranger]_{794-the stony stranger} with the words : " This is [the little girl respecting whom [I]_{794-the stony stranger} applied to [you]_{794-the stony stranger}]_{4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you} . "_{[794-the stony stranger]} [HE]_{794-the stony stranger} , for it was [a man]_{4429-a man} , turned [his]_{794-the stony stranger} head slowly towards where [I]_0-i stood , and having examined [me]_0-i with the two inquisitive - looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows , said solemnly , and in a bass voice , " [Her]_{4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you} size is small : what is [her]_{4431-the little girl respecting whom i applied to you} age ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " Ten years . "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " So much ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} was the doubtful answer ; and [he]_{794-the stony stranger} prolonged [his]_{794-the stony stranger} scrutiny for some minutes . Presently [he]_{794-the stony stranger} addressed [me]_0-i - " [Your]_0-i name , [little girl]_{4432-little girl} ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[794-the stony stranger]} In uttering these words [I]_0-i looked up : [he]_{794-the stony stranger} seemed to [me]_0-i [a tall gentleman]_{796-a tall gentleman} ; but then [I]_0-i was very little ; [his]_{794-the stony stranger} features were large , and they and all the lines of [his]_{794-the stony stranger} frame were equally harsh and prim . " Well , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , and are [you]_0-i [a good child]_{4434-a good child} ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative : [[my]_0-i little world]_{797-my little world} held a contrary opinion : [I]_0-i was silent . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} answered for [me]_0-i by an expressive shake of the head , adding soon , " Perhaps the less said on that subject the better , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Sorry indeed to hear it ! [she]_{156-mrs. reed} and [I]_{794-the stony stranger} must have some talk ; "_{[794-the stony stranger]} and bending from the perpendicular , [he]_{794-the stony stranger} installed [his]_{794-the stony stranger} person in the arm- chair opposite [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's . " Come here , "_{[794-the stony stranger]} [he]_{794-the stony stranger} said . [I]_0-i stepped across the rug ; [he]_{794-the stony stranger} placed [me]_0-i square and straight before [him]_{794-the stony stranger} . What a face [he]_{794-the stony stranger} had , now that it was almost on a level with [mine]_0-i ! what a great nose ! and what a mouth ! and what large prominent teeth ! " No sight so sad as that of [a naughty child]_{4435-a naughty child} , "_{[794-the stony stranger]} [he]_{794-the stony stranger} began , " especially [a naughty little girl]_{4436-a naughty little girl} . Do [you]_0-i know where the wicked go after death ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " [They]_4437-they go to hell , "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i ready and orthodox answer . " And what is hell ? Can [you]_{794-the stony stranger} tell [me]_0-i that ? "_[0-i] " A pit full of fire . "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " And should [you]_{794-the stony stranger} like to fall into that pit , and to be burning there for ever ? "_{[794-the stony stranger]} " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " What must [you]_{794-the stony stranger} do to avoid it ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i deliberated a moment ; [my]_0-i answer , when it did come , was objectionable : " [I]_0-i must keep in good health , and not die . "_[0-i] " How can [you]_{794-the stony stranger} keep in good health ? Children younger than [you]_{794-the stony stranger} die daily . [I]_0-i buried [a little child of five years old]_{4439-a little child of five years old} only a day or two since , - [a good little child]_{4440-a good little child} , whose soul is now in heaven . It is to be feared the same could not be said of [you]_{794-the stony stranger} were [you]_{794-the stony stranger} to be called hence . "_[0-i] Not being in a condition to remove [his]_{794-the stony stranger} doubt , [I]_0-i only cast [my]_0-i eyes down on the two large feet planted on the rug , and sighed , wishing [myself]_0-i far enough away . " [I]_0-i hope that sigh is from the heart , and that [you]_{794-the stony stranger} repent of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to [[your]_{794-the stony stranger} excellent benefactress]_{4441-your excellent benefactress} . "_[0-i] " Benefactress ! [benefactress]_{4442-benefactress} ! "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i inwardly : " [they]_4443-they all call [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} [[my]_0-i benefactress]_{4444-my benefactress} ; if so , [a benefactress]_{4445-a benefactress} is a disagreeable thing . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_{156-mrs. reed} say [your]_{156-mrs. reed} prayers night and morning ? "_{[798-my interrogator]} continued [[my]_0-i interrogator]_{798-my interrogator} . " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[798-my interrogator]} " Do [you]_{156-mrs. reed} read [your]_{156-mrs. reed} Bible ? "_[0-i] " Sometimes . "_[0-i] " With pleasure ? Are [you]_{156-mrs. reed} fond of it ? "_{[798-my interrogator]} " [I]_0-i like Revelations , and the book of [Daniel]_197-daniel , and Genesis and [Samuel]_198-sam , and a little bit of Exodus , and some parts of Kings and Chronicles , and [Job]_199-job and [Jonah]_200-jonah . "_[0-i] " And the Psalms ? [I]_0-i hope [you]_{156-mrs. reed} like them ? "_[0-i] " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[798-my interrogator]} " No ? oh , shocking ! [I]_{798-my interrogator} have [a little boy]_{4448-a little boy} , younger than [you]_0-i , who knows six Psalms by heart : and when [you]_0-i ask [him]_{4448-a little boy} which [he]_{4448-a little boy} would rather have , a gingerbread - nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn , [he]_{4448-a little boy} says : ' Oh ! the verse of a Psalm ! [angels]_4449-angels sing Psalms ; ' says [he]_{4448-a little boy} , ' [I]_{798-my interrogator} wish to be a little angel here below ; ' [he]_{4448-a little boy} then gets two nuts in recompense for [his]_{4448-a little boy} infant piety . "_{[798-my interrogator]} " Psalms are not interesting , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i remarked . " That proves [you]_0-i have a wicked heart ; and [you]_0-i must pray to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} to change it : to give [you]_0-i a new and clean one : to take away [your]_0-i heart of stone and give [you]_0-i a heart of flesh . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was about to propound a question , touching the manner in which that operation of changing [my]_0-i heart was to be performed , when [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} interposed , telling [me]_0-i to sit down ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} then proceeded to carry on the conversation [herself]_{156-mrs. reed} . " [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} believe [I]_{156-mrs. reed} intimated in the letter which [I]_{156-mrs. reed} wrote to [you]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} three weeks ago , that [this little girl]_{4450-this little girl} has not quite the character and disposition [I]_{156-mrs. reed} could wish : should [you]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} admit [her]_{4450-this little girl} into [Lowood school]_{24-lowood school} , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} should be glad if [the superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} and [teachers]_{4452-teachers} were requested to keep a strict eye on [her]_{4450-this little girl} , and , above all , to guard against [her]_{4450-this little girl} worst fault , a tendency to deceit . [I]_{156-mrs. reed} mention this in [your]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} hearing , [Jane]_146-jane , that [you]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} may not attempt to impose on [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} Well might [I]_0-i dread , well might [I]_0-i dislike [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ; for it was [her]_{156-mrs. reed} nature to wound [me]_0-i cruelly ; never was [I]_0-i happy in [her]_{156-mrs. reed} presence ; however carefully [I]_0-i obeyed , however strenuously [I]_0-i strove to please [her]_{156-mrs. reed} , [my]_0-i efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above . Now , uttered before [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} , the accusation cut [me]_0-i to the heart ; [I]_0-i dimly perceived that [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which [she]_{156-mrs. reed} destined [me]_0-i to enter ; [I]_0-i felt , though [I]_0-i could not have expressed the feeling , that [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was sowing aversion and unkindness along [my]_0-i future path ; [I]_0-i saw [myself]_0-i transformed under [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} 's eye into [an artful , noxious child]_{800-an artful , noxious child} , and what could [I]_0-i do to remedy the injury ? " Nothing , indeed , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , as [I]_0-i struggled to repress a sob , and hastily wiped away some tears , the impotent evidences of [my]_0-i anguish . " Deceit is , indeed , a sad fault in [a child]_{4305-a child} , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} said [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; " it is akin to falsehood , and [all liars]_{4454-all liars} will have [their]_{4454-all liars} portion in [the lake]_{4455-the lake} burning with fire and brimstone ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} shall , however , be watched , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} . [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} will speak to [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} and [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " [I]_{4444-my benefactress} should wish [her]_{156-mrs. reed} to be brought up in a manner suiting [her]_{156-mrs. reed} prospects , "_{[4444-my benefactress]} continued [[my]_0-i benefactress]_{4444-my benefactress} ; " to be made useful , to be kept humble : as for the vacations , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} will , with [your]_0-i permission , spend them always at [Lowood]_25-lowood . "_{[4444-my benefactress]} " [Your]_0-i decisions are perfectly judicious , [madam]_4457-madam , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} returned [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} . " Humility is a Christian grace , and one peculiarly appropriate to [the pupils of [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{4458-the pupils of lowood} ; [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , therefore , direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst [them]_{4458-the pupils of lowood} . [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} have studied how best to mortify in [them]_{4458-the pupils of lowood} the worldly sentiment of pride ; and , only the other day , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} had a pleasing proof of [my]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} success . [[My]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} second daughter]_{4459-my second daughter} , [Augusta]_202-augusta , went with [[her]_202-augusta mama]_{4460-her mama} to visit [the school]_{4461-the school} , and on [her]_202-augusta return [she]_202-augusta exclaimed : ' Oh , [dear papa]_{4462-dear papa} , how quiet and plain [all the girls at [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} look , with [their]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} hair combed behind [their]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} ears , and [their]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} long pinafores , and those little holland pockets outside [their]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} frocks - [they]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} are almost like [[poor people]_{4403-poor people} 's children]_{4465-poor people 's children} ! and , ' said [she]_202-augusta , ' [they]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} looked at [my]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} dress and [mama]_4313-mama 's , as if [they]_{4463-all the girls at lowood} had never seen a silk gown before . ' "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " This is the state of things [I]_{156-mrs. reed} quite approve , "_{[156-mrs. reed]} returned [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ; " had [I]_{156-mrs. reed} sought all [England]_21-england over , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} could scarcely have found a system more exactly fitting [a child]_{4305-a child} like [Jane Eyre]_146-jane . Consistency , [[my]_{156-mrs. reed} dear]_{4468-my dear} [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; [I]_{156-mrs. reed} advocate consistency in all things . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Consistency , [madam]_4457-madam , is the first of Christian duties ; and it has been observed in every arrangement connected with the establishment of [Lowood]_25-lowood : plain fare , simple attire , unsophisticated accommodations , hardy and active habits ; such is the order of the day in [the house]_{4322-the house} and [its inhabitants]_{4471-its inhabitants} . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " Quite right , [sir]_4374-sir . [I]_{156-mrs. reed} may then depend upon [this child]_{4473-this child} being received as [a pupil at [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{4474-a pupil at lowood} , and there being trained in conformity to [her]_{4473-this child} position and prospects ? "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " [Madam]_4457-madam , [you]_4457-madam may : [she]_{4473-this child} shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants , and [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} trust [she]_{4473-this child} will show [herself]_{4473-this child} grateful for the inestimable privilege of [her]_{4473-this child} election . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} will send [her]_{4473-this child} , then , as soon as possible , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; for , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} assure [you]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming too irksome . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " No doubt , no doubt , [madam]_4457-madam ; and now [I]_{156-mrs. reed} wish [you]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} good morning . [I]_{156-mrs. reed} shall return to [Brocklehurst Hall]_{26-brocklehurst hall} in the course of a week or two : [[my]_{156-mrs. reed} good friend]_{4477-my good friend} , [the Archdeacon]_{4478-the archdeacon} , will not permit [me]_{156-mrs. reed} to leave [him]_{4477-my good friend} sooner . [I]_{156-mrs. reed} shall send [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} notice that [she]_{201-miss temple} is to expect [a new girl]_{4479-a new girl} , so that there will [he]_{4477-my good friend} no difficulty about receiving [her]_{4479-a new girl} . Good - bye . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Good - bye , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; remember [me]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} to [Mrs.]_4480-mrs. and [Miss Brocklehurst]_{203-miss brocklehurst} , and to [Augusta]_202-augusta and [Theodore]_204-theodore , and [Master Broughton Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " [I]_{156-mrs. reed} will , [madam]_4457-madam . [Little girl]_{4432-little girl} , here is a book entitled the ' Child 's Guide , ' read it with prayer , especially that part containing ' An account of the awfully sudden death of [Martha G]_{205-martha g} - , [a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit]_{4483-a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit} . ' "_{[156-mrs. reed]} With these words [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} put into [my]_0-i hand a thin pamphlet sewn in a cover , and having rung for [[his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} carriage]_{802-his carriage} , [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} departed . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} and [I]_0-i were left alone : some minutes passed in silence ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was sewing , [I]_0-i was watching [her]_{156-mrs. reed} . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} might be at that time some six or seven and thirty ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was [a woman of robust frame]_{803-a woman of robust frame} , square - shouldered and strong - limbed , not tall , and , though stout , not obese : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had a somewhat large face , the under jaw being much developed and very solid ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} brow was low , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} chin large and prominent , mouth and nose sufficiently regular ; under [her]_{156-mrs. reed} light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} skin was dark and opaque , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} hair nearly flaxen ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} constitution was sound as a bell - illness never came near [her]_{156-mrs. reed} ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was [an exact , clever manager]_{804-an exact , clever manager} ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} household and [tenantry]_805-tenantry were thoroughly under [her]_{156-mrs. reed} control ; [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} children]_{599-her children} only at times defied [her]_{156-mrs. reed} authority and laughed it to scorn ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} dressed well , and had a presence and port calculated to set off handsome attire . Sitting on a low stool , a few yards from [her]_{156-mrs. reed} arm - chair , [I]_0-i examined [her]_{156-mrs. reed} figure ; [I]_0-i perused [her]_{156-mrs. reed} features . In [my]_0-i hand [I]_0-i held the tract containing the sudden death of [the Liar]_{807-the liar} , to which narrative [my]_0-i attention had been pointed as to an appropriate warning . What had just passed ; what [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} had said concerning [me]_0-i to [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; the whole tenor of [their]_808-their conversation , was recent , raw , and stinging in [my]_0-i mind ; [I]_0-i had felt every word as acutely as [I]_0-i had heard it plainly , and a passion of resentment fomented now within [me]_0-i . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} looked up from [her]_{156-mrs. reed} work ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} eye settled on [mine]_0-i , [her]_{156-mrs. reed} fingers at the same time suspended their nimble movements . " Go out of [the room]_{535-the room} ; return to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , "_{[156-mrs. reed]} was [her]_{156-mrs. reed} mandate . [My]_0-i look or something else must have struck [her]_{156-mrs. reed} as offensive , for [she]_{156-mrs. reed} spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation . [I]_0-i got up , [I]_0-i went to the door ; [I]_0-i came back again ; [I]_0-i walked to the window , across [the room]_{535-the room} , then close up to [her]_{156-mrs. reed} . SPEAK [I]_0-i must : [I]_0-i had been trodden on severely , and MUST turn : but how ? What strength had [I]_0-i to dart retaliation at [[my]_0-i antagonist]_{810-my antagonist} ? [I]_0-i gathered [my]_0-i energies and launched them in this blunt sentence - " [I]_0-i am not deceitful : if [I]_0-i were , [I]_0-i should say [I]_0-i loved [you]_{156-mrs. reed} ; but [I]_0-i declare [I]_0-i do not love [you]_{156-mrs. reed} : [I]_0-i dislike [you]_{156-mrs. reed} the worst of anybody in [the world]_{484-the world} except [John Reed]_159-john ; and this book about the liar , [you]_{156-mrs. reed} may give to [[your]_{156-mrs. reed} girl]_{4487-your girl} , [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} , for it is [she]_{4487-your girl} who tells lies , and not [I.]_0-i "_[0-i] [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's hands still lay on [her]_{156-mrs. reed} work inactive : [her]_{156-mrs. reed} eye of ice continued to dwell freezingly on [mine]_811-mine . " What more have [you]_0-i to say ? "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [she]_{156-mrs. reed} asked , rather in the tone in which [a person]_{812-a person} might address [an opponent of adult age]_{813-an opponent of adult age} than such as is ordinarily used to [a child]_{4305-a child} . That eye of [hers]_{156-mrs. reed} , that voice stirred every antipathy [I]_0-i had . Shaking from head to foot , thrilled with ungovernable excitement , [I]_0-i continued - " [I]_0-i am glad [you]_{156-mrs. reed} are [no relation of [mine]_0-i]_{4488-no relation of mine} : [I]_0-i will never call [you]_{156-mrs. reed} [aunt]_4489-aunt again as long as [I]_0-i live . [I]_0-i will never come to see [you]_{156-mrs. reed} when [I]_0-i am grown up ; and if [any one]_{591-any one} asks [me]_0-i how [I]_0-i liked [you]_{156-mrs. reed} , and how [you]_{156-mrs. reed} treated [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i will say the very thought of [you]_{156-mrs. reed} makes [me]_0-i sick , and that [you]_{156-mrs. reed} treated [me]_0-i with miserable cruelty . "_[0-i] " How dare [you]_{156-mrs. reed} affirm that , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? "_[0-i] " How dare [I]_0-i , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? How dare [I]_0-i ? Because it is the TRUTH . [You]_{156-mrs. reed} think [I]_0-i have no feelings , and that [I]_0-i can do without one bit of love or kindness ; but [I]_0-i can not live so : and [you]_{156-mrs. reed} have no pity . [I]_0-i shall remember how [you]_{156-mrs. reed} thrust [me]_0-i back - roughly and violently thrust [me]_0-i back - into [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} , and locked [me]_0-i up there , to [my]_0-i dying day ; though [I]_0-i was in agony ; though [I]_0-i cried out , while suffocating with distress , ' Have mercy ! Have mercy , [Aunt Reed]_{190-aunt reed} ! ' And that punishment [you]_{156-mrs. reed} made [me]_0-i suffer because [[your]_{156-mrs. reed} wicked boy]_{4492-your wicked boy} struck [me]_0-i - knocked [me]_0-i down for nothing . [I]_0-i will tell anybody who asks [me]_0-i questions , this exact tale . [People]_4493-people think [you]_{156-mrs. reed} [a good woman]_{4494-a good woman} , but [you]_{156-mrs. reed} are bad , hard- hearted . [YOU]_{156-mrs. reed} are deceitful ! "_[0-i] Ere [I]_0-i had finished this reply , [my]_0-i soul began to expand , to exult , with the strangest sense of freedom , of triumph , [I]_0-i ever felt . It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst , and that [I]_0-i had struggled out into unhoped - for liberty . Not without cause was this sentiment : [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} looked frightened ; [her]_{156-mrs. reed} work had slipped from [her]_{156-mrs. reed} knee ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was lifting up [her]_{156-mrs. reed} hands , rocking [herself]_{156-mrs. reed} to and fro , and even twisting [her]_{156-mrs. reed} face as if [she]_{156-mrs. reed} would cry . " [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane are under a mistake : what is the matter with [you]_146-jane ? Why do [you]_146-jane tremble so violently ? Would [you]_146-jane like to drink some water ? "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " No , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Is there anything else [you]_146-jane wish for , [Jane]_146-jane ? [I]_{156-mrs. reed} assure [you]_146-jane , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} desire to be [[your]_146-jane friend]_{4495-your friend} . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Not [you]_146-jane . [You]_146-jane told [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} [I]_{156-mrs. reed} had a bad character , a deceitful disposition ; and [I]_{156-mrs. reed} 'll let [everybody at]_{4496-everybody at} [Lowood]_25-lowood know what [you]_146-jane are , and what [you]_146-jane have done . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane do n't understand these things : [children]_524-children must be corrected for [their]_524-children faults . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " Deceit is not [my]_0-i fault ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i cried out in a savage , high voice . " But [you]_146-jane are passionate , [Jane]_146-jane , that [you]_146-jane must allow : and now return to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} - there 's [a dear]_{4499-a dear} - and lie down a little . "_[0-i] " [I]_{156-mrs. reed} am not [[your]_146-jane dear]_{4500-your dear} ; [I]_{156-mrs. reed} can not lie down : send [me]_{156-mrs. reed} to [school]_537-school soon , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , for [I]_{156-mrs. reed} hate to live [here]_4312-here . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} " [I]_{156-mrs. reed} will indeed send [her]_{4499-a dear} to [school]_537-school soon , "_{[156-mrs. reed]} murmured [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} sotto voce ; and gathering up [her]_{156-mrs. reed} work , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} abruptly quitted [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} . [I]_0-i was left [there]_4426-there alone - winner of [the field]_{817-the field} . It was the hardest battle [I]_0-i had fought , and the first victory [I]_0-i had gained : [I]_0-i stood awhile on the rug , where [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} had stood , and [I]_0-i enjoyed [[my]_0-i conqueror]_{818-my conqueror} 's solitude . First , [I]_0-i smiled to [myself]_0-i and felt elate ; but this fierce pleasure subsided in [me]_0-i as fast as did the accelerated throb of [my]_0-i pulses . [A child]_{4305-a child} can not quarrel with [[its]_{4305-a child} elders]_{820-its elders} , as [I]_0-i had done ; can not give [its]_{4305-a child} furious feelings uncontrolled play , as [I]_0-i had given [mine]_0-i , without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction . [A ridge of lighted heath]_{821-a ridge of lighted heath} , alive , glancing , devouring , would have been a meet emblem of [my]_0-i mind when [I]_0-i accused and menaced [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} : [the same ridge]_{822-the same ridge} , black and blasted after the flames are dead , would have represented as meetly [my]_0-i subsequent condition , when half - an - hour 's silence and reflection had shown [me]_0-i the madness of [my]_0-i conduct , and the dreariness of [my]_0-i hated and hating position . Something of vengeance [I]_0-i had tasted for the first time ; as aromatic wine it seemed , on swallowing , warm and racy : its after - flavour , metallic and corroding , gave [me]_0-i a sensation as if [I]_0-i had been poisoned . [Willingly]_{206-willingly} would [I]_0-i now have gone and asked [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's pardon ; but [I]_0-i knew , partly from experience and partly from instinct , that was the way to make [her]_{156-mrs. reed} repulse [me]_0-i with double scorn , thereby re - exciting every turbulent impulse of [my]_0-i nature . [I]_0-i would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking ; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation . [I]_0-i took a book - some Arabian tales ; [I]_0-i sat down and endeavoured to read . [I]_0-i could make no sense of the subject ; [my]_0-i own thoughts swam always between [me]_0-i and the page [I]_0-i had usually found fascinating . [I]_0-i opened the glass - door in [the breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} : the shrubbery was quite still : the black frost reigned , unbroken by sun or breeze , through [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} . [I]_0-i covered [my]_0-i head and arms with the skirt of [my]_0-i frock , and went out to walk in a part of [the plantation]_{825-the plantation} which was quite sequestrated ; but [I]_0-i found no pleasure in the silent trees , the falling fir - cones , the congealed relics of autumn , russet leaves , swept by past winds in heaps , and now stiffened together . [I]_0-i leaned against a gate , and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding , where the short grass was nipped and blanched . It was a very grey day ; a most opaque sky , " onding on snaw , "_{[828-a wretched child]} canopied all ; thence flakes felt it intervals , which settled on [the hard path]_{826-the hard path} and on [the hoary lea]_{827-the hoary lea} without melting . [I]_0-i stood , [a wretched child]_{828-a wretched child} enough , whispering to [myself]_0-i over and over again , " What shall [I]_0-i do ? - what shall [I]_0-i do ? "_[0-i] All at once [I]_0-i heard a clear voice call , " [Miss Jane]_146-jane ! where are [you]_146-jane ? Come to lunch ! "_[195-bessie] It was [Bessie]_195-bessie , [I]_0-i knew well enough ; but [I]_0-i did not stir ; [her]_195-bessie light step came tripping down [the path]_{829-the path} . " [You]_146-jane naughty little thing ! "_[195-bessie] [she]_195-bessie said . " Why do n't [you]_146-jane come when [you]_146-jane are called ? "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie 's presence , compared with the thoughts over which [I]_0-i had been brooding , seemed cheerful ; even though , as usual , [she]_195-bessie was somewhat cross . The fact is , after [my]_0-i conflict with and victory over [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , [I]_0-i was not disposed to care much for [the nursemaid]_{830-the nursemaid} 's transitory anger ; and [I]_0-i WAS disposed to bask in [her]_195-bessie youthful lightness of heart . [I]_0-i just put [my]_0-i two arms round [her]_195-bessie and said , " Come , [Bessie]_195-bessie ! do n't scold . "_[0-i] The action was more frank and fearless than any [I]_0-i was habituated to indulge in : somehow it pleased [her]_195-bessie . " [You]_0-i are [a strange child]_{4504-a strange child} , [Miss Jane]_146-jane , "_[195-bessie] [she]_195-bessie said , as [she]_195-bessie looked down at [me]_0-i ; " a little roving , solitary thing : and [you]_0-i are going to [school]_537-school , [I]_195-bessie suppose ? "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i nodded . " And wo n't [you]_0-i be sorry to leave poor [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " What does [Bessie]_195-bessie care for [me]_195-bessie ? [She]_195-bessie is always scolding [me]_195-bessie . "_[195-bessie] " Because [you]_0-i 're such [a queer , frightened , shy little thing]_{4506-a queer , frightened , shy little thing} . [You]_0-i should be bolder . "_[195-bessie] " What ! to get more knocks ? "_[195-bessie] " Nonsense ! But [you]_0-i are rather put upon , that 's certain . [[My]_195-bessie mother]_{612-my mother} said , when [she]_{612-my mother} came to see [me]_195-bessie last week , that [she]_{612-my mother} would not like a little one of [her]_{612-my mother} own to be in [your]_0-i place . - Now , come in , and [I]_195-bessie 've some good news for [you]_0-i . "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie do n't think [you]_0-i have , [Bessie]_195-bessie . "_[195-bessie] " [Child]_4354-child ! what do [you]_0-i mean ? What sorrowful eyes [you]_0-i fix on [me]_195-bessie ! Well , but [Missis]_178-missis and [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} and [Master John]_{177-st. john} are going out to tea this afternoon , and [you]_0-i shall have tea with [me]_195-bessie . [I]_195-bessie 'll ask [cook]_4510-cook to bake [you]_0-i a little cake , and then [you]_0-i shall help [me]_195-bessie to look over [your]_0-i drawers ; for [I]_195-bessie am soon to pack [your]_0-i trunk . [Missis]_178-missis intends [you]_0-i to leave [Gateshead]_20-gateshead in a day or two , and [you]_0-i shall choose what toys [you]_0-i like to take with [you]_0-i . "_[195-bessie] " [Bessie]_195-bessie , [you]_195-bessie must promise not to scold [me]_195-bessie any more till [I]_195-bessie go . "_[195-bessie] " Well , [I]_195-bessie will ; but mind [you]_195-bessie are [a very good girl]_{4511-a very good girl} , and do n't be afraid of [me]_195-bessie . Do n't start when [I]_195-bessie chance to speak rather sharply ; it 's so provoking . "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie do n't think [I]_195-bessie shall ever be afraid of [you]_195-bessie again , [Bessie]_195-bessie , because [I]_195-bessie have got used to [you]_195-bessie , and [I]_195-bessie shall soon have another set of [people to dread]_{4512-people to dread} . "_[195-bessie] " If [you]_195-bessie dread [them]_{4512-people to dread} [they]_{4512-people to dread} 'll dislike [you]_195-bessie . "_[195-bessie] " As [you]_195-bessie do , [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie do n't dislike [you]_195-bessie , [Miss]_4513-miss ; [I]_195-bessie believe [I]_195-bessie am fonder of [you]_195-bessie than of [all the others]_{4514-all the others} . "_[195-bessie] " [You]_195-bessie do n't show it . "_[195-bessie] " [You]_195-bessie little sharp thing ! [you]_195-bessie 've got quite a new way of talking . What makes [you]_195-bessie so venturesome and hardy ? "_[195-bessie] " Why , [I]_195-bessie shall soon be away from [you]_195-bessie , and besides "_[195-bessie] - [I]_0-i was going to say something about what had passed between [me]_0-i and [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , but on second thoughts [I]_0-i considered it better to remain silent on that head . " And so [you]_195-bessie 're glad to leave [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " Not at all , [Bessie]_195-bessie ; indeed , just now [I]_195-bessie 'm rather sorry . "_[195-bessie] " Just now ! and rather ! How coolly [[my]_0-i little lady]_{4515-my little lady} says it ! [I]_0-i dare say now if [I]_0-i were to ask [you]_195-bessie for a kiss [you]_195-bessie would n't give it [me]_0-i : [you]_195-bessie 'd say [you]_195-bessie 'd RATHER not . "_[0-i] " [I]_195-bessie 'll kiss [you]_195-bessie and welcome : bend [your]_195-bessie head down . "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie stooped ; [we]_831-we mutually embraced , and [I]_0-i followed [her]_195-bessie into [the house]_{4322-the house} quite comforted . That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony ; and in the evening [Bessie]_195-bessie told [me]_0-i some of [her]_195-bessie most enchanting stories , and sang [me]_0-i some of [her]_195-bessie sweetest songs . Even for [me]_0-i life had its gleams of sunshine . CHAPTER V Five o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January , when [Bessie]_195-bessie brought a candle into [[my]_0-i closet]_{833-my closet} and found [me]_0-i already up and nearly dressed . [I]_0-i had risen half - an - hour before [her]_195-bessie entrance , and had washed [my]_0-i face , and put on [my]_0-i clothes by the light of a half - moon just setting , whose rays streamed through the narrow window near [[my]_0-i crib]_{735-my crib} . [I]_0-i was to leave [Gateshead]_20-gateshead that day by [a coach]_{835-a coach} which passed the lodge gates at six a.m. [Bessie]_195-bessie was [the only person yet risen]_{836-the only person yet risen} ; [she]_195-bessie had lit a fire in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} , where [she]_195-bessie now proceeded to make [my]_0-i breakfast . [Few children]_{838-few children} can eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey ; nor could [I.]_0-i [Bessie]_195-bessie , having pressed [me]_0-i in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and bread [she]_195-bessie had prepared for [me]_0-i , wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and put them into [my]_0-i bag ; then [she]_195-bessie helped [me]_0-i on with [my]_0-i pelisse and bonnet , and wrapping [herself]_195-bessie in a shawl , [she]_195-bessie and [I]_0-i left [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . As [we]_840-we passed [[Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's bedroom]_{841-mrs. reed 's bedroom} , [she]_195-bessie said , " Will [you]_0-i go in and bid [Missis]_178-missis good - bye ? "_[195-bessie] " No , [Bessie]_195-bessie : [she]_178-missis came to [[my]_195-bessie crib]_{735-my crib} last night when [you]_0-i were gone down to supper , and said [I]_195-bessie need not disturb [her]_178-missis in the morning , or [[my]_195-bessie cousins]_{729-my cousins} either ; and [she]_178-missis told [me]_195-bessie to remember that [she]_178-missis had always been [[my]_195-bessie best friend]_{4518-my best friend} , and to speak of [her]_178-missis and be grateful to [her]_178-missis accordingly . "_[195-bessie] " What did [you]_0-i say , [Miss]_4519-miss ? "_[195-bessie] " Nothing : [I]_195-bessie covered [my]_195-bessie face with the bedclothes , and turned from [her]_178-missis to the wall . "_[195-bessie] " That was wrong , [Miss Jane]_146-jane . "_[195-bessie] " It was quite right , [Bessie]_195-bessie . [[Your]_195-bessie [Missis]_178-missis]_{4520-your missis} has not been [[my]_195-bessie friend]_{4521-my friend} : [she]_178-missis has been [[my]_195-bessie foe]_{4522-my foe} . "_[195-bessie] " [O Miss Jane]_146-jane ! do n't say so ! "_[195-bessie] " Good - bye to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead ! "_[0-i] cried [I]_0-i , as [we]_842-we passed through [the hall]_{608-the hall} and went out at the front door . The moon was set , and it was very dark ; [Bessie]_195-bessie carried a lantern , whose light glanced on wet steps and [gravel road]_{844-gravel road} sodden by a recent thaw . Raw and chill was the winter morning : [my]_0-i teeth chattered as [I]_0-i hastened down [the drive]_{778-the drive} . There was a light in [[the porter]_{846-the porter} 's lodge]_{773-the porter 's lodge} : when [we]_842-we reached [it]_{773-the porter 's lodge} , [we]_842-we found [[the porter]_{846-the porter} 's wife]_{849-the porter 's wife} just kindling [her]_{849-the porter 's wife} fire : [my]_0-i trunk , which had been carried down the evening before , stood corded at the door . It wanted but a few minutes of six , and shortly after that hour had struck , the distant roll of wheels announced [the coming coach]_{850-the coming coach} ; [I]_0-i went to the door and watched [its]_{850-the coming coach} lamps approach rapidly through the gloom . " Is [she]_{849-the porter 's wife} going by [herself]_{849-the porter 's wife} ? "_{[846-the porter]} asked [[the porter]_{846-the porter} 's wife]_{849-the porter 's wife} . " Yes . "_{[846-the porter]} " And how far is it ? "_{[855-the guard]} " Fifty miles . "_{[846-the porter]} " What a long way ! [I]_{846-the porter} wonder [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} is not afraid to trust [her]_{849-the porter 's wife} so far alone . "_{[846-the porter]} [The coach]_{853-the coach} drew up ; there it was at the gates with [its]_{853-the coach} four horses and its top laden with [passengers]_{854-passengers} : [the guard]_{855-the guard} and [coachman]_856-coachman loudly urged haste ; [my]_0-i trunk was hoisted up ; [I]_0-i was taken from [Bessie]_195-bessie 's neck , to which [I]_0-i clung with kisses . " Be sure and take good care of [her]_195-bessie , "_[195-bessie] cried [she]_195-bessie to [the guard]_{855-the guard} , as [he]_{855-the guard} lifted [me]_0-i into the inside . " Ay , ay ! "_{[855-the guard]} was the answer : the door was slapped to , a voice exclaimed " All right , "_{[855-the guard]} and on [we]_858-we drove . Thus was [I]_0-i severed from [Bessie]_195-bessie and [Gateshead]_20-gateshead ; thus whirled away to unknown , and , as [I]_0-i then deemed , [remote and mysterious regions]_{859-remote and mysterious regions} . [I]_0-i remember but little of the journey ; [I]_0-i only know that the day seemed to [me]_0-i of a preternatural length , and that [we]_858-we appeared to travel over [hundreds of miles of road]_{860-hundreds of miles of road} . [We]_858-we passed through [several towns]_{861-several towns} , and in [one , a very large one]_{862-one , a very large one} , [the coach]_{853-the coach} stopped ; the horses were taken out , and [the passengers]_{864-the passengers} alighted to dine . [I]_0-i was carried into [an inn]_{865-an inn} , where [the guard]_{855-the guard} wanted [me]_0-i to have some dinner ; but , as [I]_0-i had no appetite , [he]_{855-the guard} left [me]_0-i in [an immense room]_{867-an immense room} with a fireplace at each end , a chandelier pendent from the ceiling , and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled with musical instruments . Here [I]_0-i walked about for a long time , feeling very strange , and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and kidnapping [me]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i believed in [kidnappers]_{868-kidnappers} , [their]_{868-kidnappers} exploits having frequently figured in [[Bessie]_195-bessie 's fireside chronicles]_{869-bessie 's fireside chronicles} . At last [the guard]_{855-the guard} returned ; once more [I]_0-i was stowed away in [the coach]_{853-the coach} , [[my]_0-i protector]_{872-my protector} mounted [his]_{872-my protector} own seat , sounded [his]_{872-my protector} hollow horn , and away [we]_873-we rattled over [the ' stony street " of [L-]_28-l-]_{4523-the ' stony street " of l-} . The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty : as it waned into dusk , [I]_{872-my protector} began to feel that [we]_873-we were getting very far indeed from [Gateshead]_20-gateshead : [we]_873-we ceased to pass through [towns]_4524-towns ; [the country]_{4525-the country} changed ; [great grey hills]_{4526-great grey hills} heaved up round the horizon : as twilight deepened , [we]_873-we descended [a valley , dark with wood]_{4527-a valley , dark with wood} , and long after night had overclouded the prospect , [I]_{872-my protector} heard a wild wind rushing amongst trees . Lulled by the sound , [I]_{872-my protector} at last dropped asleep ; [I]_{872-my protector} had not long slumbered when the sudden cessation of motion awoke [me]_{872-my protector} ; the coach - door was open , and [a person like [a servant]_{4337-a servant}]_{4528-a person like a servant} was standing at [it]_4530-it : [I]_{872-my protector} saw [her]_{4528-a person like a servant} face and dress by the light of the lamps . "_{[872-my protector]} Is there [a little girl called [Jane Eyre]_146-jane [here]_4312-here]_{874-a little girl called jane eyre here} ? " [she]_{4528-a person like a servant} asked . [I]_{872-my protector} answered "_{[872-my protector]} Yes , " and was then lifted out ; [my]_{872-my protector} trunk was handed down , and [the coach]_{853-the coach} instantly drove away . [I]_{872-my protector} was stiff with long sitting , and bewildered with the noise and motion of [the coach]_{853-the coach} : Gathering [my]_{872-my protector} faculties , [I]_{872-my protector} looked about [me]_{872-my protector} . Rain , wind , and darkness filled the air ; nevertheless , [I]_{872-my protector} dimly discerned a wall before [me]_{872-my protector} and a door open in it ; through this door [I]_{872-my protector} passed with [[my]_{872-my protector} new guide]_{4533-my new guide} : [she]_{4528-a person like a servant} shut and locked it behind [her]_{4528-a person like a servant} . There was now visible [a house]_{4534-a house} or [houses]_665-houses - for [the building]_{4536-the building} spread far - with many windows , and lights burning in some ; [we]_4537-we went up [a broad pebbly path]_{4538-a broad pebbly path} , splashing wet , and were admitted at a door ; then [the servant]_{4539-the servant} led [me]_{872-my protector} through [a passage]_{4540-a passage} into [a room with a fire , where [she]_{4528-a person like a servant} left [me]_{872-my protector} alone]_{4541-a room with a fire , where she left me alone} . [I]_{872-my protector} stood and warmed [my]_{872-my protector} numbed fingers over the blaze , then [I]_{872-my protector} looked round ; there was no candle , but the uncertain light from the hearth showed , by intervals , papered walls , carpet , curtains , shining mahogany furniture : it was [a parlour]_{4542-a parlour} , not so spacious or splendid as [the drawing - room at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{4543-the drawing - room at gateshead} , but comfortable enough . [I]_{872-my protector} was puzzling to make out the subject of a picture on the wall , when the door opened , and [an individual carrying a light]_{4544-an individual carrying a light} entered ; [another]_4545-another followed close behind . [The first]_{4546-the first} was [a tall lady with dark hair , dark eyes , and a pale and large forehead]_{4547-a tall lady with dark hair , dark eyes , and a pale and large forehead} ; [her]_{4546-the first} figure was partly enveloped in a shawl , [her]_{4546-the first} countenance was grave , [her]_{4546-the first} bearing erect . "_{[872-my protector]} [The child]_{4339-the child} is very young to be sent alone , " said [she]_{4546-the first} , putting [her]_{4546-the first} candle down on the table . [She]_{4546-the first} considered [me]_{4339-the child} attentively for a minute or two , then further added - "_{[4339-the child]} [She]_{4339-the child} had better be put to bed soon ; [she]_{4339-the child} looks tired : are [you]_877-you tired ? " [she]_{4546-the first} asked , placing [her]_{4546-the first} hand on [my]_{4339-the child} shoulder . "_{[4339-the child]} A little , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am . " "_{[4339-the child]} And hungry too , no doubt : let [her]_{4339-the child} have some supper before [she]_{4339-the child} goes to bed , [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} . Is this the first time [you]_877-you have left [[your]_877-you parents]_{879-your parents} to come to [school]_537-school , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{881-my little girl} ? " [I]_{4339-the child} explained to [her]_{4546-the first} that [I]_{4339-the child} had [no parents]_{4548-no parents} . [She]_{4546-the first} inquired how long [they]_{879-your parents} had been dead : then how old [I]_{4339-the child} was , what was [my]_{4339-the child} name , whether [I]_{4339-the child} could read , write , and sew a little : then [she]_{4546-the first} touched [my]_{4339-the child} cheek gently with [her]_{4546-the first} forefinger , and saying , "_{[4339-the child]} [She]_{4339-the child} hoped [I]_0-i should be [a good child]_{4434-a good child} , " dismissed [me]_{4339-the child} along with [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} . [The lady [I]_{4339-the child} had left]_{4549-the lady i had left} might be about twenty - nine ; [the one who went with [me]_{4339-the child}]_{4550-the one who went with me} appeared some years younger : the first impressed [me]_{4339-the child} by [her]_{207-miss miller} voice , look , and air . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} was more ordinary ; ruddy in complexion , though of a careworn countenance ; hurried in gait and action , like [one who had always a multiplicity of tasks on hand]_{4551-one who had always a multiplicity of tasks on hand} : [she]_{207-miss miller} looked , indeed , what [I]_{4339-the child} afterwards found [she]_{207-miss miller} really was , [an under - teacher]_{4552-an under - teacher} . Led by [her]_{207-miss miller} , [I]_{4339-the child} passed from [compartment]_{4553-compartment} to [compartment]_{4553-compartment} , from passage to [passage]_4555-passage , of [a large and irregular building]_{4556-a large and irregular building} ; till , emerging from the total and somewhat dreary silence pervading [that portion of [the house]_{4322-the house} [we]_4559-we had traversed]_{4557-that portion of the house we had traversed} , [we]_4559-we came upon the hum of many voices , and presently entered [a wide , long room]_{4560-a wide , long room} , with great deal tables , two at each end , on each of which burnt a pair of candles , and seated all round on benches , [a congregation of [girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty]_{4562-girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty}]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} . Seen by the dim light of the dips , [their]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} number to [me]_{4339-the child} appeared countless , though not in reality exceeding eighty ; [they]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of quaint fashion , and long holland pinafores . It was the hour of study ; [they]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} were engaged in conning over [their]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} to- morrow 's task , and the hum [I]_{4339-the child} had heard was the combined result of [their]_{4561-a congregation of girls of every age , from nine or ten to twenty} whispered repetitions . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} signed to [me]_{4339-the child} to sit on a bench near the door , then walking up to the top of [the long room]_{4563-the long room} [she]_{207-miss miller} cried out - "_{[4339-the child]} Monitors , collect the lesson - books and put them away ! [Four tall girls]_{883-four tall girls} arose from different tables , and going round , gathered the books and removed them . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} again gave the word of command - " Monitors , fetch the supper - trays ! "_{[207-miss miller]} [The tall girls]_{884-the tall girls} went out and returned presently , each bearing a tray , with portions of something , [I]_0-i knew not what , arranged thereon , and a pitcher of water and mug in the middle of each tray . The portions were handed round ; [those who liked]_{885-those who liked} took a draught of the water , the mug being common to all . When it came to [my]_0-i turn , [I]_0-i drank , for [I]_0-i was thirsty , but did not touch the food , excitement and fatigue rendering [me]_0-i incapable of eating : [I]_0-i now saw , however , that it was a thin oaten cake shaved into fragments . The meal over , prayers were read by [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} , and the classes filed off , two and two , [upstairs]_552-upstairs . Overpowered by this time with weariness , [I]_0-i scarcely noticed what sort of a place [the bedroom]_{887-the bedroom} was , except that , like [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} , [I]_0-i saw it was very long . To - night [I]_0-i was to be [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} 's bed - fellow ; [she]_{207-miss miller} helped [me]_0-i to undress : when laid down [I]_0-i glanced at the long rows of beds , each of which was quickly filled with [two occupants]_{889-two occupants} ; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished , and amidst silence and complete darkness [I]_0-i fell asleep . The night passed rapidly . [I]_0-i was too tired even to dream ; [I]_0-i only once awoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts , and the rain fall in torrents , and to be sensible that [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} had taken [her]_{207-miss miller} place by [my]_0-i side . When [I]_0-i again unclosed [my]_0-i eyes , a loud bell was ringing ; [the girls]_{890-the girls} were up and dressing ; day had not yet begun to dawn , and a rushlight or two burned in [the room]_{535-the room} . [I]_0-i too rose reluctantly ; it was bitter cold , and [I]_0-i dressed as well as [I]_0-i could for shivering , and washed when there was a basin at liberty , which did not occur soon , as there was but one basin to [six girls]_{892-six girls} , on the stands down the middle of [the room]_{535-the room} . Again the bell rang : [all formed in file , two and two , and in that order]_{894-all formed in file , two and two , and in that order} descended the stairs and entered [the cold and dimly lit schoolroom]_{895-the cold and dimly lit schoolroom} : here prayers were read by [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} ; afterwards [she]_{207-miss miller} called out - " Form classes ! "_{[207-miss miller]} A great tumult succeeded for some minutes , during which [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} repeatedly exclaimed , " Silence ! "_{[207-miss miller]} and " Order ! "_{[207-miss miller]} When it subsided , [I]_0-i saw [them]_{890-the girls} all drawn up in four semicircles , before four chairs , placed at the four tables ; all held books in [their]_{890-the girls} hands , and a great book , like a Bible , lay on each table , before the vacant seat . A pause of some seconds succeeded , filled up by the low , vague hum of numbers ; [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} walked from class to class , hushing this indefinite sound . A distant bell tinkled : immediately [three ladies]_{896-three ladies} entered [the room]_{535-the room} , [each]_898-each walked to a table and took [her]_{207-miss miller} seat . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} assumed the fourth vacant chair , which was that nearest the door , and around which the smallest of [the children]_{645-the children} were assembled : to this inferior class [I]_0-i was called , and placed at the bottom of it . Business now began , the day 's Collect was repeated , then certain texts of Scripture were said , and to these succeeded a protracted reading of chapters in the Bible , which lasted an hour . By the time that exercise was terminated , day had fully dawned . The indefatigable bell now sounded for the fourth time : [the classes]_{900-the classes} were marshalled and marched into [another room]_{656-another room} to breakfast : how glad [I]_0-i was to behold a prospect of getting something to eat ! [I]_0-i was now nearly sick from inanition , having taken so little the day before . [The refectory]_{902-the refectory} was [a great , low - ceiled , gloomy room]_{903-a great , low - ceiled , gloomy room} ; on two long tables smoked basins of something hot , which , however , to [my]_0-i dismay , sent forth an odour far from inviting . [I]_0-i saw a universal manifestation of discontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of [those destined to swallow it]_{904-those destined to swallow it} ; from the van of the procession , [the tall girls of the first class]_{905-the tall girls of the first class} , rose the whispered words - " Disgusting ! The porridge is burnt again ! "_{[905-the tall girls of the first class]} " Silence ! "_{[905-the tall girls of the first class]} ejaculated a voice ; not that of [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} , but [one of [the upper teachers]_{907-the upper teachers} , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed [herself]_{906-one of the upper teachers , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed herself at the top of one table , while a more buxom lady presided at the other} at the top of one table , while [a more buxom lady]_{908-a more buxom lady} presided at the other]_{906-one of the upper teachers , a little and dark personage , smartly dressed , but of somewhat morose aspect , who installed herself at the top of one table , while a more buxom lady presided at the other} . [I]_0-i looked in vain for [her]_{207-miss miller} [I]_0-i had first seen the night before ; [she]_{207-miss miller} was not visible : [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} occupied the foot of the table where [I]_0-i sat , and [a strange , foreign - looking , elderly lady , [the French teacher]_{910-the french teacher} , as [I]_0-i afterwards found]_{909-a strange , foreign - looking , elderly lady , the french teacher , as i afterwards found} , took the corresponding seat at the other board . A long grace was said and a hymn sung ; then [a servant]_{4337-a servant} brought in some tea for [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} , and the meal began . Ravenous , and now very faint , [I]_0-i devoured a spoonful or two of [my]_0-i portion without thinking of its taste ; but the first edge of hunger blunted , [I]_0-i perceived [I]_0-i had got in hand a nauseous mess ; burnt porridge is almost as bad as rotten potatoes ; famine itself soon sickens over it . The spoons were moved slowly : [I]_0-i saw [each girl]_{913-each girl} taste [her]_{913-each girl} food and try to swallow it ; but in most cases the effort was soon relinquished . Breakfast was over , and [none]_914-none had breakfasted . Thanks being returned for what [we]_915-we had not got , and a second hymn chanted , [the refectory]_{902-the refectory} was evacuated for [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} . [I]_0-i was one of the last to go out , and in passing the tables , [I]_0-i saw [one teacher]_{918-one teacher} take a basin of the porridge and taste it ; [she]_{918-one teacher} looked at [the others]_{919-the others} ; all [their]_{919-the others} countenances expressed displeasure , and one of [them]_{919-the others} , [the stout one]_{920-the stout one} , whispered - " Abominable stuff ! How shameful ! "_{[919-the others]} A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began , during which [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} was in a glorious tumult ; for that space of time it seemed to be permitted to talk loud and more freely , and [they]_{919-the others} used [their]_{919-the others} privilege . The whole conversation ran on the breakfast , which [one and all]_{922-one and all} abused roundly . Poor things ! it was the sole consolation [they]_{919-the others} had . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} was now [the only teacher in [the room]_{535-the room}]_{923-the only teacher in the room} : [a group of great girls]_{925-a group of great girls} standing about [her]_{207-miss miller} spoke with serious and sullen gestures . [I]_0-i heard the name of [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} pronounced by some lips ; at which [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} shook [her]_{207-miss miller} head disapprovingly ; but [she]_{207-miss miller} made no great effort to cheek the general wrath ; doubtless [she]_{207-miss miller} shared in it . A clock in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} struck nine ; [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} left [her]_{207-miss miller} circle , and standing in the middle of [the room]_{535-the room} , cried - " Silence ! To [your]_0-i seats ! "_{[207-miss miller]} Discipline prevailed : in five minutes [the confused throng]_{928-the confused throng} was resolved into order , and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues . [The upper teachers]_{907-the upper teachers} now punctually resumed [their]_{907-the upper teachers} posts : but still , all seemed to wait . Ranged on benches down the sides of [the room]_{535-the room} , [the eighty girls]_{931-the eighty girls} sat motionless and erect ; a quaint assemblage [they]_{931-the eighty girls} appeared , all with plain locks combed from [their]_{931-the eighty girls} faces , not a curl visible ; in brown dresses , made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat , with little pockets of holland shaped something like [a Highlander]_{932-a highlander} 's purse tied in front of [their]_{931-the eighty girls} frocks , and destined to serve the purpose of a work - bag : all , too , wearing woollen stockings and country - made shoes , fastened with brass buckles . Above twenty of [those clad in this costume]_{933-those clad in this costume} were [full - grown girls]_{934-full - grown girls} , or rather [young women]_{935-young women} ; it suited [them]_{931-the eighty girls} ill , and gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest . [I]_0-i was still looking at [them]_{931-the eighty girls} , and also at intervals examining [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} - none of whom precisely pleased [me]_0-i ; for [the stout one]_{920-the stout one} was a little coarse , [the dark one]_{938-the dark one} not a little fierce , [the foreigner harsh and grotesque]_{939-the foreigner harsh and grotesque} , and [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} , poor thing ! looked purple , weather- beaten , and over - worked - when , as [my]_0-i eye wandered from face to face , [the whole school]_{940-the whole school} rose simultaneously , as if moved by a common spring . What was the matter ? [I]_0-i had heard no order given : [I]_0-i was puzzled . Ere [I]_0-i had gathered [my]_0-i wits , [the classes]_{900-the classes} were again seated : but as all eyes were now turned to one point , [mine]_0-i followed the general direction , and encountered [the personage who had received [me]_0-i last night]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} . [She]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} stood at the bottom of [the long room]_{4563-the long room} , on the hearth ; for there was a fire at each end ; [she]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} surveyed [the two rows of girls]_{944-the two rows of girls} silently and gravely . [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} approaching , seemed to ask [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} a question , and having received [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} answer , went back to [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} place , and said aloud - " [Monitor of [the first class]_{4565-the first class}]_{4564-monitor of the first class} , fetch the globes ! "_{[942-the personage who had received me last night]} While the direction was being executed , [the lady]_{945-the lady} consulted moved slowly up [the room]_{535-the room} . [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i have a considerable organ of veneration , for [I]_0-i retain yet the sense of admiring awe with which [my]_0-i eyes traced [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} steps . Seen now , in broad daylight , [she]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} looked tall , fair , and shapely ; brown eyes with a benignant light in their iris , and a fine pencilling of long lashes round , relieved the whiteness of [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} large front ; on each of [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} temples [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} hair , of a very dark brown , was clustered in round curls , according to the fashion of those times , when neither smooth bands nor long ringlets were in vogue ; [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} dress , also in the mode of the day , was of purple cloth , relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet ; a gold watch watches were not so common then as now shone at [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} girdle . Let [the reader]_{947-the reader} add , to complete the picture , refined features ; a complexion , if pale , clear ; and a stately air and carriage , and [he]_948-he will have , at least , as clearly as words can give it , a correct idea of the exterior of [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} - [Maria Temple]_{29-maria temple} , as [I]_0-i afterwards saw the name written in a prayer - book intrusted to [me]_0-i to carry to [church]_949-church . [The superintendent of Lowood]_{950-the superintendent of lowood} for such was this lady having taken [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} seat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables , summoned [the first class]_{4565-the first class} round [her]_{942-the personage who had received me last night} , and commenced giving a lesson on geography ; [the lower classes]_{952-the lower classes} were called by [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} : repetitions in history , grammar , c. , went on for an hour ; writing and arithmetic succeeded , and music lessons were given by [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} to [some of [the elder girls]_{955-the elder girls}]_{954-some of the elder girls} . The duration of each lesson was measured by the clock , which at last struck twelve . [The superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} rose - " [I]_{4451-the superintendent} have a word to address to [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} , "_{[4451-the superintendent]} said [she]_{4451-the superintendent} . The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth , but it sank at [her]_{4451-the superintendent} voice . [She]_{4451-the superintendent} went on - " [You]_{4456-the teachers} had this morning a breakfast which [you]_{4456-the teachers} could not eat ; [you]_{4456-the teachers} must be hungry : - [I]_{4451-the superintendent} have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served to [all]_4567-all . "_{[4451-the superintendent]} [The teachers]_{4456-the teachers} looked at [her]_{4451-the superintendent} with a sort of surprise . " It is to be done on [my]_{4451-the superintendent} responsibility , "_{[4451-the superintendent]} [she]_{4451-the superintendent} added , in an explanatory tone to [them]_{4456-the teachers} , and immediately afterwards left [the room]_{535-the room} . The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed , to the high delight and refreshment of [the whole school]_{940-the whole school} . The order was now given " To [the garden]_{4568-the garden} ! "_{[4451-the superintendent]} Each put on a coarse straw bonnet , with strings of coloured calico , and a cloak of grey frieze . [I]_0-i was similarly equipped , and , following [the stream]_{960-the stream} , [I]_0-i made [my]_0-i way into the open air . [The garden]_{4568-the garden} was a wide inclosure , surrounded with walls so high as to exclude every glimpse of prospect ; [a covered verandah]_{962-a covered verandah} ran down one side , and broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little beds : [these beds]_{963-these beds} were assigned as gardens for [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} to cultivate , and [each bed]_{965-each bed} had [an owner]_{966-an owner} . When full of flowers they would doubtless look pretty ; but now , at the latter end of January , all was wintry blight and brown decay . [I]_0-i shuddered as [I]_0-i stood and looked round [me]_0-i : it was an inclement day for outdoor exercise ; not positively rainy , but darkened by a drizzling yellow fog ; all under foot was still soaking wet with the floods of yesterday . The stronger among [the girls]_{890-the girls} ran about and engaged in active games , but [sundry pale and thin ones herded together for shelter and warmth]_{968-sundry pale and thin ones herded together for shelter and warmth} in [the verandah]_{969-the verandah} ; and amongst these , as the dense mist penetrated to their shivering frames , [I]_0-i heard frequently the sound of a hollow cough . As yet [I]_0-i had spoken to [no one]_{593-no one} , nor did [anybody]_4330-anybody seem to take notice of [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i stood lonely enough : but to that feeling of isolation [I]_0-i was accustomed ; it did not oppress [me]_0-i much . [I]_0-i leant against a pillar of [the verandah]_{969-the verandah} , drew [my]_0-i grey mantle close about [me]_0-i , and , trying to forget the cold which nipped [me]_0-i without , and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed [me]_0-i within , delivered [myself]_0-i up to the employment of watching and thinking . [My]_0-i reflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record : [I]_0-i hardly yet knew where [I]_0-i was ; [Gateshead]_20-gateshead and [my]_0-i past life seemed floated away to an immeasurable distance ; the present was vague and strange , and of the future [I]_0-i could form no conjecture . [I]_0-i looked round [the convent - like garden]_{973-the convent - like garden} , and then up at [the house]_{4322-the house} - [a large building , half of which]_{975-a large building , half of which} seemed grey and old , the other half quite new . [The new part , containing [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} and [dormitory]_{978-dormitory}]_{976-the new part , containing the schoolroom and dormitory} , was lit by mullioned and latticed windows , which gave [it]_{976-the new part , containing the schoolroom and dormitory} a church - like aspect ; a stone tablet over the door bore this inscription:- " [Lowood Institution]_{30-lowood institution} . - [This portion]_{4569-this portion} was rebuilt A.D. - , by [Naomi Brocklehurst]_{208-naomi brocklehurst} , of [Brocklehurst Hall]_{26-brocklehurst hall} , in [this county]_{4570-this county} . "_[0-i] " Let [your]_0-i light so shine before [men]_482-men , that [they]_482-men may see [your]_0-i good works , and glorify [[your]_0-i Father]_{4318-your father} which is in heaven . "_[0-i] - St. Matt . v. 16 . [I]_0-i read these words over and over again : [I]_0-i felt that an explanation belonged to [them]_979-them , and was unable fully to penetrate [their]_979-them import . [I]_0-i was still pondering the signification of " Institution , "_[0-i] and endeavouring to make out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture , when the sound of a cough close behind [me]_0-i made [me]_0-i turn [my]_0-i head . [I]_0-i saw [a girl]_{980-a girl} sitting on a stone bench near ; [she]_{980-a girl} was bent over a book , on the perusal of which [she]_{980-a girl} seemed intent : from where [I]_0-i stood [I]_0-i could see the title - it was " [Rasselas]_209-rasselas ; "_{[980-a girl]} a name that struck [me]_0-i as strange , and consequently attractive . In turning a leaf [she]_{980-a girl} happened to look up , and [I]_0-i said to [her]_{980-a girl} directly - " Is [your]_{980-a girl} book interesting ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had already formed the intention of asking [her]_{980-a girl} to lend it to [me]_0-i some day . " [I]_{980-a girl} like it , "_{[980-a girl]} [she]_{980-a girl} answered , after a pause of a second or two , during which [she]_{980-a girl} examined [me]_0-i . " What is it about ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i continued . [I]_0-i hardly know where [I]_0-i found the hardihood thus to open a conversation with [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} ; the step was contrary to [my]_0-i nature and habits : but [I]_0-i think [her]_{980-a girl} occupation touched a chord of sympathy somewhere ; for [I]_0-i too liked reading , though of a frivolous and childish kind ; [I]_0-i could not digest or comprehend the serious or substantial . " [You]_0-i may look at it , "_{[982-the girl]} replied [the girl]_{982-the girl} , offering [me]_0-i the book . [I]_0-i did so ; a brief examination convinced [me]_0-i that the contents were less taking than the title : " [Rasselas]_209-rasselas "_{[982-the girl]} looked dull to [my]_0-i trifling taste ; [I]_0-i saw nothing about fairies , nothing about genii ; no bright variety seemed spread over the closely - printed pages . [I]_0-i returned it to [her]_{980-a girl} ; [she]_{980-a girl} received it quietly , and without saying anything [she]_{980-a girl} was about to relapse into [her]_{980-a girl} former studious mood : again [I]_0-i ventured to disturb [her]_{980-a girl} - " Can [you]_0-i tell [me]_0-i what the writing on that stone over the door means ? What is [Lowood Institution]_{30-lowood institution} ? "_[0-i] " [This house where [you]_0-i are come to live]_{4573-this house where you are come to live} . "_[0-i] " And why do [they]_4574-they call it [Institution]_{4575-institution} ? Is it in any way different from [other schools]_{4576-other schools} ? "_[0-i] " It is partly [a charity - school]_{4577-a charity - school} : [you]_0-i and [I]_0-i , and [all the rest of [us]_{4578-all the rest of us}]_{4578-all the rest of us} , are [charity - children]_{4579-charity - children} . [I]_0-i suppose [you]_0-i are [an orphan]_{4580-an orphan} : are not either [[your]_0-i father]_{4318-your father} or [[your]_0-i mother]_{4582-your mother} dead ? "_[0-i] " [Both]_710-both died before [I]_0-i can remember . "_[0-i] " Well , [all [the girls]_{890-the girls} [here]_4312-here]_{4584-all the girls here} have lost either one or [both parents]_{4587-both parents} , and this is called [an institution for educating [orphans]_4589-orphans]_{4588-an institution for educating orphans} . "_[0-i] " Do [we]_{4578-all the rest of us} pay no money ? Do [they]_4590-they keep [us]_{4578-all the rest of us} for nothing ? "_[0-i] " [We]_{4578-all the rest of us} pay , or [[our]_{4578-all the rest of us} friends]_{4591-our friends} pay , fifteen pounds a year for each . "_[0-i] " Then why do [they]_4590-they call [us]_{4578-all the rest of us} [charity - children]_{4579-charity - children} ? "_[0-i] " Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching , and the deficiency is supplied by subscription . "_[0-i] " Who subscribes ? "_[0-i] " [Different benevolent - minded ladies and gentlemen in [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood} and in [London]_31-london]_{4593-different benevolent - minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood and in london} . "_[0-i] " Who was [Naomi Brocklehurst]_{208-naomi brocklehurst} ? "_[0-i] " [The lady who built the new part of [this house]_{4596-this house} as that tablet records , and whose [son]_4597-son overlooks and directs everything here . "_[0-i] " Why ? "_[0-i] " Because [he]_4597-son is [treasurer and manager of [the establishment]_{4599-the establishment}]_{4598-treasurer and manager of the establishment}]_{4595-the lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records , and whose son overlooks and directs everything here . " " why ? " " because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment} . "_[0-i] " Then [this house]_{4596-this house} does not belong to [that tall lady who wears a watch]_{4601-that tall lady who wears a watch} , and who said [we]_{4578-all the rest of us} [were to have some bread and cheese]_{4602-were to have some bread and cheese} ? "_[0-i] " To [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} ? Oh , no ! [I]_0-i wish it did : [she]_{201-miss temple} has to answer to [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} for all [she]_{201-miss temple} does . [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} buys all [our]_{4578-all the rest of us} food and all [our]_{4578-all the rest of us} clothes . "_[0-i] " Does [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} live [here]_4312-here ? "_[0-i] " No - two miles off , at [a large hall]_{4604-a large hall} . "_[0-i] " Is [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} [a good man]_{4605-a good man} ? "_[0-i] " [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} is [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , and is said to do a great deal of good . "_[0-i] " Did [you]_0-i say that [tall lady]_{4607-tall lady} was called [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} ? "_[0-i] " Yes . "_[0-i] " And what are [the other teachers]_{4608-the other teachers} called ? "_[0-i] " [The one with red cheeks]_{4609-the one with red cheeks} is called [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} ; [she]_{4609-the one with red cheeks} attends to the work , and cuts out - for [we]_{4578-all the rest of us} make [our]_{4578-all the rest of us} own clothes , [our]_{4578-all the rest of us} frocks , and pelisses , and everything ; [the little one with black hair]_{4610-the little one with black hair} is [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} ; [she]_{4610-the little one with black hair} teaches history and grammar , and hears the second class repetitions ; and [the one who wears a shawl]_{4611-the one who wears a shawl} , and has a pocket - handkerchief tied to [her]_{4611-the one who wears a shawl} side with a yellow ribband , is [Madame Pierrot]_{212-madame pierrot} : [she]_{212-madame pierrot} comes from [Lisle]_32-lisle , in [France]_33-france , and teaches French . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_0-i like [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} ? "_[0-i] " Well enough . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_0-i like [the little black one]_{4613-the little black one} , and [the Madame]_{4614-the madame} - ? - [I]_0-i can not pronounce [her]_{212-madame pierrot} name as [you]_0-i do . "_[0-i] " [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} is hasty - [you]_0-i must take care not to offend [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} ; [Madame Pierrot]_{212-madame pierrot} is not [a bad sort of person]_{4615-a bad sort of person} . "_[0-i] " But [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} is the best - is n't [she]_{201-miss temple} ? "_[0-i] " [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} is very good and very clever ; [she]_{201-miss temple} is above the rest , because [she]_{201-miss temple} knows far more than [they]_4616-they do . "_[0-i] " Have [you]_0-i been long [here]_4312-here ? "_[0-i] " Two years . "_[0-i] " Are [you]_0-i [an orphan]_{4580-an orphan} ? "_[0-i] " [[My]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} is dead . "_[0-i] " Are [you]_0-i happy [here]_4312-here ? "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i ask rather too many questions . [I]_0-i have given [you]_0-i answers enough for the present : now [I]_0-i want to read . "_[0-i] But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner ; all re - entered [the house]_{4322-the house} . The odour which now filled [the refectory]_{902-the refectory} was scarcely more appetising than that which had regaled [our]_985-our nostrils at breakfast : the dinner was served in two huge tin - plated vessels , whence rose a strong steam redolent of rancid fat . [I]_0-i found the mess to consist of indifferent potatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat , mixed and cooked together . Of this preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to [each pupil]_{986-each pupil} . [I]_0-i ate what [I]_0-i could , and wondered within [myself]_0-i whether every day 's fare would be like this . After dinner , [we]_985-our immediately adjourned to [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} : lessons recommenced , and were continued till five o'clock . The only marked event of the afternoon was , that [I]_0-i saw [the girl with whom [I]_0-i had conversed in [the verandah]_{969-the verandah} dismissed in disgrace by [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} from [a history class]_{990-a history class} , and sent to stand in the middle of [the large schoolroom]_{991-the large schoolroom}]_{988-the girl with whom i had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by miss scatcherd from a history class , and sent to stand in the middle of the large schoolroom} . The punishment seemed to [me]_0-i in a high degree ignominious , especially for [so great a girl]_{992-so great a girl} - [she]_{992-so great a girl} looked thirteen or upwards . [I]_0-i expected [she]_{992-so great a girl} would show signs of great distress and shame ; but to [my]_0-i surprise [she]_{992-so great a girl} neither wept nor blushed : composed , though grave , [she]_{992-so great a girl} stood , the central mark of all eyes . " How can [she]_{992-so great a girl} bear it so quietly - so firmly ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked of [myself]_0-i . " Were [I]_0-i in [her]_{992-so great a girl} place , it seems to [me]_0-i [I]_0-i should wish [the earth]_{663-the earth} to open and swallow [me]_0-i up . [She]_{992-so great a girl} looks as if [she]_{992-so great a girl} were thinking of something beyond [her]_{992-so great a girl} punishment - beyond [her]_{992-so great a girl} situation : of something not round [her]_{992-so great a girl} nor before [her]_{992-so great a girl} . [I]_0-i have heard of day - dreams - is [she]_{992-so great a girl} in a day - dream now ? [Her]_{992-so great a girl} eyes are fixed on the floor , but [I]_0-i am sure [they]_4622-they do not see it - [her]_{992-so great a girl} sight seems turned in , gone down into [her]_{992-so great a girl} heart : [she]_{992-so great a girl} is looking at what [she]_{992-so great a girl} can remember , [I]_0-i believe ; not at what is really present . [I]_0-i wonder what sort of [a girl]_{980-a girl} [she]_{992-so great a girl} is - whether good or naughty . "_[0-i] Soon after five p.m. [we]_993-we had another meal , consisting of a small mug of coffee , and half - a - slice of brown bread . [I]_0-i devoured [my]_0-i bread and drank [my]_0-i coffee with relish ; but [I]_0-i should have been glad of as much more - [I]_0-i was still hungry . Half - an - hour 's recreation succeeded , then study ; then the glass of water and the piece of oat - cake , prayers , and bed . Such was [my]_0-i first day at [Lowood]_25-lowood . CHAPTER VI The next day commenced as before , getting up and dressing by rushlight ; but this morning [we]_993-we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of washing ; the water in the pitchers was frozen . A change had taken place in the weather the preceding evening , and a keen north - east wind , whistling through the crevices of [our]_993-we bedroom windows all night long , had made [us]_993-we shiver in [our]_993-we beds , and turned the contents of the ewers to ice . Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible - reading was over , [I]_0-i felt ready to perish with cold . Breakfast - time came at last , and this morning the porridge was not burnt ; the quality was eatable , the quantity small . How small [my]_0-i portion seemed ! [I]_0-i wished it had been doubled . In the course of the day [I]_0-i was enrolled [a member of the fourth class]_{994-a member of the fourth class} , and regular tasks and occupations were assigned [me]_0-i : hitherto , [I]_0-i had only been [a spectator of the proceedings]_{995-a spectator of the proceedings} at [Lowood]_25-lowood ; [I]_0-i was now to become [an actor therein]_{996-an actor therein} . At first , being little accustomed to learn by heart , the lessons appeared to [me]_0-i both long and difficult ; the frequent change from task to task , too , bewildered [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i was glad when , about three o'clock in the afternoon , [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} put into [my]_0-i hands a border of muslin two yards long , together with needle , thimble , c. , and sent [me]_0-i to sit in [a quiet corner of [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom}]_{997-a quiet corner of the schoolroom} , with directions to hem the same . At that hour [most of [the others]_{919-the others}]_{999-most of the others} were sewing likewise ; but [one class]_{1001-one class} still stood round [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} 's chair reading , and as all was quiet , the subject of [their]_1002-their lessons could be heard , together with the manner in which [each girl]_{913-each girl} acquitted [herself]_{913-each girl} , and the animadversions or commendations of [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} on the performance . It was English history : among [the readers]_{1004-the readers} [I]_0-i observed [my]_0-i acquaintance of [the verandah]_{969-the verandah} : at the commencement of the lesson , [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} place had been at the top of [the class]_{1006-the class} , but for some error of pronunciation , or some inattention to stops , [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} was suddenly sent to the very bottom . Even in that obscure position , [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} continued to make [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} an object of constant notice : [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} was continually addressing to [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} such phrases as the following:- " [Burns]_213-helen "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} such it seems was [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} name : [the girls]_{890-the girls} [here]_4312-here were all called by [their]_{890-the girls} surnames , as [boys]_1009-boys are elsewhere , " [Burns]_213-helen , [you]_213-helen are standing on the side of [your]_213-helen shoe ; turn [your]_213-helen toes out immediately . "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} " [Burns]_213-helen , [you]_213-helen poke [your]_213-helen chin most unpleasantly ; draw it in . "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} " [Burns]_213-helen , [I]_{211-miss scatcherd} insist on [your]_213-helen holding [your]_213-helen head up ; [I]_{211-miss scatcherd} will not have [you]_213-helen before [me]_{211-miss scatcherd} in that attitude , "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} c. c. A chapter having been read through twice , the books were closed and [the girls]_{890-the girls} examined . The lesson had comprised part of the reign of [Charles I.]_{214-charles i.} , and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship - money , which most of [them]_1011-them appeared unable to answer ; still , every little difficulty was solved instantly when it reached [Burns]_213-helen : [her]_213-helen memory seemed to have retained the substance of the whole lesson , and [she]_213-helen was ready with answers on every point . [I]_0-i kept expecting that [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} would praise [her]_213-helen attention ; but , instead of that , [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} suddenly cried out - " [[You]_0-i dirty , [disagreeable girl]_{4625-disagreeable girl}]_{4624-you dirty , disagreeable girl} ! [you]_0-i have never cleaned [your]_0-i nails this morning ! "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} [Burns]_213-helen made no answer : [I]_0-i wondered at [her]_213-helen silence . " Why , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " does [she]_213-helen not explain that [she]_213-helen could neither clean [her]_213-helen nails nor wash [her]_213-helen face , as the water was frozen ? "_[0-i] [My]_0-i attention was now called off by [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} desiring [me]_0-i to hold a skein of thread : while [she]_{210-miss smith} was winding it , [she]_{210-miss smith} talked to [me]_0-i from time to time , asking whether [I]_0-i had ever been at [school]_537-school before , whether [I]_0-i could mark , stitch , knit , c. ; till [she]_{210-miss smith} dismissed [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i could not pursue [my]_0-i observations on [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} 's movements . When [I]_0-i returned to [my]_0-i seat , [that lady]_{1013-that lady} was just delivering an order of which [I]_0-i did not catch the import ; but [Burns]_213-helen immediately left [the class]_{1006-the class} , and going into [the small inner room where the books were kept]_{1015-the small inner room where the books were kept} , returned in half a minute , carrying in [her]_{1013-that lady} hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end . This ominous tool [she]_{210-miss smith} presented to [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} with a respectful curtesy ; then [she]_{210-miss smith} quietly , and without being told , unloosed [her]_{210-miss smith} pinafore , and [the teacher]_{1016-the teacher} instantly and sharply inflicted on [her]_{210-miss smith} neck a dozen strokes with the bunch of twigs . Not a tear rose to [Burns]_213-helen ' eye ; and , while [I]_0-i paused from [my]_0-i sewing , because [my]_0-i fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment of unavailing and impotent anger , not a feature of [her]_{1013-that lady} pensive face altered its ordinary expression . " [Hardened girl]_{4626-hardened girl} ! "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} exclaimed [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} ; " nothing can correct [you]_{4626-hardened girl} of [your]_{4626-hardened girl} slatternly habits : carry the rod away . "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} [Burns]_213-helen obeyed : [I]_0-i looked at [her]_{1013-that lady} narrowly as [she]_{1013-that lady} emerged from [the book - closet]_{1017-the book - closet} ; [she]_{1013-that lady} was just putting back [her]_{1013-that lady} handkerchief into [her]_{1013-that lady} pocket , and the trace of a tear glistened on [her]_{1013-that lady} thin cheek . The play - hour in the evening [I]_0-i thought the pleasantest fraction of the day at Lowood : the bit of bread , the draught of coffee swallowed at five o'clock had revived vitality , if it had not satisfied hunger : the long restraint of the day was slackened ; [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} felt warmer than in the morning - [its]_{888-the schoolroom} fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly , to supply , in some measure , the place of candles , not yet introduced : the ruddy gloaming , the licensed uproar , the confusion of many voices gave [one]_4415-one a welcome sense of liberty . On the evening of the day on which [I]_0-i had seen [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} flog [[her]_{211-miss scatcherd} pupil]_{1020-her pupil} , [Burns]_213-helen , [I]_0-i wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing groups without [a companion]_{1021-a companion} , yet not feeling lonely : when [I]_0-i passed the windows , [I]_0-i now and then lifted a blind , and looked out ; it snowed fast , a drift was already forming against the lower panes ; putting [my]_0-i ear close to the window , [I]_0-i could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within , the disconsolate moan of the wind outside . Probably , if [I]_0-i had lately left [a good home]_{1022-a good home} and [kind parents]_{1023-kind parents} , this would have been the hour when [I]_0-i should most keenly have regretted the separation ; that wind would then have saddened [my]_0-i heart ; this obscure chaos would have disturbed [my]_0-i peace ! as it was , [I]_0-i derived from both a strange excitement , and reckless and feverish , [I]_0-i wished the wind to howl more wildly , the gloom to deepen to darkness , and the confusion to rise to clamour . Jumping over forms , and creeping under tables , [I]_0-i made [my]_0-i way to [one of the fire - places]_{1024-one of the fire - places} ; there , kneeling by the high wire fender , [I]_0-i found [Burns]_213-helen , absorbed , silent , abstracted from all round [her]_213-helen by the companionship of a book , which [she]_213-helen read by the dim glare of the embers . " Is it still ' [Rasselas]_209-rasselas ' ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked , coming behind [her]_213-helen . " Yes , "_[213-helen] [she]_213-helen said , " and [I]_213-helen have just finished it . "_[213-helen] And in five minutes more [she]_213-helen shut it up . [I]_0-i was glad of this . " Now , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " [I]_0-i can perhaps get [her]_213-helen to talk . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i sat down by [her]_213-helen on the floor . " What is [your]_213-helen name besides [Burns]_213-helen ? "_[0-i] " [Helen]_213-helen . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_213-helen come a long way from here ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i come from a place farther north , quite on [the borders of [Scotland]_35-scotland]_{4627-the borders of scotland} . "_[0-i] " Will [you]_213-helen ever go back ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i hope so ; but [nobody]_4628-nobody can be sure of the future . "_[0-i] " [You]_213-helen must wish to leave [Lowood]_25-lowood ? "_[0-i] " No ! why should [I]_0-i ? [I]_0-i was sent to [Lowood]_25-lowood to get an education ; and it would be of no use going away until [I]_0-i have attained that object . "_[0-i] " But [that teacher]_{4629-that teacher} , [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} , is so cruel to [you]_213-helen ? "_[0-i] " Cruel ? Not at all ! [She]_{4629-that teacher} is severe : [she]_{4629-that teacher} dislikes [my]_0-i faults . "_[0-i] " And if [I]_0-i were in [your]_213-helen place [I]_0-i should dislike [her]_{4629-that teacher} ; [I]_0-i should resist [her]_{4629-that teacher} . If [she]_{4629-that teacher} struck [me]_0-i with that rod , [I]_0-i should get it from [her]_{4629-that teacher} hand ; [I]_0-i should break it under [her]_{4629-that teacher} nose . "_[0-i] " Probably [you]_213-helen would do nothing of the sort : but if [you]_213-helen did , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} would expel [you]_213-helen from [the school]_{4461-the school} ; that would be a great grief to [[your]_213-helen relations]_{4631-your relations} . It is far better to endure patiently a smart which [nobody]_4628-nobody feels but [yourself]_213-helen , than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with [you]_213-helen ; and besides , the Bible bids [us]_4633-us return good for evil . "_[0-i] " But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged , and to be sent to stand in the middle of [a room]_{4381-a room} full of [people]_4493-people ; and [you]_213-helen are such [a great girl]_{4636-a great girl} : [I]_1025-i am far younger than [you]_213-helen , and [I]_1025-i could not bear it . "_[1025-i] " Yet it would be [your]_213-helen duty to bear it , if [you]_213-helen could not avoid it : it is weak and silly to say [you]_213-helen CANNOT BEAR what it is [your]_213-helen fate to be required to bear . "_[1025-i] [I]_0-i heard [her]_1025-i with wonder : [I]_0-i could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance ; and still less could [I]_0-i understand or sympathise with the forbearance [she]_1025-i expressed for [her]_1025-i chastiser . Still [I]_0-i felt that [Helen Burns]_213-helen considered things by a light invisible to [my]_0-i eyes . [I]_0-i suspected [she]_213-helen might be right and [I]_0-i wrong ; but [I]_0-i would not ponder the matter deeply ; like [Felix]_216-felix , [I]_0-i put it off to a more convenient season . " [You]_213-helen say [you]_213-helen have faults , [Helen]_213-helen : what are they ? To [me]_0-i [you]_213-helen seem very good . "_[0-i] " Then learn from [me]_0-i , not to judge by appearances : [I]_0-i am , as [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} said , slatternly ; [I]_0-i seldom put , and never keep , things , in order ; [I]_0-i am careless ; [I]_0-i forget rules ; [I]_0-i read when [I]_0-i should learn [my]_0-i lessons ; [I]_0-i have no method ; and sometimes [I]_0-i say , like [you]_213-helen , [I]_0-i can not BEAR to be subjected to systematic arrangements . This is all very provoking to [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} , who is naturally neat , punctual , and particular . "_[0-i] " And cross and cruel , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i added ; but [Helen Burns]_213-helen would not admit [my]_0-i addition : [she]_213-helen kept silence . " Is [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} as severe to [you]_0-i as [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} ? "_[213-helen] At the utterance of [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's name , a soft smile flitted over [her]_213-helen grave face . " [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} is full of goodness ; it pains [her]_{201-miss temple} to be severe to [any one]_{591-any one} , even the worst in [the school]_{4461-the school} : [she]_{201-miss temple} sees [my]_0-i errors , and tells [me]_0-i of them gently ; and , if [I]_0-i do anything worthy of praise , [she]_{201-miss temple} gives [me]_0-i [my]_0-i meed liberally . One strong proof of [my]_0-i wretchedly defective nature is , that even [her]_{201-miss temple} expostulations , so mild , so rational , have not influence to cure [me]_0-i of [my]_0-i faults ; and even [her]_{201-miss temple} praise , though [I]_0-i value it most highly , can not stimulate [me]_0-i to continued care and foresight . "_[0-i] " That is curious , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , " it is so easy to be careful . "_[0-i] " For [YOU]_0-i [I]_0-i have no doubt it is . [I]_0-i observed [you]_0-i in [your]_0-i class this morning , and saw [you]_0-i were closely attentive : [your]_0-i thoughts never seemed to wander while [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} explained the lesson and questioned [you]_0-i . Now , [mine]_0-i continually rove away ; when [I]_0-i should be listening to [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} , and collecting all [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} says with assiduity , often [I]_0-i lose the very sound of [her]_{211-miss scatcherd} voice ; [I]_0-i fall into a sort of dream . Sometimes [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i am in [Northumberland]_{36-northumberland} , and that the noises [I]_0-i hear round [me]_0-i are the bubbling of [a little brook which runs through [Deepden]_37-deepden]_{4639-a little brook which runs through deepden} , near [[our]_4640-our house]_{4641-our house} ; - then , when it comes to [my]_0-i turn to reply , [I]_0-i have to be awakened ; and having heard nothing of what was read for listening to [the visionary brook]_{4642-the visionary brook} , [I]_0-i have no answer ready . "_[0-i] " Yet how well [you]_0-i replied this afternoon . "_[213-helen] " It was mere chance ; the subject on which [we]_4640-our had been reading had interested [me]_213-helen . This afternoon , instead of dreaming of [Deepden]_37-deepden , [I]_213-helen was wondering how [a man who wished to do right]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} could act so unjustly and unwisely as [Charles the First]_{218-charles the first} sometimes did ; and [I]_213-helen thought what a pity it was that , with [his]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} integrity and conscientiousness , [he]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} could see no farther than the prerogatives of [the crown]_{4644-the crown} . If [he]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} had but been able to look to a distance , and see how what [they]_4645-they [call the spirit of the age]_{4646-call the spirit of the age} was tending ! Still , [I]_213-helen like [Charles]_{218-charles the first} - [I]_213-helen respect [him]_{218-charles the first} - [I]_213-helen pity [him]_{218-charles the first} , [poor murdered king]_{4647-poor murdered king} ! Yes , [[his]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} enemies]_{4648-his enemies} were the worst : [they]_{4648-his enemies} shed blood [they]_{4648-his enemies} had no right to shed . How dared [they]_{4648-his enemies} kill [him]_{4643-a man who wished to do right} ! "_[213-helen] [Helen]_213-helen was talking to [herself]_213-helen now : [she]_213-helen had forgotten [I]_0-i could not very well understand [her]_213-helen - that [I]_0-i was ignorant , or nearly so , of the subject [she]_213-helen discussed . [I]_0-i recalled [her]_213-helen to [my]_0-i level . " And when [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} teaches [you]_213-helen , do [your]_213-helen thoughts wander then ? "_[0-i] " No , certainly , not often ; because [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} has generally something to say which is newer than [my]_213-helen own reflections ; [her]_{201-miss temple} language is singularly agreeable to [me]_213-helen , and the information [she]_{201-miss temple} communicates is often just what [I]_213-helen wished to gain . "_[213-helen] " Well , then , with [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} [you]_213-helen are good ? "_[213-helen] " Yes , in a passive way : [I]_0-i make no effort ; [I]_0-i follow as inclination guides [me]_0-i . There is no merit in such goodness . "_[0-i] " A great deal : [you]_213-helen are good to [those who are good to [you]_213-helen]_{4649-those who are good to you} . It is all [I]_213-helen ever desire to be . If [people]_4493-people were always kind and obedient to [those who are cruel and unjust]_{4651-those who are cruel and unjust} , [the wicked people]_{4652-the wicked people} would have it all [their]_{4652-the wicked people} own way : [they]_{4652-the wicked people} would never feel afraid , and so [they]_{4652-the wicked people} would never alter , but would grow worse and worse . When [we]_4653-we are struck at without a reason , [we]_4653-we should strike back again very hard ; [I]_213-helen am sure [we]_4653-we should - so hard as to teach [the person who struck [us]_4653-we never to do it again]_{4654-the person who struck us never to do it again} . "_[213-helen] " [You]_213-helen will change [your]_213-helen mind , [I]_213-helen hope , when [you]_213-helen grow older : as yet [you]_213-helen are but [a little untaught girl]_{4655-a little untaught girl} . "_[213-helen] " But [I]_0-i feel this , [Helen]_213-helen ; [I]_0-i must dislike those who , whatever [I]_0-i do to please [them]_{4652-the wicked people} , persist in disliking [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i must resist those who punish [me]_0-i unjustly . It is as natural as that [I]_0-i should love [those who show [me]_0-i affection , or submit to punishment when [I]_0-i feel it is deserved]_{4656-those who show me affection , or submit to punishment when i feel it is deserved} . "_[0-i] " [Heathens]_{4657-heathens} and [savage tribes]_{4658-savage tribes} hold that doctrine , but [Christians and civilised nations]_{4659-christians and civilised nations} disown it . "_[213-helen] " How ? [I]_213-helen do n't understand . "_[213-helen] " It is not violence that best overcomes hate - nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury . "_[0-i] " What then ? "_[213-helen] " Read the New Testament , and observe what [Christ]_148-christ says , and how [He]_148-christ acts ; make [His]_148-christ word [your]_213-helen rule , and [His]_148-christ conduct [your]_213-helen example . "_[213-helen] " What does [He]_148-christ say ? "_[0-i] " Love [[your]_213-helen enemies]_{4660-your enemies} ; bless [them]_{4660-your enemies} that curse [you]_213-helen ; do good to [them]_{4660-your enemies} that hate [you]_213-helen and despitefully use [you]_213-helen . "_[213-helen] " Then [I]_1026-i should love [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , which [I]_1026-i can not do ; [I]_1026-i should bless [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} son]_{4661-her son} [John]_{177-st. john} , which is impossible . "_[1026-i] In [her]_1026-i turn , [Helen Burns]_213-helen asked [me]_0-i to explain , and [I]_0-i proceeded forthwith to pour out , in [my]_0-i own way , the tale of [my]_0-i sufferings and resentments . Bitter and truculent when excited , [I]_0-i spoke as [I]_0-i felt , without reserve or softening . [Helen]_213-helen heard [me]_0-i patiently to the end : [I]_0-i expected [she]_213-helen would then make a remark , but [she]_213-helen said nothing . " Well , "_[213-helen] [I]_0-i asked impatiently , " is not [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} [a hard - hearted , bad woman]_{4662-a hard - hearted , bad woman} ? "_[0-i] " [She]_{156-mrs. reed} has been unkind to [you]_0-i , no doubt ; because [you]_0-i see , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} dislikes [your]_0-i cast of character , as [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} does [mine]_0-i ; but how minutely [you]_0-i remember all [she]_{156-mrs. reed} has done and said to [you]_0-i ! What a singularly deep impression [her]_{156-mrs. reed} injustice seems to have made on [your]_0-i heart ! No ill - usage so brands its record on [my]_213-helen feelings . Would [you]_0-i not be happier if [you]_0-i tried to forget [her]_{156-mrs. reed} severity , together with the passionate emotions it excited ? Life appears to [me]_213-helen too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs . [We]_4663-we are , and must be , one and all , burdened with faults in [this world]_{4664-this world} : but the time will soon come when , [I]_213-helen trust , [we]_4663-we shall put [them]_4665-them off in putting off [our]_4663-we corruptible bodies ; when debasement and sin will fall from [us]_4663-we with this cumbrous frame of flesh , and only the spark of the spirit will remain , - the impalpable principle of light and thought , pure as when it left [the Creator]_{219-the creator} to inspire the creature : whence it came it will return ; perhaps again to be communicated to [some being higher than man]_{4666-some being higher than man} - perhaps to pass through gradations of glory , from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph ! Surely it will never , on the contrary , be suffered to degenerate from [man]_4667-man to fiend ? No ; [I]_213-helen can not believe that : [I]_213-helen hold another creed : which [no one]_{593-no one} ever taught [me]_213-helen , and which [I]_213-helen seldom mention ; but in which [I]_213-helen delight , and to which [I]_213-helen cling : for it extends hope to all : it makes Eternity a rest - [a mighty home]_{4669-a mighty home} , not a terror and an abyss . Besides , with this creed , [I]_213-helen can so clearly distinguish between [the criminal]_{4670-the criminal} and [his]_{4670-the criminal} crime ; [I]_213-helen can so sincerely forgive the first while [I]_213-helen abhor the last : with this creed revenge never worries [my]_213-helen heart , degradation never too deeply disgusts [me]_213-helen , injustice never crushes [me]_213-helen too low : [I]_213-helen live in calm , looking to the end . "_[213-helen] [Helen]_213-helen 's head , always drooping , sank a little lower as [she]_213-helen finished this sentence . [I]_0-i saw by [her]_213-helen look [she]_213-helen wished no longer to talk to [me]_0-i , but rather to converse with [her]_213-helen own thoughts . [She]_213-helen was not allowed much time for meditation : a monitor , [a great rough girl]_{1027-a great rough girl} , presently came up , exclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent - " [Helen Burns]_213-helen , if [you]_213-helen do n't go and put [your]_213-helen drawer in order , and fold up [your]_213-helen work this minute , [I]_{1027-a great rough girl} 'll tell [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} to come and look at it ! "_{[1027-a great rough girl]} [Helen]_213-helen sighed as [her]_213-helen reverie fled , and getting up , obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay . CHAPTER VII [My]_0-i first quarter at Lowood seemed an age ; and not the golden age either ; it comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating [myself]_0-i to new rules and unwonted tasks . The fear of failure in these points harassed [me]_0-i worse than the physical hardships of [my]_0-i lot ; though these were no trifles . During January , February , and part of March , the deep snows , and , after their melting , the almost impassable roads , prevented [our]_1028-we stirring beyond the garden walls , except to go to [church]_949-church ; but within these limits [we]_1028-we had to pass an hour every day in the open air . [Our]_1028-we clothing was insufficient to protect [us]_1028-we from the severe cold : [we]_1028-we had no boots , the snow got into [our]_1028-we shoes and melted there : [our]_1028-we ungloved hands became numbed and covered with chilblains , as were [our]_1028-we feet : [I]_0-i remember well the distracting irritation [I]_0-i endured from this cause every evening , when [my]_0-i feet inflamed ; and the torture of thrusting the swelled , raw , and stiff toes into [my]_0-i shoes in the morning . Then the scanty supply of food was distressing : with the keen appetites of [growing children]_{1030-growing children} , [we]_1028-we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive [a delicate invalid]_{1031-a delicate invalid} . From this deficiency of nourishment resulted an abuse , which pressed hardly on [the younger pupils]_{1032-the younger pupils} : whenever [the famished great girls]_{1033-the famished great girls} had an opportunity , [they]_{1033-the famished great girls} would coax or menace [the little ones]_{1034-the little ones} out of [their]_{1033-the famished great girls} portion . Many a time [I]_0-i have shared between [two claimants]_{1035-two claimants} the precious morsel of brown bread distributed at tea - time ; and after relinquishing to a third half the contents of [my]_0-i mug of coffee , [I]_0-i have swallowed the remainder with an accompaniment of secret tears , forced from [me]_0-i by the exigency of hunger . Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season . [We]_1028-we had to walk two miles to [Brocklebridge Church]_{38-brocklebridge church} , where [[our]_1028-we patron]_{1036-our patron} officiated . [We]_1028-we set out cold , [we]_1028-we arrived at [church]_949-church colder : during the morning service [we]_1028-we became almost paralysed . It was too far to return to dinner , and an allowance of cold meat and bread , in the same penurious proportion observed in [our]_1028-we ordinary meals , was served round between the services . At the close of the afternoon service [we]_1028-we returned by [an exposed and hilly road]_{1038-an exposed and hilly road} , where the bitter winter wind , blowing over a range of [snowy summits to the north]_{1039-snowy summits to the north} , almost flayed the skin from [our]_1028-we faces . [I]_0-i can remember [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} walking lightly and rapidly along [our]_1028-we drooping line , [her]_{201-miss temple} plaid cloak , which the frosty wind fluttered , gathered close about [her]_{201-miss temple} , and encouraging [us]_1028-we , by precept and example , to keep up [our]_1028-we spirits , and march forward , as [she]_{201-miss temple} said , " like [stalwart soldiers]_{4671-stalwart soldiers} . "_{[201-miss temple]} [The other teachers]_{4608-the other teachers} , poor things , were generally [themselves]_{4608-the other teachers} too much dejected to attempt the task of cheering [others]_1041-others . How [we]_1028-we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when [we]_1028-we got back ! But , to [the little ones]_{1034-the little ones} at least , this was denied : each hearth in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} was immediately surrounded by a double row of [great girls]_{1044-great girls} , and behind [them]_1045-them [the younger children]_{1046-the younger children} crouched in groups , wrapping [their]_{1046-the younger children} starved arms in [their]_{1046-the younger children} pinafores . A little solace came at tea - time , in the shape of a double ration of bread - a whole , instead of a half , slice - with the delicious addition of a thin scrape of butter : it was the hebdomadal treat to which [we]_1028-we all looked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath . [I]_0-i generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this bounteous repast for [myself]_0-i ; but the remainder [I]_0-i was invariably obliged to part with . The Sunday evening was spent in repeating , by heart , the Church Catechism , and the fifth , sixth , and seventh chapters of [St. Matthew]_{220-st. matthew} ; and in listening to a long sermon , read by [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} , whose irrepressible yawns attested [her]_{207-miss miller} weariness . A frequent interlude of these performances was the enactment of the part of [Eutychus]_221-eutychus by [some half - dozen of [little girls , who , overpowered with sleep]_{1048-little girls , who , overpowered with sleep} , would fall down , if not out of the third loft]_{1047-some half - dozen of little girls , who , overpowered with sleep , would fall down , if not out of the third loft} , yet off the fourth form , and be taken up half dead . The remedy was , to thrust [them]_{1034-the little ones} forward into [the centre of [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom}]_{1049-the centre of the schoolroom} , and oblige [them]_{1034-the little ones} to stand there till the sermon was finished . Sometimes [their]_{1034-the little ones} feet failed [them]_{1034-the little ones} , and [they]_{1034-the little ones} sank together in a heap ; [they]_{1034-the little ones} were then propped up with [the monitors]_{1051-the monitors} ' high stools . [I]_0-i have not yet alluded to the visits of [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; and indeed [that gentleman]_{1052-that gentleman} was from [home]_509-home during the greater part of the first month after [my]_0-i arrival ; perhaps prolonging [his]_{1052-that gentleman} stay with [[his]_{1052-that gentleman} friend]_{1054-his friend} [the archdeacon]_{4478-the archdeacon} : [his]_{1052-that gentleman} absence was a relief to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i need not say that [I]_0-i had [my]_0-i own reasons for dreading [his]_{1052-that gentleman} coming : but come [he]_{1052-that gentleman} did at last . One afternoon [I]_0-i had then been three weeks at [Lowood]_25-lowood , as [I]_0-i was sitting with a slate in [my]_0-i hand , puzzling over a sum in long division , [my]_0-i eyes , raised in abstraction to the window , caught sight of [a figure just passing]_{1056-a figure just passing} : [I]_0-i recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline ; and when , two minutes after , [all the school]_{1057-all the school} , [teachers]_{4452-teachers} included , rose en masse , it was not necessary for [me]_0-i to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance [they]_{4452-teachers} thus greeted . A long stride measured [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} , and presently beside [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , who [herself]_{201-miss temple} had risen , stood the same black column which had frowned on [me]_0-i so ominously from [the hearthrug of [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{1060-the hearthrug of gateshead} . [I]_0-i now glanced sideways at [this piece of architecture]_{1061-this piece of architecture} . Yes , [I]_0-i was right : it was [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , buttoned up in a surtout , and looking longer , narrower , and more rigid than ever . [I]_0-i had [my]_0-i own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition ; too well [I]_0-i remembered the perfidious hints given by [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} about [my]_0-i disposition , c. ; the promise pledged by [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} to apprise [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} and [the teachers]_{4456-the teachers} of [my]_0-i vicious nature . All along [I]_0-i had been dreading the fulfilment of this promise , - [I]_0-i had been looking out daily for [the " Coming Man]_{222-the " coming man} , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} whose information respecting [my]_0-i past life and conversation was to brand [me]_0-i as [a bad child for ever]_{1063-a bad child for ever} : now there [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was . [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} stood at [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's side ; [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was speaking low in [her]_{201-miss temple} ear : [I]_0-i did not doubt [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was making disclosures of [my]_0-i villainy ; and [I]_0-i watched [her]_{201-miss temple} eye with painful anxiety , expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on [me]_0-i a glance of repugnance and contempt . [I]_0-i listened too ; and as [I]_0-i happened to be seated quite at the top of [the room]_{535-the room} , [I]_0-i caught most of what [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} said : its import relieved [me]_0-i from immediate apprehension . " [I]_1065-i suppose , [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , the thread [I]_1065-i bought at [Lowton]_39-lowton will do ; it struck [me]_1065-i that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises , and [I]_1065-i sorted the needles to match . [You]_0-i may tell [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} that [I]_1065-i forgot to make a memorandum of the darning needles , but [she]_{210-miss smith} shall have some papers sent in next week ; and [she]_{210-miss smith} is not , on any account , to give out more than one at a time to [each pupil]_{986-each pupil} : if [they]_{986-each pupil} have more , [they]_{986-each pupil} are apt to be careless and lose [them]_{986-each pupil} . And , O ma'am ! [I]_1065-i wish the woollen stockings were better looked to ! - when [I]_1065-i was [here]_4312-here last , [I]_1065-i went into [the kitchen - garden]_{4674-the kitchen - garden} and examined the clothes drying on the line ; there was a quantity of black hose in a very bad state of repair : from the size of the holes in them [I]_1065-i was sure they had not been well mended from time to time . "_[1065-i] [He]_1065-i paused . " [Your]_1065-i directions shall be attended to , [sir]_4374-sir , "_{[201-miss temple]} said [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} . " And , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , "_[1065-i] [he]_1065-i continued , " [the laundress]_{4677-the laundress} tells [me]_1065-i [some of [the girls]_{890-the girls}]_{4678-some of the girls} have two clean tuckers in the week : it is too much ; the rules limit [them]_{4678-some of the girls} to one . "_[1065-i] " [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} think [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} can explain that circumstance , [sir]_4374-sir . [Agnes]_223-agnes and [Catherine Johnstone]_{224-catherine johnstone} were invited to take tea with [some friends at [Lowton]_39-lowton]_{4681-some friends at lowton} last Thursday , and [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} gave [them]_{4678-some of the girls} leave to put on clean tuckers for the occasion . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} nodded . " Well , for once it may pass ; but please not to let the circumstance occur too often . And there is another thing which surprised [me]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} find , in settling accounts with [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} , that a lunch , consisting of bread and cheese , has twice been served out to [the girls]_{890-the girls} during the past fortnight . How is this ? [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} looked over the regulations , and [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} find no such meal as lunch mentioned . Who introduced this innovation ? and by what authority ? "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} " [I]_{201-miss temple} must be responsible for the circumstance , [sir]_4374-sir , "_{[201-miss temple]} replied [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} : " the breakfast was so ill prepared that [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} could not possibly eat it ; and [I]_{201-miss temple} dared not allow [them]_{4566-the pupils} to remain fasting till dinner - time . "_{[201-miss temple]} " [Madam]_4457-madam , allow [me]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} an instant . [You]_4457-madam are aware that [my]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} plan in bringing up [these girls]_{4687-these girls} is , not to accustom [them]_{4687-these girls} to habits of luxury and indulgence , but to render [them]_{4687-these girls} hardy , patient , self - denying . Should any little accidental disappointment of the appetite occur , such as the spoiling of a meal , the under or the over dressing of a dish , the incident ought not to be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort lost , thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution ; it ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} , by encouraging [them]_{4566-the pupils} to evince fortitude under temporary privation . A brief address on those occasions would not be mistimed , wherein [a judicious instructor]_{4689-a judicious instructor} would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of [the primitive Christians]_{4690-the primitive christians} ; to the torments of [martyrs]_4691-martyrs ; to the exhortations of [[our]_4692-our blessed Lord [Himself]_{4693-our blessed lord himself}]_{4693-our blessed lord himself} , calling upon [[His]_{4693-our blessed lord himself} disciples]_{4694-his disciples} to take up [their]_{4694-his disciples} cross and follow [Him]_{4693-our blessed lord himself} ; to [His]_{4693-our blessed lord himself} warnings that [man]_4667-man shall not live by bread alone , but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; to [His]_{4693-our blessed lord himself} divine consolations , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} If [ye]_1066-ye suffer hunger or thirst for [My]_0-i sake , happy are [ye]_1066-ye . " Oh , [madam]_4457-madam , when [you]_4457-madam put bread and cheese , instead of burnt porridge , into [these children]_{4697-these children} 's mouths , [you]_4457-madam may indeed feed [their]_{4697-these children} vile bodies , but [you]_4457-madam little think how [you]_4457-madam starve [their]_{4697-these children} immortal souls ! "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} again paused - perhaps overcome by [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} feelings . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} had looked down when [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} first began to speak to [her]_{201-miss temple} ; but [she]_{201-miss temple} now gazed straight before [her]_{201-miss temple} , and [her]_{201-miss temple} face , naturally pale as marble , appeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material ; especially [her]_{201-miss temple} mouth , closed as if it would have required [a sculptor]_{1067-a sculptor} 's chisel to open it , and [her]_{201-miss temple} brow settled gradually into petrified severity . Meantime , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , standing on the hearth with [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} hands behind [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} back , majestically surveyed [the whole school]_{940-the whole school} . Suddenly [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} eye gave a blink , as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked [its pupil]_{1069-its pupil} ; turning , [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} said in more rapid accents than [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} had hitherto used - " [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , what - WHAT is [that girl with curled hair ? Red hair]_{4698-that girl with curled hair ? red hair} , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , curled - curled all over ? "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} And extending [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} cane [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} pointed to the awful object , [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} hand shaking as [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} did so . " It is [Julia Severn]_{225-julia severn} , "_{[201-miss temple]} replied [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , very quietly . " [Julia Severn]_{225-julia severn} , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ! And why has [she]_{225-julia severn} , or any other , curled hair ? Why , in defiance of every precept and principle of [this house]_{4596-this house} , does [she]_{225-julia severn} conform to [the world]_{484-the world} so openly - here in an evangelical , charitable establishment - as to wear [her]_{225-julia severn} hair one mass of curls ? "_{[201-miss temple]} " [Julia]_{225-julia severn} 's hair curls naturally , "_{[201-miss temple]} returned [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , still more quietly . " Naturally ! Yes , but [we]_4703-we are not to conform to nature ; [I]_{201-miss temple} wish [these girls]_{4687-these girls} to be [the children of Grace]_{4705-the children of grace} : and why that abundance ? [I]_{201-miss temple} have again and again intimated that [I]_{201-miss temple} desire the hair to be arranged closely , modestly , plainly . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , [that girl]_{4706-that girl} 's hair must be cut off entirely ; [I]_{201-miss temple} will send [a barber]_{4707-a barber} to - morrow : and [I]_{201-miss temple} see others who have far too much of the excrescence - [that tall girl]_{4708-that tall girl} , tell [her]_{4708-that tall girl} to turn round . Tell all the first form to rise up and direct [their]_{4565-the first class} faces to the wall . "_{[201-miss temple]} [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} passed [her]_{201-miss temple} handkerchief over [her]_{201-miss temple} lips , as if to smooth away the involuntary smile that curled them ; [she]_{201-miss temple} gave the order , however , and when [the first class]_{4565-the first class} could take in what was required of [them]_{4565-the first class} , [they]_{4565-the first class} obeyed . Leaning a little back on [my]_0-i bench , [I]_0-i could see the looks and grimaces with which [they]_{4565-the first class} commented on this manoeuvre : it was a pity [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} could not see [them]_{4565-the first class} too ; [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} would perhaps have felt that , whatever [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} might do with the outside of the cup and platter , the inside was further beyond [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} interference than [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} imagined . [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes , then pronounced sentence . These words fell like the knell of doom - " All those top - knots must be cut off . "_{[201-miss temple]} [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} seemed to remonstrate . " [Madam]_4457-madam , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} pursued , " [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} have [a Master]_{4710-a master} to serve whose kingdom is not of [this world]_{4664-this world} : [my]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} mission is to mortify in [these girls]_{4687-these girls} the lusts of the flesh ; to teach [them]_{4687-these girls} to clothe [themselves]_{4687-these girls} with shame - facedness and sobriety , not with braided hair and costly apparel ; and [each of [the young persons]_{4714-the young persons} before [us]_4715-us]_{4713-each of the young persons before us} has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity itself might have woven ; these , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} repeat , must be cut off ; think of the time wasted , of - "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was here interrupted : [three other visitors]_{1071-three other visitors} , [ladies]_745-ladies , now entered [the room]_{535-the room} . [They]_{1071-three other visitors} ought to have come a little sooner to have heard [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} lecture on dress , for [they]_{1071-three other visitors} were splendidly attired in velvet , silk , and furs . [The two younger of the trio fine girls of sixteen and seventeen]_{1074-the two younger of the trio fine girls of sixteen and seventeen} had grey beaver hats , then in fashion , shaded with ostrich plumes , and from under the brim of this graceful head - dress fell a profusion of light tresses , elaborately curled ; [the elder lady]_{1075-the elder lady} was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl , trimmed with ermine , and [she]_{1075-the elder lady} wore a false front of French curls . [These ladies]_{1076-these ladies} were deferentially received by [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , as [Mrs.]_1077-mrs. and [the Misses Brocklehurst]_{226-the misses brocklehurst} , and conducted to seats of honour at [the top of [the room]_{535-the room}]_{1078-the top of the room} . It seems [they]_{1076-these ladies} had come in [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} with [[their]_{1076-these ladies} reverend relative]_{1081-their reverend relative} , and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of [the room]_{535-the room} [upstairs]_552-upstairs , while [he]_{1081-their reverend relative} transacted business with [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} , questioned [the laundress]_{4677-the laundress} , and lectured [the superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} . [They]_{1076-these ladies} now proceeded to address divers remarks and reproofs to [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} , who was charged with the care of the linen and the inspection of [the dormitories]_{1087-the dormitories} : but [I]_0-i had no time to listen to what [they]_{1076-these ladies} said ; other matters called off and enchanted [my]_0-i attention . Hitherto , while gathering up the discourse of [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} and [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , [I]_0-i had not , at the same time , neglected precautions to secure [my]_0-i personal safety ; which [I]_0-i thought would be effected , if [I]_0-i could only elude observation . To this end , [I]_0-i had sat well back on the form , and while seeming to be busy with [my]_0-i sum , had held [my]_0-i slate in such a manner as to conceal [my]_0-i face : [I]_0-i might have escaped notice , had not [my]_0-i treacherous slate somehow happened to slip from [my]_0-i hand , and falling with an obtrusive crash , directly drawn every eye upon [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i knew it was all over now , and , as [I]_0-i stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate , [I]_0-i rallied [my]_0-i forces for the worst . It came . " [A careless girl]_{4716-a careless girl} ! "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} said [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , and immediately after - " [It]_{4716-a careless girl} is [the new pupil]_{4717-the new pupil} , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} perceive . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} And before [I]_0-i could draw breath , " [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} must not forget [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} have a word to say respecting [her]_{4716-a careless girl} . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} Then aloud : how loud it seemed to [me]_0-i ! " Let [the child]_{4339-the child} who broke [her]_{4716-a careless girl} slate come forward ! "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} Of [my]_0-i own accord [I]_0-i could not have stirred ; [I]_0-i was paralysed : but [the two great girls who sit on each side of [me]_0-i]_{1088-the two great girls who sit on each side of me} , set [me]_0-i on [my]_0-i legs and pushed [me]_0-i towards [the dread judge]_{1089-the dread judge} , and then [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} gently assisted [me]_0-i to [his]_{1089-the dread judge} very feet , and [I]_0-i caught [her]_{201-miss temple} whispered counsel - " Do n't be afraid , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i saw it was an accident ; [you]_146-jane shall not be punished . "_[0-i] The kind whisper went to [my]_0-i heart like a dagger . " Another minute , and [she]_{201-miss temple} will despise [me]_0-i for [a hypocrite]_{4719-a hypocrite} , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i ; and an impulse of fury against [Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , [Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , and [Co.]_227-co. bounded in [my]_0-i pulses at the conviction . [I]_0-i was no [Helen Burns]_213-helen . " Fetch that stool , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} said [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , pointing to a very high one from which a monitor had just risen : it was brought . " Place [the child]_{4339-the child} upon it . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} And [I]_0-i was placed [there]_4426-there , by whom [I]_0-i do n't know : [I]_0-i was in no condition to note particulars ; [I]_0-i was only aware that [they]_1091-they had hoisted [me]_0-i up to the height of [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} 's nose , that [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was within a yard of [me]_0-i , and that a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of silvery plumage extended and waved below [me]_0-i . [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} hemmed . " [Ladies]_745-ladies , "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} said [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , turning to [[his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} family]_{1092-his family} , " [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , [teachers]_{4452-teachers} , and [children]_524-children , [you]_745-ladies all see [this girl]_{4724-this girl} ? "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} Of course [they]_{1092-his family} did ; for [I]_0-i felt [their]_{1092-his family} eyes directed like burning - glasses against [my]_0-i scorched skin . " [You]_745-ladies see [she]_{4724-this girl} is yet young ; [you]_745-ladies observe [she]_{4724-this girl} possesses the ordinary form of childhood ; [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} has graciously given [her]_{4724-this girl} the shape that [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} has given to [all of [us]_{4725-all of us}]_{4725-all of us} ; no signal deformity points [her]_{4724-this girl} out as a marked character . Who would think that [the Evil One]_{4726-the evil one} had already found [a servant]_{4337-a servant} and [agent]_4728-agent in [her]_{4724-this girl} ? Yet such , [I]_{1092-his family} grieve to say , is the case . "_{[1092-his family]} A pause - in which [I]_0-i began to steady the palsy of [my]_0-i nerves , and to feel that the Rubicon was passed ; and that the trial , no longer to be shirked , must be firmly sustained . " [[My]_{1093-the black marble clergyman} dear children]_{4729-my dear children} , "_{[1093-the black marble clergyman]} pursued [the black marble clergyman]_{1093-the black marble clergyman} , with pathos , " this is a sad , a melancholy occasion ; for it becomes [my]_{1093-the black marble clergyman} duty to warn [you]_{4729-my dear children} , that [this girl]_{4724-this girl} , who might be [one of [[God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's own lambs]_{4732-god 's own lambs}]_{4731-one of god 's own lambs} , is [a little castaway]_{4733-a little castaway} : not [a member of [the true flock]_{4735-the true flock}]_{4734-a member of the true flock} , but evidently [an interloper]_{4736-an interloper} and [an alien]_{4737-an alien} . [You]_{4729-my dear children} must be on [your]_{4729-my dear children} guard against [her]_{4724-this girl} ; [you]_{4729-my dear children} must shun [her]_{4724-this girl} example ; if necessary , avoid [her]_{4724-this girl} company , exclude [her]_{4724-this girl} from [your]_{4729-my dear children} sports , and shut [her]_{4724-this girl} out from [your]_{4729-my dear children} converse . [Teachers]_{4452-teachers} , [you]_{4729-my dear children} must watch [her]_{4724-this girl} : keep [your]_{4729-my dear children} eyes on [her]_{4724-this girl} movements , weigh well [her]_{4724-this girl} words , scrutinise [her]_{4724-this girl} actions , punish [her]_{4724-this girl} body to save [her]_{4724-this girl} soul : if , indeed , such salvation be possible , for [my]_{1093-the black marble clergyman} tongue falters while [I]_{1093-the black marble clergyman} tell it [this girl]_{4724-this girl} , [this child]_{4473-this child} , [the native of [a Christian land]_{4742-a christian land}]_{4741-the native of a christian land} , worse than [many a little heathen who says its prayers to [Brahma]_228-brahma and kneels before [Juggernaut]_{4744-juggernaut}]_{4743-many a little heathen who says its prayers to brahma and kneels before juggernaut} - [this girl]_{4724-this girl} is - [a liar]_{4746-a liar} ! "_{[1093-the black marble clergyman]} Now came a pause of ten minutes , during which [I]_0-i , by this time in perfect possession of [my]_0-i wits , observed [all the female Brocklehursts]_{1094-all the female brocklehursts} produce [their]_{1094-all the female brocklehursts} pocket - handkerchiefs and apply them to [their]_{1094-all the female brocklehursts} optics , while [the elderly lady]_{1095-the elderly lady} swayed [herself]_{1095-the elderly lady} to and fro , and [the two younger ones]_{1096-the two younger ones} whispered , " How shocking ! "_{[1095-the elderly lady]} [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} resumed . " This [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} learned from [[her]_{4724-this girl} benefactress]_{4747-her benefactress} ; from [the pious and charitable lady who adopted [her]_{4724-this girl} in [her]_{4724-this girl} orphan state]_{4748-the pious and charitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state} , reared [her]_{4724-this girl} as [[her]_{4724-this girl} own daughter]_{4749-her own daughter} , and whose kindness , whose generosity [the unhappy girl]_{4750-the unhappy girl} repaid by an ingratitude so bad , so dreadful , that at last [[her]_{4724-this girl} excellent patroness]_{4751-her excellent patroness} was obliged to separate [her]_{4724-this girl} from [[her]_{4724-this girl} own young ones]_{4752-her own young ones} , fearful lest [her]_{4724-this girl} vicious example should contaminate [their]_{1096-the two younger ones} purity : [she]_{4724-this girl} has sent [her]_{4724-this girl} here to be healed , even as [the Jews of old]_{4753-the jews of old} sent [their]_{4753-the jews of old} diseased to [the troubled pool of [Bethesda]_40-bethesda]_{4754-the troubled pool of bethesda} ; and , [teachers]_{4452-teachers} , [superintendent]_{4756-superintendent} , [I]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} beg of [you]_{4756-superintendent} not to allow the waters to stagnate round [her]_{4724-this girl} . "_{[196-mr. brocklehurst]} With this sublime conclusion , [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} adjusted the top button of [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} surtout , muttered something to [[his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} family]_{1092-his family} , who rose , bowed to [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , and then [all the great people]_{1098-all the great people} sailed in state from [the room]_{535-the room} . Turning at the door , [[my]_0-i judge]_{1100-my judge} said - " Let [her]_{4724-this girl} stand half - an - hour longer on that stool , and let [no one]_{593-no one} speak to [her]_{4724-this girl} during the remainder of the day . "_{[1100-my judge]} There was [I]_0-i , then , mounted aloft ; [I]_0-i , who had said [I]_0-i could not bear the shame of standing on [my]_0-i natural feet in the middle of [the room]_{535-the room} , was now exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy . What [my]_0-i sensations were no language can describe ; but just as [they]_1102-they all rose , stifling [my]_0-i breath and constricting [my]_0-i throat , [a girl]_{980-a girl} came up and passed [me]_0-i : in passing , [she]_{980-a girl} lifted [her]_{980-a girl} eyes . What a strange light inspired them ! What an extraordinary sensation that ray sent through [me]_0-i ! How the new feeling bore [me]_0-i up ! It was as if [a martyr]_{1104-a martyr} , [a hero]_{1105-a hero} , had passed [a slave]_{1106-a slave} or [victim , and imparted strength in the transit]_{1107-victim , and imparted strength in the transit} . [I]_0-i mastered the rising hysteria , lifted up [my]_0-i head , and took a firm stand on the stool . [Helen Burns]_213-helen asked some slight question about [her]_213-helen work of [Miss Smith]_{210-miss smith} , was chidden for the triviality of the inquiry , returned to [her]_213-helen place , and smiled at [me]_0-i as [she]_213-helen again went by . What a smile ! [I]_0-i remember it now , and [I]_0-i know that it was the effluence of fine intellect , of true courage ; it lit up [her]_213-helen marked lineaments , [her]_213-helen thin face , [her]_213-helen sunken grey eye , like a reflection from the aspect of [an angel]_{1108-an angel} . Yet at that moment [Helen Burns]_213-helen wore on [her]_213-helen arm " the untidy badge ; "_[213-helen] scarcely an hour ago [I]_0-i had heard [her]_213-helen condemned by [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because [she]_213-helen had blotted an exercise in copying it out . Such is the imperfect nature of [man]_4667-man ! such spots are there on the disc of [the clearest planet]_{1110-the clearest planet} ; and eyes like [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} 's can only see those minute defects , and are blind to the full brightness of the orb . CHAPTER VIII Ere the half - hour ended , five o'clock struck ; [school]_537-school was dismissed , and all were gone into [the refectory]_{902-the refectory} to tea . [I]_0-i now ventured to descend : it was deep dusk ; [I]_0-i retired into a corner and sat down on the floor . The spell by which [I]_0-i had been so far supported began to dissolve ; reaction took place , and soon , so overwhelming was the grief that seized [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i sank prostrate with [my]_0-i face to the ground . Now [I]_0-i wept : [Helen Burns]_213-helen was not [here]_4312-here ; nothing sustained [me]_0-i ; left to [myself]_0-i [I]_0-i abandoned [myself]_0-i , and [my]_0-i tears watered the boards . [I]_0-i had meant to be so good , and to do so much at [Lowood]_25-lowood : to make so many [friends]_1114-friends , to earn respect and win affection . Already [I]_0-i had made visible progress : that very morning [I]_0-i had reached the head of [[my]_0-i class]_{1115-my class} ; [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} had praised [me]_0-i warmly ; [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} had smiled approbation ; [she]_{201-miss temple} had promised to teach [me]_0-i drawing , and to let [me]_0-i learn French , if [I]_0-i continued to make similar improvement two months longer : and then [I]_0-i was well received by [[my]_0-i fellow - pupils]_{1116-my fellow - pupils} ; treated as an equal by [those of [my]_0-i own age]_{1117-those of my own age} , and not molested by any ; now , here [I]_0-i lay again crushed and trodden on ; and could [I]_0-i ever rise more ? " Never , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought ; and ardently [I]_0-i wished to die . While sobbing out this wish in broken accents , [some one]_{637-some one} approached : [I]_0-i started up - again [Helen Burns]_213-helen was near [me]_0-i ; the fading fires just showed [her]_213-helen coming up [the long , vacant room]_{1119-the long , vacant room} ; [she]_213-helen brought [my]_0-i coffee and bread . " Come , eat something , "_[213-helen] [she]_213-helen said ; but [I]_0-i put both away from [me]_0-i , feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i present condition . [Helen]_213-helen regarded [me]_0-i , probably with surprise : [I]_0-i could not now abate [my]_0-i agitation , though [I]_0-i tried hard ; [I]_0-i continued to weep aloud . [She]_213-helen sat down on the ground near [me]_0-i , embraced [her]_213-helen knees with [her]_213-helen arms , and rested [her]_213-helen head upon them ; in that attitude [she]_213-helen remained silent as [an Indian]_{1120-an indian} . [I]_0-i was the first who spoke - " [Helen]_213-helen , why do [you]_213-helen stay with [a girl whom [everybody]_{4413-everybody} believes to be [a liar]_{4746-a liar}]_{4758-a girl whom everybody believes to be a liar} ? "_[0-i] " [Everybody]_{4413-everybody} , [Jane]_146-jane ? Why , there are only [eighty people who have heard [you]_146-jane called so]_{4762-eighty people who have heard you called so} , and [the world]_{484-the world} contains [hundreds of millions]_{4764-hundreds of millions} . "_{[1120-an indian]} " But what have [I]_{1120-an indian} to do with [millions]_{4765-millions} ? The eighty , [I]_{1120-an indian} know , despise [me]_{1120-an indian} . "_{[1120-an indian]} " [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane are mistaken : probably [not one in [the school]_{4461-the school}]_{4766-not one in the school} either despises or dislikes [you]_146-jane : many , [I]_0-i am sure , pity [you]_146-jane much . "_[0-i] " How can [they]_{4762-eighty people who have heard you called so} pity [me]_{1120-an indian} after what [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} has said ? "_{[1120-an indian]} " [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} is not [a god]_{4768-a god} : nor is [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} even [a great and admired man]_{4769-a great and admired man} : [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} is little liked [here]_4312-here ; [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} never took steps to make [himself]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} liked . Had [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} treated [you]_146-jane as an especial favourite , [you]_146-jane would have found [enemies]_4771-enemies , declared or covert , all around [you]_146-jane ; as it is , [the greater number]_{4772-the greater number} would offer [you]_146-jane sympathy if [they]_{4772-the greater number} dared . [Teachers]_{4452-teachers} and [pupils]_4774-pupils may look coldly on [you]_146-jane for a day or two , but friendly feelings are concealed in [their]_{4772-the greater number} hearts ; and if [you]_146-jane persevere in doing well , these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for [their]_{4772-the greater number} temporary suppression . Besides , [Jane]_146-jane "_[1121-i] - [she]_1121-i paused . " Well , [Helen]_213-helen ? "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , putting [my]_0-i hand into [hers]_1121-i : [she]_1121-i chafed [my]_0-i fingers gently to warm them , and went on - " If all [the world]_{484-the world} hated [you]_146-jane , and believed [you]_146-jane wicked , while [your]_146-jane own conscience approved [you]_146-jane , and absolved [you]_146-jane from guilt , [you]_146-jane would not be without [friends]_1114-friends . "_[1121-i] " No ; [I]_1121-i know [I]_1121-i should think well of [myself]_1121-i ; but that is not enough : if [others]_1041-others do n't love [me]_1121-i [I]_1121-i would rather die than live - [I]_1121-i can not bear to be solitary and hated , [Helen]_213-helen . Look here ; to gain some real affection from [you]_213-helen , or [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , or [any other whom [I]_1121-i truly love]_{4778-any other whom i truly love} , [I]_1121-i would willingly submit to have the bone of [my]_1121-i arm broken , or to let a bull toss [me]_1121-i , or to stand behind a kicking horse , and let it dash its hoof at [my]_1121-i chest - "_[1121-i] " Hush , [Jane]_146-jane ! [you]_213-helen think too much of the love of [human beings]_{754-human beings} ; [you]_213-helen are too impulsive , too vehement ; the sovereign hand that created [your]_213-helen frame , and put life into it , has provided [you]_213-helen with other resources than [your]_213-helen feeble self , or than creatures feeble as [you]_213-helen . Besides [this earth]_{4780-this earth} , and besides [the race of [men]_482-men]_{4781-the race of men} , there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits : [that world]_{4783-that world} is round [us]_4784-us , for it is everywhere ; and those spirits watch [us]_4784-us , for [they]_4785-they are commissioned to guard [us]_4784-us ; and if [we]_4784-us were dying in pain and shame , if scorn smote [us]_4784-us on all sides , and hatred crushed [us]_4784-us , [angels]_4449-angels see [our]_4784-us tortures , recognise [our]_4784-us innocence if innocent [we]_4784-us be : as [I]_1121-i know [you]_213-helen are of this charge which [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} has weakly and pompously repeated at second - hand from [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ; for [I]_1121-i read a sincere nature in [your]_213-helen ardent eyes and on [your]_213-helen clear front , and [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown [us]_4784-us with a full reward . Why , then , should [we]_4784-us ever sink overwhelmed with distress , when life is so soon over , and death is so certain an entrance to happiness - to glory ? "_[1121-i] [I]_0-i was silent ; [Helen]_213-helen had calmed [me]_0-i ; but in the tranquillity [she]_213-helen imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness . [I]_0-i felt the impression of woe as [she]_213-helen spoke , but [I]_0-i could not tell whence it came ; and when , having done speaking , [she]_213-helen breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough , [I]_0-i momentarily forgot [my]_0-i own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for [her]_213-helen . Resting [my]_0-i head on [Helen]_213-helen 's shoulder , [I]_0-i put [my]_0-i arms round [her]_213-helen waist ; [she]_213-helen drew [me]_0-i to [her]_213-helen , and [we]_1122-we reposed in silence . [We]_1122-we had not sat long thus , when [another person came in . Some heavy clouds , swept from the sky by a rising wind]_{1123-another person came in . some heavy clouds , swept from the sky by a rising wind} , had left the moon bare ; and [her]_213-helen light , streaming in through a window near , shone full both on [us]_1122-we and on the approaching figure , which [we]_1122-we at once recognised as [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} . " [I]_213-helen came on purpose to find [you]_0-i , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , "_[213-helen] said [she]_213-helen ; " [I]_213-helen want [you]_0-i in [[my]_213-helen room]_{4787-my room} ; and as [Helen Burns]_213-helen is with [you]_0-i , [she]_213-helen may come too . "_[213-helen] [We]_1122-we went ; following [the superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} 's guidance , [we]_1122-we had to thread some intricate passages , and mount a staircase before [we]_1122-we reached [[her]_213-helen apartment]_{1125-her apartment} ; it contained a good fire , and looked cheerful . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} told [Helen Burns]_213-helen to be seated in a low arm - chair on one side of the hearth , and [herself]_{201-miss temple} taking another , [she]_{201-miss temple} called [me]_0-i to [her]_{201-miss temple} side . " Is it all over ? "_{[201-miss temple]} [she]_{201-miss temple} asked , looking down at [my]_0-i face . " Have [you]_0-i cried [your]_0-i grief away ? "_{[201-miss temple]} " [I]_{201-miss temple} am afraid [I]_{201-miss temple} never shall do that . "_{[201-miss temple]} " Why ? "_{[201-miss temple]} " Because [I]_{201-miss temple} have been wrongly accused ; and [you]_0-i , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , and [everybody else]_{4789-everybody else} , will now think [me]_{201-miss temple} wicked . "_{[201-miss temple]} " [We]_1122-we shall think [you]_0-i what [you]_0-i prove [yourself]_0-i to be , [[my]_{201-miss temple} child]_{4790-my child} . Continue to act as [a good girl]_{4791-a good girl} , and [you]_0-i will satisfy [us]_1122-we . "_{[201-miss temple]} " Shall [I]_1126-me , [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} ? "_[1126-me] " [You]_0-i will , "_[1126-me] said [she]_1126-me , passing [her]_1126-me arm round [me]_0-i . " And now tell [me]_1126-me who is [the lady whom [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} called [your]_0-i benefactress]_{4792-the lady whom mr. brocklehurst called your benefactress} ? "_[1126-me] " [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , [[[my]_1126-me uncle]_{4421-my uncle} 's wife]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} . [[My]_1126-me uncle]_{4421-my uncle} is dead , and [he]_{4421-my uncle} left [me]_1126-me to [her]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} care . "_[1126-me] " Did [she]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} not , then , adopt [you]_0-i of [her]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} own accord ? "_[1126-me] " No , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ; [she]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} was sorry to have to do it : but [[my]_1126-me uncle]_{4421-my uncle} , as [I]_1126-me have often heard [the servants]_{546-the servants} say , got [her]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} to promise before [he]_{4421-my uncle} died that [she]_{4794-my uncle 's wife} would always keep [me]_1126-me . "_[1126-me] " Well now , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane know , or at least [I]_0-i will tell [you]_146-jane , that when [a criminal]_{4799-a criminal} is accused , [he]_{4799-a criminal} is always allowed to speak in [his]_{4799-a criminal} own defence . [You]_146-jane have been charged with falsehood ; defend [yourself]_146-jane to [me]_0-i as well as [you]_146-jane can . Say whatever [your]_146-jane memory suggests is true ; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i resolved , in the depth of [my]_0-i heart , that [I]_0-i would be most moderate - most correct ; and , having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what [I]_0-i had to say , [I]_0-i told [her]_1127-her all the story of [my]_0-i sad childhood . Exhausted by emotion , [my]_0-i language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme ; and mindful of [Helen]_213-helen 's warnings against the indulgence of resentment , [I]_0-i infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary . Thus restrained and simplified , it sounded more credible : [I]_0-i felt as [I]_0-i went on that [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} fully believed [me]_0-i . In the course of the tale [I]_0-i had mentioned [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} as having come to see [me]_0-i after the fit : for [I]_0-i never forgot the , to [me]_0-i , frightful episode of [the red - room]_{4331-the red - room} : in detailing which , [my]_0-i excitement was sure , in some degree , to break bounds ; for nothing could soften in [my]_0-i recollection the spasm of agony which clutched [my]_0-i heart when [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} spurned [my]_0-i wild supplication for pardon , and locked [me]_0-i a second time in [the dark and haunted chamber]_{1129-the dark and haunted chamber} . [I]_0-i had finished : [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} regarded [me]_0-i a few minutes in silence ; [she]_{201-miss temple} then said - " [I]_{201-miss temple} know something of [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} ; [I]_{201-miss temple} shall write to [him]_{182-mr. lloyd} ; if [his]_{182-mr. lloyd} reply agrees with [your]_0-i statement , [you]_0-i shall be publicly cleared from every imputation ; to [me]_{201-miss temple} , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_0-i are clear now . "_{[201-miss temple]} [She]_{201-miss temple} kissed [me]_0-i , and still keeping [me]_0-i at [her]_{201-miss temple} side where [I]_0-i was well contented to stand , for [I]_0-i derived [a child]_{4305-a child} 's pleasure from the contemplation of [her]_{201-miss temple} face , [her]_{201-miss temple} dress , [her]_{201-miss temple} one or two ornaments , [her]_{201-miss temple} white forehead , [her]_{201-miss temple} clustered and shining curls , and beaming dark eyes , [she]_{201-miss temple} proceeded to address [Helen Burns]_213-helen . " How are [you]_213-helen to - night , [Helen]_213-helen ? Have [you]_213-helen coughed much to - day ? "_{[201-miss temple]} " Not quite so much , [I]_{201-miss temple} think , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am . "_{[201-miss temple]} " And the pain in [your]_213-helen chest ? "_{[201-miss temple]} " It is a little better . "_{[201-miss temple]} [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} got up , took [her]_{201-miss temple} hand and examined [her]_{201-miss temple} pulse ; then [she]_{201-miss temple} returned to [her]_{201-miss temple} own seat : as [she]_{201-miss temple} resumed it , [I]_0-i heard [her]_{201-miss temple} sigh low . [She]_{201-miss temple} was pensive a few minutes , then rousing [herself]_{201-miss temple} , [she]_{201-miss temple} said cheerfully - " But [you]_4801-you two are [[my]_{201-miss temple} visitors]_{4802-my visitors} to - night ; [I]_{201-miss temple} must treat [you]_4801-you as such . "_{[201-miss temple]} [She]_{201-miss temple} rang [her]_{201-miss temple} bell . " [Barbara]_229-barbara , "_{[201-miss temple]} [she]_{201-miss temple} said to the servant who answered it , " [I]_{201-miss temple} have not yet had tea ; bring the tray and place cups for [these two young ladies]_{4803-these two young ladies} . "_{[201-miss temple]} And a tray was soon brought . How pretty , to [my]_0-i eyes , did the china cups and bright teapot look , placed on the little round table near the fire ! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage , and the scent of the toast ! of which , however , [I]_0-i , to [my]_0-i dismay for [I]_0-i was beginning to be hungry discerned only a very small portion : [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} discerned it too . " [Barbara]_229-barbara , "_{[201-miss temple]} said [she]_{201-miss temple} , " can [you]_229-barbara not bring a little more bread and butter ? There is not enough for three . "_{[201-miss temple]} [Barbara]_229-barbara went out : [she]_229-barbara returned soon - " [Madam]_4457-madam , [Mrs. Harden]_{230-mrs. harden} says [she]_{230-mrs. harden} has sent up the usual quantity . "_{[230-mrs. harden]} [Mrs. Harden]_{230-mrs. harden} , be it observed , was [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} : a woman after [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} 's own heart , made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron . " Oh , very well ! "_{[201-miss temple]} returned [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} ; " [we]_1133-we must make it do , [Barbara]_229-barbara , [I]_{201-miss temple} suppose . "_{[201-miss temple]} And as [the girl]_{982-the girl} withdrew [she]_{201-miss temple} added , smiling , " Fortunately , [I]_{201-miss temple} have it in [my]_{201-miss temple} power to supply deficiencies for this once . "_{[201-miss temple]} Having invited [Helen]_213-helen and [me]_0-i to approach the table , and placed before each of [us]_1133-we a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast , [she]_{201-miss temple} got up , unlocked a drawer , and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper , disclosed presently to [our]_1133-we eyes a good - sized seed - cake . " [I]_{201-miss temple} meant to give each of [you]_1133-we some of this to take with [you]_1133-we , "_{[201-miss temple]} said [she]_{201-miss temple} , " but as there is so little toast , [you]_1133-we must have it now , "_{[201-miss temple]} and [she]_{201-miss temple} proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand . [We]_1133-we feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia ; and not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which [[our]_1133-we hostess]_{1134-our hostess} regarded [us]_1133-we , as [we]_1133-we satisfied [our]_1133-we famished appetites on the delicate fare [she]_{201-miss temple} liberally supplied . Tea over and the tray removed , [she]_{201-miss temple} again summoned [us]_1133-we to the fire ; [we]_1133-we sat one on each side of [her]_{201-miss temple} , and now a conversation followed between [her]_{201-miss temple} and [Helen]_213-helen , which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} had always something of serenity in [her]_{201-miss temple} air , of state in [her]_{201-miss temple} mien , of refined propriety in [her]_{201-miss temple} language , which precluded deviation into the ardent , the excited , the eager : something which chastened the pleasure of [those who looked on [her]_{201-miss temple} and listened to [her]_{201-miss temple}]_{1135-those who looked on her and listened to her} , by a controlling sense of awe ; and such was [my]_0-i feeling now : but as to [Helen Burns]_213-helen , [I]_0-i was struck with wonder . The refreshing meal , the brilliant fire , the presence and kindness of [[her]_{201-miss temple} beloved instructress]_{1136-her beloved instructress} , or , perhaps , more than all these , something in [her]_{201-miss temple} own unique mind , had roused [her]_{201-miss temple} powers within [her]_{201-miss temple} . [They]_1137-they woke , [they]_1137-they kindled : first , they glowed in the bright tint of [her]_{201-miss temple} cheek , which till this hour [I]_0-i had never seen but pale and bloodless ; then they shone in the liquid lustre of [her]_{201-miss temple} eyes , which had suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than that of [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's - a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash , nor pencilled brow , but of meaning , of movement , of radiance . Then [her]_{201-miss temple} soul sat on [her]_{201-miss temple} lips , and language flowed , from what source [I]_0-i can not tell . Has [a girl of fourteen]_{1138-a girl of fourteen} a heart large enough , vigorous enough , to hold the swelling spring of pure , full , fervid eloquence ? Such was the characteristic of [Helen]_213-helen 's discourse on that , to [me]_0-i , memorable evening ; [her]_213-helen spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence . [They]_1137-they conversed of things [I]_0-i had never heard of ; of nations and times past ; of [countries far away]_{1139-countries far away} ; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at : [they]_1137-they spoke of books : how many [they]_1137-they had read ! What stores of knowledge [they]_1137-they possessed ! Then [they]_1137-they seemed so familiar with French names and [French authors]_{1140-french authors} : but [my]_0-i amazement reached its climax when [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} asked [Helen]_213-helen if [she]_213-helen sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin [[her]_213-helen father]_{1141-her father} had taught [her]_213-helen , and taking a book from a shelf , bade [her]_213-helen read and construe a page of Virgil ; and [Helen]_213-helen obeyed , [my]_0-i organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line . [She]_213-helen had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime ! no delay could be admitted ; [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} embraced [us]_1142-us both , saying , as [she]_{201-miss temple} drew [us]_1142-us to [her]_{201-miss temple} heart - " God bless [you]_1142-us , [[my]_{201-miss temple} children]_{4805-my children} ! "_{[201-miss temple]} [Helen]_213-helen [she]_{201-miss temple} held a little longer than [me]_0-i : [she]_{201-miss temple} let [her]_213-helen go more reluctantly ; it was [Helen]_213-helen [her]_{201-miss temple} eye followed to the door ; it was for [her]_213-helen [she]_213-helen a second time breathed a sad sigh ; for [her]_213-helen [she]_213-helen wiped a tear from [her]_213-helen cheek . On reaching [the bedroom]_{887-the bedroom} , [we]_1142-us heard the voice of [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} : [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} was examining drawers ; [she]_{211-miss scatcherd} had just pulled out [Helen Burns]_213-helen 's , and when [we]_1142-us entered [Helen]_213-helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand , and told that to - morrow [she]_213-helen should have half - a - dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to [her]_213-helen shoulder . " [My]_213-helen things were indeed in shameful disorder , "_[213-helen] murmured [Helen]_213-helen to [me]_0-i , in a low voice : " [I]_213-helen intended to have arranged them , but [I]_213-helen forgot . "_[213-helen] Next morning , [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece of pasteboard the word " Slattern , "_{[211-miss scatcherd]} and bound it like a phylactery round [Helen]_213-helen 's large , mild , intelligent , and benign- looking forehead . [She]_213-helen wore it till evening , patient , unresentful , regarding it as a deserved punishment . The moment [Miss Scatcherd]_{211-miss scatcherd} withdrew after [afternoon school]_{1144-afternoon school} , [I]_0-i ran to [Helen]_213-helen , tore it off , and thrust it into the fire : the fury of which [she]_213-helen was incapable had been burning in [my]_0-i soul all day , and tears , hot and large , had continually been scalding [my]_0-i cheek ; for the spectacle of [her]_213-helen sad resignation gave [me]_0-i an intolerable pain at the heart . About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated , [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , who had written to [Mr. Lloyd]_{182-mr. lloyd} , received [his]_{182-mr. lloyd} answer : it appeared that what [he]_{182-mr. lloyd} said went to corroborate [my]_0-i account . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , having assembled [the whole school]_{940-the whole school} , announced that inquiry had been made into the charges alleged against [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , and that [she]_213-helen was most happy to be able to pronounce [her]_146-jane completely cleared from every imputation . [The teachers]_{4456-the teachers} then shook hands with [me]_0-i and kissed [me]_0-i , and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of [[my]_0-i companions]_{1147-my companions} . Thus relieved of a grievous load , [I]_0-i from that hour set to work afresh , resolved to pioneer [my]_0-i way through every difficulty : [I]_0-i toiled hard , and [my]_0-i success was proportionate to [my]_0-i efforts ; [my]_0-i memory , not naturally tenacious , improved with practice ; exercise sharpened [my]_0-i wits ; in a few weeks [I]_0-i was promoted to a higher class ; in less than two months [I]_0-i was allowed to commence French and drawing . [I]_0-i learned the first two tenses of the verb ETRE , and sketched [[my]_0-i first cottage]_{1148-my first cottage} whose walls , by - the - bye , outrivalled in slope those of [the leaning tower of [Pisa]_41-pisa]_{1149-the leaning tower of pisa} , on the same day . That night , on going to bed , [I]_0-i forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes , or white bread and new milk , with which [I]_0-i was wo nt to amuse [my]_0-i inward cravings : [I]_0-i feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings , which [I]_0-i saw in the dark ; all the work of [my]_0-i own hands : freely pencilled [houses]_665-houses and trees , picturesque rocks and ruins , Cuyp - like groups of cattle , sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses , of birds picking at ripe cherries , of wren 's nests enclosing pearl - like eggs , wreathed about with young ivy sprays . [I]_0-i examined , too , in thought , the possibility of [my]_0-i ever being able to translate currently a certain little French story which [Madame Pierrot]_{212-madame pierrot} had that day shown [me]_0-i ; nor was that problem solved to [my]_0-i satisfaction ere [I]_0-i fell sweetly asleep . Well has [Solomon]_231-solomon said - " Better is a dinner of herbs where love is , than a stalled ox and hatred therewith . "_{[231-solomon]} [I]_0-i would not now have exchanged [Lowood]_25-lowood with all its privations for [Gateshead]_20-gateshead and its daily luxuries . CHAPTER IX But the privations , or rather the hardships , of [Lowood]_25-lowood lessened . Spring drew on : [she]_1151-she was indeed already come ; the frosts of winter had ceased ; its snows were melted , its cutting winds ameliorated . [My]_0-i wretched feet , flayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January , began to heal and subside under the gentler breathings of April ; the nights and mornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in [our]_1152-our veins ; [we]_1152-our could now endure the play - hour passed in [the garden]_{4568-the garden} : sometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial , and a greenness grew over those brown beds , which , freshening daily , suggested the thought that [Hope]_232-hope traversed them at night , and left each morning brighter traces of [her]_232-hope steps . Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves ; snow- drops , crocuses , purple auriculas , and golden - eyed pansies . On Thursday afternoons half - holidays [we]_1152-our now took walks , and found still sweeter flowers opening by the wayside , under the hedges . [I]_0-i discovered , too , that a great pleasure , an enjoyment which the horizon only bounded , lay all outside the high and spike - guarded walls of [[our]_1152-our garden]_{1154-our garden} : this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling [a great hill - hollow , rich in verdure and shadow]_{1155-a great hill - hollow , rich in verdure and shadow} ; in a bright beck , full of dark stones and sparkling eddies . How different had this scene looked when [I]_0-i viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter , stiffened in frost , shrouded with snow ! - when mists as chill as death wandered to the impulse of east winds along [those purple peaks]_{1156-those purple peaks} , and rolled down " ing "_[0-i] and holm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck ! That beck itself was then a torrent , turbid and curbless : it tore asunder the wood , and sent a raving sound through the air , often thickened with wild rain or whirling sleet ; and for [the forest on [its]_25-lowood banks]_{1157-the forest on its banks} , THAT showed only ranks of skeletons . April advanced to May : a bright serene May it was ; days of blue sky , placid sunshine , and soft western or southern gales filled up its duration . And now vegetation matured with vigour ; [Lowood]_25-lowood shook loose [its]_25-lowood tresses ; it became all green , all flowery ; its great elm , ash , and oak skeletons were restored to majestic life ; woodland plants sprang up profusely in [its]_25-lowood recesses ; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its hollows , and it made a strange ground - sunshine out of the wealth of [its]_25-lowood wild primrose plants : [I]_0-i have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed spots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre . All this [I]_0-i enjoyed often and fully , free , unwatched , and almost alone : for this unwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause , to which it now becomes [my]_0-i task to advert . Have [I]_0-i not described a pleasant site for a dwelling , when [I]_0-i speak of [it]_1158-it as bosomed in [hill and wood]_{1159-hill and wood} , and rising from [the verge of [a stream]_{1161-a stream}]_{1160-the verge of a stream} ? Assuredly , pleasant enough : but whether healthy or not is another question . [That forest - dell]_{1162-that forest - dell} , where [Lowood]_25-lowood lay , was the cradle of fog and fog - bred pestilence ; which , quickening with the quickening spring , crept into [the Orphan Asylum]_{1163-the orphan asylum} , breathed typhus through [[its]_{1163-the orphan asylum} crowded schoolroom and [dormitory]_{978-dormitory}]_{1164-its crowded schoolroom and dormitory} , and , ere May arrived , transformed [the seminary]_{1166-the seminary} into [an hospital]_{1167-an hospital} . Semi - starvation and neglected colds had predisposed [most of [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils}]_{1168-most of the pupils} to receive infection : [forty - five out of [the eighty girls]_{931-the eighty girls}]_{1170-forty - five out of the eighty girls} lay ill at one time . Classes were broken up , rules relaxed . [The few who continued well]_{1172-the few who continued well} were allowed almost unlimited license ; because [the medical attendant]_{1173-the medical attendant} insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep [them]_{1172-the few who continued well} in health : and had it been otherwise , [no one]_{593-no one} had leisure to watch or restrain [them]_{1172-the few who continued well} . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's whole attention was absorbed by [the patients]_{1175-the patients} : [she]_{201-miss temple} lived in [the sick - room]_{1176-the sick - room} , never quitting [it]_{1176-the sick - room} except to snatch a few hours ' rest at night . [The teachers]_{4456-the teachers} were fully occupied with packing up and making other necessary preparations for the departure of [those girls who were fortunate enough to have [friends]_1114-friends and relations able and willing to remove [them]_{1178-those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of contagion} from the seat of contagion]_{1178-those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of contagion} . [Many , already smitten]_{1180-many , already smitten} , went [home]_509-home only to die : [some]_1182-some died at [the school]_{4461-the school} , and were buried quietly and quickly , the nature of the malady forbidding delay . While disease had thus become [an inhabitant of [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{1184-an inhabitant of lowood} , and death [its frequent visitor]_{1185-its frequent visitor} ; while there was gloom and fear within [its]_25-lowood walls ; while [[its]_25-lowood rooms and [passages]_{1187-passages}]_{1186-its rooms and passages} steamed with hospital smells , the drug and the pastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality , that bright May shone unclouded over [the bold hills]_{1188-the bold hills} and [beautiful woodland]_{1189-beautiful woodland} out of doors . [Its garden]_{1190-its garden} , too , glowed with flowers : hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees , lilies had opened , tulips and roses were in bloom ; the borders of [the little beds]_{1191-the little beds} were gay with pink thrift and crimson double daisies ; [the sweetbriars]_{1192-the sweetbriars} gave out , morning and evening , [their]_{1192-the sweetbriars} scent of spice and apples ; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for [most of [the inmates of [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{1194-the inmates of lowood}]_{1193-most of the inmates of lowood} , except to furnish now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms to put in a coffin . But [I]_0-i , and the rest who continued well , enjoyed fully the beauties of the scene and season ; [they]_1195-they let [us]_1196-we ramble in the wood , like gipsies , from morning till night ; [we]_1196-we did what [we]_1196-we liked , went where [we]_1196-we liked : [we]_1196-we lived better too . [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} and [[his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} family]_{1092-his family} never came near [Lowood]_25-lowood now : household matters were not scrutinised into ; [the cross housekeeper]_{1198-the cross housekeeper} was gone , driven away by the fear of infection ; [[her]_{1198-the cross housekeeper} successor]_{1199-her successor} , who had been [matron at [the Lowton Dispensary]_{1201-the lowton dispensary} , unused to the ways of [[her]_{1198-the cross housekeeper} new abode]_{1202-her new abode}]_{1200-matron at the lowton dispensary , unused to the ways of her new abode} , provided with comparative liberality . Besides , there were fewer to feed ; [the sick]_{1203-the sick} could eat little ; [our]_1196-we breakfast - basins were better filled ; when there was no time to prepare a regular dinner , which often happened , [she]_{1198-the cross housekeeper} would give [us]_1196-we a large piece of cold pie , or a thick slice of bread and cheese , and this [we]_1196-we carried away with [us]_1196-we to [the wood]_{1204-the wood} , where [we]_1196-we each chose the spot [we]_1196-we liked best , and dined sumptuously . [My]_0-i favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone , rising white and dry from the very middle of the beck , and only to be got at by wading through the water ; a feat [I]_0-i accomplished barefoot . The stone was just broad enough to accommodate , comfortably , [another girl]_{1205-another girl} and [me]_0-i , at that time [[my]_0-i chosen comrade]_{1206-my chosen comrade} - one [Mary Ann Wilson]_233-mary ; [a shrewd , observant personage , whose society [I]_0-i took pleasure in , partly because [she]_233-mary was witty and original , and partly because [she]_233-mary had a manner which set [me]_0-i at [my]_0-i ease]_{1207-a shrewd , observant personage , whose society i took pleasure in , partly because she was witty and original , and partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease} . Some years older than [I]_0-i , [she]_233-mary knew more of [the world]_{484-the world} , and could tell [me]_0-i many things [I]_0-i liked to hear : with [her]_233-mary [my]_0-i curiosity found gratification : to [my]_0-i faults also [she]_233-mary gave ample indulgence , never imposing curb or rein on anything [I]_0-i said . [She]_233-mary had a turn for narrative , [I]_0-i for analysis ; [she]_233-mary liked to inform , [I]_0-i to question ; so [we]_1209-we got on swimmingly together , deriving much entertainment , if not much improvement , from [our]_1209-we mutual intercourse . And where , meantime , was [Helen Burns]_213-helen ? Why did [I]_0-i not spend these sweet days of liberty with [her]_213-helen ? Had [I]_0-i forgotten [her]_213-helen ? or was [I]_0-i so worthless as to have grown tired of [her]_213-helen pure society ? Surely the [Mary Ann Wilson]_233-mary [I]_0-i have mentioned was inferior to [my]_0-i first acquaintance : [she]_233-mary could only tell [me]_0-i amusing stories , and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip [I]_0-i chose to indulge in ; while , if [I]_0-i have spoken truth of [Helen]_213-helen , [she]_233-mary was qualified to give [those who enjoyed the privilege of [her]_233-mary converse]_{1210-those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse} a taste of far higher things . True , [reader]_496-reader ; and [I]_0-i knew and felt this : and though [I]_0-i am [a defective being , with many faults and few redeeming points]_{1212-a defective being , with many faults and few redeeming points} , yet [I]_0-i never tired of [Helen Burns]_213-helen ; nor ever ceased to cherish for [her]_213-helen a sentiment of attachment , as strong , tender , and respectful as any that ever animated [my]_0-i heart . How could it be otherwise , when [Helen]_213-helen , at all times and under all circumstances , evinced for [me]_0-i a quiet and faithful friendship , which ill - humour never soured , nor irritation never troubled ? But [Helen]_213-helen was ill at present : for some weeks [she]_213-helen had been removed from [my]_0-i sight to [I]_0-i knew not [what room]_{1213-what room} [upstairs]_552-upstairs . [She]_213-helen was not , [I]_0-i was told , in [the hospital portion of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{1215-the hospital portion of the house} with [the fever patients]_{1217-the fever patients} ; for [her]_213-helen complaint was consumption , not typhus : and by consumption [I]_0-i , in [my]_0-i ignorance , understood something mild , which time and care would be sure to alleviate . [I]_0-i was confirmed in this idea by the fact of [her]_213-helen once or twice coming [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} on very warm sunny afternoons , and being taken by [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} into [the garden]_{4568-the garden} ; but , on these occasions , [I]_0-i was not allowed to go and speak to [her]_213-helen ; [I]_0-i only saw [her]_213-helen from the schoolroom window , and then not distinctly ; for [she]_213-helen was much wrapped up , and sat at a distance under [the verandah]_{969-the verandah} . One evening , in the beginning of June , [I]_0-i had stayed out very late with [Mary Ann]_233-mary in [the wood]_{1204-the wood} ; [we]_1222-we had , as usual , separated [ourselves]_1222-we from the others , and had wandered far ; so far that [we]_1222-we lost [our]_1222-we way , and had to ask it at [a lonely cottage]_{1223-a lonely cottage} , where [a man]_{4429-a man} and [woman]_1225-woman lived , who looked after a herd of half - wild swine that fed on the mast in [the wood]_{1204-the wood} . When [we]_1222-we got back , it was after moonrise : a pony , which [we]_1222-we knew to be [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} 's , was standing at [the garden]_{4568-the garden} door . [Mary Ann]_233-mary remarked that [she]_233-mary supposed [some one]_{637-some one} must be very ill , as [Mr. Bates]_{234-mr. bates} had been sent for at that time of the evening . [She]_233-mary went into [the house]_{4322-the house} ; [I]_0-i stayed behind a few minutes to plant in [[my]_0-i garden]_{1231-my garden} a handful of roots [I]_0-i had dug up in [the forest]_{1232-the forest} , and which [I]_0-i feared would wither if [I]_0-i left them till the morning . This done , [I]_0-i lingered yet a little longer : the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell ; it was such a pleasant evening , so serene , so warm ; [the still glowing west]_{1233-the still glowing west} promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow ; the moon rose with such majesty in [the grave east]_{1234-the grave east} . [I]_0-i was noting these things and enjoying them as [a child]_{4305-a child} might , when it entered [my]_0-i mind as it had never done before:- " How sad to be lying now on a sick bed , and to be in danger of dying ! [This world]_{4664-this world} is pleasant - it would be dreary to be called from [it]_{4664-this world} , and to have to go who knows where ? "_[1236-it] And then [my]_0-i mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell ; and for the first time it recoiled , baffled ; and for the first time glancing behind , on each side , and before it , [it]_1236-it saw all round an unfathomed gulf : it felt the one point where it stood - the present ; all the rest was formless cloud and vacant depth ; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering , and plunging amid that chaos . While pondering this new idea , [I]_0-i heard the front door open ; [Mr. Bates]_{234-mr. bates} came out , and with [him]_{234-mr. bates} was [a nurse]_{1237-a nurse} . After [she]_{1237-a nurse} had seen [him]_{234-mr. bates} mount [his]_{234-mr. bates} horse and depart , [she]_{1237-a nurse} was about to close the door , but [I]_0-i ran up to [her]_{1237-a nurse} . " How is [Helen Burns]_213-helen ? "_[0-i] " Very poorly , "_{[1237-a nurse]} was the answer . " Is it [her]_213-helen [Mr. Bates]_{234-mr. bates} has been to see ? "_[0-i] " Yes . "_[0-i] " And what does [he]_{234-mr. bates} say about [her]_213-helen ? "_[0-i] " [He]_{234-mr. bates} says [she]_213-helen 'll not be [here]_4312-here long . "_[0-i] This phrase , uttered in [my]_0-i hearing yesterday , would have only conveyed the notion that [she]_{1237-a nurse} was about to be removed to [Northumberland]_{36-northumberland} , to [[her]_{1237-a nurse} own home]_{1238-her own home} . [I]_0-i should not have suspected that it meant [she]_{1237-a nurse} was dying ; but [I]_0-i knew instantly now ! It opened clear on [my]_0-i comprehension that [Helen Burns]_213-helen was numbering [her]_213-helen last days in [this world]_{4664-this world} , and that [she]_{1237-a nurse} was going to be taken to [the region of spirits]_{1240-the region of spirits} , if such region there were . [I]_0-i experienced a shock of horror , then a strong thrill of grief , then a desire - a necessity to see [her]_213-helen ; and [I]_0-i asked in what [room]_581-room [she]_{1237-a nurse} lay . " [She]_213-helen is in [[Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's room]_{4808-miss temple 's room} , "_{[510-the nurse]} said [the nurse]_{510-the nurse} . " May [I]_{510-the nurse} go up and speak to [her]_213-helen ? "_{[510-the nurse]} " Oh no , [child]_4354-child ! It is not likely ; and now it is time for [you]_4354-child to come in ; [you]_4354-child 'll catch the fever if [you]_4354-child stop out when the dew is falling . "_{[510-the nurse]} [The nurse]_{510-the nurse} closed the front door ; [I]_0-i went in by the side entrance which led to [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} : [I]_0-i was just in time ; it was nine o'clock , and [Miss Miller]_{207-miss miller} was calling [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} to go to bed . It might be two hours later , probably near eleven , when [I]_0-i - not having been able to fall asleep , and deeming , from the perfect silence of [the dormitory]_{1246-the dormitory} , that [[my]_0-i companions]_{1147-my companions} were all wrapt in profound repose - rose softly , put on [my]_0-i frock over [my]_0-i night - dress , and , without shoes , crept from [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} , and set off in quest of [[Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's room]_{4808-miss temple 's room} . [It]_1250-it was quite at the other end of [the house]_{4322-the house} ; but [I]_0-i knew [my]_0-i way ; and the light of the unclouded summer moon , entering here and there at passage windows , enabled [me]_0-i to find it without difficulty . An odour of camphor and burnt vinegar warned [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i came near [the fever room]_{1252-the fever room} : and [I]_0-i passed [its]_{1252-the fever room} door quickly , fearful lest [the nurse who sat up all night]_{1253-the nurse who sat up all night} should hear [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i dreaded being discovered and sent back ; for [I]_0-i MUST see [Helen]_213-helen , - [I]_0-i must embrace [her]_213-helen before [she]_213-helen died , - [I]_0-i must give [her]_213-helen one last kiss , exchange with [her]_213-helen one last word . Having descended a staircase , traversed [a portion of [the house]_{4322-the house} below]_{1254-a portion of the house below} , and succeeded in opening and shutting , without noise , two doors , [I]_0-i reached another flight of steps ; these [I]_0-i mounted , and then just opposite to [me]_0-i was [[Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's room]_{4808-miss temple 's room} . A light shone through the keyhole and from under the door ; a profound stillness pervaded [the vicinity]_{1257-the vicinity} . Coming near , [I]_0-i found the door slightly ajar ; probably to admit some fresh air into the close abode of sickness . Indisposed to hesitate , and full of impatient impulses - soul and senses quivering with keen throes - [I]_0-i put it back and looked in . [My]_0-i eye sought [Helen]_213-helen , and feared to find death . Close by [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's bed , and half covered with [its]_1258-its white curtains , there stood a little crib . [I]_0-i saw the outline of a form under the clothes , but the face was hid by the hangings : [the nurse [I]_0-i had spoken to in [the garden]_{4568-the garden}]_{1259-the nurse i had spoken to in the garden} sat in an easy - chair asleep ; an unsnuffed candle burnt dimly on the table . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} was not to be seen : [I]_0-i knew afterwards that [she]_{201-miss temple} had been called to [a delirious patient]_{1261-a delirious patient} in [the fever - room]_{1262-the fever - room} . [I]_0-i advanced ; then paused by the crib side : [my]_0-i hand was on the curtain , but [I]_0-i preferred speaking before [I]_0-i withdrew it . [I]_0-i still recoiled at the dread of seeing a corpse . " [Helen]_213-helen ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i whispered softly , " are [you]_213-helen awake ? "_[0-i] [She]_213-helen stirred [herself]_213-helen , put back the curtain , and [I]_0-i saw [her]_213-helen face , pale , wasted , but quite composed : [she]_213-helen looked so little changed that [my]_0-i fear was instantly dissipated . " Can it be [you]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[213-helen] [she]_213-helen asked , in [her]_213-helen own gentle voice . " Oh ! "_[213-helen] [I]_0-i thought , ' [she]_213-helen is not going to die ; [they]_1263-they are mistaken : [she]_213-helen could not speak and look so calmly if [she]_213-helen were . " [I]_213-helen got on to [[her]_213-helen crib]_{4810-her crib} and kissed [her]_213-helen : [her]_213-helen forehead was cold , and [her]_213-helen cheek both cold and thin , and so were [her]_213-helen hand and wrist ; but [she]_213-helen smiled as of old . "_[213-helen] Why are [you]_0-i come here , [Jane]_146-jane ? It is past eleven o'clock : [I]_0-i heard it strike some minutes since . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i came to see [you]_0-i , [Helen]_213-helen : [I]_0-i heard [you]_0-i were very ill , and [I]_0-i could not sleep till [I]_0-i had spoken to [you]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i came to bid [me]_0-i good - bye , then : [you]_0-i are just in time probably . " "_[0-i] Are [you]_0-i going somewhere , [Helen]_213-helen ? Are [you]_0-i going [home]_509-home ? " "_[0-i] Yes ; to [[my]_0-i long home]_{1265-my long home} - [[my]_0-i last home]_{1266-my last home} . " "_[213-helen] No , no , [Helen]_213-helen ! " [I]_213-helen stopped , distressed . While [I]_213-helen tried to devour [my]_213-helen tears , a fit of coughing seized [Helen]_213-helen ; it did not , however , wake [the nurse]_{510-the nurse} ; when it was over , [she]_{510-the nurse} lay some minutes exhausted ; then [she]_{510-the nurse} whispered - "_[213-helen] [Jane]_146-jane , [your]_146-jane little feet are bare ; lie down and cover [yourself]_146-jane with [my]_0-i quilt . " [I]_213-helen did so : [she]_{510-the nurse} put [her]_{510-the nurse} arm over [me]_213-helen , and [I]_213-helen nestled close to [her]_{510-the nurse} . After a long silence , [she]_{510-the nurse} resumed , still whispering - "_[213-helen] [I]_0-i am very happy , [Jane]_146-jane ; and when [you]_146-jane hear that [I]_0-i am dead , [you]_146-jane must be sure and not grieve : there is nothing to grieve about . [We]_1267-we all must die one day , and the illness which is removing [me]_0-i is not painful ; it is gentle and gradual : [my]_0-i mind is at rest . [I]_0-i leave [no one]_{593-no one} to regret [me]_0-i much : [I]_0-i have only [a father]_{1269-a father} ; and [he]_{1269-a father} is lately married , and will not miss [me]_0-i . By dying young , [I]_0-i shall escape great sufferings . [I]_0-i had not qualities or talents to make [my]_0-i way very well in [the world]_{484-the world} : [I]_0-i should have been continually at fault . " "_[0-i] But where are [you]_146-jane going to , [Helen]_213-helen ? Can [you]_146-jane see ? Do [you]_146-jane know ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe ; [I]_0-i have faith : [I]_0-i am going to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . " "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} Where is [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? What is [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? " "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [[My]_0-i Maker and [yours]_1272-yours , who will never destroy what [He]_{1269-a father} created]_{1271-my maker and yours , who will never destroy what he created} . [I]_0-i rely implicitly on [His]_{1269-a father} power , and confide wholly in [His]_{1269-a father} goodness : [I]_0-i count the hours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore [me]_0-i to [Him]_{1269-a father} , reveal [Him]_{1269-a father} to [me]_0-i . " "_[146-jane] [You]_146-jane are sure , then , [Helen]_213-helen , that there is such [a place as heaven]_{1273-a place as heaven} , and that [our]_1274-our souls can get to it when [we]_1274-our die ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure there is a future state ; [I]_0-i believe [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is good ; [I]_0-i can resign [my]_0-i immortal part to [Him]_{1269-a father} without any misgiving . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} ; [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is [[my]_0-i friend]_{4521-my friend} : [I]_0-i love [Him]_{1269-a father} ; [I]_0-i believe [He]_{1269-a father} loves [me]_0-i . " "_{[1269-a father]} And shall [I]_0-i see [you]_0-i again , [Helen]_213-helen , when [I]_0-i die ? " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i will come to [the same region of happiness]_{1277-the same region of happiness} : be received by [the same mighty , universal Parent]_{1278-the same mighty , universal parent} , no doubt , [dear Jane]_146-jane . " Again [I]_146-jane questioned , but this time only in thought . "_[146-jane] Where is [that region]_{1279-that region} ? Does it exist ? " And [I]_146-jane clasped [my]_146-jane arms closer round [Helen]_213-helen ; [she]_213-helen seemed dearer to [me]_146-jane than ever ; [I]_146-jane felt as if [I]_146-jane could not let [her]_213-helen go ; [I]_146-jane lay with [my]_146-jane face hidden on [her]_213-helen neck . Presently [she]_213-helen said , in the sweetest tone - "_[146-jane] How comfortable [I]_0-i am ! That last fit of coughing has tired [me]_0-i a little ; [I]_0-i feel as if [I]_0-i could sleep : but do n't leave [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ; [I]_0-i like to have [you]_146-jane near [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'll stay with [you]_146-jane , [DEAR Helen]_{235-dear helen} : [no one]_{593-no one} shall take [me]_0-i away . " "_{[235-dear helen]} Are [you]_146-jane warm , [darling]_1281-darling ? " "_{[235-dear helen]} Yes . " "_{[235-dear helen]} Good - night , [Jane]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] Good - night , [Helen]_{235-dear helen} . " [She]_213-helen kissed [me]_{235-dear helen} , and [I]_{235-dear helen} [her]_213-helen , and [we]_4812-we both soon slumbered . When [I]_{235-dear helen} awoke it was day : an unusual movement roused [me]_{235-dear helen} ; [I]_{235-dear helen} looked up ; [I]_{235-dear helen} was in [somebody]_{4813-somebody} 's arms ; [the nurse]_{510-the nurse} held [me]_{235-dear helen} ; [she]_213-helen was carrying [me]_{235-dear helen} through [the passage]_{4815-the passage} back to [the dormitory]_{1246-the dormitory} . [I]_{235-dear helen} was not reprimanded for leaving [my]_{235-dear helen} bed ; [people]_4493-people had something else to think about ; no explanation was afforded then to [my]_{235-dear helen} many questions ; but a day or two afterwards [I]_{235-dear helen} learned that [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , on returning to [[her]_{201-miss temple} own room]_{4818-her own room} at dawn , had found [me]_{235-dear helen} laid in [the little crib]_{4819-the little crib} ; [my]_{235-dear helen} face against [Helen Burns]_213-helen 's shoulder , [my]_{235-dear helen} arms round [her]_213-helen neck . [I]_{235-dear helen} was asleep , and [Helen]_213-helen was - dead . [[Her]_213-helen grave]_{4820-her grave} is in [[Brocklebridge]_{42-brocklebridge} churchyard]_{4821-brocklebridge churchyard} : for fifteen years after [her]_213-helen death it was only covered by a grassy mound ; but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot , inscribed with [her]_213-helen name , and the word "_{[235-dear helen]} Resurgam . " CHAPTER X Hitherto [I]_{235-dear helen} have recorded in detail the events of [my]_{235-dear helen} insignificant existence : to the first ten years of [my]_{235-dear helen} life [I]_{235-dear helen} have given almost as many chapters . But this is not to be a regular autobiography . [I]_{235-dear helen} am only bound to invoke Memory where [I]_{235-dear helen} know [her]_213-helen responses will possess some degree of interest ; therefore [I]_{235-dear helen} now pass a space of eight years almost in silence : a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of connection . When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at [Lowood]_25-lowood , it gradually disappeared from thence ; but not till [its]_25-lowood virulence and the number of [its]_25-lowood victims had drawn public attention on [the school]_{4461-the school} . Inquiry was made into the origin of the scourge , and by degrees various facts came out which excited public indignation in a high degree . The unhealthy nature of [the site]_{4823-the site} ; the quantity and quality of [the children]_{645-the children} 's food ; the brackish , fetid water used in its preparation ; [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils} ' wretched clothing and accommodations - all these things were discovered , and the discovery produced a result mortifying to [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , but beneficial to [the institution]_{4826-the institution} . [Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in [the county]_{4828-the county}]_{4827-several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county} subscribed largely for the erection of [a more convenient building]_{4829-a more convenient building} in a better situation ; new regulations were made ; improvements in diet and clothing introduced ; the funds of [the school]_{4461-the school} were intrusted to the management of a committee . [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , who , from [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} wealth and family connections , could not be overlooked , still retained the post of [treasurer]_{4831-treasurer} ; but [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} was aided in the discharge of [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} duties by [gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds]_{4832-gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds} : [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} office of [inspector]_{4833-inspector} , too , was shared by [those who knew how to combine reason with strictness , comfort with economy , compassion with uprightness]_{4834-those who knew how to combine reason with strictness , comfort with economy , compassion with uprightness} . [The school]_{4461-the school} , thus improved , became in time [a truly useful and noble institution]_{4836-a truly useful and noble institution} . [I]_{235-dear helen} remained [an inmate of [its]_{4461-the school} walls]_{4837-an inmate of its walls} , after [its]_{4461-the school} regeneration , for eight years : six as [pupil]_4838-pupil , and two as [teacher]_4839-teacher ; and in both capacities [I]_{235-dear helen} bear [my]_{235-dear helen} testimony to its value and importance . During these eight years [my]_{235-dear helen} life was uniform : but not unhappy , because it was not inactive . [I]_{235-dear helen} had the means of an excellent education placed within [my]_{235-dear helen} reach ; a fondness for some of [my]_{235-dear helen} studies , and a desire to excel in all , together with a great delight in pleasing [[my]_{235-dear helen} teachers]_{4840-my teachers} , especially such as [I]_{235-dear helen} loved , urged [me]_{235-dear helen} on : [I]_{235-dear helen} availed [myself]_{235-dear helen} fully of the advantages offered [me]_{235-dear helen} . In time [I]_{235-dear helen} rose to be [the first girl of the first class]_{4841-the first girl of the first class} ; then [I]_{235-dear helen} was invested with the office of [teacher]_4839-teacher ; which [I]_{235-dear helen} discharged with zeal for two years : but at the end of that time [I]_{235-dear helen} altered . [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} , through all changes , had thus far continued [superintendent of [the seminary]_{1166-the seminary}]_{4843-superintendent of the seminary} : to [her]_{201-miss temple} instruction [I]_{235-dear helen} owed the best part of [my]_{235-dear helen} acquirements ; [her]_{201-miss temple} friendship and society had been [my]_{235-dear helen} continual solace ; [she]_{201-miss temple} had stood [me]_{235-dear helen} in the stead of [mother]_4387-mother , [governess]_{4846-governess} , and , latterly , [companion]_{4847-companion} . At this period [she]_{201-miss temple} married , removed with [[her]_{201-miss temple} husband]_{620-her husband} [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , [an excellent man]_{4850-an excellent man} , almost worthy of [such a wife to [a distant county]_{4852-a distant county}]_{4851-such a wife to a distant county} , and consequently was lost to [me]_{235-dear helen} . From the day [she]_{201-miss temple} left [I]_{235-dear helen} was no longer the same : with [her]_{201-miss temple} was gone every settled feeling , every association that had made Lowood in some degree a home to [me]_{235-dear helen} . [I]_{235-dear helen} had imbibed from [her]_{201-miss temple} something of [her]_{201-miss temple} nature and much of [her]_{201-miss temple} habits : more harmonious thoughts : what seemed better regulated feelings had become the inmates of [my]_{235-dear helen} mind . [I]_{235-dear helen} had given in allegiance to duty and order ; [I]_{235-dear helen} was quiet ; [I]_{235-dear helen} believed [I]_{235-dear helen} was content : to the eyes of [others]_1041-others , usually even to [my]_{235-dear helen} own , [I]_{235-dear helen} appeared a disciplined and subdued character . But destiny , in the shape of [the Rev. Mr. Nasmyth]_{236-the rev. mr. nasmyth} , came between [me]_{235-dear helen} and [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} : [I]_{235-dear helen} saw [her]_{201-miss temple} in [her]_{201-miss temple} travelling dress step into a post - chaise , shortly after the marriage ceremony ; [I]_{235-dear helen} watched the chaise mount [the hill]_{4854-the hill} and disappear beyond [its]_{4854-the hill} brow ; and then retired to [[my]_{235-dear helen} own room]_{4855-my own room} , and there spent in solitude the greatest part of the half - holiday granted in honour of the occasion . [I]_{235-dear helen} walked about [the chamber]_{4856-the chamber} most of the time . [I]_{235-dear helen} imagined [myself]_{235-dear helen} only to be regretting [my]_{235-dear helen} loss , and thinking how to repair it ; but when [my]_{235-dear helen} reflections were concluded , and [I]_{235-dear helen} looked up and found that the afternoon was gone , and evening far advanced , another discovery dawned on [me]_{235-dear helen} , namely , that in the interval [I]_{235-dear helen} had undergone a transforming process ; that [my]_{235-dear helen} mind had put off all it had borrowed of [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} - or rather that [she]_{201-miss temple} had taken with [her]_{201-miss temple} the serene atmosphere [I]_{235-dear helen} had been breathing in [[her]_{201-miss temple} vicinity]_{4857-her vicinity} - and that now [I]_{235-dear helen} was left in [my]_{235-dear helen} natural element , and beginning to feel the stirring of old emotions . It did not seem as if a prop were withdrawn , but rather as if a motive were gone : it was not the power to be tranquil which had failed [me]_{235-dear helen} , but the reason for tranquillity was no more . [[My]_{235-dear helen} world]_{4858-my world} had for some years been in [Lowood]_25-lowood : [my]_{235-dear helen} experience had been of its rules and systems ; now [I]_{235-dear helen} remembered that [the real world]_{4859-the real world} was wide , and that a varied field of hopes and fears , of sensations and excitements , awaited [those who had courage to go forth into [its]_25-lowood expanse]_{4860-those who had courage to go forth into its expanse} , to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils . [I]_{235-dear helen} went to [my]_{235-dear helen} window , opened it , and looked out . There were [the two wings of [the building]_{4536-the building}]_{4861-the two wings of the building} ; there was [the garden]_{4568-the garden} ; there were [the skirts of [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{4864-the skirts of lowood} ; there was [the hilly horizon]_{4865-the hilly horizon} . [My]_{235-dear helen} eye passed all other objects to rest on those most remote , [the blue peaks]_{4866-the blue peaks} ; it was those [I]_{235-dear helen} longed to surmount ; all within [their]_{4866-the blue peaks} boundary of [rock and heath]_{4867-rock and heath} seemed prison - ground , exile limits . [I]_{235-dear helen} traced [the white road]_{4868-the white road} winding round the base of [one mountain]_{4869-one mountain} , and vanishing in [a gorge between two]_{4870-a gorge between two} ; how [I]_{235-dear helen} longed to follow it farther ! [I]_{235-dear helen} recalled the time when [I]_{235-dear helen} had travelled [that very road]_{4871-that very road} in [a coach]_{835-a coach} ; [I]_{235-dear helen} remembered descending [that hill]_{4873-that hill} at twilight ; an age seemed to have elapsed since the day which brought [me]_{235-dear helen} first to [Lowood]_25-lowood , and [I]_{235-dear helen} had never quitted it since . [My]_{235-dear helen} vacations had all been spent at [school]_537-school : [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} had never sent for [me]_{235-dear helen} to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead ; neither [she]_{156-mrs. reed} nor [any of [[her]_{156-mrs. reed} family]_{4876-her family}]_{4875-any of her family} had ever been to visit [me]_{235-dear helen} . [I]_{235-dear helen} had had no communication by letter or message with [the outer world]_{4877-the outer world} : school - rules , school - duties , school - habits and notions , and voices , and faces , and phrases , and costumes , and preferences , and antipathies - such was what [I]_{235-dear helen} knew of existence . And now [I]_{235-dear helen} felt that it was not enough ; [I]_{235-dear helen} tired of the routine of eight years in one afternoon . [I]_{235-dear helen} desired liberty ; for liberty [I]_{235-dear helen} gasped ; for liberty [I]_{235-dear helen} uttered a prayer ; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing . [I]_{235-dear helen} abandoned it and framed a humbler supplication ; for change , stimulus : that petition , too , seemed swept off into vague space : "_{[235-dear helen]} Then , " [I]_{235-dear helen} cried , half desperate , "_{[235-dear helen]} grant [me]_0-i at least a new servitude ! " Here a bell , ringing the hour of supper , called [me]_{235-dear helen} [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} . [I]_{235-dear helen} was not free to resume the interrupted chain of [my]_{235-dear helen} reflections till bedtime : even then [a teacher who occupied [the same room]_{4880-the same room} with [me]_{235-dear helen}]_{4879-a teacher who occupied the same room with me} kept [me]_{235-dear helen} from the subject to which [I]_{235-dear helen} longed to recur , by a prolonged effusion of small talk . How [I]_{235-dear helen} wished sleep would silence [her]_{4879-a teacher who occupied the same room with me} . It seemed as if , could [I]_{235-dear helen} but go back to the idea which had last entered [my]_{235-dear helen} mind as [I]_{235-dear helen} stood at the window , some inventive suggestion would rise for [my]_{235-dear helen} relief . [Miss Gryce]_{237-miss gryce} snored at last ; [she]_{237-miss gryce} was [a heavy Welshwoman]_{4881-a heavy welshwoman} , and till now [her]_{237-miss gryce} habitual nasal strains had never been regarded by [me]_{235-dear helen} in any other light than as a nuisance ; to - night [I]_{235-dear helen} hailed the first deep notes with satisfaction ; [I]_{235-dear helen} was debarrassed of interruption ; [my]_{235-dear helen} half - effaced thought instantly revived . "_{[235-dear helen]} A new servitude ! There is something in that , " [I]_0-i soliloquised mentally , be it understood ; [I]_0-i did not talk aloud , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know there is , because it does not sound too sweet ; it is not like such words as Liberty , Excitement , Enjoyment : delightful sounds truly ; but no more than sounds for [me]_0-i ; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to listen to them . But Servitude ! That must be matter of fact . [Any one]_{591-any one} may serve : [I]_0-i have served [here]_4312-here eight years ; now all [I]_0-i want is to serve elsewhere . Can [I]_0-i not get so much of [my]_0-i own will ? Is not the thing feasible ? Yes - yes - the end is not so difficult ; if [I]_0-i had only a brain active enough to ferret out the means of attaining it . " [I]_0-i sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain : it was a chilly night ; [I]_0-i covered [my]_0-i shoulders with a shawl , and then [I]_0-i proceeded TO THINK again with all [my]_0-i might . "_[0-i] What do [I]_0-i want ? A new place , in [a new house]_{1284-a new house} , amongst new faces , under new circumstances : [I]_0-i want this because it is of no use wanting anything better . How do [people]_4493-people do to get [a new place]_{1286-a new place} ? [They]_4493-people apply to [friends]_1114-friends , [I]_0-i suppose : [I]_0-i have [no friends]_{1288-no friends} . There are [many others who have [no friends]_{1288-no friends} , who must look about for [themselves]_{1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers} and be [their]_{1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers} own helpers]_{1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers} ; and what is [their]_{1289-many others who have no friends , who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers} resource ? " [I]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} could not tell : nothing answered [me]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} ; [I]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} then ordered [my]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} brain to find a response , and quickly . It worked and worked faster : [I]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} felt the pulses throb in [my]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} head and temples ; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos ; and no result came of its efforts . Feverish with vain labour , [I]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} got up and took a turn in [the room]_{535-the room} ; undrew the curtain , noted a star or two , shivered with cold , and again crept to bed . [A kind fairy]_{4883-a kind fairy} , in [my]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} absence , had surely dropped the required suggestion on [my]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} pillow ; for as [I]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} lay down , it came quietly and naturally to [my]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} mind . - "_{[1291-those who want situations advertise]} [Those who want situations advertise]_{1291-those who want situations advertise} ; [you]_1292-you must advertise in the -shire Herald . " "_[1292-you] How ? [I]_0-i know nothing about advertising . " [Replies]_238-replies rose smooth and prompt now:- "_[1292-you] [You]_1292-you must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a cover directed to [the editor of the Herald]_{1293-the editor of the herald} ; [you]_1292-you must put it , the first opportunity [you]_1292-you have , into the post at [Lowton]_39-lowton ; answers must be addressed to [J.E.]_239-j.e. , at [the post - office]_{1294-the post - office} [there]_4426-there ; [you]_1292-you can go and inquire in about a week after [you]_1292-you send [your]_1292-you letter , if any are come , and act accordingly . " This scheme [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} went over twice , thrice ; it was then digested in [my]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} mind ; [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} had it in a clear practical form : [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} felt satisfied , and fell asleep . With earliest day , [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} was up : [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} had [my]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} advertisement written , enclosed , and directed before the bell rang to rouse [the school]_{4461-the school} ; it ran thus:- "_{[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition]} [A young lady accustomed to tuition]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} " had [I]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} not been [a teacher]_{4885-a teacher} two years ? "_{[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition]} is desirous of meeting with a situation in [a private family where [the children]_{645-the children}]_{1297-a private family where the children} are under fourteen [I]_0-i thought that as [I]_0-i was barely eighteen , it would not do to undertake the guidance of [pupils nearer [my]_0-i own age]_{1299-pupils nearer my own age} . [She]_{1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition} is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English education , together with French , Drawing , and Music " in those days , [reader]_496-reader , this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments , would have been held tolerably comprehensive . "_{[1296-a young lady accustomed to tuition]} Address , J.E. , [Post - office]_{1300-post - office} , [Lowton]_39-lowton , -shire . " This document remained locked in [my]_1302-i drawer all day : after tea , [I]_1302-i asked leave of [the new superintendent]_{4887-the new superintendent} to go to [Lowton]_39-lowton , in order to perform some small commissions for [myself]_1302-i and [one or two of [[my]_1302-i fellow - teachers]_{4889-my fellow - teachers}]_{4888-one or two of my fellow - teachers} ; permission was readily granted ; [I]_1302-i went . It was a walk of two miles , and the evening was wet , but the days were still long ; [I]_1302-i visited [a shop or two]_{4890-a shop or two} , slipped the letter into [the post - office]_{1294-the post - office} , and came back through heavy rain , with streaming garments , but with a relieved heart . The succeeding week seemed long : it came to an end at last , however , like all sublunary things , and once more , towards the close of a pleasant autumn day , [I]_1302-i found [myself]_1302-i afoot on [the road]_{4892-the road} to [Lowton]_39-lowton . [A picturesque track]_{4893-a picturesque track} [it]_{4893-a picturesque track} was , by the way ; lying along the side of [the beck]_{4894-the beck} and through [the sweetest curves of [the dale]_{4896-the dale}]_{4895-the sweetest curves of the dale} : but that day [I]_1302-i thought more of the letters , that might or might not be awaiting [me]_1302-i at [the little burgh whither [I]_1302-i was bound]_{4897-the little burgh whither i was bound} , than of the charms of lea and water . [My]_1302-i ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of shoes ; so [I]_1302-i discharged that business first , and when it was done , [I]_1302-i stepped across [the clean and quiet little street]_{4898-the clean and quiet little street} from [[the shoemaker]_{4899-the shoemaker} 's]_{4900-the shoemaker 's} to [the post - office]_{1294-the post - office} : it was kept by [an old dame]_{4902-an old dame} , who wore horn spectacles on [her]_{4902-an old dame} nose , and black mittens on [her]_{4902-an old dame} hands . "_[1302-i] Are there any letters for [J.E.]_239-j.e. ? " [I]_1302-i asked . [She]_{4902-an old dame} peered at [me]_1302-i over [her]_{4902-an old dame} spectacles , and then [she]_{4902-an old dame} opened a drawer and fumbled among its contents for a long time , so long that [my]_1302-i hopes began to falter . At last , having held a document before [her]_{4902-an old dame} glasses for nearly five minutes , [she]_{4902-an old dame} presented it across the counter , accompanying the act by another inquisitive and mistrustful glance - it was for [J.E.]_239-j.e. "_[1302-i] Is there only one ? " [I]_1302-i demanded . "_[1302-i] There are no more , " said [she]_{4902-an old dame} ; and [I]_1302-i put it in [my]_1302-i pocket and turned [my]_1302-i face homeward : [I]_1302-i could not open it then ; rules obliged [me]_1302-i to be back by eight , and it was already half - past seven . Various duties awaited [me]_1302-i on [my]_1302-i arrival . [I]_1302-i had to sit with [the girls]_{890-the girls} during [their]_{890-the girls} hour of study ; then it was [my]_1302-i turn to read prayers ; to see [them]_{890-the girls} to bed : afterwards [I]_1302-i supped with [the other teachers]_{4608-the other teachers} . Even when [we]_4905-we finally retired for the night , the inevitable [Miss Gryce]_{237-miss gryce} was still [[my]_1302-i companion]_{4906-my companion} : [we]_4905-we had only a short end of candle in [our]_4905-we candlestick , and [I]_1302-i dreaded lest [she]_{237-miss gryce} should talk till it was all burnt out ; fortunately , however , the heavy supper [she]_{237-miss gryce} had eaten produced a soporific effect : [she]_{237-miss gryce} was already snoring before [I]_1302-i had finished undressing . There still remained an inch of candle : [I]_1302-i now took out [my]_1302-i letter ; the seal was an initial F. ; [I]_1302-i broke it ; the contents were brief . "_[1302-i] If J.E. , who advertised in [the -shire Herald of last Thursday]_{1301-the -shire herald of last thursday} , possesses the acquirements mentioned , and if [she]_1302-i is in a position to give satisfactory references as to character and competency , a situation can be offered [her]_1302-i where there is but [one pupil]_{1303-one pupil} , [a little girl , under ten years of age]_{1304-a little girl , under ten years of age} ; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum . [J.E.]_239-j.e. is requested to send references , name , address , and all particulars to the direction:- " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , near [Millcote]_44-millcote , -shire . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i examined the document long : the writing was old - fashioned and rather uncertain , like that of [an elderly lady]_{1305-an elderly lady} . This circumstance was satisfactory : a private fear had haunted [me]_0-i , that in thus acting for [myself]_0-i , and by [my]_0-i own guidance , [I]_0-i ran the risk of getting into some scrape ; and , above all things , [I]_0-i wished the result of [my]_0-i endeavours to be respectable , proper , en regle . [I]_0-i now felt that [an elderly lady]_{1305-an elderly lady} was no bad ingredient in the business [I]_0-i had on hand . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! [I]_0-i saw [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} in a black gown and [widow]_1307-widow 's cap ; frigid , perhaps , but not uncivil : a model of elderly English respectability . [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ! that , doubtless , was the name of [[her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} house]_{1308-her house} : a neat orderly spot , [I]_0-i was sure ; though [I]_0-i failed in [my]_0-i efforts to conceive a correct plan of [the premises]_{1309-the premises} . [Millcote]_44-millcote , [- shire]_{1310-- shire} ; [I]_0-i brushed up [my]_0-i recollections of the map of [England]_21-england , yes , [I]_0-i saw it ; both [the shire]_{1311-the shire} and [the town]_{1312-the town} . -shire was seventy miles nearer [London]_31-london than [the remote county where [I]_0-i now resided]_{1313-the remote county where i now resided} : that was a recommendation to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i longed to go where there was life and movement : [Millcote]_44-millcote was [a large manufacturing town]_{1314-a large manufacturing town} on [the banks of [the A-]_{45-the a-}]_{1315-the banks of the a-} ; [a busy place]_{1316-a busy place} enough , doubtless : so much the better ; it would be a complete change at least . Not that [my]_0-i fancy was much captivated by the idea of long chimneys and clouds of smoke - " but , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i argued , " [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} will , probably , be a good way from [the town]_{1312-the town} . "_[0-i] Here the socket of the candle dropped , and the wick went out . Next day new steps were to be taken ; [my]_0-i plans could no longer be confined to [my]_0-i own breast ; [I]_0-i must impart them in order to achieve [their]_1317-their success . Having sought and obtained an audience of [the superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} during the noontide recreation , [I]_0-i told [her]_{4451-the superintendent} [I]_0-i had a prospect of getting a new situation where the salary would be double what [I]_0-i now received for at [Lowood]_25-lowood [I]_0-i only got 15 pounds per annum ; and requested [she]_{4451-the superintendent} would break the matter for [me]_0-i to [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , or [some of [the committee]_{1320-the committee}]_{1319-some of the committee} , and ascertain whether [they]_1321-they would permit [me]_0-i to mention [them]_1321-they as references . [She]_{4451-the superintendent} obligingly consented to act as [mediatrix]_{1322-mediatrix} in the matter . The next day [she]_{4451-the superintendent} laid the affair before [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , who said that [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} must be written to , as [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was [[my]_0-i natural guardian]_{1323-my natural guardian} . A note was accordingly addressed to [that lady]_{1013-that lady} , who returned for answer , that " [I]_{1013-that lady} might do as [I]_{1013-that lady} pleased : [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had long relinquished all interference in [my]_{1013-that lady} affairs . "_{[1013-that lady]} This note went the round of [the committee]_{1320-the committee} , and at last , after what appeared to [me]_0-i most tedious delay , formal leave was given [me]_0-i to better [my]_0-i condition if [I]_0-i could ; and an assurance added , that as [I]_0-i had always conducted [myself]_0-i well , both as [teacher]_4839-teacher and [pupil]_4838-pupil , at [Lowood]_25-lowood , a testimonial of character and capacity , signed by [the inspectors of [that institution]_{1329-that institution}]_{1328-the inspectors of that institution} , should forthwith be furnished [me]_0-i . This testimonial [I]_0-i accordingly received in about a month , forwarded a copy of it to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and got [that lady]_{1013-that lady} 's reply , stating that [she]_{1013-that lady} was satisfied , and fixing that day fortnight as the period for [my]_0-i assuming the post of governess in [[her]_{1013-that lady} house]_{1308-her house} . [I]_0-i now busied [myself]_0-i in preparations : the fortnight passed rapidly . [I]_0-i had not a very large wardrobe , though it was adequate to [my]_0-i wants ; and the last day sufficed to pack [my]_0-i trunk , - the same [I]_0-i had brought with [me]_0-i eight years ago from [Gateshead]_20-gateshead . The box was corded , the card nailed on . In half - an - hour [the carrier]_{1332-the carrier} was to call for it to take it to [Lowton]_39-lowton , whither [I]_0-i [myself]_0-i was to repair at an early hour the next morning to meet [the coach]_{853-the coach} . [I]_0-i had brushed [my]_0-i black stuff travelling - dress , prepared [my]_0-i bonnet , gloves , and muff ; sought in all [my]_0-i drawers to see that no article was left behind ; and now having nothing more to do , [I]_0-i sat down and tried to rest . [I]_0-i could not ; though [I]_0-i had been on foot all day , [I]_0-i could not now repose an instant ; [I]_0-i was too much excited . A phase of [my]_0-i life was closing to - night , a new one opening to - morrow : impossible to slumber in the interval ; [I]_0-i must watch feverishly while the change was being accomplished . " [Miss]_4359-miss , "_{[1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit]} said [a servant who met [me]_0-i in [the lobby]_{1335-the lobby} , where [I]_0-i was wandering like [a troubled spirit]_{1336-a troubled spirit}]_{1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit} , " [a person below wishes to see [you]_0-i]_{4909-a person below wishes to see you} . "_{[1334-a servant who met me in the lobby , where i was wandering like a troubled spirit]} " [The carrier]_{1332-the carrier} , no doubt , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought , and ran [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} without inquiry . [I]_0-i was passing [the back - parlour]_{1338-the back - parlour} or [[teachers]_{4452-teachers} ' sitting - room]_{1340-teachers ' sitting - room} , the door of which was half open , to go to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , when [some one]_{637-some one} ran out - " It 's [her]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} , [I]_{637-some one} am sure ! - [I]_{637-some one} could have told [her]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} anywhere ! "_{[637-some one]} cried [the individual who stopped [my]_0-i progress and took [my]_0-i hand]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} . [I]_0-i looked : [I]_0-i saw a woman attired like [a well - dressed servant , matronly , yet still young ; very good - looking , with black hair and eyes , and lively complexion]_{1344-a well - dressed servant , matronly , yet still young ; very good - looking , with black hair and eyes , and lively complexion} . " Well , who is it ? "_{[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand]} [she]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} asked , in a voice and with a smile [I]_0-i half recognised ; " [you]_0-i 've not quite forgotten [me]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} , [I]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} think , [Miss Jane]_146-jane ? "_{[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand]} In another second [I]_0-i was embracing and kissing [her]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} rapturously : " [Bessie]_195-bessie ! [Bessie]_195-bessie ! [Bessie]_195-bessie ! "_[0-i] that was all [I]_0-i said ; whereat [she]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} half laughed , half cried , and [we]_1345-we both went into [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} . By the fire stood [a little fellow of three years old]_{1347-a little fellow of three years old} , in plaid frock and trousers . " That is [[my]_195-bessie little boy]_{4911-my little boy} , "_[195-bessie] said [Bessie]_195-bessie directly . " Then [you]_195-bessie are married , [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes ; nearly five years since to [Robert Leaven]_240-robert , [the coachman]_{4912-the coachman} ; and [I]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} 've [a little girl besides [Bobby]_241-bobby]_{4913-a little girl besides bobby} there , that [I]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} 've christened [Jane]_146-jane . "_{[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand]} " And [you]_195-bessie do n't live at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead ? "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie live at [the lodge]_{4914-the lodge} : [the old porter]_{4915-the old porter} has left . "_[195-bessie] " Well , and how do [they]_4916-they all get on ? Tell [me]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} everything about [them]_4916-they , [Bessie]_195-bessie : but sit down first ; and , [Bobby]_241-bobby , come and sit on [my]_{1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand} knee , will [you]_195-bessie ? "_{[1343-the individual who stopped my progress and took my hand]} but [Bobby]_241-bobby preferred sidling over to [[his]_241-bobby mother]_{544-his mother} . " [You]_195-bessie 're not grown so very tall , [Miss Jane]_146-jane , nor so very stout , "_{[242-mrs. leaven]} continued [Mrs. Leaven]_{242-mrs. leaven} . " [I]_{242-mrs. leaven} dare say [they]_4916-they 've not kept [you]_195-bessie too well at [school]_537-school : [Miss Reed]_243-jane is the head and shoulders taller than [you]_195-bessie are ; and [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} would make two of [you]_195-bessie in breadth . "_{[242-mrs. leaven]} " [Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} is handsome , [I]_195-bessie suppose , [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " Very . [She]_{192-miss georgiana} went up to [London]_31-london last winter with [[her]_{192-miss georgiana} mama]_{4460-her mama} , and there [everybody]_{4413-everybody} admired [her]_{192-miss georgiana} , and [a young lord]_{4920-a young lord} fell in love with [her]_{192-miss georgiana} : but [his]_{4920-a young lord} relations were against the match ; and - what do [you]_195-bessie think ? - [he]_{4920-a young lord} and [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} made it up to run away ; but [they]_4921-they were found out and stopped . It was [Miss Reed]_243-jane that found [them]_4921-they out : [I]_195-bessie believe [she]_243-jane was envious ; and now [she]_243-jane and [[her]_243-jane sister]_{4922-her sister} lead a cat and dog life together ; [they]_4921-they are always quarrelling - "_[195-bessie] " Well , and what of [John Reed]_159-john ? "_{[242-mrs. leaven]} " Oh , [he]_159-john is not doing so well as [[his]_159-john mama]_{538-his mama} could wish . [He]_159-john went to college , and [he]_159-john got - plucked , [I]_195-bessie think [they]_4924-they call it : and then [[his]_159-john uncles]_{4925-his uncles} wanted [him]_159-john to be [a barrister]_{4926-a barrister} , and study the law : but [he]_159-john is such [a dissipated young man]_{4927-a dissipated young man} , [they]_4924-they will never make much of [him]_159-john , [I]_195-bessie think . "_[195-bessie] " What does [he]_159-john look like ? "_[195-bessie] " [He]_159-john is very tall : [some people]_{4928-some people} call [him]_159-john [a fine - looking young man]_{4929-a fine - looking young man} ; but [he]_159-john has such thick lips . "_[195-bessie] " And [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? "_{[242-mrs. leaven]} " [Missis]_178-missis looks stout and well enough in the face , but [I]_195-bessie think [she]_178-missis 's not quite easy in [her]_178-missis mind : [Mr. John]_{177-st. john} 's conduct does not please [her-]_178-missis -he spends a deal of money . "_[195-bessie] " Did [she]_178-missis send [you]_195-bessie here , [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " No , indeed : but [I]_195-bessie have long wanted to see [you]_195-bessie , and when [I]_195-bessie heard that there had been a letter from [you]_195-bessie , and that [you]_195-bessie were going to [another part of [the country]_{4525-the country}]_{4930-another part of the country} , [I]_195-bessie thought [I]_195-bessie 'd just set off , and get a look at [you]_195-bessie before [you]_195-bessie were quite out of [my]_195-bessie reach . "_[195-bessie] " [I]_0-i am afraid [you]_195-bessie are disappointed in [me]_0-i , [Bessie]_195-bessie . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said this laughing : [I]_0-i perceived that [Bessie]_195-bessie 's glance , though it expressed regard , did in no shape denote admiration . " No , [Miss Jane]_243-jane , not exactly : [you]_195-bessie are genteel enough ; [you]_195-bessie look like [a lady]_{4932-a lady} , and it is as much as ever [I]_0-i expected of [you]_195-bessie : [you]_195-bessie were no beauty as [a child]_{4305-a child} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i smiled at [Bessie]_195-bessie 's frank answer : [I]_0-i felt that it was correct , but [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i was not quite indifferent to its import : at eighteen most [people]_4493-people wish to please , and the conviction that [they]_4493-people have not an exterior likely to second that desire brings anything but gratification . " [I]_195-bessie dare say [you]_195-bessie are clever , though , "_[195-bessie] continued [Bessie]_195-bessie , by way of solace . " What can [you]_195-bessie do ? Can [you]_195-bessie play on the piano ? "_[195-bessie] " A little . "_[195-bessie] There was one in [the room]_{535-the room} ; [Bessie]_195-bessie went and opened it , and then asked [me]_0-i to sit down and give [her]_195-bessie a tune : [I]_0-i played a waltz or two , and [she]_195-bessie was charmed . " [The Miss Reeds]_{185-the reeds} could not play as well ! "_[195-bessie] said [she]_195-bessie exultingly . " [I]_195-bessie always said [you]_195-bessie would surpass [them]_{185-the reeds} in learning : and can [you]_195-bessie draw ? "_[195-bessie] " That is one of [my]_{4451-the superintendent} paintings over the chimney - piece . "_{[4451-the superintendent]} It was a landscape in water colours , of which [I]_0-i had made a present to [the superintendent]_{4451-the superintendent} , in acknowledgment of [her]_195-bessie obliging mediation with [the committee on [my]_0-i behalf]_{1352-the committee on my behalf} , and which [she]_195-bessie had framed and glazed . " Well , that is beautiful , [Miss Jane]_243-jane ! It is as fine a picture as [any [Miss Reed]_243-jane 's drawing - [master]_4335-master]_{4934-any miss reed 's drawing - master} could paint , let alone [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} [themselves]_{4509-the young ladies} , who could not come near it : and have [you]_195-bessie learnt French ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes , [Bessie]_195-bessie , [I]_195-bessie can both read it and speak it . "_[195-bessie] " And [you]_195-bessie can work on muslin and canvas ? "_[195-bessie] " [I]_195-bessie can . "_[195-bessie] " Oh , [you]_195-bessie are quite [a lady]_{4932-a lady} , [Miss Jane]_243-jane ! [I]_195-bessie knew [you]_195-bessie would be : [you]_195-bessie will get on whether [[your]_195-bessie relations]_{4631-your relations} notice [you]_195-bessie or not . There was something [I]_195-bessie wanted to ask [you]_195-bessie . Have [you]_195-bessie ever heard anything from [[your]_195-bessie father]_{4318-your father} 's kinsfolk , [the Eyres]_{244-the eyres} ? "_[195-bessie] " Never in [my]_195-bessie life . "_[195-bessie] " Well , [you]_195-bessie know [Missis]_178-missis always said [they]_{244-the eyres} were poor and quite despicable : and [they]_{244-the eyres} may be poor ; but [I]_195-bessie believe [they]_{244-the eyres} are as much gentry as [the Reeds]_{185-the reeds} are ; for one day , nearly seven years ago , [a Mr. Eyre]_245-madeira came to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead and wanted to see [you]_195-bessie ; [Missis]_178-missis said [you]_195-bessie were it school fifty miles off ; [he]_245-madeira seemed so much disappointed , for [he]_245-madeira could not stay : [he]_245-madeira was going on a voyage to [a foreign country]_{4940-a foreign country} , and [the ship]_{4941-the ship} was to sail from [London]_31-london in a day or two . [He]_245-madeira looked quite [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} , and [I]_195-bessie believe [he]_245-madeira was [[[your]_195-bessie father]_{4318-your father} 's brother]_{4944-your father 's brother} . "_[195-bessie] " What [foreign country]_{4945-foreign country} was [he]_245-madeira going to , [Bessie]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] " [An island thousands of miles off , where [they]_4947-they make wine]_{4946-an island thousands of miles off , where they make wine} - [the butler]_{4948-the butler} did tell [me]_195-bessie - "_[195-bessie] " [Madeira]_245-madeira ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suggested . " Yes , that is it - that is the very word . "_[0-i] " So [he]_245-madeira went ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes ; [he]_245-madeira did not stay many minutes in [the house]_{4322-the house} : [Missis]_178-missis was very high with [him]_245-madeira ; [she]_178-missis called [him]_245-madeira afterwards a ' [sneaking tradesman]_{4950-sneaking tradesman} . ' [[My]_195-bessie [Robert]_240-robert]_{4951-my robert} believes [he]_245-madeira was [a wine - merchant]_{4952-a wine - merchant} . "_[195-bessie] " Very likely , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i returned ; " or perhaps [clerk]_4953-clerk or agent to [a wine - merchant]_{4952-a wine - merchant} . "_[195-bessie] [Bessie]_195-bessie and [I]_0-i conversed about old times an hour longer , and then [she]_195-bessie was obliged to leave [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i saw [her]_195-bessie again for a few minutes the next morning at [Lowton]_39-lowton , while [I]_0-i was waiting for [the coach]_{853-the coach} . [We]_1354-we parted finally at the door of [the Brocklehurst Arms]_{47-the brocklehurst arms} there : each went [her]_195-bessie separate way ; [she]_195-bessie set off for [the brow of [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{1355-the brow of lowood} Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take [her]_195-bessie back to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead , [I]_0-i mounted [the vehicle]_{1356-the vehicle} which was to bear [me]_0-i to new duties and a new life in [the unknown environs of [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{1357-the unknown environs of millcote} . CHAPTER XI A new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play ; and when [I]_0-i draw up the curtain this time , [reader]_496-reader , [you]_496-reader must fancy [you]_496-reader see [a room in [the George Inn]_{48-the george inn} at [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{1359-a room in the george inn at millcote} , with such large figured papering on the walls as [inn rooms]_{1360-inn rooms} have ; such a carpet , such furniture , such ornaments on the mantelpiece , such prints , including a portrait of [George the Third]_{246-george the third} , and another of [the Prince of [Wales]_49-wales]_{1361-the prince of wales} , and a representation of the death of [Wolfe]_247-wolfe . All this is visible to [you]_496-reader by the light of an oil lamp hanging from the ceiling , and by that of an excellent fire , near which [I]_0-i sit in [my]_0-i cloak and bonnet ; [my]_0-i muff and umbrella lie on the table , and [I]_0-i am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen hours ' exposure to the rawness of an October day : [I]_0-i left [Lowton]_39-lowton at four o'clock a.m. , and the [Millcote]_44-millcote town clock is now just striking eight . Reader , though [I]_0-i look comfortably accommodated , [I]_0-i am not very tranquil in [my]_0-i mind . [I]_0-i thought when [the coach]_{853-the coach} stopped here there would be some one to meet [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i looked anxiously round as [I]_0-i descended the wooden steps the " boots "_[0-i] placed for [my]_0-i convenience , expecting to hear [my]_0-i name pronounced , and to see some description of [carriage]_{1363-carriage} waiting to convey [me]_0-i to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . Nothing of the sort was visible ; and when [I]_0-i asked [a waiter]_{1364-a waiter} if [any one]_{591-any one} had been to inquire after [a Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [I]_0-i was answered in the negative : so [I]_0-i had no resource but to request to be shown into [a private room]_{1366-a private room} : and here [I]_0-i am waiting , while all sorts of doubts and fears are troubling [my]_0-i thoughts . It is a very strange sensation to [inexperienced youth]_{1367-inexperienced youth} to feel itself quite alone in [the world]_{484-the world} , cut adrift from every connection , uncertain whether [the port to which it is bound]_{1369-the port to which it is bound} can be reached , and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted . The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation , the glow of pride warms it ; but then the throb of fear disturbs it ; and fear with [me]_0-i became predominant when half - an - hour elapsed and still [I]_0-i was alone . [I]_0-i bethought [myself]_0-i to ring the bell . " Is there [a place in [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood} called [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{4955-a place in this neighbourhood called thornfield} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked of [the waiter who answered the summons]_{1370-the waiter who answered the summons} . " [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ? [I]_{1370-the waiter who answered the summons} do n't know , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ; [I]_{1370-the waiter who answered the summons} 'll inquire at [the bar]_{4958-the bar} . "_{[1370-the waiter who answered the summons]} [He]_{1370-the waiter who answered the summons} vanished , but reappeared instantly - " Is [your]_{1370-the waiter who answered the summons} name [Eyre]_146-jane , [Miss]_4959-miss ? "_{[1370-the waiter who answered the summons]} " Yes . "_{[1370-the waiter who answered the summons]} " Person here waiting for [you]_0-i . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i jumped up , took [my]_0-i muff and umbrella , and hastened into [the inn- passage]_{1371-the inn- passage} : [a man]_{4429-a man} was standing by the open door , and in [the lamp - lit street]_{1373-the lamp - lit street} [I]_0-i dimly saw [a one - horse conveyance]_{1374-a one - horse conveyance} . " This will be [your]_0-i luggage , [I]_{1375-the man} suppose ? "_{[1375-the man]} said [the man]_{1375-the man} rather abruptly when [he]_{1375-the man} saw [me]_0-i , pointing to [my]_0-i trunk in [the passage]_{4815-the passage} . " Yes . "_{[1375-the man]} [He]_{1375-the man} hoisted [it]_{1374-a one - horse conveyance} on to [the vehicle]_{1356-the vehicle} , which was [a sort of car]_{1378-a sort of car} , and then [I]_0-i got in ; before [he]_{1375-the man} shut [me]_0-i up , [I]_0-i asked [him]_{1375-the man} how far it was to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . " A matter of six miles . "_[0-i] " How long shall [we]_1379-we be before [we]_1379-we get [there]_4426-there ? "_{[1375-the man]} " Happen an hour and a half . "_{[1375-the man]} [He]_{1375-the man} fastened the car door , climbed to [his]_{1375-the man} own seat outside , and [we]_1379-we set off . [Our]_1379-we progress was leisurely , and gave [me]_0-i ample time to reflect ; [I]_0-i was content to be at length so near the end of [my]_0-i journey ; and as [I]_0-i leaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance , [I]_0-i meditated much at [my]_0-i ease . " [I]_0-i suppose , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " judging from the plainness of [the servant]_{4539-the servant} and [carriage]_{1363-carriage} , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is not [a very dashing person]_{4963-a very dashing person} : so much the better ; [I]_0-i never lived amongst [fine people]_{4964-fine people} but once , and [I]_0-i was very miserable with [them]_{4964-fine people} . [I]_0-i wonder if [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} lives alone except [this little girl]_{4450-this little girl} ; if so , and if [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is in any degree amiable , [I]_0-i shall surely be able to get on with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; [I]_0-i will do [my]_0-i best ; it is a pity that doing [one]_4415-one 's best does not always answer . At [Lowood]_25-lowood , indeed , [I]_0-i took that resolution , kept it , and succeeded in pleasing ; but with [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , [I]_0-i remember [my]_0-i best was always spurned with scorn . [I]_0-i pray [God Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} may not turn out a second [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ; but if [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} does , [I]_0-i am not bound to stay with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! let the worst come to the worst , [I]_0-i can advertise again . How far are [we]_1380-we on [[our]_1380-we road]_{4967-our road} now , [I]_0-i wonder ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i let down the window and looked out ; [Millcote]_44-millcote was behind [us]_1380-we ; judging by the number of [its]_44-millcote lights , [it]_44-millcote seemed [a place of considerable magnitude , much larger than [Lowton]_39-lowton]_{1381-a place of considerable magnitude , much larger than lowton} . [We]_1380-we were now , as far as [I]_0-i could see , on [a sort of common]_{1382-a sort of common} ; but there were [houses]_665-houses scattered all over [the district]_{1384-the district} ; [I]_0-i felt [we]_1380-we were in [a different region to [Lowood]_25-lowood]_{1385-a different region to lowood} , [more populous , less picturesque]_{1386-more populous , less picturesque} ; more stirring , less romantic . [The roads]_{1387-the roads} were heavy , the night misty ; [[my]_0-i conductor]_{1388-my conductor} let [his]_{1388-my conductor} horse walk all the way , and the hour and a half extended , [I]_0-i verily believe , to two hours ; at last [he]_{1388-my conductor} turned in [his]_{1388-my conductor} seat and said - " [You]_0-i 're noan so far fro ' [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} now . "_{[1388-my conductor]} Again [I]_0-i looked out : [we]_1380-we were passing [a church]_{1389-a church} ; [I]_0-i saw [its]_{1389-a church} low broad tower against the sky , and its bell was tolling a quarter ; [I]_0-i saw a narrow galaxy of lights too , on [a hillside]_{1390-a hillside} , marking [a village]_{1391-a village} or [hamlet]_1392-hamlet . About ten minutes after , [the driver]_{1393-the driver} got down and opened a pair of gates : [we]_1380-we passed through , and [they]_1394-they clashed to behind [us]_1380-we . [We]_1380-we now slowly ascended [a drive]_{1395-a drive} , and came upon the long front of [a house]_{4534-a house} : candlelight gleamed from one curtained bow - window ; all the rest were dark . [The car]_{1397-the car} stopped at the front door ; it was opened by [a maid - servant]_{1398-a maid - servant} ; [I]_0-i alighted and went in . " Will [you]_0-i walk this way , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ? "_{[982-the girl]} said [the girl]_{982-the girl} ; and [I]_0-i followed [her]_{982-the girl} across [a square hall with high doors all round]_{1400-a square hall with high doors all round} : [she]_{982-the girl} ushered [me]_0-i into [a room whose double illumination of fire and candle]_{1401-a room whose double illumination of fire and candle} at first dazzled [me]_0-i , contrasting as it did with the darkness to which [my]_0-i eyes had been for two hours inured ; when [I]_0-i could see , however , a cosy and agreeable picture presented itself to [my]_0-i view . [A snug small room]_{1402-a snug small room} ; a round table by a cheerful fire ; an arm - chair high - backed and old - fashioned , wherein sat [the neatest imaginable little elderly lady]_{1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady} , in [widow]_1307-widow 's cap , black silk gown , and snowy muslin apron ; exactly like what [I]_0-i had fancied [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , only less stately and milder looking . [She]_{1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady} was occupied in knitting ; a large cat sat demurely at [her]_{1403-the neatest imaginable little elderly lady} feet ; nothing in short was wanting to complete the beau - ideal of domestic comfort . A more reassuring introduction for [a new governess]_{1405-a new governess} could scarcely be conceived ; there was no grandeur to overwhelm , no stateliness to embarrass ; and then , as [I]_0-i entered , [the old lady]_{1406-the old lady} got up and promptly and kindly came forward to meet [me]_0-i . " How do [you]_0-i do , [[my]_{1406-the old lady} dear]_{4468-my dear} ? [I]_{1406-the old lady} am afraid [you]_0-i have had a tedious ride ; [John]_{177-st. john} drives so slowly ; [you]_0-i must be cold , come to the fire . "_{[1406-the old lady]} " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [I]_0-i suppose ? "_[0-i] said [I.]_0-i " Yes , [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} are right : do sit down . "_{[1406-the old lady]} [She]_{1406-the old lady} conducted [me]_0-i to [her]_{1406-the old lady} own chair , and then began to remove [my]_0-i shawl and untie [my]_0-i bonnet - strings ; [I]_0-i begged [she]_{1406-the old lady} would not give [herself]_{1406-the old lady} so much trouble . " Oh , it is no trouble ; [I]_{1406-the old lady} dare say [your]_0-i own hands are almost numbed with cold . [Leah]_195-bessie , make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two : here are the keys of [the storeroom]_{4970-the storeroom} . "_{[1406-the old lady]} And [she]_{1406-the old lady} produced from [her]_{1406-the old lady} pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys , and delivered them to [the servant]_{4539-the servant} . " Now , then , draw nearer to the fire , "_{[1406-the old lady]} [she]_{1406-the old lady} continued . " [You]_195-bessie 've brought [your]_195-bessie luggage with [you]_195-bessie , have n't [you]_195-bessie , [[my]_{1406-the old lady} dear]_{4468-my dear} ? "_{[1406-the old lady]} " Yes , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am . "_{[1406-the old lady]} " [I]_{1406-the old lady} 'll see it carried into [[your]_195-bessie room]_{4973-your room} , "_{[1406-the old lady]} [she]_{1406-the old lady} said , and bustled out . " [She]_{1406-the old lady} treats [me]_{1406-the old lady} like [a visitor]_{4974-a visitor} , "_{[1406-the old lady]} thought [I.]_1408-i. " [I]_{1406-the old lady} little expected such a reception ; [I]_{1406-the old lady} anticipated only coldness and stiffness : this is not like what [I]_{1406-the old lady} have heard of the treatment of [governesses]_{4975-governesses} ; but [I]_{1406-the old lady} must not exult too soon . "_{[1406-the old lady]} [She]_{1406-the old lady} returned ; with [her]_{1406-the old lady} own hands cleared [her]_{1406-the old lady} knitting apparatus and a book or two from the table , to make room for the tray which [Leah]_195-bessie now brought , and then [herself]_{1406-the old lady} handed [me]_0-i the refreshments . [I]_0-i felt rather confused at being the object of more attention than [I]_0-i had ever before received , and , that too , shown by [[my]_0-i employer]_{1409-my employer} and [superior]_{1410-superior} ; but as [she]_{1406-the old lady} did not [herself]_{1406-the old lady} seem to consider [she]_{1406-the old lady} was doing anything out of [her]_{1406-the old lady} place , [I]_0-i thought it better to take [her]_{1406-the old lady} civilities quietly . " Shall [I]_0-i have the pleasure of seeing [Miss Fairfax]_{248-miss fairfax} to - night ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked , when [I]_0-i had partaken of what [she]_{1406-the old lady} offered [me]_0-i . " What did [you]_0-i say , [[my]_{1411-the good lady} dear]_{4468-my dear} ? [I]_{1411-the good lady} am a little deaf , "_{[1411-the good lady]} returned [the good lady]_{1411-the good lady} , approaching [her]_{1411-the good lady} ear to [my]_0-i mouth . [I]_0-i repeated the question more distinctly . " [Miss Fairfax]_{248-miss fairfax} ? Oh , [you]_0-i mean [Miss Varens]_{249-miss varens} ! [Varens]_{249-miss varens} is the name of [[your]_0-i future pupil]_{4977-your future pupil} . "_[0-i] " Indeed ! Then [she]_{248-miss fairfax} is not [[your]_0-i daughter]_{4978-your daughter} ? "_[0-i] " No , - [I]_0-i have [no family]_{4979-no family} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should have followed up [my]_0-i first inquiry , by asking in what way [Miss Varens]_{249-miss varens} was connected with [her]_{249-miss varens} ; but [I]_0-i recollected it was not polite to ask too many questions : besides , [I]_0-i was sure to hear in time . " [I]_{249-miss varens} am so glad , "_{[249-miss varens]} [she]_{249-miss varens} continued , as [she]_{249-miss varens} sat down opposite to [me]_0-i , and took the cat on [her]_{249-miss varens} knee ; " [I]_{249-miss varens} am so glad [you]_0-i are come ; it will be quite pleasant living [here]_4312-here now with [a companion]_{1021-a companion} . To be sure it is pleasant at any time ; for [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} is [a fine old hall]_{4982-a fine old hall} , rather neglected of late years perhaps , but still [it]_{43-thornfield} is [a respectable place]_{4983-a respectable place} ; yet [you]_0-i know in winter - time one feels dreary quite alone in [the best quarters]_{4984-the best quarters} . [I]_{249-miss varens} say alone - [Leah]_195-bessie is [a nice girl]_{4985-a nice girl} to be sure , and [John]_{177-st. john} and [[his]_{177-st. john} wife]_{4986-his wife} are [very decent people]_{4987-very decent people} ; but then [you]_0-i see [they]_4988-them are only [servants]_{4989-servants} , and one ca n't converse with [them]_4988-them on terms of equality : [one]_4415-one must keep [them]_4988-them at due distance , for fear of losing [one]_4415-one 's authority . [I]_{249-miss varens} 'm sure last winter it was a very severe one , if [you]_0-i recollect , and when it did not snow , it rained and blew , not a creature but [the butcher and postman]_{4992-the butcher and postman} came to [the house]_{4322-the house} , from November till February ; and [I]_{249-miss varens} really got quite melancholy with sitting night after night alone ; [I]_{249-miss varens} had [Leah]_195-bessie in to read to [me]_{249-miss varens} sometimes ; but [I]_{249-miss varens} do n't think [the poor girl]_{4994-the poor girl} liked the task much : [she]_{4994-the poor girl} felt it confining . In spring and summer [one]_4415-one got on better : sunshine and long days make such a difference ; and then , just at the commencement of this autumn , little [Adela Varens]_{250-adela varens} came and [[her]_{250-adela varens} nurse]_{4996-her nurse} : [a child]_{4305-a child} makes [a house]_{4534-a house} alive all at once ; and now [you]_0-i are here [I]_{249-miss varens} shall be quite gay . "_{[249-miss varens]} [My]_0-i heart really warmed to [the worthy lady]_{1412-the worthy lady} as [I]_0-i heard [her]_{1412-the worthy lady} talk ; and [I]_0-i drew [my]_0-i chair a little nearer to [her]_{1412-the worthy lady} , and expressed [my]_0-i sincere wish that [she]_{1412-the worthy lady} might find [my]_0-i company as agreeable as [she]_{1412-the worthy lady} anticipated . " But [I]_{1412-the worthy lady} 'll not keep [you]_0-i sitting up late to - night , "_{[1412-the worthy lady]} said [she]_{1412-the worthy lady} ; " it is on the stroke of twelve now , and [you]_0-i have been travelling all day : [you]_0-i must feel tired . If [you]_0-i have got [your]_0-i feet well warmed , [I]_{1412-the worthy lady} 'll show [you]_0-i [[your]_0-i bedroom]_{4999-your bedroom} . [I]_{1412-the worthy lady} 've had [the room next to [mine]_{1412-the worthy lady} prepared for [you]_0-i]_{5000-the room next to mine prepared for you} ; [it]_{5000-the room next to mine prepared for you} is only [a small apartment]_{5001-a small apartment} , but [I]_{1412-the worthy lady} thought [you]_0-i would like [it]_{5000-the room next to mine prepared for you} better than one of [the large front chambers]_{5002-the large front chambers} : to be sure [they]_{5002-the large front chambers} have finer furniture , but [they]_{5002-the large front chambers} are so dreary and solitary , [I]_{1412-the worthy lady} never sleep in [them]_{5002-the large front chambers} [myself]_{1412-the worthy lady} . "_{[1412-the worthy lady]} [I]_0-i thanked [her]_1413-her for [her]_1413-her considerate choice , and as [I]_0-i really felt fatigued with [my]_0-i long journey , expressed [my]_0-i readiness to retire . [She]_1413-her took [her]_1413-her candle , and [I]_0-i followed [her]_1413-her from [the room]_{535-the room} . First [she]_1413-her went to see if the hall - door was fastened ; having taken the key from the lock , [she]_1413-her led the way [upstairs]_552-upstairs . The steps and banisters were of oak ; the staircase window was high and latticed ; both [it]_1416-it and the long gallery into which the bedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged to [a church]_{1389-a church} rather than [a house]_{4534-a house} . A very chill and vault - like air pervaded the stairs and gallery , suggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude ; and [I]_0-i was glad , when finally ushered into [[my]_0-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} , to find [it]_{1419-my chamber} of small dimensions , and furnished in ordinary , modern style . When [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had bidden [me]_0-i a kind good - night , and [I]_0-i had fastened [my]_0-i door , gazed leisurely round , and in some measure effaced the eerie impression made by [that wide hall]_{1420-that wide hall} , that dark and spacious staircase , and [that long , cold gallery]_{1421-that long , cold gallery} , by the livelier aspect of [[my]_0-i little room]_{1422-my little room} , [I]_0-i remembered that , after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety , [I]_0-i was now at last in [safe haven]_{1423-safe haven} . The impulse of gratitude swelled [my]_0-i heart , and [I]_0-i knelt down at the bedside , and offered up thanks where thanks were due ; not forgetting , ere [I]_0-i rose , to implore aid on [my]_0-i further path , and the power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered [me]_0-i before it was earned . [[My]_0-i couch]_{1424-my couch} had no thorns in it that night ; [[my]_0-i solitary room]_{1425-my solitary room} no fears . At once weary and content , [I]_0-i slept soon and soundly : when [I]_0-i awoke it was broad day . [The chamber]_{4856-the chamber} looked such a bright little place to [me]_0-i as the sun shone in between the gay blue chintz window curtains , showing papered walls and a carpeted floor , so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood , that [my]_0-i spirits rose at the view . Externals have a great effect on [the young]_{1427-the young} : [I]_0-i thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for [me]_0-i , one that was to have its flowers and pleasures , as well as its thorns and toils . [My]_0-i faculties , roused by the change of scene , the new field offered to hope , seemed all astir . [I]_0-i can not precisely define what [they]_1428-they expected , but it was something pleasant : not perhaps that day or that month , but at an indefinite future period . [I]_0-i rose ; [I]_0-i dressed [myself]_0-i with care : obliged to be plain - for [I]_0-i had no article of attire that was not made with extreme simplicity - [I]_0-i was still by nature solicitous to be neat . It was not [my]_0-i habit to be disregardful of appearance or careless of the impression [I]_0-i made : on the contrary , [I]_0-i ever wished to look as well as [I]_0-i could , and to please as much as [my]_0-i want of beauty would permit . [I]_0-i sometimes regretted that [I]_0-i was not handsomer ; [I]_0-i sometimes wished to have rosy cheeks , a straight nose , and small cherry mouth ; [I]_0-i desired to be tall , stately , and finely developed in figure ; [I]_0-i felt it a misfortune that [I]_0-i was so little , so pale , and had features so irregular and so marked . And why had [I]_0-i these aspirations and these regrets ? It would be difficult to say : [I]_0-i could not then distinctly say it to [myself]_0-i ; yet [I]_0-i had a reason , and a logical , natural reason too . However , when [I]_0-i had brushed [my]_0-i hair very smooth , and put on [my]_0-i black frock - which , Quakerlike as it was , at least had the merit of fitting to a nicety - and adjusted [my]_0-i clean white tucker , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i should do respectably enough to appear before [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and that [[my]_0-i new pupil]_{1429-my new pupil} would not at least recoil from [me]_0-i with antipathy . Having opened [my]_0-i chamber window , and seen that [I]_0-i left all things straight and neat on the toilet table , [I]_0-i ventured forth . Traversing [the long and matted gallery]_{1430-the long and matted gallery} , [I]_0-i descended [the slippery steps of oak]_{1431-the slippery steps of oak} ; then [I]_0-i gained [the hall]_{608-the hall} : [I]_0-i halted there a minute ; [I]_0-i looked at some pictures on the walls one , [I]_0-i remember , represented [a grim man in a cuirass]_{1433-a grim man in a cuirass} , and one [a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace]_{1434-a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace} , at a bronze lamp pendent from the ceiling , at a great clock whose case was of oak curiously carved , and ebon black with time and rubbing . Everything appeared very stately and imposing to [me]_0-i ; but then [I]_0-i was so little accustomed to grandeur . [The hall]_{608-the hall} - door , which was half of glass , stood open ; [I]_0-i stepped over the threshold . It was a fine autumn morning ; the early sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and [still green fields]_{1436-still green fields} ; advancing on to [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} , [I]_0-i looked up and surveyed the front of [the mansion]_{568-the mansion} . [It]_{568-the mansion} was three storeys high , of proportions not vast , though considerable : [[a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} 's manor - house]_{1440-a gentleman 's manor - house} , not [[a nobleman]_{1441-a nobleman} 's seat]_{1442-a nobleman 's seat} : battlements round the top gave [it]_{568-the mansion} a picturesque look . [Its]_{568-the mansion} grey front stood out well from the background of [a rookery]_{1443-a rookery} , whose cawing [tenants]_1444-tenants were now on the wing : [they]_1444-tenants flew over [the lawn and grounds]_{1445-the lawn and grounds} to alight in [a great meadow]_{1446-a great meadow} , from which [these were separated by a sunk fence]_{1447-these were separated by a sunk fence} , and where an array of mighty old thorn trees , strong , knotty , and broad as oaks , at once explained the etymology of [the mansion]_{568-the mansion} 's designation . Farther off were [hills]_1449-hills : not so lofty as those round [Lowood]_25-lowood , nor so craggy , nor so like barriers of separation from [the living world]_{1450-the living world} ; but yet quiet and lonely hills enough , and seeming to embrace [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} with a seclusion [I]_0-i had not expected to find existent so near [the stirring locality of [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{1451-the stirring locality of millcote} . [A little hamlet]_{1452-a little hamlet} , whose roofs were blent with trees , straggled up [the side of [one of these hills]_{1454-one of these hills}]_{1453-the side of one of these hills} ; [the church of [the district]_{1384-the district}]_{1455-the church of the district} stood nearer [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : [its]_{1455-the church of the district} old tower - top looked over [a knoll between [the house]_{4322-the house} and gates]_{1457-a knoll between the house and gates} . [I]_0-i was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh air , yet listening with delight to the cawing of [the rooks]_{1459-the rooks} , yet surveying the wide , hoary front of [the hall]_{608-the hall} , and thinking what a great place [it]_1461-it was for [one lonely little dame like [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax}]_{1462-one lonely little dame like mrs. fairfax} to inhabit , when [that lady]_{1013-that lady} appeared at the door . " What ! out already ? "_{[1013-that lady]} said [she]_{1013-that lady} . " [I]_{1013-that lady} see [you]_0-i are [an early riser]_{5003-an early riser} . "_{[1013-that lady]} [I]_0-i went up to [her]_{1013-that lady} , and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand . " How do [you]_0-i like [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ? "_{[1013-that lady]} [she]_{1013-that lady} asked . [I]_0-i told [her]_{1013-that lady} [I]_0-i liked [it]_1464-it very much . " Yes , "_{[1013-that lady]} [she]_{1013-that lady} said , " [it]_1464-it is [a pretty place]_{5004-a pretty place} ; but [I]_{1013-that lady} fear [it]_1464-it will be getting out of order , unless [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} should take it into [his]_{251-mr. rochester} head to come and reside [here]_4312-here permanently ; or , at least , visit [it]_1464-it rather oftener : [great houses]_{5006-great houses} and [fine grounds]_{5007-fine grounds} require the presence of [the proprietor]_{5008-the proprietor} . "_{[1013-that lady]} " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i exclaimed . " Who is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[0-i] " [The owner of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{5009-the owner of thornfield} , "_{[1013-that lady]} [she]_{1013-that lady} responded quietly . " Did [you]_0-i not know [he]_1465-he was called [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1013-that lady]} Of course [I]_0-i did not - [I]_0-i had never heard of [him]_1465-he before ; but [the old lady]_{1406-the old lady} seemed to regard [his]_1465-he existence as a universally understood fact , with which [everybody]_{4413-everybody} must be acquainted by instinct . " [I]_0-i thought , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i continued , " [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} belonged to [you]_{1013-that lady} . "_[0-i] " To [me]_{1406-the old lady} ? Bless [you]_0-i , [child]_4354-child ; what an idea ! To [me]_{1406-the old lady} ! [I]_{1406-the old lady} am only [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} - [the manager]_{5012-the manager} . To be sure [I]_{1406-the old lady} am distantly related to [the Rochesters]_{253-the rochesters} by [the mother]_{542-the mother} 's side , or at least [[my]_{1406-the old lady} husband]_{5014-my husband} was ; [he]_{5014-my husband} was [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , [incumbent of [Hay]_51-hay]_{5016-incumbent of hay} - [that little village yonder]_{5017-that little village yonder} on [the hill]_{4854-the hill} - and [that church near the gates]_{5019-that church near the gates} was [his]_{5014-my husband} . [[The present Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's mother]_{5020-the present mr. rochester 's mother} was [a Fairfax]_{5021-a fairfax} , and [second cousin to [[my]_{1406-the old lady} husband]_{5014-my husband}]_{5022-second cousin to my husband} : but [I]_{1406-the old lady} never presume on the connection - in fact , it is nothing to [me]_{1406-the old lady} ; [I]_{1406-the old lady} consider [myself]_{1406-the old lady} quite in the light of [an ordinary housekeeper]_{5024-an ordinary housekeeper} : [[my]_{1406-the old lady} employer]_{1409-my employer} is always civil , and [I]_{1406-the old lady} expect nothing more . "_{[1406-the old lady]} " And [the little girl]_{5026-the little girl} - [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} ! "_[0-i] " [She]_{5026-the little girl} is [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's ward]_{5028-mr. rochester 's ward} ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} commissioned [me]_{1406-the old lady} to find [a governess]_{5029-a governess} for [her]_{5026-the little girl} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} intended to have [her]_{5026-the little girl} brought up in -shire , [I]_{1406-the old lady} believe . Here [she]_{5026-the little girl} comes , with [her]_{5026-the little girl} ' bonne , ' as [she]_{5026-the little girl} calls [[her]_{5026-the little girl} nurse]_{4996-her nurse} . "_{[1406-the old lady]} The enigma then was explained : [this affable and kind little widow]_{1468-this affable and kind little widow} was [no great dame]_{1469-no great dame} ; but [a dependant like [myself]_0-i]_{1470-a dependant like myself} . [I]_0-i did not like [her]_{1468-this affable and kind little widow} the worse for that ; on the contrary , [I]_0-i felt better pleased than ever . The equality between [her]_{1468-this affable and kind little widow} and [me]_0-i was real ; not the mere result of condescension on [her]_{1468-this affable and kind little widow} part : so much the better - [my]_0-i position was all the freer . As [I]_0-i was meditating on this discovery , [a little girl]_{1471-a little girl} , followed by [[her]_{1471-a little girl} attendant]_{1472-her attendant} , came running up [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} . [I]_0-i looked at [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} , who did not at first appear to notice [me]_0-i : [she]_{5027-my pupil} was quite [a child , perhaps seven or eight years old]_{1475-a child , perhaps seven or eight years old} , slightly built , with a pale , small - featured face , and a redundancy of hair falling in curls to [her]_{5027-my pupil} waist . " Good morning , [Miss Adela]_{254-miss adela} , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . " Come and speak to [the lady who is to teach [you]_0-i]_{5031-the lady who is to teach you} , and to make [you]_0-i [a clever woman some day]_{5032-a clever woman some day} . "_{[5027-my pupil]} [She]_{5027-my pupil} approached . " C'est le ma gouverante ! "_{[5027-my pupil]} said [she]_{5027-my pupil} , pointing to [me]_0-i , and addressing [[her]_{5027-my pupil} nurse]_{4996-her nurse} ; who answered - " Mais oui , [certainement]_{5033-certainement} . "_{[5027-my pupil]} " Are [they]_5034-they [foreigners]_{5035-foreigners} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i inquired , amazed at hearing the French language . " [The nurse]_{510-the nurse} is [a foreigner]_{5037-a foreigner} , and [Adela]_{254-miss adela} was born on [the Continent]_{52-the continent} ; and , [I]_0-i believe , never left it till within six months ago . When [she]_{254-miss adela} first came [here]_4312-here [she]_{254-miss adela} could speak no English ; now [she]_{254-miss adela} can make shift to talk it a little : [I]_0-i do n't understand [her]_{254-miss adela} , [she]_{254-miss adela} mixes it so with French ; but [you]_5039-you will make out [her]_{254-miss adela} meaning very well , [I]_0-i dare say . "_[0-i] Fortunately [I]_0-i had had the advantage of being taught French by [a French lady]_{1477-a french lady} ; and as [I]_0-i had always made a point of conversing with [Madame Pierrot]_{212-madame pierrot} as often as [I]_0-i could , and had besides , during the last seven years , learnt a portion of French by heart daily - applying [myself]_0-i to take pains with [my]_0-i accent , and imitating as closely as possible the pronunciation of [[my]_0-i teacher]_{1478-my teacher} , [I]_0-i had acquired a certain degree of readiness and correctness in the language , and was not likely to be much at a loss with [Mademoiselle Adela]_{255-mademoiselle} . [She]_{255-mademoiselle} came and shook hand with [me]_0-i when [she]_{255-mademoiselle} heard that [I]_0-i was [[her]_{255-mademoiselle} governess]_{1479-her governess} ; and as [I]_0-i led [her]_{255-mademoiselle} in to breakfast , [I]_0-i addressed some phrases to [her]_{255-mademoiselle} in [her]_{255-mademoiselle} own tongue : [she]_{255-mademoiselle} replied briefly at first , but after [we]_1480-we were seated at the table , and [she]_{255-mademoiselle} had examined [me]_0-i some ten minutes with [her]_{255-mademoiselle} large hazel eyes , [she]_{255-mademoiselle} suddenly commenced chattering fluently . " Ah ! "_{[255-mademoiselle]} cried [she]_{255-mademoiselle} , in French , " [you]_0-i speak [my]_{255-mademoiselle} language as well as [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} does : [I]_{255-mademoiselle} can talk to [you]_0-i as [I]_{255-mademoiselle} can to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , and so can [Sophie]_256-sophie . [She]_256-sophie will be glad : [nobody here]_{5040-nobody here} understands [her]_256-sophie : [Madame Fairfax]_{257-madame fairfax} is all English . [Sophie]_256-sophie is [[my]_{255-mademoiselle} nurse]_{5041-my nurse} ; [she]_256-sophie came with [me]_{255-mademoiselle} over [the sea]_{5042-the sea} in [a great ship]_{5043-a great ship} with a chimney that smoked - how it did smoke ! - and [I]_{255-mademoiselle} was sick , and so was [Sophie]_256-sophie , and so was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} lay down on a sofa in [a pretty room called [the salon]_{5045-the salon}]_{5044-a pretty room called the salon} , and [Sophie]_256-sophie and [I]_{255-mademoiselle} had little beds in [another place]_{5046-another place} . [I]_{255-mademoiselle} nearly fell out of mine ; it was like a shelf . And [Mademoiselle]_{255-mademoiselle} - what is [your]_{255-mademoiselle} name ? "_{[255-mademoiselle]} " [Eyre]_146-jane - [Jane Eyre]_146-jane . "_{[255-mademoiselle]} " [Aire]_258-aire ? Bah ! [I]_1481-i can not say it . Well , [[our]_5047-we ship]_{5048-our ship} stopped in the morning , before it was quite daylight , at [a great city]_{5049-a great city} - [a huge city]_{5050-a huge city} , with [very dark houses and all smoky]_{5051-very dark houses and all smoky} ; not at all like [the pretty clean town]_{5052-the pretty clean town} [I]_1481-i came from ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} carried [me]_1481-i in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms over a plank to [the land]_{5053-the land} , and [Sophie]_256-sophie came after , and [we]_5047-we all got into [a coach]_{835-a coach} , which took [us]_5047-we to [a beautiful large house , larger than this and finer , called [an hotel]_{5056-an hotel}]_{5055-a beautiful large house , larger than this and finer , called an hotel} . [We]_5047-we stayed [there]_4426-there nearly a week : [I]_1481-i and [Sophie]_256-sophie used to walk every day in [a great green place full of trees]_{5058-a great green place full of trees} , called [the Park]_{5059-the park} ; and there were [many children]_{5060-many children} [there]_4426-there besides [me]_1481-i , and [a pond with beautiful birds in it]_{5062-a pond with beautiful birds in it} , that [I]_1481-i fed with crumbs . "_[1481-i] " Can [you]_0-i understand [her]_1481-i when [she]_1481-i runs on so fast ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} asked [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [I]_0-i understood [her]_1481-i very well , for [I]_0-i had been accustomed to the fluent tongue of [Madame Pierrot]_{212-madame pierrot} . " [I]_{1411-the good lady} wish , "_{[1411-the good lady]} continued [the good lady]_{1411-the good lady} , " [you]_0-i would ask [her]_1481-i a question or two about [[her]_1481-i parents]_{5063-her parents} : [I]_{1411-the good lady} wonder if [she]_1481-i remembers [them]_{5063-her parents} ? "_{[1411-the good lady]} " [Adele]_259-adele , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i inquired , " with whom did [you]_259-adele live when [you]_259-adele were in [that pretty clean town]_{5064-that pretty clean town} [you]_259-adele spoke of ? "_[0-i] " [I]_1483-her lived long ago with [mama]_4313-mama ; but [she]_4313-mama is gone to [the Holy Virgin]_{5066-the holy virgin} . [Mama]_260-mama used to teach [me]_1483-her to dance and sing , and to say verses . [A great many gentlemen]_{5067-a great many gentlemen} and [ladies]_745-ladies came to see [mama]_4313-mama , and [I]_1483-her used to dance before [them]_{5067-a great many gentlemen} , or to sit on [their]_{5067-a great many gentlemen} knees and sing to [them]_{5067-a great many gentlemen} : [I]_1483-her liked it . Shall [I]_1483-her let [you]_{5067-a great many gentlemen} hear [me]_1483-her sing now ? "_[1483-her] [She]_1483-her had finished [her]_1483-her breakfast , so [I]_0-i permitted [her]_1483-her to give a specimen of [her]_1483-her accomplishments . Descending from [her]_1483-her chair , [she]_1483-her came and placed [herself]_1483-her on [my]_0-i knee ; then , folding [her]_1483-her little hands demurely before [her]_1483-her , shaking back [her]_1483-her curls and lifting [her]_1483-her eyes to the ceiling , [she]_1483-her commenced singing a song from some opera . It was the strain of [a forsaken lady , who , after bewailing the perfidy of [[her]_1483-her lover]_{1485-her lover} , calls pride to [her]_1483-her aid]_{1484-a forsaken lady , who , after bewailing the perfidy of her lover , calls pride to her aid} ; desires [[her]_1483-her attendant]_{1472-her attendant} to deck [her]_1483-her in [her]_1483-her brightest jewels and richest robes , and resolves to meet [the false one]_{1487-the false one} that night at a ball , and prove to [him]_{1485-her lover} , by the gaiety of [her]_1483-her demeanour , how little [his]_{1485-her lover} desertion has affected [her]_1483-her . The subject seemed strangely chosen for [an infant singer]_{1488-an infant singer} ; but [I]_0-i suppose the point of the exhibition lay in hearing the notes of love and jealousy warbled with the lisp of childhood ; and in very bad taste that point was : at least [I]_0-i thought so . [Adele]_259-adele sang the canzonette tunefully enough , and with the naivete of [her]_259-adele age . This achieved , [she]_259-adele jumped from [my]_0-i knee and said , " Now , [Mademoiselle]_{255-mademoiselle} , [I]_259-adele will repeat [you]_{255-mademoiselle} some poetry . "_[259-adele] Assuming an attitude , [she]_259-adele began , " La Ligue des Rats : fable de La Fontaine . "_[259-adele] [She]_259-adele then declaimed the little piece with an attention to punctuation and emphasis , a flexibility of voice and an appropriateness of gesture , very unusual indeed at [her]_259-adele age , and which proved [she]_259-adele had been carefully trained . " Was it [[your]_{255-mademoiselle} mama]_{5070-your mama} who taught [you]_{255-mademoiselle} that piece ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " Yes , and [she]_{5070-your mama} just used to say it in this way : ' Qu ' avez vous donc ? lui dit un de ces rats ; parlez ! ' [She]_{5070-your mama} made [me]_0-i lift [my]_0-i hand - so - to remind [me]_0-i to raise [my]_0-i voice at the question . Now shall [I]_0-i dance for [you]_{255-mademoiselle} ? "_[0-i] " No , that will do : but after [[your]_{255-mademoiselle} mama]_{5070-your mama} went to [the Holy Virgin]_{5066-the holy virgin} , as [you]_{255-mademoiselle} say , with whom did [you]_{255-mademoiselle} live then ? "_[259-adele] " With [Madame Frederic]_{261-madame frederic} and [[her]_{261-madame frederic} husband]_{620-her husband} : [she]_{5070-your mama} took care of [me]_0-i , but [she]_{5070-your mama} is nothing related to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i think [she]_{5070-your mama} is poor , for [she]_{5070-your mama} had not so fine [a house]_{4534-a house} as [mama]_4313-mama . [I]_0-i was not long [there]_4426-there . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} asked [me]_0-i if [I]_0-i would like to go and live with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in [England]_21-england , and [I]_0-i said yes ; for [I]_0-i knew [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} before [I]_0-i knew [Madame Frederic]_{261-madame frederic} , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was always kind to [me]_0-i and gave [me]_0-i pretty dresses and toys : but [you]_5077-you see [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has not kept [his]_{251-mr. rochester} word , for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has brought [me]_0-i to [England]_21-england , and now [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is gone back again [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} , and [I]_0-i never see [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[0-i] After breakfast , [Adele]_259-adele and [I]_0-i withdrew to [the library]_{659-the library} , which room , it appears , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had directed should be used as [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} . Most of the books were locked up behind glass doors ; but there was one bookcase left open containing everything that could be needed in the way of elementary works , and several volumes of light literature , poetry , biography , travels , a few romances , c. [I]_0-i suppose [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had considered that these were all [the governess]_{1491-the governess} would require for [her]_{1491-the governess} private perusal ; and , indeed , they contented [me]_0-i amply for the present ; compared with the scanty pickings [I]_0-i had now and then been able to glean at Lowood , they seemed to offer an abundant harvest of entertainment and information . In [this room]_{570-this room} , too , there was a cabinet piano , quite new and of superior tone ; also an easel for painting and a pair of globes . [I]_0-i found [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} sufficiently docile , though disinclined to apply : [she]_{5027-my pupil} had not been used to regular occupation of any kind . [I]_0-i felt it would be injudicious to confine [her]_{5027-my pupil} too much at first ; so , when [I]_0-i had talked to [her]_{5027-my pupil} a great deal , and got [her]_{5027-my pupil} to learn a little , and when the morning had advanced to noon , [I]_0-i allowed [her]_{5027-my pupil} to return to [[her]_{5027-my pupil} nurse]_{4996-her nurse} . [I]_0-i then proposed to occupy [myself]_0-i till dinner - time in drawing some little sketches for [her]_{5027-my pupil} use . As [I]_0-i was going [upstairs]_552-upstairs to fetch [my]_0-i portfolio and pencils , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} called to [me]_0-i : " [Your]_0-i morning school - hours are over now , [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} suppose , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [She]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was in [a room the folding - doors of which stood open : [I]_0-i went in when [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} addressed [me]_0-i]_{1496-a room the folding - doors of which stood open : i went in when she addressed me} . It was [a large , stately apartment]_{1497-a large , stately apartment} , with purple chairs and curtains , a Turkey carpet , walnut - panelled walls , one vast window rich in slanted glass , and a lofty ceiling , nobly moulded . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was dusting some vases of fine purple spar , which stood on a sideboard . " What [a beautiful room]_{5078-a beautiful room} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i exclaimed , as [I]_0-i looked round ; for [I]_0-i had never before seen any half so imposing . " Yes ; this is [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} have just opened the window , to let in a little air and sunshine ; for everything gets so damp in [apartments that are seldom inhabited]_{5080-apartments that are seldom inhabited} ; [the drawing - room yonder]_{5081-the drawing - room yonder} feels like [a vault]_{5082-a vault} . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [She]_{180-mrs. fairfax} pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window , and hung like it with a Tyrian - dyed curtain , now looped up . Mounting to [it]_1498-it by two broad steps , and looking through , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i caught a glimpse of [a fairy place]_{1499-a fairy place} , so bright to [my]_0-i novice - eyes appeared the view beyond . Yet [it]_1498-it was merely [a very pretty drawing - room]_{1500-a very pretty drawing - room} , and within [it]_1498-it a boudoir , both spread with white carpets , on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers ; both ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine - leaves , beneath which glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans ; while the ornaments on the pale Parisian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian glass , ruby red ; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the general blending of snow and fire . " In what order [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} keep [these rooms]_{5083-these rooms} , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! "_[0-i] said [I.]_0-i " No dust , no canvas coverings : except that the air feels chilly , one would think [they]_{5083-these rooms} were inhabited daily . "_[0-i] " Why , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , though [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's visits [here]_4312-here are rare , they are always sudden and unexpected ; and as [I]_0-i observed that it put [him]_{251-mr. rochester} out to find everything swathed up , and to have a bustle of arrangement on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arrival , [I]_0-i thought it best to keep [the rooms]_{5085-the rooms} in readiness . "_[0-i] " Is [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} [an exacting , fastidious sort of man]_{5086-an exacting , fastidious sort of man} ? "_[0-i] " Not particularly so ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} 's tastes and habits , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} expects to have things managed in conformity to them . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} like [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} generally liked ? "_[0-i] " Oh , yes ; [the family]_{5088-the family} have always been respected [here]_4312-here . [Almost all the land in [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood}]_{5090-almost all the land in this neighbourhood} , as far as [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} can see , has belonged to [the Rochesters]_{253-the rochesters} time out of mind . "_[0-i] " Well , but , leaving [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} land]_{5092-his land} out of the question , do [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} like [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} liked for [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i have no cause to do otherwise than like [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and [I]_0-i believe [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is considered [a just and liberal landlord]_{5093-a just and liberal landlord} by [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} tenants]_{5094-his tenants} : but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has never lived much amongst [them]_{5094-his tenants} . "_[0-i] " But has [he]_{251-mr. rochester} no peculiarities ? What , in short , is [his]_{251-mr. rochester} character ? "_[0-i] " Oh ! [his]_{251-mr. rochester} character is unimpeachable , [I]_0-i suppose . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is rather peculiar , perhaps : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has travelled a great deal , and seen a great deal of [the world]_{484-the world} , [I]_0-i should think . [I]_0-i dare say [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is clever , but [I]_0-i never had much conversation with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[0-i] " In what way is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} peculiar ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i do n't know - it is not easy to describe - nothing striking , but [you]_0-i feel it when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} speaks to [you]_0-i ; [you]_0-i can not be always sure whether [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is in jest or earnest , whether [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is pleased or the contrary ; [you]_0-i do n't thoroughly understand [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , in short - at least , [I]_0-i do n't : but it is of no consequence , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is [a very good master]_{5096-a very good master} . "_[0-i] This was all the account [I]_0-i got from [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} of [[her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} employer]_{1501-her employer} and [mine]_0-i . There are [people who seem to have no notion of sketching a character , or observing and describing salient points , either in persons or things]_{1502-people who seem to have no notion of sketching a character , or observing and describing salient points , either in persons or things} : [the good lady]_{1411-the good lady} evidently belonged to [this class]_{1504-this class} ; [my]_0-i queries puzzled , but did not draw [her]_{1411-the good lady} out . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} in [her]_{1411-the good lady} eyes ; [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} , [a landed proprietor]_{1506-a landed proprietor} - nothing more : [she]_{1411-the good lady} inquired and searched no further , and evidently wondered at [my]_0-i wish to gain a more definite notion of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} identity . When [we]_1507-we left [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , [she]_{1411-the good lady} proposed to show [me]_0-i over the rest of [the house]_{4322-the house} ; and [I]_0-i followed [her]_{1411-the good lady} [upstairs]_552-upstairs and [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} , admiring as [I]_0-i went ; for all was well arranged and handsome . [The large front chambers]_{5002-the large front chambers} [I]_0-i thought especially grand : and [some of [the third - storey rooms]_{1514-the third - storey rooms}]_{1513-some of the third - storey rooms} , though dark and low , were interesting from [their]_{1513-some of the third - storey rooms} air of antiquity . The furniture once appropriated to [the lower apartments]_{1515-the lower apartments} had from time to time been removed here , as fashions changed : and the imperfect light entering by [their]_{1513-some of the third - storey rooms} narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old ; chests in oak or walnut , looking , with their strange carvings of palm branches and cherubs ' heads , like types of the Hebrew ark ; rows of venerable chairs , high - backed and narrow ; stools still more antiquated , on whose cushioned tops were yet apparent traces of half - effaced embroideries , wrought by fingers that for two generations had been coffin - dust . All these relics gave to [the third storey of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall}]_{1516-the third storey of thornfield hall} the aspect of [a home of the past]_{1517-a home of the past} : [a shrine of memory]_{1518-a shrine of memory} . [I]_0-i liked the hush , the gloom , the quaintness of [these retreats]_{1519-these retreats} in the day ; but [I]_0-i by no means coveted a night 's repose on one of those wide and heavy beds : shut in , [some of]_{1520-some of} [them]_1521-them , with doors of oak ; shaded , others , with wrought old English hangings crusted with thick work , portraying effigies of strange flowers , and stranger birds , and [strangest human beings]_{1522-strangest human beings} , - all which would have looked strange , indeed , by the pallid gleam of moonlight . " Do [the servants]_{546-the servants} sleep in [these rooms]_{5083-these rooms} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " No ; [they]_{546-the servants} occupy a range of [smaller apartments]_{5099-smaller apartments} to the back ; [no one]_{593-no one} ever sleeps [here]_4312-here : [one]_4415-one would almost say that , if there were a ghost at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , this would be [[its]_{53-thornfield hall} haunt]_{5103-its haunt} . "_[0-i] " So [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} think : [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} have [no ghost]_{5104-no ghost} , then ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " None that [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ever heard of , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} returned [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , smiling . " Nor any traditions of one ? no legends or ghost stories ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} believe not . And yet it is said [the Rochesters]_{253-the rochesters} have been rather a violent than a quiet race in [their]_{253-the rochesters} time : perhaps , though , that is the reason [they]_{253-the rochesters} rest tranquilly in [their]_{253-the rochesters} graves now . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Yes - ' after life 's fitful fever [they]_{253-the rochesters} sleep well , ' "_[0-i] [I]_0-i muttered . " Where are [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} going now , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? "_[0-i] for [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was moving away . " On to the leads ; will [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} come and see the view from thence ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [I]_0-i followed still , up a very narrow staircase to [the attics]_{1523-the attics} , and thence by a ladder and through a trap - door to the roof of [the hall]_{608-the hall} . [I]_0-i was now on a level with [the crow colony]_{1525-the crow colony} , and could see into [[their]_{1525-the crow colony} nests]_{1526-their nests} . Leaning over the battlements and looking far down , [I]_0-i surveyed [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} laid out like a map : the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling [the grey base of [the mansion]_{568-the mansion}]_{1528-the grey base of the mansion} ; [the field]_{817-the field} , wide as [a park]_{1531-a park} , dotted with [its]_{817-the field} ancient timber ; the wood , dun and sere , divided by a path visibly overgrown , greener with moss than the trees were with foliage ; [the church at the gates]_{1532-the church at the gates} , [the road]_{4892-the road} , [the tranquil hills]_{1534-the tranquil hills} , all reposing in the autumn day 's sun ; the horizon bounded by a propitious sky , azure , marbled with pearly white . No feature in the scene was extraordinary , but all was pleasing . When [I]_0-i turned from [it]_1535-it and repassed the trap - door , [I]_0-i could scarcely see [my]_0-i way down the ladder ; [the attic]_{768-the attic} seemed black as [a vault]_{5082-a vault} compared with that arch of blue air to which [I]_0-i had been looking up , and to that sunlit scene of grove , [pasture , and green hill]_{1538-pasture , and green hill} , of which [the hall]_{608-the hall} was the centre , and over which [I]_0-i had been gazing with delight . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap - door ; [I]_0-i , by drift of groping , found the outlet from [the attic]_{768-the attic} , and proceeded to descend the narrow garret staircase . [I]_0-i lingered in [the long passage to which this led]_{1541-the long passage to which this led} , separating [the front and back rooms of [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey}]_{1542-the front and back rooms of the third storey} : narrow , low , and dim , with only one little window at the far end , and looking , with [its]_1535-it two rows of small black doors all shut , like a corridor in [some [Bluebeard]_{262-bluebeard} 's castle]_{1544-some bluebeard 's castle} . While [I]_0-i paced softly on , the last sound [I]_0-i expected to hear in so still a region , a laugh , struck [my]_0-i ear . It was a curious laugh ; distinct , formal , mirthless . [I]_0-i stopped : the sound ceased , only for an instant ; it began again , louder : for at first , though distinct , it was very low . It passed off in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in [every lonely chamber]_{1545-every lonely chamber} ; though it originated but in one , and [I]_0-i could have pointed out the door whence the accents issued . " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i called out : for [I]_0-i now heard [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} descending the great stairs . " Did [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} hear that loud laugh ? Who is it ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " [Some of [the servants]_{546-the servants}]_{5105-some of the servants} , very likely , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} answered : " perhaps [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Did [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} hear it ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i again inquired . " Yes , plainly : [I]_0-i often hear [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} sews in [one of [these rooms]_{5083-these rooms}]_{5107-one of these rooms} . Sometimes [Leah]_195-bessie is with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; [they]_5109-they are frequently noisy together . "_[0-i] The laugh was repeated in its low , syllabic tone , and terminated in an odd murmur . " Grace ! "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} exclaimed [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [I]_0-i really did not expect [any Grace]_{263-grace poole} to answer ; for the laugh was as tragic , as preternatural a laugh as any [I]_0-i ever heard ; and , but that it was high noon , and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied the curious cachinnation ; but that neither scene nor season favoured fear , [I]_0-i should have been superstitiously afraid . However , the event showed [me]_0-i [I]_0-i was [a fool]_{1546-a fool} for entertaining a sense even of surprise . The door nearest [me]_0-i opened , and [a servant]_{4337-a servant} came out , - [a woman of between thirty and forty]_{1548-a woman of between thirty and forty} ; a set , square - made figure , red - haired , and with a hard , plain face : any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely be conceived . " Too much noise , [Grace]_{263-grace poole} , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . " Remember directions ! "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [Grace]_{263-grace poole} curtseyed silently and went in . " [She]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is [a person [we]_1550-we have to sew and assist [Leah]_195-bessie in [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} housemaid]_{5110-a person we have to sew and assist leah in her housemaid} 's work , "_{[1549-the widow]} continued [the widow]_{1549-the widow} ; " not altogether unobjectionable in some points , but [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} does well enough . By - the - bye , how have [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} got on with [[your]_{180-mrs. fairfax} new pupil]_{5111-your new pupil} this morning ? "_{[1549-the widow]} The conversation , thus turned on [Adele]_259-adele , continued till [we]_1550-we reached [the light and cheerful region below]_{1551-the light and cheerful region below} . [Adele]_259-adele came running to meet [us]_1550-we in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , exclaiming - " Mesdames , vous etes servies ! "_[259-adele] adding , " J'ai bien faim , moi ! "_[259-adele] [We]_1550-we found dinner ready , and waiting for [us]_1550-we in [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's room]_{1553-mrs. fairfax 's room} . CHAPTER XII The promise of a smooth career , which [my]_0-i first calm introduction to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} seemed to pledge , was not belied on a longer acquaintance with [the place]_{1554-the place} and [[its]_{1554-the place} inmates]_{1555-its inmates} . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} turned out to be what [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} appeared , [a placid - tempered , kind - natured woman , of competent education and average intelligence]_{1556-a placid - tempered , kind - natured woman , of competent education and average intelligence} . [[My]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} was [a lively child , who had been spoilt and indulged]_{1558-a lively child , who had been spoilt and indulged} , and therefore was sometimes wayward ; but as [she]_{5027-my pupil} was committed entirely to [my]_0-i care , and no injudicious interference from [any quarter]_{1559-any quarter} ever thwarted [my]_0-i plans for [her]_{5027-my pupil} improvement , [she]_{5027-my pupil} soon forgot [her]_{5027-my pupil} little freaks , and became obedient and teachable . [She]_{5027-my pupil} had no great talents , no marked traits of character , no peculiar development of feeling or taste which raised [her]_{5027-my pupil} one inch above the ordinary level of childhood ; but neither had [she]_{5027-my pupil} any deficiency or vice which sunk [her]_{5027-my pupil} below it . [She]_{5027-my pupil} made reasonable progress , entertained for [me]_0-i a vivacious , though perhaps not very profound , affection ; and by [her]_{5027-my pupil} simplicity , gay prattle , and efforts to please , inspired [me]_0-i , in return , with a degree of attachment sufficient to make [us]_1560-us both content in each other 's society . This , par parenthese , will be thought cool language by [persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of]_{1561-persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of} [children]_524-children , and the duty of those charged with [their]_524-children education to conceive for [them]_524-children an idolatrous devotion : but [I]_0-i am not writing to flatter parental egotism , to echo ca nt , or prop up humbug ; [I]_0-i am merely telling the truth . [I]_0-i felt a conscientious solicitude for [Adele]_259-adele 's welfare and progress , and a quiet liking for [her]_{5027-my pupil} little self : just as [I]_0-i cherished towards [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} a thankfulness for [her]_{5027-my pupil} kindness , and a pleasure in [her]_{5027-my pupil} society proportionate to the tranquil regard [she]_{5027-my pupil} had for [me]_0-i , and the moderation of [her]_{5027-my pupil} mind and character . [Anybody]_4330-anybody may blame [me]_0-i who likes , when [I]_0-i add further , that , now and then , when [I]_0-i took a walk by [myself]_0-i in [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} ; when [I]_0-i went down to the gates and looked through them along [the road]_{4892-the road} ; or when , while [Adele]_259-adele played with [[her]_259-adele nurse]_{4996-her nurse} , and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} made jellies in [the storeroom]_{4970-the storeroom} , [I]_0-i climbed the three staircases , raised the trap - door of [the attic]_{768-the attic} , and having reached the leads , looked out afar over [sequestered field]_{1569-sequestered field} and hill , and along dim sky - line - that then [I]_0-i longed for a power of vision which might overpass that limit ; which might reach [the busy world]_{1570-the busy world} , [towns]_4524-towns , [regions full of life]_{1572-regions full of life} [I]_0-i had heard of but never seen - that then [I]_0-i desired more of practical experience than [I]_0-i possessed ; more of intercourse with [[my]_0-i kind]_{1573-my kind} , of acquaintance with variety of character , than was here within [my]_0-i reach . [I]_0-i valued what was good in [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and what was good in [Adele]_259-adele ; but [I]_0-i believed in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness , and what [I]_0-i believed in [I]_0-i wished to behold . Who blames [me]_0-i ? Many , no doubt ; and [I]_0-i shall be called discontented . [I]_0-i could not help it : the restlessness was in [my]_0-i nature ; it agitated [me]_0-i to pain sometimes . Then [my]_0-i sole relief was to walk along [the corridor of [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey}]_{1574-the corridor of the third storey} , backwards and forwards , safe in the silence and solitude of the spot , and allow [my]_0-i mind 's eye to dwell on whatever bright visions rose before it - and , certainly , they were many and glowing ; to let [my]_0-i heart be heaved by the exultant movement , which , while it swelled it in trouble , expanded it with life ; and , best of all , to open [my]_0-i inward ear to a tale that was never ended - a tale [my]_0-i imagination created , and narrated continuously ; quickened with all of incident , life , fire , feeling , that [I]_0-i desired and had not in [my]_0-i actual existence . It is in vain to say [human beings]_{754-human beings} ought to be satisfied with tranquillity : [they]_{754-human beings} must have action ; and [they]_{754-human beings} will make it if [they]_{754-human beings} can not find it . [Millions]_{4765-millions} are condemned to a stiller doom than [mine]_0-i , and [millions]_{4765-millions} are in silent revolt against [[their]_{4765-millions} lot]_{1579-their lot} . [Nobody]_4628-nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which [people earth]_{1581-people earth} . [Women]_671-women are supposed to be very calm generally : but [women]_671-women feel just as [men]_482-men feel ; [they]_671-women need exercise for [their]_671-women faculties , and a field for [their]_671-women efforts , as much as [[their]_671-women brothers]_{1585-their brothers} do ; [they]_671-women suffer from too rigid a restraint , too absolute a stagnation , precisely as [men]_482-men would suffer ; and it is narrow - minded in [[their]_671-women more privileged fellow - creatures]_{1587-their more privileged fellow - creatures} to say that [they]_671-women ought to confine [themselves]_671-women to making puddings and knitting stockings , to playing on the piano and embroidering bags . It is thoughtless to condemn [them]_671-women , or laugh at [them]_671-women , if [they]_671-women seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for [their]_671-women sex . When thus alone , [I]_0-i not unfrequently heard [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} 's laugh : the same peal , the same low , slow ha ! ha ! which , when first heard , had thrilled [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i heard , too , [her]_{263-grace poole} eccentric murmurs ; stranger than [her]_{263-grace poole} laugh . There were days when [she]_{263-grace poole} was quite silent ; but there were others when [I]_0-i could not account for the sounds [she]_{263-grace poole} made . Sometimes [I]_0-i saw [her]_{263-grace poole} : [she]_{263-grace poole} would come out of [[her]_{263-grace poole} room]_{1588-her room} with a basin , or a plate , or a tray in [her]_{263-grace poole} hand , go down to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} and shortly return , generally oh , [romantic reader]_{1590-romantic reader} , forgive [me]_0-i for telling the plain truth ! bearing a pot of porter . [Her]_{263-grace poole} appearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by [her]_{263-grace poole} oral oddities : hard - featured and staid , [she]_{263-grace poole} had no point to which interest could attach . [I]_0-i made some attempts to draw [her]_{263-grace poole} into conversation , but [she]_{263-grace poole} seemed [a person of few words]_{1591-a person of few words} : a monosyllabic reply usually cut short every effort of that sort . [The other members of the household]_{1592-the other members of the household} , viz . , [John]_{177-st. john} and [[his]_{177-st. john} wife]_{4986-his wife} , [[Leah]_195-bessie [the housemaid]_{648-the housemaid}]_{1594-leah the housemaid} , and [Sophie]_256-sophie [the French nurse]_{1596-the french nurse} , were [decent people]_{1597-decent people} ; but in no respect remarkable ; with [Sophie]_256-sophie [I]_0-i used to talk French , and sometimes [I]_0-i asked [her]_{263-grace poole} questions about [[her]_{263-grace poole} native country]_{1598-her native country} ; but [she]_{263-grace poole} was not of a descriptive or narrative turn , and generally gave such vapid and confused answers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry . October , November , [December]_264-december passed away . One afternoon in January , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had begged a holiday for [Adele]_259-adele , because [she]_259-adele had a cold ; and , as [Adele]_259-adele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded [me]_0-i how precious occasional holidays had been to [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i own childhood , [I]_0-i accorded it , deeming that [I]_0-i did well in showing pliability on the point . It was a fine , calm day , though very cold ; [I]_0-i was tired of sitting still in [the library]_{659-the library} through a whole long morning : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had just written a letter which was waiting to be posted , so [I]_0-i put on [my]_0-i bonnet and cloak and volunteered to carry it to [Hay]_51-hay ; the distance , two miles , would be a pleasant winter afternoon walk . Having seen [Adele]_259-adele comfortably seated in [her]_259-adele little chair by [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's parlour]_{1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour} fireside , and given [her]_259-adele [her]_259-adele best wax doll which [I]_0-i usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a drawer to play with , and a story - book for change of amusement ; and having replied to [her]_259-adele " Revenez bientot , ma bonne amie , ma chere Mdlle . [Jeannette]_265-janet , "_[259-adele] with a kiss [I]_0-i set out . The ground was hard , the air was still , [[my]_0-i road]_{1601-my road} was lonely ; [I]_0-i walked fast till [I]_0-i got warm , and then [I]_0-i walked slowly to enjoy and analyse the species of pleasure brooding for [me]_0-i in the hour and situation . It was three o'clock ; the church bell tolled as [I]_0-i passed under [the belfry]_{1602-the belfry} : the charm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness , in the low - gliding and pale - beaming sun . [I]_0-i was a mile from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , in [a lane noted for wild roses in summer]_{1603-a lane noted for wild roses in summer} , for nuts and blackberries in autumn , and even now possessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws , but whose best winter delight lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose . If a breath of air stirred , it made no sound here ; for there was not a holly , not an evergreen to rustle , and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as still as the white , worn stones which causewayed the middle of [the path]_{829-the path} . Far and wide , on each side , there were only [fields , where no cattle now browsed]_{1605-fields , where no cattle now browsed} ; and the little brown birds , which stirred occasionally in the hedge , looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop . [This lane]_{1606-this lane} inclined up - hill all the way to [Hay]_51-hay ; having reached the middle , [I]_0-i sat down on a stile which led thence into [a field]_{1607-a field} . Gathering [my]_0-i mantle about [me]_0-i , and sheltering [my]_0-i hands in [my]_0-i muff , [I]_0-i did not feel the cold , though it froze keenly ; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering [the causeway]_{1608-the causeway} , where a little brooklet , now congealed , had overflowed after a rapid thaw some days since . From [my]_0-i seat [I]_0-i could look down on [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : [the grey and battlemented hall]_{1609-the grey and battlemented hall} was the principal object in [the vale below [me]_0-i]_{1610-the vale below me} ; [[its]_{1609-the grey and battlemented hall} woods and dark rookery]_{1611-its woods and dark rookery} rose against the west . [I]_0-i lingered till the sun went down amongst the trees , and sank crimson and clear behind them . [I]_0-i then turned eastward . On [the hill - top above [me]_0-i]_{1612-the hill - top above me} sat the rising moon ; pale yet as a cloud , but brightening momentarily , [she]_1613-she looked over [Hay]_51-hay , which , half lost in trees , sent up a blue smoke from [its]_51-hay few chimneys : [it]_51-hay was yet a mile distant , but in the absolute hush [I]_0-i could hear plainly its thin murmurs of life . [My]_0-i ear , too , felt the flow of currents ; in what dales and [depths]_1614-depths [I]_0-i could not tell : but there were [many hills beyond [Hay]_51-hay]_{1615-many hills beyond hay} , and doubtless many becks threading [their]_{1615-many hills beyond hay} passes . That evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of [the nearest streams]_{1616-the nearest streams} , the sough of the most remote . A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisperings , at once so far away and so clear : a positive tramp , tramp , a metallic clatter , which effaced the soft wave - wanderings ; as , in a picture , the solid mass of a crag , or the rough boles of a great oak , drawn in dark and strong on the foreground , efface the aerial distance of [azure hill]_{1617-azure hill} , sunny horizon , and blended clouds where tint melts into tint . The din was on [the causeway]_{1608-the causeway} : a horse was coming ; the windings of [the lane]_{1619-the lane} yet hid it , but it approached . [I]_0-i was just leaving the stile ; yet , as the path was narrow , [I]_0-i sat still to let it go by . In those days [I]_0-i was young , and all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted [my]_0-i mind : the memories of nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish ; and when they recurred , [maturing youth]_{1620-maturing youth} added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what childhood could give . As this horse approached , and as [I]_0-i watched for it to appear through the dusk , [I]_0-i remembered certain of [Bessie]_195-bessie 's tales , wherein figured a [North - of -]_{55-north - of -} [England]_21-england spirit called a " Gytrash , "_[195-bessie] which , in the form of horse , mule , or large dog , haunted solitary ways , and sometimes came upon [belated travellers]_{586-belated travellers} , as this horse was now coming upon [me]_0-i . It was very near , but not yet in sight ; when , in addition to the tramp , tramp , [I]_0-i heard a rush under the hedge , and close down by the hazel stems glided a great dog , whose black and white colour made [him]_1622-him a distinct object against the trees . It was exactly one form of [Bessie]_195-bessie 's Gytrash - a lion - like creature with long hair and a huge head : it passed [me]_0-i , however , quietly enough ; not staying to look up , with strange pretercanine eyes , in [my]_0-i face , as [I]_0-i half expected it would . The horse followed , - a tall steed , and on its back [a rider]_{1623-a rider} . [The man]_{1375-the man} , [the human being]_{1625-the human being} , broke the spell at once . Nothing ever rode [the Gytrash]_{56-the gytrash} : it was always alone ; and [goblins]_1626-goblins , to [my]_0-i notions , though [they]_1626-goblins might tenant the dumb carcasses of beasts , could scarce covet shelter in the commonplace human form . No [Gytrash]_{56-the gytrash} was this , - only [a traveller taking the short cut to [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{1627-a traveller taking the short cut to millcote} . [He]_{1627-a traveller taking the short cut to millcote} passed , and [I]_0-i went on ; a few steps , and [I]_0-i turned : a sliding sound and an exclamation of " What the deuce is to do now ? "_[0-i] and a clattering tumble , arrested [my]_0-i attention . [Man]_4667-man and horse were down ; [they]_1629-they had slipped on the sheet of ice which glazed [the causeway]_{1608-the causeway} . [The dog]_{1631-the dog} came bounding back , and seeing [[his]_{1631-the dog} master]_{701-his master} in a predicament , and hearing the horse groan , barked till [the evening hills]_{1633-the evening hills} echoed the sound , which was deep in proportion to [his]_{1631-the dog} magnitude . [He]_{1631-the dog} snuffed round the prostrate group , and then [he]_{1631-the dog} ran up to [me]_0-i ; it was all [he]_{1631-the dog} could do , - there was no other help at hand to summon . [I]_0-i obeyed [him]_{1631-the dog} , and walked down to [the traveller]_{1634-the traveller} , by this time struggling [himself]_{1631-the dog} free of [his]_{1631-the dog} steed . [His]_{1631-the dog} efforts were so vigorous , [I]_0-i thought [he]_{1631-the dog} could not be much hurt ; but [I]_0-i asked [him]_{1631-the dog} the question - " Are [you]_{1631-the dog} injured , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [he]_{1631-the dog} was swearing , but am not certain ; however , [he]_{1631-the dog} was pronouncing some formula which prevented [him]_{1631-the dog} from replying to [me]_0-i directly . " Can [I]_0-i do anything ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked again . " [You]_0-i must just stand on one side , "_{[1631-the dog]} [he]_{1631-the dog} answered as [he]_{1631-the dog} rose , first to [his]_{1631-the dog} knees , and then to [his]_{1631-the dog} feet . [I]_0-i did ; whereupon began a heaving , stamping , clattering process , accompanied by a barking and baying which removed [me]_0-i effectually some yards ' distance ; but [I]_0-i would not be driven quite away till [I]_0-i saw the event . This was finally fortunate ; the horse was re - established , and the dog was silenced with a " Down , [Pilot]_267-pilot ! "_{[1634-the traveller]} [The traveller]_{1634-the traveller} now , stooping , felt [his]_{1631-the dog} foot and leg , as if trying whether they were sound ; apparently something ailed [them]_{1634-the traveller} , for [he]_{1631-the dog} halted to the stile whence [I]_0-i had just risen , and sat down . [I]_0-i was in the mood for being useful , or at least officious , [I]_0-i think , for [I]_0-i now drew near [him]_{1631-the dog} again . " If [you]_{1631-the dog} are hurt , and want help , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i can fetch some one either from [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} or from [Hay]_51-hay . "_[0-i] " Thank [you]_{1631-the dog} : [I]_{1631-the dog} shall do : [I]_{1631-the dog} have no broken bones , - only a sprain ; "_{[1631-the dog]} and again [he]_{1631-the dog} stood up and tried [his]_{1631-the dog} foot , but the result extorted an involuntary " Ugh ! "_[0-i] Something of daylight still lingered , and the moon was waxing bright : [I]_0-i could see [him]_{1631-the dog} plainly . [His]_{1631-the dog} figure was enveloped in a riding cloak , fur collared and steel clasped ; its details were not apparent , but [I]_0-i traced the general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest . [He]_{1631-the dog} had a dark face , with stern features and a heavy brow ; [his]_{1631-the dog} eyes and gathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now ; [he]_{1631-the dog} was past youth , but had not reached middle - age ; perhaps [he]_{1631-the dog} might be thirty - five . [I]_0-i felt no fear of [him]_{1631-the dog} , and but little shyness . Had [he]_{1631-the dog} been [a handsome , heroic - looking young gentleman]_{1636-a handsome , heroic - looking young gentleman} , [I]_0-i should not have dared to stand thus questioning [him]_{1631-the dog} against [his]_{1631-the dog} will , and offering [my]_0-i services unasked . [I]_0-i had hardly ever seen [a handsome youth]_{1637-a handsome youth} ; never in [my]_0-i life spoken to one . [I]_0-i had a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty , elegance , gallantry , fascination ; but had [I]_0-i met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape , [I]_0-i should have known instinctively that [they]_1638-they neither had nor could have sympathy with anything in [me]_0-i , and should have shunned [them]_1638-they as one would fire , lightning , or anything else that is bright but antipathetic . If even [this stranger]_{1639-this stranger} had smiled and been good - humoured to [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i addressed [him]_{1639-this stranger} ; if [he]_{1639-this stranger} had put off [my]_0-i offer of assistance gaily and with thanks , [I]_0-i should have gone on [my]_0-i way and not felt any vocation to renew inquiries : but the frown , the roughness of [the traveller]_{1634-the traveller} , set [me]_0-i at [my]_0-i ease : [I]_0-i retained [my]_0-i station when [he]_{1639-this stranger} waved to [me]_0-i to go , and announced - " [I]_{1639-this stranger} can not think of leaving [you]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , at so late an hour , in [this solitary lane]_{5115-this solitary lane} , till [I]_{1639-this stranger} see [you]_0-i are fit to mount [your]_0-i horse . "_{[1639-this stranger]} [He]_{1639-this stranger} looked at [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i said this ; [he]_{1639-this stranger} had hardly turned [his]_{1639-this stranger} eyes in [my]_0-i direction before . " [I]_{1639-this stranger} should think [you]_0-i ought to be at [home]_509-home [yourself]_0-i , "_{[1639-this stranger]} said [he]_{1639-this stranger} , " if [you]_0-i have [a home in [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood}]_{5117-a home in this neighbourhood} : where do [you]_0-i come from ? "_{[1639-this stranger]} " From just below ; and [I]_{1639-this stranger} am not at all afraid of being out late when it is moonlight : [I]_{1639-this stranger} will run over to [Hay]_51-hay for [you]_0-i with pleasure , if [you]_0-i wish it : indeed , [I]_{1639-this stranger} am going [there]_4426-there to post a letter . "_{[1639-this stranger]} " [You]_{1639-this stranger} live just below - do [you]_{1639-this stranger} mean at [that house]_{5120-that house} with the battlements ? "_{[1639-this stranger]} pointing to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , on which the moon cast a hoary gleam , bringing it out distinct and pale from [the woods]_{662-the woods} that , by contrast with the western sky , now seemed one mass of shadow . " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1642-i] " Whose house is [it]_{5120-that house} ? "_[1642-i] " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's . "_[1642-i] " Do [you]_{1639-this stranger} know [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[1642-i] " No , [I]_1642-i have never seen [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[1642-i] " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is not resident , then ? "_[1642-i] " No . "_[1642-i] " Can [you]_{1639-this stranger} tell [me]_1642-i where [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is ? "_[1642-i] " [I]_1642-i can not . "_[1642-i] " [You]_0-i are not [a servant at [the hall]_{608-the hall}]_{5122-a servant at the hall} , of course . [You]_0-i are - "_[1642-i] [He]_1642-i stopped , ran [his]_1642-i eye over [my]_0-i dress , which , as usual , was quite simple : a black merino cloak , a black beaver bonnet ; neither of them half fine enough for [a lady's - maid]_{1643-a lady's - maid} . [He]_1642-i seemed puzzled to decide what [I]_0-i was ; [I]_0-i helped [him]_1642-i . " [I]_1642-i am [the governess]_{1491-the governess} . "_[1642-i] " Ah , [the governess]_{1491-the governess} ! "_[1642-i] [he]_1642-i repeated ; " deuce take [me]_1642-i , if [I]_1642-i had not forgotten ! [The governess]_{1491-the governess} ! "_[1642-i] and again [my]_0-i raiment underwent scrutiny . In two minutes [he]_1642-i rose from the stile : [his]_1642-i face expressed pain when [he]_1642-i tried to move . " [I]_1642-i can not commission [you]_0-i to fetch help , "_[1642-i] [he]_1642-i said ; " but [you]_0-i may help [me]_1642-i a little [yourself]_0-i , if [you]_0-i will be so kind . "_[1642-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1642-i] " [You]_0-i have not an umbrella that [I]_1642-i can use as a stick ? "_[1642-i] " No . "_[1642-i] " Try to get hold of [my]_1642-i horse 's bridle and lead [him]_5128-him to [me]_1642-i : [you]_0-i are not afraid ? "_[1642-i] [I]_0-i should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone , but when told to do it , [I]_0-i was disposed to obey . [I]_0-i put down [my]_0-i muff on the stile , and went up to the tall steed ; [I]_0-i endeavoured to catch the bridle , but it was a spirited thing , and would not let [me]_0-i come near its head ; [I]_0-i made effort on effort , though in vain : meantime , [I]_0-i was mortally afraid of its trampling fore - feet . [The traveller]_{1634-the traveller} waited and watched for some time , and at last [he]_{1634-the traveller} laughed . " [I]_{1634-the traveller} see , "_{[1634-the traveller]} [he]_{1634-the traveller} said , " [the mountain]_{5129-the mountain} will never be brought to [Mahomet]_57-mahomet , so all [you]_0-i can do is to aid [Mahomet]_57-mahomet to go to [the mountain]_{5129-the mountain} ; [I]_{1634-the traveller} must beg of [you]_0-i to come here . "_{[1634-the traveller]} [I]_0-i came . " Excuse [me]_{1634-the traveller} , "_{[1634-the traveller]} [he]_{1634-the traveller} continued : " necessity compels [me]_{1634-the traveller} to make [you]_0-i useful . "_{[1634-the traveller]} [He]_{1634-the traveller} laid a heavy hand on [my]_0-i shoulder , and leaning on [me]_0-i with some stress , limped to [his]_{1634-the traveller} horse . Having once caught the bridle , [he]_{1634-the traveller} mastered it directly and sprang to [his]_{1634-the traveller} saddle ; grimacing grimly as [he]_{1634-the traveller} made the effort , for it wrenched [his]_{1634-the traveller} sprain . " Now , "_{[1634-the traveller]} said [he]_{1634-the traveller} , releasing [his]_{1634-the traveller} under lip from a hard bite , " just hand [me]_{1634-the traveller} [my]_{1634-the traveller} whip ; it lies there under the hedge . "_{[1634-the traveller]} [I]_0-i sought it and found it . " Thank [you]_{1634-the traveller} ; now make haste with the letter to Hay , and return as fast as [you]_{1634-the traveller} can . "_[0-i] A touch of a spurred heel made [his]_{1634-the traveller} horse first start and rear , and then bound away ; the dog rushed in [his]_{1634-the traveller} traces ; all three vanished , " Like heath that , in [the wilderness]_{5131-the wilderness} , The wild wind whirls away . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i took up [my]_0-i muff and walked on . The incident had occurred and was gone for [me]_0-i : it WAS an incident of no moment , no romance , no interest in a sense ; yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life . [My]_0-i help had been needed and claimed ; [I]_0-i had given it : [I]_0-i was pleased to have done something ; trivial , transitory though the deed was , it was yet an active thing , and [I]_0-i was weary of an existence all passive . The new face , too , was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory ; and it was dissimilar to all the others hanging there : firstly , because it was masculine ; and , secondly , because it was dark , strong , and stern . [I]_0-i had it still before [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i entered [Hay]_51-hay , and slipped the letter into [the post- office]_{1645-the post- office} ; [I]_0-i saw it as [I]_0-i walked fast down - hill all the way [home]_509-home . When [I]_0-i came to [the stile]_{1647-the stile} , [I]_0-i stopped a minute , looked round and listened , with an idea that a horse 's hoofs might ring on [the causeway]_{1608-the causeway} again , and that [a rider in a cloak]_{1649-a rider in a cloak} , and a Gytrash - like Newfoundland dog , might be again apparent : [I]_0-i saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before [me]_0-i , rising up still and straight to meet the moonbeams ; [I]_0-i heard only the faintest waft of wind roaming fitful among the trees round [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , a mile distant ; and when [I]_0-i glanced down in the direction of the murmur , [my]_0-i eye , traversing [the hall]_{608-the hall} - front , caught a light kindling in a window : it reminded [me]_0-i that [I]_0-i was late , and [I]_0-i hurried on . [I]_0-i did not like re - entering [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . To pass [its]_{43-thornfield} threshold was to return to stagnation ; to cross [the silent hall]_{1651-the silent hall} , to ascend the darksome staircase , to seek [[my]_0-i own lonely little room]_{1652-my own lonely little room} , and then to meet [tranquil Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and spend the long winter evening with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} only , was to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by [my]_0-i walk , - to slip again over [my]_0-i faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform and too still existence ; of an existence whose very privileges of security and ease [I]_0-i was becoming incapable of appreciating . What good it would have done [me]_0-i at that time to have been tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling life , and to have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for the calm amidst which [I]_0-i now repined ! Yes , just as much good as it would do [a man tired of sitting still in a " too easy chair "_[1654-his] to take a long walk]_{1653-a man tired of sitting still in a " too easy chair " to take a long walk} : and just as natural was the wish to stir , under [my]_0-i circumstances , as it would be under [his]_1654-his . [I]_0-i lingered at the gates ; [I]_0-i lingered on [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} ; [I]_0-i paced backwards and forwards on the pavement ; the shutters of the glass door were closed ; [I]_0-i could not see into the interior ; and both [my]_0-i eyes and spirit seemed drawn from [the gloomy house]_{1656-the gloomy house} - from [the grey - hollow filled with rayless cells]_{1657-the grey - hollow filled with rayless cells} , as it appeared to [me]_0-i - to that sky expanded before [me]_0-i , - [a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud]_{1658-a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud} ; the moon ascending [it]_{1658-a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud} in solemn march ; [her]_1659-her orb seeming to look up as [she]_1659-her left [the hill - tops]_{1660-the hill - tops} , from behind which [she]_1659-her had come , far and farther below [her]_1659-her , and aspired to the zenith , midnight dark in [its]_1661-its fathomless depth and measureless distance ; and for those trembling stars that followed [her]_1659-her course ; they made [my]_0-i heart tremble , [my]_0-i veins glow when [I]_0-i viewed them . Little things recall [us]_1662-us to [earth]_478-earth ; the clock struck in [the hall]_{608-the hall} ; that sufficed ; [I]_0-i turned from moon and stars , opened a side - door , and went in . [The hall]_{608-the hall} was not dark , nor yet was [it]_{608-the hall} lit , only by the high - hung bronze lamp ; a warm glow suffused both [it]_{608-the hall} and the lower steps of the oak staircase . This ruddy shine issued from [the great dining - room]_{1666-the great dining - room} , whose two - leaved door stood open , and showed a genial fire in the grate , glancing on marble hearth and brass fire - irons , and revealing purple draperies and polished furniture , in the most pleasant radiance . It revealed , too , [a group near the mantelpiece]_{1667-a group near the mantelpiece} : [I]_0-i had scarcely caught it , and scarcely become aware of a cheerful mingling of voices , amongst which [I]_0-i seemed to distinguish the tones of [Adele]_259-adele , when the door closed . [I]_0-i hastened to [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's room]_{1553-mrs. fairfax 's room} ; there was a fire there too , but no candle , and no [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . Instead , all alone , sitting upright on the rug , and gazing with gravity at the blaze , [I]_0-i beheld a great black and white long - haired dog , just like the Gytrash of [the lane]_{1619-the lane} . It was so like it that [I]_0-i went forward and said - " [Pilot]_267-pilot "_[0-i] and the thing got up and came to [me]_0-i and snuffed [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i caressed [him]_1670-he , and [he]_1670-he wagged [his]_1670-he great tail ; but [he]_1670-he looked [an eerie creature to be alone with]_{1671-an eerie creature to be alone with} , and [I]_0-i could not tell whence [he]_1670-he had come . [I]_0-i rang the bell , for [I]_0-i wanted a candle ; and [I]_0-i wanted , too , to get an account of [this visitant]_{1672-this visitant} . [Leah]_195-bessie entered . " What dog is this ? "_[195-bessie] " [He]_1670-he came with [master]_4335-master . "_[195-bessie] " With whom ? "_[195-bessie] " With [master]_4335-master - [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is just arrived . "_[195-bessie] " Indeed ! and is [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes , and [Miss Adele]_259-adele ; [they]_5134-they are in [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , and [John]_{177-st. john} is gone for [a surgeon]_{5136-a surgeon} ; for [master]_4335-master has had an accident ; [his]_4335-master horse fell and [his]_4335-master ankle is sprained . "_[195-bessie] " Did the horse fall in [Hay Lane]_{58-hay lane} ? "_[195-bessie] " Yes , coming down - hill ; it slipped on some ice . "_[195-bessie] " Ah ! Bring [me]_195-bessie a candle will [you]_195-bessie [Leah]_195-bessie ? "_[195-bessie] [Leah]_195-bessie brought it ; [she]_195-bessie entered , followed by [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , who repeated the news ; adding that [Mr. Carter]_270-carter [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} was come , and was now with [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : then [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} hurried out to give orders about tea , and [I]_0-i went [upstairs]_552-upstairs to take off [my]_0-i things . CHAPTER XIII [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , it seems , by [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} 's orders , went to bed early that night ; nor did [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rise soon next morning . When [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did come down , it was to attend to business : [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} agent]_{1676-his agent} and [some of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} tenants]_{5094-his tenants}]_{1677-some of his tenants} were arrived , and waiting to speak with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [Adele]_259-adele and [I]_0-i had now to vacate [the library]_{659-the library} : it would be in daily requisition as [a reception - room for [callers]_1681-callers]_{1680-a reception - room for callers} . A fire was lit in [an apartment]_{1682-an apartment} [upstairs]_552-upstairs , and there [I]_0-i carried [our]_1684-our books , and arranged it for [the future schoolroom]_{1685-the future schoolroom} . [I]_0-i discerned in the course of the morning that [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} was [a changed place]_{1686-a changed place} : no longer silent as [a church]_{1389-a church} , [it]_{53-thornfield hall} echoed every hour or two to a knock at the door , or a clang of the bell ; steps , too , often traversed [the hall]_{608-the hall} , and new voices spoke in different keys below ; a rill from [the outer world]_{4877-the outer world} was flowing through it ; it had [a master]_{4710-a master} : for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i liked it better . [Adele]_259-adele was not easy to teach that day ; [she]_259-adele could not apply : [she]_259-adele kept running to the door and looking over the banisters to see if [she]_259-adele could get a glimpse of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; then [she]_259-adele coined pretexts to go [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} , in order , as [I]_0-i shrewdly suspected , to visit [the library]_{659-the library} , where [I]_0-i knew [she]_259-adele was not wanted ; then , when [I]_0-i got a little angry , and made [her]_259-adele sit still , [she]_259-adele continued to talk incessantly of [her]_259-adele " ami , [Monsieur Edouard Fairfax DE Rochester]_{271-fairfax rochester} , "_[259-adele] as [she]_259-adele dubbed [him]_{251-mr. rochester} [I]_0-i had not before heard [his]_{251-mr. rochester} prenomens , and to conjecture what presents [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had brought [her]_259-adele : for it appears [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had intimated the night before , that when [his]_{251-mr. rochester} luggage came from [Millcote]_44-millcote , there would be found amongst it a little box in whose contents [she]_259-adele had an interest . " Et cela doit signifier , "_[259-adele] said [she]_259-adele , " qu'il y aura le dedans un cadeau pour moi , et peut - etre pour vous aussi , mademoiselle . Monsieur a parle de vous : il m'a demande le nom de [ma gouvernante]_{5138-ma gouvernante} , et si elle n'etait pas une petite personne , assez mince et un peu pale . J'ai dit qu'oui : car c'est vrai , n'est - ce pas , mademoiselle ? "_[259-adele] [I]_0-i and [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} dined as usual in [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's parlour]_{1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour} ; the afternoon was wild and snowy , and [we]_1695-we passed it in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} . At dark [I]_0-i allowed [Adele]_259-adele to put away books and work , and to run [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} ; for , from the comparative silence below , and from the cessation of appeals to the door - bell , [I]_0-i conjectured that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was now at liberty . Left alone , [I]_0-i walked to the window ; but nothing was to be seen thence : twilight and snowflakes together thickened the air , and hid the very shrubs on [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} . [I]_0-i let down the curtain and went back to [the fireside]_{1699-the fireside} . In the clear embers [I]_0-i was tracing a view , not unlike a picture [I]_0-i remembered to have seen of [the castle of [Heidelberg]_{59-heidelberg}]_{1700-the castle of heidelberg} , on [the Rhine]_{60-the rhine} , when [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} came in , breaking up by [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} entrance the fiery mosaic [I]_0-i had been piercing together , and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts that were beginning to throng on [my]_0-i solitude . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would be glad if [you]_0-i and [[your]_0-i pupil]_{5139-your pupil} would take tea with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} this evening , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has been so much engaged all day that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could not ask to see [you]_0-i before . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " When is [his]_{251-mr. rochester} tea - time ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i inquired . " Oh , at six o'clock : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} keeps early hours in [the country]_{4525-the country} . [You]_0-i had better change [your]_0-i frock now ; [I]_0-i will go with [you]_0-i and fasten it . Here is a candle . "_[0-i] " Is it necessary to change [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} frock ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Yes , [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had better : [I]_0-i always dress for the evening when [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is [here]_4312-here . "_[0-i] This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately ; however , [I]_0-i repaired to [[my]_0-i room]_{4787-my room} , and , with [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's aid , replaced [my]_0-i black stuff dress by one of black silk ; the best and the only additional one [I]_0-i had , except one of light grey , which , in [my]_0-i Lowood notions of the toilette , [I]_0-i thought too fine to be worn , except on first - rate occasions . " [You]_0-i want a brooch , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [I]_0-i had a single little pearl ornament which [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} gave [me]_0-i as a parting keepsake : [I]_0-i put it on , and then [we]_1702-we went [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} . Unused as [I]_0-i was to [strangers]_{1704-strangers} , it was rather a trial to appear thus formally summoned in [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's presence . [I]_0-i let [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} precede [me]_0-i into [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , and kept in [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} shade as [we]_1702-we crossed [that apartment]_{1706-that apartment} ; and , passing the arch , whose curtain was now dropped , entered [the elegant recess beyond]_{1707-the elegant recess beyond} . Two wax candles stood lighted on the table , and two on the mantelpiece ; basking in the light and heat of a superb fire , lay [Pilot]_267-pilot - [Adele]_259-adele knelt near [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Half reclined on a couch appeared [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} foot supported by the cushion ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was looking at [Adele]_259-adele and the dog : the fire shone full on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face . [I]_0-i knew [my]_0-i traveller with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} broad and jetty eyebrows ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} square forehead , made squarer by the horizontal sweep of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} black hair . [I]_0-i recognised [his]_{251-mr. rochester} decisive nose , more remarkable for character than beauty ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} full nostrils , denoting , [I]_0-i thought , choler ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} grim mouth , chin , and jaw - yes , all three were very grim , and no mistake . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} shape , now divested of cloak , [I]_0-i perceived harmonised in squareness with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} physiognomy : [I]_0-i suppose it was [a good figure in the athletic sense of the term]_{1708-a good figure in the athletic sense of the term} - broad chested and thin flanked , though neither tall nor graceful . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} must have been aware of the entrance of [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} and [myself]_0-i ; but it appeared [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not in the mood to notice [us]_1709-us , for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} never lifted [his]_{251-mr. rochester} head as [we]_1709-us approached . " Here is [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [sir]_4374-sir , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , in [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} quiet way . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} bowed , still not taking [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eyes from the group of the dog and [child]_4354-child . " Let [Miss Eyre]_146-jane be seated , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} : and there was something in the forced stiff bow , in the impatient yet formal tone , which seemed further to express , " What the deuce is it to [me]_0-i whether [Miss Eyre]_146-jane be [there]_4426-there or not ? At this moment [I]_0-i am not disposed to accost [her]_146-jane . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i sat down quite disembarrassed . A reception of finished politeness would probably have confused [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i could not have returned or repaid it by answering grace and elegance on [my]_0-i part ; but harsh caprice laid [me]_0-i under no obligation ; on the contrary , a decent quiescence , under the freak of manner , gave [me]_0-i the advantage . Besides , the eccentricity of the proceeding was piquant : [I]_0-i felt interested to see how [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would go on . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} went on as a statue would , that is , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} neither spoke nor moved . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} seemed to think it necessary that [some one]_{637-some one} should be amiable , and [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} began to talk . Kindly , as usual - and , as usual , rather trite - [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} condoled with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} on the pressure of business [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had had all day ; on the annoyance it must have been to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} with that painful sprain : then [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} commended [his]_{251-mr. rochester} patience and perseverance in going through with it . " [Madam]_4457-madam , [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} should like some tea , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} was the sole rejoinder [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} got . [She]_{180-mrs. fairfax} hastened to ring the bell ; and when the tray came , [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} proceeded to arrange the cups , spoons , c. , with assiduous celerity . [I]_0-i and [Adele]_259-adele went to the table ; but [the master]_{540-the master} did not leave [his]_{540-the master} couch . " Will [you]_{251-mr. rochester} hand [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's cup ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} to [me]_0-i ; " [Adele]_259-adele might perhaps spill it . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [I]_0-i did as requested . As [he]_{251-mr. rochester} took the cup from [my]_0-i hand , [Adele]_259-adele , thinking the moment propitious for making a request in [my]_0-i favour , cried out - " N'est - ce pas , [monsieur]_{5146-monsieur} , qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans votre petit coffre ? "_[259-adele] " Who talks of cadeaux ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} gruffly . " Did [you]_0-i expect a present , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ? Are [you]_0-i fond of presents ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} searched [my]_0-i face with eyes that [I]_0-i saw were dark , irate , and piercing . " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} hardly know , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have little experience of them : they are generally thought pleasant things . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Generally thought ? But what do [YOU]_4374-sir think ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should be obliged to take time , [sir]_4374-sir , before [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could give [you]_4374-sir an answer worthy of [your]_4374-sir acceptance : a present has many faces to it , has it not ? and [one]_4415-one should consider all , before pronouncing an opinion as to its nature . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [you]_4374-sir are not so unsophisticated as [Adele]_259-adele : [she]_259-adele demands a ' cadeau , ' clamorously , the moment [she]_259-adele sees [me]_{251-mr. rochester} : [you]_4374-sir beat about the bush . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Because [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have less confidence in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} deserts than [Adele]_259-adele has : [she]_259-adele can prefer the claim of old acquaintance , and the right too of custom ; for [she]_259-adele says [you]_4374-sir have always been in the habit of giving [her]_259-adele playthings ; but if [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had to make out a case [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should be puzzled , since [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} , and have done nothing to entitle [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to an acknowledgment . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Oh , do n't fall back on over - modesty ! [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have examined [Adele]_259-adele , and find [you]_4374-sir have taken great pains with [her]_259-adele : [she]_259-adele is not bright , [she]_259-adele has no talents ; yet in a short time [she]_259-adele has made much improvement . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Sir]_4374-sir , [you]_4374-sir have now given [me]_{251-mr. rochester} [my]_{251-mr. rochester} ' cadeau ; ' [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am obliged to [you]_4374-sir : it is [the meed teachers most covet - praise of [[their]_{5152-the meed teachers most covet - praise of their pupils ' progress} pupils]_{5153-their pupils} ' progress]_{5152-the meed teachers most covet - praise of their pupils ' progress} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Humph ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} took [his]_{251-mr. rochester} tea in silence . " Come to the fire , "_{[540-the master]} said [the master]_{540-the master} , when the tray was taken away , and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had settled into a corner with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knitting ; while [Adele]_259-adele was leading [me]_0-i by the hand round [the room]_{535-the room} , showing [me]_0-i the beautiful books and ornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres . [We]_1715-we obeyed , as in duty bound ; [Adele]_259-adele wanted to take a seat on [my]_0-i knee , but [she]_259-adele was ordered to amuse [herself]_259-adele with [Pilot]_267-pilot . " [You]_4374-sir have been resident in [[my]_259-adele house]_{4395-my house} three months ? "_[259-adele] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[259-adele] " And [you]_4374-sir came from - ? "_[259-adele] " From [Lowood school]_{5156-lowood school} , in -shire . "_[259-adele] " Ah ! a charitable concern . How long were [you]_4374-sir [there]_4426-there ? "_[259-adele] " Eight years . "_[259-adele] " Eight years ! [you]_4374-sir must be tenacious of life . [I]_259-adele thought half the time in [such a place]_{5158-such a place} would have done up any constitution ! No wonder [you]_4374-sir have rather the look of [another world]_{634-another world} . [I]_259-adele marvelled where [you]_4374-sir had got that sort of face . When [you]_4374-sir came on [me]_259-adele in [Hay Lane]_{58-hay lane} last night , [I]_259-adele thought unaccountably of fairy tales , and had half a mind to demand whether [you]_4374-sir had bewitched [my]_259-adele horse : [I]_259-adele am not sure yet . Who are [[your]_4374-sir parents]_{879-your parents} ? "_[259-adele] " [I]_259-adele have none . "_[259-adele] " Nor ever had , [I]_259-adele suppose : do [you]_4374-sir remember [them]_{879-your parents} ? "_[259-adele] " No . "_[259-adele] " [I]_259-adele thought not . And so [you]_4374-sir were waiting for [[your]_4374-sir people]_{5161-your people} when [you]_4374-sir sat on [that stile]_{5162-that stile} ? "_[259-adele] " For whom , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[259-adele] " For [the men in green]_{5164-the men in green} : it was a proper moonlight evening for [them]_{5164-the men in green} . Did [I]_0-i break through one of [your]_4374-sir rings , that [you]_4374-sir spread that damned ice on [the causeway]_{1608-the causeway} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head . " [The men in green]_{5164-the men in green} all forsook [England]_21-england a hundred years ago , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , speaking as seriously as [he]_1716-he had done . " And not even in [Hay Lane]_{5167-hay lane} , or [the fields about]_{5168-the fields about} [it]_{5167-hay lane} , could [you]_4374-sir find a trace of them . [I]_0-i do n't think either summer or harvest , or winter moon , will ever shine on [their]_{5164-the men in green} revels more . "_[0-i] [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had dropped [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knitting , and , with raised eyebrows , seemed wondering what sort of talk this was . " Well , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} resumed [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , " if [you]_4374-sir disown [parents]_5169-parents , [you]_4374-sir must have some sort of kinsfolk : [uncles]_5170-uncles and [aunts]_5171-aunts ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " No ; none that [I]_0-i ever saw . "_[0-i] " And [[your]_4374-sir home]_{5172-your home} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have none . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Where do [[your]_4374-sir brothers]_{5173-your brothers} and [sisters]_545-sisters live ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i have [no brothers]_{5175-no brothers} or [sisters]_545-sisters . "_[0-i] " Who recommended [you]_4374-sir to come here ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_0-i advertised , and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} answered [my]_0-i advertisement . "_[0-i] " Yes , "_{[1411-the good lady]} said [the good lady]_{1411-the good lady} , who now knew what ground [we]_1718-we were upon , " and [I]_{1411-the good lady} am daily thankful for the choice [Providence]_{272-providence} led [me]_{1411-the good lady} to make . [Miss Eyre]_146-jane has been [an invaluable companion to [me]_{1411-the good lady}]_{5177-an invaluable companion to me} , and [a kind and careful teacher]_{5178-a kind and careful teacher} to [Adele]_259-adele . "_{[1411-the good lady]} " Do n't trouble [yourself]_{251-mr. rochester} to give [her]_146-jane a character , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} returned [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : " eulogiums will not bias [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} shall judge for [myself]_{251-mr. rochester} . [She]_146-jane began by felling [my]_{251-mr. rochester} horse . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Sir]_4374-sir ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . " [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} have to thank [her]_146-jane for this sprain . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [The widow]_{1549-the widow} looked bewildered . " [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , have [you]_146-jane ever lived in [a town]_{5180-a town} ? "_{[1549-the widow]} " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Have [you]_146-jane seen much society ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " None but [the pupils and [teachers of Lowood]_{5183-teachers of lowood}]_{5182-the pupils and teachers of lowood} , and now [the inmates of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{5184-the inmates of thornfield} . "_{[1549-the widow]} " Have [you]_146-jane read much ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Only such books as came in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} way ; and they have not been numerous or very learned . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [You]_146-jane have lived the life of [a nun]_{5185-a nun} : no doubt [you]_146-jane are well drilled in religious forms ; - [Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , who [I]_{1549-the widow} understand [directs Lowood]_25-lowood , is [a parson]_{5186-a parson} , is [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} not ? "_{[1549-the widow]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And [[you]_146-jane girls]_{5188-you girls} probably worshipped [him]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , as [a convent full of [religieuses]_{5190-religieuses} would worship [[their]_{5189-a convent full of religieuses would worship their director} director]_{5191-their director}]_{5189-a convent full of religieuses would worship their director} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Oh , no . "_{[1549-the widow]} " [You]_146-jane are very cool ! No ! What ! [a novice]_{5192-a novice} not worship [[her]_{5192-a novice} priest]_{5193-her priest} ! That sounds blasphemous . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} disliked [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} ; and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was not alone in the feeling . [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} is [a harsh man]_{5194-a harsh man} ; at once pompous and meddling ; [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} cut off [our]_5195-us hair ; and for economy 's sake bought [us]_5195-us bad needles and thread , with which [we]_5195-us could hardly sew . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " That was very false economy , "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} remarked [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , who now again caught the drift of the dialogue . " And was that the head and front of [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} offending ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} demanded [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " [He]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} starved [us]_5195-us when [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} had the sole superintendence of the provision department , before the committee was appointed ; and [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} bored [us]_5195-us with long lectures once a week , and with evening readings from books of [his]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} own inditing , about sudden deaths and judgments , which made [us]_5195-us afraid to go to bed . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " What age were [you]_0-i when [you]_0-i went to [Lowood]_25-lowood ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " About ten . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And [you]_0-i stayed [there]_4426-there eight years : [you]_0-i are now , then , eighteen ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i assented . " Arithmetic , [you]_0-i see , is useful ; without its aid , [I]_0-i should hardly have been able to guess [your]_0-i age . It is a point difficult to fix where the features and countenance are so much at variance as in [your]_0-i case . And now what did [you]_0-i learn at [Lowood]_25-lowood ? Can [you]_0-i play ? "_[0-i] " A little . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Of course : that is the established answer . Go into [the library]_{659-the library} - [I]_0-i mean , if [you]_0-i please . - Excuse [my]_0-i tone of command ; [I]_0-i am used to say , ' Do this , ' and it is done : [I]_0-i can not alter [my]_0-i customary habits for one new inmate . - Go , then , into [the library]_{659-the library} ; take a candle with [you]_0-i ; leave the door open ; sit down to the piano , and play a tune . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i departed , obeying [his]_1720-his directions . " Enough ! "_[1720-his] [he]_1720-his called out in a few minutes . " [You]_0-i play A LITTLE , [I]_0-i see ; like [any other English school - girl]_{5199-any other english school - girl} ; perhaps rather better than some , but not well . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i closed the piano and returned . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} continued - " [Adele]_259-adele showed [me]_{251-mr. rochester} some sketches this morning , which [she]_259-adele said were [yours]_0-i . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do n't know whether they were entirely of [your]_0-i doing ; probably [a master aided [you]_0-i]_{5200-a master aided you} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " No , indeed ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i interjected . " Ah ! that pricks pride . Well , fetch [me]_0-i [your]_0-i portfolio , if [you]_0-i can vouch for its contents being original ; but do n't pass [your]_0-i word unless [you]_0-i are certain : [I]_0-i can recognise patchwork . "_[0-i] " Then [I]_0-i will say nothing , and [you]_0-i shall judge for [yourself]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i brought the portfolio from [the library]_{659-the library} . " Approach the table , "_[1722-he] said [he]_1722-he ; and [I]_0-i wheeled it to [his]_1722-he couch . [Adele]_259-adele and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} drew near to see the pictures . " No crowding , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : " take the drawings from [my]_1722-he hand as [I]_1722-he finish with them ; but do n't push [your]_0-i faces up to [mine]_1722-he . "_[1722-he] [He]_1722-he deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting . Three [he]_1722-he laid aside ; the others , when [he]_1722-he had examined them , [he]_1722-he swept from [him]_1722-he . " Take them off to the other table , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , "_[1722-he] said [he]_1722-he , " and look at them with [Adele]_259-adele ; - [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} "_[1722-he] glancing at [me]_0-i " resume [your]_0-i seat , and answer [my]_1722-he questions . [I]_1722-he perceive those pictures were done by one hand : was that hand [yours]_0-i ? "_[1722-he] " Yes . "_[1722-he] " And when did [you]_0-i find time to do them ? They have taken much time , and some thought . "_[1722-he] " [I]_1722-he did them in the last two vacations [I]_1722-he spent at [Lowood]_25-lowood , when [I]_1722-he had no other occupation . "_[1722-he] " Where did [you]_0-i get [your]_0-i copies ? "_[1722-he] " Out of [my]_1722-he head . "_[1722-he] " That head [I]_1722-he see now on [your]_0-i shoulders ? "_[1722-he] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1722-he] " Has it other furniture of the same kind within ? "_[1722-he] " [I]_0-i should think it may have : [I]_0-i should hope - better . "_[0-i] [He]_0-i spread the pictures before [him]_0-i , and again surveyed them alternately . While [he]_0-i is so occupied , [I]_0-i will tell [you]_1723-you , [reader]_496-reader , what they are : and first , [I]_0-i must premise that they are nothing wonderful . [The subjects]_{1725-the subjects} had , indeed , risen vividly on [my]_0-i mind . As [I]_0-i saw them with the spiritual eye , before [I]_0-i attempted to embody them , they were striking ; but [my]_0-i hand would not second [my]_0-i fancy , and in each case it had wrought out but a pale portrait of the thing [I]_0-i had conceived . These pictures were in water - colours . The first represented clouds low and livid , rolling over [a swollen sea]_{1726-a swollen sea} : all the distance was in eclipse ; so , too , was the foreground ; or rather , the nearest billows , for there was [no land]_{1727-no land} . One gleam of light lifted into relief a half - submerged mast , on which sat a cormorant , dark and large , with wings flecked with foam ; its beak held a gold bracelet set with gems , that [I]_0-i had touched with as brilliant tints as [my]_0-i palette could yield , and as glittering distinctness as [my]_0-i pencil could impart . Sinking below the bird and mast , [a drowned corpse]_{1728-a drowned corpse} glanced through the green water ; a fair arm was the only limb clearly visible , whence the bracelet had been washed or torn . The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of [a hill , with grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze]_{1729-a hill , with grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze} . Beyond and above spread an expanse of sky , dark blue as at twilight : rising into the sky was [a woman]_{4399-a woman} 's shape to the bust , portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as [I]_0-i could combine . The dim forehead was crowned with a star ; the lineaments below were seen as through the suffusion of vapour ; the eyes shone dark and wild ; the hair streamed shadowy , like a beamless cloud torn by storm or by electric travail . On the neck lay a pale reflection like moonlight ; the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds from which rose and bowed this vision of the Evening Star . The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky : a muster of northern lights reared their dim lances , close serried , along the horizon . Throwing these into distance , rose , in the foreground , a head , - a colossal head , inclined towards the iceberg , and resting against it . [Two thin hands , joined under the forehead , and supporting it]_{1731-two thin hands , joined under the forehead , and supporting it} , drew up before the lower features a sable veil , a brow quite bloodless , white as bone , and an eye hollow and fixed , blank of meaning but for the glassiness of despair , alone were visible . Above the temples , amidst wreathed turban folds of black drapery , vague in its character and consistency as cloud , gleamed a ring of white flame , gemmed with sparkles of a more lurid tinge . This pale crescent was " the likeness of a kingly crown ; "_[1732-he] what it diademed was " the shape which shape had none . "_[1732-he] " Were [you]_{251-mr. rochester} happy when [you]_{251-mr. rochester} painted these pictures ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} asked [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} presently . " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was absorbed , [sir]_4374-sir : yes , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was happy . To paint them , in short , was to enjoy one of the keenest pleasures [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have ever known . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " That is not saying much . [Your]_{251-mr. rochester} pleasures , by [your]_{251-mr. rochester} own account , have been few ; but [I]_1732-he daresay [you]_{251-mr. rochester} did exist in a kind of [artist]_5204-artist 's dreamland while [you]_{251-mr. rochester} blent and arranged these strange tints . Did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} sit at them long each day ? "_[1732-he] " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had nothing else to do , because it was the vacation , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sat at them from morning till noon , and from noon till night : the length of the midsummer days favoured [my]_{251-mr. rochester} inclination to apply . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And [you]_{251-mr. rochester} felt self - satisfied with the result of [your]_{251-mr. rochester} ardent labours ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Far from it . [I]_1732-he was tormented by the contrast between [my]_1732-he idea and [my]_1732-he handiwork : in each case [I]_1732-he had imagined something which [I]_1732-he was quite powerless to realise . "_[1732-he] " Not quite : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have secured the shadow of [your]_{251-mr. rochester} thought ; but no more , probably . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} had not enough of [the artist]_{5205-the artist} 's skill and science to give it full being : yet the drawings are , for [a school - girl]_{5206-a school - girl} , peculiar . As to the thoughts , they are elfish . These eyes in the Evening Star [you]_{251-mr. rochester} must have seen in a dream . How could [you]_{251-mr. rochester} make them look so clear , and yet not at all brilliant ? for the planet above quells their rays . And what meaning is that in their solemn depth ? And who taught [you]_{251-mr. rochester} to paint wind ? There is a high gale in that sky , and on [this hill - top]_{5207-this hill - top} . Where did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} see [Latmos]_61-latmos ? For that is [Latmos]_61-latmos . There ! put the drawings away ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio , when , looking at [his]_1732-he watch , [he]_1732-he said abruptly - " It is nine o'clock : what are [you]_0-i about , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , to let [Adele]_259-adele sit up so long ? Take [her]_259-adele to bed . "_[1732-he] [Adele]_259-adele went to kiss [him]_1732-he before quitting [the room]_{535-the room} : [he]_1732-he endured the caress , but scarcely seemed to relish it more than [Pilot]_267-pilot would have done , nor so much . " [I]_1732-he wish [you]_0-i all good - night , now , "_[1732-he] said [he]_1732-he , making a movement of the hand towards the door , in token that [he]_1732-he was tired of [our]_1734-our company , and wished to dismiss [us]_1734-our . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} folded up [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knitting : [I]_0-i took [my]_0-i portfolio : [we]_1734-our curtseyed to [him]_1732-he , received a frigid bow in return , and so withdrew . " [You]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was not strikingly peculiar , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i observed , when [I]_0-i rejoined [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} in [[her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} room]_{1588-her room} , after putting [Adele]_259-adele to bed . " Well , is [he]_1732-he ? "_[0-i] " [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} think so : [he]_1732-he is very changeful and abrupt . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " True : no doubt [he]_1732-he may appear so to [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} , but [I]_0-i am so accustomed to [his]_1732-he manner , [I]_0-i never think of it ; and then , if [he]_1732-he has peculiarities of temper , allowance should be made . "_[0-i] " Why ? "_[0-i] " Partly because it is [his]_1732-he nature - and [we]_5209-we can none of [us]_5209-we help [our]_5209-we nature ; and partly because [he]_1732-he has painful thoughts , no doubt , to harass [him]_1732-he , and make [his]_1732-he spirits unequal . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " What about ? "_[0-i] " Family troubles , for one thing . "_[0-i] " But [he]_1732-he has [no family]_{4979-no family} . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Not now , but [he]_1732-he has had - or , at least , [relatives]_{5211-relatives} . [He]_1732-he lost [[his]_1732-he elder brother]_{5212-his elder brother} a few years since . "_[0-i] " [[His]_1732-he [ELDER brother]_{5214-elder brother}]_{5212-his elder brother} ? "_[0-i] " Yes . [The present Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has not been very long in possession of [the property]_{5215-the property} ; only about nine years . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Nine years is a tolerable time . Was [he]_1732-he so very fond of [[his]_1732-he brother]_{5216-his brother} as to be still inconsolable for [his]_1732-he loss ? "_[0-i] " Why , no - perhaps not . [I]_0-i believe there were some misunderstandings between [them]_5217-them . [Mr. Rowland Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was not quite just to [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} ; and perhaps [he]_{251-mr. rochester} prejudiced [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} father]_{5218-his father} against [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [The old gentleman]_{5219-the old gentleman} was fond of money , and anxious to keep [the family estate]_{5220-the family estate} together . [He]_{5219-the old gentleman} did not like to diminish [the property]_{5215-the property} by division , and yet [he]_{5219-the old gentleman} was anxious that [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} should have wealth , too , to keep up the consequence of the name ; and , soon after [he]_{5219-the old gentleman} was of age , some steps were taken that were not quite fair , and made a great deal of mischief . [Old Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [Mr. Rowland]_{251-mr. rochester} combined to bring [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} into what [he]_{273-mr. edward} considered a painful position , for the sake of making [his]_{273-mr. edward} fortune : what the precise nature of that position was [I]_0-i never clearly knew , but [his]_{273-mr. edward} spirit could not brook what [he]_{273-mr. edward} had to suffer in it . [He]_{273-mr. edward} is not very forgiving : [he]_{273-mr. edward} broke with [[his]_{273-mr. edward} family]_{1092-his family} , and now for many years [he]_{273-mr. edward} has led an unsettled kind of life . [I]_0-i do n't think [he]_{273-mr. edward} has ever been resident at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} for a fortnight together , since the death of [[his]_{273-mr. edward} brother]_{5216-his brother} without a will left [him]_{273-mr. edward} [master of [the estate]_{5225-the estate}]_{5224-master of the estate} ; and , indeed , no wonder [he]_{273-mr. edward} shuns [the old place]_{5226-the old place} . "_[0-i] " Why should [he]_{273-mr. edward} shun it ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} " Perhaps [he]_{273-mr. edward} thinks it gloomy . "_[0-i] The answer was evasive . [I]_0-i should have liked something clearer ; but [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} either could not , or would not , give [me]_0-i more explicit information of the origin and nature of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's trials . [She]_{180-mrs. fairfax} averred they were a mystery to [herself]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and that what [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knew was chiefly from conjecture . It was evident , indeed , that [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} wished [me]_0-i to drop the subject , which [I]_0-i did accordingly . CHAPTER XIV For several subsequent days [I]_0-i saw little of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . In the mornings [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed much engaged with business , and , in the afternoon , [[gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} from [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{1737-gentlemen from millcote} or [the neighbourhood]_{1738-the neighbourhood} called , and sometimes stayed to dine with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . When [his]_{251-mr. rochester} sprain was well enough to admit of horse exercise , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rode out a good deal ; probably to return these visits , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} generally did not come back till late at night . During this interval , even [Adele]_259-adele was seldom sent for to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence , and all [my]_0-i acquaintance with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} was confined to an occasional rencontre in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , on the stairs , or in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would sometimes pass [me]_0-i haughtily and coldly , just acknowledging [my]_0-i presence by a distant nod or a cool glance , and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike affability . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} changes of mood did not offend [me]_0-i , because [I]_0-i saw that [I]_0-i had nothing to do with [their]_1741-their alternation ; the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnected with [me]_0-i . One day [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had had company to dinner , and had sent for [my]_0-i portfolio ; in order , doubtless , to exhibit its contents : [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} went away early , to attend a public meeting at [Millcote]_44-millcote , as [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} informed [me]_0-i ; but the night being wet and inclement , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} did not accompany [them]_{1742-the gentlemen} . Soon after [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} were gone [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rang the bell : a message came that [I]_0-i and [Adele]_259-adele were to go [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} . [I]_0-i brushed [Adele]_259-adele 's hair and made [her]_259-adele neat , and having ascertained that [I]_0-i was [myself]_0-i in [my]_0-i usual Quaker trim , where there was nothing to retouch - all being too close and plain , braided locks included , to admit of disarrangement - [we]_1744-we descended , [Adele]_259-adele wondering whether the petit coffre was at length come ; for , owing to some mistake , its arrival had hitherto been delayed . [She]_259-adele was gratified : there it stood , a little carton , on the table when [we]_1744-we entered [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} . [She]_259-adele appeared to know it by instinct . " Ma boite ! ma boite ! "_[259-adele] exclaimed [she]_259-adele , running towards it . " Yes , there is [your]_0-i ' boite ' at last : take it into a corner , [[you]_0-i genuine daughter of [Paris]_62-paris]_{5227-you genuine daughter of paris} , and amuse [yourself]_0-i with disembowelling it , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said the deep and rather sarcastic voice of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , proceeding from the depths of an immense easy - chair at the fireside . " And mind , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} continued , " do n't bother [me]_{251-mr. rochester} with any details of the anatomical process , or any notice of the condition of the entrails : let [your]_0-i operation be conducted in silence : tiens - toi tranquille , enfant ; comprends - tu ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Adele]_259-adele seemed scarcely to need the warning - [she]_259-adele had already retired to a sofa with [her]_259-adele treasure , and was busy untying the cord which secured the lid . Having removed this impediment , and lifted certain silvery envelopes of tissue paper , [she]_259-adele merely exclaimed - " Oh ciel ! Que c'est beau ! "_[259-adele] and then remained absorbed in ecstatic contemplation . " Is [Miss Eyre]_146-jane [there]_4426-there ? "_{[540-the master]} now demanded [the master]_{540-the master} , half rising from [his]_{540-the master} seat to look round to the door , near which [I]_0-i still stood . " Ah ! well , come forward ; be seated here . "_{[540-the master]} [He]_{540-the master} drew a chair near [his]_{540-the master} own . " [I]_{540-the master} am not fond of the prattle of [children]_524-children , "_{[540-the master]} [he]_{540-the master} continued ; " for , [old bachelor]_{5230-old bachelor} as [I]_{540-the master} am , [I]_{540-the master} have no pleasant associations connected with [their]_524-children lisp . It would be intolerable to [me]_{540-the master} to pass a whole evening tete - e - tete with [a brat]_{5231-a brat} . Do n't draw that chair farther off , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ; sit down exactly where [I]_{540-the master} placed it - if [you]_146-jane please , that is . Confound [these civilities]_{5232-these civilities} ! [I]_{540-the master} continually forget [them]_{5232-these civilities} . Nor do [I]_{540-the master} particularly affect [simple - minded old ladies]_{5233-simple - minded old ladies} . By - the - bye , [I]_{540-the master} must have [mine]_{540-the master} in mind ; it wo n't do to neglect [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is [a Fairfax]_{5021-a fairfax} , or [we]_5235-we d to one ; and blood is said to be thicker than water . "_{[540-the master]} [He]_1747-he rang , and despatched an invitation to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , who soon arrived , knitting - basket in hand . " Good evening , [madam]_4457-madam ; [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} sent to [you]_4457-madam for a charitable purpose . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} have forbidden [Adele]_259-adele to talk to [me]_{180-mrs. fairfax} about [her]_259-adele presents , and [she]_259-adele is bursting with repletion : have the goodness to serve [her]_259-adele as [auditress and interlocutrice]_{5237-auditress and interlocutrice} ; it will be one of the most benevolent acts [you]_4457-madam ever performed . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [Adele]_259-adele , indeed , no sooner saw [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , than [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} summoned [her]_259-adele to [her]_259-adele sofa , and there quickly filled [her]_259-adele lap with the porcelain , the ivory , the waxen contents of [her]_259-adele " boite ; "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} pouring out , meantime , explanations and raptures in such broken English as [she]_259-adele was [mistress of]_{1748-mistress of} . " Now [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have performed the part of [a good host]_{5238-a good host} , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} pursued [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , " put [[my]_0-i guests]_{5239-my guests} into the way of amusing [each other]_{724-each other} , [I]_0-i ought to be at liberty to attend to [my]_0-i own pleasure . [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , draw [your]_146-jane chair still a little farther forward : [you]_146-jane are yet too far back ; [I]_0-i can not see [you]_146-jane without disturbing [my]_0-i position in this comfortable chair , which [I]_0-i have no mind to do . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did as [I]_0-i was bid , though [I]_0-i would much rather have remained somewhat in the shade ; but [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had such a direct way of giving orders , it seemed a matter of course to obey [him]_{251-mr. rochester} promptly . [We]_1749-we were , as [I]_0-i have said , in [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} : the lustre , which had been lit for dinner , filled [the room]_{535-the room} with a festal breadth of light ; the large fire was all red and clear ; the purple curtains hung rich and ample before the lofty window and loftier arch ; everything was still , save the subdued chat of [Adele]_259-adele [she]_259-adele dared not speak loud , and , filling up each pause , the beating of winter rain against the panes . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} sat in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} damask - covered chair , looked different to what [I]_0-i had seen [him]_{251-mr. rochester} look before ; not quite so stern - much less gloomy . There was a smile on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} lips , and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eyes sparkled , whether with wine or not , [I]_0-i am not sure ; but [I]_0-i think it very probable . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was , in short , in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} after - dinner mood ; more expanded and genial , and also more self - indulgent than the frigid and rigid temper of the morning ; still [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked preciously grim , cushioning [his]_{251-mr. rochester} massive head against the swelling back of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} chair , and receiving the light of the fire on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} granite - hewn features , and in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} great , dark eyes ; for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had great , dark eyes , and very fine eyes , too - not without a certain change in their depths sometimes , which , if it was not softness , reminded [you]_1752-you , at least , of that feeling . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} had been looking two minutes at the fire , and [I]_0-i had been looking the same length of time at [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , when , turning suddenly , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} caught [my]_0-i gaze fastened on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} physiognomy . " [You]_0-i examine [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} : " do [you]_0-i think [me]_{251-mr. rochester} handsome ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i should , if [I]_0-i had deliberated , have replied to this question by something conventionally vague and polite ; but the answer somehow slipped from [my]_0-i tongue before [I]_0-i was aware - " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " Ah ! By [my]_{251-mr. rochester} word ! there is something singular about [you]_0-i , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} : " [you]_0-i have the air of a little nonnette ; quaint , quiet , grave , and simple , as [you]_0-i sit with [your]_0-i hands before [you]_0-i , and [your]_0-i eyes generally bent on the carpet except , by - the - bye , when they are directed piercingly to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} face ; as just now , for instance ; and when [one]_4415-one asks [you]_0-i a question , or makes a remark to which [you]_0-i are obliged to reply , [you]_0-i rap out a round rejoinder , which , if not blunt , is at least brusque . What do [you]_4374-sir mean by it ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i was too plain ; [I]_0-i beg [your]_4374-sir pardon . [I]_0-i ought to have replied that it was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about appearances ; that tastes mostly differ ; and that beauty is of little consequence , or something of that sort . "_[0-i] " [You]_4374-sir ought to have replied no such thing . Beauty of little consequence , indeed ! And so , under pretence of softening the previous outrage , of stroking and soothing [me]_0-i into placidity , [you]_4374-sir stick a sly penknife under [my]_0-i ear ! Go on : what fault do [you]_4374-sir find with [me]_0-i , pray ? [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i have all [my]_0-i limbs and all [my]_0-i features like [any other man]_{5244-any other man} ? "_[0-i] " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , allow [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to disown [my]_{251-mr. rochester} first answer : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} intended no pointed repartee : it was only a blunder . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Just so : [I]_1753-i think so : and [you]_{251-mr. rochester} shall be answerable for it . Criticise [me]_1753-i : does [my]_1753-i forehead not please [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[1753-i] [He]_1753-i lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally over [his]_1753-i brow , and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs , but an abrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence should have risen . " Now , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , am [I]_1753-i [a fool]_{1546-a fool} ? "_[1753-i] " Far from it , [sir]_4374-sir . [You]_4374-sir would , perhaps , think [me]_{251-mr. rochester} rude if [I]_{251-mr. rochester} inquired in return whether [you]_1753-i are [a philanthropist]_{5248-a philanthropist} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " There again ! Another stick of the penknife , when [she]_5249-she pretended to pat [my]_1753-i head : and that is because [I]_1753-i said [I]_1753-i did not like the society of [children]_524-children and [old women]_{5251-old women} low be it spoken ! . No , [young lady]_{5252-young lady} , [I]_1753-i am not [a general philanthropist]_{5253-a general philanthropist} ; but [I]_1753-i bear a conscience ; "_[1753-i] and [he]_1753-i pointed to the prominences which are said to indicate that faculty , and which , fortunately for [him]_1753-i , were sufficiently conspicuous ; giving , indeed , a marked breadth to the upper part of [his]_1753-i head : " and , besides , [I]_1753-i once had a kind of rude tenderness of heart . When [I]_1753-i was as old as [you]_4374-sir , [I]_1753-i was a feeling fellow enough , partial to the unfledged , unfostered , and unlucky ; but [Fortune]_274-fortune has knocked [me]_1753-i about since : [she]_5249-she has even kneaded [me]_1753-i with [her]_5249-she knuckles , and now [I]_1753-i flatter [myself]_1753-i [I]_1753-i am hard and tough as an India - rubber ball ; pervious , though , through a chink or two still , and with one sentient point in the middle of the lump . Yes : does that leave hope for [me]_1753-i ? "_[1753-i] " Hope of what , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1753-i] " Of [my]_1753-i final re - transformation from [India]_63-india - rubber back to flesh ? "_[1753-i] " Decidedly [he]_1753-i has had too much wine , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought ; and [I]_0-i did not know what answer to make to [his]_1753-i queer question : how could [I]_0-i tell whether [he]_1753-i was capable of being re - transformed ? " [You]_0-i looked very much puzzled , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ; and though [you]_0-i are not pretty any more than [I]_1753-i am handsome , yet a puzzled air becomes [you]_0-i ; besides , it is convenient , for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from [my]_1753-i physiognomy , and busies [them]_5255-them with the worsted flowers of the rug ; so puzzle on . [Young lady]_{5252-young lady} , [I]_1753-i am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to - night . "_[1753-i] With this announcement [he]_1753-i rose from [his]_1753-i chair , and stood , leaning [his]_1753-i arm on the marble mantelpiece : in that attitude [his]_1753-i shape was seen plainly as well as [his]_1753-i face ; [his]_1753-i unusual breadth of chest , disproportionate almost to [his]_1753-i length of limb . [I]_0-i am sure [most people]_{1754-most people} would have thought [him]_1753-i [an ugly man]_{1755-an ugly man} ; yet there was so much unconscious pride in [his]_1753-i port ; so much ease in [his]_1753-i demeanour ; such a look of complete indifference to [his]_1753-i own external appearance ; so haughty a reliance on the power of other qualities , intrinsic or adventitious , to atone for the lack of mere personal attractiveness , that , in looking at [him]_1753-i , [one]_4415-one inevitably shared the indifference , and , even in a blind , imperfect sense , put faith in the confidence . " [I]_1753-i am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to - night , "_[1753-i] [he]_1753-i repeated , " and that is why [I]_1753-i sent for [you]_0-i : the fire and the chandelier were not sufficient company for [me]_1753-i ; nor would [Pilot]_267-pilot have been , for none of these can talk . [Adele]_259-adele is a degree better , but still far below the mark ; [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ditto ; [you]_0-i , [I]_1753-i am persuaded , can suit [me]_1753-i if [you]_0-i will : [you]_0-i puzzled [me]_1753-i the first evening [I]_1753-i invited [you]_0-i down here . [I]_1753-i have almost forgotten [you]_0-i since : other ideas have driven [yours]_0-i from [my]_1753-i head ; but to - night [I]_1753-i am resolved to be at ease ; to dismiss what importunes , and recall what pleases . It would please [me]_1753-i now to draw [you]_0-i out - to learn more of [you]_0-i - therefore speak . "_[1753-i] Instead of speaking , [I]_0-i smiled ; and not a very complacent or submissive smile either . " Speak , "_[1757-i] [he]_1757-i urged . " What about , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1757-i] " Whatever [you]_4374-sir like . [I]_{275-accordingly} leave both the choice of subject and the manner of treating it entirely to [yourself]_0-i . "_{[275-accordingly]} [Accordingly]_{275-accordingly} [I]_0-i sat and said nothing : " If [he]_1757-i expects [me]_0-i to talk for the mere sake of talking and showing off , [he]_1757-i will find [he]_1757-i has addressed [himself]_1757-i to [the wrong person]_{5258-the wrong person} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought . " [You]_0-i are dumb , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was dumb still . [He]_1757-i bent [his]_1757-i head a little towards [me]_0-i , and with a single hasty glance seemed to dive into [my]_0-i eyes . " Stubborn ? "_[1757-i] [he]_1757-i said , " and annoyed . Ah ! it is consistent . [I]_1757-i put [my]_1757-i request in an absurd , almost insolent form . [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [I]_1757-i beg [your]_146-jane pardon . The fact is , once for all , [I]_1757-i do n't wish to treat [you]_146-jane like [an inferior]_{5259-an inferior} : that is "_[1757-i] correcting [himself]_1757-i , " [I]_1757-i claim only such superiority as must result from twenty years ' difference in age and a century 's advance in experience . This is legitimate , et j'y tiens , as [Adele]_259-adele would say ; and it is by virtue of this superiority , and this alone , that [I]_1757-i desire [you]_146-jane to have the goodness to talk to [me]_1757-i a little now , and divert [my]_1757-i thoughts , which are galled with dwelling on one point - cankering as a rusty nail . "_[1757-i] [He]_1757-i had deigned an explanation , almost an apology , and [I]_0-i did not feel insensible to [his]_1757-i condescension , and would not seem so . " [I]_0-i am willing to amuse [you]_146-jane , if [I]_0-i can , [sir]_4374-sir - quite willing ; but [I]_0-i can not introduce a topic , because how do [I]_0-i know what will interest [you]_146-jane ? Ask [me]_0-i questions , and [I]_0-i will do [my]_0-i best to answer them . "_[0-i] " Then , in the first place , do [you]_146-jane agree with [me]_1757-i that [I]_1757-i have a right to be a little masterful , abrupt , perhaps exacting , sometimes , on the grounds [I]_1757-i stated , namely , that [I]_1757-i am old enough to be [[your]_146-jane father]_{4318-your father} , and that [I]_1757-i have battled through a varied experience with [many men of many nations]_{5262-many men of many nations} , and roamed over half [the globe]_{5263-the globe} , while [you]_146-jane have lived quietly with one set of [people]_4493-people in [one house]_{5265-one house} ? "_[1757-i] " Do as [you]_4374-sir please , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1757-i] " That is no answer ; or rather it is a very irritating , because a very evasive one . Reply clearly . "_[0-i] " [I]_1757-i do n't think , [sir]_4374-sir , [you]_4374-sir have a right to command [me]_1757-i , merely because [you]_4374-sir are older than [I]_1757-i , or because [you]_4374-sir have seen more of [the world]_{484-the world} than [I]_1757-i have ; [your]_4374-sir claim to superiority depends on the use [you]_4374-sir have made of [your]_4374-sir time and experience . "_[1757-i] " [Humph]_276-humph ! Promptly spoken . But [I]_0-i wo n't allow that , seeing that it would never suit [my]_0-i case , as [I]_0-i have made an indifferent , not to say a bad , use of both advantages . Leaving superiority out of the question , then , [you]_4374-sir must still agree to receive [my]_0-i orders now and then , without being piqued or hurt by the tone of command . Will [you]_4374-sir ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i smiled : [I]_0-i thought to [myself]_0-i [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} IS peculiar - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seems to forget that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} pays [me]_0-i 30 pounds per annum for receiving [his]_{251-mr. rochester} orders . " The smile is very well , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , catching instantly the passing expression ; " but speak too . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was thinking , [sir]_4374-sir , that [very few masters]_{5270-very few masters} would trouble [themselves]_{5270-very few masters} to inquire whether or not [[their]_{5270-very few masters} paid subordinates]_{5271-their paid subordinates} were piqued and hurt by [their]_{5270-very few masters} orders . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Paid subordinates]_{5272-paid subordinates} ! What ! [you]_4374-sir are [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} paid subordinate]_{5273-my paid subordinate} , are [you]_4374-sir ? Oh yes , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had forgotten the salary ! Well then , on that mercenary ground , will [you]_4374-sir agree to let [me]_{251-mr. rochester} hector a little ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " No , [sir]_4374-sir , not on that ground ; but , on the ground that [you]_4374-sir did forget it , and that [you]_4374-sir care whether or not [a dependent]_{4316-a dependent} is comfortable in [his]_{4316-a dependent} dependency , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} agree heartily . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And will [you]_4374-sir consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms and phrases , without thinking that the omission arises from insolence ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am sure , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should never mistake informality for insolence : one [I]_{251-mr. rochester} rather like , [the other nothing free - born]_{5277-the other nothing free - born} would submit to , even for a salary . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Humbug]_277-humbug ! Most things [free - born]_{5278-free - born} will submit to anything for a salary ; therefore , keep to [yourself]_4374-sir , and do n't venture on generalities of which [you]_4374-sir are intensely ignorant . However , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} mentally shake hands with [you]_4374-sir for [your]_4374-sir answer , despite its inaccuracy ; and as much for the manner in which it was said , as for the substance of the speech ; the manner was frank and sincere ; [one]_4415-one does not often see such a manner : no , on the contrary , affectation , or coldness , or stupid , coarse - minded misapprehension of one 's meaning are the usual rewards of candour . [Not three in three thousand raw school - girl - governesses]_{5280-not three in three thousand raw school - girl - governesses} would have answered [me]_{251-mr. rochester} as [you]_4374-sir have just done . But [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do n't mean to flatter [you]_4374-sir : if [you]_4374-sir are cast in a different mould to [the majority]_{5281-the majority} , it is no merit of [yours]_4374-sir : [Nature]_278-nature did it . And then , after all , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} go too fast in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} conclusions : for what [I]_{251-mr. rochester} yet know , [you]_4374-sir may be no better than the rest ; [you]_4374-sir may have intolerable defects to counterbalance [your]_4374-sir few good points . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And so may [you]_1758-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought . [My]_0-i eye met [his]_1758-i as the idea crossed [my]_0-i mind : [he]_1758-i seemed to read the glance , answering as if its import had been spoken as well as imagined - " Yes , yes , [you]_0-i are right , "_[1758-i] said [he]_1758-i ; " [I]_1758-i have plenty of faults of [my]_1758-i own : [I]_1758-i know it , and [I]_1758-i do n't wish to palliate [them]_5282-them , [I]_1758-i assure [you]_0-i . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} wot [I]_1758-i need not be too severe about [others]_1041-others ; [I]_1758-i have a past existence , a series of deeds , a colour of life to contemplate within [my]_1758-i own breast , which might well call [my]_1758-i sneers and censures from [[my]_1758-i neighbours]_{5284-my neighbours} to [myself]_1758-i . [I]_1758-i started , or rather for like [other defaulters]_{5285-other defaulters} , [I]_1758-i like to lay half the blame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances was thrust on to a wrong tack at the age of one - and- twenty , and have never recovered the right course since : but [I]_1758-i might have been very different ; [I]_1758-i might have been as good as [you]_0-i - wiser - almost as stainless . [I]_1758-i envy [you]_0-i [your]_0-i peace of mind , [your]_0-i clean conscience , [your]_0-i unpolluted memory . [Little girl]_{4432-little girl} , a memory without blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure - an inexhaustible source of pure refreshment : is it not ? "_[1758-i] " How was [your]_1758-i memory when [you]_1758-i were eighteen , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1758-i] " All right then ; limpid , salubrious : no gush of bilge water had turned it to fetid puddle . [I]_1758-i was [[your]_0-i equal]_{5288-your equal} at eighteen - quite [[your]_0-i equal]_{5288-your equal} . Nature meant [me]_1758-i to be , on the whole , [a good man]_{4605-a good man} , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ; [one of the better kind]_{5291-one of the better kind} , and [you]_0-i see [I]_1758-i am not so . [You]_0-i would say [you]_0-i do n't see it ; at least [I]_1758-i flatter [myself]_1758-i [I]_1758-i read as much in [your]_0-i eye beware , by - the - bye , what [you]_0-i express with that organ ; [I]_1758-i am quick at interpreting its language . Then take [my]_1758-i word for it , - [I]_1758-i am not [a villain]_{5292-a villain} : [you]_0-i are not to suppose that - not to attribute to [me]_1758-i any such bad eminence ; but , owing , [I]_1758-i verily believe , rather to circumstances than to [my]_1758-i natural bent , [I]_1758-i am [a trite commonplace sinner , hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich and worthless]_{5293-a trite commonplace sinner , hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich and worthless} try to put on life . Do [you]_0-i wonder that [I]_1758-i avow this to [you]_0-i ? Know , that in the course of [your]_0-i future life [you]_0-i will often find [yourself]_0-i elected [the involuntary confidant of [[your]_0-i acquaintances]_{5295-your acquaintances} ' secrets]_{5294-the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances ' secrets} : [people]_4493-people will instinctively find out , as [I]_1758-i have done , that it is not [your]_0-i forte to tell of [yourself]_0-i , but to listen while [others]_1041-others talk of [themselves]_1041-others ; [they]_1041-others will feel , too , that [you]_0-i listen with no malevolent scorn of [their]_1041-others indiscretion , but with a kind of innate sympathy ; not the less comforting and encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations . "_[1758-i] " How do [you]_1758-i know ? - how can [you]_1758-i guess all this , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1758-i] " [I]_1758-i know it well ; therefore [I]_1758-i proceed almost as freely as if [I]_1758-i were writing [my]_1758-i thoughts in a diary . [You]_0-i would say , [I]_1758-i should have been superior to circumstances ; so [I]_1758-i should - so [I]_1758-i should ; but [you]_0-i see [I]_1758-i was not . When fate wronged [me]_1758-i , [I]_1758-i had not the wisdom to remain cool : [I]_1758-i turned desperate ; then [I]_1758-i degenerated . Now , when [any vicious simpleton]_{5299-any vicious simpleton} excites [my]_1758-i disgust by [his]_{5299-any vicious simpleton} paltry ribaldry , [I]_1758-i can not flatter [myself]_1758-i that [I]_1758-i am better than [he]_{5299-any vicious simpleton} : [I]_1758-i am forced to confess that [he]_{5299-any vicious simpleton} and [I]_1758-i are on a level . [I]_1758-i wish [I]_1758-i had stood firm - [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knows [I]_1758-i do ! Dread remorse when [you]_0-i are tempted to err , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ; remorse is the poison of life . "_[1758-i] " Repentance is said to be its cure , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1758-i] " It is not [its]_5301-its cure . [Reformation]_{279-reformation} may be [its]_5301-its cure ; and [I]_1758-i could reform - [I]_1758-i have strength yet for that - if - but where is the use of thinking of it , hampered , burdened , cursed as [I]_1758-i am ? Besides , since happiness is irrevocably denied [me]_1758-i , [I]_1758-i have a right to get pleasure out of life : and [I]_1758-i WILL get it , cost what it may . "_[1758-i] " Then [you]_1758-i will degenerate still more , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1758-i] " Possibly : yet why should [I]_1758-i , if [I]_1758-i can get sweet , fresh pleasure ? And [I]_1758-i may get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on [the moor]_{5303-the moor} . "_[1758-i] " It will sting - it will taste bitter , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1758-i] " How do [you]_4374-sir know ? - [you]_4374-sir never tried it . How very serious - how very solemn [you]_4374-sir look : and [you]_4374-sir are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head "_[1758-i] taking one from the mantelpiece . " [You]_4374-sir have no right to preach to [me]_1758-i , [you]_4374-sir neophyte , that have not passed the porch of life , and are absolutely unacquainted with its mysteries . "_[1758-i] " [I]_1758-i only remind [you]_4374-sir of [your]_4374-sir own words , [sir]_4374-sir : [you]_4374-sir said error brought remorse , and [you]_4374-sir pronounced remorse the poison of existence . "_[1758-i] " And who talks of error now ? [I]_1758-i scarcely think the notion that flittered across [my]_1758-i brain was an error . [I]_1758-i believe it was an inspiration rather than a temptation : it was very genial , very soothing - [I]_1758-i know that . Here it comes again ! It is no devil , [I]_1758-i assure [you]_4374-sir ; or if it be , it has put on the robes of [an angel of light]_{5306-an angel of light} . [I]_1758-i think [I]_1758-i must admit so fair [a guest]_{5307-a guest} when it asks entrance to [my]_1758-i heart . "_[1758-i] " Distrust it , [sir]_4374-sir ; it is not [a true angel]_{5309-a true angel} . "_[1758-i] " Once more , how do [you]_4374-sir know ? By what instinct do [you]_4374-sir pretend to distinguish between [a fallen seraph of the abyss]_{5310-a fallen seraph of the abyss} and [a messenger from the eternal throne]_{5311-a messenger from the eternal throne} - between [a guide]_{5312-a guide} and [a seducer]_{5313-a seducer} ? "_[1758-i] " [I]_1758-i judged by [your]_4374-sir countenance , [sir]_4374-sir , which was troubled when [you]_4374-sir said the suggestion had returned upon [you]_4374-sir . [I]_1758-i feel sure it will work [you]_4374-sir more misery if [you]_4374-sir listen to it . "_[1758-i] " Not at all - it bears the most gracious message in [the world]_{484-the world} : for the rest , [you]_4374-sir are not [[my]_1759-you conscience - keeper]_{5316-my conscience - keeper} , so do n't make [yourself]_4374-sir uneasy . Here , come in , [bonny wanderer]_{5317-bonny wanderer} ! "_[1759-you] [He]_1759-you said this as if [he]_1759-you spoke to a vision , viewless to any eye but [his]_1759-you own ; then , folding [his]_1759-you arms , which [he]_1759-you had half extended , on [his]_1759-you chest , [he]_1759-you seemed to enclose in [their]_1760-their embrace [the invisible being]_{1761-the invisible being} . " Now , "_[1759-you] [he]_1759-you continued , again addressing [me]_0-i , " [I]_1759-you have received [the pilgrim]_{5318-the pilgrim} - [a disguised deity]_{5319-a disguised deity} , as [I]_1759-you verily believe . Already it has done [me]_1759-you good : [my]_1759-you heart was a sort of charnel ; it will now be a shrine . "_[1759-you] " To speak truth , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_1759-you do n't understand [you]_4374-sir at all : [I]_1759-you can not keep up the conversation , because it has got out of [my]_1759-you depth . Only one thing , [I]_1759-you know : [you]_4374-sir said [you]_4374-sir were not as good as [you]_4374-sir should like to be , and that [you]_4374-sir regretted [your]_4374-sir own imperfection ; - one thing [I]_1759-you can comprehend : [you]_4374-sir intimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane . It seems to [me]_1759-you , that if [you]_4374-sir tried hard , [you]_4374-sir would in time find it possible to become what [you]_4374-sir [yourself]_4374-sir would approve ; and that if from this day [you]_4374-sir began with resolution to correct [your]_4374-sir thoughts and actions , [you]_4374-sir would in a few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections , to which [you]_4374-sir might revert with pleasure . "_[1759-you] " Justly thought ; rightly said , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ; and , at this moment , [I]_1759-you am paving hell with energy . "_[1759-you] " [Sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1759-you] " [I]_1759-you am laying down good intentions , which [I]_1759-you believe durable as flint . Certainly , [[my]_1759-you associates]_{5322-my associates} and pursuits shall be other than [they]_{5322-my associates} have been . "_[1759-you] " And better ? "_[1759-you] " And better - so much better as pure ore is than [foul dross]_{5323-foul dross} . [You]_4374-sir seem to doubt [me]_1759-you ; [I]_1759-you do n't doubt [myself]_1759-you : [I]_1759-you know what [my]_1759-you aim is , what [my]_1759-you motives are ; and at this moment [I]_1759-you pass a law , unalterable as that of [the Medes]_{5324-the medes} and [Persians]_280-persians , that both are right . "_[1759-you] " [They]_{5322-my associates} can not be , [sir]_4374-sir , if [they]_{5322-my associates} require a new statute to legalise [them]_{5322-my associates} . "_[1759-you] " [They]_{5322-my associates} are , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , though [they]_{5322-my associates} absolutely require a new statute : unheard - of combinations of circumstances demand unheard - of rules . "_[1759-you] " That sounds a dangerous maxim , [sir]_4374-sir ; because one can see at once that it is liable to abuse . "_[1759-you] " [Sententious sage]_{5327-sententious sage} ! so it is : but [I]_1759-you swear by [my]_1759-you household gods not to abuse it . "_[1759-you] " [You]_1759-you are human and fallible . "_[1759-you] " [I]_1759-you am : so are [you]_1759-you - what then ? "_[1759-you] " [The human and fallible]_{5328-the human and fallible} should not arrogate a power with which the divine and perfect alone can be safely intrusted . "_[1759-you] " What power ? "_[1759-you] " That of saying of any strange , unsanctioned line of action , - ' Let it be right . ' "_[1759-you] " ' Let it be right ' - the very words : [you]_1759-you have pronounced them . "_[1759-you] " MAY it be right then , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , as [I]_0-i rose , deeming it useless to continue a discourse which was all darkness to [me]_0-i ; and , besides , sensible that the character of [[my]_0-i interlocutor]_{1762-my interlocutor} was beyond [my]_0-i penetration ; at least , beyond its present reach ; and feeling the uncertainty , the vague sense of insecurity , which accompanies a conviction of ignorance . " Where are [you]_1759-you going ? "_[259-adele] " To put [Adele]_259-adele to bed : it is past [her]_259-adele bedtime . "_[259-adele] " [You]_1759-you are afraid of [me]_259-adele , because [I]_259-adele talk like a Sphynx . "_[259-adele] " [Your]_1759-you language is enigmatical , [sir]_4374-sir : but though [I]_259-adele am bewildered , [I]_259-adele am certainly not afraid . "_[259-adele] " [You]_1759-you ARE afraid - [your]_1759-you self - love dreads a blunder . "_[259-adele] " In that sense [I]_259-adele do feel apprehensive - [I]_259-adele have no wish to talk nonsense . "_[259-adele] " If [you]_1759-you did , it would be in such a grave , quiet manner , [I]_259-adele should mistake it for sense . Do [you]_1759-you never laugh , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ? Do n't trouble [yourself]_1759-you to answer - [I]_259-adele see [you]_1759-you laugh rarely ; but [you]_1759-you can laugh very merrily : believe [me]_259-adele , [you]_1759-you are not naturally austere , any more than [I]_259-adele am naturally vicious . The Lowood constraint still clings to [you]_1759-you somewhat ; controlling [your]_1759-you features , muffling [your]_1759-you voice , and restricting [your]_1759-you limbs ; and [you]_1759-you fear in the presence of [a man]_{4429-a man} and [a brother]_{5331-a brother} - or [father]_718-father , or [master]_4335-master , or what [you]_1759-you will - to smile too gaily , speak too freely , or move too quickly : but , in time , [I]_259-adele think [you]_1759-you will learn to be natural with [me]_259-adele , as [I]_259-adele find it impossible to be conventional with [you]_1759-you ; and then [your]_1759-you looks and movements will have more vivacity and variety than [they]_5334-they dare offer now . [I]_259-adele see at intervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close - set bars of a cage : [a vivid , restless , resolute captive]_{5335-a vivid , restless , resolute captive} is there ; were it but free , it would soar cloud - high . [You]_1759-you are still bent on going ? "_[259-adele] " It has struck nine , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[259-adele] " Never mind , - wait a minute : [Adele]_259-adele is not ready to go to bed yet . [My]_259-adele position , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , with [my]_259-adele back to the fire , and [my]_259-adele face to [the room]_{535-the room} , favours observation . While talking to [you]_1759-you , [I]_259-adele have also occasionally watched [Adele]_259-adele [I]_259-adele have [my]_259-adele own reasons for thinking [her]_259-adele a curious study , - reasons that [I]_259-adele may , nay , that [I]_259-adele shall , impart to [you]_1759-you some day . [She]_259-adele pulled out of [her]_259-adele box , about ten minutes ago , a little pink silk frock ; rapture lit [her]_259-adele face as [she]_259-adele unfolded it ; coquetry runs in [her]_259-adele blood , blends with [her]_259-adele brains , and seasons the marrow of [her]_259-adele bones . ' Il faut que je l'essaie ! ' cried [she]_259-adele , ' et e l'instant meme ! ' and [she]_259-adele rushed out of [the room]_{535-the room} . [She]_259-adele is now with [Sophie]_256-sophie , undergoing a robing process : in a few minutes [she]_259-adele will re - enter ; and [I]_259-adele know what [I]_259-adele shall see , - a miniature of [Celine Varens]_281-celine , as [she]_281-celine used to appear on the boards at the rising of - But never mind that . However , [my]_259-adele tenderest feelings are about to receive a shock : such is [my]_259-adele presentiment ; stay now , to see whether it will be realised . "_[259-adele] Ere long , [Adele]_259-adele 's little foot was heard tripping across [the hall]_{608-the hall} . [She]_259-adele entered , transformed as [[her]_259-adele guardian]_{1764-her guardian} had predicted . A dress of rose - coloured satin , very short , and as full in the skirt as it could be gathered , replaced the brown frock [she]_259-adele had previously worn ; a wreath of rosebuds circled [her]_259-adele forehead ; [her]_259-adele feet were dressed in silk stockings and small white satin sandals . " Est - ce que ma robe va bien ? "_[259-adele] cried [she]_259-adele , bounding forwards ; " et mes souliers ? et [mes]_5339-mes bas ? Tenez , je crois que je vais danser ! "_[259-adele] And spreading out [her]_259-adele dress , [she]_259-adele chasseed across [the room]_{535-the room} till , having reached [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [she]_259-adele wheeled lightly round before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} on tip - toe , then dropped on one knee at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} feet , exclaiming - " [Monsieur]_{5146-monsieur} , je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte ; "_[259-adele] then rising , [she]_259-adele added , " C'est comme cela que maman faisait , n'est - ce pas , [monsieur]_{5146-monsieur} ? "_[259-adele] " Pre - cise - ly ! "_[259-adele] was the answer ; " and , ' comme cela , ' [she]_259-adele charmed [my]_259-adele English gold out of [my]_259-adele British breeches ' pocket . [I]_259-adele have been green , too , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , - ay , grass green : not a more vernal tint freshens [you]_5342-you now than once freshened [me]_259-adele . [My]_259-adele Spring is gone , however , but it has left [me]_259-adele that French floweret on [my]_259-adele hands , which , in some moods , [I]_259-adele would fain be rid of . Not valuing now the root whence it sprang ; having found that it was of a sort which nothing but gold dust could manure , [I]_259-adele have but half a liking to the blossom , especially when it looks so artificial as just now . [I]_259-adele keep it and rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous sins , great or small , by one good work . [I]_259-adele 'll explain all this some day . Good - night . "_[259-adele] CHAPTER XV [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} did , on a future occasion , explain it . It was one afternoon , when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} chanced to meet [me]_0-i and [Adele]_259-adele in [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} : and while [she]_259-adele played with [Pilot]_267-pilot and [her]_259-adele shuttlecock , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} asked [me]_0-i to walk up and down [a long beech avenue]_{1767-a long beech avenue} within sight of [her]_259-adele . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} then said that [she]_259-adele was [the daughter of [a French opera - dancer]_{1768-a french opera - dancer} , [Celine Varens]_281-celine , towards whom [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had once cherished what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} called a " grande passion]_{5343-the daughter of a french opera - dancer , celine varens , towards whom he had once cherished what he called a " grande passion} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} This passion [Celine]_281-celine had professed to return with even superior ardour . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} thought [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} [[her]_281-celine idol]_{1769-her idol} , ugly as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} believed , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , that [she]_281-celine preferred [his]_{251-mr. rochester} " taille d'athlete "_{[251-mr. rochester]} to the elegance of the Apollo Belvidere . " And , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , so much was [I]_1770-i flattered by this preference of the Gallic sylph for [[her]_259-adele British gnome]_{5344-her british gnome} , that [I]_1770-i installed [her]_259-adele in [an hotel]_{5056-an hotel} ; gave [her]_259-adele a complete establishment of [servants]_{4989-servants} , [a carriage]_{776-a carriage} , cashmeres , diamonds , dentelles , c. In short , [I]_1770-i began the process of ruining [myself]_1770-i in the received style , like [any other spoony]_{5348-any other spoony} . [I]_1770-i had not , it seems , the originality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction , but trode [the old track]_{5349-the old track} with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from [the beaten centre]_{5350-the beaten centre} . [I]_1770-i had - as [I]_1770-i deserved to have - the fate of all other spoonies . Happening to call one evening when [Celine]_281-celine did not expect [me]_1770-i , [I]_1770-i found [her]_259-adele out ; but it was a warm night , and [I]_1770-i was tired with strolling through [Paris]_62-paris , so [I]_1770-i sat down in [[her]_259-adele boudoir]_{5351-her boudoir} ; happy to breathe the air consecrated so lately by [her]_259-adele presence . No , - [I]_1770-i exaggerate ; [I]_1770-i never thought there was any consecrating virtue about [her]_259-adele : it was rather a sort of pastille perfume [she]_259-adele had left ; a scent of musk and amber , than an odour of sanctity . [I]_1770-i was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of conservatory flowers and sprinkled essences , when [I]_1770-i bethought [myself]_1770-i to open the window and step out on to [the balcony]_{5352-the balcony} . It was moonlight and gaslight besides , and very still and serene . [The balcony]_{5352-the balcony} was furnished with a chair or two ; [I]_1770-i sat down , and took out a cigar , - [I]_1770-i will take one now , if [you]_5354-you will excuse [me]_1770-i . "_[1770-i] Here ensued a pause , filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar ; having placed it to [his]_1770-i lips and breathed a trail of [Havannah]_282-havannah incense on the freezing and sunless air , [he]_1770-i went on - " [I]_1770-i liked bonbons too in those days , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , and [I]_1770-i was croquant - overlook the barbarism - croquant chocolate comfits , and smoking alternately , watching meantime the equipages that rolled along [the fashionable streets]_{5355-the fashionable streets} towards [the neighbouring opera - house]_{5356-the neighbouring opera - house} , when in [an elegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses]_{5357-an elegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of english horses} , and distinctly seen in the brilliant city - night , [I]_1770-i recognised the ' voiture ' [I]_1770-i had given [Celine]_281-celine . [She]_281-celine was returning : of course [my]_1770-i heart thumped with impatience against the iron rails [I]_1770-i leant upon . [The carriage]_{654-the carriage} stopped , as [I]_1770-i had expected , at [the hotel]_{5359-the hotel} door ; [my]_1770-i flame that is the very word for an opera inamorata alighted : though muffed in a cloak - an unnecessary encumbrance , by - the - bye , on so warm a June evening - [I]_1770-i knew [her]_281-celine instantly by [her]_281-celine little foot , seen peeping from the skirt of [her]_281-celine dress , as [she]_281-celine skipped from the carriage - step . Bending over [the balcony]_{5352-the balcony} , [I]_1770-i was about to murmur ' Mon ange ' - in a tone , of course , which should be audible to the ear of love alone - when [a figure]_{5361-a figure} jumped from [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} after [her]_281-celine ; cloaked also ; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement , and that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched porte cochere of [the hotel]_{5359-the hotel} . "_[1770-i] [You]_1771-you never felt jealousy , did [you]_1771-you , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ? Of course not : [I]_0-i need not ask [you]_1771-you ; because [you]_1771-you never felt love . [You]_1771-you have both sentiments yet to experience : [your]_1771-you soul sleeps ; the shock is yet to be given which shall waken it . [You]_1771-you think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in which [your]_1771-you youth has hitherto slid away . Floating on with closed eyes and muffled ears , [you]_1771-you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the bed of the flood , nor hear the breakers boil at their base . But [I]_0-i tell [you]_1771-you - and [you]_1771-you may mark [my]_0-i words - [you]_1771-you will come some day to [a craggy pass in [the channel]_{1773-the channel} , where the whole of life 's stream]_{1772-a craggy pass in the channel , where the whole of life 's stream} will be broken up into whirl and tumult , foam and noise : either [you]_1771-you will be dashed to atoms on crag points , or lifted up and borne on by some master - wave into a calmer current - as [I]_0-i am now . " [I]_0-i like this day ; [I]_0-i like that sky of steel ; [I]_0-i like the sternness and stillness of [the world]_{484-the world} under this frost . [I]_0-i like [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , [its]_{43-thornfield} antiquity , [its]_{43-thornfield} retirement , [its]_{43-thornfield} old crow - trees and thorn - trees , [its]_{43-thornfield} grey facade , and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin : and yet how long have [I]_0-i abhorred the very thought of it , shunned it like [a great plague - house]_{5365-a great plague - house} ? How [I]_0-i do still abhor - "_[0-i] [He]_0-i ground [his]_0-i teeth and was silent : [he]_0-i arrested [his]_0-i step and struck [his]_0-i boot against the hard ground . Some hated thought seemed to have [him]_0-i in its grip , and to hold [him]_0-i so tightly that [he]_0-i could not advance . [We]_1774-we were ascending [the avenue]_{1775-the avenue} when [he]_0-i thus paused ; [the hall]_{608-the hall} was before [us]_1774-we . Lifting [his]_0-i eye to its battlements , [he]_0-i cast over [them]_1777-them a glare such as [I]_0-i never saw before or since . Pain , shame , ire , impatience , disgust , detestation , seemed momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large pupil dilating under [his]_0-i ebon eyebrow . Wild was the wrestle which should be paramount ; but another feeling rose and triumphed : something hard and cynical : self - willed and resolute : it settled [his]_0-i passion and petrified [his]_0-i countenance : [he]_0-i went on - " During the moment [I]_0-i was silent , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [I]_0-i was arranging a point with [my]_0-i destiny . [She]_146-jane stood there , by that beech - trunk - a hag like [one of those who appeared to [Macbeth]_283-macbeth on [the heath of [Forres]_64-forres]_{5367-the heath of forres}]_{5366-one of those who appeared to macbeth on the heath of forres} . ' [You]_0-i like [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ? ' [she]_146-jane said , lifting [her]_146-jane finger ; and then [she]_146-jane wrote in the air a memento , which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along [the house]_{4322-the house} - front , between the upper and lower row of windows , ' Like it if [you]_0-i can ! Like it if [you]_0-i dare ! ' "_[0-i] ' [I]_0-i will like it , ' said [I]_0-i ; ' [I]_0-i dare like it ; ' and " [he]_0-i subjoined moodily "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will keep [my]_0-i word ; [I]_0-i will break obstacles to happiness , to goodness - yes , goodness . [I]_0-i wish to be [a better man]_{1778-a better man} than [I]_0-i have been , than [I]_0-i am ; as [Job]_199-job 's leviathan broke the spear , the dart , and the habergeon , hindrances which [others]_1041-others count as iron and brass , [I]_0-i will esteem but straw and rotten wood . " [Adele]_259-adele here ran before [him]_0-i with [her]_259-adele shuttlecock . "_[256-sophie] Away ! " [he]_0-i cried harshly ; "_[256-sophie] keep at a distance , [child]_4354-child ; or go in to [Sophie]_256-sophie ! " Continuing then to pursue [his]_0-i walk in silence , [I]_256-sophie ventured to recall [him]_0-i to the point whence [he]_0-i had abruptly diverged - "_[256-sophie] Did [you]_0-i leave [the balcony]_{5352-the balcony} , [sir]_4374-sir , " [I]_0-i asked , "_[0-i] when [Mdlle]_284-mdlle . [Varens]_281-celine entered ? " [I]_281-celine almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well - timed question , but , on the contrary , waking out of [his]_0-i scowling abstraction , [he]_0-i turned [his]_0-i eyes towards [me]_281-celine , and the shade seemed to clear off [his]_0-i brow . "_[281-celine] Oh , [I]_0-i had forgotten [Celine]_281-celine ! Well , to resume . When [I]_0-i saw [[my]_0-i charmer]_{1783-my charmer} thus come in accompanied by [a cavalier]_{1784-a cavalier} , [I]_0-i seemed to hear a hiss , and the green snake of jealousy , rising on undulating coils from [the moonlit balcony]_{1785-the moonlit balcony} , glided within [my]_0-i waistcoat , and ate its way in two minutes to [my]_0-i heart 's core . Strange ! " [he]_0-i exclaimed , suddenly starting again from the point . "_[0-i] Strange that [I]_0-i should choose [you]_1786-you for [the confidant of all this]_{1787-the confidant of all this} , [young lady]_{5252-young lady} ; passing strange that [you]_1786-you should listen to [me]_0-i quietly , as if it were the most usual thing in [the world]_{484-the world} for [a man like [me]_0-i]_{1790-a man like me} to tell stories of [his]_{1790-a man like me} opera - mistresses to [a quaint , inexperienced girl like [you]_1786-you]_{1791-a quaint , inexperienced girl like you} ! But the last singularity explains the first , as [I]_0-i intimated once before : [you]_1786-you , with [your]_1786-you gravity , considerateness , and caution were made to be the recipient of secrets . Besides , [I]_0-i know what sort of a mind [I]_0-i have placed in communication with [my]_0-i own : [I]_0-i know it is one not liable to take infection : it is a peculiar mind : it is a unique one . Happily [I]_0-i do not mean to harm [it]_1792-it : but , if [I]_0-i did , it would not take harm from [me]_0-i . The more [you]_1786-you and [I]_0-i converse , the better ; for while [I]_0-i can not blight [you]_1786-you , [you]_1786-you may refresh [me]_0-i . " After this digression [he]_0-i proceeded - "_[0-i] [I]_0-i remained in [the balcony]_{5352-the balcony} . ' [They]_1794-they will come to [[her]_1795-her boudoir]_{5351-her boudoir} , no doubt , ' thought [I]_0-i : ' let [me]_0-i prepare an ambush . ' So putting [my]_0-i hand in through the open window , [I]_0-i drew the curtain over it , leaving only an opening through which [I]_0-i could take observations ; then [I]_0-i closed the casement , all but a chink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to [lovers]_1797-lovers ' whispered vows : then [I]_0-i stole back to [my]_0-i chair ; and as [I]_0-i resumed it [the pair]_{1798-the pair} came in . [My]_0-i eye was quickly at the aperture . [[Celine]_281-celine 's chamber - maid]_{1799-celine 's chamber - maid} entered , lit a lamp , left it on the table , and withdrew . [The couple]_{1800-the couple} were thus revealed to [me]_0-i clearly : [both]_710-both removed [their]_710-both cloaks , and there was ' [the Varens]_281-celine , ' shining in satin and jewels , - [my]_0-i gifts of course , - and there was [[her]_281-celine companion]_{1802-her companion} in [an officer]_{1803-an officer} 's uniform ; and [I]_0-i knew [him]_{1802-her companion} for [a young roue of a vicomte]_{1804-a young roue of a vicomte} - [a brainless and vicious youth whom [I]_0-i had sometimes met in society , and had never thought of hating because [I]_0-i despised [him]_{1802-her companion} so absolutely]_{1805-a brainless and vicious youth whom i had sometimes met in society , and had never thought of hating because i despised him so absolutely} . On recognising [him]_{1802-her companion} , the fang of the snake Jealousy was instantly broken ; because at the same moment [my]_0-i love for [Celine]_281-celine sank under an extinguisher . [A woman who could betray [me]_0-i for [such a rival]_{1807-such a rival}]_{1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival} was not worth contending for ; [she]_{1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival} deserved only scorn ; less , however , than [I]_0-i , who had been [her]_{1806-a woman who could betray me for such a rival} dupe . " [They]_5369-they began to talk ; [their]_5369-they conversation eased [me]_259-adele completely : frivolous , mercenary , heartless , and senseless , it was rather calculated to weary than enrage [a listener]_{5370-a listener} . A card of mine lay on the table ; this being perceived , brought [my]_259-adele name under discussion . [Neither of [them]_5369-they]_{5371-neither of them} possessed energy or wit to belabour [me]_259-adele soundly , but [they]_5369-they insulted [me]_259-adele as coarsely as [they]_5369-they could in [their]_5369-they little way : especially [Celine]_281-celine , who even waxed rather brilliant on [my]_259-adele personal defects - deformities [she]_281-celine termed [them]_5369-they . Now it had been [her]_281-celine custom to launch out into fervent admiration of what [she]_281-celine called [my]_259-adele ' beaute male : ' wherein [she]_281-celine differed diametrically from [you]_259-adele , who told [me]_259-adele point - blank , at the second interview , that [you]_259-adele did not think [me]_259-adele handsome . The contrast struck [me]_259-adele at the time and - "_[259-adele] [Adele]_259-adele here came running up again . " [Monsieur]_{5372-monsieur} , [John]_{177-st. john} has just been to say that [[your]_{5372-monsieur} agent]_{5373-your agent} has called and wishes to see [you]_{5372-monsieur} . "_[259-adele] " Ah ! in that case [I]_259-adele must abridge . Opening the window , [I]_259-adele walked in upon [them]_{5373-your agent} ; liberated [Celine]_281-celine from [my]_259-adele protection ; gave [her]_281-celine notice to vacate [[her]_281-celine hotel]_{5374-her hotel} ; offered [her]_281-celine a purse for immediate exigencies ; disregarded screams , hysterics , prayers , protestations , convulsions ; made an appointment with [the vicomte]_{5375-the vicomte} for a meeting at [the Bois de Boulogne]_{5376-the bois de boulogne} . Next morning [I]_259-adele had the pleasure of encountering [him]_{177-st. john} ; left a bullet in one of [his]_{177-st. john} poor etiolated arms , feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip , and then thought [I]_259-adele had done with [the whole crew]_{5377-the whole crew} . But unluckily [the Varens]_281-celine , six months before , had given [me]_259-adele this filette [Adele]_259-adele , who , [she]_259-adele affirmed , was [[my]_259-adele daughter]_{5378-my daughter} ; and perhaps [she]_259-adele may be , though [I]_259-adele see no proofs of such grim paternity written in [her]_259-adele countenance : [Pilot]_267-pilot is more like [me]_259-adele than [she]_259-adele . Some years after [I]_259-adele had broken with [the mother]_{542-the mother} , [she]_259-adele abandoned [[her]_259-adele child]_{5380-her child} , and ran away to [Italy]_65-italy with [a musician]_{5381-a musician} or [singer]_5382-singer . [I]_259-adele acknowledged no natural claim on [Adele]_259-adele 's part to be supported by [me]_259-adele , nor do [I]_259-adele now acknowledge any , for [I]_259-adele am not [[her]_259-adele father]_{1141-her father} ; but hearing that [she]_259-adele was quite destitute , [I]_259-adele e'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of [Paris]_62-paris , and transplanted it here , to grow up clean in [the wholesome soil]_{5384-the wholesome soil} of [an English country garden]_{5385-an english country garden} . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} found [you]_259-adele to train [it]_{5380-her child} ; but now [you]_259-adele know that it is [the illegitimate offspring of [a French opera- girl]_{5387-a french opera- girl}]_{5386-the illegitimate offspring of a french opera- girl} , [you]_259-adele will perhaps think differently of [your]_259-adele post and protegee : [you]_259-adele will be coming to [me]_259-adele some day with notice that [you]_259-adele have found another place - that [you]_259-adele beg [me]_259-adele to look out for [a new governess]_{1405-a new governess} , c. - Eh ? "_[259-adele] " No : [Adele]_259-adele is not answerable for either [[her]_259-adele mother]_{767-her mother} 's faults or [yours]_259-adele : [I]_{1808-battledore and shuttlecock} have a regard for [her]_259-adele ; and now that [I]_{1808-battledore and shuttlecock} know [she]_259-adele is , in a sense , parentless - forsaken by [[her]_259-adele mother]_{767-her mother} and disowned by [you]_259-adele , [sir]_4374-sir - [I]_{1808-battledore and shuttlecock} shall cling closer to [her]_259-adele than before . How could [I]_{1808-battledore and shuttlecock} possibly prefer the spoilt pet of [a wealthy family , who would hate [[her]_259-adele governess]_{1479-her governess} as a nuisance , to [a lonely little orphan , who leans towards [her]_259-adele as [a friend]_{5395-a friend}]_{5394-a lonely little orphan , who leans towards her as a friend}]_{5392-a wealthy family , who would hate her governess as a nuisance , to a lonely little orphan , who leans towards her as a friend} ? "_{[1808-battledore and shuttlecock]} " Oh , that is the light in which [you]_259-adele view it ! Well , [I]_0-i must go in now ; and [you]_259-adele too : it darkens . "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i stayed out a few minutes longer with [Adele]_259-adele and [Pilot]_267-pilot - ran a race with [her]_259-adele , and played a game of [battledore and shuttlecock]_{1808-battledore and shuttlecock} . When [we]_1809-we went in , and [I]_0-i had removed [her]_259-adele bonnet and coat , [I]_0-i took [her]_259-adele on [my]_0-i knee ; kept [her]_259-adele there an hour , allowing [her]_259-adele to prattle as [she]_259-adele liked : not rebuking even some little freedoms and trivialities into which [she]_259-adele was apt to stray when much noticed , and which betrayed in [her]_259-adele a superficiality of character , inherited probably from [[her]_259-adele mother]_{767-her mother} , hardly congenial to an English mind . Still [she]_259-adele had [her]_259-adele merits ; and [I]_0-i was disposed to appreciate all that was good in [her]_259-adele to the utmost . [I]_0-i sought in [her]_259-adele countenance and features a likeness to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , but found none : no trait , no turn of expression announced relationship . It was a pity : if [she]_259-adele could but have been proved to resemble [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would have thought more of [her]_259-adele . It was not till after [I]_0-i had withdrawn to [[my]_0-i own chamber]_{1811-my own chamber} for the night , that [I]_0-i steadily reviewed the tale [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had told [me]_0-i . As [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had said , there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of the narrative itself : [a wealthy Englishman]_{1812-a wealthy englishman} 's passion for [a French dancer]_{1813-a french dancer} , and [her]_{1813-a french dancer} treachery to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , were everyday matters enough , no doubt , in society ; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of emotion which had suddenly seized [him]_{251-mr. rochester} when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was in the act of expressing the present contentment of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} mood , and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} newly revived pleasure in [the old hall]_{1814-the old hall} and [[its]_{1814-the old hall} environs]_{1815-its environs} . [I]_0-i meditated wonderingly on this incident ; but gradually quitting it , as [I]_0-i found it for the present inexplicable , [I]_0-i turned to the consideration of [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's manner to [myself]_0-i . The confidence [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had thought fit to repose in [me]_0-i seemed a tribute to [my]_0-i discretion : [I]_0-i regarded and accepted it as such . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} deportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards [me]_0-i than at the first . [I]_0-i never seemed in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} way ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did not take fits of chilling hauteur : when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} met [me]_0-i unexpectedly , the encounter seemed welcome ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had always a word and sometimes a smile for [me]_0-i : when summoned by formal invitation to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence , [I]_0-i was honoured by a cordiality of reception that made [me]_0-i feel [I]_0-i really possessed the power to amuse [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , and that these evening conferences were sought as much for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} pleasure as for [my]_0-i benefit . [I]_0-i , indeed , talked comparatively little , but [I]_0-i heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} talk with relish . It was [his]_{251-mr. rochester} nature to be communicative ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} liked to open to a mind unacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways [I]_0-i do not mean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways , but such as derived [their]_1817-their interest from the great scale on which they were acted , the strange novelty by which they were characterised ; and [I]_0-i had a keen delight in receiving the new ideas [he]_{251-mr. rochester} offered , in imagining the new pictures [he]_{251-mr. rochester} portrayed , and following [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in thought through the new regions [he]_{251-mr. rochester} disclosed , never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion . The ease of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} manner freed [me]_0-i from painful restraint : the friendly frankness , as correct as cordial , with which [he]_{251-mr. rochester} treated [me]_0-i , drew [me]_0-i to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i felt at times as if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} were [[my]_0-i relation]_{1818-my relation} rather than [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} : yet [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was imperious sometimes still ; but [I]_0-i did not mind that ; [I]_0-i saw it was [his]_{251-mr. rochester} way . So happy , so gratified did [I]_0-i become with this new interest added to life , that [I]_0-i ceased to pine after kindred : [my]_0-i thin crescent - destiny seemed to enlarge ; the blanks of existence were filled up ; [my]_0-i bodily health improved ; [I]_0-i gathered flesh and strength . And was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} now ugly in [my]_0-i eyes ? No , [reader]_496-reader : gratitude , and many associations , all pleasurable and genial , made [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face the object [I]_0-i best liked to see ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence in [a room]_{4381-a room} was more cheering than the brightest fire . Yet [I]_0-i had not forgotten [his]_{251-mr. rochester} faults ; indeed , [I]_0-i could not , for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} brought them frequently before [me]_0-i . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was proud , sardonic , harsh to inferiority of every description : in [my]_0-i secret soul [I]_0-i knew that [his]_{251-mr. rochester} great kindness to [me]_0-i was balanced by unjust severity to [many others]_{1822-many others} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was moody , too ; unaccountably so ; [I]_0-i more than once , when sent for to read to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , found [him]_{251-mr. rochester} sitting in [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} library]_{1823-his library} alone , with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} head bent on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} folded arms ; and , when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked up , a morose , almost a malignant , scowl blackened [his]_{251-mr. rochester} features . But [I]_0-i believed that [his]_{251-mr. rochester} moodiness , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} harshness , and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} former faults of morality [I]_0-i say FORMER , for now [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed corrected of [them]_1824-them had [their]_1824-them source in some cruel cross of fate . [I]_0-i believed [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was naturally [a man of better tendencies , higher principles , and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed , education]_{1825-a man of better tendencies , higher principles , and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed , education} instilled , or destiny encouraged . [I]_0-i thought there were excellent materials in [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; though for the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and tangled . [I]_0-i can not deny that [I]_0-i grieved for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} grief , whatever that was , and would have given much to assuage it . Though [I]_0-i had now extinguished [my]_0-i candle and was laid down in bed , [I]_0-i could not sleep for thinking of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} look when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} paused in [the avenue]_{1775-the avenue} , and told how [his]_{251-mr. rochester} destiny had risen up before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , and dared [him]_{251-mr. rochester} to be happy at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . " Why not ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked [myself]_0-i . " What alienates [him]_{251-mr. rochester} from [the house]_{4322-the house} ? Will [he]_{251-mr. rochester} leave [it]_{43-thornfield} again soon ? [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seldom stayed [here]_4312-here longer than a fortnight at a time ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has now been resident eight weeks . If [he]_{251-mr. rochester} does go , the change will be doleful . Suppose [he]_{251-mr. rochester} should be absent spring , summer , and autumn : how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hardly know whether [I]_0-i had slept or not after this musing ; at any rate , [I]_0-i started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur , peculiar and lugubrious , which sounded , [I]_0-i thought , just above [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i wished [I]_0-i had kept [my]_0-i candle burning : the night was drearily dark ; [my]_0-i spirits were depressed . [I]_0-i rose and sat up in bed , listening . The sound was hushed . [I]_0-i tried again to sleep ; but [my]_0-i heart beat anxiously : [my]_0-i inward tranquillity was broken . The clock , far down in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , struck two . Just then it seemed [[my]_0-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} - door was touched ; as if fingers had swept the panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside . [I]_0-i said , " Who is there ? "_[0-i] Nothing answered . [I]_0-i was chilled with fear . All at once [I]_0-i remembered that it might be [Pilot]_267-pilot , who , when the [kitchen]_572-kitchen - door chanced to be left open , not unfrequently found [his]_267-pilot way up to the threshold of [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's chamber]_{1830-mr. rochester 's chamber} : [I]_0-i had seen [him]_267-pilot lying there [myself]_0-i in the mornings . The idea calmed [me]_0-i somewhat : [I]_0-i lay down . Silence composes the nerves ; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through [the whole house]_{1831-the whole house} , [I]_0-i began to feel the return of slumber . But it was not fated that [I]_0-i should sleep that night . A dream had scarcely approached [my]_0-i ear , when it fled affrighted , scared by a marrow - freezing incident enough . This was a demoniac laugh - low , suppressed , and deep - uttered , as it seemed , at the very keyhole of [my]_0-i chamber door . The head of [my]_0-i bed was near the door , and [I]_0-i thought at first [the goblin - laugher]_{1832-the goblin - laugher} stood at [my]_0-i bedside - or rather , crouched by [my]_0-i pillow : but [I]_0-i rose , looked round , and could see nothing ; while , as [I]_0-i still gazed , the unnatural sound was reiterated : and [I]_0-i knew it came from behind the panels . [My]_0-i first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt ; [my]_0-i next , again to cry out , " Who is there ? "_[0-i] Something gurgled and moaned . Ere long , steps retreated up [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} towards [the third - storey staircase]_{1834-the third - storey staircase} : a door had lately been made to shut in [that staircase]_{1835-that staircase} ; [I]_0-i heard it open and close , and all was still . " Was that [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} ? and is [she]_{263-grace poole} possessed with [a devil]_{5398-a devil} ? "_[0-i] thought [I.]_0-i Impossible now to remain longer by [myself]_0-i : [I]_0-i must go to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [I]_0-i hurried on [my]_0-i frock and a shawl ; [I]_0-i withdrew the bolt and opened the door with a trembling hand . There was a candle burning just outside , and on the matting in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . [I]_0-i was surprised at this circumstance : but still more was [I]_0-i amazed to perceive the air quite dim , as if filled with smoke ; and , while looking to the right hand and left , to find whence these blue wreaths issued , [I]_0-i became further aware of a strong smell of burning . Something creaked : it was a door ajar ; and that door was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's , and the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence . [I]_0-i thought no more of [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; [I]_0-i thought no more of [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} , or the laugh : in an instant , [I]_0-i was within [the chamber]_{4856-the chamber} . Tongues of flame darted round the bed : the curtains were on fire . In the midst of blaze and vapour , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} lay stretched motionless , in deep sleep . " Wake ! wake ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i cried . [I]_0-i shook [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} only murmured and turned : the smoke had stupefied [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Not a moment could be lost : the very sheets were kindling , [I]_0-i rushed to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} basin and ewer ; fortunately , one was wide and the other deep , and both were filled with water . [I]_0-i heaved them up , deluged the bed and [its occupant]_{1838-its occupant} , flew back to [[my]_0-i own room]_{4855-my own room} , brought [my]_0-i own water - jug , baptized the couch afresh , and , by [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's aid , succeeded in extinguishing the flames which were devouring it . The hiss of the quenched element , the breakage of a pitcher which [I]_0-i flung from [my]_0-i hand when [I]_0-i had emptied it , and , above all , the splash of the shower - bath [I]_0-i had liberally bestowed , roused [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} at last . Though it was now dark , [I]_0-i knew [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was awake ; because [I]_0-i heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} fulminating strange anathemas at finding [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} lying in a pool of water . " Is there a flood ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} cried . " No , [sir]_4374-sir , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i answered ; " but there has been a fire : get up , do ; [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are quenched now ; [I]_0-i will fetch [you]_{251-mr. rochester} a candle . "_[0-i] " In the name of [all the elves in [Christendom]_{66-christendom}]_{5400-all the elves in christendom} , is that [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} demanded . " What have [you]_{251-mr. rochester} done with [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , [witch]_5401-witch , [sorceress]_{5402-sorceress} ? Who is in [the room]_{535-the room} besides [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Have [you]_{251-mr. rochester} plotted to drown [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_0-i will fetch [you]_{251-mr. rochester} a candle , [sir]_4374-sir ; and , in [Heaven]_285-heaven 's name , get up . [Somebody]_{4813-somebody} has plotted something : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} can not too soon find out who and what it is . "_[0-i] " There ! [I]_0-i am up now ; but at [your]_{251-mr. rochester} peril [you]_{251-mr. rochester} fetch a candle yet : wait two minutes till [I]_0-i get into some dry garments , if any dry there be - yes , here is [my]_0-i dressing - gown . Now run ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did run ; [I]_0-i brought the candle which still remained in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . [He]_1841-you took it from [my]_0-i hand , held it up , and surveyed the bed , all blackened and scorched , the sheets drenched , the carpet round swimming in water . " What is it ? and who did it ? "_[1841-you] [he]_1841-you asked . [I]_0-i briefly related to [him]_1841-you what had transpired : the strange laugh [I]_0-i had heard in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} : the step ascending to [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey} ; the smoke , - the smell of fire which had conducted [me]_0-i to [[his]_1841-you room]_{1844-his room} ; in what state [I]_0-i had found matters [there]_4426-there , and how [I]_0-i had deluged [him]_1841-you with all the water [I]_0-i could lay hands on . [He]_1841-you listened very gravely ; [his]_1841-you face , as [I]_0-i went on , expressed more concern than astonishment ; [he]_1841-you did not immediately speak when [I]_0-i had concluded . " Shall [I]_0-i call [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? No ; what the deuce would [you]_0-i call [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} for ? What can [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} do ? Let [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} sleep unmolested . "_[0-i] " Then [I]_0-i will fetch [Leah]_195-bessie , and wake [John]_{177-st. john} and [[his]_{177-st. john} wife]_{4986-his wife} . "_[0-i] " Not at all : just be still . [You]_1841-you have a shawl on . If [you]_1841-you are not warm enough , [you]_1841-you may take [my]_1846-i cloak yonder ; wrap it about [you]_1841-you , and sit down in the arm - chair : there , - [I]_1846-i will put it on . Now place [your]_1841-you feet on the stool , to keep them out of the wet . [I]_1846-i am going to leave [you]_1841-you a few minutes . [I]_1846-i shall take the candle . Remain where [you]_1841-you are till [I]_1846-i return ; be as still as a mouse . [I]_1846-i must pay a visit to [the second storey]_{5407-the second storey} . Do n't move , remember , or call [any one]_{591-any one} . "_[1846-i] [He]_1846-i went : [I]_0-i watched the light withdraw . [He]_1846-i passed up [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} very softly , unclosed the staircase door with as little noise as possible , shut it after [him]_1846-i , and the last ray vanished . [I]_0-i was left in total darkness . [I]_0-i listened for some noise , but heard nothing . A very long time elapsed . [I]_0-i grew weary : it was cold , in spite of the cloak ; and then [I]_0-i did not see the use of staying , as [I]_0-i was not to rouse [the house]_{4322-the house} . [I]_0-i was on the point of risking [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's displeasure by disobeying [his]_{251-mr. rochester} orders , when the light once more gleamed dimly on [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} wall , and [I]_0-i heard [his]_1846-i unshod feet tread the matting . " [I]_0-i hope it is [he]_1846-i , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " and not something worse . "_[0-i] [He]_1846-i re - entered , pale and very gloomy . " [I]_1846-i have found it all out , "_[1846-i] said [he]_1846-i , setting [his]_1846-i candle down on the washstand ; " it is as [I]_1846-i thought . "_[1846-i] " How , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[1846-i] [He]_1846-i made no reply , but stood with [his]_1846-i arms folded , looking on the ground . At the end of a few minutes [he]_1846-i inquired in rather a peculiar tone - " [I]_1846-i forget whether [you]_4374-sir said [you]_4374-sir saw anything when [you]_4374-sir opened [your]_4374-sir chamber door . "_[1846-i] " No , [sir]_4374-sir , only the candlestick on the ground . "_[1846-i] " But [you]_4374-sir heard an odd laugh ? [You]_4374-sir have heard that laugh before , [I]_1846-i should think , or something like it ? "_[1846-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir : there is [a woman who sews [here]_4312-here]_{5412-a woman who sews here} , called [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} , - [she]_{5412-a woman who sews here} laughs in that way . [She]_{5412-a woman who sews here} is [a singular person]_{5414-a singular person} . "_[1846-i] " Just so . [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} - [you]_4374-sir have guessed it . [She]_{5412-a woman who sews here} is , as [you]_4374-sir say , singular - very . Well , [I]_1846-i shall reflect on the subject . Meantime , [I]_1846-i am glad that [you]_4374-sir are [the only person , besides [myself]_1846-i]_{5415-the only person , besides myself} , acquainted with the precise details of to - night 's incident . [You]_4374-sir are [no talking fool]_{5416-no talking fool} : say nothing about it . [I]_1846-i will account for this state of affairs "_[1846-i] pointing to the bed : " and now return to [[your]_4374-sir own room]_{5417-your own room} . [I]_1846-i shall do very well on the sofa in [the library]_{659-the library} for the rest of the night . It is near four:- in two hours [the servants]_{546-the servants} will be up . "_[1846-i] " Good - night , then , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , departing . [He]_1850-he seemed surprised - very inconsistently so , as [he]_1850-he had just told [me]_0-i to go . " What ! "_[1850-he] [he]_1850-he exclaimed , " are [you]_0-i quitting [me]_1850-he already , and in that way ? "_[1850-he] " [You]_0-i said [I]_1850-he might go , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[1850-he] " But not without taking leave ; not without a word or two of acknowledgment and good - will : not , in short , in that brief , dry fashion . Why , [you]_0-i have saved [my]_1850-he life ! - snatched [me]_1850-he from a horrible and excruciating death ! and [you]_0-i walk past [me]_1850-he as if [we]_5422-we were [mutual strangers]_{5423-mutual strangers} ! At least shake hands . "_[1850-he] [He]_1850-he held out [his]_1850-he hand ; [I]_0-i gave [him]_1850-he [mine]_0-i : [he]_1850-he took it first in one , them in both [his]_1850-he own . " [You]_0-i have saved [my]_1850-he life : [I]_1850-he have a pleasure in owing [you]_0-i so immense a debt . [I]_1850-he can not say more . Nothing else that has being would have been tolerable to [me]_1850-he in the character of [creditor for such an obligation]_{5424-creditor for such an obligation} : but [you]_0-i : it is different ; - [I]_1850-he feel [your]_0-i benefits no burden , [Jane]_146-jane . "_[1850-he] [He]_1850-he paused ; gazed at [me]_0-i : words almost visible trembled on [his]_1850-he lips,- -but [his]_1850-he voice was checked . " Good - night again , [sir]_4374-sir . There is no debt , benefit , burden , obligation , in the case . "_[1850-he] " [I]_1850-he knew , "_[1850-he] [he]_1850-he continued , " [you]_0-i would do [me]_1850-he good in some way , at some time ; - [I]_1850-he saw it in [your]_0-i eyes when [I]_1850-he first beheld [you]_0-i : [their]_5426-their expression and smile did not "_[1850-he] - again [he]_1850-he stopped - " did not "_[1850-he] [he]_1850-he proceeded hastily ' strike delight to [my]_0-i very inmost heart so for nothing . [People]_4493-people talk of natural sympathies ; [I]_0-i have heard of [good genii]_{1852-good genii} : there are grains of truth in the wildest fable . [[My]_0-i cherished preserver]_{1853-my cherished preserver} , goodnight ! " Strange energy was in [his]_1850-he voice , strange fire in [his]_1850-he look . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am glad [I]_0-i happened to be awake , " [I]_0-i said : and then [I]_0-i was going . "_[0-i] What ! [you]_1850-he WILL go ? " "_[1850-he] [I]_0-i am cold , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] Cold ? Yes , - and standing in [a pool]_{1855-a pool} ! Go , then , [Jane]_146-jane ; go ! " But [he]_1850-he still retained [my]_0-i hand , and [I]_0-i could not free it . [I]_0-i bethought [myself]_0-i of an expedient . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i hear [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} move , [sir]_4374-sir , " said [I.]_0-i "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} Well , leave [me]_0-i : " [he]_1850-he relaxed [his]_1850-he fingers , and [I]_0-i was gone . [I]_0-i regained [my]_0-i couch , but never thought of sleep . Till morning dawned [I]_0-i was tossed on [a buoyant but unquiet sea]_{5427-a buoyant but unquiet sea} , where billows of trouble rolled under surges of joy . [I]_0-i thought sometimes [I]_0-i saw beyond [its]_{5427-a buoyant but unquiet sea} wild waters a shore , sweet as [the hills of [Beulah]_67-beulah]_{5428-the hills of beulah} ; and now and then a freshening gale , wakened by hope , bore [my]_0-i spirit triumphantly towards [the bourne]_{5429-the bourne} : but [I]_0-i could not reach it , even in fancy - a counteracting breeze blew off [land]_5430-land , and continually drove [me]_0-i back . [Sense]_286-sense would resist delirium : judgment would warn passion . Too feverish to rest , [I]_0-i rose as soon as day dawned . CHAPTER XVI [I]_0-i both wished and feared to see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} on the day which followed this sleepless night : [I]_0-i wanted to hear [his]_{251-mr. rochester} voice again , yet feared to meet [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eye . During the early part of the morning , [I]_0-i momentarily expected [his]_{251-mr. rochester} coming ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not in the frequent habit of entering [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} , but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did step in for a few minutes sometimes , and [I]_0-i had the impression that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was sure to visit [it]_{888-the schoolroom} that day . But the morning passed just as usual : nothing happened to interrupt the quiet course of [Adele]_259-adele 's studies ; only soon after breakfast , [I]_0-i heard some bustle in [the neighbourhood]_{1738-the neighbourhood} of [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's chamber]_{1830-mr. rochester 's chamber} , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's voice , and [Leah]_195-bessie 's , and [the cook]_{5434-the cook} 's - that is , [[John]_{177-st. john} 's wife]_{5435-john 's wife} - and even [John]_{177-st. john} 's own gruff tones . There were exclamations of "_[0-i] What [a mercy master]_{1857-a mercy master} was not burnt in [his]_{1857-a mercy master} bed ! " "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at night . " "_{[1857-a mercy master]} How providential that [he]_{1857-a mercy master} had presence of mind to think of the water - jug ! " "_{[1857-a mercy master]} [I]_0-i wonder [he]_{1857-a mercy master} waked [nobody]_4628-nobody ! " "_{[1857-a mercy master]} It is to be hoped [he]_{1857-a mercy master} will not take cold with sleeping on the library sofa , " c. To much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to rights ; and when [I]_{1857-a mercy master} passed [the room]_{535-the room} , in going [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} to dinner , [I]_{1857-a mercy master} saw through the open door that all was again restored to complete order ; only the bed was stripped of [its]_5438-its hangings . [Leah]_195-bessie stood up in the window - seat , rubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke . [I]_{1857-a mercy master} was about to address [her]_195-bessie , for [I]_{1857-a mercy master} wished to know what account had been given of the affair : but , on advancing , [I]_{1857-a mercy master} saw [a second person]_{5439-a second person} in [the chamber]_{4856-the chamber} - [a woman]_{4399-a woman} sitting on a chair by the bedside , and sewing rings to new curtains . [That woman]_{5442-that woman} was no other than [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} . There [she]_{5442-that woman} sat , staid and taciturn - looking , as usual , in [her]_{5442-that woman} brown stuff gown , [her]_{5442-that woman} check apron , white handkerchief , and cap . [She]_{5442-that woman} was intent on [her]_{5442-that woman} work , in which [her]_{5442-that woman} whole thoughts seemed absorbed : on [her]_{5442-that woman} hard forehead , and in [her]_{5442-that woman} commonplace features , was nothing either of the paleness or desperation [one]_4415-one would have expected to see marking the countenance of [a woman who had attempted murder]_{5444-a woman who had attempted murder} , and whose intended victim had followed [her]_{5442-that woman} last night to [[her]_{5442-that woman} lair]_{5445-her lair} , and as [I]_{1857-a mercy master} believed , charged [her]_{5442-that woman} with the crime [she]_{5442-that woman} wished to perpetrate . [I]_{1857-a mercy master} was amazed - confounded . [She]_{5442-that woman} looked up , while [I]_{1857-a mercy master} still gazed at [her]_{5442-that woman} : no start , no increase or failure of colour betrayed emotion , consciousness of guilt , or fear of detection . [She]_{5442-that woman} said "_{[1857-a mercy master]} Good morning , [Miss]_1859-miss , " in [her]_{5442-that woman} usual phlegmatic and brief manner ; and taking up another ring and more tape , went on with [her]_{5442-that woman} sewing . "_[1859-miss] [I]_0-i will put [her]_1860-she to some test , " thought [I]_0-i : ' such absolute impenetrability is past comprehension . "_[0-i] " Good morning , [Grace]_{263-grace poole} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " Has anything happened here ? [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i heard [the servants]_{546-the servants} all talking together a while ago . "_[0-i] " [Only master]_{5447-only master} had been reading in [his]_{5447-only master} bed last night ; [he]_{5447-only master} fell asleep with [his]_{5447-only master} candle lit , and the curtains got on fire ; but , fortunately , [he]_{5447-only master} awoke before the bed - clothes or the wood - work caught , and contrived to quench the flames with the water in the ewer . "_[0-i] " A strange affair ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , in a low voice : then , looking at [her]_1860-she fixedly - " Did [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} wake [nobody]_4628-nobody ? Did [no one]_{593-no one} hear [him]_{251-mr. rochester} move ? "_[1860-she] [She]_1860-she again raised [her]_1860-she eyes to [me]_0-i , and this time there was something of consciousness in [their]_1861-their expression . [She]_1860-she seemed to examine [me]_0-i warily ; then [she]_1860-she answered - " [The servants]_{546-the servants} sleep so far off , [you]_0-i know , [Miss]_5451-miss , [they]_{546-the servants} would not be likely to hear . [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's room]_{1553-mrs. fairfax 's room} and [yours]_0-i are [the nearest to [master]_4335-master 's]_{5453-the nearest to master 's} ; but [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} heard nothing : when [people]_4493-people get elderly , [they]_4493-people often sleep heavy . "_[1860-she] [She]_1860-she paused , and then added , with a sort of assumed indifference , but still in a marked and significant tone - " But [you]_0-i are young , [Miss]_5456-miss ; and [I]_1860-she should say a light sleeper : perhaps [you]_0-i may have heard a noise ? "_[1860-she] " [I]_0-i did , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , dropping [my]_0-i voice , so that [Leah]_195-bessie , who was still polishing the panes , could not hear [me]_0-i , " and at first [I]_1860-she thought it was [Pilot]_267-pilot : but [Pilot]_267-pilot can not laugh ; and [I]_1860-she am certain [I]_1860-she heard a laugh , and a strange one . "_[1860-she] [She]_1860-she took a new needleful of thread , waxed it carefully , threaded [her]_1860-she needle with a steady hand , and then observed , with perfect composure - " It is hardly likely [master]_4335-master would laugh , [I]_1860-she should think , [Miss]_5458-miss , when [he]_4335-master was in such danger : [You]_0-i must have been dreaming . "_[1860-she] " [I]_0-i was not dreaming , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , with some warmth , for [her]_1860-she brazen coolness provoked [me]_0-i . Again [she]_1860-she looked at [me]_0-i ; and with the same scrutinising and conscious eye . " Have [you]_0-i told [master]_4335-master that [you]_0-i heard a laugh ? "_[1860-she] [she]_1860-she inquired . " [I]_1860-she have not had the opportunity of speaking to [him]_4335-master this morning . "_[1860-she] " [You]_0-i did not think of opening [your]_0-i door and looking out into [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} ? "_[1860-she] [she]_1860-she further asked . [She]_1860-she appeared to be cross - questioning [me]_0-i , attempting to draw from [me]_0-i information unawares . The idea struck [me]_0-i that if [she]_1860-she discovered [I]_0-i knew or suspected [her]_1860-she guilt , [she]_1860-she would be playing of some of [her]_1860-she malignant pranks on [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i thought it advisable to be on [my]_0-i guard . " On the contrary , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , " [I]_0-i bolted [my]_0-i door . "_[0-i] " Then [you]_0-i are not in the habit of bolting [your]_0-i door every night before [you]_0-i get into bed ? "_[1860-she] " [Fiend]_737-fiend ! [she]_1860-she wants to know [my]_0-i habits , that [she]_1860-she may lay [her]_1860-she plans accordingly ! "_[0-i] Indignation again prevailed over prudence : [I]_0-i replied sharply , " Hitherto [I]_0-i have often omitted to fasten the bolt : [I]_0-i did not think it necessary . [I]_0-i was not aware any danger or annoyance was to be dreaded at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} : but in future "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i laid marked stress on the words " [I]_0-i shall take good care to make all secure before [I]_0-i venture to lie down . "_[0-i] " It will be wise so to do , "_[1862-i] was [her]_1862-i answer : " [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood} is as quiet as any [I]_1862-i know , and [I]_1862-i never heard of [the hall]_{608-the hall} being attempted by [robbers]_5464-robbers since [it]_{608-the hall} was [a house]_{4534-a house} ; though there are hundreds of pounds ' worth of plate in the plate - closet , as is well known . And [you]_5466-you see , for such [a large house]_{5467-a large house} , there are [very few servants]_{5468-very few servants} , because [master]_4335-master has never lived [here]_4312-here much ; and when [he]_4335-master does come , being [a bachelor]_{5471-a bachelor} , [he]_4335-master needs little waiting on : but [I]_1862-i always think it best to err on the safe side ; a door is soon fastened , and it is as well to have a drawn bolt between one and any mischief that may be about . A deal of [people]_4493-people , [Miss]_5473-miss , are for trusting all to [Providence]_{272-providence} ; but [I]_1862-i say [Providence]_{272-providence} will not dispense with the means , though [He]_4335-master often blesses them when they are used discreetly . "_[1862-i] And here [she]_1863-her closed [her]_1863-her harangue : a long one for [her]_1863-her , and uttered with the demureness of [a Quakeress]_{1864-a quakeress} . [I]_0-i still stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared to [me]_0-i [her]_1863-her miraculous self - possession and most inscrutable hypocrisy , when [the cook]_{5434-the cook} entered . " [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} , "_{[5434-the cook]} said [she]_{5434-the cook} , addressing [Grace]_{263-grace poole} , " [the servants]_{546-the servants} ' dinner will soon be ready : will [you]_{287-mrs. poole} come down ? "_{[5434-the cook]} " No ; just put [my]_{5434-the cook} pint of porter and bit of pudding on a tray , and [I]_{5434-the cook} 'll carry it [upstairs]_552-upstairs . "_{[5434-the cook]} " [You]_{5434-the cook} 'll have some meat ? "_{[5434-the cook]} " Just a morsel , and a taste of cheese , that 's all . "_{[5434-the cook]} " And the sago ? "_{[5434-the cook]} " Never mind it at present : [I]_{5434-the cook} shall be coming down before teatime : [I]_{5434-the cook} 'll make it [myself]_{5434-the cook} . "_{[5434-the cook]} [The cook]_{5434-the cook} here turned to [me]_0-i , saying that [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was waiting for [me]_0-i : so [I]_0-i departed . [I]_0-i hardly heard [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's account of the curtain conflagration during dinner , so much was [I]_0-i occupied in puzzling [my]_0-i brains over the enigmatical character of [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} , and still more in pondering the problem of [her]_{263-grace poole} position at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} and questioning why [she]_{263-grace poole} had not been given into custody that morning , or , at the very least , dismissed from [[her]_{263-grace poole} master]_{1867-her master} 's service . [He]_{1867-her master} had almost as much as declared [his]_{1867-her master} conviction of [her]_{263-grace poole} criminality last night : what mysterious cause withheld [him]_{1867-her master} from accusing [her]_{263-grace poole} ? Why had [he]_{1867-her master} enjoined [me]_0-i , too , to secrecy ? It was strange : [a bold , vindictive , and haughty gentleman]_{1868-a bold , vindictive , and haughty gentleman} seemed somehow in the power of [one of the meanest of [[his]_{1867-her master} dependants]_{1870-his dependants}]_{1869-one of the meanest of his dependants} ; so much in [her]_{263-grace poole} power , that even when [she]_{263-grace poole} lifted [her]_{263-grace poole} hand against [his]_{1867-her master} life , [he]_{1867-her master} dared not openly charge [her]_{263-grace poole} with the attempt , much less punish [her]_{263-grace poole} for it . Had [Grace]_{263-grace poole} been young and handsome , [I]_0-i should have been tempted to think that tenderer feelings than prudence or fear influenced [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} in [her]_{263-grace poole} behalf ; but , hard - favoured and matronly as [she]_{263-grace poole} was , the idea could not be admitted . " Yet , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i reflected , ' [she]_{263-grace poole} has been young once ; [her]_{263-grace poole} youth would be contemporary with [[her]_{263-grace poole} master]_{1867-her master} 's : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} told [me]_0-i once , [she]_{263-grace poole} had lived [here]_4312-here many years . [I]_0-i do n't think [she]_{263-grace poole} can ever have been pretty ; but , for aught [I]_0-i know , [she]_{263-grace poole} may possess originality and strength of character to compensate for the want of personal advantages . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is [an amateur of the decided and eccentric]_{1873-an amateur of the decided and eccentric} : [Grace]_{263-grace poole} is eccentric at least . What if [a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as [his]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his}]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his} has delivered [him]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his} into [her]_{263-grace poole} power , and [she]_{263-grace poole} now exercises over [his]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his} actions a secret influence , the result of [his]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his} own indiscretion , which [he]_{1874-a former caprice a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his} can not shake off , and dare not disregard ? " But , having reached this point of conjecture , [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} 's square , flat figure , and uncomely , dry , even coarse face , recurred so distinctly to [my]_{263-grace poole} mind 's eye , that [I]_{263-grace poole} thought , "_{[263-grace poole]} No ; impossible ! [my]_0-i supposition can not be correct . Yet , " suggested the secret voice which talks to [us]_5476-us in [our]_5476-us own hearts , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [you]_1875-you are not beautiful either , and perhaps [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} approves [you]_1875-you : at any rate , [you]_1875-you have often felt as if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did ; and last night - remember [his]_{251-mr. rochester} words ; remember [his]_{251-mr. rochester} look ; remember [his]_{251-mr. rochester} voice ! " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} well remembered all ; language , glance , and tone seemed at the moment vividly renewed . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was now in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} ; [Adele]_259-adele was drawing ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} bent over [her]_259-adele and directed [her]_259-adele pencil . [She]_259-adele looked up with a sort of start . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Qu ' avez - vous , mademoiselle ? " said [she]_259-adele . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Vos doigts tremblent comme la feuille , et vos joues sont rouges : mais , rouges comme des cerises ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am hot , [Adele]_259-adele , with stooping ! " [She]_259-adele went on sketching ; [I]_259-adele went on thinking . [I]_259-adele hastened to drive from [my]_259-adele mind the hateful notion [I]_259-adele had been conceiving respecting [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} ; it disgusted [me]_259-adele . [I]_259-adele compared [myself]_259-adele with [her]_259-adele , and found [we]_5478-we were different . [Bessie Leaven]_{288-bessie leaven} had said [I]_259-adele was quite [a lady]_{4932-a lady} ; and [she]_{288-bessie leaven} spoke truth - [I]_259-adele was [a lady]_{4932-a lady} . And now [I]_259-adele looked much better than [I]_259-adele did when [Bessie]_{288-bessie leaven} saw [me]_259-adele ; [I]_259-adele had more colour and more flesh , more life , more vivacity , because [I]_259-adele had brighter hopes and keener enjoyments . "_[259-adele] Evening approaches , " said [I]_259-adele , as [I]_259-adele looked towards the window . "_[259-adele] [I]_0-i have never heard [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's voice or step in [the house]_{4322-the house} to - day ; but surely [I]_0-i shall see [him]_{251-mr. rochester} before night : [I]_0-i feared the meeting in the morning ; now [I]_0-i desire it , because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown impatient . " When dusk actually closed , and when [Adele]_259-adele left [me]_1877-i to go and play in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} with [Sophie]_256-sophie , [I]_1877-i did most keenly desire it . [I]_1877-i listened for the bell to ring below ; [I]_1877-i listened for [Leah]_195-bessie coming up with a message ; [I]_1877-i fancied sometimes [I]_1877-i heard [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's own tread , and [I]_1877-i turned to the door , expecting it to open and admit [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . The door remained shut ; darkness only came in through the window . Still it was not late ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} often sent for [me]_1877-i at seven and eight o'clock , and it was yet but six . Surely [I]_1877-i should not be wholly disappointed to- night , when [I]_1877-i had so many things to say to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ! [I]_1877-i wanted again to introduce the subject of [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} , and to hear what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would answer ; [I]_1877-i wanted to ask [him]_{251-mr. rochester} plainly if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} really believed it was [she]_{263-grace poole} who had made last night 's hideous attempt ; and if so , why [he]_{251-mr. rochester} kept [her]_{263-grace poole} wickedness a secret . It little mattered whether [my]_1877-i curiosity irritated [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [I]_1877-i knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing [him]_{251-mr. rochester} by turns ; it was one [I]_1877-i chiefly delighted in , and a sure instinct always prevented [me]_1877-i from going too far ; beyond the verge of provocation [I]_1877-i never ventured ; on the extreme brink [I]_1877-i liked well to try [my]_1877-i skill . Retaining every minute form of respect , every propriety of [my]_1877-i station , [I]_1877-i could still meet [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in argument without fear or uneasy restraint ; this suited both [him]_{251-mr. rochester} and [me]_1877-i . A tread creaked on the stairs at last . [Leah]_195-bessie made [her]_195-bessie appearance ; but it was only to intimate that tea was ready in [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's room]_{1553-mrs. fairfax 's room} . [Thither]_289-thither [I]_1877-i repaired , glad at least to go [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} ; for that brought [me]_1877-i , [I]_1877-i imagined , nearer to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's presence . "_[1877-i] [You]_1877-i must want [your]_1877-i tea , " said [the good lady]_{1411-the good lady} , as [I]_1877-i joined [her]_{1411-the good lady} ; "_[1877-i] [you]_1877-i ate so little at dinner . [I]_0-i am afraid , " [she]_{1411-the good lady} continued , "_[0-i] [you]_1877-i are not well to - day : [you]_1877-i look flushed and feverish . " "_[1877-i] Oh , quite well ! [I]_0-i never felt better . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_1877-i must prove it by evincing a good appetite ; will [you]_1877-i fill the teapot while [I]_0-i knit off this needle ? " Having completed [her]_{1411-the good lady} task , [she]_{1411-the good lady} rose to draw down the blind , which [she]_{1411-the good lady} had hitherto kept up , by way , [I]_1877-i suppose , of making the most of daylight , though dusk was now fast deepening into total obscurity . "_[1877-i] It is fair to - night , " said [she]_{1411-the good lady} , as [she]_{1411-the good lady} looked through the panes , "_[1877-i] though not starlight ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has , on the whole , had a favourable day for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} journey . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Journey ! - Is [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} gone anywhere ? [I]_0-i did not know [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was out . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Oh , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} set off the moment [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had breakfasted ! [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is gone to [the Leas]_{1878-the leas} , [[Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} 's place]_{1879-mr. eshton 's place} , ten miles on the other side [Millcote]_44-millcote . [I]_0-i believe there is quite [a party assembled there]_{1880-a party assembled there} ; [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} , [Sir George Lynn]_{292-sir george lynn} , [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , and [others]_1041-others . " "_{[1041-others]} Do [you]_0-i expect [him]_{251-mr. rochester} back to - night ? " "_[0-i] No - nor to - morrow either ; [I]_0-i should think [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is very likely to stay a week or more : when [these fine , fashionable people]_{1882-these fine , fashionable people} get together , [they]_{1882-these fine , fashionable people} are so surrounded by elegance and gaiety , so well provided with all that can please and entertain , [they]_{1882-these fine , fashionable people} are in no hurry to separate . [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} especially are often in request on such occasions ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is so talented and so lively in society , that [I]_0-i believe [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is [a general favourite]_{1884-a general favourite} : [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} are very fond of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; though [you]_1886-you would not think [his]_{251-mr. rochester} appearance calculated to recommend [him]_{251-mr. rochester} particularly in [their]_{1885-the ladies} eyes : but [I]_0-i suppose [his]_{251-mr. rochester} acquirements and abilities , perhaps [his]_{251-mr. rochester} wealth and good blood , make amends for any little fault of look . " "_[745-ladies] Are there [ladies]_745-ladies at [the Leas]_{68-the leas} ? " "_[745-ladies] There are [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} and [[her]_{294-mrs. eshton} three daughters]_{1888-her three daughters} - [very elegant young ladies]_{1889-very elegant young ladies} indeed ; and there are [the Honourable Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} and [Mary Ingram]_{296-mary ingram} , [most beautiful women]_{1890-most beautiful women} , [I]_0-i suppose : indeed [I]_0-i have seen [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , six or seven years since , when [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} was [a girl of eighteen]_{1891-a girl of eighteen} . [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} came here to a Christmas ball and party [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} gave . [You]_1892-you should have seen [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} that day - how richly [it]_{5079-the dining - room} was decorated , how brilliantly lit up ! [I]_0-i should think there were [fifty ladies]_{1894-fifty ladies} and [gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} present - [all of [the first county families]_{1897-the first county families}]_{1896-all of the first county families} ; and [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was considered [the belle of the evening]_{1898-the belle of the evening} . " "_[1892-you] [You]_1892-you saw [her]_{297-miss ingram} , [you]_1892-you say , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} : what was [she]_{297-miss ingram} like ? " "_{[297-miss ingram]} Yes , [I]_0-i saw [her]_{297-miss ingram} . The dining - room doors were thrown open ; and , as it was Christmas - time , [the servants]_{546-the servants} were allowed to assemble in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , to hear [some of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{1901-some of the ladies} sing and play . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would have [me]_0-i to come in , and [I]_0-i sat down in [a quiet corner]_{1903-a quiet corner} and watched [them]_{1885-the ladies} . [I]_0-i never saw a more splendid scene : [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} were magnificently dressed ; [most of [them]_{1885-the ladies}]_{1905-most of them} - at least [most of [the younger ones]_{1907-the younger ones}]_{1906-most of the younger ones} - looked handsome ; but [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was certainly [the queen]_{1908-the queen} . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} And what was [she]_{297-miss ingram} like ? " "_{[297-miss ingram]} Tall , fine bust , sloping shoulders ; long , graceful neck : olive complexion , dark and clear ; noble features ; eyes rather like [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's : large and black , and as brilliant as [her]_{297-miss ingram} jewels . And then [she]_{297-miss ingram} had such a fine head of hair ; raven - black and so becomingly arranged : a crown of thick plaits behind , and in front the longest , the glossiest curls [I]_0-i ever saw . [She]_{297-miss ingram} was dressed in pure white ; an amber - coloured scarf was passed over [her]_{297-miss ingram} shoulder and across [her]_{297-miss ingram} breast , tied at the side , and descending in long , fringed ends below [her]_{297-miss ingram} knee . [She]_{297-miss ingram} wore an amber - coloured flower , too , in [her]_{297-miss ingram} hair : it contrasted well with the jetty mass of [her]_{297-miss ingram} curls . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} [She]_{297-miss ingram} was greatly admired , of course ? " "_{[297-miss ingram]} Yes , indeed : and not only for [her]_{297-miss ingram} beauty , but for [her]_{297-miss ingram} accomplishments . [She]_{297-miss ingram} was one of [the ladies who sang]_{1909-the ladies who sang} : [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} accompanied [her]_{297-miss ingram} on the piano . [She]_{297-miss ingram} and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} sang a duet . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [I]_0-i was not aware [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could sing . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Oh ! [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has a fine bass voice , and an excellent taste for music . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} And [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} : what sort of a voice had [she]_{297-miss ingram} ? " "_{[1911-a very rich and powerful one]} [A very rich and powerful one]_{1911-a very rich and powerful one} : [she]_{297-miss ingram} sang delightfully ; it was a treat to listen to [her]_{297-miss ingram} ; - and [she]_{297-miss ingram} played afterwards . [I]_0-i am [no judge of music]_{1912-no judge of music} , but [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is ; and [I]_0-i heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} say [her]_{297-miss ingram} execution was remarkably good . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} And [this beautiful and accomplished lady]_{1913-this beautiful and accomplished lady} , [she]_{297-miss ingram} is not yet married ? " "_{[297-miss ingram]} It appears not : [I]_0-i fancy neither [she]_{297-miss ingram} nor [[her]_{297-miss ingram} sister]_{4922-her sister} have very large fortunes . [[Old Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} 's estates]_{1915-old lord ingram 's estates} were chiefly entailed , and [the eldest son]_{1916-the eldest son} came in for everything almost . " "_{[1916-the eldest son]} But [I]_0-i wonder [no wealthy nobleman]_{1917-no wealthy nobleman} or [gentleman]_{1918-gentleman} has taken a fancy to [her]_{297-miss ingram} : [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , for instance . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is rich , is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} not ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Oh ! yes . But [you]_0-i see there is a considerable difference in age : [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is nearly forty ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} is but twenty - five . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} What of that ? More unequal matches are made every day . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} True : yet [I]_0-i should scarcely fancy [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would entertain an idea of the sort . But [you]_0-i eat nothing : [you]_0-i have scarcely tasted since [you]_0-i began tea . " "_[0-i] No : [I]_0-i am too thirsty to eat . Will [you]_0-i let [me]_0-i have another cup ? " [I]_1919-you was about again to revert to the probability of a union between [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [the beautiful Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ; but [Adele]_259-adele came in , and the conversation was turned into another channel . When once more alone , [I]_1919-you reviewed the information [I]_1919-you had got ; looked into [my]_1919-you heart , examined its thoughts and feelings , and endeavoured to bring back with a strict hand such as had been straying through imagination 's boundless and trackless waste , into the safe fold of common sense . Arraigned at [[my]_1919-you own bar]_{5485-my own bar} , [Memory]_298-memory having given [her]_{297-miss ingram} evidence of the hopes , wishes , sentiments [I]_1919-you had been cherishing since last night - of the general state of mind in which [I]_1919-you had indulged for nearly a fortnight past ; [Reason]_299-reason having come forward and told , in [her]_{297-miss ingram} own quiet way a plain , unvarnished tale , showing how [I]_1919-you had rejected the real , and rabidly devoured the ideal ; - [I]_1919-you pronounced judgment to this effect:- That [a greater fool]_{5486-a greater fool} than [Jane Eyre]_146-jane had never breathed the breath of life ; that [a more fantastic idiot]_{5487-a more fantastic idiot} had never surfeited [herself]_{5487-a more fantastic idiot} on sweet lies , and swallowed poison as if it were nectar . "_[1919-you] [YOU]_1919-you , " [I]_1919-you said , "_[1919-you] a favourite with [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [YOU]_1919-you gifted with the power of pleasing [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [YOU]_1919-you of importance to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in any way ? Go ! [your]_1919-you folly sickens [me]_0-i . And [you]_1919-you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference - equivocal tokens shown by [a gentleman of family]_{1920-a gentleman of family} and [a man of [the world]_{484-the world}]_{1921-a man of the world} to [a dependent]_{4316-a dependent} and [a novice]_{5192-a novice} . How dared [you]_1919-you ? [Poor stupid dupe]_{1925-poor stupid dupe} ! - Could not even self - interest make [you]_1919-you wiser ? [You]_1919-you repeated to [yourself]_1919-you this morning the brief scene of last night ? - Cover [your]_1919-you face and be ashamed ! [He]_{251-mr. rochester} said something in praise of [your]_1919-you eyes , did [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [Blind puppy]_{1926-blind puppy} ! Open [their]_{1926-blind puppy} bleared lids and look on [your]_1919-you own accursed senselessness ! It does good to [no woman]_{1927-no woman} to be flattered by [[her]_{1927-no woman} superior]_{1928-her superior} , who can not possibly intend to marry [her]_{1927-no woman} ; and it is madness in [all women]_{1929-all women} to let a secret love kindle within [them]_{1929-all women} , which , if unreturned and unknown , must devour the life that feeds it ; and , if discovered and responded to , must lead , ignis - fatus - like , into miry wilds whence there is no extrication . " Listen , then , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , to [your]_1919-you sentence : tomorrow , place the glass before [you]_1919-you , and draw in chalk [your]_1919-you own picture , faithfully , without softening one defect ; omit no harsh line , smooth away no displeasing irregularity ; write under it , ' Portrait of [a Governess]_{5029-a governess} , disconnected , poor , and plain . ' "_[1919-you] Afterwards , take a piece of smooth ivory - [you]_1919-you have one prepared in [your]_1919-you drawing - box : take [your]_1919-you palette , mix [your]_1919-you freshest , finest , clearest tints ; choose [your]_1919-you most delicate camel - hair pencils ; delineate carefully the loveliest face [you]_1919-you can imagine ; paint it in [your]_1919-you softest shades and sweetest lines , according to the description given by [Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ; remember the raven ringlets , the oriental eye ; - What ! [you]_1919-you revert to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} as [a model]_{1930-a model} ! Order ! No snivel ! - no sentiment ! - no regret ! [I]_0-i will endure only sense and resolution . Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments , the Grecian neck and bust ; let the round and dazzling arm be visible , and the delicate hand ; omit neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet ; portray faithfully the attire , aerial lace and glistening satin , graceful scarf and golden rose ; call it ' [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , [an accomplished lady of rank]_{1931-an accomplished lady of rank} . ' " Whenever , in future , [you]_1919-you should chance to fancy [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} thinks well of [you]_1919-you , take out these two pictures and compare them : say , ' [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} might probably win [that noble lady]_{5489-that noble lady} 's love , if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} chose to strive for it ; is it likely [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would waste a serious thought on [this indigent and insignificant plebeian]_{5490-this indigent and insignificant plebeian} ? ' "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i 'll do it , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i resolved : and having framed this determination , [I]_0-i grew calm , and fell asleep . [I]_0-i kept [my]_0-i word . An hour or two sufficed to sketch [my]_0-i own portrait in crayons ; and in less than a fortnight [I]_0-i had completed an ivory miniature of an imaginary [Blanche Ingram]_{295-mrs. fairfax} . It looked a lovely face enough , and when compared with the real head in chalk , the contrast was as great as self - control could desire . [I]_0-i derived benefit from the task : it had kept [my]_0-i head and hands employed , and had given force and fixedness to the new impressions [I]_0-i wished to stamp indelibly on [my]_0-i heart . Ere long , [I]_0-i had reason to congratulate [myself]_0-i on the course of wholesome discipline to which [I]_0-i had thus forced [my]_0-i feelings to submit . Thanks to it , [I]_0-i was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm , which , had [they]_1932-they found [me]_0-i unprepared , [I]_0-i should probably have been unequal to maintain , even externally . CHAPTER XVII A week passed , and no news arrived of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : ten days , and still [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did not come . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} said [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} should not be surprised if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} were to go straight from [the Leas]_{68-the leas} to [London]_31-london , and thence to [the Continent]_{52-the continent} , and not show [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face again at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} for a year to come ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected . When [I]_0-i heard this , [I]_0-i was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart . [I]_0-i was actually permitting [myself]_0-i to experience a sickening sense of disappointment ; but rallying [my]_0-i wits , and recollecting [my]_0-i principles , [I]_0-i at once called [my]_0-i sensations to order ; and it was wonderful how [I]_0-i got over the temporary blunder - how [I]_0-i cleared up the mistake of supposing [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's movements a matter in which [I]_0-i had any cause to take a vital interest . Not that [I]_0-i humbled [myself]_0-i by a slavish notion of inferiority : on the contrary , [I]_0-i just said - " [You]_5491-you have nothing to do with [the master of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{5492-the master of thornfield} , further than to receive the salary [he]_{5492-the master of thornfield} gives [you]_5491-you for teaching [[his]_{5492-the master of thornfield} protegee]_{5493-his protegee} , and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as , if [you]_5491-you do [your]_5491-you duty , [you]_5491-you have a right to expect at [his]_{5492-the master of thornfield} hands . Be sure that is the only tie [he]_{5492-the master of thornfield} seriously acknowledges between [you]_5491-you and [him]_{5492-the master of thornfield} ; so do n't make [him]_{5492-the master of thornfield} the object of [your]_5491-you fine feelings , [your]_5491-you raptures , agonies , and so forth . [He]_{5492-the master of thornfield} is not of [your]_5491-you order : keep to [your]_5491-you caste , and be too self - respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart , soul , and strength , where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i went on with [my]_0-i day 's business tranquilly ; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across [my]_0-i brain of reasons why [I]_0-i should quit [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ; and [I]_0-i kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering conjectures about new situations : these thoughts [I]_0-i did not think to check ; they might germinate and bear fruit if [they]_1933-they could . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had been absent upwards of a fortnight , when the post brought [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} a letter . " It is from [the master]_{540-the master} , "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} said [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , as [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} looked at the direction . " Now [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} suppose [we]_1934-we shall know whether [we]_1934-we are to expect [his]_{540-the master} return or not . "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} And while [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} broke the seal and perused the document , [I]_0-i went on taking [my]_0-i coffee [we]_1934-we were at breakfast : it was hot , and [I]_0-i attributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to [my]_0-i face . Why [my]_0-i hand shook , and why [I]_0-i involuntarily spilt half the contents of [my]_0-i cup into [my]_0-i saucer , [I]_0-i did not choose to consider . " Well , [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} sometimes think [we]_1934-we are too quiet ; but [we]_1934-we run a chance of being busy enough now : for a little while at least , "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , still holding the note before [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} spectacles . Ere [I]_0-i permitted [myself]_0-i to request an explanation , [I]_0-i tied the string of [Adele]_259-adele 's pinafore , which happened to be loose : having helped [her]_259-adele also to another bun and refilled [her]_259-adele mug with milk , [I]_0-i said , nonchalantly - " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is not likely to return soon , [I]_0-i suppose ? "_[0-i] " Indeed [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is - in three days , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} says : that will be next Thursday ; and not alone either . [I]_0-i do n't know how many of [the fine people at [the Leas]_{1878-the leas}]_{5495-the fine people at the leas} are coming with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} sends directions for [all the best bedrooms]_{5497-all the best bedrooms} to be prepared ; and [the library]_{659-the library} and [drawing - rooms]_{5499-drawing - rooms} are to be cleaned out ; [I]_0-i am to get more kitchen hands from [the George Inn]_{48-the george inn} , at [Millcote]_44-millcote , and from wherever else [I]_0-i can ; and [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} will bring [[their]_{1885-the ladies} maids]_{5501-their maids} and [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} [[their]_{1742-the gentlemen} valets]_{5503-their valets} : so [we]_5504-we shall have [a full house of [it]_5506-it]_{5505-a full house of it} . "_[0-i] And [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} swallowed [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} breakfast and hastened away to commence operations . The three days were , as [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} had foretold , busy enough . [I]_0-i had thought [all the rooms at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{1935-all the rooms at thornfield} beautifully clean and well arranged ; but it appears [I]_0-i was mistaken . [Three women]_{1936-three women} were got to help ; and such scrubbing , such brushing , such washing of paint and beating of carpets , such taking down and putting up of pictures , such polishing of mirrors and lustres , such lighting of fires in [bedrooms]_{1937-bedrooms} , such airing of sheets and feather - beds on hearths , [I]_0-i never beheld , either before or since . [Adele]_259-adele ran quite wild in the midst of it : the preparations for [company]_1938-company and the prospect of [their]_{1936-three women} arrival , seemed to throw [her]_259-adele into ecstasies . [She]_259-adele would have [Sophie]_256-sophie to look over all [her]_259-adele " toilettes , "_[259-adele] as [she]_259-adele called frocks ; to furbish up [any that were " passees]_{5507-any that were " passees} , "_[259-adele] and to air and arrange the new . For [herself]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} did nothing but caper about in [the front chambers]_{1939-the front chambers} , jump on and off the bedsteads , and lie on the mattresses and piled - up bolsters and pillows before the enormous fires roaring in the chimneys . From school duties [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} was exonerated : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} had pressed [me]_0-i into [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} service , and [I]_0-i was all day in [the storeroom]_{4970-the storeroom} , helping or hindering [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} and [the cook]_{5434-the cook} ; learning to make custards and cheese - cakes and French pastry , to truss game and garnish desert - dishes . [The party]_{1942-the party} were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon , in time for dinner at six . During the intervening period [I]_0-i had no time to nurse chimeras ; and [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i was as active and gay as [anybody]_4330-anybody - [Adele]_259-adele excepted . Still , now and then , [I]_0-i received a damping check to [my]_0-i cheerfulness ; and was , in spite of [myself]_0-i , thrown back on the region of doubts and portents , and dark conjectures . This was when [I]_0-i chanced to see the third - storey staircase door which of late had always been kept locked open slowly , and give passage to the form of [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} , in prim cap , white apron , and handkerchief ; when [I]_0-i watched [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} glide along [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} quiet tread muffled in a list slipper ; when [I]_0-i saw [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} look into [the bustling , topsy - turvy bedrooms]_{1945-the bustling , topsy - turvy bedrooms} , - just say a word , perhaps , to [the charwoman]_{1946-the charwoman} about the proper way to polish a grate , or clean a marble mantelpiece , or take stains from papered walls , and then pass on . [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} would thus descend to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} once a day , eat [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} dinner , smoke a moderate pipe on the hearth , and go back , carrying [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} pot of porter with [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , for [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} private solace , in [[her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} own gloomy , upper haunt]_{1948-her own gloomy , upper haunt} . Only one hour in the twenty - four did [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} pass with [[her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} fellow - servants]_{1949-her fellow - servants} below ; all the rest of [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} time was spent in [some low - ceiled , oaken chamber of [the second storey]_{5407-the second storey}]_{1950-some low - ceiled , oaken chamber of the second storey} : there [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} sat and sewed - and probably laughed drearily to [herself]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , - as companionless as [a prisoner in [[his]_{1952-a prisoner in his dungeon} dungeon]_{1953-his dungeon}]_{1952-a prisoner in his dungeon} . The strangest thing of all was , that [not a soul in [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{1954-not a soul in the house} , except [me]_0-i , noticed [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} habits , or seemed to marvel at them : [no one]_{593-no one} discussed [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} position or employment ; [no one]_{593-no one} pitied [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} solitude or isolation . [I]_0-i once , indeed , overheard part of a dialogue between [Leah]_195-bessie and one of [the charwomen]_{1958-the charwomen} , of which [Grace]_{263-grace poole} formed the subject . [Leah]_195-bessie had been saying something [I]_0-i had not caught , and [the charwoman]_{1946-the charwoman} remarked - " [She]_195-bessie gets good wages , [I]_{1946-the charwoman} guess ? "_{[1946-the charwoman]} " Yes , "_[195-bessie] said [Leah]_195-bessie ; " [I]_195-bessie wish [I]_195-bessie had as good ; not that [mine]_195-bessie are to complain of , - there 's no stinginess at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ; but they 're not one fifth of the sum [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} receives . And [she]_195-bessie is laying by : [she]_195-bessie goes every quarter to [the bank at [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{5508-the bank at millcote} . [I]_195-bessie should not wonder but [she]_195-bessie has saved enough to keep [her]_195-bessie independent if [she]_195-bessie liked to leave ; but [I]_195-bessie suppose [she]_195-bessie 's got used to [the place]_{1554-the place} ; and then [she]_195-bessie 's not forty yet , and strong and able for anything . It is too soon for [her]_195-bessie to give up business . "_[195-bessie] " [She]_195-bessie is a good hand , [I]_{1946-the charwoman} daresay , "_{[1946-the charwoman]} said [the charwoman]_{1946-the charwoman} . " Ah ! - [she]_195-bessie understands what [she]_195-bessie has to do , - [nobody]_4628-nobody better , "_[195-bessie] rejoined [Leah]_195-bessie significantly ; " and it is not [every one]_{5511-every one} could fill [her]_195-bessie shoes - not for all the money [she]_195-bessie gets . "_[195-bessie] " That it is not ! "_[195-bessie] was the reply . " [I]_195-bessie wonder whether [the master]_{540-the master} - "_[195-bessie] [The charwoman]_{1946-the charwoman} was going on ; but here [Leah]_195-bessie turned and perceived [me]_0-i , and [she]_195-bessie instantly gave [[her]_195-bessie companion]_{1802-her companion} a nudge . " Does n't [she]_195-bessie know ? "_[195-bessie] [I]_0-i heard [the woman]_{1963-the woman} whisper . [Leah]_195-bessie shook [her]_195-bessie head , and the conversation was of course dropped . All [I]_0-i had gathered from it amounted to this , - that there was a mystery at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ; and that from participation in that mystery [I]_0-i was purposely excluded . Thursday came : all work had been completed the previous evening ; carpets were laid down , bed - hangings festooned , radiant white counterpanes spread , toilet tables arranged , furniture rubbed , flowers piled in vases : [both chambers]_{1964-both chambers} and [saloons]_1965-saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make them . [The hall]_{608-the hall} , too , was scoured ; and the great carved clock , as well as the steps and banisters of the staircase , were polished to the brightness of glass ; in [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , the sideboard flashed resplendent with plate ; in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} and boudoir , vases of exotics bloomed on all sides . Afternoon arrived : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} assumed [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} best black satin gown , [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} gloves , and [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} gold watch ; for it was [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} part to receive [the company]_{755-the company} , - to conduct [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} to [[their]_{1885-the ladies} rooms]_{1971-their rooms} , c. [Adele]_259-adele , too , would be dressed : though [I]_0-i thought [she]_259-adele had little chance of being introduced to the party that day at least . However , to please [her]_259-adele , [I]_0-i allowed [Sophie]_256-sophie to apparel [her]_259-adele in one of [her]_259-adele short , full muslin frocks . For [myself]_0-i , [I]_0-i had no need to make any change ; [I]_0-i should not be called upon to quit [[my]_0-i sanctum of [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom}]_{1972-my sanctum of the schoolroom} ; for a sanctum it was now become to [me]_0-i , - " a very pleasant refuge in time of trouble . "_[0-i] It had been a mild , serene spring day - one of those days which , towards the end of March or the beginning of April , rise shining over [the earth]_{663-the earth} as heralds of summer . It was drawing to an end now ; but the evening was even warm , and [I]_0-i sat at work in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} with the window open . " It gets late , "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} said [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , entering in rustling state . " [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} am glad [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ordered dinner an hour after the time [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} mentioned ; for it is past six now . [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} have sent [John]_{177-st. john} down to the gates to see if there is anything on [the road]_{4892-the road} : one can see a long way from thence in the direction of [Millcote]_44-millcote . "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} went to the window . " Here [he]_{177-st. john} is ! "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} said [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} . " Well , [John]_{177-st. john} "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} leaning out , " any news ? "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} " [They]_5514-they 're coming , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , "_[259-adele] was the answer . " [They]_5514-they 'll be here in ten minutes . "_[259-adele] [Adele]_259-adele flew to the window . [I]_0-i followed , taking care to stand on one side , so that , screened by the curtain , [I]_0-i could see without being seen . The ten minutes [John]_{177-st. john} had given seemed very long , but at last wheels were heard ; [four equestrians]_{1976-four equestrians} galloped up [the drive]_{778-the drive} , and after [them]_{1976-four equestrians} came [two open carriages]_{1978-two open carriages} . Fluttering veils and waving plumes filled [the vehicles]_{1979-the vehicles} ; [two of [the cavaliers]_{1981-the cavaliers}]_{1980-two of the cavaliers} were [young , dashing - looking gentlemen]_{1982-young , dashing - looking gentlemen} ; [the third]_{1983-the third} was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} black horse , [Mesrour]_69-mesrour , Pilot bounding before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} side rode [a lady]_{4932-a lady} , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} and [she]_{4932-a lady} were [the first of [the party]_{1942-the party}]_{1985-the first of the party} . [Her]_{4932-a lady} purple riding - habit almost swept the ground , [her]_{4932-a lady} veil streamed long on the breeze ; mingling with its transparent folds , and gleaming through them , shone rich raven ringlets . " [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ! "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} exclaimed [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , and away [she]_{4932-a lady} hurried to [her]_{4932-a lady} post below . [The cavalcade]_{1987-the cavalcade} , following the sweep of [the drive]_{778-the drive} , quickly turned the angle of [the house]_{4322-the house} , and [I]_0-i lost sight of [it]_{4322-the house} . [Adele]_259-adele now petitioned to go down ; but [I]_0-i took [her]_259-adele on [my]_0-i knee , and gave [her]_259-adele to understand that [she]_259-adele must not on any account think of venturing in sight of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} , either now or at any other time , unless expressly sent for : that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would be very angry , c. " Some natural tears [she]_259-adele shed "_{[251-mr. rochester]} on being told this ; but as [I]_0-i began to look very grave , [she]_259-adele consented at last to wipe them . A joyous stir was now audible in [the hall]_{608-the hall} : [gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} 's deep tones and [ladies]_745-ladies ' silvery accents blent harmoniously together , and distinguishable above all , though not loud , was the sonorous voice of [the master of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall}]_{1994-the master of thornfield hall} , welcoming [[his]_{1994-the master of thornfield hall} fair and gallant guests]_{1995-his fair and gallant guests} under [its]_{53-thornfield hall} roof . Then light steps ascended the stairs ; and there was a tripping through [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , and soft cheerful laughs , and opening and closing doors , and , for a time , a hush . " Elles changent de toilettes , "_[259-adele] said [Adele]_259-adele ; who , listening attentively , had followed every movement ; and [she]_259-adele sighed . " Chez maman , "_[259-adele] said [she]_259-adele , " quand il y avait du monde , je le suivais partout , au salon et e leurs chambres ; souvent je regardais les femmes de chambre coiffer et habiller les dames , et c'etait si amusant : comme cela on apprend . "_[259-adele] " Do n't [you]_259-adele feel hungry , [Adele]_259-adele ? "_[259-adele] " Mais oui , mademoiselle : voile cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons pas mange . "_[259-adele] " Well now , while [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} are in [[their]_{1885-the ladies} rooms]_{1971-their rooms} , [I]_259-adele will venture down and get [you]_259-adele something to eat . "_[259-adele] And issuing from [[my]_0-i asylum]_{1997-my asylum} with precaution , [I]_0-i sought a back - stairs which conducted directly to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} . All in [that region]_{1279-that region} was fire and commotion ; the soup and fish were in the last stage of projection , and [the cook]_{5434-the cook} hung over [her]_{5434-the cook} crucibles in a frame of mind and body threatening spontaneous combustion . In [the servants ' hall]_{2001-the servants ' hall} [two coachmen]_{2002-two coachmen} and [[three gentlemen]_{2003-three gentlemen} 's gentlemen]_{2004-three gentlemen 's gentlemen} stood or sat round the fire ; [the abigails]_{2005-the abigails} , [I]_0-i suppose , were [upstairs]_552-upstairs with [[their]_{2005-the abigails} mistresses]_{2007-their mistresses} ; [the new servants]_{2008-the new servants} , that had been hired from [Millcote]_44-millcote , were bustling about everywhere . Threading this chaos , [I]_0-i at last reached the larder ; there [I]_0-i took possession of a cold chicken , a roll of bread , some tarts , a plate or two and a knife and fork : with this booty [I]_0-i made a hasty retreat . [I]_0-i had regained [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , and was just shutting the back - door behind [me]_0-i , when an accelerated hum warned [me]_0-i that [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} were about to issue from [[their]_{1885-the ladies} chambers]_{2011-their chambers} . [I]_0-i could not proceed to [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} without passing some of [their]_{1885-the ladies} doors , and running the risk of being surprised with [my]_0-i cargo of victualage ; so [I]_0-i stood still at this end , which , being windowless , was dark : quite dark now , for the sun was set and twilight gathering . Presently [the chambers]_{2013-the chambers} gave up [[their]_{2013-the chambers} fair tenants]_{2014-their fair tenants} one after another : [each]_898-each came out gaily and airily , with dress that gleamed lustrous through the dusk . For a moment [they]_{1885-the ladies} stood grouped together at the other extremity of [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , conversing in a key of sweet subdued vivacity : [they]_{1885-the ladies} then descended the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down [a hill]_{2017-a hill} . [Their]_{1885-the ladies} collective appearance had left on [me]_0-i an impression of high - born elegance , such as [I]_0-i had never before received . [I]_0-i found [Adele]_259-adele peeping through [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} door , which [she]_259-adele held ajar . " What [beautiful ladies]_{5518-beautiful ladies} ! "_[259-adele] cried [she]_259-adele in English . " Oh , [I]_259-adele wish [I]_259-adele might go to [them]_{5518-beautiful ladies} ! Do [you]_0-i think [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} will send for [us]_5519-us by - and - bye , after dinner ? "_[259-adele] " No , indeed , [I]_259-adele do n't ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has something else to think about . Never mind [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} to - night ; perhaps [you]_0-i will see [them]_{1885-the ladies} to - morrow : here is [your]_0-i dinner . "_[259-adele] [She]_259-adele was really hungry , so the chicken and tarts served to divert [her]_259-adele attention for a time . It was well [I]_0-i secured this forage , or both [she]_259-adele , [I]_0-i , and [Sophie]_256-sophie , to whom [I]_0-i conveyed a share of [our]_2019-our repast , would have run a chance of getting no dinner at all : [every one downstairs]_{2020-every one downstairs} was too much engaged to think of [us]_2019-our . The dessert was not carried out till after nine and at ten [footmen]_2021-footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee - cups . [I]_0-i allowed [Adele]_259-adele to sit up much later than usual ; for [she]_259-adele declared [she]_259-adele could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and shutting below , and [people bustling about]_{2022-people bustling about} . Besides , [she]_259-adele added , a message might possibly come from [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} when [she]_259-adele was undressed ; " et alors quel dommage ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i told [her]_259-adele stories as long as [she]_259-adele would listen to them ; and then for a change [I]_0-i took [her]_259-adele out into [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . [The hall]_{608-the hall} lamp was now lit , and it amused [her]_259-adele to look over the balustrade and watch [the servants]_{546-the servants} passing backwards and forwards . When the evening was far advanced , a sound of music issued from [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} , whither the piano had been removed ; [Adele]_259-adele and [I]_0-i sat down on the top step of [the stairs]_{2027-the stairs} to listen . Presently a voice blent with the rich tones of the instrument ; it was [a lady]_{4932-a lady} who sang , and very sweet [her]_{4932-a lady} notes were . The solo over , a duet followed , and then a glee : a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals . [I]_0-i listened long : suddenly [I]_0-i discovered that [my]_0-i ear was wholly intent on analysing the mingled sounds , and trying to discriminate amidst the confusion of accents those of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and when it caught them , which it soon did , [it]_2029-it found a further task in framing the tones , rendered by distance inarticulate , into words . The clock struck eleven . [I]_0-i looked at [Adele]_259-adele , whose head leant against [my]_0-i shoulder ; [her]_259-adele eyes were waxing heavy , so [I]_0-i took [her]_259-adele up in [my]_0-i arms and carried [her]_259-adele off to bed . It was near one before [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} and [ladies]_745-ladies sought [[their]_2032-their chambers]_{2011-their chambers} . The next day was as fine as [its]_2034-its predecessor : it was devoted by [the party]_{1942-the party} to an excursion to [some site in [the neighbourhood]_{1738-the neighbourhood}]_{2036-some site in the neighbourhood} . [They]_2038-they set out early in the forenoon , [some on horseback]_{2039-some on horseback} , the rest in [carriages]_{2040-carriages} ; [I]_0-i witnessed both the departure and the return . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , as before , was [the only lady equestrian]_{2041-the only lady equestrian} ; and , as before , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} galloped at [her]_{297-miss ingram} side ; [the two]_{2042-the two} rode a little apart from [the rest]_{2043-the rest} . [I]_0-i pointed out this circumstance to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , who was standing at the window with [me]_0-i - " [You]_{295-mrs. fairfax} said it was not likely [they]_2038-they should think of being married , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , " but [you]_{295-mrs. fairfax} see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} evidently prefers [her]_{297-miss ingram} to [any of [the other ladies]_{5522-the other ladies}]_{5521-any of the other ladies} . "_[0-i] " Yes , [I]_0-i daresay : no doubt [he]_{251-mr. rochester} admires [her]_{297-miss ingram} . "_[0-i] " And [she]_{297-miss ingram} [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i added ; " look how [she]_{297-miss ingram} leans [her]_{297-miss ingram} head towards [him]_{251-mr. rochester} as if [she]_{297-miss ingram} were conversing confidentially ; [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could see [her]_{297-miss ingram} face ; [I]_0-i have never had a glimpse of it yet . "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i will see [her]_{297-miss ingram} this evening , "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} answered [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} . " [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} happened to remark to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} how much [Adele]_259-adele wished to be introduced to [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said : ' Oh ! let [her]_{297-miss ingram} come into [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} after dinner ; and request [Miss Eyre]_146-jane to accompany [her]_{297-miss ingram} . ' "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} " Yes ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said that from mere politeness : [I]_0-i need not go , [I]_0-i am sure , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i answered . " Well , [I]_0-i observed to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} that as [you]_0-i were unused to [company]_1938-company , [I]_0-i did not think [you]_0-i would like appearing before so gay a party - [all strangers]_{5526-all strangers} ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} replied , in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} quick way - ' Nonsense ! If [she]_{297-miss ingram} objects , tell [her]_{297-miss ingram} it is [my]_0-i particular wish ; and if [she]_{297-miss ingram} resists , say [I]_0-i shall come and fetch [her]_{297-miss ingram} in case of contumacy . ' "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i will not give [him]_{251-mr. rochester} that trouble , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i answered . " [I]_0-i will go , if no better may be ; but [I]_0-i do n't like it . Shall [you]_0-i be there , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ? "_[0-i] " No ; [I]_0-i pleaded off , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} admitted [my]_0-i plea . [I]_0-i 'll tell [you]_0-i how to manage so as to avoid the embarrassment of making a formal entrance , which is the most disagreeable part of the business . [You]_0-i must go into [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} while [it]_{513-the drawing - room} is empty , before [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} leave the dinner - table ; choose [your]_0-i seat in [any quiet nook [you]_0-i like]_{5529-any quiet nook you like} ; [you]_0-i need not stay long after [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} come in , unless [you]_0-i please : just let [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} see [you]_0-i are [there]_4426-there and then slip away - [nobody]_4628-nobody will notice [you]_0-i . "_[0-i] " Will [these people]_{5533-these people} remain long , do [you]_0-i think ? "_[0-i] " Perhaps two or three weeks , certainly not more . After the Easter recess , [Sir George Lynn]_{292-sir george lynn} , who was lately elected member for [Millcote]_44-millcote , will have to go up to [town]_5534-town and take [his]_{292-sir george lynn} seat ; [I]_0-i daresay [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} will accompany [him]_{292-sir george lynn} : it surprises [me]_0-i that [he]_{292-sir george lynn} has already made so protracted a stay at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . "_[0-i] It was with some trepidation that [I]_0-i perceived the hour approach when [I]_0-i was to repair with [my]_0-i charge to [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} . [Adele]_259-adele had been in a state of ecstasy all day , after hearing [she]_259-adele was to be presented to [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} in the evening ; and it was not till [Sophie]_256-sophie commenced the operation of dressing [her]_259-adele that [she]_259-adele sobered down . Then the importance of the process quickly steadied [her]_259-adele , and by the time [she]_259-adele had [her]_259-adele curls arranged in well - smoothed , drooping clusters , [her]_259-adele pink satin frock put on , [her]_259-adele long sash tied , and [her]_259-adele lace mittens adjusted , [she]_259-adele looked as grave as [any judge]_{2046-any judge} . No need to warn [her]_259-adele not to disarrange [her]_259-adele attire : when [she]_259-adele was dressed , [she]_259-adele sat demurely down in [her]_259-adele little chair , taking care previously to lift up the satin skirt for fear [she]_259-adele should crease it , and assured [me]_0-i [she]_259-adele would not stir thence till [I]_0-i was ready . This [I]_0-i quickly was : [my]_0-i best dress the silver - grey one , purchased for [Miss Temple]_{201-miss temple} 's wedding , and never worn since was soon put on ; [my]_0-i hair was soon smoothed ; [my]_0-i sole ornament , the pearl brooch , soon assumed . [We]_2047-we descended . Fortunately there was another entrance to [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} than that through [the saloon where [they]_2050-they were all seated at dinner]_{2049-the saloon where they were all seated at dinner} . [We]_2047-we found [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} vacant ; a large fire burning silently on the marble hearth , and wax candles shining in bright solitude , amid the exquisite flowers with which the tables were adorned . The crimson curtain hung before the arch : slight as was the separation this drapery formed from the party in [the adjoining saloon]_{2052-the adjoining saloon} , [they]_2050-they spoke in so low a key that nothing of [their]_2050-they conversation could be distinguished beyond a soothing murmur . [Adele]_259-adele , [who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising impression]_{2053-who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising impression} , sat down , without a word , on the footstool [I]_0-i pointed out to [her]_259-adele . [I]_0-i retired to a window - seat , and taking a book from a table near , endeavoured to read . [Adele]_259-adele brought [her]_259-adele stool to [my]_0-i feet ; ere long [she]_259-adele touched [my]_0-i knee . " What is it , [Adele]_259-adele ? "_[259-adele] " Est - ce que je ne puis pas prendrie une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques , mademoiselle ? Seulement pour completer ma toilette . "_[259-adele] " [You]_259-adele think too much of [your]_259-adele ' toilette , ' [Adele]_259-adele : but [you]_259-adele may have a flower . "_[0-i] And [I]_0-i took a rose from a vase and fastened it in [her]_259-adele sash . [She]_259-adele sighed a sigh of ineffable satisfaction , as if [her]_259-adele cup of happiness were now full . [I]_0-i turned [my]_0-i face away to conceal a smile [I]_0-i could not suppress : there was something ludicrous as well as painful in [the little Parisienne]_{301-the little parisienne} 's earnest and innate devotion to matters of dress . A soft sound of rising now became audible ; the curtain was swept back from the arch ; through it appeared [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , with [its]_{5079-the dining - room} lit lustre pouring down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent dessert - service covering a long table ; [a band of [ladies]_745-ladies]_{2055-a band of ladies} stood in the opening ; [they]_{2055-a band of ladies} entered , and the curtain fell behind [them]_{2055-a band of ladies} . There were but eight ; yet , somehow , as [they]_{2055-a band of ladies} flocked in , [they]_{2055-a band of ladies} gave the impression of a much larger number . [Some of [them]_{2055-a band of ladies}]_{2057-some of them} were very tall ; many were dressed in white ; and all had a sweeping amplitude of array that seemed to magnify [[their]_{2055-a band of ladies} persons]_{2058-their persons} as a mist magnifies the moon . [I]_0-i rose and curtseyed to [them]_{2055-a band of ladies} : [one or two]_{2059-one or two} bent [their]_{2059-one or two} heads in return , [the others]_{919-the others} only stared at [me]_0-i . [They]_{2055-a band of ladies} dispersed about [the room]_{535-the room} , reminding [me]_0-i , by the lightness and buoyancy of [their]_{2055-a band of ladies} movements , of a flock of white plumy birds . [Some of [them]_{2055-a band of ladies}]_{2057-some of them} threw [themselves]_{2057-some of them} in half - reclining positions on the sofas and ottomans : [some]_1182-some bent over the tables and examined the flowers and books : [the rest]_{2043-the rest} gathered in a group round the fire : all talked in a low but clear tone which seemed habitual to [them]_{2055-a band of ladies} . [I]_0-i knew [their]_{2055-a band of ladies} names afterwards , and may as well mention [them]_{2055-a band of ladies} now . First , there was [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} and [two of [[her]_{294-mrs. eshton} daughters]_{2066-her daughters}]_{2065-two of her daughters} . [She]_{294-mrs. eshton} had evidently been [a handsome woman]_{2067-a handsome woman} , and was well preserved still . Of [[her]_{294-mrs. eshton} daughters]_{2066-her daughters} , [the eldest]_{2069-the eldest} , [Amy]_302-amy , was rather little : naive , and [child - like in face and manner , and piquant in form]_{2070-child - like in face and manner , and piquant in form} ; [her]_{2069-the eldest} white muslin dress and blue sash became [her]_{2069-the eldest} well . The second , [Louisa]_303-louisa , was taller and more elegant in figure ; with a very pretty face , of that order the French term [minois chiffone]_{2071-minois chiffone} : [both sisters]_{2072-both sisters} were fair as lilies . [Lady Lynn]_304-mary was a large and stout personage of about forty , very erect , very haughty - looking , richly dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen : [her]_304-mary dark hair shone glossily under the shade of an azure plume , and within the circlet of a band of gems . [Mrs. Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} was less showy ; but , [I]_0-i thought , [more lady]_{2073-more lady} - like . [She]_{294-mrs. eshton} had a slight figure , a pale , gentle face , and fair hair . [Her]_{294-mrs. eshton} black satin dress , [her]_{294-mrs. eshton} scarf of rich foreign lace , and [her]_{294-mrs. eshton} pearl ornaments , pleased [me]_0-i better than the rainbow radiance of [the titled dame]_{2074-the titled dame} . But [the three most distinguished]_{2075-the three most distinguished} - partly , perhaps , because [the tallest figures of the band]_{2076-the tallest figures of the band} - were [the Dowager Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} and [[her]_{305-lady ingram} daughters]_{2066-her daughters} , [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} and [Mary]_304-mary . [They]_{2075-the three most distinguished} were [all three of the loftiest stature of [women]_671-women]_{2078-all three of the loftiest stature of women} . [The Dowager]_{305-lady ingram} might be between forty and fifty : [her]_{305-lady ingram} shape was still fine ; [her]_{305-lady ingram} hair by candle - light at least still black ; [her]_{305-lady ingram} teeth , too , were still apparently perfect . [Most people]_{1754-most people} would have termed [her]_{305-lady ingram} [a splendid woman of [her]_{305-lady ingram} age]_{2081-a splendid woman of her age} : and so [she]_{305-lady ingram} was , no doubt , physically speaking ; but then there was an expression of almost insupportable haughtiness in [her]_{305-lady ingram} bearing and countenance . [She]_{305-lady ingram} had Roman features and a double chin , disappearing into a throat like a pillar : these features appeared to [me]_0-i not only inflated and darkened , but even furrowed with pride ; and the chin was sustained by the same principle , in a position of almost preternatural erectness . [She]_{305-lady ingram} had , likewise , a fierce and a hard eye : it reminded [me]_0-i of [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's ; [she]_{305-lady ingram} mouthed [her]_{305-lady ingram} words in speaking ; [her]_{305-lady ingram} voice was deep , its inflections very pompous , very dogmatical , - very intolerable , in short . A crimson velvet robe , and a shawl turban of some gold - wrought Indian fabric , invested [her]_{305-lady ingram} [I]_0-i suppose [she]_{305-lady ingram} thought with a truly imperial dignity . [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} and [Mary]_304-mary were of equal stature , - straight and tall as poplars . [Mary]_304-mary was too slim for [her]_304-mary height , but [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} was moulded like [a Dian]_{2082-a dian} . [I]_0-i regarded [her]_{305-lady ingram} , of course , with special interest . First , [I]_0-i wished to see whether [her]_{305-lady ingram} appearance accorded with [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} 's description ; secondly , whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature [I]_0-i had painted of [her]_{305-lady ingram} ; and thirdly - it will out ! - whether it were such as [I]_0-i should fancy likely to suit [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's taste . As far as [person]_2083-person went , [she]_{305-lady ingram} answered point for point , both to [my]_0-i picture and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} 's description . The noble bust , the sloping shoulders , the graceful neck , the dark eyes and black ringlets were all there ; - but [her]_{305-lady ingram} face ? [Her]_{305-lady ingram} face was like [[her]_{305-lady ingram} mother]_{767-her mother} 's ; a youthful unfurrowed likeness : the same low brow , the same high features , the same pride . It was not , however , so saturnine a pride ! [she]_{305-lady ingram} laughed continually ; [her]_{305-lady ingram} laugh was satirical , and so was the habitual expression of [her]_{305-lady ingram} arched and haughty lip . [Genius]_306-genius is said to be self - conscious . [I]_0-i can not tell whether [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was [a genius]_{2085-a genius} , but [she]_{297-miss ingram} was self - conscious - remarkably self- conscious indeed . [She]_{297-miss ingram} entered into a discourse on botany with [the gentle Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . It seemed [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} had not studied that science : though , as [she]_{293-colonel dent} said , [she]_{293-colonel dent} liked flowers , " especially wild ones ; "_{[293-colonel dent]} [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} had , and [she]_{297-miss ingram} ran over its vocabulary with an air . [I]_0-i presently perceived [she]_{297-miss ingram} was what is vernacularly termed [TRAILING Mrs. Dent]_{307-trailing mrs. dent} ; that is , playing on [her]_{297-miss ingram} ignorance - [her]_{297-miss ingram} TRAIL might be clever , but it was decidedly not good - natured . [She]_{297-miss ingram} played : [her]_{297-miss ingram} execution was brilliant ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} sang : [her]_{297-miss ingram} voice was fine ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} talked French apart to [[her]_{297-miss ingram} mamma]_{2086-her mamma} ; and [she]_{297-miss ingram} talked it well , with fluency and with a good accent . [Mary]_304-mary had a milder and more open countenance than [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ; softer features too , and a skin some shades fairer [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was dark as [a Spaniard]_{2087-a spaniard} - but [Mary]_304-mary was deficient in life : [her]_304-mary face lacked expression , [her]_304-mary eye lustre ; [she]_304-mary had nothing to say , and having once taken [her]_304-mary seat , remained fixed like a statue in [its]_304-mary niche . [The sisters]_{2088-the sisters} were both attired in spotless white . And did [I]_0-i now think [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} such a choice as [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would be likely to make ? [I]_0-i could not tell - [I]_0-i did not know [his]_{251-mr. rochester} taste in female beauty . If [he]_{251-mr. rochester} liked the majestic , [she]_{297-miss ingram} was [the very type of majesty]_{2089-the very type of majesty} : then [she]_{297-miss ingram} was accomplished , sprightly . [Most gentlemen]_{2090-most gentlemen} would admire [her]_{297-miss ingram} , [I]_0-i thought ; and that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} DID admire [her]_{297-miss ingram} , [I]_0-i already seemed to have obtained proof : to remove the last shade of doubt , it remained but to see [them]_{2088-the sisters} together . [You]_2091-you are not to suppose , [reader]_496-reader , that [Adele]_259-adele has all this time been sitting motionless on the stool at [my]_0-i feet : no ; when [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} entered , [she]_{297-miss ingram} rose , advanced to meet [them]_{1885-the ladies} , made a stately reverence , and said with gravity - " Bon jour , [mesdames]_{5535-mesdames} . "_{[297-miss ingram]} And [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} had looked down at [her]_{297-miss ingram} with a mocking air , and exclaimed , " Oh , what [a little puppet]_{5536-a little puppet} ! "_{[297-miss ingram]} [Lady Lynn]_304-mary had remarked , " It is [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's ward]_{5028-mr. rochester 's ward} , [I]_304-mary suppose - [the little French girl [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was speaking of]_{5538-the little french girl he was speaking of} . "_[304-mary] [Mrs. Dent]_{307-trailing mrs. dent} had kindly taken [her]_{297-miss ingram} hand , and given [her]_{297-miss ingram} a kiss . [Amy]_302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]_303-louisa had cried out simultaneously - " What a love of [a child]_{4305-a child} ! "_[303-louisa] And then [they]_{1885-the ladies} had called [her]_{297-miss ingram} to a sofa , where [she]_{297-miss ingram} now sat , ensconced between [them]_{1885-the ladies} , chattering alternately in French and broken English ; absorbing not only [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} ' attention , but that of [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} and [Lady Lynn]_304-mary , and getting spoilt to [her]_{297-miss ingram} heart 's content . At last coffee is brought in , and [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} are summoned . [I]_0-i sit in the shade - if any shade there be in [this brilliantly - lit apartment]_{2096-this brilliantly - lit apartment} ; the window - curtain half hides [me]_0-i . Again the arch yawns ; [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} come . The collective appearance of [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} , like that of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} , is very imposing : [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} are all costumed in black ; most of [them]_{1742-the gentlemen} are tall , some young . [Henry]_163-henry and [Frederick Lynn]_308-richard are very dashing sparks indeed ; and [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} is [a fine soldierly man]_{2099-a fine soldierly man} . [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} , [the magistrate of [the district]_{1384-the district}]_{2100-the magistrate of the district} , is gentleman - like : [his]_{290-mr. eshton} hair is quite white , [his]_{290-mr. eshton} eyebrows and whiskers still dark , which gives [him]_{290-mr. eshton} something of the appearance of [a " pere noble de theatre]_{5540-a " pere noble de theatre} . "_{[290-mr. eshton]} [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} , like [[his]_{291-lord ingram} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} , is very tall ; like [them]_{4311-his sisters} , also , [he]_{291-lord ingram} is handsome ; but [he]_{291-lord ingram} shares [Mary]_308-richard 's apathetic and listless look : [he]_{291-lord ingram} seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood or vigour of brain . And where is [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [He]_{251-mr. rochester} comes in last : [I]_0-i am not looking at the arch , yet [I]_0-i see [him]_{251-mr. rochester} enter . [I]_0-i try to concentrate [my]_0-i attention on those netting - needles , on the meshes of the purse [I]_0-i am forming - [I]_0-i wish to think only of the work [I]_0-i have in [my]_0-i hands , to see only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in [my]_0-i lap ; whereas , [I]_0-i distinctly behold [his]_{251-mr. rochester} figure , and [I]_0-i inevitably recall the moment when [I]_0-i last saw it ; just after [I]_0-i had rendered [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} deemed , an essential service , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , holding [my]_0-i hand , and looking down on [my]_0-i face , surveyed [me]_0-i with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to overflow ; in whose emotions [I]_0-i had a part . How near had [I]_0-i approached [him]_{251-mr. rochester} at that moment ! What had occurred since , calculated to change [his]_{251-mr. rochester} and [my]_0-i relative positions ? Yet now , how distant , how far estranged [we]_2103-we were ! So far estranged , that [I]_0-i did not expect [him]_{251-mr. rochester} to come and speak to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i did not wonder , when , without looking at [me]_0-i , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} took a seat at the other side of [the room]_{535-the room} , and began conversing with [some of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{1901-some of the ladies} . No sooner did [I]_0-i see that [his]_{251-mr. rochester} attention was riveted on [them]_{1901-some of the ladies} , and that [I]_0-i might gaze without being observed , than [my]_0-i eyes were drawn involuntarily to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face ; [I]_0-i could not keep [their]_{1901-some of the ladies} lids under control : they would rise , and [the irids]_{2107-the irids} would fix on [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i looked , and had an acute pleasure in looking , - a precious yet poignant pleasure ; pure gold , with a steely point of agony : a pleasure like what [the thirst - perishing man]_{2108-the thirst - perishing man} might feel who knows the well to which [he]_{2108-the thirst - perishing man} has crept is poisoned , yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless . Most true is it that " beauty is in the eye of [the gazer]_{5541-the gazer} . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's colourless , olive face , square , massive brow , broad and jetty eyebrows , deep eyes , strong features , firm , grim mouth , - all energy , decision , will , - were not beautiful , according to rule ; but they were more than beautiful to [me]_0-i ; they were full of an interest , an influence that quite mastered [me]_0-i , - that took [my]_0-i feelings from [my]_0-i own power and fettered them in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i had not intended to love [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [the reader]_{947-the reader} knows [I]_0-i had wrought hard to extirpate from [my]_0-i soul the germs of love there detected ; and now , at the first renewed view of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [they]_{1901-some of the ladies} spontaneously arrived , green and strong ! [He]_{251-mr. rochester} made [me]_0-i love [him]_{251-mr. rochester} without looking at [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i compared [him]_{251-mr. rochester} with [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} guests]_{2111-his guests} . What was the gallant grace of [the Lynns]_{309-the lynns} , the languid elegance of [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} , - even the military distinction of [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , contrasted with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} look of native pith and genuine power ? [I]_0-i had no sympathy in [their]_2112-their appearance , [their]_2112-their expression : yet [I]_0-i could imagine that [most observers]_{2113-most observers} would call [them]_2112-their attractive , handsome , imposing ; while [they]_{2113-most observers} would pronounce [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} at once harsh - featured and melancholy - looking . [I]_0-i saw [them]_2112-their smile , laugh - it was nothing ; the light of the candles had as much soul in it as [their]_2112-their smile ; the tinkle of the bell as much significance as [their]_2112-their laugh . [I]_0-i saw [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} smile:- [his]_{251-mr. rochester} stern features softened ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eye grew both brilliant and gentle , its ray both searching and sweet . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was talking , at the moment , to [Louisa]_303-louisa and [Amy Eshton]_302-amy . [I]_0-i wondered to see [them]_2112-their receive with calm that look which seemed to [me]_0-i so penetrating : [I]_0-i expected [their]_2112-their eyes to fall , [their]_2112-their colour to rise under it ; yet [I]_0-i was glad when [I]_0-i found [they]_2112-their were in no sense moved . " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is not to [them]_2112-their what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is to [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought : " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is not of [their]_2112-their kind . [I]_0-i believe [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is of [mine]_0-i ; - [I]_0-i am sure [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is - [I]_0-i feel akin to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} - [I]_0-i understand the language of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} countenance and movements : though rank and wealth sever [us]_5542-us widely , [I]_0-i have something in [my]_0-i brain and heart , in [my]_0-i blood and nerves , that assimilates [me]_0-i mentally to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Did [I]_0-i say , a few days since , that [I]_0-i had nothing to do with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} but to receive [my]_0-i salary at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} hands ? Did [I]_0-i forbid [myself]_0-i to think of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in any other light than as [a paymaster]_{5543-a paymaster} ? Blasphemy against nature ! Every good , true , vigorous feeling [I]_0-i have gathers impulsively round [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i must conceal [my]_0-i sentiments : [I]_0-i must smother hope ; [I]_0-i must remember that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} can not care much for [me]_0-i . For when [I]_0-i say that [I]_0-i am of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} kind , [I]_0-i do not mean that [I]_0-i have [his]_{251-mr. rochester} force to influence , and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} spell to attract ; [I]_0-i mean only that [I]_0-i have certain tastes and feelings in common with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i must , then , repeat continually that [we]_5544-we are for ever sundered:- and yet , while [I]_0-i breathe and think , [I]_0-i must love [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[0-i] Coffee is handed . [The ladies]_{1885-the ladies} , since [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} entered , have become lively as larks ; conversation waxes brisk and merry . [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} argue on politics ; [[their]_{1742-the gentlemen} wives]_{2116-their wives} listen . [The two proud dowagers]_{2117-the two proud dowagers} , [Lady Lynn]_304-mary and [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} , confabulate together . [Sir George]_{292-sir george lynn} - whom , by - the - bye , [I]_0-i have forgotten to describe , - [a very big , and very fresh - looking country gentleman]_{2118-a very big , and very fresh - looking country gentleman} , stands before [their]_{2117-the two proud dowagers} sofa , coffee - cup in hand , and occasionally puts in a word . [Mr. Frederick Lynn]_308-richard has taken a seat beside [Mary Ingram]_{296-mary ingram} , and is showing [her]_{296-mary ingram} the engravings of a splendid volume : [she]_{296-mary ingram} looks , smiles now and then , but apparently says little . [The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} leans with folded arms on the chair - back of the little and lively [Amy Eshton]_302-amy ; [she]_{296-mary ingram} glances up at [him]_{291-lord ingram} , and chatters like [a wren]_{2119-a wren} : [she]_{296-mary ingram} likes [him]_{291-lord ingram} better than [she]_{296-mary ingram} does [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [Henry Lynn]_163-henry has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of [Louisa]_303-louisa : [Adele]_259-adele shares it with [him]_{291-lord ingram} : [he]_{291-lord ingram} is trying to talk [French]_310-french with [her]_303-louisa , and [Louisa]_303-louisa laughs at [his]_{291-lord ingram} blunders . With whom will [Blanche Ingram]_{295-mrs. fairfax} pair ? [She]_303-louisa is standing alone at the table , bending gracefully over an album . [She]_303-louisa seems waiting to be sought ; but [she]_303-louisa will not wait too long : [she]_303-louisa [herself]_303-louisa selects [a mate]_{2120-a mate} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , having quitted [the Eshtons]_{311-the eshtons} , stands on the hearth as solitary as [she]_303-louisa stands by the table : [she]_303-louisa confronts [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , taking [her]_303-louisa station on the opposite side of the mantelpiece . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_303-louisa thought [you]_{251-mr. rochester} were not fond of [children]_524-children ? "_[303-louisa] " Nor am [I.]_303-louisa "_[303-louisa] " Then , what induced [you]_{251-mr. rochester} to take charge of such a little doll as that ? "_[303-louisa] pointing to [Adele]_259-adele . " Where did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} pick [her]_303-louisa up ? "_[303-louisa] " [I]_303-louisa did not pick [her]_303-louisa up ; [she]_303-louisa was left on [my]_303-louisa hands . "_[303-louisa] " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} should have sent [her]_303-louisa to [school]_537-school . "_[303-louisa] " [I]_303-louisa could not afford it : [schools]_5547-schools are so dear . "_[303-louisa] " Why , [I]_303-louisa suppose [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have [a governess for [her]_303-louisa]_{5548-a governess for her} : [I]_303-louisa saw [a person with [her]_303-louisa]_{5549-a person with her} just now - is [she]_303-louisa gone ? Oh , no ! there [she]_303-louisa is still , behind the window - curtain . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} pay [her]_303-louisa , of course ; [I]_303-louisa should think it quite as expensive , - more so ; for [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have [them]_5550-them both to keep in addition . "_[303-louisa] [I]_0-i feared - or should [I]_0-i say , hoped ? - the allusion to [me]_0-i would make [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} glance [my]_0-i way ; and [I]_0-i involuntarily shrank farther into the shade : but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} never turned [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eyes . " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have not considered the subject , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} indifferently , looking straight before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . " No , [[you]_{251-mr. rochester} men]_{5551-you men} never do consider economy and common sense . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} should hear [mama]_4313-mama on the chapter of [governesses]_{4975-governesses} : [Mary]_163-henry and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have had , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should think , a dozen at least in [our]_5554-our day ; half of [them]_{4975-governesses} detestable and the rest ridiculous , and all incubi - were [they]_{4975-governesses} not , [mama]_4313-mama ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} speak , [[my]_{2121-the young lady} own]_{5556-my own} ? "_{[2121-the young lady]} [The young lady]_{2121-the young lady} thus claimed as [[the dowager]_{2122-the dowager} 's special property]_{2123-the dowager 's special property} , reiterated [her]_{2121-the young lady} question with an explanation . " [[My]_{293-colonel dent} dearest]_{5557-my dearest} , do n't mention [governesses]_{4975-governesses} ; the word makes [me]_{293-colonel dent} nervous . [I]_{293-colonel dent} have suffered a martyrdom from [their]_{4975-governesses} incompetency and caprice . [I]_{293-colonel dent} thank [Heaven]_285-heaven [I]_{293-colonel dent} have now done with [them]_{4975-governesses} ! "_{[293-colonel dent]} [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} here bent over to [the pious lady]_{2124-the pious lady} and whispered something in [her]_{2124-the pious lady} ear ; [I]_0-i suppose , from the answer elicited , it was a reminder that [one of [the anathematised race]_{2126-the anathematised race}]_{2125-one of the anathematised race} was present . " Tant pis ! "_{[2127-her ladyship]} said [[her]_{2124-the pious lady} Ladyship]_{2127-her ladyship} , " [I]_{2127-her ladyship} hope it may do [her]_{2124-the pious lady} good ! "_{[2127-her ladyship]} Then , in a lower tone , but still loud enough for [me]_0-i to hear , " [I]_{2127-her ladyship} noticed [her]_{2124-the pious lady} ; [I]_{2127-her ladyship} am a judge of physiognomy , and in [hers]_{2124-the pious lady} [I]_{2127-her ladyship} see all the faults of [[her]_{2124-the pious lady} class]_{5559-her class} . "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " What are [they]_5560-they , [madam]_4457-madam ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} inquired [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} aloud . " [I]_{2124-the pious lady} will tell [you]_{251-mr. rochester} in [your]_{251-mr. rochester} private ear , "_{[2124-the pious lady]} replied [she]_{2124-the pious lady} , wagging [her]_{2124-the pious lady} turban three times with portentous significancy . " But [my]_{2124-the pious lady} curiosity will be past its appetite ; it craves food now . "_{[2124-the pious lady]} " Ask [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ; [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} is nearer [you]_{295-mrs. fairfax} than [I.]_{295-mrs. fairfax} "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " Oh , do n't refer [him]_5562-him to [me]_{2127-her ladyship} , [mama]_4313-mama ! [I]_{2127-her ladyship} have just one word to say of [the whole tribe]_{5564-the whole tribe} ; [they]_{5564-the whole tribe} are a nuisance . Not that [I]_{2127-her ladyship} ever suffered much from [them]_{5564-the whole tribe} ; [I]_{2127-her ladyship} took care to turn the tables . What tricks [Theodore]_204-theodore and [I]_{2127-her ladyship} used to play on [[our]_5565-we [Miss Wilsons]_{312-miss wilsons}]_{5566-our miss wilsons} , and [Mrs. Greys]_{313-mrs. greys} , and [Madame Jouberts]_{314-madame jouberts} ! [Mary]_163-henry was always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit . The best fun was with [Madame Joubert]_{315-madame joubert} : [Miss Wilson]_{316-miss wilson} was [a poor sickly thing]_{5567-a poor sickly thing} , lachrymose and low - spirited , not worth the trouble of vanquishing , in short ; and [Mrs. Grey]_{317-mrs. grey} was coarse and insensible ; no blow took effect on [her]_{315-madame joubert} . But poor [Madame Joubert]_{315-madame joubert} ! [I]_{2127-her ladyship} see [her]_{315-madame joubert} yet in [her]_{315-madame joubert} raging passions , when [we]_5565-we had driven [her]_{315-madame joubert} to extremities - spilt [our]_5565-we tea , crumbled [our]_5565-we bread and butter , tossed [our]_5565-we books up to the ceiling , and played a charivari with the ruler and desk , the fender and fire - irons . [Theodore]_204-theodore , do [you]_204-theodore remember those merry days ? "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " [Yaas]_318-yaas , to be sure [I]_{291-lord ingram} do , "_{[291-lord ingram]} drawled [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} ; " and [the poor old stick]_{5568-the poor old stick} used to cry out ' Oh [[you]_204-theodore villains childs]_{5569-you villains childs} ! ' - and then [we]_5565-we sermonised [her]_{315-madame joubert} on the presumption of attempting to teach such clever blades as [we]_5565-we were , when [she]_{315-madame joubert} was [herself]_{315-madame joubert} so ignorant . "_{[291-lord ingram]} " [We]_5565-we did ; and , [Tedo]_319-tedo , [you]_319-tedo know , [I]_{2127-her ladyship} helped [you]_319-tedo in prosecuting or persecuting [[your]_319-tedo tutor]_{5570-your tutor} , whey - faced [Mr. Vining]_{320-mr. vining} - [the parson in the pip]_{5571-the parson in the pip} , as [we]_5565-we used to call [him]_{320-mr. vining} . [He]_{320-mr. vining} and [Miss Wilson]_{316-miss wilson} took the liberty of falling in love with [each other]_{724-each other} - at least [Tedo]_319-tedo and [I]_{2127-her ladyship} thought so ; [we]_5565-we surprised sundry tender glances and sighs which [we]_5565-we interpreted as tokens of ' la belle passion , ' and [I]_{2127-her ladyship} promise [you]_319-tedo [the public]_{462-the public} soon had the benefit of [our]_5565-we discovery ; [we]_5565-we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist [our]_5565-we dead - weights from [the house]_{4322-the house} . [Dear mama]_{5575-dear mama} , there , as soon as [she]_{5575-dear mama} got an inkling of the business , found out that it was of an immoral tendency . Did [you]_319-tedo not , [[my]_{2127-her ladyship} lady]_{5576-my lady} - mother ? "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " Certainly , [my]_{2127-her ladyship} best . And [I]_{2127-her ladyship} was quite right : depend on that : there are a thousand reasons why liaisons between [governesses]_{4975-governesses} and [tutors]_5578-tutors should never be tolerated a moment in [any well - regulated house]_{5579-any well - regulated house} ; firstly - "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " Oh , gracious , [mama]_4313-mama ! Spare [us]_5565-we the enumeration ! Au reste , [we]_5565-we all know [them]_5581-them : danger of bad example to innocence of childhood ; distractions and consequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached - mutual alliance and reliance ; confidence thence resulting - insolence accompanying - mutiny and general blow - up . Am [I]_{291-lord ingram} right , [Baroness Ingram]_{321-baroness ingram} , of [Ingram Park]_{70-ingram park} ? "_{[291-lord ingram]} " [My]_{2127-her ladyship} lily - flower , [you]_319-tedo are right now , as always . "_{[2127-her ladyship]} " Then no more need be said : change the subject . "_{[2127-her ladyship]} [Amy Eshton]_302-amy , not hearing or not heeding this dictum , joined in with [her]_302-amy soft , infantine tone : " [Louisa]_303-louisa and [I]_302-amy used to quiz [[our]_5565-we governess]_{5582-our governess} too ; but [she]_{5582-our governess} was such [a good creature]_{5583-a good creature} , [she]_{5582-our governess} would bear anything : nothing put [her]_{5582-our governess} out . [She]_{5582-our governess} was never cross with [us]_5565-we ; was [she]_{5582-our governess} , [Louisa]_303-louisa ? "_[302-amy] " No , never : [we]_5565-we might do what [we]_5565-we pleased ; ransack [her]_{5582-our governess} desk and [her]_{5582-our governess} workbox , and turn [her]_{5582-our governess} drawers inside out ; and [she]_{5582-our governess} was so good- natured , [she]_{5582-our governess} would give [us]_5565-we anything [we]_5565-we asked for . "_{[291-lord ingram]} " [I]_{297-miss ingram} suppose , now , "_{[297-miss ingram]} said [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , curling [her]_{297-miss ingram} lip sarcastically , " [we]_5565-we shall have an abstract of the memoirs of [all the governesses]_{5584-all the governesses} extant : in order to avert such a visitation , [I]_{297-miss ingram} again move the introduction of a new topic . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , do [you]_{251-mr. rochester} second [my]_{297-miss ingram} motion ? "_{[297-miss ingram]} " [Madam]_4457-madam , [I]_{291-lord ingram} support [you]_{251-mr. rochester} on this point , as on every other . "_{[291-lord ingram]} " Then on [me]_{291-lord ingram} be the onus of bringing it forward . [Signior Eduardo]_{322-signior eduardo} , are [you]_{251-mr. rochester} in voice to - night ? "_{[291-lord ingram]} " [Donna Bianca]_{323-donna bianca} , if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} command it , [I]_{297-miss ingram} will be . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " Then , signior , [I]_{291-lord ingram} lay on [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [my]_{291-lord ingram} sovereign behest to furbish up [your]_{251-mr. rochester} lungs and other vocal organs , as they will be wanted on [my]_{291-lord ingram} royal service . "_{[291-lord ingram]} " Who would not be [the Rizzio of so divine a Mary]_{5586-the rizzio of so divine a mary} ? "_{[291-lord ingram]} " A fig for [Rizzio]_324-rizzio ! "_[2128-my] cried [she]_2128-my , tossing [her]_2128-my head with all its curls , as [she]_2128-my moved to the piano . " It is [my]_2128-my opinion [the fiddler [David]_325-david]_{5587-the fiddler david} must have been [an insipid sort of fellow]_{5588-an insipid sort of fellow} ; [I]_2128-my like [black Bothwell]_{326-black bothwell} better : to [my]_2128-my mind [a man]_{4429-a man} is nothing without a spice of the devil in [him]_{4429-a man} ; and history may say what it will of [James Hepburn]_{327-james hepburn} , but [I]_2128-my have a notion , [he]_{327-james hepburn} was just [the sort of wild , fierce , bandit hero whom [I]_2128-my could have consented to gift with [my]_2128-my hand]_{5590-the sort of wild , fierce , bandit hero whom i could have consented to gift with my hand} . "_[2128-my] " [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} , [you]_{475-gentlemen} hear ! Now which of [you]_{475-gentlemen} most resembles [Bothwell]_{326-black bothwell} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} cried [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " [I]_{293-colonel dent} should say the preference lies with [you]_{475-gentlemen} , "_{[293-colonel dent]} responded [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . " On [my]_{293-colonel dent} honour , [I]_{293-colonel dent} am much obliged to [you]_{475-gentlemen} , "_{[293-colonel dent]} was the reply . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , who had now seated [herself]_{297-miss ingram} with proud grace at the piano , spreading out [her]_{297-miss ingram} snowy robes in queenly amplitude , commenced a brilliant prelude ; talking meantime . [She]_{297-miss ingram} appeared to be on [her]_{297-miss ingram} high horse to - night ; both [her]_{297-miss ingram} words and [her]_{297-miss ingram} air seemed intended to excite not only the admiration , but the amazement of [[her]_{297-miss ingram} auditors]_{2129-her auditors} : [she]_{297-miss ingram} was evidently bent on striking [them]_{2129-her auditors} as something very dashing and daring indeed . " Oh , [I]_{297-miss ingram} am so sick of [the young men of the present day]_{5592-the young men of the present day} ! "_{[297-miss ingram]} exclaimed [she]_{297-miss ingram} , rattling away at the instrument . " Poor , puny things , not fit to stir a step beyond [[papa]_4423-papa 's park gates]_{5594-papa 's park gates} : nor to go even so far without [mama]_4313-mama 's permission and guardianship ! Creatures so absorbed in care about [their]_{5592-the young men of the present day} pretty faces , and [their]_{5592-the young men of the present day} white hands , and [their]_{5592-the young men of the present day} small feet ; as if [a man]_{4429-a man} had anything to do with beauty ! As if loveliness were not the special prerogative of [woman]_1225-woman - [her]_1225-woman legitimate appanage and heritage ! [I]_{297-miss ingram} grant [an ugly WOMAN]_{5598-an ugly woman} is a blot on the fair face of creation ; but as to [the GENTLEMEN]_{1742-the gentlemen} , let [them]_{1742-the gentlemen} be solicitous to possess only strength and valour : let [their]_{1742-the gentlemen} motto be:- Hunt , shoot , and fight : the rest is not worth a fillip . Such should be [my]_{297-miss ingram} device , were [I]_{297-miss ingram} [a man]_{4429-a man} . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " Whenever [I]_{297-miss ingram} marry , "_{[297-miss ingram]} [she]_{297-miss ingram} continued after a pause which [none]_914-none interrupted , " [I]_{297-miss ingram} am resolved [[my]_{297-miss ingram} husband]_{5014-my husband} shall not be [a rival]_{5602-a rival} , but a foil to [me]_{297-miss ingram} . [I]_{297-miss ingram} will suffer [no competitor near the throne]_{5603-no competitor near the throne} ; [I]_{297-miss ingram} shall exact an undivided homage : [his]_{5014-my husband} devotions shall not be shared between [me]_{297-miss ingram} and the shape [he]_{5014-my husband} sees in [his]_{5014-my husband} mirror . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , now sing , and [I]_{297-miss ingram} will play for [you]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " [I]_{297-miss ingram} am all obedience , "_{[297-miss ingram]} was the response . " Here then is a Corsair - song . Know that [I]_{297-miss ingram} doat on [Corsairs]_328-corsairs ; and for that reason , sing it con spirito . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " Commands from [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's lips would put spirit into a mug of milk and water . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " Take care , then : if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} do n't please [me]_{945-the lady} , [I]_{945-the lady} will shame [you]_{251-mr. rochester} by showing how such things SHOULD be done . "_{[945-the lady]} " That is offering a premium on incapacity : [I]_{297-miss ingram} shall now endeavour to fail . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " Gardez - vous en bien ! If [you]_{251-mr. rochester} err wilfully , [I]_{297-miss ingram} shall devise a proportionate punishment . "_{[297-miss ingram]} " [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ought to be clement , for [she]_{297-miss ingram} has it in [her]_{297-miss ingram} power to inflict a chastisement beyond mortal endurance . "_{[945-the lady]} " Ha ! explain ! "_{[945-the lady]} commanded [the lady]_{945-the lady} . " Pardon [me]_{945-the lady} , [madam]_4457-madam : no need of explanation ; [your]_4457-madam own fine sense must inform [you]_4457-madam that one of [your]_4457-madam frowns would be a sufficient substitute for capital punishment . "_{[945-the lady]} " Sing ! "_{[945-the lady]} said [she]_{945-the lady} , and again touching the piano , [she]_{945-the lady} commenced an accompaniment in spirited style . " Now is [my]_0-i time to slip away , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i : but the tones that then severed the air arrested [me]_0-i . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} had said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} possessed a fine voice : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did - a mellow , powerful bass , into which [he]_{251-mr. rochester} threw [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own feeling , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own force ; finding a way through the ear to the heart , and there waking sensation strangely . [I]_0-i waited till the last deep and full vibration had expired - till the tide of talk , checked an instant , had resumed its flow ; [I]_0-i then quitted [my]_0-i sheltered corner and made [my]_0-i exit by the side - door , which was fortunately near . Thence [a narrow passage]_{2132-a narrow passage} led into [the hall]_{608-the hall} : in crossing [it]_{2132-a narrow passage} , [I]_0-i perceived [my]_0-i sandal was loose ; [I]_0-i stopped to tie it , kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot of [the staircase]_{2134-the staircase} . [I]_0-i heard [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} door unclose ; [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} came out ; rising hastily , [I]_0-i stood face to face with [him]_{638-a gentleman} : it was [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " How do [you]_0-i do ? "_{[638-a gentleman]} [he]_{638-a gentleman} asked . " [I]_{638-a gentleman} am very well , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[638-a gentleman]} " Why did [you]_{638-a gentleman} not come and speak to [me]_0-i in [the room]_{535-the room} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i might have retorted the question on [him]_{638-a gentleman} who put it : but [I]_0-i would not take that freedom . [I]_0-i answered - " [I]_0-i did not wish to disturb [you]_{638-a gentleman} , as [you]_{638-a gentleman} seemed engaged , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " What have [you]_{638-a gentleman} been doing during [my]_{638-a gentleman} absence ? "_{[638-a gentleman]} " Nothing particular ; teaching [Adele]_259-adele as usual . "_{[638-a gentleman]} " And getting a good deal paler than [you]_{638-a gentleman} were - as [I]_0-i saw at first sight . What is the matter ? "_[0-i] " Nothing at all , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[638-a gentleman]} " Did [you]_{638-a gentleman} take any cold that night [you]_{638-a gentleman} half drowned [me]_{638-a gentleman} ? "_{[638-a gentleman]} " Not the least . "_[0-i] " Return to [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} : [you]_{638-a gentleman} are deserting too early . "_{[638-a gentleman]} " [I]_{638-a gentleman} am tired , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[638-a gentleman]} [He]_{638-a gentleman} looked at [me]_0-i for a minute . " And a little depressed , "_{[638-a gentleman]} [he]_{638-a gentleman} said . " What about ? Tell [me]_{638-a gentleman} . "_{[638-a gentleman]} " Nothing - nothing , [sir]_4374-sir . [I]_0-i am not depressed . "_[0-i] " But [I]_2137-i affirm that [you]_{638-a gentleman} are : so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to [your]_{638-a gentleman} eyes - indeed , they are there now , shining and swimming ; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag . If [I]_2137-i had time , and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of [a servant]_{4337-a servant} passing , [I]_2137-i would know what all this means . Well , to - night [I]_2137-i excuse [you]_{638-a gentleman} ; but understand that so long as [[my]_2137-i visitors]_{4802-my visitors} stay , [I]_2137-i expect [you]_{638-a gentleman} to appear in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} every evening ; it is [my]_2137-i wish ; do n't neglect it . Now go , and send [Sophie]_256-sophie for [Adele]_259-adele . Good - night , [my]_2137-i - "_[2137-i] [He]_2137-i stopped , bit [his]_2137-i lip , and abruptly left [me]_0-i . CHAPTER XVIII Merry days were these at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} ; and busy days too : how different from the first three months of stillness , monotony , and solitude [I]_0-i had passed beneath [its]_{53-thornfield hall} roof ! All sad feelings seemed now driven from [the house]_{4322-the house} , all gloomy associations forgotten : there was life everywhere , movement all day long . [You]_2139-you could not now traverse [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , once so hushed , nor enter [the front chambers]_{1939-the front chambers} , once so tenantless , without encountering [a smart lady's - maid]_{2142-a smart lady's - maid} or [a dandy valet]_{2143-a dandy valet} . [The kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , [[the butler]_{4948-the butler} 's pantry]_{2146-the butler 's pantry} , [[the servants]_{546-the servants} ' hall]_{2001-the servants ' hall} , [the entrance hall]_{2149-the entrance hall} , were equally alive ; and [the saloons]_{2150-the saloons} were only left void and still when the blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called [[their]_{2150-the saloons} occupants]_{2151-their occupants} out into [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} . Even when that weather was broken , and continuous rain set in for some days , no damp seemed cast over enjoyment : indoor amusements only became more lively and varied , in consequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety . [I]_0-i wondered what [they]_2153-they were going to do the first evening a change of entertainment was proposed : [they]_2153-they spoke of " playing charades , "_[2153-they] but in [my]_0-i ignorance [I]_0-i did not understand the term . [The servants]_{546-the servants} were called in , the dining - room tables wheeled away , the lights otherwise disposed , the chairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch . While [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [the other gentlemen]_{2155-the other gentlemen} directed these alterations , [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} were running up and down stairs ringing for [[their]_{1885-the ladies} maids]_{5501-their maids} . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} was summoned to give information respecting the resources of [the house]_{4322-the house} in shawls , dresses , draperies of any kind ; and certain wardrobes of [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey} were ransacked , and their contents , in the shape of brocaded and hooped petticoats , satin sacques , black modes , lace lappets , c. , were brought down in armfuls by [the abigails]_{2005-the abigails} ; then a selection was made , and such things as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} . Meantime , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had again summoned [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} round [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , and was selecting certain of [their]_{1885-the ladies} number to be of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} party]_{2163-his party} . " [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} is [mine]_{251-mr. rochester} , of course , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} : afterwards [he]_{251-mr. rochester} named [the two Misses Eshton]_{2164-the two misses eshton} , and [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} looked at [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i happened to be near [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , as [I]_0-i had been fastening the clasp of [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} 's bracelet , which had got loose . " Will [you]_0-i play ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} asked . [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} did not insist , which [I]_0-i rather feared [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would have done ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} allowed [me]_0-i to return quietly to [my]_0-i usual seat . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} and [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} aids]_{2165-his aids} now withdrew behind the curtain : [the other party]_{2166-the other party} , which was headed by [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , sat down on the crescent of chairs . [One of [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen}]_{2167-one of the gentlemen} , [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} , observing [me]_0-i , seemed to propose that [I]_0-i should be asked to join [them]_{2166-the other party} ; but [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} instantly negatived the notion . " No , "_{[305-lady ingram]} [I]_0-i heard [her]_{305-lady ingram} say : ' [she]_{305-lady ingram} looks too stupid for any game of the sort . " Ere long a bell tinkled , and the curtain drew up . Within the arch , the bulky figure of [Sir George Lynn]_{292-sir george lynn} , whom [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had likewise chosen , was seen enveloped in a white sheet : before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , on a table , lay open a large book ; and at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} side stood [Amy Eshton]_302-amy , draped in [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's cloak , and holding a book in [her]_302-amy hand . [Somebody]_{4813-somebody} , unseen , rang the bell merrily ; then [Adele]_259-adele who had insisted on being [one of [[her]_259-adele guardian]_{1764-her guardian} 's party]_{5616-one of her guardian 's party} , bounded forward , scattering round [her]_259-adele the contents of a basket of flowers [she]_259-adele carried on [her]_259-adele arm . Then appeared the magnificent figure of [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , clad in white , a long veil on [her]_{305-lady ingram} head , and a wreath of roses round [her]_{305-lady ingram} brow ; by [her]_{305-lady ingram} side walked [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , and together [they]_5618-they drew near the table . [They]_5618-they knelt ; while [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [Louisa Eshton]_303-louisa , dressed also in white , took up [their]_5618-they stations behind [them]_5618-they . A ceremony followed , in dumb show , in which it was easy to recognise the pantomime of a marriage . At its termination , [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} party]_{2163-his party} consulted in whispers for two minutes , then [the Colonel]_{5620-the colonel} called out - "_{[305-lady ingram]} [Bride]_2169-bride ! " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} bowed , and the curtain fell . A considerable interval elapsed before [it]_5621-it again rose . [Its]_5621-it second rising displayed a more elaborately prepared scene than the last . [The drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} , as [I]_2170-i have before observed , was raised two steps above [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , and on the top of the upper step , placed a yard or two back within [the room]_{535-the room} , appeared a large marble basin - which [I]_2170-i recognised as an ornament of [the conservatory]_{595-the conservatory} - where [it]_5621-it usually stood , surrounded by exotics , and tenanted by gold fish - and whence it must have been transported with some trouble , on account of its size and weight . [Seated on the carpet]_{5626-seated on the carpet} , by the side of this basin , was seen [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , costumed in shawls , with a turban on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} head . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} dark eyes and swarthy skin and [Paynim]_329-paynim features suited the costume exactly : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked [the very model of an Eastern emir]_{5627-the very model of an eastern emir} , [an agent]_{5628-an agent} or [a victim of the bowstring]_{5629-a victim of the bowstring} . [Presently]_{330-presently} advanced into view [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . [She]_{297-miss ingram} , too , was attired in oriental fashion : a crimson scarf tied sash - like round the waist : an embroidered handkerchief knotted about [her]_{297-miss ingram} temples ; [her]_{297-miss ingram} beautifully - moulded arms bare , one of them upraised in the act of supporting a pitcher , poised gracefully on [her]_{297-miss ingram} head . Both [her]_{297-miss ingram} cast of form and feature , [her]_{297-miss ingram} complexion and [her]_{297-miss ingram} general air , suggested the idea of [some Israelitish princess of the patriarchal days]_{5630-some israelitish princess of the patriarchal days} ; and such was doubtless the character [she]_{297-miss ingram} intended to represent . [She]_{297-miss ingram} approached the basin , and bent over it as if to fill [her]_{297-miss ingram} pitcher ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} again lifted it to [her]_{297-miss ingram} head . [The personage on the well - brink]_{5631-the personage on the well - brink} now seemed to accost [her]_{297-miss ingram} ; to make some request:- "_[2170-i] [She]_2170-i hasted , let down [her]_2170-i pitcher on [her]_2170-i hand , and gave [him]_2171-his to drink . " From the bosom of [his]_2171-his robe [he]_2171-his then produced a casket , opened it and showed magnificent bracelets and earrings ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} acted astonishment and admiration ; kneeling , [he]_2171-his laid the treasure at [her]_{297-miss ingram} feet ; incredulity and delight were expressed by [her]_{297-miss ingram} looks and gestures ; [the stranger]_{5632-the stranger} fastened the bracelets on [her]_{297-miss ingram} arms and the rings in [her]_{297-miss ingram} ears . It was [Eliezer]_331-eliezer and [Rebecca]_332-rebecca : the camels only were wanting . [The divining party]_{5633-the divining party} again laid [their]_{5633-the divining party} heads together : apparently [they]_{5633-the divining party} could not agree about the word or syllable the scene illustrated . [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , [[their]_{5633-the divining party} spokesman]_{5634-their spokesman} , demanded "_[2170-i] the tableau of the whole ; " whereupon the curtain again descended . On [its]_5635-its third rising only a portion of [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} was disclosed ; the rest being concealed by a screen , hung with some sort of dark and coarse drapery . The marble basin was removed ; in [its]_5635-its place , stood a deal table and a kitchen chair : these objects were visible by a very dim light proceeding from a horn lantern , the wax candles being all extinguished . Amidst this sordid scene , sat [a man with [his]_2171-his clenched hands resting on [his]_2171-his knees , and [his]_2171-his eyes bent on the ground]_{5637-a man with his clenched hands resting on his knees , and his eyes bent on the ground} . [I]_{333-bridewell} knew [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; though the begrimed face , the disordered dress [his]_2171-his coat hanging loose from one arm , as if it had been almost torn from [his]_2171-his back in a scuffle , the desperate and scowling countenance , the rough , bristling hair might well have disguised [him]_2171-his . As [he]_2171-his moved , a chain clanked ; to [his]_2171-his wrists were attached fetters . "_{[333-bridewell]} [Bridewell]_{333-bridewell} ! " exclaimed [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , and the charade was solved . A sufficient interval having elapsed for [the performers]_{5638-the performers} to resume [their]_{5638-the performers} ordinary costume , [they]_{5638-the performers} re - entered [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} led in [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} was complimenting [him]_2171-his on [his]_2171-his acting . "_{[333-bridewell]} Do [you]_2172-you know , " said [she]_{297-miss ingram} , "_[2172-you] that , of [the three characters]_{2173-the three characters} , [I]_0-i liked [you]_2172-you in the last best ? Oh , had [you]_2172-you but lived a few years earlier , what [a gallant gentleman]_{2174-a gallant gentleman} - [highwayman]_{2175-highwayman} [you]_2172-you would have made ! " "_{[2175-highwayman]} Is all the soot washed from [my]_0-i face ? " [he]_2171-his asked , turning it towards [her]_{297-miss ingram} . "_{[2175-highwayman]} Alas ! yes : the more 's the pity ! Nothing could be more becoming to [your]_2172-you complexion than that ruffian 's rouge . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i would like [a hero of the road]_{2176-a hero of the road} then ? " "_[0-i] [An English hero of the road]_{2177-an english hero of the road} would be the next best thing to [an Italian bandit]_{2178-an italian bandit} ; and that could only be surpassed by [a Levantine pirate]_{2179-a levantine pirate} . " "_{[2179-a levantine pirate]} Well , whatever [I]_0-i am , remember [you]_2172-you are [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} ; [we]_2181-we were married an hour since , in the presence of [all these witnesses]_{2182-all these witnesses} . " [She]_{297-miss ingram} giggled , and [her]_{297-miss ingram} colour rose . "_{[293-colonel dent]} Now , [Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , " continued [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , "_{[293-colonel dent]} it is [your]_{293-colonel dent} turn . " And as [the other party]_{2166-the other party} withdrew , [he]_2171-his and [[his]_2171-his band]_{5641-his band} took the vacated seats . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} placed [herself]_{297-miss ingram} at [[her]_{297-miss ingram} leader]_{5642-her leader} 's right hand ; [the other diviners]_{5643-the other diviners} filled the chairs on each side of [him]_2171-his and [her]_{297-miss ingram} . [I]_{293-colonel dent} did not now watch [the actors]_{5644-the actors} ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} no longer waited with interest for the curtain to rise ; [my]_{293-colonel dent} attention was absorbed by [the spectators]_{5645-the spectators} ; [my]_{293-colonel dent} eyes , erewhile fixed on the arch , were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle of chairs . What charade [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [[his]_2171-his party]_{2163-his party} played , what word [they]_{5644-the actors} chose , how [they]_{5644-the actors} acquitted [themselves]_{5644-the actors} , [I]_{293-colonel dent} no longer remember ; but [I]_{293-colonel dent} still see the consultation which followed each scene : [I]_{293-colonel dent} see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} turn to [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , and [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} to [him]_2171-his ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} see [her]_{297-miss ingram} incline [her]_{297-miss ingram} head towards [him]_2171-his , till the jetty curls almost touch [his]_2171-his shoulder and wave against [his]_2171-his cheek ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} hear [their]_{5644-the actors} mutual whisperings ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} recall [their]_{5644-the actors} interchanged glances ; and something even of the feeling roused by the spectacle returns in memory at this moment . [I]_{293-colonel dent} have told [you]_5647-you , [reader]_496-reader , that [I]_{293-colonel dent} had learnt to love [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : [I]_{293-colonel dent} could not unlove [him]_2171-his now , merely because [I]_{293-colonel dent} found that [he]_2171-his had ceased to notice [me]_{293-colonel dent} - because [I]_{293-colonel dent} might pass hours in [his]_2171-his presence , and [he]_2171-his would never once turn [his]_2171-his eyes in [my]_{293-colonel dent} direction - because [I]_{293-colonel dent} saw all [his]_2171-his attentions appropriated by [a great lady]_{5649-a great lady} , who scorned to touch [me]_{293-colonel dent} with the hem of [her]_{5649-a great lady} robes as [she]_{5649-a great lady} passed ; who , if ever [her]_{5649-a great lady} dark and imperious eye fell on [me]_{293-colonel dent} by chance , would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation . [I]_{293-colonel dent} could not unlove [him]_2171-his , because [I]_{293-colonel dent} felt sure [he]_2171-his would soon marry [this very lady]_{5650-this very lady} - because [I]_{293-colonel dent} read daily in [her]_{5650-this very lady} a proud security in [his]_2171-his intentions respecting [her]_{5650-this very lady} - because [I]_{293-colonel dent} witnessed hourly in [him]_2171-his a style of courtship which , if careless and choosing rather to be sought than to seek , was yet , in its very carelessness , captivating , and in its very pride , irresistible . There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances , though much to create despair . Much too , [you]_5651-you will think , [reader]_496-reader , to engender jealousy : if [a woman]_{4399-a woman} , in [my]_{293-colonel dent} position , could presume to be jealous of [a woman in [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's]_{5654-a woman in miss ingram 's} . But [I]_{293-colonel dent} was not jealous : or very rarely ; - the nature of the pain [I]_{293-colonel dent} suffered could not be explained by that word . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was a mark beneath jealousy : [she]_{297-miss ingram} was too inferior to excite the feeling . Pardon the seeming paradox ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} mean what [I]_{293-colonel dent} say . [She]_{297-miss ingram} was very showy , but [she]_{297-miss ingram} was not genuine : [she]_{297-miss ingram} had [a fine person]_{5655-a fine person} , many brilliant attainments ; but [her]_{297-miss ingram} mind was poor , [her]_{297-miss ingram} heart barren by nature : nothing bloomed spontaneously on that soil ; no unforced natural fruit delighted by its freshness . [She]_{297-miss ingram} was not good ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} was not original : [she]_{297-miss ingram} used to repeat sounding phrases from books : [she]_{297-miss ingram} never offered , nor had , an opinion of [her]_{297-miss ingram} own . [She]_{297-miss ingram} advocated a high tone of sentiment ; but [she]_{297-miss ingram} did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity ; tenderness and truth were not in [her]_{297-miss ingram} . Too often [she]_{297-miss ingram} betrayed this , by the undue vent [she]_{297-miss ingram} gave to a spiteful antipathy [she]_{297-miss ingram} had conceived against [little Adele]_259-adele : pushing [her]_259-adele away with some contumelious epithet if [she]_259-adele happened to approach [her]_259-adele ; sometimes ordering [her]_259-adele from [the room]_{535-the room} , and always treating [her]_259-adele with coldness and acrimony . [Other eyes besides [mine]_5658-mine]_{5657-other eyes besides mine} watched these manifestations of character - watched [them]_5659-them closely , keenly , shrewdly . Yes ; [the future bridegroom]_{5660-the future bridegroom} , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} , exercised over [his]_{251-mr. rochester} intended a ceaseless surveillance ; and it was from this sagacity - this guardedness of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} - this perfect , clear consciousness of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} fair one]_{5661-his fair one} 's defects - this obvious absence of passion in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} sentiments towards [her]_{5661-his fair one} , that [my]_{293-colonel dent} ever - torturing pain arose . [I]_{293-colonel dent} saw [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was going to marry [her]_{5661-his fair one} , for family , perhaps political reasons , because [her]_{5661-his fair one} rank and connections suited [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [I]_{293-colonel dent} felt [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had not given [her]_{5661-his fair one} [his]_{251-mr. rochester} love , and that [her]_{5661-his fair one} qualifications were ill adapted to win from [him]_{251-mr. rochester} that treasure . This was the point - this was where the nerve was touched and teased - this was where the fever was sustained and fed : [SHE]_{5661-his fair one} COULD NOT CHARM [HIM]_{251-mr. rochester} . If [she]_{5661-his fair one} had managed the victory at once , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had yielded and sincerely laid [his]_{251-mr. rochester} heart at [her]_{5661-his fair one} feet , [I]_{293-colonel dent} should have covered [my]_{293-colonel dent} face , turned to the wall , and figuratively have died to [them]_5662-them . If [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} had been [a good and noble woman , endowed with force , fervour , kindness , sense]_{5663-a good and noble woman , endowed with force , fervour , kindness , sense} , [I]_{293-colonel dent} should have had one vital struggle with two tigers - jealousy and despair : then , [my]_{293-colonel dent} heart torn out and devoured , [I]_{293-colonel dent} should have admired [her]_{297-miss ingram} - acknowledged [her]_{297-miss ingram} excellence , and been quiet for the rest of [my]_{293-colonel dent} days : and the more absolute [her]_{297-miss ingram} superiority , the deeper would have been [my]_{293-colonel dent} admiration - the more truly tranquil [my]_{293-colonel dent} quiescence . But as matters really stood , to watch [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's efforts at fascinating [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , to witness [their]_5662-them repeated failure - [herself]_{297-miss ingram} unconscious that [they]_5662-them did fail ; vainly fancying that each shaft launched hit the mark , and infatuatedly pluming [herself]_{297-miss ingram} on success , when [her]_{297-miss ingram} pride and self - complacency repelled further and further what [she]_{297-miss ingram} wished to allure - to witness THIS , was to be at once under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint . Because , when [she]_{297-miss ingram} failed , [I]_{293-colonel dent} saw how [she]_{297-miss ingram} might have succeeded . Arrows that continually glanced off from [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's breast and fell harmless at [his]_2184-his feet , might , [I]_{293-colonel dent} knew , if shot by a surer hand , have quivered keen in [his]_2184-his proud heart - have called love into [his]_2184-his stern eye , and softness into [his]_2184-his sardonic face ; or , better still , without weapons a silent conquest might have been won . "_{[293-colonel dent]} Why can [she]_2183-she not influence [him]_2184-his more , when [she]_2183-she is privileged to draw so near to [him]_2184-his ? " [I]_2183-she asked [myself]_2183-she . "_[2183-she] Surely [she]_2183-she can not truly like [him]_2184-his , or not like [him]_2184-his with true affection ! If [she]_2183-she did , [she]_2183-she need not coin [her]_2183-she smiles so lavishly , flash [her]_2183-she glances so unremittingly , manufacture airs so elaborate , graces so multitudinous . It seems to [me]_0-i that [she]_2183-she might , by merely sitting quietly at [his]_2184-his side , saying little and looking less , get nigher [his]_2184-his heart . [I]_0-i have seen in [his]_2184-his face a far different expression from that which hardens it now while [she]_2183-she is so vivaciously accosting [him]_2184-his ; but then it came of itself : it was not elicited by meretricious arts and calculated manoeuvres ; and [one]_4415-one had but to accept it - to answer what [he]_2184-his asked without pretension , to address [him]_2184-his when needful without grimace - and it increased and grew kinder and more genial , and warmed [one like a fostering sunbeam]_{2186-one like a fostering sunbeam} . How will [she]_2183-she manage to please [him]_2184-his when [they]_2187-they are married ? [I]_0-i do not think [she]_2183-she will manage it ; and yet it might be managed ; and [[his]_2184-his wife]_{4986-his wife} might , [I]_0-i verily believe , be [the very happiest woman the sun shines on]_{2189-the very happiest woman the sun shines on} . " [I]_{4986-his wife} have not yet said anything condemnatory of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's project of marrying for interest and connections . It surprised [me]_{4986-his wife} when [I]_{4986-his wife} first discovered that such was [his]_2184-his intention : [I]_{4986-his wife} had thought [him]_2184-his [a man unlikely to be influenced by motives so commonplace in [his]_2184-his choice of [a wife]_{5665-a wife}]_{5664-a man unlikely to be influenced by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife} ; but the longer [I]_{4986-his wife} considered the position , education , c. , of [the parties]_{5666-the parties} , the less [I]_{4986-his wife} felt justified in judging and blaming either [him]_2184-his or [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} for acting in conformity to ideas and principles instilled into [them]_5667-their , doubtless , from [their]_5667-their childhood . [All [their]_5667-their class]_{5668-all their class} held these principles : [I]_{4986-his wife} supposed , then , [they]_5667-their had reasons for holding them such as [I]_{4986-his wife} could not fathom . It seemed to [me]_{4986-his wife} that , were [I]_{4986-his wife} [a gentleman like [him]_2184-his]_{5669-a gentleman like him} , [I]_{4986-his wife} would take to [my]_{4986-his wife} bosom only such [a wife as [I]_{4986-his wife} could love]_{5670-a wife as i could love} ; but the very obviousness of the advantages to [the husband]_{5671-the husband} 's own happiness offered by this plan convinced [me]_{4986-his wife} that there must be arguments against its general adoption of which [I]_{4986-his wife} was quite ignorant : otherwise [I]_{4986-his wife} felt sure all [the world]_{484-the world} would act as [I]_{4986-his wife} wished to act . But in other points , as well as this , [I]_{4986-his wife} was growing very lenient to [[my]_{4986-his wife} master]_{4336-my master} : [I]_{4986-his wife} was forgetting all [his]_2184-his faults , for which [I]_{4986-his wife} had once kept a sharp look - out . It had formerly been [my]_{4986-his wife} endeavour to study all sides of [his]_2184-his character : to take the bad with the good ; and from the just weighing of both , to form an equitable judgment . Now [I]_{4986-his wife} saw no bad . The sarcasm that had repelled , the harshness that had startled [me]_{4986-his wife} once , were only like keen condiments in a choice dish : [their]_2184-his presence was pungent , but their absence would be felt as comparatively insipid . And as for the vague something - was it a sinister or a sorrowful , a designing or a desponding expression ? - that opened upon [a careful observer]_{5674-a careful observer} , now and then , in [his]_{5674-a careful observer} eye , and closed again before one could fathom the strange depth partially disclosed ; that something which used to make [me]_{4986-his wife} fear and shrink , as if [I]_{4986-his wife} had been wandering amongst [volcanic - looking hills]_{5675-volcanic - looking hills} , and had suddenly felt the ground quiver and seen it gape : that something , [I]_{4986-his wife} , at intervals , beheld still ; and with throbbing heart , but not with palsied nerves . Instead of wishing to shun , [I]_{4986-his wife} longed only to dare - to divine it ; and [I]_{4986-his wife} thought [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} happy , because one day [she]_{297-miss ingram} might look into [the abyss]_{5676-the abyss} at [her]_{297-miss ingram} leisure , explore its secrets and analyse their nature . Meantime , while [I]_{4986-his wife} thought only of [[my]_{4986-his wife} master]_{4336-my master} and [[his]_2184-his future bride]_{5678-his future bride} - saw only [them]_2184-his , heard only [their]_2184-his discourse , and considered only [their]_2184-his movements of importance - [the rest of [the party]_{1942-the party}]_{5679-the rest of the party} were occupied with [their]_{5679-the rest of the party} own separate interests and pleasures . [The Ladies Lynn]_{334-the ladies lynn} and [Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} continued to consort in solemn conferences , where [they]_{334-the ladies lynn} nodded [their]_{334-the ladies lynn} two turbans at [each other]_{724-each other} , and held up [their]_{334-the ladies lynn} four hands in confronting gestures of surprise , or mystery , or horror , according to the theme on which [their]_{334-the ladies lynn} gossip ran , like a pair of magnified puppets . [Mild Mrs. Dent]_{335-mild mrs. dent} talked with good - natured [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} ; and [the two]_{2042-the two} sometimes bestowed a courteous word or smile on [me]_{4986-his wife} . [Sir George Lynn]_{292-sir george lynn} , [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , and [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} discussed politics , or county affairs , or justice business . [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} flirted with [Amy Eshton]_302-amy ; [Louisa]_303-louisa played and sang to and with one of [the Messrs. Lynn]_{336-the messrs. lynn} ; and [Mary Ingram]_{296-mary ingram} listened languidly to the gallant speeches of [the other]_{5683-the other} . Sometimes all , as with one consent , suspended [their]_{334-the ladies lynn} by - play to observe and listen to [the principal actors]_{5684-the principal actors} : for , after all , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and - because closely connected with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} - [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} were the life and soul of [the party]_{1942-the party} . If [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was absent from [the room]_{535-the room} an hour , [a perceptible dulness]_{5687-a perceptible dulness} seemed to steal over the spirits of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} guests]_{2111-his guests} ; and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} re - entrance was sure to give a fresh impulse to the vivacity of conversation . The want of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} animating influence appeared to be peculiarly felt one day that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had been summoned to [Millcote]_44-millcote on business , and was not likely to return till late . The afternoon was wet : a walk [the party]_{1942-the party} had proposed to take to see [a gipsy camp]_{5690-a gipsy camp} , lately pitched on [a common beyond Hay]_{5691-a common beyond hay} , was consequently deferred . [Some of [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen}]_{5692-some of the gentlemen} were gone to [the stables]_{5694-the stables} : [the younger ones]_{1907-the younger ones} , together with [the younger ladies]_{5696-the younger ladies} , were playing billiards in [the billiard - room]_{5697-the billiard - room} . [The dowagers Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} and [Lynn]_{296-mary ingram} sought solace in a quiet game at cards . [Blanche Ingram]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , after having repelled , by supercilious taciturnity , some efforts of [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} to draw [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} into conversation , had first murmured over some sentimental tunes and airs on the piano , and then , having fetched a novel from [the library]_{659-the library} , had flung [herself]_{295-mrs. fairfax} in haughty listlessness on a sofa , and prepared to beguile , by the spell of fiction , the tedious hours of absence . [The room]_{535-the room} and [the house]_{4322-the house} were silent : only now and then the merriment of the billiard - players was heard from above . It was verging on dusk , and the clock had already given warning of the hour to dress for dinner , when [little Adele]_259-adele , who knelt by [me]_{4986-his wife} in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} window - seat , suddenly exclaimed - "_{[4986-his wife]} Voile , [Monsieur Rochester]_{271-fairfax rochester} , qui revient ! " [I]_{271-fairfax rochester} turned , and [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} darted forwards from [her]_{297-miss ingram} sofa : [the others]_{919-the others} , too , looked up from [their]_{919-the others} several occupations ; for at the same time a crunching of wheels and a splashing tramp of horse - hoofs became audible on the wet gravel . A post - chaise was approaching . "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} What can possess [him]_{271-fairfax rochester} to come [home]_509-home in that style ? " said [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} [He]_{271-fairfax rochester} rode [Mesrour]_2191-mesrour the black horse , did [he]_{271-fairfax rochester} not , when [he]_{271-fairfax rochester} went out ? and [Pilot]_267-pilot was with [him:-]_{271-fairfax rochester} what has [he]_{271-fairfax rochester} done with the animals ? " As [she]_{297-miss ingram} said this , [she]_{297-miss ingram} approached [[her]_{297-miss ingram} tall person]_{5703-her tall person} and ample garments so near the window , that [I]_{271-fairfax rochester} was obliged to bend back almost to the breaking of [my]_{271-fairfax rochester} spine : in [her]_{297-miss ingram} eagerness [she]_{297-miss ingram} did not observe [me]_{271-fairfax rochester} at first , but when [she]_{297-miss ingram} did , [she]_{297-miss ingram} curled [her]_{297-miss ingram} lip and moved to another casement . The post - chaise stopped ; [the driver]_{1393-the driver} rang the door - bell , and [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} alighted attired in travelling garb ; but it was not [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; it was [a tall , fashionable - looking man]_{5706-a tall , fashionable - looking man} , [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} . "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} How provoking ! " exclaimed [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} : "_[2192-you] [you]_2192-you tiresome monkey ! " apostrophising [Adele]_259-adele , "_[2192-you] who perched [you]_2192-you up in the window to give false intelligence ? " and [she]_{297-miss ingram} cast on [me]_2192-you an angry glance , as if [I]_2192-you were in fault . Some parleying was audible in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , and soon [the new - comer]_{780-the new - comer} entered . [He]_0-i bowed to [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} , as deeming [her]_{305-lady ingram} [the eldest lady present]_{5710-the eldest lady present} . "_[2192-you] It appears [I]_0-i come at an inopportune time , [madam]_4457-madam , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] when [[my]_0-i friend]_{4521-my friend} , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , is from [home]_509-home ; but [I]_0-i arrive from a very long journey , and [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i may presume so far on old and intimate acquaintance as to instal [myself]_0-i here till [he]_{251-mr. rochester} returns . " [His]_0-i manner was polite ; [his]_0-i accent , in speaking , struck [me]_{251-mr. rochester} as being somewhat unusual , - not precisely foreign , but still not altogether English : [his]_0-i age might be about [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's , - between thirty and forty ; [his]_0-i complexion was singularly sallow : otherwise [he]_0-i was [a fine - looking man]_{5711-a fine - looking man} , at first sight especially . On closer examination , [you]_5712-you detected something in [his]_0-i face that displeased , or rather that failed to please . [His]_0-i features were regular , but too relaxed : [his]_0-i eye was large and well cut , but the life looking out of it was a tame , vacant life - at least so [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought . The sound of the dressing - bell dispersed the party . It was not till after dinner that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw [him]_0-i again : [he]_0-i then seemed quite at [his]_0-i ease . But [I]_{251-mr. rochester} liked [his]_0-i physiognomy even less than before : it struck [me]_{251-mr. rochester} as being at the same time unsettled and inanimate . [His]_0-i eye wandered , and had no meaning in its wandering : this gave [him]_0-i an odd look , such as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} never remembered to have seen . For [a handsome and not an unamiable - looking man]_{5713-a handsome and not an unamiable - looking man} , [he]_0-i repelled [me]_{251-mr. rochester} exceedingly : there was no power in that smooth - skinned face of a full oval shape : no firmness in that aquiline nose and small cherry mouth ; there was no thought on the low , even forehead ; no command in that blank , brown eye . As [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sat in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} usual nook , and looked at [him]_0-i with the light of the girandoles on the mantelpiece beaming full over [him]_0-i - for [he]_0-i occupied an arm - chair drawn close to the fire , and kept shrinking still nearer , as if [he]_0-i were cold , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} compared [him]_0-i with [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} think with deference be it spoken the contrast could not be much greater between a sleek gander and a fierce falcon : between a meek sheep and the rough - coated keen - eyed dog , its guardian . [He]_0-i had spoken of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} as [an old friend]_{5714-an old friend} . A curious friendship [theirs]_5715-theirs must have been : a pointed illustration , indeed , of the old adage that "_{[251-mr. rochester]} extremes meet . " [Two or three of [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen}]_{5716-two or three of the gentlemen} sat near [him]_0-i , and [I]_{2196-a beautiful man} caught at times scraps of [their]_{5716-two or three of the gentlemen} conversation across [the room]_{535-the room} . At first [I]_{2196-a beautiful man} could not make much sense of what [I]_{2196-a beautiful man} heard ; for the discourse of [Louisa Eshton]_303-louisa and [Mary Ingram]_{296-mary ingram} , who sat nearer to [me]_{2196-a beautiful man} , confused the fragmentary sentences that reached [me]_{2196-a beautiful man} at intervals . These last were discussing [the stranger]_{5632-the stranger} ; [they]_{5716-two or three of the gentlemen} both called [him]_{2196-a beautiful man} "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} [a beautiful man]_{2196-a beautiful man} . " [Louisa]_303-louisa said [he]_{2196-a beautiful man} was "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} a love of a creature , " and [she]_303-louisa "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} adored [him]_{2196-a beautiful man} ; " and [Mary]_{296-mary ingram} instanced [his]_{2196-a beautiful man} "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} pretty little mouth , and nice nose , " as [her]_{296-mary ingram} ideal of the charming . "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} And what a sweet - tempered forehead [he]_{2196-a beautiful man} has ! " cried [Louisa]_303-louisa , - ' so smooth - none of those frowning irregularities [I]_{2196-a beautiful man} dislike so much ; and such a placid eye and smile ! "_{[2196-a beautiful man]} And then , to [my]_0-i great relief , [Mr. Henry Lynn]_163-henry summoned [them]_2197-them to the other side of [the room]_{535-the room} , to settle some point about the deferred excursion to [Hay Common]_{71-hay common} . [I]_0-i was now able to concentrate [my]_0-i attention on [the group by the fire]_{2199-the group by the fire} , and [I]_0-i presently gathered that [the new - comer]_{780-the new - comer} was called [Mr. Mason]_337-mason ; then [I]_0-i learned that [he]_337-mason was but just arrived in [England]_21-england , and that [he]_337-mason came from [some hot country]_{2201-some hot country} : which was the reason , doubtless , [his]_337-mason face was so sallow , and that [he]_337-mason sat so near the hearth , and wore a surtout in [the house]_{4322-the house} . Presently the words [Jamaica]_72-jamaica , [Kingston]_73-kingston , Spanish Town , indicated [the West Indies]_{74-the west indies} as [[his]_337-mason residence]_{2203-his residence} ; and it was with no little surprise [I]_0-i gathered , ere long , that [he]_337-mason had there first seen and become acquainted with [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [He]_337-mason spoke of [[his]_337-mason friend]_{1054-his friend} 's dislike of the burning heats , the hurricanes , and rainy seasons of [that region]_{1279-that region} . [I]_0-i knew [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had been [a traveller]_{2206-a traveller} : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} had said so ; but [I]_0-i thought [the continent of [Europe]_75-europe]_{2207-the continent of europe} had bounded [his]_{251-mr. rochester} wanderings ; till now [I]_0-i had never heard a hint given of visits to [more distant shores]_{2208-more distant shores} . [I]_0-i was pondering these things , when an incident , and a somewhat unexpected one , broke the thread of [my]_0-i musings . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , shivering as [some one]_{637-some one} chanced to open the door , asked for more coal to be put on the fire , which had burnt out its flame , though its mass of cinder still shone hot and red . [The footman who brought the coal , in going out]_{2210-the footman who brought the coal , in going out} , stopped near [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} 's chair , and said something to [him]_{290-mr. eshton} in a low voice , of which [I]_0-i heard only the words , " [old woman]_{5720-old woman} , "_[0-i] - " quite troublesome . "_[0-i] " Tell [her]_{5720-old woman} [she]_{5720-old woman} shall be put in the stocks if [she]_{5720-old woman} does not take [herself]_{5720-old woman} off , "_{[2211-the magistrate]} replied [the magistrate]_{2211-the magistrate} . " No - stop ! "_{[293-colonel dent]} interrupted [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . " Do n't send [her]_{5720-old woman} away , [Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} ; [we]_5721-we might turn the thing to account ; better consult [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} . "_{[290-mr. eshton]} And speaking aloud , [he]_{290-mr. eshton} continued - " [Ladies]_745-ladies , [you]_745-ladies talked of going to [Hay Common]_{71-hay common} to visit [the gipsy camp]_{5724-the gipsy camp} ; [Sam]_198-sam here says that one of [the old Mother Bunches]_{5725-the old mother bunches} is in [[the servants]_{546-the servants} ' hall]_{2001-the servants ' hall} at this moment , and insists upon being brought in before ' the quality , ' to tell [them]_{546-the servants} [their]_{546-the servants} fortunes . Would [you]_745-ladies like to see [her]_{5720-old woman} ? "_{[290-mr. eshton]} " Surely , [colonel]_5728-colonel , "_{[305-lady ingram]} cried [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} , " [you]_5728-colonel would not encourage [such a low impostor]_{5729-such a low impostor} ? Dismiss [her]_{5720-old woman} , by all means , at once ! "_{[305-lady ingram]} " But [I]_{2212-the footman} can not persuade [her]_{5720-old woman} to go away , [[my]_{2212-the footman} lady]_{5576-my lady} , "_{[2212-the footman]} said [the footman]_{2212-the footman} ; " nor can [any of [the servants]_{546-the servants}]_{5731-any of the servants} : [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} is with [her]_{5720-old woman} just now , entreating [her]_{5720-old woman} to be gone ; but [she]_{5720-old woman} has taken a chair in the chimney- comer , and says nothing shall stir [her]_{5720-old woman} from it till [she]_{5720-old woman} gets leave to come in [here]_4312-here . "_{[2212-the footman]} " What does [she]_{5720-old woman} want ? "_{[294-mrs. eshton]} asked [Mrs. Eshton]_{294-mrs. eshton} . " ' To tell [the gentry]_{5734-the gentry} [their]_{5734-the gentry} fortunes , ' [she]_{5720-old woman} says , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ; and [she]_{5720-old woman} swears [she]_{5720-old woman} must and will do it . "_{[294-mrs. eshton]} " What is [she]_{5720-old woman} like ? "_{[338-the misses eshton]} inquired [the Misses Eshton]_{338-the misses eshton} , in a breath . " [A shockingly ugly old creature]_{5736-a shockingly ugly old creature} , [miss]_4359-miss ; almost as black as a crock . "_{[338-the misses eshton]} " Why , [she]_{5720-old woman} 's [a real sorceress]_{5738-a real sorceress} ! "_{[308-richard]} cried [Frederick Lynn]_308-richard . " Let [us]_5739-us have [her]_{5720-old woman} in , of course . "_{[308-richard]} " To be sure , "_{[5216-his brother]} rejoined [[his]_308-richard brother]_{5216-his brother} ; " it would be a thousand pities to throw away such a chance of fun . "_{[5216-his brother]} " [[My]_{339-mrs. lynn} dear boys]_{5740-my dear boys} , what are [you]_{5740-my dear boys} thinking about ? "_{[339-mrs. lynn]} exclaimed [Mrs. Lynn]_{339-mrs. lynn} . " [I]_{305-lady ingram} can not possibly countenance any such inconsistent proceeding , "_{[305-lady ingram]} chimed in [the Dowager Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} . " Indeed , [mama]_4313-mama , but [you]_{5740-my dear boys} can - and will , "_{[305-lady ingram]} pronounced the haughty voice of [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , as [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} turned round on the piano - stool ; where till now [she]_{295-mrs. fairfax} had sat silent , apparently examining sundry sheets of music . " [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} have a curiosity to hear [my]_{295-mrs. fairfax} fortune told : therefore , [Sam]_198-sam , order [the beldame]_{5742-the beldame} forward . "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} " [My]_{305-lady ingram} darling [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ! recollect - "_{[305-lady ingram]} " [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} do - [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} recollect all [you]_{5740-my dear boys} can suggest ; and [I]_{295-mrs. fairfax} must have [my]_{295-mrs. fairfax} will - quick , [Sam]_198-sam ! "_{[295-mrs. fairfax]} " Yes - yes - yes ! "_{[2214-all the juveniles]} cried [all the juveniles]_{2214-all the juveniles} , [both ladies]_{2215-both ladies} and [gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} . " Let [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} come - it will be excellent sport ! "_{[2212-the footman]} [The footman]_{2212-the footman} still lingered . " [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} looks such [a rough one]_{5743-a rough one} , "_{[2212-the footman]} said [he]_{2212-the footman} . " Go ! "_{[2212-the footman]} ejaculated [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , and [the man]_{1375-the man} went . Excitement instantly seized [the whole party]_{2219-the whole party} : a running fire of raillery and jests was proceeding when [Sam]_198-sam returned . " [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} wo n't come now , "_{[1375-the man]} said [he]_{1375-the man} . " [She]_{295-mrs. fairfax} says it 's not [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} mission to appear before the ' vulgar herd ' [them]_5744-them 's [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} words . [I]_{1375-the man} must show [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} into [a room]_{4381-a room} by [herself]_{295-mrs. fairfax} , and then [those who wish to consult [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax}]_{5746-those who wish to consult her} must go to [her]_{295-mrs. fairfax} one by one . "_{[1375-the man]} " [You]_{305-lady ingram} see now , [[my]_{305-lady ingram} queenly [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax}]_{5747-my queenly blanche} , "_{[305-lady ingram]} began [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} , ' [she]_2220-she encroaches . Be advised , [[my]_0-i angel girl]_{2221-my angel girl} - and - " "_{[2221-my angel girl]} Show [her]_2220-she into [the library]_{659-the library} , of course , " cut in [the "_{[2221-my angel girl]} angel girl]_{5748-the " angel girl} . " "_{[2221-my angel girl]} It is not [my]_0-i mission to listen to [her]_2220-she before [the vulgar herd]_{2223-the vulgar herd} either : [I]_0-i mean to have [her]_2220-she all to [myself]_0-i . Is there a fire in [the library]_{659-the library} ? " "_[2220-she] Yes , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am - but [she]_2220-she looks such a tinkler . " "_[2220-she] Cease that chatter , [blockhead]_{2226-blockhead} ! and do [my]_0-i bidding . " Again [Sam]_198-sam vanished ; and mystery , animation , expectation rose to full flow once more . "_[2220-she] [She]_2220-she 's ready now , " said [the footman]_{2212-the footman} , as [he]_{2212-the footman} reappeared . "_[2220-she] [She]_2220-she wishes to know who will be [[her]_2220-she first visitor]_{2227-her first visitor} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i had better just look in upon [her]_2220-she before [any of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{2228-any of the ladies} go , " said [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . "_[2220-she] Tell [her]_2220-she , [Sam]_198-sam , [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} is coming . " [Sam]_198-sam went and returned . "_[2220-she] [She]_2220-she says , [sir]_4374-sir , that [she]_2220-she 'll have [no gentlemen]_{2232-no gentlemen} ; [they]_{2232-no gentlemen} need not trouble [themselves]_{2232-no gentlemen} to come near [her]_2220-she ; nor , " [he]_4374-sir added , with difficulty suppressing a titter , "_[340-jove] [any ladies]_{2233-any ladies} either , except [the young , and single]_{2234-the young , and single} . " "_{[2234-the young , and single]} By [Jove]_340-jove , [she]_2220-she has taste ! " exclaimed [Henry Lynn]_163-henry . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} rose solemnly : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i go first , " [she]_{297-miss ingram} said , in a tone which might have befitted [the leader of a forlorn hope , mounting a breach in the van of [[his]_4374-sir men]_{5751-his men}]_{5750-the leader of a forlorn hope , mounting a breach in the van of his men} . "_[0-i] Oh , [my]_0-i best ! oh , [my]_0-i dearest ! pause - reflect ! " was [[her]_{297-miss ingram} mama]_{4460-her mama} 's cry ; but [she]_{297-miss ingram} swept past [her]_{4460-her mama} in stately silence , passed through the door which [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} held open , and [we]_5753-we heard [her]_{297-miss ingram} enter [the library]_{659-the library} . A comparative silence ensued . [Lady Ingram]_{305-lady ingram} thought it "_[0-i] le cas " to wring [her]_{305-lady ingram} hands : which [she]_{305-lady ingram} did accordingly . [Miss Mary]_{341-miss mary} declared [she]_{341-miss mary} felt , for [her]_{341-miss mary} part , [she]_{341-miss mary} never dared venture . [Amy]_302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]_303-louisa tittered under [their]_5755-their breath , and looked a little frightened . The minutes passed very slowly : fifteen were counted before [the library]_{659-the library} - door again opened . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} returned to [us]_5753-we through the arch . Would [she]_{297-miss ingram} laugh ? Would [she]_{297-miss ingram} take it as a joke ? All eyes met [her]_{297-miss ingram} with a glance of eager curiosity , and [she]_{297-miss ingram} met all eyes with one of rebuff and coldness ; [she]_{297-miss ingram} looked neither flurried nor merry : [she]_{297-miss ingram} walked stiffly to [her]_{297-miss ingram} seat , and took it in silence . "_[2235-she] Well , [Blanche]_{295-mrs. fairfax} ? " said [Lord Ingram]_{291-lord ingram} . "_[2235-she] What did [she]_2235-she say , [sister]_2236-sister ? " asked [Mary]_{341-miss mary} . "_[2235-she] What did [you]_2237-you think ? How do [you]_2237-you feel ? - Is [she]_2235-she [a real fortune - teller]_{2238-a real fortune - teller} ? " demanded [the Misses Eshton]_{338-the misses eshton} . "_[2235-she] Now , now , [good people]_{2239-good people} , " returned [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , "_{[2239-good people]} do n't press upon [me]_0-i . Really [your]_{2239-good people} organs of wonder and credulity are easily excited : [you]_{2239-good people} seem , by the importance of [you]_{2239-good people} all - [[my]_0-i good mama]_{2240-my good mama} included - ascribe to this matter , absolutely to believe [we]_2241-we have [a genuine witch in [the house]_{4322-the house} , who is in close alliance with [the old gentleman]_{5219-the old gentleman}]_{2242-a genuine witch in the house , who is in close alliance with the old gentleman} . [I]_0-i have seen [a gipsy vagabond]_{2245-a gipsy vagabond} ; [she]_{2245-a gipsy vagabond} has practised in hackneyed fashion the science of palmistry and told [me]_0-i what [such people]_{2246-such people} usually tell . [My]_0-i whim is gratified ; and now [I]_0-i think [Mr. Eshton]_{290-mr. eshton} will do well to put the hag in the stocks to - morrow morning , as [he]_{290-mr. eshton} threatened . " [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} took a book , leant back in [her]_{297-miss ingram} chair , and so declined further conversation . [I]_2247-she watched [her]_{297-miss ingram} for nearly half - an - hour : during all that time [she]_{297-miss ingram} never turned a page , and [her]_{297-miss ingram} face grew momently darker , more dissatisfied , and more sourly expressive of disappointment . [She]_{297-miss ingram} had obviously not heard anything to [her]_{297-miss ingram} advantage : and it seemed to [me]_2247-she , from [her]_{297-miss ingram} prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity , that [she]_{297-miss ingram} [herself]_{297-miss ingram} , notwithstanding [her]_{297-miss ingram} professed indifference , attached undue importance to whatever revelations had been made [her]_{297-miss ingram} . [Meantime]_342-meantime , [Mary Ingram]_{296-mary ingram} , [Amy]_302-amy and [Louisa Eshton]_303-louisa , declared [they]_5757-they dared not go alone ; and yet [they]_5757-they all wished to go . A negotiation was opened through the medium of [the ambassador]_{5758-the ambassador} , [Sam]_198-sam ; and after much pacing to and fro , till , [I]_2247-she think , the said [Sam]_198-sam 's calves must have ached with the exercise , permission was at last , with great difficulty , extorted from [the rigorous Sibyl]_{5759-the rigorous sibyl} , for the three to wait upon [her]_2247-she in a body . [Their]_5757-they visit was not so still as [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's had been : [we]_0-i heard hysterical giggling and little shrieks proceeding from [the library]_{659-the library} ; and at the end of about twenty minutes [they]_5757-they burst the door open , and came running across [the hall]_{608-the hall} , as if [they]_5757-they were half - scared out of [their]_5757-they wits . "_[2247-she] [I]_0-i am sure [she]_2247-she is something not right ! " [they]_5757-they cried , one and all . "_[2247-she] [She]_2247-she told [us]_0-i such things ! [She]_2247-she knows all about [us]_0-i ! " and [they]_5757-they sank breathless into the various seats [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} hastened to bring [them]_5757-they . Pressed for further explanation , [they]_5757-they declared [she]_2247-she had told [them]_5757-they of things [they]_5757-they had said and done when [they]_5757-they were [mere children]_{5763-mere children} ; described books and ornaments [they]_5757-they had in [their]_5757-they boudoirs at [home]_509-home : keepsakes that different relations had presented to [them]_5757-they . [They]_5757-they affirmed that [she]_2247-she had even divined [their]_5757-they thoughts , and had whispered in the ear of each the name of [the person [she]_2247-she liked best in [the world]_{484-the world}]_{5765-the person she liked best in the world} , and informed [them]_5757-they of what [they]_5757-they most wished for . Here [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} interposed with earnest petitions to be further enlightened on these two last - named points ; but [they]_5757-they got only blushes , ejaculations , tremors , and titters , in return for [their]_5757-they importunity . [The matrons]_{5768-the matrons} , meantime , offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans ; and again and again reiterated the expression of [their]_{5768-the matrons} concern that [their]_{5768-the matrons} warning had not been taken in time ; and [the elder gentlemen]_{5769-the elder gentlemen} laughed , and [the younger]_{5770-the younger} urged [their]_{5770-the younger} services on [the agitated fair ones]_{5771-the agitated fair ones} . In the midst of the tumult , and while [my]_2247-she eyes and ears were fully engaged in the scene before [me]_2247-she , [I]_2247-she heard a hem close at [my]_2247-she elbow : [I]_2247-she turned , and saw [Sam]_198-sam . "_[2247-she] If [you]_2248-you please , [miss]_4359-miss , [the gipsy]_{2250-the gipsy} declares that there is [another young single lady in [the room]_{535-the room} who has not been to [her]_{2250-the gipsy} yet , and [she]_{2250-the gipsy} swears [she]_{2250-the gipsy} will not go till [she]_{2250-the gipsy} has seen all]_{2251-another young single lady in the room who has not been to her yet , and she swears she will not go till she has seen all} . [I]_0-i thought it must be [you]_2248-you : there is [no one else for it]_{2253-no one else for it} . What shall [I]_0-i tell [her]_{2250-the gipsy} ? " "_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i will go by all means , " [I]_0-i answered : and [I]_0-i was glad of the unexpected opportunity to gratify [my]_0-i much - excited curiosity . [I]_0-i slipped out of [the room]_{535-the room} , unobserved by any eye - for [the company]_{755-the company} were gathered in one mass about [the trembling trio just returned]_{5774-the trembling trio just returned} - and [I]_0-i closed the door quietly behind [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] If [you]_2248-you like , [miss]_4359-miss , " said [Sam]_198-sam , "_[4359-miss] [I]_0-i 'll wait in [the hall]_{608-the hall} for [you]_2248-you ; and if [she]_{2250-the gipsy} frightens [you]_2248-you , just call and [I]_0-i 'll come in . " "_[0-i] No , [Sam]_198-sam , return to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} : [I]_0-i am not in the least afraid . " Nor was [I]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i was a good deal interested and excited . CHAPTER XIX [The library]_{659-the library} looked tranquil enough as [I]_0-i entered [it]_{659-the library} , and [the Sibyl]_{343-the sibyl} - if [Sibyl]_{343-the sibyl} [she]_{343-the sibyl} were - was seated snugly enough in an easy - chair at the chimney - corner . [She]_{343-the sibyl} had on a red cloak and a black bonnet : or rather , a broad - brimmed gipsy hat , tied down with a striped handkerchief under [her]_{343-the sibyl} chin . An extinguished candle stood on the table ; [she]_{343-the sibyl} was bending over the fire , and seemed reading in a little black book , like a prayer - book , by the light of the blaze : [she]_{343-the sibyl} muttered the words to [herself]_{343-the sibyl} , as [most old women]_{5776-most old women} do , while [she]_{343-the sibyl} read ; [she]_{343-the sibyl} did not desist immediately on [my]_0-i entrance : it appeared [she]_{343-the sibyl} wished to finish a paragraph . [I]_0-i stood on the rug and warmed [my]_0-i hands , which were rather cold with sitting at a distance from the drawing - room fire . [I]_0-i felt now as composed as ever [I]_0-i did in [my]_0-i life : there was nothing indeed in [the gipsy]_{2250-the gipsy} 's appearance to trouble [one]_4415-one 's calm . [She]_{343-the sibyl} shut [her]_{343-the sibyl} book and slowly looked up ; [her]_{343-the sibyl} hat - brim partially shaded [her]_{343-the sibyl} face , yet [I]_0-i could see , as [she]_{343-the sibyl} raised it , that it was a strange one . It looked all brown and black : elf - locks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under [her]_{343-the sibyl} chin , and came half over [her]_{343-the sibyl} cheeks , or rather jaws : [her]_{343-the sibyl} eye confronted [me]_0-i at once , with a bold and direct gaze . "_[0-i] Well , and [you]_2257-you want [your]_2257-you fortune told ? " [she]_{343-the sibyl} said , in a voice as decided as [her]_{343-the sibyl} glance , as harsh as [her]_{343-the sibyl} features . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n't care about it , [mother]_4387-mother ; [you]_2257-you may please [yourself]_2257-you : but [I]_0-i ought to warn [you]_2257-you , [I]_0-i have no faith . " "_[2257-you] It 's like [your]_2257-you impudence to say so : [I]_0-i expected it of [you]_2257-you ; [I]_0-i heard it in [your]_2257-you step as [you]_2257-you crossed the threshold . " "_[2257-you] Did [you]_2257-you ? [You]_2257-you 've a quick ear . " "_[2257-you] [I]_0-i have ; and a quick eye and a quick brain . " "_[2257-you] [You]_2257-you need them all in [your]_2257-you trade . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do ; especially when [I]_0-i 've customers like [you]_2257-you to deal with . Why do n't [you]_2257-you tremble ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'm not cold . " "_[0-i] Why do n't [you]_2257-you turn pale ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not sick . " "_[0-i] Why do n't [you]_2257-you consult [my]_0-i art ? " "_[2257-you] [I]_0-i 'm not silly . " [The old crone]_{5779-the old crone} "_[2257-you] nichered " a laugh under [her]_{5779-the old crone} bonnet and bandage ; [she]_{5779-the old crone} then drew out a short black pipe , and lighting it began to smoke . Having indulged a while in this sedative , [she]_{5779-the old crone} raised [her]_{5779-the old crone} bent body , took the pipe from [her]_{5779-the old crone} lips , and while gazing steadily at the fire , said very deliberately - "_[2257-you] [You]_2257-you are cold ; [you]_2257-you are sick ; and [you]_2257-you are silly . " "_[2257-you] Prove it , " [I]_0-i rejoined . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will , in few words . [You]_2257-you are cold , because [you]_2257-you are alone : no contact strikes the fire from [you]_2257-you that is in [you]_2257-you . [You]_2257-you are sick ; because the best of feelings , the highest and the sweetest given to [man]_4667-man , keeps far away from [you]_2257-you . [You]_2257-you are silly , because , suffer as [you]_2257-you may , [you]_2257-you will not beckon it to approach , nor will [you]_2257-you stir one step to meet it where it waits [you]_2257-you . " [She]_5780-her again put [her]_5780-her short black pipe to [her]_5780-her lips , and renewed [her]_5780-her smoking with vigour . "_[2257-you] [You]_2257-you might say all that to almost [any one who [you]_2257-you knew]_{2260-any one who you knew} lived as [a solitary dependent in [a great house]_{2262-a great house}]_{2261-a solitary dependent in a great house} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i might say it to almost [any one]_{591-any one} : but would it be true of [almost any one]_{2264-almost any one} ? " "_{[2264-almost any one]} In [my]_0-i circumstances . " "_{[2264-almost any one]} Yes ; just so , in [YOUR]_2257-you circumstances : but find [me]_0-i another precisely placed as [you]_2257-you are . " "_[2257-you] It would be easy to find [you]_2257-you thousands . " "_[2257-you] [You]_2257-you could scarcely find [me]_0-i one . If [you]_2257-you knew it , [you]_2257-you are peculiarly situated : very near happiness ; yes , within reach of it . The materials are all prepared ; there only wants a movement to combine them . [Chance]_344-chance laid them somewhat apart ; let them be once approached and bliss results . " "_[344-chance] [I]_0-i do n't understand enigmas . [I]_0-i never could guess a riddle in [my]_0-i life . " "_[0-i] If [you]_2257-you wish [me]_0-i to speak more plainly , show [me]_0-i [your]_2257-you palm . " "_[2257-you] And [I]_0-i must cross it with silver , [I]_0-i suppose ? " "_[0-i] To be sure . " [I]_0-i gave [her]_2257-you a shilling : [she]_2257-you put it into an old stocking - foot which [she]_2257-you took out of [her]_2257-you pocket , and having tied it round and returned it , [she]_2257-you told [me]_0-i to hold out [my]_0-i hand . [I]_0-i did . [She]_2257-you arched [her]_2257-you face to the palm , and pored over it without touching it . "_[0-i] It is too fine , " said [she]_2257-you . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can make nothing of such a hand as that ; almost without lines : besides , what is in a palm ? Destiny is not written there . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_0-i , " said [I.]_0-i "_[0-i] No , " [she]_2257-you continued , "_[0-i] it is in the face : on the forehead , about the eyes , in the lines of the mouth . Kneel , and lift up [your]_2257-you head . " "_[0-i] Ah ! now [you]_0-i are coming to reality , " [I]_0-i said , as [I]_0-i obeyed [her]_2257-you . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall begin to put some faith in [you]_2257-you presently . " [I]_0-i knelt within half a yard of [her]_2257-you . [She]_2257-you stirred the fire , so that a ripple of light broke from the disturbed coal : the glare , however , as [she]_2257-you sat , only threw [her]_2257-you face into deeper shadow : [mine]_0-i , it illumined . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder with what feelings [you]_2257-you came to [me]_0-i to - night , " [she]_2257-you said , when [she]_2257-you had examined [me]_2257-you a while . "_[2257-you] [I]_0-i wonder what thoughts are busy in [your]_2257-you heart during all the hours [you]_2257-you sit in [yonder room]_{2265-yonder room} with [the fine people]_{2266-the fine people} flitting before [you]_2257-you like [shapes in a magic - lantern]_{2267-shapes in a magic - lantern} : just as little sympathetic communion passing between [you]_2257-you and [them]_{2266-the fine people} as if they were really mere shadows of human forms , and not the actual substance . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel tired often , sleepy sometimes , but seldom sad . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_2257-you have some secret hope to buoy [you]_2257-you up and please [you]_2257-you with whispers of the future ? " "_[2257-you] Not [I.]_2268-i. The utmost [I]_0-i hope is , to save money enough out of [my]_0-i earnings to set up a school some day in [a little house rented by [myself]_0-i]_{2269-a little house rented by myself} . " "_[2268-i.] A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on : and sitting in that window - seat [you]_2257-you see [I]_0-i know [your]_2257-you habits - " "_[0-i] [You]_2257-you have learned them from [the servants]_{546-the servants} . " "_[2257-you] Ah ! [you]_2257-you think [yourself]_2257-you sharp . Well , perhaps [I]_0-i have : to speak truth , [I]_0-i have an acquaintance with [one of [them]_{546-the servants}]_{2271-one of them} , [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} - " [I]_2257-you started to [my]_2257-you feet when [I]_2257-you heard the name . "_[2257-you] [You]_2257-you have - have [you]_2257-you ? " thought [I]_2257-you ; "_[2257-you] there is [diablerie]_{2272-diablerie} in the business after all , then ! " "_{[2272-diablerie]} Do n't be alarmed , " continued [the strange being]_{5781-the strange being} ; ' [she]_{287-mrs. poole} 's a safe hand is [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} : close and quiet ; [any one]_{591-any one} may repose confidence in [her]_{287-mrs. poole} . But , as [I]_{2272-diablerie} was saying : sitting in that window - seat , do [you]_2257-you think of nothing but [[your]_2257-you future school]_{5783-your future school} ? Have [you]_2257-you no present interest in any of [the company who occupy the sofas and chairs before [you]_2257-you]_{5784-the company who occupy the sofas and chairs before you} ? Is there not one face [you]_2257-you study ? one figure whose movements [you]_2257-you follow with at least curiosity ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [I]_{2272-diablerie} like to observe all the faces and [all the figures]_{5785-all the figures} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " But do [you]_2257-you never single one from the rest - or it may be , two ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [I]_{2272-diablerie} do frequently ; when the gestures or looks of [a pair]_{5786-a pair} seem telling a tale : it amuses [me]_{2272-diablerie} to watch [them]_{5786-a pair} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " What tale do [you]_2257-you like best to hear ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " Oh , [I]_{2272-diablerie} have not much choice ! [They]_{5786-a pair} generally run on the same theme - courtship ; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " And do [you]_2257-you like that monotonous theme ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " Positively , [I]_{2272-diablerie} do n't care about it : it is nothing to [me]_{2272-diablerie} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " Nothing to [you]_2257-you ? When [a lady , young and full of life and health , charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune]_{5787-a lady , young and full of life and health , charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune} , sits and smiles in the eyes of a gentleman [you]_2257-you - "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [I]_{2272-diablerie} what ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [You]_2257-you know - and perhaps think well of . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [I]_{2272-diablerie} do n't know [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} [here]_4312-here . [I]_{2272-diablerie} have scarcely interchanged a syllable with one of [them]_{1742-the gentlemen} ; and as to thinking well of [them]_{1742-the gentlemen} , [I]_{2272-diablerie} consider [some respectable , and stately , and middle - aged]_{5790-some respectable , and stately , and middle - aged} , and [others young , dashing , handsome , and lively]_{5791-others young , dashing , handsome , and lively} : but certainly [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} are all at liberty to be the recipients of whose smiles [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} please , without [my]_{2272-diablerie} feeling disposed to consider the transaction of any moment to [me]_{2272-diablerie} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [You]_2257-you do n't know [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} [here]_4312-here ? [You]_2257-you have not exchanged a syllable with [one of [them]_{1742-the gentlemen}]_{2271-one of them} ? Will [you]_2257-you say that of [the master of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{5795-the master of the house} ! "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [He]_{5795-the master of the house} is not at [home]_509-home . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " A profound remark ! A most ingenious quibble ! [He]_{5795-the master of the house} went to [Millcote]_44-millcote this morning , and will be back [here]_4312-here to - night or to - morrow : does that circumstance exclude [him]_{5795-the master of the house} from the list of [your]_2257-you acquaintance - blot [him]_{5795-the master of the house} , as it were , out of existence ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " No ; but [I]_{2272-diablerie} can scarcely see what [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has to do with the theme [you]_2257-you had introduced . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [I]_{2272-diablerie} was talking of [ladies smiling in the eyes of]_{5799-ladies smiling in the eyes of} [gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} ; and of late so many smiles have been shed into [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's eyes that they overflow like two cups filled above the brim : have [you]_2257-you never remarked that ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has a right to enjoy the society of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} guests]_{2111-his guests} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} " No question about [his]_{251-mr. rochester} right : but have [you]_2257-you never observed that , of all the tales told here about matrimony , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has been favoured with the most lively and the most continuous ? "_{[2272-diablerie]} " The eagerness of [a listener]_{5370-a listener} quickens the tongue of [a narrator]_{5803-a narrator} . "_{[2272-diablerie]} [I]_0-i said this rather to [myself]_0-i than to the gipsy , whose strange talk , voice , manner , had by this time wrapped [me]_0-i in a kind of dream . One unexpected sentence came from [her]_2273-i lips after another , till [I]_0-i got involved in a web of mystification ; and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting for weeks by [my]_0-i heart watching its workings and taking record of every pulse . " Eagerness of [a listener]_{5370-a listener} ! "_[2273-i] repeated [she]_2273-i : " yes ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has sat by the hour , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} ear inclined to the fascinating lips that took such delight in [their]_5805-their task of communicating ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was so willing to receive and looked so grateful for the pastime given [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [you]_0-i have noticed this ? "_[2273-i] " Grateful ! [I]_2273-i can not remember detecting gratitude in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face . "_[2273-i] " Detecting ! [You]_0-i have analysed , then . And what did [you]_0-i detect , if not gratitude ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said nothing . " [You]_0-i have seen love : have [you]_0-i not ? - and , looking forward , [you]_0-i have seen [him]_{251-mr. rochester} married , and beheld [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} bride]_{5806-his bride} happy ? "_[0-i] " Humph ! Not exactly . [[Your]_0-i witch]_{5807-your witch} 's skill is rather at fault sometimes . "_[2273-i] " What the devil have [you]_0-i seen , then ? "_[2273-i] " Never mind : [I]_2273-i came here to inquire , not to confess . Is it known that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is to be married ? "_[2273-i] " Yes ; and to [the beautiful Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . "_[2273-i] " Shortly ? "_[2273-i] " Appearances would warrant that conclusion : and , no doubt though , with an audacity that wants chastising out of [you]_0-i , [you]_0-i seem to question it , [they]_5808-they will be [a superlatively happy pair]_{5809-a superlatively happy pair} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} must love such [a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} ; and probably [she]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} loves [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , or , if not [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} person]_{5811-his person} , at least [his]_{251-mr. rochester} purse . [I]_2273-i know [she]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} considers [the Rochester estate]_{5812-the rochester estate} eligible to the last degree ; though God pardon [me]_2273-i ! [I]_2273-i told [her]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} something on that point about an hour ago which made [her]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} look wondrous grave : the corners of [her]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} mouth fell half an inch . [I]_2273-i would advise [[her]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} blackaviced suitor]_{5813-her blackaviced suitor} to look out : if another comes , with a longer or clearer rent - roll , - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} 's dished - "_[2273-i] " But , [mother]_4387-mother , [I]_2273-i did not come to hear [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's fortune : [I]_2273-i came to hear [my]_2273-i own ; and [you]_4387-mother have told [me]_2273-i nothing of it . "_[2273-i] " [Your]_4387-mother fortune is yet doubtful : when [I]_2273-i examined [your]_4387-mother face , one trait contradicted another . [Chance]_344-chance has meted [you]_4387-mother a measure of happiness : that [I]_2273-i know . [I]_2273-i knew it before [I]_2273-i came [here]_4312-here this evening . [She]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} has laid it carefully on one side for [you]_4387-mother . [I]_2273-i saw [her]_{5810-a handsome , noble , witty , accomplished lady} do it . It depends on [yourself]_4387-mother to stretch out [your]_4387-mother hand , and take it up : but whether [you]_4387-mother will do so , is the problem [I]_2273-i study . Kneel again on the rug . "_[2273-i] " Do n't keep [me]_0-i long ; the fire scorches [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i knelt . [She]_2274-she did not stoop towards [me]_0-i , but only gazed , leaning back in [her]_2274-she chair . [She]_2274-she began muttering , - " The flame flickers in the eye ; the eye shines like dew ; it looks soft and full of feeling ; it smiles at [my]_2274-she jargon : it is susceptible ; impression follows impression through its clear sphere ; where it ceases to smile , it is sad ; an unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid : that signifies melancholy resulting from loneliness . [It]_5816-it turns from [me]_2274-she ; it will not suffer further scrutiny ; it seems to deny , by a mocking glance , the truth of the discoveries [I]_2274-she have already made , - to disown the charge both of sensibility and chagrin : its pride and reserve only confirm [me]_2274-she in [my]_2274-she opinion . The eye is favourable . "_[2274-she] As to the mouth , it delights at times in laughter ; it is disposed to impart all that the brain conceives ; though [I]_0-i daresay it would be silent on much the heart experiences . Mobile and flexible , it was never intended to be compressed in the eternal silence of solitude : it is a mouth which should speak much and smile often , and have human affection for [its]_2275-its interlocutor . That feature too is propitious . " [I]_2276-i see [no enemy]_{5817-no enemy} to a fortunate issue but in the brow ; and [that brow]_{5818-that brow} professes to say , - ' [I]_2276-i can live alone , if self - respect , and circumstances require [me]_2276-i so to do . [I]_2276-i need not sell [my]_2276-i soul to buy bliss . [I]_2276-i have an inward treasure born with [me]_2276-i , which can keep [me]_2276-i alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld , or offered only at a price [I]_2276-i can not afford to give . ' [The forehead]_{345-the forehead} declares , ' [Reason]_299-reason sits firm and holds the reins , and [she]_299-reason will not let the feelings burst away and hurry [her]_299-reason to wild chasms . The passions may rage furiously , like [true heathens]_{5819-true heathens} , as they are ; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things : but judgment shall still have the last word in every argument , and the casting vote in every decision . Strong wind , earthquake - shock , and fire may pass by : but [I]_2276-i shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the dictates of conscience . ' "_[2276-i] Well said , forehead ; [your]_2276-i declaration shall be respected . [I]_0-i have formed [my]_0-i plans - right plans [I]_0-i deem them - and in them [I]_0-i have attended to the claims of conscience , the counsels of reason . [I]_0-i know how soon youth would fade and bloom perish , if , in the cup of bliss offered , but one dreg of shame , or one flavour of remorse were detected ; and [I]_0-i do not want sacrifice , sorrow , dissolution - such is not [my]_0-i taste . [I]_0-i wish to foster , not to blight - to earn gratitude , not to wring tears of blood - no , nor of brine : [my]_0-i harvest must be in smiles , in endearments , in sweet - That will do . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i rave in a kind of exquisite delirium . [I]_0-i should wish now to protract this moment ad infinitum ; but [I]_0-i dare not . So far [I]_0-i have governed [myself]_0-i thoroughly . [I]_0-i have acted as [I]_0-i inwardly swore [I]_0-i would act ; but further might try [me]_0-i beyond [my]_0-i strength . Rise , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane : leave [me]_0-i ; the play is played out ' . " Where was [I]_146-jane ? Did [I]_146-jane wake or sleep ? Had [I]_146-jane been dreaming ? Did [I]_146-jane dream still ? [The old woman]_{5820-the old woman} 's voice had changed : [her]_{5820-the old woman} accent , [her]_{5820-the old woman} gesture , and all were familiar to [me]_146-jane as [my]_146-jane own face in a glass - as the speech of [my]_146-jane own tongue . [I]_146-jane got up , but did not go . [I]_146-jane looked ; [I]_146-jane stirred the fire , and [I]_146-jane looked again : but [she]_{5820-the old woman} drew [her]_{5820-the old woman} bonnet and [her]_{5820-the old woman} bandage closer about [her]_{5820-the old woman} face , and again beckoned [me]_146-jane to depart . The flame illuminated [her]_{5820-the old woman} hand stretched out : roused now , and on the alert for discoveries , [I]_146-jane at once noticed that hand . It was no more the withered limb of eld than [my]_146-jane own ; it was a rounded supple member , with smooth fingers , symmetrically turned ; a broad ring flashed on the little finger , and stooping forward , [I]_146-jane looked at it , and saw a gem [I]_146-jane had seen a hundred times before . Again [I]_146-jane looked at the face ; which was no longer turned from [me]_146-jane - on the contrary , the bonnet was doffed , the bandage displaced , the head advanced . "_[146-jane] Well , [Jane]_146-jane , do [you]_146-jane know [me]_0-i ? " asked [the familiar voice]_{5821-the familiar voice} . "_[146-jane] Only take off the red cloak , [sir]_4374-sir , and then - " "_[146-jane] But the string is in a knot - help [me]_0-i . " "_[146-jane] Break it , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] There , then - ' Off , [ye]_146-jane lendings ! ' " And [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} stepped out of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} disguise . "_[4374-sir] Now , [sir]_4374-sir , what a strange idea ! " "_[4374-sir] But well carried out , eh ? Do n't [you]_4374-sir think so ? " "_[4374-sir] With [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} [you]_4374-sir must have managed well . " "_{[1885-the ladies]} But not with [you]_4374-sir ? " "_[4374-sir] [You]_4374-sir did not act the character of [a gipsy]_{2281-a gipsy} with [me]_0-i . " "_[4374-sir] What character did [I]_0-i act ? [My]_0-i own ? " "_{[2282-some unaccountable one]} No ; [some unaccountable one]_{2282-some unaccountable one} . In short , [I]_0-i believe [you]_4374-sir have been trying to draw [me]_0-i out - or in ; [you]_4374-sir have been talking nonsense to make [me]_0-i talk nonsense . It is scarcely fair , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] Do [you]_4374-sir forgive [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i can not tell till [I]_0-i have thought it all over . If , on reflection , [I]_0-i find [I]_0-i have fallen into no great absurdity , [I]_0-i shall try to forgive [you]_4374-sir ; but it was not right . " "_[4374-sir] Oh , [you]_4374-sir have been very correct - very careful , very sensible . " [I]_4374-sir reflected , and thought , on the whole , [I]_4374-sir had . It was a comfort ; but , indeed , [I]_4374-sir had been on [my]_4374-sir guard almost from the beginning of the interview . Something of masquerade [I]_4374-sir suspected . [I]_4374-sir knew [gipsies]_5822-gipsies and [fortune - tellers]_{5823-fortune - tellers} did not express [themselves]_5822-gipsies as [this seeming old woman]_{5824-this seeming old woman} had expressed [herself]_{5824-this seeming old woman} ; besides [I]_4374-sir had noted [her]_{5824-this seeming old woman} feigned voice , [her]_{5824-this seeming old woman} anxiety to conceal [her]_{5824-this seeming old woman} features . But [my]_4374-sir mind had been running on [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} - that living enigma , that mystery of mysteries , as [I]_4374-sir considered [her]_{263-grace poole} . [I]_4374-sir had never thought of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[4374-sir] Well , " said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , "_[4374-sir] what are [you]_2284-you musing about ? What does that grave smile signify ? " "_[2284-you] Wonder and self - congratulation , [sir]_4374-sir . [I]_0-i have [your]_4374-sir permission to retire now , [I]_0-i suppose ? " "_[0-i] No ; stay a moment ; and tell [me]_0-i what [the people in [the drawing - room yonder]_{5081-the drawing - room yonder}]_{2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder} are doing . " "_{[2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder]} Discussing [the gipsy]_{2250-the gipsy} , [I]_0-i daresay . " "_[0-i] Sit down ! - Let [me]_0-i hear what [they]_{2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder} said about [me]_0-i . " "_{[2286-the people in the drawing - room yonder]} [I]_0-i had better not stay long , [sir]_4374-sir ; it must be near eleven o'clock . Oh , are [you]_4374-sir aware , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , that [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} has arrived here since [you]_4374-sir left this morning ? " "_{[799-a stranger]} [A stranger]_{799-a stranger} ! - no ; who can it be ? [I]_0-i expected [no one]_{593-no one} ; is [he]_{799-a stranger} gone ? " "_{[799-a stranger]} No ; [he]_{799-a stranger} said [he]_{799-a stranger} had known [you]_4374-sir long , and that [he]_{799-a stranger} could take the liberty of installing [himself]_{799-a stranger} here till [you]_4374-sir returned . " "_{[799-a stranger]} [The devil]_{2293-the devil} [he]_{799-a stranger} did ! Did [he]_{799-a stranger} give [his]_{799-a stranger} name ? " "_{[799-a stranger]} [His]_{799-a stranger} name is [Mason]_337-mason , [sir]_4374-sir ; and [he]_{799-a stranger} comes from the [West Indies]_{74-the west indies} ; from [Spanish Town]_{2295-spanish town} , in [Jamaica]_72-jamaica , [I]_0-i think . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was standing near [me]_{799-a stranger} ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had taken [my]_{799-a stranger} hand , as if to lead [me]_{799-a stranger} to a chair . As [I]_{799-a stranger} spoke [he]_{251-mr. rochester} gave [my]_{799-a stranger} wrist a convulsive grip ; the smile on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} lips froze : apparently a spasm caught [his]_{251-mr. rochester} breath . "_{[799-a stranger]} [Mason]_337-mason ! - [the West Indies]_{74-the west indies} ! " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , in the tone one might fancy [a speaking automaton]_{5825-a speaking automaton} to enounce its single words ; "_[337-mason] [Mason]_337-mason ! - the West Indies ! " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} reiterated ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} went over the syllables three times , growing , in the intervals of speaking , whiter than ashes : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} hardly seemed to know what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was doing . "_{[799-a stranger]} Do [you]_0-i feel ill , [sir]_4374-sir ? " [I]_146-jane inquired . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i 've got a blow ; [I]_0-i 've got a blow , [Jane]_146-jane ! " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} staggered . "_[0-i] Oh , lean on [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_0-i offered [me]_0-i [your]_146-jane shoulder once before ; let [me]_0-i have it now . " "_[0-i] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , yes ; and [my]_0-i arm . " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} sat down , and made [me]_0-i sit beside [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Holding [my]_0-i hand in both [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} chafed it ; gazing on [me]_0-i , at the same time , with the most troubled and dreary look . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i little friend]_{2299-my little friend} ! " said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i were in [a quiet island]_{2300-a quiet island} with only [you]_{2299-my little friend} ; and trouble , and danger , and hideous recollections removed from [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Can [I]_0-i help [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir ? - [I]_0-i 'd give [my]_0-i life to serve [you]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , if aid is wanted , [I]_0-i 'll seek it at [your]_146-jane hands ; [I]_0-i promise [you]_146-jane that . " "_[0-i] Thank [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir . Tell [me]_0-i what to do , - [I]_0-i 'll try , at least , to do it . " "_[0-i] Fetch [me]_0-i now , [Jane]_146-jane , a glass of wine from [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} : [they]_2304-they will be at supper [there]_4426-there ; and tell [me]_0-i if [Mason]_337-mason is with [them]_2304-they , and what [he]_337-mason is doing . " [I]_337-mason went . [I]_337-mason found [all the party]_{5826-all the party} in [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} at supper , as [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had said ; [they]_2304-they were not seated at table , - the supper was arranged on the sideboard ; [each]_898-each had taken what [he]_898-each chose , and [they]_2304-they stood about here and there in groups , [their]_2304-they plates and glasses in [their]_2304-they hands . [Every one]_{5511-every one} seemed in high glee ; laughter and conversation were general and animated . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason stood near the fire , talking to [Colonel]_{293-colonel dent} and [Mrs. Dent]_{293-colonel dent} , and appeared as merry as [any of [them]_2304-they]_{5830-any of them} . [I]_337-mason filled a wine - glass [I]_337-mason saw [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} watch [me]_337-mason frowningly as [I]_337-mason did so : [she]_{297-miss ingram} thought [I]_337-mason was taking a liberty , [I]_337-mason daresay , and [I]_337-mason returned to [the library]_{659-the library} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's extreme pallor had disappeared , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked once more firm and stern . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} took the glass from [my]_337-mason hand . "_[337-mason] Here is to [your]_2306-your health , ministrant spirit ! " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} swallowed the contents and returned it to [me]_2307-they . "_[2307-they] What are [they]_2307-they doing , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[2307-they] Laughing and talking , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[2307-they] [They]_2307-they do n't look grave and mysterious , as if [they]_2307-they had heard something strange ? " "_[2307-they] Not at all : [they]_2307-they are full of jests and gaiety . " "_[337-mason] And [Mason]_337-mason ? " "_[337-mason] [He]_337-mason was laughing too . " "_[337-mason] If all [these people]_{5533-these people} came in a body and spat at [me]_0-i , what would [you]_4374-sir do , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[4374-sir] Turn [them]_2307-they out of [the room]_{535-the room} , [sir]_4374-sir , if [I]_0-i could . " [He]_4374-sir half smiled . "_[4374-sir] But if [I]_0-i were to go to [them]_2307-they , and [they]_2307-they only looked at [me]_0-i coldly , and whispered sneeringly amongst [each other]_{724-each other} , and then dropped off and left [me]_0-i one by one , what then ? Would [you]_4374-sir go with [them]_2307-they ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rather think not , [sir]_4374-sir : [I]_0-i should have more pleasure in staying with [you]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] To comfort [me]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , to comfort [you]_4374-sir , as well as [I]_0-i could . " "_[0-i] And if [they]_2307-they laid [you]_0-i under a ban for adhering to [me]_0-i ? " "_[2307-they] [I]_0-i , probably , should know nothing about [their]_2307-they ban ; and if [I]_0-i did , [I]_0-i should care nothing about it . " "_[0-i] Then , [you]_0-i could dare censure for [my]_0-i sake ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could dare it for the sake of [any friend who deserved [my]_0-i adherence]_{2315-any friend who deserved my adherence} ; as [you]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i am sure , do . " "_[4374-sir] Go back now into [the room]_{535-the room} ; step quietly up to [Mason]_337-mason , and whisper in [his]_337-mason ear that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is come and wishes to see [him]_337-mason : show [him]_337-mason in [here]_4312-here and then leave [me]_0-i . " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " [I]_4374-sir did [his]_4374-sir behest . [The company]_{755-the company} all stared at [me]_4374-sir as [I]_4374-sir passed straight among [them]_{755-the company} . [I]_4374-sir sought [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , delivered the message , and preceded [him]_337-mason from [the room]_{535-the room} : [I]_4374-sir ushered [him]_337-mason into [the library]_{659-the library} , and then [I]_4374-sir went [upstairs]_552-upstairs . At a late hour , after [I]_4374-sir had been in bed some time , [I]_4374-sir heard [the visitors]_{5836-the visitors} repair to [[their]_{5836-the visitors} chambers]_{2011-their chambers} : [I]_4374-sir distinguished [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's voice , and heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} say , "_[4374-sir] This way , [Mason]_337-mason ; this is [[your]_337-mason room]_{4973-your room} . " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} spoke cheerfully : the gay tones set [my]_4374-sir heart at ease . [I]_4374-sir was soon asleep . CHAPTER XX [I]_4374-sir had forgotten to draw [my]_4374-sir curtain , which [I]_4374-sir usually did , and also to let down [my]_4374-sir window - blind . The consequence was , that when the moon , which was full and bright for the night was fine , came in [her]_5838-her course to that space in the sky opposite [[my]_4374-sir casement]_{5839-my casement} , and looked in at [me]_4374-sir through the unveiled panes , [her]_5838-her glorious gaze roused [me]_4374-sir . Awaking in the dead of night , [I]_4374-sir opened [my]_4374-sir eyes on [her]_5838-her disk - silver - white and crystal clear . It was beautiful , but too solemn ; [I]_4374-sir half rose , and stretched [my]_4374-sir arm to draw the curtain . Good God ! What a cry ! The night - its silence - its rest , was rent in twain by a savage , a sharp , a shrilly sound that ran from end to end of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} . [My]_4374-sir pulse stopped : [my]_4374-sir heart stood still ; [my]_4374-sir stretched arm was paralysed . The cry died , and was not renewed . Indeed , whatever being uttered that fearful shriek could not soon repeat it : [not the widest - winged condor on the Andes]_{5840-not the widest - winged condor on the andes} could , twice in succession , send out such a yell from the cloud shrouding [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eyrie . The thing delivering such utterance must rest ere it could repeat the effort . [It]_5841-it came out of [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey} ; for it passed overhead . And overhead - yes , in [the room just above [[my]_4374-sir chamber]_{1419-my chamber} - ceiling]_{5843-the room just above my chamber - ceiling} - [I]_4374-sir now heard a struggle : a deadly one it seemed from the noise ; and a half - smothered voice shouted - "_[4374-sir] Help ! help ! help ! " three times rapidly . "_[4374-sir] Will [no one]_{593-no one} come ? " it cried ; and then , while the staggering and stamping went on wildly , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} distinguished through plank and plaster:- "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ! [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ! for God 's sake , come ! " [A chamber]_{5845-a chamber} - door opened : [some one]_{637-some one} ran , or rushed , along [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . Another step stamped on the flooring above and something fell ; and there was silence . [I]_4374-sir had put on some clothes , though horror shook all [my]_4374-sir limbs ; [I]_4374-sir issued from [[my]_4374-sir apartment]_{5848-my apartment} . [The sleepers]_{5849-the sleepers} were all aroused : ejaculations , terrified murmurs sounded in [every room]_{5850-every room} ; door after door unclosed ; [one]_4415-one looked out and another looked out ; [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} filled . [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} and [ladies alike]_{5854-ladies alike} had quitted [their]_{5854-ladies alike} beds ; and "_[4374-sir] Oh ! what is it ? " - "_[4374-sir] Who is hurt ? " - "_[4374-sir] What has happened ? " - "_[4374-sir] Fetch a light ! " - "_[4374-sir] Is it fire ? " - "_[4374-sir] Are there [robbers]_5464-robbers ? " - "_{[5464-robbers]} Where shall [we]_2322-they run ? " was demanded confusedly on all hands . But for the moonlight [they]_2322-they would have been in complete darkness . [They]_2322-they ran to and fro ; [they]_2322-they crowded together : some sobbed , some stumbled : the confusion was inextricable . "_{[5464-robbers]} Where [the devil]_{2293-the devil} is [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " cried [Colonel Dent]_{293-colonel dent} . "_{[2293-the devil]} [I]_0-i can not find [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} bed]_{2324-his bed} . " "_[0-i] Here ! here ! " was shouted in return . "_[0-i] Be composed , all of [you]_2325-you : [I]_0-i 'm coming . " And the door at the end of [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} opened , and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} advanced with a candle : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had just descended from [the upper storey]_{5856-the upper storey} . [One of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{5857-one of the ladies} ran to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} directly ; [she]_{5857-one of the ladies} seized [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arm : it was [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . "_[0-i] What awful event has taken place ? " said [she]_{5857-one of the ladies} . "_[0-i] Speak ! let [us]_2326-us know the worst at once ! " "_[0-i] But do n't pull [me]_0-i down or strangle [me]_0-i , " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} replied : for [the Misses Eshton]_{338-the misses eshton} were clinging about [him]_{251-mr. rochester} now ; and [the two dowagers]_{5859-the two dowagers} , in vast white wrappers , were bearing down on [him]_{251-mr. rochester} like [ships in full sail]_{5860-ships in full sail} . "_[0-i] All 's right ! - all 's right ! " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} cried . "_[0-i] It 's a mere rehearsal of Much Ado about Nothing . [Ladies]_745-ladies , keep off , or [I]_0-i shall wax dangerous . " And dangerous [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked : [his]_{251-mr. rochester} black eyes darted sparks . Calming [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} by an effort , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} added - "_[0-i] [A servant]_{4337-a servant} has had the nightmare ; that is all . [She]_{4337-a servant} 's [an excitable , nervous person]_{2329-an excitable , nervous person} : [she]_{4337-a servant} construed [her]_{4337-a servant} dream into an apparition , or something of that sort , no doubt ; and has taken a fit with fright . Now , then , [I]_0-i must see [you]_2330-you all back into [[your]_2330-you rooms]_{2331-your rooms} ; for , till [the house]_{4322-the house} is settled , [she]_{4337-a servant} can not be looked after . [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} , have the goodness to set [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies} the example . [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , [I]_0-i am sure [you]_2330-you will not fail in evincing superiority to idle terrors . [Amy]_302-amy and [Louisa]_303-louisa , return to [[your]_2330-you nests]_{2335-your nests} like a pair of doves , as [you]_2330-you are . [Mesdames]_346-mesdames " to [the dowagers]_{5861-the dowagers} , "_{[346-mesdames]} [you]_2330-you will take cold to a dead certainty , if [you]_2330-you stay in this chill gallery any longer . " And so , by dint of alternate coaxing and commanding , [he]_0-i contrived to get [them]_{5861-the dowagers} all once more enclosed in [[their]_{5861-the dowagers} separate dormitories]_{5862-their separate dormitories} . [I]_346-mesdames did not wait to be ordered back to [mine]_346-mesdames , but retreated unnoticed , as unnoticed [I]_346-mesdames had left [it]_5863-it . Not , however , to go to bed : on the contrary , [I]_346-mesdames began and dressed [myself]_346-mesdames carefully . The sounds [I]_346-mesdames had heard after the scream , and the words that had been uttered , had probably been heard only by [me]_346-mesdames ; for [they]_{5861-the dowagers} had proceeded from [the room above [mine]_346-mesdames]_{5864-the room above mine} : but [they]_{5861-the dowagers} assured [me]_346-mesdames that it was not [a servant]_{4337-a servant} 's dream which had thus struck horror through [the house]_{4322-the house} ; and that the explanation [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had given was merely an invention framed to pacify [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} guests]_{2111-his guests} . [I]_346-mesdames dressed , then , to be ready for emergencies . When dressed , [I]_346-mesdames sat a long time by the window looking out over [the silent grounds]_{5868-the silent grounds} and silvered fields and waiting for [I]_346-mesdames knew not what . It seemed to [me]_346-mesdames that some event must follow the strange cry , struggle , and call . No : stillness returned : each murmur and movement ceased gradually , and in about an hour [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} was again as hushed as [a desert]_{5869-a desert} . It seemed that sleep and night had resumed [their]_{5861-the dowagers} empire . Meantime the moon declined : [she]_5870-she was about to set . Not liking to sit in the cold and darkness , [I]_346-mesdames thought [I]_346-mesdames would lie down on [my]_346-mesdames bed , dressed as [I]_346-mesdames was . [I]_346-mesdames left the window , and moved with little noise across the carpet ; as [I]_346-mesdames stooped to take off [my]_346-mesdames shoes , a cautious hand tapped low at the door . "_{[346-mesdames]} Am [I]_0-i wanted ? " [I]_346-mesdames asked . "_{[346-mesdames]} Are [you]_0-i up ? " asked the voice [I]_4374-sir expected to hear , viz . , [[my]_4374-sir master]_{4336-my master} 's . "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] And dressed ? " "_{[346-mesdames]} Yes . " "_{[346-mesdames]} Come out , then , quietly . " [I]_346-mesdames obeyed . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} stood in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} holding a light . "_{[346-mesdames]} [I]_0-i want [you]_0-i , " [he]_0-i said : "_[0-i] come this way : take [your]_0-i time , and make no noise . " [My]_0-i slippers were thin : [I]_0-i could walk the matted floor as softly as a cat . [He]_0-i glided up [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} and up the stairs , and stopped in [the dark , low corridor of [the fateful third storey]_{5875-the fateful third storey}]_{5874-the dark , low corridor of the fateful third storey} : [I]_0-i had followed and stood at [his]_0-i side . "_[0-i] Have [you]_0-i a sponge in [[your]_0-i room]_{4973-your room} ? " [he]_0-i asked in a whisper . "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] Have [you]_0-i any salts - volatile salts ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes . " "_[4374-sir] Go back and fetch both . " [I]_4374-sir returned , sought the sponge on the washstand , the salts in [my]_4374-sir drawer , and once more retraced [my]_4374-sir steps . [He]_0-i still waited ; [he]_0-i held a key in [his]_0-i hand : approaching one of the small , black doors , [he]_0-i put it in the lock ; [he]_0-i paused , and addressed [me]_4374-sir again . "_[4374-sir] [You]_0-i do n't turn sick at the sight of blood ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall not : [I]_0-i have never been tried yet . " [I]_0-i felt a thrill while [I]_0-i answered [him]_0-i ; but no coldness , and no faintness . "_[0-i] Just give [me]_0-i [your]_0-i hand , " [he]_0-i said : "_[0-i] it will not do to risk a fainting fit . " [I]_0-i put [my]_0-i fingers into [his]_0-i . "_[0-i] Warm and steady , " was [his]_0-i remark : [he]_0-i turned the key and opened the door . [I]_0-i saw [a room [I]_0-i remembered to have seen before]_{5876-a room i remembered to have seen before} , the day [Mrs. Fairfax]_{295-mrs. fairfax} showed [me]_0-i over [the house]_{4322-the house} : [it]_{5876-a room i remembered to have seen before} was hung with tapestry ; but the tapestry was now looped up in one part , and there was a door apparent , which had then been concealed . This door was open ; a light shone out of [the room within]_{5878-the room within} : [I]_0-i heard thence a snarling , snatching sound , almost like a dog quarrelling . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , putting down [his]_0-i candle , said to [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] Wait a minute , " and [he]_0-i went forward to [the inner apartment]_{5879-the inner apartment} . A shout of laughter greeted [his]_0-i entrance ; noisy at first , and terminating in [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} 's own goblin ha ! ha ! [SHE]_{263-grace poole} then was there . [He]_0-i made some sort of arrangement without speaking , though [I]_0-i heard a low voice address [him]_0-i : [he]_0-i came out and closed the door behind [him]_0-i . "_[0-i] Here , [Jane]_146-jane ! " [he]_0-i said ; and [I]_146-jane walked round to the other side of a large bed , which with [its]_{5876-a room i remembered to have seen before} drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of [the chamber]_{4856-the chamber} . An easy - chair was near the bed - head : [a man]_{4429-a man} sat in it , dressed with the exception of [his]_{4429-a man} coat ; [he]_{4429-a man} was still ; [his]_{4429-a man} head leant back ; [his]_{4429-a man} eyes were closed . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} held the candle over [him]_0-i ; [I]_146-jane recognised in [his]_0-i pale and seemingly lifeless face - [the stranger]_{5632-the stranger} , [Mason]_337-mason : [I]_146-jane saw too that [his]_0-i linen on one side , and one arm , was almost soaked in blood . "_[146-jane] Hold the candle , " said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , and [I]_146-jane took it : [he]_0-i fetched a basin of water from [the washstand]_{783-the washstand} : "_[146-jane] Hold that , " said [he]_0-i . [I]_146-jane obeyed . [He]_0-i took the sponge , dipped it in , and moistened the corpse - like face ; [he]_0-i asked for [my]_146-jane smelling - bottle , and applied it to the nostrils . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason shortly unclosed [his]_337-mason eyes ; [he]_337-mason groaned . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} opened the shirt of [the wounded man]_{5884-the wounded man} , whose arm and shoulder were bandaged : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} sponged away blood , trickling fast down . "_[146-jane] Is there immediate danger ? " murmured [Mr. Mason]_337-mason . "_[146-jane] Pooh ! No - a mere scratch . Do n't be so overcome , [man]_4667-man : bear up ! [I]_0-i 'll fetch [a surgeon]_{5136-a surgeon} for [you]_4667-man now , [myself]_0-i : [you]_4667-man 'll be able to be removed by morning , [I]_0-i hope . [Jane]_146-jane , " [he]_0-i continued . "_[4374-sir] [Sir]_4374-sir ? " "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i shall have to leave [you]_4667-man in [this room]_{570-this room} with [this gentleman]_{2343-this gentleman} , for an hour , or perhaps two hours : [you]_4667-man will sponge the blood as [I]_0-i do when it returns : if [he]_{2343-this gentleman} feels faint , [you]_4667-man will put the glass of water on that stand to [his]_{2343-this gentleman} lips , and [your]_4667-man salts to [his]_{2343-this gentleman} nose . [You]_4667-man will not speak to [him]_{2343-this gentleman} on any pretext - and - [Richard]_308-richard , it will be at the peril of [your]_4667-man life if [you]_4667-man speak to [her]_2344-her : open [your]_4667-man lips - agitate [yourself-]_4667-man -and [I]_0-i 'll not answer for the consequences . " Again [the poor man]_{5885-the poor man} groaned ; [he]_{5885-the poor man} looked as if [he]_{5885-the poor man} dared not move ; fear , either of death or of something else , appeared almost to paralyse [him]_{5885-the poor man} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} put the now bloody sponge into [my]_0-i hand , and [I]_0-i proceeded to use it as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had done . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} watched [me]_0-i a second , then saying , "_[0-i] Remember ! - No conversation , " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} left [the room]_{535-the room} . [I]_146-jane experienced a strange feeling as the key grated in the lock , and the sound of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} retreating step ceased to be heard . Here then [I]_146-jane was in [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey} , fastened into one of [[its]_{1543-the third storey} mystic cells]_{5888-its mystic cells} ; night around [me]_146-jane ; a pale and bloody spectacle under [my]_146-jane eyes and hands ; [a murderess]_{5889-a murderess} hardly separated from [me]_146-jane by a single door : yes - that was appalling - the rest [I]_146-jane could bear ; but [I]_146-jane shuddered at the thought of [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} bursting out upon [me]_146-jane . [I]_146-jane must keep to [my]_146-jane post , however . [I]_146-jane must watch this ghastly countenance - these blue , still lips forbidden to unclose - these eyes now shut , now opening , now wandering through [the room]_{535-the room} , now fixing on [me]_146-jane , and ever glazed with the dulness of horror . [I]_146-jane must dip [my]_146-jane hand again and again in the basin of blood and water , and wipe away the trickling gore . [I]_146-jane must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on [my]_146-jane employment ; the shadows darken on the wrought , antique tapestry round [me]_146-jane , and grow black under the hangings of the vast old bed , and quiver strangely over the doors of a great cabinet opposite - whose front , divided into twelve panels , bore , in grim design , the heads of [the twelve apostles]_{5891-the twelve apostles} , each enclosed in its separate panel as in a frame ; while above them at the top rose an ebon crucifix and [a dying Christ]_{5892-a dying christ} . According as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here or glanced there , it was now [the bearded physician]_{5893-the bearded physician} , [Luke]_347-luke , that bent [his]_347-luke brow ; now [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's long hair that waved ; and anon the devilish face of [Judas]_348-judas , that grew out of the panel , and seemed gathering life and threatening a revelation of the arch - traitor - of [Satan]_349-satan [himself]_349-satan - in [[his]_349-satan subordinate]_{5894-his subordinate} 's form . Amidst all this , [I]_146-jane had to listen as well as watch : to listen for the movements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder side den . But since [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's visit it seemed spellbound : all the night [I]_146-jane heard but three sounds at three long intervals , - a step creak , a momentary renewal of the snarling , canine noise , and a deep human groan . Then [my]_146-jane own thoughts worried [me]_146-jane . What crime was this that lived incarnate in [this sequestered mansion]_{5895-this sequestered mansion} , and could neither be expelled nor subdued by [the owner]_{5896-the owner} ? - what mystery , that broke out now in fire and now in blood , at the deadest hours of night ? What creature was it , that , masked in [an ordinary woman]_{5897-an ordinary woman} 's face and shape , uttered the voice , now of [a mocking demon , and anon of a carrion - seeking bird of prey]_{5898-a mocking demon , and anon of a carrion - seeking bird of prey} ? And [this man]_{495-this man} [I]_146-jane bent over - [this commonplace , quiet stranger]_{5900-this commonplace , quiet stranger} - how had [he]_{495-this man} become involved in the web of horror ? and why had the Fury flown at [him]_{495-this man} ? What made [him]_{495-this man} seek [this quarter of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{5901-this quarter of the house} at an untimely season , when [he]_{495-this man} should have been asleep in bed ? [I]_146-jane had heard [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} assign [him]_{495-this man} [an apartment below]_{5903-an apartment below} - what brought [him]_{495-this man} [here]_4312-here ! And why , now , was [he]_{495-this man} so tame under the violence or treachery done [him]_{495-this man} ? Why did [he]_{495-this man} so quietly submit to the concealment [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} enforced ? Why DID [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} enforce this concealment ? [[His]_{251-mr. rochester} guest]_{5905-his guest} had been outraged , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own life on a former occasion had been hideously plotted against ; and both attempts [he]_{251-mr. rochester} smothered in secrecy and sank in oblivion ! Lastly , [I]_146-jane saw [Mr. Mason]_337-mason was submissive to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; that the impetuous will of [the latter]_{719-the latter} held complete sway over the inertness of [the former]_{5907-the former} : the few words which had passed between [them]_{719-the latter} assured [me]_146-jane of this . It was evident that in [their]_{719-the latter} former intercourse , the passive disposition of [the one]_{5908-the one} had been habitually influenced by the active energy of the other : whence then had arisen [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's dismay when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} heard of [Mr. Mason]_337-mason 's arrival ? Why had the mere name of [this unresisting individual]_{5909-this unresisting individual} - whom [his]_{251-mr. rochester} word now sufficed to control like [a child]_{4305-a child} - fallen on [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , a few hours since , as a thunderbolt might fall on an oak ? Oh ! [I]_146-jane could not forget [his]_0-i look and [his]_0-i paleness when [he]_0-i whispered : "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i have got a blow - [I]_0-i have got a blow , [Jane]_146-jane . " [I]_146-jane could not forget how the arm had trembled which [he]_0-i rested on [my]_146-jane shoulder : and it was no light matter which could thus bow the resolute spirit and thrill the vigorous frame of [Fairfax Rochester]_{271-fairfax rochester} . "_[146-jane] When will [he]_0-i come ? When will [he]_0-i come ? " [I]_146-jane cried inwardly , as the night lingered and lingered - as [[my]_146-jane bleeding patient]_{5911-my bleeding patient} drooped , moaned , sickened : and neither day nor aid arrived . [I]_146-jane had , again and again , held the water to [Mason]_337-mason 's white lips ; again and again offered [him]_337-mason the stimulating salts : [my]_146-jane efforts seemed ineffectual : either bodily or mental suffering , or loss of blood , or all three combined , were fast prostrating [his]_337-mason strength . [He]_337-mason moaned so , and looked so weak , wild , and lost , [I]_146-jane feared [he]_337-mason was dying ; and [I]_146-jane might not even speak to [him]_337-mason . The candle , wasted at last , went out ; as it expired , [I]_146-jane perceived streaks of grey light edging the window curtains : dawn was then approaching . Presently [I]_146-jane heard [Pilot]_267-pilot bark far below , out of [[his]_267-pilot distant kennel]_{5912-his distant kennel} in [the courtyard]_{5913-the courtyard} : hope revived . Nor was it unwarranted : in five minutes more the grating key , the yielding lock , warned [me]_146-jane [my]_146-jane watch was relieved . It could not have lasted more than two hours : many a week has seemed shorter . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} entered , and with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} [the surgeon [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had been to fetch]_{5914-the surgeon he had been to fetch} . "_[146-jane] Now , [Carter]_270-carter , be on the alert , " [he]_0-i said to this last : "_[270-carter] [I]_0-i give [you]_270-carter but half - an - hour for dressing the wound , fastening the bandages , getting [the patient]_{2345-the patient} [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} and all . " "_[0-i] But is [he]_{2345-the patient} fit to move , [sir]_4374-sir ? " "_[0-i] No doubt of it ; it is nothing serious ; [he]_{2345-the patient} is nervous , [his]_{2345-the patient} spirits must be kept up . Come , set to work . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} drew back the thick curtain , drew up the holland blind , let in all the daylight [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could ; and [I]_{2348-my good fellow} was surprised and cheered to see how far dawn was advanced : what rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the east . Then [he]_{251-mr. rochester} approached [Mason]_337-mason , whom [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} was already handling . "_{[2348-my good fellow]} Now , [[my]_0-i good fellow]_{2348-my good fellow} , how are [you]_{2348-my good fellow} ? " [he]_0-i asked . "_[2349-she] [She]_2349-she 's done for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i fear , " was the faint reply . "_[2349-she] Not a whit ! - courage ! This day fortnight [you]_{2348-my good fellow} 'll hardly be a pin the worse of it : [you]_{2348-my good fellow} 've lost a little blood ; that 's all . [Carter]_270-carter , assure [him]_{2345-the patient} there 's no danger . " "_[270-carter] [I]_0-i can do that conscientiously , " said [Carter]_270-carter , who had now undone the bandages ; "_[0-i] only [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could have got [here]_4312-here sooner : [he]_{2345-the patient} would not have bled so much - but how is this ? The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well as cut . This wound was not done with a knife : there have been teeth here ! " "_[2349-she] [She]_2349-she bit [me]_0-i , " [he]_0-i murmured . "_[2349-she] [She]_2349-she worried [me]_0-i like a tigress , when [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} got the knife from [her]_2349-she . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [You]_{251-mr. rochester} should not have yielded : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} should have grappled with [her]_2349-she at once , " said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} But under such circumstances , what could [one]_4415-one do ? " returned [Mason]_337-mason . "_[4415-one] Oh , it was frightful ! " [he]_0-i added , shuddering . "_[4415-one] And [I]_0-i did not expect it : [she]_2349-she looked so quiet at first . " "_[2349-she] [I]_0-i warned [you]_{251-mr. rochester} , " was [[his]_0-i friend]_{1054-his friend} 's answer ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said - be on [your]_{251-mr. rochester} guard when [you]_{251-mr. rochester} go near [her]_2349-she . Besides , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} might have waited till to- morrow , and had [me]_0-i with [you]_{251-mr. rochester} : it was mere folly to attempt the interview to - night , and alone . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i could have done some good . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [You]_{251-mr. rochester} thought ! [you]_{251-mr. rochester} thought ! Yes , it makes [me]_0-i impatient to hear [you]_{251-mr. rochester} : but , however , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have suffered , and are likely to suffer enough for not taking [my]_0-i advice ; so [I]_0-i 'll say no more . [Carter]_270-carter - hurry ! - hurry ! The sun will soon rise , and [I]_0-i must have [him]_270-carter off . " "_[270-carter] Directly , [sir]_4374-sir ; the shoulder is just bandaged . [I]_0-i must look to this other wound in the arm : [she]_2349-she has had [her]_2349-she teeth here too , [I]_0-i think . " "_[2349-she] [She]_2349-she sucked the blood : [she]_2349-she said [she]_2349-she 'd drain [my]_0-i heart , " said [Mason]_337-mason . [I]_2349-she saw [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} shudder : a singularly marked expression of disgust , horror , hatred , warped [his]_{251-mr. rochester} countenance almost to distortion ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} only said - "_[2349-she] Come , be silent , [Richard]_308-richard , and never mind [her]_2349-she gibberish : do n't repeat it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could forget it , " was the answer . "_{[308-richard]} [You]_308-richard will when [you]_308-richard are out of [the country]_{4525-the country} : when [you]_308-richard get back to [Spanish Town]_{77-spanish town} , [you]_308-richard may think of [her]_2349-she as dead and buried - or rather , [you]_308-richard need not think of [her]_2349-she at all . " "_{[308-richard]} Impossible to forget this night ! " "_{[308-richard]} It is not impossible : have some energy , [man]_4667-man . [You]_308-richard thought [you]_308-richard were as dead as a herring two hours since , and [you]_308-richard are all alive and talking now . There ! - [Carter]_270-carter has done with [you]_308-richard or nearly so ; [I]_0-i 'll make [you]_308-richard decent in a trice . [Jane]_146-jane " [he]_0-i turned to [me]_270-carter for the first time since [his]_0-i re - entrance , "_[270-carter] take this key : go down into [[my]_0-i bedroom]_{2355-my bedroom} , and walk straight forward into [[my]_0-i dressing - room]_{2356-my dressing - room} : open the top drawer of the wardrobe and take out a clean shirt and neck - handkerchief : bring them here ; and be nimble . " [I]_270-carter went ; sought [the repository [he]_0-i had mentioned]_{5917-the repository he had mentioned} , found the articles named , and returned with them . "_[270-carter] Now , " said [he]_0-i , "_[270-carter] go to the other side of the bed while [I]_0-i order [his]_0-i toilet ; but do n't leave [the room]_{535-the room} : [you]_308-richard may be wanted again . " [I]_4330-anybody retired as directed . "_{[4330-anybody]} Was [anybody]_4330-anybody stirring below when [you]_308-richard went down , [Jane]_146-jane ? " inquired [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} presently . "_{[4330-anybody]} No , [sir]_4374-sir ; all was very still . " "_{[4330-anybody]} [We]_2360-we shall get [you]_308-richard off cannily , [Dick]_350-dick : and it will be better , both for [your]_308-richard sake , and for that of the poor creature in yonder . [I]_0-i have striven long to avoid exposure , and [I]_0-i should not like it to come at last . Here , [Carter]_270-carter , help [him]_270-carter on with [his]_270-carter waist - coat . Where did [you]_308-richard leave [your]_308-richard furred cloak ? [You]_308-richard ca n't travel a mile without that , [I]_0-i know , in this damned cold climate . In [[your]_308-richard room]_{4973-your room} ? - [Jane]_146-jane , run down to [[Mr. Mason]_337-mason 's room]_{2362-mr. mason 's room} , - [the one next [mine]_0-i]_{2363-the one next mine} , - and fetch a cloak [you]_308-richard will see there . " Again [I]_308-richard ran , and again returned , bearing an immense mantle lined and edged with fur . "_{[308-richard]} Now , [I]_0-i 've another errand for [you]_146-jane , " said [[my]_0-i untiring master]_{5918-my untiring master} ; "_[0-i] [you]_146-jane must away to [[my]_0-i room]_{4787-my room} again . What a mercy [you]_146-jane are shod with velvet , [Jane]_146-jane ! - [a clod - hopping messenger]_{2365-a clod - hopping messenger} would never do at this juncture . [You]_146-jane must open the middle drawer of [my]_0-i toilet - table and take out a little phial and a little glass [you]_308-richard will find there , - quick ! " [I]_146-jane flew thither and back , bringing the desired vessels . "_[146-jane] That 's well ! Now , [doctor]_2366-doctor , [I]_0-i shall take the liberty of administering a dose [myself]_0-i , on [my]_0-i own responsibility . [I]_0-i got this cordial at [Rome]_17-rome , of [an Italian charlatan]_{2367-an italian charlatan} - [a fellow [you]_308-richard would have kicked]_{2368-a fellow you would have kicked} , [Carter]_270-carter . It is not a thing to be used indiscriminately , but it is good upon occasion : as now , for instance . [Jane]_146-jane , a little water . " [He]_0-i held out the tiny glass , and [I]_146-jane half filled it from the water - bottle on the washstand . "_[146-jane] That will do ; - now wet the lip of the phial . " [I]_308-richard did so ; [he]_0-i measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid , and presented it to [Mason]_337-mason . "_{[308-richard]} Drink , [Richard]_308-richard : it will give [you]_308-richard the heart [you]_308-richard lack , for an hour or so . " "_{[308-richard]} But will it hurt [me]_0-i ? - is it inflammatory ? " "_{[308-richard]} Drink ! drink ! drink ! " [Mr. Mason]_337-mason obeyed , because it was evidently useless to resist . [He]_337-mason was dressed now : [he]_337-mason still looked pale , but [he]_337-mason was no longer gory and sullied . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} let [him]_337-mason sit three minutes after [he]_337-mason had swallowed the liquid ; [he]_0-i then took [his]_337-mason arm - "_{[308-richard]} Now [I]_0-i am sure [you]_308-richard can get on [your]_308-richard feet , " [he]_0-i said - "_[0-i] try . " [The patient]_{2345-the patient} rose . "_[270-carter] [Carter]_270-carter , take [him]_308-richard under the other shoulder . Be of good cheer , [Richard]_308-richard ; step out - that 's it ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do feel better , " remarked [Mr. Mason]_337-mason . "_{[308-richard]} [I]_0-i am sure [you]_308-richard do . Now , [Jane]_146-jane , trip on before [us]_2369-us away to the backstairs ; unbolt the side - passage door , and tell the driver of the post - chaise [you]_308-richard will see in [the yard]_{2370-the yard} - or just outside , for [I]_0-i told [him]_308-richard not to drive [his]_308-richard rattling wheels over the pavement - to be ready ; [we]_2369-us are coming : and , [Jane]_146-jane , if any one is about , come to the foot of the stairs and hem . " It was by this time half - past five , and the sun was on the point of rising ; but [I]_146-jane found [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} still dark and silent . The side- passage door was fastened ; [I]_146-jane opened it with as little noise as possible : all [the yard]_{2370-the yard} was quiet ; but the gates stood wide open , and there was a post - chaise , with horses ready harnessed , and [driver]_5922-driver seated on the box , stationed outside . [I]_146-jane approached [him]_337-mason , and said [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} were coming ; [he]_337-mason nodded : then [I]_146-jane looked carefully round and listened . The stillness of early morning slumbered everywhere ; the curtains were yet drawn over [[the servants]_{546-the servants} ' chamber]_{5925-the servants ' chamber} windows ; little birds were just twittering in the blossom - blanched orchard trees , whose boughs drooped like white garlands over the wall enclosing one side of [the yard]_{2370-the yard} ; [the carriage horses]_{5927-the carriage horses} stamped from time to time in [[their]_{5927-the carriage horses} closed stables]_{5928-their closed stables} : all else was still . [The gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} now appeared . [Mason]_337-mason , supported by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} , seemed to walk with tolerable ease : [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} assisted [him]_2371-he into the chaise ; [Carter]_270-carter followed . "_[146-jane] Take care of [him]_2371-he , " said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} to [the latter]_{719-the latter} , "_[146-jane] and keep [him]_2371-he at [[your]_2372-your house]_{2373-your house} till [he]_2371-he is quite well : [I]_0-i shall ride over in a day or two to see how [he]_2371-he gets on . [Richard]_308-richard , how is it with [you]_2372-your ? " "_{[308-richard]} The fresh air revives [me]_0-i , [Fairfax]_{271-fairfax rochester} . " "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} Leave the window open on [his]_2371-he side , [Carter]_270-carter ; there is no wind - good- bye , [Dick]_350-dick . " "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} [Fairfax]_{271-fairfax rochester} - " "_{[271-fairfax rochester]} Well what is it ? " "_[2371-he] Let [her]_2371-he be taken care of ; let [her]_2371-he be treated as tenderly as may be : let [her]_2371-he - " [he]_2371-he stopped and burst into tears . "_[2371-he] [I]_0-i do [my]_0-i best ; and have done it , and will do it , " was the answer : [he]_2371-he shut up the chaise door , and [the vehicle]_{1356-the vehicle} drove away . "_[0-i] Yet would to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} there was an end of all this ! " added [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , as [he]_2371-he closed and barred [the heavy yard]_{5933-the heavy yard} - gates . This done , [he]_2371-he moved with slow step and abstracted air towards a door in the wall bordering [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} . [I]_146-jane , supposing [he]_2371-he had done with [me]_146-jane , prepared to return to [the house]_{4322-the house} ; again , however , [I]_146-jane heard [him]_2371-he call "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! " [He]_2371-he had opened feel portal and stood at [it]_{5120-that house} , waiting for [me]_146-jane . "_[146-jane] Come where there is some freshness , for a few moments , " [he]_2371-he said ; "_[146-jane] [that house]_{5120-that house} is [a mere dungeon]_{2375-a mere dungeon} : do n't [you]_146-jane feel it so ? " "_[146-jane] [It]_{5120-that house} seems to [me]_0-i [a splendid mansion]_{2376-a splendid mansion} , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] The glamour of inexperience is over [your]_146-jane eyes , " [he]_2371-he answered ; "_[4374-sir] and [you]_146-jane see it through a charmed medium : [you]_146-jane can not discern that the gilding is slime and the silk draperies cobwebs ; that the marble is sordid slate , and the polished woods mere refuse chips and scaly bark . Now HERE " [he]_2371-he pointed to the leafy enclosure [we]_5936-we had entered "_[146-jane] all is real , sweet , and pure . " [He]_2371-he strayed down [a walk edged with box]_{5937-a walk edged with box} , with apple trees , pear trees , and cherry trees on one side , and a border on the other full of all sorts of old - fashioned flowers , stocks , sweet - williams , primroses , pansies , mingled with southernwood , sweet - briar , and various fragrant herbs . They were fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams , followed by a lovely spring morning , could make them : the sun was just entering [the dappled east]_{5938-the dappled east} , and [his]_2371-he light illumined the wreathed and dewy orchard trees and shone down the quiet walks under [them]_5939-them . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , will [you]_146-jane have a flower ? " [He]_2371-he gathered a half - blown rose , the first on the bush , and offered it to [me]_146-jane . "_[146-jane] Thank [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] Do [you]_146-jane like this sunrise , [Jane]_146-jane ? That sky with its high and light clouds which are sure to melt away as the day waxes warm - this placid and balmly atmosphere ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do , very much . " "_[0-i] [You]_146-jane have passed a strange night , [Jane]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] And it has made [you]_146-jane look pale - were [you]_146-jane afraid when [I]_0-i left [you]_146-jane alone with [Mason]_337-mason ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was afraid of [some one]_{637-some one} coming out of [the inner room]_{2381-the inner room} . " "_{[637-some one]} But [I]_0-i had fastened the door - [I]_0-i had the key in [my]_0-i pocket : [I]_0-i should have been [a careless shepherd]_{2382-a careless shepherd} if [I]_0-i had left a lamb - [my]_0-i pet lamb - so near a wolf 's den , unguarded : [you]_146-jane were safe . " "_{[263-grace poole]} Will [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} live [here]_4312-here still , [sir]_4374-sir ? " "_{[263-grace poole]} Oh yes ! do n't trouble [your]_146-jane head about [her]_{263-grace poole} - put the thing out of [your]_146-jane thoughts . " "_{[263-grace poole]} Yet it seems to [me]_0-i [your]_146-jane life is hardly secure while [she]_{263-grace poole} stays . " "_{[263-grace poole]} Never fear - [I]_0-i will take care of [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Is the danger [you]_4374-sir apprehended last night gone by now , [sir]_4374-sir ? " "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i can not vouch for that till [Mason]_337-mason is out of [England]_21-england : nor even then . To live , for [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane , is to stand on a crater - crust which may crack and spue fire any day . " "_[337-mason] But [Mr. Mason]_337-mason seems [a man easily led]_{2386-a man easily led} . [Your]_146-jane influence , [sir]_4374-sir , is evidently potent with [him]_337-mason : [he]_337-mason will never set [you]_146-jane at defiance or wilfully injure [you]_146-jane . " "_[337-mason] Oh , no ! [Mason]_337-mason will not defy [me]_0-i ; nor , knowing it , will [he]_337-mason hurt [me]_0-i - but , unintentionally , [he]_337-mason might in a moment , by one careless word , deprive [me]_0-i , if not of life , yet for ever of happiness . " "_[337-mason] Tell [him]_337-mason to be cautious , [sir]_4374-sir : let [him]_337-mason know what [you]_4374-sir fear , and show [him]_337-mason how to avert the danger . " [He]_337-mason laughed sardonically , hastily took [my]_337-mason hand , and as hastily threw it from [him]_337-mason . "_[337-mason] If [I]_0-i could do that , [simpleton]_{2389-simpleton} , where would the danger be ? Annihilated in a moment . Ever since [I]_0-i have known [Mason]_337-mason , [I]_0-i have only had to say to [him]_337-mason ' Do that , ' and the thing has been done . But [I]_0-i can not give [him]_337-mason orders in this case : [I]_0-i can not say ' Beware of harming [me]_0-i , [Richard]_308-richard ; ' for it is imperative that [I]_0-i should keep [him]_337-mason ignorant that harm to [me]_0-i is possible . Now [you]_4374-sir look puzzled ; and [I]_0-i will puzzle [you]_4374-sir further . [You]_4374-sir are [[my]_0-i little friend]_{2299-my little friend} , are [you]_4374-sir not ? " "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i like to serve [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir , and to obey [you]_4374-sir in all that is right . " "_[0-i] Precisely : [I]_0-i see [you]_4374-sir do . [I]_0-i see genuine contentment in [your]_4374-sir gait and mien , [your]_4374-sir eye and face , when [you]_4374-sir are helping [me]_0-i and pleasing [me]_0-i - working for [me]_0-i , and with [me]_0-i , in , as [you]_4374-sir characteristically say , ' ALL THAT IS RIGHT : ' for if [I]_0-i bid [you]_4374-sir do what [you]_4374-sir thought wrong , there would be no light - footed running , no neat - handed alacrity , no lively glance and animated complexion . [[My]_0-i friend]_{4521-my friend} would then turn to [me]_0-i , quiet and pale , and would say , ' No , [sir]_4374-sir ; that is impossible : [I]_0-i can not do it , because it is wrong ; ' and would become immutable as a fixed star . Well , [you]_4374-sir too have power over [me]_0-i , and may injure [me]_0-i : yet [I]_0-i dare not show [you]_4374-sir where [I]_0-i am vulnerable , lest , faithful and friendly as [you]_4374-sir are , [you]_4374-sir should transfix [me]_0-i at once . " "_[4374-sir] If [you]_4374-sir have no more to fear from [Mr. Mason]_337-mason than [you]_4374-sir have from [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , [you]_4374-sir are very safe . " "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} grant it may be so ! Here , [Jane]_146-jane , is an arbour ; sit down . " The arbour was an arch in the wall , lined with ivy ; [it]_5940-it contained a rustic seat . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} took it , leaving room , however , for [me]_146-jane : but [I]_146-jane stood before [him]_0-i . "_[146-jane] Sit , " [he]_0-i said ; "_[146-jane] the bench is long enough for two . [You]_146-jane do n't hesitate to take a place at [my]_0-i side , do [you]_146-jane ? Is that wrong , [Jane]_146-jane ? " [I]_146-jane answered [him]_0-i by assuming it : to refuse would , [I]_146-jane felt , have been unwise . "_[146-jane] Now , [[my]_0-i little friend]_{2299-my little friend} , while the sun drinks the dew - while all the flowers in [this old garden]_{2396-this old garden} awake and expand , and the birds fetch [[their]_2397-their young ones]_{2398-their young ones} ' breakfast out of the Thornfield , and the early bees do [their]_2399-their first spell of work - [I]_0-i 'll put a case to [you]_{2299-my little friend} , which [you]_{2299-my little friend} must endeavour to suppose [your]_{2299-my little friend} own : but first , look at [me]_0-i , and tell [me]_0-i [you]_{2299-my little friend} are at ease , and not fearing that [I]_0-i err in detaining [you]_{2299-my little friend} , or that [you]_{2299-my little friend} err in staying . " "_[4374-sir] No , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_0-i am content . " "_[4374-sir] Well then , [Jane]_146-jane , call to aid [your]_{2299-my little friend} fancy:- suppose [you]_{2299-my little friend} were no longer [a girl well reared and disciplined]_{2401-a girl well reared and disciplined} , but [a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards]_{2402-a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards} ; imagine [yourself]_{2299-my little friend} in [a remote foreign land]_{2403-a remote foreign land} ; conceive that [you]_{2299-my little friend} there commit a capital error , no matter of what nature or from what motives , but one whose consequences must follow [you]_{2299-my little friend} through life and taint all [your]_{2299-my little friend} existence . Mind , [I]_0-i do n't say a CRIME ; [I]_0-i am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty act , which might make [the perpetrator]_{2404-the perpetrator} amenable to the law : [my]_0-i word is ERROR . The results of what [you]_{2299-my little friend} have done become in time to [you]_{2299-my little friend} utterly insupportable ; [you]_{2299-my little friend} take measures to obtain relief : unusual measures , but neither unlawful nor culpable . Still [you]_{2299-my little friend} are miserable ; for hope has quitted [you]_{2299-my little friend} on the very confines of life : [your]_{2299-my little friend} sun at noon darkens in an eclipse , which [you]_{2299-my little friend} feel will not leave it till the time of setting . Bitter and base associations have become the sole food of [your]_{2299-my little friend} memory : [you]_{2299-my little friend} wander here and there , seeking rest in exile : happiness in pleasure - [I]_0-i mean in heartless , sensual pleasure - such as dulls intellect and blights feeling . Heart - weary and soul - withered , [you]_{2299-my little friend} come [home]_509-home after years of voluntary banishment : [you]_{2299-my little friend} make a new acquaintance - how or where no matter : [you]_{2299-my little friend} find in [this stranger]_{1639-this stranger} much of the good and bright qualities which [you]_{2299-my little friend} have sought for twenty years , and never before encountered ; and they are all fresh , healthy , without soil and without taint . Such society revives , regenerates : [you]_{2299-my little friend} feel better days come back - higher wishes , purer feelings ; [you]_{2299-my little friend} desire to recommence [your]_{2299-my little friend} life , and to spend what remains to [you]_{2299-my little friend} of days in a way more worthy of [an immortal being]_{2407-an immortal being} . To attain this end , are [you]_{2299-my little friend} justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom - a mere conventional impediment which neither [your]_{2299-my little friend} conscience sanctifies nor [your]_{2299-my little friend} judgment approves ? " [He]_0-i paused for an answer : and what was [I]_4667-man to say ? Oh , for [some good spirit]_{5941-some good spirit} to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response ! Vain aspiration ! The west wind whispered in the ivy round [me]_4667-man ; but [no gentle Ariel]_{5942-no gentle ariel} borrowed its breath as a medium of speech : the birds sang in the tree - tops ; but [their]_{5942-no gentle ariel} song , however sweet , was inarticulate . Again [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} propounded [his]_{251-mr. rochester} query : "_[4667-man] Is the wandering and sinful , but now rest - seeking and repentant , [man]_4667-man justified in daring [the world]_{484-the world} 's opinion , in order to attach to [him]_4667-man for ever [this gentle , gracious , genial stranger]_{2410-this gentle , gracious , genial stranger} , thereby securing [his]_4667-man own peace of mind and regeneration of life ? " "_[4374-sir] [Sir]_4374-sir , " [I]_4374-sir answered , "_[4374-sir] [a wanderer]_{2412-a wanderer} 's repose or [a sinner]_{2413-a sinner} 's reformation should never depend on [a fellow]_{2414-a fellow} - creature . [Men]_482-men and [women]_671-women die ; [philosophers]_{2417-philosophers} falter in wisdom , and [Christians]_{351-christians} in goodness : if [any one]_{591-any one} [you]_4374-sir know has suffered and erred , let [him]_{591-any one} look higher than [[his]_{591-any one} equals]_{2419-his equals} for strength to amend and solace to heal . " "_{[591-any one]} But the instrument - the instrument ! [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , who does the work , ordains the instrument . [I]_0-i have [myself]_0-i - [I]_0-i tell it [you]_4374-sir without parable - been [a worldly , dissipated , restless man]_{2420-a worldly , dissipated , restless man} ; and [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i have found the instrument for [my]_0-i cure in - " [He]_0-i paused : the birds went on carolling , the leaves lightly rustling . [I]_{2421-little friend} almost wondered [they]_5943-they did not check [their]_5943-they songs and whispers to catch the suspended revelation ; but [they]_5943-they would have had to wait many minutes - so long was the silence protracted . At last [I]_{2421-little friend} looked up at [the tardy speaker]_{5944-the tardy speaker} : [he]_0-i was looking eagerly at [me]_{2421-little friend} . "_{[2421-little friend]} [Little friend]_{2421-little friend} , " said [he]_0-i , in quite a changed tone - while [his]_0-i face changed too , losing all its softness and gravity , and becoming harsh and sarcastic - "_{[2421-little friend]} [you]_{2421-little friend} have noticed [my]_0-i tender penchant for [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} : do n't [you]_{2421-little friend} think if [I]_0-i married [her]_{297-miss ingram} [she]_{297-miss ingram} would regenerate [me]_0-i with a vengeance ? " [He]_0-i got up instantly , went quite to the other end of the walk , and when [he]_0-i came back [he]_0-i was humming a tune . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [Jane]_146-jane , " said [he]_0-i , stopping before [me]_146-jane , "_[146-jane] [you]_146-jane are quite pale with [your]_146-jane vigils : do n't [you]_146-jane curse [me]_0-i for disturbing [your]_146-jane rest ? " "_[146-jane] Curse [you]_0-i ? No , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] Shake hands in confirmation of the word . What cold fingers ! [They]_2423-they were warmer last night when [I]_0-i touched them at the door of [the mysterious chamber]_{2424-the mysterious chamber} . [Jane]_146-jane , when will [you]_146-jane watch with [me]_0-i again ? " "_[146-jane] Whenever [I]_0-i can be useful , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] For instance , the night before [I]_0-i am married ! [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i shall not be able to sleep . Will [you]_4374-sir promise to sit up with [me]_0-i to bear [me]_0-i company ? To [you]_4374-sir [I]_0-i can talk of [[my]_0-i lovely one]_{2426-my lovely one} : for now [you]_4374-sir have seen [her]_{2426-my lovely one} and know [her]_{2426-my lovely one} . " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] [She]_{2426-my lovely one} 's [a rare one]_{2428-a rare one} , is [she]_{2426-my lovely one} not , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] [A strapper]_{2430-a strapper} - [a real strapper]_{2431-a real strapper} , [Jane]_146-jane : big , brown , and buxom ; with hair just such as [the ladies of Carthage]_{2432-the ladies of carthage} must have had . Bless [me]_0-i ! there 's [Dent]_{293-colonel dent} and [Lynn]_308-richard in [the stables]_{5694-the stables} ! Go in by the shrubbery , through that wicket . " As [I]_337-mason went one way , [he]_337-mason went another , and [I]_337-mason heard [him]_337-mason in [the yard]_{2370-the yard} , saying cheerfully - "_[337-mason] [Mason]_337-mason got the start of [you]_146-jane all this morning ; [he]_337-mason was gone before sunrise : [I]_0-i rose at four to see [him]_337-mason off . " CHAPTER XXI Presentiments are strange things ! and so are sympathies ; and so are signs ; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not yet found the key . [I]_0-i never laughed at presentiments in [my]_0-i life , because [I]_0-i have had strange ones of [my]_0-i own . Sympathies , [I]_0-i believe , exist for instance , between [far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives]_{5946-far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives} asserting , notwithstanding [their]_{5946-far - distant , long - absent , wholly estranged relatives} alienation , the unity of the source to which each traces [his]_337-mason origin whose workings baffle mortal comprehension . And signs , for aught [we]_5947-we know , may be but the sympathies of Nature with [man]_4667-man . When [I]_0-i was [a little girl , only six years old]_{5949-a little girl , only six years old} , [I]_0-i one night heard [Bessie]_195-bessie Leaven say to [Martha Abbot]_{352-martha abbot} that [she]_195-bessie had been dreaming about [a little child]_{5950-a little child} ; and that to dream of [children]_524-children was a sure sign of trouble , either to [one]_4415-one 's self or [one 's kin]_{5953-one 's kin} . The saying might have worn out of [my]_0-i memory , had not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix it there . The next day [Bessie]_195-bessie was sent for [home]_509-home to the deathbed of [[her]_195-bessie little sister]_{5955-her little sister} . Of late [I]_0-i had often recalled this saying and this incident ; for during the past week scarcely a night had gone over [my]_0-i couch that had not brought with it a dream of [an infant]_{5956-an infant} , which [I]_0-i sometimes hushed in [my]_0-i arms , sometimes dandled on [my]_0-i knee , sometimes watched playing with daisies on [a lawn]_{5957-a lawn} , or again , dabbling its hands in running water . It was [a wailing child]_{5958-a wailing child} this night , and [a laughing one]_{5959-a laughing one} the next : now it nestled close to [me]_0-i , and now it ran from [me]_0-i ; but whatever mood [the apparition]_{5960-the apparition} evinced , whatever aspect [it]_{5960-the apparition} wore , it failed not for seven successive nights to meet [me]_0-i the moment [I]_0-i entered [the land of slumber]_{5961-the land of slumber} . [I]_0-i did not like this iteration of one idea - this strange recurrence of one image , and [I]_0-i grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the vision drew near . It was from companionship with [this baby]_{5962-this baby} - phantom [I]_0-i had been roused on that moonlight night when [I]_0-i heard the cry ; and it was on the afternoon of the day following [I]_0-i was summoned [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} by a message that [some one]_{637-some one} wanted [me]_0-i in [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's room]_{1553-mrs. fairfax 's room} . On [repairing thither]_{5966-repairing thither} , [I]_0-i found [a man]_{4429-a man} waiting for [me]_0-i , having the appearance of [[a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} 's servant]_{5969-a gentleman 's servant} : [he]_0-i was dressed in deep mourning , and the hat [he]_0-i held in [his]_0-i hand was surrounded with a crape band . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i daresay [you]_2434-you hardly remember [me]_0-i , [Miss]_2435-miss , " [he]_0-i said , rising as [I]_2434-you entered ; "_[2434-you] but [my]_0-i name is Leaven : [I]_0-i lived coachman with [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} when [you]_2434-you were at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead , eight or nine years since , and [I]_0-i live [there]_4426-there still . " "_[0-i] Oh , [Robert]_240-robert ! how do [you]_240-robert do ? [I]_0-i remember [you]_240-robert very well : [you]_240-robert used to give [me]_0-i a ride sometimes on [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} 's bay pony . And how is [Bessie]_195-bessie ? [You]_240-robert are married to [Bessie]_195-bessie ? " "_[4359-miss] Yes , [Miss]_4359-miss : [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} is very hearty , thank [you]_2434-you ; [she]_{2180-my wife} brought [me]_0-i [another little one]_{2439-another little one} about two months since - [we]_2440-we have three now - and both [mother]_4387-mother and [child]_4354-child are thriving . " "_{[4387-mother]} And are [the family]_{5088-the family} well at [the house]_{4322-the house} , [Robert]_240-robert ? " "_[240-robert] [I]_0-i am sorry [I]_0-i ca n't give [you]_2434-you better news of [them]_{5088-the family} , [Miss]_2445-miss : [they]_{5088-the family} are very badly at present - in great trouble . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [no one]_{593-no one} is dead , " [I]_0-i said , glancing at [his]_240-robert black dress . [He]_240-robert too looked down at the crape round [his]_240-robert hat and replied - "_[0-i] [Mr. John]_{177-st. john} died yesterday was a week , at [[his]_{177-st. john} chambers in [London]_31-london]_{2447-his chambers in london} . " "_{[177-st. john]} [Mr. John]_{177-st. john} ? " "_{[177-st. john]} Yes . " "_{[177-st. john]} And how does [[his]_{177-st. john} mother]_{544-his mother} bear it ? " "_{[544-his mother]} Why , [you]_2434-you see , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , it is not a common mishap : [his]_{177-st. john} life has been very wild : these last three years [he]_{177-st. john} gave [himself]_{177-st. john} up to strange ways , and [his]_{177-st. john} death was shocking . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i heard from [Bessie]_195-bessie [he]_{177-st. john} was not doing well . " "_[195-bessie] Doing well ! [He]_{177-st. john} could not do worse : [he]_{177-st. john} ruined [his]_{177-st. john} health and [his]_{177-st. john} estate amongst [the worst men]_{2449-the worst men} and [the worst women]_{2450-the worst women} . [He]_{177-st. john} got into debt and into [jail]_2451-jail : [[his]_{177-st. john} mother]_{544-his mother} helped [him]_{177-st. john} out twice , but as soon as [he]_{177-st. john} was free [he]_{177-st. john} returned to [his]_{177-st. john} old companions and habits . [His]_{177-st. john} head was not strong : the knaves [he]_{177-st. john} lived amongst fooled [him]_{177-st. john} beyond anything [I]_0-i ever heard . [He]_{177-st. john} came down to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted [missis]_2453-missis to give up all to [him]_{177-st. john} . [Missis]_178-missis refused : [her]_178-missis means have long been much reduced by [his]_{177-st. john} extravagance ; so [he]_{177-st. john} went back again , and the next news was that [he]_{177-st. john} was dead . How [he]_{177-st. john} died , God knows ! - [they]_2454-they say [he]_{177-st. john} killed [himself]_{177-st. john} . " [I]_178-missis was silent : the things were frightful . [Robert Leaven]_240-robert resumed - "_[178-missis] [Missis]_178-missis had been out of health [herself]_178-missis for some time : [she]_178-missis had got very stout , but was not strong with it ; and the loss of money and fear of poverty were quite breaking [her]_178-missis down . The information about [Mr. John]_{177-st. john} 's death and the manner of it came too suddenly : it brought on a stroke . [She]_178-missis was three days without speaking ; but last Tuesday [she]_178-missis seemed rather better : [she]_178-missis appeared as if [she]_178-missis wanted to say something , and kept making signs to [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} and mumbling . It was only yesterday morning , however , that [Bessie]_195-bessie understood [she]_195-bessie was pronouncing [your]_2456-you name ; and at last [she]_195-bessie made out the words , ' Bring [Jane]_146-jane - fetch [Jane Eyre]_146-jane : [I]_0-i want to speak to [her]_178-missis . ' [Bessie]_195-bessie is not sure whether [she]_195-bessie is in [her]_195-bessie right mind , or means anything by the words ; but [she]_195-bessie told [Miss Reed]_243-jane and [Miss Georgiana]_{192-miss georgiana} , and advised [them]_2457-them to send for [you]_2456-you . [The young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} put it off at first ; but [[their]_{4509-the young ladies} mother]_{2459-their mother} grew so restless , and said , ' [Jane]_243-jane , [Jane]_243-jane , ' so many times , that at last [they]_{4509-the young ladies} consented . [I]_0-i left [Gateshead]_20-gateshead yesterday : and if [you]_2456-you can get ready , [Miss]_4359-miss , [I]_0-i should like to take [you]_2456-you back with [me]_0-i early to - morrow morning . " "_[240-robert] Yes , [Robert]_240-robert , [I]_0-i shall be ready : it seems to [me]_0-i that [I]_0-i ought to go . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think so too , [Miss. Bessie]_195-bessie said [she]_195-bessie was sure [you]_240-robert would not refuse : but [I]_0-i suppose [you]_240-robert will have to ask leave before [you]_240-robert can get off ? " "_[195-bessie] Yes ; and [I]_0-i will do it now ; " and having directed [him]_240-robert to [[the servants]_{546-the servants} ' hall]_{2001-the servants ' hall} , and recommended [him]_240-robert to the care of [[John]_{177-st. john} 's wife]_{5435-john 's wife} , and the attentions of [John]_{177-st. john} [himself]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i went in search of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was not in [any of [the lower rooms]_{5974-the lower rooms}]_{5973-any of the lower rooms} ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not in [the yard]_{2370-the yard} , [the stables]_{5694-the stables} , or [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} . [I]_0-i asked [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} if [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had seen [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; - yes : [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} believed [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was playing billiards with [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . To [the billiard - room]_{5697-the billiard - room} [I]_0-i hastened : the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded thence ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , [the two Misses Eshton]_{2164-the two misses eshton} , and [[their]_{2164-the two misses eshton} admirers]_{5980-their admirers} , were all busied in the game . It required some courage to disturb so interesting a party ; [my]_0-i errand , however , was one [I]_0-i could not defer , so [I]_0-i approached [the master]_{540-the master} where [he]_{540-the master} stood at [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's side . [She]_{297-miss ingram} turned as [I]_0-i drew near , and looked at [me]_0-i haughtily : [her]_{297-miss ingram} eyes seemed to demand , "_[0-i] What can [the creeping creature]_{2461-the creeping creature} want now ? " and when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} said , in a low voice , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , " [she]_{297-miss ingram} made a movement as if tempted to order [me]_{251-mr. rochester} away . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} remember [her]_{297-miss ingram} appearance at the moment - it was very graceful and very striking : [she]_{297-miss ingram} wore a morning robe of sky - blue crape ; a gauzy azure scarf was twisted in [her]_{297-miss ingram} hair . [She]_{297-miss ingram} had been all animation with the game , and irritated pride did not lower the expression of [her]_{297-miss ingram} haughty lineaments . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Does [that person]_{2462-that person} want [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " [she]_{297-miss ingram} inquired of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} turned to see who [the "_{[2462-that person]} person "]_{5982-the " person "} was . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} made a curious grimace - one of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} strange and equivocal demonstrations - threw down [his]_{251-mr. rochester} cue and followed [me]_{251-mr. rochester} from [the room]_{535-the room} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Well , [Jane]_243-jane ? " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rested [his]_{251-mr. rochester} back against the schoolroom door , which [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had shut . "_[243-jane] If [you]_243-jane please , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i want leave of absence for a week or two . " "_[0-i] What to do ? - where to go ? " "_{[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me]} To see [a sick lady who has sent for [me]_0-i]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} . " "_{[2465-what sick lady]} [What sick lady]_{2465-what sick lady} ? - where does [she]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} live ? " "_{[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me]} At [Gateshead]_20-gateshead ; in -shire . " "_{[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me]} -shire ? That is a hundred miles off ! Who may [she]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} be that sends for [people]_4493-people to see [her]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} that distance ? " "_{[2464-a sick lady who has sent for me]} [Her]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} name is [Reed]_243-jane , [sir]_4374-sir - [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} . " "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [Reed of [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{2468-reed of gateshead} ? There was [a Reed of [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{2469-a reed of gateshead} , [a magistrate]_{2470-a magistrate} . " "_{[2470-a magistrate]} [It]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} is [[his]_{2469-a reed of gateshead} widow]_{2471-his widow} , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] And what have [you]_4374-sir to do with [her]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} ? How do [you]_4374-sir know [her]_{2464-a sick lady who has sent for me} ? " "_[4374-sir] [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} was [[my]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} - [[[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} 's brother]_{613-my mother 's brother} . " "_{[169-mr. reed]} [The deuce]_{354-the deuce} [he]_{169-mr. reed} was ! [You]_4374-sir never told [me]_0-i that before : [you]_4374-sir always said [you]_4374-sir had [no relations]_{2476-no relations} . " "_[4374-sir] None that would own [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir . [Mr. Reed]_{169-mr. reed} is dead , and [[his]_{169-mr. reed} wife]_{4986-his wife} cast [me]_0-i off . " "_{[4986-his wife]} Why ? " "_{[4986-his wife]} Because [I]_0-i was poor , and burdensome , and [she]_{4986-his wife} disliked [me]_0-i . " "_{[4986-his wife]} But [Reed]_{169-mr. reed} left [children]_524-children ? - [you]_4374-sir must have [cousins]_4391-cousins ? [Sir George Lynn]_{292-sir george lynn} was talking of [a Reed of [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{2469-a reed of gateshead} yesterday , who , [he]_{292-sir george lynn} said , was [one of [the veriest rascals on [town]_5534-town]_{2483-the veriest rascals on town}]_{2482-one of the veriest rascals on town} ; and [Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} was mentioning [a Georgiana Reed of [the same place]_{2485-the same place}]_{160-georgiana} , who was much admired for [her]_{160-georgiana} beauty a season or two ago in [London]_31-london . " "_{[297-miss ingram]} [John Reed]_159-john is dead , too , [sir]_4374-sir : [he]_159-john ruined [himself]_159-john and half - ruined [[his]_159-john family]_{1092-his family} , and is supposed to have committed suicide . The news so shocked [[his]_159-john mother]_{544-his mother} that it brought on an apoplectic attack . " "_{[544-his mother]} And what good can [you]_4374-sir do [her]_{544-his mother} ? Nonsense , [Jane]_243-jane ! [I]_0-i would never think of running a hundred miles to see [an old lady who will , perhaps , be dead before [you]_4374-sir reach [her]_{544-his mother}]_{2489-an old lady who will , perhaps , be dead before you reach her} : besides , [you]_4374-sir say [she]_{544-his mother} cast [you]_4374-sir off . " "_{[544-his mother]} Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , but that is long ago ; and when [her]_{544-his mother} circumstances were very different : [I]_0-i could not be easy to neglect [her]_{544-his mother} wishes now . " "_[0-i] How long will [you]_4374-sir stay ? " "_[0-i] As short a time as possible , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] Promise [me]_0-i only to stay a week - " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had better not pass [my]_0-i word : [I]_0-i might be obliged to break it . " "_[0-i] At all events [you]_4374-sir WILL come back : [you]_4374-sir will not be induced under any pretext to take up [a permanent residence]_{2492-a permanent residence} with [her]_{544-his mother} ? " "_{[544-his mother]} Oh , no ! [I]_0-i shall certainly return if all be well . " "_[0-i] And who goes with [you]_4374-sir ? [You]_4374-sir do n't travel a hundred miles alone . " "_{[544-his mother]} No , [sir]_4374-sir , [she]_{544-his mother} has sent [[her]_{544-his mother} coachman]_{2494-her coachman} . " "_{[2494-her coachman]} [A person to be trusted]_{2495-a person to be trusted} ? " "_{[2494-her coachman]} Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , [he]_{2494-her coachman} has lived ten years in [the family]_{5088-the family} . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} meditated . "_{[2494-her coachman]} When do [you]_4374-sir wish to go ? " "_{[2494-her coachman]} Early to - morrow morning , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_{[2494-her coachman]} Well , [you]_4374-sir must have some money ; [you]_4374-sir ca n't travel without money , and [I]_0-i daresay [you]_4374-sir have not much : [I]_0-i have given [you]_4374-sir no salary yet . How much have [you]_4374-sir in [the world]_{484-the world} , [Jane]_243-jane ? " [he]_0-i asked , smiling . [I]_4374-sir drew out [my]_4374-sir purse ; a meagre thing it was . "_[4374-sir] Five shillings , [sir]_4374-sir . " [He]_0-i took the purse , poured the hoard into [his]_0-i palm , and chuckled over it as if its scantiness amused [him]_0-i . Soon [he]_0-i produced [his]_0-i pocket- book : "_[4374-sir] Here , " said [he]_0-i , offering [me]_4374-sir a note ; it was fifty pounds , and [he]_0-i owed [me]_4374-sir but fifteen . [I]_4374-sir told [him]_0-i [I]_4374-sir had no change . "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i do n't want change ; [you]_4374-sir know that . Take [your]_4374-sir wages . " [I]_4374-sir declined accepting more than was [my]_4374-sir due . [He]_0-i scowled at first ; then , as if recollecting something , [he]_0-i said - "_[4374-sir] Right , right ! Better not give [you]_4374-sir all now : [you]_4374-sir would , perhaps , stay away three months if [you]_4374-sir had fifty pounds . There are ten ; is it not plenty ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , but now [you]_4374-sir owe [me]_0-i five . " "_[0-i] Come back for it , then ; [I]_0-i am [[your]_4374-sir banker]_{2502-your banker} for forty pounds . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i may as well mention another matter of business to [you]_4374-sir while [I]_0-i have the opportunity . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Matter of business ? [I]_0-i am curious to hear it . " "_[0-i] [You]_4374-sir have as good as informed [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , that [you]_4374-sir are going shortly to be married ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes ; what then ? " "_[4374-sir] In that case , [sir]_4374-sir , [Adele]_259-adele ought to go to [school]_537-school : [I]_0-i am sure [you]_4374-sir will perceive the necessity of it . " "_[4374-sir] To get [her]_259-adele out of [[my]_0-i bride]_{2506-my bride} 's way , who might otherwise walk over [her]_259-adele rather too emphatically ? There 's sense in the suggestion ; not a doubt of it . [Adele]_259-adele , as [you]_4374-sir say , must go to [school]_537-school ; and [you]_4374-sir , of course , must march straight to - the devil ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope not , [sir]_4374-sir ; but [I]_0-i must seek another situation somewhere . " "_[0-i] In course ! " [he]_4374-sir exclaimed , with a twang of voice and a distortion of features equally fantastic and ludicrous . [He]_4374-sir looked at [me]_0-i some minutes . "_[0-i] And [old Madam Reed]_{355-old madam reed} , or [the Misses]_{2509-the misses} , [[her]_{355-old madam reed} daughters]_{2066-her daughters} , will be solicited by [you]_4374-sir to seek a place , [I]_0-i suppose ? " "_[0-i] No , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_0-i am not on such terms with [[my]_0-i relatives]_{2512-my relatives} as would justify [me]_0-i in asking favours of [them]_{2512-my relatives} - but [I]_0-i shall advertise . " "_[0-i] [You]_4374-sir shall walk up [the pyramids of [Egypt]_78-egypt]_{2513-the pyramids of egypt} ! " [he]_4374-sir growled . "_[4374-sir] At [your]_4374-sir peril [you]_4374-sir advertise ! [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i had only offered [you]_4374-sir a sovereign instead of ten pounds . Give [me]_0-i back nine pounds , [Jane]_243-jane ; [I]_0-i 've a use for it . " "_[0-i] And so have [I]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , " [I]_0-i returned , putting [my]_0-i hands and [my]_0-i purse behind [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not spare the money on any account . " "_{[2515-little niggard]} [Little niggard]_{2515-little niggard} ! " said [he]_4374-sir , "_{[2515-little niggard]} refusing [me]_0-i a pecuniary request ! Give [me]_0-i five pounds , [Jane]_243-jane . " "_[243-jane] Not five shillings , [sir]_4374-sir ; nor five pence . " "_{[2515-little niggard]} Just let [me]_0-i look at the cash . " "_{[2515-little niggard]} No , [sir]_4374-sir ; [you]_4374-sir are not to be trusted . " "_[243-jane] [Jane]_243-jane ! " "_[4374-sir] [Sir]_4374-sir ? " "_[4374-sir] Promise [me]_0-i one thing . " "_[4374-sir] [I]_0-i 'll promise [you]_4374-sir anything , [sir]_4374-sir , that [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i am likely to perform . " "_[0-i] Not to advertise : and to trust this quest of a situation to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i 'll find [you]_4374-sir one in time . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall be glad so to do , [sir]_4374-sir , if [you]_4374-sir , in [your]_4374-sir turn , will promise that [I]_0-i and [Adele]_259-adele shall be both safe out of [the house]_{4322-the house} before [[your]_4374-sir bride]_{2522-your bride} enters it . " "_[4374-sir] Very well ! very well ! [I]_0-i 'll pledge [my]_0-i word on it . [You]_4374-sir go to - morrow , then ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir ; early . " "_[4374-sir] Shall [you]_4374-sir come down to [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} after dinner ? " "_[4374-sir] No , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i must prepare for the journey . " "_[4374-sir] Then [you]_4374-sir and [I]_0-i must bid good - bye for a little while ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose so , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] And how do [people]_4493-people perform that ceremony of parting , [Jane]_243-jane ? Teach [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i 'm not quite up to it . " "_{[4493-people]} [They]_4493-people say , Farewell , or any other form [they]_4493-people prefer . " "_{[4493-people]} Then say it . " "_{[4493-people]} Farewell , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , for the present . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} What must [I]_0-i say ? " "_[0-i] The same , if [you]_4374-sir like , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] Farewell , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , for the present ; is that all ? " "_[146-jane] Yes ? " "_[146-jane] It seems stingy , to [my]_0-i notions , and dry , and unfriendly . [I]_0-i should like something else : a little addition to the rite . If [one]_4415-one shook hands , for instance ; but no - that would not content [me]_0-i either . So [you]_4374-sir 'll do no more than say Farewell , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[4374-sir] It is enough , [sir]_4374-sir : as much good - will may be conveyed in one hearty word as in many . " "_[4374-sir] Very likely ; but it is blank and cool - ' Farewell . ' " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} How long is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} going to stand with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} back against that door ? " [I]_0-i asked [myself]_0-i ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i want to commence [my]_0-i packing . " The dinner - bell rang , and suddenly away [he]_{251-mr. rochester} bolted , without another syllable : [I]_0-i saw [him]_{251-mr. rochester} no more during the day , and was off before [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had risen in the morning . [I]_0-i reached [the lodge at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{5984-the lodge at gateshead} about five o'clock in the afternoon of the first of May : [I]_0-i stepped in [there]_4426-there before going up to [the hall]_{608-the hall} . [It]_{608-the hall} was very clean and neat : the ornamental windows were hung with little white curtains ; the floor was spotless ; the grate and fire - irons were burnished bright , and the fire burnt clear . [Bessie]_195-bessie sat on the hearth , nursing [her]_195-bessie last - born , and [Robert]_240-robert and [[his]_240-robert sister]_{5987-his sister} played quietly in a corner . "_[0-i] Bless [you]_0-i ! - [I]_0-i knew [you]_0-i would come ! " exclaimed [Mrs. Leaven]_{242-mrs. leaven} , as [I]_0-i entered . "_[0-i] Yes , [Bessie]_195-bessie , " said [I]_195-bessie , after [I]_195-bessie had kissed [her]_195-bessie ; "_[195-bessie] and [I]_0-i trust [I]_0-i am not too late . How is [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? - Alive still , [I]_0-i hope . " "_{[156-mrs. reed]} Yes , [she]_{156-mrs. reed} is alive ; and more sensible and collected than [she]_{156-mrs. reed} was . [The doctor]_{2531-the doctor} says [she]_{156-mrs. reed} may linger a week or two yet ; but [he]_{2531-the doctor} hardly thinks [she]_{156-mrs. reed} will finally recover . " "_{[2531-the doctor]} Has [she]_{156-mrs. reed} mentioned [me]_0-i lately ? " "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [She]_{156-mrs. reed} was talking of [you]_0-i only this morning , and wishing [you]_0-i would come , but [she]_{156-mrs. reed} is sleeping now , or was ten minutes ago , when [I]_0-i was up at [the house]_{4322-the house} . [She]_{156-mrs. reed} generally lies in a kind of lethargy all the afternoon , and wakes up about six or seven . Will [you]_0-i rest [yourself]_0-i here an hour , [Miss]_2533-miss , and then [I]_0-i will go up with [you]_0-i ? " [Robert]_240-robert here entered , and [Bessie]_195-bessie laid [[her]_195-bessie sleeping child]_{5988-her sleeping child} in the cradle and went to welcome [him]_{5988-her sleeping child} : afterwards [she]_195-bessie insisted on [my]_0-i taking off [my]_0-i bonnet and having some tea ; for [she]_195-bessie said [I]_0-i looked pale and tired . [I]_0-i was glad to accept [her]_195-bessie hospitality ; and [I]_0-i submitted to be relieved of [my]_0-i travelling garb just as passively as [I]_0-i used to let [her]_195-bessie undress [me]_0-i when [a child]_{4305-a child} . Old times crowded fast back on [me]_0-i as [I]_0-i watched [her]_195-bessie bustling about - setting out the tea - tray with [her]_195-bessie best china , cutting bread and butter , toasting a tea - cake , and , between whiles , giving [little Robert]_240-robert or [Jane]_146-jane an occasional tap or push , just as [she]_195-bessie used to give [me]_0-i in former days . [Bessie]_195-bessie had retained [her]_195-bessie quick temper as well as [her]_195-bessie light foot and good looks . Tea ready , [I]_0-i was going to approach the table ; but [she]_195-bessie desired [me]_0-i to sit still , quite in [her]_195-bessie old peremptory tones . [I]_0-i must be served at the fireside , [she]_195-bessie said ; and [she]_195-bessie placed before [me]_0-i a little round stand with [my]_0-i cup and a plate of toast , absolutely as [she]_195-bessie used to accommodate [me]_0-i with some privately purloined dainty on a nursery chair : and [I]_0-i smiled and obeyed [her]_195-bessie as in bygone days . [She]_195-bessie wanted to know if [I]_0-i was happy at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , and what sort of [a person]_{812-a person} [the mistress]_{5991-the mistress} was ; and when [I]_0-i told [her]_195-bessie there was only [a master]_{4710-a master} , whether [he]_{4710-a master} was [a nice gentleman]_{5993-a nice gentleman} , and if [I]_0-i liked [him]_{4710-a master} . [I]_0-i told [her]_195-bessie [he]_{4710-a master} was rather [an ugly man]_{1755-an ugly man} , but quite [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} ; and that [he]_{4710-a master} treated [me]_0-i kindly , and [I]_0-i was content . Then [I]_0-i went on to describe to [her]_195-bessie the gay company that had lately been staying at [the house]_{4322-the house} ; and to these details [Bessie]_195-bessie listened with interest : they were precisely of the kind [she]_195-bessie relished . In such conversation an hour was soon gone : [Bessie]_195-bessie restored to [me]_0-i [my]_0-i bonnet , c. , and , accompanied by [her]_195-bessie , [I]_0-i quitted [the lodge]_{4914-the lodge} for [the hall]_{608-the hall} . It was also accompanied by [her]_195-bessie that [I]_0-i had , nearly nine years ago , walked down the path [I]_0-i was now ascending . On a dark , misty , raw morning in January , [I]_0-i had left [a hostile roof]_{5999-a hostile roof} with a desperate and embittered heart - a sense of outlawry and almost of reprobation - to seek the chilly harbourage of [Lowood]_25-lowood : that bourne so far away and unexplored . [The same hostile roof]_{6000-the same hostile roof} now again rose before [me]_0-i : [my]_0-i prospects were doubtful yet ; and [I]_0-i had yet an aching heart . [I]_0-i still felt as [a wanderer on the face of [the earth]_{663-the earth}]_{6001-a wanderer on the face of the earth} ; but [I]_0-i experienced firmer trust in [myself]_0-i and [my]_0-i own powers , and less withering dread of oppression . The gaping wound of [my]_0-i wrongs , too , was now quite healed ; and the flame of resentment extinguished . "_[0-i] [You]_2534-you shall go into [the breakfast - room]_{534-the breakfast - room} first , " said [Bessie]_195-bessie , as [she]_195-bessie preceded [me]_0-i through [the hall]_{608-the hall} ; "_[0-i] [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} will be [there]_4426-there . " In another moment [I]_146-jane was within [that apartment]_{1706-that apartment} . There was every article of furniture looking just as it did on the morning [I]_146-jane was first introduced to [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} : the very rug [he]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} had stood upon still covered the hearth . Glancing at the bookcases , [I]_146-jane thought [I]_146-jane could distinguish the two volumes of Bewick 's British Birds occupying [their]_{4509-the young ladies} old place on the third shelf , and [Gulliver]_186-gulliver 's Travels and the Arabian Nights ranged just above . The inanimate objects were not changed ; but the living things had altered past recognition . [Two young ladies]_{6005-two young ladies} appeared before [me]_146-jane ; one very tall , almost as tall as [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} - [very thin too , with a sallow face and severe mien]_{6006-very thin too , with a sallow face and severe mien} . There was something ascetic in [her]_{297-miss ingram} look , which was augmented by the extreme plainness of a straight - skirted , black , stuff dress , a starched linen collar , hair combed away from the temples , and the nun - like ornament of a string of ebony beads and a crucifix . This [I]_146-jane felt sure was [Eliza]_158-eliza , though [I]_146-jane could trace little resemblance to [her]_158-eliza former self in that elongated and colourless visage . [The other]_{5683-the other} was as certainly [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} : but not the Georgiana [I]_146-jane remembered - [the slim and fairy - like girl of eleven]_{6008-the slim and fairy - like girl of eleven} . This was [a full - blown , very plump damsel , fair as waxwork , with handsome and regular features , languishing blue eyes , and ringleted yellow hair]_{6009-a full - blown , very plump damsel , fair as waxwork , with handsome and regular features , languishing blue eyes , and ringleted yellow hair} . The hue of [her]_{297-miss ingram} dress was black too ; but its fashion was so different from [[her]_{297-miss ingram} sister]_{4922-her sister} 's - so much more flowing and becoming - it looked as stylish as the other 's looked puritanical . In [each of [the sisters]_{2088-the sisters}]_{6011-each of the sisters} there was one trait of [the mother]_{542-the mother} - and only one ; [the thin and pallid elder daughter]_{6014-the thin and pallid elder daughter} had [[her]_{6014-the thin and pallid elder daughter} parent]_{6015-her parent} 's Cairngorm eye : [the blooming and luxuriant younger girl]_{6016-the blooming and luxuriant younger girl} had [her]_{6016-the blooming and luxuriant younger girl} contour of jaw and chin - perhaps a little softened , but still imparting an indescribable hardness to the countenance otherwise so voluptuous and buxom . [Both ladies]_{2215-both ladies} , as [I]_146-jane advanced , rose to welcome [me]_146-jane , and [both]_710-both addressed [me]_146-jane by the name of "_[146-jane] [Miss Eyre]_146-jane . " [Eliza]_158-eliza 's greeting was delivered in a short , abrupt voice , without a smile ; and then [she]_158-eliza sat down again , fixed [her]_158-eliza eyes on the fire , and seemed to forget [me]_146-jane . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} added to [her]_{160-georgiana} "_[146-jane] How d'ye do ? " several commonplaces about [my]_146-jane journey , the weather , and so on , uttered in rather a drawling tone : and accompanied by sundry side - glances that measured [me]_146-jane from head to foot - now traversing the folds of [my]_146-jane drab merino pelisse , and now lingering on the plain trimming of [my]_146-jane cottage bonnet . [Young ladies]_{699-young ladies} have a remarkable way of letting [you]_6020-you know that [they]_{699-young ladies} think [you]_6020-you a "_[146-jane] quiz " without actually saying the words . A certain superciliousness of look , coolness of manner , nonchalance of tone , express fully [their]_{699-young ladies} sentiments on the point , without committing [them]_{699-young ladies} by any positive rudeness in word or deed . A sneer , however , whether covert or open , had now no longer that power over [me]_{156-mrs. reed} it once possessed : as [I]_{156-mrs. reed} sat between [[my]_{156-mrs. reed} cousins]_{729-my cousins} , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} was surprised to find how easy [I]_{156-mrs. reed} felt under the total neglect of [the one]_{5908-the one} and the semi - sarcastic attentions of the other - [Eliza]_158-eliza did not mortify , nor [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} ruffle [me]_{156-mrs. reed} . The fact was , [I]_{156-mrs. reed} had other things to think about ; within the last few months feelings had been stirred in [me]_{156-mrs. reed} so much more potent than any [they]_{699-young ladies} could raise - pains and pleasures so much more acute and exquisite had been excited than any it was in [their]_{699-young ladies} power to inflict or bestow - that [their]_{699-young ladies} airs gave [me]_{156-mrs. reed} no concern either for good or bad . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} How is [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? " [I]_{156-mrs. reed} asked soon , looking calmly at [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} , who thought fit to bridle at the direct address , as if it were an unexpected liberty . "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ? Ah ! [mama]_4313-mama , [you]_4313-mama mean ; [she]_{156-mrs. reed} is extremely poorly : [I]_0-i doubt if [you]_4313-mama can see [her]_{156-mrs. reed} to - night . " "_[4313-mama] If , " said [I]_4313-mama , "_[4313-mama] [you]_4313-mama would just step [upstairs]_552-upstairs and tell [her]_{156-mrs. reed} [I]_0-i am come , [I]_0-i should be much obliged to [you]_4313-mama . " [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} almost started , and [she]_{160-georgiana} opened [her]_{160-georgiana} blue eyes wild and wide . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know [she]_{156-mrs. reed} had a particular wish to see [me]_0-i , " [I]_{156-mrs. reed} added , "_{[156-mrs. reed]} and [I]_0-i would not defer attending to [her]_{156-mrs. reed} desire longer than is absolutely necessary . " "_[260-mama] [Mama]_260-mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening , " remarked [Eliza]_158-eliza . [I]_260-mama soon rose , quietly took off [my]_260-mama bonnet and gloves , uninvited , and said [I]_260-mama would just step out to [Bessie]_195-bessie - who was , [I]_260-mama dared say , in [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} - and ask [her]_195-bessie to ascertain whether [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} was disposed to receive [me]_260-mama or not to - night . [I]_260-mama went , and having found [Bessie]_195-bessie and despatched [her]_195-bessie on [my]_260-mama errand , [I]_260-mama proceeded to take further measures . It had heretofore been [my]_260-mama habit always to shrink from arrogance : received as [I]_260-mama had been to - day , [I]_260-mama should , a year ago , have resolved to quit [Gateshead]_20-gateshead the very next morning ; now , it was disclosed to [me]_260-mama all at once that that would be a foolish plan . [I]_260-mama had taken a journey of a hundred miles to see [[my]_260-mama aunt]_{4392-my aunt} , and [I]_260-mama must stay with [her]_{4392-my aunt} till [she]_{4392-my aunt} was better - or dead : as to [[her]_{4392-my aunt} daughters]_{2066-her daughters} ' pride or folly , [I]_260-mama must put it on one side , make [myself]_260-mama independent of it . So [I]_260-mama addressed [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} ; asked [her]_{762-the housekeeper} to show [me]_260-mama [a room]_{4381-a room} , told [her]_{762-the housekeeper} [I]_260-mama should probably be [a visitor]_{4974-a visitor} [here]_4312-here for a week or two , had [my]_260-mama trunk conveyed to [[my]_260-mama chamber]_{1419-my chamber} , and followed [it]_{1419-my chamber} thither [myself]_260-mama : [I]_260-mama met [Bessie]_195-bessie on [the landing]_{6031-the landing} . "_[260-mama] [Missis]_178-missis is awake , " said [she]_{762-the housekeeper} ; "_[178-missis] [I]_0-i have told [her]_178-missis [you]_2540-you are [here]_4312-here : come and let [us]_2542-us see if [she]_178-missis will know [you]_2540-you . " [I]_178-missis did not need to be guided to [the well - known room]_{6032-the well - known room} , to which [I]_178-missis had so often been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days . [I]_178-missis hastened before [Bessie]_195-bessie ; [I]_178-missis softly opened the door : a shaded light stood on the table , for it was now getting dark . There was the great four - post bed with amber hangings as of old ; there the toilet - table , the armchair , and the footstool , at which [I]_178-missis had a hundred times been sentenced to kneel , to ask pardon for offences by [me]_178-missis uncommitted . [I]_178-missis looked into a certain corner near , half - expecting to see the slim outline of a once dreaded switch which used to lurk there , waiting to leap out imp - like and lace [my]_178-missis quivering palm or shrinking neck . [I]_178-missis approached the bed ; [I]_178-missis opened the curtains and leant over the high - piled pillows . Well did [I]_178-missis remember [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} 's face , and [I]_178-missis eagerly sought the familiar image . It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance and hushes the promptings of rage and aversion . [I]_178-missis had left [this woman]_{6033-this woman} in bitterness and hate , and [I]_178-missis came back to [her]_{6033-this woman} now with no other emotion than a sort of ruth for [her]_{6033-this woman} great sufferings , and a strong yearning to forget and forgive all injuries - to be reconciled and clasp hands in amity . The well - known face was there : stern , relentless as ever - there was that peculiar eye which nothing could melt , and the somewhat raised , imperious , despotic eyebrow . How often had it lowered on [me]_178-missis menace and hate ! and how the recollection of childhood 's terrors and sorrows revived as [I]_178-missis traced its harsh line now ! And yet [I]_178-missis stooped down and kissed [her]_{6033-this woman} : [she]_{6033-this woman} looked at [me]_178-missis . "_[178-missis] Is this [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? " [she]_{6033-this woman} said . "_[146-jane] Yes , [Aunt Reed]_{190-aunt reed} . How are [you]_{190-aunt reed} , [dear aunt]_{2543-dear aunt} ? " [I]_2544-i had once vowed that [I]_2544-i would never call [[her]_{6033-this woman} aunt]_{6034-her aunt} again : [I]_2544-i thought it no sin to forget and break that vow now . [My]_2544-i fingers had fastened on [her]_{6033-this woman} hand which lay outside the sheet : had [she]_{6033-this woman} pressed [mine]_2544-i kindly , [I]_2544-i should at that moment have experienced true pleasure . But unimpressionable natures are not so soon softened , nor are natural antipathies so readily eradicated . [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} took [her]_{6033-this woman} hand away , and , turning [her]_{6033-this woman} face rather from [me]_2544-i , [she]_{6033-this woman} remarked that the night was warm . Again [she]_{6033-this woman} regarded [me]_2544-i so icily , [I]_2544-i felt at once that [her]_{6033-this woman} opinion of [me]_2544-i - [her]_{6033-this woman} feeling towards [me]_2544-i - was unchanged and unchangeable . [I]_2544-i knew by [her]_{6033-this woman} stony eye - opaque to tenderness , indissoluble to tears - that [she]_{6033-this woman} was resolved to consider [me]_2544-i bad to the last ; because to believe [me]_2544-i good would give [her]_{6033-this woman} no generous pleasure : only a sense of mortification . [I]_2544-i felt pain , and then [I]_2544-i felt ire ; and then [I]_2544-i felt a determination to subdue [her]_{6033-this woman} - to be [[her]_{6033-this woman} mistress]_{6035-her mistress} in spite both of [her]_{6033-this woman} nature and [her]_{6033-this woman} will . [My]_2544-i tears had risen , just as in childhood : [I]_2544-i ordered them back to [their]_2544-i source . [I]_2544-i brought a chair to the bed - head : [I]_2544-i sat down and leaned over the pillow . "_[2544-i] [You]_2544-i sent for [me]_0-i , " [I]_2544-i said , "_[2544-i] and [I]_0-i am here ; and it is [my]_0-i intention to stay till [I]_0-i see how [you]_2544-i get on . " "_[0-i] Oh , of course ! [You]_2544-i have seen [[my]_0-i daughters]_{2545-my daughters} ? " "_[2544-i] Yes . " "_[2544-i] Well , [you]_2544-i may tell [them]_{2545-my daughters} [I]_0-i wish [you]_2544-i to stay till [I]_0-i can talk some things over with [you]_2544-i [I]_0-i have on [my]_0-i mind : to - night it is too late , and [I]_0-i have a difficulty in recalling [them]_{2545-my daughters} . But there was something [I]_0-i wished to say - let [me]_0-i see - " The wandering look and changed utterance told what wreck had taken place in [her]_146-jane once vigorous frame . Turning restlessly , [she]_146-jane drew the bedclothes round [her]_146-jane ; [my]_0-i elbow , resting on a corner of the quilt , fixed it down : [she]_146-jane was at once irritated . "_[0-i] Sit up ! " said [she]_146-jane ; "_[0-i] do n't annoy [me]_0-i with holding the clothes fast . Are [you]_2546-you [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? " "_[2546-you] [I]_0-i am [Jane Eyre]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i have had more trouble with [that child]_{2547-that child} than [any one]_{591-any one} would believe . Such a burden to be left on [my]_0-i hands - and so much annoyance as [she]_{2547-that child} caused [me]_0-i , daily and hourly , with [her]_{2547-that child} incomprehensible disposition , and [her]_{2547-that child} sudden starts of temper , and [her]_{2547-that child} continual , unnatural watchings of [one]_4415-one 's movements ! [I]_0-i declare [she]_{2547-that child} talked to [me]_0-i once like something mad , or like [a fiend]_{2550-a fiend} - [no child]_{2551-no child} ever spoke or looked as [she]_{2547-that child} did ; [I]_0-i was glad to get [her]_{2547-that child} away from [the house]_{4322-the house} . What did [they]_2553-they do with [her]_{2547-that child} at [Lowood]_25-lowood ? The fever broke out there , and [many of [the pupils]_{4566-the pupils}]_{2554-many of the pupils} died . [She]_{2547-that child} , however , did not die : but [I]_0-i said [she]_{2547-that child} did - [I]_0-i wish [she]_{2547-that child} had died ! " "_[0-i] A strange wish , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} ; why do [you]_{156-mrs. reed} hate [her]_{2547-that child} so ? " "_{[156-mrs. reed]} [I]_0-i had a dislike to [[her]_{2547-that child} mother]_{767-her mother} always ; for [she]_{2547-that child} was [[my]_0-i husband 's only sister]_{2557-my husband 's only sister} , and a great favourite with [him]_2558-he : [he]_2558-he opposed [the family]_{5088-the family} 's disowning [her]_{2547-that child} when [she]_{2547-that child} made [her]_{2547-that child} low marriage ; and when news came of [her]_{2547-that child} death , [he]_2558-he wept like [a simpleton]_{2560-a simpleton} . [He]_2558-he would send for [the baby]_{2561-the baby} ; though [I]_0-i entreated [him]_2558-he rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its maintenance . [I]_0-i hated it the first time [I]_0-i set [my]_0-i eyes on it - [a sickly , whining , pining thing]_{2562-a sickly , whining , pining thing} ! [It]_{2561-the baby} would wail in its cradle all night long - not screaming heartily like [any other child]_{2563-any other child} , but whimpering and moaning . [Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} pitied it ; and [he]_2558-he used to nurse [it]_{2561-the baby} and notice [it]_{2561-the baby} as if it had been [his]_2558-he own : more , indeed , than [he]_2558-he ever noticed [his]_2558-he own at that age . [He]_2558-he would try to make [[my]_0-i children]_{4805-my children} friendly to [the little beggar]_{2565-the little beggar} : [the darlings]_{2566-the darlings} could not bear it , and [he]_2558-he was angry with [them]_{2566-the darlings} when [they]_{2566-the darlings} showed [their]_{2566-the darlings} dislike . In [his]_2558-he last illness , [he]_2558-he had it brought continually to [his]_2558-he bedside ; and but an hour before [he]_2558-he died , [he]_2558-he bound [me]_0-i by vow to keep the creature . [I]_0-i would as soon have been charged with [a pauper brat out of [a workhouse]_{2568-a workhouse}]_{2567-a pauper brat out of a workhouse} : but [he]_{2567-a pauper brat out of a workhouse} was weak , naturally weak . [John]_159-john does not at all resemble [[his]_159-john father]_{5218-his father} , and [I]_0-i am glad of it : [John]_159-john is like [me]_0-i and like [[my]_0-i brothers]_{2570-my brothers} - [he]_159-john is quite [a Gibson]_{2571-a gibson} . Oh , [I]_0-i wish [he]_159-john would cease tormenting [me]_0-i with letters for money ? [I]_0-i have no more money to give [him]_159-john : [we]_2572-we are getting poor . [I]_0-i must send away half [the servants]_{546-the servants} and shut up part of [the house]_{4322-the house} ; or let it off . [I]_0-i can never submit to do that - yet how are [we]_2572-we to get on ? Two - thirds of [my]_0-i income goes in paying the interest of mortgages . [John]_159-john gambles dreadfully , and always loses - [poor boy]_{2575-poor boy} ! [He]_159-john is beset by sharpers : [John]_159-john is sunk and degraded - [his]_159-john look is frightful - [I]_0-i feel ashamed for [him]_159-john when [I]_0-i see [him]_159-john . " [She]_2576-she was getting much excited . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i had better leave [her]_2576-she now , " said [I]_0-i to [Bessie]_195-bessie , who stood on the other side of the bed . "_[0-i] Perhaps [you]_0-i had , [Miss]_2577-miss : but [she]_2576-she often talks in this way towards night - in the morning [she]_2576-she is calmer . " [I]_2576-she rose . "_[2576-she] Stop ! " exclaimed [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , "_[159-john] there is another thing [I]_0-i wished to say . [He]_159-john threatens [me]_0-i - [he]_159-john continually threatens [me]_0-i with [his]_159-john own death , or [mine]_0-i : and [I]_0-i dream sometimes that [I]_0-i see [him]_159-john laid out with a great wound in [his]_159-john throat , or with a swollen and blackened face . [I]_0-i am come to a strange pass : [I]_0-i have heavy troubles . What is to be done ? How is the money to be had ? " [Bessie]_195-bessie now endeavoured to persuade [her]_195-bessie to take a sedative draught : [she]_195-bessie succeeded with difficulty . Soon after , [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} grew more composed , and sank into a dozing state . [I]_2578-i then left [her]_195-bessie . More than ten days elapsed before [I]_2578-i had again any conversation with [her]_195-bessie . [She]_195-bessie continued either delirious or lethargic ; and [the doctor]_{2531-the doctor} forbade everything which could painfully excite [her]_195-bessie . Meantime , [I]_2578-i got on as well as [I]_2578-i could with [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} and [Eliza]_158-eliza . [They]_6037-they were very cold , indeed , at first . [Eliza]_158-eliza would sit half the day sewing , reading , or writing , and scarcely utter a word either to [me]_2578-i or [[her]_158-eliza sister]_{4922-her sister} . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} would chatter nonsense to [her]_{160-georgiana} canary bird by the hour , and take no notice of [me]_2578-i . But [I]_2578-i was determined not to seem at a loss for occupation or amusement : [I]_2578-i had brought [my]_2578-i drawing materials with [me]_2578-i , and [they]_6037-they served [me]_2578-i for both . Provided with a case of pencils , and some sheets of paper , [I]_2578-i used to take a seat apart from them , near the window , and busy [myself]_2578-i in sketching fancy vignettes , representing any scene that happened momentarily to shape itself in the ever - shifting kaleidoscope of imagination : a glimpse of [sea between two rocks]_{6039-sea between two rocks} ; the rising moon , and [a ship]_{6040-a ship} crossing its disk ; a group of reeds and water - flags , and a naiad 's head , crowned with lotus - flowers , rising out of them ; an elf sitting in a hedge - sparrow 's nest , under a wreath of hawthorn - bloom . One morning [I]_2578-i fell to sketching a face : what sort of a face it was to be , [I]_2578-i did not care or know . [I]_2578-i took a soft black pencil , gave it a broad point , and worked away . Soon [I]_2578-i had traced on the paper a broad and prominent forehead and a square lower outline of visage : that contour gave [me]_2578-i pleasure ; [my]_2578-i fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features . Strongly - marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced under that brow ; then followed , naturally , a well - defined nose , with a straight ridge and full nostrils ; then a flexible- looking mouth , by no means narrow ; then a firm chin , with a decided cleft down the middle of it : of course , some black whiskers were wanted , and some jetty hair , tufted on the temples , and waved above the forehead . Now for the eyes : [I]_2578-i had left them to the last , because they required the most careful working . [I]_2578-i drew them large ; [I]_2578-i shaped them well : the eyelashes [I]_2578-i traced long and sombre ; the irids lustrous and large . "_[2578-i] Good ! but not quite the thing , " [I]_2578-i thought , as [I]_2578-i surveyed the effect : "_[2578-i] [they]_2578-i want more force and spirit ; " and [I]_2578-i wrought the shades blacker , that the lights might flash more brilliantly - a happy touch or two secured success . There , [I]_2578-i had [a friend]_{5395-a friend} 's face under [my]_2578-i gaze ; and what did it signify that [those young ladies]_{6042-those young ladies} turned [their]_{6042-those young ladies} backs on [me]_2578-i ? [I]_2578-i looked at it ; [I]_2578-i smiled at the speaking likeness : [I]_2578-i was absorbed and content . "_[2578-i] Is that a portrait of [some one [you]_2580-you know]_{2579-some one you know} ? " asked [Eliza]_158-eliza , who had approached [me]_{1755-an ugly man} unnoticed . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} responded that it was merely a fancy head , and hurried it beneath the other sheets . Of course , [I]_{1755-an ugly man} lied : it was , in fact , a very faithful representation of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . But what was that to [her]_158-eliza , or to any one but [myself]_{1755-an ugly man} ? [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} also advanced to look . The other drawings pleased [her]_{160-georgiana} much , but [she]_{160-georgiana} called that "_{[1755-an ugly man]} [an ugly man]_{1755-an ugly man} . " [They]_{6042-those young ladies} both seemed surprised at [my]_{1755-an ugly man} skill . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} offered to sketch [their]_{6042-those young ladies} portraits ; and [each]_898-each , in turn , sat for a pencil outline . Then [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} produced [her]_{160-georgiana} album . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} promised to contribute a water - colour drawing : this put [her]_158-eliza at once into good humour . [She]_158-eliza proposed a walk in [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} . Before [we]_6045-we had been out two hours , [we]_6045-we were deep in a confidential conversation : [she]_158-eliza had favoured [me]_{1755-an ugly man} with a description of the brilliant winter [she]_158-eliza had spent in [London]_31-london two seasons ago - of the admiration [she]_158-eliza had there excited - the attention [she]_158-eliza had received ; and [I]_{1755-an ugly man} even got hints of the titled conquest [she]_158-eliza had made . In the course of the afternoon and evening these hints were enlarged on : various soft conversations were reported , and sentimental scenes represented ; and , in short , a volume of a novel of fashionable life was that day improvised by [her]_158-eliza for [my]_{1755-an ugly man} benefit . The communications were renewed from day to day : they always ran on the same theme - [herself]_158-eliza , [her]_158-eliza loves , and woes . It was strange [she]_158-eliza never once adverted either to [[her]_158-eliza mother]_{767-her mother} 's illness , or [[her]_158-eliza brother]_{6047-her brother} 's death , or the present gloomy state of the family prospects . [Her]_158-eliza mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety , and aspirations after dissipations to come . [She]_158-eliza passed about five minutes each day in [[[her]_158-eliza mother]_{767-her mother} 's sick - room]_{6049-her mother 's sick - room} , and no more . [Eliza]_158-eliza still spoke little : [she]_158-eliza had evidently no time to talk . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} never saw [a busier person]_{6050-a busier person} than [she]_158-eliza seemed to be ; yet it was difficult to say what [she]_158-eliza did : or rather , to discover any result of [her]_158-eliza diligence . [She]_158-eliza had an alarm to call [her]_158-eliza up early . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} know not how [she]_158-eliza occupied [herself]_158-eliza before breakfast , but after that meal [she]_158-eliza divided [her]_158-eliza time into regular portions , and each hour had its allotted task . Three times a day [she]_158-eliza studied a little book , which [I]_{1755-an ugly man} found , on inspection , was a Common Prayer Book . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} asked [her]_158-eliza once what was the great attraction of that volume , and [she]_158-eliza said , "_{[1755-an ugly man]} the Rubric . " Three hours [she]_158-eliza gave to stitching , with gold thread , the border of a square crimson cloth , almost large enough for a carpet . In answer to [my]_{1755-an ugly man} inquiries after the use of this article , [she]_158-eliza informed [me]_{1755-an ugly man} it was a covering for the altar of [a new church lately erected near [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{6051-a new church lately erected near gateshead} . Two hours [she]_158-eliza devoted to [her]_158-eliza diary ; two to working by [herself]_158-eliza in [the kitchen - garden]_{4674-the kitchen - garden} ; and one to the regulation of [her]_158-eliza accounts . [She]_158-eliza seemed to want no company ; no conversation . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} believe [she]_158-eliza was happy in [her]_158-eliza way : this routine sufficed for [her]_158-eliza ; and nothing annoyed [her]_158-eliza so much as the occurrence of any incident which forced [her]_158-eliza to vary its clockwork regularity . [She]_158-eliza told [me]_{1755-an ugly man} one evening , when more disposed to be communicative than usual , that [John]_159-john 's conduct , and the threatened ruin of [the family]_{5088-the family} , had been a source of profound affliction to [her]_158-eliza : but [she]_158-eliza had now , [she]_158-eliza said , settled [her]_158-eliza mind , and formed [her]_158-eliza resolution . [Her]_158-eliza own fortune [she]_158-eliza had taken care to secure ; and when [[her]_158-eliza mother]_{767-her mother} died - and it was wholly improbable , [she]_158-eliza tranquilly remarked , that [she]_158-eliza should either recover or linger long - [she]_158-eliza would execute a long - cherished project : seek a retirement where punctual habits would be permanently secured from disturbance , and place safe barriers between [herself]_158-eliza and [a frivolous world]_{6055-a frivolous world} . [I]_{1755-an ugly man} asked if [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} would accompany [her]_158-eliza . "_{[1755-an ugly man]} Of course not . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} and [she]_{160-georgiana} had nothing in common : [they]_2582-they never had had . [She]_{160-georgiana} would not be burdened with [[her]_{160-georgiana} society]_{2583-her society} for any consideration . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} should take [her]_{160-georgiana} own course ; and [she]_{160-georgiana} , [Eliza]_158-eliza , would take [hers]_{160-georgiana} . " [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} , when not unburdening [her]_{160-georgiana} heart to [me]_{160-georgiana} , spent most of [her]_{160-georgiana} time in lying on the sofa , fretting about the dulness of [the house]_{4322-the house} , and wishing over and over again that [[her]_{160-georgiana} aunt]_{6034-her aunt} [Gibson]_356-gibson would send [her]_{160-georgiana} an invitation up to [town]_5534-town . "_{[160-georgiana]} It would be so much better , " [she]_{160-georgiana} said , "_{[160-georgiana]} if [she]_{160-georgiana} could only get out of the way for a month or two , till all was over . " [I]_{160-georgiana} did not ask what [she]_{160-georgiana} meant by "_{[160-georgiana]} all being over , " but [I]_{160-georgiana} suppose [she]_{160-georgiana} referred to the expected decease of [[her]_{160-georgiana} mother]_{767-her mother} and the gloomy sequel of funeral rites . [Eliza]_158-eliza generally took no more notice of [[her]_158-eliza sister]_{4922-her sister} 's indolence and complaints than if [no such murmuring , lounging object]_{6061-no such murmuring , lounging object} had been before [her]_158-eliza . One day , however , as [she]_{160-georgiana} put away [her]_{160-georgiana} account - book and unfolded [her]_{160-georgiana} embroidery , [she]_{160-georgiana} suddenly took [her]_{160-georgiana} up thus - "_{[160-georgiana]} [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} , a more vain and absurd animal than [you]_2584-you was certainly never allowed to cumber [the earth]_{663-the earth} . [You]_2584-you had no right to be born , for [you]_2584-you make no use of life . Instead of living for , in , and with [yourself]_2584-you , as [a reasonable being]_{2586-a reasonable being} ought , [you]_2584-you seek only to fasten [your]_2584-you feebleness on [some other person]_{2587-some other person} 's strength : if [no one]_{593-no one} can be found willing to burden [her]_2589-her or [himself]_2590-himself with such a fat , weak , puffy , useless thing , [you]_2584-you cry out that [you]_2584-you are ill - treated , neglected , miserable . Then , too , existence for [you]_2584-you must be a scene of continual change and excitement , or else [the world]_{484-the world} is [a dungeon]_{2592-a dungeon} : [you]_2584-you must be admired , [you]_2584-you must be courted , [you]_2584-you must be flattered - [you]_2584-you must have music , dancing , and society - or [you]_2584-you languish , [you]_2584-you die away . Have [you]_2584-you no sense to devise a system which will make [you]_2584-you independent of all efforts , and all wills , but [your]_2584-you own ? Take one day ; share it into sections ; to each section apportion its task : leave [no stray]_{2593-no stray} unemployed quarters of an hour , ten minutes , five minutes - include all ; do each piece of business in its turn with method , with rigid regularity . The day will close almost before [you]_2584-you are aware it has begun ; and [you]_2584-you are indebted to [no one]_{593-no one} for helping [you]_2584-you to get rid of one vacant moment : [you]_2584-you have had to seek [no one]_{593-no one} 's company , conversation , sympathy , forbearance ; [you]_2584-you have lived , in short , as [an independent being]_{2596-an independent being} ought to do . Take this advice : the first and last [I]_0-i shall offer [you]_2584-you ; then [you]_2584-you will not want [me]_0-i or [any one else]_{4384-any one else} , happen what may . Neglect it - go on as heretofore , craving , whining , and idling - and suffer the results of [your]_2584-you idiocy , however bad and insuperable they may be . [I]_0-i tell [you]_2584-you this plainly ; and listen : for though [I]_0-i shall no more repeat what [I]_0-i am now about to say , [I]_0-i shall steadily act on it . After [[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} 's death , [I]_0-i wash [my]_0-i hands of [you]_2584-you : from the day [her]_{612-my mother} coffin is carried to [the vault in [Gateshead Church]_{19-gateshead church}]_{2599-the vault in gateshead church} , [you]_2584-you and [I]_0-i will be as separate as if [we]_2600-we had never known [each other]_{724-each other} . [You]_2584-you need not think that because [we]_2600-we chanced to be born of [the same parents]_{2602-the same parents} , [I]_0-i shall suffer [you]_2584-you to fasten [me]_0-i down by even the feeblest claim : [I]_0-i can tell [you]_2584-you this - if [the whole human race]_{2603-the whole human race} , [ourselves]_2600-we excepted , were swept away , and [we]_2600-we two stood alone on [the earth]_{663-the earth} , [I]_0-i would leave [you]_2584-you in [the old world]_{2605-the old world} , and betake [myself]_0-i to the new . " [She]_2584-you closed [her]_2584-you lips . "_[2584-you] [You]_2584-you might have spared [yourself]_2584-you the trouble of delivering that tirade , " answered [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} . "_{[4413-everybody]} [Everybody]_{4413-everybody} knows [you]_2584-you are the most selfish , heartless creature in existence : and [I]_0-i know [your]_2584-you spiteful hatred towards [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i have had a specimen of it before in the trick [you]_2584-you played [me]_0-i about [Lord Edwin Vere]_{357-lord edwin vere} : [you]_2584-you could not bear [me]_0-i to be raised above [you]_2584-you , to have a title , to be received into circles where [you]_2584-you dare not show [your]_2584-you face , and so [you]_2584-you acted [the spy and informer]_{2607-the spy and informer} , and ruined [my]_0-i prospects for ever . " [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} took out [her]_{160-georgiana} handkerchief and blew [her]_{160-georgiana} nose for an hour afterwards ; [Eliza]_158-eliza sat cold , impassable , and assiduously industrious . True , generous feeling is made small account of by some , but here were two natures rendered , the one intolerably acrid , the other despicably savourless for the want of it . Feeling without judgment is a washy draught indeed ; but judgment untempered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel for human deglutition . It was a wet and windy afternoon : [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} had fallen asleep on the sofa over the perusal of a novel ; [Eliza]_158-eliza was gone to attend a saint's - day service at [the new church]_{6062-the new church} - for in matters of religion [she]_158-eliza was [a rigid formalist]_{6063-a rigid formalist} : no weather ever prevented the punctual discharge of what [she]_158-eliza considered [her]_158-eliza devotional duties ; fair or foul , [she]_158-eliza went to [church]_949-church thrice every Sunday , and as often on week - days as there were prayers . [I]_2584-you bethought [myself]_2584-you to go [upstairs]_552-upstairs and see how [the dying woman]_{6066-the dying woman} sped , who lay there almost unheeded : [the very servants]_{6067-the very servants} paid [her]_{6066-the dying woman} but a remittent attention : [the hired nurse , being little looked after]_{6068-the hired nurse , being little looked after} , would slip out of [the room]_{535-the room} whenever [she]_{6066-the dying woman} could . [Bessie]_195-bessie was faithful ; but [she]_195-bessie had [[her]_195-bessie own family]_{6070-her own family} to mind , and could only come occasionally to [the hall]_{608-the hall} . [I]_2584-you found [the sick - room]_{1176-the sick - room} unwatched , as [I]_2584-you had expected : [no nurse]_{6073-no nurse} was there ; [the patient]_{2345-the patient} lay still , and seemingly lethargic ; [her]_195-bessie livid face sunk in the pillows : the fire was dying in the grate . [I]_2584-you renewed the fuel , re - arranged the bedclothes , gazed awhile on [her]_195-bessie who could not now gaze on [me]_2584-you , and then [I]_2584-you moved away to the window . The rain beat strongly against the panes , the wind blew tempestuously : "_[2584-you] [One]_358-one lies there , " [I]_358-one thought , "_[358-one] who will soon be beyond the war of earthly elements . Whither will that spirit - now struggling to quit its material tenement - flit when at length released ? " In pondering the great mystery , [I]_0-i thought of [Helen Burns]_213-helen , recalled [her]_213-helen dying words - [her]_213-helen faith - [her]_213-helen doctrine of the equality of [disembodied souls]_{6075-disembodied souls} . [I]_0-i was still listening in thought to [her]_213-helen well - remembered tones - still picturing [her]_213-helen pale and spiritual aspect , [her]_213-helen wasted face and sublime gaze , as [she]_213-helen lay on [her]_213-helen placid deathbed , and whispered [her]_213-helen longing to be restored to [her]_213-helen divine [Father]_359-father 's bosom - when a feeble voice murmured from the couch behind : "_[0-i] Who is that ? " [I]_0-i knew [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} had not spoken for days : was [she]_{156-mrs. reed} reviving ? [I]_0-i went up to [her]_{156-mrs. reed} . "_[0-i] It is [I]_0-i , [Aunt Reed]_{190-aunt reed} . " "_[0-i] Who - [I]_0-i ? " was [her]_{156-mrs. reed} answer . "_[0-i] Who are [you]_0-i ? " looking at [me]_0-i with surprise and a sort of alarm , but still not wildly . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are quite a stranger to [me]_0-i - where is [Bessie]_195-bessie ? " "_[195-bessie] [She]_195-bessie is at [the lodge]_{4914-the lodge} , [aunt]_4489-aunt . " "_[2610-aunt] [Aunt]_2610-aunt , " [she]_{156-mrs. reed} repeated . "_[2610-aunt] Who calls [me]_0-i [aunt]_4489-aunt ? [You]_0-i are not [one of [the Gibsons]_{2613-the gibsons}]_{2612-one of the gibsons} ; and yet [I]_0-i know [you]_0-i - that face , and the eyes and forehead , are quiet familiar to [me]_0-i : [you]_0-i are like - why , [you]_0-i are like [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ! " [I]_0-i said nothing : [I]_0-i was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring [my]_0-i identity . "_[0-i] Yet , " said [she]_146-jane , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am afraid it is a mistake : [my]_0-i thoughts deceive [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i wished to see [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , and [I]_0-i fancy a likeness where none exists : besides , in eight years [she]_146-jane must be so changed . " [I]_146-jane now gently assured [her]_146-jane that [I]_146-jane was [the person [she]_146-jane supposed and desired [me]_146-jane to be]_{6076-the person she supposed and desired me to be} : and seeing that [I]_146-jane was understood , and that [her]_146-jane senses were quite collected , [I]_146-jane explained how [Bessie]_195-bessie had sent [[her]_195-bessie husband]_{620-her husband} to fetch [me]_146-jane from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i am very ill , [I]_0-i know , " [she]_146-jane said ere long . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was trying to turn [myself]_0-i a few minutes since , and find [I]_0-i can not move a limb . It is as well [I]_0-i should ease [my]_0-i mind before [I]_0-i die : what [we]_2614-we think little of in health , burdens [us]_2614-we at such an hour as the present is to [me]_0-i . Is [the nurse]_{510-the nurse} [here]_4312-here ? or is there [no one in [the room]_{535-the room}]_{2617-no one in the room} but [you]_2619-she ? " [I]_{510-the nurse} assured [her]_2619-she [we]_2614-we were alone . "_{[510-the nurse]} Well , [I]_0-i have twice done [you]_2619-she a wrong which [I]_0-i regret now . [One]_4415-one was in breaking the promise which [I]_0-i gave [[my]_0-i husband]_{5014-my husband} to bring [you]_2619-she up as [[my]_0-i own child]_{2622-my own child} ; the other - " [she]_2619-she stopped . "_[4415-one] After all , it is of no great importance , perhaps , " [she]_2619-she murmured to [herself]_2619-she : "_[4415-one] and then [I]_0-i may get better ; and to humble [myself]_0-i so to [her]_2623-her is painful . " [She]_2619-she made an effort to alter [her]_2619-she position , but failed : [her]_2619-she face changed ; [she]_2619-she seemed to experience some inward sensation - the precursor , perhaps , of the last pang . "_[2623-her] Well , [I]_0-i must get it over . Eternity is before [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i had better tell [her]_2623-her . - Go to [my]_0-i dressing - case , open it , and take out a letter [you]_2619-she will see there . " [I]_4457-madam obeyed [her]_2619-she directions . "_[4457-madam] Read the letter , " [she]_2619-she said . It was short , and thus conceived:- "_[4457-madam] [Madam]_4457-madam , - Will [you]_4457-madam have the goodness to send [me]_0-i the address of [[my]_0-i niece]_{2625-my niece} , [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , and to tell [me]_0-i how [she]_146-jane is ? It is [my]_0-i intention to write shortly and desire [her]_146-jane to come to [me]_0-i at [Madeira]_245-madeira . [Providence]_{272-providence} has blessed [my]_0-i endeavours to secure a competency ; and as [I]_0-i am unmarried and childless , [I]_0-i wish to adopt [her]_146-jane during [my]_0-i life , and bequeath [her]_146-jane at [my]_0-i death whatever [I]_0-i may have to leave . - [I]_0-i am , [Madam]_4457-madam , c. , c. , " [JOHN EYRE]_360-john , [Madeira]_245-madeira . "_[4457-madam] It was dated three years back . " Why did [I]_0-i never hear of this ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " Because [I]_0-i disliked [you]_146-jane too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting [you]_146-jane to prosperity . [I]_0-i could not forget [your]_146-jane conduct to [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane - the fury with which [you]_146-jane once turned on [me]_0-i ; the tone in which [you]_146-jane declared [you]_146-jane abhorred [me]_0-i the worst of anybody in [the world]_{484-the world} ; the unchildlike look and voice with which [you]_146-jane affirmed that the very thought of [me]_0-i made [you]_146-jane sick , and asserted that [I]_0-i had treated [you]_146-jane with miserable cruelty . [I]_0-i could not forget [my]_0-i own sensations when [you]_146-jane thus started up and poured out the venom of [your]_146-jane mind : [I]_0-i felt fear as if an animal that [I]_0-i had struck or pushed had looked up at [me]_0-i with human eyes and cursed [me]_0-i in [a man]_{4429-a man} 's voice . - Bring [me]_0-i some water ! Oh , make haste ! "_[0-i] " [Dear Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , as [I]_0-i offered [her]_2627-you the draught [she]_2627-you required , " think no more of all this , let it pass away from [your]_2627-you mind . Forgive [me]_0-i for [my]_0-i passionate language : [I]_0-i was [a child]_{4305-a child} then ; eight , nine years have passed since that day . "_[0-i] [She]_2627-you heeded nothing of what [I]_0-i said ; but when [she]_2627-you had tasted the water and drawn breath , [she]_2627-you went on thus - " [I]_2627-you tell [you]_2627-you [I]_2627-you could not forget it ; and [I]_2627-you took [my]_2627-you revenge : for [you]_2627-you to be adopted by [[your]_2627-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} , and placed in a state of ease and comfort , was what [I]_2627-you could not endure . [I]_2627-you wrote to [him]_{6081-your uncle} ; [I]_2627-you said [I]_2627-you was sorry for [his]_{6081-your uncle} disappointment , but [Jane Eyre]_146-jane was dead : [she]_146-jane had died of typhus fever at [Lowood]_25-lowood . Now act as [you]_2627-you please : write and contradict [my]_2627-you assertion - expose [my]_2627-you falsehood as soon as [you]_2627-you like . [You]_2627-you were born , [I]_2627-you think , to be [my]_2627-you torment : [my]_2627-you last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which , but for [you]_2627-you , [I]_2627-you should never have been tempted to commit . "_[2627-you] " If [you]_2627-you could but be persuaded to think no more of it , [aunt]_4489-aunt , and to regard [me]_2628-her with kindness and forgiveness "_[2628-her] " [You]_2627-you have a very bad disposition , "_[2628-her] said [she]_2628-her , " and one to this day [I]_2628-her feel it impossible to understand : how for nine years [you]_2627-you could be patient and quiescent under any treatment , and in the tenth break out all fire and violence , [I]_2628-her can never comprehend . "_[2628-her] " [My]_0-i disposition is not so bad as [you]_2627-you think : [I]_0-i am passionate , but not vindictive . Many a time , as [a little child]_{5950-a little child} , [I]_0-i should have been glad to love [you]_2627-you if [you]_2627-you would have let [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i long earnestly to be reconciled to [you]_2627-you now : kiss [me]_0-i , [aunt]_4489-aunt . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i approached [my]_0-i cheek to [her]_2628-her lips : [she]_2628-her would not touch it . [She]_2628-her said [I]_0-i oppressed [her]_2628-her by leaning over the bed , and again demanded water . As [I]_0-i laid [her]_2628-her down - for [I]_0-i raised [her]_2628-her and supported [her]_2628-her on [my]_0-i arm while [she]_2628-her drank - [I]_0-i covered [her]_2628-her ice - cold and clammy hand with [mine]_0-i : the feeble fingers shrank from [my]_0-i touch - the glazing eyes shunned [my]_0-i gaze . " Love [me]_0-i , then , or hate [me]_0-i , as [you]_2628-her will , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said at last , " [you]_2628-her have [my]_0-i full and free forgiveness : ask now for [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's , and be at peace . "_[0-i] [Poor , suffering woman]_{2629-poor , suffering woman} ! it was too late for [her]_2628-her to make now the effort to change [her]_2628-her habitual frame of mind : living , [she]_2628-her had ever hated [me]_0-i - dying , [she]_2628-her must hate [me]_0-i still . [The nurse]_{510-the nurse} now entered , and [Bessie]_195-bessie followed . [I]_0-i yet lingered half - an - hour longer , hoping to see some sign of amity : but [she]_2628-her gave none . [She]_2628-her was fast relapsing into stupor ; nor did [her]_2628-her mind again rally : at twelve o'clock that night [she]_2628-her died . [I]_0-i was not present to close [her]_2628-her eyes , nor were either of [[her]_2628-her daughters]_{2066-her daughters} . [They]_2632-they came to tell [us]_2633-us the next morning that all was over . [She]_2628-her was by that time laid out . [Eliza]_158-eliza and [I]_0-i went to look at [her]_2628-her : [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} , who had burst out into loud weeping , said [she]_{160-georgiana} dared not go . There was stretched [Sarah Reed]_183-sarah 's once robust and active frame , rigid and still : [her]_2628-her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid ; [her]_2628-her brow and strong traits wore yet the impress of [her]_2628-her inexorable soul . A strange and solemn object was that corpse to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i gazed on it with gloom and pain : nothing soft , nothing sweet , nothing pitying , or hopeful , or subduing did it inspire ; only a grating anguish for [HER]_2628-her woes - not [MY]_0-i loss - and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a form . [Eliza]_158-eliza surveyed [[her]_158-eliza parent]_{6015-her parent} calmly . After a silence of some minutes [she]_158-eliza observed - " With [her]_158-eliza constitution [she]_158-eliza should have lived to a good old age : [her]_158-eliza life was shortened by trouble . "_[158-eliza] And then a spasm constricted [her]_158-eliza mouth for an instant : as it passed away [she]_158-eliza turned and left [the room]_{535-the room} , and so did [I.]_0-i Neither of [us]_2636-us had dropt a tear . CHAPTER XXII [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had given [me]_0-i but one week 's leave of absence : yet a month elapsed before [I]_0-i quitted [Gateshead]_20-gateshead . [I]_0-i wished to leave immediately after the funeral , but [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} entreated [me]_0-i to stay till [she]_{160-georgiana} could get off to [London]_31-london , whither [she]_{160-georgiana} was now at last invited by [[her]_{160-georgiana} uncle]_{2637-her uncle} , [Mr. Gibson]_356-gibson , who had come down to direct [[his]_356-gibson sister]_{5987-his sister} 's interment and settle the family affairs . [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} said [she]_{160-georgiana} dreaded being left alone with [Eliza]_158-eliza ; from [her]_{160-georgiana} [she]_{160-georgiana} got neither sympathy in [her]_{160-georgiana} dejection , support in [her]_{160-georgiana} fears , nor aid in [her]_{160-georgiana} preparations ; so [I]_0-i bore with [her]_{160-georgiana} feeble - minded wailings and selfish lamentations as well as [I]_0-i could , and did [my]_0-i best in sewing for [her]_{160-georgiana} and packing [her]_{160-georgiana} dresses . It is true , that while [I]_0-i worked , [she]_{160-georgiana} would idle ; and [I]_0-i thought to [myself]_0-i , " If [you]_{160-georgiana} and [I]_{160-georgiana} were destined to live always together , [cousin]_6085-cousin , [we]_6086-we would commence matters on a different footing . [I]_{160-georgiana} should not settle tamely down into being [the forbearing party]_{6087-the forbearing party} ; [I]_{160-georgiana} should assign [you]_{160-georgiana} [your]_{160-georgiana} share of labour , and compel [you]_{160-georgiana} to accomplish it , or else it should be left undone : [I]_{160-georgiana} should insist , also , on [your]_{160-georgiana} keeping some of those drawling , half - insincere complaints hushed in [your]_{160-georgiana} own breast . It is only because [our]_6086-we connection happens to be very transitory , and comes at a peculiarly mournful season , that [I]_{160-georgiana} consent thus to render it so patient and compliant on [my]_{160-georgiana} part . "_{[160-georgiana]} At last [I]_0-i saw [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} off ; but now it was [Eliza]_158-eliza 's turn to request [me]_0-i to stay another week . [Her]_{160-georgiana} plans required all [her]_{160-georgiana} time and attention , [she]_{160-georgiana} said ; [she]_{160-georgiana} was about to depart for [some unknown bourne]_{2639-some unknown bourne} ; and all day long [she]_{160-georgiana} stayed in [[her]_{160-georgiana} own room]_{4818-her own room} , [her]_{160-georgiana} door bolted within , filling trunks , emptying drawers , burning papers , and holding no communication with [any one]_{591-any one} . [She]_{160-georgiana} wished [me]_0-i to look after [the house]_{4322-the house} , to see [callers]_1681-callers , and answer notes of condolence . One morning [she]_{160-georgiana} told [me]_0-i [I]_0-i was at liberty . " And , "_{[160-georgiana]} [she]_{160-georgiana} added , " [I]_{160-georgiana} am obliged to [you]_0-i for [your]_0-i valuable services and discreet conduct ! There is some difference between living with such an one as [you]_0-i and with [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} : [you]_0-i perform [your]_0-i own part in life and burden [no one]_{593-no one} . To - morrow , "_{[160-georgiana]} [she]_{160-georgiana} continued , " [I]_{160-georgiana} set out for [the Continent]_{52-the continent} . [I]_{160-georgiana} shall take up [my]_{160-georgiana} abode in [a religious house near [Lisle]_32-lisle]_{6089-a religious house near lisle} - [a nunnery [you]_0-i would call [it]_{6090-a nunnery you would call it}]_{6090-a nunnery you would call it} ; there [I]_{160-georgiana} shall be quiet and unmolested . [I]_{160-georgiana} shall devote [myself]_{160-georgiana} for a time to the examination of the Roman Catholic dogmas , and to a careful study of the workings of [their]_6091-their system : if [I]_{160-georgiana} find it to be , as [I]_{160-georgiana} half suspect it is , the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things decently and in order , [I]_{160-georgiana} shall embrace the tenets of [Rome]_17-rome and probably take the veil . "_{[160-georgiana]} [I]_0-i neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor attempted to dissuade [her]_{160-georgiana} from it . " The vocation will fit [you]_{160-georgiana} to a hair , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought : " much good may it do [you]_{160-georgiana} ! "_[0-i] When [we]_2644-we parted , [she]_{160-georgiana} said : " Good - bye , [cousin Jane Eyre]_146-jane ; [I]_{160-georgiana} wish [you]_146-jane well : [you]_146-jane have some sense . "_{[160-georgiana]} [I]_0-i then returned : " [You]_{160-georgiana} are not without sense , [cousin Eliza]_158-eliza ; but what [you]_{160-georgiana} have , [I]_0-i suppose , in another year will be walled up alive in [a French convent]_{6092-a french convent} . However , it is not [my]_0-i business , and so it suits [you]_{160-georgiana} , [I]_0-i do n't much care . "_[0-i] " [You]_146-jane are in the right , "_{[160-georgiana]} said [she]_{160-georgiana} ; and with these words [we]_2644-we each went [our]_2644-we separate way . As [I]_0-i shall not have occasion to refer either to [her]_{160-georgiana} or [[her]_{160-georgiana} sister]_{4922-her sister} again , [I]_0-i may as well mention here , that [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} made an advantageous match with [a wealthy worn - out man of fashion]_{2646-a wealthy worn - out man of fashion} , and that [Eliza]_158-eliza actually took the veil , and is at this day superior of [the convent]_{2647-the convent} where [she]_158-eliza passed the period of [her]_158-eliza novitiate , and which [she]_158-eliza endowed with [her]_158-eliza fortune . How [people]_4493-people feel when [they]_4493-people are returning [home]_509-home from an absence , long or short , [I]_0-i did not know : [I]_0-i had never experienced the sensation . [I]_0-i had known what it was to come back to [Gateshead]_20-gateshead when [a child after a long walk]_{2650-a child after a long walk} , to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy ; and later , what it was to come back from [church]_949-church to [Lowood]_25-lowood , to long for a plenteous meal and a good fire , and to be unable to get either . Neither of these returnings was very pleasant or desirable : no magnet drew [me]_0-i to a given point , increasing in its strength of attraction the nearer [I]_0-i came . The return to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} was yet to be tried . [My]_0-i journey seemed tedious - very tedious : fifty miles one day , a night spent at [an inn]_{865-an inn} ; fifty miles the next day . During the first twelve hours [I]_0-i thought of [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} in [her]_{156-mrs. reed} last moments ; [I]_0-i saw [her]_{156-mrs. reed} disfigured and discoloured face , and heard [her]_{156-mrs. reed} strangely altered voice . [I]_0-i mused on the funeral day , the coffin , [the hearse]_{2653-the hearse} , the black train of [tenants]_1444-tenants and [servants]_{4989-servants} - few was the number of [relatives]_{5211-relatives} - [the gaping vault]_{2657-the gaping vault} , [the silent church]_{2658-the silent church} , the solemn service . Then [I]_0-i thought of [Eliza]_158-eliza and [Georgiana]_{160-georgiana} ; [I]_0-i beheld one the cynosure of [a ball - room]_{2659-a ball - room} , the other the inmate of [a convent cell]_{2660-a convent cell} ; and [I]_0-i dwelt on and analysed [their]_2661-their separate peculiarities of person and character . The evening arrival at [the great town of]_{2662-the great town of} - scattered these thoughts ; night gave [them]_2661-their quite another turn : laid down on [[my]_0-i traveller]_{2663-my traveller} 's bed , [I]_0-i left reminiscence for anticipation . [I]_0-i was going back to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : but how long was [I]_0-i to stay [there]_4426-there ? Not long ; of that [I]_0-i was sure . [I]_0-i had heard from [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} in the interim of [my]_0-i absence : the party at [the hall]_{608-the hall} was dispersed ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had left for [London]_31-london three weeks ago , but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was then expected to return in a fortnight . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} surmised that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was gone to make arrangements for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} wedding , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had talked of purchasing [a new carriage]_{2666-a new carriage} : [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said the idea of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} marrying [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} still seemed strange to [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; but from what [everybody]_{4413-everybody} said , and from what [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had [herself]_{180-mrs. fairfax} seen , [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} could no longer doubt that the event would shortly take place . " [You]_{180-mrs. fairfax} would be strangely incredulous if [you]_{180-mrs. fairfax} did doubt it , "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i mental comment . " [I]_0-i do n't doubt it . "_[0-i] The question followed , " Where was [I]_0-i to go ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i dreamt of [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} all the night : in a vivid morning dream [I]_0-i saw [her]_{297-miss ingram} closing the gates of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} against [me]_0-i and pointing [me]_0-i out [another road]_{2668-another road} ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} looked on with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms folded - smiling sardonically , as it seemed , at both [her]_{297-miss ingram} and [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had not notified to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} the exact day of [my]_0-i return ; for [I]_0-i did not wish [either car or carriage]_{2669-either car or carriage} to meet [me]_0-i at [Millcote]_44-millcote . [I]_0-i proposed to walk the distance quietly by [myself]_0-i ; and very quietly , after leaving [my]_0-i box in [the ostler]_{2670-the ostler} 's care , did [I]_0-i slip away from [the George Inn]_{2671-the george inn} , about six o'clock of a June evening , and take [the old road]_{2672-the old road} to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : [a road which lay chiefly through [fields , and was now little frequented]_{2674-fields , and was now little frequented}]_{2673-a road which lay chiefly through fields , and was now little frequented} . It was not a bright or splendid summer evening , though fair and soft : [the haymakers]_{2675-the haymakers} were at work all along [the road]_{4892-the road} ; and the sky , though far from cloudless , was such as promised well for the future : [its]_2677-its blue - where blue was visible - was mild and settled , and its cloud strata high and thin . [The west]_{2678-the west} , too , was warm : no watery gleam chilled it - it seemed as if there was a fire lit , an altar burning behind its screen of marbled vapour , and out of apertures shone a golden redness . [I]_0-i felt glad as [the road]_{4892-the road} shortened before [me]_0-i : so glad that [I]_0-i stopped once to ask [myself]_0-i what that joy meant : and to remind reason that it was not to [[my]_0-i home]_{2680-my home} [I]_0-i was going , or to a permanent resting - place , or to [a place where [fond friends]_{2682-fond friends} looked out for [me]_0-i and waited [my]_0-i arrival]_{2681-a place where fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival} . " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} will smile [you]_6093-you a calm welcome , to be sure , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i ; " and little [Adele]_259-adele will clap [her]_259-adele hands and jump to see [you]_6093-you : but [you]_6093-you know very well [you]_6093-you are thinking of another than [they]_2684-they , and that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is not thinking of [you]_6093-you . "_[0-i] But what is so headstrong as [youth]_2683-youth ? What so blind as inexperience ? [These]_361-these affirmed that it was pleasure enough to have the privilege of again looking on [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , whether [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked on [me]_0-i or not ; and [they]_2684-they added - " Hasten ! hasten ! be with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} while [you]_6093-you may : but a few more days or weeks , at most , and [you]_6093-you are parted from [him]_{251-mr. rochester} for ever ! "_[2684-they] And then [I]_0-i strangled a new - born agony - a deformed thing which [I]_0-i could not persuade [myself]_0-i to own and rear - and ran on . [They]_2684-they are making hay , too , in [[Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} meadows]_{2685-thornfield meadows} : or rather , [the labourers]_{2686-the labourers} are just quitting [their]_{2686-the labourers} work , and returning [home]_509-home with [their]_{2686-the labourers} rakes on [their]_{2686-the labourers} shoulders , now , at the hour [I]_0-i arrive . [I]_0-i have but [a field or two to traverse]_{2688-a field or two to traverse} , and then [I]_0-i shall cross [the road]_{4892-the road} and reach the gates . How full the hedges are of roses ! But [I]_0-i have no time to gather any ; [I]_0-i want to be at [the house]_{4322-the house} . [I]_0-i passed [a tall briar]_{2691-a tall briar} , shooting leafy and flowery branches across [the path]_{829-the path} ; [I]_0-i see the narrow stile with stone steps ; and [I]_0-i see - [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} sitting there , a book and a pencil in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} hand ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is writing . Well , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is not a ghost ; yet every nerve [I]_0-i have is unstrung : for a moment [I]_0-i am beyond [my]_0-i own mastery . What does it mean ? [I]_0-i did not think [I]_0-i should tremble in this way when [I]_0-i saw [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , or lose [my]_0-i voice or the power of motion in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence . [I]_0-i will go back as soon as [I]_0-i can stir : [I]_0-i need not make an absolute fool of [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i know another way to [the house]_{4322-the house} . It does not signify if [I]_0-i knew twenty ways ; for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has seen [me]_0-i . " [Hillo]_362-hillo ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} cries ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} puts up [his]_{251-mr. rochester} book and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} pencil . " There [you]_362-hillo are ! Come on , if [you]_362-hillo please . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i do come on ; though in what fashion [I]_0-i know not ; being scarcely cognisant of [my]_0-i movements , and solicitous only to appear calm ; and , above all , to control the working muscles of [my]_0-i face - which [I]_0-i feel rebel insolently against [my]_0-i will , and struggle to express what [I]_0-i had resolved to conceal . But [I]_0-i have a veil - it is down : [I]_0-i may make shift yet to behave with decent composure . " And this is [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? Are [you]_146-jane coming from [Millcote]_44-millcote , and on foot ? Yes - just one of [your]_146-jane tricks : not to send for [a carriage]_{776-a carriage} , and come clattering over [street]_6095-street and [road]_6096-road like [a common mortal]_{6097-a common mortal} , but to steal into the vicinage of [[your]_146-jane home]_{5172-your home} along with twilight , just as if [you]_146-jane were a dream or a shade . What the deuce have [you]_146-jane done with [yourself]_146-jane this last month ? "_[0-i] " [I]_2694-me have been with [[my]_2694-me aunt]_{4392-my aunt} , [sir]_4374-sir , who is dead . "_[2694-me] " [A true Janian reply]_{6101-a true janian reply} ! [Good angels]_{6102-good angels} be [my]_2694-me guard ! [She]_{4392-my aunt} comes from [the other world]_{6103-the other world} - from the abode of [people who are dead]_{6104-people who are dead} ; and tells [me]_2694-me so when [she]_{4392-my aunt} meets [me]_2694-me alone here in the gloaming ! If [I]_2694-me dared , [I]_2694-me 'd touch [you]_146-jane , to see if [you]_146-jane are substance or shadow , [you]_146-jane elf ! - but [I]_2694-me 'd as soon offer to take hold of a blue ignis fatuus light in [a marsh]_{6105-a marsh} . Truant ! truant ! "_[2694-me] [he]_2694-me added , when [he]_2694-me had paused an instant . " Absent from [me]_2694-me a whole month , and forgetting [me]_2694-me quite , [I]_2694-me 'll be sworn ! "_[2694-me] [I]_0-i knew there would be pleasure in meeting [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} again , even though broken by the fear that [he]_2694-me was so soon to cease to be [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} , and by the knowledge that [I]_0-i was nothing to [him]_2694-me : but there was ever in [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} so at least [I]_0-i thought such a wealth of the power of communicating happiness , that to taste but of the crumbs [he]_2694-me scattered to stray and stranger birds like [me]_0-i , was to feast genially . [His]_2694-me last words were balm : they seemed to imply that it imported something to [him]_2694-me whether [I]_0-i forgot [him]_2694-me or not . And [he]_2694-me had spoken of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} as [[my]_0-i home]_{2680-my home} - would that it were [[my]_0-i home]_{2680-my home} ! [He]_2694-me did not leave [the stile]_{1647-the stile} , and [I]_0-i hardly liked to ask to go by . [I]_0-i inquired soon if [he]_2694-me had not been to [London]_31-london . " Yes ; [I]_0-i suppose [you]_2694-me found that out by second - sight . "_[0-i] " [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} told [me]_2694-me in a letter . "_[2694-me] " And did [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} inform [you]_2694-me what [I]_2694-me went to do ? "_[2694-me] " Oh , yes , [sir]_4374-sir ! [Everybody]_{4413-everybody} knew [your]_2694-me errand . "_[2694-me] " [You]_2694-me must see [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} , [Jane]_146-jane , and tell [me]_2694-me if [you]_2694-me do n't think it will suit [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} exactly ; and whether [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} wo n't look like [Queen Boadicea]_{364-queen boadicea} , leaning back against those purple cushions . [I]_2694-me wish , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_2694-me were a trifle better adapted to match with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} externally . Tell [me]_2694-me now , fairy as [you]_2694-me are - ca n't [you]_2694-me give [me]_2694-me a charm , or a philter , or something of that sort , to make [me]_2694-me [a handsome man]_{6109-a handsome man} ? "_[2694-me] " It would be past the power of magic , [sir]_4374-sir ; "_[0-i] and , in thought , [I]_0-i added , " A loving eye is all the charm needed : to such [you]_2694-me are handsome enough ; or rather [your]_2694-me sternness has a power beyond beauty . "_[0-i] [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had sometimes read [my]_0-i unspoken thoughts with an acumen to [me]_0-i incomprehensible : in the present instance [he]_{251-mr. rochester} took no notice of [my]_0-i abrupt vocal response ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} smiled at [me]_0-i with a certain smile [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own , and which [he]_{251-mr. rochester} used but on rare occasions . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed to think it too good for common purposes : it was the real sunshine of feeling - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} shed it over [me]_0-i now . " Pass , [Janet]_265-janet , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , making room for [me]_0-i to cross the stile : " go up [home]_509-home , and stay [your]_0-i weary little wandering feet at [a friend]_{5395-a friend} 's threshold . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} All [I]_0-i had now to do was to obey [him]_{251-mr. rochester} in silence : no need for [me]_0-i to colloquise further . [I]_0-i got over the stile without a word , and meant to leave [him]_{251-mr. rochester} calmly . An impulse held [me]_0-i fast - a force turned [me]_0-i round . [I]_0-i said - or something in [me]_0-i said for [me]_0-i , and in spite of [me]_0-i - " Thank [you]_{251-mr. rochester} , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , for [your]_{251-mr. rochester} great kindness . [I]_0-i am strangely glad to get back again to [you]_{251-mr. rochester} : and wherever [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are is [[my]_0-i home]_{2680-my home} - [[my]_0-i only home]_{6114-my only home} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i walked on so fast that even [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could hardly have overtaken [me]_0-i had [he]_{251-mr. rochester} tried . [Little Adele]_259-adele was half wild with delight when [she]_259-adele saw [me]_0-i . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} received [me]_0-i with [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} usual plain friendliness . [Leah]_195-bessie smiled , and even [Sophie]_256-sophie bid [me]_0-i " bon soir "_[256-sophie] with glee . This was very pleasant ; there is no happiness like that of being loved by [your]_2700-your fellow - creatures , and feeling that [your]_2700-your presence is an addition to [their]_2701-their comfort . [I]_0-i that evening shut [my]_0-i eyes resolutely against the future : [I]_0-i stopped [my]_0-i cars against the voice that kept warning [me]_0-i of near separation and coming grief . When tea was over and [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had taken [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} knitting , and [I]_0-i had assumed a low seat near [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and [Adele]_259-adele , kneeling on the carpet , had nestled close up to [me]_0-i , and a sense of mutual affection seemed to surround [us]_2702-us with a ring of golden peace , [I]_0-i uttered a silent prayer that [we]_2702-us might not be parted far or soon ; but when , as [we]_2702-us thus sat , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} entered , unannounced , and looking at [us]_2702-us , seemed to take pleasure in the spectacle of [a group so amicable]_{2703-a group so amicable} - when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} supposed [the old lady]_{1406-the old lady} was all right now that [she]_{1406-the old lady} had got [[her]_{1406-the old lady} adopted daughter]_{2705-her adopted daughter} back again , and added that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} saw [Adele]_259-adele was " prete e croquer sa petite maman Anglaise "_{[251-mr. rochester]} - [I]_0-i half ventured to hope that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would , even after [his]_{251-mr. rochester} marriage , keep [us]_2702-us together somewhere under the shelter of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} protection , and not quite exiled from the sunshine of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence . A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded [my]_0-i return to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} . Nothing was said of [the master]_{540-the master} 's marriage , and [I]_0-i saw no preparation going on for such an event . Almost every day [I]_0-i asked [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} if [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had yet heard anything decided : [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} answer was always in the negative . Once [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had actually put the question to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} as to when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was going to bring [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} bride]_{5806-his bride} [home]_509-home ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had answered [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} only by a joke and one of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} queer looks , and [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} could not tell what to make of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . One thing specially surprised [me]_0-i , and that was , there were no journeyings backward and forward , no visits to [Ingram Park]_{70-ingram park} : to be sure [it]_{70-ingram park} was twenty miles off , on [the borders of [another county]_{2710-another county}]_{2709-the borders of another county} ; but what was that distance to [an ardent lover]_{2711-an ardent lover} ? To so practised and indefatigable [a horseman]_{2712-a horseman} as [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , it would be but a morning 's ride . [I]_0-i began to cherish hopes [I]_0-i had no right to conceive : that the match was broken off ; that rumour had been mistaken ; that [one or both parties]_{2713-one or both parties} had changed [their]_{2713-one or both parties} minds . [I]_0-i used to look at [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's face to see if it were sad or fierce ; but [I]_0-i could not remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or evil feelings . If , in the moments [I]_0-i and [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} spent with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i lacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} became even gay . Never had [he]_{251-mr. rochester} called [me]_0-i more frequently to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence ; never been kinder to [me]_0-i when there - and , alas ! never had [I]_0-i loved [him]_{251-mr. rochester} so well . CHAPTER XXIII A splendid Midsummer shone over [England]_21-england : skies so pure , suns so radiant as were then seen in long succession , seldom favour even singly , [[our]_2716-our wave - girt land]_{2717-our wave - girt land} . It was as if [a band of Italian days]_{2718-a band of italian days} had come from [the South]_{79-the south} , like a flock of glorious passenger birds , and lighted to rest them on [the cliffs of [Albion]_80-albion]_{2719-the cliffs of albion} . The hay was all got in ; [the fields round [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{2720-the fields round thornfield} were green and shorn ; [the roads]_{1387-the roads} white and baked ; the trees were in their dark prime ; hedge and wood , full - leaved and deeply tinted , contrasted well with the sunny hue of [the cleared meadows between]_{2722-the cleared meadows between} . On Midsummer - eve , [Adele]_259-adele , weary with gathering wild strawberries in [Hay Lane]_{58-hay lane} half the day , had gone to bed with the sun . [I]_0-i watched [her]_259-adele drop asleep , and when [I]_0-i left [her]_259-adele , [I]_0-i sought [the garden]_{4568-the garden} . It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty - four:- " Day its fervid fires had wasted , "_[0-i] and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit . Where the sun had gone down in simple state - pure of the pomp of clouds - spread a solemn purple , burning with the light of red jewel and furnace flame at one point , on one hill - peak , and extending high and wide , soft and still softer , over half heaven . [The east]_{2724-the east} had its own charm or fine deep blue , and [its]_{2724-the east} own modest gem , a casino and solitary star : soon it would boast the moon ; but [she]_259-adele was yet beneath the horizon . [I]_0-i walked a while on [the pavement]_{2725-the pavement} ; but a subtle , well - known scent - that of a cigar - stole from some window ; [I]_0-i saw the library casement open a handbreadth ; [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i might be watched thence ; so [I]_0-i went apart into [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} . [No nook in [the grounds]_{772-the grounds}]_{2727-no nook in the grounds} more sheltered and more Eden - like ; [it]_{2727-no nook in the grounds} was full of trees , [it]_{2727-no nook in the grounds} bloomed with flowers : a very high wall shut [it]_{2727-no nook in the grounds} out from [the court]_{2729-the court} , on one side ; on the other , [a beech avenue]_{2730-a beech avenue} screened [it]_{2727-no nook in the grounds} from [the lawn]_{633-the lawn} . At the bottom was a sunk fence ; [its]_2732-its sole separation from [lonely fields]_{2733-lonely fields} : [a winding walk , bordered with laurels and terminating in a giant horse - chestnut , circled at the base by a seat]_{2734-a winding walk , bordered with laurels and terminating in a giant horse - chestnut , circled at the base by a seat} , led down to the fence . Here one could wander unseen . While such honey - dew fell , such silence reigned , such gloaming gathered , [I]_0-i felt as if [I]_0-i could haunt such shade for ever ; but in threading the flower and fruit parterres at the upper part of [the enclosure]_{2735-the enclosure} , enticed there by the light the now rising moon cast on [this more open quarter]_{2736-this more open quarter} , [my]_0-i step is stayed - not by sound , not by sight , but once more by a warning fragrance . Sweet - briar and southernwood , jasmine , pink , and rose have long been yielding [their]_2737-their evening sacrifice of incense : this new scent is neither of shrub nor flower ; it is - [I]_0-i know it well - it is [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's cigar . [I]_0-i look round and [I]_0-i listen . [I]_0-i see trees laden with ripening fruit . [I]_0-i hear a nightingale warbling in a wood half a mile off ; no moving form is visible , no coming step audible ; but that perfume increases : [I]_0-i must flee . [I]_0-i make for the wicket leading to the shrubbery , and [I]_0-i see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} entering . [I]_0-i step aside into the ivy recess ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} will not stay long : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} will soon return whence [he]_{251-mr. rochester} came , and if [I]_0-i sit still [he]_{251-mr. rochester} will never see [me]_0-i . But no - eventide is as pleasant to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} as to [me]_0-i , and [this antique garden]_{2738-this antique garden} as attractive ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} strolls on , now lifting the gooseberry- tree branches to look at the fruit , large as plums , with which they are laden ; now taking a ripe cherry from the wall ; now stooping towards a knot of flowers , either to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew - beads on their petals . A great moth goes humming by [me]_0-i ; it alights on a plant at [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's foot : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} sees it , and bends to examine it . " Now , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has [his]_{251-mr. rochester} back towards [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is occupied too ; perhaps , if [I]_0-i walk softly , [I]_0-i can slip away unnoticed . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i trode on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might not betray [me]_0-i : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was standing among the beds at a yard or two distant from where [I]_0-i had to pass ; the moth apparently engaged [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . " [I]_0-i shall get by very well , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i meditated . As [I]_0-i crossed [his]_{251-mr. rochester} shadow , thrown long over [the garden]_{4568-the garden} by the moon , not yet risen high , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said quietly , without turning - " [Jane]_146-jane , come and look at [this fellow]_{6115-this fellow} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i had made no noise : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had not eyes behind - could [his]_{251-mr. rochester} shadow feel ? [I]_0-i started at first , and then [I]_0-i approached [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . " Look at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} wings , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} reminds [me]_{251-mr. rochester} rather of a West Indian insect ; [one]_4415-one does not often see so large and gay [a night - rover in [England]_21-england]_{6117-a night - rover in england} ; there ! [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is flown . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} The moth roamed away . [I]_0-i was sheepishly retreating also ; but [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} followed [me]_0-i , and when [we]_2740-we reached [the wicket]_{2741-the wicket} , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said - " Turn back : on so lovely a night it is a shame to sit in [the house]_{4322-the house} ; and surely [no one]_{593-no one} can wish to go to bed while sunset is thus at meeting with moonrise . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} It is one of [my]_0-i faults , that though [my]_0-i tongue is sometimes prompt enough at an answer , there are times when it sadly fails [me]_0-i in framing an excuse ; and always the lapse occurs at some crisis , when a facile word or plausible pretext is specially wanted to get [me]_0-i out of painful embarrassment . [I]_0-i did not like to walk at this hour alone with [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} in [the shadowy orchard]_{2742-the shadowy orchard} ; but [I]_0-i could not find a reason to allege for leaving [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i followed with lagging step , and thoughts busily bent on discovering a means of extrication ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} looked so composed and so grave also , [I]_0-i became ashamed of feeling any confusion : the evil - if evil existent or prospective there was - seemed to lie with [me]_0-i only ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} mind was unconscious and quiet . " [Jane]_146-jane , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} recommenced , as [we]_2743-we entered [the laurel walk]_{2744-the laurel walk} , and slowly strayed down in the direction of the sunk fence and the horse - chestnut , " [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} is [a pleasant place]_{6120-a pleasant place} in summer , is it not ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [You]_0-i must have become in some degree attached to [the house]_{4322-the house} , - [you]_0-i , who have an eye for natural beauties , and a good deal of the organ of Adhesiveness ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am attached to it , indeed . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And though [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do n't comprehend how it is , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} perceive [you]_0-i have acquired a degree of regard for [that foolish little child [Adele]_259-adele]_{6123-that foolish little child adele} , too ; and even for [simple dame Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir ; in different ways , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have an affection for both . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And would be sorry to part with [them]_6125-them ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Yes . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Pity ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , and sighed and paused . " It is always the way of events in this life , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} continued presently : " no sooner have [you]_0-i got settled in [a pleasant resting - place]_{6126-a pleasant resting - place} , than a voice calls out to [you]_0-i to rise and move on , for the hour of repose is expired . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Must [I]_0-i move on , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " Must [I]_0-i leave [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} believe [you]_0-i must , [Jane]_146-jane . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am sorry , [Janet]_265-janet , but [I]_{251-mr. rochester} believe indeed [you]_0-i must . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} This was a blow : but [I]_0-i did not let it prostrate [me]_0-i . " Well , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i shall be ready when the order to march comes . "_[0-i] " It is come now - [I]_0-i must give it to - night . "_[0-i] " Then [you]_0-i ARE going to be married , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[0-i] " Ex - act - ly - pre - cise - ly : with [your]_0-i usual acuteness , [you]_0-i have hit the nail straight on the head . "_[0-i] " Soon , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[0-i] " Very soon , [my]_0-i - that is , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane : and [you]_0-i 'll remember , [Jane]_146-jane , the first time [I]_0-i , or Rumour , plainly intimated to [you]_0-i that it was [my]_0-i intention to put [[my]_0-i old bachelor]_{6131-my old bachelor} 's neck into the sacred noose , to enter into [the holy estate of matrimony]_{6132-the holy estate of matrimony} - to take [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} to [my]_0-i bosom , in short [she]_{297-miss ingram} 's an extensive armful : but that 's not to the point - one ca n't have too much of such a very excellent thing as [my]_0-i beautiful Blanche : well , as [I]_0-i was saying - listen to [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ! [You]_0-i 're not turning [your]_0-i head to look after [more moths]_{6133-more moths} , are [you]_0-i ? That was only [a lady - clock]_{6134-a lady - clock} , [child]_4354-child , ' flying away [home]_509-home . ' [I]_0-i wish to remind [you]_0-i that it was [you]_0-i who first said to [me]_0-i , with that discretion [I]_0-i respect in [you]_0-i - with that foresight , prudence , and humility which befit [your]_0-i responsible and dependent position - that in case [I]_0-i married [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , both [you]_0-i and little [Adele]_259-adele had better trot forthwith . [I]_0-i pass over the sort of slur conveyed in this suggestion on the character of [[my]_0-i beloved]_{6137-my beloved} ; indeed , when [you]_0-i are far away , [Janet]_265-janet , [I]_0-i 'll try to forget it : [I]_0-i shall notice only its wisdom ; which is such that [I]_0-i have made it [my]_0-i law of action . [Adele]_259-adele must go to [school]_537-school ; and [you]_0-i , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , must get a new situation . "_[0-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i will advertise immediately : and meantime , [I]_0-i suppose - "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was going to say , " [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i may stay [here]_4312-here , till [I]_0-i find another shelter to betake [myself]_0-i to : "_[0-i] but [I]_0-i stopped , feeling it would not do to risk a long sentence , for [my]_0-i voice was not quite under command . " In about a month [I]_{251-mr. rochester} hope to be [a bridegroom]_{6141-a bridegroom} , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} continued [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; " and in the interim , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} shall [myself]_{251-mr. rochester} look out for employment and an asylum for [you]_0-i . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Thank [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_0-i am sorry to give - "_[0-i] " Oh , no need to apologise ! [I]_{251-mr. rochester} consider that when [a dependent]_{4316-a dependent} does [her]_{4316-a dependent} duty as well as [you]_0-i have done [yours]_0-i , [she]_{4316-a dependent} has a sort of claim upon [[her]_{4316-a dependent} employer]_{1501-her employer} for any little assistance [he]_{1501-her employer} can conveniently render [her]_{4316-a dependent} ; indeed [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have already , through [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} future mother - in - law]_{6145-my future mother - in - law} , heard of a place that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} think will suit : it is to undertake the education of [the five daughters of [Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall of Bitternutt Lodge]_{365-bitternutt lodge}]_{6146-the five daughters of mrs. dionysius o'gall of bitternutt lodge} , [Connaught]_81-connaught , [Ireland]_82-ireland . [You]_0-i 'll like [Ireland]_82-ireland , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} think : [they]_6147-they 're [such warm - hearted people]_{6148-such warm - hearted people} [there]_4426-there , [they]_6147-they say . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " It is a long way off , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " No matter - [a girl of [your]_4374-sir sense]_{6151-a girl of your sense} will not object to the voyage or the distance . "_[0-i] " Not the voyage , but the distance : and then [the sea]_{5042-the sea} is a barrier - "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " From what , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " From [England]_21-england and from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : and - "_[0-i] " Well ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " From [YOU]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said this almost involuntarily , and , with as little sanction of free will , [my]_0-i tears gushed out . [I]_0-i did not cry so as to be heard , however ; [I]_0-i avoided sobbing . The thought of [Mrs. O'Gall]_{365-bitternutt lodge} and [Bitternutt Lodge]_{365-bitternutt lodge} struck cold to [my]_0-i heart ; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam , destined , as it seemed , to rush between [me]_0-i and [the master at whose side [I]_0-i now walked]_{2745-the master at whose side i now walked} , and coldest the remembrance of [the wider ocean]_{2746-the wider ocean} - wealth , caste , custom intervened between [me]_0-i and what [I]_0-i naturally and inevitably loved . " It is a long way , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i again said . " It is , to be sure ; and when [you]_146-jane get to [Bitternutt Lodge]_{365-bitternutt lodge} , [Connaught]_81-connaught , [Ireland]_82-ireland , [I]_0-i shall never see [you]_146-jane again , [Jane]_146-jane : that 's morally certain . [I]_0-i never go over to [Ireland]_82-ireland , not having [myself]_0-i much of a fancy for [the country]_{4525-the country} . [We]_6155-we have been [good friends]_{6156-good friends} , [Jane]_146-jane ; have [we]_6155-we not ? "_[0-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[2747-i] " And when [friends]_1114-friends are on the eve of separation , [they]_1114-friends like to spend the little time that remains to [them]_1114-friends close to [each other]_{724-each other} . Come ! [we]_6155-we 'll talk over the voyage and the parting quietly half - an - hour or so , while the stars enter into their shining life up in heaven yonder : here is the chestnut tree : here is the bench at [its]_82-ireland old roots . Come , [we]_6155-we will sit there in peace to - night , though [we]_6155-we should never more be destined to sit there together . "_[2747-i] [He]_2747-i seated [me]_0-i and [himself]_2747-i . " It is a long way to [Ireland]_82-ireland , [Janet]_265-janet , and [I]_2747-i am sorry to send [[my]_2747-i little friend]_{2299-my little friend} on such weary travels : but if [I]_2747-i ca n't do better , how is it to be helped ? Are [you]_0-i anything akin to [me]_2747-i , do [you]_0-i think , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[2747-i] [I]_0-i could risk no sort of answer by this time : [my]_0-i heart was still . " Because , "_[2747-i] [he]_2747-i said , " [I]_2747-i sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to [you]_0-i - especially when [you]_0-i are near [me]_2747-i , as now : it is as if [I]_2747-i had a string somewhere under [my]_2747-i left ribs , tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of [your]_0-i little frame . And if that boisterous Channel , and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between [us]_6161-us , [I]_2747-i am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt ; and then [I]_2747-i 've a nervous notion [I]_2747-i should take to bleeding inwardly . As for [you]_0-i , - [you]_0-i 'd forget [me]_2747-i . "_[2747-i] " That [I]_2747-i NEVER should , [sir]_4374-sir : [You]_4374-sir know - "_[2747-i] Impossible to proceed . " [Jane]_146-jane , do [you]_0-i hear that nightingale singing in [the wood]_{1204-the wood} ? Listen ! "_[2747-i] In listening , [I]_0-i sobbed convulsively ; for [I]_0-i could repress what [I]_0-i endured no longer ; [I]_0-i was obliged to yield , and [I]_0-i was shaken from head to foot with acute distress . When [I]_0-i did speak , it was only to express an impetuous wish that [I]_0-i had never been born , or never come to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . " Because [you]_4374-sir are sorry to leave it ? "_[0-i] The vehemence of emotion , stirred by grief and love within [me]_0-i , was claiming mastery , and struggling for full sway , and asserting a right to predominate , to overcome , to live , rise , and reign at last : yes , - and to speak . " [I]_2749-i grieve to leave [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : [I]_2749-i love [Thornfield:-]_{366-thornfield:-} [I]_2749-i love it , because [I]_2749-i have lived in [it]_{366-thornfield:-} a full and delightful life , - momentarily at least . [I]_2749-i have not been trampled on . [I]_2749-i have not been petrified . [I]_2749-i have not been buried with inferior minds , and excluded from every glimpse of communion with what is bright and energetic and high . [I]_2749-i have talked , face to face , with what [I]_2749-i reverence , with what [I]_2749-i delight in , - with an original , a vigorous , an expanded mind . [I]_2749-i have known [you]_2748-you , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and it strikes [me]_2749-i with terror and anguish to feel [I]_2749-i absolutely must be torn from [you]_2748-you for ever . [I]_2749-i see the necessity of departure ; and it is like looking on the necessity of death . "_[2749-i] " Where do [you]_2748-you see the necessity ? "_[2748-you] [he]_2748-you asked suddenly . " Where ? [You]_2748-you , [sir]_4374-sir , have placed it before [me]_2748-you . "_[2748-you] " In what shape ? "_[2749-i] " In the shape of [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ; [a noble and beautiful woman]_{6165-a noble and beautiful woman} , - [[your]_2748-you bride]_{2522-your bride} . "_[2749-i] " [[My]_2749-i bride]_{2506-my bride} ! What bride ? [I]_2749-i have [no bride]_{6168-no bride} ! "_[2749-i] " But [you]_2749-i will have . "_[2749-i] " Yes ; - [I]_2748-you will ! - [I]_2748-you will ! "_[2748-you] [He]_2748-you set [his]_2748-you teeth . " Then [I]_2748-you must go:- [you]_2748-you have said it [yourself]_2748-you . "_[2748-you] " No : [you]_2748-you must stay ! [I]_2749-i swear it - and the oath shall be kept . "_[2749-i] " [I]_0-i tell [you]_2748-you [I]_0-i must go ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i retorted , roused to something like passion . " Do [you]_2748-you think [I]_2749-i can stay to become nothing to [you]_2748-you ? Do [you]_2748-you think [I]_2749-i am [an automaton]_{6169-an automaton} ? - a machine without feelings ? and can bear to have [my]_2749-i morsel of bread snatched from [my]_2749-i lips , and [my]_2749-i drop of living water dashed from [my]_2749-i cup ? Do [you]_2748-you think , because [I]_2749-i am poor , obscure , plain , and little , [I]_2749-i am soulless and heartless ? [You]_2748-you think wrong ! - [I]_2749-i have as much soul as [you]_2748-you , - and full as much heart ! And if [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had gifted [me]_2749-i with some beauty and much wealth , [I]_2749-i should have made it as hard for [you]_2748-you to leave [me]_2749-i , as it is now for [me]_2749-i to leave [you]_2748-you . [I]_2749-i am not talking to [you]_2748-you now through the medium of custom , conventionalities , nor even of mortal flesh ; - it is [my]_2749-i spirit that addresses [your]_2748-you spirit ; just as if both had passed through the grave , and [we]_6170-we stood at [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's feet , equal , - as [we]_6170-we are ! "_[2749-i] " As [we]_6170-we are ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} repeated [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} - ' so , " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} added , enclosing [me]_{251-mr. rochester} in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms . Gathering [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} breast , pressing [his]_{251-mr. rochester} lips on [my]_{251-mr. rochester} lips : ' so , [Jane]_146-jane ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Yes , so , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rejoined : " and yet not so ; for [you]_2748-you are [a married man]_{6172-a married man} - or as good as [a married man]_{6172-a married man} , and [we]_6170-we d to [one inferior to [you]_2748-you]_{6174-one inferior to you} - to one with whom [you]_2748-you have no sympathy - whom [I]_0-i do not believe [you]_2748-you truly love ; for [I]_0-i have seen and heard [you]_2748-you sneer at [her]_6175-her . [I]_0-i would scorn such a union : therefore [I]_0-i am better than [you]_2748-you - let [me]_0-i go ! "_[0-i] " Where , [Jane]_146-jane ? To [Ireland]_82-ireland ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Yes - to [Ireland]_82-ireland . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have spoken [my]_{251-mr. rochester} mind , and can go anywhere now . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Jane]_146-jane , be still ; do n't struggle so , like a wild frantic bird that is rending its own plumage in its desperation . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am no bird ; and no net ensnares [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am [a free human being]_{6176-a free human being} with an independent will , which [I]_{251-mr. rochester} now exert to leave [you]_146-jane . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Another effort set [me]_0-i at liberty , and [I]_0-i stood erect before [him]_2749-i . " And [your]_0-i will shall decide [your]_0-i destiny , "_[2749-i] [he]_2749-i said : " [I]_2749-i offer [you]_0-i [my]_2749-i hand , [my]_2749-i heart , and a share of all [my]_2749-i possessions . "_[2749-i] " [You]_146-jane play a farce , which [I]_{251-mr. rochester} merely laugh at . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} ask [you]_0-i to pass through life at [my]_{251-mr. rochester} side - to be [my]_{251-mr. rochester} second self , and best earthly companion . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " For that fate [you]_0-i have already made [your]_0-i choice , and must abide by it . "_[2749-i] " [Jane]_146-jane , be still a few moments : [you]_0-i are over - excited : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will be still too . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel - walk , and trembled through the boughs of [the chestnut]_{2750-the chestnut} : it wandered away - away - to an indefinite distance - it died . The nightingale 's song was then the only voice of the hour : in listening to it , [I]_0-i again wept . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} sat quiet , looking at [me]_0-i gently and seriously . Some time passed before [he]_{251-mr. rochester} spoke ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} at last said - " Come to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} side , [Jane]_146-jane , and let [us]_6177-us explain and understand [one another]_{6178-one another} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will never again come to [your]_0-i side : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am torn away now , and can not return . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " But , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i summon [you]_146-jane as [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} : it is [you]_146-jane only [I]_0-i intend to marry . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was silent : [I]_0-i thought [he]_{251-mr. rochester} mocked [me]_0-i . " Come , [Jane]_146-jane - come hither . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [[Your]_{251-mr. rochester} bride]_{2522-your bride} stands between [us]_6181-us . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} rose , and with a stride reached [me]_0-i . " [[My]_{251-mr. rochester} bride]_{2506-my bride} is here , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , again drawing [me]_0-i to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , " because [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} equal]_{6183-my equal} is here , and [my]_{251-mr. rochester} likeness . [Jane]_146-jane , will [you]_0-i marry [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Still [I]_0-i did not answer , and still [I]_0-i writhed [myself]_0-i from [his]_{251-mr. rochester} grasp : for [I]_0-i was still incredulous . " Do [you]_{251-mr. rochester} doubt [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[0-i] " Entirely . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} have no faith in [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " Not a whit . "_[0-i] " Am [I]_{251-mr. rochester} a liar in [your]_0-i eyes ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} asked passionately . " [Little sceptic]_{6184-little sceptic} , [you]_0-i SHALL be convinced . What love have [I]_{251-mr. rochester} for [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ? None : and that [you]_0-i know . What love has [she]_{297-miss ingram} for [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? None : as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have taken pains to prove : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} caused a rumour to reach [her]_{297-miss ingram} that [my]_{251-mr. rochester} fortune was not a third of what was supposed , and after that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} presented [myself]_{251-mr. rochester} to see the result ; it was coldness both from [her]_{297-miss ingram} and [[her]_{297-miss ingram} mother]_{767-her mother} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would not - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could not - marry [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} . [You]_{297-miss ingram} - [you]_{297-miss ingram} strange , [you]_{297-miss ingram} almost unearthly thing ! - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} love as [my]_{251-mr. rochester} own flesh . [You]_{297-miss ingram} - poor and obscure , and small and plain as [you]_{297-miss ingram} are - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} entreat to accept [me]_{251-mr. rochester} as [a husband]_{6186-a husband} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " What , [me]_0-i ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ejaculated , beginning in [his]_2751-his earnestness - and especially in [his]_2751-his incivility - to credit [his]_2751-his sincerity : " [me]_0-i who have [not a friend in [the world]_{484-the world}]_{6187-not a friend in the world} but [you]_{297-miss ingram} - if [you]_{297-miss ingram} are [[my]_0-i friend]_{4521-my friend} : not a shilling but what [you]_{297-miss ingram} have given [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " [You]_{297-miss ingram} , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} must have [you]_{297-miss ingram} for [my]_{251-mr. rochester} own - entirely [my]_{251-mr. rochester} own . Will [you]_{297-miss ingram} be [mine]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Say yes , quickly . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , let [me]_{251-mr. rochester} look at [your]_2752-me face : turn to the moonlight . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Why ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Because [I]_{251-mr. rochester} want to read [your]_2752-me countenance - turn ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " There ! [you]_{297-miss ingram} will find it scarcely more legible than a crumpled , scratched page . Read on : only make haste , for [I]_2752-me suffer . "_[2752-me] [His]_2752-me face was very much agitated and very much flushed , and there were strong workings in the features , and strange gleams in the eyes " Oh , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane torture [me]_2752-me ! "_[2752-me] [he]_2752-me exclaimed . " With that searching and yet faithful and generous look , [you]_146-jane torture [me]_2752-me ! "_[2752-me] " How can [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do that ? If [you]_2752-me are true , and [your]_2752-me offer real , [my]_{251-mr. rochester} only feelings to [you]_2752-me must be gratitude and devotion - they can not torture . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Gratitude ! "_[2752-me] [he]_2752-me ejaculated ; and added wildly - " [Jane]_146-jane accept [me]_2752-me quickly . Say , [Edward]_{273-mr. edward} - give [me]_2752-me [my]_2752-me name - [Edward]_{273-mr. edward} - [I]_2752-me will marry [you]_{273-mr. edward} . "_[2752-me] " Are [you]_{273-mr. edward} in earnest ? Do [you]_{273-mr. edward} truly love [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Do [you]_{273-mr. edward} sincerely wish [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to be [[your]_{273-mr. edward} wife]_{6190-your wife} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do ; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy [you]_{273-mr. edward} , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} swear it . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Then , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_2752-me will marry [you]_{273-mr. edward} . "_[2752-me] " [Edward]_{273-mr. edward} - [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} little wife]_{6192-my little wife} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Dear Edward]_{367-dear edward} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Come to [me]_2753-i - come to [me]_2753-i entirely now , "_[2753-i] said [he]_2753-i ; and added , in [his]_2753-i deepest tone , speaking in [my]_0-i ear as [his]_2753-i cheek was laid on [mine]_0-i , " Make [my]_2753-i happiness - [I]_2753-i will make [yours]_0-i . "_[2753-i] " God pardon [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_2753-i subjoined ere long ; " and [man]_4667-man meddle not with [me]_2753-i : [I]_2753-i have [her]_6194-her , and will hold [her]_6194-her . "_[2753-i] " There is [no one to meddle]_{6195-no one to meddle} , [sir]_4374-sir . [I]_2753-i have no kindred to interfere . "_[2753-i] " No - that is the best of it , "_[2753-i] [he]_2753-i said . And if [I]_0-i had loved [him]_2753-i less [I]_0-i should have thought [his]_2753-i accent and look of exultation savage ; but , sitting by [him]_2753-i , roused from the nightmare of parting - called to the paradise of union - [I]_0-i thought only of the bliss given [me]_0-i to drink in so abundant a flow . Again and again [he]_2753-i said , " Are [you]_0-i happy , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[2753-i] And again and again [I]_0-i answered , " Yes . "_[0-i] After which [he]_2753-i murmured , " It will atone - it will atone . Have [I]_2753-i not found [her]_6194-her friendless , and cold , and comfortless ? Will [I]_2753-i not guard , and cherish , and solace [her]_6194-her ? Is there not love in [my]_2753-i heart , and constancy in [my]_2753-i resolves ? It will expiate at [[God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's tribunal]_{6197-god 's tribunal} . [I]_2753-i know [[my]_2753-i Maker]_{6198-my maker} sanctions what [I]_2753-i do . For [the world]_{484-the world} 's judgment - [I]_2753-i wash [my]_2753-i hands thereof . For [man]_4667-man 's opinion - [I]_2753-i defy it . "_[2753-i] But what had befallen the night ? The moon was not yet set , and [we]_2754-we were all in shadow : [I]_0-i could scarcely see [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's face , near as [I]_0-i was . And what ailed the chestnut tree ? it writhed and groaned ; while wind roared in the laurel walk , and came sweeping over [us]_2754-we . " [We]_2754-we must go in , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : " the weather changes . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could have sat with [thee]_0-i till morning , [Jane]_146-jane . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And so , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , " could [I]_0-i with [you]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should have said so , perhaps , but a livid , vivid spark leapt out of a cloud at which [I]_0-i was looking , and there was a crack , a crash , and a close rattling peal ; and [I]_0-i thought only of hiding [my]_0-i dazzled eyes against [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's shoulder . The rain rushed down . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} hurried [me]_0-i up [the walk]_{2756-the walk} , through [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} , and into [the house]_{4322-the house} ; but [we]_2754-we were quite wet before [we]_2754-we could pass the threshold . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was taking off [my]_0-i shawl in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , and shaking the water out of [my]_0-i loosened hair , when [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} emerged from [[her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} room]_{1588-her room} . [I]_0-i did not observe [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} at first , nor did [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . The lamp was lit . The clock was on the stroke of twelve . " Hasten to take off [your]_0-i wet things , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ; " and before [you]_0-i go , good - night - good - night , [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} darling]_{6201-my darling} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} kissed [me]_0-i repeatedly . When [I]_0-i looked up , on leaving [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms , there stood [the widow]_{1549-the widow} , pale , grave , and amazed . [I]_0-i only smiled at [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and ran [upstairs]_552-upstairs . " Explanation will do for another time , "_[0-i] thought [I.]_0-i Still , when [I]_0-i reached [[my]_0-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} , [I]_0-i felt a pang at the idea [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} should even temporarily misconstrue what [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had seen . But joy soon effaced every other feeling ; and loud as the wind blew , near and deep as the thunder crashed , fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed , cataract - like as the rain fell during a storm of two hours ' duration , [I]_0-i experienced no fear and little awe . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} came thrice to [my]_0-i door in the course of it , to ask if [I]_0-i was safe and tranquil : and that was comfort , that was strength for anything . Before [I]_0-i left [my]_0-i bed in the morning , [little Adele]_259-adele came running in to tell [me]_0-i that the great horse - chestnut at the bottom of [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} had been struck by lightning in the night , and half of it split away . CHAPTER XXIV As [I]_0-i rose and dressed , [I]_0-i thought over what had happened , and wondered if it were a dream . [I]_0-i could not be certain of the reality till [I]_0-i had seen [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} again , and heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} renew [his]_{251-mr. rochester} words of love and promise . While arranging [my]_0-i hair , [I]_0-i looked at [my]_0-i face in the glass , and felt it was no longer plain : there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour ; and [my]_0-i eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition , and borrowed beams from the lustrous ripple . [I]_0-i had often been unwilling to look at [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} , because [I]_0-i feared [he]_{4336-my master} could not be pleased at [my]_0-i look ; but [I]_0-i was sure [I]_0-i might lift [my]_0-i face to [his]_{4336-my master} now , and not cool [his]_{4336-my master} affection by its expression . [I]_0-i took a plain but clean and light summer dress from [my]_0-i drawer and put it on : it seemed no attire had ever so well become [me]_0-i , because none had [I]_0-i ever worn in so blissful a mood . [I]_0-i was not surprised , when [I]_0-i ran down into [the hall]_{608-the hall} , to see that a brilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night ; and to feel , through the open glass door , the breathing of a fresh and fragrant breeze . [Nature]_278-nature must be gladsome when [I]_0-i was so happy . [A beggar - woman]_{2767-a beggar - woman} and [[her]_{2767-a beggar - woman} little boy]_{2768-her little boy} - [pale , ragged objects both]_{2769-pale , ragged objects both} - were coming up [the walk]_{2756-the walk} , and [I]_0-i ran down and gave [them]_2771-them all the money [I]_0-i happened to have in [my]_0-i purse - some three or four shillings : good or bad , [they]_2771-them must partake of [my]_0-i jubilee . The rooks cawed , and blither birds sang ; but nothing was so merry or so musical as [my]_0-i own rejoicing heart . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} surprised [me]_0-i by looking out of the window with a sad countenance , and saying gravely - " [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , will [you]_0-i come to breakfast ? "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} During the meal [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was quiet and cool : but [I]_0-i could not undeceive [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} then . [I]_0-i must wait for [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} to give explanations ; and so must [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [I]_0-i ate what [I]_0-i could , and then [I]_0-i hastened [upstairs]_552-upstairs . [I]_0-i met [Adele]_259-adele leaving [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} . " Where are [you]_0-i going ? It is time for lessons . "_[259-adele] " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has sent [me]_0-i away to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . "_[0-i] " Where is [he]_{4336-my master} ? "_[259-adele] " In there , "_[259-adele] pointing to [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} [she]_259-adele had left ; and [I]_0-i went in , and there [he]_{4336-my master} stood . " Come and bid [me]_{4336-my master} good - morning , "_{[4336-my master]} said [he]_{4336-my master} . [I]_0-i gladly advanced ; and it was not merely a cold word now , or even a shake of the hand that [I]_0-i received , but an embrace and a kiss . It seemed natural : it seemed genial to be so well loved , so caressed by [him]_{4336-my master} . " [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane look blooming , and smiling , and pretty , "_{[4336-my master]} said [he]_{4336-my master} : " truly pretty this morning . Is this [my]_{4336-my master} pale , little elf ? Is this [my]_{4336-my master} mustard - seed ? [This little sunny - faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips]_{6203-this little sunny - faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips} ; the satin - smooth hazel hair , and the radiant hazel eyes ? "_{[4336-my master]} [I]_0-i had green eyes , [reader]_496-reader ; but [you]_496-reader must excuse the mistake : for [him]_{4336-my master} they were new - dyed , [I]_0-i suppose . " It is [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " Soon to be [Jane Rochester]_368-jane , "_{[4336-my master]} [he]_{4336-my master} added : " in four weeks , [Janet]_265-janet ; not a day more . Do [you]_146-jane hear that ? "_{[4336-my master]} [I]_0-i did , and [I]_0-i could not quite comprehend it : it made [me]_0-i giddy . The feeling , the announcement sent through [me]_0-i , was something stronger than was consistent with joy - something that smote and stunned . It was , [I]_0-i think almost fear . " [You]_0-i blushed , and now [you]_0-i are white , [Jane]_368-jane : what is that for ? "_[0-i] " Because [you]_{4336-my master} gave [me]_2777-i a new name - [Jane Rochester]_368-jane ; and it seems so strange . "_[2777-i] " Yes , [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} , "_{[4336-my master]} said [he]_{4336-my master} ; " [young Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} - [[Fairfax Rochester]_{271-fairfax rochester} 's girl - bride]_{6205-fairfax rochester 's girl - bride} . "_{[4336-my master]} " It can never be , [sir]_4374-sir ; it does not sound likely . [Human beings]_{754-human beings} never enjoy complete happiness in [this world]_{4664-this world} . [I]_0-i was not born for a different destiny to the rest of [[my]_0-i species]_{6209-my species} : to imagine such a lot befalling [me]_0-i is a fairy tale - a day - dream . "_[0-i] " Which [I]_0-i can and will realise . [I]_0-i shall begin to - day . This morning [I]_0-i wrote to [[my]_0-i banker]_{6210-my banker} in [London]_31-london to send [me]_0-i certain jewels [he]_{6210-my banker} has in [his]_{6210-my banker} keeping , - heirlooms for [the ladies of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{6211-the ladies of thornfield} . In a day or two [I]_0-i hope to pour them into [your]_{6210-my banker} lap : for every privilege , every attention shall be [yours]_6212-yours that [I]_0-i would accord [[a peer]_{6213-a peer} 's daughter]_{6214-a peer 's daughter} , if about to marry [her]_{6214-a peer 's daughter} . "_[0-i] " Oh , [sir]_4374-sir ! - never rain jewels ! [I]_{4336-my master} do n't like to hear [them]_6216-them spoken of . Jewels for [Jane Eyre]_146-jane sounds unnatural and strange : [I]_{4336-my master} would rather not have them . "_{[4336-my master]} " [I]_0-i will [myself]_0-i put the diamond chain round [your]_{6210-my banker} neck , and the circlet on [your]_{6210-my banker} forehead , - which it will become : for nature , at least , has stamped [her]_6217-her patent of nobility on this brow , [Jane]_146-jane ; and [I]_0-i will clasp the bracelets on these fine wrists , and load these fairy - like fingers with rings . "_[0-i] " No , no , [sir]_4374-sir ! think of other subjects , and speak of other things , and in another strain . Do n't address [me]_0-i as if [I]_0-i were [a beauty]_{6219-a beauty} ; [I]_0-i am [[your]_{6210-my banker} plain , Quakerish governess]_{6220-your plain , quakerish governess} . "_[0-i] " [You]_{6210-my banker} are a beauty in [my]_{4336-my master} eyes , and a beauty just after the desire of [my]_{4336-my master} heart , - delicate and aerial . "_{[4336-my master]} " Puny and insignificant , [you]_2777-i mean . [You]_{6210-my banker} are dreaming , [sir]_4374-sir , - or [you]_{6210-my banker} are sneering . For [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's sake do n't be ironical ! "_[0-i] " [I]_2777-i will make [the world]_{484-the world} acknowledge [you]_0-i a beauty , too , "_[2777-i] [he]_2777-i went on , while [I]_0-i really became uneasy at the strain [he]_2777-i had adopted , because [I]_0-i felt [he]_2777-i was either deluding [himself]_2777-i or trying to delude [me]_0-i . " [I]_2777-i will attire [[my]_2777-i Jane]_{6223-my jane} in satin and lace , and [she]_{6223-my jane} shall have roses in [her]_{6223-my jane} hair ; and [I]_2777-i will cover the head [I]_2777-i love best with a priceless veil . "_[2777-i] " And then [you]_4374-sir wo n't know [me]_2778-i , [sir]_4374-sir ; and [I]_2778-i shall not be [[your]_4374-sir [Jane Eyre]_146-jane]_{6225-your jane eyre} any longer , but [an ape in a harlequin]_{6226-an ape in a harlequin} 's jacket - a jay in borrowed plumes . [I]_2778-i would as soon see [you]_4374-sir , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , tricked out in stage - trappings , as [myself]_2778-i clad in a [court - lady]_{6227-court - lady} 's robe ; and [I]_2778-i do n't call [you]_4374-sir handsome , [sir]_4374-sir , though [I]_2778-i love [you]_4374-sir most dearly : far too dearly to flatter [you]_4374-sir . Do n't flatter [me]_2778-i . "_[2778-i] [He]_2778-i pursued [his]_2778-i theme , however , without noticing [my]_0-i deprecation . " This very day [I]_2778-i shall take [you]_4374-sir in [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} to [Millcote]_44-millcote , and [you]_4374-sir must choose some dresses for [yourself]_4374-sir . [I]_2778-i told [you]_4374-sir [we]_6230-we shall be married in four weeks . The wedding is to take place quietly , in [the church down below yonder]_{6231-the church down below yonder} ; and then [I]_2778-i shall waft [you]_4374-sir away at once to [town]_5534-town . After a brief stay there , [I]_2778-i shall bear [my]_2778-i treasure to [regions nearer the sun]_{6233-regions nearer the sun} : to [French vineyards]_{6234-french vineyards} and [Italian plains]_{6235-italian plains} ; and [she]_6236-she shall see whatever is famous in old story and in modern record : [she]_6236-she shall taste , too , of the life of [cities]_6237-cities ; and [she]_6236-she shall learn to value [herself]_6236-she by just comparison with [others]_1041-others . "_[2778-i] " Shall [I]_2777-i travel ? - and with [you]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[2777-i] " [You]_4374-sir shall sojourn at [Paris]_62-paris , [Rome]_17-rome , and [Naples]_84-naples : at [Florence]_85-florence , [Venice]_86-venice , and [Vienna]_87-vienna : [all the ground [I]_0-i have wandered over]_{6240-all the ground i have wandered over} shall be re - trodden by [you]_4374-sir : wherever [I]_0-i stamped [my]_0-i hoof , [your]_4374-sir sylph 's foot shall step also . Ten years since , [I]_0-i flew through [Europe]_75-europe half mad ; with disgust , hate , and rage as [[my]_0-i companions]_{1147-my companions} : now [I]_0-i shall revisit it healed and cleansed , with [a very angel]_{6242-a very angel} as [my]_0-i comforter . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i laughed at [him]_2779-him as [he]_2779-him said this . " [I]_0-i am not [an angel]_{1108-an angel} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asserted ; " and [I]_0-i will not be one till [I]_0-i die : [I]_0-i will be [myself]_0-i . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of [me]_0-i - for [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will not get it , any more than [I]_0-i shall get it of [you]_{251-mr. rochester} : which [I]_0-i do not at all anticipate . "_[0-i] " What do [you]_2779-him anticipate of [me]_2777-i ? "_[2777-i] " For a little while [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will perhaps be as [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are now , - a very little while ; and then [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will turn cool ; and then [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will be capricious ; and then [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will be stern , and [I]_2777-i shall have much ado to please [you]_{251-mr. rochester} : but when [you]_{251-mr. rochester} get well used to [me]_2777-i , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will perhaps like [me]_2777-i again , - LIKE [me]_2777-i , [I]_2777-i say , not LOVE [me]_2777-i . [I]_2777-i suppose [your]_{251-mr. rochester} love will effervesce in six months , or less . [I]_2777-i have observed in books written by [men]_482-men , that period assigned as the farthest to which [a husband]_{6186-a husband} 's ardour extends . Yet , after all , as [a friend]_{5395-a friend} and companion , [I]_2777-i hope never to become quite distasteful to [[my]_2777-i dear master]_{6247-my dear master} . "_[2777-i] " Distasteful ! and like [you]_{251-mr. rochester} again ! [I]_2777-i think [I]_2777-i shall like [you]_{251-mr. rochester} again , and yet again : and [I]_2777-i will make [you]_{251-mr. rochester} confess [I]_2777-i do not only LIKE , but LOVE [you]_{251-mr. rochester} - with truth , fervour , constancy . "_[2777-i] " Yet are [you]_{251-mr. rochester} not capricious , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[2777-i] " To women who please [me]_2777-i only by [their]_482-men faces , [I]_2777-i am [the very devil]_{6249-the very devil} when [I]_2777-i find out [they]_482-men have neither souls nor hearts - when [they]_482-men open to [me]_2777-i a perspective of flatness , triviality , and perhaps imbecility , coarseness , and ill - temper : but to the clear eye and eloquent tongue , to the soul made of fire , and [the character that bends but does not break - at once supple and stable , tractable and consistent]_{6250-the character that bends but does not break - at once supple and stable , tractable and consistent} - [I]_2777-i am ever tender and true . "_[2777-i] " Had [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ever experience of such a character , [sir]_4374-sir ? Did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ever love [such an one]_{6252-such an one} ? "_[2777-i] " [I]_2777-i love it now . "_[2777-i] " But before [me]_2777-i : if [I]_2777-i , indeed , in any respect come up to [your]_{251-mr. rochester} difficult standard ? "_[2777-i] " [I]_2777-i never met [your]_{251-mr. rochester} likeness . [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} please [me]_2777-i , and [you]_{251-mr. rochester} master [me]_2777-i - [you]_{251-mr. rochester} seem to submit , and [I]_2777-i like the sense of pliancy [you]_{251-mr. rochester} impart ; and while [I]_2777-i am twining the soft , silken skein round [my]_2777-i finger , it sends a thrill up [my]_2777-i arm to [my]_2777-i heart . [I]_2777-i am influenced - conquered ; and the influence is sweeter than [I]_2777-i can express ; and the conquest [I]_2777-i undergo has a witchery beyond any triumph [I]_2777-i can win . Why do [you]_{251-mr. rochester} smile , [Jane]_146-jane ? What does that inexplicable , that uncanny turn of countenance mean ? "_[2777-i] " [I]_2777-i was thinking , [sir]_4374-sir [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will excuse the idea ; it was involuntary , [I]_2777-i was thinking of [Hercules]_369-hercules and [Samson]_198-sam with [[their]_6254-their charmers]_{6255-their charmers} - "_[2777-i] " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} were , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} little elfish - "_[2777-i] " Hush , [sir]_4374-sir ! [You]_{251-mr. rochester} do n't talk very wisely just now ; any more than [those gentlemen]_{6257-those gentlemen} acted very wisely . However , had [they]_{6257-those gentlemen} been married , [they]_{6257-those gentlemen} would no doubt by [their]_{6257-those gentlemen} severity as [husbands]_{6258-husbands} have made up for [their]_{6257-those gentlemen} softness as [suitors]_6259-suitors ; and so will [you]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_2777-i fear . [I]_2777-i wonder how [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will answer [me]_2777-i a year hence , should [I]_2777-i ask a favour it does not suit [your]_{251-mr. rochester} convenience or pleasure to grant . "_[2777-i] " Ask [me]_2777-i something now , [Jane]_146-jane , - the least thing : [I]_2777-i desire to be entreated - "_[2777-i] " Indeed [I]_2777-i will , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_2777-i have [my]_2777-i petition all ready . "_[2777-i] " Speak ! But if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} look up and smile with that countenance , [I]_2777-i shall swear concession before [I]_2777-i know to what , and that will make a fool of [me]_2777-i . "_[2777-i] " Not at all , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_2777-i ask only this : do n't send for the jewels , and do n't crown [me]_2777-i with roses : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} might as well put a border of gold lace round that plain pocket handkerchief [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have there . "_[2777-i] " [I]_2777-i might as well ' gild refined gold . ' [I]_2777-i know it : [your]_{251-mr. rochester} request is granted then - for the time . [I]_2777-i will remand the order [I]_2777-i despatched to [[my]_2777-i banker]_{6210-my banker} . But [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have not yet asked for anything ; [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have prayed a gift to be withdrawn : try again . "_[2777-i] " Well then , [sir]_4374-sir , have the goodness to gratify [my]_2780-he curiosity , which is much piqued on one point . "_[2780-he] [He]_2780-he looked disturbed . " What ? what ? "_[2780-he] [he]_2780-he said hastily . " Curiosity is a dangerous petition : it is well [I]_2780-he have not taken a vow to accord every request - "_[2780-he] " But there can be no danger in complying with this , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[2777-i] " Utter it , [Jane]_146-jane : but [I]_2777-i wish that instead of a mere inquiry into , perhaps , a secret , it was a wish for half [my]_2777-i estate . "_[2777-i] " Now , [King Ahasuerus]_{370-king ahasuerus} ! What do [I]_2777-i want with half [[your]_{251-mr. rochester} estate]_{6265-your estate} ? Do [you]_{251-mr. rochester} think [I]_2777-i am [a Jew - usurer]_{6266-a jew - usurer} , seeking good investment in land ? [I]_2777-i would much rather have all [your]_{251-mr. rochester} confidence . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} will not exclude [me]_2777-i from [your]_{251-mr. rochester} confidence if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} admit [me]_2777-i to [your]_{251-mr. rochester} heart ? "_[2777-i] " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} are welcome to all [my]_2777-i confidence that is worth having , [Jane]_146-jane ; but for [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's sake , do n't desire a useless burden ! Do n't long for poison - do n't turn out a downright Eve on [my]_2777-i hands ! "_[2777-i] " Why not , [sir]_4374-sir ? [You]_{251-mr. rochester} have just been telling [me]_2777-i how much [you]_{251-mr. rochester} liked to be conquered , and how pleasant over - persuasion is to [you]_{251-mr. rochester} . Do n't [you]_{251-mr. rochester} think [I]_2777-i had better take advantage of the confession , and begin and coax and entreat - even cry and be sulky if necessary - for the sake of a mere essay of [my]_2777-i power ? "_[2777-i] " [I]_2777-i dare [you]_{251-mr. rochester} to any such experiment . Encroach , presume , and the game is up . "_[2777-i] " Is it , [sir]_4374-sir ? [You]_{251-mr. rochester} soon give in . How stern [you]_{251-mr. rochester} look now ! [Your]_{251-mr. rochester} eyebrows have become as thick as [my]_2777-i finger , and [your]_{251-mr. rochester} forehead resembles what , in some very astonishing poetry , [I]_2777-i once saw styled , ' a blue - piled thunderloft . ' That will be [your]_{251-mr. rochester} married look , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_2777-i suppose ? "_[2777-i] " If that will be [YOUR]_{251-mr. rochester} married look , [I]_2777-i , as [a Christian]_{6270-a christian} , will soon give up the notion of consorting with [a mere sprite or salamander]_{6271-a mere sprite or salamander} . But what had [you]_4374-sir to ask , thing , - out with it ? "_[2777-i] " There , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are less than civil now ; and [I]_2777-i like rudeness a great deal better than flattery . [I]_2777-i had rather be [a THING]_{6272-a thing} than [an angel]_{1108-an angel} . This is what [I]_2777-i have to ask , - Why did [you]_4374-sir take such pains to make [me]_2777-i believe [you]_4374-sir wished to marry [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ? "_[2777-i] " Is that all ? Thank God it is no worse ! "_[2777-i] And now [he]_2781-i unknit [his]_2781-i black brows ; looked down , smiling at [me]_0-i , and stroked [my]_0-i hair , as if well pleased at seeing a danger averted . " [I]_2781-i think [I]_2781-i may confess , "_[2781-i] [he]_2781-i continued , " even although [I]_2781-i should make [you]_0-i a little indignant , [Jane]_146-jane - and [I]_2781-i have seen what a fire - spirit [you]_0-i can be when [you]_0-i are indignant . [You]_0-i glowed in the cool moonlight last night , when [you]_0-i mutinied against fate , and claimed [your]_0-i rank as [[my]_2781-i equal]_{6183-my equal} . [Janet]_265-janet , by - the - bye , it was [you]_0-i who made [me]_2781-i the offer . "_[2781-i] " Of course [I]_2777-i did . But to the point if [you]_0-i please , [sir]_4374-sir - [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} ? "_[2777-i] " Well , [I]_2777-i feigned courtship of [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} , because [I]_2777-i wished to render [you]_0-i as madly in love with [me]_2777-i as [I]_2777-i was with [you]_0-i ; and [I]_2777-i knew jealousy would be the best ally [I]_2777-i could call in for the furtherance of that end . "_[2777-i] " Excellent ! Now [you]_0-i are small - not one whit bigger than the end of [my]_2781-i little finger . It was a burning shame and a scandalous disgrace to act in that way . Did [you]_0-i think nothing of [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} 's feelings , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[2781-i] " [Her]_{297-miss ingram} feelings are concentrated in one - pride ; and that needs humbling . Were [you]_0-i jealous , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[2777-i] " Never mind , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : it is in no way interesting to [you]_0-i to know that . Answer [me]_2777-i truly once more . Do [you]_0-i think [Miss Ingram]_{297-miss ingram} will not suffer from [your]_0-i dishonest coquetry ? Wo n't [she]_{297-miss ingram} feel forsaken and deserted ? "_[2777-i] " Impossible ! - when [I]_2781-i told [you]_0-i how [she]_{297-miss ingram} , on the contrary , deserted [me]_2781-i : the idea of [my]_2781-i insolvency cooled , or rather extinguished , [her]_{297-miss ingram} flame in a moment . "_[2781-i] " [You]_0-i have a curious , designing mind , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_2777-i am afraid [your]_0-i principles on some points are eccentric . "_[2777-i] " [My]_2777-i principles were never trained , [Jane]_146-jane : they may have grown a little awry for want of attention . "_[2777-i] " Once again , seriously ; may [I]_2781-i enjoy the great good that has been vouchsafed to [me]_2781-i , without fearing that [any one else]_{4384-any one else} is suffering the bitter pain [I]_2781-i [myself]_2781-i felt a while ago ? "_[2781-i] " That [you]_146-jane may , [[my]_0-i good little girl]_{6278-my good little girl} : there is not another being in [the world]_{484-the world} has the same pure love for [me]_0-i as [yourself]_146-jane - for [I]_0-i lay that pleasant unction to [my]_0-i soul , [Jane]_146-jane , a belief in [your]_146-jane affection . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i turned [my]_0-i lips to the hand that lay on [my]_0-i shoulder . [I]_0-i loved [him]_2782-he very much - more than [I]_0-i could trust [myself]_0-i to say - more than words had power to express . " Ask something more , "_[2782-he] [he]_2782-he said presently ; " it is [my]_2782-he delight to be entreated , and to yield . "_[2782-he] [I]_0-i was again ready with [my]_0-i request . " Communicate [your]_146-jane intentions to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [sir]_4374-sir : [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} saw [me]_0-i with [you]_146-jane last night in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , and [she]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was shocked . Give [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} some explanation before [I]_0-i see [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} again . It pains [me]_0-i to be misjudged by [so good a woman]_{6282-so good a woman} . "_[0-i] " Go to [[your]_146-jane room]_{4973-your room} , and put on [your]_146-jane bonnet , "_[2782-he] [he]_2782-he replied . " [I]_2782-he mean [you]_146-jane to accompany [me]_2782-he to [Millcote]_44-millcote this morning ; and while [you]_146-jane prepare for the drive , [I]_2782-he will enlighten [the old lady]_{1406-the old lady} 's understanding . Did [she]_{1406-the old lady} think , [Janet]_265-janet , [you]_265-janet had given [the world]_{484-the world} for love , and considered it well lost ? "_[2782-he] " [I]_{1406-the old lady} believe [she]_{1406-the old lady} thought [I]_{1406-the old lady} had forgotten [[my]_{1406-the old lady} station]_{6286-my station} , and [yours]_265-janet , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[1406-the old lady]} " Station ! [station]_6288-station ! - [[your]_265-janet station]_{6289-your station} is in [my]_0-i heart , and on the necks of those who would insult [you]_265-janet , now or hereafter . - Go . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was soon dressed ; and when [I]_0-i heard [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} quit [[Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's parlour]_{1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour} , [I]_0-i hurried down to [it]_{1600-mrs. fairfax 's parlour} . [The old lady]_{1406-the old lady} , had been reading [her]_{1406-the old lady} morning portion of Scripture - the Lesson for the day ; [her]_{1406-the old lady} Bible lay open before [her]_{1406-the old lady} , and [her]_{1406-the old lady} spectacles were upon it . [Her]_{1406-the old lady} occupation , suspended by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's announcement , seemed now forgotten : [her]_{1406-the old lady} eyes , fixed on the blank wall opposite , expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred by unwonted tidings . Seeing [me]_0-i , [she]_{1406-the old lady} roused [herself]_{1406-the old lady} : [she]_{1406-the old lady} made a sort of effort to smile , and framed a few words of congratulation ; but the smile expired , and the sentence was abandoned unfinished . [She]_{1406-the old lady} put up [her]_{1406-the old lady} spectacles , shut the Bible , and pushed [her]_{1406-the old lady} chair back from the table . " [I]_{1406-the old lady} feel so astonished , "_{[1406-the old lady]} [she]_{1406-the old lady} began , " [I]_{1406-the old lady} hardly know what to say to [you]_0-i , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane . [I]_{1406-the old lady} have surely not been dreaming , have [I]_{1406-the old lady} ? Sometimes [I]_{1406-the old lady} half fall asleep when [I]_{1406-the old lady} am sitting alone and fancy things that have never happened . It has seemed to [me]_{1406-the old lady} more than once when [I]_{1406-the old lady} have been in a doze , that [[my]_{1406-the old lady} dear husband]_{6290-my dear husband} , who died fifteen years since , has come in and sat down beside [me]_{1406-the old lady} ; and that [I]_{1406-the old lady} have even heard [him]_{6290-my dear husband} call [me]_{1406-the old lady} by [my]_{1406-the old lady} name , [Alice]_371-alice , as [he]_{6290-my dear husband} used to do . Now , can [you]_0-i tell [me]_{1406-the old lady} whether it is actually true that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has asked [you]_0-i to marry [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Do n't laugh at [me]_{1406-the old lady} . But [I]_{1406-the old lady} really thought [he]_{251-mr. rochester} came in [here]_4312-here five minutes ago , and said that in a month [you]_0-i would be [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} wife]_{4986-his wife} . "_{[1406-the old lady]} " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} has said the same thing to [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i replied . " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} has ! Do [you]_2785-she believe [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Have [you]_2785-she accepted [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[0-i] " Yes . "_[2785-she] [She]_2785-she looked at [me]_0-i bewildered . " [I]_2785-she could never have thought it . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is [a proud man]_{6293-a proud man} : [all the Rochesters]_{6294-all the rochesters} were proud : and [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} father]_{5218-his father} , at least , liked money . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} , too , has always been called careful . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} means to marry [you]_0-i ? "_[2785-she] " [He]_{251-mr. rochester} tells [me]_2785-she so . "_[2785-she] [She]_2785-she surveyed [[my]_0-i whole person]_{2786-my whole person} : in [her]_2785-she eyes [I]_0-i read that [they]_2787-they had there found no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma . " It passes [me]_2785-she ! "_[2785-she] [she]_2785-she continued ; " but no doubt , it is true since [you]_0-i say so . How it will answer , [I]_2785-she can not tell : [I]_2785-she really do n't know . Equality of position and fortune is often advisable in such cases ; and there are twenty years of difference in [your]_0-i ages . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} might almost be [[your]_0-i father]_{4318-your father} . "_[2785-she] " No , indeed , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! "_[0-i] exclaimed [I]_0-i , nettled ; " [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is nothing like [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} ! [No one]_{593-no one} , who saw [us]_6299-us together , would suppose it for an instant . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} looks as young , and is as young , as [some men at five - and - twenty]_{6300-some men at five - and - twenty} . "_[0-i] " Is it really for love [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is going to marry [you]_0-i ? "_[2785-she] [she]_2785-she asked . [I]_0-i was so hurt by [her]_2785-she coldness and scepticism , that the tears rose to [my]_0-i eyes . " [I]_{1549-the widow} am sorry to grieve [you]_0-i , "_{[1549-the widow]} pursued [the widow]_{1549-the widow} ; " but [you]_0-i are so young , and so little acquainted with [men]_482-men , [I]_{1549-the widow} wished to put [you]_0-i on [your]_0-i guard . It is an old saying that ' all is not gold that glitters ; ' and in this case [I]_{1549-the widow} do fear there will be something found to be different to what either [you]_0-i or [I]_{1549-the widow} expect . "_{[1549-the widow]} " Why ? - am [I]_0-i [a monster]_{6302-a monster} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said : " is it impossible that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} should have a sincere affection for [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " No : [you]_0-i are very well ; and much improved of late ; and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_{1549-the widow} daresay , is fond of [you]_0-i . [I]_{1549-the widow} have always noticed that [you]_0-i were a sort of pet of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} . There are times when , for [your]_0-i sake , [I]_{1549-the widow} have been a little uneasy at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} marked preference , and have wished to put [you]_0-i on [your]_0-i guard : but [I]_{1549-the widow} did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong . [I]_{1549-the widow} knew such an idea would shock , perhaps offend [you]_0-i ; and [you]_0-i were so discreet , and so thoroughly modest and sensible , [I]_{1549-the widow} hoped [you]_0-i might be trusted to protect [yourself]_0-i . Last night [I]_{1549-the widow} can not tell [you]_0-i what [I]_{1549-the widow} suffered when [I]_{1549-the widow} sought all over [the house]_{4322-the house} , and could find [you]_0-i nowhere , nor [the master]_{540-the master} either ; and then , at twelve o'clock , saw [you]_0-i come in with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_{[1549-the widow]} " Well , never mind that now , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i interrupted impatiently ; " it is enough that all was right . "_[0-i] " [I]_2789-i hope all will be right in the end , "_[2789-i] [she]_2789-i said : " but believe [me]_2789-i , [you]_0-i can not be too careful . Try and keep [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} at a distance : distrust [yourself]_0-i as well as [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [Gentlemen in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} station]_{6305-gentlemen in his station} are not accustomed to marry [[their]_{6305-gentlemen in his station} governesses]_{6306-their governesses} . "_[2789-i] [I]_0-i was growing truly irritated : happily , [Adele]_259-adele ran in . " Let [me]_259-adele go , - let [me]_259-adele go to [Millcote]_44-millcote too ! "_[259-adele] [she]_259-adele cried . " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} wo n't : though there is so much room in [the new carriage]_{6307-the new carriage} . Beg [him]_{251-mr. rochester} to let [me]_259-adele go mademoiselle . "_[259-adele] " That [I]_0-i will , [Adele]_259-adele ; "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i hastened away with [her]_259-adele , glad to quit [my]_0-i gloomy monitress . [The carriage]_{654-the carriage} was ready : [they]_2791-they were bringing [it]_{654-the carriage} round to the front , and [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} was on the pavement , [Pilot]_267-pilot following [him]_{4336-my master} backwards and forwards . " [Adele]_259-adele may accompany [us]_2791-they , may [she]_259-adele not , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[267-pilot] " [I]_267-pilot told [her]_259-adele no . [I]_267-pilot 'll have [no brats]_{6309-no brats} ! - [I]_267-pilot 'll have only [you]_267-pilot . "_[267-pilot] " Do let [her]_259-adele go , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} please : it would be better . "_[267-pilot] " Not it : [she]_259-adele will be a restraint . "_{[4336-my master]} [He]_{4336-my master} was quite peremptory , both in look and voice . The chill of [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's warnings , and the damp of [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} doubts were upon [me]_0-i : something of unsubstantiality and uncertainty had beset [my]_0-i hopes . [I]_0-i half lost the sense of power over [him]_{4336-my master} . [I]_0-i was about mechanically to obey [him]_{4336-my master} , without further remonstrance ; but as [he]_{4336-my master} helped [me]_0-i into [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} , [he]_{4336-my master} looked at [my]_0-i face . " What is the matter ? "_{[4336-my master]} [he]_{4336-my master} asked ; " all the sunshine is gone . Do [you]_0-i really wish [the bairn]_{6310-the bairn} to go ? Will it annoy [you]_0-i if [she]_{6310-the bairn} is left behind ? "_{[4336-my master]} " [I]_{4336-my master} would far rather [she]_{6310-the bairn} went , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[4336-my master]} " Then off for [your]_259-adele bonnet , and back like a flash of lightning ! "_{[4336-my master]} cried [he]_{4336-my master} to [Adele]_259-adele . [She]_259-adele obeyed [him]_{4336-my master} with what speed [she]_259-adele might . " After all , a single morning 's interruption will not matter much , "_{[4336-my master]} said [he]_{4336-my master} , " when [I]_{4336-my master} mean shortly to claim [you]_259-adele - [your]_259-adele thoughts , conversation , and company - for life . "_{[4336-my master]} [Adele]_259-adele , when lifted in , commenced kissing [me]_0-i , by way of expressing [her]_259-adele gratitude for [my]_0-i intercession : [she]_259-adele was instantly stowed away into a corner on [the other side of [him]_{4336-my master}]_{2794-the other side of him} . [She]_259-adele then peeped round to where [I]_0-i sat ; so stern [a neighbour]_{2795-a neighbour} was too restrictive to [him]_{4336-my master} , in [his]_{4336-my master} present fractious mood , [she]_259-adele dared whisper no observations , nor ask of [him]_{4336-my master} any information . " Let [her]_259-adele come to [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i entreated : ' [she]_259-adele will , perhaps , trouble [you]_{4336-my master} , [sir]_4374-sir : there is plenty of room on this side . " [He]_{4336-my master} handed [her]_259-adele over as if [she]_259-adele had been a lapdog . "_[259-adele] [I]_0-i 'll send [her]_259-adele to [school]_537-school yet , " [he]_{4336-my master} said , but now [he]_{4336-my master} was smiling . [Adele]_259-adele heard [him]_{4336-my master} , and asked if [she]_259-adele was to go to [school]_537-school ' sans mademoiselle ? "_[259-adele] " Yes , "_[0-i] [he]_0-i replied , " absolutely sans mademoiselle ; for [I]_0-i am to take mademoiselle to the moon , and there [I]_0-i shall seek [a cave in one of [the white valleys among the volcano - tops]_{6314-the white valleys among the volcano - tops}]_{6313-a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano - tops} , and mademoiselle shall live with [me]_0-i [there]_4426-there , and only [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] " [She]_259-adele will have nothing to eat : [you]_0-i will starve [her]_259-adele , "_[259-adele] observed [Adele]_259-adele . " [I]_259-adele shall gather [manna]_6316-manna for [her]_259-adele morning and night : [the plains]_{6317-the plains} and [hillsides in the moon]_{6318-hillsides in the moon} are bleached with manna , [Adele]_259-adele . "_[259-adele] " [She]_259-adele will want to warm [herself]_259-adele : what will [she]_259-adele do for a fire ? "_[0-i] " Fire rises out of [the lunar mountains]_{6319-the lunar mountains} : when [she]_259-adele is cold , [I]_0-i 'll carry [her]_259-adele up to a peak , and lay [her]_259-adele down on the edge of a crater . "_[0-i] " Oh , qu ' elle y sera mal - peu comfortable ! And [her]_259-adele clothes , [they]_6320-they will wear out : how can [she]_259-adele get new ones ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} professed to be puzzled . " [Hem]_372-hem ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} . " What would [you]_259-adele do , [Adele]_259-adele ? Cudgel [your]_259-adele brains for an expedient . How would a white or a pink cloud answer for a gown , do [you]_259-adele think ? And one could cut a pretty enough scarf out of a rainbow . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [She]_259-adele is far better as [she]_259-adele is , "_[259-adele] concluded [Adele]_259-adele , after musing some time : " besides , [she]_259-adele would get tired of living with only [you]_259-adele in [the moon]_{6321-the moon} . If [I]_259-adele were mademoiselle , [I]_259-adele would never consent to go with [you]_259-adele . "_[259-adele] " [She]_259-adele has consented : [she]_259-adele has pledged [her]_259-adele word . "_[0-i] " But [you]_259-adele ca n't get [her]_259-adele [there]_4426-there ; there is [no road]_{6323-no road} to [the moon]_{6321-the moon} : it is all air ; and neither [you]_259-adele nor [she]_259-adele can fly . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Adele]_259-adele , look at [that field]_{6325-that field} . "_[259-adele] [We]_2798-we were now outside [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} gates , and bowling lightly along [the smooth road]_{2799-the smooth road} to [Millcote]_44-millcote , where the dust was well laid by the thunderstorm , and , where the low hedges and lofty timber trees on each side glistened green and rain - refreshed . " In [that field]_{6325-that field} , [Adele]_259-adele , [I]_2800-i was walking late one evening about a fortnight since - the evening of the day [you]_259-adele helped [me]_2800-i to make hay in [the orchard meadows]_{6327-the orchard meadows} ; and , as [I]_2800-i was tired with raking swaths , [I]_2800-i sat down to rest [me]_2800-i on a stile ; and there [I]_2800-i took out a little book and a pencil , and began to write about a misfortune that befell [me]_2800-i long ago , and a wish [I]_2800-i had for happy days to come : [I]_2800-i was writing away very fast , though daylight was fading from the leaf , when something came up the path and stopped two yards off [me]_2800-i . [I]_2800-i looked at it . It was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its head . [I]_2800-i beckoned it to come near [me]_2800-i ; it stood soon at [my]_2800-i knee . [I]_2800-i never spoke to it , and it never spoke to [me]_2800-i , in words ; but [I]_2800-i read its eyes , and it read [mine]_2800-i ; and [our]_6328-our speechless colloquy was to this effect - "_[2800-i] [It]_2800-i was [a fairy]_{2801-a fairy} , and come from [Elf - land]_{2802-elf - land} , it said ; and [its]_2800-i errand was to make [me]_0-i happy : [I]_0-i must go with [it]_2800-i out of [the common world]_{2803-the common world} to [a lonely place]_{2804-a lonely place} - such as [the moon]_{6321-the moon} , for instance - and it nodded its head towards [her]_2800-i horn , rising over [Hay - hill]_{2806-hay - hill} : it told [me]_0-i of [the alabaster cave]_{2807-the alabaster cave} and silver vale where [we]_2808-we might live . [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i should like to go ; but reminded it , as [you]_2809-you did [me]_0-i , that [I]_0-i had no wings to fly . " ' Oh , ' returned [the fairy]_{6329-the fairy} , ' that does not signify ! Here is a talisman will remove all difficulties ; ' and [she]_{6329-the fairy} held out a pretty gold ring . ' Put it , ' [she]_{6329-the fairy} said , ' on the fourth finger of [my]_2809-you left hand , and [I]_2809-you am [yours]_2809-you , and [you]_2809-you are mine ; and [we]_2808-we shall leave [earth]_478-earth , and make [our]_2808-we own heaven yonder . ' [She]_{6329-the fairy} nodded again at the moon . The ring , [Adele]_259-adele , is in [my]_2809-you breeches - pocket , under the disguise of [a sovereign]_{6331-a sovereign} : but [I]_2809-you mean soon to change it to a ring again . "_[2809-you] " But what has mademoiselle to do with it ? [I]_2811-she do n't care for [the fairy]_{6329-the fairy} : [you]_2809-you said it was mademoiselle [you]_2809-you would take to [the moon]_{6321-the moon} ? "_[2811-she] " [Mademoiselle]_{255-mademoiselle} is [a fairy]_{2801-a fairy} , "_[2810-he] [he]_2810-he said , whispering mysteriously . Whereupon [I]_0-i told [her]_2811-she not to mind [his]_2810-he badinage ; and [she]_2811-she , on [her]_2811-she part , evinced a fund of genuine French scepticism : denominating [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} " un vrai menteur , "_[2811-she] and assuring [him]_2810-he that [she]_2811-she made no account whatever of [his]_2810-he " contes de fee , "_[2811-she] and that " du reste , il n'y avait pas de fees , et quand meme il y en avait : "_[2811-she] [she]_2811-she was sure [they]_2812-they would never appear to [him]_2810-he , nor ever give [him]_2810-he rings , or offer to live with [him]_2810-he in the moon . The hour spent at [Millcote]_44-millcote was a somewhat harassing one to [me]_0-i . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} obliged [me]_0-i to go to [a certain silk warehouse]_{2813-a certain silk warehouse} : there [I]_0-i was ordered to choose half - a - dozen dresses . [I]_0-i hated the business , [I]_0-i begged leave to defer it : no - it should be gone through with now . By dint of entreaties expressed in energetic whispers , [I]_0-i reduced the half - dozen to two : these however , [he]_2810-he vowed [he]_2810-he would select [himself]_2810-he . With anxiety [I]_0-i watched [his]_2810-he eye rove over [the gay stores]_{2814-the gay stores} : [he]_2810-he fixed on a rich silk of the most brilliant amethyst dye , and a superb pink satin . [I]_0-i told [him]_2810-he in a new series of whispers , that [he]_2810-he might as well buy [me]_0-i a gold gown and a silver bonnet at once : [I]_0-i should certainly never venture to wear [his]_2810-he choice . With infinite difficulty , for [he]_2810-he was stubborn as a stone , [I]_0-i persuaded [him]_2810-he to make an exchange in favour of a sober black satin and pearl - grey silk . " It might pass for the present , "_[2810-he] [he]_2810-he said ; " but [he]_2810-he would yet see [me]_2810-he glittering like a parterre . "_[2810-he] Glad was [I]_0-i to get [him]_2810-he out of [the silk warehouse]_{2815-the silk warehouse} , and then out of [a jewellers shop]_{2816-a jewellers shop} : the more [he]_2810-he bought [me]_0-i , the more [my]_0-i cheek burned with a sense of annoyance and degradation . As [we]_2817-we re - entered [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} , and [I]_0-i sat back feverish and fagged , [I]_0-i remembered what , in the hurry of events , dark and bright , [I]_0-i had wholly forgotten - the letter of [[my]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} , [John Eyre]_360-john , to [Mrs. Reed]_{156-mrs. reed} : [his]_{4421-my uncle} intention to adopt [me]_0-i and make [me]_0-i [[his]_{4421-my uncle} legatee]_{2820-his legatee} . " It would , indeed , be a relief , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought , " if [I]_0-i had ever so small an independency ; [I]_0-i never can bear being dressed like a doll by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , or sitting like [a second Danae]_{6335-a second danae} with the golden shower falling daily round [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i will write to [Madeira]_245-madeira the moment [I]_0-i get [home]_509-home , and tell [[my]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} [John]_360-john [I]_0-i am going to be married , and to whom : if [I]_0-i had but a prospect of one day bringing [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} an accession of fortune , [I]_0-i could better endure to be kept by [him]_{251-mr. rochester} now . "_[0-i] And somewhat relieved by this idea which [I]_0-i failed not to execute that day , [I]_0-i ventured once more to meet [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's and [lover]_2822-lover 's eye , which most pertinaciously sought mine , though [I]_0-i averted both face and gaze . [He]_2823-you smiled ; and [I]_0-i thought [his]_2823-you smile was such as [a sultan]_{2824-a sultan} might , in a blissful and fond moment , bestow on [a slave [his]_{2824-a sultan} gold and gems had enriched]_{2825-a slave his gold and gems had enriched} : [I]_0-i crushed [his]_2823-you hand , which was ever hunting [mine]_0-i , vigorously , and thrust it back to [him]_2823-you red with the passionate pressure . " [You]_2823-you need not look in that way , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said ; " if [you]_2823-you do , [I]_0-i 'll wear nothing but [my]_0-i old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter . [I]_0-i 'll be married in this lilac gingham : [you]_2823-you may make a dressing - gown for [yourself]_2823-you out of the pearl - grey silk , and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black satin . "_[0-i] [He]_2823-you chuckled ; [he]_2823-you rubbed [his]_2823-you hands . " Oh , it is rich to see and hear [her]_6338-she ? "_[2823-you] [he]_2823-you exclaimed . " Is [she]_6338-she original ? Is [she]_6338-she piquant ? [I]_2823-you would not exchange [this one little English girl]_{6339-this one little english girl} for [the Grand Turk]_{6340-the grand turk} 's whole seraglio , gazelle - eyes , houri forms , and all ! "_[2823-you] The Eastern allusion bit [me]_0-i again . " [I]_0-i 'll not stand [you]_2823-you an inch in the stead of [a seraglio]_{6341-a seraglio} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said ; ' so do n't consider [me]_0-i [an equivalent for one]_{2826-an equivalent for one} . If [you]_2823-you have a fancy for anything in that line , away with [you]_2823-you , [sir]_4374-sir , to [the bazaars of [Stamboul]_89-stamboul]_{2828-the bazaars of stamboul} without delay , and lay out in extensive slave - purchases some of that spare cash [you]_2823-you seem at a loss to spend satisfactorily here . " "_[2823-you] And what will [you]_2823-you do , [Janet]_265-janet , while [I]_0-i am bargaining for so many tons of flesh and such an assortment of black eyes ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'll be preparing [myself]_0-i to go out as [a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} to preach liberty to [them]_2830-them that are enslaved - [[your]_2823-you harem inmates]_{2831-your harem inmates} amongst the rest . [I]_0-i 'll get admitted [there]_4426-there , and [I]_0-i 'll stir up mutiny ; and [you]_2823-you , three - tailed bashaw as [you]_2823-you are , [sir]_4374-sir , shall in a trice find [yourself]_2823-you fettered amongst [our]_2834-our hands : nor will [I]_0-i , for one , consent to cut [your]_2823-you bonds till [you]_2823-you have signed a charter , the most liberal [that despot ever yet conferred]_{2835-that despot ever yet conferred} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would consent to be at [your]_2823-you mercy , [Jane]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i would have no mercy , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , if [you]_2823-you supplicated for it with an eye like that . While [you]_2823-you looked so , [I]_0-i should be certain that whatever charter [you]_2823-you might grant under coercion , [your]_2823-you first act , when released , would be to violate its conditions . " "_[2823-you] Why , [Jane]_146-jane , what would [you]_2823-you have ? [I]_0-i fear [you]_2823-you will compel [me]_0-i to go through a private marriage ceremony , besides that performed at the altar . [You]_2823-you will stipulate , [I]_0-i see , for peculiar terms - what will they be ? " "_[2823-you] [I]_0-i only want an easy mind , [sir]_4374-sir ; not crushed by crowded obligations . Do [you]_2823-you remember what [you]_2823-you said of [Celine Varens]_281-celine ? - of the diamonds , the cashmeres [you]_2823-you gave [her]_281-celine ? [I]_0-i will not be [your]_2823-you English Celine [Varens]_281-celine . [I]_0-i shall continue to act as [[Adele]_259-adele 's governess]_{2837-adele 's governess} ; by that [I]_0-i shall earn [my]_0-i board and lodging , and thirty pounds a year besides . [I]_0-i 'll furnish [my]_0-i own wardrobe out of that money , and [you]_2823-you shall give [me]_0-i nothing but - " "_[2823-you] Well , but what ? " "_[2823-you] [Your]_2823-you regard ; and if [I]_0-i give [you]_2823-you [mine]_0-i in return , that debt will be quit . " "_[2823-you] Well , for cool native impudence and pure innate pride , [you]_2823-you have n't [[your]_2823-you equal]_{5288-your equal} , " said [he]_0-i . [We]_6342-we were now approaching [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . "_[2823-you] Will it please [you]_2823-you to dine with [me]_0-i to - day ? " [he]_0-i asked , as [we]_6342-we re - entered the gates . "_[2823-you] No , thank [you]_2823-you , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[2823-you] And what for , ' no , thank [you]_2823-you ? ' if [one]_4415-one may inquire . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never have dined with [you]_2823-you , [sir]_4374-sir : and [I]_0-i see no reason why [I]_0-i should now : till - " "_[0-i] Till what ? [You]_2823-you delight in half - phrases . " "_[2823-you] Till [I]_0-i ca n't help it . " "_[0-i] Do [you]_2823-you suppose [I]_0-i eat like [an ogre or a ghoul]_{2842-an ogre or a ghoul} , that [you]_2823-you dread being [the companion of [my]_0-i repast]_{2843-the companion of my repast} ? " "_[2823-you] [I]_0-i have formed no supposition on the subject , [sir]_4374-sir ; but [I]_0-i want to go on as usual for another month . " "_[2823-you] [You]_2823-you will give up [your]_2823-you governessing slavery at once . " "_[2823-you] Indeed , begging [your]_2823-you pardon , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i shall not . [I]_0-i shall just go on with it as usual . [I]_0-i shall keep out of [your]_2823-you way all day , as [I]_0-i have been accustomed to do : [you]_2823-you may send for [me]_0-i in the evening , when [you]_2823-you feel disposed to see [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i 'll come then ; but at no other time . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i want a smoke , [Jane]_146-jane , or a pinch of snuff , to comfort [me]_0-i under all this , ' pour [me]_0-i donner une contenance , ' as [Adele]_259-adele would say ; and unfortunately [I]_0-i have neither [my]_0-i cigar - case , nor [my]_0-i snuff - box . But listen - whisper . It is [your]_2823-you time now , [little tyrant]_{2846-little tyrant} , but it will be [mine]_0-i presently ; and when once [I]_0-i have fairly seized [you]_2823-you , to have and to hold , [I]_0-i 'll just - figuratively speaking - attach [you]_2823-you to a chain like this " touching [his]_0-i watch - guard . "_[0-i] Yes , [bonny wee thing]_{2847-bonny wee thing} , [I]_0-i 'll wear [you]_2823-you in [my]_0-i bosom , lest [my]_0-i jewel [I]_0-i should tyne . " [He]_0-i said this as [he]_0-i helped [me]_0-i to alight from [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} , and while [he]_0-i afterwards lifted out [Adele]_259-adele , [I]_0-i entered [the house]_{4322-the house} , and made good [my]_0-i retreat [upstairs]_552-upstairs . [He]_0-i duly summoned [me]_0-i to [his]_0-i presence in the evening . [I]_0-i had prepared an occupation for [him]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i was determined not to spend the whole time in a tete - e - tete conversation . [I]_0-i remembered [his]_0-i fine voice ; [I]_0-i knew [he]_0-i liked to sing - [good singers]_{6346-good singers} generally do . [I]_0-i was [no vocalist]_{6347-no vocalist} [myself]_0-i , and , in [his]_0-i fastidious judgment , [no musician]_{6348-no musician} , either ; but [I]_0-i delighted in listening when the performance was good . No sooner had twilight , that hour of romance , began to lower [her]_6349-her blue and starry banner over the lattice , than [I]_0-i rose , opened the piano , and entreated [him]_0-i , for the love of heaven , to give [me]_0-i a song . [He]_0-i said [I]_0-i was [a capricious witch]_{6350-a capricious witch} , and that [he]_0-i would rather sing another time ; but [I]_0-i averred that no time was like the present . "_[0-i] Did [I]_0-i like [his]_0-i voice ? " [he]_0-i asked . "_[0-i] Very much . " [I]_0-i was not fond of pampering that susceptible vanity of [his]_0-i ; but for once , and from motives of expediency , [I]_0-i would e'en soothe and stimulate it . "_[0-i] Then , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane must play the accompaniment . " "_[146-jane] Very well , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i will try . " [I]_{2849-a little bungler} did try , but was presently swept off the stool and denominated "_{[2849-a little bungler]} [a little bungler]_{2849-a little bungler} . " Being pushed unceremoniously to one side - which was precisely what [I]_{2849-a little bungler} wished - [he]_0-i usurped [my]_{2849-a little bungler} place , and proceeded to accompany [himself]_0-i : for [he]_0-i could play as well as sing . [I]_{2849-a little bungler} hied [me]_{2849-a little bungler} to the window - recess . And while [I]_{2849-a little bungler} sat there and looked out on the still trees and [dim lawn]_{6351-dim lawn} , to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following strain:- "_{[2849-a little bungler]} The truest love that ever heart Felt at its kindled core , Did through each vein , in quickened start , The tide of being pour . " [Her]_6352-her coming was [my]_0-i hope each day , [Her]_6352-her parting was [my]_0-i pain ; The chance that did [her]_6352-her steps delay Was ice in every vein . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i dreamed it would be nameless bliss , As [I]_0-i loved , loved to be ; And to this object did [I]_0-i press As blind as eagerly . " But wide as pathless was the space That lay [our]_2851-our lives between , And dangerous as the foamy race Of [ocean - surges green]_{6353-ocean - surges green} . "_[0-i] And haunted as a robber - path Through [wilderness or wood]_{2850-wilderness or wood} ; For Might and Right , and Woe and Wrath , Between [our]_2851-our spirits stood . " [I]_0-i dangers dared ; [I]_0-i hindrance scorned [I]_0-i omens did defy : Whatever menaced , harassed , warned , [I]_0-i passed impetuous by . "_[0-i] On sped [my]_0-i rainbow , fast as light ; [I]_0-i flew as in a dream ; For glorious rose upon [my]_0-i sight That child of Shower and Gleam . " Still bright on clouds of suffering dim Shines that soft , solemn joy ; Nor care [I]_0-i now , how dense and grim Disasters gather nigh . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i care not in this moment sweet , Though all [I]_0-i have rushed o'er Should come on pinion , strong and fleet , Proclaiming vengeance sore : " Though haughty Hate should strike [me]_0-i down , Right , bar approach to [me]_0-i , And grinding Might , with furious frown , Swear endless enmity . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i love]_{2852-my love} has placed [her]_{2852-my love} little hand With noble faith in [mine]_0-i , And vowed that wedlock 's sacred band [Our]_2851-our nature shall entwine . " [My]_0-i love has sworn , with sealing kiss , With [me]_0-i to live - to die ; [I]_0-i have at last [my]_0-i nameless bliss . As [I]_0-i love - loved am [I]_0-i ! "_[0-i] [He]_0-i rose and came towards [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i saw [his]_0-i face all kindled , and [his]_0-i full falcon - eye flashing , and tenderness and passion in every lineament . [I]_0-i quailed momentarily - then [I]_0-i rallied . Soft scene , daring demonstration , [I]_0-i would not have ; and [I]_0-i stood in peril of both : a weapon of defence must be prepared - [I]_0-i whetted [my]_0-i tongue : as [he]_0-i reached [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i asked with asperity , " whom [he]_0-i was going to marry now ? "_[0-i] " That was a strange question to be put by [[his]_0-i darling]_{6354-his darling} [Jane]_146-jane . "_[0-i] " Indeed ! [I]_0-i considered it a very natural and necessary one : [he]_0-i had talked of [[his]_0-i future wife]_{6355-his future wife} dying with [him]_0-i . What did [he]_0-i mean by such a pagan idea ? [I]_0-i had no intention of dying with [him]_0-i - [he]_0-i might depend on that . "_[0-i] " Oh , all [he]_0-i longed , all [he]_0-i prayed for , was that [I]_0-i might live with [him]_0-i ! Death was not for such as [I.]_0-i "_[0-i] " Indeed it was : [I]_0-i had as good a right to die when [my]_0-i time came as [he]_0-i had : but [I]_0-i should bide that time , and not be hurried away in a suttee . "_[0-i] " Would [I]_0-i forgive [him]_2853-he for the selfish idea , and prove [my]_0-i pardon by a reconciling kiss ? "_[0-i] " No : [I]_0-i would rather be excused . "_[0-i] Here [I]_0-i heard [myself]_0-i apostrophised as a " hard little thing ; "_[0-i] and it was added , " [any other woman]_{6356-any other woman} would have been melted to marrow at hearing such stanzas crooned in [her]_{6356-any other woman} praise . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i assured [him]_2853-he [I]_0-i was naturally hard - very flinty , and that [he]_2853-he would often find [me]_0-i so ; and that , moreover , [I]_0-i was determined to show [him]_2853-he divers rugged points in [my]_0-i character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed : [he]_2853-he should know fully what sort of a bargain [he]_2853-he had made , while there was yet time to rescind it . " Would [I]_2853-he be quiet and talk rationally ? "_[2853-he] " [I]_2853-he would be quiet if [he]_2853-he liked , and as to talking rationally , [I]_2853-he flattered [myself]_2853-he [I]_2853-he was doing that now . "_[2853-he] [He]_2853-he fretted , pished , and pshawed . " Very good , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought ; " [you]_2853-he may fume and fidget as [you]_2853-he please : but this is the best plan to pursue with [you]_2853-he , [I]_0-i am certain . [I]_0-i like [you]_2853-he more than [I]_0-i can say ; but [I]_0-i 'll not sink into a bathos of sentiment : and with this needle of repartee [I]_0-i 'll keep [you]_2853-he from the edge of [the gulf]_{6357-the gulf} too ; and , moreover , maintain by its pungent aid that distance between [you]_2853-he and [myself]_0-i most conducive to [our]_6358-our real mutual advantage . "_[0-i] From less to more , [I]_0-i worked [him]_2853-he up to considerable irritation ; then , after [he]_2853-he had retired , in [dudgeon]_90-dudgeon , quite to the other end of [the room]_{535-the room} , [I]_0-i got up , and saying , " [I]_0-i wish [you]_2853-he good - night , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] in [my]_0-i natural and wonted respectful manner , [I]_0-i slipped out by the side - door and got away . The system thus entered on , [I]_0-i pursued during the whole season of probation ; and with the best success . [He]_2853-he was kept , to be sure , rather cross and crusty ; but on the whole [I]_0-i could see [he]_2853-he was excellently entertained , and that a lamb - like submission and turtle - dove sensibility , while fostering [his]_2853-he despotism more , would have pleased [his]_2853-he judgment , satisfied [his]_2853-he common - sense , and even suited [his]_2853-he taste less . In [other people]_{2855-other people} 's presence [I]_0-i was , as formerly , deferential and quiet ; any other line of conduct being uncalled for : it was only in the evening conferences [I]_0-i thus thwarted and afflicted [him]_2853-he . [He]_2853-he continued to send for [me]_0-i punctually the moment the clock struck seven ; though when [I]_0-i appeared before [him]_2853-he now , [he]_2853-he had no such honeyed terms as " love "_[2853-he] and " darling "_[2853-he] on [his]_2853-he lips : the best words at [my]_0-i service were " provoking puppet , "_[2853-he] " [malicious elf]_{6360-malicious elf} , "_[2853-he] ' sprite , " "_[2853-he] changeling , " c. For caresses , too , [I]_2853-he now got grimaces ; for a pressure of the hand , a pinch on the arm ; for a kiss on the cheek , a severe tweak of the ear . It was all right : at present [I]_2853-he decidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [I]_2853-he saw , approved [me]_2853-he : [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} anxiety on [my]_2853-he account vanished ; therefore [I]_2853-he was certain [I]_2853-he did well . Meantime , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} affirmed [I]_2853-he was wearing [him]_2853-he to skin and bone , and threatened awful vengeance for [my]_2853-he present conduct at some period fast coming . [I]_2853-he laughed in [my]_2853-he sleeve at [his]_2853-he menaces . "_[2853-he] [I]_0-i can keep [you]_2853-he in reasonable check now , " [I]_0-i reflected ; "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i do n't doubt to be able to do it hereafter : if one expedient loses its virtue , another must be devised . " Yet after all [my]_{363-mrs. rochester} task was not an easy one ; often [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} would rather have pleased than teased [him]_2853-he . [[My]_{363-mrs. rochester} future husband]_{6361-my future husband} was becoming to [me]_{363-mrs. rochester} [[my]_{363-mrs. rochester} whole world]_{6362-my whole world} ; and more than [the world]_{484-the world} : almost [my]_{363-mrs. rochester} hope of heaven . [He]_2853-he stood between [me]_{363-mrs. rochester} and every thought of religion , as an eclipse intervenes between [man]_4667-man and the broad sun . [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} could not , in those days , see [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} for [His]_2853-he creature : of whom [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} had made [an idol]_{6365-an idol} . CHAPTER XXV The month of courtship had wasted : its very last hours were being numbered . There was no putting off the day that advanced - the bridal day ; and all preparations for its arrival were complete . [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} , at least , had nothing more to do : there were [my]_{363-mrs. rochester} trunks , packed , locked , corded , ranged in a row along the wall of [[my]_{363-mrs. rochester} little chamber]_{6366-my little chamber} ; to - morrow , at this time , they would be far on [[their]_6367-their road]_{6368-their road} to [London]_31-london : and so should [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} D.V. , - or rather , not [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} , but one [Jane Rochester]_368-jane , [a person whom as yet [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} knew not]_{6369-a person whom as yet i knew not} . The cards of address alone remained to nail on : they lay , four little squares , in the drawer . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} written the direction , "_{[363-mrs. rochester]} [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} , - [Hotel]_2856-hotel , [London]_31-london , " on each : [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} could not persuade [myself]_{363-mrs. rochester} to affix them , or to have them affixed . [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} ! [She]_{363-mrs. rochester} did not exist : [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} would not be born till to - morrow , some time after eight o'clock a.m. ; and [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} would wait to be assured [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} had come into [the world]_{484-the world} alive before [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} assigned to [her]_{363-mrs. rochester} all [that property]_{6371-that property} . It was enough that in [yonder closet]_{6372-yonder closet} , opposite [my]_{363-mrs. rochester} dressing - table , garments said to be [hers]_{363-mrs. rochester} had already displaced [my]_{363-mrs. rochester} black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet : for not to [me]_{363-mrs. rochester} appertained that suit of wedding raiment ; the pearl - coloured robe , the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau . [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} shut the closet to conceal the strange , wraith - like apparel it contained ; which , at this evening hour - nine o'clock - gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of [[my]_{363-mrs. rochester} apartment]_{5848-my apartment} . "_{[363-mrs. rochester]} [I]_0-i will leave [you]_2857-you by [yourself]_2857-you , white dream , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am feverish : [I]_0-i hear the wind blowing : [I]_0-i will go out of doors and feel it . " It was not only the hurry of preparation that made [me]_0-i feverish ; not only the anticipation of the great change - the new life which was to commence to - morrow : both these circumstances had their share , doubtless , in producing that restless , excited mood which hurried [me]_0-i forth at this late hour into [the darkening grounds]_{6374-the darkening grounds} : but a third cause influenced [my]_0-i mind more than they . [I]_0-i had at heart a strange and anxious thought . Something had happened which [I]_0-i could not comprehend ; [no one]_{593-no one} knew of or had seen the event but [myself]_0-i : it had taken place the preceding night . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} that night was absent from [home]_509-home ; nor was [he]_{251-mr. rochester} yet returned : business had called [him]_{251-mr. rochester} to [a small estate of [two or three farms]_{6378-two or three farms} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} possessed thirty miles off]_{6377-a small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles off} - business it was requisite [he]_{251-mr. rochester} should settle in person , previous to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} meditated departure from [England]_21-england . [I]_0-i waited now [his]_{251-mr. rochester} return ; eager to disburthen [my]_0-i mind , and to seek of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} the solution of the enigma that perplexed [me]_0-i . Stay till [he]_{251-mr. rochester} comes , [reader]_496-reader ; and , when [I]_0-i disclose [my]_0-i secret to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [you]_2858-you shall share the confidence . [I]_0-i sought [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} , driven to [its]_{5934-the orchard} shelter by the wind , which all day had blown strong and full from the south , without , however , bringing a speck of rain . Instead of subsiding as night drew on , it seemed to augment its rush and deepen its roar : the trees blew steadfastly one way , never writhing round , and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an hour ; so continuous was the strain bending [their]_6381-their branchy heads northward - the clouds drifted from pole to pole , fast following , mass on mass : no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that July day . It was not without a certain wild pleasure [I]_0-i ran before the wind , delivering [my]_0-i trouble of mind to the measureless air - torrent thundering through space . Descending the laurel walk , [I]_0-i faced the wreck of the chestnut - tree ; it stood up black and riven : the trunk , split down the centre , gasped ghastly . The cloven halves were not broken from each other , for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsundered below ; though community of vitality was destroyed - the sap could flow no more : [their]_6381-their great boughs on each side were dead , and next winter 's tempests would be sure to fell one or both to [earth]_478-earth : as yet , however , they might be said to form one tree - a ruin , but an entire ruin . "_[0-i] [You]_2858-you did right to hold fast to [each other]_{724-each other} , " [I]_2858-you said : as if the monster - splinters were living things , and could hear [me]_2858-you . "_[2858-you] [I]_0-i think , scathed as [you]_2858-you look , and charred and scorched , there must be a little sense of life in [you]_2858-you yet , rising out of that adhesion at the faithful , honest roots : [you]_2858-you will never have green leaves more - never more see birds making nests and singing idyls in [your]_2858-you boughs ; the time of pleasure and love is over with [you]_2858-you : but [you]_2858-you are not desolate : each of [you]_2858-you has [a comrade]_{2860-a comrade} to sympathise with [him]_{2860-a comrade} in [his]_{2860-a comrade} decay . " As [I]_{2860-a comrade} looked up at [them]_6381-their , the moon appeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled [their]_6381-their fissure ; [her]_6383-her disk was blood- red and half overcast ; [she]_6383-her seemed to throw on [me]_{2860-a comrade} one bewildered , dreary glance , and buried [herself]_6383-her again instantly in the deep drift of cloud . The wind fell , for a second , round [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} ; but far away over wood and water , poured a wild , melancholy wail : it was sad to listen to , and [I]_{2860-a comrade} ran off again . Here and there [I]_{2860-a comrade} strayed through [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} , gathered up the apples with which the grass round the tree roots was thickly strewn ; then [I]_{2860-a comrade} employed [myself]_{2860-a comrade} in dividing the ripe from the unripe ; [I]_{2860-a comrade} carried them into [the house]_{4322-the house} and put them away in [the store - room]_{6386-the store - room} . Then [I]_{2860-a comrade} repaired to [the library]_{659-the library} to ascertain whether the fire was lit , for , though summer , [I]_{2860-a comrade} knew on such a gloomy evening [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} would like to see a cheerful hearth when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} came in : yes , the fire had been kindled some time , and burnt well . [I]_{2860-a comrade} placed [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arm - chair by the chimney - corner : [I]_{2860-a comrade} wheeled the table near [it]_{43-thornfield} : [I]_{2860-a comrade} let down the curtain , and had the candles brought in ready for lighting . More restless than ever , when [I]_{2860-a comrade} had completed these arrangements [I]_{2860-a comrade} could not sit still , nor even remain in [the house]_{4322-the house} : a little time - piece in [the room]_{535-the room} and the old clock in [the hall]_{608-the hall} simultaneously struck ten . "_{[2860-a comrade]} How late it grows ! " [I]_{2860-a comrade} said . "_{[2860-a comrade]} [I]_0-i will run down to the gates : it is moonlight at intervals ; [I]_0-i can see a good way on [the road]_{4892-the road} . [He]_2862-he may be coming now , and to meet [him]_2862-he will save some minutes of suspense . " The wind roared high in the great trees which embowered the gates ; but [the road]_{4892-the road} as far as [I]_0-i could see , to the right hand and the left , was all still and solitary : save for the shadows of clouds crossing [it]_{4892-the road} at intervals as the moon looked out , it was but a long pale line , unvaried by one moving speck . A puerile tear dimmed [my]_0-i eye while [I]_0-i looked - a tear of disappointment and impatience ; ashamed of it , [I]_0-i wiped it away . [I]_0-i lingered ; the moon shut [herself]_6392-her wholly within [[her]_6392-her chamber]_{6393-her chamber} , and drew close [her]_6392-her curtain of dense cloud : the night grew dark ; rain came driving fast on the gale . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [he]_2862-he would come ! [I]_0-i wish [he]_2862-he would come ! " [I]_2862-he exclaimed , seized with hypochondriac foreboding . [I]_2862-he had expected [his]_2862-he arrival before tea ; now it was dark : what could keep [him]_2862-he ? Had an accident happened ? The event of last night again recurred to [me]_2862-he . [I]_2862-he interpreted it as a warning of disaster . [I]_2862-he feared [my]_2862-he hopes were too bright to be realised ; and [I]_2862-he had enjoyed so much bliss lately that [I]_2862-he imagined [my]_2862-he fortune had passed its meridian , and must now decline . "_[2862-he] Well , [I]_0-i can not return to [the house]_{4322-the house} , " [I]_0-i thought ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not sit by the fireside , while [he]_2862-he is abroad in inclement weather : better tire [my]_0-i limbs than strain [my]_0-i heart ; [I]_0-i will go forward and meet [him]_2862-he . " [I]_0-i set out ; [I]_0-i walked fast , but not far : ere [I]_0-i had measured a quarter of a mile , [I]_0-i heard the tramp of hoofs ; [a horseman]_{2712-a horseman} came on , full gallop ; a dog ran by [his]_{2712-a horseman} side . Away with evil presentiment ! It was [he]_2862-he : here [he]_2862-he was , mounted on [Mesrour]_69-mesrour , followed by [Pilot]_267-pilot . [He]_2862-he saw [me]_0-i ; for the moon had opened a blue field in the sky , and rode in it watery bright : [he]_2862-he took [his]_2862-he hat off , and waved it round [his]_2862-he head . [I]_0-i now ran to meet [him]_2862-he . "_[0-i] There ! " [he]_2862-he exclaimed , as [he]_2862-he stretched out [his]_2862-he hand and bent from the saddle : "_[0-i] [You]_2864-you ca n't do without [me]_0-i , that is evident . Step on [my]_0-i boot - toe ; give [me]_0-i both hands : mount ! " [I]_0-i obeyed : joy made [me]_0-i agile : [I]_0-i sprang up before [him]_2862-he . A hearty kissing [I]_0-i got for a welcome , and some boastful triumph , which [I]_0-i swallowed as well as [I]_0-i could . [He]_2862-he checked [himself]_2862-he in [his]_2862-he exultation to demand , "_[0-i] But is there anything the matter , [Janet]_265-janet , that [you]_265-janet come to meet [me]_0-i at such an hour ? Is there anything wrong ? " "_[0-i] No , but [I]_0-i thought [you]_265-janet would never come . [I]_0-i could not bear to wait in [the house]_{4322-the house} for [you]_265-janet , especially with this rain and wind . " "_[0-i] Rain and wind , indeed ! Yes , [you]_265-janet are dripping like a mermaid ; pull [my]_0-i cloak round [you]_265-janet : but [I]_0-i think [you]_265-janet are feverish , [Jane]_368-jane : both [your]_265-janet cheek and hand are burning hot . [I]_0-i ask again , is there anything the matter ? " Nothing now ; [I]_0-i am neither afraid nor unhappy . "_[0-i] " Then [you]_0-i have been both ? "_[0-i] " Rather : but [I]_0-i 'll tell [you]_265-janet all about it by - and - bye , [sir]_4374-sir ; and [I]_0-i daresay [you]_265-janet will only laugh at [me]_0-i for [my]_0-i pains . "_[0-i] " [I]_360-john 'll laugh at [you]_265-janet heartily when to - morrow is past ; till then [I]_360-john dare not : [my]_360-john prize is not certain . This is [you]_265-janet , who have been as slippery as an eel this last month , and as thorny as a briar - rose ? [I]_360-john could not lay a finger anywhere but [I]_360-john was pricked ; and now [I]_360-john seem to have gathered up a stray lamb in [my]_360-john arms . [You]_265-janet wandered out of the fold to seek [[your]_265-janet shepherd]_{6396-your shepherd} , did [you]_265-janet , [Jane]_368-jane ? "_[360-john] " [I]_2866-i wanted [you]_368-jane : but do n't boast . Here [we]_6397-we are at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : now let [me]_2866-i get down . "_[2866-i] [He]_2866-i landed [me]_0-i on [the pavement]_{2725-the pavement} . As [John]_360-john took [his]_360-john horse , and [he]_360-john followed [me]_0-i into [the hall]_{608-the hall} , [he]_360-john told [me]_0-i to make haste and put something dry on , and then return to [him]_360-john in [the library]_{659-the library} ; and [he]_360-john stopped [me]_0-i , as [I]_0-i made for the staircase , to extort a promise that [I]_0-i would not be long : nor was [I]_0-i long ; in five minutes [I]_0-i rejoined [him]_360-john . [I]_0-i found [him]_360-john at supper . " Take a seat and bear [me]_0-i company , [Jane]_368-jane : please [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , it is the last meal but one [you]_368-jane will eat at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} for a long time . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i sat down near [him]_360-john , but told [him]_360-john [I]_0-i could not eat . " Is it because [you]_368-jane have the prospect of a journey before [you]_368-jane , [Jane]_368-jane ? Is it the thoughts of going to [London]_31-london that takes away [your]_368-jane appetite ? "_[0-i] " [I]_360-john can not see [my]_360-john prospects clearly to - night , [sir]_4374-sir ; and [I]_360-john hardly know what thoughts [I]_360-john have in [my]_360-john head . Everything in life seems unreal . "_[360-john] " Except [me]_360-john : [I]_360-john am substantial enough - touch [me]_360-john . "_[360-john] " [You]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , are the most phantom - like of all : [you]_0-i are a mere dream . "_[360-john] [He]_360-john held out [his]_360-john hand , laughing . " Is that a dream ? "_[360-john] said [he]_360-john , placing it close to [my]_0-i eyes . [He]_360-john had a rounded , muscular , and vigorous hand , as well as a long , strong arm . " Yes ; though [I]_0-i touch it , it is a dream , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , as [I]_0-i put it down from before [my]_0-i face . " [Sir]_4374-sir , have [you]_4374-sir finished supper ? "_[0-i] " Yes , [Jane]_368-jane . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rang the bell and ordered away the tray . When [we]_2870-we were again alone , [I]_0-i stirred the fire , and then took a low seat at [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's knee . " It is near midnight , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " Yes : but remember , [Jane]_368-jane , [you]_368-jane promised to wake with [me]_0-i the night before [my]_0-i wedding . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i did ; and [I]_0-i will keep [my]_0-i promise , for an hour or two at least : [I]_0-i have no wish to go to bed . "_[0-i] " Are all [your]_4374-sir arrangements complete ? "_[0-i] " All , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " And on [my]_{4336-my master} part likewise , "_{[4336-my master]} [he]_{4336-my master} returned , " [I]_{4336-my master} have settled everything ; and [we]_2870-we shall leave [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} to - morrow , within half - an - hour after [our]_2870-we return from [church]_949-church . "_{[4336-my master]} " Very well , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[0-i] " With what an extraordinary smile [you]_368-jane uttered that word - ' ve ry well , ' [Jane]_368-jane ! What a bright spot of colour [you]_368-jane have on each cheek ! and how strangely [your]_368-jane eyes glitter ! Are [you]_368-jane well ? "_[0-i] " [I]_{4336-my master} believe [I]_{4336-my master} am . "_{[4336-my master]} " Believe ! What is the matter ? Tell [me]_0-i what [you]_368-jane feel . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i could not , [sir]_4374-sir : no words could tell [you]_4374-sir what [I]_0-i feel . [I]_0-i wish this present hour would never end : who knows with what fate the next may come charged ? "_[0-i] " This is hypochondria , [Jane]_368-jane . [You]_368-jane have been over - excited , or over - fatigued . "_{[4336-my master]} " Do [you]_368-jane , [sir]_4374-sir , feel calm and happy ? "_[0-i] " Calm ? - no : but happy - to the heart 's core . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i looked up at [him]_2872-me to read the signs of bliss in [his]_2872-me face : it was ardent and flushed . " Give [me]_2872-me [your]_368-jane confidence , [Jane]_368-jane , "_[2872-me] [he]_2872-me said : " relieve [your]_368-jane mind of any weight that oppresses it , by imparting it to [me]_2872-me . What do [you]_368-jane fear?- -that [I]_2872-me shall not prove [a good husband]_{6406-a good husband} ? "_[2872-me] " It is the idea farthest from [my]_{4336-my master} thoughts . "_{[4336-my master]} " Are [you]_368-jane apprehensive of the new sphere [you]_368-jane are about to enter ? - of the new life into which [you]_368-jane are passing ? "_{[4336-my master]} " No . "_[0-i] " [You]_368-jane puzzle [me]_{4336-my master} , [Jane]_368-jane : [your]_368-jane look and tone of sorrowful audacity perplex and pain [me]_{4336-my master} . [I]_{4336-my master} want an explanation . "_{[4336-my master]} " Then , [sir]_4374-sir , listen . [You]_368-jane were from [home]_509-home last night ? "_{[4336-my master]} " [I]_0-i was : [I]_0-i know that ; and [you]_368-jane hinted a while ago at something which had happened in [my]_0-i absence:- nothing , probably , of consequence ; but , in short , it has disturbed [you]_368-jane . Let [me]_0-i hear it . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} has said something , perhaps ? or [you]_368-jane have overheard [the servants]_{546-the servants} talk ? - [your]_368-jane sensitive self - respect has been wounded ? "_[0-i] " No , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[4336-my master]} It struck twelve - [I]_0-i waited till the time - piece had concluded its silver chime , and the clock its hoarse , vibrating stroke , and then [I]_0-i proceeded . " All day yesterday [I]_0-i was very busy , and very happy in [my]_0-i ceaseless bustle ; for [I]_0-i am not , as [you]_368-jane seem to think , troubled by any haunting fears about the new sphere , et cetera : [I]_0-i think it a glorious thing to have the hope of living with [you]_368-jane , because [I]_0-i love [you]_368-jane . No , [sir]_4374-sir , do n't caress [me]_0-i now - let [me]_0-i talk undisturbed . Yesterday [I]_0-i trusted well in [Providence]_{272-providence} , and believed that events were working together for [your]_368-jane good and [mine]_0-i : it was a fine day , if [you]_368-jane recollect - the calmness of the air and sky forbade apprehensions respecting [your]_368-jane safety or comfort on [your]_368-jane journey . [I]_0-i walked a little while on [the pavement]_{2725-the pavement} after tea , thinking of [you]_368-jane ; and [I]_0-i beheld [you]_368-jane in imagination so near [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i scarcely missed [your]_368-jane actual presence . [I]_0-i thought of the life that lay before [me]_0-i - [YOUR]_368-jane life , [sir]_4374-sir - an existence more expansive and stirring than [my]_0-i own : as much more so as the depths of [the sea]_{5042-the sea} to which [the brook]_{6415-the brook} runs are than [the shallows of [its]_{6415-the brook} own strait channel]_{6416-the shallows of its own strait channel} . [I]_0-i wondered why [moralists]_{6417-moralists} call [this world a dreary wilderness]_{6418-this world a dreary wilderness} : for [me]_0-i it blossomed like a rose . Just at sunset , the air turned cold and the sky cloudy : [I]_0-i went in , [Sophie]_256-sophie called [me]_0-i [upstairs]_552-upstairs to look at [my]_0-i wedding - dress , which [they]_6420-they had just brought ; and under it in the box [I]_0-i found [your]_368-jane present - the veil which , in [your]_368-jane princely extravagance , [you]_368-jane sent for from [London]_31-london : resolved , [I]_0-i suppose , since [I]_0-i would not have jewels , to cheat [me]_0-i into accepting something as costly . [I]_0-i smiled as [I]_0-i unfolded it , and devised how [I]_0-i would tease [you]_368-jane about [your]_368-jane aristocratic tastes , and [your]_368-jane efforts to masque [[your]_368-jane plebeian bride]_{6421-your plebeian bride} in the attributes of [a peeress]_{6422-a peeress} . [I]_0-i though how [I]_0-i would carry down to [you]_368-jane the square of unembroidered blond [I]_0-i had [myself]_0-i prepared as a covering for [my]_0-i low - born head , and ask if that was not good enough for [a woman who could bring [[her]_{6423-a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune , beauty , nor connections} husband]_{620-her husband} neither fortune , beauty , nor connections]_{6423-a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune , beauty , nor connections} . [I]_0-i saw plainly how [you]_368-jane would look ; and heard [your]_368-jane impetuous republican answers , and [your]_368-jane haughty disavowal of any necessity on [your]_368-jane part to augment [your]_368-jane wealth , or elevate [your]_368-jane standing , by marrying either a purse or a coronet . "_[0-i] " How well [you]_368-jane read [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , [[you]_368-jane witch]_{6425-you witch} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} interposed [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : " but what did [you]_368-jane find in the veil besides its embroidery ? Did [you]_368-jane find poison , or a dagger , that [you]_368-jane look so mournful now ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " No , no , [sir]_4374-sir ; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric , [I]_0-i found nothing save [Fairfax Rochester]_{271-fairfax rochester} 's pride ; and that did not scare [me]_0-i , because [I]_0-i am used to the sight of the demon . But , [sir]_4374-sir , as it grew dark , the wind rose : it blew yesterday evening , not as it blows now - wild and high - but ' with a sullen , moaning sound ' far more eerie . [I]_0-i wished [you]_4374-sir were at [home]_509-home . [I]_0-i came into [this room]_{570-this room} , and the sight of the empty chair and fireless hearth chilled [me]_0-i . For some time after [I]_0-i went to bed , [I]_0-i could not sleep - a sense of anxious excitement distressed [me]_0-i . The gale still rising , seemed to [my]_0-i ear to muffle a mournful under - sound ; whether in [the house]_{4322-the house} or [abroad]_6431-abroad [I]_0-i could not at first tell , but it recurred , doubtful yet doleful at every lull ; at last [I]_0-i made out it must be some dog howling at a distance . [I]_0-i was glad when it ceased . On sleeping , [I]_0-i continued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night . [I]_0-i continued also the wish to be with [you]_4374-sir , and experienced a strange , regretful consciousness of some barrier dividing [us]_6432-us . During all [my]_0-i first sleep , [I]_0-i was following the windings of [an unknown road]_{6433-an unknown road} ; total obscurity environed [me]_0-i ; rain pelted [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i was burdened with the charge of [a little child]_{5950-a little child} : a very small creature , too young and feeble to walk , and which shivered in [my]_0-i cold arms , and wailed piteously in [my]_0-i ear . [I]_0-i thought , [sir]_4374-sir , that [you]_4374-sir were on [the road]_{4892-the road} a long way before [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i strained every nerve to overtake [you]_4374-sir , and made effort on effort to utter [your]_4374-sir name and entreat [you]_4374-sir to stop - but [my]_0-i movements were fettered , and [my]_0-i voice still died away inarticulate ; while [you]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i felt , withdrew farther and farther every moment . "_[0-i] " And these dreams weigh on [your]_4374-sir spirits now , [Jane]_368-jane , when [I]_2873-me am close to [you]_4374-sir ? [Little nervous subject]_{6437-little nervous subject} ! Forget visionary woe , and think only of real happiness ! [You]_4374-sir say [you]_4374-sir love [me]_2873-me , [Janet]_265-janet : yes - [I]_2873-me will not forget that ; and [you]_4374-sir can not deny it . THOSE words did not die inarticulate on [your]_4374-sir lips . [I]_2873-me heard them clear and soft : a thought too solemn perhaps , but sweet as music - ' [I]_2873-me think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of living with [you]_4374-sir , [Edward]_{273-mr. edward} , because [I]_2873-me love [you]_4374-sir . ' Do [you]_4374-sir love [me]_2873-me , [Jane]_368-jane ? - repeat it . "_[2873-me] " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do , [sir]_4374-sir - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} do , with [my]_{251-mr. rochester} whole heart . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Well , "_[2873-me] [he]_2873-me said , after some minutes ' silence , " it is strange ; but that sentence has penetrated [my]_2873-me breast painfully . Why ? [I]_2873-me think because [you]_4374-sir said it with such an earnest , religious energy , and because [your]_4374-sir upward gaze at [me]_2873-me now is the very sublime of faith , truth , and devotion : it is too much as if some spirit were near [me]_2873-me . Look wicked , [Jane]_368-jane : as [you]_4374-sir know well how to look : coin one of [your]_4374-sir wild , shy , provoking smiles ; tell [me]_2873-me [you]_4374-sir hate [me]_2873-me - tease [me]_2873-me , vex [me]_2873-me ; do anything but move [me]_2873-me : [I]_2873-me would rather be incensed than saddened . "_[2873-me] " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will tease [you]_4374-sir and vex [you]_4374-sir to [your]_4374-sir heart 's content , when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have finished [my]_{251-mr. rochester} tale : but hear [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to the end . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_0-i thought , [Jane]_368-jane , [you]_4374-sir had told [me]_0-i all . [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i had found the source of [your]_4374-sir melancholy in a dream . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head . " What ! is there more ? But [I]_0-i will not believe it to be anything important . [I]_0-i warn [you]_4374-sir of incredulity beforehand . Go on . "_[0-i] The disquietude of [his]_2874-his air , the somewhat apprehensive impatience of [his]_2874-his manner , surprised [me]_0-i : but [I]_0-i proceeded . " [I]_0-i dreamt another dream , [sir]_4374-sir : that [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} was [a dreary ruin]_{6440-a dreary ruin} , the retreat of bats and owls . [I]_0-i thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell - like wall , very high and very fragile - looking . [I]_0-i wandered , on a moonlight night , through the grass - grown enclosure within : here [I]_0-i stumbled over a marble hearth , and there over a fallen fragment of cornice . Wrapped up in a shawl , [I]_0-i still carried [the unknown little child]_{6441-the unknown little child} : [I]_0-i might not lay it down anywhere , however tired were [my]_0-i arms - however much its weight impeded [my]_0-i progress , [I]_0-i must retain it . [I]_0-i heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on [the road]_{4892-the road} ; [I]_0-i was sure it was [you]_6443-you ; and [you]_6443-you were departing for many years and for [a distant country]_{6444-a distant country} . [I]_0-i climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous haste , eager to catch one glimpse of [you]_6443-you from the top : the stones rolled from under [my]_0-i feet , the ivy branches [I]_0-i grasped gave way , [the child]_{4339-the child} clung round [my]_0-i neck in terror , and almost strangled [me]_0-i ; at last [I]_0-i gained the summit . [I]_0-i saw [you]_6443-you like a speck on a white track , lessening every moment . The blast blew so strong [I]_0-i could not stand . [I]_0-i sat down on the narrow ledge ; [I]_0-i hushed [the scared infant]_{6446-the scared infant} in [my]_0-i lap : [you]_6443-you turned an angle of [the road]_{4892-the road} : [I]_0-i bent forward to take a last look ; the wall crumbled ; [I]_0-i was shaken ; [the child]_{4339-the child} rolled from [my]_0-i knee , [I]_0-i lost [my]_0-i balance , fell , and woke . "_[0-i] " Now , [Jane]_368-jane , that is all . "_[0-i] " All the preface , [sir]_4374-sir ; the tale is yet to come . On waking , a gleam dazzled [my]_0-i eyes ; [I]_0-i thought - Oh , it is daylight ! But [I]_0-i was mistaken ; it was only candlelight . [Sophie]_256-sophie , [I]_0-i supposed , had come in . There was a light in the dressing - table , and the door of [the closet]_{6450-the closet} , where , before going to bed , [I]_0-i had hung [my]_0-i wedding - dress and veil , stood open ; [I]_0-i heard a rustling there . [I]_0-i asked , ' [Sophie]_256-sophie , what are [you]_256-sophie doing ? ' [No one]_{593-no one} answered ; but a form emerged from [the closet]_{6450-the closet} ; it took the light , held it aloft , and surveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau . ' [Sophie]_256-sophie ! [Sophie]_256-sophie ! ' [I]_0-i again cried : and still it was silent . [I]_0-i had risen up in bed , [I]_0-i bent forward : first surprise , then bewilderment , came over [me]_0-i ; and then [my]_0-i blood crept cold through [my]_0-i veins . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , this was not [Sophie]_256-sophie , it was not [Leah]_195-bessie , it was not [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : it was not - no , [I]_0-i was sure of it , and am still - it was not even [that strange woman]_{6453-that strange woman} , [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} . "_[0-i] " It must have been one of [them]_6454-them , "_{[4336-my master]} interrupted [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} . " No , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_{4336-my master} solemnly assure [you]_4374-sir to the contrary . The shape standing before [me]_{4336-my master} had never crossed [my]_{4336-my master} eyes within [the precincts of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall}]_{6456-the precincts of thornfield hall} before ; the height , the contour were new to [me]_{4336-my master} . "_{[4336-my master]} " Describe it , [Jane]_368-jane . "_[0-i] " It seemed , [sir]_4374-sir , [a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down [her]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} back]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} . [I]_0-i know not what dress [she]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} had on : it was white and straight ; but whether gown , sheet , or shroud , [I]_0-i can not tell . "_[0-i] " Did [you]_4374-sir see [her]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} face ? "_{[4336-my master]} " Not at first . But presently [she]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} took [my]_0-i veil from its place ; [she]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} held it up , gazed at it long , and then [she]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} threw it over [her]_{6458-a woman , tall and large , with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back} own head , and turned to the mirror . At that moment [I]_0-i saw the reflection of the visage and features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass . "_[0-i] " And how were [they]_6459-they ? "_[0-i] " Fearful and ghastly to [me]_{4336-my master} - oh , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_{4336-my master} never saw a face like it ! [It]_6461-it was a discoloured face - it was a savage face . [I]_{4336-my master} wish [I]_{4336-my master} could forget the roll of the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments ! "_{[4336-my master]} " [Ghosts]_6462-ghosts are usually pale , [Jane]_368-jane . "_[0-i] " This , [sir]_4374-sir , was purple : the lips were swelled and dark ; the brow furrowed : the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes . Shall [I]_0-i tell [you]_4374-sir of what it reminded [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " [You]_4374-sir may . "_[0-i] " Of [the foul German spectre]_{6464-the foul german spectre} - [the Vampyre]_{6465-the vampyre} . "_{[4336-my master]} " Ah ! - what did it do ? "_[0-i] " [Sir]_4374-sir , [it]_{6464-the foul german spectre} removed [my]_0-i veil from [its]_{6464-the foul german spectre} gaunt head , rent it in two parts , and flinging both on the floor , trampled on them . "_[0-i] " Afterwards ? "_[0-i] " [It]_{6464-the foul german spectre} drew aside the window - curtain and looked out ; perhaps it saw dawn approaching , for , taking the candle , [it]_{6464-the foul german spectre} retreated to the door . Just at [my]_{4336-my master} bedside , [the figure]_{6467-the figure} stopped : the fiery eyes glared upon [me]_{4336-my master} - [she]_{6467-the figure} thrust up [her]_{6467-the figure} candle close to [my]_{4336-my master} face , and extinguished it under [my]_{4336-my master} eyes . [I]_{4336-my master} was aware [her]_{6467-the figure} lurid visage flamed over [mine]_{4336-my master} , and [I]_{4336-my master} lost consciousness : for the second time in [my]_{4336-my master} life - only the second time - [I]_{4336-my master} became insensible from terror . "_{[4336-my master]} " Who was with [you]_{4336-my master} when [you]_{4336-my master} revived ? "_[0-i] " [No one]_{593-no one} , [sir]_4374-sir , but the broad day . [I]_0-i rose , bathed [my]_0-i head and face in water , drank a long draught ; felt that though enfeebled [I]_0-i was not ill , and determined that to none but [you]_4374-sir would [I]_0-i impart this vision . Now , [sir]_4374-sir , tell [me]_0-i who and what [that woman]_{5442-that woman} was ? "_[0-i] " The creature of an over - stimulated brain ; that is certain . [I]_{4336-my master} must be careful of [you]_4374-sir , [[my]_{4336-my master} treasure]_{6472-my treasure} : nerves like [yours]_4374-sir were not made for rough handling . "_{[4336-my master]} " [Sir]_4374-sir , depend on it , [my]_0-i nerves were not in fault ; the thing was real : the transaction actually took place . "_[0-i] " And [your]_{4336-my master} previous dreams , were they real too ? Is [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} a ruin ? Am [I]_0-i severed from [you]_4374-sir by insuperable obstacles ? Am [I]_0-i leaving [you]_4374-sir without a tear - without a kiss - without a word ? "_[0-i] " Not yet . "_{[4336-my master]} " Am [I]_0-i about to do it ? Why , the day is already commenced which is to bind [us]_6474-us indissolubly ; and when [we]_6474-us are once united , there shall be no recurrence of these mental terrors : [I]_0-i guarantee that . "_[0-i] " Mental terrors , [sir]_4374-sir ! [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could believe them to be only such : [I]_0-i wish it more now than ever ; since even [you]_4374-sir can not explain to [me]_0-i the mystery of [that awful visitant]_{6476-that awful visitant} . "_[0-i] " And since [I]_0-i can not do it , [Jane]_368-jane , it must have been unreal . "_[0-i] " But , [sir]_4374-sir , when [I]_0-i said so to [myself]_0-i on rising this morning , and when [I]_0-i looked round [the room]_{535-the room} to gather courage and comfort from the cheerful aspect of [each familiar object in full daylight]_{6479-each familiar object in full daylight} , there - on the carpet - [I]_0-i saw what gave the distinct lie to [my]_0-i hypothesis , - the veil , torn from top to bottom in two halves ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i felt [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} start and shudder ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} hastily flung [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms round [me]_0-i . " Thank [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} exclaimed , " that if anything malignant did come near [you]_0-i last night , it was only the veil that was harmed . Oh , to think what might have happened ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} drew [his]_{251-mr. rochester} breath short , and strained [me]_0-i so close to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i could scarcely pant . After some minutes ' silence , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} continued , cheerily - " Now , [Janet]_265-janet , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} 'll explain to [you]_265-janet all about it . It was half dream , half reality . [A woman]_{4399-a woman} did , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} doubt not , enter [[your]_265-janet room]_{4973-your room} : and [that woman]_{5442-that woman} was - must have been - [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} . [You]_265-janet call [her]_{5442-that woman} a strange being [yourself]_265-janet : from all [you]_265-janet know , [you]_265-janet have reason so to call [her]_{5442-that woman} - what did [she]_{5442-that woman} do to [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? what to [Mason]_337-mason ? In a state between sleeping and waking , [you]_265-janet noticed [her]_{5442-that woman} entrance and [her]_{5442-that woman} actions ; but feverish , almost delirious as [you]_265-janet were , [you]_265-janet ascribed to [her]_{5442-that woman} a goblin appearance different from [her]_{5442-that woman} own : the long dishevelled hair , the swelled black face , the exaggerated stature , were figments of imagination ; results of nightmare : the spiteful tearing of the veil was real : and it is like [her]_{5442-that woman} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} see [you]_265-janet would ask why [I]_{251-mr. rochester} keep [such a woman in [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} house]_{4395-my house}]_{6483-such a woman in my house} : when [we]_6485-we have been married a year and a day , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will tell [you]_265-janet ; but not now . Are [you]_265-janet satisfied , [Jane]_368-jane ? Do [you]_265-janet accept [my]_{251-mr. rochester} solution of the mystery ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [I]_0-i reflected , and in truth it appeared to [me]_0-i the only possible one : satisfied [I]_0-i was not , but to please [him]_2876-him [I]_0-i endeavoured to appear so - relieved , [I]_0-i certainly did feel ; so [I]_0-i answered [him]_2876-him with a contented smile . And now , as it was long past one , [I]_0-i prepared to leave [him]_2876-him . " Does not [Sophie]_256-sophie sleep with [Adele]_259-adele in [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} ? "_[2876-him] [he]_2876-him asked , as [I]_0-i lit [my]_0-i candle . " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[2876-him] " And there is room enough in [[Adele]_259-adele 's little bed]_{6488-adele 's little bed} for [you]_0-i . [You]_0-i must share it with [her]_259-adele to - night , [Jane]_368-jane : it is no wonder that the incident [you]_0-i have related should make [you]_0-i nervous , and [I]_2876-him would rather [you]_0-i did not sleep alone : promise [me]_2876-him to go to [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . "_[2876-him] " [I]_2877-i shall be very glad to do so , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[2877-i] " And fasten the door securely on the inside . Wake [Sophie]_256-sophie when [you]_0-i go [upstairs]_552-upstairs , under pretence of requesting [her]_259-adele to rouse [you]_0-i in good time to - morrow ; for [you]_0-i must be dressed and have finished breakfast before eight . And now , no more sombre thoughts : chase dull care away , [Janet]_265-janet . Do n't [you]_265-janet hear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen ? and there is no more beating of rain against the window - panes : look here "_[2877-i] [he]_2877-i lifted up the curtain - " it is a lovely night ! "_[2877-i] It was . [Half heaven]_{2878-half heaven} was pure and stainless : the clouds , now trooping before the wind , which had shifted to the west , were filing off eastward in long , silvered columns . The moon shone peacefully . " Well , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , gazing inquiringly into [my]_0-i eyes , " how is [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} [Janet]_265-janet]_{6492-my janet} now ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " The night is serene , [sir]_4374-sir ; and so am [I.]_0-i "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And [you]_265-janet will not dream of separation and sorrow to - night ; but of happy love and blissful union . "_[0-i] This prediction was but half fulfilled : [I]_0-i did not indeed dream of sorrow , but as little did [I]_0-i dream of joy ; for [I]_0-i never slept at all . With little [Adele]_259-adele in [my]_0-i arms , [I]_0-i watched the slumber of childhood - so tranquil , so passionless , so innocent - and waited for the coming day : all [my]_0-i life was awake and astir in [my]_0-i frame : and as soon as the sun rose [I]_0-i rose too . [I]_0-i remember [Adele]_259-adele clung to [me]_0-i as [I]_0-i left [her]_259-adele : [I]_0-i remember [I]_0-i kissed [her]_259-adele as [I]_0-i loosened [her]_259-adele little hands from [my]_0-i neck ; and [I]_0-i cried over [her]_259-adele with strange emotion , and quitted [her]_259-adele because [I]_0-i feared [my]_0-i sobs would break [her]_259-adele still sound repose . [She]_259-adele seemed the emblem of [my]_0-i past life ; and [he]_0-i [I]_0-i was now to array [myself]_0-i to meet , the dread , but adored , type of [my]_0-i unknown future day . CHAPTER XXVI [Sophie]_256-sophie came at seven to dress [me]_0-i : [she]_256-sophie was very long indeed in accomplishing [her]_256-sophie task ; so long that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , grown , [I]_0-i suppose , impatient of [my]_0-i delay , sent up to ask why [I]_0-i did not come . [She]_256-sophie was just fastening [my]_0-i veil the plain square of blond after all to [my]_0-i hair with a brooch ; [I]_0-i hurried from under [her]_256-sophie hands as soon as [I]_0-i could . " Stop ! "_[256-sophie] [she]_256-sophie cried in French . " Look at [yourself]_0-i in the mirror : [you]_0-i have not taken one peep . "_[256-sophie] So [I]_0-i turned at the door : [I]_0-i saw a robed and veiled figure , so unlike [my]_0-i usual self that it seemed almost the image of [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} . " [Jane]_368-jane ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} called a voice , and [I]_0-i hastened down . [I]_0-i was received at the foot of the stairs by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " [Lingerer]_373-lingerer ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , " [my]_{251-mr. rochester} brain is on fire with impatience , and [you]_0-i tarry so long ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} took [me]_0-i into [the dining - room]_{5079-the dining - room} , surveyed [me]_0-i keenly all over , pronounced [me]_0-i " fair as a lily , and not only the pride of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} life , but the desire of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eyes , "_[0-i] and then telling [me]_0-i [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would give [me]_0-i but ten minutes to eat some breakfast , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rang the bell . [One of [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} lately hired servants]_{2882-his lately hired servants}]_{2881-one of his lately hired servants} , [a footman]_{2883-a footman} , answered it . " Is [John]_360-john getting [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} ready ? "_{[2883-a footman]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Is the luggage brought down ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [They]_6496-they are bringing it down , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[2883-a footman]} " Go [you]_0-i to [the church]_{6498-the church} : see if [Mr. Wood]_374-wood [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} and [the clerk]_{6500-the clerk} are there : return and tell [me]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [The church]_{6498-the church} , as [the reader]_{947-the reader} knows , was but just beyond the gates ; [the footman]_{2212-the footman} soon returned . " [Mr. Wood]_374-wood is in [the vestry]_{6501-the vestry} , [sir]_4374-sir , putting on [his]_374-wood surplice . "_{[2212-the footman]} " And [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} ? "_{[2883-a footman]} " The horses are harnessing . "_{[2883-a footman]} " [We]_6504-we shall not want it to go to [church]_949-church ; but it must be ready the moment [we]_6504-we return : all the boxes and luggage arranged and strapped on , and [the coachman]_{4912-the coachman} in [his]_{4912-the coachman} seat . "_{[2212-the footman]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[2883-a footman]} " [Jane]_368-jane , are [you]_368-jane ready ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rose . There were [no groomsmen]_{2887-no groomsmen} , [no bridesmaids]_{2888-no bridesmaids} , [no relatives to wait for or marshal]_{2889-no relatives to wait for or marshal} : none but [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [I.]_0-i [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} stood in [the hall]_{608-the hall} as [we]_2891-we passed . [I]_0-i would fain have spoken to [her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , but [my]_0-i hand was held by a grasp of iron : [I]_0-i was hurried along by a stride [I]_0-i could hardly follow ; and to look at [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's face was to feel that not a second of delay would be tolerated for any purpose . [I]_0-i wonder what [other bridegroom]_{2892-other bridegroom} ever looked as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did - so bent up to a purpose , so grimly resolute : or who , under such steadfast brows , ever revealed such flaming and flashing eyes . [I]_0-i know not whether the day was fair or foul ; in descending the drive , [I]_0-i gazed neither on sky nor [earth]_478-earth : [my]_0-i heart was with [my]_0-i eyes ; and both seemed migrated into [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's frame . [I]_0-i wanted to see the invisible thing on which , as [we]_2891-we went along , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} appeared to fasten a glance fierce and fell . [I]_0-i wanted to feel the thoughts whose force [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed breasting and resisting . At [the churchyard]_{4363-the churchyard} wicket [he]_{251-mr. rochester} stopped : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} discovered [I]_0-i was quite out of breath . " Am [I]_{251-mr. rochester} cruel in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} love ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said . " Delay an instant : lean on [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , [Jane]_368-jane . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} And now [I]_0-i can recall the picture of [the grey old house of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} rising calm before [me]_0-i]_{2895-the grey old house of god rising calm before me} , of a rook wheeling round the steeple , of a ruddy morning sky beyond . [I]_0-i remember something , too , of [the green grave - mounds]_{2896-the green grave - mounds} ; and [I]_0-i have not forgotten , either , two figures of [strangers straying amongst the low hillocks]_{2897-strangers straying amongst the low hillocks} and reading the mementoes graven on the few mossy head - stones . [I]_0-i noticed [them]_2898-they , because , as [they]_2898-they saw [us]_2899-us , [they]_2898-they passed round to the back of [the church]_{6498-the church} ; and [I]_0-i doubted not [they]_2898-they were going to enter by the side - aisle door and witness the ceremony . By [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} [they]_2898-they were not observed ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was earnestly looking at [my]_0-i face from which the blood had , [I]_0-i daresay , momentarily fled : for [I]_0-i felt [my]_0-i forehead dewy , and [my]_0-i cheeks and lips cold . When [I]_0-i rallied , which [I]_0-i soon did , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} walked gently with [me]_0-i up the path to [the porch]_{2901-the porch} . [We]_2899-us entered [the quiet and humble temple]_{2902-the quiet and humble temple} ; [the priest]_{2903-the priest} waited in [his]_{2903-the priest} white surplice at the lowly altar , [the clerk]_{6500-the clerk} beside [him]_{2903-the priest} . All was still : two shadows only moved in a remote corner . [My]_0-i conjecture had been correct : [the strangers]_{2905-the strangers} had slipped in before [us]_2899-us , and [they]_{2905-the strangers} now stood by [the vault of [the Rochesters]_{253-the rochesters}]_{2906-the vault of the rochesters} , [their]_{2905-the strangers} backs towards [us]_2899-us , viewing through the rails the old time - stained marble tomb , where [a kneeling angel]_{2907-a kneeling angel} guarded the remains of [Damer de Rochester]_{375-damer de rochester} , slain at [Marston Moor]_{91-marston moor} in the time of the civil wars , and of [Elizabeth]_158-eliza , [[his]_{375-damer de rochester} wife]_{4986-his wife} . [Our]_2899-us place was taken at the communion rails . Hearing a cautious step behind [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i glanced over [my]_0-i shoulder : [one of [the strangers]_{2905-the strangers}]_{2909-one of the strangers} - [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} , evidently - was advancing up [the chancel]_{2912-the chancel} . The service began . The explanation of the intent of matrimony was gone through ; and then [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} came a step further forward , and , bending slightly towards [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , went on . " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} require and charge [you]_6508-ye both as [ye]_6508-ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment , when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed , that if either of [you]_6508-ye know any impediment why [ye]_6508-ye may not lawfully be joined together in matrimony , [ye]_6508-ye do now confess it ; for be [ye]_6508-ye well assured that [so many as are coupled together]_{6509-so many as are coupled together} otherwise than [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's Word doth allow , are not joined together by [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , neither is [their]_{6509-so many as are coupled together} matrimony lawful . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} paused , as the custom is . When is the pause after that sentence ever broken by reply ? Not , perhaps , once in a hundred years . And [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} , who had not lifted [his]_{6499-the clergyman} eyes from [his]_{6499-the clergyman} book , and had held [his]_{6499-the clergyman} breath but for a moment , was proceeding : [his]_{6499-the clergyman} hand was already stretched towards [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , as [his]_{6499-the clergyman} lips unclosed to ask , " Wilt [thou]_{251-mr. rochester} have [this woman]_{6033-this woman} for [[thy]_{251-mr. rochester} wedded wife]_{6511-thy wedded wife} ? "_{[6499-the clergyman]} - when a distinct and near voice said - " The marriage can not go on : [I]_{6499-the clergyman} declare the existence of an impediment . "_{[6499-the clergyman]} [The clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} looked up at [the speaker]_{2916-the speaker} and stood mute ; [the clerk]_{6500-the clerk} did the same ; [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} moved slightly , as if an earthquake had rolled under [his]_{251-mr. rochester} feet : taking a firmer footing , and not turning [his]_{251-mr. rochester} head or eyes , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said , " Proceed . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Profound silence fell when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had uttered that word , with deep but low intonation . [Presently Mr. Wood]_374-wood said - " [I]_374-wood can not proceed without some investigation into what has been asserted , and evidence of its truth or falsehood . "_[374-wood] " The ceremony is quite broken off , "_{[2918-the voice behind us]} subjoined [the voice behind [us]_2919-us]_{2918-the voice behind us} . " [I]_374-wood am in a condition to prove [my]_374-wood allegation : an insuperable impediment to this marriage exists . "_[374-wood] [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} heard , but heeded not : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} stood stubborn and rigid , making no movement but to possess [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} of [my]_0-i hand . What a hot and strong grasp [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had ! and how like quarried marble was [his]_{251-mr. rochester} pale , firm , massive front at this moment ! How [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eye shone , still watchful , and yet wild beneath ! [Mr. Wood]_374-wood seemed at a loss . " What is the nature of the impediment ? "_[374-wood] [he]_374-wood asked . " Perhaps it may be got over - explained away ? "_[374-wood] " Hardly , "_[374-wood] was the answer . " [I]_{2916-the speaker} have called it insuperable , and [I]_{2916-the speaker} speak advisedly . "_{[2916-the speaker]} [The speaker]_{2916-the speaker} came forward and leaned on the rails . [He]_374-wood continued , uttering each word distinctly , calmly , steadily , but not loudly - " It simply consists in the existence of a previous marriage . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} has [a wife]_{5665-a wife} now living . "_[374-wood] [My]_0-i nerves vibrated to those low - spoken words as they had never vibrated to thunder - [my]_0-i blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt frost or fire ; but [I]_0-i was collected , and in no danger of swooning . [I]_0-i looked at [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : [I]_0-i made [him]_{251-mr. rochester} look at [me]_0-i . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} whole face was colourless rock : [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eye was both spark and flint . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} disavowed nothing : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed as if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would defy all things . Without speaking , without smiling , without seeming to recognise in [me]_0-i [a human being]_{2921-a human being} , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} only twined [my]_0-i waist with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arm and riveted [me]_0-i to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} side . " Who are [you]_0-i ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} asked of [the intruder]_{2922-the intruder} . " [My]_{251-mr. rochester} name is [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} , [a solicitor of - Street , [London]_31-london]_{6513-a solicitor of - street , london} . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " And [you]_{251-mr. rochester} would thrust on [me]_{251-mr. rochester} [a wife]_{5665-a wife} ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would remind [you]_{251-mr. rochester} of [[your]_{251-mr. rochester} lady]_{6515-your lady} 's existence , [sir]_4374-sir , which the law recognises , if [you]_{251-mr. rochester} do not . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Favour [me]_{251-mr. rochester} with an account of [her]_{6515-your lady} - with [her]_{6515-your lady} name , [her]_{6515-your lady} parentage , [her]_{6515-your lady} place of abode . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " Certainly . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} calmly took a paper from [his]_{376-mr. briggs} pocket , and read out in a sort of official , nasal voice:- " ' [I]_{376-mr. briggs} affirm and can prove that on the 20th of October A.D. - a date of fifteen years back , [Edward Fairfax Rochester]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} , of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , in [the county of -]_{6517-the county of -} , and of [Ferndean Manor]_{92-ferndean manor} , in -shire , [England]_21-england , was married to [[my]_{376-mr. briggs} sister]_{6518-my sister} , [Bertha Antoinetta Mason]_{378-bertha mason} , [daughter of [Jonas Mason]_{379-jonas mason} , [merchant]_{6520-merchant} , and of [Antoinetta]_{378-bertha mason} [[his]_{379-jonas mason} wife]_{4986-his wife} , a Creole , at - [church]_949-church , Spanish Town , [Jamaica]_72-jamaica]_{6519-daughter of jonas mason , merchant , and of antoinetta his wife , a creole , at - church , spanish town , jamaica} . The record of the marriage will be found in the register of [that church]_{6523-that church} - a copy of it is now in [my]_{376-mr. briggs} possession . Signed , [Richard Mason]_{380-richard mason} . ' "_{[376-mr. briggs]} " That - if a genuine document - may prove [I]_{376-mr. briggs} have been married , but it does not prove that [the woman mentioned therein]_{6524-the woman mentioned therein} as [[my]_{376-mr. briggs} wife]_{2180-my wife} is still living . "_{[376-mr. briggs]} " [She]_{6524-the woman mentioned therein} was living three months ago , "_{[2923-the lawyer]} returned [the lawyer]_{2923-the lawyer} . " How do [you]_{376-mr. briggs} know ? "_{[2923-the lawyer]} " [I]_{376-mr. briggs} have [a witness to the fact]_{6526-a witness to the fact} , whose testimony even [you]_{376-mr. briggs} , [sir]_4374-sir , will scarcely controvert . "_{[376-mr. briggs]} " Produce [him]_{251-mr. rochester} - or go to hell . "_{[2923-the lawyer]} " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will produce [him]_{251-mr. rochester} first - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is on the spot . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , have the goodness to step forward . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , on hearing the name , set [his]_{251-mr. rochester} teeth ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} experienced , too , a sort of strong convulsive quiver ; near to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} as [I]_0-i was , [I]_0-i felt the spasmodic movement of fury or despair run through [his]_{251-mr. rochester} frame . [The second stranger , who had hitherto lingered in the background]_{2924-the second stranger , who had hitherto lingered in the background} , now drew near ; a pale face looked over [the solicitor]_{2925-the solicitor} 's shoulder - yes , it was [Mason]_337-mason [himself]_337-mason . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} turned and glared at [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} eye , as [I]_0-i have often said , was a black eye : it had now a tawny , nay , a bloody light in its gloom ; and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} face flushed - olive cheek and hueless forehead received a glow as from spreading , ascending heart - fire : and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} stirred , lifted [his]_{251-mr. rochester} strong arm - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could have struck [Mason]_337-mason , dashed [him]_337-mason on [the church]_{6498-the church} - floor , shocked by ruthless blow the breath from [his]_{251-mr. rochester} body - but [Mason]_337-mason shrank away , and cried faintly , " [Good God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! "_[337-mason] [Contempt]_381-contempt fell cool on [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} - [his]_{251-mr. rochester} passion died as if a blight had shrivelled it up : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} only asked - " What have [YOU]_337-mason to say ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} An inaudible reply escaped [Mason]_337-mason 's white lips . " [The devil]_{2293-the devil} is in it if [you]_337-mason can not answer distinctly . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} again demand , what have [you]_337-mason to say ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [Sir]_4374-sir - [sir]_4374-sir , "_{[6499-the clergyman]} interrupted [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} , " do not forget [you]_337-mason are in a sacred place . "_{[6499-the clergyman]} Then addressing [Mason]_337-mason , [he]_{6499-the clergyman} inquired gently , " Are [you]_337-mason aware , [sir]_4374-sir , whether or not [[this gentleman]_{2343-this gentleman} 's wife]_{6533-this gentleman 's wife} is still living ? "_{[6499-the clergyman]} " Courage , "_{[2923-the lawyer]} urged [the lawyer]_{2923-the lawyer} , - ' speak out . " "_{[2923-the lawyer]} [She]_2929-her is now living at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , " said [Mason]_337-mason , in more articulate tones : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i saw [her]_2929-her there last [April]_382-april . [I]_0-i am [[her]_2929-her brother]_{6047-her brother} . " "_[0-i] At [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} ! " ejaculated [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} . "_[0-i] Impossible ! [I]_0-i am [an old resident in [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood}]_{2931-an old resident in this neighbourhood} , [sir]_4374-sir , and [I]_0-i never heard of [a Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} . " [I]_{363-mrs. rochester} saw a grim smile contort [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's lips , and [he]_0-i muttered - "_{[363-mrs. rochester]} No , by [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! [I]_0-i took care that [none]_914-none should hear of it - or of [her]_2929-her under that name . " [He]_0-i mused - for ten minutes [he]_0-i held counsel with [himself]_0-i : [he]_0-i formed [his]_0-i resolve , and announced it - "_[0-i] Enough ! all shall bolt out at once , like the bullet from the barrel . [Wood]_374-wood , close [your]_374-wood book and take off [your]_374-wood surplice ; [John Green]_{383-john green} to [the clerk]_{6500-the clerk} , leave [the church]_{6498-the church} : there will be no wedding to - day . " [The man]_{1375-the man} obeyed . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} continued , hardily and recklessly : "_{[383-john green]} Bigamy is an ugly word ! - [I]_0-i meant , however , to be [a bigamist]_{2937-a bigamist} ; but fate has out- manoeuvred [me]_0-i , or [Providence]_{272-providence} has checked [me]_0-i , - perhaps the last . [I]_0-i am little better than [a devil]_{5398-a devil} at this moment ; and , as [[my]_0-i pastor]_{2939-my pastor} there would tell [me]_0-i , deserve no doubt the sternest judgments of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , even to the quenchless fire and deathless worm . [Gentlemen]_{475-gentlemen} , [my]_0-i plan is broken up:- what [this lawyer]_{2941-this lawyer} and [[his]_{2941-this lawyer} client]_{2942-his client} say is true : [I]_0-i have been married , and [the woman to whom [I]_0-i was married]_{2943-the woman to whom i was married} lives ! [You]_{475-gentlemen} say [you]_{475-gentlemen} never heard of [a Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} at [the house up yonder]_{2944-the house up yonder} , [Wood]_374-wood ; but [I]_0-i daresay [you]_{475-gentlemen} have many a time inclined [your]_{475-gentlemen} ear to gossip about [the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch and ward]_{2945-the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch and ward} . [Some]_1182-some have whispered to [you]_{475-gentlemen} that [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} is [[my]_0-i bastard half - sister]_{2947-my bastard half - sister} : [some]_1182-some , [[my]_0-i cast - off mistress]_{2949-my cast - off mistress} . [I]_0-i now inform [you]_{475-gentlemen} that [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} is [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} , whom [I]_0-i married fifteen years ago , - [Bertha Mason]_{378-bertha mason} by name ; [sister of [this resolute personage]_{2952-this resolute personage} , who is now , with [his]_{2952-this resolute personage} quivering limbs and white cheeks , showing [you]_{475-gentlemen} what a stout heart [men]_482-men may bear]_{2951-sister of this resolute personage , who is now , with his quivering limbs and white cheeks , showing you what a stout heart men may bear} . Cheer up , [Dick]_350-dick ! - never fear [me]_0-i ! - [I]_0-i 'd almost as soon strike [a woman]_{4399-a woman} as [you]_{475-gentlemen} . [Bertha Mason]_{378-bertha mason} is mad ; and [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} came of [a mad family]_{2955-a mad family} ; [idiots]_2956-idiots and [maniacs through three generations]_{2957-maniacs through three generations} ! [[Her]_{363-mrs. rochester} mother]_{767-her mother} , [the Creole]_{2959-the creole} , was both [a madwoman]_{2960-a madwoman} and [a drunkard]_{2961-a drunkard} ! - as [I]_0-i found out after [I]_0-i had [we]_2962-we d [the daughter]_{2963-the daughter} : for [they]_2964-they were silent on family secrets before . [Bertha]_{378-bertha mason} , like [a dutiful child]_{2965-a dutiful child} , copied [[her]_{363-mrs. rochester} parent]_{6015-her parent} in both points . [I]_0-i had [a charming partner]_{2967-a charming partner} - pure , wise , modest : [you]_2968-you can fancy [I]_0-i was [a happy man]_{2969-a happy man} . [I]_0-i went through rich scenes ! Oh ! [my]_0-i experience has been heavenly , if [you]_2968-you only knew it ! But [I]_0-i owe [you]_2968-you no further explanation . [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} , [Wood]_374-wood , [Mason]_{378-bertha mason} , [I]_0-i invite [you]_2968-you all to come up to [the house]_{4322-the house} and visit [[Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} 's patient]_{2971-mrs. poole 's patient} , and [[MY]_0-i WIFE]_{2180-my wife} ! [You]_2968-you shall see what sort of a being [I]_0-i was cheated into espousing , and judge whether or not [I]_0-i had a right to break the compact , and seek sympathy with something at least human . [This girl]_{4724-this girl} , " [he]_0-i continued , looking at [me]_{4724-this girl} , "_{[4724-this girl]} knew no more than [you]_2968-you , [Wood]_374-wood , of the disgusting secret : [she]_{4724-this girl} thought all was fair and legal and never dreamt [she]_{4724-this girl} was going to be entrapped into a feigned union with [a defrauded wretch]_{2974-a defrauded wretch} , already bound to [a bad , mad , and embruted partner]_{2975-a bad , mad , and embruted partner} ! Come [all of [you]_2968-you]_{2976-all of you} - follow ! " Still holding [me]_2968-you fast , [he]_0-i left [the church]_{6498-the church} : [the three gentlemen]_{6537-the three gentlemen} came after . At the front door of [the hall]_{608-the hall} [we]_6539-we found [the carriage]_{654-the carriage} . "_[2968-you] Take it back to [the coach - house]_{2977-the coach - house} , [John]_{383-john green} , " said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} coolly ; "_{[383-john green]} it will not be wanted to - day . " At [our]_6539-we entrance , [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [Adele]_259-adele , [Sophie]_256-sophie , [Leah]_195-bessie , advanced to meet and greet [us]_6539-we . "_[2968-you] To the right - about - every soul ! " cried [the master]_{540-the master} ; "_[2968-you] away with [your]_2968-you congratulations ! Who wants [them]_2978-them ? Not [I]_0-i ! - [they]_2978-them are fifteen years too late ! " [He]_0-i passed on and ascended the stairs , still holding [my]_2968-you hand , and still beckoning [the gentlemen]_{1742-the gentlemen} to follow [him]_0-i , which [they]_{1742-the gentlemen} did . [We]_6539-we mounted the first staircase , passed up [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} , proceeded to [the third storey]_{1543-the third storey} : the low , black door , opened by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's master - key , admitted [us]_6539-we to [the tapestried room]_{6545-the tapestried room} , with [its]_{6545-the tapestried room} great bed and [its]_{6545-the tapestried room} pictorial cabinet . "_[2968-you] [You]_2968-you know [this place]_{2979-this place} , [Mason]_{378-bertha mason} , " said [[our]_6539-we guide]_{6546-our guide} ; ' [she]_{263-grace poole} bit and stabbed [you]_2968-you here . "_{[378-bertha mason]} [He]_{378-bertha mason} lifted the hangings from the wall , uncovering the second door : this , too , [he]_{378-bertha mason} opened . In [a room without a window]_{2980-a room without a window} , there burnt [a fire guarded by a high and strong fender]_{2981-a fire guarded by a high and strong fender} , and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a chain . [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} bent over the fire , apparently cooking something in a saucepan . In the deep shade , at the farther end of [the room]_{535-the room} , a figure ran backwards and forwards . What it was , whether beast or [human being]_{2983-human being} , one could not , at first sight , tell : it grovelled , seemingly , on all fours ; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal : but it was covered with clothing , and a quantity of dark , grizzled hair , wild as a mane , hid its head and face . " Good - morrow , [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} ! "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " How are [you]_{287-mrs. poole} ? and how is [your]_{287-mrs. poole} charge to - day ? "_{[251-mr. rochester]} " [We]_6539-we 're tolerable , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_{263-grace poole} thank [you]_4374-sir , "_{[263-grace poole]} replied [Grace]_{263-grace poole} , lifting the boiling mess carefully on to the hob : " rather snappish , but not ' rageous . "_{[263-grace poole]} A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to [her]_{263-grace poole} favourable report : the clothed hyena rose up , and stood tall on its hind - feet . " Ah ! [sir]_4374-sir , [she]_{2984-the maniac} sees [you]_4374-sir ! "_{[263-grace poole]} exclaimed [Grace]_{263-grace poole} : " [you]_4374-sir 'd better not stay . "_{[263-grace poole]} " Only a few moments , [Grace]_{263-grace poole} : [you]_4374-sir must allow [me]_{2984-the maniac} a few moments . "_{[2984-the maniac]} " Take care then , [sir]_4374-sir ! - for God 's sake , take care ! "_{[2984-the maniac]} [The maniac]_{2984-the maniac} bellowed : [she]_{2984-the maniac} parted [her]_{2984-the maniac} shaggy locks from [her]_{2984-the maniac} visage , and gazed wildly at [[her]_{2984-the maniac} visitors]_{2985-her visitors} . [I]_0-i recognised well that purple face , - those bloated features . [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} advanced . " Keep out of the way , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , thrusting [her]_{287-mrs. poole} aside : ' [she]_{287-mrs. poole} has no knife now , [I]_0-i suppose , and [I]_0-i 'm on [my]_0-i guard . " "_[4415-one] [One]_4415-one never knows what [she]_{287-mrs. poole} has , [sir]_4374-sir : [she]_{287-mrs. poole} is so cunning : it is not in mortal discretion to fathom [her]_{287-mrs. poole} craft . " "_{[287-mrs. poole]} [We]_2988-we had better leave [her]_{287-mrs. poole} , " whispered [Mason]_{378-bertha mason} . "_{[287-mrs. poole]} Go to the devil ! " was [[his]_{378-bertha mason} brother - in - law]_{6550-his brother - in - law} 's recommendation . "_[384-ware] ' [Ware]_384-ware ! " cried [Grace]_{263-grace poole} . [The three gentlemen]_{6537-the three gentlemen} retreated simultaneously . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} flung [me]_384-ware behind [him]_{251-mr. rochester} : [the lunatic]_{6552-the lunatic} sprang and grappled [his]_{251-mr. rochester} throat viciously , and laid [her]_{6552-the lunatic} teeth to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} cheek : [they]_{6537-the three gentlemen} struggled . [She]_{287-mrs. poole} was [a big woman]_{6553-a big woman} , in stature almost equalling [[her]_{287-mrs. poole} husband]_{620-her husband} , and corpulent besides : [she]_{287-mrs. poole} showed virile force in the contest - more than once [she]_{287-mrs. poole} almost throttled [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , athletic as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} could have settled [her]_{287-mrs. poole} with a well - planted blow ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would not strike : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would only wrestle . At last [he]_{251-mr. rochester} mastered [her]_{287-mrs. poole} arms ; [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} gave [him]_{251-mr. rochester} a cord , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} pinioned them behind [her]_{287-mrs. poole} : with more rope , which was at hand , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} bound [her]_{287-mrs. poole} to a chair . The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the most convulsive plunges . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} then turned to [the spectators]_{5645-the spectators} : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} looked at [them]_{5645-the spectators} with a smile both acrid and desolate . "_[384-ware] That is [[MY]_0-i WIFE]_{2180-my wife} , " said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} . "_{[2180-my wife]} Such is the sole conjugal embrace [I]_0-i am ever to know - such are the endearments which are to solace [my]_0-i leisure hours ! And THIS is what [I]_0-i wished to have " laying [his]_{251-mr. rochester} hand on [my]_{2180-my wife} shoulder : "_{[2180-my wife]} [this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell]_{2990-this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell} , looking collectedly at the gambols of [a demon]_{2991-a demon} , [I]_0-i wanted [her]_{2990-this young girl , who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell} just as a change after that fierce ragout . [Wood]_374-wood and [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} , look at the difference ! Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder - this face with that mask - this form with that bulk ; then judge [me]_0-i , [priest of the gospel]_{2992-priest of the gospel} and [man of the law]_{2993-man of the law} , and remember with what judgment [ye]_2994-you judge [ye]_2994-you shall be judged ! Off with [you]_2994-you now . [I]_0-i must shut up [my]_0-i prize . " [We]_6556-we all withdrew . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} stayed a moment behind [us]_6556-we , to give some further order to [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} . [The solicitor]_{2925-the solicitor} addressed [me]_2994-you as [he]_{2925-the solicitor} descended the stair . "_[2994-you] [You]_2994-you , [madam]_4457-madam , " said [he]_{2925-the solicitor} , "_[2994-you] are cleared from all blame : [[your]_2994-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} will be glad to hear it - if , indeed , [he]_{6081-your uncle} should be still living - when [Mr. Mason]_337-mason returns to [Madeira]_245-madeira . " "_[337-mason] [[My]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} ! What of [him]_{4421-my uncle} ? Do [you]_2994-you know [him]_{4421-my uncle} ? " "_[337-mason] [Mr. Mason]_337-mason does . [Mr. Eyre]_245-madeira has been [the Funchal correspondent of [[his]_{4421-my uncle} house]_{615-his house}]_{2998-the funchal correspondent of his house} for some years . When [[your]_2994-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} received [your]_2994-you letter intimating the contemplated union between [yourself]_2994-you and [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , who was staying at [Madeira]_245-madeira to recruit [his]_{4421-my uncle} health , on [his]_{4421-my uncle} way back to [Jamaica]_72-jamaica , happened to be with [him]_{4421-my uncle} . [Mr. Eyre]_245-madeira mentioned the intelligence ; for [he]_{4421-my uncle} knew that [[my]_0-i client]_{3001-my client} here was acquainted with [a gentleman of the name of Rochester]_{3002-a gentleman of the name of rochester} . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , astonished and distressed as [you]_2994-you may suppose , revealed the real state of matters . [[Your]_2994-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} , [I]_0-i am sorry to say , is now on a sick bed ; from which , considering the nature of [his]_{6081-your uncle} disease - decline - and the stage it has reached , it is unlikely [he]_{6081-your uncle} will ever rise . [He]_{6081-your uncle} could not then hasten to [England]_21-england [himself]_{6081-your uncle} , to extricate [you]_2994-you from the snare into which [you]_2994-you had fallen , but [he]_{6081-your uncle} implored [Mr. Mason]_337-mason to lose no time in taking steps to prevent the false marriage . [He]_{6081-your uncle} referred [him]_{6081-your uncle} to [me]_0-i for assistance . [I]_0-i used all despatch , and am thankful [I]_0-i was not too late : as [you]_2994-you , doubtless , must be also . Were [I]_0-i not morally certain that [[your]_2994-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} will be dead ere [you]_2994-you reach [Madeira]_245-madeira , [I]_0-i would advise [you]_2994-you to accompany [Mr. Mason]_337-mason back ; but as it is , [I]_0-i think [you]_2994-you had better remain in [England]_21-england till [you]_2994-you can hear further , either from or of [Mr. Eyre]_245-madeira . Have [we]_3005-we anything else to stay for ? " [he]_0-i inquired of [Mr. Mason]_337-mason . "_[0-i] No , no - let [us]_3005-we be gone , " was the anxious reply ; and without waiting to take leave of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [they]_3005-we made [their]_3005-we exit at [the hall]_{608-the hall} door . [The clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} stayed to exchange a few sentences , either of admonition or reproof , with [[his]_{6499-the clergyman} haughty parishioner]_{6560-his haughty parishioner} ; this duty done , [he]_{6499-the clergyman} too departed . [I]_0-i heard [him]_{6499-the clergyman} go as [I]_0-i stood at the half - open door of [[my]_0-i own room]_{4855-my own room} , to which [I]_0-i had now withdrawn . [The house]_{4322-the house} cleared , [I]_0-i shut [myself]_0-i in , fastened the bolt that none might intrude , and proceeded - not to weep , not to mourn , [I]_0-i was yet too calm for that , but - mechanically to take off the wedding dress , and replace it by the stuff gown [I]_0-i had worn yesterday , as [I]_0-i thought , for the last time . [I]_0-i then sat down : [I]_0-i felt weak and tired . [I]_0-i leaned [my]_0-i arms on a table , and [my]_0-i head dropped on them . And now [I]_0-i thought : till now [I]_0-i had only heard , seen , moved - followed up and down where [I]_0-i was led or dragged - watched event rush on event , disclosure open beyond disclosure : but NOW , [I]_0-i THOUGHT . The morning had been a quiet morning enough - all except the brief scene with [the lunatic]_{6552-the lunatic} : the transaction in [the church]_{6498-the church} had not been noisy ; there was no explosion of passion , no loud altercation , no dispute , no defiance or challenge , no tears , no sobs : a few words had been spoken , a calmly pronounced objection to the marriage made ; some stern , short questions put by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; answers , explanations given , evidence adduced ; an open admission of the truth had been uttered by [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} ; then the living proof had been seen ; [the intruders]_{6566-the intruders} were gone , and all was over . [I]_0-i was in [[my]_0-i own room]_{4855-my own room} as usual - just [myself]_0-i , without obvious change : nothing had smitten [me]_0-i , or scathed [me]_0-i , or maimed [me]_0-i . And yet where was [the Jane Eyre]_146-jane of yesterday ? - where was [her]_146-jane life ? - where were [her]_146-jane prospects ? [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , who had been [an ardent , expectant woman]_{6568-an ardent , expectant woman} - almost [a bride]_{6569-a bride} , was [a cold , solitary girl]_{6570-a cold , solitary girl} again : [her]_146-jane life was pale ; [her]_146-jane prospects were desolate . A Christmas frost had come at midsummer ; a white December storm had whirled over June ; ice glazed the ripe apples , drifts crushed the blowing roses ; on hayfield and [cornfield]_{6571-cornfield} lay a frozen shroud : lanes which last night blushed full of flowers , to - day were pathless with untrodden snow ; and [the woods]_{662-the woods} , which twelve hours since waved leafy and flagrant as groves between [the tropics]_{6573-the tropics} , now spread , waste , wild , and white as pine - forests in [wintry Norway]_5-norway . [My]_0-i hopes were all dead - struck with a subtle doom , such as , in one night , fell on [all the first - born in [the land of Egypt]_{6575-the land of egypt}]_{6574-all the first - born in the land of egypt} . [I]_0-i looked on [my]_0-i cherished wishes , yesterday so blooming and glowing ; they lay stark , chill , livid corpses that could never revive . [I]_0-i looked at [my]_0-i love : that feeling which was [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's - which [he]_{4336-my master} had created ; it shivered in [my]_0-i heart , like [a suffering child in a cold cradle]_{6577-a suffering child in a cold cradle} ; sickness and anguish had seized it ; it could not seek [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's arms - it could not derive warmth from [his]_{251-mr. rochester} breast . Oh , never more could it turn to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; for faith was blighted - confidence destroyed ! [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was not to [me]_0-i what [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had been ; for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not what [I]_0-i had thought [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i would not ascribe vice to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; [I]_0-i would not say [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had betrayed [me]_0-i ; but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from [his]_{251-mr. rochester} idea , and from [his]_{251-mr. rochester} presence [I]_0-i must go : THAT [I]_0-i perceived well . When - how - whither , [I]_0-i could not yet discern ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i doubted not , would hurry [me]_0-i from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . Real affection , it seemed , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could not have for [me]_0-i ; it had been only fitful passion : that was balked ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would want [me]_0-i no more . [I]_0-i should fear even to cross [his]_{251-mr. rochester} path now : [my]_0-i view must be hateful to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Oh , how blind had been [my]_0-i eyes ! How weak [my]_0-i conduct ! [My]_0-i eyes were covered and closed : eddying darkness seemed to swim round [me]_0-i , and reflection came in as black and confused a flow . Self - abandoned , relaxed , and effortless , [I]_0-i seemed to have laid [me]_0-i down in the dried - up bed of [a great river]_{6578-a great river} ; [I]_0-i heard a flood loosened in [remote mountains]_{6579-remote mountains} , and felt the torrent come : to rise [I]_0-i had no will , to flee [I]_0-i had no strength . [I]_0-i lay faint , longing to be dead . One idea only still throbbed life - like within [me]_0-i - a remembrance of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : it begot an unuttered prayer : these words went wandering up and down in [my]_0-i rayless mind , as something that should be whispered , but no energy was found to express them - "_[0-i] Be not far from [me]_0-i , for trouble is near : there is none to help . " It was near : and as [I]_0-i had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it - as [I]_0-i had neither joined [my]_0-i hands , nor bent [my]_0-i knees , nor moved [my]_0-i lips - it came : in full heavy swing the torrent poured over [me]_0-i . The whole consciousness of [my]_0-i life lorn , [my]_0-i love lost , [my]_0-i hope quenched , [my]_0-i faith death - struck , swayed full and mighty above [me]_0-i in one sullen mass . That bitter hour can not be described : in truth , "_[0-i] the waters came into [my]_0-i soul ; [I]_0-i sank in deep mire : [I]_0-i felt no standing ; [I]_0-i came into [deep waters]_{3006-deep waters} ; the floods overflowed [me]_0-i . " CHAPTER XXVII Some time in the afternoon [I]_0-i raised [my]_0-i head , and looking round and seeing the western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall , [I]_0-i asked , "_[0-i] What am [I]_0-i to do ? " But the answer [my]_0-i mind gave - "_[0-i] Leave [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} at once " - was so prompt , so dread , that [I]_0-i stopped [my]_0-i ears . [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i could not bear such words now . "_[0-i] That [I]_0-i am not [[Edward Rochester]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} 's bride]_{3007-edward rochester 's bride} is the least part of [my]_0-i woe , " [I]_0-i alleged : "_[0-i] that [I]_0-i have wakened out of most glorious dreams , and found them all void and vain , is a horror [I]_0-i could bear and master ; but that [I]_0-i must leave [him]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} decidedly , instantly , entirely , is intolerable . [I]_0-i can not do it . " But , then , a voice within [me]_0-i averred that [I]_0-i could do it and foretold that [I]_0-i should do it . [I]_0-i wrestled with [my]_0-i own resolution : [I]_0-i wanted to be weak that [I]_0-i might avoid the awful passage of further suffering [I]_0-i saw laid out for [me]_0-i ; and [Conscience]_{385-conscience} , turned tyrant , held [Passion]_386-passion by the throat , told [her]_6580-her tauntingly , [she]_6580-her had yet but dipped [her]_6580-her dainty foot in the slough , and swore that with that arm of iron [he]_6581-he would thrust [her]_6580-her down to unsounded depths of agony . "_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i be torn away , " then [I]_0-i cried . "_[0-i] Let another help [me]_0-i ! " "_[914-none] No ; [you]_0-i shall tear [yourself]_0-i away , [none]_914-none shall help [you]_0-i : [you]_0-i shall [yourself]_0-i pluck out [your]_0-i right eye ; [yourself]_0-i cut off [your]_0-i right hand : [your]_0-i heart shall be [the victim]_{3009-the victim} , and [you]_0-i [the priest]_{2903-the priest} to transfix it . " [I]_1114-friends rose up suddenly , terror - struck at the solitude which so ruthless [a judge]_{6582-a judge} haunted , - at the silence which so awful a voice filled . [My]_1114-friends head swam as [I]_1114-friends stood erect . [I]_1114-friends perceived that [I]_1114-friends was sickening from excitement and inanition ; neither meat nor drink had passed [my]_1114-friends lips that day , for [I]_1114-friends had taken no breakfast . And , with a strange pang , [I]_1114-friends now reflected that , long as [I]_1114-friends had been shut up here , no message had been sent to ask how [I]_1114-friends was , or to invite [me]_1114-friends to come down : not even [little Adele]_259-adele had tapped at the door ; not even [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had sought [me]_1114-friends . "_{[1114-friends]} [Friends]_1114-friends always forget those whom fortune forsakes , " [I]_3012-you murmured , as [I]_3012-you undrew the bolt and passed out . [I]_3012-you stumbled over an obstacle : [my]_3012-you head was still dizzy , [my]_3012-you sight was dim , and [my]_3012-you limbs were feeble . [I]_3012-you could not soon recover [myself]_3012-you . [I]_3012-you fell , but not on to the ground : an outstretched arm caught [me]_3012-you . [I]_3012-you looked up - [I]_3012-you was supported by [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , who sat in a chair across [my]_3012-you chamber threshold . "_[3012-you] [You]_3012-you come out at last , " [he]_0-i said . "_[3012-you] Well , [I]_0-i have been waiting for [you]_3012-you long , and listening : yet not one movement have [I]_0-i heard , nor one sob : five minutes more of that death - like hush , and [I]_0-i should have forced the lock like [a burglar]_{3013-a burglar} . So [you]_3012-you shun [me]_0-i ? - [you]_3012-you shut [yourself]_3012-you up and grieve alone ! [I]_0-i would rather [you]_3012-you had come and upbraided [me]_0-i with vehemence . [You]_3012-you are passionate . [I]_0-i expected a scene of some kind . [I]_0-i was prepared for the hot rain of tears ; only [I]_0-i wanted them to be shed on [my]_0-i breast : now a senseless floor has received them , or [your]_3012-you drenched handkerchief . But [I]_0-i err : [you]_3012-you have not wept at all ! [I]_0-i see a white cheek and a faded eye , but no trace of tears . [I]_0-i suppose , then , [your]_3012-you heart has been weeping blood ? " "_[0-i] Well , [Jane]_146-jane ! not a word of reproach ? Nothing bitter - nothing poignant ? Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a passion ? [You]_3012-you sit quietly where [I]_0-i have placed [you]_3012-you , and regard [me]_0-i with a weary , passive look . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i never meant to wound [you]_3012-you thus . If [the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to [him]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} as [a daughter]_{3015-a daughter}]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} , that ate of [his]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} bread and drank of [his]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} cup , and lay in [his]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} bosom , had by some mistake slaughtered it at the shambles , [he]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} would not have rued [his]_{3014-the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter} bloody blunder more than [I]_0-i now rue [mine]_0-i . Will [you]_3012-you ever forgive [me]_0-i ? " [Reader]_387-reader , [I]_3012-you forgave [him]_0-i at the moment and on the spot . There was such deep remorse in [his]_0-i eye , such true pity in [his]_0-i tone , such manly energy in [his]_0-i manner ; and besides , there was such unchanged love in [his]_0-i whole look and mien - [I]_3012-you forgave [him]_0-i all : yet not in words , not outwardly ; only at [my]_3012-you heart 's core . "_[3012-you] [You]_3012-you know [I]_0-i am [a scoundrel]_{3016-a scoundrel} , [Jane]_146-jane ? " ere long [he]_0-i inquired wistfully - wondering , [I]_146-jane suppose , at [my]_146-jane continued silence and tameness , the result rather of weakness than of will . "_[146-jane] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] Then tell [me]_0-i so roundly and sharply - do n't spare [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not : [I]_0-i am tired and sick . [I]_0-i want some water . " [He]_0-i heaved a sort of shuddering sigh , and taking [me]_0-i in [his]_0-i arms , carried [me]_0-i [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} . At first [I]_0-i did not know to what room [he]_0-i had borne [me]_0-i ; all was cloudy to [my]_0-i glazed sight : presently [I]_0-i felt the reviving warmth of a fire ; for , summer as it was , [I]_0-i had become icy cold in [[my]_0-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} . [He]_0-i put wine to [my]_0-i lips ; [I]_0-i tasted it and revived ; then [I]_0-i ate something [he]_0-i offered [me]_0-i , and was soon [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i was in [the library]_{659-the library} - sitting in [his]_0-i chair - [he]_0-i was quite near . "_[0-i] If [I]_0-i could go out of life now , without too sharp a pang , it would be well for [me]_0-i , " [I]_0-i thought ; "_[0-i] then [I]_0-i should not have to make the effort of cracking [my]_0-i heart - strings in rending them from among [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's . [I]_0-i must leave [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , it appears . [I]_0-i do not want to leave [him]_{251-mr. rochester} - [I]_0-i can not leave [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . " "_[0-i] How are [you]_0-i now , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[0-i] Much better , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_0-i shall be well soon . " "_[146-jane] Taste the wine again , [Jane]_146-jane . " [I]_146-jane obeyed [him]_0-i ; then [he]_0-i put the glass on the table , stood before [me]_146-jane , and looked at [me]_146-jane attentively . Suddenly [he]_0-i turned away , with an inarticulate exclamation , full of passionate emotion of some kind ; [he]_0-i walked fast through [the room]_{535-the room} and came back ; [he]_0-i stooped towards [me]_146-jane as if to kiss [me]_146-jane ; but [I]_146-jane remembered caresses were now forbidden . [I]_146-jane turned [my]_146-jane face away and put [his]_0-i aside . "_[146-jane] What ! - How is this ? " [he]_0-i exclaimed hastily . "_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i know ! [you]_0-i wo n't kiss [the husband of [Bertha Mason]_{378-bertha mason}]_{3019-the husband of bertha mason} ? [You]_0-i consider [my]_0-i arms filled and [my]_0-i embraces appropriated ? " "_[0-i] At any rate , there is neither room nor claim for [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[4374-sir] Why , [Jane]_146-jane ? [I]_0-i will spare [you]_146-jane the trouble of much talking ; [I]_0-i will answer for [you]_146-jane - Because [I]_0-i have [a wife]_{5665-a wife} already , [you]_146-jane would reply . - [I]_0-i guess rightly ? " "_[0-i] Yes . " "_[0-i] If [you]_146-jane think so , [you]_146-jane must have a strange opinion of [me]_0-i ; [you]_146-jane must regard [me]_0-i as [a plotting profligate]_{3022-a plotting profligate} - [a base and low rake who has been simulating disinterested love]_{3023-a base and low rake who has been simulating disinterested love} in order to draw [you]_146-jane into a snare deliberately laid , and strip [you]_146-jane of honour and rob [you]_146-jane of self- respect . What do [you]_146-jane say to that ? [I]_0-i see [you]_146-jane can say nothing in the first place , [you]_146-jane are faint still , and have enough to do to draw [your]_146-jane breath ; in the second place , [you]_146-jane can not yet accustom [yourself]_146-jane to accuse and revile [me]_0-i , and besides , the flood - gates of tears are opened , and they would rush out if [you]_146-jane spoke much ; and [you]_146-jane have no desire to expostulate , to upbraid , to make a scene : [you]_146-jane are thinking how TO ACT - TALKING [you]_146-jane consider is of no use . [I]_0-i know [you]_146-jane - [I]_0-i am on [my]_0-i guard . " "_[146-jane] [Sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i do not wish to act against [you]_4374-sir , " [I]_0-i said ; and [my]_0-i unsteady voice warned [me]_0-i to curtail [my]_0-i sentence . "_[0-i] Not in [your]_4374-sir sense of the word , but in [mine]_0-i [you]_4374-sir are scheming to destroy [me]_0-i . [You]_4374-sir have as good as said that [I]_0-i am [a married man]_{6172-a married man} - as [a married man]_{6172-a married man} [you]_4374-sir will shun [me]_0-i , keep out of [my]_0-i way : just now [you]_4374-sir have refused to kiss [me]_0-i . [You]_4374-sir intend to make [yourself]_4374-sir [a complete stranger to [me]_0-i]_{3027-a complete stranger to me} : to live under this roof only as [[Adele]_259-adele 's governess]_{2837-adele 's governess} ; if ever [I]_0-i say a friendly word to [you]_4374-sir , if ever a friendly feeling inclines [you]_4374-sir again to [me]_0-i , [you]_4374-sir will say , - ' [That man]_{3029-that man} had nearly made [me]_0-i [[his]_{3029-that man} mistress]_{3030-his mistress} : [I]_0-i must be ice and rock to [him]_{3029-that man} ; ' and ice and rock [you]_4374-sir will accordingly become . " [I]_{3029-that man} cleared and steadied [my]_{3029-that man} voice to reply : "_{[3029-that man]} All is changed about [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_0-i must change too - there is no doubt of that ; and to avoid fluctuations of feeling , and continual combats with recollections and associations , there is only one way - [Adele]_259-adele must have [a new governess]_{1405-a new governess} , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_{[1405-a new governess]} Oh , [Adele]_259-adele will go to [school]_537-school - [I]_0-i have settled that already ; nor do [I]_0-i mean to torment [you]_4374-sir with the hideous associations and recollections of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} - [this accursed place]_{3035-this accursed place} - [this tent of [Achan]_388-achan]_{3036-this tent of achan} - [this insolent vault]_{3037-this insolent vault} , offering the ghastliness of living death to the light of the open sky - [this narrow stone hell , with [its]_{3038-this narrow stone hell , with its one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as we imagine} one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as [we]_3039-we imagine]_{3038-this narrow stone hell , with its one real fiend , worse than a legion of such as we imagine} . [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_4374-sir shall not stay [here]_4312-here , nor will [I.]_0-i [I]_0-i was wrong ever to bring [you]_4374-sir to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , knowing as [I]_0-i did how [it]_{53-thornfield hall} was haunted . [I]_0-i charged [them]_3041-them to conceal from [you]_4374-sir , before [I]_0-i ever saw [you]_4374-sir , all knowledge of the curse of [the place]_{1554-the place} ; merely because [I]_0-i feared [Adele]_259-adele never would have [a governess]_{5029-a governess} to stay if [she]_259-adele knew with what inmate [she]_259-adele was housed , and [my]_0-i plans would not permit [me]_0-i to remove [the maniac]_{2984-the maniac} elsewhere - though [I]_0-i possess [an old house]_{3045-an old house} , [Ferndean Manor]_{92-ferndean manor} , even more retired and hidden than this , where [I]_0-i could have lodged [her]_259-adele safely enough , had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation , in the heart of a wood , made [my]_0-i conscience recoil from the arrangement . Probably those damp walls would soon have eased [me]_0-i of [her]_259-adele charge : but to [each villain]_{3046-each villain} [his]_{3046-each villain} own vice ; and mine is not a tendency to indirect assassination , even of what [I]_0-i most hate . " Concealing [the mad - woman]_{6587-the mad - woman} 's neighbourhood from [you]_6588-you , however , was something like covering [a child]_{4305-a child} with a cloak and laying it down near a upas - tree : [that demon]_{6590-that demon} 's vicinage is poisoned , and always was . But [I]_3047-i 'll shut up [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} : [I]_3047-i 'll nail up the front door and board the lower windows : [I]_3047-i 'll give [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} two hundred a year to live [here]_4312-here with [[MY]_3047-i WIFE]_{2180-my wife} , as [you]_6588-you term [that fearful hag]_{6593-that fearful hag} : [Grace]_{263-grace poole} will do much for money , and [she]_{263-grace poole} shall have [[her]_{263-grace poole} son]_{4661-her son} , [the keeper at [Grimsby Retreat]_{95-grimsby retreat}]_{6595-the keeper at grimsby retreat} , to bear [her]_{263-grace poole} company and be at hand to give [her]_{263-grace poole} aid in the paroxysms , when [[MY]_3047-i WIFE]_{2180-my wife} is prompted by [her]_{2180-my wife} familiar to burn [people]_4493-people in [[their]_4493-people beds]_{6598-their beds} at night , to stab [them]_4493-people , to bite [their]_4493-people flesh from [their]_4493-people bones , and so on - "_[3047-i] " [Sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i interrupted [him]_3047-i , " [you]_3047-i are inexorable for [that unfortunate lady]_{6600-that unfortunate lady} : [you]_3047-i speak of [her]_{6600-that unfortunate lady} with hate - with vindictive antipathy . It is cruel - [she]_{6600-that unfortunate lady} can not help being mad . "_[0-i] " [Jane]_146-jane , [[my]_3047-i little darling]_{6601-my little darling} so [I]_3047-i will call [you]_146-jane , for so [you]_146-jane are , [you]_146-jane do n't know what [you]_146-jane are talking about ; [you]_146-jane misjudge [me]_3047-i again : it is not because [she]_{6600-that unfortunate lady} is mad [I]_3047-i hate [her]_{6600-that unfortunate lady} . If [you]_3047-i were mad , do [you]_3047-i think [I]_3047-i should hate [you]_3047-i ? "_[3047-i] " [I]_3047-i do indeed , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[3047-i] " Then [you]_146-jane are mistaken , and [you]_146-jane know nothing about [me]_3047-i , and nothing about the sort of love of which [I]_3047-i am capable . Every atom of [your]_146-jane flesh is as dear to [me]_3047-i as [my]_3047-i own : in pain and sickness it would still be dear . [Your]_146-jane mind is [my]_3047-i treasure , and if it were broken , it would be [my]_3047-i treasure still : if [you]_146-jane raved , [my]_3047-i arms should confine [you]_146-jane , and not a strait waistcoat - [your]_146-jane grasp , even in fury , would have a charm for [me]_3047-i : if [you]_146-jane flew at [me]_3047-i as wildly as [that woman]_{5442-that woman} did this morning , [I]_3047-i should receive [you]_146-jane in an embrace , at least as fond as it would be restrictive . [I]_3047-i should not shrink from [you]_146-jane with disgust as [I]_3047-i did from [her]_{5442-that woman} : in [your]_146-jane quiet moments [you]_146-jane should have [no watcher]_{6604-no watcher} and [no nurse]_{6073-no nurse} but [me]_3047-i ; and [I]_3047-i could hang over [you]_146-jane with untiring tenderness , though [you]_146-jane gave [me]_3047-i no smile in return ; and never weary of gazing into [your]_146-jane eyes , though they had no longer a ray of recognition for [me]_3047-i . - But why do [I]_3047-i follow that train of ideas ? [I]_3047-i was talking of removing [you]_146-jane from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . All , [you]_146-jane know , is prepared for prompt departure : to - morrow [you]_146-jane shall go . [I]_3047-i only ask [you]_146-jane to endure one more night under this roof , [Jane]_146-jane ; and then , farewell to its miseries and terrors for ever ! [I]_3047-i have a place to repair to , which will be a secure sanctuary from hateful reminiscences , from unwelcome intrusion - even from falsehood and slander . "_[3047-i] " And take [Adele]_259-adele with [you]_3049-you , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i interrupted ; ' [she]_3048-she will be a companion for [you]_3049-you . " "_[0-i] What do [you]_3049-you mean , [Jane]_146-jane ? [I]_0-i told [you]_146-jane [I]_0-i would send [Adele]_259-adele to [school]_537-school ; and what do [I]_0-i want with [a child]_{4305-a child} for [a companion]_{1021-a companion} , and not [[my]_0-i own child]_{2622-my own child} , - [a French dancer 's bastard]_{3054-a french dancer 's bastard} ? Why do [you]_3049-you importune [me]_0-i about [her]_259-adele ! [I]_0-i say , why do [you]_3049-you assign [Adele]_259-adele to [me]_0-i for [a companion]_{1021-a companion} ? " "_[0-i] [You]_3049-you spoke of a retirement , [sir]_4374-sir ; and retirement and solitude are dull : too dull for [you]_3049-you . " "_[3049-you] Solitude ! solitude ! " [he]_0-i reiterated with irritation . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i must come to an explanation . [I]_0-i do n't know what sphynx - like expression is forming in [your]_4374-sir countenance . [You]_4374-sir are to share [my]_0-i solitude . Do [you]_4374-sir understand ? " [I]_4374-sir shook [my]_4374-sir head : it required a degree of courage , excited as [he]_0-i was becoming , even to risk that mute sign of dissent . [He]_0-i had been walking fast about [the room]_{535-the room} , and [he]_0-i stopped , as if suddenly rooted to one spot . [He]_0-i looked at [me]_4374-sir long and hard : [I]_4374-sir turned [my]_4374-sir eyes from [him]_0-i , fixed them on the fire , and tried to assume and maintain a quiet , collected aspect . "_[4374-sir] Now for the hitch in [Jane]_146-jane 's character , " [he]_0-i said at last , speaking more calmly than from [his]_0-i look [I]_4374-sir had expected [him]_0-i to speak . "_[4374-sir] The reel of silk has run smoothly enough so far ; but [I]_0-i always knew there would come a knot and a puzzle : here it is . Now for vexation , and exasperation , and endless trouble ! By [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! [I]_0-i long to exert a fraction of [Samson]_198-sam 's strength , and break the entanglement like tow ! " [He]_0-i recommenced [his]_0-i walk , but soon again stopped , and this time just before [me]_146-jane . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! will [you]_146-jane hear reason ? " [he]_0-i stooped and approached [his]_0-i lips to [my]_146-jane ear ; "_[146-jane] because , if [you]_146-jane wo n't , [I]_0-i 'll try violence . " [His]_0-i voice was hoarse ; [his]_0-i look that of [a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and plunge headlong into wild license]_{6608-a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and plunge headlong into wild license} . [I]_0-i saw that in another moment , and with one impetus of frenzy more , [I]_0-i should be able to do nothing with [him]_0-i . The present - the passing second of time - was all [I]_0-i had in which to control and restrain [him]_0-i - a movement of repulsion , flight , fear would have sealed [my]_0-i doom , - and [his]_0-i . But [I]_0-i was not afraid : not in the least . [I]_0-i felt an inward power ; a sense of influence , which supported [me]_0-i . The crisis was perilous ; but not without its charm : such as [the Indian]_{6609-the indian} , perhaps , feels when [he]_{6609-the indian} slips over the rapid in [his]_{6609-the indian} canoe . [I]_0-i took hold of [his]_0-i clenched hand , loosened the contorted fingers , and said to [him]_0-i , soothingly - "_[0-i] Sit down ; [I]_0-i 'll talk to [you]_3057-you as long as [you]_3057-you like , and hear all [you]_3057-you have to say , whether reasonable or unreasonable . " [He]_0-i sat down : but [he]_0-i did not get leave to speak directly . [I]_0-i had been struggling with tears for some time : [I]_0-i had taken great pains to repress them , because [I]_0-i knew [he]_0-i would not like to see [me]_0-i weep . Now , however , [I]_0-i considered it well to let them flow as freely and as long as [they]_6610-they liked . If the flood annoyed [him]_0-i , so much the better . So [I]_0-i gave way and cried heartily . Soon [I]_0-i heard [him]_0-i earnestly entreating [me]_0-i to be composed . [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i could not while [he]_0-i was in such a passion . "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i am not angry , [Jane]_146-jane : [I]_0-i only love [you]_146-jane too well ; and [you]_146-jane had steeled [your]_146-jane little pale face with such a resolute , frozen look , [I]_0-i could not endure it . Hush , now , and wipe [your]_146-jane eyes . " [His]_0-i softened voice announced that [he]_0-i was subdued ; so [I]_146-jane , in [my]_146-jane turn , became calm . Now [he]_0-i made an effort to rest [his]_0-i head on [my]_146-jane shoulder , but [I]_146-jane would not permit it . Then [he]_0-i would draw [me]_146-jane to [him]_0-i : no . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! " [he]_0-i said , in such an accent of bitter sadness it thrilled along every nerve [I]_146-jane had ; "_[146-jane] [you]_146-jane do n't love [me]_0-i , then ? It was only [my]_0-i station , and the rank of [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} , that [you]_146-jane valued ? Now that [you]_146-jane think [me]_0-i disqualified to become [[your]_146-jane husband]_{3059-your husband} , [you]_146-jane recoil from [my]_0-i touch as if [I]_0-i were [some toad or ape]_{3060-some toad or ape} . " These words cut [me]_146-jane : yet what could [I]_146-jane do or [I]_146-jane say ? [I]_146-jane ought probably to have done or said nothing ; but [I]_146-jane was so tortured by a sense of remorse at thus hurting [his]_0-i feelings , [I]_146-jane could not control the wish to drop balm where [I]_146-jane had wounded . "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i DO love [you]_0-i , " [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] more than ever : but [I]_0-i must not show or indulge the feeling : and this is the last time [I]_0-i must express it . " "_[146-jane] The last time , [Jane]_146-jane ! What ! do [you]_0-i think [you]_0-i can live with [me]_0-i , and see [me]_0-i daily , and yet , if [you]_0-i still love [me]_0-i , be always cold and distant ? " "_[4374-sir] No , [sir]_4374-sir ; that [I]_0-i am certain [I]_0-i could not ; and therefore [I]_0-i see there is but one way : but [you]_0-i will be furious if [I]_0-i mention it . " "_[0-i] Oh , mention it ! If [I]_0-i storm , [you]_0-i have the art of weeping . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i must leave [you]_{251-mr. rochester} . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} For how long , [Jane]_146-jane ? For a few minutes , while [you]_0-i smooth [your]_0-i hair - which is somewhat dishevelled ; and bathe [your]_0-i face - which looks feverish ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must leave [Adele]_259-adele and [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . [I]_0-i must part with [you]_{251-mr. rochester} for [my]_0-i whole life : [I]_0-i must begin a new existence among strange faces and strange scenes . " "_[0-i] Of course : [I]_0-i told [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [you]_{251-mr. rochester} should . [I]_0-i pass over the madness about parting from [me]_0-i . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} mean [you]_{251-mr. rochester} must become a part of [me]_0-i . As to the new existence , it is all right : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} shall yet be [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} : [I]_0-i am not married . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} shall be [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} - both virtually and nominally . [I]_0-i shall keep only to [you]_{251-mr. rochester} so long as [you]_{251-mr. rochester} and [I]_0-i live . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} shall go to [a place [I]_0-i have in [the south of [France]_33-france]_{3064-the south of france}]_{3063-a place i have in the south of france} : [a whitewashed villa on [the shores of [the Mediterranean]_{96-the mediterranean}]_{3066-the shores of the mediterranean}]_{3065-a whitewashed villa on the shores of the mediterranean} . There [you]_{251-mr. rochester} shall live a happy , and guarded , and most innocent life . Never fear that [I]_0-i wish to lure [you]_{251-mr. rochester} into error - to make [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [[my]_0-i mistress]_{3067-my mistress} . Why did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} shake [your]_{251-mr. rochester} head ? [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} must be reasonable , or in truth [I]_0-i shall again become frantic . " [His]_4374-sir voice and hand quivered : [his]_4374-sir large nostrils dilated ; [his]_4374-sir eye blazed : still [I]_0-i dared to speak . "_[0-i] [Sir]_4374-sir , [[your]_4374-sir wife]_{6190-your wife} is living : that is a fact acknowledged this morning by [yourself]_4374-sir . If [I]_0-i lived with [you]_4374-sir as [you]_4374-sir desire , [I]_0-i should then be [[your]_4374-sir mistress]_{4411-your mistress} : to say otherwise is sophistical - is false . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i am not [a gentle - tempered man]_{3071-a gentle - tempered man} - [you]_146-jane forget that : [I]_0-i am not long - enduring ; [I]_0-i am not cool and dispassionate . Out of pity to [me]_0-i and [yourself]_146-jane , put [your]_146-jane finger on [my]_0-i pulse , feel how it throbs , and - beware ! " [He]_0-i bared [his]_0-i wrist , and offered it to [me]_146-jane : the blood was forsaking [his]_0-i cheek and lips , they were growing livid ; [I]_146-jane was distressed on all hands . To agitate [him]_0-i thus deeply , by a resistance [he]_0-i so abhorred , was cruel : to yield was out of the question . [I]_146-jane did what [human beings]_{754-human beings} do instinctively when [they]_{754-human beings} are driven to utter extremity - looked for aid to one higher than [man]_4667-man : the words "_[146-jane] God help [me]_0-i ! " burst involuntarily from [my]_146-jane lips . "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i am [a fool]_{1546-a fool} ! " cried [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} suddenly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i keep telling [her]_3073-her [I]_0-i am not married , and do not explain to [her]_3073-her why . [I]_0-i forget [she]_3073-her knows nothing of the character of [that woman]_{5442-that woman} , or of the circumstances attending [my]_0-i infernal union with [her]_3073-her . Oh , [I]_0-i am certain [Jane]_146-jane will agree with [me]_0-i in opinion , when [she]_3073-her knows all that [I]_0-i know ! Just put [your]_146-jane hand in [mine]_0-i , [Janet]_265-janet - that [I]_0-i may have the evidence of touch as well as sight , to prove [you]_146-jane are near [me]_0-i - and [I]_0-i will in a few words show [you]_146-jane the real state of the case . Can [you]_146-jane listen to [me]_0-i ? " "_[4374-sir] Yes , [sir]_4374-sir ; for hours if [you]_4374-sir will . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ask only minutes . [Jane]_146-jane , did [you]_146-jane ever hear or know that [I]_0-i was not [the eldest son of [[my]_0-i house]_{4395-my house}]_{3076-the eldest son of my house} : that [I]_0-i had once [a brother older than [I]_0-i]_{3078-a brother older than i} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i remember [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} told [me]_0-i so once . " "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} And did [you]_146-jane ever hear that [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} was [an avaricious , grasping man]_{3080-an avaricious , grasping man} ? " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i have understood something to that effect . " "_[146-jane] Well , [Jane]_146-jane , being so , it was [his]_{682-my father} resolution to keep [the property]_{5215-the property} together ; [he]_{682-my father} could not bear the idea of dividing [his]_{682-my father} estate and leaving [me]_0-i a fair portion : all , [he]_{682-my father} resolved , should go to [[my]_0-i brother]_{3082-my brother} , [Rowland]_{251-mr. rochester} . Yet as little could [he]_{682-my father} endure that [a son of]_{3083-a son of} [his]_{682-my father} should be [a poor man]_{3084-a poor man} . [I]_0-i must be provided for by a wealthy marriage . [He]_{682-my father} sought [me]_0-i a partner betimes . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , [a West India planter and merchant]_{3085-a west india planter and merchant} , was [[his]_{682-my father} old acquaintance]_{3086-his old acquaintance} . [He]_337-mason was certain [his]_337-mason possessions were real and vast : [he]_337-mason made inquiries . [Mr. Mason]_337-mason , [he]_337-mason found , had [a son]_{3087-a son} and [daughter]_{3088-daughter} ; and [he]_337-mason learned from [him]_337-mason that [he]_337-mason could and would give [the latter]_{719-the latter} a fortune of thirty thousand pounds : that sufficed . When [I]_0-i left [college]_3090-college , [I]_0-i was sent out to [Jamaica]_72-jamaica , to espouse [a bride already courted for [me]_0-i]_{3091-a bride already courted for me} . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} said nothing about [her]_{3091-a bride already courted for me} money ; but [he]_{682-my father} told [me]_0-i [Miss Mason]_{389-miss mason} was the boast of [Spanish Town]_{2295-spanish town} for [her]_{389-miss mason} beauty : and this was no lie . [I]_0-i found [her]_{389-miss mason} [a fine woman]_{3094-a fine woman} , in the style of [Blanche Ingram]_{295-mrs. fairfax} : tall , dark , and majestic . [[Her]_{389-miss mason} family]_{4876-her family} wished to secure [me]_0-i because [I]_0-i was of a good race ; and so did [she]_{389-miss mason} . [They]_{4876-her family} showed [her]_{389-miss mason} to [me]_0-i in parties , splendidly dressed . [I]_0-i seldom saw [her]_{389-miss mason} alone , and had very little private conversation with [her]_{389-miss mason} . [She]_{389-miss mason} flattered [me]_0-i , and lavishly displayed for [my]_0-i pleasure [her]_{389-miss mason} charms and accomplishments . [All the men in [her]_{389-miss mason} circle]_{3096-all the men in her circle} seemed to admire [her]_{389-miss mason} and envy [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i was dazzled , stimulated : [my]_0-i senses were excited ; and being ignorant , raw , and inexperienced , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i loved [her]_{389-miss mason} . There is no folly so besotted that [the idiotic rivalries of society]_{3097-the idiotic rivalries of society} , the prurience , the rashness , the blindness of youth , will not hurry [a man]_{4429-a man} to its commission . [[Her]_{389-miss mason} relatives]_{3099-her relatives} encouraged [me]_0-i ; competitors piqued [me]_0-i ; [she]_{389-miss mason} allured [me]_0-i : a marriage was achieved almost before [I]_0-i knew where [I]_0-i was . Oh , [I]_0-i have no respect for [myself]_0-i when [I]_0-i think of that act ! - an agony of inward contempt masters [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i never loved , [I]_0-i never esteemed , [I]_0-i did not even know [her]_{389-miss mason} . [I]_0-i was not sure of the existence of one virtue in [her]_{389-miss mason} nature : [I]_0-i had marked neither modesty , nor benevolence , nor candour , nor refinement in [her]_{389-miss mason} mind or manners - and , [I]_0-i married [[her:-]_{389-miss mason} gross , grovelling , mole - eyed blockhead that [I]_0-i was]_{3100-her:- gross , grovelling , mole - eyed blockhead that i was} ! With less sin [I]_0-i might have - But let [me]_0-i remember to whom [I]_0-i am speaking . " "_[0-i] [[[My]_0-i bride]_{2506-my bride} 's mother]_{3102-my bride 's mother} [I]_0-i had never seen : [I]_0-i understood [she]_{3102-my bride 's mother} was dead . The honeymoon over , [I]_0-i learned [my]_0-i mistake ; [she]_{3102-my bride 's mother} was only mad , and shut up in [a lunatic asylum]_{3103-a lunatic asylum} . There was [a younger brother]_{3104-a younger brother} , too - [a complete dumb idiot]_{3105-a complete dumb idiot} . [The elder one]_{3106-the elder one} , whom [you]_3107-you have seen and whom [I]_0-i can not hate , whilst [I]_0-i abhor all [his]_{3106-the elder one} kindred , because [he]_{3106-the elder one} has some grains of affection in [his]_{3106-the elder one} feeble mind , shown in the continued interest [he]_{3106-the elder one} takes in [[his]_{3106-the elder one} wretched sister]_{3108-his wretched sister} , and also in a dog - like attachment [he]_{3106-the elder one} once bore [me]_0-i , will probably be in the same state one day . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} and [[my]_0-i brother]_{3082-my brother} [Rowland]_{251-mr. rochester} knew all this ; but [they]_3111-they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds , and joined in the plot against [me]_0-i . " "_[3111-they] These were vile discoveries ; but except for the treachery of concealment , [I]_0-i should have made them no subject of reproach to [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} , even when [I]_0-i found [her]_{2180-my wife} nature wholly alien to [mine]_0-i , [her]_{2180-my wife} tastes obnoxious to [me]_0-i , [her]_{2180-my wife} cast of mind common , low , narrow , and singularly incapable of being led to anything higher , expanded to anything larger - when [I]_0-i found that [I]_0-i could not pass a single evening , nor even a single hour of the day with [her]_{2180-my wife} in comfort ; that kindly conversation could not be sustained between [us]_3113-us , because whatever topic [I]_0-i started , immediately received from [her]_{2180-my wife} a turn at once coarse and trite , perverse and imbecile - when [I]_0-i perceived that [I]_0-i should never have a quiet or settled household , because [no servant]_{3114-no servant} would bear the continued outbreaks of [her]_{2180-my wife} violent and unreasonable temper , or the vexations of [her]_{2180-my wife} absurd , contradictory , exacting orders - even then [I]_0-i restrained [myself]_0-i : [I]_0-i eschewed upbraiding , [I]_0-i curtailed remonstrance ; [I]_0-i tried to devour [my]_0-i repentance and disgust in secret ; [I]_0-i repressed the deep antipathy [I]_0-i felt . " [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i will not trouble [you]_146-jane with abominable details : some strong words shall express what [I]_0-i have to say . [I]_0-i lived with [that woman]_{5442-that woman} upstairs four years , and before that time [she]_{5442-that woman} had tried [me]_0-i indeed : [her]_{5442-that woman} character ripened and developed with frightful rapidity ; [her]_{5442-that woman} vices sprang up fast and rank : they were so strong , only cruelty could check them , and [I]_0-i would not use cruelty . What a pigmy intellect [she]_{5442-that woman} had , and what giant propensities ! How fearful were the curses those propensities entailed on [me]_0-i ! [Bertha Mason]_{378-bertha mason} , [the true daughter of [an infamous mother]_{6615-an infamous mother}]_{6614-the true daughter of an infamous mother} , dragged [me]_0-i through all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a man bound to [a wife]_{5665-a wife} at once intemperate and unchaste . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i brother]_{3082-my brother} in the interval was dead , and at the end of the four years [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} died too . [I]_0-i was rich enough now - yet poor to hideous indigence : a nature the most gross , impure , depraved [I]_0-i ever saw , was associated with [mine]_0-i , and called by the law and by society a part of [me]_0-i . And [I]_0-i could not rid [myself]_0-i of it by any legal proceedings : for [the doctors]_{3117-the doctors} now discovered that [[MY]_0-i WIFE]_{2180-my wife} was mad - [her]_{2180-my wife} excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity . [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane do n't like [my]_0-i narrative ; [you]_146-jane look almost sick - shall [I]_0-i defer the rest to another day ? " "_[4374-sir] No , [sir]_4374-sir , finish it now ; [I]_0-i pity [you]_146-jane - [I]_0-i do earnestly pity [you]_146-jane . " "_[0-i] Pity , [Jane]_146-jane , from [some people]_{4928-some people} is a noxious and insulting sort of tribute , which [one]_4415-one is justified in hurling back in the teeth of [those who offer it]_{3122-those who offer it} ; but that is the sort of pity native to [callous , selfish hearts]_{3123-callous , selfish hearts} ; it is a hybrid , egotistical pain at hearing of woes , crossed with ignorant contempt for those who have endured [them]_3124-them . But that is not [your]_146-jane pity , [Jane]_146-jane ; it is not the feeling of which [your]_146-jane whole face is full at this moment - with which [your]_146-jane eyes are now almost overflowing - with which [your]_146-jane heart is heaving - with which [your]_146-jane hand is trembling in [mine]_0-i . [Your]_146-jane pity , [[my]_0-i darling]_{6201-my darling} , is [the suffering mother of love]_{3126-the suffering mother of love} : its anguish is the very natal pang of the divine passion . [I]_0-i accept it , [Jane]_146-jane ; let [the daughter]_{2963-the daughter} have free advent - [my]_0-i arms wait to receive [her]_{2963-the daughter} . " "_[0-i] Now , [sir]_4374-sir , proceed ; what did [you]_4374-sir do when [you]_4374-sir found [she]_{2963-the daughter} was mad ? " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i approached the verge of despair ; a remnant of self - respect was all that intervened between [me]_0-i and [the gulf]_{6357-the gulf} . In the eyes of [the world]_{484-the world} , [I]_0-i was doubtless covered with grimy dishonour ; but [I]_0-i resolved to be clean in [my]_0-i own sight - and to the last [I]_0-i repudiated the contamination of [her]_{2963-the daughter} crimes , and wrenched [myself]_0-i from connection with [her]_{2963-the daughter} mental defects . Still , [society]_3131-society associated [my]_0-i name and person with [hers]_{2963-the daughter} ; [I]_0-i yet saw [her]_{2963-the daughter} and heard [her]_{2963-the daughter} daily : something of [her]_{2963-the daughter} breath faugh ! mixed with the air [I]_0-i breathed ; and besides , [I]_0-i remembered [I]_0-i had once been [[her]_{2963-the daughter} husband]_{620-her husband} - that recollection was then , and is now , inexpressibly odious to [me]_0-i ; moreover , [I]_0-i knew that while [she]_{2963-the daughter} lived [I]_0-i could never be [the husband of another and better wife]_{3133-the husband of another and better wife} ; and , though five years [my]_0-i senior [[her]_{2963-the daughter} family]_{4876-her family} and [[her]_{2963-the daughter} father]_{1141-her father} had lied to [me]_0-i even in the particular of [her]_{2963-the daughter} age , [she]_{2963-the daughter} was likely to live as long as [I]_0-i , being as robust in frame as [she]_{2963-the daughter} was infirm in mind . Thus , at the age of twenty - six , [I]_0-i was hopeless . " One night [I]_0-i had been awakened by [her]_{2963-the daughter} yells - since [the medical men]_{6617-the medical men} had pronounced [her]_{2963-the daughter} mad , [she]_{2963-the daughter} had , of course , been shut up - it was a fiery West Indian night ; one of the description that frequently precede the hurricanes of those climates . Being unable to sleep in bed , [I]_0-i got up and opened the window . The air was like sulphur - steams - [I]_0-i could find no refreshment anywhere . Mosquitoes came buzzing in and hummed sullenly round [the room]_{535-the room} ; [the sea]_{5042-the sea} , which [I]_0-i could hear from thence , rumbled dull like an earthquake - black clouds were casting up over [it]_{5042-the sea} ; the moon was setting in the waves , broad and red , like a hot cannon - ball - [she]_{2963-the daughter} threw [her]_{2963-the daughter} last bloody glance over a world quivering with the ferment of tempest . [I]_0-i was physically influenced by the atmosphere and scene , and [my]_0-i ears were filled with the curses [the maniac]_{2984-the maniac} still shrieked out ; wherein [she]_{2963-the daughter} momentarily mingled [my]_0-i name with such a tone of demon - hate , with such language ! - [no professed harlot]_{6621-no professed harlot} ever had a fouler vocabulary than [she]_{2963-the daughter} : though [two rooms]_{6622-two rooms} off , [I]_0-i heard every word - the thin partitions of [the West India house]_{6623-the west india house} opposing but slight obstruction to [her]_{2963-the daughter} wolfish cries . "_[0-i] ' This life , ' said [I]_0-i at last , ' is hell : this is the air - those are the sounds of [the bottomless pit]_{3136-the bottomless pit} ! [I]_0-i have a right to deliver [myself]_0-i from it if [I]_0-i can . The sufferings of this mortal state will leave [me]_0-i with the heavy flesh that now cumbers [my]_0-i soul . Of [the fanatic]_{3137-the fanatic} 's burning eternity [I]_0-i have no fear : there is not a future state worse than this present one - let [me]_0-i break away , and go [home]_509-home to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! ' " [I]_0-i said this whilst [I]_0-i knelt down at , and unlocked a trunk which contained a brace of loaded pistols : [I]_0-i mean to shoot [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i only entertained the intention for a moment ; for , not being insane , the crisis of exquisite and unalloyed despair , which had originated the wish and design of self - destruction , was past in a second . "_[0-i] A wind fresh from [Europe]_75-europe blew over [the ocean]_{3139-the ocean} and rushed through the open casement : the storm broke , streamed , thundered , blazed , and the air grew pure . [I]_0-i then framed and fixed a resolution . While [I]_0-i walked under the dripping orange - trees of [[my]_0-i wet garden]_{3140-my wet garden} , and amongst its drenched pomegranates and pine - apples , and while the refulgent dawn of the tropics kindled round [me]_0-i - [I]_0-i reasoned thus , [Jane]_146-jane - and now listen ; for it was true Wisdom that consoled [me]_0-i in that hour , and showed [me]_0-i the right path to follow . " The sweet wind from [Europe]_75-europe was still whispering in the refreshed leaves , and [the Atlantic]_{97-the atlantic} was thundering in glorious liberty ; [my]_232-hope heart , dried up and scorched for a long time , swelled to the tone , and filled with living blood - [my]_232-hope being longed for renewal - [my]_232-hope soul thirsted for a pure draught . [I]_232-hope saw hope revive - and felt regeneration possible . From a flowery arch at the bottom of [[my]_232-hope garden]_{1231-my garden} [I]_232-hope gazed over the sea - bluer than the sky : [the old world]_{2605-the old world} was beyond ; clear prospects opened thus:- "_[232-hope] ' Go , ' said [Hope]_232-hope , ' and live again in [Europe]_75-europe : there it is not known what a sullied name [you]_3141-you bear , nor what a filthy burden is bound to [you]_3141-you . [You]_3141-you may take [the maniac]_{2984-the maniac} with [you]_3141-you to [England]_21-england ; confine [her]_{2984-the maniac} with due attendance and precautions at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : then travel [yourself]_3141-you to what clime [you]_3141-you will , and form what new tie [you]_3141-you like . [That woman]_{5442-that woman} , who has so abused [your]_3141-you long - suffering , so sullied [your]_3141-you name , so outraged [your]_3141-you honour , so blighted [your]_3141-you youth , is not [[your]_3141-you wife]_{6190-your wife} , nor are [you]_3141-you [[her]_{2984-the maniac} husband]_{620-her husband} . See that [she]_{2984-the maniac} is cared for as [her]_{2984-the maniac} condition demands , and [you]_3141-you have done all that [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} and humanity require of [you]_3141-you . Let [her]_{2984-the maniac} identity , [her]_{2984-the maniac} connection with [yourself]_3141-you , be buried in oblivion : [you]_3141-you are bound to impart them to [no living being]_{3146-no living being} . Place [her]_{2984-the maniac} in safety and comfort : shelter [her]_{2984-the maniac} degradation with secrecy , and leave [her]_{2984-the maniac} . ' " [I]_0-i acted precisely on this suggestion . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} and [brother]_6627-brother had not made [my]_0-i marriage known to [their]_6628-their acquaintance ; because , in the very first letter [I]_0-i wrote to apprise [them]_6628-their of the union - having already begun to experience extreme disgust of its consequences , and , from the family character and constitution , seeing a hideous future opening to [me]_0-i - [I]_0-i added an urgent charge to keep it secret : and very soon the infamous conduct of [the wife [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} had selected for [me]_0-i]_{6629-the wife my father had selected for me} was such as to make [him]_{682-my father} blush to own [her]_3147-her as [[his]_{682-my father} daughter - in - law]_{6631-his daughter - in - law} . Far from desiring to publish the connection , [he]_{682-my father} became as anxious to conceal it as [myself]_0-i . "_[0-i] To [England]_21-england , then , [I]_0-i conveyed [her]_3147-her ; a fearful voyage [I]_0-i had with such a monster in [the vessel]_{3148-the vessel} . Glad was [I]_0-i when [I]_0-i at last got [her]_3147-her to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , and saw [her]_3147-her safely lodged in [that third - storey room]_{3149-that third - storey room} , of whose secret inner cabinet [she]_3147-her has now for ten years made [a wild beast 's den]_{3150-a wild beast 's den} - [[a goblin]_{3151-a goblin} 's cell]_{3152-a goblin 's cell} . [I]_0-i had some trouble in finding [an attendant]_{3153-an attendant} for [her]_3147-her , as it was necessary to select one on whose fidelity dependence could be placed ; for [her]_3147-her ravings would inevitably betray [my]_0-i secret : besides , [she]_3147-her had lucid intervals of days - sometimes weeks - which [she]_3147-her filled up with abuse of [me]_0-i . At last [I]_0-i hired [Grace Poole]_{263-grace poole} from [the Grimbsy Retreat]_{390-the grimbsy retreat} . [She]_{263-grace poole} and [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} , [Carter]_270-carter who dressed [Mason]_{378-bertha mason} 's wounds that night [he]_{378-bertha mason} was stabbed and worried , are the only two [I]_0-i have ever admitted to [my]_0-i confidence . [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} may indeed have suspected something , but [she]_{263-grace poole} could have gained no precise knowledge as to facts . [Grace]_{263-grace poole} has , on the whole , proved [a good keeper]_{3155-a good keeper} ; though , owing partly to a fault of [her]_{263-grace poole} own , of which it appears nothing can cure [her]_{263-grace poole} , and which is incident to [her]_{263-grace poole} harassing profession , [her]_{263-grace poole} vigilance has been more than once lulled and baffled . [The lunatic]_{6552-the lunatic} is both cunning and malignant ; [she]_{6552-the lunatic} has never failed to take advantage of [[her]_{6552-the lunatic} guardian]_{1764-her guardian} 's temporary lapses ; once to secrete the knife with which [she]_{6552-the lunatic} stabbed [[her]_{6552-the lunatic} brother]_{6047-her brother} , and twice to possess [herself]_{6552-the lunatic} of the key of [[her]_{6552-the lunatic} cell]_{3159-her cell} , and issue therefrom in the night - time . On the first of these occasions , [she]_{6552-the lunatic} perpetrated the attempt to burn [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i bed ; on the second , [she]_{6552-the lunatic} paid that ghastly visit to [you]_3160-you . [I]_0-i thank [Providence]_{272-providence} , who watched over [you]_3160-you , that [she]_{6552-the lunatic} then spent [her]_{6552-the lunatic} fury on [your]_3160-you wedding apparel , which perhaps brought back vague reminiscences of [her]_{6552-the lunatic} own bridal days : but on what might have happened , [I]_0-i can not endure to reflect . When [I]_0-i think of the thing which flew at [my]_0-i throat this morning , hanging its black and scarlet visage over the nest of [my]_0-i dove , [my]_0-i blood curdles . " "_[4374-sir] And what , [sir]_4374-sir , " [I]_4374-sir asked , while [he]_4374-sir paused , "_[4374-sir] did [you]_4374-sir do when [you]_4374-sir had settled [her]_{6552-the lunatic} here ? Where did [you]_4374-sir go ? " "_[4374-sir] What did [I]_0-i do , [Jane]_146-jane ? [I]_0-i transformed [myself]_0-i into a will - o'-the - wisp . Where did [I]_0-i go ? [I]_0-i pursued wanderings as wild as those of [the March - spirit]_{3162-the march - spirit} . [I]_0-i sought [the Continent]_{52-the continent} , and went devious through [all [its]_{52-the continent} lands]_{3163-all its lands} . [My]_0-i fixed desire was to seek and find [a good and intelligent woman]_{3164-a good and intelligent woman} , whom [I]_0-i could love : a contrast to the fury [I]_0-i left at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} - " "_[0-i] But [you]_4374-sir could not marry , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had determined and was convinced that [I]_0-i could and ought . It was not [my]_0-i original intention to deceive , as [I]_0-i have deceived [you]_4374-sir . [I]_0-i meant to tell [my]_0-i tale plainly , and make [my]_0-i proposals openly : and it appeared to [me]_0-i so absolutely rational that [I]_0-i should be considered free to love and be loved , [I]_0-i never doubted [some woman]_{3166-some woman} might be found willing and able to understand [my]_0-i case and accept [me]_0-i , in spite of the curse with which [I]_0-i was burdened . " "_[4374-sir] Well , [sir]_4374-sir ? " "_[4374-sir] When [you]_4374-sir are inquisitive , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_4374-sir always make [me]_0-i smile . [You]_4374-sir open [your]_4374-sir eyes like an eager bird , and make [every now]_{3168-every now} and then a restless movement , as if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for [you]_4374-sir , and [you]_4374-sir wanted to read the tablet of [one]_4415-one 's heart . But before [I]_0-i go on , tell [me]_0-i what [you]_4374-sir mean by [your]_4374-sir ' Well , [sir]_4374-sir ? ' It is a small phrase very frequent with [you]_4374-sir ; and which many a time has drawn [me]_0-i on and on through interminable talk : [I]_0-i do n't very well know why . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean , - What next ? How did [you]_4374-sir proceed ? What came of such an event ? " "_[4374-sir] Precisely ! and what do [you]_4374-sir wish to know now ? " "_[4374-sir] Whether [you]_4374-sir found any one [you]_4374-sir liked : whether [you]_4374-sir asked [her]_3171-her to marry [you]_4374-sir ; and what [she]_3171-her said . " "_[3171-her] [I]_0-i can tell [you]_4374-sir whether [I]_0-i found any one [I]_0-i liked , and whether [I]_0-i asked [her]_3171-her to marry [me]_0-i : but what [she]_3171-her said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate . For ten long years [I]_0-i roved about , living first in [one capital]_{3172-one capital} , then another : sometimes in [St. Petersburg]_{98-st. petersburg} ; oftener in [Paris]_62-paris ; occasionally in [Rome]_17-rome , [Naples]_84-naples , and [Florence]_85-florence . Provided with plenty of money and the passport of an old name , [I]_0-i could choose [[my]_0-i own society]_{3173-my own society} : no circles were closed against [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i sought [my]_0-i ideal of [a woman]_{4399-a woman} amongst [English ladies]_{3175-english ladies} , [French countesses]_{3176-french countesses} , [Italian signoras]_{3177-italian signoras} , and [German grafinnen]_{3178-german grafinnen} . [I]_0-i could not find [her]_{4399-a woman} . Sometimes , for a fleeting moment , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i caught a glance , heard a tone , beheld a form , which announced the realisation of [my]_0-i dream : but [I]_0-i was presently undeserved . [You]_3179-you are not to suppose that [I]_0-i desired perfection , either of mind or [person]_2083-person . [I]_0-i longed only for what suited [me]_0-i - for the antipodes of [the Creole]_{2959-the creole} : and [I]_0-i longed vainly . Amongst [them]_3182-them all [I]_0-i found [not one whom]_{3183-not one whom} , had [I]_0-i been ever so free , [I]_0-i - warned as [I]_0-i was of the risks , the horrors , the loathings of incongruous unions - would have asked to marry [me]_0-i . Disappointment made [me]_0-i reckless . [I]_0-i tried dissipation - never debauchery : that [I]_0-i hated , and hate . That was [my]_0-i Indian [Messalina]_{391-messalina} 's attribute : rooted disgust at it and [her]_{391-messalina} restrained [me]_0-i much , even in pleasure . Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to approach [me]_0-i to [her]_{391-messalina} and [her]_{391-messalina} vices , and [I]_0-i eschewed it . " Yet [I]_0-i could not live alone ; so [I]_0-i tried the companionship of [mistresses]_{6632-mistresses} . The first [I]_0-i chose was [Celine Varens]_281-celine - another of those steps which make [a man]_{4429-a man} spurn [himself]_{4429-a man} when [he]_{4429-a man} recalls them . [You]_6634-you already know what [she]_281-celine was , and how [my]_0-i liaison with [her]_281-celine terminated . [She]_281-celine had [two successors]_{6635-two successors} : [an Italian]_{6636-an italian} , [Giacinta]_392-giacinta , and [a German]_{6637-a german} , [Clara]_393-clara ; [both considered singularly handsome]_{6638-both considered singularly handsome} . What was [their]_{6635-two successors} beauty to [me]_0-i in a few weeks ? [Giacinta]_392-giacinta was unprincipled and violent : [I]_0-i tired of [her]_392-giacinta in three months . [Clara]_393-clara was honest and quiet ; but heavy , mindless , and unimpressible : not one whit to [my]_0-i taste . [I]_0-i was glad to give [her]_393-clara a sufficient sum to set [her]_393-clara up in a good line of business , and so get decently rid of [her]_393-clara . But , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i see by [your]_146-jane face [you]_146-jane are not forming a very favourable opinion of [me]_0-i just now . [You]_146-jane think [me]_0-i [an unfeeling , loose - principled rake]_{6639-an unfeeling , loose - principled rake} : do n't [you]_146-jane ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i do n't like [you]_146-jane so well as [I]_0-i have done sometimes , indeed , [sir]_4374-sir . Did it not seem to [you]_146-jane in the least wrong to live in that way , first with [one mistress]_{6641-one mistress} and then another ? [You]_146-jane talk of it as a mere matter of course . "_[0-i] " It was with [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i did not like it . It was a grovelling fashion of existence : [I]_0-i should never like to return to it . Hiring [a mistress]_{6642-a mistress} is the next worse thing to buying [a slave]_{1106-a slave} : both are often by nature , and always by position , inferior : and to live familiarly with [inferiors]_{6644-inferiors} is degrading . [I]_0-i now hate the recollection of the time [I]_0-i passed with [Celine]_281-celine , [Giacinta]_392-giacinta , and [Clara]_393-clara . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i felt the truth of these words ; and [I]_0-i drew from them the certain inference , that if [I]_0-i were so far to forget [myself]_0-i and all the teaching that had ever been instilled into [me]_0-i , as - under any pretext - with any justification - through any temptation - to become [the successor of [these poor girls]_{3185-these poor girls}]_{3184-the successor of these poor girls} , [he]_3186-he would one day regard [me]_0-i with the same feeling which now in [his]_3186-he mind desecrated [their]_{3185-these poor girls} memory . [I]_0-i did not give utterance to this conviction : it was enough to feel it . [I]_0-i impressed it on [my]_0-i heart , that it might remain there to serve [me]_0-i as aid in the time of trial . " Now , [Jane]_146-jane , why do n't [you]_146-jane say ' Well , [sir]_4374-sir ? ' [I]_0-i have not done . [You]_146-jane are looking grave . [You]_146-jane disapprove of [me]_0-i still , [I]_0-i see . But let [me]_0-i come to the point . Last January , rid of [all mistresses]_{6646-all mistresses} - in a harsh , bitter frame of mind , the result of a useless , roving , lonely life - corroded with disappointment , sourly disposed against [all men]_{6647-all men} , and especially against [all womankind]_{6648-all womankind} for [I]_0-i began to regard the notion of [an intellectual , faithful , loving woman]_{6649-an intellectual , faithful , loving woman} as a mere dream , recalled by business , [I]_0-i came back to [England]_21-england . "_[0-i] On a frosty winter afternoon , [I]_0-i rode in sight of [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} . Abhorred spot ! [I]_0-i expected no peace - no pleasure there . On a stile in [Hay Lane]_{5167-hay lane} [I]_0-i saw a quiet little figure sitting by [itself]_3188-it . [I]_0-i passed [it]_3188-it as negligently as [I]_0-i did the pollard willow opposite to [it]_3188-it : [I]_0-i had no presentiment of what it would be to [me]_0-i ; no inward warning that the arbitress of [my]_0-i life - [my]_0-i genius for good or evil - waited there in humble guise . [I]_0-i did not know it , even when , on the occasion of [Mesrour]_69-mesrour 's accident , it came up and gravely offered [me]_0-i help . Childish and slender creature ! [It]_3189-it seemed as if a linnet had hopped to [my]_0-i foot and proposed to bear [me]_0-i on its tiny wing . [I]_0-i was surly ; but the thing would not go : it stood by [me]_0-i with strange perseverance , and looked and spoke with a sort of authority . [I]_0-i must be aided , and by that hand : and aided [I]_0-i was . " When once [I]_0-i had pressed the frail shoulder , something new - a fresh sap and sense - stole into [my]_0-i frame . It was well [I]_0-i had learnt that [this elf]_{6650-this elf} must return to [me]_0-i - that it belonged to [[my]_0-i house down below]_{6651-my house down below} - or [I]_0-i could not have felt it pass away from under [my]_0-i hand , and seen it vanish behind the dim hedge , without singular regret . [I]_0-i heard [you]_0-i come [home]_509-home that night , [Jane]_146-jane , though probably [you]_0-i were not aware that [I]_0-i thought of [you]_0-i or watched for [you]_0-i . The next day [I]_0-i observed [you]_0-i - [myself]_0-i unseen - for half - an - hour , while [you]_0-i played with [Adele]_259-adele in [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . It was a snowy day , [I]_0-i recollect , and [you]_0-i could not go out of doors . [I]_0-i was in [[my]_0-i room]_{4787-my room} ; the door was ajar : [I]_0-i could both listen and watch . [Adele]_259-adele claimed [your]_0-i outward attention for a while ; yet [I]_0-i fancied [your]_0-i thoughts were elsewhere : but [you]_0-i were very patient with [her]_259-adele , [[my]_0-i little [Jane]_146-jane]_{6655-my little jane} ; [you]_0-i talked to [her]_259-adele and amused [her]_259-adele a long time . When at last [she]_259-adele left [you]_0-i , [you]_0-i lapsed at once into deep reverie : [you]_0-i betook [yourself]_0-i slowly to pace [the gallery]_{1740-the gallery} . Now and then , in passing a casement , [you]_0-i glanced out at the thick - falling snow ; [you]_0-i listened to the sobbing wind , and again [you]_0-i paced gently on and dreamed . [I]_0-i think those day visions were not dark : there was a pleasurable illumination in [your]_0-i eye occasionally , a soft excitement in [your]_0-i aspect , which told of no bitter , bilious , hypochondriac brooding : [your]_0-i look revealed rather the sweet musings of youth when its spirit follows on willing wings the flight of Hope up and on to an ideal heaven . The voice of [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , speaking to [a servant]_{4337-a servant} in [the hall]_{608-the hall} , wakened [you]_0-i : and how curiously [you]_0-i smiled to and at [yourself]_0-i , [Janet]_265-janet ! There was much sense in [your]_0-i smile : it was very shrewd , and seemed to make light of [your]_0-i own abstraction . It seemed to say - ' [My]_0-i fine visions are all very well , but [I]_0-i must not forget they are absolutely unreal . [I]_0-i have a rosy sky and a green flowery Eden in [my]_0-i brain ; but without , [I]_0-i am perfectly aware , lies at [my]_0-i feet a rough tract to travel , and around [me]_0-i gather black tempests to encounter . ' [You]_3190-you ran [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} and demanded of [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} some occupation : [the weekly house]_{6660-the weekly house} accounts to make up , or something of that sort , [I]_0-i think it was . [I]_0-i was vexed with [you]_3190-you for getting out of [my]_0-i sight . "_[0-i] Impatiently [I]_0-i waited for evening , when [I]_0-i might summon [you]_3190-you to [my]_0-i presence . An unusual - to [me]_0-i - a perfectly new character [I]_0-i suspected was [yours]_3190-you : [I]_0-i desired to search it deeper and know it better . [You]_3190-you entered [the room]_{535-the room} with a look and air at once shy and independent : [you]_3190-you were quaintly dressed - much as [you]_3190-you are now . [I]_0-i made [you]_3190-you talk : ere long [I]_0-i found [you]_3190-you full of strange contrasts . [Your]_3190-you garb and manner were restricted by rule ; [your]_3190-you air was often diffident , and altogether that of one refined by nature , but absolutely unused to society , and a good deal afraid of making [herself]_3192-herself disadvantageously conspicuous by some solecism or blunder ; yet when addressed , [you]_3190-you lifted a keen , a daring , and a glowing eye to [[your]_3190-you interlocutor]_{3193-your interlocutor} 's face : there was penetration and power in each glance [you]_3190-you gave ; when plied by close questions , [you]_3190-you found ready and round answers . Very soon [you]_3190-you seemed to get used to [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i believe [you]_3190-you felt the existence of sympathy between [you]_3190-you and [[your]_3190-you grim and cross master]_{3194-your grim and cross master} , [Jane]_146-jane ; for it was astonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised [your]_3190-you manner : snarl as [I]_0-i would , [you]_3190-you showed no surprise , fear , annoyance , or displeasure at [my]_0-i moroseness ; [you]_3190-you watched [me]_0-i , and now and then smiled at [me]_0-i with a simple yet sagacious grace [I]_0-i can not describe . [I]_0-i was at once content and stimulated with what [I]_0-i saw : [I]_0-i liked what [I]_0-i had seen , and wished to see more . Yet , for a long time , [I]_0-i treated [you]_3190-you distantly , and sought [your]_3190-you company rarely . [I]_0-i was [an intellectual epicure]_{3195-an intellectual epicure} , and wished to prolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant acquaintance : besides , [I]_0-i was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if [I]_0-i handled the flower freely its bloom would fade - the sweet charm of freshness would leave it . [I]_0-i did not then know that it was no transitory blossom , but rather the radiant resemblance of one , cut in an indestructible gem . Moreover , [I]_0-i wished to see whether [you]_3190-you would seek [me]_0-i if [I]_0-i shunned [you]_3190-you - but [you]_3190-you did not ; [you]_3190-you kept in [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} as still as [your]_3190-you own desk and easel ; if by chance [I]_0-i met [you]_3190-you , [you]_3190-you passed [me]_0-i as soon , and with as little token of recognition , as was consistent with respect . [Your]_3190-you habitual expression in those days , [Jane]_146-jane , was a thoughtful look ; not despondent , for [you]_3190-you were not sickly ; but not buoyant , for [you]_3190-you had little hope , and no actual pleasure . [I]_0-i wondered what [you]_3190-you thought of [me]_0-i , or if [you]_3190-you ever thought of [me]_0-i , and resolved to find this out . " [I]_3190-you resumed [my]_3190-you notice of [you]_3190-you . There was something glad in [your]_3190-you glance , and genial in [your]_3190-you manner , when [you]_3190-you conversed : [I]_3190-you saw [you]_3190-you had a social heart ; it was [the silent schoolroom]_{6661-the silent schoolroom} - it was the tedium of [your]_3190-you life - that made [you]_3190-you mournful . [I]_3190-you permitted [myself]_3190-you the delight of being kind to [you]_3190-you ; kindness stirred emotion soon : [your]_3190-you face became soft in expression , [your]_3190-you tones gentle ; [I]_3190-you liked [my]_3190-you name pronounced by [your]_3190-you lips in a grateful happy accent . [I]_3190-you used to enjoy a chance meeting with [you]_3190-you , [Jane]_146-jane , at this time : there was a curious hesitation in [your]_3190-you manner : [you]_3190-you glanced at [me]_3190-you with a slight trouble - a hovering doubt : [you]_3190-you did not know what [my]_3190-you caprice might be - whether [I]_3190-you was going to play [the master]_{540-the master} and be stern , or [the friend and be benignant]_{6663-the friend and be benignant} . [I]_3190-you was now too fond of [you]_3190-you often to simulate the first whim ; and , when [I]_3190-you stretched [my]_3190-you hand out cordially , such bloom and light and bliss rose to [your]_3190-you young , wistful features , [I]_3190-you had much ado often to avoid straining [you]_3190-you then and there to [my]_3190-you heart . "_[3190-you] " Do n't talk any more of those days , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i interrupted , furtively dashing away some tears from [my]_0-i eyes ; [his]_3197-my language was torture to [me]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i knew what [I]_0-i must do - and do soon - and all these reminiscences , and these revelations of [his]_3197-my feelings only made [my]_0-i work more difficult . " No , [Jane]_146-jane , "_[3197-my] [he]_3197-my returned : " what necessity is there to dwell on the Past , when the Present is so much surer - the Future so much brighter ? "_[3197-my] [I]_0-i shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion . " [You]_146-jane see now how the case stands - do [you]_146-jane not ? "_[3197-my] [he]_3197-my continued . " After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude , [I]_3197-my have for the first time found what [I]_3197-my can truly love - [I]_3197-my have found [you]_3190-you . [You]_3190-you are [my]_3197-my sympathy - [[my]_3197-my better self]_{6665-my better self} - [[my]_3197-my good angel]_{6666-my good angel} . [I]_3197-my am bound to [you]_3190-you with a strong attachment . [I]_3197-my think [you]_3190-you good , gifted , lovely : a fervent , a solemn passion is conceived in [my]_3197-my heart ; it leans to [you]_3190-you , draws [you]_3190-you to [my]_3197-my centre and spring of life , wraps [my]_3197-my existence about [you]_3190-you , and , kindling in pure , powerful flame , fuses [you]_3190-you and [me]_3197-my in one . "_[3197-my] It was because [I]_0-i felt and knew this , that [I]_0-i resolved to marry [you]_3198-you . To tell [me]_0-i that [I]_0-i had already [a wife]_{5665-a wife} is empty mockery : [you]_3198-you know now that [I]_0-i had but [a hideous demon]_{3200-a hideous demon} . [I]_0-i was wrong to attempt to deceive [you]_3198-you ; but [I]_0-i feared a stubbornness that exists in [your]_3198-you character . [I]_0-i feared early instilled prejudice : [I]_0-i wanted to have [you]_3198-you safe before hazarding confidences . This was cowardly : [I]_0-i should have appealed to [your]_3198-you nobleness and magnanimity at first , as [I]_0-i do now - opened to [you]_3198-you plainly [my]_0-i life of agony - described to [you]_3198-you [my]_0-i hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier existence - shown to [you]_3198-you , not [my]_0-i RESOLUTION that word is weak , but [my]_0-i resistless BENT to love faithfully and well , where [I]_0-i am faithfully and well loved in return . Then [I]_0-i should have asked [you]_3198-you to accept [my]_0-i pledge of fidelity and to give [me]_0-i [yours]_3198-you . [Jane]_146-jane - give it [me]_0-i now . " A pause . "_[146-jane] Why are [you]_146-jane silent , [Jane]_146-jane ? " [I]_146-jane was experiencing an ordeal : a hand of fiery iron grasped [my]_146-jane vitals . Terrible moment : full of struggle , blackness , burning ! [Not a human being that ever lived]_{6667-not a human being that ever lived} could wish to be loved better than [I]_146-jane was loved ; and [him]_0-i who thus loved [me]_146-jane [I]_146-jane absolutely worshipped : and [I]_146-jane must renounce love and idol . One drear word comprised [my]_146-jane intolerable duty - "_[146-jane] Depart ! " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane understand what [I]_0-i want of [you]_146-jane ? Just this promise - ' [I]_0-i will be [yours]_3198-you , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . ' " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i will NOT be [yours]_3198-you . " Another long silence . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! " recommenced [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , with a gentleness that broke [me]_146-jane down with grief , and turned [me]_146-jane stone - cold with ominous terror - for this still voice was the pant of a lion rising - "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , do [you]_146-jane mean to go one way in [the world]_{484-the world} , and to let [me]_0-i go another ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane " bending towards and embracing [me]_146-jane , "_[146-jane] do [you]_146-jane mean it now ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do . " "_[0-i] And now ? " softly kissing [my]_0-i forehead and cheek . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do , " extricating [myself]_0-i from restraint rapidly and completely . "_[0-i] Oh , [Jane]_146-jane , this is bitter ! This - this is wicked . It would not be wicked to love [me]_0-i . " "_[146-jane] It would to obey [you]_146-jane . " A wild look raised [his]_{251-mr. rochester} brows - crossed [his]_{251-mr. rochester} features : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} rose ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} forebore yet . [I]_146-jane laid [my]_146-jane hand on the back of a chair for support : [I]_146-jane shook , [I]_146-jane feared - but [I]_146-jane resolved . "_[146-jane] One instant , [Jane]_146-jane . Give one glance to [my]_0-i horrible life when [you]_146-jane are gone . All happiness will be torn away with [you]_146-jane . What then is left ? For [a wife]_{5665-a wife} [I]_0-i have but [the maniac upstairs]_{3203-the maniac upstairs} : as well might [you]_146-jane refer [me]_0-i to some corpse in [yonder churchyard]_{3204-yonder churchyard} . What shall [I]_0-i do , [Jane]_146-jane ? Where turn for [a companion]_{1021-a companion} and for some hope ? " "_[0-i] Do as [I]_0-i do : trust in [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} and [yourself]_146-jane . Believe in [heaven]_4369-heaven . Hope to meet again [there]_4426-there . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_0-i will not yield ? " "_[0-i] No . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_0-i condemn [me]_0-i to live wretched and to die accursed ? " [His]_0-i voice rose . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i advise [you]_146-jane to live sinless , and [I]_0-i wish [you]_146-jane to die tranquil . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_0-i snatch love and innocence from [me]_0-i ? [You]_0-i fling [me]_0-i back on lust for a passion - vice for an occupation ? " "_[0-i] [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i no more assign this fate to [you]_{251-mr. rochester} than [I]_0-i grasp at it for [myself]_0-i . [We]_3208-we were born to strive and endure - [you]_{251-mr. rochester} as well as [I]_0-i : do so . [You]_{251-mr. rochester} will forget [me]_0-i before [I]_0-i forget [you]_{251-mr. rochester} . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [You]_{251-mr. rochester} make [me]_0-i [a liar]_{4746-a liar} by such language : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} sully [my]_0-i honour . [I]_0-i declared [I]_0-i could not change : [you]_{251-mr. rochester} tell [me]_0-i to [my]_0-i face [I]_0-i shall change soon . And what a distortion in [your]_{251-mr. rochester} judgment , what a perversity in [your]_{251-mr. rochester} ideas , is proved by [your]_{251-mr. rochester} conduct ! Is it better to drive a fellow - creature to despair than to transgress a mere human law , [no man being injured by the breach]_{3210-no man being injured by the breach} ? for [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have [neither [relatives]_{5211-relatives} nor acquaintances whom [you]_{251-mr. rochester} need fear to offend by living with [me]_0-i]_{3211-neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend by living with me} ? " This was true : and while [he]_3213-him spoke [my]_3213-him very conscience and reason turned [traitors]_{6668-traitors} against [me]_3213-him , and charged [me]_3213-him with crime in resisting [him]_3213-him . [They]_6669-they spoke almost as loud as Feeling : and that clamoured wildly . "_[3213-him] Oh , comply ! " it said . "_[3213-him] Think of [his]_3213-him misery ; think of [his]_3213-him danger - look at [his]_3213-him state when left alone ; remember [his]_3213-him headlong nature ; consider the recklessness following on despair - soothe [him]_3213-him ; save [him]_3213-him ; love [him]_3213-him ; tell [him]_3213-him [you]_{251-mr. rochester} love [him]_3213-him and will be [his]_3213-him . Who in [the world]_{484-the world} cares for [YOU]_{251-mr. rochester} ? or who will be injured by what [you]_{251-mr. rochester} do ? " Still indomitable was the reply - "_[0-i] [I]_0-i care for [myself]_0-i . [The more solitary]_{3215-the more solitary} , the more friendless , the more unsustained [I]_0-i am , the more [I]_0-i will respect [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i will keep the law given by [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; sanctioned by [man]_4667-man . [I]_0-i will hold to the principles received by [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i was sane , and not mad - as [I]_0-i am now . Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation : they are for such moments as this , when body and soul rise in mutiny against [their]_3217-they rigour ; stringent are [they]_3217-they ; inviolate [they]_3217-they shall be . If at [my]_0-i individual convenience [I]_0-i might break [them]_3217-they , what would be [their]_3217-they worth ? [They]_3217-they have a worth - so [I]_0-i have always believed ; and if [I]_0-i can not believe it now , it is because [I]_0-i am insane - quite insane : with [my]_0-i veins running fire , and [my]_0-i heart beating faster than [I]_0-i can count its throbs . Preconceived opinions , foregone determinations , are all [I]_0-i have at this hour to stand by : there [I]_0-i plant [my]_0-i foot . " [I]_0-i did . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , reading [my]_0-i countenance , saw [I]_0-i had done so . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} fury was wrought to the highest : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} must yield to it for a moment , whatever followed ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} crossed the floor and seized [my]_0-i arm and grasped [my]_0-i waist . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} seemed to devour [me]_0-i with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} flaming glance : physically , [I]_0-i felt , at the moment , powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow of a furnace : mentally , [I]_0-i still possessed [my]_0-i soul , and with it the certainty of ultimate safety . [The soul]_{6670-the soul} , fortunately , has [an interpreter]_{6671-an interpreter} - often an unconscious , but still [a truthful interpreter]_{6672-a truthful interpreter} - in the eye . [My]_0-i eye rose to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and while [I]_0-i looked in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} fierce face [I]_0-i gave an involuntary sigh ; [his]_{251-mr. rochester} gripe was painful , and [my]_0-i over - taxed strength almost exhausted . "_[0-i] Never , " said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} , as [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ground [his]_{251-mr. rochester} teeth , "_[0-i] never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable . A mere reed [she]_3218-her feels in [my]_0-i hand ! " And [he]_{251-mr. rochester} shook [me]_0-i with the force of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} hold . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could bend [her]_3218-her with [my]_0-i finger and thumb : and what good would it do if [I]_0-i bent , if [I]_0-i uptore , if [I]_0-i crushed [her]_3218-her ? Consider that eye : consider the resolute , wild , free thing looking out of it , defying [me]_0-i , with more than courage - with a stern triumph . Whatever [I]_0-i do with its cage , [I]_0-i can not get at it - [the savage , beautiful creature]_{3219-the savage , beautiful creature} ! If [I]_0-i tear , if [I]_0-i rend the slight prison , [my]_0-i outrage will only let [the captive]_{3220-the captive} loose . Conqueror [I]_0-i might be of [the house]_{4322-the house} ; but [the inmate]_{3222-the inmate} would escape to [heaven]_4369-heaven before [I]_0-i could call [myself]_0-i possessor of [[its]_{4322-the house} clay dwelling - place]_{3224-its clay dwelling - place} . And it is [you]_3225-you , spirit - with will and energy , and virtue and purity - that [I]_0-i want : not alone [your]_3225-you brittle frame . Of [yourself]_3225-you [you]_3225-you could come with soft flight and nestle against [my]_0-i heart , if [you]_3225-you would : seized against [your]_3225-you will , [you]_3225-you will elude the grasp like an essence - [you]_3225-you will vanish ere [I]_0-i inhale [your]_3225-you fragrance . Oh ! come , [Jane]_146-jane , come ! " As [he]_0-i said this , [he]_0-i released [me]_146-jane from [his]_0-i clutch , and only looked at [me]_146-jane . The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain : only [an idiot]_{6673-an idiot} , however , would have succumbed now . [I]_146-jane had dared and baffled [his]_0-i fury ; [I]_146-jane must elude [his]_0-i sorrow : [I]_146-jane retired to the door . "_[146-jane] [You]_0-i are going , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i am going , [sir]_4374-sir . " "_[146-jane] [You]_0-i are leaving [me]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] Yes . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i will not come ? [You]_0-i will not be [[my]_0-i comforter]_{3227-my comforter} , [[my]_0-i rescuer]_{3228-my rescuer} ? [My]_0-i deep love , [my]_0-i wild woe , [my]_0-i frantic prayer , are all nothing to [you]_0-i ? " What unutterable pathos was in [his]_0-i voice ! How hard it was to reiterate firmly , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am going . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ! " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Withdraw , then , - [I]_0-i consent ; but remember , [you]_0-i leave [me]_0-i [here]_4312-here in anguish . Go up to [[your]_146-jane own room]_{5417-your own room} ; think over all [I]_0-i have said , and , [Jane]_146-jane , cast a glance on [my]_0-i sufferings - think of [me]_0-i . " [He]_0-i turned away ; [he]_0-i threw [himself]_0-i on [his]_0-i face on the sofa . "_[146-jane] Oh , [Jane]_146-jane ! [my]_0-i hope - [my]_0-i love - [my]_0-i life ! " broke in anguish from [his]_0-i lips . Then came a deep , strong sob . [I]_146-jane had already gained the door ; but , [reader]_496-reader , [I]_146-jane walked back - walked back as determinedly as [I]_146-jane had retreated . [I]_146-jane knelt down by [him]_0-i ; [I]_146-jane turned [his]_0-i face from the cushion to [me]_146-jane ; [I]_146-jane kissed [his]_0-i cheek ; [I]_146-jane smoothed [his]_0-i hair with [my]_146-jane hand . "_[146-jane] God bless [you]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear master]_{6247-my dear master} ! " [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} said . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} keep [you]_0-i from harm and wrong - direct [you]_0-i , solace [you]_0-i - reward [you]_0-i well for [your]_0-i past kindness to [me]_0-i . " "_{[395-little jane]} [Little Jane]_{395-little jane} 's love would have been [my]_0-i best reward , " [he]_0-i answered ; "_{[395-little jane]} without it , [my]_0-i heart is broken . But [Jane]_{395-little jane} will give [me]_0-i [her]_{395-little jane} love : yes - nobly , generously . " Up the blood rushed to [his]_0-i face ; forth flashed the fire from [his]_0-i eyes ; erect [he]_0-i sprang ; [he]_0-i held [his]_0-i arms out ; but [I]_{395-little jane} evaded the embrace , and at once quitted [the room]_{535-the room} . "_{[395-little jane]} Farewell ! " was the cry of [my]_{395-little jane} heart as [I]_{395-little jane} left [him]_0-i . [Despair]_396-despair added , "_{[395-little jane]} Farewell for ever ! " That night [I]_{5378-my daughter} never thought to sleep ; but a slumber fell on [me]_{5378-my daughter} as soon as [I]_{5378-my daughter} lay down in bed . [I]_{5378-my daughter} was transported in thought to the scenes of childhood : [I]_{5378-my daughter} dreamt [I]_{5378-my daughter} lay in [the red - room at [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{6676-the red - room at gateshead} ; that the night was dark , and [my]_{5378-my daughter} mind impressed with strange fears . The light that long ago had struck [me]_{5378-my daughter} into syncope , recalled in this vision , seemed glidingly to mount the wall , and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured ceiling . [I]_{5378-my daughter} lifted up [my]_{5378-my daughter} head to look : the roof resolved to clouds , high and dim ; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours [she]_{5378-my daughter} is about to sever . [I]_{5378-my daughter} watched [her]_{5378-my daughter} come - watched with the strangest anticipation ; as though some word of doom were to be written on [her]_{5378-my daughter} disk . [She]_{5378-my daughter} broke forth as never moon yet burst from cloud : a hand first penetrated the sable folds and waved them away ; then , not a moon , but a white human form shone in the azure , inclining a glorious brow earthward . [It]_{5378-my daughter} gazed and gazed on [me]_{5378-my daughter} . It spoke to [my]_{5378-my daughter} spirit : immeasurably distant was the tone , yet so near , it whispered in [my]_{5378-my daughter} heart - "_{[5378-my daughter]} [[My]_0-i daughter]_{5378-my daughter} , flee temptation . " "_{[4387-mother]} [Mother]_4387-mother , [I]_0-i will . " So [I]_0-i answered after [I]_0-i had waked from the trance - like dream . It was yet night , but July nights are short : soon after midnight , dawn comes . "_[0-i] It can not be too early to commence the task [I]_0-i have to fulfil , " thought I. [I]_0-i rose : [I]_0-i was dressed ; for [I]_0-i had taken off nothing but [my]_0-i shoes . [I]_0-i knew where to find in [my]_0-i drawers some linen , a locket , a ring . In seeking these articles , [I]_0-i encountered the beads of a pearl necklace [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had forced [me]_0-i to accept a few days ago . [I]_0-i left that ; it was not [mine]_{5378-my daughter} : it was [the visionary bride]_{6677-the visionary bride} 's who had melted in air . The other articles [I]_0-i made up in a parcel ; [my]_0-i purse , containing twenty shillings it was all [I]_0-i had , [I]_0-i put in [my]_0-i pocket : [I]_0-i tied on [my]_0-i straw bonnet , pinned [my]_0-i shawl , took the parcel and [my]_0-i slippers , which [I]_0-i would not put on yet , and stole from [[my]_0-i room]_{4787-my room} . "_[0-i] Farewell , [kind Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! " [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} whispered , as [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} glided past [her]_259-adele door . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} Farewell , [[my]_0-i darling]_{6201-my darling} [Adele]_259-adele ! " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} said , as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} glanced towards [the nursery]_{571-the nursery} . No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace [her]_259-adele . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had to deceive a fine ear : for aught [I]_{251-mr. rochester} knew it might now be listening . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would have got past [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's chamber]_{1830-mr. rochester 's chamber} without a pause ; but [my]_{251-mr. rochester} heart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold , [my]_{251-mr. rochester} foot was forced to stop also . No sleep was there : [the inmate]_{3222-the inmate} was walking restlessly from wall to wall ; and again and again [he]_{3222-the inmate} sighed while [I]_{251-mr. rochester} listened . There was a heaven - a temporary heaven - in [this room]_{570-this room} for [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , if [I]_{251-mr. rochester} chose : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had but to go in and to say - "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i will love [you]_{251-mr. rochester} and live with [you]_{251-mr. rochester} through life till death , " and a fount of rapture would spring to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} lips . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought of this . [That kind master , who could not sleep now]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} , was waiting with impatience for day . [He]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} would send for [me]_{251-mr. rochester} in the morning ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should be gone . [He]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} would have [me]_{251-mr. rochester} sought for : vainly . [He]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} would feel [himself]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} forsaken ; [his]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} love rejected : [he]_{6683-that kind master , who could not sleep now} would suffer ; perhaps grow desperate . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought of this too . [My]_{251-mr. rochester} hand moved towards the lock : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} caught it back , and glided on . Drearily [I]_{251-mr. rochester} wound [my]_{251-mr. rochester} way [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} knew what [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had to do , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} did it mechanically . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sought the key of the side - door in [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sought , too , a phial of oil and a feather ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} oiled the key and the lock . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} got some water , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} got some bread : for perhaps [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should have to walk far ; and [my]_{251-mr. rochester} strength , sorely shaken of late , must not break down . All this [I]_{251-mr. rochester} did without one sound . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} opened the door , passed out , shut it softly . Dim dawn glimmered in [the yard]_{2370-the yard} . The great gates were closed and locked ; but a wicket in one of them was only latched . Through that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} departed : [it]_6687-it , too , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} shut ; and now [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was out of [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . A mile off , beyond [the fields]_{6688-the fields} , lay [a road which stretched in the contrary direction to [Millcote]_44-millcote]_{6689-a road which stretched in the contrary direction to millcote} ; [a road [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had never travelled , but often noticed , and wondered where it led]_{6690-a road i had never travelled , but often noticed , and wondered where it led} : thither [I]_{251-mr. rochester} bent [my]_{251-mr. rochester} steps . No reflection was to be allowed now : not one glance was to be cast back ; not even one forward . Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future . The first was a page so heavenly sweet - so deadly sad - that to read one line of it would dissolve [my]_{251-mr. rochester} courage and break down [my]_{251-mr. rochester} energy . The last was an awful blank : something like the world when the deluge was gone by . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} skirted [fields]_6691-fields , and hedges , and lanes till after sunrise . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} believe it was a lovely summer morning : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} know [my]_{251-mr. rochester} shoes , which [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had put on when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} left [the house]_{4322-the house} , were soon wet with dew . But [I]_{251-mr. rochester} looked neither to rising sun , nor smiling sky , nor wakening nature . [He]_6693-his who is taken out to pass through a fair scene to the scaffold , thinks not of the flowers that smile on [[his]_6693-his road]_{6694-his road} , but of the block and axe - edge ; of the disseverment of bone and vein ; of the grave gaping at the end : and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought of drear flight and homeless wandering - and oh ! with agony [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought of what [I]_{251-mr. rochester} left . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could not help it . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought of [him]_6693-his now - in [[his]_6693-his room]_{1844-his room} - watching the sunrise ; hoping [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should soon come to say [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would stay with [him]_6693-his and be [his]_6693-his . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} longed to be [his]_6693-his ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} panted to return : it was not too late ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could yet spare [him]_6693-his the bitter pang of bereavement . As yet [my]_{251-mr. rochester} flight , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was sure , was undiscovered . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could go back and be [his]_6693-his comforter - [his]_6693-his pride ; [his]_6693-his redeemer from misery , perhaps from ruin . Oh , that fear of [his]_6693-his self - abandonment - far worse than [my]_{251-mr. rochester} abandonment - how it goaded [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ! It was a barbed arrow - head in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} breast ; it tore [me]_{251-mr. rochester} when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} tried to extract it ; it sickened [me]_{251-mr. rochester} when remembrance thrust it farther in . [Birds]_{4-british birds} began singing in brake and copse : [birds]_6696-birds were faithful to [[their]_6696-birds mates]_{6697-their mates} ; birds were emblems of love . What was [I]_{251-mr. rochester} ? In the midst of [my]_{251-mr. rochester} pain of heart and frantic effort of principle , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} abhorred [myself]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had no solace from self- approbation : none even from self - respect . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had injured - wounded - left [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} master]_{4336-my master} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was hateful in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} own eyes . Still [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could not turn , nor retrace one step . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} must have led [me]_{251-mr. rochester} on . As to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} own will or conscience , impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled the other . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was weeping wildly as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} walked along [my]_{251-mr. rochester} solitary way : fast , fast [I]_{251-mr. rochester} went like one delirious . A weakness , beginning inwardly , extending to the limbs , seized [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} fell : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} lay on the ground some minutes , pressing [my]_{251-mr. rochester} face to the wet turf . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had some fear - or hope - that here [I]_{251-mr. rochester} should die : but [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was soon up ; crawling forwards on [my]_{251-mr. rochester} hands and knees , and then again raised to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} feet - as eager and as determined as ever to reach [the road]_{4892-the road} . When [I]_{251-mr. rochester} got [there]_4426-there , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was forced to sit to rest [me]_{251-mr. rochester} under the hedge ; and while [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sat , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} heard wheels , and saw [a coach]_{835-a coach} come on . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} stood up and lifted [my]_{251-mr. rochester} hand ; it stopped . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} asked where it was going : [the driver]_{1393-the driver} named [a place a long way off]_{6703-a place a long way off} , and where [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was sure [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} had no connections . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} asked for what sum [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would take [me]_{251-mr. rochester} [there]_4426-there ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} said thirty shillings ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} answered [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had but twenty ; well , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would try to make it do . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} further gave [me]_{251-mr. rochester} leave to get into the inside , as [the vehicle]_{1356-the vehicle} was empty : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} entered , was shut in , and it rolled on its way . [Gentle reader]_{6706-gentle reader} , may [you]_{6706-gentle reader} never feel what [I]_{251-mr. rochester} then felt ! May [your]_{6706-gentle reader} eyes never shed such stormy , scalding , heart - wrung tears as poured from [mine]_{251-mr. rochester} . May [you]_{6706-gentle reader} never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that hour left [my]_{251-mr. rochester} lips ; for never may [you]_{6706-gentle reader} , like [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , dread to be the instrument of evil to what [you]_{6706-gentle reader} wholly love . CHAPTER XXVIII Two days are passed . It is a summer evening ; [the coachman]_{4912-the coachman} has set [me]_{251-mr. rochester} down at [a place called [Whitcross]_99-whitcross]_{6708-a place called whitcross} ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} could take [me]_{251-mr. rochester} no farther for the sum [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had given , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was not possessed of another shilling in [the world]_{484-the world} . [The coach]_{853-the coach} is a mile off by this time ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am alone . At this moment [I]_{251-mr. rochester} discover that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} forgot to take [my]_{251-mr. rochester} parcel out of the pocket of [the coach]_{853-the coach} , where [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had placed it for safety ; there it remains , there it must remain ; and now , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am absolutely destitute . [Whitcross]_99-whitcross is [no town]_{6712-no town} , nor even [a hamlet]_{6713-a hamlet} ; [it]_99-whitcross is but a stone pillar set up where [four roads meet]_{6714-four roads meet} : whitewashed , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} suppose , to be more obvious at a distance and in darkness . Four arms spring from [its]_99-whitcross summit : [the nearest town to which these point]_{6715-the nearest town to which these point} is , according to the inscription , distant ten miles ; the farthest , above twenty . From the well - known names of [these towns]_{6716-these towns} [I]_{251-mr. rochester} learn in [what county [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have lighted]_{6717-what county i have lighted} ; [a north - midland shire]_{6718-a north - midland shire} , dusk with [moorland , ridged with mountain]_{6719-moorland , ridged with mountain} : this [I]_{251-mr. rochester} see . There are great moors behind and on each hand of [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ; there are waves of mountains far beyond [that deep valley]_{6720-that deep valley} at [my]_{251-mr. rochester} feet . [The population here]_{6721-the population here} must be thin , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} see [no passengers]_{6722-no passengers} on [these roads]_{6723-these roads} : [they]_{6723-these roads} stretch out east , west , north , and south - white , broad , lonely ; [they]_{6723-these roads} are all cut in [the moor]_{5303-the moor} , and the heather grows deep and wild to their very verge . Yet [a chance traveller]_{6725-a chance traveller} might pass by ; and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} wish no eye to see [me]_{251-mr. rochester} now : [strangers]_{1704-strangers} would wonder what [I]_{251-mr. rochester} am doing , lingering here at the sign - post , evidently objectless and lost . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} might be questioned : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could give no answer but what would sound incredible and excite suspicion . Not a tie holds [me]_{251-mr. rochester} to [human society]_{6727-human society} at this moment - not a charm or hope calls [me]_{251-mr. rochester} where [my]_{251-mr. rochester} fellow - creatures are - none that saw [me]_{251-mr. rochester} would have a kind thought or a good wish for [me]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} have [no relative]_{6728-no relative} but [the universal mother , Nature]_{6729-the universal mother , nature} : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will seek [her]_{6729-the universal mother , nature} breast and ask repose . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} struck straight into [the heath]_{6730-the heath} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} held on to a hollow [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw deeply furrowing [the brown moorside]_{6731-the brown moorside} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} waded knee - deep in [its]_{6731-the brown moorside} dark growth ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} turned with its turnings , and finding a moss - blackened granite crag in a hidden angle , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sat down under it . [High banks of moor]_{6732-high banks of moor} were about [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ; the crag protected [my]_{251-mr. rochester} head : the sky was over that . Some time passed before [I]_{251-mr. rochester} felt tranquil even here : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had a vague dread that wild cattle might be near , or that [some sportsman]_{6733-some sportsman} or [poacher]_6734-poacher might discover [me]_{251-mr. rochester} . If a gust of wind swept [the waste]_{6735-the waste} , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} looked up , fearing it was the rush of a bull ; if a plover whistled , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} imagined it [a man]_{4429-a man} . Finding [my]_{251-mr. rochester} apprehensions unfounded , however , and calmed by the deep silence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} took confidence . As yet [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had not thought ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had only listened , watched , dreaded ; now [I]_{251-mr. rochester} regained the faculty of reflection . What was [I]_{251-mr. rochester} to do ? Where to go ? Oh , intolerable questions , when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could do nothing and go nowhere ! - when a long way must yet be measured by [my]_{251-mr. rochester} weary , trembling limbs before [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could reach human habitation - when cold charity must be entreated before [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could get a lodging : reluctant sympathy importuned , almost certain repulse incurred , before [my]_{251-mr. rochester} tale could be listened to , or one of [my]_{251-mr. rochester} wants relieved ! [I]_{251-mr. rochester} touched the heath , it was dry , and yet warm with the beat of the summer day . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} looked at the sky ; it was pure : a kindly star twinkled just above [the chasm ridge]_{6737-the chasm ridge} . The dew fell , but with propitious softness ; no breeze whispered . Nature seemed to [me]_{251-mr. rochester} benign and good ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought [she]_6738-her loved [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , outcast as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was ; and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} , who from [man]_4667-man could anticipate only mistrust , rejection , insult , clung to [her]_6738-her with filial fondness . To - night , at least , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would be [[her]_6738-her guest]_{6740-her guest} , as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was [[her]_6738-her child]_{5380-her child} : [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} mother]_{612-my mother} would lodge [me]_{251-mr. rochester} without money and without price . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had one morsel of bread yet : the remnant of a roll [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had bought in [a town [we]_6744-we passed through]_{6743-a town we passed through} at noon with a stray penny - [my]_{251-mr. rochester} last coin . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and there , like jet beads in the heath : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} gathered a handful and ate them with the bread . [My]_{251-mr. rochester} hunger , sharp before , was , if not satisfied , appeased by [this hermit]_{6745-this hermit} 's meal . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} said [my]_{251-mr. rochester} evening prayers at its conclusion , and then chose [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} couch]_{1424-my couch} . Beside the crag the heath was very deep : when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} lay down [my]_{251-mr. rochester} feet were buried in it ; rising high on each side , it left only a narrow space for the night - air to invade . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} folded [my]_{251-mr. rochester} shawl double , and spread it over [me]_{251-mr. rochester} for a coverlet ; a low , mossy swell was [my]_{251-mr. rochester} pillow . Thus lodged , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was not , at least - at the commencement of the night , cold . [My]_{251-mr. rochester} rest might have been blissful enough , only a sad heart broke it . [It]_6747-it plained of its gaping wounds , its inward bleeding , its riven chords . It trembled for [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} and [his]_{251-mr. rochester} doom ; it bemoaned [him]_{251-mr. rochester} with bitter pity ; it demanded [him]_{251-mr. rochester} with ceaseless longing ; and , impotent as a bird with both wings broken , it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain attempts to seek [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Worn out with this torture of thought , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} rose to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} knees . Night was come , and [her]_6748-her planets were risen : a safe , still night : too serene for the companionship of fear . [We]_6749-we know that [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} is everywhere ; but certainly [we]_6749-we feel [His]_{251-mr. rochester} presence most when [His]_{251-mr. rochester} works are on the grandest scale spread before [us]_6749-we ; and it is in the unclouded night - sky , where [His]_{251-mr. rochester} worlds wheel their silent course , that [we]_6749-we read clearest [His]_{251-mr. rochester} infinitude , [His]_{251-mr. rochester} omnipotence , [His]_{251-mr. rochester} omnipresence . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had risen to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} knees to pray for [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . Looking up , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} , with tear - dimmed eyes , saw the mighty Milky - way . Remembering what it was - what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} felt the might and strength of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . Sure was [I]_{251-mr. rochester} of [His]_{251-mr. rochester} efficiency to save what [He]_{251-mr. rochester} had made : convinced [I]_{251-mr. rochester} grew that neither [earth]_478-earth should perish , nor one of the souls [it]_478-earth treasured . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} turned [my]_{251-mr. rochester} prayer to thanksgiving : the Source of Life was also [the Saviour of spirits]_{6751-the saviour of spirits} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was safe ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's , and by [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} would [he]_{251-mr. rochester} be guarded . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} again nestled to [the breast of [the hill]_{4854-the hill}]_{6752-the breast of the hill} ; and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow . But next day , [Want]_398-want came to [me]_{251-mr. rochester} pale and bare . Long after the little birds had left [their]_6754-their nests ; long after bees had come in the sweet prime of day to gather the heath honey before the dew was dried - when the long morning shadows were curtailed , and the sun filled earth and sky - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} got up , and [I]_{251-mr. rochester} looked round [me]_{251-mr. rochester} . What a still , hot , perfect day ! What a golden desert this spreading moor ! Everywhere sunshine . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} wished [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could live in [it]_6755-it and on [it]_6755-it . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw a lizard run over [the crag]_{6756-the crag} ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} would fain at the moment have become [bee or lizard]_{6757-bee or lizard} , that [I]_{251-mr. rochester} might have found fitting nutriment , permanent shelter here . But [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was [a human being]_{2921-a human being} , and had [a human being]_{2921-a human being} 's wants : [I]_{251-mr. rochester} must not linger where there was nothing to supply [them]_398-want . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} rose ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} looked back at the bed [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had left . [Hopeless of the future]_{6760-hopeless of the future} , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} wished but this - that [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} Maker]_{6198-my maker} had that night thought good to require [my]_{251-mr. rochester} soul of [me]_{251-mr. rochester} while [I]_{251-mr. rochester} slept ; and that [this weary frame , absolved by death from further conflict with fate]_{6762-this weary frame , absolved by death from further conflict with fate} , had now but to decay quietly , and mingle in peace with the soil of [this wilderness]_{6763-this wilderness} . Life , however , was yet in [my]_{251-mr. rochester} possession , with all its requirements , and pains , and responsibilities . The burden must be carried ; the want provided for ; the suffering endured ; the responsibility fulfilled . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} set out . [Whitcross regained]_99-whitcross , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} followed [a road]_{6764-a road} which led from the sun , now fervent and high . By no other circumstance had [I]_{251-mr. rochester} will to decide [my]_{251-mr. rochester} choice . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} walked a long time , and when [I]_{251-mr. rochester} thought [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had nearly done enough , and might conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered [me]_{251-mr. rochester} - might relax this forced action , and , sitting down on a stone [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw near , submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb - [I]_{251-mr. rochester} heard a bell chime - a church bell . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} turned in the direction of the sound , and there , amongst [the romantic hills , whose changes and aspect [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had ceased to note an hour ago]_{6765-the romantic hills , whose changes and aspect i had ceased to note an hour ago} , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw [a hamlet]_{6713-a hamlet} and [a spire]_{6767-a spire} . [All [the valley]_{6769-the valley} at [my]_{251-mr. rochester} right hand]_{6768-all the valley at my right hand} was full of [pasture - fields]_{6770-pasture - fields} , and [cornfields]_{6771-cornfields} , and wood ; and [a glittering stream]_{6772-a glittering stream} ran zig - zag through the varied shades of green , the mellowing grain , [the sombre woodland]_{6773-the sombre woodland} , [the clear and sunny lea]_{6774-the clear and sunny lea} . Recalled by the rumbling of wheels to the road before [me]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} saw a heavily - laden waggon labouring up [the hill]_{4854-the hill} , and not far beyond were two cows and [their]_6776-their drover . Human life and human labour were near . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} must struggle on : strive to live and bend to toil like the rest . About two o'clock p.m. [I]_{251-mr. rochester} entered [the village]_{6777-the village} . At the bottom of [[its]_{6777-the village} one street]_{6778-its one street} there was [a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window]_{6779-a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} coveted a cake of bread . With that refreshment [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could perhaps regain a degree of energy : without it , it would be difficult to proceed . The wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to [me]_{251-mr. rochester} as soon as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was amongst [[my]_{251-mr. rochester} fellow - beings]_{6780-my fellow - beings} . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} felt it would be degrading to faint with hunger on [the causeway of [a hamlet]_{6713-a hamlet}]_{6781-the causeway of a hamlet} . Had [I]_{251-mr. rochester} nothing about [me]_{251-mr. rochester} [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could offer in exchange for one of these rolls ? [I]_{251-mr. rochester} considered . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had a small silk handkerchief tied round [my]_{251-mr. rochester} throat ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had [my]_{251-mr. rochester} gloves . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} could hardly tell how [men]_482-men and [women in extremities of destitution]_{6784-women in extremities of destitution} proceeded . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} did not know whether either of these articles would be accepted : probably they would not ; but [I]_{251-mr. rochester} must try . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} entered [the shop]_{6785-the shop} : [a woman]_{4399-a woman} was there . Seeing [a respectably - dressed person]_{6787-a respectably - dressed person} , [a lady as [she]_{4399-a woman} supposed]_{6788-a lady as she supposed} , [she]_{4399-a woman} came forward with civility . How could [she]_{4399-a woman} serve [me]_{251-mr. rochester} ? [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was seized with shame : [my]_{251-mr. rochester} tongue would not utter the request [I]_{251-mr. rochester} had prepared . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} dared not offer [her]_{4399-a woman} the half - worn gloves , the creased handkerchief : besides , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} felt it would be absurd . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} only begged permission to sit down a moment , as [I]_{251-mr. rochester} was tired . Disappointed in the expectation of [a customer]_{6789-a customer} , [she]_{4399-a woman} coolly acceded to [my]_{251-mr. rochester} request . [She]_{4399-a woman} pointed to a seat ; [I]_{251-mr. rochester} sank into it . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} felt sorely urged to weep ; but conscious how unseasonable such a manifestation would be , [I]_{251-mr. rochester} restrained it . Soon [I]_{251-mr. rochester} asked [her]_{4399-a woman} "_{[251-mr. rochester]} if there were [any dressmaker]_{3235-any dressmaker} or [plain - workwoman in [the village]_{6777-the village}]_{3236-plain - workwoman in the village} ? " "_{[3235-any dressmaker]} Yes ; two or three . Quite as many as there was employment for . " [I]_3238-i reflected . [I]_3238-i was driven to the point now . [I]_3238-i was brought face to face with Necessity . [I]_3238-i stood in the position of [one without a resource]_{6790-one without a resource} , without [a friend]_{5395-a friend} , without a coin . [I]_3238-i must do something . What ? [I]_3238-i must apply somewhere . Where ? "_[3238-i] Did [she]_3238-i know of any place in [the neighbourhood where [a servant]_{4337-a servant} was wanted]_{3239-the neighbourhood where a servant was wanted} ? " "_[3238-i] Nay ; [she]_3238-i could n't say . " "_[3238-i] What was the chief trade in [this place]_{2979-this place} ? What did [most of [the people]_{3243-the people}]_{3242-most of the people} do ? " "_[1182-some] [Some]_1182-some were [farm labourers]_{3245-farm labourers} ; a good deal worked at [[Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} 's needle - factory]_{3246-mr. oliver 's needle - factory} , and at [the foundry]_{3247-the foundry} . " "_{[399-mr. oliver]} Did [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} employ [women]_671-women ? " "_{[399-mr. oliver]} Nay ; it was [men]_482-men 's work . " "_[482-men] And what do [the women]_{3250-the women} do ? " "_{[3250-the women]} [I]_0-i knawn't , " was the answer . "_[0-i] [Some]_1182-some does one thing , and some another . [Poor folk]_{3252-poor folk} mun get on as [they]_{3252-poor folk} can . " [She]_3238-i seemed to be tired of [my]_{3252-poor folk} questions : and , indeed , what claim had [I]_{3252-poor folk} to importune [her]_3238-i ? [A neighbour or two]_{6792-a neighbour or two} came in ; [my]_{3252-poor folk} chair was evidently wanted . [I]_{3252-poor folk} took leave . [I]_{3252-poor folk} passed up [the street]_{6793-the street} , looking as [I]_{3252-poor folk} went at all [the houses]_{6794-the houses} to the right hand and to the left ; but [I]_{3252-poor folk} could discover no pretext , nor see an inducement to enter any . [I]_{3252-poor folk} rambled round [the hamlet]_{6795-the hamlet} , going sometimes to a little distance and returning again , for an hour or more . Much exhausted , and suffering greatly now for want of food , [I]_{3252-poor folk} turned aside into [a lane]_{6796-a lane} and sat down under the hedge . Ere many minutes had elapsed , [I]_{3252-poor folk} was again on [my]_{3252-poor folk} feet , however , and again searching something - [a resource]_{6797-a resource} , or at least [an informant]_{6798-an informant} . [A pretty little house]_{6799-a pretty little house} stood at the top of [the lane]_{1619-the lane} , with a garden before [it]_{6799-a pretty little house} , exquisitely neat and brilliantly blooming . [I]_{3252-poor folk} stopped at [it]_{6799-a pretty little house} . What business had [I]_{3252-poor folk} to approach the white door or touch the glittering knocker ? In what way could it possibly be the interest of [the inhabitants of [that dwelling]_{6802-that dwelling}]_{6801-the inhabitants of that dwelling} to serve [me]_{3252-poor folk} ? Yet [I]_{3252-poor folk} drew near and knocked . [A mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} opened the door . In such a voice as might be expected from a hopeless heart and fainting frame - a voice wretchedly low and faltering - [I]_{3252-poor folk} asked if [a servant]_{4337-a servant} was wanted [here]_4312-here ? "_{[3252-poor folk]} No , " said [she]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} ; "_{[3252-poor folk]} [we]_3253-we do not keep [a servant]_{4337-a servant} . " "_{[4337-a servant]} Can [you]_3255-i tell [me]_0-i where [I]_0-i could get employment of any kind ? " [I]_3255-i continued . "_[3255-i] [I]_0-i am [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} , without acquaintance in [this place]_{2979-this place} . [I]_0-i want some work : no matter what . " But it was not [her]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} business to think for [me]_3255-i , or to seek a place for [me]_3255-i : besides , in [her]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} eyes , how doubtful must have appeared [my]_3255-i character , position , tale . [She]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} shook [her]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} head , [she]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} "_[3255-i] was sorry [she]_3255-i could give [me]_0-i no information , " and the white door closed , quite gently and civilly : but it shut [me]_3255-i out . If [she]_{6803-a mild - looking , cleanly - attired young woman} had held it open a little longer , [I]_3255-i believe [I]_3255-i should have begged a piece of bread ; for [I]_3255-i was now brought low . [I]_3255-i could not bear to return to [the sordid village]_{6806-the sordid village} , where , besides , no prospect of aid was visible . [I]_3255-i should have longed rather to deviate to a wood [I]_3255-i saw [not far off]_{6807-not far off} , which appeared in [its]_{6807-not far off} [thick shade to offer inviting shelter]_{6808-thick shade to offer inviting shelter} ; but [I]_3255-i was so sick , so weak , so gnawed with nature 's cravings , instinct kept [me]_3255-i roaming round abodes where there was a chance of food . Solitude would be no solitude - rest no rest - while the vulture , hunger , thus sank beak and talons in [my]_3255-i side . [I]_3255-i drew near [houses]_665-houses ; [I]_3255-i left them , and came back again , and again [I]_3255-i wandered away : always repelled by the consciousness of having no claim to ask - no right to expect interest in [[my]_3255-i isolated lot]_{6810-my isolated lot} . Meantime , the afternoon advanced , while [I]_3255-i thus wandered about like a lost and starving dog . In crossing [a field]_{1607-a field} , [I]_3255-i saw [the church spire before [me]_3255-i]_{6812-the church spire before me} : [I]_3255-i hastened towards [it]_{6812-the church spire before me} . Near [the churchyard]_{4363-the churchyard} , and in the middle of [a garden]_{6814-a garden} , stood [a well - built though small house , which [I]_3255-i had no doubt was [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage}]_{6815-a well - built though small house , which i had no doubt was the parsonage} . [I]_3255-i remembered that [[strangers]_{1704-strangers} who arrive at [a place where [they]_{1704-strangers} have [no friends]_{1288-no friends} , and who want employment]_{6819-a place where they have no friends , and who want employment} , sometimes apply to [the clergyman for introduction and aid]_{6821-the clergyman for introduction and aid} . It is [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} 's function to help - at least with advice - [those who wished to help [themselves]_{6823-those who wished to help themselves}]_{6823-those who wished to help themselves} . [I]_3255-i seemed to have something like a right to seek counsel [here]_4312-here]_{6818-strangers who arrive at a place where they have no friends , and who want employment , sometimes apply to the clergyman for introduction and aid . it is the clergyman 's function to help - at least with advice - those who wished to help themselves . i seemed to have something like a right to seek counsel here} . Renewing then [my]_3255-i courage , and gathering [my]_3255-i feeble remains of strength , [I]_3255-i pushed on . [I]_3255-i reached [the house]_{4322-the house} , and knocked at the [kitchen]_572-kitchen - door . [An old woman]_{6827-an old woman} opened : [I]_3255-i asked was this [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage} ? "_[3255-i] Yes . " "_[3255-i] Was [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} in ? " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} No . " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} Would [he]_{6499-the clergyman} be in soon ? " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} No , [he]_{6499-the clergyman} was gone from [home]_509-home . " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} To a distance ? " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} Not so far - happen three mile . [He]_{6499-the clergyman} had been called away by the sudden death of [[his]_{6499-the clergyman} father]_{5218-his father} : [he]_{6499-the clergyman} was at [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} now , and would very likely stay [there]_4426-there a fortnight longer . " "_{[6499-the clergyman]} Was there [any lady of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{3262-any lady of the house} ? " "_{[3262-any lady of the house]} Nay , there was naught but [her]_{3262-any lady of the house} , and [she]_{3262-any lady of the house} was [housekeeper]_{750-housekeeper} ; " and of [her]_{3262-any lady of the house} , [reader]_496-reader , [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} could not bear to ask the relief for want of which [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} was sinking ; [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} could not yet beg ; and again [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} crawled away . Once more [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} took off [my]_{3262-any lady of the house} handkerchief - once more [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} thought of the cakes of bread in [the little shop]_{6830-the little shop} . Oh , for but a crust ! for but one mouthful to allay the pang of famine ! Instinctively [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} turned [my]_{3262-any lady of the house} face again to [the village]_{6777-the village} ; [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} found [the shop]_{6785-the shop} again , and [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} went in ; and though [others]_1041-others were there besides [the woman]_{1963-the woman} [I]_{3262-any lady of the house} ventured the request - "_{[3262-any lady of the house]} Would [she]_3265-i give [me]_0-i a roll for this handkerchief ? " [She]_3265-i looked at [me]_3265-i with evident suspicion : "_[3265-i] Nay , [she]_3265-i never sold stuff [i]_0-i ' that way . " Almost desperate , [I]_3265-i asked for half a cake ; [she]_3265-i again refused . "_[3265-i] How could [she]_3265-i tell where [I]_0-i had got the handkerchief ? " [she]_3265-i said . "_[3265-i] Would [she]_3265-i take [my]_0-i gloves ? " "_[3265-i] No ! what could [she]_3265-i do with them ? " [Reader]_387-reader , it is not pleasant to dwell on these details . [Some]_1182-some say there is enjoyment in looking back to painful experience past ; but at this day [I]_3265-i can scarcely bear to review the times to which [I]_3265-i allude : the moral degradation , blent with the physical suffering , form too distressing a recollection ever to be willingly dwelt on . [I]_3265-i blamed none of those who repulsed [me]_3265-i . [I]_3265-i felt it was what was to be expected , and what could not be helped : [an ordinary beggar]_{6836-an ordinary beggar} is frequently an object of suspicion ; [a well - dressed beggar]_{6837-a well - dressed beggar} inevitably so . To be sure , what [I]_3265-i begged was employment ; but whose business was it to provide [me]_3265-i with employment ? Not , certainly , that of [persons who saw [me]_3265-i then for the first time , and who knew nothing about [my]_3265-i character]_{6838-persons who saw me then for the first time , and who knew nothing about my character} . And as to [the woman who would not take [my]_3265-i handkerchief in exchange for [her]_{6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread} bread]_{6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread} , why , [she]_{6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread} was right , if the offer appeared to [her]_{6839-the woman who would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread} sinister or the exchange unprofitable . Let [me]_3265-i condense now . [I]_3265-i am sick of the subject . A little before dark [I]_3265-i passed [a farm - house]_{6840-a farm - house} , at the open door of which [the farmer]_{6841-the farmer} was sitting , eating [his]_{6841-the farmer} supper of bread and cheese . [I]_3265-i stopped and said - "_[3265-i] Will [you]_3266-i give [me]_0-i a piece of bread ? for [I]_0-i am very hungry . " [He]_{6841-the farmer} cast on [me]_3266-i a glance of surprise ; but without answering , [he]_{6841-the farmer} cut a thick slice from [his]_{6841-the farmer} loaf , and gave it to [me]_3266-i . [I]_3266-i imagine [he]_{6841-the farmer} did not think [I]_3266-i was [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} , but only [an eccentric sort of lady , who had taken a fancy to [his]_{6841-the farmer} brown loaf]_{6843-an eccentric sort of lady , who had taken a fancy to his brown loaf} . As soon as [I]_3266-i was out of sight of [[his]_{6841-the farmer} house]_{615-his house} , [I]_3266-i sat down and ate it . [I]_3266-i could not hope to get a lodging under a roof , and sought it in the wood [I]_3266-i have before alluded to . But [my]_3266-i night was wretched , [my]_3266-i rest broken : the ground was damp , the air cold : besides , [intruders]_{6845-intruders} passed near [me]_3266-i more than once , and [I]_3266-i had again and again to change [[my]_3266-i quarters]_{6846-my quarters} ; no sense of safety or tranquillity befriended [me]_3266-i . Towards morning it rained ; the whole of the following day was wet . Do not ask [me]_3266-i , [reader]_496-reader , to give a minute account of that day ; as before , [I]_3266-i sought work ; as before , [I]_3266-i was repulsed ; as before , [I]_3266-i starved ; but once did food pass [my]_3266-i lips . At the door of [a cottage]_{6848-a cottage} [I]_3266-i saw [a little girl about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pig trough]_{6849-a little girl about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pig trough} . "_[3266-i] Will [you]_3267-she give [me]_0-i that ? " [I]_3267-she asked . [She]_3267-she stared at [me]_3267-she . "_[3267-she] [Mother]_4387-mother ! " [she]_3267-she exclaimed , "_{[4399-a woman]} there is [a woman]_{4399-a woman} wants [me]_0-i to give [her]_{4399-a woman} these porridge . " "_{[4399-a woman]} Well [lass]_3270-lass , " replied a voice within , "_{[4399-a woman]} give it [her]_{4399-a woman} if [she]_{4399-a woman} 's [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} . T ' pig does n't want it . " [The girl]_{982-the girl} emptied the stiffened mould into [my]_0-i hand , and [I]_0-i devoured it ravenously . As the wet twilight deepened , [I]_0-i stopped in [a solitary bridle - path]_{6851-a solitary bridle - path} , which [I]_0-i had been pursuing an hour or more . "_[0-i] [My]_0-i strength is quite failing [me]_0-i , " [I]_0-i said in a soliloquy . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel [I]_0-i can not go much farther . Shall [I]_0-i be [an outcast]_{3272-an outcast} again this night ? While the rain descends so , must [I]_0-i lay [my]_0-i head on the cold , drenched ground ? [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i can not do otherwise : for who will receive [me]_0-i ? But it will be very dreadful , with this feeling of hunger , faintness , chill , and this sense of desolation - this total prostration of hope . In all likelihood , though , [I]_0-i should die before morning . And why can not [I]_0-i reconcile [myself]_0-i to the prospect of death ? Why do [I]_0-i struggle to retain a valueless life ? Because [I]_0-i know , or believe , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is living : and then , to die of want and cold is a fate to which nature can not submit passively . Oh , [Providence]_{272-providence} ! sustain [me]_0-i a little longer ! Aid ! - direct [me]_0-i ! " [My]_{272-providence} glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty landscape . [I]_{272-providence} saw [I]_{272-providence} had strayed far from [the village]_{6777-the village} : [it]_{6777-the village} was quite out of sight . The very cultivation surrounding [it]_{6777-the village} had disappeared . [I]_{272-providence} had , by cross - ways and by - paths , once more drawn near [the tract of moorland]_{6853-the tract of moorland} ; and now , only [a few fields]_{6854-a few fields} , almost as wild and unproductive as the heath from which [they]_{6854-a few fields} were scarcely reclaimed , lay between [me]_{272-providence} and [the dusky hill]_{6855-the dusky hill} . "_{[272-providence]} Well , [I]_0-i would rather die yonder than in [a street]_{3273-a street} or on [a frequented road]_{3274-a frequented road} , " [I]_0-i reflected . "_[0-i] And far better that crows and ravens - if any ravens there be in [these regions]_{3275-these regions} - should pick [my]_0-i flesh from [my]_0-i bones , than that [they]_3276-they should be prisoned in a workhouse coffin and moulder in [a pauper]_{3277-a pauper} 's grave . " To [the hill]_{4854-the hill} , then , [I]_0-i turned . [I]_0-i reached [it]_{4854-the hill} . It remained now only to find [a hollow where [I]_0-i could lie down]_{6857-a hollow where i could lie down} , and feel at least hidden , if not secure . But all the surface of [the waste]_{6735-the waste} looked level . It showed no variation but of tint : green , where rush and moss overgrew [the marshes]_{681-the marshes} ; black , where [the dry soil bore only heath]_{6860-the dry soil bore only heath} . Dark as it was getting , [I]_0-i could still see these changes , though but as mere alternations of light and shade ; for colour had faded with the daylight . [My]_0-i eye still roved over [the sullen swell]_{6861-the sullen swell} and along [the moor - edge]_{6862-the moor - edge} , vanishing amidst the wildest scenery , when at one dim point , far in among [the marshes]_{681-the marshes} and [the ridges]_{6864-the ridges} , a light sprang up . "_[0-i] That is an ignis fatuus , " was [my]_0-i first thought ; and [I]_0-i expected it would soon vanish . It burnt on , however , quite steadily , neither receding nor advancing . "_[0-i] Is it , then , a bonfire just kindled ? " [I]_0-i questioned . [I]_0-i watched to see whether it would spread : but no ; as it did not diminish , so it did not enlarge . "_[0-i] It may be a candle in [a house]_{4534-a house} , " [I]_0-i then conjectured ; "_[0-i] but if so , [I]_0-i can never reach it . It is much too far away : and were it within a yard of [me]_0-i , what would it avail ? [I]_0-i should but knock at the door to have it shut in [my]_0-i face . " And [I]_400-diana sank down where [I]_400-diana stood , and hid [my]_400-diana face against the ground . [I]_400-diana lay still a while : the night - wind swept over [the hill]_{4854-the hill} and over [me]_400-diana , and died moaning in the distance ; the rain fell fast , wetting [me]_400-diana afresh to the skin . Could [I]_400-diana but have stiffened to the still frost - the friendly numbness of death - it might have pelted on ; [I]_400-diana should not have felt it ; but [my]_400-diana yet living flesh shuddered at its chilling influence . [I]_400-diana rose ere long . The light was yet there , shining dim but constant through the rain . [I]_400-diana tried to walk again : [I]_400-diana dragged [my]_400-diana exhausted limbs slowly towards it . It led [me]_400-diana aslant over [the hill]_{4854-the hill} , through [a wide bog]_{6867-a wide bog} , which would have been impassable in winter , and was splashy and shaking even now , in the height of summer . Here [I]_400-diana fell twice ; but as often [I]_400-diana rose and rallied [my]_400-diana faculties . This light was [my]_400-diana forlorn hope : [I]_400-diana must gain it . Having crossed [the marsh]_{6868-the marsh} , [I]_400-diana saw a trace of white over [the moor]_{5303-the moor} . [I]_400-diana approached [it]_6870-it ; [it]_6870-it was [a road]_{6764-a road} or [a track]_{6872-a track} : [it]_6870-it led straight up to the light , which now beamed from a sort of knoll , amidst a clump of trees - firs , apparently , from what [I]_400-diana could distinguish of the character of their forms and foliage through the gloom . [My]_400-diana star vanished as [I]_400-diana drew near : some obstacle had intervened between [me]_400-diana and [it]_6870-it . [I]_400-diana put out [my]_400-diana hand to feel the dark mass before [me]_400-diana : [I]_400-diana discriminated the rough stones of a low wall - above [it]_6870-it , something like palisades , and within , a high and prickly hedge . [I]_400-diana groped on . Again a whitish object gleamed before [me]_400-diana : it was a gate - a wicket ; it moved on [its]_6870-it hinges as [I]_400-diana touched [it]_6870-it . On each side stood a sable bush - holly or yew . Entering the gate and passing the shrubs , the silhouette of [a house]_{4534-a house} rose to view , black , low , and rather long ; but the guiding light shone nowhere . All was obscurity . Were [the inmates]_{6874-the inmates} retired to rest ? [I]_400-diana feared it must be so . In seeking the door , [I]_400-diana turned an angle : there shot out the friendly gleam again , from the lozenged panes of a very small latticed window , within a foot of the ground , made still smaller by the growth of ivy or some other creeping plant , whose leaves clustered thick over the portion of the house wall in which it was set . The aperture was so screened and narrow , that curtain or shutter had been deemed unnecessary ; and when [I]_400-diana stooped down and put aside the spray of foliage shooting over it , [I]_400-diana could see all within . [I]_400-diana could see clearly [a room with a sanded floor , clean scoured ; a dresser of walnut , with pewter plates ranged in rows , reflecting the redness and radiance of a glowing peat - fire]_{6875-a room with a sanded floor , clean scoured ; a dresser of walnut , with pewter plates ranged in rows , reflecting the redness and radiance of a glowing peat - fire} . [I]_400-diana could see a clock , a white deal table , some chairs . The candle , whose ray had been [my]_400-diana beacon , burnt on the table ; and by its light [an elderly woman]_{6876-an elderly woman} , somewhat rough - looking , but scrupulously clean , like all about [her]_{6876-an elderly woman} , was knitting a stocking . [I]_400-diana noticed these objects cursorily only - in them there was nothing extraordinary . A group of more interest appeared near the hearth , sitting still amidst the rosy peace and warmth suffusing it . [Two young , graceful women]_{6877-two young , graceful women} - [ladies in every point]_{6878-ladies in every point} - sat , one in a low rocking - chair , [the other on a lower stool]_{6879-the other on a lower stool} ; [both]_710-both wore deep mourning of crape and bombazeen , which sombre garb singularly set off very fair necks and faces : a large old pointer dog rested its massive head on the knee of [one girl]_{6881-one girl} - in the lap of the other was cushioned a black cat . [A strange place]_{6882-a strange place} was [this humble kitchen]_{6883-this humble kitchen} for [such occupants]_{6884-such occupants} ! Who were [they]_{6884-such occupants} ? [They]_{6884-such occupants} could not be [the daughters of [the elderly person at the table]_{6886-the elderly person at the table}]_{6885-the daughters of the elderly person at the table} ; for [she]_{6876-an elderly woman} looked like [a rustic]_{6887-a rustic} , and [they]_{6884-such occupants} were all delicacy and cultivation . [I]_400-diana had nowhere seen such faces as [theirs]_{6884-such occupants} : and yet , as [I]_400-diana gazed on [them]_{6884-such occupants} , [I]_400-diana seemed intimate with every lineament . [I]_400-diana can not call [them]_{6884-such occupants} handsome - [they]_{6884-such occupants} were too pale and grave for the word : as [they]_{6884-such occupants} each bent over a book , [they]_{6884-such occupants} looked thoughtful almost to severity . A stand between [them]_{6884-such occupants} supported a second candle and two great volumes , to which [they]_{6884-such occupants} frequently referred , comparing [them]_{6884-such occupants} , seemingly , with the smaller books [they]_{6884-such occupants} held in [their]_{6884-such occupants} hands , like [people consulting a dictionary]_{6888-people consulting a dictionary} to aid [them]_{6884-such occupants} in the task of translation . This scene was as silent as if all the figures had been shadows and [the firelit apartment]_{6889-the firelit apartment} a picture : so hushed was it , [I]_400-diana could hear the cinders fall from the grate , the clock tick in its obscure corner ; and [I]_400-diana even fancied [I]_400-diana could distinguish the click - click of [the woman]_{1963-the woman} 's knitting - needles . When , therefore , a voice broke the strange stillness at last , it was audible enough to [me]_400-diana . "_[400-diana] Listen , [Diana]_400-diana , " said [one of [the absorbed students]_{6892-the absorbed students}]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} ; "_[400-diana] [Franz]_401-franz and [old Daniel]_197-daniel are together in the night - time , and [Franz]_401-franz is telling a dream from which [he]_197-daniel has awakened in terror - listen ! " And in a low voice [she]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} read something , of which not one word was intelligible to [me]_401-franz ; for it was in an unknown tongue - neither French nor Latin . Whether it were Greek or German [I]_401-franz could not tell . "_[401-franz] That is strong , " [she]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} said , when [she]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} had finished : "_[401-franz] [I]_0-i relish it . " [The other girl]_{6893-the other girl} , who had lifted [her]_{6893-the other girl} head to listen to [[her]_{6893-the other girl} sister]_{4922-her sister} , repeated , while [she]_{6893-the other girl} gazed at the fire , a line of what had been read . At a later day , [I]_401-franz knew the language and the book ; therefore , [I]_401-franz will here quote the line : though , when [I]_401-franz first heard it , it was only like a stroke on sounding brass to [me]_401-franz - conveying no meaning:- "_[401-franz] ' Da trat hervor Einer , anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht . ' Good ! good ! " [she]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} exclaimed , while [her]_{6891-one of the absorbed students} dark and deep eye sparkled . "_[401-franz] There [you]_3279-you have a dim and mighty archangel fitly set before [you]_3279-you ! The line is worth a hundred pages of fustian . ' Ich wage die Gedanken in [der Schale meines Zornes]_{102-der schale meines zornes} und die Werke mit [dem Gewichte meines Grimms]_{402-dem gewichte meines grimms} . ' [I]_0-i like it ! " [Both]_710-both were again silent . "_[0-i] Is there [ony country where [they]_3281-they talk [i]_0-i ' that way]_{3280-ony country where they talk i ' that way} ? " asked [the old woman]_{5820-the old woman} , looking up from [her]_{5820-the old woman} knitting . "_[3281-they] Yes , [Hannah]_233-mary - [a far larger country than [England]_21-england , where [they]_3281-they talk in no other way]_{3282-a far larger country than england , where they talk in no other way} . " "_[3281-they] Well , for sure case , [I]_0-i knawn't how [they]_3281-they can understand t ' one t'other : and if either o ' [ye]_3279-you went [there]_4426-there , [ye]_3279-you could tell what [they]_3281-they said , [I]_0-i guess ? " "_[3279-you] [We]_3284-we could probably tell something of what [they]_3281-they said , but not all - for [we]_3284-we are not as clever as [you]_0-i think [us]_3284-we , [Hannah]_233-mary . [We]_3284-we do n't speak German , and [we]_3284-we can not read it without a dictionary to help [us]_3284-we . " "_[3284-we] And what good does it do [you]_0-i ? " "_[3284-we] [We]_3284-we mean to teach it some time - or at least the elements , as [they]_3281-they say ; and then [we]_3284-we shall get more money than [we]_3284-we do now . " "_[403-varry] [Varry]_403-varry like : but give ower studying ; [ye've]_403-varry done enough for to - night . " "_[3284-we] [I]_0-i think [we]_3284-we have : at least [I]_0-i 'm tired . [Mary]_233-mary , are [you]_233-mary ? " "_{[404-mortally]} [Mortally]_404-mortally : after all , it 's tough work fagging away at a language with [no master but a lexicon]_{3285-no master but a lexicon} . " "_{[404-mortally]} It is , especially such a language as this crabbed but glorious Deutsch . [I]_0-i wonder when [St. John]_360-john will come [home]_509-home . " "_[360-john] Surely [he]_360-john will not be long now : it is just ten looking at a little gold watch [she]_3287-she drew from [her]_3287-she girdle . It rains fast , [Hannah]_233-mary : will [you]_233-mary have the goodness to look at the fire in [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} ? " [The woman]_{1963-the woman} rose : [she]_{1963-the woman} opened a door , through which [I]_233-mary dimly saw a passage : soon [I]_233-mary heard [her]_{1963-the woman} stir a fire in [an inner room]_{6898-an inner room} ; [she]_{1963-the woman} presently came back . "_[233-mary] Ah , [childer]_3289-childer ! " said [she]_{1963-the woman} , "_[233-mary] it fair troubles [me]_0-i to go into [yond ' room]_{3290-yond ' room} now : it looks so lonesome wi ' the chair empty and set back in a corner . " [She]_{1963-the woman} wiped [her]_{1963-the woman} eyes with [her]_{1963-the woman} apron : [the two girls , grave before]_{6899-the two girls , grave before} , looked sad now . "_[3295-you] But [he]_3291-he is in a better place , " continued [Hannah]_233-mary : "_[3295-you] [we]_3292-we should n't wish [him]_3291-he [here]_4312-here again . And then , [nobody]_4628-nobody need to have a quieter death nor [he]_3291-he had . " "_[3295-you] [You]_3295-you say [he]_3291-he never mentioned [us]_3292-we ? " inquired [one of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{5857-one of the ladies} . "_[3291-he] [He]_3291-he had n't time , [bairn]_3296-bairn : [he]_3291-he was gone in a minute , was [[your]_3296-bairn father]_{4318-your father} . [He]_3291-he had been a bit ailing like the day before , but naught to signify ; and when [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} asked if [he]_3291-he would like either o ' [ye]_3296-bairn to be sent for , [he]_3291-he fair laughed at [him]_3291-he . [He]_3291-he began again with a bit of a heaviness in [his]_3291-he head the next day - that is , a fortnight sin ' - and [he]_3291-he went to sleep and niver wakened : [he]_3291-he wor a'most stark when [[your]_3296-bairn brother]_{3298-your brother} went into t ' chamber and fand [him]_3291-he . Ah , [childer]_3289-childer ! that 's t ' last o ' t ' old stock - for [ye]_3296-bairn and [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} is like of different soart to [them]_3300-them ' at 's gone ; for all [[your]_3296-bairn mother]_{4582-your mother} wor mich [i]_0-i ' [your]_3296-bairn way , and a'most as book - learned . [She]_{4582-your mother} wor the pictur ' o ' [ye]_3296-bairn , [Mary]_233-mary : [Diana]_400-diana is more like [[your]_3296-bairn father]_{4318-your father} . " [I]_400-diana thought [them]_3300-them so similar [I]_400-diana could not tell where [the old servant]_{6902-the old servant} for such [I]_400-diana now concluded [her]_{4582-your mother} to be saw the difference . [Both]_710-both were fair complexioned and slenderly made ; [both]_710-both possessed faces full of distinction and intelligence . One , to be sure , had hair a shade darker than the other , and there was a difference in [their]_3300-them style of wearing it ; [Mary]_233-mary 's pale brown locks were parted and braided smooth : [Diana]_400-diana 's duskier tresses covered [her]_400-diana neck with thick curls . The clock struck ten . "_[400-diana] [Ye'll]_3296-bairn want [your]_3296-bairn supper , [I]_0-i am sure , " observed [Hannah]_233-mary ; "_[0-i] and so will [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} when [he]_{177-st. john} comes in . " And [she]_233-mary proceeded to prepare the meal . [The ladies]_{1885-the ladies} rose ; [they]_{1885-the ladies} seemed about to withdraw to [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} . Till this moment , [I]_{177-st. john} had been so intent on watching [them]_{1885-the ladies} , [their]_{1885-the ladies} appearance and conversation had excited in [me]_{177-st. john} so keen an interest , [I]_{177-st. john} had half - forgotten [my]_{177-st. john} own wretched position : now it recurred to [me]_{177-st. john} . More desolate , more desperate than ever , it seemed from contrast . And how impossible did it appear to touch [the inmates of [this house]_{4596-this house}]_{6907-the inmates of this house} with concern on [my]_{177-st. john} behalf ; to make [them]_{6907-the inmates of this house} believe in the truth of [my]_{177-st. john} wants and woes - to induce [them]_{6907-the inmates of this house} to vouchsafe a rest for [my]_{177-st. john} wanderings ! As [I]_{177-st. john} groped out the door , and knocked at [it]_6909-it hesitatingly , [I]_{177-st. john} felt that last idea to be a mere chimera . [Hannah]_233-mary opened . "_{[177-st. john]} What do [you]_3303-you want ? " [she]_233-mary inquired , in a voice of surprise , as [she]_233-mary surveyed [me]_3303-you by the light of the candle [she]_233-mary held . "_[3303-you] May [I]_0-i speak to [[your]_3303-you mistresses]_{3304-your mistresses} ? " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] [You]_3303-you had better tell [me]_0-i what [you]_3303-you have to say to [them]_{3304-your mistresses} . Where do [you]_3303-you come from ? " "_[3303-you] [I]_0-i am [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} . " "_{[799-a stranger]} What is [your]_3303-you business here at this hour ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i want a night 's shelter in [an out - house]_{3306-an out - house} or anywhere , and a morsel of bread to eat . " [Distrust]_405-distrust , the very feeling [I]_0-i dreaded , appeared in [Hannah]_233-mary 's face . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'll give [you]_0-i a piece of bread , " [she]_233-mary said , after a pause ; "_[0-i] but [we]_3307-we ca n't take in [a vagrant]_{3308-a vagrant} to [lodge]_3309-lodge . It is n't likely . " "_[0-i] Do let [me]_0-i speak to [[your]_0-i mistresses]_{3304-your mistresses} . " "_[0-i] No , not [I.]_0-i What can [they]_{3304-your mistresses} do for [you]_0-i ? [You]_0-i should not be roving about now ; it looks very ill . " "_[0-i] But where shall [I]_0-i go if [you]_0-i drive [me]_0-i away ? What shall [I]_0-i do ? " "_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i 'll warrant [you]_0-i know where to go and what to do . Mind [you]_0-i do n't do wrong , that 's all . Here is a penny ; now go - " "_[0-i] A penny can not feed [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i have no strength to go farther . Do n't shut the door:- oh , do n't , for God 's sake ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must ; the rain is driving in - " "_{[4509-the young ladies]} Tell [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} . Let [me]_0-i see [them-]_{4509-the young ladies} " "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i will not . [You]_0-i are not what [you]_0-i ought to be , or [you]_0-i would n't make such a noise . Move off . " "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i must die if [I]_0-i am turned away . " "_[0-i] Not [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i 'm fear'd [you]_0-i have some ill plans agate , that bring [you]_0-i about [[folk]_3312-folk 's houses]_{3313-folk 's houses} at this time o ' night . If [you]_0-i 've [any followers]_{3314-any followers} - [housebreakers]_{3315-housebreakers} or such like - anywhere near , [you]_0-i may tell [them]_{3314-any followers} [we]_3316-we are not by [ourselves]_3316-we in [the house]_{4322-the house} ; [we]_3316-we have [a gentleman]_{638-a gentleman} , and dogs , and guns . " Here [the honest but inflexible servant]_{6910-the honest but inflexible servant} clapped the door to and bolted it within . This was the climax . A pang of exquisite suffering - a throe of true despair - rent and heaved [my]_{638-a gentleman} heart . Worn out , indeed , [I]_{638-a gentleman} was ; not another step could [I]_{638-a gentleman} stir . [I]_{638-a gentleman} sank on the wet doorstep : [I]_{638-a gentleman} groaned - [I]_{638-a gentleman} wrung [my]_{638-a gentleman} hands - [I]_{638-a gentleman} wept in utter anguish . Oh , this spectre of death ! Oh , this last hour , approaching in such horror ! Alas , this isolation - this banishment from [[my]_{638-a gentleman} kind]_{1573-my kind} ! Not only the anchor of hope , but the footing of fortitude was gone - at least for a moment ; but the last [I]_{638-a gentleman} soon endeavoured to regain . "_{[638-a gentleman]} [I]_0-i can but die , " [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i believe in [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . Let [me]_0-i try to wait [His]_3319-his will in silence . " These words [I]_0-i not only thought , but uttered ; and thrusting back all [my]_0-i misery into [my]_0-i heart , [I]_0-i made an effort to compel it to remain there - dumb and still . "_[0-i] [All men]_{6647-all men} must die , " said [a voice quite close at hand]_{6912-a voice quite close at hand} ; "_[0-i] but all are not condemned to meet a lingering and premature doom , such as [yours]_3321-yours would be if [you]_3321-yours perished here of want . " "_[3321-yours] Who or what speaks ? " [I]_3321-yours asked , terrified at the unexpected sound , and incapable now of deriving from any occurrence a hope of aid . A form was near - what form , the pitch - dark night and [my]_3321-yours enfeebled vision prevented [me]_3321-yours from distinguishing . With a loud long knock , [the new - comer]_{780-the new - comer} appealed to the door . "_[3321-yours] Is it [you]_3322-you , [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} ? " cried [Hannah]_233-mary . "_[3322-you] Yes - yes ; open quickly . " "_[3322-you] Well , how wet and cold [you]_3322-you must be , such a wild night as it is ! Come in - [[your]_3322-you sisters]_{4419-your sisters} are quite uneasy about [you]_3322-you , and [I]_0-i believe there are [bad folks]_{3324-bad folks} about . There has been [a beggar - woman]_{2767-a beggar - woman} - [I]_0-i declare [she]_{2767-a beggar - woman} is not gone yet ! - laid down there . Get up ! for shame ! Move off , [I]_0-i say ! " "_[0-i] Hush , [Hannah]_233-mary ! [I]_0-i have a word to say to [the woman]_{1963-the woman} . [You]_233-mary have done [your]_233-mary duty in excluding , now let [me]_0-i do [mine]_0-i in admitting [her]_{1963-the woman} . [I]_0-i was near , and listened to both [you]_233-mary and [her]_{1963-the woman} . [I]_0-i think this is a peculiar case - [I]_0-i must at least examine into it . [Young woman]_{3327-young woman} , rise , and pass before [me]_0-i into [the house]_{4322-the house} . " With difficulty [I]_{3327-young woman} obeyed [him]_0-i . Presently [I]_{3327-young woman} stood within [that clean , bright kitchen]_{6914-that clean , bright kitchen} - on the very hearth - trembling , sickening ; conscious of an aspect in the last degree ghastly , wild , and weather - beaten . [The two ladies]_{6915-the two ladies} , [[their]_{6915-the two ladies} brother]_{6916-their brother} , [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , [the old servant]_{6902-the old servant} , were all gazing at [me]_{3327-young woman} . "_{[3327-young woman]} [St. John]_{177-st. john} , who is it ? " [I]_{177-st. john} heard [one]_4415-one ask . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i can not tell : [I]_0-i found [her]_{3327-young woman} at the door , " was the reply . "_[0-i] [She]_{3327-young woman} does look white , " said [Hannah]_233-mary . "_{[3327-young woman]} As white as clay or death , " was responded . "_{[3327-young woman]} [She]_{3327-young woman} will fall : let [her]_{3327-young woman} sit . " And indeed [my]_{3327-young woman} head swam : [I]_{3327-young woman} dropped , but a chair received [me]_{3327-young woman} . [I]_{3327-young woman} still possessed [my]_{3327-young woman} senses , though just now [I]_{3327-young woman} could not speak . "_{[3327-young woman]} Perhaps a little water would restore [her]_{3327-young woman} . [Hannah]_233-mary , fetch some . But [she]_{3327-young woman} is worn to nothing . How very thin , and how very bloodless ! " "_{[3329-a mere spectre]} [A mere spectre]_{3329-a mere spectre} ! " "_{[3329-a mere spectre]} Is [she]_{3327-young woman} ill , or only famished ? " "_[0-i] Famished , [I]_0-i think . [Hannah]_233-mary , is that milk ? Give it [me]_0-i , and a piece of bread . " [Diana]_400-diana [I]_{3329-a mere spectre} knew [her]_{3327-young woman} by the long curls which [I]_{3329-a mere spectre} saw drooping between [me]_{3329-a mere spectre} and the fire as [she]_{3327-young woman} bent over [me]_{3329-a mere spectre} broke some bread , dipped it in milk , and put it to [my]_{3329-a mere spectre} lips . [Her]_{3327-young woman} face was near [mine]_{3329-a mere spectre} : [I]_{3329-a mere spectre} saw there was pity in it , and [I]_{3329-a mere spectre} felt sympathy in [her]_{3327-young woman} hurried breathing . In [her]_{3327-young woman} simple words , too , the same balm - like emotion spoke : "_{[3329-a mere spectre]} Try to eat . " "_[0-i] Yes - try , " repeated [Mary]_233-mary gently ; and [Mary]_233-mary 's hand removed [my]_0-i sodden bonnet and lifted [my]_0-i head . [I]_0-i tasted what [they]_6919-they offered [me]_0-i : feebly at first , eagerly soon . "_[0-i] Not too much at first - restrain [her]_3330-her , " said [the brother]_{6920-the brother} ; ' [she]_3330-her has had enough . "_[3331-he] And [he]_3331-he withdrew the cup of milk and the plate of bread . " A little more , [St. John]_{177-st. john} - look at the avidity in [her]_3330-her eyes . "_[3331-he] " No more at present , [sister]_2236-sister . Try if [she]_3330-her can speak now - ask [her]_3330-her [her]_3330-her name . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i felt [I]_0-i could speak , and [I]_0-i answered - " [My]_0-i name is [Jane Elliott]_{406-jane elliott} . "_[0-i] Anxious as ever to avoid discovery , [I]_0-i had before resolved to assume an ALIAS . " And where do [you]_0-i live ? Where are [[your]_0-i friends]_{6922-your friends} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was silent . " Can [we]_6923-we send for any one [you]_0-i know ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head . " What account can [you]_0-i give of [yourself]_0-i ? "_[0-i] Somehow , now that [I]_0-i had once crossed the threshold of [this house]_{4596-this house} , and once was brought face to face with [[its]_{4596-this house} owners]_{3333-its owners} , [I]_0-i felt no longer outcast , vagrant , and disowned by [the wide world]_{3334-the wide world} . [I]_0-i dared to put off [the mendicant]_{3335-the mendicant} - to resume [my]_0-i natural manner and character . [I]_0-i began once more to know [myself]_0-i ; and when [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} demanded an account - which at present [I]_0-i was far too weak to render - [I]_0-i said after a brief pause - " Sir , [I]_0-i can give [you]_{177-st. john} no details to - night . "_[0-i] " But what , then , "_{[177-st. john]} said [he]_{177-st. john} , " do [you]_0-i expect [me]_{177-st. john} to do for [you]_0-i ? "_{[177-st. john]} " Nothing , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i replied . [My]_0-i strength sufficed for but short answers . [Diana]_400-diana took the word - " Do [you]_0-i mean , "_[400-diana] [she]_400-diana asked , " that [we]_6924-we have now given [you]_0-i what aid [you]_0-i require ? and that [we]_6924-we may dismiss [you]_0-i to [the moor]_{5303-the moor} and the rainy night ? "_[400-diana] [I]_0-i looked at [her]_400-diana . [She]_400-diana had , [I]_0-i thought , a remarkable countenance , instinct both with power and goodness . [I]_0-i took sudden courage . Answering [her]_400-diana compassionate gaze with a smile , [I]_0-i said - " [I]_0-i will trust [you]_400-diana . If [I]_0-i were a masterless and stray dog , [I]_0-i know that [you]_400-diana would not turn [me]_0-i from [your]_400-diana hearth to - night : as it is , [I]_0-i really have no fear . Do with [me]_0-i and for [me]_0-i as [you]_400-diana like ; but excuse [me]_0-i from much discourse - [my]_0-i breath is short - [I]_0-i feel a spasm when [I]_0-i speak . "_[0-i] [All three]_{3336-all three} surveyed [me]_0-i , and [all three]_{3336-all three} were silent . " [Hannah]_233-mary , "_{[177-st. john]} said [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , at last , " let [her]_233-mary sit there at present , and ask [her]_233-mary no questions ; in ten minutes more , give [her]_233-mary the remainder of that milk and bread . [Mary]_233-mary and [Diana]_400-diana , let [us]_{3336-all three} go into [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} and talk the matter over . "_{[177-st. john]} [They]_{3336-all three} withdrew . Very soon [one of [the ladies]_{1885-the ladies}]_{5857-one of the ladies} returned - [I]_0-i could not tell which . A kind of pleasant stupor was stealing over [me]_0-i as [I]_0-i sat by the genial fire . In an undertone [she]_{5857-one of the ladies} gave some directions to [Hannah]_233-mary . Ere long , with [the servant]_{4539-the servant} 's aid , [I]_0-i contrived to mount [a staircase]_{3341-a staircase} ; [my]_0-i dripping clothes were removed ; soon a warm , dry bed received [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i thanked [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} - experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a glow of grateful joy - and slept . CHAPTER XXIX The recollection of about three days and nights succeeding this is very dim in [my]_0-i mind . [I]_0-i can recall some sensations felt in that interval ; but few thoughts framed , and no actions performed . [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i was in [a small room]_{3342-a small room} and in a narrow bed . To that bed [I]_0-i seemed to have grown ; [I]_0-i lay on it motionless as a stone ; and to have torn [me]_0-i from it would have been almost to kill [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i took no note of the lapse of time - of the change from morning to noon , from noon to evening . [I]_0-i observed when [any one]_{591-any one} entered or left [the apartment]_{560-the apartment} : [I]_0-i could even tell who [they]_{591-any one} were ; [I]_0-i could understand what was said when [the speaker]_{2916-the speaker} stood near to [me]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i could not answer ; to open [my]_0-i lips or move [my]_0-i limbs was equally impossible . [Hannah]_233-mary , [the servant]_{4539-the servant} , was [[my]_0-i most frequent visitor]_{3347-my most frequent visitor} . [Her]_233-mary coming disturbed [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had a feeling that [she]_233-mary wished [me]_0-i away : that [she]_233-mary did not understand [me]_0-i or [my]_0-i circumstances ; that [she]_233-mary was prejudiced against [me]_0-i . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary appeared in [the chamber]_{4856-the chamber} once or twice a day . [They]_3349-i would whisper sentences of this sort at [my]_0-i bedside - " It is very well [we]_3349-i took [her]_233-mary in . "_[3349-i] " Yes ; [she]_233-mary would certainly have been found dead at the door in the morning had [she]_233-mary been left out all night . [I]_3349-i wonder what [she]_233-mary has gone through ? "_[3349-i] " Strange hardships , [I]_3349-i imagine - [poor , emaciated , pallid wanderer]_{6927-poor , emaciated , pallid wanderer} ? "_[3349-i] " [She]_233-mary is not [an uneducated person]_{6928-an uneducated person} , [I]_3349-i should think , by [her]_233-mary manner of speaking ; [her]_233-mary accent was quite pure ; and the clothes [she]_233-mary took off , though splashed and wet , were little worn and fine . "_[3349-i] " [She]_233-mary has a peculiar face ; fleshless and haggard as it is , [I]_3349-i rather like it ; and when in good health and animated , [I]_3349-i can fancy [her]_233-mary physiognomy would be agreeable . "_[3349-i] Never once in [their]_3349-i dialogues did [I]_0-i hear a syllable of regret at the hospitality [they]_3349-i had extended to [me]_0-i , or of suspicion of , or aversion to , [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i was comforted . [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} came but once : [he]_{177-st. john} looked at [me]_0-i , and said [my]_0-i state of lethargy was the result of reaction from excessive and protracted fatigue . [He]_{177-st. john} pronounced it needless to send for [a doctor]_{3350-a doctor} : [nature]_3351-nature , [he]_{177-st. john} was sure , would manage best , left to [herself]_3351-nature . [He]_{177-st. john} said every nerve had been overstrained in some way , and the whole system must sleep torpid a while . There was no disease . [He]_{177-st. john} imagined [my]_0-i recovery would be rapid enough when once commenced . These opinions [he]_{177-st. john} delivered in a few words , in a quiet , low voice ; and added , after a pause , in the tone of [a man little accustomed to expansive comment]_{3352-a man little accustomed to expansive comment} , " Rather an unusual physiognomy ; certainly , not indicative of vulgarity or degradation . "_{[177-st. john]} " Far otherwise , "_[400-diana] responded [Diana]_400-diana . " To speak truth , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [my]_400-diana heart rather warms to [the poor little soul]_{6929-the poor little soul} . [I]_400-diana wish [we]_6930-we may be able to benefit [her]_{6929-the poor little soul} permanently . "_[400-diana] " That is hardly likely , "_{[177-st. john]} was the reply . " [You]_{177-st. john} will find [she]_{6929-the poor little soul} is [some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with [[her]_{6929-the poor little soul} friends]_{715-her friends} , and has probably injudiciously left [them]_{715-her friends}]_{6931-some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with her friends , and has probably injudiciously left them} . [We]_6930-we may , perhaps , succeed in restoring [her]_{6929-the poor little soul} to [them]_{715-her friends} , if [she]_{6929-the poor little soul} is not obstinate : but [I]_3353-i trace lines of force in [her]_{6929-the poor little soul} face which make [me]_3353-i sceptical of [her]_{6929-the poor little soul} tractability . "_[3353-i] [He]_3353-i stood considering [me]_0-i some minutes ; then added , " [She]_{6929-the poor little soul} looks sensible , but not at all handsome . "_[3353-i] " [She]_{6929-the poor little soul} is so ill , [St. John]_{177-st. john} . "_[3353-i] " Ill or well , [she]_{6929-the poor little soul} would always be plain . The grace and harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features . "_[3353-i] On the third day [I]_0-i was better ; on the fourth , [I]_0-i could speak , move , rise in bed , and turn . [Hannah]_233-mary had brought [me]_0-i some gruel and dry toast , about , as [I]_0-i supposed , the dinner - hour . [I]_0-i had eaten with relish : the food was good - void of the feverish flavour which had hitherto poisoned what [I]_0-i had swallowed . When [she]_233-mary left [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i felt comparatively strong and revived : ere long satiety of repose and desire for action stirred [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i wished to rise ; but what could [I]_0-i put on ? Only [my]_0-i damp and bemired apparel ; in which [I]_0-i had slept on the ground and fallen in [the marsh]_{6868-the marsh} . [I]_0-i felt ashamed to appear before [[my]_0-i benefactors]_{3355-my benefactors} so clad . [I]_0-i was spared the humiliation . On a chair by the bedside were all [my]_0-i own things , clean and dry . [My]_0-i black silk frock hung against the wall . The traces of the bog were removed from it ; the creases left by the wet smoothed out : it was quite decent . [My]_0-i very shoes and stockings were purified and rendered presentable . There were the means of washing in [the room]_{535-the room} , and a comb and brush to smooth [my]_0-i hair . After a weary process , and resting every five minutes , [I]_0-i succeeded in dressing [myself]_0-i . [My]_0-i clothes hung loose on [me]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i was much wasted , but [I]_0-i covered deficiencies with a shawl , and once more , clean and respectable looking - no speck of the dirt , no trace of the disorder [I]_0-i so hated , and which seemed so to degrade [me]_0-i , left - [I]_0-i crept down a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters , to a narrow low passage , and found [my]_0-i way presently to [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} . [It]_{658-the kitchen} was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth of a generous fire . [Hannah]_233-mary was baking . Prejudices , it is well known , are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education : they grow there , firm as weeds among stones . [Hannah]_233-mary had been cold and stiff , indeed , at the first : latterly [she]_233-mary had begun to relent a little ; and when [she]_233-mary saw [me]_0-i come in tidy and well - dressed , [she]_233-mary even smiled . " What , [you]_0-i have got up ! "_[233-mary] [she]_233-mary said . " [You]_0-i are better , then . [You]_0-i may sit [you]_0-i down in [my]_233-mary chair on the hearthstone , if [you]_0-i will . "_[233-mary] [She]_233-mary pointed to the rocking - chair : [I]_0-i took it . [She]_233-mary bustled about , examining [me]_0-i every now and then with the corner of [her]_233-mary eye . Turning to [me]_0-i , as [she]_233-mary took some loaves from the oven , [she]_233-mary asked bluntly - " Did [you]_0-i ever go a - begging afore [you]_0-i came [here]_4312-here ? "_[233-mary] [I]_0-i was indignant for a moment ; but remembering that anger was out of the question , and that [I]_0-i had indeed appeared as [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} to [her]_233-mary , [I]_0-i answered quietly , but still not without a certain marked firmness - " [You]_0-i are mistaken in supposing [me]_0-i [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} . [I]_0-i am [no beggar]_{6935-no beggar} ; any more than [yourself]_0-i or [[your]_0-i young ladies]_{6936-your young ladies} . "_[0-i] After a pause [she]_233-mary said , " [I]_233-mary dunnut understand that : [you]_0-i 've like [no house]_{6937-no house} , nor no brass , [I]_233-mary guess ? "_[233-mary] " The want of [house]_6938-house or brass by which [I]_0-i suppose [you]_0-i mean money does not make [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} in [your]_0-i sense of the word . "_[0-i] " Are [you]_0-i book - learned ? "_[233-mary] [she]_233-mary inquired presently . " Yes , very . "_[233-mary] " But [you]_0-i 've never been to [a boarding - school]_{6940-a boarding - school} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_233-mary was at [a boarding - school]_{6940-a boarding - school} eight years . "_[233-mary] [She]_233-mary opened [her]_233-mary eyes wide . " Whatever can not [ye]_0-i keep [yourself]_0-i for , then ? "_[233-mary] " [I]_0-i have kept [myself]_0-i ; and , [I]_0-i trust , shall keep [myself]_0-i again . What are [you]_233-mary going to do with these gooseberries ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i inquired , as [she]_233-mary brought out a basket of the fruit . " Mak ' 'em into pies . "_[233-mary] " Give them to [me]_233-mary and [I]_233-mary 'll pick them . "_[233-mary] " Nay ; [I]_233-mary dunnut want [ye]_0-i to do nought . "_[233-mary] " But [I]_233-mary must do something . Let [me]_233-mary have them . "_[233-mary] [She]_233-mary consented ; and [she]_233-mary even brought [me]_0-i a clean towel to spread over [my]_0-i dress , " lest , "_[233-mary] as [she]_233-mary said , " [I]_233-mary should mucky it . "_[233-mary] " Ye've not been used to sarvant 's wark , [I]_233-mary see by [your]_0-i hands , "_[233-mary] [she]_233-mary remarked . " Happen [ye've]_0-i been [a dressmaker]_{6942-a dressmaker} ? "_[233-mary] " No , [you]_0-i are wrong . And now , never mind what [I]_233-mary have been : do n't trouble [your]_0-i head further about [me]_233-mary ; but tell [me]_233-mary the name of [the house where [we]_6944-we are]_{6943-the house where we are} . "_[233-mary] " Some calls [it]_{6943-the house where we are} [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} , and [some]_1182-some calls [it]_{6943-the house where we are} [Moor House]_{104-moor house} . "_[233-mary] " And [the gentleman who lives here]_{6946-the gentleman who lives here} is called [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} ? "_[233-mary] " Nay ; [he]_3359-he does n't live [here]_4312-here : [he]_3359-he is only staying a while . When [he]_3359-he is at [home]_509-home , [he]_3359-he is in [[his]_3359-he own parish]_{6949-his own parish} at [Morton]_105-morton . "_[233-mary] " [That village]_{6950-that village} a few miles off ? "_[233-mary] Aye . " "_[233-mary] And what is [he]_3359-he ? " "_[3359-he] [He]_3359-he is [a parson]_{5186-a parson} . " [I]_{5186-a parson} remembered the answer of [the old housekeeper at [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage}]_{6951-the old housekeeper at the parsonage} , when [I]_{5186-a parson} had asked to see [the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} . "_{[5186-a parson]} This , then , was [[[his]_3359-he father]_{5218-his father} 's residence]_{3362-his father 's residence} ? " "_{[5218-his father]} Aye ; [old Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} lived [here]_4312-here , and [[his]_3359-he father]_{5218-his father} , and [grandfather]_{3365-grandfather} , and [gurt great grandfather]_{3366-gurt great grandfather} afore [him]_3359-he . " "_{[177-st. john]} The name , then , of [that gentleman]_{1052-that gentleman} , is [Mr. St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} ? " "_{[177-st. john]} Aye ; [St. John]_{177-st. john} is like [his]_3359-he kirstened name . " "_[3359-he] And [[his]_3359-he sisters]_{4311-his sisters} are called [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary Rivers]_407-mary ? " "_[407-mary] Yes . " "_[407-mary] [[Their]_{4311-his sisters} father]_{3369-their father} is dead ? " "_{[3369-their father]} Dead three weeks sin ' of a stroke . " "_{[3369-their father]} [They]_{4311-his sisters} have [no mother]_{3370-no mother} ? " "_{[5991-the mistress]} [The mistress]_{5991-the mistress} has been dead this mony a year . " "_{[5991-the mistress]} Have [you]_{1052-that gentleman} lived with [the family]_{5088-the family} long ? " "_{[1052-that gentleman]} [I]_0-i 've lived [here]_4312-here thirty year . [I]_0-i nursed [them]_{5088-the family} all three . " "_[0-i] That proves [you]_{1052-that gentleman} must have been [an honest and faithful servant]_{3374-an honest and faithful servant} . [I]_0-i will say so much for [you]_{1052-that gentleman} , though [you]_{1052-that gentleman} have had the incivility to call [me]_0-i [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} . " [She]_{1052-that gentleman} again regarded [me]_{1052-that gentleman} with a surprised stare . "_{[1052-that gentleman]} [I]_0-i believe , " [she]_{1052-that gentleman} said , "_{[1052-that gentleman]} [I]_0-i was quite mista'en in [my]_0-i thoughts of [you]_{1052-that gentleman} : but there is so mony cheats goes about , [you]_{1052-that gentleman} mun forgie [me]_0-i . " "_{[1052-that gentleman]} And though , " [I]_{1052-that gentleman} continued , rather severely , "_{[1052-that gentleman]} [you]_{1052-that gentleman} wished to turn [me]_0-i from the door , on a night when [you]_{1052-that gentleman} should not have shut out a dog . " "_{[1052-that gentleman]} Well , it was hard : but what can a body do ? [I]_0-i thought more o ' [th ' childer]_{3376-th ' childer} nor of [mysel]_3377-mysel : poor things ! [They]_3378-they 've like [nobody]_4628-nobody to tak ' care on ['em]_3380-'em but [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i 'm like to look sharpish . " [I]_0-i maintained a grave silence for some minutes . "_[0-i] [You]_{1052-that gentleman} munnut think too hardly of [me]_0-i , " [she]_{1052-that gentleman} again remarked . "_{[1052-that gentleman]} But [I]_0-i do think hardly of [you]_{1052-that gentleman} , " [I]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i 'll tell [you]_{1052-that gentleman} why - not so much because [you]_{1052-that gentleman} refused to give [me]_0-i shelter , or regarded [me]_0-i as [an impostor]_{3381-an impostor} , as because [you]_{1052-that gentleman} just now made it a species of reproach that [I]_0-i had no ' brass ' and [no house]_{6937-no house} . [Some of the best people that ever lived]_{3383-some of the best people that ever lived} have been as destitute as [I]_0-i am ; and if [you]_{1052-that gentleman} are [a Christian]_{6270-a christian} , [you]_{1052-that gentleman} ought not to consider poverty a crime . " "_[0-i] No more [I]_0-i ought , " said [she]_{1052-that gentleman} : "_[0-i] [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} tells [me]_0-i so too ; and [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i wor wrang - but [I]_0-i 've clear a different notion on [you]_{1052-that gentleman} now to what [I]_0-i had . [You]_{1052-that gentleman} look a raight down [dacent little crater]_{3385-dacent little crater} . " "_{[1052-that gentleman]} That will do - [I]_0-i forgive [you]_{1052-that gentleman} now . Shake hands . " [She]_{1052-that gentleman} put [her]_{1052-that gentleman} floury and horny hand into [mine]_{1052-that gentleman} ; another and heartier smile illumined [her]_{1052-that gentleman} rough face , and from that moment [we]_6954-we were [friends]_1114-friends . [Hannah]_233-mary was evidently fond of talking . While [I]_{3386-the childer} picked the fruit , and [she]_{1052-that gentleman} made the paste for the pies , [she]_{1052-that gentleman} proceeded to give [me]_{3386-the childer} sundry details about [[her]_{1052-that gentleman} deceased master]_{6956-her deceased master} and [mistress]_{6957-mistress} , and "_{[3386-the childer]} [the childer]_{3386-the childer} , " as [she]_{1052-that gentleman} called [the young people]_{6958-the young people} . [Old Mr. Rivers]_{408-old mr. rivers} , [she]_{1052-that gentleman} said , was [a plain man]_{6959-a plain man} enough , but [a gentleman , and of as ancient a family as could be found]_{6960-a gentleman , and of as ancient a family as could be found} . [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} had belonged to [the Rivers]_{408-old mr. rivers} ever since [it]_3387-it was [a house]_{4534-a house} : and [it]_3387-it was , [she]_{1052-that gentleman} affirmed , "_{[3386-the childer]} aboon two hundred year old - for all [it]_3387-it looked but [a small , humble place]_{3388-a small , humble place} , naught to compare wi ' [[Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} 's grand hall]_{3389-mr. oliver 's grand hall} down [i]_0-i ' [Morton Vale]_{106-morton vale} . But [she]_3390-she could remember [[Bill Oliver]_{409-bill oliver} 's father]_{3391-bill oliver 's father} a [journeyman needlemaker]_{3392-journeyman needlemaker} ; and th ' [Rivers]_{177-st. john} wor gentry [i]_0-i ' th ' owd days o ' [th ' Henrys]_{3393-th ' henrys} , as onybody might see by looking into th ' registers [i]_0-i ' [Morton [Church vestry]_{3395-church vestry}]_{3394-morton church vestry} . " Still , [she]_{1052-that gentleman} allowed , "_{[3396-the owd maister]} [the owd maister]_{3396-the owd maister} was like [other folk]_{3397-other folk} - naught mich out o ' t ' common way : stark mad o ' shooting , and farming , and sich like . " [The mistress]_{5991-the mistress} was different . [She]_{5991-the mistress} was [a great reader]_{6963-a great reader} , and studied a deal ; and [the "_[3399-their] bairns]_{6964-the " bairns} " had taken after [her]_{5991-the mistress} . There was nothing like [them]_{6964-the " bairns} in [these parts]_{6965-these parts} , nor ever had been ; [they]_{6964-the " bairns} had liked learning , all three , almost from the time [they]_{6964-the " bairns} could speak ; and [they]_{6964-the " bairns} had always been "_[3399-their] of [a mak ' of [their]_3399-their own]_{3398-a mak ' of their own} . " [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , when [he]_{177-st. john} grew up , would go to college and be [a parson]_{5186-a parson} ; and [the girls]_{890-the girls} , as soon as [they]_{890-the girls} left [school]_537-school , would seek places as [governesses]_{4975-governesses} : for [they]_{890-the girls} had told [her]_{5991-the mistress} [[their]_{890-the girls} father]_{3369-their father} had some years ago lost a great deal of money by [a man [he]_{3369-their father} had trusted turning bankrupt]_{6971-a man he had trusted turning bankrupt} ; and as [he]_{3369-their father} was now not rich enough to give [them]_{890-the girls} fortunes , [they]_{890-the girls} must provide for [themselves]_{890-the girls} . [They]_{890-the girls} had lived very little at [home]_509-home for a long while , and were only come now to stay a few weeks on account of [[their]_{890-the girls} father]_{3369-their father} 's death ; but [they]_{890-the girls} did so like [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} and [Morton]_105-morton , and all [these moors]_{6974-these moors} and [hills about]_{6975-hills about} . [They]_{890-the girls} had been in [London]_31-london , and [many other grand towns]_{6976-many other grand towns} ; but [they]_{890-the girls} always said there was [no place like [home]_509-home]_{6977-no place like home} ; and then [they]_{890-the girls} were so agreeable with [each other]_{724-each other} - never fell out nor "_[3399-their] threaped . " [She]_6980-she did not know where there was such [a family]_{6981-a family} for being united . Having finished [my]_3399-their task of gooseberry picking , [I]_3399-their asked where [the two ladies]_{6915-the two ladies} and [[their]_{6915-the two ladies} brother]_{6916-their brother} were now . "_[3399-their] Gone over to [Morton]_105-morton for a walk ; but [they]_3400-they would be back in half - an - hour to tea . " [They]_3400-they returned within the time [Hannah]_233-mary had allotted [them]_3400-they : [they]_3400-they entered by the kitchen door . [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , when [he]_{177-st. john} saw [me]_3401-you , merely bowed and passed through ; [the two ladies]_{6915-the two ladies} stopped : [Mary]_233-mary , in a few words , kindly and calmly expressed the pleasure [she]_233-mary felt in seeing [me]_3401-you well enough to be able to come down ; [Diana]_400-diana took [my]_3401-you hand : [she]_400-diana shook [her]_400-diana head at [me]_3401-you . "_[3401-you] [You]_3401-you should have waited for [my]_0-i leave to descend , " [she]_400-diana said . "_[3401-you] [You]_3401-you still look very pale - and so thin ! [Poor child]_{3402-poor child} ! - [poor girl]_{3403-poor girl} ! " [Diana]_400-diana had a voice toned , to [my]_{3402-poor child} ear , like the cooing of a dove . [She]_400-diana possessed eyes whose gaze [I]_{3402-poor child} delighted to encounter . [Her]_400-diana whole face seemed to [me]_{3402-poor child} full of charm . [Mary]_233-mary 's countenance was equally intelligent - [her]_233-mary features equally pretty ; but [her]_233-mary expression was more reserved , and [her]_233-mary manners , though gentle , more distant . [Diana]_400-diana looked and spoke with a certain authority : [she]_400-diana had a will , evidently . It was [my]_{3402-poor child} nature to feel pleasure in yielding to an authority supported like [hers]_233-mary , and to bend , where [my]_{3402-poor child} conscience and self - respect permitted , to an active will . "_{[3402-poor child]} And what business have [you]_3401-you [here]_4312-here ? " [she]_233-mary continued . "_{[3402-poor child]} It is not [[your]_3401-you place]_{3405-your place} . [Mary]_233-mary and [I]_0-i sit in [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} sometimes , because at [home]_509-home [we]_3408-we like to be free , even to license - but [you]_3401-you are [a visitor]_{4974-a visitor} , and must go into [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am very well [here]_4312-here . " "_[0-i] Not at all , with [Hannah]_233-mary bustling about and covering [you]_3401-you with flour . " "_[233-mary] Besides , the fire is too hot for [you]_3401-you , " interposed [Mary]_233-mary . "_[233-mary] To be sure , " added [[her]_233-mary sister]_{4922-her sister} . "_[233-mary] Come , [you]_3401-you must be obedient . " And still holding [my]_233-mary hand [she]_{4922-her sister} made [me]_233-mary rise , and led [me]_233-mary into [the inner room]_{2381-the inner room} . "_[233-mary] Sit there , " [she]_{4922-her sister} said , placing [me]_233-mary on the sofa , "_[233-mary] while [we]_3408-we take [our]_3408-we things off and get the tea ready ; it is another privilege [we]_3408-we exercise in [[our]_3408-we little moorland home]_{3412-our little moorland home} - to prepare [our]_3408-we own meals when [we]_3408-we are so inclined , or when [Hannah]_233-mary is baking , brewing , washing , or ironing . " [She]_{4922-her sister} closed the door , leaving [me]_233-mary solus with [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , who sat opposite , a book or newspaper in [his]_{177-st. john} hand . [I]_233-mary examined first , [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} , and then [its occupant]_{1838-its occupant} . [The parlour]_{793-the parlour} was rather [a small room]_{3342-a small room} , very plainly furnished , yet comfortable , because clean and neat . The old - fashioned chairs were very bright , and the walnut - wood table was like a looking - glass . A few strange , antique portraits of [the men]_{6991-the men} and women of other days decorated the stained walls ; a cupboard with glass doors contained some books and an ancient set of china . There was no superfluous ornament in [the room]_{535-the room} - not one modern piece of furniture , save a brace of workboxes and [a lady]_{4932-a lady} 's desk in rosewood , which stood on a side - table : everything - including the carpet and curtains - looked at once well worn and well saved . [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} - sitting as still as one of the dusty pictures on the walls , keeping [his]_{177-st. john} eyes fixed on the page [he]_{177-st. john} perused , and [his]_{177-st. john} lips mutely sealed - was easy enough to examine . Had [he]_{177-st. john} been [a statue]_{6994-a statue} instead of [a man]_{4429-a man} , [he]_{177-st. john} could not have been easier . [He]_{177-st. john} was young - perhaps from twenty - eight to thirty - tall , slender ; [his]_{177-st. john} face riveted the eye ; it was like a Greek face , very pure in outline : quite a straight , classic nose ; quite an Athenian mouth and chin . It is seldom , indeed , [an English face comes so near the antique models]_{6996-an english face comes so near the antique models} as did [his]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} might well be a little shocked at the irregularity of [my]_233-mary lineaments , [his]_{177-st. john} own being so harmonious . [His]_{177-st. john} eyes were large and blue , with brown lashes ; [his]_{177-st. john} high forehead , colourless as ivory , was partially streaked over by careless locks of fair hair . This is a gentle delineation , is it not , [reader]_496-reader ? Yet [he]_{177-st. john} whom it describes scarcely impressed [one]_4415-one with the idea of a gentle , a yielding , an impressible , or even of a placid nature . Quiescent as [he]_{177-st. john} now sat , there was something about [his]_{177-st. john} nostril , [his]_{177-st. john} mouth , [his]_{177-st. john} brow , which , to [my]_233-mary perceptions , indicated elements within either restless , or hard , or eager . [He]_{177-st. john} did not speak to [me]_233-mary one word , nor even direct to [me]_233-mary one glance , till [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} returned . [Diana]_400-diana , as [she]_400-diana passed in and out , in the course of preparing tea , brought [me]_233-mary a little cake , baked on the top of the oven . "_[233-mary] Eat that now , " [she]_400-diana said : "_[233-mary] [you]_3413-you must be hungry . [Hannah]_233-mary says [you]_3413-you have had nothing but some gruel since breakfast . " [I]_233-mary did not refuse it , for [my]_233-mary appetite was awakened and keen . [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} now closed [his]_{177-st. john} book , approached the table , and , as [he]_{177-st. john} took a seat , fixed [his]_{177-st. john} blue pictorial - looking eyes full on [me]_233-mary . There was an unceremonious directness , a searching , decided steadfastness in [his]_{177-st. john} gaze now , which told that intention , and not diffidence , had hitherto kept it averted from [the stranger]_{5632-the stranger} . "_[233-mary] [You]_3413-you are very hungry , " [he]_{177-st. john} said . "_[233-mary] [I]_0-i am , [sir]_4374-sir . " It is [my]_4374-sir way - it always was [my]_4374-sir way , by instinct - ever to meet the brief with brevity , the direct with plainness . "_[4374-sir] It is well for [you]_3413-you that a low fever has forced [you]_3413-you to abstain for the last three days : there would have been danger in yielding to the cravings of [your]_3413-you appetite at first . Now [you]_3413-you may eat , though still not immoderately . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i trust [I]_0-i shall not eat long at [your]_4374-sir expense , [sir]_4374-sir , " was [my]_4374-sir very clumsily - contrived , unpolished answer . "_[4374-sir] No , " [he]_4374-sir said coolly : "_[3413-you] when [you]_3413-you have indicated to [us]_3416-us [the residence of [[your]_3413-you friends]_{6922-your friends}]_{3417-the residence of your friends} , [we]_3416-us can write to [them]_{6922-your friends} , and [you]_3413-you may be restored to [home]_509-home . " "_[0-i] That , [I]_0-i must plainly tell [you]_4374-sir , is out of [my]_0-i power to do ; being absolutely without [home]_509-home and [friends]_1114-friends . " [The three]_{7001-the three} looked at [me]_4374-sir , but not distrustfully ; [I]_4374-sir felt there was no suspicion in [their]_{7001-the three} glances : there was more of curiosity . [I]_4374-sir speak particularly of [the young ladies]_{4509-the young ladies} . [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's eyes , though clear enough in a literal sense , in a figurative one were difficult to fathom . [He]_{177-st. john} seemed to use them rather as instruments to search [other people]_{2855-other people} 's thoughts , than as agents to reveal [his]_{177-st. john} own : the which combination of keenness and reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than to encourage . "_[4374-sir] Do [you]_4374-sir mean to say , " [he]_{177-st. john} asked , "_[4374-sir] that [you]_4374-sir are completely isolated from every connection ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do . Not a tie links [me]_0-i to any living thing : not a claim do [I]_0-i possess to admittance under any roof in [England]_21-england . " "_[0-i] A most singular position at [your]_0-i age ! " Here [I]_0-i saw [his]_{177-st. john} glance directed to [my]_0-i hands , which were folded on the table before [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i wondered what [he]_{177-st. john} sought there : [his]_{177-st. john} words soon explained the quest . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i have never been married ? [You]_0-i are [a spinster]_{3422-a spinster} ? " [Diana]_400-diana laughed . "_{[3422-a spinster]} Why , [she]_3423-she ca n't [he]_0-i above seventeen or eighteen years old , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , " said [she]_400-diana . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i am near nineteen : but [I]_0-i am not married . No . " [I]_{177-st. john} felt a burning glow mount to [my]_{177-st. john} face ; for bitter and agitating recollections were awakened by the allusion to marriage . [They]_7004-they all saw the embarrassment and the emotion . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary relieved [me]_{177-st. john} by turning [their]_7004-they eyes elsewhere than to [my]_{177-st. john} crimsoned visage ; but [the colder and sterner brother]_{7005-the colder and sterner brother} continued to gaze , till the trouble [he]_{7005-the colder and sterner brother} had excited forced out tears as well as colour . "_{[177-st. john]} Where did [you]_0-i last reside ? " [he]_{7005-the colder and sterner brother} now asked . "_{[177-st. john]} [You]_{177-st. john} are too inquisitive , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , " murmured [Mary]_233-mary in a low voice ; but [he]_{7005-the colder and sterner brother} leaned over the table and required an answer by a second firm and piercing look . "_{[177-st. john]} The name of the place where , and of [the person with whom [I]_0-i lived]_{3424-the person with whom i lived} , is [my]_0-i secret , " [I]_0-i replied concisely . "_[0-i] Which , if [you]_{177-st. john} like , [you]_{177-st. john} have , in [my]_0-i opinion , a right to keep , both from [St. John]_{177-st. john} and [every other questioner]_{3425-every other questioner} , " remarked [Diana]_400-diana . "_{[177-st. john]} Yet if [I]_0-i know nothing about [you]_{177-st. john} or [your]_{177-st. john} history , [I]_0-i can not help [you]_{177-st. john} , " [he]_0-i said . "_{[177-st. john]} And [you]_{177-st. john} need help , do [you]_{177-st. john} not ? " "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i need it , and [I]_0-i seek it so far , [sir]_4374-sir , that [some true philanthropist]_{3427-some true philanthropist} will put [me]_0-i in the way of getting work which [I]_0-i can do , and the remuneration for which will keep [me]_0-i , if but in the barest necessaries of life . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know not whether [I]_0-i am [a true philanthropist]_{3428-a true philanthropist} ; yet [I]_0-i am willing to aid [you]_{177-st. john} to the utmost of [my]_0-i power in a purpose so honest . First , then , tell [me]_0-i what [you]_{177-st. john} have been accustomed to do , and what [you]_{177-st. john} CAN do . " [I]_{177-st. john} had now swallowed [my]_{177-st. john} tea . [I]_{177-st. john} was mightily refreshed by the beverage ; as much so as [a giant with wine]_{7006-a giant with wine} : it gave new tone to [my]_{177-st. john} unstrung nerves , and enabled [me]_{177-st. john} to address [this penetrating young judge]_{7007-this penetrating young judge} steadily . "_{[177-st. john]} [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , " [I]_{177-st. john} said , turning to [him]_{177-st. john} , and looking at [him]_{177-st. john} , as [he]_{177-st. john} looked at [me]_{177-st. john} , openly and without diffidence , "_{[177-st. john]} [you]_{177-st. john} and [[your]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4419-your sisters} have done [me]_0-i a great service - [the greatest man]_{3430-the greatest man} can do [his]_{3430-the greatest man} fellow- being ; [you]_{177-st. john} have rescued [me]_0-i , by [your]_{177-st. john} noble hospitality , from death . This benefit conferred gives [you]_{177-st. john} an unlimited claim on [my]_0-i gratitude , and a claim , to a certain extent , on [my]_0-i confidence . [I]_0-i will tell [you]_{177-st. john} as much of the history of [the wanderer [you]_{177-st. john} have harboured]_{3431-the wanderer you have harboured} , as [I]_0-i can tell without compromising [my]_0-i own peace of mind - [my]_0-i own security , moral and physical , and that of [others]_1041-others . " [I]_0-i am [an orphan]_{4580-an orphan} , [the daughter of [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman}]_{7009-the daughter of a clergyman} . [[My]_0-i parents]_{7011-my parents} died before [I]_0-i could know [them]_{7011-my parents} . [I]_0-i was brought up [a dependant]_{7012-a dependant} ; educated in [a charitable institution]_{7013-a charitable institution} . [I]_0-i will even tell [you]_{177-st. john} the name of the establishment , where [I]_0-i passed six years as [a pupil]_{7014-a pupil} , and two as [a teacher]_{4885-a teacher} - [Lowood Orphan Asylum]_{108-lowood orphan asylum} , -shire : [you]_{177-st. john} will have heard of it , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ? - [the Rev. Robert Brocklehurst]_{411-the rev. robert brocklehurst} is [the treasurer]_{7016-the treasurer} . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i have heard of [Mr. Brocklehurst]_{196-mr. brocklehurst} , and [I]_0-i have seen [the school]_{4461-the school} . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i left [Lowood]_25-lowood nearly a year since to become [a private governess]_{7018-a private governess} . [I]_0-i obtained a good situation , and was happy . [This place]_{2979-this place} [I]_0-i was obliged to leave four days before [I]_0-i came [here]_4312-here . The reason of [my]_0-i departure [I]_0-i can not and ought not to explain : it would be useless , dangerous , and would sound incredible . No blame attached to [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i am as free from culpability as [any one of [you]_{177-st. john} three]_{7021-any one of you three} . Miserable [I]_0-i am , and must be for a time ; for the catastrophe which drove [me]_0-i from [a house]_{4534-a house} [I]_0-i had found [a paradise]_{7023-a paradise} was of a strange and direful nature . [I]_0-i observed but two points in planning [my]_0-i departure - speed , secrecy : to secure these , [I]_0-i had to leave behind [me]_0-i everything [I]_0-i possessed except a small parcel ; which , in [my]_0-i hurry and trouble of mind , [I]_0-i forgot to take out of [the coach that brought [me]_0-i to [Whitcross]_99-whitcross]_{7024-the coach that brought me to whitcross} . To [this neighbourhood]_{4594-this neighbourhood} , then , [I]_0-i came , quite destitute . [I]_0-i slept two nights in the open air , and wandered about two days without crossing a threshold : but twice in that space of time did [I]_0-i taste food ; and it was when brought by hunger , exhaustion , and despair almost to the last gasp , that [you]_{177-st. john} , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , forbade [me]_0-i to perish of want at [your]_{177-st. john} door , and took [me]_0-i under the shelter of [[your]_{177-st. john} roof]_{7026-your roof} . [I]_0-i know all [[your]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4419-your sisters} have done for [me]_0-i since - for [I]_0-i have not been insensible during [my]_0-i seeming torpor - and [I]_0-i owe to [their]_{4419-your sisters} spontaneous , genuine , genial compassion as large a debt as to [your]_{177-st. john} evangelical charity . "_[0-i] " Do n't make [her]_3433-her talk any more now , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , "_[400-diana] said [Diana]_400-diana , as [I]_0-i paused ; ' [she]_3433-her is evidently not yet fit for excitement . Come to the sofa and sit down now , [Miss Elliott]_{412-miss elliott} . " [I]_{412-miss elliott} gave an involuntary half start at hearing the alias : [I]_{412-miss elliott} had forgotten [my]_{412-miss elliott} new name . [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , whom nothing seemed to escape , noticed it at once . "_{[412-miss elliott]} [You]_0-i said [your]_0-i name was [Jane Elliott]_{406-jane elliott} ? " [he]_{177-st. john} observed . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did say so ; and it is the name by which [I]_0-i think it expedient to be called at present , but it is not [my]_0-i real name , and when [I]_0-i hear it , it sounds strange to [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [Your]_0-i real name [you]_0-i will not give ? " "_[0-i] No : [I]_0-i fear discovery above all things ; and whatever disclosure would lead to it , [I]_0-i avoid . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are quite right , [I]_0-i am sure , " said [Diana]_400-diana . "_[0-i] Now do , [brother]_6627-brother , let [her]_3435-her be at peace a while . " But when [St. John]_{177-st. john} had mused a few moments [he]_{177-st. john} recommenced as imperturbably and with as much acumen as ever . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i would not like to be long dependent on [our]_3436-our hospitality - [you]_0-i would wish , [I]_0-i see , to dispense as soon as may be with [[my]_0-i sisters]_{3437-my sisters} ' compassion , and , above all , with [my]_0-i CHARITY [I]_0-i am quite sensible of the distinction drawn , nor do [I]_0-i resent it - it is just : [you]_0-i desire to be independent of [us]_3436-our ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do : [I]_0-i have already said so . Show [me]_0-i how to work , or how to seek work : that is all [I]_0-i now ask ; then let [me]_0-i go , if it be but to [the meanest cottage]_{3438-the meanest cottage} ; but till then , allow [me]_0-i to stay here : [I]_0-i dread another essay of the horrors of homeless destitution . " "_[0-i] Indeed [you]_0-i SHALL stay [here]_4312-here , " said [Diana]_400-diana , putting [her]_400-diana white hand on [my]_0-i head . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i SHALL , " repeated [Mary]_233-mary , in the tone of undemonstrative sincerity which seemed natural to [her]_233-mary . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i sisters]_{3437-my sisters} , [you]_0-i see , have a pleasure in keeping [you]_0-i , " said [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , "_{[3437-my sisters]} as [they]_{3437-my sisters} would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half - frozen bird , some wintry wind might have driven through [their]_{3437-my sisters} casement . [I]_0-i feel more inclination to put [you]_0-i in the way of keeping [yourself]_0-i , and shall endeavour to do so ; but observe , [my]_0-i sphere is narrow . [I]_0-i am but [the incumbent of [a poor country parish]_{3442-a poor country parish}]_{3441-the incumbent of a poor country parish} : [my]_0-i aid must be of the humblest sort . And if [you]_0-i are inclined to despise the day of small things , seek some more efficient succour than such as [I]_0-i can offer . " "_[3443-she] [She]_3443-she has already said that [she]_3443-she is willing to do anything honest [she]_3443-she can do , " answered [Diana]_400-diana for [me]_3443-she ; "_[3443-she] and [you]_0-i know , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [she]_3443-she has no choice of [helpers]_3444-helpers : [she]_3443-she is forced to put up with [such crusty people as [you]_0-i]_{3445-such crusty people as you} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will be [a dressmaker]_{6942-a dressmaker} ; [I]_0-i will be [a plain - workwoman]_{3447-a plain - workwoman} ; [I]_0-i will be [a servant]_{4337-a servant} , [a nurse - girl]_{3449-a nurse - girl} , if [I]_0-i can be no better , " [I]_0-i answered . "_[0-i] Right , " said [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , quite coolly . "_[0-i] If such is [your]_0-i spirit , [I]_0-i promise to aid [you]_0-i , in [my]_0-i own time and way . " [He]_{177-st. john} now resumed the book with which [he]_{177-st. john} had been occupied before tea . [I]_0-i soon withdrew , for [I]_0-i had talked as much , and sat up as long , as [my]_0-i present strength would permit . CHAPTER XXX The more [I]_0-i knew of [the inmates of [Moor House]_{104-moor house}]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} , the better [I]_0-i liked [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} . In a few days [I]_0-i had so far recovered [my]_0-i health that [I]_0-i could sit up all day , and walk out sometimes . [I]_0-i could join with [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary in all [their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} occupations ; converse with [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} as much as [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} wished , and aid [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} when and where [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} would allow [me]_0-i . There was a reviving pleasure in this intercourse , of a kind now tasted by [me]_0-i for the first time - the pleasure arising from perfect congeniality of tastes , sentiments , and principles . [I]_0-i liked to read what [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} liked to read : what [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} enjoyed , delighted [me]_0-i ; what [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} approved , [I]_0-i reverenced . [They]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} loved [[their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} sequestered home]_{7029-their sequestered home} . [I]_0-i , too , in [the grey , small , antique structure , with [its]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} low roof]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} , [its]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} latticed casements , [its]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} mouldering walls , [its]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} avenue of aged firs - all grown aslant under the stress of mountain winds ; [[its]_{7030-the grey , small , antique structure , with its low roof} garden]_{1190-its garden} , dark with yew and holly - and where no flowers but of the hardiest species would bloom - found a charm both potent and permanent . [They]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} clung to the purple moors behind and around [[their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} dwelling]_{7032-their dwelling} - to [the hollow vale into which the pebbly bridle - path leading from [their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} gate]_{7033-the hollow vale into which the pebbly bridle - path leading from their gate} descended , and which wound between fern - banks first , and then amongst a few of the wildest little pasture - fields that ever bordered [a wilderness of heath]_{7034-a wilderness of heath} , or gave sustenance to a flock of grey moorland sheep , with [their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} little mossy - faced lambs:- [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} clung to this scene , [I]_0-i say , with a perfect enthusiasm of attachment . [I]_0-i could comprehend the feeling , and share both its strength and truth . [I]_0-i saw the fascination of [the locality]_{7035-the locality} . [I]_0-i felt the consecration of its loneliness : [my]_0-i eye feasted on the outline of swell and sweep - on the wild colouring communicated to ridge and dell by moss , by heath - bell , by flower - sprinkled turf , by brilliant bracken , and mellow granite crag . These details were just to [me]_0-i what they were to [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} - so many pure and sweet sources of pleasure . The strong blast and the soft breeze ; the rough and the halcyon day ; the hours of sunrise and sunset ; the moonlight and the clouded night , developed for [me]_0-i , in [these regions]_{3275-these regions} , the same attraction as for [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} - wound round [my]_0-i faculties the same spell that entranced [theirs]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} . Indoors [we]_7037-we agreed equally well . [They]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} were both more accomplished and better read than [I]_0-i was ; but with eagerness [I]_0-i followed in the path of knowledge [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} had trodden before [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i devoured the books [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} lent [me]_0-i : then it was full satisfaction to discuss with [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} in the evening what [I]_0-i had perused during the day . Thought fitted thought ; opinion met opinion : [we]_7037-we coincided , in short , perfectly . If in [our]_7037-we trio there was [a superior and a leader]_{7038-a superior and a leader} , it was [Diana]_400-diana . Physically , [she]_400-diana far excelled [me]_0-i : [she]_400-diana was handsome ; [she]_400-diana was vigorous . In [her]_400-diana animal spirits there was an affluence of life and certainty of flow , such as excited [my]_0-i wonder , while it baffled [my]_0-i comprehension . [I]_0-i could talk a while when the evening commenced , but the first gush of vivacity and fluency gone , [I]_0-i was fain to sit on a stool at [Diana]_400-diana 's feet , to rest [my]_0-i head on [her]_400-diana knee , and listen alternately to [her]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary , while [they]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} sounded thoroughly the topic on which [I]_0-i had but touched . [Diana]_400-diana offered to teach [me]_0-i German . [I]_0-i liked to learn of [her]_400-diana : [I]_0-i saw the part of instructress pleased and suited [her]_400-diana ; that of [scholar]_7039-scholar pleased and suited [me]_0-i no less . [Our]_7040-our natures dovetailed : mutual affection - of the strongest kind - was the result . [They]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} discovered [I]_0-i could draw : [their]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} pencils and colour - boxes were immediately at [my]_0-i service . [My]_0-i skill , greater in this one point than theirs , surprised and charmed [them]_{7028-the inmates of moor house} . [Mary]_233-mary would sit and watch [me]_0-i by the hour together : then [she]_233-mary would take lessons ; and [a docile , intelligent , assiduous pupil]_{7041-a docile , intelligent , assiduous pupil} [she]_233-mary made . Thus occupied , and mutually entertained , days passed like hours , and weeks like days . As to [Mr. St John]_{413-mr. st john} , the intimacy which had arisen so naturally and rapidly between [me]_0-i and [[his]_{413-mr. st john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} did not extend to [him]_{413-mr. st john} . One reason of the distance yet observed between [us]_7040-our was , that [he]_{413-mr. st john} was comparatively seldom at [home]_509-home : a large proportion of [his]_{413-mr. st john} time appeared devoted to visiting [the sick]_{1203-the sick} and poor among [the scattered population of [[his]_{413-mr. st john} parish]_{7046-his parish}]_{7045-the scattered population of his parish} . No weather seemed to hinder [him]_{413-mr. st john} in these pastoral excursions : rain or fair , [he]_{413-mr. st john} would , when [his]_{413-mr. st john} hours of morning study were over , take [his]_{413-mr. st john} hat , and , followed by [[his]_{413-mr. st john} father]_{5218-his father} 's old pointer , [Carlo]_414-carlo , go out on [his]_{413-mr. st john} mission of love or duty - [I]_0-i scarcely know in which light [he]_{413-mr. st john} regarded it . Sometimes , when the day was very unfavourable , [[his]_{413-mr. st john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} would expostulate . [He]_{413-mr. st john} would then say , with a peculiar smile , more solemn than cheerful - "_[0-i] And if [I]_0-i let a gust of wind or a sprinkling of rain turn [me]_0-i aside from these easy tasks , what preparation would such sloth be for the future [I]_0-i propose to [myself]_0-i ? " [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary 's general answer to this question was a sigh , and some minutes of apparently mournful meditation . But besides [his]_{413-mr. st john} frequent absences , there was another barrier to friendship with [him]_{413-mr. st john} : [he]_{413-mr. st john} seemed of a reserved , [an abstracted , and even of a brooding nature]_{7049-an abstracted , and even of a brooding nature} . Zealous in [his]_{413-mr. st john} ministerial labours , blameless in [his]_{413-mr. st john} life and habits , [he]_{413-mr. st john} yet did not appear to enjoy that mental serenity , that inward content , which should be the reward of [every sincere Christian and practical philanthropist]_{7050-every sincere christian and practical philanthropist} . Often , of an evening , when [he]_{413-mr. st john} sat at the window , [his]_{413-mr. st john} desk and papers before [him]_{413-mr. st john} , [he]_{413-mr. st john} would cease reading or writing , rest [his]_{413-mr. st john} chin on [his]_{413-mr. st john} hand , and deliver [himself]_{413-mr. st john} up to [I]_3450-i know not what course of thought ; but that it was perturbed and exciting might be seen in the frequent flash and changeful dilation of [his]_{413-mr. st john} eye . [I]_3450-i think , moreover , that Nature was not to [him]_{413-mr. st john} that treasury of delight it was to [[his]_{413-mr. st john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} . [He]_{413-mr. st john} expressed once , and but once in [my]_3450-i hearing , a strong sense of the rugged charm of [the hills]_{7052-the hills} , and an inborn affection for the dark roof and hoary walls [he]_{413-mr. st john} called [[his]_{413-mr. st john} home]_{7053-his home} ; but there was more of gloom than pleasure in the tone and words in which the sentiment was manifested ; and never did [he]_{413-mr. st john} seem to roam [the moors]_{7054-the moors} for the sake of [their]_{7054-the moors} soothing silence - never seek out or dwell upon the thousand peaceful delights [they]_{7054-the moors} could yield . Incommunicative as [he]_{413-mr. st john} was , some time elapsed before [I]_3450-i had an opportunity of gauging [his]_{413-mr. st john} mind . [I]_3450-i first got an idea of its calibre when [I]_3450-i heard [him]_{413-mr. st john} preach in [[his]_{413-mr. st john} own church]_{7055-his own church} at [Morton]_105-morton . [I]_3450-i wish [I]_3450-i could describe that sermon : but it is past [my]_3450-i power . [I]_3450-i can not even render faithfully the effect it produced on [me]_3450-i . It began calm - and indeed , as far as delivery and pitch of voice went , it was calm to the end : an earnestly felt , yet strictly restrained zeal breathed soon in the distinct accents , and prompted the nervous language . This grew to force - compressed , condensed , controlled . The heart was thrilled , the mind astonished , by the power of [the preacher]_{7056-the preacher} : neither were softened . Throughout there was a strange bitterness ; an absence of consolatory gentleness ; stern allusions to Calvinistic doctrines - election , predestination , reprobation - were frequent ; and each reference to these points sounded like a sentence pronounced for doom . When [he]_{413-mr. st john} had done , instead of feeling better , calmer , more enlightened by [his]_{413-mr. st john} discourse , [I]_3450-i experienced an inexpressible sadness ; for it seemed to [me]_3450-i - [I]_3450-i know not whether equally so to [others]_1041-others - that the eloquence to which [I]_3450-i had been listening had sprung from a depth where lay turbid dregs of disappointment - where moved troubling impulses of insatiate yearnings and disquieting aspirations . [I]_3450-i was sure [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} - pure - lived , conscientious , zealous as [he]_{177-st. john} was - had not yet found that peace of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} which passeth all understanding : [he]_{177-st. john} had no more found it , [I]_3450-i thought , than had [I]_3450-i with [my]_3450-i concealed and racking regrets for [my]_3450-i broken idol and lost elysium - regrets to which [I]_3450-i have latterly avoided referring , but which possessed [me]_3450-i and tyrannised over [me]_3450-i ruthlessly . Meantime a month was gone . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary were soon to leave [Moor House]_{104-moor house} , and return to the far different life and scene which awaited [them]_7058-their , as governesses in [a large , fashionable , south - of - [England city]_{7060-england city}]_{7059-a large , fashionable , south - of - england city} , where [each]_898-each held a situation in [families by whose wealthy and haughty members [they]_7058-their were regarded only as [humble dependants]_{7063-humble dependants} , and who neither knew nor sought out [their]_7058-their innate excellences , and appreciated only [their]_7058-their acquired accomplishments as [they]_7058-their appreciated the skill of [[their]_7058-their cook]_{7064-their cook} or the taste of [[their]_7058-their waiting - woman]_{7065-their waiting - woman}]_{7062-families by whose wealthy and haughty members they were regarded only as humble dependants , and who neither knew nor sought out their innate excellences , and appreciated only their acquired accomplishments as they appreciated the skill of their cook or the taste of their waiting - woman} . [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} had said nothing to [me]_3450-i yet about the employment [he]_{177-st. john} had promised to obtain for [me]_3450-i ; yet it became urgent that [I]_3450-i should have a vocation of some kind . One morning , being left alone with [him]_{177-st. john} a few minutes in [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} , [I]_3450-i ventured to approach the window - recess - which [his]_{177-st. john} table , chair , and desk consecrated as a kind of study - and [I]_3450-i was going to speak , though not very well knowing in what words to frame [my]_3450-i inquiry - for it is at all times difficult to break the ice of reserve glassing over such natures as [his]_{177-st. john} - when [he]_{177-st. john} saved [me]_3450-i the trouble by being the first to commence a dialogue . Looking up as [I]_3450-i drew near - "_[3450-i] [You]_3450-i have a question to ask of [me]_0-i ? " [he]_{177-st. john} said . "_[3450-i] Yes ; [I]_0-i wish to know whether [you]_3450-i have heard of any service [I]_0-i can offer [myself]_0-i to undertake ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i found or devised something for [you]_3450-i three weeks ago ; but as [you]_3450-i seemed both useful and happy here - as [[my]_0-i sisters]_{3437-my sisters} had evidently become attached to [you]_3450-i , and [[your]_3450-i society]_{3452-your society} gave [them]_{3437-my sisters} unusual pleasure - [I]_0-i deemed it inexpedient to break in on [your]_3450-i mutual comfort till [their]_{3437-my sisters} approaching departure from [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} should render [yours]_3450-i necessary . " "_[0-i] And [they]_{3437-my sisters} will go in three days now ? " [I]_{3437-my sisters} said . "_{[3437-my sisters]} Yes ; and when [they]_{3437-my sisters} go , [I]_0-i shall return to [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage} at [Morton]_105-morton : [Hannah]_233-mary will accompany [me]_0-i ; and [this old house]_{3454-this old house} will be shut up . " [I]_233-mary waited a few moments , expecting [he]_0-i would go on with the subject first broached : but [he]_0-i seemed to have entered another train of reflection : [his]_0-i look denoted abstraction from [me]_233-mary and [my]_233-mary business . [I]_233-mary was obliged to recall [him]_0-i to a theme which was of necessity one of close and anxious interest to [me]_233-mary . "_[233-mary] What is the employment [you]_0-i had in view , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ? [I]_0-i hope this delay will not have increased the difficulty of securing it . " "_[0-i] Oh , no ; since it is an employment which depends only on [me]_0-i to give , and [you]_0-i to accept . " [He]_0-i again paused : there seemed a reluctance to continue . [I]_0-i grew impatient : a restless movement or two , and an eager and exacting glance fastened on [his]_0-i face , conveyed the feeling to [him]_0-i as effectually as words could have done , and with less trouble . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i need be in no hurry to hear , " [he]_0-i said : "_[0-i] let [me]_0-i frankly tell [you]_0-i , [I]_0-i have nothing eligible or profitable to suggest . Before [I]_0-i explain , recall , if [you]_0-i please , [my]_0-i notice , clearly given , that if [I]_0-i helped [you]_0-i , it must be as [the blind man]_{3455-the blind man} would help [the lame]_{3456-the lame} . [I]_0-i am poor ; for [I]_0-i find that , when [I]_0-i have paid [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} 's debts , all the patrimony remaining to [me]_0-i will be [this crumbling grange]_{3458-this crumbling grange} , the row of scathed firs behind , and [the patch of moorish soil]_{3459-the patch of moorish soil} , with the yew - trees and holly - bushes in front . [I]_0-i am obscure : [Rivers]_{177-st. john} is an old name ; but of [the three sole descendants of the race]_{3460-the three sole descendants of the race} , two earn [the dependant]_{3461-the dependant} 's crust among [strangers]_{1704-strangers} , and [the third]_{1983-the third} considers [himself]_{1983-the third} [an alien from [[his]_{1983-the third} native country]_{3465-his native country}]_{3464-an alien from his native country} - not only for life , but in death . Yes , and deems , and is bound to deem , [himself]_{1983-the third} honoured by [the lot]_{3466-the lot} , and aspires but after the day when the cross of separation from fleshly ties shall be laid on [his]_{1983-the third} shoulders , and when [the Head of [that church]_{6523-that church}]_{3467-the head of that church} - [militant of whose humblest members [he]_{1983-the third} is one]_{3469-militant of whose humblest members he is one} , shall give the word , ' Rise , follow [Me]_0-i ! ' " [St. John]_{177-st. john} said these words as [he]_0-i pronounced [his]_0-i sermons , with a quiet , deep voice ; with an unflushed cheek , and a coruscating radiance of glance . [He]_0-i resumed - "_{[3467-the head of that church]} And since [I]_0-i am [myself]_0-i poor and obscure , [I]_0-i can offer [you]_3470-your but a service of poverty and obscurity . [YOU]_3470-your may even think it degrading - for [I]_0-i see now [your]_3470-your habits have been what [the world]_{484-the world} calls refined : [your]_3470-your tastes lean to the ideal , and [[your]_3470-your society]_{3452-your society} has at least been amongst [the educated]_{3473-the educated} ; but [I]_0-i consider that no service degrades which can better [[our]_3474-our race]_{3475-our race} . [I]_0-i hold that the more arid and unreclaimed [the soil where [the Christian labourer]_{3477-the christian labourer} 's task of tillage]_{3476-the soil where the christian labourer 's task of tillage} is appointed [him]_{3477-the christian labourer} - the scantier the meed [his]_{3477-the christian labourer} toil brings - the higher the honour . [His]_{3477-the christian labourer} , under such circumstances , is the destiny of [the pioneer]_{3478-the pioneer} ; and [the first pioneers of the Gospel]_{3479-the first pioneers of the gospel} were [the Apostles]_{415-the apostles} - [[their]_{415-the apostles} captain]_{3480-their captain} was [Jesus]_416-jesus , [the Redeemer]_{3481-the redeemer} , [Himself]_{3481-the redeemer} . " "_{[3481-the redeemer]} Well ? " [I]_{3481-the redeemer} said , as [he]_0-i again paused - "_{[3481-the redeemer]} proceed . " [He]_0-i looked at [me]_0-i before [he]_0-i proceeded : indeed , [he]_0-i seemed leisurely to read [my]_0-i face , as if its features and lines were characters on a page . The conclusions drawn from this scrutiny [he]_0-i partially expressed in [his]_0-i succeeding observations . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_3482-you will accept the post [I]_0-i offer [you]_3482-you , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] and hold it for a while : not permanently , though : any more than [I]_0-i could permanently keep the narrow and narrowing - [the tranquil , hidden office of [English country]_{3484-english country} incumbent]_{3483-the tranquil , hidden office of english country incumbent} ; for in [your]_3482-you nature is an alloy as detrimental to repose as that in [mine]_0-i , though of a different kind . " "_[3482-you] Do explain , " [I]_0-i urged , when [he]_0-i halted once more . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will ; and [you]_3482-you shall hear how poor the proposal is , - how trivial - how cramping . [I]_0-i shall not stay long at [Morton]_105-morton , now that [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} is dead , and that [I]_0-i am [[my]_0-i own master]_{3486-my own master} . [I]_0-i shall leave [the place]_{1554-the place} probably in the course of a twelve - month ; but while [I]_0-i do stay , [I]_0-i will exert [myself]_0-i to the utmost for its improvement . [Morton]_105-morton , when [I]_0-i came to [it]_105-morton two years ago , had [no school]_{3488-no school} : [the children of [the poor]_{3490-the poor}]_{3489-the children of the poor} were excluded from every hope of progress . [I]_0-i established one for [boys]_1009-boys : [I]_0-i mean now to open [a second school]_{3492-a second school} for [girls]_3493-girls . [I]_0-i have hired [a building for the purpose]_{3494-a building for the purpose} , with [a cottage of two rooms]_{3495-a cottage of two rooms} attached to [it]_{3494-a building for the purpose} for [[the mistress]_{5991-the mistress} 's house]_{3497-the mistress 's house} . [Her]_{5991-the mistress} salary will be thirty pounds a year : [[her]_{5991-the mistress} house]_{1308-her house} is already furnished , very simply , but sufficiently , by the kindness of [a lady]_{4932-a lady} , [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} ; [the only daughter of [the sole rich man in [my]_0-i parish]_{3501-the sole rich man in my parish}]_{3500-the only daughter of the sole rich man in my parish} - [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} , [the proprietor of [a needle - factory]_{3503-a needle - factory} and iron - foundry in [the valley]_{6769-the valley}]_{3502-the proprietor of a needle - factory and iron - foundry in the valley} . [The same lady]_{3505-the same lady} pays for the education and clothing of [an orphan from [the workhouse]_{3507-the workhouse}]_{3506-an orphan from the workhouse} , on condition that [she]_{3505-the same lady} shall aid [the mistress]_{5991-the mistress} in such menial offices connected with [[her]_{3505-the same lady} own house]_{3509-her own house} and [the school]_{4461-the school} as [her]_{3505-the same lady} occupation of teaching will prevent [her]_{3505-the same lady} having time to discharge in person . Will [you]_0-i be [this mistress]_{3511-this mistress} ? " [He]_{399-mr. oliver} put the question rather hurriedly ; [he]_{399-mr. oliver} seemed half to expect an indignant , or at least a disdainful rejection of the offer : not knowing all [my]_0-i thoughts and feelings , though guessing some , [he]_{399-mr. oliver} could not tell in what light [the lot]_{3466-the lot} would appear to [me]_0-i . In truth it was humble - but then it was sheltered , and [I]_0-i wanted [a safe asylum]_{7068-a safe asylum} : it was plodding - but then , compared with that of [a governess in [a rich house]_{7070-a rich house}]_{7069-a governess in a rich house} , it was independent ; and the fear of servitude with [strangers]_{1704-strangers} entered [my]_0-i soul like iron : it was not ignoble - not unworthy - not mentally degrading , [I]_0-i made [my]_0-i decision . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thank [you]_0-i for the proposal , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , and [I]_0-i accept it with all [my]_0-i heart . " "_[0-i] But [you]_{177-st. john} comprehend [me]_0-i ? " [he]_0-i said . "_{[177-st. john]} It is [a village school]_{3512-a village school} : [[your]_{177-st. john} scholars]_{3513-your scholars} will be only [poor girls]_{3514-poor girls} - [[cottagers]_{3515-cottagers} ' children]_{3516-cottagers ' children} - at the best , [farmers ' daughters]_{3517-farmers ' daughters} . Knitting , sewing , reading , writing , ciphering , will be all [you]_{177-st. john} will have to teach . What will [you]_{177-st. john} do with [your]_{177-st. john} accomplishments ? What , with the largest portion of [your]_{177-st. john} mind - sentiments - tastes ? " "_{[177-st. john]} Save [them]_3518-they till [they]_3518-they are wanted . [They]_3518-they will keep . " "_{[177-st. john]} [You]_{177-st. john} know what [you]_{177-st. john} undertake , then ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do . " [He]_{177-st. john} now smiled : and not a bitter or a sad smile , but one well pleased and deeply gratified . "_[0-i] And when will [you]_{177-st. john} commence the exercise of [your]_{177-st. john} function ? " "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i will go to [[my]_0-i house]_{4395-my house} to - morrow , and open [the school]_{4461-the school} , if [you]_{177-st. john} like , next week . " "_[0-i] Very well : so be it . " [He]_{177-st. john} rose and walked through [the room]_{535-the room} . Standing still , [he]_{177-st. john} again looked at [me]_0-i . [He]_{177-st. john} shook [his]_{177-st. john} head . "_[0-i] What do [you]_{177-st. john} disapprove of , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ? " [I]_{177-st. john} asked . "_{[177-st. john]} [You]_{177-st. john} will not stay at [Morton]_105-morton long : no , no ! " "_{[177-st. john]} Why ? What is [your]_{177-st. john} reason for saying so ? " "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i read it in [your]_{177-st. john} eye ; it is not of that description which promises the maintenance of an even tenor in life . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not ambitious . " [He]_{177-st. john} started at the word "_[0-i] ambitious . " [He]_{177-st. john} repeated , "_[0-i] No . What made [you]_{177-st. john} think of ambition ? Who is ambitious ? [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i am : but how did [you]_{177-st. john} find it out ? " "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i was speaking of [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Well , if [you]_{177-st. john} are not ambitious , [you]_{177-st. john} are - " [He]_{177-st. john} paused . "_{[177-st. john]} What ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was going to say , impassioned : but perhaps [you]_{177-st. john} would have misunderstood the word , and been displeased . [I]_0-i mean , that human affections and sympathies have a most powerful hold on [you]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{177-st. john} can not long be content to pass [your]_{177-st. john} leisure in solitude , and to devote [your]_{177-st. john} working hours to a monotonous labour wholly void of stimulus : any more than [I]_0-i can be content , " [he]_0-i added , with emphasis , "_[0-i] to live here buried in [morass]_111-morass , pent in with mountains - [my]_0-i nature , that [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} gave [me]_0-i , contravened ; [my]_0-i faculties , heaven - bestowed , paralysed - made useless . [You]_{177-st. john} hear now how [I]_0-i contradict [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i , who preached contentment with a humble lot , and justified the vocation even of hewers of wood and drawers of water in [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's service - [I]_0-i , [[His]_0-i ordained minister]_{3521-his ordained minister} , almost rave in [my]_0-i restlessness . Well , propensities and principles must be reconciled by some means . " [He]_0-i left [the room]_{535-the room} . In this brief hour [I]_0-i had learnt more of [him]_0-i than in the whole previous month : yet still [he]_0-i puzzled [me]_0-i . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary Rivers]_407-mary became more sad and silent as the day approached for leaving [[their]_7074-they brother]_{6916-their brother} and [[their]_7074-they home]_{7076-their home} . [They]_7074-they both tried to appear as usual ; but the sorrow [they]_7074-they had to struggle against was one that could not be entirely conquered or concealed . [Diana]_400-diana intimated that this would be a different parting from any [they]_7074-they had ever yet known . It would probably , as far as [St. John]_{177-st. john} was concerned , be a parting for years : it might be a parting for life . "_[0-i] [He]_0-i will sacrifice all to [his]_0-i long - framed resolves , " [she]_400-diana said : "_[0-i] natural affection and feelings more potent still . [St. John]_{177-st. john} looks quiet , [Jane]_{406-jane elliott} ; but [he]_{177-st. john} hides a fever in [his]_{177-st. john} vitals . [You]_3522-you would think [him]_{177-st. john} gentle , yet in some things [he]_{177-st. john} is inexorable as death ; and the worst of it is , [my]_0-i conscience will hardly permit [me]_0-i to dissuade [him]_{177-st. john} from [his]_{177-st. john} severe decision : certainly , [I]_0-i can not for a moment blame [him]_{177-st. john} for it . It is right , [noble]_3523-noble , [Christian]_{418-christian} : yet it breaks [my]_0-i heart ! " And the tears gushed to [her]_{406-jane elliott} fine eyes . [Mary]_407-mary bent [her]_407-mary head low over [her]_407-mary work . "_[3524-we] [We]_3524-we are now without [father]_718-father : [we]_3524-we shall soon be without [home]_509-home and [brother]_6627-brother , " [she]_407-mary murmured , At that moment a little accident supervened , which seemed decreed by fate purposely to prove the truth of the adage , that "_[3524-we] misfortunes never come singly , " and to add to [their]_3524-we distresses the vexing one of the slip between the cup and the lip . [St. John]_{177-st. john} passed the window reading a letter . [He]_{177-st. john} entered . "_[3524-we] [[Our]_3524-we uncle]_{3528-our uncle} [John]_{177-st. john} is dead , " said [he]_{177-st. john} . [Both the sisters]_{7077-both the sisters} seemed struck : not shocked or appalled ; the tidings appeared in [their]_{7077-both the sisters} eyes rather momentous than afflicting . "_{[177-st. john]} Dead ? " repeated [Diana]_400-diana . "_[3524-we] Yes . " [She]_400-diana riveted a searching gaze on [[her]_400-diana brother]_{6047-her brother} 's face . "_[3524-we] And what then ? " [she]_400-diana demanded , in a low voice . "_[419-die] What then , [Die]_419-die ? " [he]_{6047-her brother} replied , maintaining a marble immobility of feature . "_[419-die] What then ? Why - nothing . Read . " [He]_{6047-her brother} threw the letter into [her]_400-diana lap . [She]_400-diana glanced over it , and handed it to [Mary]_407-mary . [Mary]_407-mary perused it in silence , and returned it to [[her]_400-diana brother]_{6047-her brother} . [All three]_{3336-all three} looked at [each other]_{724-each other} , and [all three]_{3336-all three} smiled - a dreary , pensive smile enough . "_[419-die] Amen ! [We]_3529-we can yet live , " said [Diana]_400-diana at last . "_[419-die] At any rate , it makes [us]_3529-we no worse off than [we]_3529-we were before , " remarked [Mary]_407-mary . "_[419-die] Only it forces rather strongly on the mind the picture of what MIGHT HAVE BEEN , " said [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , "_[419-die] and contrasts it somewhat too vividly with what IS . " [He]_{177-st. john} folded the letter , locked it in [his]_{177-st. john} desk , and again went out . For some minutes [no one]_{593-no one} spoke . [Diana]_400-diana then turned to [me]_{406-jane elliott} . "_{[406-jane elliott]} [Jane]_{406-jane elliott} , [you]_{406-jane elliott} will wonder at [us]_3529-we and [our]_3529-we mysteries , " [she]_400-diana said , "_{[406-jane elliott]} and think [us]_3529-we [hard - hearted beings]_{3530-hard - hearted beings} not to be more moved at the death of [so near a relation]_{3531-so near a relation} as [an uncle]_{3532-an uncle} ; but [we]_3529-we have never seen [him]_{3532-an uncle} or known [him]_{3532-an uncle} . [He]_{3532-an uncle} was [[[my]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} 's brother]_{613-my mother 's brother} . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} and [he]_{682-my father} quarrelled long ago . It was by [his]_{682-my father} advice that [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} risked most of [his]_{682-my father} property in the speculation that ruined [him]_{682-my father} . Mutual recrimination passed between [them]_3537-them : [they]_3537-them parted in anger , and were never reconciled . [[My]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} engaged afterwards in more prosperous undertakings : it appears [he]_{4421-my uncle} realised a fortune of twenty thousand pounds . [He]_{4421-my uncle} was never married , and had [no near kindred]_{3539-no near kindred} but [ourselves]_{3540-ourselves} and [one other person]_{3541-one other person} , not more closely related than [we]_{3540-ourselves} . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} always cherished the idea that [he]_{682-my father} would atone for [his]_{682-my father} error by leaving [his]_{682-my father} possessions to [us]_{3540-ourselves} ; that letter informs [us]_{3540-ourselves} that [he]_{682-my father} has bequeathed every penny to the other relation , with the exception of thirty guineas , to be divided between [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [Diana]_400-diana , and [Mary Rivers]_407-mary , for the purchase of three mourning rings . [He]_{682-my father} had a right , of course , to do as [he]_{682-my father} pleased : and yet a momentary damp is cast on the spirits by the receipt of such news . [Mary]_407-mary and [I]_0-i would have esteemed [ourselves]_{3540-ourselves} rich with a thousand pounds each ; and to [St. John]_{177-st. john} such a sum would have been valuable , for the good it would have enabled [him]_{177-st. john} to do . " This explanation given , the subject was dropped , and no further reference made to it by either [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} or [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} . The next day [I]_{177-st. john} left [Marsh End]_{101-marsh end} for [Morton]_105-morton . The day after , [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_407-mary quitted it for distant B- . In a week , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} and [Hannah]_233-mary repaired to [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage} : and so [the old grange]_{7086-the old grange} was abandoned . CHAPTER XXXI [[My]_{177-st. john} home]_{2680-my home} , then , when [I]_{177-st. john} at last find [a home]_{4344-a home} , - is [a cottage]_{6848-a cottage} ; [a little room with whitewashed walls and a sanded floor , containing four painted chairs and a table , a clock , a cupboard , with two or three plates and dishes , and a set of tea - things in delf]_{7090-a little room with whitewashed walls and a sanded floor , containing four painted chairs and a table , a clock , a cupboard , with two or three plates and dishes , and a set of tea - things in delf} . Above , [a chamber of the same dimensions as [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers]_{7091-a chamber of the same dimensions as the kitchen , with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers} ; small , yet too large to be filled with [my]_{177-st. john} scanty wardrobe : though the kindness of [[my]_{177-st. john} gentle and generous friends]_{7093-my gentle and generous friends} has increased that , by a modest stock of such things as are necessary . It is evening . [I]_{177-st. john} have dismissed , with the fee of an orange , [the little orphan who serves [me]_{177-st. john} as [a handmaid]_{7095-a handmaid}]_{7094-the little orphan who serves me as a handmaid} . [I]_{177-st. john} am sitting alone on the hearth . This morning , [the village school]_{7096-the village school} opened . [I]_{177-st. john} had [twenty scholars]_{7097-twenty scholars} . But three of the number can read : [none]_914-none write or cipher . Several knit , and a few sew a little . [They]_{7097-twenty scholars} speak with the broadest accent of [the district]_{1384-the district} . At present , [they]_{7097-twenty scholars} and [I]_{177-st. john} have a difficulty in understanding [each other]_{724-each other} 's language . [Some of [them]_{7097-twenty scholars}]_{2057-some of them} are unmannered , rough , intractable , as well as ignorant ; but [others]_1041-others are docile , have a wish to learn , and evince a disposition that pleases [me]_{177-st. john} . [I]_{177-st. john} must not forget that [these coarsely - clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy]_{7103-these coarsely - clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy} ; and that the germs of native excellence , refinement , intelligence , kind feeling , are as likely to exist in [their]_{7097-twenty scholars} hearts as in those of the best - born . [My]_{177-st. john} duty will be to develop these germs : surely [I]_{177-st. john} shall find some happiness in discharging [that office]_{7104-that office} . Much enjoyment [I]_{177-st. john} do not expect in the life opening before [me]_{177-st. john} : yet it will , doubtless , if [I]_{177-st. john} regulate [my]_{177-st. john} mind , and exert [my]_{177-st. john} powers as [I]_{177-st. john} ought , yield [me]_{177-st. john} enough to live on from day to day . Was [I]_{177-st. john} very gleeful , settled , content , during the hours [I]_{177-st. john} passed in [yonder bare , humble schoolroom]_{7105-yonder bare , humble schoolroom} this morning and afternoon ? Not to deceive [myself]_{177-st. john} , [I]_{177-st. john} must reply - No : [I]_{177-st. john} felt desolate to a degree . [I]_{177-st. john} felt - yes , idiot that [I]_{177-st. john} am - [I]_{177-st. john} felt degraded . [I]_{177-st. john} doubted [I]_{177-st. john} had taken a step which sank instead of raising [me]_{177-st. john} in the scale of social existence . [I]_{177-st. john} was weakly dismayed at the ignorance , the poverty , the coarseness of all [I]_{177-st. john} heard and saw round [me]_{177-st. john} . But let [me]_{177-st. john} not hate and despise [myself]_{177-st. john} too much for these feelings ; [I]_{177-st. john} know them to be wrong - that is a great step gained ; [I]_{177-st. john} shall strive to overcome [them]_7106-them . To - morrow , [I]_{177-st. john} trust , [I]_{177-st. john} shall get the better of [them]_7106-them partially ; and in a few weeks , perhaps , [they]_7106-them will be quite subdued . In a few months , it is possible , the happiness of seeing progress , and a change for the better in [[my]_{177-st. john} scholars]_{7107-my scholars} may substitute gratification for disgust . Meantime , let [me]_{177-st. john} ask [myself]_{177-st. john} one question - Which is better ? - To have surrendered to temptation ; listened to passion ; made no painful effort - no struggle ; - but to have sunk down in the silken snare ; fallen asleep on the flowers covering it ; wakened in a southern clime , amongst the luxuries of [a pleasure villa]_{7108-a pleasure villa} : to have been now living in [France]_33-france , [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's mistress]_{7109-mr. rochester 's mistress} ; delirious with [his]_{251-mr. rochester} love half [my]_{177-st. john} time - for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would - oh , yes , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would have loved [me]_{177-st. john} well for a while . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} DID love [me]_{177-st. john} - [no one]_{593-no one} will ever love [me]_{177-st. john} so again . [I]_{177-st. john} shall never more know the sweet homage given to beauty , youth , and grace - for never to [any one else]_{4384-any one else} shall [I]_{177-st. john} seem to possess these charms . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was fond and proud of [me]_{177-st. john} - it is what [no man]_{7112-no man} besides will ever be . - But where am [I]_{177-st. john} wandering , and what am [I]_{177-st. john} saying , and above all , feeling ? Whether is it better , [I]_{177-st. john} ask , to be [a slave in [[a fool]_{1546-a fool} 's paradise at [Marseilles]_{112-marseilles}]_{7115-a fool 's paradise at marseilles}]_{7113-a slave in a fool 's paradise at marseilles} - fevered with delusive bliss one hour - suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the next - or to be a village - [schoolmistress]_{7116-schoolmistress} , free and honest , in [a breezy mountain nook in [the healthy heart of [England]_21-england]_{7118-the healthy heart of england}]_{7117-a breezy mountain nook in the healthy heart of england} ? Yes ; [I]_{177-st. john} feel now that [I]_{177-st. john} was right when [I]_{177-st. john} adhered to principle and law , and scorned and crushed the insane promptings of a frenzied moment . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} directed [me]_{177-st. john} to a correct choice : [I]_{177-st. john} thank [His]_{251-mr. rochester} providence for the guidance ! Having brought [my]_{177-st. john} eventide musings to this point , [I]_{177-st. john} rose , went to [my]_{177-st. john} door , and looked at the sunset of the harvest - day , and at the quiet fields before [[my]_{177-st. john} cottage]_{7119-my cottage} , which , with [the school]_{4461-the school} , was distant half a mile from [the village]_{6777-the village} . The birds were singing their last strains - "_{[177-st. john]} The air was mild , the dew was balm . " While [I]_{177-st. john} looked , [I]_{177-st. john} thought [myself]_{177-st. john} happy , and was surprised to find [myself]_{177-st. john} ere long weeping - and why ? For the doom which had reft [me]_{177-st. john} from adhesion to [[my]_{177-st. john} master]_{4336-my master} : for [him]_{4336-my master} [I]_{177-st. john} was no more to see ; for the desperate grief and fatal fury - consequences of [my]_{177-st. john} departure - which might now , perhaps , be dragging [him]_{4336-my master} from the path of right , too far to leave hope of ultimate restoration thither . At this thought , [I]_{177-st. john} turned [my]_{177-st. john} face aside from the lovely sky of eve and [lonely vale of [Morton]_105-morton]_{7123-lonely vale of morton} - [I]_{177-st. john} say [LONELY]_420-lonely , for in that bend of [it]_7124-it visible to [me]_{177-st. john} there was [no building apparent save [the church]_{6498-the church} and [the parsonage]_{6816-the parsonage}]_{7125-no building apparent save the church and the parsonage} , half - hid in trees , and , quite at the extremity , the roof of [Vale Hall]_{113-vale hall} , where [the rich Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} and [[his]_{399-mr. oliver} daughter]_{7128-his daughter} lived . [I]_{177-st. john} hid [my]_{177-st. john} eyes , and leant [my]_{177-st. john} head against the stone frame of [my]_{177-st. john} door ; but soon a slight noise near the wicket which shut in [[my]_{177-st. john} tiny garden]_{7129-my tiny garden} from [the meadow beyond]_{7130-the meadow beyond} [it]_{7129-my tiny garden} made [me]_{177-st. john} look up . [A dog - old Carlo]_{7131-a dog - old carlo} , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ' pointer , as [I]_{177-st. john} saw in a moment - was pushing the gate with [his]_{7131-a dog - old carlo} nose , and [St. John]_{177-st. john} [himself]_{177-st. john} leant upon it with folded arms ; [his]_{177-st. john} brow knit , [his]_{177-st. john} gaze , grave almost to displeasure , fixed on [me]_{177-st. john} . [I]_{177-st. john} asked [him]_0-i to come in . "_{[177-st. john]} No , [I]_0-i can not stay ; [I]_0-i have only brought [you]_0-i a little parcel [[my]_0-i sisters]_{3437-my sisters} left for [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i think it contains a colour - box , pencils , and paper . " [I]_0-i approached to take it : a welcome gift it was . [He]_0-i examined [my]_0-i face , [I]_0-i thought , with austerity , as [I]_0-i came near : the traces of tears were doubtless very visible upon it . "_[0-i] Have [you]_0-i found [your]_0-i first day 's work harder than [you]_0-i expected ? " [he]_0-i asked . "_[0-i] Oh , no ! On the contrary , [I]_0-i think in time [I]_0-i shall get on with [[my]_0-i scholars]_{7107-my scholars} very well . " "_[0-i] But perhaps [[your]_0-i accommodations]_{3545-your accommodations} - [[your]_0-i cottage]_{3546-your cottage} - [your]_0-i furniture - have disappointed [your]_0-i expectations ? They are , in truth , scanty enough ; but - " [I]_0-i interrupted - "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i cottage]_{7119-my cottage} is clean and weather - proof ; [my]_0-i furniture sufficient and commodious . All [I]_0-i see has made [me]_0-i thankful , not despondent . [I]_0-i am not absolutely such [a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a carpet , a sofa , and silver plate]_{3548-a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a carpet , a sofa , and silver plate} ; besides , five weeks ago [I]_0-i had nothing - [I]_0-i was [an outcast]_{3272-an outcast} , [a beggar]_{6842-a beggar} , [a vagrant]_{3308-a vagrant} ; now [I]_0-i have acquaintance , a [home]_509-home , a business . [I]_0-i wonder at the goodness of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ; the generosity of [[my]_0-i friends]_{3553-my friends} ; the bounty of [[my]_0-i lot]_{3554-my lot} . [I]_0-i do not repine . " "_[0-i] But [you]_0-i feel solitude an oppression ? [The little house there behind [you]_0-i]_{3555-the little house there behind you} is dark and empty . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have hardly had time yet to enjoy a sense of tranquillity , much less to grow impatient under one of loneliness . " "_[0-i] Very well ; [I]_0-i hope [you]_0-i feel the content [you]_0-i express : at any rate , [your]_0-i good sense will tell [you]_0-i that it is too soon yet to yield to the vacillating fears of [[Lot]_421-lot 's wife]_{3556-lot 's wife} . What [you]_0-i had left before [I]_0-i saw [you]_0-i , of course [I]_0-i do not know ; but [I]_0-i counsel [you]_0-i to resist firmly every temptation which would incline [you]_0-i to look back : pursue [your]_0-i present career steadily , for some months at least . " "_[0-i] It is what [I]_0-i mean to do , " [I]_0-i answered . [St. John]_{177-st. john} continued - "_[0-i] It is hard work to control the workings of inclination and turn the bent of nature ; but that it may be done , [I]_0-i know from experience . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} has given [us]_3557-our , in a measure , the power to make [our]_3557-our own fate ; and when [our]_3557-our energies seem to demand a sustenance [they]_3558-they can not get - when [our]_3557-our will strains after a path [we]_3557-our may not follow - [we]_3557-our need neither starve from inanition , nor stand still in despair : [we]_3557-our have but to seek another nourishment for the mind , as strong as the forbidden food it longed to taste - and perhaps purer ; and to hew out for the adventurous foot a road as direct and broad as the one [Fortune]_274-fortune has blocked up against [us]_3557-our , if rougher than it . " A year ago [I]_0-i was [myself]_0-i intensely miserable , because [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i had made a mistake in entering [the ministry]_{7132-the ministry} : its uniform duties wearied [me]_0-i to death . [I]_0-i burnt for the more active life of [the world]_{484-the world} - for the more exciting toils of a literary career - for the destiny of [an artist]_{7134-an artist} , [author , orator]_{7135-author , orator} ; anything rather than that of [a priest]_{7136-a priest} : yes , the heart of [a politician]_{7137-a politician} , of [a soldier]_{7138-a soldier} , of [a votary of glory]_{7139-a votary of glory} , [a lover of renown]_{7140-a lover of renown} , a luster after power , beat under [[my]_0-i curate]_{7141-my curate} 's surplice . [I]_0-i considered ; [my]_0-i life was so wretched , it must be changed , or [I]_0-i must die . After a season of darkness and struggling , light broke and relief fell : [my]_0-i cramped existence all at once spread out to [a plain without bounds]_{7142-a plain without bounds} - [my]_0-i powers heard a call from heaven to rise , gather [their]_7143-their full strength , spread [their]_7143-their wings , and mount beyond ken . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had an errand for [me]_0-i ; to bear which afar , to deliver it well , skill and strength , courage and eloquence , the best qualifications of [soldier]_7144-soldier , [statesman]_{7145-statesman} , and [orator]_7146-orator , were all needed : for these all centre in the good missionary . "_[0-i] A missionary [I]_0-i resolved to be . From that moment [my]_0-i state of mind changed ; the fetters dissolved and dropped from every faculty , leaving nothing of bondage but its galling soreness - which time only can heal . [[My]_0-i father]_{682-my father} , indeed , imposed the determination , but since [his]_{682-my father} death , [I]_0-i have not a legitimate obstacle to contend with ; some affairs settled , a successor for [Morton]_105-morton provided , an entanglement or two of the feelings broken through or cut asunder - a last conflict with human weakness , in which [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i shall overcome , because [I]_0-i have vowed that [I]_0-i WILL overcome - and [I]_0-i leave [Europe]_75-europe for [the East]_{114-the east} . " [He]_{682-my father} said this , in [his]_{682-my father} peculiar , subdued , yet emphatic voice ; looking , when [he]_{682-my father} had ceased speaking , not at [me]_0-i , but at the setting sun , at which [I]_0-i looked too . Both [he]_{682-my father} and [I]_0-i had [our]_7147-we backs towards the path leading up [the field]_{817-the field} to [the wicket]_{2741-the wicket} . [We]_7147-we had heard no step on that grass - grown track ; the water running in [the vale]_{7150-the vale} was the one lulling sound of the hour and scene ; [we]_7147-we might well then start when [a gay voice , sweet as a silver bell]_{7151-a gay voice , sweet as a silver bell} , exclaimed - "_[0-i] Good evening , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} . And good evening , [old Carlo]_414-carlo . [[Your]_{177-st. john} dog]_{3560-your dog} is quicker to recognise [[his]_{3560-your dog} friends]_{3561-his friends} than [you]_{177-st. john} are , [sir]_4374-sir ; [he]_{3560-your dog} pricked [his]_{3560-your dog} ears and wagged [his]_{3560-your dog} tail when [I]_0-i was at the bottom of [the field]_{817-the field} , and [you]_{177-st. john} have [your]_{177-st. john} back towards [me]_0-i now . " It was true . Though [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} had started at the first of those musical accents , as if a thunderbolt had split a cloud over [his]_{177-st. john} head , [he]_{177-st. john} stood yet , at the close of the sentence , in the same attitude in which [the speaker]_{2916-the speaker} had surprised [him]_{177-st. john} - [his]_{177-st. john} arm resting on the gate , [his]_{177-st. john} face directed towards [the west]_{2678-the west} . [He]_{177-st. john} turned at last , with measured deliberation . A vision , as it seemed to [me]_{177-st. john} , had risen at [his]_{177-st. john} side . There appeared , within three feet of [him]_{177-st. john} , a form clad in pure white - a youthful , graceful form : full , yet fine in contour ; and when , after bending to caress [Carlo]_414-carlo , it lifted up its head , and threw back a long veil , there bloomed under [his]_{177-st. john} glance a face of perfect beauty . Perfect beauty is a strong expression ; but [I]_{177-st. john} do not retrace or qualify it : as sweet features as ever the temperate clime of [Albion]_80-albion moulded ; as pure hues of rose and lily as ever [her]_7154-her humid gales and vapoury skies generated and screened , justified , in this instance , the term . No charm was wanting , no defect was perceptible ; [the young girl]_{7155-the young girl} had regular and delicate lineaments ; eyes shaped and coloured as [we]_7156-we see [them]_7157-them in lovely pictures , large , and dark , and full ; the long and shadowy eyelash which encircles a fine eye with so soft a fascination ; the pencilled brow which gives such clearness ; the white smooth forehead , which adds such repose to the livelier beauties of tint and ray ; the cheek oval , fresh , and smooth ; the lips , fresh too , ruddy , healthy , sweetly formed ; the even and gleaming teeth without flaw ; the small dimpled chin ; the ornament of rich , plenteous tresses - all advantages , in short , which , combined , realise the ideal of beauty , were fully [hers]_{7155-the young girl} . [I]_{177-st. john} wondered , as [I]_{177-st. john} looked at [this fair creature]_{7158-this fair creature} : [I]_{177-st. john} admired [her]_{7158-this fair creature} with [my]_{177-st. john} whole heart . Nature had surely formed [her]_{7158-this fair creature} in a partial mood ; and , forgetting [[her]_{7158-this fair creature} usual stinted step - mother]_{7159-her usual stinted step - mother} dole of gifts , had endowed this , [[her]_{7158-this fair creature} darling]_{7160-her darling} , with a grand - dame 's bounty . What did [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} think of [this earthly angel]_{7161-this earthly angel} ? [I]_{177-st. john} naturally asked [myself]_{177-st. john} that question as [I]_{177-st. john} saw [him]_{177-st. john} turn to [her]_3564-you and look at [her]_3564-you ; and , as naturally , [I]_{177-st. john} sought the answer to the inquiry in [his]_{177-st. john} countenance . [He]_{177-st. john} had already withdrawn [his]_{177-st. john} eye from [the Peri]_{422-the peri} , and was looking at a humble tuft of daisies which grew by the wicket . "_{[177-st. john]} A lovely evening , but late for [you]_3564-you to be out alone , " [he]_{177-st. john} said , as [he]_{177-st. john} crushed the snowy heads of the closed flowers with [his]_{177-st. john} foot . "_[423-papa] Oh , [I]_0-i only came [home]_509-home from S- " [she]_3564-you mentioned the name of [a large town]_{7162-a large town} some twenty miles distant "_[423-papa] this afternoon . [Papa]_423-papa told [me]_0-i [you]_3564-you had opened [[your]_3564-you school]_{3566-your school} , and that [the new mistress]_{3567-the new mistress} was come ; and so [I]_0-i put on [my]_0-i bonnet after tea , and ran up [the valley]_{6769-the valley} to see [her]_{3567-the new mistress} : this is [she]_{3567-the new mistress} ? " pointing to [me]_{3567-the new mistress} . "_{[3567-the new mistress]} It is , " said [St. John]_{177-st. john} . "_{[3567-the new mistress]} Do [you]_3564-you think [you]_3564-you shall like [Morton]_105-morton ? " [she]_{3567-the new mistress} asked of [me]_3564-you , with a direct and naive simplicity of tone and manner , pleasing , if child - like . "_[3564-you] [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i shall . [I]_0-i have many inducements to do so . " "_[0-i] Did [you]_3564-you find [[your]_3564-you scholars]_{3513-your scholars} as attentive as [you]_3564-you expected ? " "_[3564-you] Quite . " "_[3564-you] Do [you]_3564-you like [[your]_3564-you house]_{2373-your house} ? " "_[3564-you] Very much . " "_[3564-you] Have [I]_0-i furnished [it]_{2373-your house} nicely ? " "_[0-i] Very nicely , indeed . " "_[0-i] And made a good choice of an attendant for [you]_3564-you in [Alice Wood]_{115-alice wood} ? " "_[3564-you] [You]_3564-you have indeed . [She]_{115-alice wood} is teachable and handy . " This then , [I]_{115-alice wood} thought , is [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} , [the heiress]_{7163-the heiress} ; favoured , it seems , in the gifts of fortune , as well as in those of nature ! What happy combination of the planets presided over [her]_{115-alice wood} birth , [I]_{115-alice wood} wonder ? "_{[115-alice wood]} [I]_0-i shall come up and help [you]_3564-you to teach sometimes , " [she]_{115-alice wood} added . "_[0-i] It will be a change for [me]_0-i to visit [you]_3564-you now and then ; and [I]_0-i like a change . [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i have been SO gay during [my]_0-i stay at [S-]_118-s- . Last night , or rather this morning , [I]_0-i was dancing till two o'clock . [The -th regiment]_{3571-the -th regiment} are stationed [there]_4426-there since the riots ; and [the officers]_{3573-the officers} are [the most agreeable men in [the world]_{484-the world}]_{3574-the most agreeable men in the world} : [they]_{3573-the officers} put all [[our]_3576-our young knife - grinders]_{3577-our young knife - grinders} and [scissor merchants]_{3578-scissor merchants} to shame . " It seemed to [me]_{3573-the officers} that [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} 's under lip protruded , and [his]_{177-st. john} upper lip curled a moment . [His]_{177-st. john} mouth certainly looked a good deal compressed , and the lower part of [his]_{177-st. john} face unusually stern and square , as [the laughing girl]_{7164-the laughing girl} gave [him]_{177-st. john} this information . [He]_{177-st. john} lifted [his]_{177-st. john} gaze , too , from the daisies , and turned it on [her]_{7164-the laughing girl} . An unsmiling , a searching , a meaning gaze it was . [She]_{7164-the laughing girl} answered it with a second laugh , and laughter well became [her]_{7164-the laughing girl} youth , [her]_{7164-the laughing girl} roses , [her]_{7164-the laughing girl} dimples , [her]_{7164-the laughing girl} bright eyes . As [he]_{177-st. john} stood , mute and grave , [she]_{7164-the laughing girl} again fell to caressing [Carlo]_414-carlo . "_{[3573-the officers]} [Poor [Carlo]_414-carlo]_{3579-poor carlo} loves [me]_0-i , " said [she]_{7164-the laughing girl} . "_[414-carlo] [HE]_414-carlo is not stern and distant to [[his]_414-carlo friends]_{3561-his friends} ; and if [he]_414-carlo could speak , [he]_414-carlo would not be silent . " As [she]_{7164-the laughing girl} patted the dog 's head , bending with native grace before [[his]_414-carlo young and austere master]_{7165-his young and austere master} , [I]_423-papa saw a glow rise to [that master]_{7166-that master} 's face . [I]_423-papa saw [his]_{7166-that master} solemn eye melt with sudden fire , and flicker with resistless emotion . Flushed and kindled thus , [he]_{7166-that master} looked nearly as beautiful for [a man]_{4429-a man} as [she]_{7164-the laughing girl} for [a woman]_{4399-a woman} . [His]_{7166-that master} chest heaved once , as if [his]_{7166-that master} large heart , weary of despotic constriction , had expanded , despite the will , and made a vigorous bound for the attainment of liberty . But [he]_{7166-that master} curbed it , [I]_423-papa think , as [a resolute rider]_{7169-a resolute rider} would curb a rearing steed . [He]_{7166-that master} responded neither by word nor movement to the gentle advances made [him]_{7166-that master} . "_[423-papa] [Papa]_423-papa says [you]_423-papa never come to see [us]_3581-us now , " continued [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} , looking up . "_[423-papa] [You]_423-papa are quite [a stranger at [Vale Hall]_{113-vale hall}]_{3582-a stranger at vale hall} . [He]_423-papa is alone this evening , and not very well : will [you]_423-papa return with [me]_0-i and visit [him]_423-papa ? " "_[423-papa] It is not a seasonable hour to intrude on [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} , " answered [St. John]_{177-st. john} . "_{[399-mr. oliver]} Not a seasonable hour ! But [I]_0-i declare it is . It is just the hour when [papa]_423-papa most wants [company]_1938-company : when the works are closed and [he]_423-papa has no business to occupy [him]_423-papa . Now , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , DO come . Why are [you]_{177-st. john} so very shy , and so very sombre ? " [She]_7170-she filled up the hiatus [his]_{177-st. john} silence left by a reply of [her]_7170-she own . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i forgot ! " [she]_7170-she exclaimed , shaking [her]_7170-she beautiful curled head , as if shocked at [herself]_7170-she . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so giddy and thoughtless ! DO excuse [me]_0-i . It had slipped [my]_0-i memory that [you]_{177-st. john} have good reasons to be indisposed for joining in [my]_0-i chatter . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary have left [you]_{177-st. john} , and [Moor House]_{104-moor house} is shut up , and [you]_{177-st. john} are so lonely . [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i pity [you]_{177-st. john} . Do come and see [papa]_4423-papa . " "_[4423-papa] Not to - night , [Miss Rosamond]_{424-miss rosamond} , not to - night . " [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} spoke almost like [an automaton]_{6169-an automaton} : [himself]_{177-st. john} only knew the effort it cost [him]_{177-st. john} thus to refuse . "_{[424-miss rosamond]} Well , if [you]_{177-st. john} are so obstinate , [I]_0-i will leave [you]_{177-st. john} ; for [I]_0-i dare not stay any longer : the dew begins to fall . Good evening ! " [She]_{424-miss rosamond} held out [her]_{424-miss rosamond} hand . [He]_4423-papa just touched it . "_[4423-papa] Good evening ! " [he]_4423-papa repeated , in a voice low and hollow as an echo . [She]_{424-miss rosamond} turned , but in a moment returned . "_[4423-papa] Are [you]_4423-papa well ? " [she]_{424-miss rosamond} asked . Well might [she]_{424-miss rosamond} put the question : [his]_4423-papa face was blanched as [her]_{424-miss rosamond} gown . "_[4423-papa] Quite well , " [he]_4423-papa enunciated ; and , with a bow , [he]_4423-papa left the gate . [She]_{424-miss rosamond} went one way ; [he]_4423-papa another . [She]_{424-miss rosamond} turned twice to gaze after [him]_4423-papa as [she]_{424-miss rosamond} tripped fairy - like down [the field]_{817-the field} ; [he]_4423-papa , as [he]_4423-papa strode firmly across , never turned at all . This spectacle of another 's suffering and sacrifice rapt [my]_4423-papa thoughts from exclusive meditation on [my]_4423-papa own . [Diana Rivers]_400-diana had designated [[her]_{424-miss rosamond} brother]_{6047-her brother} "_[4423-papa] inexorable as death . " [She]_{424-miss rosamond} had not exaggerated . CHAPTER XXXII [I]_4423-papa continued the labours of [the village]_{6777-the village} - school as actively and faithfully as [I]_4423-papa could . It was truly hard work at first . Some time elapsed before , with all [my]_4423-papa efforts , [I]_4423-papa could comprehend [[my]_4423-papa scholars]_{7107-my scholars} and [their]_{7107-my scholars} nature . Wholly untaught , with faculties quite torpid , [they]_{7107-my scholars} seemed to [me]_4423-papa hopelessly dull ; and , at first sight , all dull alike : but [I]_4423-papa soon found [I]_4423-papa was mistaken . There was a difference amongst [them]_{7107-my scholars} as amongst [the educated]_{3473-the educated} ; and when [I]_4423-papa got to know [them]_{7107-my scholars} , and [they]_{7107-my scholars} [me]_4423-papa , this difference rapidly developed itself . [Their]_{7107-my scholars} amazement at [me]_4423-papa , [my]_4423-papa language , [my]_4423-papa rules , and ways , once subsided , [I]_4423-papa found some of [these heavy - looking , gaping rustics]_{7177-these heavy - looking , gaping rustics} wake up into [sharp - witted girls]_{7178-sharp - witted girls} enough . [Many]_7179-many showed [themselves]_7179-many obliging , and amiable too ; and [I]_4423-papa discovered amongst [them]_{7107-my scholars} not a few examples of natural politeness , and innate self - respect , as well as of excellent capacity , that won both [my]_4423-papa goodwill and [my]_4423-papa admiration . [These]_7180-these soon took a pleasure in doing [their]_7180-these work well , in keeping [[their]_7180-these persons]_{2058-their persons} neat , in learning [their]_7180-these tasks regularly , in acquiring quiet and orderly manners . The rapidity of [their]_7180-these progress , in some instances , was even surprising ; and an honest and happy pride [I]_4423-papa took in it : besides , [I]_4423-papa began personally to like [some of [the best girls]_{7183-the best girls}]_{7182-some of the best girls} ; and [they]_{7182-some of the best girls} liked [me]_4423-papa . [I]_4423-papa had amongst [[my]_4423-papa scholars]_{7107-my scholars} [several [farmers]_7186-farmers ' daughters]_{7185-several farmers ' daughters} : [young women]_{935-young women} grown , almost . [These]_7180-these could already read , write , and sew ; and to [them]_7180-these [I]_4423-papa taught the elements of grammar , geography , history , and the finer kinds of needlework . [I]_4423-papa found estimable characters amongst [them]_7180-these - [characters desirous of information and disposed for improvement]_{7189-characters desirous of information and disposed for improvement} - with whom [I]_4423-papa passed many a pleasant evening hour in [[their]_7180-these own homes]_{7190-their own homes} . [[Their]_7180-these parents]_{7191-their parents} then [the farmer]_{6841-the farmer} and [[his]_{6841-the farmer} wife]_{4986-his wife} loaded [me]_4423-papa with attentions . There was an enjoyment in accepting [their]_7180-these simple kindness , and in repaying it by a consideration - a scrupulous regard to [their]_7180-these feelings - to which [they]_7180-these were not , perhaps , at all times accustomed , and which both charmed and benefited [them]_7180-these ; because , while it elevated [them]_7180-these in [their]_7180-these own eyes , it made [them]_7180-these emulous to merit the deferential treatment [they]_7180-these received . [I]_4423-papa felt [I]_4423-papa became a favourite in [the neighbourhood]_{1738-the neighbourhood} . Whenever [I]_4423-papa went out , [I]_4423-papa heard on all sides cordial salutations , and was welcomed with friendly smiles . To live amidst general regard , though it be but the regard of [working people]_{4405-working people} , is like ' sitting in sunshine , calm and sweet ; "_[4423-papa] serene inward feelings bud and bloom under the ray . At this period of [my]_0-i life , [my]_0-i heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness than sank with dejection : and yet , [reader]_496-reader , to tell [you]_496-reader all , in the midst of this calm , this useful existence - after a day passed in honourable exertion amongst [[my]_0-i scholars]_{7107-my scholars} , an evening spent in drawing or reading contentedly alone - [I]_0-i used to rush into strange dreams at night : dreams many - coloured , agitated , full of the ideal , the stirring , the stormy - dreams where , amidst unusual scenes , charged with adventure , with agitating risk and romantic chance , [I]_0-i still again and again met [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , always at some exciting crisis ; and then the sense of being in [his]_{251-mr. rochester} arms , hearing [his]_{251-mr. rochester} voice , meeting [his]_{251-mr. rochester} eye , touching [his]_{251-mr. rochester} hand and cheek , loving [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , being loved by [him]_{251-mr. rochester} - the hope of passing a lifetime at [his]_{251-mr. rochester} side , would be renewed , with all its first force and fire . Then [I]_0-i awoke . Then [I]_0-i recalled where [I]_0-i was , and how situated . Then [I]_0-i rose up on [my]_0-i curtainless bed , trembling and quivering ; and then the still , dark night witnessed the convulsion of despair , and heard the burst of passion . By nine o'clock the next morning [I]_0-i was punctually opening [the school]_{4461-the school} ; tranquil , settled , prepared for the steady duties of the day . [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond kept [her]_425-rosamond word in coming to visit [me]_0-i . [Her]_425-rosamond call at [the school]_{4461-the school} was generally made in the course of [her]_425-rosamond morning ride . [She]_425-rosamond would canter up to the door on [her]_425-rosamond pony , followed by [a mounted livery servant]_{3589-a mounted livery servant} . Anything more exquisite than [her]_425-rosamond appearance , in [her]_425-rosamond purple habit , with [her]_425-rosamond Amazon 's cap of black velvet placed gracefully above the long curls that kissed [her]_425-rosamond cheek and floated to [her]_425-rosamond shoulders , can scarcely be imagined : and it was thus [she]_425-rosamond would enter [the rustic building]_{3590-the rustic building} , and glide through the dazzled ranks of [the village children]_{3591-the village children} . [She]_425-rosamond generally came at the hour when [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} was engaged in giving [his]_{177-st. john} daily catechising lesson . Keenly , [I]_0-i fear , did the eye of [the visitress]_{3592-the visitress} pierce [the young pastor]_{3593-the young pastor} 's heart . A sort of instinct seemed to warn [him]_{3593-the young pastor} of [her]_425-rosamond entrance , even when [he]_{3593-the young pastor} did not see it ; and when [he]_{3593-the young pastor} was looking quite away from the door , if [she]_425-rosamond appeared at it , [his]_{3593-the young pastor} cheek would glow , and [his]_{3593-the young pastor} marble- seeming features , though they refused to relax , changed indescribably , and in [their]_3594-their very quiescence became expressive of a repressed fervour , stronger than working muscle or darting glance could indicate . Of course , [she]_425-rosamond knew [her]_425-rosamond power : indeed , [he]_{3593-the young pastor} did not , because [he]_{3593-the young pastor} could not , conceal it from [her]_425-rosamond . In spite of [his]_{3593-the young pastor} Christian stoicism , when [she]_425-rosamond went up and addressed [him]_{3593-the young pastor} , and smiled gaily , encouragingly , even fondly in [his]_{3593-the young pastor} face , [his]_{3593-the young pastor} hand would tremble and [his]_{3593-the young pastor} eye burn . [He]_{3593-the young pastor} seemed to say , with [his]_{3593-the young pastor} sad and resolute look , if [he]_{3593-the young pastor} did not say it with [his]_{3593-the young pastor} lips , " [I]_{3593-the young pastor} love [you]_425-rosamond , and [I]_{3593-the young pastor} know [you]_425-rosamond prefer [me]_{3593-the young pastor} . It is not despair of success that keeps [me]_{3593-the young pastor} dumb . If [I]_{3593-the young pastor} offered [my]_{3593-the young pastor} heart , [I]_{3593-the young pastor} believe [you]_425-rosamond would accept it . But that heart is already laid on a sacred altar : the fire is arranged round it . It will soon be no more than a sacrifice consumed . "_{[3593-the young pastor]} And then [she]_425-rosamond would pout like [a disappointed child]_{3595-a disappointed child} ; a pensive cloud would soften [her]_425-rosamond radiant vivacity ; [she]_425-rosamond would withdraw [her]_425-rosamond hand hastily from [his]_{3593-the young pastor} , and turn in transient petulance from [his]_{3593-the young pastor} aspect , at once so heroic and so martyr - like . [St. John]_{177-st. john} , no doubt , would have given [the world]_{484-the world} to follow , recall , retain [her]_425-rosamond , when [she]_425-rosamond thus left [him]_{3593-the young pastor} ; but [he]_{3593-the young pastor} would not give one chance of heaven , nor relinquish , for the elysium of [her]_425-rosamond love , one hope of the true , eternal Paradise . Besides , [he]_{3593-the young pastor} could not bind all that [he]_{3593-the young pastor} had in [his]_{3593-the young pastor} nature - [the rover]_{3597-the rover} , [the aspirant]_{3598-the aspirant} , [the poet]_{3599-the poet} , [the priest]_{2903-the priest} - in the limits of a single passion . [He]_{3593-the young pastor} could not - [he]_{3593-the young pastor} would not - renounce [his]_{3593-the young pastor} wild field of mission warfare for [the parlours]_{3601-the parlours} and the peace of [Vale Hall]_{113-vale hall} . [I]_0-i learnt so much from [himself]_{3593-the young pastor} in an inroad [I]_0-i once , despite [his]_{3593-the young pastor} reserve , had the daring to make on [his]_{3593-the young pastor} confidence . [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} already honoured [me]_0-i with frequent visits to [[my]_0-i cottage]_{7119-my cottage} . [I]_0-i had learnt [her]_{417-miss oliver} whole character , which was without mystery or disguise : [she]_{417-miss oliver} was coquettish but not heartless ; exacting , but not worthlessly selfish . [She]_{417-miss oliver} had been indulged from [her]_{417-miss oliver} birth , but was not absolutely spoilt . [She]_{417-miss oliver} was hasty , but good - humoured ; vain [she]_{417-miss oliver} could not help it , when every glance in the glass showed [her]_{417-miss oliver} such a flush of loveliness , but not affected ; liberal - handed ; innocent of the pride of wealth ; ingenuous ; sufficiently intelligent ; gay , lively , and unthinking : [she]_{417-miss oliver} was very charming , in short , even to [a cool observer of [her]_{417-miss oliver} own sex like [me]_0-i]_{3603-a cool observer of her own sex like me} ; but [she]_{417-miss oliver} was not profoundly interesting or thoroughly impressive . A very different sort of mind was [hers]_{417-miss oliver} from that , for instance , of [the sisters of [St. John]_{177-st. john}]_{3604-the sisters of st. john} . Still , [I]_0-i liked [her]_{417-miss oliver} almost as [I]_0-i liked [[my]_0-i pupil]_{5027-my pupil} [Adele]_259-adele ; except that , for [a child whom [we]_3607-we have watched over and taught]_{3606-a child whom we have watched over and taught} , a closer affection is engendered than [we]_3607-we can give [an equally attractive adult acquaintance]_{3608-an equally attractive adult acquaintance} . [She]_{417-miss oliver} had taken an amiable caprice to [me]_0-i . [She]_{417-miss oliver} said [I]_0-i was like [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , only , certainly , [she]_{417-miss oliver} allowed , " not one - tenth so handsome , though [I]_{417-miss oliver} was [a nice neat little soul]_{7196-a nice neat little soul} enough , but [he]_{177-st. john} was [an angel]_{1108-an angel} . "_{[417-miss oliver]} [I]_0-i was , however , good , clever , composed , and firm , like [him]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i was [a lusus naturae]_{3609-a lusus naturae} , [she]_{417-miss oliver} affirmed , as [a village schoolmistress]_{3610-a village schoolmistress} : [she]_{417-miss oliver} was sure [my]_0-i previous history , if known , would make a delightful romance . One evening , while , with [her]_{417-miss oliver} usual child - like activity , and thoughtless yet not offensive inquisitiveness , [she]_{417-miss oliver} was rummaging the cupboard and the table - drawer of [[my]_0-i little kitchen]_{3611-my little kitchen} , [she]_{417-miss oliver} discovered first two French books , a volume of Schiller , a German grammar and dictionary , and then [my]_0-i drawing - materials and some sketches , including a pencil - head of [a pretty little cherub - like girl]_{3612-a pretty little cherub - like girl} , [one of [[my]_0-i scholars]_{7107-my scholars} , and sundry views from nature , taken in [the Vale of [Morton]_105-morton]_{3615-the vale of morton} and on [the surrounding moors]_{3616-the surrounding moors}]_{3613-one of my scholars , and sundry views from nature , taken in the vale of morton and on the surrounding moors} . [She]_{417-miss oliver} was first transfixed with surprise , and then electrified with delight . " Had [I]_{417-miss oliver} done these pictures ? Did [I]_{417-miss oliver} know French and German ? What a love - what a miracle [I]_{417-miss oliver} was ! [I]_{417-miss oliver} drew better than [[her]_{417-miss oliver} master]_{1867-her master} in [the first school in [S-]_118-s-]_{7199-the first school in s-} . Would [I]_{417-miss oliver} sketch a portrait of [her]_{417-miss oliver} , to show to [papa]_4423-papa ? "_{[417-miss oliver]} " With pleasure , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i replied ; and [I]_0-i felt a thrill of artist - delight at the idea of copying from so perfect and radiant [a model]_{1930-a model} . [She]_{417-miss oliver} had then on a dark - blue silk dress ; [her]_{417-miss oliver} arms and [her]_{417-miss oliver} neck were bare ; [her]_{417-miss oliver} only ornament was [her]_{417-miss oliver} chestnut tresses , which waved over [her]_{417-miss oliver} shoulders with all the wild grace of natural curls . [I]_0-i took a sheet of fine card - board , and drew a careful outline . [I]_0-i promised [myself]_0-i the pleasure of colouring it ; and , as it was getting late then , [I]_0-i told [her]_{417-miss oliver} [she]_{417-miss oliver} must come and sit another day . [She]_{417-miss oliver} made such a report of [me]_0-i to [[her]_{417-miss oliver} father]_{1141-her father} , that [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} [himself]_{399-mr. oliver} accompanied [her]_{417-miss oliver} next evening - [a tall , massive - featured , middle - aged , and grey - headed man , at whose side [[his]_{399-mr. oliver} lovely daughter]_{3620-his lovely daughter} looked like a bright flower near [a hoary turret]_{3621-a hoary turret}]_{3619-a tall , massive - featured , middle - aged , and grey - headed man , at whose side his lovely daughter looked like a bright flower near a hoary turret} . [He]_{399-mr. oliver} appeared a taciturn , and perhaps [a proud personage]_{3622-a proud personage} ; but [he]_{399-mr. oliver} was very kind to [me]_0-i . The sketch of [Rosamond]_425-rosamond 's portrait pleased [him]_{399-mr. oliver} highly : [he]_{399-mr. oliver} said [I]_0-i must make a finished picture of it . [He]_{399-mr. oliver} insisted , too , on [my]_0-i coming the next day to spend the evening at [Vale Hall]_{113-vale hall} . [I]_0-i went . [I]_0-i found [it]_{113-vale hall} [a large , handsome residence , showing abundant evidences of wealth in [the proprietor]_{5008-the proprietor}]_{3623-a large , handsome residence , showing abundant evidences of wealth in the proprietor} . [Rosamond]_425-rosamond was full of glee and pleasure all the time [I]_0-i stayed . [[Her]_425-rosamond father]_{1141-her father} was affable ; and when [he]_{1141-her father} entered into conversation with [me]_0-i after tea , [he]_{1141-her father} expressed in strong terms [his]_{1141-her father} approbation of what [I]_0-i had done in [Morton school]_{3626-morton school} , and said [he]_{1141-her father} only feared , from what [he]_{1141-her father} saw and heard , [I]_0-i was too good for [the place]_{1554-the place} , and would soon quit [it]_{1554-the place} for one more suitable . " Indeed , "_{[425-rosamond]} cried [Rosamond]_425-rosamond , ' [she]_425-rosamond is clever enough to be [a governess in a high family]_{3628-a governess in a high family} , [papa]_4423-papa . " [I]_425-rosamond thought [I]_425-rosamond would far rather be where [I]_425-rosamond am than in [any high family in [the land]_{5053-the land}]_{7201-any high family in the land} . [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} spoke of [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} - of [the Rivers family]_{7203-the rivers family} - with great respect . [He]_{399-mr. oliver} said it was a very old name in [that neighbourhood]_{7204-that neighbourhood} ; that [the ancestors of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{7205-the ancestors of the house} were wealthy ; that all [Morton]_105-morton had once belonged to [them]_{7205-the ancestors of the house} ; that even now [he]_{399-mr. oliver} considered [the representative of [that house]_{5120-that house}]_{7207-the representative of that house} might , if [he]_{399-mr. oliver} liked , make an alliance with the best . [He]_{399-mr. oliver} accounted it a pity that [so fine and talented a young man]_{7209-so fine and talented a young man} should have formed the design of going out as [a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} ; it was quite throwing a valuable life away . It appeared , then , that [[her]_{7209-so fine and talented a young man} father]_{1141-her father} would throw no obstacle in the way of [Rosamond]_425-rosamond 's union with [St. John]_{177-st. john} . [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} evidently regarded [the young clergyman]_{7212-the young clergyman} 's good birth , old name , and sacred profession as sufficient compensation for the want of fortune . It was the 5th of November , and a holiday . [[My]_425-rosamond little servant]_{7213-my little servant} , after helping [me]_425-rosamond to clean [[my]_425-rosamond house]_{4395-my house} , was gone , well satisfied with the fee of a penny for [her]_{7213-my little servant} aid . All about [me]_425-rosamond was spotless and bright - scoured floor , polished grate , and well - rubbed chairs . [I]_425-rosamond had also made [myself]_425-rosamond neat , and had now the afternoon before [me]_425-rosamond to spend as [I]_425-rosamond would . The translation of a few pages of German occupied an hour ; then [I]_425-rosamond got [my]_425-rosamond palette and pencils , and fell to the more soothing , because easier occupation , of completing [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond 's miniature . The head was finished already : there was but the background to tint and the drapery to shade off ; a touch of carmine , too , to add to the ripe lips - a soft curl here and there to the tresses - a deeper tinge to the shadow of the lash under the azured eyelid . [I]_425-rosamond was absorbed in the execution of these nice details , when , after one rapid tap , [my]_425-rosamond door unclosed , admitting [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_{[425-rosamond]} [I]_0-i am come to see how [you]_3630-you are spending [your]_3630-you holiday , " [he]_0-i said . "_[0-i] Not , [I]_0-i hope , in thought ? No , that is well : while [you]_3630-you draw [you]_3630-you will not feel lonely . [You]_3630-you see , [I]_0-i mistrust [you]_3630-you still , though [you]_3630-you have borne up wonderfully so far . [I]_0-i have brought [you]_3630-you a book for evening solace , " and [he]_0-i laid on the table a new publication - a poem : one of those genuine productions so often vouchsafed to [the fortunate public of those days]_{7215-the fortunate public of those days} - the golden age of modern literature . Alas ! [the readers]_{1004-the readers} of [our]_7217-our era are less favoured . But courage ! [I]_0-i will not pause either to accuse or repine . [I]_0-i know poetry is not dead , nor genius lost ; nor has [Mammon]_426-mammon gained power over either , to bind or slay : [they]_7218-their will both assert [their]_7218-their existence , [their]_7218-their presence , [their]_7218-their liberty and strength again one day . [Powerful angels]_{7219-powerful angels} , safe in [heaven]_4369-heaven ! [they]_{7219-powerful angels} smile when sordid souls triumph , and [feeble ones]_{7221-feeble ones} weep over [their]_{7219-powerful angels} destruction . Poetry destroyed ? Genius banished ? No ! Mediocrity , no : do not let envy prompt [you]_3630-you to the thought . No ; [they]_{7219-powerful angels} not only live , but reign and redeem : and without [their]_{7219-powerful angels} divine influence spread everywhere , [you]_3630-you would be in [hell]_7222-hell - the hell of [your]_3630-you own meanness . While [I]_0-i was eagerly glancing at the bright pages of "_[0-i] [Marmion]_427-marmion " for "_{[427-marmion]} [Marmion]_427-marmion " it was , [St. John]_{177-st. john} stooped to examine [my]_3631-i drawing . [His]_{177-st. john} tall figure sprang erect again with a start : [he]_{177-st. john} said nothing . [I]_3631-i looked up at [him]_{177-st. john} : [he]_{177-st. john} shunned [my]_3631-i eye . [I]_3631-i knew [his]_{177-st. john} thoughts well , and could read [his]_{177-st. john} heart plainly ; at the moment [I]_3631-i felt calmer and cooler than [he]_{177-st. john} : [I]_3631-i had then temporarily the advantage of [him]_{177-st. john} , and [I]_3631-i conceived an inclination to do [him]_{177-st. john} some good , if [I]_3631-i could . "_[3631-i] With all [his]_3631-i firmness and self - control , " thought [I]_3631-i , "_[3631-i] [he]_3631-i tasks [himself]_3631-i too far : locks every feeling and pang within - expresses , confesses , imparts nothing . [I]_0-i am sure it would benefit [him]_3631-i to talk a little about [this sweet Rosamond , whom [he]_3631-i thinks [he]_3631-i ought not to marry]_{3632-this sweet rosamond , whom he thinks he ought not to marry} : [I]_0-i will make [him]_3631-i talk . " [I]_0-i said first , "_[0-i] Take a chair , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} . " But [he]_3631-i answered , as [he]_3631-i always did , that [he]_3631-i could not stay . "_{[177-st. john]} Very well , " [I]_{177-st. john} responded , mentally , ' stand if [you]_3631-i like ; but [you]_3631-i shall not go just yet , [I]_{177-st. john} am determined : solitude is at least as bad for [you]_3631-i as it is for [me]_{177-st. john} . [I]_{177-st. john} 'll try if [I]_{177-st. john} can not discover the secret spring of [your]_3631-i confidence , and find an aperture in that marble breast through which [I]_{177-st. john} can shed one drop of the balm of sympathy . "_{[177-st. john]} " Is this portrait like ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked bluntly . " Like ! Like whom ? [I]_0-i did not observe it closely . "_[0-i] " [You]_{177-st. john} did , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_{[177-st. john]} [He]_{177-st. john} almost started at [my]_0-i sudden and strange abruptness : [he]_{177-st. john} looked at [me]_0-i astonished . " Oh , that is nothing yet , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i muttered within . " [I]_0-i do n't mean to be baffled by a little stiffness on [your]_{177-st. john} part ; [I]_0-i 'm prepared to go to considerable lengths . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i continued , " [You]_{177-st. john} observed it closely and distinctly ; but [I]_0-i have no objection to [your]_{177-st. john} looking at it again , "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i rose and placed it in [his]_{177-st. john} hand . " A well - executed picture , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} said ; " very soft , clear colouring ; very graceful and correct drawing . "_{[177-st. john]} " Yes , yes ; [I]_{177-st. john} know all that . But what of the resemblance ? Who is it like ? "_{[177-st. john]} Mastering some hesitation , [he]_{177-st. john} answered , " [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} , [I]_{177-st. john} presume . "_{[177-st. john]} " Of course . And now , [sir]_4374-sir , to reward [you]_4374-sir for the accurate guess , [I]_{177-st. john} will promise to paint [you]_4374-sir a careful and faithful duplicate of this very picture , provided [you]_4374-sir admit that the gift would be acceptable to [you]_4374-sir . [I]_{177-st. john} do n't wish to throw away [my]_{177-st. john} time and trouble on an offering [you]_4374-sir would deem worthless . "_{[177-st. john]} [He]_{177-st. john} continued to gaze at the picture : the longer [he]_{177-st. john} looked , the firmer [he]_{177-st. john} held it , the more [he]_{177-st. john} seemed to covet it . " It is like ! "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} murmured ; " the eye is well managed : the colour , light , expression , are perfect . It smiles ! "_{[177-st. john]} " Would it comfort , or would it wound [you]_4374-sir to have a similar painting ? Tell [me]_{177-st. john} that . When [you]_4374-sir are at [Madagascar]_{119-madagascar} , or at the Cape , or in [India]_63-india , would it be a consolation to have that memento in [your]_4374-sir possession ? or would the sight of it bring recollections calculated to enervate and distress ? "_{[177-st. john]} [He]_{177-st. john} now furtively raised [his]_{177-st. john} eyes : [he]_{177-st. john} glanced at [me]_0-i , irresolute , disturbed : [he]_{177-st. john} again surveyed the picture . " That [I]_{177-st. john} should like to have it is certain : whether it would be judicious or wise is another question . "_{[177-st. john]} Since [I]_0-i had ascertained that [Rosamond]_425-rosamond really preferred [him]_{177-st. john} , and that [[her]_425-rosamond father]_{1141-her father} was not likely to oppose the match , [I]_0-i - less exalted in [my]_0-i views than [St. John]_{177-st. john} - had been strongly disposed in [my]_0-i own heart to advocate [their]_3634-their union . It seemed to [me]_0-i that , should [he]_{177-st. john} become the possessor of [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} 's large fortune , [he]_{177-st. john} might do as much good with it as if [he]_{177-st. john} went and laid [his]_{177-st. john} genius out to wither , and [his]_{177-st. john} strength to waste , under a tropical sun . With this persuasion [I]_0-i now answered - " As far as [I]_0-i can see , it would be wiser and more judicious if [you]_{177-st. john} were to take to [yourself]_{177-st. john} the original at once . "_[0-i] By this time [he]_{177-st. john} had sat down : [he]_{177-st. john} had laid the picture on the table before [him]_{177-st. john} , and with [his]_{177-st. john} brow supported on both hands , hung fondly over it . [I]_0-i discerned [he]_{177-st. john} was now neither angry nor shocked at [my]_0-i audacity . [I]_0-i saw even that to be thus frankly addressed on a subject [he]_{177-st. john} had deemed unapproachable - to hear it thus freely handled - was beginning to be felt by [him]_{177-st. john} as a new pleasure - an unhoped - for relief . [Reserved people]_{3635-reserved people} often really need the frank discussion of [their]_{3635-reserved people} sentiments and griefs more than the expansive . [The sternest - seeming stoic]_{3636-the sternest - seeming stoic} is human after all ; and to " burst "_{[3636-the sternest - seeming stoic]} with boldness and good - will into " the silent sea "_{[3636-the sternest - seeming stoic]} of [their]_{3635-reserved people} souls is often to confer on [them]_{3635-reserved people} the first of obligations . " [She]_7224-her likes [you]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i am sure , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , as [I]_0-i stood behind [his]_{177-st. john} chair , " and [[her]_7224-her father]_{1141-her father} respects [you]_{177-st. john} . Moreover , [she]_7224-her is [a sweet girl]_{7226-a sweet girl} - rather thoughtless ; but [you]_{177-st. john} would have sufficient thought for both [yourself]_{177-st. john} and [her]_7224-her . [You]_{177-st. john} ought to marry [her]_7224-her . "_[0-i] " DOES [she]_7224-her like [me]_{177-st. john} ? "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} asked . " Certainly ; better than [she]_7224-her likes [any one else]_{4384-any one else} . [She]_7224-her talks of [you]_{177-st. john} continually : there is no subject [she]_7224-her enjoys so much or touches upon so often . "_{[177-st. john]} " It is very pleasant to hear this , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} said - " very : go on for another quarter of an hour . "_{[177-st. john]} And [he]_{177-st. john} actually took out [his]_{177-st. john} watch and laid it upon the table to measure the time . " But where is the use of going on , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked , " when [you]_{177-st. john} are probably preparing some iron blow of contradiction , or forging a fresh chain to fetter [your]_{177-st. john} heart ? "_[0-i] " Do n't imagine such hard things . Fancy [me]_0-i yielding and melting , as [I]_0-i am doing : human love rising like a freshly opened fountain in [my]_0-i mind and overflowing with sweet inundation all the field [I]_0-i have so carefully and with such labour prepared - so assiduously sown with the seeds of good intentions , of self - denying plans . And now it is deluged with a nectarous flood - the young germs swamped - delicious poison cankering them : now [I]_0-i see [myself]_0-i stretched on an ottoman in [the drawing - room at [Vale Hall]_{113-vale hall}]_{7228-the drawing - room at vale hall} at [[my]_0-i bride]_{2506-my bride} [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond 's feet : [she]_7224-her is talking to [me]_0-i with [her]_7224-her sweet voice - gazing down on [me]_0-i with those eyes [your]_{177-st. john} skilful hand has copied so well - smiling at [me]_0-i with these coral lips . [She]_7224-her is [mine]_0-i - [I]_0-i am [hers]_7224-her - this present life and [passing world]_{7230-passing world} suffice to [me]_0-i . Hush ! say nothing - [my]_0-i heart is full of delight - [my]_0-i senses are entranced - let the time [I]_0-i marked pass in peace . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i humoured [him]_3637-i : the watch ticked on : [he]_3637-i breathed fast and low : [I]_0-i stood silent . Amidst this hush [the quartet]_{3638-the quartet} sped ; [he]_3637-i replaced the watch , laid the picture down , rose , and stood on the hearth . " Now , "_[3637-i] said [he]_3637-i , " that little space was given to delirium and delusion . [I]_3637-i rested [my]_3637-i temples on the breast of temptation , and put [my]_3637-i neck voluntarily under [her]_7224-her yoke of flowers . [I]_3637-i tasted [her]_7224-her cup . The pillow was burning : there is an asp in the garland : the wine has a bitter taste : [her]_7224-her promises are hollow - [her]_7224-her offers false : [I]_3637-i see and know all this . "_[3637-i] [I]_0-i gazed at [him]_3637-i in wonder . " It is strange , "_[3637-i] pursued [he]_3637-i , " that while [I]_3637-i love [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond so wildly - with all the intensity , indeed , of a first passion , the object of which is exquisitely beautiful , graceful , fascinating - [I]_3637-i experience at the same time a calm , unwarped consciousness that [she]_425-rosamond would not make [me]_3637-i [a good wife]_{7231-a good wife} ; that [she]_425-rosamond is not [the partner suited to [me]_3637-i]_{7232-the partner suited to me} ; that [I]_3637-i should discover this within a year after marriage ; and that to twelve months ' rapture would succeed a lifetime of regret . This [I]_3637-i know . "_[3637-i] " Strange indeed ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not help ejaculating . " While something in [me]_3637-i , "_[3637-i] [he]_3637-i went on , " is acutely sensible to [her]_7224-her charms , something else is as deeply impressed with [her]_7224-her defects : they are such that [she]_7224-her could sympathise in nothing [I]_3637-i aspired to - co- operate in nothing [I]_3637-i undertook . [Rosamond]_425-rosamond [a sufferer]_{7233-a sufferer} , [a labourer]_{7234-a labourer} , [a female apostle]_{7235-a female apostle} ? [Rosamond]_425-rosamond [[a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} 's wife]_{7237-a missionary 's wife} ? No ! "_[3637-i] " But [you]_0-i need not be [a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} . [You]_0-i might relinquish that scheme . "_[3637-i] " Relinquish ! What ! [my]_0-i vocation ? [My]_0-i great work ? [My]_0-i foundation laid on [earth]_478-earth for [a mansion in [heaven]_4369-heaven]_{7240-a mansion in heaven} ? [My]_0-i hopes of being numbered in [the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering [their]_{7242-the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race} race]_{7242-the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race} - of carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance - of substituting peace for war - freedom for bondage - religion for superstition - the hope of heaven for the fear of hell ? Must [I]_0-i relinquish that ? It is dearer than the blood in [my]_0-i veins . It is what [I]_0-i have to look forward to , and to live for . "_[0-i] After a considerable pause , [I]_0-i said - " And [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} ? Are [her]_{417-miss oliver} disappointment and sorrow of no interest to [you]_0-i ? "_[0-i] " [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} is ever surrounded by [suitors]_6259-suitors and [flatterers]_{7244-flatterers} : in less than a month , [my]_3637-i image will be effaced from [her]_{417-miss oliver} heart . [She]_{417-miss oliver} will forget [me]_3637-i ; and will marry , probably , [some one who will make [her]_{417-miss oliver} far happier than [I]_3637-i should do]_{7245-some one who will make her far happier than i should do} . "_[3637-i] " [You]_0-i speak coolly enough ; but [you]_0-i suffer in the conflict . [You]_0-i are wasting away . "_[0-i] " No . If [I]_0-i get a little thin , it is with anxiety about [my]_0-i prospects , yet unsettled - [my]_0-i departure , continually procrastinated . Only this morning , [I]_0-i received intelligence that [the successor]_{7246-the successor} , whose arrival [I]_0-i have been so long expecting , can not be ready to replace [me]_0-i for three months to come yet ; and perhaps the three months may extend to six . "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i tremble and become flushed whenever [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} enters [the schoolroom]_{888-the schoolroom} . "_[3639-i] Again the surprised expression crossed [his]_3639-i face . [He]_3639-i had not imagined that [a woman]_{4399-a woman} would dare to speak so to [a man]_{4429-a man} . For [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i felt at [home]_509-home in this sort of discourse . [I]_0-i could never rest in communication with [strong , discreet , and refined minds]_{3643-strong , discreet , and refined minds} , whether male or female , till [I]_0-i had passed the outworks of conventional reserve , and crossed the threshold of confidence , and won a place by [their]_{3643-strong , discreet , and refined minds} heart 's very hearthstone . " [You]_0-i are original , "_[3639-i] said [he]_3639-i , " and not timid . There is something brave in [your]_0-i spirit , as well as penetrating in [your]_0-i eye ; but allow [me]_3639-i to assure [you]_0-i that [you]_0-i partially misinterpret [my]_3639-i emotions . [You]_0-i think them more profound and potent than they are . [You]_0-i give [me]_3639-i a larger allowance of sympathy than [I]_3639-i have a just claim to . When [I]_3639-i colour , and when [I]_3639-i shade before [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} , [I]_3639-i do not pity [myself]_3639-i . [I]_3639-i scorn the weakness . [I]_3639-i know it is ignoble : a mere fever of the flesh : not , [I]_3639-i declare , the convulsion of the soul . THAT is just as fixed as a rock , firm set in the depths of [a restless sea]_{7248-a restless sea} . Know [me]_3639-i to be what [I]_3639-i am - [a cold hard man]_{7249-a cold hard man} . "_[3639-i] [I]_0-i smiled incredulously . " [You]_0-i have taken [my]_3644-my confidence by storm , "_[3644-my] [he]_3644-my continued , " and now it is much at [your]_0-i service . [I]_3644-my am simply , in [my]_3644-my original state - stripped of that blood - bleached robe with which [Christianity]_{428-christianity} covers human deformity - [a cold , hard , ambitious man]_{7250-a cold , hard , ambitious man} . Natural affection only , of all the sentiments , has permanent power over [me]_3644-my . Reason , and not feeling , is [my]_3644-my guide ; [my]_3644-my ambition is unlimited : [my]_3644-my desire to rise higher , to do more than [others]_1041-others , insatiable . [I]_3644-my honour endurance , perseverance , industry , talent ; because these are the means by which [men]_482-men achieve great ends and mount to lofty eminence . [I]_3644-my watch [your]_0-i career with interest , because [I]_3644-my consider [you]_0-i a specimen of [a diligent , orderly , energetic woman]_{7253-a diligent , orderly , energetic woman} : not because [I]_3644-my deeply compassionate what [you]_0-i have gone through , or what [you]_0-i still suffer . "_[3644-my] " [You]_3644-my would describe [yourself]_3644-my as [a mere pagan philosopher]_{7254-a mere pagan philosopher} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " No . There is this difference between [me]_0-i and [deistic philosophers]_{7255-deistic philosophers} : [I]_0-i believe ; and [I]_0-i believe the Gospel . [You]_0-i missed [your]_0-i epithet . [I]_0-i am not [a pagan]_{7256-a pagan} , but [a Christian philosopher]_{7257-a christian philosopher} - [a follower of [the sect of [Jesus]_416-jesus]_{7259-the sect of jesus}]_{7258-a follower of the sect of jesus} . As [[His]_416-jesus disciple]_{7260-his disciple} [I]_0-i adopt [His]_416-jesus pure , [His]_416-jesus merciful , [His]_416-jesus benignant doctrines . [I]_0-i advocate them : [I]_0-i am sworn to spread them . Won in youth to religion , [she]_7261-she has cultivated [my]_0-i original qualities thus:- From the minute germ , natural affection , [she]_7261-she has developed the overshadowing tree , philanthropy . From the wild stringy root of human uprightness , [she]_7261-she has reared a due sense of the Divine justice . Of the ambition to win power and renown for [my]_0-i wretched self , [she]_7261-she has formed the ambition to spread [[my]_0-i Master]_{4336-my master} 's kingdom ; to achieve victories for the standard of the cross . So much has religion done for [me]_0-i ; turning the original materials to the best account ; pruning and training nature . But [she]_7261-she could not eradicate nature : nor will it be eradicated ' till [this mortal]_{7263-this mortal} shall put on immortality . ' "_[0-i] Having said this , [he]_3645-he took [his]_3645-he hat , which lay on the table beside [my]_0-i palette . Once more [he]_3645-he looked at the portrait . " [She]_7261-she IS lovely , "_[3645-he] [he]_3645-he murmured . " [She]_7261-she is well named the Rose of [the World]_{484-the world} , indeed ! "_[3645-he] " And may [I]_3645-he not paint one like it for [you]_3645-he ? "_[3645-he] " CUI BONO ? No . "_[3645-he] [He]_3645-he drew over the picture the sheet of thin paper on which [I]_0-i was accustomed to rest [my]_0-i hand in painting , to prevent the cardboard from being sullied . What [he]_3645-he suddenly saw on this blank paper , it was impossible for [me]_0-i to tell ; but something had caught [his]_3645-he eye . [He]_3645-he took it up with a snatch ; [he]_3645-he looked at the edge ; then shot a glance at [me]_0-i , inexpressibly peculiar , and quite incomprehensible : a glance that seemed to take and make note of every point in [my]_0-i shape , face , and dress ; for it traversed all , quick , keen as lightning . [His]_3645-he lips parted , as if to speak : but [he]_3645-he checked the coming sentence , whatever it was . " What is the matter ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " Nothing in [the world]_{484-the world} , "_[3645-he] was the reply ; and , replacing the paper , [I]_0-i saw [him]_3645-he dexterously tear a narrow slip from the margin . It disappeared in [his]_3645-he glove ; and , with one hasty nod and " good - afternoon , "_[3645-he] [he]_3645-he vanished . " Well ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i exclaimed , using an expression of the district , " that caps the globe , however ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i , in [my]_0-i turn , scrutinised the paper ; but saw nothing on it save a few dingy stains of paint where [I]_0-i had tried the tint in [my]_0-i pencil . [I]_0-i pondered the mystery a minute or two ; but finding it insolvable , and being certain it could not be of much moment , [I]_0-i dismissed , and soon forgot it . CHAPTER XXXIII When [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} went , it was beginning to snow ; the whirling storm continued all night . The next day a keen wind brought fresh and blinding falls ; by twilight [the valley]_{6769-the valley} was drifted up and almost impassable . [I]_0-i had closed [my]_0-i shutter , laid a mat to the door to prevent the snow from blowing in under it , trimmed [my]_0-i fire , and after sitting nearly an hour on the hearth listening to the muffled fury of the tempest , [I]_0-i lit a candle , took down " [Marmion]_427-marmion , "_[0-i] and beginning - " Day set on [Norham]_121-norham 's castled steep , And [[Tweed]_122-tweed 's fair river broad and deep , And [Cheviot]_123-cheviot 's mountains lone]_{7266-tweed 's fair river broad and deep , and cheviot 's mountains lone} ; [The massive towers]_{7267-the massive towers} , [the donjon keep]_{7268-the donjon keep} , The flanking walls that round [them]_{7267-the massive towers} sweep , In yellow lustre shone "_[0-i] - [I]_0-i soon forgot storm in music . [I]_0-i heard a noise : the wind , [I]_0-i thought , shook the door . No ; it was [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} , who , lifting the latch , came in out of the frozen hurricane - the howling darkness - and stood before [me]_0-i : the cloak that covered [his]_{177-st. john} tall figure all white as a glacier . [I]_0-i was almost in consternation , so little had [I]_0-i expected [any guest]_{3647-any guest} from [the blocked - up vale]_{3648-the blocked - up vale} that night . " Any ill news ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i demanded . " Has anything happened ? "_[0-i] " No . How very easily alarmed [you]_0-i are ! "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} answered , removing [his]_{177-st. john} cloak and hanging it up against the door , towards which [he]_{177-st. john} again coolly pushed the mat which [his]_{177-st. john} entrance had deranged . [He]_{177-st. john} stamped the snow from [his]_{177-st. john} boots . " [I]_{177-st. john} shall sully the purity of [your]_0-i floor , "_{[177-st. john]} said [he]_{177-st. john} , " but [you]_0-i must excuse [me]_{177-st. john} for once . "_{[177-st. john]} Then [he]_{177-st. john} approached the fire . " [I]_{177-st. john} have had hard work to get here , [I]_{177-st. john} assure [you]_0-i , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} observed , as [he]_{177-st. john} warmed [his]_{177-st. john} hands over the flame . " One drift took [me]_{177-st. john} up to the waist ; happily the snow is quite soft yet . "_{[177-st. john]} " But why are [you]_{177-st. john} come ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not forbear saying . " Rather an inhospitable question to put to [a visitor]_{4974-a visitor} ; but since [you]_0-i ask it , [I]_{177-st. john} answer simply to have a little talk with [you]_0-i ; [I]_{177-st. john} got tired of [my]_{177-st. john} mute books and [empty rooms]_{7270-empty rooms} . Besides , since yesterday [I]_{177-st. john} have experienced the excitement of [a person to whom a tale has been half- told]_{7271-a person to whom a tale has been half- told} , and who is impatient to hear the sequel . "_{[177-st. john]} [He]_{177-st. john} sat down . [I]_0-i recalled [his]_{177-st. john} singular conduct of yesterday , and really [I]_0-i began to fear [his]_{177-st. john} wits were touched . If [he]_{177-st. john} were insane , however , [his]_{177-st. john} was a very cool and collected insanity : [I]_0-i had never seen that handsome - featured face of [his]_{177-st. john} look more like chiselled marble than it did just now , as [he]_{177-st. john} put aside [his]_{177-st. john} snow - wet hair from [his]_{177-st. john} forehead and let the firelight shine free on [his]_{177-st. john} pale brow and cheek as pale , where it grieved [me]_0-i to discover the hollow trace of care or sorrow now so plainly graved . [I]_0-i waited , expecting [he]_{177-st. john} would say something [I]_0-i could at least comprehend ; but [his]_{177-st. john} hand was now at [his]_{177-st. john} chin , [his]_{177-st. john} finger on [his]_{177-st. john} lip : [he]_{177-st. john} was thinking . It struck [me]_0-i that [his]_{177-st. john} hand looked wasted like [his]_{177-st. john} face . A perhaps uncalled - for gush of pity came over [my]_0-i heart : [I]_0-i was moved to say - " [I]_0-i wish [Diana]_400-diana or [Mary]_233-mary would come and live with [you]_{177-st. john} : it is too bad that [you]_{177-st. john} should be quite alone ; and [you]_{177-st. john} are recklessly rash about [your]_{177-st. john} own health . "_[0-i] " Not at all , "_{[177-st. john]} said [he]_{177-st. john} : " [I]_{177-st. john} care for [myself]_{177-st. john} when necessary . [I]_{177-st. john} am well now . What do [you]_0-i see amiss in [me]_{177-st. john} ? "_{[177-st. john]} This was said with a careless , abstracted indifference , which showed that [my]_0-i solicitude was , at least in [his]_{177-st. john} opinion , wholly superfluous . [I]_0-i was silenced . [He]_{177-st. john} still slowly moved [his]_{177-st. john} finger over [his]_{177-st. john} upper lip , and still [his]_{177-st. john} eye dwelt dreamily on the glowing grate ; thinking it urgent to say something , [I]_0-i asked [him]_{177-st. john} presently if [he]_{177-st. john} felt any cold draught from the door , which was behind [him]_{177-st. john} . " No , no ! "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} responded shortly and somewhat testily . " Well , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i reflected , " if [you]_{177-st. john} wo n't talk , [you]_{177-st. john} may be still ; [I]_0-i 'll let [you]_{177-st. john} alone now , and return to [my]_0-i book . "_[0-i] So [I]_0-i snuffed the candle and resumed the perusal of " [Marmion]_427-marmion . "_{[177-st. john]} [He]_{177-st. john} soon stirred ; [my]_0-i eye was instantly drawn to [his]_{177-st. john} movements ; [he]_{177-st. john} only took out a morocco pocket - book , thence produced a letter , which [he]_{177-st. john} read in silence , folded it , put it back , relapsed into meditation . It was vain to try to read with such an inscrutable fixture before [me]_0-i ; nor could [I]_0-i , in impatience , consent to be dumb ; [he]_{177-st. john} might rebuff [me]_0-i if [he]_{177-st. john} liked , but talk [I]_0-i would . " Have [you]_{177-st. john} heard from [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary lately ? "_{[177-st. john]} " Not since the letter [I]_{177-st. john} showed [you]_{177-st. john} a week ago . "_{[177-st. john]} " There has not been any change made about [your]_{177-st. john} own arrangements ? [You]_{177-st. john} will not be summoned to leave [England]_21-england sooner than [you]_{177-st. john} expected ? "_{[177-st. john]} " [I]_{177-st. john} fear not , indeed : such chance is too good to befall [me]_{177-st. john} . "_{[177-st. john]} Baffled so far , [I]_0-i changed [my]_0-i ground . [I]_0-i bethought [myself]_0-i to talk about [the school]_{4461-the school} and [[my]_0-i scholars]_{7107-my scholars} . " [[Mary Garrett]_{429-mary garrett} 's mother]_{7272-mary garrett 's mother} is better , and [Mary]_{429-mary garrett} came back to [the school]_{4461-the school} this morning , and [I]_0-i shall have [four new girls]_{7274-four new girls} next week from the Foundry Close - [they]_{7274-four new girls} would have come to - day but for the snow . "_[0-i] " Indeed ! "_{[177-st. john]} " [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} pays for two . "_[3651-i] " Does [he]_{399-mr. oliver} ? "_[0-i] " [He]_{399-mr. oliver} means to give [the whole school]_{940-the whole school} a treat at Christmas . "_{[177-st. john]} " [I]_3651-i know . "_[3651-i] " Was it [your]_3651-i suggestion ? "_[0-i] " No . "_{[177-st. john]} " Whose , then ? "_[3651-i] " [[His]_{399-mr. oliver} daughter]_{7128-his daughter} 's , [I]_0-i think . "_[0-i] " It is like [her]_{7128-his daughter} : [she]_{7128-his daughter} is so good - natured . "_[0-i] " Yes . "_[3651-i] Again came the blank of a pause : the clock struck eight strokes . It aroused [him]_3651-i ; [he]_3651-i uncrossed [his]_3651-i legs , sat erect , turned to [me]_0-i . " Leave [your]_0-i book a moment , and come a little nearer the fire , "_[3651-i] [he]_3651-i said . [Wondering]_{430-wondering} , and of [my]_0-i wonder finding no end , [I]_0-i complied . " Half - an - hour ago , "_[3651-i] [he]_3651-i pursued , " [I]_3651-i spoke of [my]_3651-i impatience to hear the sequel of a tale : on reflection , [I]_3651-i find the matter will be better managed by [my]_3651-i assuming [the narrator]_{7277-the narrator} 's part , and converting [you]_0-i into [a listener]_{5370-a listener} . Before commencing , it is but fair to warn [you]_0-i that the story will sound somewhat hackneyed in [your]_0-i ears ; but stale details often regain a degree of freshness when they pass through new lips . For the rest , whether trite or novel , it is short . "_[3651-i] Twenty years ago , [a poor curate]_{3652-a poor curate} - never mind [his]_{3652-a poor curate} name at this moment - fell in love with [[a rich man]_{3653-a rich man} 's daughter]_{3654-a rich man 's daughter} ; [she]_{3654-a rich man 's daughter} fell in love with [him]_{3652-a poor curate} , and married [him]_{3652-a poor curate} , against the advice of all [[her]_{3654-a rich man 's daughter} friends]_{715-her friends} , who consequently disowned [her]_{3654-a rich man 's daughter} immediately after the wedding . Before two years passed , [the rash pair]_{3656-the rash pair} were both dead , and laid quietly side by side under one slab . [I]_0-i have seen [their]_{3656-the rash pair} grave ; it formed part of the pavement of [a huge churchyard surrounding [the grim , soot - black old cathedral of [an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire]_{3659-an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire}]_{3658-the grim , soot - black old cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire}]_{3657-a huge churchyard surrounding the grim , soot - black old cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in -shire} . [They]_{3656-the rash pair} left [a daughter]_{3015-a daughter} , which , at its very birth , [Charity]_431-charity received in [her]_431-charity lap - cold as that of the snow - drift [I]_0-i almost stuck fast in to - night . [Charity]_431-charity carried the friendless thing to [the house of [its]_{3015-a daughter} rich maternal relations]_{3661-the house of its rich maternal relations} ; it was reared by [an aunt - in - law]_{3662-an aunt - in - law} , called [I]_0-i come to names now [Mrs. Reed of Gateshead]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} . [You]_0-i start - did [you]_0-i hear a noise ? [I]_0-i daresay it is only a rat scrambling along the rafters of [the adjoining schoolroom]_{3663-the adjoining schoolroom} : it was [a barn before [I]_0-i had [it]_{3664-a barn before i had it repaired and altered , and barns are generally haunted by rats} repaired and altered , and [barns]_3665-barns are generally haunted by rats]_{3664-a barn before i had it repaired and altered , and barns are generally haunted by rats} . - To proceed . [Mrs. Reed]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} kept [the orphan]_{3666-the orphan} ten years : whether it was happy or not with [her]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} , [I]_0-i can not say , never having been told ; but at the end of that time [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} transferred [it]_{3666-the orphan} to [a place [you]_0-i know - being no other than [Lowood School]_{24-lowood school} , where [you]_0-i so long resided [yourself]_0-i]_{3667-a place you know - being no other than lowood school , where you so long resided yourself} . It seems [her]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} career there was very honourable : from [a pupil]_{7014-a pupil} , [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} became [a teacher]_{4885-a teacher} , like [yourself]_0-i - really it strikes [me]_0-i there are parallel points in [her]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} history and [yours]_0-i - [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} left it to be [a governess]_{5029-a governess} : there , again , [your]_0-i fates were analogous ; [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} undertook the education of [the ward of a certain [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester}]_{3671-the ward of a certain mr. rochester} . " "_{[432-mrs. reed of gateshead]} [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ! " [I]_{177-st. john} interrupted . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i can guess [your]_0-i feelings , " [he]_0-i said , "_[0-i] but restrain them for a while : [I]_0-i have nearly finished ; hear [me]_0-i to the end . [Of Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's character [I]_0-i know nothing , but the one fact that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} professed to offer honourable marriage to [this young girl]_{3672-this young girl} , and that at the very altar [she]_{3672-this young girl} discovered [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had [a wife]_{5665-a wife} yet alive , though [a lunatic]_{3674-a lunatic} . What [his]_{251-mr. rochester} subsequent conduct and proposals were is a matter of pure conjecture ; but when an event transpired which rendered inquiry after [the governess]_{1491-the governess} necessary , it was discovered [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} was gone - [no one]_{593-no one} could tell when , where , or how . [She]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} had left [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} in the night ; every research after [her]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} course had been vain : [the country]_{4525-the country} had been scoured far and wide ; no vestige of information could be gathered respecting [her]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} . Yet that [she]_{432-mrs. reed of gateshead} should be found is become a matter of serious urgency : advertisements have been put in all the papers ; [I]_0-i [myself]_0-i have received a letter from [one Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} , [a solicitor]_{3678-a solicitor} , communicating the details [I]_0-i have just imparted . Is it not an odd tale ? " "_[3679-you] Just tell [me]_0-i this , " said [I]_3679-you , "_[3679-you] and since [you]_3679-you know so much , [you]_3679-you surely can tell it [me]_0-i - what of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? How and where is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ? What is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} doing ? Is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} well ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am ignorant of all concerning [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} : the letter never mentions [him]_{251-mr. rochester} but to narrate the fraudulent and illegal attempt [I]_0-i have adverted to . [You]_3679-you should rather ask the name of [the governess]_{1491-the governess} - the nature of the event which requires [her]_{1491-the governess} appearance . " "_{[1491-the governess]} Did [no one]_{593-no one} go to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , then ? Did [no one]_{593-no one} see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose not . " "_[0-i] But [they]_3683-they wrote to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " "_[3683-they] Of course . " "_[3683-they] And what did [he]_{251-mr. rochester} say ? Who has [his]_{251-mr. rochester} letters ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} intimates that the answer to [his]_{251-mr. rochester} application was not from [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , but from [a lady]_{4932-a lady} : it is signed ' [Alice Fairfax]_371-alice . ' " [I]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} felt cold and dismayed : [my]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} worst fears then were probably true : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had in all probability left [England]_21-england and rushed in reckless desperation to [some former haunt on [the Continent]_{52-the continent}]_{7279-some former haunt on the continent} . And what opiate for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} severe sufferings - what object for [his]_{251-mr. rochester} strong passions - had [he]_{251-mr. rochester} sought [there]_4426-there ? [I]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} dared not answer the question . Oh , [[my]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} poor master]_{7281-my poor master} - once almost [[my]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} husband]_{5014-my husband} - whom [I]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} had often called "_{[377-edward fairfax rochester]} [[my]_0-i dear]_{4468-my dear} [Edward]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} ! " "_{[377-edward fairfax rochester]} [He]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} must have been [a bad man]_{3686-a bad man} , " observed [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_[3687-you] [You]_3687-you do n't know [him]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} - do n't pronounce an opinion upon [him]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} , " [I]_3687-you said , with warmth . "_[3687-you] Very well , " [he]_0-i answered quietly : "_[3687-you] and indeed [my]_0-i head is otherwise occupied than with [him]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} : [I]_0-i have [my]_0-i tale to finish . Since [you]_3687-you wo n't ask [the governess]_{1491-the governess} 's name , [I]_0-i must tell it of [my]_0-i own accord . Stay ! [I]_0-i have it here - it is always more satisfactory to see important points written down , fairly committed to black and white . " And the pocket - book was again deliberately produced , opened , sought through ; from one of its compartments was extracted a shabby slip of paper , hastily torn off : [I]_146-jane recognised in its texture and its stains of ultra - marine , and lake , and vermillion , the ravished margin of the portrait - cover . [He]_{376-mr. briggs} got up , held it close to [my]_146-jane eyes : and [I]_146-jane read , traced in Indian ink , in [my]_146-jane own handwriting , the words "_[146-jane] [JANE EYRE]_146-jane " - the work doubtless of some moment of abstraction . "_{[376-mr. briggs]} [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} wrote to [me]_0-i of a [Jane Eyre]_146-jane : " [he]_{376-mr. briggs} said , "_{[376-mr. briggs]} the advertisements demanded a [Jane Eyre]_146-jane : [I]_0-i knew [a Jane Elliott]_{406-jane elliott} . - [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i had [my]_0-i suspicions , but it was only yesterday afternoon they were at once resolved into certainty . [You]_{376-mr. briggs} own the name and renounce the alias ? " "_{[376-mr. briggs]} Yes - yes ; but where is [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} ? [He]_{376-mr. briggs} perhaps knows more of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} than [you]_0-i do . " "_{[376-mr. briggs]} [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} is in [London]_31-london . [I]_0-i should doubt [his]_{376-mr. briggs} knowing anything at all about [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ; it is not in [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} [he]_{376-mr. briggs} is interested . Meantime , [you]_0-i forget essential points in pursuing trifles : [you]_0-i do not inquire why [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} sought after [you]_0-i - what [he]_{376-mr. briggs} wanted with [you]_0-i . " "_{[376-mr. briggs]} Well , what did [he]_{376-mr. briggs} want ? " "_{[376-mr. briggs]} Merely to tell [you]_0-i that [[your]_0-i uncle]_{6081-your uncle} , [Mr. Eyre of Madeira]_245-madeira , is dead ; that [he]_245-madeira has left [you]_0-i all [his]_245-madeira property , and that [you]_0-i are now rich - merely that - nothing more . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ! - rich ? " "_[0-i] Yes , [you]_0-i , rich - quite [an heiress]_{3690-an heiress} . " Silence succeeded . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i must prove [your]_0-i identity of course , " resumed [St. John]_{177-st. john} presently : "_[0-i] a step which will offer no difficulties ; [you]_0-i can then enter on immediate possession . [Your]_0-i fortune is vested in the English funds ; [Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} has the will and the necessary documents . " Here was a new card turned up ! It is a fine thing , [reader]_496-reader , to be lifted in a moment from indigence to wealth - a very fine thing ; but not a matter [one]_4415-one can comprehend , or consequently enjoy , all at once . And then there are other chances in life far more thrilling and rapture - giving : THIS is solid , an affair of [the actual world]_{7285-the actual world} , nothing ideal about it : all its associations are solid and sober , and its manifestations are the same . [One]_4415-one does not jump , and spring , and shout hurrah ! at hearing [one]_4415-one has got a fortune ; [one]_4415-one begins to consider responsibilities , and to ponder business ; on a base of steady satisfaction rise certain grave cares , and [we]_7289-we contain [ourselves]_7289-we , and brood over [our]_7289-we bliss with a solemn brow . Besides , the words Legacy , Bequest , go side by side with the words , Death , Funeral . [[My]_3691-you uncle]_{4421-my uncle} [I]_3691-you had heard was dead - [[my]_3691-you only relative]_{7291-my only relative} ; ever since being made aware of [his]_{4421-my uncle} existence , [I]_3691-you had cherished the hope of one day seeing [him]_{4421-my uncle} : now , [I]_3691-you never should . And then this money came only to [me]_3691-you : not to [me]_3691-you and [a rejoicing family]_{7292-a rejoicing family} , but to [my]_3691-you isolated self . It was a grand boon doubtless ; and independence would be glorious - yes , [I]_3691-you felt that - that thought swelled [my]_3691-you heart . "_[3691-you] [You]_3691-you unbend [your]_3691-you forehead at last , " said [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_[3691-you] [I]_0-i thought [Medusa]_433-medusa had looked at [you]_3691-you , and that [you]_3691-you were turning to stone . Perhaps now [you]_3691-you will ask how much [you]_3691-you are worth ? " "_[3691-you] How much am [I]_0-i worth ? " "_[3691-you] Oh , a trifle ! Nothing of course to speak of - twenty thousand pounds , [I]_0-i think [they]_3692-i say - but what is that ? " "_[3692-i] Twenty thousand pounds ? " Here was a new stunner - [I]_3692-i had been calculating on four or five thousand . This news actually took [my]_3692-i breath for a moment : [Mr. St. John]_{177-st. john} , whom [I]_3692-i had never heard laugh before , laughed now . "_[3692-i] Well , " said [he]_0-i , "_[3692-i] if [you]_3691-you had committed a murder , and [I]_0-i had told [you]_3691-you [your]_3691-you crime was discovered , [you]_3691-you could scarcely look more aghast . " "_[3691-you] It is a large sum - do n't [you]_3691-you think there is a mistake ? " "_[3691-you] No mistake at all . " "_[3691-you] Perhaps [you]_3691-you have read the figures wrong - it may be two thousand ! " "_[3691-you] It is written in letters , not figures , - twenty thousand . " [I]_3691-you again felt rather like [an individual of but average gastronomical powers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for a hundred]_{7293-an individual of but average gastronomical powers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for a hundred} . [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} rose now and put [his]_{177-st. john} cloak on . "_[3691-you] If it were not such a very wild night , " [he]_{177-st. john} said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would send [Hannah]_233-mary down to keep [you]_3691-you company : [you]_3691-you look too desperately miserable to be left alone . But [Hannah]_233-mary , [poor woman]_{3693-poor woman} ! could not stride the drifts so well as [I]_0-i : [her]_233-mary legs are not quite so long : so [I]_0-i must e'en leave [you]_3691-you to [your]_3691-you sorrows . Good - night . " [He]_{177-st. john} was lifting the latch : a sudden thought occurred to [me]_{376-mr. briggs} . "_{[376-mr. briggs]} Stop one minute ! " [I]_{376-mr. briggs} cried . "_{[376-mr. briggs]} Well ? " "_{[376-mr. briggs]} It puzzles [me]_0-i to know why [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} wrote to [you]_3691-you about [me]_0-i ; or how [he]_{376-mr. briggs} knew [you]_3691-you , or could fancy that [you]_3691-you , living in such [an out - of - the - way place]_{3694-an out - of - the - way place} , had the power to aid in [my]_0-i discovery . " "_[3691-you] Oh ! [I]_0-i am [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , " [he]_{177-st. john} said ; "_{[4606-a clergyman]} and [the clergy]_{3696-the clergy} are often appealed to about odd matters . " Again the latch rattled . "_{[3696-the clergy]} No ; that does not satisfy [me]_0-i ! " [I]_{3696-the clergy} exclaimed : and indeed there was something in the hasty and unexplanatory reply which , instead of allaying , piqued [my]_{3696-the clergy} curiosity more than ever . "_{[3696-the clergy]} It is a very strange piece of business , " [I]_{3696-the clergy} added ; "_{[3696-the clergy]} [I]_0-i must know more about it . " "_[0-i] Another time . " "_[0-i] No ; to - night ! - to - night ! " and as [he]_{177-st. john} turned from the door , [I]_0-i placed [myself]_0-i between it and [him]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} looked rather embarrassed . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i certainly shall not go till [you]_0-i have told [me]_0-i all , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would rather not just now . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i shall ! - [you]_0-i must ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would rather [Diana]_400-diana or [Mary]_233-mary informed [you]_0-i . " Of course these objections wrought [my]_233-mary eagerness to a climax : gratified it must be , and that without delay ; and [I]_233-mary told [him]_0-i so . "_[233-mary] But [I]_0-i apprised [you]_0-i that [I]_0-i was [a hard man]_{3697-a hard man} , " said [he]_0-i , "_{[3697-a hard man]} difficult to persuade . " "_{[3697-a hard man]} And [I]_0-i am [a hard woman]_{3698-a hard woman} , - impossible to put off . " "_{[3698-a hard woman]} And then , " [he]_0-i pursued , "_{[3698-a hard woman]} [I]_0-i am cold : no fervour infects [me]_0-i . " "_{[3698-a hard woman]} Whereas [I]_0-i am hot , and fire dissolves ice . The blaze there has thawed all the snow from [your]_0-i cloak ; by the same token , it has streamed on to [my]_0-i floor , and made it like [a trampled street]_{3699-a trampled street} . As [you]_0-i hope ever to be forgiven , [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , the high crime and misdemeanour of spoiling [a sanded kitchen]_{3700-a sanded kitchen} , tell [me]_0-i what [I]_0-i wish to know . " "_[0-i] Well , then , " [he]_0-i said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i yield ; if not to [your]_0-i earnestness , to [your]_0-i perseverance : as stone is worn by continual dropping . Besides , [you]_0-i must know some day , - as well now as later . [Your]_0-i name is [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] Of course : that was all settled before . " "_[146-jane] [You]_0-i are not , perhaps , aware that [I]_0-i am [[your]_0-i namesake]_{3701-your namesake} ? - that [I]_0-i was christened [St. John Eyre Rivers]_360-john ? " "_[360-john] No , indeed ! [I]_0-i remember now seeing the letter E. comprised in [your]_0-i initials written in books [you]_0-i have at different times lent [me]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i never asked for what name it stood . But what then ? Surely - " [I]_0-i stopped : [I]_0-i could not trust [myself]_0-i to entertain , much less to express , the thought that rushed upon [me]_0-i - that embodied itself , - that , in a second , stood out a strong , solid probability . [Circumstances]_{434-circumstances} knit themselves , fitted themselves , shot into order : the chain that had been lying hitherto a formless lump of links was drawn out straight , - every ring was perfect , the connection complete . [I]_0-i knew , by instinct , how the matter stood , before [St. John]_360-john had said another word ; but [I]_0-i can not expect [the reader]_{947-the reader} to have the same intuitive perception , so [I]_0-i must repeat [his]_{947-the reader} explanation . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i mother]_{612-my mother} 's name was [Eyre]_360-john ; [she]_{612-my mother} had [two brothers]_{3703-two brothers} ; [one [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , who married [Miss Jane Reed]_243-jane , of [Gateshead]_20-gateshead]_{3704-one a clergyman , who married miss jane reed , of gateshead} ; [the other]_{5683-the other} , [John Eyre]_360-john , Esq . , [merchant]_{6520-merchant} , late of [Funchal]_124-funchal , [Madeira]_245-madeira . [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} , being [[Mr. Eyre]_245-madeira 's solicitor]_{3708-mr. eyre 's solicitor} , wrote to [us]_3709-us last August to inform [us]_3709-us of [[our]_3709-us uncle]_{3528-our uncle} 's death , and to say that [he]_{3528-our uncle} had left [[his]_{3528-our uncle} property]_{3711-his property} to [[[his]_{3528-our uncle} brother]_{5216-his brother} [[the clergyman]_{6499-the clergyman} 's orphan daughter]_{3715-the clergyman 's orphan daughter} , overlooking [us]_3709-us , in consequence of a quarrel , never forgiven , between [him]_{3528-our uncle} and [[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father}]_{3713-his brother the clergyman 's orphan daughter , overlooking us , in consequence of a quarrel , never forgiven , between him and my father} . [He]_{3528-our uncle} wrote again a few weeks since , to intimate that [the heiress]_{7163-the heiress} was lost , and asking if [we]_3709-us knew anything of [her]_{7163-the heiress} . A name casually written on a slip of paper has enabled [me]_0-i to find [her]_{7163-the heiress} out . [You]_3718-you know the rest . " Again [he]_{3528-our uncle} was going , but [I]_3718-you set [my]_3718-you back against the door . "_[3718-you] Do let [me]_0-i speak , " [I]_3718-you said ; "_[3718-you] let [me]_0-i have one moment to draw breath and reflect . " [I]_0-i paused - [he]_{3528-our uncle} stood before [me]_0-i , hat in hand , looking composed enough . [I]_0-i resumed - "_[0-i] [[Your]_3718-you mother]_{4582-your mother} was [[[my]_0-i father]_{682-my father} 's sister]_{3721-my father 's sister} ? " "_{[4582-your mother]} Yes . " "_{[4582-your mother]} [[My]_0-i aunt]_{4392-my aunt} , consequently ? " [He]_{3528-our uncle} bowed . "_{[4582-your mother]} [[My]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} [John]_360-john was [[your]_3718-you uncle]_{6081-your uncle} [John]_360-john ? [You]_3718-you , [Diana]_400-diana , and [Mary]_233-mary are [[[his]_{4421-my uncle} sister]_{5987-his sister} 's children , as [I]_0-i am [[his]_{4421-my uncle} brother]_{5216-his brother} 's child]_{3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child} ? " "_{[3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child]} Undeniably . " "_{[3726-his sister 's children , as i am his brother 's child]} [You]_3728-you three , then , are [[my]_0-i cousins]_{729-my cousins} ; half [our]_3730-our blood on each side flows from the same source ? " "_[3730-our] [We]_3730-our are [cousins]_4391-cousins ; yes . " [I]_0-i surveyed [him]_{4421-my uncle} . It seemed [I]_0-i had found [a brother]_{5331-a brother} : one [I]_0-i could be proud of , - one [I]_0-i could love ; and [two sisters]_{7296-two sisters} , whose qualities were such , that , when [I]_0-i knew [them]_{7296-two sisters} but as [mere strangers]_{7297-mere strangers} , [they]_{7296-two sisters} had inspired [me]_0-i with genuine affection and admiration . [The two girls , on whom , kneeling down on the wet ground]_{7298-the two girls , on whom , kneeling down on the wet ground} , and looking through the low , latticed window of [Moor House kitchen]_{104-moor house} , [I]_0-i had gazed with so bitter a mixture of interest and despair , were [[my]_0-i near kinswomen]_{7299-my near kinswomen} ; and [the young and stately gentleman who had found [me]_0-i almost dying at [his]_{4421-my uncle} threshold]_{7300-the young and stately gentleman who had found me almost dying at his threshold} was [my]_0-i blood relation . Glorious discovery to [a lonely wretch]_{7301-a lonely wretch} ! This was wealth indeed ! - wealth to the heart ! - a mine of pure , genial affections . This was a blessing , bright , vivid , and exhilarating ; - not like the ponderous gift of gold : rich and welcome enough in its way , but sobering from its weight . [I]_0-i now clapped [my]_0-i hands in sudden joy - [my]_0-i pulse bounded , [my]_0-i veins thrilled . "_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i am glad ! - [I]_0-i am glad ! " [I]_0-i exclaimed . [St. John]_360-john smiled . "_[0-i] Did [I]_0-i not say [you]_0-i neglected essential points to pursue trifles ? " [he]_360-john asked . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i were serious when [I]_0-i told [you]_0-i [you]_0-i had got a fortune ; and now , for a matter of no moment , [you]_0-i are excited . " "_[0-i] What can [you]_0-i mean ? It may be of no moment to [you]_0-i ; [you]_0-i have [sisters]_545-sisters and do n't care for [a cousin]_{3733-a cousin} ; but [I]_0-i had [nobody]_4628-nobody ; and now [three relations]_{3735-three relations} , - or two , if [you]_0-i do n't choose to be counted , - are born into [my]_0-i world full - grown . [I]_0-i say again , [I]_0-i am glad ! " [I]_0-i walked fast through [the room]_{535-the room} : [I]_0-i stopped , half suffocated with the thoughts that rose faster than [I]_0-i could receive , comprehend , settle them:- thoughts of what might , could , would , and should be , and that ere long . [I]_0-i looked at the blank wall : it seemed a sky thick with ascending stars , - every one lit [me]_0-i to a purpose or delight . [Those who had saved [my]_0-i life]_{7303-those who had saved my life} , whom , till this hour , [I]_0-i had loved barrenly , [I]_0-i could now benefit . [They]_{7303-those who had saved my life} were under a yoke , - [I]_0-i could free [them]_{7303-those who had saved my life} : [they]_{7303-those who had saved my life} were scattered , - [I]_0-i could reunite [them]_{7303-those who had saved my life} : the independence , the affluence which was [mine]_0-i , might be [theirs]_{7303-those who had saved my life} too . Were [we]_7304-we not four ? Twenty thousand pounds shared equally would be five thousand each , justice - enough and to spare : justice would be done , - mutual happiness secured . Now the wealth did not weigh on [me]_0-i : now it was not a mere bequest of coin , - it was a legacy of life , hope , enjoyment . How [I]_0-i looked while these ideas were taking [my]_0-i spirit by storm , [I]_0-i can not tell ; but [I]_0-i perceived soon that [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} had placed a chair behind [me]_0-i , and was gently attempting to make [me]_0-i sit down on it . [He]_{177-st. john} also advised [me]_0-i to be composed ; [I]_0-i scorned the insinuation of helplessness and distraction , shook off [his]_{177-st. john} hand , and began to walk about again . "_[0-i] Write to [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary to - morrow , " [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] and tell [them]_3736-they to come [home]_509-home directly . [Diana]_400-diana said [they]_3736-they would both consider [themselves]_3736-they rich with a thousand pounds , so with five thousand [they]_3736-they will do very well . " "_[400-diana] Tell [me]_0-i where [I]_0-i can get [you]_3738-you a glass of water , " said [St. John]_{177-st. john} ; "_[400-diana] [you]_3738-you must really make an effort to tranquillise [your]_3738-you feelings . " "_[3738-you] Nonsense ! and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on [you]_3738-you ? Will it keep [you]_3738-you in [England]_21-england , induce [you]_3738-you to marry [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} , and settle down like [an ordinary mortal]_{3739-an ordinary mortal} ? " "_[3738-you] [You]_3738-you wander : [your]_3738-you head becomes confused . [I]_0-i have been too abrupt in communicating the news ; it has excited [you]_3738-you beyond [your]_3738-you strength . " "_{[177-st. john]} [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} ! [you]_{177-st. john} quite put [me]_0-i out of patience : [I]_0-i am rational enough ; it is [you]_{177-st. john} who misunderstand , or rather who affect to misunderstand . " "_{[177-st. john]} Perhaps , if [you]_{177-st. john} explained [yourself]_{177-st. john} a little more fully , [I]_0-i should comprehend better . " "_{[177-st. john]} Explain ! What is there to explain ? [You]_3738-you can not fail to see that twenty thousand pounds , the sum in question , divided equally between [the nephew]_{3740-the nephew} and [three nieces of [[our]_3742-our uncle]_{3528-our uncle}]_{3741-three nieces of our uncle} , will give five thousand to each ? What [I]_0-i want is , that [you]_3738-you should write to [[your]_3738-you sisters]_{4419-your sisters} and tell [them]_{4419-your sisters} of the fortune that has accrued to [them]_{4419-your sisters} . " "_[3738-you] To [you]_{177-st. john} , [you]_{177-st. john} mean . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have intimated [my]_0-i view of the case : [I]_0-i am incapable of taking any other . [I]_0-i am not brutally selfish , blindly unjust , or fiendishly ungrateful . Besides , [I]_0-i am resolved [I]_0-i will have [a home]_{4344-a home} and connections . [I]_0-i like [Moor House]_{104-moor house} , and [I]_0-i will live at [Moor House]_{104-moor house} ; [I]_0-i like [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary , and [I]_0-i will attach [myself]_0-i for life to [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary . It would please and benefit [me]_0-i to have five thousand pounds ; it would torment and oppress [me]_0-i to have twenty thousand ; which , moreover , could never be [mine]_0-i in justice , though it might in law . [I]_0-i abandon to [you]_3746-you , then , what is absolutely superfluous to [me]_0-i . Let there be no opposition , and no discussion about it ; let [us]_3747-us agree amongst [each other]_{724-each other} , and decide the point at once . " "_[3746-you] This is acting on first impulses ; [you]_3746-you must take days to consider such a matter , ere [your]_3746-you word can be regarded as valid . " "_[3746-you] Oh ! if all [you]_3746-you doubt is [my]_0-i sincerity , [I]_0-i am easy : [you]_3746-you see the justice of the case ? " "_[3746-you] [I]_0-i DO see a certain justice ; but it is contrary to all custom . Besides , the entire fortune is [your]_3746-you right : [[my]_0-i uncle]_{4421-my uncle} gained it by [his]_{4421-my uncle} own efforts ; [he]_{4421-my uncle} was free to leave it to whom [he]_{4421-my uncle} would : [he]_{4421-my uncle} left it to [you]_3746-you . After all , justice permits [you]_3746-you to keep it : [you]_3746-you may , with a clear conscience , consider it absolutely [your]_3746-you own . " "_[0-i] With [me]_0-i , " said [I]_0-i , "_[0-i] it is fully as much a matter of feeling as of conscience : [I]_0-i must indulge [my]_0-i feelings ; [I]_0-i so seldom have had an opportunity of doing so . Were [you]_3746-you to argue , object , and annoy [me]_0-i for a year , [I]_0-i could not forego the delicious pleasure of which [I]_0-i have caught a glimpse - that of repaying , in part , a mighty obligation , and winning to [myself]_0-i [lifelong friends]_{3750-lifelong friends} . " "_[3746-you] [You]_3746-you think so now , " rejoined [St. John]_{177-st. john} , "_[3746-you] because [you]_3746-you do not know what it is to possess , nor consequently to enjoy wealth : [you]_3746-you can not form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give [you]_3746-you ; of the place it would enable [you]_3746-you to take in society ; of the prospects it would open to [you]_3746-you : [you]_3746-you can not - " "_[3746-you] And [you]_3746-you , " [I]_3746-you interrupted , "_[3746-you] can not at all imagine the craving [I]_0-i have for fraternal and sisterly love . [I]_0-i never had [a home]_{4344-a home} , [I]_0-i never had [brothers]_{4388-brothers} or [sisters]_545-sisters ; [I]_0-i must and will have [them]_3754-them now : [you]_3746-you are not reluctant to admit [me]_0-i and own [me]_0-i , are [you]_3746-you ? " "_[243-jane] [Jane]_243-jane , [I]_0-i will be [[your]_243-jane brother]_{3298-your brother} - [[my]_0-i sisters]_{3437-my sisters} will be [[your]_243-jane sisters]_{4419-your sisters} - without stipulating for this sacrifice of [your]_243-jane just rights . " "_{[435-brother]} [Brother]_435-brother ? Yes ; at the distance of a thousand leagues ! [Sisters]_545-sisters ? Yes ; slaving amongst [strangers]_{1704-strangers} ! [I]_0-i , wealthy - gorged with gold [I]_0-i never earned and do not merit ! [You]_243-jane , penniless ! Famous equality and fraternisation ! Close union ! Intimate attachment ! " "_[243-jane] But , [Jane]_243-jane , [your]_243-jane aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means [you]_243-jane contemplate : [you]_243-jane may marry . " "_[0-i] Nonsense , again ! Marry ! [I]_0-i do n't want to marry , and never shall marry . " "_[0-i] That is saying too much : such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the excitement under which [you]_243-jane labour . " "_[0-i] It is not saying too much : [I]_0-i know what [I]_0-i feel , and how averse are [my]_0-i inclinations to the bare thought of marriage . [No one]_{593-no one} would take [me]_0-i for love ; and [I]_0-i will not be regarded in the light of a mere money speculation . And [I]_0-i do not want [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} - unsympathising , alien , different from [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i want [my]_0-i kindred : those with whom [I]_0-i have full fellow - feeling . Say again [you]_243-jane will be [[my]_0-i brother]_{3082-my brother} : when [you]_243-jane uttered the words [I]_0-i was satisfied , happy ; repeat them , if [you]_243-jane can , repeat them sincerely . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i can . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i have always loved [[my]_0-i own sisters]_{3763-my own sisters} ; and [I]_0-i know on what [my]_0-i affection for [them]_{3763-my own sisters} is grounded , - respect for [their]_{3763-my own sisters} worth and admiration of [their]_{3763-my own sisters} talents . [You]_243-jane too have principle and mind : [your]_243-jane tastes and habits resemble [Diana]_400-diana 's and [Mary]_233-mary 's ; [your]_243-jane presence is always agreeable to [me]_0-i ; in [your]_243-jane conversation [I]_0-i have already for some time found a salutary solace . [I]_0-i feel [I]_0-i can easily and naturally make room in [my]_0-i heart for [you]_243-jane , as [[my]_0-i third and youngest sister]_{3764-my third and youngest sister} . " "_[243-jane] Thank [you]_243-jane : that contents [me]_0-i for to - night . Now [you]_243-jane had better go ; for if [you]_243-jane stay longer , [you]_243-jane will perhaps irritate [me]_0-i afresh by some mistrustful scruple . " "_[243-jane] And [the school]_{4461-the school} , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ? It must now be shut up , [I]_0-i suppose ? " "_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i will retain [my]_0-i post of [mistress]_{6957-mistress} till [you]_243-jane get a substitute . " [He]_0-i smiled approbation : [we]_7305-we shook hands , and [he]_0-i took leave . [I]_0-i need not narrate in detail the further struggles [I]_0-i had , and arguments [I]_0-i used , to get matters regarding the legacy settled as [I]_0-i wished . [My]_0-i task was a very hard one ; but , as [I]_0-i was absolutely resolved - as [[my]_0-i cousins]_{729-my cousins} saw at length that [my]_0-i mind was really and immutably fixed on making a just division of the property - as [they]_{729-my cousins} must in [their]_{729-my cousins} own hearts have felt the equity of the intention ; and must , besides , have been innately conscious that in [my]_0-i place [they]_{729-my cousins} would have done precisely what [I]_0-i wished to do - [they]_{729-my cousins} yielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration . [The judges chosen]_{7307-the judges chosen} were [Mr. Oliver]_{399-mr. oliver} and [an able lawyer]_{7308-an able lawyer} : both coincided in [my]_0-i opinion : [I]_0-i carried [my]_0-i point . The instruments of transfer were drawn out : [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [Diana]_400-diana , [Mary]_233-mary , and [I]_0-i , [each]_898-each became possessed of a competency . CHAPTER XXXIV It was near Christmas by the time all was settled : the season of general holiday approached . [I]_0-i now closed [Morton school]_105-morton , taking care that the parting should not be barren on [my]_0-i side . Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully ; and to give somewhat when [we]_7310-we have largely received , is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the sensations . [I]_0-i had long felt with pleasure that [many of [[my]_0-i rustic scholars]_{7312-my rustic scholars}]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} liked [me]_0-i , and when [we]_7310-we parted , that consciousness was confirmed : [they]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} manifested [their]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} affection plainly and strongly . Deep was [my]_0-i gratification to find [I]_0-i had really a place in [their]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} unsophisticated hearts : [I]_0-i promised [them]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} that never a week should pass in future that [I]_0-i did not visit [them]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} , and give [them]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} an hour 's teaching in [[their]_{7311-many of my rustic scholars} school]_{7313-their school} . [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} came up as , having seen the classes , now numbering [sixty girls]_{7314-sixty girls} , file out before [me]_0-i , and locked the door , [I]_0-i stood with the key in [my]_0-i hand , exchanging a few words of special farewell with [some half - dozen of [[my]_0-i best scholars]_{7316-my best scholars}]_{7315-some half - dozen of my best scholars} : as decent , [respectable , modest , and well - informed young women]_{7317-respectable , modest , and well - informed young women} as could be found in [the ranks of [the British peasantry]_{7319-the british peasantry}]_{7318-the ranks of the british peasantry} . And that is saying a great deal ; for after all , [the British peasantry]_{7319-the british peasantry} are the best taught , best mannered , most self - respecting of any in [Europe]_75-europe : since those days [I]_0-i have seen [paysannes]_{7321-paysannes} and [Bauerinnen]_{436-bauerinnen} ; and the best of [them]_{7319-the british peasantry} seemed to [me]_0-i ignorant , coarse , and besotted , compared with [[my]_0-i Morton girls]_{7322-my morton girls} . "_[0-i] Do [you]_3767-you consider [you]_3767-you have got [your]_3767-you reward for a season of exertion ? " asked [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} , when [they]_{7322-my morton girls} were gone . "_[3767-you] Does not the consciousness of having done some real good in [your]_3767-you day and generation give pleasure ? " "_[3767-you] Doubtless . " "_[3767-you] And [you]_3767-you have only toiled a few months ! Would not a life devoted to the task of regenerating [your]_3767-you race be well spent ? " "_[3767-you] Yes , " [I]_3767-you said ; "_[3767-you] but [I]_0-i could not go on for ever so : [I]_0-i want to enjoy [my]_0-i own faculties as well as to cultivate those of [other people]_{2855-other people} . [I]_0-i must enjoy them now ; do n't recall either [my]_0-i mind or body to [the school]_{4461-the school} ; [I]_0-i am out of it and disposed for full holiday . " [He]_3767-you looked grave . "_[0-i] What now ? What sudden eagerness is this [you]_3767-you evince ? What are [you]_3767-you going to do ? " "_[3767-you] To be active : as active as [I]_0-i can . And first [I]_0-i must beg [you]_3767-you to set [Hannah]_233-mary at liberty , and get [somebody else]_{3770-somebody else} to wait on [you]_3767-you . " "_{[3770-somebody else]} Do [you]_3767-you want [her]_233-mary ? " "_[3767-you] Yes , to go with [me]_0-i to [Moor House]_{104-moor house} . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary will be at [home]_509-home in a week , and [I]_0-i want to have everything in order against [their]_3772-their arrival . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i understand . [I]_0-i thought [you]_3767-you were for flying off on some excursion . It is better so : [Hannah]_233-mary shall go with [you]_3767-you . " "_[233-mary] Tell [her]_233-mary to be ready by to - morrow then ; and here is the schoolroom key : [I]_0-i will give [you]_3767-you the key of [[my]_0-i cottage]_{7119-my cottage} in the morning . " [He]_0-i took it . "_[0-i] [You]_3767-you give it up very gleefully , " said [he]_0-i ; "_[3767-you] [I]_0-i do n't quite understand [your]_3767-you light - heartedness , because [I]_0-i can not tell what employment [you]_3767-you propose to [yourself]_3767-you as a substitute for the one [you]_3767-you are relinquishing . What aim , what purpose , what ambition in life have [you]_3767-you now ? " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i first aim will be to CLEAN DOWN do [you]_3767-you comprehend the full force of the expression ? - to CLEAN DOWN [Moor House]_{104-moor house} from [chamber]_3774-chamber to [cellar]_3775-cellar ; [my]_0-i next to rub it up with bees - wax , oil , and an indefinite number of cloths , till it glitters again ; [my]_0-i third , to arrange every chair , table , bed , carpet , with mathematical precision ; afterwards [I]_0-i shall go near to ruin [you]_3767-you in coals and peat to keep up good fires in [every room]_{5850-every room} ; and lastly , the two days preceding that on which [[your]_3767-you sisters]_{4419-your sisters} are expected will be devoted by [Hannah]_233-mary and [me]_0-i to such a beating of eggs , sorting of currants , grating of spices , compounding of Christmas cakes , chopping up of materials for mince - pies , and solemnising of other culinary rites , as words can convey but an inadequate notion of to the uninitiated like [you]_3767-you . [My]_0-i purpose , in short , is to have all things in an absolutely perfect state of readiness for [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary before next Thursday ; and [my]_0-i ambition is to give [them]_{4419-your sisters} a beau - ideal of a welcome when [they]_{4419-your sisters} come . " [St. John]_{177-st. john} smiled slightly : still [he]_{177-st. john} was dissatisfied . "_[0-i] It is all very well for the present , " said [he]_{177-st. john} ; "_[0-i] but seriously , [I]_0-i trust that when the first flush of vivacity is over , [you]_3767-you will look a little higher than domestic endearments and household joys . " "_[3767-you] The best things [the world]_{484-the world} has ! " [I]_146-jane interrupted . "_[146-jane] No , [Jane]_146-jane , no : [this world]_{4664-this world} is not the scene of fruition ; do not attempt to make it so : nor of rest ; do not turn slothful . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean , on the contrary , to be busy . " "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i excuse [you]_146-jane for the present : two months ' grace [I]_0-i allow [you]_146-jane for the full enjoyment of [your]_146-jane new position , and for pleasing [yourself]_146-jane with this late - found charm of relationship ; but THEN , [I]_0-i hope [you]_146-jane will begin to look beyond [Moor House]_{104-moor house} and [Morton]_105-morton , and sisterly society , and the selfish calm and sensual comfort of civilised affluence . [I]_0-i hope [your]_146-jane energies will then once more trouble [you]_146-jane with [their]_3780-their strength . " [I]_0-i looked at [him]_{177-st. john} with surprise . "_[0-i] [St. John]_{177-st. john} , " [I]_{177-st. john} said , "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i think [you]_{177-st. john} are almost wicked to talk so . [I]_0-i am disposed to be as content as [a queen]_{3781-a queen} , and [you]_146-jane try to stir [me]_0-i up to restlessness ! To what end ? " "_[146-jane] To the end of turning to profit the talents which [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} has committed to [your]_146-jane keeping ; and of which [He]_0-i will surely one day demand a strict account . [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_0-i shall watch [you]_146-jane closely and anxiously - [I]_0-i warn [you]_146-jane of that . And try to restrain the disproportionate fervour with which [you]_146-jane throw [yourself]_146-jane into commonplace home pleasures . Do n't cling so tenaciously to ties of the flesh ; save [your]_146-jane constancy and ardour for an adequate cause ; forbear to waste them on trite transient objects . Do [you]_146-jane hear , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] Yes ; just as if [you]_146-jane were speaking Greek . [I]_0-i feel [I]_0-i have adequate cause to be happy , and [I]_0-i WILL be happy . Goodbye ! " Happy at [Moor House]_{7323-moor house} [I]_146-jane was , and hard [I]_146-jane worked ; and so did [Hannah]_233-mary : [she]_233-mary was charmed to see how jovial [I]_146-jane could be amidst the bustle of [a house]_{4534-a house} turned topsy - turvy - how [I]_146-jane could brush , and dust , and clean , and cook . And really , after a day or two of confusion worse confounded , it was delightful by degrees to invoke order from the chaos [ourselves]_{7325-ourselves} had made . [I]_146-jane had previously taken a journey to [S-]_118-s- to purchase some new furniture : [[my]_146-jane cousins]_{729-my cousins} having given [me]_146-jane [CARTE BLANCHE]_{127-carte blanche} to effect what alterations [I]_146-jane pleased , and a sum having been set aside for that purpose . [The ordinary sitting - room]_{7327-the ordinary sitting - room} and [bedrooms]_{1937-bedrooms} [I]_146-jane left much as they were : for [I]_146-jane knew [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary would derive more pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables , and chairs , and beds , than from the spectacle of the smartest innovations . Still some novelty was necessary , to give to [their]_{7327-the ordinary sitting - room} return the piquancy with which [I]_146-jane wished it to be invested . Dark handsome new carpets and curtains , an arrangement of some carefully selected antique ornaments in porcelain and bronze , new coverings , and mirrors , and dressing - cases , for the toilet tables , answered the end : they looked fresh without being glaring . [A spare parlour]_{7329-a spare parlour} and [bedroom]_7330-bedroom [I]_146-jane refurnished entirely , with old mahogany and crimson upholstery : [I]_146-jane laid canvas on [the passage]_{4815-the passage} , and carpets on the stairs . When all was finished , [I]_146-jane thought [Moor House]_{104-moor house} as complete a model of bright modest snugness within , as it was , at this season , a specimen of wintry waste and desert dreariness without . The eventful Thursday at length came . [They]_{7327-the ordinary sitting - room} were expected about dark , and ere dusk fires were lit [upstairs]_552-upstairs and below ; [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} was in perfect trim ; [Hannah]_233-mary and [I]_146-jane were dressed , and all was in readiness . [St. John]_{177-st. john} arrived first . [I]_146-jane had entreated [him]_{177-st. john} to keep quite clear of [the house]_{4322-the house} till everything was arranged : and , indeed , the bare idea of the commotion , at once sordid and trivial , going on within [its]_{4322-the house} walls sufficed to scare [him]_{177-st. john} to estrangement . [He]_{177-st. john} found [me]_146-jane in [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , watching the progress of certain cakes for tea , then baking . Approaching the hearth , [he]_{177-st. john} asked , "_[146-jane] If [I]_0-i was at last satisfied with [housemaid]_{3782-housemaid} 's work ? " [I]_3783-i answered by inviting [him]_{177-st. john} to accompany [me]_3783-i on a general inspection of the result of [my]_3783-i labours . With some difficulty , [I]_3783-i got [him]_{177-st. john} to make the tour of [the house]_{4322-the house} . [He]_{177-st. john} just looked in at the doors [I]_3783-i opened ; and when [he]_{177-st. john} had wandered [upstairs]_552-upstairs and [downstairs]_{1218-downstairs} , [he]_{177-st. john} said [I]_3783-i must have gone through a great deal of fatigue and trouble to have effected such considerable changes in so short a time : but not a syllable did [he]_{177-st. john} utter indicating pleasure in the improved aspect of [[his]_{177-st. john} abode]_{7339-his abode} . This silence damped [me]_3783-i . [I]_3783-i thought perhaps the alterations had disturbed some old associations [he]_{177-st. john} valued . [I]_3783-i inquired whether this was the case : no doubt in a somewhat crest - fallen tone . "_[3783-i] Not at all ; [he]_3783-i had , on the contrary , remarked that [I]_0-i had scrupulously respected every association : [he]_3783-i feared , indeed , [I]_0-i must have bestowed more thought on the matter than it was worth . How many minutes , for instance , had [I]_0-i devoted to studying the arrangement of [this very room]_{3784-this very room} ? - By - the - bye , could [I]_0-i tell [him]_3783-i where such a book was ? " [I]_0-i showed [him]_{177-st. john} the volume on the shelf : [he]_{177-st. john} took it down , and withdrawing to [his]_{177-st. john} accustomed window recess , [he]_{177-st. john} began to read it . Now , [I]_0-i did not like this , [reader]_496-reader . [St. John]_{177-st. john} was [a good man]_{4605-a good man} ; but [I]_0-i began to feel [he]_{177-st. john} had spoken truth of [himself]_{177-st. john} when [he]_{177-st. john} said [he]_{177-st. john} was hard and cold . The humanities and amenities of life had no attraction for [him]_{177-st. john} - its peaceful enjoyments no charm . Literally , [he]_{177-st. john} lived only to aspire - after what was good and great , certainly ; but still [he]_{177-st. john} would never rest , nor approve of others resting round [him]_{177-st. john} . As [I]_0-i looked at [his]_{177-st. john} lofty forehead , still and pale as a white stone - at [his]_{177-st. john} fine lineaments fixed in study - [I]_0-i comprehended all at once that [he]_{177-st. john} would hardly make [a good husband]_{6406-a good husband} : that it would be a trying thing to be [[his]_{177-st. john} wife]_{4986-his wife} . [I]_0-i understood , as by inspiration , the nature of [his]_{177-st. john} love for [Miss Oliver]_{417-miss oliver} ; [I]_0-i agreed with [him]_{177-st. john} that it was but a love of the senses . [I]_0-i comprehended how [he]_{177-st. john} should despise [himself]_{177-st. john} for the feverish influence it exercised over [him]_{177-st. john} ; how [he]_{177-st. john} should wish to stifle and destroy it ; how [he]_{177-st. john} should mistrust its ever conducting permanently to [his]_{177-st. john} happiness or [hers]_{417-miss oliver} . [I]_0-i saw [he]_{177-st. john} was of the material from which nature hews [[her]_{417-miss oliver} heroes]_{7344-her heroes} - [Christian and Pagan]_{7345-christian and pagan} - [[her]_{417-miss oliver} lawgivers]_{7346-her lawgivers} , [[her]_{417-miss oliver} statesmen]_{7347-her statesmen} , [[her]_{417-miss oliver} conquerors]_{7348-her conquerors} : a steadfast bulwark for great interests to rest upon ; but , at the fireside , too often a cold cumbrous column , gloomy and out of place . "_[0-i] [This parlour]_{3785-this parlour} is not [his]_3786-his sphere , " [I]_0-i reflected : "_[0-i] [the Himalayan ridge]_{3787-the himalayan ridge} or [Caffre]_128-caffre bush , even the plague - cursed [Guinea Coast swamp]_{129-guinea coast swamp} would suit [him]_3786-his better . Well may [he]_3786-his eschew the calm of domestic life ; it is not [his]_3786-his element : there [his]_3786-his faculties stagnate - they can not develop or appear to advantage . It is in scenes of strife and danger - where courage is proved , and energy exercised , and fortitude tasked - that [he]_3786-his will speak and move , [the leader and superior]_{3788-the leader and superior} . [A merry child]_{3789-a merry child} would have the advantage of [him]_3786-his on this hearth . [He]_3786-his is right to choose [a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} 's career - [I]_0-i see it now . " "_[3791-they] [They]_3791-they are coming ! [they]_3791-they are coming ! " cried [Hannah]_233-mary , throwing open the parlour door . At the same moment [old Carlo]_414-carlo barked joyfully . Out [I]_{3792-a poor lad} ran . It was now dark ; but a rumbling of wheels was audible . [Hannah]_233-mary soon had a lantern lit . [The vehicle]_{1356-the vehicle} had stopped at [the wicket]_{2741-the wicket} ; [the driver]_{1393-the driver} opened the door : first [one well - known form]_{7352-one well - known form} , then another , stepped out . In a minute [I]_{3792-a poor lad} had [my]_{3792-a poor lad} face under [their]_3791-they bonnets , in contact first with [Mary]_233-mary 's soft cheek , then with [Diana]_400-diana 's flowing curls . [They]_3791-they laughed - kissed [me]_{3792-a poor lad} - then [Hannah]_233-mary : patted [Carlo]_414-carlo , who was half wild with delight ; asked eagerly if all was well ; and being assured in the affirmative , hastened into [the house]_{4322-the house} . [They]_3791-they were stiff with [their]_3791-they long and jolting drive from [Whitcross]_99-whitcross , and chilled with the frosty night air ; but [their]_3791-they pleasant countenances expanded to the cheerful firelight . While [the driver]_{1393-the driver} and [Hannah]_233-mary brought in the boxes , [they]_3791-they demanded [St. John]_{177-st. john} . At this moment [he]_{177-st. john} advanced from [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} . [They]_3791-they both threw [their]_3791-they arms round [his]_{177-st. john} neck at once . [He]_{177-st. john} gave [each one]_{7356-each one} quiet kiss , said in a low tone a few words of welcome , stood a while to be talked to , and then , intimating that [he]_{177-st. john} supposed [they]_3791-they would soon rejoin [him]_{177-st. john} in [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} , withdrew there as to [a place of refuge]_{7358-a place of refuge} . [I]_{3792-a poor lad} had lit [their]_3791-they candles to go [upstairs]_552-upstairs , but [Diana]_400-diana had first to give hospitable orders respecting [the driver]_{1393-the driver} ; this done , both followed [me]_{3792-a poor lad} . [They]_3791-they were delighted with the renovation and decorations of [[their]_3791-they rooms]_{1971-their rooms} ; with the new drapery , and fresh carpets , and rich tinted china vases : [they]_3791-they expressed [their]_3791-they gratification ungrudgingly . [I]_{3792-a poor lad} had the pleasure of feeling that [my]_{3792-a poor lad} arrangements met [their]_3791-they wishes exactly , and that what [I]_{3792-a poor lad} had done added a vivid charm to [their]_3791-they joyous return [home]_509-home . Sweet was that evening . [[My]_{3792-a poor lad} cousins]_{729-my cousins} , full of exhilaration , were so eloquent in narrative and comment , that [their]_{729-my cousins} fluency covered [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's taciturnity : [he]_{177-st. john} was sincerely glad to see [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} ; but in [their]_{729-my cousins} glow of fervour and flow of joy [he]_{177-st. john} could not sympathise . The event of the day - that is , the return of [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary - pleased [him]_{177-st. john} ; but the accompaniments of that event , the glad tumult , the garrulous glee of reception irked [him]_{177-st. john} : [I]_{3792-a poor lad} saw [he]_{177-st. john} wished the calmer morrow was come . In the very meridian of the night 's enjoyment , about an hour after tea , a rap was heard at the door . [Hannah]_233-mary entered with the intimation that "_{[3792-a poor lad]} [a poor lad]_{3792-a poor lad} was come , at that unlikely time , to fetch [Mr. Rivers]_{177-st. john} to see [[his]_{3792-a poor lad} mother]_{544-his mother} , who was drawing away . " "_{[177-st. john]} Where does [she]_{544-his mother} live , [Hannah]_233-mary ? " "_{[544-his mother]} Clear up at [Whitcross Brow]_{130-whitcross brow} , almost four miles off , and [moor and moss]_{3794-moor and moss} all the way . " "_{[3792-a poor lad]} Tell [him]_{3792-a poor lad} [I]_0-i will go . " "_{[3792-a poor lad]} [I]_0-i 'm sure , [sir]_4374-sir , [you]_4374-sir had better not . It 's the worst road to travel after dark that can be : there 's no track at all over [the bog]_{3796-the bog} . And then it is such a bitter night - the keenest wind [you]_4374-sir ever felt . [You]_4374-sir had better send word , [sir]_4374-sir , that [you]_4374-sir will be [there]_4426-there in the morning . " But [he]_4374-sir was already in [the passage]_{4815-the passage} , putting on [his]_4374-sir cloak ; and without one objection , one murmur , [he]_4374-sir departed . It was then nine o'clock : [he]_4374-sir did not return till midnight . Starved and tired enough [he]_4374-sir was : but [he]_4374-sir looked happier than when [he]_4374-sir set out . [He]_4374-sir had performed an act of duty ; made an exertion ; felt [his]_4374-sir own strength to do and deny , and was on better terms with [himself]_4374-sir . [I]_4374-sir am afraid the whole of the ensuing week tried [his]_4374-sir patience . It was Christmas week : [we]_7366-we took to no settled employment , but spent it in a sort of merry domestic dissipation . The air of [the moors]_{7054-the moors} , the freedom of [home]_509-home , the dawn of prosperity , acted on [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary 's spirits like some life - giving elixir : [they]_7369-they were gay from morning till noon , and from noon till night . [They]_7369-they could always talk ; and [their]_7369-they discourse , witty , pithy , original , had such charms for [me]_4374-sir , that [I]_4374-sir preferred listening to , and sharing in it , to doing anything else . [St. John]_{177-st. john} did not rebuke [our]_7366-we vivacity ; but [he]_{177-st. john} escaped from it : [he]_{177-st. john} was seldom in [the house]_{4322-the house} ; [[his]_{177-st. john} parish]_{7046-his parish} was large , [the population]_{7372-the population} scattered , and [he]_{177-st. john} found daily business in visiting [the sick]_{1203-the sick} and poor in [[its]_{7046-his parish} different districts]_{7374-its different districts} . One morning at breakfast , [Diana]_400-diana , after looking a little pensive for some minutes , asked [him]_{177-st. john} , "_[4374-sir] If [his]_3799-his plans were yet unchanged . " "_[4374-sir] Unchanged and unchangeable , " was the reply . And [he]_{177-st. john} proceeded to inform [us]_7366-we that [his]_{177-st. john} departure from [England]_21-england was now definitively fixed for the ensuing year . "_[4374-sir] And [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond ? " suggested [Mary]_233-mary , the words seeming to escape [her]_233-mary lips involuntarily : for no sooner had [she]_233-mary uttered them , than [she]_233-mary made a gesture as if wishing to recall them . [St. John]_{177-st. john} had a book in [his]_{177-st. john} hand - it was [his]_{177-st. john} unsocial custom to read at meals - [he]_{177-st. john} closed it , and looked up , "_{[425-rosamond]} [Rosamond Oliver]_425-rosamond , " said [he]_{177-st. john} , "_{[425-rosamond]} is about to be married to [Mr. Granby]_{437-mr. granby} , [one of [the best connected and most estimable residents in [S-]_118-s-]_{3801-the best connected and most estimable residents in s-} , [grandson]_{3802-grandson} and [heir to [Sir Frederic Granby]_{438-sir frederic granby}]_{3803-heir to sir frederic granby}]_{3800-one of the best connected and most estimable residents in s- , grandson and heir to sir frederic granby} : [I]_0-i had the intelligence from [[her]_425-rosamond father]_{1141-her father} yesterday . " [[His]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} looked at [each other]_{724-each other} and at [me]_{1141-her father} ; [we]_7377-we all three looked at [him]_{177-st. john} : [he]_{177-st. john} was serene as glass . "_{[1141-her father]} The match must have been got up hastily , " said [Diana]_400-diana : "_{[1141-her father]} [they]_3805-they can not have known [each other]_{724-each other} long . " "_[3805-they] But two months : [they]_3805-they met in October at the county ball at [S-]_118-s- . But where there are no obstacles to a union , as in the present case , where the connection is in every point desirable , delays are unnecessary : [they]_3805-they will be married as soon as [S- Place]_{131-s- place} , which [Sir Frederic]_{438-sir frederic granby} gives up to [them]_3805-they , can [he]_{438-sir frederic granby} refitted for [their]_3805-they reception . " The first time [I]_3807-i found [St. John]_{177-st. john} alone after this communication , [I]_3807-i felt tempted to inquire if the event distressed [him]_{177-st. john} : but [he]_{177-st. john} seemed so little to need sympathy , that , so far from venturing to offer [him]_{177-st. john} more , [I]_3807-i experienced some shame at the recollection of what [I]_3807-i had already hazarded . Besides , [I]_3807-i was out of practice in talking to [him]_{177-st. john} : [his]_{177-st. john} reserve was again frozen over , and [my]_3807-i frankness was congealed beneath it . [He]_{177-st. john} had not kept [his]_{177-st. john} promise of treating [me]_3807-i like [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} ; [he]_{177-st. john} continually made little chilling differences between [us]_7379-us , which did not at all tend to the development of cordiality : in short , now that [I]_3807-i was acknowledged [[his]_{177-st. john} kinswoman]_{7380-his kinswoman} , and lived under the same roof with [him]_{177-st. john} , [I]_3807-i felt the distance between [us]_7379-us to be far greater than when [he]_{177-st. john} had known [me]_3807-i only as [the village schoolmistress]_{7381-the village schoolmistress} . When [I]_3807-i remembered how far [I]_3807-i had once been admitted to [his]_{177-st. john} confidence , [I]_3807-i could hardly comprehend [his]_{177-st. john} present frigidity . Such being the case , [I]_3807-i felt not a little surprised when [he]_{177-st. john} raised [his]_{177-st. john} head suddenly from the desk over which [he]_{177-st. john} was stooping , and said - "_[3807-i] [You]_3807-i see , [Jane]_146-jane , the battle is fought and the victory won . " Startled at being thus addressed , [I]_3807-i did not immediately reply : after a moment 's hesitation [I]_3807-i answered - "_[3807-i] But are [you]_3808-you sure [you]_3808-you are not in the position of [those conquerors whose triumphs have cost [them]_{3809-those conquerors whose triumphs have cost them too dear} too dear]_{3809-those conquerors whose triumphs have cost them too dear} ? Would not such another ruin [you]_3808-you ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think not ; and if [I]_0-i were , it does not much signify ; [I]_0-i shall never be called upon to contend for such another . The event of the conflict is decisive : [my]_0-i way is now clear ; [I]_0-i thank [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} for it ! " So saying , [he]_{177-st. john} returned to [his]_{177-st. john} papers and [his]_{177-st. john} silence . As [our]_7382-our mutual happiness [i.e.]_3807-i , [Diana]_400-diana 's , [Mary]_233-mary 's , and [mine]_3807-i settled into a quieter character , and [we]_7382-our resumed [our]_7382-our usual habits and regular studies , [St. John]_{177-st. john} stayed more at [home]_509-home : [he]_{177-st. john} sat with [us]_7382-our in [the same room]_{4880-the same room} , sometimes for hours together . While [Mary]_233-mary drew , [Diana]_400-diana pursued a course of encyclopaedic reading [she]_400-diana had to [my]_0-i awe and amazement undertaken , and [I]_0-i fagged away at [German]_439-german , [he]_{177-st. john} pondered a mystic lore of [his]_{177-st. john} own : that of some Eastern tongue , the acquisition of which [he]_{177-st. john} thought necessary to [his]_{177-st. john} plans . Thus engaged , [he]_{177-st. john} appeared , sitting in [[his]_{177-st. john} own recess]_{7385-his own recess} , quiet and absorbed enough ; but that blue eye of [his]_{177-st. john} had a habit of leaving the outlandish - looking grammar , and wandering over , and sometimes fixing upon [us]_7382-our , [[his]_{177-st. john} fellow - students]_{7386-his fellow - students} , with a curious intensity of observation : if caught , it would be instantly withdrawn ; yet ever and anon , it returned searchingly to [our]_7382-our table . [I]_0-i wondered what it meant : [I]_0-i wondered , too , at the punctual satisfaction [he]_{177-st. john} never failed to exhibit on an occasion that seemed to [me]_0-i of small moment , namely , [my]_0-i weekly visit to [Morton school]_105-morton ; and still more was [I]_0-i puzzled when , if the day was unfavourable , if there was snow , or rain , or high wind , and [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} urged [me]_0-i not to go , [he]_{177-st. john} would invariably make light of [their]_{4311-his sisters} solicitude , and encourage [me]_0-i to accomplish the task without regard to the elements . "_[0-i] [Jane]_146-jane is not such a weakling as [you]_3810-you would make [her]_146-jane , " [he]_{177-st. john} would say : ' [she]_146-jane can bear a mountain blast , or a shower , or a few flakes of snow , as well as any of [us]_7388-us . [Her]_146-jane constitution is both sound and elastic ; - better calculated to endure variations of climate than many more robust . "_[0-i] And when [I]_0-i returned , sometimes a good deal tired , and not a little weather - beaten , [I]_0-i never dared complain , because [I]_0-i saw that to murmur would be to vex [him]_3811-he : on all occasions fortitude pleased [him]_3811-he ; the reverse was a special annoyance . One afternoon , however , [I]_0-i got leave to stay at [home]_509-home , because [I]_0-i really had a cold . [[His]_3811-he sisters]_{4311-his sisters} were gone to [Morton]_105-morton in [my]_0-i stead : [I]_0-i sat reading [Schiller]_440-schiller ; [he]_3811-he , deciphering [his]_3811-he crabbed Oriental scrolls . As [I]_0-i exchanged a translation for an exercise , [I]_0-i happened to look [his]_3811-he way : there [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i under the influence of the ever - watchful blue eye . How long it had been searching [me]_0-i through and through , and over and over , [I]_0-i can not tell : so keen was it , and yet so cold , [I]_0-i felt for the moment superstitious - as if [I]_0-i were sitting in [the room]_{535-the room} with something uncanny . " [Jane]_146-jane , what are [you]_146-jane doing ? "_[3811-he] " Learning German . "_[3811-he] " [I]_3811-he want [you]_146-jane to give up German and learn [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} . "_[3811-he] " [You]_3811-he are not in earnest ? "_[3811-he] " In such earnest that [I]_3811-he must have it so : and [I]_3811-he will tell [you]_146-jane why . "_[3811-he] [He]_3811-he then went on to explain that [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} was the language [he]_3811-he was [himself]_3811-he at present studying ; that , as [he]_3811-he advanced , [he]_3811-he was apt to forget the commencement ; that it would assist [him]_3811-he greatly to have [a pupil with whom [he]_3811-he [might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them]_{3816-might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them} thoroughly in [his]_3811-he mind]_{3815-a pupil with whom he might again and again go over the elements , and so fix them thoroughly in his mind} ; that [his]_3811-he choice had hovered for some time between [me]_0-i and [[his]_3811-he sisters]_{4311-his sisters} ; but that [he]_3811-he had fixed on [me]_0-i because [he]_3811-he saw [I]_0-i could sit at a task the longest of the three . Would [I]_0-i do [him]_3811-he this favour ? [I]_0-i should not , perhaps , have to make the sacrifice long , as it wanted now barely three months to [his]_3811-he departure . [St. John]_{177-st. john} was not [a man to be lightly refused]_{3818-a man to be lightly refused} : [you]_3819-you felt that every impression made on [him]_{177-st. john} , either for pain or pleasure , was deep - graved and permanent . [I]_0-i consented . When [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary returned , [the former]_{5907-the former} found [[her]_{5907-the former} scholar]_{3821-her scholar} transferred from [her]_{5907-the former} to [[her]_{5907-the former} brother]_{6047-her brother} : [she]_{5907-the former} laughed , and both [she]_{5907-the former} and [Mary]_233-mary agreed that [St. John]_{177-st. john} should never have persuaded [them]_3823-them to such a step . [He]_{177-st. john} answered quietly - " [I]_{177-st. john} know it . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i found [him]_{177-st. john} a very patient , very forbearing , and yet [an exacting master]_{3824-an exacting master} : [he]_{177-st. john} expected [me]_0-i to do a great deal ; and when [I]_0-i fulfilled [his]_{177-st. john} expectations , [he]_{177-st. john} , in [his]_{177-st. john} own way , fully testified [his]_{177-st. john} approbation . By degrees , [he]_{177-st. john} acquired a certain influence over [me]_0-i that took away [my]_0-i liberty of mind : [his]_{177-st. john} praise and notice were more restraining than [his]_{177-st. john} indifference . [I]_0-i could no longer talk or laugh freely when [he]_{177-st. john} was by , because a tiresomely importunate instinct reminded [me]_0-i that vivacity at least in [me]_0-i was distasteful to [him]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i was so fully aware that only serious moods and occupations were acceptable , that in [his]_{177-st. john} presence every effort to sustain or follow any other became vain : [I]_0-i fell under a freezing spell . When [he]_{177-st. john} said " go , "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i went ; " come , "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i came ; " do this , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did it . But [I]_0-i did not love [my]_0-i servitude : [I]_0-i wished , many a time , [he]_{177-st. john} had continued to neglect [me]_0-i . One evening when , at bedtime , [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} and [I]_0-i stood round [him]_{177-st. john} , bidding [him]_{177-st. john} good - night , [he]_{177-st. john} kissed each of [them]_{4311-his sisters} , as was [his]_{177-st. john} custom ; and , as was equally [his]_{177-st. john} custom , [he]_{177-st. john} gave [me]_0-i [his]_{177-st. john} hand . [Diana]_400-diana , who chanced to be in a frolicsome humour [SHE]_400-diana was not painfully controlled by [his]_{177-st. john} will ; for [hers]_400-diana , in another way , was as strong , exclaimed - " [St. John]_{177-st. john} ! [you]_{177-st. john} used to call [Jane]_146-jane [[your]_{177-st. john} third sister]_{7389-your third sister} , but [you]_{177-st. john} do n't treat [her]_146-jane as such : [you]_{177-st. john} should kiss [her]_146-jane too . "_[400-diana] [She]_400-diana pushed [me]_0-i towards [him]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i thought [Diana]_400-diana very provoking , and felt uncomfortably confused ; and while [I]_0-i was thus thinking and feeling , [St. John]_{177-st. john} bent [his]_{177-st. john} head ; [his]_{177-st. john} Greek face was brought to a level with [mine]_0-i , [his]_{177-st. john} eyes questioned [my]_0-i eyes piercingly - [he]_{177-st. john} kissed [me]_0-i . There are no such things as marble kisses or ice kisses , or [I]_0-i should say [[my]_0-i ecclesiastical cousin]_{3826-my ecclesiastical cousin} 's salute belonged to one of [these classes]_{3827-these classes} ; but there may be experiment kisses , and [his]_{177-st. john} was an experiment kiss . When given , [he]_{177-st. john} viewed [me]_0-i to learn the result ; it was not striking : [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i did not blush ; perhaps [I]_0-i might have turned a little pale , for [I]_0-i felt as if this kiss were a seal affixed to [my]_0-i fetters . [He]_{177-st. john} never omitted the ceremony afterwards , and the gravity and quiescence with which [I]_0-i underwent it , seemed to invest it for [him]_{177-st. john} with a certain charm . As for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i daily wished more to please [him]_{177-st. john} ; but to do so , [I]_0-i felt daily more and more that [I]_0-i must disown half [my]_0-i nature , stifle half [my]_0-i faculties , wrest [my]_0-i tastes from [their]_3828-their original bent , force [myself]_0-i to the adoption of pursuits for which [I]_0-i had no natural vocation . [He]_{177-st. john} wanted to train [me]_0-i to an elevation [I]_0-i could never reach ; it racked [me]_0-i hourly to aspire to the standard [he]_{177-st. john} uplifted . The thing was as impossible as to mould [my]_0-i irregular features to [his]_{177-st. john} correct and classic pattern , to give to [my]_0-i changeable green eyes the sea - blue tint and solemn lustre of [his]_{177-st. john} own . Not [his]_{177-st. john} ascendancy alone , however , held [me]_0-i in thrall at present . Of late it had been easy enough for [me]_0-i to look sad : a cankering evil sat at [my]_0-i heart and drained [my]_0-i happiness at its source - the evil of suspense . Perhaps [you]_3829-you think [I]_0-i had forgotten [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [reader]_496-reader , amidst these changes of place and fortune . Not for a moment . [His]_{251-mr. rochester} idea was still with [me]_0-i , because it was not a vapour sunshine could disperse , nor [a sand - traced effigy storms could wash away]_{3831-a sand - traced effigy storms could wash away} ; it was a name graven on a tablet , fated to last as long as the marble it inscribed . The craving to know what had become of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} followed [me]_0-i everywhere ; when [I]_0-i was at [Morton]_105-morton , [I]_0-i re - entered [[my]_0-i cottage]_{7119-my cottage} every evening to think of that ; and now at [Moor House]_{104-moor house} , [I]_0-i sought [[my]_0-i bedroom]_{2355-my bedroom} each night to brood over it . In the course of [my]_0-i necessary correspondence with [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} about the will , [I]_0-i had inquired if [he]_{376-mr. briggs} knew anything of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's present residence and state of health ; but , as [St. John]_{177-st. john} had conjectured , [he]_{376-mr. briggs} was quite ignorant of all concerning [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_0-i then wrote to [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , entreating information on the subject . [I]_0-i had calculated with certainty on this step answering [my]_0-i end : [I]_0-i felt sure it would elicit an early answer . [I]_0-i was astonished when a fortnight passed without reply ; but when two months wore away , and day after day the post arrived and brought nothing for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i fell a prey to the keenest anxiety . [I]_0-i wrote again : there was a chance of [my]_0-i first letter having missed . Renewed hope followed renewed effort : it shone like the former for some weeks , then , like it , it faded , flickered : not a line , not a word reached [me]_0-i . When half a year wasted in vain expectancy , [my]_0-i hope died out , and then [I]_0-i felt dark indeed . A fine spring shone round [me]_0-i , which [I]_0-i could not enjoy . Summer approached ; [Diana]_400-diana tried to cheer [me]_0-i : [she]_400-diana said [I]_0-i looked ill , and wished to accompany [me]_0-i to [the sea - side]_{3834-the sea - side} . This [St. John]_{177-st. john} opposed ; [he]_{177-st. john} said [I]_0-i did not want dissipation , [I]_0-i wanted employment ; [my]_0-i present life was too purposeless , [I]_0-i required an aim ; and , [I]_0-i suppose , by way of supplying deficiencies , [he]_{177-st. john} prolonged still further [my]_0-i lessons in Hindostanee , and grew more urgent in requiring [their]_3835-their accomplishment : and [I]_0-i , like [a fool]_{1546-a fool} , never thought of resisting [him]_{177-st. john} - [I]_0-i could not resist [him]_{177-st. john} . One day [I]_0-i had come to [my]_0-i studies in lower spirits than usual ; the ebb was occasioned by a poignantly felt disappointment . [Hannah]_233-mary had told [me]_0-i in the morning there was a letter for [me]_0-i , and when [I]_0-i went down to take it , almost certain that the long - looked for tidings were vouchsafed [me]_0-i at last , [I]_0-i found only an unimportant note from [Mr. Briggs]_{376-mr. briggs} on business . The bitter check had wrung from [me]_0-i some tears ; and now , as [I]_0-i sat poring over the crabbed characters and flourishing tropes of [an Indian scribe]_{3837-an indian scribe} , [my]_0-i eyes filled again . [St. John]_{177-st. john} called [me]_0-i to [his]_{177-st. john} side to read ; in attempting to do this [my]_0-i voice failed [me]_0-i : words were lost in sobs . [He]_{177-st. john} and [I]_0-i were [the only occupants of [the parlour]_{793-the parlour}]_{3838-the only occupants of the parlour} : [Diana]_400-diana was practising [her]_400-diana music in [the drawing - room]_{513-the drawing - room} , [Mary]_233-mary was gardening - it was a very fine May day , clear , sunny , and breezy . [[My]_0-i companion]_{4906-my companion} expressed no surprise at this emotion , nor did [he]_{4906-my companion} question [me]_0-i as to its cause ; [he]_{4906-my companion} only said - " [We]_7390-we will wait a few minutes , [Jane]_146-jane , till [you]_146-jane are more composed . "_{[4906-my companion]} And while [I]_0-i smothered the paroxysm with all haste , [he]_{4906-my companion} sat calm and patient , leaning on [his]_{4906-my companion} desk , and looking like [a physician watching with the eye of science]_{3842-a physician watching with the eye of science} an expected and fully understood crisis in [a patient]_{3843-a patient} 's malady . Having stifled [my]_0-i sobs , wiped [my]_0-i eyes , and muttered something about not being very well that morning , [I]_0-i resumed [my]_0-i task , and succeeded in completing it . [St. John]_{177-st. john} put away [my]_0-i books and [his]_{177-st. john} , locked [his]_{177-st. john} desk , and said - " Now , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane shall take a walk ; and with [me]_{177-st. john} . "_{[177-st. john]} " [I]_{177-st. john} will call [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary . "_{[177-st. john]} " No ; [I]_0-i want only [one companion]_{7391-one companion} this morning , and that must be [you]_146-jane . Put on [your]_146-jane things ; go out by the kitchen - door : take [the road]_{4892-the road} towards [the head of [Marsh Glen]_{132-marsh glen}]_{7393-the head of marsh glen} : [I]_0-i will join [you]_146-jane in a moment . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know [no medium]_{3844-no medium} : [I]_0-i never in [my]_0-i life have known any medium in [my]_0-i dealings with [positive , hard characters]_{3845-positive , hard characters} , antagonistic to [my]_0-i own , between absolute submission and determined revolt . [I]_0-i have always faithfully observed the one , up to the very moment of bursting , sometimes with volcanic vehemence , into the other ; and as neither present circumstances warranted , nor [my]_0-i present mood inclined [me]_0-i to mutiny , [I]_0-i observed careful obedience to [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's directions ; and in ten minutes [I]_0-i was treading [the wild track of [the glen]_{3847-the glen}]_{3846-the wild track of the glen} , side by side with [him]_{177-st. john} . The breeze was from the west : it came over [the hills]_{7052-the hills} , sweet with scents of heath and rush ; the sky was of stainless blue ; the stream descending [the ravine]_{3849-the ravine} , swelled with past spring rains , poured along plentiful and clear , catching golden gleams from the sun , and sapphire tints from the firmament . As [we]_3850-we advanced and left [the track]_{3851-the track} , [we]_3850-we trod a soft turf , mossy fine and emerald green , minutely enamelled with a tiny white flower , and spangled with a star - like yellow blossom : [the hills]_{7052-the hills} , meantime , shut [us]_3850-we quite in ; for [the glen]_{3847-the glen} , towards [its]_{3847-the glen} head , wound to their very core . " Let [us]_3850-we rest here , "_{[177-st. john]} said [St. John]_{177-st. john} , as [we]_3850-we reached the first stragglers of a battalion of rocks , guarding [a sort of pass]_{3854-a sort of pass} , beyond which the beck rushed down [a waterfall]_{3855-a waterfall} ; and where , still a little farther , [the mountain]_{5129-the mountain} shook off turf and flower , had only heath for raiment and crag for gem - where it exaggerated [the wild to the savage]_{3857-the wild to the savage} , and exchanged the fresh for the frowning - where [it]_3858-it guarded the forlorn hope of solitude , and a last refuge for silence . [I]_0-i took a seat : [St. John]_{177-st. john} stood near [me]_0-i . [He]_{177-st. john} looked up [the pass]_{3859-the pass} and down [the hollow]_{3860-the hollow} ; [his]_{177-st. john} glance wandered away with [the stream]_{960-the stream} , and returned to traverse the unclouded heaven which coloured [it]_3862-it : [he]_{177-st. john} removed [his]_{177-st. john} hat , let the breeze stir [his]_{177-st. john} hair and kiss [his]_{177-st. john} brow . [He]_{177-st. john} seemed in communion with the genius of [the haunt]_{3863-the haunt} : with [his]_{177-st. john} eye [he]_{177-st. john} bade farewell to something . " And [I]_{177-st. john} shall see it again , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} said aloud , " in dreams when [I]_{177-st. john} sleep by [the Ganges]_{133-the ganges} : and again in a more remote hour - when another slumber overcomes [me]_{177-st. john} - on [the shore of [a darker stream]_{7395-a darker stream}]_{7394-the shore of a darker stream} ! "_{[177-st. john]} Strange words of a strange love ! [An austere patriot]_{3864-an austere patriot} 's passion for [[his]_{177-st. john} fatherland]_{3865-his fatherland} ! [He]_{177-st. john} sat down ; for half - an - hour [we]_3866-we never spoke ; neither [he]_{177-st. john} to [me]_0-i nor [I]_0-i to [him]_{177-st. john} : that interval past , [he]_{177-st. john} recommenced - " [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_{177-st. john} go in six weeks ; [I]_{177-st. john} have taken [my]_{177-st. john} berth in [an East Indiaman which sails on the 20th of June]_{7396-an east indiaman which sails on the 20th of june} . "_{[177-st. john]} " [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} will protect [you]_{177-st. john} ; for [you]_{177-st. john} have undertaken [His]_{177-st. john} work , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i answered . " Yes , "_{[177-st. john]} said [he]_{177-st. john} , " there is [my]_{177-st. john} glory and joy . [I]_{177-st. john} am [the servant of [an infallible Master]_{7398-an infallible master}]_{7397-the servant of an infallible master} . [I]_{177-st. john} am not going out under human guidance , subject to the defective laws and erring control of [[my]_{177-st. john} feeble fellow - worms]_{7399-my feeble fellow - worms} : [[my]_{177-st. john} king]_{7400-my king} , [[my]_{177-st. john} lawgiver]_{7401-my lawgiver} , [[my]_{177-st. john} captain]_{7402-my captain} , is the All - perfect . It seems strange to [me]_{177-st. john} that all round [me]_{177-st. john} do not burn to enlist under the same banner , - to join in the same enterprise . "_{[177-st. john]} " [All]_4567-all have not [your]_4567-all powers , and it would be folly for [the feeble]_{7404-the feeble} to wish to march with the strong . "_{[177-st. john]} " [I]_{177-st. john} do not speak to [the feeble]_{7404-the feeble} , or think of [them]_{7404-the feeble} : [I]_{177-st. john} address only such as are worthy of the work , and competent to accomplish it . "_{[177-st. john]} " Those are few in number , and difficult to discover . "_{[177-st. john]} " [You]_4567-all say truly ; but when found , it is right to stir [them]_{7404-the feeble} up - to urge and exhort [them]_{7404-the feeble} to the effort - to show [them]_{7404-the feeble} what [their]_{7404-the feeble} gifts are , and why [they]_{7404-the feeble} were given - to speak Heaven 's message in [their]_{7404-the feeble} ear , - to offer [them]_{7404-the feeble} , direct from [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , a place in the ranks of [[His]_{177-st. john} chosen]_{7406-his chosen} . "_{[177-st. john]} " If [they]_{7404-the feeble} are really qualified for the task , will not [[their]_{7404-the feeble} own hearts]_{7407-their own hearts} be the first to inform [them]_{7404-the feeble} of it ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i felt as if an awful charm was framing round and gathering over [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i trembled to hear some fatal word spoken which would at once declare and rivet the spell . " And what does [YOUR]_4567-all heart say ? "_{[177-st. john]} demanded [St. John]_{177-st. john} . " [My]_0-i heart is mute , - [my]_0-i heart is mute , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i answered , struck and thrilled . " Then [I]_{177-st. john} must speak for it , "_{[177-st. john]} continued the deep , relentless voice . " [Jane]_146-jane , come with [me]_{177-st. john} to [India]_63-india : come as [[my]_{177-st. john} helpmeet]_{7408-my helpmeet} and [fellow - labourer]_{7409-fellow - labourer} . "_{[177-st. john]} [The glen]_{3847-the glen} and sky spun round : [the hills]_{7052-the hills} heaved ! It was as if [I]_0-i had heard a summons from [Heaven]_285-heaven - as if [a visionary messenger , like [him]_{177-st. john} of [Macedonia]_{135-macedonia}]_{3869-a visionary messenger , like him of macedonia} , had enounced , " Come over and help [us]_7410-us ! "_{[177-st. john]} But [I]_0-i was [no apostle]_{3870-no apostle} , - [I]_0-i could not behold [the herald]_{3871-the herald} , - [I]_0-i could not receive [his]_{3871-the herald} call . " Oh , [St. John]_{177-st. john} ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i cried , " have some mercy ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i appealed to [one who , in the discharge of what [he]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} believed [his]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} duty]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , knew neither mercy nor remorse . [He]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} continued - " [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} and nature intended [you]_0-i for [[a missionary]_{2829-a missionary} 's wife]_{7237-a missionary 's wife} . It is not personal , but mental endowments [they]_7413-they have given [you]_0-i : [you]_0-i are formed for labour , not for love . [[A missionary]_{2829-a missionary} 's wife]_{7237-a missionary 's wife} [you]_0-i must - shall be . [You]_0-i shall be [mine]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} : [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} claim [you]_0-i - not for [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} pleasure , but for [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} Sovereign 's service . "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} " [I]_0-i am not fit for it : [I]_0-i have no vocation , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . [He]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} had calculated on these first objections : [he]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} was not irritated by them . Indeed , as [he]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} leaned back against the crag behind [him]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , folded [his]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} arms on [his]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} chest , and fixed [his]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} countenance , [I]_0-i saw [he]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} was prepared for a long and trying opposition , and had taken in a stock of patience to last [him]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} to its close - resolved , however , that that close should be conquest for [him]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} . " Humility , [Jane]_146-jane , "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} said [he]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , " is the groundwork of Christian virtues : [you]_146-jane say right that [you]_146-jane are not fit for the work . Who is fit for it ? Or who , that ever was truly called , believed [himself]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} worthy of the summons ? [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , for instance , am but dust and ashes . With [St. Paul]_{442-st. paul} , [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} acknowledge [myself]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} [the chiefest of [sinners]_7417-sinners]_{7416-the chiefest of sinners} ; but [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} do not suffer this sense of [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} personal vileness to daunt [me]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} . [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} know [[my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} Leader]_{7418-my leader} : that [He]_{7418-my leader} is just as well as mighty ; and while [He]_{7418-my leader} has chosen a feeble instrument to perform a great task , [He]_{7418-my leader} will , from the boundless stores of [His]_{7418-my leader} providence , supply the inadequacy of the means to the end . Think like [me]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , [Jane]_146-jane - trust like [me]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} . It is [the Rock of Ages]_{7419-the rock of ages} [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} ask [you]_146-jane to lean on : do not doubt but it will bear the weight of [your]_146-jane human weakness . "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} " [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} do not understand a missionary life : [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} have never studied missionary labours . "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} " There [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , humble as [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} am , can give [you]_146-jane the aid [you]_146-jane want : [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} can set [you]_146-jane [your]_146-jane task from hour to hour ; stand by [you]_146-jane always ; help [you]_146-jane from moment to moment . This [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} could do in the beginning : soon for [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} know [your]_146-jane powers [you]_146-jane would be as strong and apt as [myself]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} , and would not require [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} help . "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} " But [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} powers - where are they for this undertaking ? [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} do not feel them . Nothing speaks or stirs in [me]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} while [you]_146-jane talk . [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} am sensible of no light kindling - no life quickening - no voice counselling or cheering . Oh , [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} wish [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} could make [you]_146-jane see how much [my]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} mind is at this moment like a rayless dungeon , with one shrinking fear fettered in its depths - the fear of being persuaded by [you]_146-jane to attempt what [I]_{3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty} can not accomplish ! "_{[3872-one who , in the discharge of what he believed his duty]} " [I]_0-i have an answer for [you]_146-jane - hear it . [I]_0-i have watched [you]_146-jane ever since [we]_7420-we first met : [I]_0-i have made [you]_146-jane [my]_0-i study for ten months . [I]_0-i have proved [you]_146-jane in that time by sundry tests : and what have [I]_0-i seen and elicited ? In [the village school]_{7096-the village school} [I]_0-i found [you]_146-jane could perform well , punctually , uprightly , labour uncongenial to [your]_146-jane habits and inclinations ; [I]_0-i saw [you]_146-jane could perform it with capacity and tact : [you]_146-jane could win while [you]_146-jane controlled . In the calm with which [you]_146-jane learnt [you]_146-jane had become suddenly rich , [I]_0-i read a mind clear of the vice of Demas:- lucre had no undue power over [you]_146-jane . In the resolute readiness with which [you]_146-jane cut [your]_146-jane wealth into four shares , keeping but one to [yourself]_146-jane , and relinquishing the three others to the claim of abstract justice , [I]_0-i recognised [a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of sacrifice]_{7422-a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of sacrifice} . In the tractability with which , at [my]_0-i wish , [you]_146-jane forsook a study in which [you]_146-jane were interested , and adopted another because it interested [me]_0-i ; in the untiring assiduity with which [you]_146-jane have since persevered in it - in the unflagging energy and unshaken temper with which [you]_146-jane have met its difficulties - [I]_0-i acknowledge the complement of the qualities [I]_0-i seek . [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane are docile , diligent , disinterested , faithful , constant , and courageous ; very gentle , and very heroic : cease to mistrust [yourself]_146-jane - [I]_0-i can trust [you]_146-jane unreservedly . As [a conductress of Indian schools]_{7423-a conductress of indian schools} , and [a helper amongst [Indian women]_{7425-indian women}]_{7424-a helper amongst indian women} , [your]_146-jane assistance will be to [me]_0-i invaluable . "_[0-i] [My]_0-i iron shroud contracted round [me]_0-i ; persuasion advanced with slow sure step . Shut [my]_0-i eyes as [I]_0-i would , these last words of [his]_3873-he succeeded in making the way , which had seemed blocked up , comparatively clear . [My]_0-i work , which had appeared so vague , so hopelessly diffuse , condensed itself as [he]_3873-he proceeded , and assumed a definite form under [his]_3873-he shaping hand . [He]_3873-he waited for an answer . [I]_0-i demanded a quarter of an hour to think , before [I]_0-i again hazarded a reply . " Very willingly , "_[3873-he] [he]_3873-he rejoined ; and rising , [he]_3873-he strode a little distance up the pass , threw [himself]_3873-he down on a swell of heath , and there lay still . " [I]_0-i CAN do what [he]_3873-he wants [me]_0-i to do : [I]_0-i am forced to see and acknowledge that , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i meditated , - " that is , if life be spared [me]_0-i . But [I]_0-i feel [mine]_0-i is not the existence to be long protracted under an Indian sun . What then ? [He]_3873-he does not care for that : when [my]_0-i time came to die , [he]_3873-he would resign [me]_0-i , in all serenity and sanctity , to [the God who gave [me]_0-i]_{7426-the god who gave me} . The case is very plain before [me]_0-i . In leaving [England]_21-england , [I]_0-i should leave [a loved but empty land]_{7427-a loved but empty land} - [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} is not [there]_4426-there ; and if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} were , what is , what can that ever be to [me]_0-i ? [My]_0-i business is to live without [him]_{251-mr. rochester} now : nothing so absurd , so weak as to drag on from day to day , as if [I]_0-i were waiting some impossible change in circumstances , which might reunite [me]_0-i to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . Of course as [St. John]_{177-st. john} once said [I]_0-i must seek another interest in life to replace the one lost : is not the occupation [he]_{177-st. john} now offers [me]_0-i truly [the most glorious man]_{7429-the most glorious man} can adopt or God assign ? Is it not , by its noble cares and sublime results , the one best calculated to fill the void left by uptorn affections and demolished hopes ? [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i must say , Yes - and yet [I]_0-i shudder . Alas ! If [I]_0-i join [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i abandon half [myself]_0-i : if [I]_0-i go to [India]_63-india , [I]_0-i go to premature death . And how will the interval between leaving [England]_21-england for [India]_63-india , and [India]_63-india for the grave , be filled ? Oh , [I]_0-i know well ! That , too , is very clear to [my]_0-i vision . By straining to satisfy [St. John]_{177-st. john} till [my]_0-i sinews ache , [I]_0-i SHALL satisfy [him]_{177-st. john} - to the finest central point and farthest outward circle of [his]_{177-st. john} expectations . If [I]_0-i DO go with [him]_{177-st. john} - if [I]_0-i DO make the sacrifice [he]_{177-st. john} urges , [I]_0-i will make it absolutely : [I]_0-i will throw all on the altar - heart , vitals , [the entire victim]_{7430-the entire victim} . [He]_{177-st. john} will never love [me]_0-i ; but [he]_{177-st. john} shall approve [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i will show [him]_{177-st. john} energies [he]_{177-st. john} has not yet seen , resources [he]_{177-st. john} has never suspected . Yes , [I]_0-i can work as hard as [he]_{177-st. john} can , and with as little grudging . "_[0-i] Consent , then , to [his]_3874-his demand is possible : but for one item - one dreadful item . It is - that [he]_3874-his asks [me]_0-i to be [[his]_3874-his wife]_{4986-his wife} , and has no more of [a husband]_{6186-a husband} 's heart for [me]_0-i than that frowning giant of a rock , down which [the stream]_{960-the stream} is foaming in [yonder gorge]_{3878-yonder gorge} . [He]_3874-his prizes [me]_0-i as [a soldier]_{7138-a soldier} would a good weapon ; and that is all . Unmarried to [him]_3874-his , this would never grieve [me]_0-i ; but can [I]_0-i let [him]_3874-his complete [his]_3874-his calculations - coolly put into practice [his]_3874-his plans - go through the wedding ceremony ? Can [I]_0-i receive from [him]_3874-his the bridal ring , endure all the forms of love which [I]_0-i doubt not [he]_3874-his would scrupulously observe and know that the spirit was quite absent ? Can [I]_0-i bear the consciousness that every endearment [he]_3874-his bestows is a sacrifice made on principle ? No : such a martyrdom would be monstrous . [I]_0-i will never undergo it . As [[his]_3874-his sister]_{5987-his sister} , [I]_0-i might accompany [him]_3874-his - not as [[his]_3874-his wife]_{4986-his wife} : [I]_0-i will tell [him]_3874-his so . " [I]_0-i looked towards [the knoll]_{7431-the knoll} : there [he]_3874-his lay , still as a prostrate column ; [his]_3874-his face turned to [me]_0-i : [his]_3874-his eye beaming watchful and keen . [He]_3874-his started to [his]_3874-his feet and approached [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am ready to go to [India]_63-india , if [I]_0-i may go free . " "_[0-i] [Your]_0-i answer requires a commentary , " [he]_3874-his said ; "_[0-i] it is not clear . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i have hitherto been [[my]_0-i adopted brother]_{3882-my adopted brother} - [I]_0-i , [[your]_0-i adopted sister]_{3883-your adopted sister} : let [us]_3884-we continue as such : [you]_0-i and [I]_0-i had better not marry . " [He]_3874-his shook [his]_3874-his head . "_{[3885-adopted fraternity]} [Adopted fraternity]_{3885-adopted fraternity} will not do in this case . If [you]_0-i were [[my]_0-i real sister]_{3886-my real sister} it would be different : [I]_0-i should take [you]_0-i , and seek [no wife]_{3887-no wife} . But as it is , either [our]_3884-we union must be consecrated and sealed by marriage , or it can not exist : practical obstacles oppose [themselves]_{3888-themselves} to any other plan . Do [you]_0-i not see it , [Jane]_146-jane ? Consider a moment - [your]_0-i strong sense will guide [you]_0-i . " [I]_{177-st. john} did consider ; and still [my]_{177-st. john} sense , such as it was , directed [me]_{177-st. john} only to the fact that [we]_3884-we did not love [each other]_{724-each other} as [man]_4667-man and [wife]_7434-wife should : and therefore it inferred [we]_3884-we ought not to marry . [I]_{177-st. john} said so . "_{[177-st. john]} [St. John]_{177-st. john} , " [I]_{177-st. john} returned , "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i regard [you]_{177-st. john} as [a brother]_{5331-a brother} - [you]_{177-st. john} , [me]_0-i as [a sister]_{3890-a sister} : so let [us]_3891-we continue . " "_[3891-we] [We]_3891-we can not - [we]_3891-we can not , " [he]_{177-st. john} answered , with short , sharp determination : "_[3891-we] it would not do . [You]_{177-st. john} have said [you]_{177-st. john} will go with [me]_0-i to [India]_63-india : remember - [you]_{177-st. john} have said that . " "_{[177-st. john]} Conditionally . " "_{[177-st. john]} Well - well . To the main point - the departure with [me]_0-i from [England]_21-england , the co - operation with [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i future labours - [you]_{177-st. john} do not object . [You]_{177-st. john} have already as good as put [your]_{177-st. john} hand to the plough : [you]_{177-st. john} are too consistent to withdraw it . [You]_{177-st. john} have but one end to keep in view - how the work [you]_{177-st. john} have undertaken can best be done . Simplify [your]_{177-st. john} complicated interests , feelings , thoughts , wishes , aims ; merge all considerations in one purpose : that of fulfilling with effect - with power - the mission of [[your]_{177-st. john} great Master]_{3892-your great master} . To do so , [you]_{177-st. john} must have [a coadjutor]_{3893-a coadjutor} : [not a brother]_{3894-not a brother} - that is a loose tie - but [a husband]_{6186-a husband} . [I]_0-i , too , do not want [a sister]_{3890-a sister} : [a sister]_{3890-a sister} might any day be taken from [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i want [a wife]_{5665-a wife} : the sole helpmeet [I]_0-i can influence efficiently in life , and retain absolutely till death . " [I]_{5665-a wife} shuddered as [he]_0-i spoke : [I]_{5665-a wife} felt [his]_0-i influence in [my]_{5665-a wife} marrow - [his]_0-i hold on [my]_{5665-a wife} limbs . "_{[5665-a wife]} Seek one elsewhere than in [me]_0-i , [St. John]_{177-st. john} : seek one fitted to [you]_{177-st. john} . " "_{[177-st. john]} One fitted to [my]_0-i purpose , [you]_{177-st. john} mean - fitted to [my]_0-i vocation . Again [I]_0-i tell [you]_{177-st. john} it is not [the insignificant private individual]_{3899-the insignificant private individual} - [the mere man]_{3900-the mere man} , with [the man]_{1375-the man} 's selfish senses - [I]_0-i wish to mate : it is [the missionary]_{3902-the missionary} . " "_{[3902-the missionary]} And [I]_0-i will give [the missionary]_{3902-the missionary} [my]_0-i energies - it is all [he]_{3902-the missionary} wants - but not [myself]_0-i : that would be only adding the husk and shell to the kernel . For [them]_3904-them [he]_{3902-the missionary} has no use : [I]_0-i retain them . " "_[0-i] [You]_{177-st. john} can not - [you]_{177-st. john} ought not . Do [you]_{177-st. john} think [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} will be satisfied with half an oblation ? Will [He]_{3902-the missionary} accept a mutilated sacrifice ? It is the cause of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} [I]_0-i advocate : it is under [His]_{3902-the missionary} standard [I]_0-i enlist [you]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i can not accept on [His]_{3902-the missionary} behalf a divided allegiance : it must be entire . " "_[0-i] Oh ! [I]_0-i will give [my]_0-i heart to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] [YOU]_{177-st. john} do not want it . " [I]_3905-i will not swear , [reader]_496-reader , that there was not something of repressed sarcasm both in the tone in which [I]_3905-i uttered this sentence , and in the feeling that accompanied it . [I]_3905-i had silently feared [St. John]_{177-st. john} till now , because [I]_3905-i had not understood [him]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} had held [me]_3905-i in awe , because [he]_{177-st. john} had held [me]_3905-i in doubt . How much of [him]_{177-st. john} was [saint]_7436-saint , how much mortal , [I]_3905-i could not heretofore tell : but revelations were being made in this conference : the analysis of [his]_{177-st. john} nature was proceeding before [my]_3905-i eyes . [I]_3905-i saw [his]_{177-st. john} fallibilities : [I]_3905-i comprehended them . [I]_3905-i understood that , sitting there where [I]_3905-i did , on [the bank of heath]_{7437-the bank of heath} , and with that handsome form before [me]_3905-i , [I]_3905-i sat at the feet of [a man]_{4429-a man} , caring as [I.]_3905-i The veil fell from [his]_{177-st. john} hardness and despotism . Having felt in [him]_{177-st. john} the presence of these qualities , [I]_3905-i felt [his]_{177-st. john} imperfection and took courage . [I]_3905-i was with [an equal]_{7439-an equal} - one with whom [I]_3905-i might argue - one whom , if [I]_3905-i saw good , [I]_3905-i might resist . [He]_{177-st. john} was silent after [I]_3905-i had uttered the last sentence , and [I]_3905-i presently risked an upward glance at [his]_{177-st. john} countenance . [His]_{177-st. john} eye , bent on [me]_3905-i , expressed at once stern surprise and keen inquiry . "_[3905-i] Is [she]_3905-i sarcastic , and sarcastic to [ME]_0-i ! " it seemed to say . "_[3905-i] What does this signify ? " "_[3905-i] Do not let [us]_3906-us forget that this is a solemn matter , " [he]_{177-st. john} said ere long ; "_[0-i] one of which [we]_3906-us may neither think nor talk lightly without sin . [I]_0-i trust , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_146-jane are in earnest when [you]_146-jane say [you]_146-jane will serve [your]_146-jane heart to [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : it is all [I]_0-i want . Once wrench [your]_146-jane heart from [man]_4667-man , and fix it on [[your]_146-jane Maker]_{3908-your maker} , the advancement of [that Maker 's spiritual kingdom on [earth]_478-earth]_{3909-that maker 's spiritual kingdom on earth} will be [your]_146-jane chief delight and endeavour ; [you]_146-jane will be ready to do at once whatever furthers that end . [You]_146-jane will see what impetus would be given to [your]_146-jane efforts and [mine]_3911-mine by [our]_3906-us physical and mental union in marriage : the only union that gives a character of permanent conformity to the destinies and designs of [human beings]_{754-human beings} ; and , passing over all minor caprices - all trivial difficulties and delicacies of feeling - all scruple about the degree , kind , strength or tenderness of mere personal inclination - [you]_146-jane will hasten to enter into that union at once . " "_[0-i] Shall [I]_0-i ? " [I]_0-i said briefly ; and [I]_0-i looked at [his]_0-i features , beautiful in their harmony , but strangely formidable in their still severity ; at [his]_0-i brow , commanding but not open ; at [his]_0-i eyes , bright and deep and searching , but never soft ; at [his]_0-i tall imposing figure ; and fancied [myself]_0-i in idea [[HIS]_0-i WIFE]_{4986-his wife} . Oh ! it would never do ! As [[his]_0-i curate]_{7441-his curate} , [[his]_0-i comrade]_{7442-his comrade} , all would be right : [I]_0-i would cross [oceans]_7443-oceans with [him]_0-i in that capacity ; toil under Eastern suns , in [Asian deserts]_{7444-asian deserts} with [him]_0-i in [that office]_{7104-that office} ; admire and emulate [his]_0-i courage and devotion and vigour ; accommodate quietly to [his]_0-i masterhood ; smile undisturbed at [his]_0-i ineradicable ambition ; discriminate [the Christian]_{7446-the christian} from [the man]_{1375-the man} : profoundly esteem [the one]_{5908-the one} , and freely forgive the other . [I]_0-i should suffer often , no doubt , attached to [him]_0-i only in this capacity : [my]_0-i body would be under rather a stringent yoke , but [my]_0-i heart and mind would be free . [I]_0-i should still have [my]_0-i unblighted self to turn to : [my]_0-i natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness . There would be recesses in [my]_0-i mind which would be only mine , to which [he]_0-i never came , and sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered which [his]_0-i austerity could never blight , nor [his]_0-i measured warrior - march trample down : but as [[his]_0-i wife]_{4986-his wife} - at [his]_0-i side always , and always restrained , and always checked - forced to keep the fire of [my]_0-i nature continually low , to compel it to burn inwardly and never utter a cry , though the imprisoned flame consumed vital after vital - THIS would be unendurable . "_[0-i] [St. John]_{177-st. john} ! " [I]_{177-st. john} exclaimed , when [I]_{177-st. john} had got so far in [my]_{177-st. john} meditation . "_{[177-st. john]} Well ? " [he]_0-i answered icily . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i repeat [I]_0-i freely consent to go with [you]_{177-st. john} as [[your]_{177-st. john} fellow - missionary]_{3913-your fellow - missionary} , but not as [[your]_{177-st. john} wife]_{6190-your wife} ; [I]_0-i can not marry [you]_{177-st. john} and become part of [you]_{177-st. john} . " "_[0-i] A part of [me]_0-i [you]_{177-st. john} must become , " [he]_0-i answered steadily ; "_[0-i] otherwise the whole bargain is void . How can [I]_0-i , [a man not yet thirty]_{3915-a man not yet thirty} , take out with [me]_0-i to [India]_63-india [a girl of nineteen]_{3916-a girl of nineteen} , unless [she]_{3916-a girl of nineteen} be married to [me]_0-i ? How can [we]_3917-we be for ever together - sometimes in [solitudes]_{3918-solitudes} , sometimes amidst [savage tribes]_{4658-savage tribes} - and unwed ? " "_{[3920-your real sister]} Very well , " [I]_{3920-your real sister} said shortly ; "_{[3920-your real sister]} under the circumstances , quite as well as if [I]_0-i were either [[your]_{177-st. john} real sister]_{3920-your real sister} , or [a man]_{4429-a man} and [a clergyman like [yourself]_{177-st. john}]_{3922-a clergyman like yourself} . " "_{[177-st. john]} It is known that [you]_{177-st. john} are not [[my]_0-i sister]_{6518-my sister} ; [I]_0-i can not introduce [you]_{177-st. john} as such : to attempt it would be to fasten injurious suspicions on [us]_3917-we both . And for the rest , though [you]_{177-st. john} have [a man]_{4429-a man} 's vigorous brain , [you]_{177-st. john} have [a woman]_{4399-a woman} 's heart and - it would not do . " "_{[4399-a woman]} It would do , " [I]_{4399-a woman} affirmed with some disdain , "_{[4399-a woman]} perfectly well . [I]_0-i have [a woman]_{4399-a woman} 's heart , but not where [you]_{177-st. john} are concerned ; for [you]_{177-st. john} [I]_0-i have only [a comrade]_{2860-a comrade} 's constancy ; [a fellow - soldier]_{3928-a fellow - soldier} 's frankness , fidelity , fraternity , if [you]_{177-st. john} like ; [a neophyte]_{3929-a neophyte} 's respect and submission to [his]_{3929-a neophyte} hierophant : nothing more - do n't fear . " "_{[177-st. john]} It is what [I]_0-i want , " [he]_0-i said , speaking to [himself]_0-i ; "_{[177-st. john]} it is just what [I]_0-i want . And there are obstacles in the way : they must be hewn down . [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_{177-st. john} would not repent marrying [me]_0-i - be certain of that ; [we]_3930-we MUST be married . [I]_0-i repeat it : there is no other way ; and undoubtedly enough of love would follow upon marriage to render the union right even in [your]_{177-st. john} eyes . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i scorn [your]_0-i idea of love , " [I]_0-i could not help saying , as [I]_0-i rose up and stood before [him]_0-i , leaning [my]_0-i back against the rock . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i scorn the counterfeit sentiment [you]_0-i offer : yes , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , and [I]_0-i scorn [you]_0-i when [you]_0-i offer it . " [He]_0-i looked at [me]_0-i fixedly , compressing [his]_0-i well - cut lips while [he]_0-i did so . Whether [he]_0-i was incensed or surprised , or what , it was not easy to tell : [he]_0-i could command [his]_0-i countenance thoroughly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i scarcely expected to hear that expression from [you]_0-i , " [he]_0-i said : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i have done and uttered nothing to deserve scorn . " [I]_0-i was touched by [his]_0-i gentle tone , and overawed by [his]_0-i high , calm mien . "_[0-i] Forgive [me]_0-i the words , [St. John]_{177-st. john} ; but it is [your]_0-i own fault that [I]_0-i have been roused to speak so unguardedly . [You]_0-i have introduced a topic on which [our]_3931-we natures are at variance - a topic [we]_3931-we should never discuss : the very name of love is an apple of discord between [us]_3931-we . If the reality were required , what should [we]_3931-we do ? How should [we]_3931-we feel ? [[My]_0-i dear cousin]_{3932-my dear cousin} , abandon [your]_0-i scheme of marriage - forget it . " "_[0-i] No , " said [he]_0-i ; "_[0-i] it is a long - cherished scheme , and the only one which can secure [my]_0-i great end : but [I]_0-i shall urge [you]_0-i no further at present . To - morrow , [I]_0-i leave [home]_509-home for [Cambridge]_{136-cambridge} : [I]_0-i have [many friends there to whom [I]_0-i should wish to say farewell]_{3934-many friends there to whom i should wish to say farewell} . [I]_0-i shall be absent a fortnight - take that space of time to consider [my]_0-i offer : and do not forget that if [you]_0-i reject it , it is not [me]_0-i [you]_0-i deny , but [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . Through [my]_0-i means , [He]_0-i opens to [you]_0-i a noble career ; as [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} only can [you]_0-i enter upon it . Refuse to be [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} , and [you]_0-i limit [yourself]_0-i for ever to a track of selfish ease and barren obscurity . Tremble lest in that case [you]_0-i should be numbered with [those who have denied the faith]_{3937-those who have denied the faith} , and are worse than [infidels]_{3938-infidels} ! " [He]_0-i had done . Turning from [me]_3939-hill , [he]_0-i once more "_[3939-hill] Looked to river , looked to [hill]_3939-hill . " But this time [his]_0-i feelings were all pent in [his]_0-i heart : [I]_3939-hill was not worthy to hear [them]_7450-them uttered . As [I]_3939-hill walked by [his]_0-i side homeward , [I]_3939-hill read well in [his]_0-i iron silence all [he]_0-i felt towards [me]_3939-hill : the disappointment of an austere and despotic nature , which has met resistance where it expected submission - the disapprobation of a cool , inflexible judgment , which has detected in another feelings and views in which it has no power to sympathise : in short , as [a man]_{4429-a man} , [he]_0-i would have wished to coerce [me]_3939-hill into obedience : it was only as [a sincere Christian]_{7452-a sincere christian} [he]_0-i bore so patiently with [my]_3939-hill perversity , and allowed so long a space for reflection and repentance . That night , after [he]_0-i had kissed [[his]_0-i sisters]_{4311-his sisters} , [he]_0-i thought proper to forget even to shake hands with [me]_3939-hill , but left [the room]_{535-the room} in silence . [I]_3939-hill - who , though [I]_3939-hill had no love , had much friendship for [him]_{177-st. john} - was hurt by the marked omission : so much hurt that tears started to [my]_3939-hill eyes . "_[3939-hill] [I]_0-i see [you]_3940-you and [St. John]_{177-st. john} have been quarrelling , [Jane]_146-jane , " said [Diana]_400-diana , "_[146-jane] during [your]_3940-you walk on [the moor]_{5303-the moor} . But go after [him]_{177-st. john} ; [he]_{177-st. john} is now lingering in [the passage]_{4815-the passage} expecting [you]_3940-you - [he]_{177-st. john} will make it up . " [I]_{177-st. john} have not much pride under such circumstances : [I]_{177-st. john} would always rather be happy than dignified ; and [I]_{177-st. john} ran after [him]_{177-st. john} - [he]_{177-st. john} stood at the foot of the stairs . "_{[177-st. john]} Good - night , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , " said [I.]_{177-st. john} "_{[177-st. john]} Good - night , [Jane]_146-jane , " [he]_{177-st. john} replied calmly . "_[146-jane] Then shake hands , " [I]_{177-st. john} added . What a cold , loose touch , [he]_{177-st. john} impressed on [my]_{177-st. john} fingers ! [He]_{177-st. john} was deeply displeased by what had occurred that day ; cordiality would not warm , nor tears move [him]_{177-st. john} . No happy reconciliation was to be had with [him]_{177-st. john} - no cheering smile or generous word : but still [the Christian]_{7446-the christian} was patient and placid ; and when [I]_{177-st. john} asked [him]_{177-st. john} if [he]_{177-st. john} forgave [me]_{177-st. john} , [he]_{177-st. john} answered that [he]_{177-st. john} was not in the habit of cherishing the remembrance of vexation ; that [he]_{177-st. john} had nothing to forgive , not having been offended . And with that answer [he]_{177-st. john} left [me]_{177-st. john} . [I]_{177-st. john} would much rather [he]_{177-st. john} had knocked [me]_{177-st. john} down . CHAPTER XXXV [He]_{177-st. john} did not leave for [Cambridge]_{136-cambridge} the next day , as [he]_{177-st. john} had said [he]_{177-st. john} would . [He]_{177-st. john} deferred [his]_{177-st. john} departure a whole week , and during that time [he]_{177-st. john} made [me]_{177-st. john} feel what severe punishment [a good yet stern , a conscientious yet implacable man]_{7456-a good yet stern , a conscientious yet implacable man} can inflict on one who has offended [him]_{177-st. john} . Without one overt act of hostility , one upbraiding word , [he]_{177-st. john} contrived to impress [me]_{177-st. john} momently with the conviction that [I]_{177-st. john} was put beyond the pale of [his]_{177-st. john} favour . Not that [St. John]_{177-st. john} harboured a spirit of unchristian vindictiveness - not that [he]_{177-st. john} would have injured a hair of [my]_{177-st. john} head , if it had been fully in [his]_{177-st. john} power to do so . Both by nature and principle , [he]_{177-st. john} was superior to the mean gratification of vengeance : [he]_{177-st. john} had forgiven [me]_{177-st. john} for saying [I]_{177-st. john} scorned [him]_{177-st. john} and [his]_{177-st. john} love , but [he]_{177-st. john} had not forgotten the words ; and as long as [he]_{177-st. john} and [I]_{177-st. john} lived [he]_{177-st. john} never would forget them . [I]_{177-st. john} saw by [his]_{177-st. john} look , when [he]_{177-st. john} turned to [me]_{177-st. john} , that they were always written on the air between [me]_{177-st. john} and [him]_{177-st. john} ; whenever [I]_{177-st. john} spoke , they sounded in [my]_{177-st. john} voice to [his]_{177-st. john} ear , and their echo toned every answer [he]_{177-st. john} gave [me]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} did not abstain from conversing with [me]_{177-st. john} : [he]_{177-st. john} even called [me]_{177-st. john} as usual each morning to join [him]_{177-st. john} at [his]_{177-st. john} desk ; and [I]_{177-st. john} fear [the corrupt man within [him]_{177-st. john}]_{7457-the corrupt man within him} had a pleasure unimparted to , and unshared by , [the pure Christian]_{7458-the pure christian} , in evincing with what skill [he]_{177-st. john} could , while acting and speaking apparently just as usual , extract from every deed and every phrase the spirit of interest and approval which had formerly communicated a certain austere charm to [his]_{177-st. john} language and manner . To [me]_{177-st. john} , [he]_{177-st. john} was in reality become no longer flesh , but marble ; [his]_{177-st. john} eye was a cold , bright , blue gem ; [his]_{177-st. john} tongue a speaking instrument - nothing more . All this was torture to [me]_{177-st. john} - refined , lingering torture . It kept up a slow fire of indignation and a trembling trouble of grief , which harassed and crushed [me]_{177-st. john} altogether . [I]_{177-st. john} felt how - if [I]_{177-st. john} were [[his]_{177-st. john} wife]_{4986-his wife} , [this good man]_{7460-this good man} , pure as the deep sunless source , could soon kill [me]_{177-st. john} , without drawing from [my]_{177-st. john} veins a single drop of blood , or receiving on [his]_{177-st. john} own crystal conscience the faintest stain of crime . Especially [I]_{177-st. john} felt this when [I]_{177-st. john} made any attempt to propitiate [him]_{177-st. john} . [No ruth]_{7461-no ruth} met [[my]_{177-st. john} ruth]_{7462-my ruth} . [HE]_{177-st. john} experienced no suffering from estrangement - no yearning after reconciliation ; and though , more than once , [my]_{177-st. john} fast falling tears blistered the page over which [we]_7463-we both bent , they produced no more effect on [him]_{177-st. john} than if [his]_{177-st. john} heart had been really a matter of stone or metal . To [[his]_{177-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} , meantime , [he]_{177-st. john} was somewhat kinder than usual : as if afraid that mere coldness would not sufficiently convince [me]_{177-st. john} how completely [I]_{177-st. john} was banished and banned , [he]_{177-st. john} added the force of contrast ; and this [I]_{177-st. john} am sure [he]_{177-st. john} did not by force , but on principle . The night before [he]_{177-st. john} left [home]_509-home , happening to see [him]_{177-st. john} walking in [the garden]_{4568-the garden} about sunset , and remembering , as [I]_{177-st. john} looked at [him]_{177-st. john} , that [this man]_{495-this man} , alienated as [he]_{177-st. john} now was , had once saved [my]_{177-st. john} life , and that [we]_7468-we were near [relations]_{7469-relations} , [I]_{177-st. john} was moved to make a last attempt to regain [his]_{177-st. john} friendship . [I]_{177-st. john} went out and approached [him]_{177-st. john} as [he]_{177-st. john} stood leaning over the little gate ; [I]_{177-st. john} spoke to the point at once . "_{[177-st. john]} [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i am unhappy because [you]_{177-st. john} are still angry with [me]_0-i . Let [us]_3943-we be [friends]_1114-friends . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [we]_3943-we are [friends]_1114-friends , " was the unmoved reply ; while [he]_{177-st. john} still watched the rising of the moon , which [he]_{177-st. john} had been contemplating as [I]_0-i approached . "_[0-i] No , [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [we]_3943-we are not [friends]_1114-friends as [we]_3943-we were . [You]_{177-st. john} know that . " "_{[177-st. john]} Are [we]_3943-we not ? That is wrong . For [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i wish [you]_{177-st. john} no ill and all good . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_{177-st. john} , [St. John]_{177-st. john} ; for [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{177-st. john} are incapable of wishing [any one]_{591-any one} ill ; but , as [I]_0-i am [[your]_{177-st. john} kinswoman]_{3948-your kinswoman} , [I]_0-i should desire somewhat more of affection than that sort of general philanthropy [you]_{177-st. john} extend to [mere strangers]_{7297-mere strangers} . " "_{[177-st. john]} Of course , " [he]_{177-st. john} said . "_{[177-st. john]} [Your]_{177-st. john} wish is reasonable , and [I]_0-i am far from regarding [you]_{177-st. john} as [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} . " This , spoken in a cool , tranquil tone , was mortifying and baffling enough . Had [I]_0-i attended to the suggestions of pride and ire , [I]_0-i should immediately have left [him]_{177-st. john} ; but something worked within [me]_0-i more strongly than those feelings could . [I]_0-i deeply venerated [[my]_0-i cousin]_{7470-my cousin} 's talent and principle . [His]_{177-st. john} friendship was of value to [me]_0-i : to lose it tried [me]_0-i severely . [I]_0-i would not so soon relinquish the attempt to reconquer it . "_[0-i] Must [we]_3951-we part in this way , [St. John]_{177-st. john} ? And when [you]_{177-st. john} go to [India]_63-india , will [you]_{177-st. john} leave [me]_0-i so , without a kinder word than [you]_{177-st. john} have yet spoken ? " [He]_0-i now turned quite from the moon and faced [me]_{177-st. john} . "_{[177-st. john]} When [I]_0-i go to [India]_63-india , [Jane]_146-jane , will [I]_0-i leave [you]_146-jane ! What ! do [you]_{177-st. john} not go to [India]_63-india ? " "_{[177-st. john]} [You]_{177-st. john} said [I]_0-i could not unless [I]_0-i married [you]_{177-st. john} . " "_{[177-st. john]} And [you]_{177-st. john} will not marry [me]_0-i ! [You]_{177-st. john} adhere to that resolution ? " [Reader]_387-reader , do [you]_{177-st. john} know , as [I]_{177-st. john} do , what terror [those cold people]_{7471-those cold people} can put into the ice of [their]_{7471-those cold people} questions ? How much of the fall of the avalanche is in [their]_{7471-those cold people} anger ? of the breaking up of [the frozen sea]_{7472-the frozen sea} in [their]_{7471-those cold people} displeasure ? "_{[177-st. john]} No . [St. John]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i will not marry [you]_{177-st. john} . [I]_0-i adhere to [my]_0-i resolution . " The avalanche had shaken and slid a little forward , but it did not yet crash down . "_[0-i] Once more , why this refusal ? " [he]_{177-st. john} asked . "_[0-i] Formerly , " [I]_0-i answered , "_[0-i] because [you]_{177-st. john} did not love [me]_0-i ; now , [I]_0-i reply , because [you]_{177-st. john} almost hate [me]_0-i . If [I]_0-i were to marry [you]_{177-st. john} , [you]_{177-st. john} would kill [me]_0-i . [You]_{177-st. john} are killing [me]_0-i now . " [His]_{177-st. john} lips and cheeks turned white - quite white . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i SHOULD KILL [YOU]_{177-st. john} - [I]_0-i AM KILLING [YOU]_{177-st. john} ? [Your]_{177-st. john} words are such as ought not to be used : violent , unfeminine , and untrue . They betray an unfortunate state of mind : [they]_3952-they merit severe reproof : they would seem inexcusable , but that it is the duty of [man]_4667-man to forgive [[his]_4667-man fellow]_{3954-his fellow} even until seventy - and - seven times . " [I]_{177-st. john} had finished the business now . While earnestly wishing to erase from [his]_{177-st. john} mind the trace of [my]_{177-st. john} former offence , [I]_{177-st. john} had stamped on that tenacious surface another and far deeper impression , [I]_{177-st. john} had burnt it in . "_{[177-st. john]} Now [you]_{177-st. john} will indeed hate [me]_0-i , " [I]_{177-st. john} said . "_{[177-st. john]} It is useless to attempt to conciliate [you]_{177-st. john} : [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i have made [an eternal enemy of [you]_{177-st. john}]_{3955-an eternal enemy of you} . " A fresh wrong did these words inflict : the worse , because they touched on the truth . That bloodless lip quivered to a temporary spasm . [I]_{177-st. john} knew the steely ire [I]_{177-st. john} had whetted . [I]_{177-st. john} was heart - wrung . "_{[177-st. john]} [You]_{177-st. john} utterly misinterpret [my]_0-i words , " [I]_{177-st. john} said , at once seizing [his]_{177-st. john} hand : "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i have no intention to grieve or pain [you]_{177-st. john} - indeed , [I]_0-i have not . " Most bitterly [he]_{177-st. john} smiled - most decidedly [he]_{177-st. john} withdrew [his]_{177-st. john} hand from [mine]_{177-st. john} . "_[0-i] And now [you]_0-i recall [your]_0-i promise , and will not go to [India]_63-india at all , [I]_0-i presume ? " said [he]_{177-st. john} , after a considerable pause . "_[0-i] Yes , [I]_0-i will , as [[your]_{177-st. john} assistant]_{3956-your assistant} , " [I]_0-i answered . A very long silence succeeded . What struggle there was in [him]_{177-st. john} between Nature and [Grace]_{263-grace poole} in this interval , [I]_0-i can not tell : only singular gleams scintillated in [his]_{177-st. john} eyes , and strange shadows passed over [his]_{177-st. john} face . [He]_{177-st. john} spoke at last . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i before proved to [you]_0-i the absurdity of [a single woman of [your]_0-i age]_{3957-a single woman of your age} proposing to accompany abroad [a single man of mine]_{3958-a single man of mine} . [I]_0-i proved it to [you]_0-i in such terms as , [I]_0-i should have thought , would have prevented [your]_0-i ever again alluding to the plan . That [you]_0-i have done so , [I]_0-i regret - for [your]_0-i sake . " [I]_{177-st. john} interrupted [him]_0-i . Anything like a tangible reproach gave [me]_{177-st. john} courage at once . "_{[177-st. john]} Keep to common sense , [St. John]_{177-st. john} : [you]_0-i are verging on nonsense . [You]_0-i pretend to be shocked by what [I]_0-i have said . [You]_0-i are not really shocked : for , with [your]_0-i superior mind , [you]_0-i can not be either so dull or so conceited as to misunderstand [my]_0-i meaning . [I]_0-i say again , [I]_0-i will be [[your]_0-i curate]_{3959-your curate} , if [you]_0-i like , but never [[your]_0-i wife]_{6190-your wife} . " Again [he]_0-i turned lividly pale ; but , as before , controlled [his]_0-i passion perfectly . [He]_0-i answered emphatically but calmly - "_{[3961-a female curate]} [A female curate]_{3961-a female curate} , who is not [[my]_0-i wife]_{2180-my wife} , would never suit [me]_0-i . With [me]_0-i , then , it seems , [you]_0-i can not go : but if [you]_0-i are sincere in [your]_0-i offer , [I]_0-i will , while in [town]_5534-town , speak to [a married missionary , whose wife]_{3964-a married missionary , whose wife} needs [a coadjutor]_{3893-a coadjutor} . [Your]_0-i own fortune will make [you]_0-i independent of [the Society]_{3966-the society} 's aid ; and thus [you]_0-i may still be spared the dishonour of breaking [your]_0-i promise and deserting [the band [you]_0-i engaged to join]_{3967-the band you engaged to join} . " Now [I]_0-i never had , as [the reader]_{947-the reader} knows , either given any formal promise or entered into any engagement ; and this language was all much too hard and much too despotic for the occasion . [I]_0-i replied - "_[0-i] There is no dishonour , no breach of promise , no desertion in the case . [I]_0-i am not under the slightest obligation to go to [India]_63-india , especially with [strangers]_{1704-strangers} . With [you]_0-i [I]_0-i would have ventured much , because [I]_0-i admire , confide in , and , as [a sister]_{3890-a sister} , [I]_0-i love [you]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i am convinced that , go when and with whom [I]_0-i would , [I]_0-i should not live long in that climate . " "_[0-i] Ah ! [you]_0-i are afraid of [yourself]_0-i , " [he]_0-i said , curling [his]_0-i lip . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} did not give [me]_0-i [my]_0-i life to throw away ; and to do as [you]_0-i wish [me]_0-i would , [I]_0-i begin to think , be almost equivalent to committing suicide . Moreover , before [I]_0-i definitively resolve on quitting [England]_21-england , [I]_0-i will know for certain whether [I]_0-i can not be of greater use by remaining in it than by leaving it . " "_[0-i] What do [you]_0-i mean ? " "_[0-i] It would be fruitless to attempt to explain ; but there is a point on which [I]_0-i have long endured painful doubt , and [I]_0-i can go nowhere till by some means that doubt is removed . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know where [your]_0-i heart turns and to what it clings . The interest [you]_0-i cherish is lawless and unconsecrated . Long since [you]_0-i ought to have crushed it : now [you]_0-i should blush to allude to it . [You]_0-i think of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " It was true . [I]_{251-mr. rochester} confessed it by silence . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Are [you]_0-i going to seek [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must find out what is become of [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . " "_[0-i] It remains for [me]_0-i , then , " [he]_0-i said , "_[0-i] to remember [you]_0-i in [my]_0-i prayers , and to entreat [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} for [you]_0-i , in all earnestness , that [you]_0-i may not indeed become [a castaway]_{3970-a castaway} . [I]_0-i had thought [I]_0-i recognised in [you]_0-i one of the chosen . But [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} sees not as [man]_4667-man sees : [HIS]_4667-man will be done - " [He]_0-i opened the gate , passed through [it]_7474-it , and strayed away down [the glen]_{3847-the glen} . [He]_0-i was soon out of sight . On re - entering [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} , [I]_146-jane found [Diana]_400-diana standing at the window , looking very thoughtful . [Diana]_400-diana was a great deal taller than [I]_146-jane : [she]_400-diana put [her]_400-diana hand on [my]_146-jane shoulder , and , stooping , examined [my]_146-jane face . "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane , " [she]_400-diana said , "_[146-jane] [you]_146-jane are always agitated and pale now . [I]_0-i am sure there is something the matter . Tell [me]_0-i what business [St. John]_{177-st. john} and [you]_146-jane have on hands . [I]_0-i have watched [you]_146-jane this half hour from the window ; [you]_146-jane must forgive [my]_0-i being such [a spy]_{3972-a spy} , but for a long time [I]_0-i have fancied [I]_0-i hardly know what . [St. John]_{177-st. john} is [a strange being]_{3973-a strange being} - " [She]_7477-she paused - [I]_{3973-a strange being} did not speak : soon [she]_7477-she resumed - "_{[3973-a strange being]} [That brother of mine]_{3974-that brother of mine} cherishes peculiar views of some sort respecting [you]_146-jane , [I]_0-i am sure : [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} has long distinguished [you]_146-jane by a notice and interest [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} never showed to [any one else]_{4384-any one else} - to what end ? [I]_0-i wish [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} loved [you]_146-jane - does [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} , [Jane]_146-jane ? " [I]_{3974-that brother of mine} put [her]_146-jane cool hand to [my]_{3974-that brother of mine} hot forehead ; "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} No , Die , not one whit . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} Then why does [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} follow [you]_146-jane so with [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} eyes , and get [you]_146-jane so frequently alone with [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} , and keep [you]_146-jane so continually at [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} side ? [Mary]_233-mary and [I]_0-i had both concluded [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} wished [you]_146-jane to marry [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} does - [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} has asked [me]_0-i to be [[his]_{3974-that brother of mine} wife]_{4986-his wife} . " [Diana]_400-diana clapped [her]_400-diana hands . "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} That is just what [we]_3977-we hoped and thought ! And [you]_146-jane will marry [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} , [Jane]_146-jane , wo n't [you]_146-jane ? And then [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} will stay in [England]_21-england . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} Far from that , [Diana]_400-diana ; [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} sole idea in proposing to [me]_0-i is to procure [a fitting fellow - labourer in [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} Indian toils]_{3978-a fitting fellow - labourer in his indian toils} . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} What ! [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} wishes [you]_146-jane to go to [India]_63-india ? " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} Yes . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} Madness ! " [she]_400-diana exclaimed . "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} [You]_146-jane would not live three months there , [I]_0-i am certain . [You]_146-jane never shall go : [you]_146-jane have not consented , have [you]_146-jane , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i have refused to marry [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} - " "_[0-i] And have consequently displeased [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} ? " [she]_400-diana suggested . "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} Deeply : [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} will never forgive [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i fear : yet [I]_0-i offered to accompany [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} as [[his]_{3974-that brother of mine} sister]_{5987-his sister} . " "_[0-i] It was frantic folly to do so , [Jane]_146-jane . Think of the task [you]_146-jane undertook - one of incessant fatigue , where fatigue kills even the strong , and [you]_146-jane are weak . [St. John]_{177-st. john} - [you]_146-jane know [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} - would urge [you]_146-jane to impossibilities : with [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} there would be no permission to rest during the hot hours ; and unfortunately , [I]_0-i have noticed , whatever [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} exacts , [you]_146-jane force [yourself]_146-jane to perform . [I]_0-i am astonished [you]_146-jane found courage to refuse [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} hand . [You]_146-jane do not love [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} then , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] Not as [a husband]_{6186-a husband} . " "_[146-jane] Yet [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} is [a handsome fellow]_{3981-a handsome fellow} . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} And [I]_0-i am so plain , [you]_146-jane see , [Die]_419-die . [We]_3982-we should never suit . " "_[419-die] Plain ! [You]_146-jane ? Not at all . [You]_146-jane are much too pretty , as well as too good , to be grilled alive in [Calcutta]_137-calcutta . " And again [she]_146-jane earnestly conjured [me]_0-i to give up all thoughts of going out with [[her]_146-jane brother]_{6047-her brother} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must indeed , " [I]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] for when just now [I]_0-i repeated the offer of serving [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} for [a deacon]_{3983-a deacon} , [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} expressed [himself]_{3974-that brother of mine} shocked at [my]_0-i want of decency . [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} seemed to think [I]_0-i had committed an impropriety in proposing to accompany [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} unmarried : as if [I]_0-i had not from the first hoped to find in [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} [a brother]_{5331-a brother} , and habitually regarded [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} as such . " "_[0-i] What makes [you]_0-i say [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} does not love [you]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} [You]_146-jane should hear [himself]_{3974-that brother of mine} on the subject . [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} has again and again explained that it is not [himself]_{3974-that brother of mine} , but [[his]_{3974-that brother of mine} office]_{3985-his office} [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} wishes to mate . [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} has told [me]_0-i [I]_0-i am formed for labour - not for love : which is true , no doubt . But , in [my]_0-i opinion , if [I]_0-i am not formed for love , it follows that [I]_0-i am not formed for marriage . Would it not be strange , Die , to be chained for life to [a man who regarded one but as a useful tool]_{3986-a man who regarded one but as a useful tool} ? " "_[0-i] Insupportable - unnatural - out of the question ! " "_[0-i] And then , " [I]_0-i continued , "_[0-i] though [I]_0-i have only sisterly affection for [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} now , yet , if forced to be [[his]_{3974-that brother of mine} wife]_{4986-his wife} , [I]_0-i can imagine the possibility of conceiving an inevitable , strange , torturing kind of love for [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} , because [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} is so talented ; and there is often a certain heroic grandeur in [his]_{3974-that brother of mine} look , manner , and conversation . In that case , [my]_0-i lot would become unspeakably wretched . [He]_{3974-that brother of mine} would not want [me]_0-i to love [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} ; and if [I]_0-i showed the feeling , [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} would make [me]_0-i sensible that it was a superfluity , unrequired by [him]_{3974-that brother of mine} , unbecoming in [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i know [he]_{3974-that brother of mine} would . " "_{[3974-that brother of mine]} And yet [St. John]_{177-st. john} is [a good man]_{4605-a good man} , " said [Diana]_400-diana . "_{[4605-a good man]} [He]_{177-st. john} is [a good and a great man]_{3989-a good and a great man} ; but [he]_{177-st. john} forgets , pitilessly , the feelings and claims of [little people]_{3990-little people} , in pursuing [his]_{177-st. john} own large views . It is better , therefore , for [the insignificant]_{3991-the insignificant} to keep out of [his]_{177-st. john} way , lest , in [his]_{177-st. john} progress , [he]_{177-st. john} should trample [them]_{3991-the insignificant} down . Here [he]_{177-st. john} comes ! [I]_0-i will leave [you]_0-i , [Diana]_400-diana . " And [I]_3992-i hastened [upstairs]_552-upstairs as [I]_3992-i saw [him]_{177-st. john} entering [the garden]_{4568-the garden} . But [I]_3992-i was forced to meet [him]_{177-st. john} again at supper . During that meal [he]_{177-st. john} appeared just as composed as usual . [I]_3992-i had thought [he]_{177-st. john} would hardly speak to [me]_3992-i , and [I]_3992-i was certain [he]_{177-st. john} had given up the pursuit of [his]_{177-st. john} matrimonial scheme : the sequel showed [I]_3992-i was mistaken on both points . [He]_{177-st. john} addressed [me]_3992-i precisely in [his]_{177-st. john} ordinary manner , or what had , of late , been [his]_{177-st. john} ordinary manner - one scrupulously polite . No doubt [he]_{177-st. john} had invoked the help of [the Holy Spirit]_{7481-the holy spirit} to subdue the anger [I]_3992-i had roused in [him]_{177-st. john} , and now believed [he]_{177-st. john} had forgiven [me]_3992-i once more . For the evening reading before prayers , [he]_{177-st. john} selected the twenty - first chapter of Revelation . It was at all times pleasant to listen while from [his]_{177-st. john} lips fell the words of the Bible : never did [his]_{177-st. john} fine voice sound at once so sweet and full - never did [his]_{177-st. john} manner become so impressive in its noble simplicity , as when [he]_{177-st. john} delivered the oracles of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} : and to - night that voice took a more solemn tone - that manner a more thrilling meaning - as [he]_{177-st. john} sat in the midst of [[his]_{177-st. john} household]_{7482-his household} circle the May moon shining in through the uncurtained window , and rendering almost unnecessary the light of the candle on the table : as [he]_{177-st. john} sat there , bending over the great old Bible , and described from its page the vision of [the new heaven]_{7483-the new heaven} and [the new earth]_{7484-the new earth} - told how [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} would come to dwell with [men]_482-men , how [He]_{177-st. john} would wipe away all tears from [their]_482-men eyes , and promised that there should be no more death , neither sorrow nor crying , nor any more pain , because the former things were passed away . The succeeding words thrilled [me]_3992-i strangely as [he]_{177-st. john} spoke them : especially as [I]_3992-i felt , by the slight , indescribable alteration in sound , that in uttering them , [his]_{177-st. john} eye had turned on [me]_3992-i . "_[3992-i] [He]_3992-i that overcometh shall inherit all things ; and [I]_0-i will be [[his]_3992-i God]_{3993-his god} , and [he]_3992-i shall be [[my]_0-i son]_{3994-my son} . But , " was slowly , distinctly read , "_[3995-their] the fearful , the unbelieving , c. , shall have [their]_3995-their part in [the lake]_{4455-the lake} which burneth with fire and brimstone , which is the second death . " Henceforward , [I]_146-jane knew what fate [St. John]_{177-st. john} feared for [me]_146-jane . A calm , subdued triumph , blent with a longing earnestness , marked [his]_{177-st. john} enunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter . [The reader]_{947-the reader} believed [his]_{177-st. john} name was already written in [the Lamb]_{443-the lamb} 's book of life , and [he]_{177-st. john} yearned after the hour which should admit [him]_{177-st. john} to [the city to which [the kings of [the earth]_{663-the earth}]_{7488-the kings of the earth} bring [their]_{7488-the kings of the earth} glory and honour ; which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it]_{7487-the city to which the kings of the earth bring their glory and honour ; which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it} , because the glory of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} lightens it , and [the Lamb]_{443-the lamb} is the light thereof . In the prayer following the chapter , all [his]_{177-st. john} energy gathered - all [his]_{177-st. john} stern zeal woke : [he]_{177-st. john} was in deep earnest , wrestling with [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , and resolved on a conquest . [He]_{177-st. john} supplicated strength for [the weak- hearted]_{7490-the weak- hearted} ; guidance for [wanderers from the fold]_{7491-wanderers from the fold} : a return , even at the eleventh hour , for [those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path]_{7492-those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path} . [He]_{177-st. john} asked , [he]_{177-st. john} urged , [he]_{177-st. john} claimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning . Earnestness is ever deeply solemn : first , as [I]_146-jane listened to that prayer , [I]_146-jane wondered at [his]_{177-st. john} ; then , when it continued and rose , [I]_146-jane was touched by it , and at last awed . [He]_{177-st. john} felt the greatness and goodness of [his]_{177-st. john} purpose so sincerely : others who heard [him]_{177-st. john} plead for it , could not but feel it too . The prayer over , [we]_7493-we took leave of [him]_{177-st. john} : [he]_{177-st. john} was to go at a very early hour in the morning . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary having kissed [him]_{177-st. john} , left [the room]_{535-the room} - in compliance , [I]_146-jane think , with a whispered hint from [him]_{177-st. john} : [I]_146-jane tendered [my]_146-jane hand , and wished [him]_{177-st. john} a pleasant journey . "_[146-jane] Thank [you]_3997-you , [Jane]_146-jane . As [I]_0-i said , [I]_0-i shall return from [Cambridge]_{136-cambridge} in a fortnight : [that space]_{3998-that space} , then , is yet left [you]_3997-you for reflection . If [I]_0-i listened to human pride , [I]_0-i should say no more to [you]_3997-you of marriage with [me]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i listen to [my]_0-i duty , and keep steadily in view [my]_0-i first aim - to do all things to the glory of [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} . [[My]_0-i Master]_{4336-my master} was long - suffering : so will [I]_0-i be . [I]_0-i can not give [you]_3997-you up to perdition as a vessel of wrath : repent - resolve , while there is yet time . Remember , [we]_4000-we are bid to work while it is day - warned that ' the night cometh when [no man]_{7112-no man} shall work . ' Remember the fate of [Dives]_444-dives , who had [his]_444-dives good things in this life . [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} give [you]_3997-you strength to choose that better part which shall not be taken from [you]_3997-you ! " [He]_0-i laid [his]_0-i hand on [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} head as [he]_0-i uttered the last words . [He]_0-i had spoken earnestly , mildly : [his]_0-i look was not , indeed , that of [a lover beholding [[his]_0-i mistress]_{3030-his mistress}]_{7495-a lover beholding his mistress} , but it was that of [a pastor recalling [his]_0-i wandering sheep]_{7497-a pastor recalling his wandering sheep} - or better , of [a guardian angel watching the soul for which [he]_0-i is responsible]_{7498-a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is responsible} . [All men of talent]_{7499-all men of talent} , whether [they]_{7499-all men of talent} be [men of feeling or not]_{7500-men of feeling or not} ; whether [they]_{7499-all men of talent} be zealots , or [aspirants]_{7501-aspirants} , or [despots]_7502-despots - provided only [they]_{7499-all men of talent} be sincere - have [their]_{7499-all men of talent} sublime moments , when [they]_{7499-all men of talent} subdue and rule . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} felt veneration for [St. John]_{177-st. john} - veneration so strong that its impetus thrust [me]_{180-mrs. fairfax} at once to the point [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had so long shunned . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was tempted to cease struggling with [him]_{177-st. john} - to rush down the torrent of [his]_{177-st. john} will into the gulf of [his]_{177-st. john} existence , and there lose [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} own . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was almost as hard beset by [him]_{177-st. john} now as [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} had been once before , in a different way , by another . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was [a fool]_{1546-a fool} both times . To have yielded then would have been an error of principle ; to have yielded now would have been an error of judgment . So [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} think at this hour , when [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} look back to the crisis through the quiet medium of time : [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} was unconscious of folly at the instant . [I]_{180-mrs. fairfax} stood motionless under [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} hierophant 's touch . [My]_{180-mrs. fairfax} refusals were forgotten - [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} fears overcome - [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} wrestlings paralysed . The Impossible - [I.E.]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [my]_{180-mrs. fairfax} marriage with [St. John]_{177-st. john} - was fast becoming the Possible . All was changing utterly with a sudden sweep . Religion called - [Angels]_445-angels beckoned - [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} commanded - life rolled together like a scroll - death 's gates opening , showed eternity beyond : it seemed , that for safety and bliss there , all here might be sacrificed in a second . [The dim room]_{7504-the dim room} was full of visions . "_{[180-mrs. fairfax]} Could [you]_4002-i decide now ? " asked [the missionary]_{3902-the missionary} . The inquiry was put in gentle tones : [he]_{177-st. john} drew [me]_4002-i to [him]_{177-st. john} as gently . Oh , that gentleness ! how far more potent is it than force ! [I]_4002-i could resist [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's wrath : [I]_4002-i grew pliant as a reed under [his]_{177-st. john} kindness . Yet [I]_4002-i knew all the time , if [I]_4002-i yielded now , [I]_4002-i should not the less be made to repent , some day , of [my]_4002-i former rebellion . [His]_{177-st. john} nature was not changed by one hour of solemn prayer : it was only elevated . "_[4002-i] [I]_0-i could decide if [I]_0-i were but certain , " [I]_0-i answered : "_[0-i] were [I]_0-i but convinced that it is [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} 's will [I]_0-i should marry [you]_4002-i , [I]_0-i could vow to marry [you]_4002-i here and now - come afterwards what would ! " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i prayers are heard ! " ejaculated [St. John]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} pressed [his]_{177-st. john} hand firmer on [my]_0-i head , as if [he]_{177-st. john} claimed [me]_0-i : [he]_{177-st. john} surrounded [me]_0-i with [his]_{177-st. john} arm , ALMOST as if [he]_{177-st. john} loved [me]_0-i [I]_0-i say ALMOST - [I]_0-i knew the difference - for [I]_0-i had felt what it was to be loved ; but , like [him]_{177-st. john} , [I]_0-i had now put love out of the question , and thought only of duty . [I]_0-i contended with [my]_0-i inward dimness of vision , before which clouds yet rolled . [I]_0-i sincerely , deeply , fervently longed to do what was right ; and only that . "_[0-i] Show [me]_0-i , show [me]_0-i the path ! " [I]_0-i entreated of [Heaven]_285-heaven . [I]_0-i was excited more than [I]_0-i had ever been ; and whether what followed was the effect of excitement [the reader]_{947-the reader} shall judge . All [the house]_{4322-the house} was still ; for [I]_0-i believe all , except [St. John]_{177-st. john} and [myself]_0-i , were now retired to rest . The one candle was dying out : [the room]_{535-the room} was full of moonlight . [My]_0-i heart beat fast and thick : [I]_0-i heard its throb . Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through , and passed at once to [my]_0-i head and extremities . The feeling was not like an electric shock , but it was quite as sharp , as strange , as startling : it acted on [my]_0-i senses as if [their]_7509-they utmost activity hitherto had been but torpor , from which [they]_7509-they were now summoned and forced to wake . [They]_7509-they rose expectant : eye and ear waited while the flesh quivered on [my]_0-i bones . "_[0-i] What have [you]_0-i heard ? What do [you]_0-i see ? " asked [St. John]_{177-st. john} . [I]_146-jane saw nothing , but [I]_146-jane heard a voice somewhere cry - "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! " - nothing more . "_[146-jane] O [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} ! what is it ? " [I]_146-jane gasped . [I]_146-jane might have said , "_[146-jane] Where is it ? " for it did not seem in [the room]_{535-the room} - nor in [the house]_{4322-the house} - nor in [the garden]_{4568-the garden} ; it did not come out of the air - nor from under [the earth]_{663-the earth} - nor from overhead . [I]_146-jane had heard it - where , or whence , for ever impossible to know ! And it was the voice of [a human being]_{2921-a human being} - [a known , loved , well - remembered voice]_{7515-a known , loved , well - remembered voice} - that of [Edward Fairfax Rochester]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} ; and it spoke in pain and woe , wildly , eerily , urgently . "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i am coming ! " [I]_146-jane cried . "_[146-jane] Wait for [me]_0-i ! Oh , [I]_0-i will come ! " [I]_0-i flew to the door and looked into [the passage]_{4815-the passage} : it was dark . [I]_0-i ran out into [the garden]_{4568-the garden} : it was void . "_[0-i] Where are [you]_0-i ? " [I]_0-i exclaimed . [The hills beyond [Marsh Glen]_{132-marsh glen}]_{7518-the hills beyond marsh glen} sent the answer faintly back - "_[0-i] Where are [you]_0-i ? " [I]_0-i listened . The wind sighed low in the firs : all was moorland loneliness and midnight hush . "_[0-i] Down superstition ! " [I]_0-i commented , as [that spectre]_{7519-that spectre} rose up black by the black yew at the gate . "_[0-i] This is not [thy]_4003-thy deception , nor [thy]_4003-thy witchcraft : it is the work of nature . [She]_4004-i was roused , and did - no miracle - but [her]_4004-i best . " [I]_4004-i broke from [St. John]_{177-st. john} , who had followed , and would have detained [me]_4004-i . It was [MY]_4004-i time to assume ascendency . [MY]_4004-i powers were in play and in force . [I]_4004-i told [him]_{177-st. john} to forbear question or remark ; [I]_4004-i desired [him]_{177-st. john} to leave [me]_4004-i : [I]_4004-i must and would be alone . [He]_{177-st. john} obeyed at once . Where there is energy to command well enough , obedience never fails . [I]_4004-i mounted to [[my]_4004-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} ; locked [myself]_4004-i in ; fell on [my]_4004-i knees ; and prayed in [my]_4004-i way - a different way to [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's , but effective in its own fashion . [I]_4004-i seemed to penetrate very near a Mighty Spirit ; and [my]_4004-i soul rushed out in gratitude at [His]_{177-st. john} feet . [I]_4004-i rose from the thanksgiving - took a resolve - and lay down , unscared , enlightened - eager but for the daylight . CHAPTER XXXVI The daylight came . [I]_4004-i rose at dawn . [I]_4004-i busied [myself]_4004-i for an hour or two with arranging [my]_4004-i things in [[my]_4004-i chamber]_{1419-my chamber} , drawers , and wardrobe , in the order wherein [I]_4004-i should wish to leave them during a brief absence . Meantime , [I]_4004-i heard [St. John]_{177-st. john} quit [[his]_{177-st. john} room]_{1844-his room} . [He]_{177-st. john} stopped at [my]_4004-i door : [I]_4004-i feared [he]_{177-st. john} would knock - no , but a slip of paper was passed under the door . [I]_4004-i took it up . It bore these words - "_[4004-i] [You]_4005-you left [me]_0-i too suddenly last night . Had [you]_4005-you stayed but a little longer , [you]_4005-you would have laid [your]_4005-you hand on the [Christian]_{418-christian} 's cross and the angel 's crown . [I]_0-i shall expect [your]_4005-you clear decision when [I]_0-i return this day fortnight . Meantime , watch and pray that [you]_4005-you enter not into temptation : the spirit , [I]_0-i trust , is willing , but the flesh , [I]_0-i see , is weak . [I]_0-i shall pray for [you]_4005-you hourly . - [Yours]_4005-you , [ST . JOHN]_{413-mr. st john} . " "_[4005-you] [My]_0-i spirit , " [I]_0-i answered mentally , "_[0-i] is willing to do what is right ; and [my]_0-i flesh , [I]_0-i hope , is strong enough to accomplish the will of [Heaven]_285-heaven , when once that will is distinctly known to [me]_0-i . At any rate , it shall be strong enough to search - inquire - to grope an outlet from this cloud of doubt , and find the open day of certainty . " It was the first of June ; yet the morning was overcast and chilly : rain beat fast on [my]_6085-cousin casement . [I]_6085-cousin heard the front - door open , and [St. John]_{177-st. john} pass out . Looking through the window , [I]_6085-cousin saw [him]_{177-st. john} traverse [the garden]_{4568-the garden} . [He]_{177-st. john} took the way over [the misty moors]_{7524-the misty moors} in [the direction of [Whitcross]_99-whitcross]_{7525-the direction of whitcross} - there [he]_{177-st. john} would meet [the coach]_{853-the coach} . "_{[6085-cousin]} In a few more hours [I]_0-i shall succeed [you]_{413-mr. st john} in [that track]_{4006-that track} , [cousin]_6085-cousin , " thought [I]_6085-cousin : "_{[6085-cousin]} [I]_0-i too have [a coach]_{835-a coach} to meet at [Whitcross]_99-whitcross . [I]_0-i too have some to see and ask after in [England]_21-england , before [I]_0-i depart for ever . " It wanted yet two hours of breakfast - time . [I]_4009-i filled the interval in walking softly about [[my]_4009-i room]_{4787-my room} , and pondering the visitation which had given [my]_4009-i plans their present bent . [I]_4009-i recalled that inward sensation [I]_4009-i had experienced : for [I]_4009-i could recall it , with all its unspeakable strangeness . [I]_4009-i recalled the voice [I]_4009-i had heard ; again [I]_4009-i questioned whence it came , as vainly as before : it seemed in [ME]_4009-i - not in [the external world]_{7528-the external world} . [I]_4009-i asked was it a mere nervous impression - a delusion ? [I]_4009-i could not conceive or believe : it was more like an inspiration . The wondrous shock of feeling had come like the earthquake which shook the foundations of [Paul]_{442-st. paul} and [[Silas]_446-silas 's prison]_{7529-silas 's prison} ; it had opened the doors of [the soul 's cell]_{7530-the soul 's cell} and loosed its bands - it had wakened [it]_{7530-the soul 's cell} out of [its]_{7530-the soul 's cell} sleep , whence it sprang trembling , listening , aghast ; then vibrated thrice a cry on [my]_4009-i startled ear , and in [my]_4009-i quaking heart and through [my]_4009-i spirit , which neither feared nor shook , but exulted as if in joy over the success of one effort it had been privileged to make , independent of the cumbrous body . "_[4009-i] Ere many days , " [I]_4009-i said , as [I]_4009-i terminated [my]_4009-i musings , "_[4009-i] [I]_0-i will know something of [him]_4009-i whose voice seemed last night to summon [me]_0-i . [Letters]_447-letters have proved of no avail - personal inquiry shall replace them . " At breakfast [I]_447-letters announced to [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary that [I]_447-letters was going a journey , and should be absent at least four days . "_{[447-letters]} Alone , [Jane]_146-jane ? " [they]_7531-they asked . "_[146-jane] Yes ; it was to see or hear news of [a friend about whom [I]_0-i had for some time been uneasy]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} . " [They]_7531-they might have said , as [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} have no doubt [they]_7531-they thought , that [they]_7531-they had believed [me]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} to be without [any friends]_{7532-any friends} save [them]_7531-they : for , indeed , [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} had often said so ; but , with [their]_7531-they true natural delicacy , [they]_7531-they abstained from comment , except that [Diana]_400-diana asked [me]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} if [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} was sure [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} was well enough to travel . [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} looked very pale , [she]_400-diana observed . [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} replied , that nothing ailed [me]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} save anxiety of mind , which [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} hoped soon to alleviate . It was easy to make [my]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} further arrangements ; for [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} was troubled with no inquiries - no surmises . Having once explained to [them]_7531-they that [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} could not now be explicit about [my]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} plans , [they]_7531-they kindly and wisely acquiesced in the silence with which [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} pursued [them]_7531-they , according to [me]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} the privilege of free action [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} should under similar circumstances have accorded [them]_7531-they . [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} left [Moor House]_{104-moor house} at three o'clock p.m. , and soon after four [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} stood at the foot of [the sign - post of Whitcross]_{7533-the sign - post of whitcross} , waiting the arrival of [the coach]_{853-the coach} which was to take [me]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} to [distant Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . Amidst the silence of [those solitary roads]_{7535-those solitary roads} and [desert hills]_{7536-desert hills} , [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} heard it approach from a great distance . It was [the same vehicle]_{7537-the same vehicle} whence , a year ago , [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} had alighted one summer evening on this very spot - how desolate , and hopeless , and objectless ! It stopped as [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} beckoned . [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} entered - not now obliged to part with [my]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} whole fortune as the price of [its]_{853-the coach} accommodation . Once more on [the road to [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield}]_{7538-the road to thornfield} , [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} felt like [the messenger - pigeon]_{7539-the messenger - pigeon} flying [home]_509-home . It was a journey of six - and - thirty hours . [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} had set out from [Whitcross]_99-whitcross on a Tuesday afternoon , and early on the succeeding Thursday morning [the coach]_{853-the coach} stopped to water the horses at [a wayside inn]_{7542-a wayside inn} , situated in the midst of scenery whose green hedges and large fields and [low pastoral hills]_{7543-low pastoral hills} how mild of feature and verdant of hue compared with [the stern North - Midland moors of [Morton]_105-morton]_{7544-the stern north - midland moors of morton} ! met [my]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} eye like the lineaments of a once familiar face . Yes , [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} knew the character of [this landscape]_{7545-this landscape} : [I]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} was sure [we]_7546-we were near [[my]_{4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy} bourne]_{7547-my bourne} . "_{[4010-a friend about whom i had for some time been uneasy]} How far is [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} from here ? " [I]_4353-ma'am asked of [the ostler]_{2670-the ostler} . "_[4353-ma'am] Just two miles , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , across [the fields]_{6688-the fields} . " "_[4353-ma'am] [My]_0-i journey is closed , " [I]_0-i thought to [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i got out of [the coach]_{853-the coach} , gave a box [I]_0-i had into [the ostler]_{2670-the ostler} 's charge , to be kept till [I]_0-i called for it ; paid [my]_0-i fare ; satisfied [the coachman]_{4912-the coachman} , and was going : the brightening day gleamed on the sign of [the inn]_{7552-the inn} , and [I]_0-i read in gilt letters , "_[0-i] [The Rochester Arms]_{140-the rochester arms} . " [My]_0-i heart leapt up : [I]_0-i was already on [[[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's very lands]_{7554-my master 's very lands} . It fell again : the thought struck it:- "_[0-i] [[Your]_0-i master]_{4013-your master} [himself]_{4013-your master} may be beyond [the British Channel]_{141-the british channel} , for aught [you]_0-i know : and then , if [he]_{4013-your master} is at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , towards which [you]_0-i hasten , who besides [him]_{4013-your master} is there ? [[His]_{4013-your master} lunatic wife]_{4014-his lunatic wife} : and [you]_0-i have nothing to do with [him]_{4013-your master} : [you]_0-i dare not speak to [him]_{4013-your master} or seek [his]_{4013-your master} presence . [You]_0-i have lost [your]_0-i labour - [you]_0-i had better go no farther , " urged [the monitor]_{7555-the monitor} . "_[0-i] Ask information of [the people at [the inn]_{7552-the inn}]_{4015-the people at the inn} ; [they]_{4015-the people at the inn} can give [you]_0-i all [you]_0-i seek : [they]_{4015-the people at the inn} can solve [your]_0-i doubts at once . Go up to [that man]_{3029-that man} , and inquire if [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} be at [home]_509-home . " The suggestion was sensible , and yet [I]_0-i could not force [myself]_0-i to act on it . [I]_0-i so dreaded a reply that would crush [me]_0-i with despair . To prolong doubt was to prolong hope . [I]_0-i might yet once more see [the Hall]_{608-the hall} under the ray of [her]_{608-the hall} star . There was the stile before [me]_0-i - [the very fields through which [I]_0-i had hurried]_{7557-the very fields through which i had hurried} , blind , deaf , distracted with a revengeful fury tracking and scourging [me]_0-i , on the morning [I]_0-i fled from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} : ere [I]_0-i well knew what course [I]_0-i had resolved to take , [I]_0-i was in the midst of [them]_7558-them . How fast [I]_0-i walked ! How [I]_0-i ran sometimes ! How [I]_0-i looked forward to catch the first view of [the well - known woods]_{7559-the well - known woods} ! With what feelings [I]_0-i welcomed single trees [I]_0-i knew , and familiar glimpses of meadow and [hill between]_{7560-hill between} [them]_{7559-the well - known woods} ! At last [the woods]_{662-the woods} rose ; [the rookery]_{7562-the rookery} clustered dark ; a loud cawing broke the morning stillness . Strange delight inspired [me]_0-i : on [I]_0-i hastened . [Another field]_{7563-another field} crossed - [a lane]_{6796-a lane} threaded - and there were the courtyard walls - [the back offices]_{7565-the back offices} : [the house itself]_{7566-the house itself} , [the rookery]_{7562-the rookery} still hid . "_[0-i] [My]_0-i first view of [it]_4019-it shall be in front , " [I]_0-i determined , "_[0-i] where [its]_4019-it bold battlements will strike the eye nobly at once , and where [I]_0-i can single out [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} 's very window : perhaps [he]_{4336-my master} will be standing at it - [he]_{4336-my master} rises early : perhaps [he]_{4336-my master} is now walking in [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} , or on the pavement in front . Could [I]_0-i but see [him]_{4336-my master} ! - but a moment ! Surely , in that case , [I]_0-i should not be so mad as to run to [him]_{4336-my master} ? [I]_0-i can not tell - [I]_0-i am not certain . And if [I]_0-i did - what then ? [God]_{180-mrs. fairfax} bless [him]_{4336-my master} ! What then ? Who would be hurt by [my]_0-i once more tasting the life [his]_{4336-my master} glance can give [me]_0-i ? [I]_0-i rave : perhaps at this moment [he]_{4336-my master} is watching the sun rise over [the Pyrenees]_{142-the pyrenees} , or on [the tideless sea of the south]_{4022-the tideless sea of the south} . " [I]_0-i had coasted along the lower wall of [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} - turned its angle : there was a gate just there , opening into [the meadow]_{7569-the meadow} , between two stone pillars crowned by stone balls . From behind one pillar [I]_0-i could peep round quietly at the full front of [the mansion]_{568-the mansion} . [I]_0-i advanced [my]_0-i head with precaution , desirous to ascertain if any bedroom window - blinds were yet drawn up : battlements , windows , long front - all from [this sheltered station]_{7571-this sheltered station} were at [my]_0-i command . The crows sailing overhead perhaps watched [me]_0-i while [I]_0-i took this survey . [I]_0-i wonder what [they]_7572-they thought . [They]_7572-they must have considered [I]_0-i was very careful and timid at first , and that gradually [I]_0-i grew very bold and reckless . A peep , and then a long stare ; and then a departure from [my]_0-i niche and a straying out into [the meadow]_{7569-the meadow} ; and a sudden stop full in front of [the great mansion]_{7574-the great mansion} , and a protracted , hardy gaze towards [it]_{7574-the great mansion} . "_[0-i] What affectation of diffidence was this at first ? " [they]_7572-they might have demanded ; "_[0-i] what stupid regardlessness now ? " Hear an illustration , [reader]_496-reader . [A lover]_{7576-a lover} finds [[his]_{7576-a lover} mistress]_{3030-his mistress} asleep on [a mossy bank]_{7578-a mossy bank} ; [he]_{7576-a lover} wishes to catch a glimpse of [her]_{3030-his mistress} fair face without waking [her]_{3030-his mistress} . [He]_{7576-a lover} steals softly over the grass , careful to make no sound ; [he]_{7576-a lover} pauses - fancying [she]_{3030-his mistress} has stirred : [he]_{7576-a lover} withdraws : not for worlds would [he]_{7576-a lover} be seen . All is still : [he]_{7576-a lover} again advances : [he]_{7576-a lover} bends above [her]_{3030-his mistress} ; a light veil rests on [her]_{3030-his mistress} features : [he]_{7576-a lover} lifts it , bends lower ; now [his]_{7576-a lover} eyes anticipate the vision of beauty - warm , and blooming , and lovely , in rest . How hurried was [their]_7572-they first glance ! But how [they]_7572-they fix ! How [he]_{7576-a lover} starts ! How [he]_{7576-a lover} suddenly and vehemently clasps in both arms the form [he]_{7576-a lover} dared not , a moment since , touch with [his]_{7576-a lover} finger ! How [he]_{7576-a lover} calls aloud a name , and drops [his]_{7576-a lover} burden , and gazes on it wildly ! [He]_{7576-a lover} thus grasps and cries , and gazes , because [he]_{7576-a lover} no longer fears to waken by any sound [he]_{7576-a lover} can utter - by any movement [he]_{7576-a lover} can make . [He]_{7576-a lover} thought [his]_{7576-a lover} love slept sweetly : [he]_{7576-a lover} finds [she]_{3030-his mistress} is stone dead . [I]_4023-i looked with timorous joy towards [a stately house]_{7579-a stately house} : [I]_4023-i saw [a blackened ruin]_{7580-a blackened ruin} . No need to cower behind a gate - post , indeed ! - to peep up at chamber lattices , fearing life was astir behind them ! No need to listen for doors opening - to fancy steps on the pavement or the gravel - walk ! [The lawn]_{633-the lawn} , [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} were trodden and waste : the portal yawned void . [The front]_{7583-the front} was , as [I]_4023-i had once seen [it]_{7583-the front} in a dream , but a well - like wall , very high and very fragile - looking , perforated with paneless windows : no roof , no battlements , no chimneys - all had crashed in . And there was the silence of death about it : the solitude of [a lonesome wild]_{7584-a lonesome wild} . No wonder that letters addressed to [people here]_{7585-people here} had never received an answer : as well despatch epistles to a vault in [a church aisle]_{7586-a church aisle} . The grim blackness of the stones told by what fate [the Hall]_{608-the hall} had fallen - by conflagration : but how kindled ? What story belonged to this disaster ? What loss , besides mortar and marble and wood - work had followed upon it ? Had life been wrecked as well as [property]_{7588-property} ? If so , whose ? Dreadful question : there was [no one]_{593-no one} here to answer it - not even dumb sign , mute token . In wandering round the shattered walls and through the devastated interior , [I]_4023-i gathered evidence that the calamity was not of late occurrence . Winter snows , [I]_4023-i thought , had drifted through [that void arch]_{7590-that void arch} , winter rains beaten in at those hollow casements ; for , amidst the drenched piles of rubbish , spring had cherished vegetation : grass and weed grew here and there between the stones and fallen rafters . And oh ! where meantime was [the hapless owner of this wreck]_{7591-the hapless owner of this wreck} ? In [what land]_{7592-what land} ? Under what auspices ? [My]_4023-i eye involuntarily wandered to [the grey church tower near the gates]_{7593-the grey church tower near the gates} , and [I]_4023-i asked , "_[4023-i] Is [he]_4023-i with [Damer de Rochester]_{375-damer de rochester} , sharing the shelter of [[his]_4023-i narrow marble house]_{4024-his narrow marble house} ? " Some answer must be had to these questions . [I]_{375-damer de rochester} could find it nowhere but at [the inn]_{7552-the inn} , and thither , ere long , [I]_{375-damer de rochester} returned . [The host]_{7595-the host} [himself]_{7595-the host} brought [my]_{375-damer de rochester} breakfast into [the parlour]_{793-the parlour} . [I]_{375-damer de rochester} requested [him]_{7595-the host} to shut the door and sit down : [I]_{375-damer de rochester} had some questions to ask [him]_{7595-the host} . But when [he]_{7595-the host} complied , [I]_{375-damer de rochester} scarcely knew how to begin ; such horror had [I]_{375-damer de rochester} of the possible answers . And yet the spectacle of desolation [I]_{375-damer de rochester} had just left prepared [me]_{375-damer de rochester} in a measure for a tale of misery . [The host]_{7595-the host} was [a respectable - looking , middle - aged man]_{7598-a respectable - looking , middle - aged man} . "_{[375-damer de rochester]} [You]_4025-you know [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} , of course ? " [I]_{375-damer de rochester} managed to say at last . "_{[375-damer de rochester]} Yes , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am ; [I]_0-i lived [there]_4426-there once . " "_[4025-you] Did [you]_4025-you ? " Not in [my]_4025-you time , [I]_4025-you thought : [you]_4025-you are [a stranger to [me]_4025-you]_{7599-a stranger to me} . "_[4025-you] [I]_0-i was [the late [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's butler]_{4029-mr. rochester 's butler}]_{4028-the late mr. rochester 's butler} , " [he]_0-i added . [The late]_{7600-the late} ! [I]_{7600-the late} seem to have received , with full force , the blow [I]_{7600-the late} had been trying to evade . "_{[7600-the late]} [The late]_{7600-the late} ! " [I]_{7600-the late} gasped . "_{[7600-the late]} Is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} dead ? " "_{[4031-the present gentleman]} [I]_0-i mean [the present gentleman]_{4031-the present gentleman} , [[Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} 's father]_{4032-mr. edward 's father} , " [he]_0-i explained . [I]_{4031-the present gentleman} breathed again : [my]_{4031-the present gentleman} blood resumed its flow . Fully assured by these words that [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} - [MY]_{4031-the present gentleman} Mr. [Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} God bless [him]_{273-mr. edward} , wherever [he]_{273-mr. edward} was ! - was at least alive : was , in short , "_{[4031-the present gentleman]} [the present gentleman]_{4031-the present gentleman} . " Gladdening words ! It seemed [I]_{4031-the present gentleman} could hear all that was to come - whatever the disclosures might be - with comparative tranquillity . Since [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not in the grave , [I]_{4031-the present gentleman} could bear , [I]_{4031-the present gentleman} thought , to learn that [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was at [the Antipodes]_{144-the antipodes} . "_{[4031-the present gentleman]} Is [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} living at [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} now ? " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} asked , knowing , of course , what the answer would be , but yet desirous of deferring the direct question as to where [he]_{251-mr. rochester} really was . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} No , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am - oh , no ! [No one]_{593-no one} is living [there]_4426-there . [I]_0-i suppose [you]_4353-ma'am are a stranger in these parts , or [you]_4353-ma'am would have heard what happened last autumn , - [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} is quite a ruin : [it]_{53-thornfield hall} was burnt down just about harvest - time . A dreadful calamity ! such an immense quantity of valuable property destroyed : hardly any of the furniture could be saved . The fire broke out at dead of night , and before the engines arrived from [Millcote]_44-millcote , [the building]_{4536-the building} was one mass of flame . It was a terrible spectacle : [I]_0-i witnessed it [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] At dead of night ! " [I]_0-i muttered . Yes , that was ever the hour of fatality at [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} . "_[0-i] Was it known how it originated ? " [I]_4038-they demanded . "_[4038-they] [They]_4038-they guessed , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : [they]_4038-they guessed . Indeed , [I]_0-i should say it was ascertained beyond a doubt . [You]_4353-ma'am are not perhaps aware , " [he]_0-i continued , edging [his]_0-i chair a little nearer the table , and speaking low , "_[4353-ma'am] that there was [a lady]_{4932-a lady} - a - [a lunatic]_{3674-a lunatic} , kept in [the house]_{4322-the house} ? " "_{[4932-a lady]} [I]_0-i have heard something of it . " "_{[4932-a lady]} [She]_{4932-a lady} was kept in very close confinement , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : [people]_4493-people even for some years was not absolutely certain of [her]_{4932-a lady} existence . [No one]_{593-no one} saw [her]_{4932-a lady} : [they]_4493-people only knew by rumour that [such a person]_{4046-such a person} was at [the Hall]_{608-the hall} ; and who or what [she]_{4932-a lady} was it was difficult to conjecture . [They]_4493-people said [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} had brought [her]_{4932-a lady} from abroad , and [some]_1182-some believed [she]_{4932-a lady} had been [[his]_{273-mr. edward} mistress]_{3030-his mistress} . But a queer thing happened a year since - a very queer thing . " [I]_{4050-this lady} feared now to hear [my]_{4050-this lady} own story . [I]_{4050-this lady} endeavoured to recall [him]_{273-mr. edward} to the main fact . "_{[4050-this lady]} And [this lady]_{4050-this lady} ? " "_{[4050-this lady]} [This lady]_{4050-this lady} , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , " [he]_{273-mr. edward} answered , "_{[4050-this lady]} turned out to be [[Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's wife]_{4053-mr. rochester 's wife} ! The discovery was brought about in the strangest way . There was [a young lady]_{4054-a young lady} , [a governess]_{5029-a governess} at [the Hall]_{608-the hall} , that [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} fell in - " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} But the fire , " [I]_0-i suggested . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'm coming to that , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am - that [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} fell in love with . [The servants]_{546-the servants} say [they]_{546-the servants} never saw [anybody]_4330-anybody so much in love as [he]_{273-mr. edward} was : [he]_{273-mr. edward} was after [her]_{4054-a young lady} continually . [They]_{546-the servants} used to watch [him]_{273-mr. edward} - [servants]_{4989-servants} will , [you]_4353-ma'am know , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am - and [he]_{273-mr. edward} set store on [her]_{4054-a young lady} past everything : for all , [[nobody]_4628-nobody but [him]_{273-mr. edward}]_{4063-nobody but him} thought [her]_{4054-a young lady} so very handsome . [She]_{4054-a young lady} was a little small thing , [they]_{546-the servants} say , almost like [a child]_{4305-a child} . [I]_0-i never saw [her]_{4054-a young lady} [myself]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i 've heard [Leah]_195-bessie , [the house - maid]_{573-the house - maid} , tell of [her]_{4054-a young lady} . [Leah]_195-bessie liked [her]_{4054-a young lady} well enough . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was about forty , and [this governess]_{4066-this governess} not twenty ; and [you]_4067-you see , when [gentlemen of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} age]_{4068-gentlemen of his age} fall in love with [girls]_3493-girls , [they]_{4068-gentlemen of his age} are often like as if [they]_{4068-gentlemen of his age} were bewitched . Well , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would marry [her]_{4054-a young lady} . " "_[4067-you] [You]_4067-you shall tell [me]_0-i this part of the story another time , " [I]_4067-you said ; "_[4067-you] but now [I]_0-i have a particular reason for wishing to hear all about the fire . Was it suspected that [this lunatic]_{4070-this lunatic} , [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} , had any hand in it ? " "_[4067-you] [You]_4067-you 've hit it , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : it 's quite certain that it was [her]_{363-mrs. rochester} , and [nobody]_4628-nobody but [her]_{363-mrs. rochester} , that set it going . [She]_{363-mrs. rochester} had [a woman to take care of [her]_{363-mrs. rochester} called [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} - [an able woman in [her]_{363-mrs. rochester} line]_{4074-an able woman in her line} , and very trustworthy , but for one fault - a fault common to [a deal of [them]_4076-them [nurses]_4077-nurses]_{4075-a deal of them nurses} and [matrons]_4078-matrons]_{4073-a woman to take care of her called mrs. poole - an able woman in her line , and very trustworthy , but for one fault - a fault common to a deal of them nurses and matrons} - [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} KEPT [A PRIVATE BOTTLE OF GIN]_{4079-a private bottle of gin} BY [HER]_{363-mrs. rochester} , and now and then took a drop over - much . It is excusable , for [she]_{363-mrs. rochester} had a hard life of it : but still it was dangerous ; for when [Mrs. Poole]_{287-mrs. poole} was fast asleep after the gin and water , [the mad lady]_{4080-the mad lady} , who was as cunning as [a witch]_{4081-a witch} , would take the keys out of [her]_{4080-the mad lady} pocket , let [herself]_{4080-the mad lady} out of [[her]_{4080-the mad lady} chamber]_{6393-her chamber} , and go roaming about [the house]_{4322-the house} , doing any wild mischief that came into [her]_{4080-the mad lady} head . [They]_4084-they say [she]_{4080-the mad lady} had nearly burnt [[her]_{4080-the mad lady} husband]_{620-her husband} in [his]_{620-her husband} bed once : but [I]_0-i do n't know about that . However , on this night , [she]_{4080-the mad lady} set fire first to the hangings of [the room]_{535-the room} next [her]_{4080-the mad lady} own , and then [she]_{4080-the mad lady} got down to [a lower storey]_{4087-a lower storey} , and made [her]_{4080-the mad lady} way to [the chamber that had been [the governess]_{1491-the governess} 's]_{4088-the chamber that had been the governess 's} - [she]_{4080-the mad lady} was like as if [she]_{4080-the mad lady} knew somehow how matters had gone on , and had a spite at [her]_{4080-the mad lady} - and [she]_{4080-the mad lady} kindled the bed [there]_4426-there ; but there was [nobody]_4628-nobody sleeping in [it]_4426-there , fortunately . [The governess]_{1491-the governess} had run away two months before ; and for all [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} sought [her]_{1491-the governess} as if [she]_{1491-the governess} had been the most precious thing [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had in [the world]_{484-the world} , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} never could hear a word of [her]_{1491-the governess} ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} grew savage - quite savage on [his]_{251-mr. rochester} disappointment : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} never was [a wild man]_{4094-a wild man} , but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} got dangerous after [he]_{251-mr. rochester} lost [her]_{1491-the governess} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} would be alone , too . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} sent [Mrs. Fairfax]_{180-mrs. fairfax} , [the housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} , away to [[her]_{180-mrs. fairfax} friends]_{715-her friends} at a distance ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} did it handsomely , for [he]_{251-mr. rochester} settled an annuity on [her]_{1491-the governess} for life : and [she]_{1491-the governess} deserved it - [she]_{1491-the governess} was [a very good woman]_{4097-a very good woman} . [Miss Adele]_259-adele , [a ward [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had]_{4098-a ward he had} , was put to [school]_537-school . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} broke off acquaintance with [all the gentry]_{4100-all the gentry} , and shut [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} up like [a hermit at [the Hall]_{608-the hall}]_{4101-a hermit at the hall} . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} What ! did [he]_{251-mr. rochester} not leave [England]_21-england ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Leave [England]_21-england ? Bless [you]_4103-you , no ! [He]_{251-mr. rochester} would not cross the door - stones of [the house]_{4322-the house} , except at night , when [he]_{251-mr. rochester} walked just like a ghost about [the grounds]_{772-the grounds} and in [the orchard]_{5934-the orchard} as if [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had lost [his]_{251-mr. rochester} senses - which it is [my]_0-i opinion [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had ; for [a more spirited , bolder , keener gentleman]_{4107-a more spirited , bolder , keener gentleman} than [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was before [that midge of a governess]_{4108-that midge of a governess} crossed [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , [you]_4103-you never saw , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was not [a man given to wine , or cards , or racing]_{4110-a man given to wine , or cards , or racing} , as some are , and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was not so very handsome ; but [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had a courage and a will of [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own , if ever [man]_4667-man had . [I]_0-i knew [him]_{251-mr. rochester} from [a boy]_{4112-a boy} , [you]_4103-you see : and for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i have often wished that [Miss Eyre]_146-jane had been sunk in [the sea]_{5042-the sea} before [she]_146-jane came to [Thornfield Hall]_{53-thornfield hall} . " "_[146-jane] Then [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} was at [home]_509-home when the fire broke out ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Yes , indeed was [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ; and [he]_{251-mr. rochester} went up to [the attics]_{1523-the attics} when all was burning above and below , and got [the servants]_{546-the servants} out of [their]_{546-the servants} beds and helped [them]_{546-the servants} down [himself]_{251-mr. rochester} , and went back to get [[his]_{251-mr. rochester} mad wife]_{4117-his mad wife} out of [[her]_{4117-his mad wife} cell]_{3159-her cell} . And then [they]_{546-the servants} called out to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} that [she]_{4117-his mad wife} was on the roof , where [she]_{4117-his mad wife} was standing , waving [her]_{4117-his mad wife} arms , above the battlements , and shouting out till [they]_{546-the servants} could hear [her]_{4117-his mad wife} a mile off : [I]_0-i saw [her]_{4117-his mad wife} and heard [her]_{4117-his mad wife} with [my]_0-i own eyes . [She]_{4117-his mad wife} was [a big woman]_{6553-a big woman} , and had long black hair : [we]_4120-we could see it streaming against the flames as [she]_{4117-his mad wife} stood . [I]_0-i witnessed , and several more witnessed , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ascend through the sky - light on to the roof ; [we]_4120-we heard [him]_{251-mr. rochester} call ' [Bertha]_{378-bertha mason} ! ' [We]_4120-we saw [him]_{251-mr. rochester} approach [her]_{4117-his mad wife} ; and then , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , [she]_{4117-his mad wife} yelled and gave a spring , and the next minute [she]_{4117-his mad wife} lay smashed on the pavement . " "_{[4117-his mad wife]} Dead ? " "_{[4117-his mad wife]} Dead ! Ay , dead as the stones on which [her]_{4117-his mad wife} brains and blood were scattered . " "_[448-god] [Good God]_448-god ! " "_[448-god] [You]_4353-ma'am may well say so , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : it was frightful ! " [He]_4353-ma'am shuddered . "_[4353-ma'am] And afterwards ? " [I]_4353-ma'am urged . "_[4353-ma'am] Well , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , afterwards [the house]_{4322-the house} was burnt to the ground : there are only some bits of walls standing now . " "_[4353-ma'am] Were any other lives lost ? " "_[4353-ma'am] No - perhaps it would have been better if there had . " "_[0-i] What do [you]_0-i mean ? " "_[0-i] [Poor Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} ! " [he]_0-i ejaculated , "_{[273-mr. edward]} [I]_0-i little thought ever to have seen it ! [Some]_1182-some say it was a just judgment on [him]_{251-mr. rochester} for keeping [his]_{251-mr. rochester} first marriage secret , and wanting to take [another wife]_{4126-another wife} while [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had one living : but [I]_0-i pity [him]_{251-mr. rochester} , for [my]_0-i part . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i said [he]_{251-mr. rochester} was alive ? " [I]_0-i exclaimed . "_[0-i] Yes , yes : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is alive ; but [many]_7179-many think [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had better [he]_{251-mr. rochester} dead . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Why ? How ? " [My]_{251-mr. rochester} blood was again running cold . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Where is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " [I]_{251-mr. rochester} demanded . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} in [England]_21-england ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Ay - ay - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} 's in [England]_21-england ; [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ca n't get out of [England]_21-england , [I]_0-i fancy - [he]_{251-mr. rochester} 's [a fixture]_{4128-a fixture} now . " What agony was this ! And [the man]_{1375-the man} seemed resolved to protract it . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is stone - blind , " [he]_{1375-the man} said at last . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Yes , [he]_{251-mr. rochester} is stone - blind , is [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} . " [I]_{273-mr. edward} had dreaded worse . [I]_{273-mr. edward} had dreaded [he]_{1375-the man} was mad . [I]_{273-mr. edward} summoned strength to ask what had caused this calamity . "_{[273-mr. edward]} It was all [his]_{251-mr. rochester} own courage , and [a body]_{4129-a body} may say , [his]_{251-mr. rochester} kindness , in a way , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would n't leave [the house]_{4322-the house} till every one else was out before [him]_{251-mr. rochester} . As [he]_{251-mr. rochester} came down the great staircase at last , after [Mrs. Rochester]_{363-mrs. rochester} had flung [herself]_{363-mrs. rochester} from the battlements , there was a great crash - all fell . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} was taken out from under [the ruins]_{4132-the ruins} , alive , but sadly hurt : a beam had fallen in such a way as to protect [him]_{251-mr. rochester} partly ; but one eye was knocked out , and one hand so crushed that [Mr. Carter]_270-carter , [the surgeon]_{1227-the surgeon} , had to amputate it directly . The other eye inflamed : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} lost the sight of that also . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is now helpless , indeed - blind and [a cripple]_{4134-a cripple} . " "_{[4134-a cripple]} Where is [he]_{251-mr. rochester} ? Where does [he]_{251-mr. rochester} now live ? " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} At [Ferndean]_145-ferndean , [a manor - house on [a farm]_{4136-a farm} [he]_{251-mr. rochester} has]_{4135-a manor - house on a farm he has} , about thirty miles off : quite [a desolate spot]_{4137-a desolate spot} . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Who is with [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ? " "_[449-john] [Old John]_449-john and [[his]_449-john wife]_{4986-his wife} : [he]_{251-mr. rochester} would have [none else]_{4139-none else} . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} is quite broken down , [they]_4140-they say . " "_[4140-they] Have [you]_4141-you any sort of conveyance ? " "_[4141-you] [We]_4142-we have a chaise , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am , a very handsome chaise . " "_[4141-you] Let it be got ready instantly ; and if [[your]_4141-you post - boy]_{4144-your post - boy} can drive [me]_0-i to [Ferndean]_145-ferndean before dark this day , [I]_0-i 'll pay both [you]_4141-you and [him]_{251-mr. rochester} twice the hire [you]_4141-you usually demand . " CHAPTER XXXVII [The manor - house of Ferndean]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} was [a building of considerable antiquity , moderate size , and no architectural pretensions , deep buried in a wood]_{7603-a building of considerable antiquity , moderate size , and no architectural pretensions , deep buried in a wood} . [I]_0-i had heard of [it]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} before . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} often spoke of [it]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} , and sometimes went [there]_4426-there . [[His]_{251-mr. rochester} father]_{5218-his father} had purchased [the estate]_{5225-the estate} for the sake of the game covers . [He]_{5218-his father} would have let [the house]_{4322-the house} , but could find [no tenant]_{7608-no tenant} , in consequence of [its]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} ineligible and insalubrious site . [Ferndean]_145-ferndean then remained uninhabited and unfurnished , with the exception of [some two or three rooms fitted up for the accommodation of [the squire]_{7610-the squire}]_{7609-some two or three rooms fitted up for the accommodation of the squire} when [he]_{7610-the squire} went [there]_4426-there in the season to shoot . To [this house]_{4596-this house} [I]_0-i came just ere dark on an evening marked by the characteristics of sad sky , cold gale , and continued small penetrating rain . The last mile [I]_0-i performed on foot , having dismissed the chaise and [driver]_5922-driver with the double remuneration [I]_0-i had promised . Even when within a very short distance of [the manor - house]_{7614-the manor - house} , [you]_7615-you could see nothing of [it]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} , so thick and dark grew the timber of the gloomy wood about [it]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} . Iron gates between granite pillars showed [me]_0-i where to enter , and passing through [them]_7616-them , [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i at once in the twilight of close - ranked trees . There was a grass - grown track descending [the forest aisle]_{7617-the forest aisle} between hoar and knotty shafts and under branched arches . [I]_0-i followed it , expecting soon to reach [the dwelling]_{7618-the dwelling} ; but [it]_{4596-this house} stretched on and on , it would far and farther : no sign of habitation or [grounds]_7619-grounds was visible . [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i had taken a wrong direction and lost [my]_0-i way . The darkness of natural as well as of sylvan dusk gathered over [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i looked round in search of [another road]_{2668-another road} . There was none : all was interwoven stem , columnar trunk , dense summer foliage - no opening anywhere . [I]_0-i proceeded : at last [my]_0-i way opened , the trees thinned a little ; presently [I]_0-i beheld a railing , then [the house]_{4322-the house} - scarce , by this dim light , distinguishable from the trees ; so dank and green were [its]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} decaying walls . Entering a portal , fastened only by a latch , [I]_0-i stood amidst a space of enclosed ground , from which the wood swept away in a semicircle . There were no flowers , [no garden - beds]_{7622-no garden - beds} ; only a broad gravel - walk girdling a grass - plat , and this set in the heavy frame of [the forest]_{1232-the forest} . [The house]_{4322-the house} presented two pointed gables in [its]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} front ; the windows were latticed and narrow : the front door was narrow too , one step led up to [it]_{7602-the manor - house of ferndean} . The whole looked , as [the host of the Rochester Arms]_{7625-the host of the rochester arms} had said , "_[0-i] quite a desolate spot . " [It]_{4322-the house} was as still as [a church]_{1389-a church} on a week - day : the pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible in [its]_{4322-the house} vicinage . "_[0-i] Can there be life here ? " [I]_0-i asked . Yes , life of some kind there was ; for [I]_0-i heard a movement - that narrow front - door was unclosing , and some shape was about to issue from the grange . [It]_{4322-the house} opened slowly : [a figure]_{5361-a figure} came out into the twilight and stood on the step ; [a man without a hat]_{7628-a man without a hat} : [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} stretched forth [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} hand as if to feel whether it rained . Dusk as it was , [I]_0-i had recognised [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} - it was [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} , [Edward Fairfax Rochester]_{377-edward fairfax rochester} , and [no other]_{7630-no other} . [I]_0-i stayed [my]_0-i step , almost [my]_0-i breath , and stood to watch [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} - to examine [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} , [myself]_0-i unseen , and alas ! to [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} invisible . It was a sudden meeting , and one in which rapture was kept well in check by pain . [I]_0-i had no difficulty in restraining [my]_0-i voice from exclamation , [my]_0-i step from hasty advance . [His]_{7628-a man without a hat} form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as ever : [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} port was still erect , [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} hair was still raven black ; nor were [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} features altered or sunk : not in one year 's space , by any sorrow , could [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} athletic strength be quelled or [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} vigorous prime blighted . But in [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} countenance [I]_0-i saw a change : that looked desperate and brooding - that reminded [me]_0-i of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird , dangerous to approach in [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} sullen woe . The caged eagle , whose gold - ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished , might look as looked that sightless [Samson]_198-sam . And , [reader]_496-reader , do [you]_496-reader think [I]_0-i feared [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} in [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} blind ferocity ? - if [you]_496-reader do , [you]_496-reader little know [me]_0-i . A soft hope blest with [my]_0-i sorrow that soon [I]_0-i should dare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock , and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath it : but not yet . [I]_0-i would not accost [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} yet . [He]_{7628-a man without a hat} descended the one step , and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the grass - plat . Where was [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} daring stride now ? Then [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} paused , as if [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} knew not which way to turn . [He]_{7628-a man without a hat} lifted [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} hand and opened [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} eyelids ; gazed blank , and with a straining effort , on the sky , and toward the amphitheatre of trees : [one]_4415-one saw that all to [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} was void darkness . [He]_{7628-a man without a hat} stretched [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} right hand the left arm , the mutilated one , [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} kept hidden in [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} bosom ; [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} : [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} met but vacancy still ; for the trees were some yards off where [he]_{7628-a man without a hat} stood . [He]_{7628-a man without a hat} relinquished the endeavour , folded [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} arms , and stood quiet and mute in the rain , now falling fast on [his]_{7628-a man without a hat} uncovered head . At this moment [John]_449-john approached [him]_{7628-a man without a hat} from [some quarter]_{7633-some quarter} . "_[0-i] Will [you]_4145-you take [my]_0-i arm , [sir]_4374-sir ? " [he]_0-i said ; "_[4145-you] there is a heavy shower coming on : had [you]_4145-you not better go in ? " "_[4145-you] Let [me]_0-i alone , " was the answer . [John]_449-john withdrew without having observed [me]_4145-you . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} now tried to walk about : vainly , - all was too uncertain . [He]_{251-mr. rochester} groped [his]_{251-mr. rochester} way back to [the house]_{4322-the house} , and , re - entering [it]_{4322-the house} , closed the door . [I]_4145-you now drew near and knocked : [[John]_449-john 's wife]_{5435-john 's wife} opened for [me]_4145-you . "_[4145-you] [Mary]_233-mary , " [I]_4145-you said , "_[4145-you] how are [you]_233-mary ? " [She]_233-mary started as if [she]_233-mary had seen a ghost : [I]_233-mary calmed [her]_233-mary . To [her]_233-mary hurried "_[233-mary] Is it really [you]_233-mary , [miss]_4359-miss , come at this late hour to [this lonely place]_{4148-this lonely place} ? " [I]_233-mary answered by taking [her]_233-mary hand ; and then [I]_233-mary followed [her]_233-mary into [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , where [John]_449-john now sat by a good fire . [I]_233-mary explained to [them]_7637-them , in few words , that [I]_233-mary had heard all which had happened since [I]_233-mary left [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , and that [I]_233-mary was come to see [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . [I]_233-mary asked [John]_449-john to go down to [the turn - pike - house]_{7638-the turn - pike - house} , where [I]_233-mary had dismissed the chaise , and bring [my]_233-mary trunk , which [I]_233-mary had left there : and then , while [I]_233-mary removed [my]_233-mary bonnet and shawl , [I]_233-mary questioned [Mary]_233-mary as to whether [I]_233-mary could be accommodated at [the Manor House]_{7639-the manor house} for the night ; and finding that arrangements to that effect , though difficult , would not be impossible , [I]_233-mary informed [her]_233-mary [I]_233-mary should stay . Just at this moment the parlour - bell rang . "_[233-mary] When [you]_4149-you go in , " said [I]_233-mary , "_[233-mary] tell [[your]_4149-you master]_{4013-your master} that [a person]_{812-a person} wishes to speak to [him]_{4013-your master} , but do not give [my]_0-i name . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n't think [he]_{4013-your master} will see [you]_0-i , " [she]_233-mary answered ; "_{[4013-your master]} [he]_{4013-your master} refuses [everybody]_{4413-everybody} . " When [she]_233-mary returned , [I]_{4013-your master} inquired what [he]_{4013-your master} had said . "_{[4013-your master]} [You]_0-i are to send in [your]_0-i name and [your]_0-i business , " [she]_233-mary replied . [She]_233-mary then proceeded to fill a glass with water , and place it on a tray , together with candles . "_[0-i] Is that what [he]_{4013-your master} rang for ? " [I]_{4013-your master} asked . "_{[4013-your master]} Yes : [he]_{4013-your master} always has candles brought in at dark , though [he]_{4013-your master} is blind . " "_[0-i] Give the tray to [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i will carry it in . " [I]_0-i took it from [her]_233-mary hand : [she]_233-mary pointed [me]_0-i out the parlour door . The tray shook as [I]_0-i held it ; the water spilt from the glass ; [my]_0-i heart struck [my]_0-i ribs loud and fast . [Mary]_233-mary opened the door for [me]_0-i , and shut it behind [me]_0-i . [This parlour]_{3785-this parlour} looked gloomy : a neglected handful of fire burnt low in the grate ; and , leaning over it , with [his]_{4013-your master} head supported against the high , old - fashioned mantelpiece , appeared [the blind tenant of [the room]_{535-the room}]_{7641-the blind tenant of the room} . [His]_{4013-your master} old dog , [Pilot]_267-pilot , lay on one side , removed out of the way , and coiled up as if afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon . [Pilot]_267-pilot pricked up [his]_267-pilot ears when [I]_0-i came in : then [he]_267-pilot jumped up with a yelp and a whine , and bounded towards [me]_0-i : [he]_267-pilot almost knocked the tray from [my]_0-i hands . [I]_0-i set it on the table ; then patted [him]_267-pilot , and said softly , "_[0-i] Lie down ! " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} turned mechanically to SEE what the commotion was : but as [he]_0-i SAW nothing , [he]_0-i returned and sighed . "_[0-i] Give [me]_0-i the water , [Mary]_233-mary , " [he]_0-i said . [I]_233-mary approached [him]_0-i with the now only half - filled glass ; [Pilot]_267-pilot followed [me]_233-mary , still excited . "_[233-mary] What is the matter ? " [he]_0-i inquired . "_[267-pilot] Down , [Pilot]_267-pilot ! " [I]_267-pilot again said . [He]_0-i checked the water on its way to [his]_0-i lips , and seemed to listen : [he]_0-i drank , and put the glass down . "_[267-pilot] This is [you]_233-mary , [Mary]_233-mary , is it not ? " "_[233-mary] [Mary]_233-mary is in [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} , " [I]_233-mary answered . [He]_0-i put out [his]_0-i hand with a quick gesture , but not seeing where [I]_233-mary stood , [he]_0-i did not touch [me]_233-mary . "_[233-mary] Who is this ? Who is this ? " [he]_0-i demanded , trying , as it seemed , to SEE with those sightless eyes - unavailing and distressing attempt ! "_[233-mary] Answer [me]_0-i - speak again ! " [he]_0-i ordered , imperiously and aloud . "_[233-mary] Will [you]_233-mary have a little more water , [sir]_4374-sir ? [I]_0-i spilt half of what was in the glass , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] WHO is it ? WHAT is it ? Who speaks ? " "_[267-pilot] [Pilot]_267-pilot knows [me]_0-i , and [John]_449-john and [Mary]_233-mary know [I]_0-i am [here]_4312-here . [I]_0-i came only this evening , " [I]_0-i answered . "_[0-i] Great God ! - what delusion has come over [me]_0-i ? What sweet madness has seized [me]_0-i ? " "_{[2916-the speaker]} No delusion - no madness : [your]_233-mary mind , [sir]_4374-sir , is too strong for delusion , [your]_233-mary health too sound for frenzy . " "_{[2916-the speaker]} And where is [the speaker]_{2916-the speaker} ? Is it only a voice ? Oh ! [I]_0-i CANNOT see , but [I]_0-i must feel , or [my]_0-i heart will stop and [my]_0-i brain burst . Whatever - whoever [you]_233-mary are - be perceptible to the touch or [I]_0-i can not live ! " [He]_4374-sir groped ; [I]_4158-her arrested [his]_4374-sir wandering hand , and prisoned it in both mine . "_[4158-her] [Her]_4158-her very fingers ! " [he]_4374-sir cried ; "_[4158-her] [her]_4158-her small , slight fingers ! If so there must be more of [her]_4158-her . " The muscular hand broke from [my]_4158-her custody ; [my]_4158-her arm was seized , [my]_4158-her shoulder - neck - waist - [I]_4158-her was entwined and gathered to [him]_4374-sir . "_[4158-her] Is it [Jane]_146-jane ? WHAT is it ? This is [her]_4158-her shape - this is [her]_4158-her size - " "_[4158-her] And this [her]_4158-her voice , " [I]_4158-her added . "_[4158-her] [She]_4158-her is all here : [her]_4158-her heart , too . God bless [you]_4159-you , [sir]_4374-sir ! [I]_0-i am glad to be so near [you]_4159-you again . " "_[0-i] [Jane Eyre]_146-jane ! - [Jane Eyre]_146-jane , " was all [he]_4374-sir said . "_[146-jane] [[My]_0-i dear master]_{6247-my dear master} , " [I]_146-jane answered , "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i am [Jane Eyre]_146-jane : [I]_0-i have found [you]_{6247-my dear master} out - [I]_0-i am come back to [you]_{6247-my dear master} . " "_[0-i] In truth ? - in the flesh ? [My]_0-i living [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_{[6247-my dear master]} [You]_{6247-my dear master} touch [me]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir , - [you]_{6247-my dear master} hold [me]_0-i , and fast enough : [I]_0-i am not cold like a corpse , nor vacant like air , am [I]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i living darling]_{4163-my living darling} ! These are certainly [her]_146-jane limbs , and these [her]_146-jane features ; but [I]_0-i can not be so blest , after all [my]_0-i misery . It is a dream ; such dreams as [I]_0-i have had at night when [I]_0-i have clasped [her]_146-jane once more to [my]_0-i heart , as [I]_0-i do now ; and kissed [her]_146-jane , as thus - and felt that [she]_146-jane loved [me]_0-i , and trusted that [she]_146-jane would not leave [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Which [I]_0-i never will , [sir]_4374-sir , from this day . " "_[0-i] Never will , says the vision ? But [I]_0-i always woke and found it an empty mockery ; and [I]_0-i was desolate and abandoned - [my]_0-i life dark , lonely , hopeless - [my]_0-i soul athirst and forbidden to drink - [my]_0-i heart famished and never to be fed . Gentle , soft dream , nestling in [my]_0-i arms now , [you]_4165-you will fly , too , as [[your]_4165-you sisters]_{4419-your sisters} have all fled before [you]_4165-you : but kiss [me]_0-i before [you]_4165-you go - embrace [me]_0-i , [Jane]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] There , [sir]_4374-sir - and there ! " ' [I]_146-jane pressed [my]_146-jane lips to [his]_4374-sir once brilliant and now rayless eyes - [I]_146-jane swept [his]_4374-sir hair from [his]_4374-sir brow , and kissed that too . [He]_4374-sir suddenly seemed to arouse [himself]_4374-sir : the conviction of the reality of all this seized [him]_4374-sir . "_[146-jane] It is [you]_146-jane - is it , [Jane]_146-jane ? [You]_146-jane are come back to [me]_0-i then ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am . " "_[0-i] And [you]_146-jane do not lie dead in [some ditch under some stream]_{4168-some ditch under some stream} ? And [you]_146-jane are not [a pining outcast]_{4169-a pining outcast} amongst [strangers]_{1704-strangers} ? " "_[146-jane] No , [sir]_4374-sir ! [I]_0-i am [an independent woman]_{4172-an independent woman} now . " "_{[4172-an independent woman]} Independent ! What do [you]_146-jane mean , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] [[My]_0-i uncle in [Madeira]_245-madeira]_{4173-my uncle in madeira} is dead , and [he]_{4173-my uncle in madeira} left [me]_0-i five thousand pounds . " "_{[4173-my uncle in madeira]} Ah ! this is practical - this is real ! " [he]_0-i cried : "_{[4173-my uncle in madeira]} [I]_0-i should never dream that . Besides , there is that peculiar voice of [hers]_4174-hers , so animating and piquant , as well as soft : it cheers [my]_0-i withered heart ; it puts life into it . - What , [Janet]_265-janet ! Are [you]_265-janet [an independent woman]_{4172-an independent woman} ? [A rich woman]_{4176-a rich woman} ? " "_{[4176-a rich woman]} If [you]_265-janet wo n't let [me]_0-i live with [you]_265-janet , [I]_0-i can build [a house of [my]_0-i own]_{4177-a house of my own} close up to [your]_265-janet door , and [you]_265-janet may come and sit in [[my]_0-i parlour]_{4178-my parlour} when [you]_265-janet want company of an evening . " "_[265-janet] But as [you]_265-janet are rich , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_265-janet have now , no doubt , [friends who will look after [you]_265-janet , and not suffer [you]_265-janet to devote [yourself]_265-janet to [a blind lameter like [me]_0-i]_{4180-a blind lameter like me}]_{4179-friends who will look after you , and not suffer you to devote yourself to a blind lameter like me} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i told [you]_265-janet [I]_0-i am independent , [sir]_4374-sir , as well as rich : [I]_0-i am [[my]_0-i own mistress]_{4182-my own mistress} . " "_[0-i] And [you]_265-janet will stay with [me]_0-i ? " "_[265-janet] Certainly - unless [you]_265-janet object . [I]_0-i will be [[your]_265-janet neighbour]_{4183-your neighbour} , [[your]_265-janet nurse]_{4184-your nurse} , [[your]_265-janet housekeeper]_{4185-your housekeeper} . [I]_0-i find [you]_265-janet lonely : [I]_0-i will be [[your]_265-janet companion]_{4186-your companion} - to read to [you]_265-janet , to walk with [you]_265-janet , to sit with [you]_265-janet , to wait on [you]_265-janet , to be eyes and hands to [you]_265-janet . Cease to look so melancholy , [[my]_0-i dear master]_{6247-my dear master} ; [you]_265-janet shall not be left desolate , so long as [I]_0-i live . " [He]_0-i replied not : [he]_0-i seemed serious - abstracted ; [he]_0-i sighed ; [he]_0-i half - opened [his]_0-i lips as if to speak : [he]_0-i closed them again . [I]_146-jane felt a little embarrassed . Perhaps [I]_146-jane had too rashly over - leaped conventionalities ; and [he]_0-i , like [St. John]_{177-st. john} , saw impropriety in [my]_146-jane inconsiderateness . [I]_146-jane had indeed made [my]_146-jane proposal from the idea that [he]_0-i wished and would ask [me]_146-jane to be [[his]_0-i wife]_{4986-his wife} : an expectation , not the less certain because unexpressed , had buoyed [me]_146-jane up , that [he]_0-i would claim [me]_146-jane at once as [his]_0-i own . But no hint to that effect escaping [him]_0-i and [his]_0-i countenance becoming more overcast , [I]_146-jane suddenly remembered that [I]_146-jane might have been all wrong , and was perhaps playing [the fool]_{7644-the fool} unwittingly ; and [I]_146-jane began gently to withdraw [myself]_146-jane from [his]_0-i arms - but [he]_0-i eagerly snatched [me]_146-jane closer . "_[146-jane] No - no - [Jane]_146-jane ; [you]_146-jane must not go . No - [I]_0-i have touched [you]_146-jane , heard [you]_146-jane , felt the comfort of [your]_146-jane presence - the sweetness of [your]_146-jane consolation : [I]_0-i can not give up these joys . [I]_0-i have little left in [myself]_0-i - [I]_0-i must have [you]_146-jane . [The world]_{484-the world} may laugh - may call [me]_0-i absurd , selfish - but it does not signify . [My]_0-i very soul demands [you]_146-jane : it will be satisfied , or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame . " "_[4374-sir] Well , [sir]_4374-sir , [I]_0-i will stay with [you]_4374-sir : [I]_0-i have said so . " "_[0-i] Yes - but [you]_146-jane understand one thing by staying with [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i understand another . [You]_146-jane , perhaps , could make up [your]_146-jane mind to be about [my]_0-i hand and chair - to wait on [me]_0-i as [a kind little nurse]_{4190-a kind little nurse} for [you]_146-jane have an affectionate heart and a generous spirit , which prompt [you]_146-jane to make sacrifices for those [you]_146-jane pity , and that ought to suffice for [me]_0-i no doubt . [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i should now entertain none but fatherly feelings for [you]_146-jane : do [you]_146-jane think so ? Come - tell [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will think what [you]_4374-sir like , [sir]_4374-sir : [I]_0-i am content to be only [[your]_4374-sir nurse]_{4184-your nurse} , if [you]_4374-sir think it better . " "_[4374-sir] But [you]_146-jane can not always be [[my]_0-i nurse]_{5041-my nurse} , [Janet]_265-janet : [you]_146-jane are young - [you]_146-jane must marry one day . " "_[265-janet] [I]_0-i do n't care about being married . " "_[146-jane] [You]_146-jane should care , [Janet]_265-janet : if [I]_0-i were what [I]_0-i once was , [I]_0-i would try to make [you]_146-jane care - but - a sightless block ! " [He]_4374-sir relapsed again into gloom . [I]_0-i , on the contrary , became more cheerful , and took fresh courage : these last words gave [me]_0-i an insight as to where the difficulty lay ; and as it was no difficulty with [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i felt quite relieved from [my]_0-i previous embarrassment . [I]_0-i resumed a livelier vein of conversation . "_[0-i] It is time [some one]_{637-some one} undertook to rehumanise [you]_146-jane , " said [I]_{637-some one} , parting [his]_4374-sir thick and long uncut locks ; "_{[637-some one]} for [I]_0-i see [you]_146-jane are being metamorphosed into a lion , or something of that sort . [You]_146-jane have a ' faux air ' of [Nebuchadnezzar]_{450-nebuchadnezzar} in [the fields]_{6688-the fields} about [you]_146-jane , that is certain : [your]_146-jane hair reminds [me]_0-i of eagles ' feathers ; whether [your]_146-jane nails are grown like birds ' claws or not , [I]_0-i have not yet noticed . " "_[0-i] On this arm , [I]_0-i have neither hand nor nails , " [he]_4374-sir said , drawing the mutilated limb from [his]_4374-sir breast , and showing it to [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] It is a mere stump - a ghastly sight ! Do n't [you]_146-jane think so , [Jane]_146-jane ? " "_[146-jane] It is a pity to see it ; and a pity to see [your]_146-jane eyes - and the scar of fire on [your]_146-jane forehead : and the worst of it is , one is in danger of loving [you]_146-jane too well for all this ; and making too much of [you]_146-jane . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [you]_146-jane would be revolted , [Jane]_146-jane , when [you]_146-jane saw [my]_0-i arm , and [my]_0-i cicatrised visage . " "_[146-jane] Did [you]_146-jane ? Do n't tell [me]_0-i so - lest [I]_0-i should say something disparaging to [your]_146-jane judgment . Now , let [me]_0-i leave [you]_146-jane an instant , to make a better fire , and have the hearth swept up . Can [you]_146-jane tell when there is a good fire ? " "_[146-jane] Yes ; with the right eye [I]_0-i see a glow - a ruddy haze . " "_[146-jane] And [you]_146-jane see the candles ? " "_[146-jane] Very dimly - each is a luminous cloud . " "_[146-jane] Can [you]_146-jane see [me]_0-i ? " "_[146-jane] No , [[my]_0-i fairy]_{4196-my fairy} : but [I]_0-i am only too thankful to hear and feel [you]_146-jane . " "_[0-i] When do [you]_146-jane take supper ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never take supper . " "_[0-i] But [you]_146-jane shall have some to - night . [I]_0-i am hungry : so are [you]_146-jane , [I]_0-i daresay , only [you]_146-jane forget . " Summoning [Mary]_233-mary , [I]_146-jane soon had [the room]_{535-the room} in more cheerful order : [I]_146-jane prepared [him]_0-i , likewise , a comfortable repast . [My]_146-jane spirits were excited , and with pleasure and ease [I]_146-jane talked to [him]_0-i during supper , and for a long time after . There was no harassing restraint , no repressing of glee and vivacity with [him]_0-i ; for with [him]_0-i [I]_146-jane was at perfect ease , because [I]_146-jane knew [I]_146-jane suited [him]_0-i ; all [I]_146-jane said or did seemed either to console or revive [him]_0-i . Delightful consciousness ! It brought to life and light [my]_146-jane whole nature : in [his]_0-i presence [I]_146-jane thoroughly lived ; and [he]_0-i lived in [mine]_146-jane . Blind as [he]_0-i was , smiles played over [his]_0-i face , joy dawned on [his]_0-i forehead : [his]_0-i lineaments softened and warmed . After supper , [he]_0-i began to ask [me]_146-jane many questions , of where [I]_146-jane had been , what [I]_146-jane had been doing , how [I]_146-jane had found [him]_0-i out ; but [I]_146-jane gave [him]_0-i only very partial replies : it was too late to enter into particulars that night . Besides , [I]_146-jane wished to touch no deep - thrilling chord - to open no fresh well of emotion in [his]_0-i heart : [my]_146-jane sole present aim was to cheer [him]_0-i . Cheered , as [I]_146-jane have said , [he]_0-i was : and yet but by fits . If a moment 's silence broke the conversation , [he]_0-i would turn restless , touch [me]_146-jane , then say , "_[146-jane] [Jane]_146-jane . " "_[146-jane] [You]_146-jane are altogether [a human being]_{2921-a human being} , [Jane]_146-jane ? [You]_146-jane are certain of that ? " "_[146-jane] [I]_0-i conscientiously believe so , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} . " "_{[251-mr. rochester]} Yet how , on this dark and doleful evening , could [you]_146-jane so suddenly rise on [my]_0-i lone hearth ? [I]_0-i stretched [my]_0-i hand to take a glass of water from [a hireling]_{4198-a hireling} , and it was given [me]_0-i by [you]_146-jane : [I]_0-i asked a question , expecting [[John]_{177-st. john} 's wife]_{5435-john 's wife} to answer [me]_0-i , and [your]_146-jane voice spoke at [my]_0-i ear . " "_[146-jane] Because [I]_0-i had come in , in [[Mary]_233-mary 's stead]_{4200-mary 's stead} , with the tray . " "_[0-i] And there is enchantment in the very hour [I]_0-i am now spending with [you]_146-jane . Who can tell what a dark , dreary , hopeless life [I]_0-i have dragged on for months past ? Doing nothing , expecting nothing ; merging night in day ; feeling but the sensation of cold when [I]_0-i let the fire go out , of hunger when [I]_0-i forgot to eat : and then a ceaseless sorrow , and , at times , a very delirium of desire to behold [[my]_0-i Jane]_{6223-my jane} again . Yes : for [her]_{6223-my jane} restoration [I]_0-i longed , far more than for that of [my]_0-i lost sight . How can it be that [Jane]_146-jane is with [me]_0-i , and says [she]_146-jane loves [me]_0-i ? Will [she]_146-jane not depart as suddenly as [she]_146-jane came ? To - morrow , [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i shall find [her]_146-jane no more . " A commonplace , practical reply , out of the train of [his]_0-i own disturbed ideas , was , [I]_146-jane was sure , the best and most reassuring for [him]_0-i in this frame of mind . [I]_146-jane passed [my]_146-jane finger over [his]_0-i eyebrows , and remarked that they were scorched , and that [I]_146-jane would apply something which would make them grow as broad and black as ever . "_[146-jane] Where is the use of doing [me]_0-i good in any way , beneficent spirit , when , at some fatal moment , [you]_4202-you will again desert [me]_0-i - passing like a shadow , whither and how to [me]_0-i unknown , and for [me]_0-i remaining afterwards undiscoverable ? " Have [you]_0-i a pocket - comb about [you]_0-i , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[146-jane] " What for , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[146-jane] " Just to comb out this shaggy black mane . [I]_146-jane find [you]_0-i rather alarming , when [I]_146-jane examine [you]_0-i close at hand : [you]_0-i talk of [my]_146-jane being [a fairy]_{2801-a fairy} , but [I]_146-jane am sure , [you]_0-i are more like [a brownie]_{7648-a brownie} . "_[146-jane] " Am [I]_146-jane hideous , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[146-jane] " Very , [sir]_4374-sir : [you]_0-i always were , [you]_0-i know . "_[146-jane] " [Humph]_276-humph ! The wickedness has not been taken out of [you]_0-i , wherever [you]_0-i have sojourned . "_[146-jane] " Yet [I]_146-jane have been with [good people]_{2239-good people} ; far better than [you]_4374-sir : [a hundred times better people]_{7651-a hundred times better people} ; possessed of ideas and views [you]_4374-sir never entertained in [your]_4374-sir life : quite more refined and exalted . "_[146-jane] " Who [the deuce]_{7652-the deuce} have [you]_0-i been with ? "_[146-jane] " If [you]_4374-sir twist in that way [you]_4374-sir will make [me]_146-jane pull the hair out of [your]_4374-sir head ; and then [I]_146-jane think [you]_4374-sir will cease to entertain doubts of [my]_146-jane substantiality . "_[146-jane] " Who have [you]_0-i been with , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[146-jane] " [You]_4374-sir shall not get it out of [me]_146-jane to - night , [sir]_4374-sir ; [you]_4374-sir must wait till to - morrow ; to leave [my]_146-jane tale half told , will , [you]_4374-sir know , be a sort of security that [I]_146-jane shall appear at [your]_4374-sir breakfast table to finish it . By the bye , [I]_146-jane must mind not to rise on [your]_4374-sir hearth with only a glass of water then : [I]_146-jane must bring an egg at the least , to say nothing of fried ham . "_[146-jane] " [You]_0-i mocking changeling - fairy - born and human - bred ! [You]_0-i make [me]_146-jane feel as [I]_146-jane have not felt these twelve months . If [Saul]_451-saul could have had [you]_0-i for [[his]_451-saul David]_{7654-his david} , the evil spirit would have been exorcised without the aid of the harp . "_[146-jane] " There , [sir]_4374-sir , [you]_0-i are redd up and made decent . Now [I]_146-jane 'll leave [you]_0-i : [I]_146-jane have been travelling these last three days , and [I]_146-jane believe [I]_146-jane am tired . Good night . "_[146-jane] " Just one word , [Jane]_146-jane : were there only ladies in [the house]_{4322-the house} where [you]_0-i have been ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i laughed and made [my]_0-i escape , still laughing as [I]_0-i ran [upstairs]_552-upstairs . " A good idea ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought with glee . " [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i have the means of fretting [him]_4204-him out of [his]_4204-him melancholy for some time to come . "_[0-i] Very early the next morning [I]_0-i heard [him]_4204-him up and astir , wandering from [one room]_{4205-one room} to another . As soon as [Mary]_233-mary came down [I]_0-i heard the question : " Is [Miss Eyre]_146-jane [here]_4312-here ? "_[233-mary] Then : " [Which room]_{7658-which room} did [you]_4204-him put [her]_146-jane into ? Was it dry ? Is [she]_146-jane up ? Go and ask if [she]_146-jane wants anything ; and when [she]_146-jane will come down . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i came down as soon as [I]_0-i thought there was a prospect of breakfast . Entering [the room]_{535-the room} very softly , [I]_0-i had a view of [him]_4204-him before [he]_4204-him discovered [my]_0-i presence . It was mournful , indeed , to witness the subjugation of that vigorous spirit to a corporeal infirmity . [He]_4204-him sat in [his]_4204-him chair - still , but not at rest : expectant evidently ; the lines of now habitual sadness marking [his]_4204-him strong features . [His]_4204-him countenance reminded one of a lamp quenched , waiting to be re - lit - and alas ! it was not [himself]_4204-him that could now kindle the lustre of animated expression : [he]_4204-him was dependent on another for [that office]_{7104-that office} ! [I]_0-i had meant to be gay and careless , but the powerlessness of [the strong man]_{4208-the strong man} touched [my]_0-i heart to the quick : still [I]_0-i accosted [him]_4204-him with what vivacity [I]_0-i could . " It is a bright , sunny morning , [sir]_4374-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " The rain is over and gone , and there is a tender shining after it : [you]_4374-sir shall have a walk soon . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had wakened the glow : [his]_4204-him features beamed . " Oh , [you]_4374-sir are indeed there , [[my]_4204-him skylark]_{7660-my skylark} ! Come to [me]_4204-him . [You]_4374-sir are not gone : not vanished ? [I]_4204-him heard [one of [your]_4374-sir kind]_{7661-one of your kind} an hour ago , singing high over the wood : but its song had no music for [me]_4204-him , any more than the rising sun had rays . All the melody on earth is concentrated in [my]_4204-him [Jane]_146-jane 's tongue to [my]_4204-him ear [I]_4204-him am glad it is not naturally a silent one : all the sunshine [I]_4204-him can feel is in [her]_146-jane presence . "_[4204-him] The water stood in [my]_0-i eyes to hear this avowal of [his]_4204-him dependence ; just as if a royal eagle , chained to a perch , should be forced to entreat a sparrow to become its purveyor . But [I]_0-i would not be lachrymose : [I]_0-i dashed off the salt drops , and busied [myself]_0-i with preparing breakfast . Most of the morning was spent in the open air . [I]_0-i led [him]_4204-him out of [the wet and wild wood]_{4209-the wet and wild wood} into [some cheerful fields]_{4210-some cheerful fields} : [I]_0-i described to [him]_4204-him how brilliantly green they were ; how the flowers and hedges looked refreshed ; how sparklingly blue was the sky . [I]_0-i sought a seat for [him]_4204-him in a hidden and lovely spot , a dry stump of a tree ; nor did [I]_0-i refuse to let [him]_4204-him , when seated , place [me]_0-i on [his]_4204-him knee . Why should [I]_0-i , when both [he]_4204-him and [I]_0-i were happier near than apart ? [Pilot]_267-pilot lay beside [us]_4211-us : all was quiet . [He]_4204-him broke out suddenly while clasping [me]_0-i in [his]_4204-him arms - " [Cruel , cruel deserter]_{7662-cruel , cruel deserter} ! Oh , [Jane]_146-jane , what did [I]_4204-him feel when [I]_4204-him discovered [you]_146-jane had fled from [Thornfield]_{43-thornfield} , and when [I]_4204-him could nowhere find [you]_146-jane ; and , after examining [[your]_146-jane apartment]_{7663-your apartment} , ascertained that [you]_146-jane had taken no money , nor anything which could serve as an equivalent ! A pearl necklace [I]_4204-him had given [you]_146-jane lay untouched in its little casket ; [your]_146-jane trunks were left corded and locked as they had been prepared for the bridal tour . What could [[my]_4204-him darling]_{6201-my darling} do , [I]_4204-him asked , left destitute and penniless ? And what did [she]_{6201-my darling} do ? Let [me]_4204-him hear now . "_[4204-him] Thus urged , [I]_0-i began the narrative of [my]_0-i experience for the last year . [I]_0-i softened considerably what related to the three days of wandering and starvation , because to have told [him]_4212-him all would have been to inflict unnecessary pain : the little [I]_0-i did say lacerated [his]_4212-him faithful heart deeper than [I]_0-i wished . [I]_0-i should not have left [him]_4212-him thus , [he]_4212-him said , without any means of making [my]_0-i way : [I]_0-i should have told [him]_4212-him [my]_0-i intention . [I]_0-i should have confided in [him]_4212-him : [he]_4212-him would never have forced [me]_0-i to be [[his]_4212-him mistress]_{3030-his mistress} . Violent as [he]_4212-him had seemed in [his]_4212-him despair , [he]_4212-him , in truth , loved [me]_0-i far too well and too tenderly to constitute [himself]_4212-him [[my]_0-i tyrant]_{4214-my tyrant} : [he]_4212-him would have given [me]_0-i half [his]_4212-him fortune , without demanding so much as a kiss in return , rather than [I]_0-i should have flung [myself]_0-i friendless on [the wide world]_{3334-the wide world} . [I]_0-i had endured , [he]_4212-him was certain , more than [I]_0-i had confessed to [him]_4212-him . " Well , whatever [my]_0-i sufferings had been , they were very short , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i answered : and then [I]_0-i proceeded to tell [him]_4212-him how [I]_0-i had been received at [Moor House]_{104-moor house} ; how [I]_0-i had obtained the office of [schoolmistress]_{7116-schoolmistress} , c. The accession of fortune , the discovery of [my]_0-i relations , followed in due order . Of course , [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} ' name came in frequently in the progress of [my]_0-i tale . When [I]_0-i had done , that name was immediately taken up . " [This St. John]_{452-st. john} , then , is [[your]_4212-him cousin]_{7665-your cousin} ? "_{[177-st. john]} " Yes . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [You]_4212-him have spoken of [him]_{452-st. john} often : do [you]_4212-him like [him]_{452-st. john} ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [He]_{452-st. john} was [a very good man]_{7666-a very good man} , [sir]_4374-sir ; [I]_{177-st. john} could not help liking [him]_{452-st. john} . "_{[177-st. john]} " [A good man]_{4605-a good man} . Does that mean [a respectable well - conducted man of fifty]_{7669-a respectable well - conducted man of fifty} ? Or what does it mean ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [St John]_{413-mr. st john} was only twenty - nine , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " ' [Jeune encore]_{453-jeune encore} , ' as [the French]_310-french say . Is [he]_{413-mr. st john} [a person of low stature , phlegmatic , and plain]_{7671-a person of low stature , phlegmatic , and plain} . [A person whose goodness consists rather in [his]_{413-mr. st john} guiltlessness of vice , than in [his]_{413-mr. st john} prowess in virtue]_{7672-a person whose goodness consists rather in his guiltlessness of vice , than in his prowess in virtue} . "_{[177-st. john]} " [He]_{413-mr. st john} is untiringly active . Great and exalted deeds are what [he]_{413-mr. st john} lives to perform . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " But [his]_{413-mr. st john} brain ? That is probably rather soft ? [He]_{413-mr. st john} means well : but [you]_4374-sir shrug [your]_4374-sir shoulders to hear [him]_{413-mr. st john} talk ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [He]_{413-mr. st john} talks little , [sir]_4374-sir : what [he]_{413-mr. st john} does say is ever to the point . [His]_{413-mr. st john} brain is first - rate , [I]_{177-st. john} should think not impressible , but vigorous . "_{[177-st. john]} " Is [he]_{413-mr. st john} [an able man]_{7674-an able man} , then ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " Truly able . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [A thoroughly educated man]_{7675-a thoroughly educated man} ? "_{[177-st. john]} " [St. John]_{452-st. john} is [an accomplished and profound scholar]_{7676-an accomplished and profound scholar} . "_{[177-st. john]} " [His]_{413-mr. st john} manners , [I]_{7116-schoolmistress} think , [you]_4374-sir said are not to [your]_4374-sir taste ? - priggish and parsonic ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [I]_{7116-schoolmistress} never mentioned [his]_{413-mr. st john} manners ; but , unless [I]_{7116-schoolmistress} had a very bad taste , [they]_7677-they must suit it ; they are polished , calm , and gentlemanlike . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " [His]_{413-mr. st john} appearance , - [I]_{177-st. john} forget what description [you]_4374-sir gave of [his]_{413-mr. st john} appearance ; - a sort of raw curate , half strangled with [his]_{413-mr. st john} white neckcloth , and stilted up on [his]_{413-mr. st john} thick - soled high - lows , eh ? "_{[177-st. john]} " [St. John]_{452-st. john} dresses well . [He]_{452-st. john} is [a handsome man]_{6109-a handsome man} : tall , fair , with blue eyes , and a Grecian profile . "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} Aside . " Damn [him]_{452-st. john} ! "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} - To [me]_0-i . " Did [you]_4374-sir like [him]_{452-st. john} , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_{[7116-schoolmistress]} " Yes , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_0-i liked [him]_{452-st. john} : but [you]_{251-mr. rochester} asked [me]_0-i that before . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i perceived , of course , the drift of [[my]_0-i interlocutor]_{1762-my interlocutor} . Jealousy had got hold of [him]_4218-him : [she]_{1762-my interlocutor} stung [him]_4218-him ; but the sting was salutary : it gave [him]_4218-him respite from the gnawing fang of melancholy . [I]_0-i would not , therefore , immediately charm the snake . " Perhaps [you]_{251-mr. rochester} would rather not sit any longer on [my]_{1762-my interlocutor} knee , [Miss Eyre]_146-jane ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} was the next somewhat unexpected observation . " Why not , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " The picture [you]_{251-mr. rochester} have just drawn is suggestive of a rather too overwhelming contrast . [Your]_{251-mr. rochester} words have delineated very prettily a graceful [Apollo]_454-apollo : [he]_454-apollo is present to [your]_{251-mr. rochester} imagination , - tall , fair , blue - eyed , and with a Grecian profile . [Your]_{251-mr. rochester} eyes dwell on [a Vulcan]_{7679-a vulcan} , - [a real blacksmith , brown , broad - shouldered]_{7680-a real blacksmith , brown , broad - shouldered} : and blind and lame into the bargain . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} never thought of it , before ; but [you]_{251-mr. rochester} certainly are rather like [Vulcan]_455-vulcan , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Well , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} can leave [me]_4219-me , [ma'am]_4353-ma'am : but before [you]_{251-mr. rochester} go "_[4219-me] and [he]_4219-me retained [me]_0-i by a firmer grasp than ever , " [you]_{251-mr. rochester} will be pleased just to answer [me]_4219-me a question or two . "_[4219-me] [He]_4219-me paused . " What questions , [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_[4219-me] Then followed this cross - examination . " [St. John]_{452-st. john} made [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [schoolmistress of [Morton]_105-morton]_{7683-schoolmistress of morton} before [he]_{452-st. john} knew [you]_{251-mr. rochester} were [[his]_{452-st. john} cousin]_{7684-his cousin} ? "_[4219-me] " Yes . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} would often see [him]_{452-st. john} ? [He]_{452-st. john} would visit [the school]_{4461-the school} sometimes ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Daily . "_[4219-me] " [He]_{452-st. john} would approve of [your]_{251-mr. rochester} plans , [Jane]_146-jane ? [I]_4219-me know [they]_7686-they would be clever , for [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are [a talented creature]_{7687-a talented creature} ! "_[4219-me] " [He]_{452-st. john} approved of them - yes . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{452-st. john} would discover many things in [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [he]_{452-st. john} could not have expected to find ? Some of [your]_{251-mr. rochester} accomplishments are not ordinary . "_[4219-me] " [I]_4219-me do n't know about that . "_[4219-me] " [You]_{251-mr. rochester} had [a little cottage near [the school]_{4461-the school}]_{7688-a little cottage near the school} , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} say : did [he]_{452-st. john} ever come [there]_4426-there to see [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Now and then ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Of an evening ? "_[4219-me] " Once or twice . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} A pause . " How long did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} reside with [him]_{452-st. john} and [[his]_{452-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} after [the cousinship]_{7692-the cousinship} was discovered ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Five months . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Did [Rivers]_{177-st. john} spend much time with [the ladies of [[his]_{452-st. john} family]_{1092-his family}]_{7693-the ladies of his family} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Yes ; [the back parlour]_{7695-the back parlour} was both [[his]_{452-st. john} study]_{7696-his study} and [ours]_7697-ours : [he]_{452-st. john} sat near the window , and [we]_7697-ours by the table . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Did [he]_{452-st. john} study much ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " A good deal . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " What ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " And what did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} do meantime ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} learnt German , at first . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Did [he]_{452-st. john} teach [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{452-st. john} did not understand German . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Did [he]_{452-st. john} teach [you]_{251-mr. rochester} nothing ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " A little [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [Rivers]_{177-st. john} taught [you]_{251-mr. rochester} [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " And [[his]_{452-st. john} sisters]_{4311-his sisters} also ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " No . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Only [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Only [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Did [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ask to learn ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " No . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{452-st. john} wished to teach [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Yes . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} A second pause . " Why did [he]_{452-st. john} wish it ? Of what use could [Hindostanee]_{441-hindostanee} be to [you]_{251-mr. rochester} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{452-st. john} intended [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} to go with [him]_{452-st. john} to [India]_63-india . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Ah ! here [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} reach the root of the matter . [He]_{452-st. john} wanted [you]_{251-mr. rochester} to marry [him]_{452-st. john} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{452-st. john} asked [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} to marry [him]_{452-st. john} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " That is a fiction - an impudent invention to vex [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} beg [your]_{251-mr. rochester} pardon , it is the literal truth : [he]_{452-st. john} asked [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} more than once , and was as stiff about urging [his]_{452-st. john} point as ever [you]_{251-mr. rochester} could be . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [Miss Eyre]_146-jane , [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} repeat it , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} can leave [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} . How often am [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} to say the same thing ? Why do [you]_{251-mr. rochester} remain pertinaciously perched on [my]_{1762-my interlocutor} knee , when [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} have given [you]_{251-mr. rochester} notice to quit ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Because [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} am comfortable there . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " No , [Jane]_146-jane , [you]_{251-mr. rochester} are not comfortable [there]_4426-there , because [your]_{251-mr. rochester} heart is not with [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} : it is with [this cousin]_{7701-this cousin} - [this St. John]_{177-st. john} . Oh , till this moment , [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} thought [my]_{1762-my interlocutor} little [Jane]_146-jane was all mine ! [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} had a belief [she]_146-jane loved [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} even when [she]_146-jane left [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} : that was an atom of sweet in much bitter . Long as [we]_7702-we have been parted , hot tears as [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} have wept over [our]_7702-we separation , [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} never thought that while [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} was mourning [her]_146-jane , [she]_146-jane was loving another ! But it is useless grieving . [Jane]_146-jane , leave [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} : go and marry [Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Shake [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} off , then , [sir]_4374-sir , - push [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} away , for [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} 'll not leave [you]_4374-sir of [my]_{1762-my interlocutor} own accord . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} ever like [your]_146-jane tone of voice : it still renews hope , it sounds so truthful . When [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} hear it , it carries [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} back a year . [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} forget that [you]_146-jane have formed a new tie . But [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} am not [a fool]_{1546-a fool} - go - "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Where must [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} go , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [Your]_146-jane own way - with [the husband [you]_146-jane have chosen]_{7706-the husband you have chosen} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " Who is that ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [You]_146-jane know - this St. [John Rivers]_{177-st. john} . "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} " [He]_{177-st. john} is not [[my]_{1762-my interlocutor} husband]_{5014-my husband} , nor ever will be . [He]_{177-st. john} does not love [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} : [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} do not love [him]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} loves as [he]_{177-st. john} CAN love , and that is not as [you]_146-jane love [a beautiful young lady called [Rosamond]_425-rosamond]_{7708-a beautiful young lady called rosamond} . [He]_{177-st. john} wanted to marry [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} only because [he]_{177-st. john} thought [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} should make [[a suitable missionary]_{7709-a suitable missionary} 's wife]_{7710-a suitable missionary 's wife} , which [she]_{7708-a beautiful young lady called rosamond} would not have done . [He]_{177-st. john} is good and great , but severe ; and , for [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} , cold as an iceberg . [He]_{177-st. john} is not like [you]_146-jane , [sir]_4374-sir : [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} am not happy at [his]_{177-st. john} side , nor near [him]_{177-st. john} , nor with [him]_{177-st. john} . [He]_{177-st. john} has no indulgence for [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} - no fondness . [He]_{177-st. john} sees nothing attractive in [me]_{1762-my interlocutor} ; not even youth - only a few useful mental points . - Then [I]_{1762-my interlocutor} must leave [you]_{4220-my blind but beloved master} , [sir]_4374-sir , to go to [him]_{177-st. john} ? "_{[1762-my interlocutor]} [I]_0-i shuddered involuntarily , and clung instinctively closer to [[my]_0-i blind but beloved master]_{4220-my blind but beloved master} . [He]_{4220-my blind but beloved master} smiled . " What , [Jane]_146-jane ! Is this true ? Is such really the state of matters between [you]_146-jane and [Rivers]_{177-st. john} ? "_{[4220-my blind but beloved master]} " Absolutely , [sir]_4374-sir ! Oh , [you]_4374-sir need not be jealous ! [I]_4221-i wanted to tease [you]_4374-sir a little to make [you]_4374-sir less sad : [I]_4221-i thought anger would be better than grief . But if [you]_4374-sir wish [me]_4221-i to love [you]_4374-sir , could [you]_4374-sir but see how much [I]_4221-i DO love [you]_4374-sir , [you]_4374-sir would be proud and content . All [my]_4221-i heart is [yours]_4374-sir , [sir]_4374-sir : it belongs to [you]_4374-sir ; and with [you]_4374-sir it would remain , were fate to exile the rest of [me]_4221-i from [your]_4374-sir presence for ever . "_[4221-i] Again , as [he]_4221-i kissed [me]_0-i , painful thoughts darkened [his]_4221-i aspect . " [My]_4221-i scarred vision ! [My]_4221-i crippled strength ! "_[4221-i] [he]_4221-i murmured regretfully . [I]_0-i caressed , in order to soothe [him]_4221-i . [I]_0-i knew of what [he]_4221-i was thinking , and wanted to speak for [him]_4221-i , but dared not . As [he]_4221-i turned aside [his]_4221-i face a minute , [I]_0-i saw a tear slide from under the sealed eyelid , and trickle down the manly cheek . [My]_0-i heart swelled . " [I]_4221-i am no better than the old lightning - struck chestnut - tree in [Thornfield orchard]_{7715-thornfield orchard} , "_[4221-i] [he]_4221-i remarked ere long . " And what right would that ruin have to bid [a budding woodbine]_{7716-a budding woodbine} cover its decay with freshness ? "_[4221-i] " [You]_0-i are no ruin , [sir]_4374-sir - no lightning - struck tree : [you]_0-i are green and vigorous . Plants will grow about [your]_0-i roots , whether [you]_0-i ask them or not , because they take delight in [your]_0-i bountiful shadow ; and as they grow they will lean towards [you]_0-i , and wind round [you]_0-i , because [your]_0-i strength offers [them]_7718-them so safe a prop . "_[4221-i] Again [he]_4221-i smiled : [I]_0-i gave [him]_4221-i comfort . " [You]_0-i speak of [friends]_1114-friends , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[4221-i] [he]_4221-i asked . " Yes , of [friends]_1114-friends , "_[4221-i] [I]_0-i answered rather hesitatingly : for [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i meant more than [friends]_1114-friends , but could not tell what other word to employ . [He]_4221-i helped [me]_0-i . " Ah ! [Jane]_146-jane . But [I]_4221-i want [a wife]_{5665-a wife} . "_[4221-i] " Do [you]_4221-i , [sir]_4374-sir ? "_[4221-i] " Yes : is it news to [you]_4221-i ? "_[4221-i] " Of course : [you]_4221-i said nothing about it before . "_[4221-i] " Is it unwelcome news ? "_[4221-i] " That depends on circumstances , [sir]_4374-sir - on [your]_4221-i choice . "_[4221-i] " Which [you]_4221-i shall make for [me]_4221-i , [Jane]_146-jane . [I]_4221-i will abide by [your]_4221-i decision . "_[4221-i] " Choose then , [sir]_4374-sir - [HER]_{5665-a wife} WHO LOVES [YOU]_4221-i BEST . "_[4221-i] " [I]_4221-i will at least choose - [HER]_{5665-a wife} [I]_4221-i LOVE BEST . [Jane]_146-jane , will [you]_4221-i marry [me]_4221-i ? "_[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[4221-i] " [A poor blind man]_{7726-a poor blind man} , whom [you]_4221-i will have to lead about by the hand ? "_[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[4221-i] " [A crippled man]_{7728-a crippled man} , twenty years older than [you]_4221-i , whom [you]_4221-i will have to wait on ? "_[4221-i] " Yes , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[4221-i] " Truly , [Jane]_146-jane ? "_[4221-i] " Most truly , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[4221-i] " Oh ! [[my]_4221-i darling]_{6201-my darling} ! [God]_448-god bless [you]_146-jane and reward [you]_146-jane ! "_[4221-i] " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , if ever [I]_4221-i did a good deed in [my]_4221-i life - if ever [I]_4221-i thought a good thought - if ever [I]_4221-i prayed a sincere and blameless prayer - if ever [I]_4221-i wished a righteous wish , - [I]_4221-i am rewarded now . To be [[your]_{251-mr. rochester} wife]_{6190-your wife} is , for [me]_4221-i , to be as happy as [I]_4221-i can be on [earth]_478-earth . "_[4221-i] " Because [you]_{251-mr. rochester} delight in sacrifice . "_[4221-i] " Sacrifice ! What do [I]_4221-i sacrifice ? Famine for food , expectation for content . To be privileged to put [my]_4221-i arms round what [I]_4221-i value - to press [my]_4221-i lips to what [I]_4221-i love - to repose on what [I]_4221-i trust : is that to make a sacrifice ? If so , then certainly [I]_4221-i delight in sacrifice . "_[4221-i] " And to bear with [my]_4221-i infirmities , [Jane]_146-jane : to overlook [my]_4221-i deficiencies . "_[4221-i] " Which are none , [sir]_4374-sir , to [me]_4221-i . [I]_4221-i love [you]_146-jane better now , when [I]_4221-i can really be useful to [you]_146-jane , than [I]_4221-i did in [your]_146-jane state of proud independence , when [you]_146-jane disdained every part but that of [the giver]_{7735-the giver} and [protector]_{7736-protector} . "_[4221-i] " Hitherto [I]_4221-i have hated to be helped - to be led : henceforth , [I]_4221-i feel [I]_4221-i shall hate it no more . [I]_4221-i did not like to put [my]_4221-i hand into [a hireling]_{4198-a hireling} 's , but it is pleasant to feel it circled by [Jane]_146-jane 's little fingers . [I]_4221-i preferred utter loneliness to the constant attendance of [servants]_{4989-servants} ; but [Jane]_146-jane 's soft ministry will be a perpetual joy . [Jane]_146-jane suits [me]_4221-i : do [I]_4221-i suit [her]_146-jane ? "_[4221-i] " To the finest fibre of [my]_4221-i nature , [sir]_4374-sir . "_[4221-i] " The case being so , [we]_7740-we have nothing in [the world]_{484-the world} to wait for : [we]_7740-we must be married instantly . "_[4221-i] [He]_4223-he looked and spoke with eagerness : [his]_4223-he old impetuosity was rising . " [We]_7740-we must become [one flesh]_{7742-one flesh} without any delay , [Jane]_146-jane : there is but the licence to get - then [we]_7740-we marry . "_[4223-he] " [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , [I]_4221-i have just discovered the sun is far declined from its meridian , and [Pilot]_267-pilot is actually gone [home]_509-home to [his]_267-pilot dinner . Let [me]_4221-i look at [your]_4223-he watch . "_[4221-i] " Fasten it into [your]_146-jane girdle , [Janet]_265-janet , and keep it henceforward : [I]_4221-i have no use for it . "_[4221-i] " It is nearly four o'clock in the afternoon , [sir]_4374-sir . Do n't [you]_4223-he feel hungry ? "_[4221-i] " The third day from this must be [our]_7740-we wedding - day , [Jane]_146-jane . Never mind fine clothes and jewels , now : all that is not worth a fillip . "_[4221-i] " The sun has dried up all the rain - drops , [sir]_4374-sir . The breeze is still : it is quite hot . "_[4221-i] " Do [you]_146-jane know , [Jane]_146-jane , [I]_4221-i have [your]_146-jane little pearl necklace at this moment fastened round [my]_4221-i bronze scrag under [my]_4221-i cravat ? [I]_4221-i have worn it since the day [I]_4221-i lost [my]_4221-i only treasure , as a memento of [her]_146-jane . "_[4221-i] " [We]_7740-we will go [home]_509-home through [the wood]_{1204-the wood} : that will be the shadiest way . "_[4221-i] [He]_4224-he pursued [his]_4224-he own thoughts without heeding [me]_0-i . " [Jane]_146-jane ! [you]_146-jane think [me]_4221-i , [I]_4221-i daresay , [an irreligious dog]_{7748-an irreligious dog} : but [my]_4221-i heart swells with gratitude to [the beneficent God of [this earth]_{4780-this earth}]_{7749-the beneficent god of this earth} just now . [He]_{7749-the beneficent god of this earth} sees not as [man]_4667-man sees , but far clearer : judges not as [man]_4667-man judges , but far more wisely . [I]_4221-i did wrong : [I]_4221-i would have sullied [my]_4221-i innocent flower - breathed guilt on its purity : [the Omnipotent]_{7753-the omnipotent} snatched it from [me]_4221-i . [I]_4221-i , in [my]_4221-i stiff - necked rebellion , almost cursed the dispensation : instead of bending to the decree , [I]_4221-i defied it . Divine justice pursued its course ; disasters came thick on [me]_4221-i : [I]_4221-i was forced to pass through [the valley of the shadow of death]_{7754-the valley of the shadow of death} . [HIS]_{7749-the beneficent god of this earth} chastisements are mighty ; and one smote [me]_4221-i which has humbled [me]_4221-i for ever . [You]_7755-you know [I]_4221-i was proud of [my]_4221-i strength : but what is it now , when [I]_4221-i must give it over to foreign guidance , as [a child]_{4305-a child} does its weakness ? Of late , [Jane]_146-jane - only - only of late - [I]_4221-i began to see and acknowledge the hand of [God]_448-god in [my]_4221-i doom . [I]_4221-i began to experience remorse , repentance ; the wish for reconcilement to [[my]_4221-i Maker]_{6198-my maker} . [I]_4221-i began sometimes to pray : very brief prayers they were , but very sincere . "_[4221-i] Some days since : nay , [I]_0-i can number them - four ; it was last Monday night , a singular mood came over [me]_0-i : one in which grief replaced frenzy - sorrow , sullenness . [I]_0-i had long had the impression that since [I]_0-i could nowhere find [you]_4225-you , [you]_4225-you must be dead . Late that night - perhaps it might be between eleven and twelve o'clock - ere [I]_0-i retired to [my]_0-i dreary rest , [I]_0-i supplicated [God]_448-god , that , if it seemed good to [Him]_448-god , [I]_0-i might soon be taken from this life , and admitted to [that world]_{4783-that world} to come , where there was still hope of rejoining [Jane]_146-jane . " [I]_0-i was in [[my]_0-i own room]_{4855-my own room} , and sitting by the window , which was open : it soothed [me]_0-i to feel the balmy night - air ; though [I]_0-i could see no stars and only by a vague , luminous haze , knew the presence of a moon . [I]_0-i longed for [thee]_4225-you , [Janet]_265-janet ! Oh , [I]_0-i longed for [thee]_4225-you both with soul and flesh ! [I]_0-i asked of [God]_448-god , at once in anguish and humility , if [I]_0-i had not been long enough desolate , afflicted , tormented ; and might not soon taste bliss and peace once more . That [I]_0-i merited all [I]_0-i endured , [I]_0-i acknowledged - that [I]_0-i could scarcely endure more , [I]_0-i pleaded ; and the alpha and omega of [my]_0-i heart 's wishes broke involuntarily from [my]_0-i lips in the words - ' [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! ' "_[0-i] " Did [you]_0-i speak these words aloud ? "_[146-jane] " [I]_0-i did , [Jane]_146-jane . If [any listener]_{7759-any listener} had heard [me]_0-i , [he]_{7759-any listener} would have thought [me]_0-i mad : [I]_0-i pronounced them with such frantic energy . "_[0-i] " And it was last Monday night , somewhere near midnight ? "_[0-i] " Yes ; but the time is of no consequence : what followed is the strange point . [You]_7760-you will think [me]_0-i superstitious , - some superstition [I]_0-i have in [my]_0-i blood , and always had : nevertheless , this is true - true at least it is that [I]_0-i heard what [I]_0-i now relate . "_[0-i] As [I]_0-i exclaimed ' [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! [Jane]_146-jane ! ' a voice - [I]_0-i can not tell whence the voice came , but [I]_0-i know whose voice it was - replied , ' [I]_0-i am coming : wait for [me]_0-i ; ' and a moment after , went whispering on the wind the words - ' Where are [you]_146-jane ? ' " [I]_387-reader 'll tell [you]_7760-you , if [I]_387-reader can , the idea , the picture these words opened to [my]_387-reader mind : yet it is difficult to express what [I]_387-reader want to express . [Ferndean]_145-ferndean is buried , as [you]_7760-you see , in a heavy wood , where sound falls dull , and dies unreverberating . ' Where are [you]_146-jane ? ' seemed spoken amongst [mountains]_{7761-mountains} ; for [I]_387-reader heard a hill - sent echo repeat the words . Cooler and fresher at the moment the gale seemed to visit [my]_387-reader brow : [I]_387-reader could have deemed that in some wild , lone scene , [I]_387-reader and [Jane]_146-jane were meeting . In spirit , [I]_387-reader believe [we]_7762-we must have met . [You]_7760-you no doubt were , at that hour , in unconscious sleep , [Jane]_146-jane : perhaps [your]_7760-you soul wandered from its cell to comfort [mine]_0-i ; for those were [your]_7760-you accents - as certain as [I]_387-reader live - they were yours ! "_[387-reader] [Reader]_387-reader , it was on Monday night - near midnight - that [I]_0-i too had received the mysterious summons : those were the very words by which [I]_0-i replied to it . [I]_0-i listened to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's narrative , but made no disclosure in return . The coincidence struck [me]_0-i as too awful and inexplicable to be communicated or discussed . If [I]_0-i told anything , [my]_0-i tale would be such as must necessarily make a profound impression on the mind of [[my]_0-i hearer]_{4227-my hearer} : and that mind , yet from [its]_4228-its sufferings too prone to gloom , needed not the deeper shade of the supernatural . [I]_0-i kept these things then , and pondered them in [my]_0-i heart . " [You]_7760-you can not now wonder , "_{[4336-my master]} continued [[my]_0-i master]_{4336-my master} , " that when [you]_7760-you rose upon [me]_{4336-my master} so unexpectedly last night , [I]_{4336-my master} had difficulty in believing [you]_7760-you any other than a mere voice and vision , something that would melt to silence and annihilation , as the midnight whisper and mountain echo had melted before . Now , [I]_{4336-my master} thank [God]_448-god ! [I]_{4336-my master} know it to be otherwise . Yes , [I]_{4336-my master} thank [God]_448-god ! "_{[4336-my master]} [He]_{4336-my master} put [me]_0-i off [his]_{4336-my master} knee , rose , and reverently lifting [his]_{4336-my master} hat from [his]_{4336-my master} brow , and bending [his]_{4336-my master} sightless eyes to the earth , [he]_{4336-my master} stood in mute devotion . Only the last words of the worship were audible . " [I]_{4336-my master} thank [[my]_{4336-my master} Maker]_{6198-my maker} , that , in the midst of judgment , [he]_{6198-my maker} has remembered mercy . [I]_{4336-my master} humbly entreat [[my]_{4336-my master} Redeemer]_{7764-my redeemer} to give [me]_{4336-my master} strength to lead henceforth a purer life than [I]_{4336-my master} have done hitherto ! "_{[4336-my master]} Then [he]_{4336-my master} stretched [his]_{4336-my master} hand out to be led . [I]_0-i took that dear hand , held it a moment to [my]_0-i lips , then let it pass round [my]_0-i shoulder : being so much lower of stature than [he]_{4336-my master} , [I]_0-i served both for [his]_{4336-my master} prop and guide . [We]_4230-we entered [the wood]_{1204-the wood} , and wended homeward . CHAPTER XXXVIII - [CONCLUSION Reader]_387-reader , [I]_0-i married [him]_{4336-my master} . A quiet wedding [we]_4230-we had : [he]_{4336-my master} and [I]_0-i , [the parson]_{4232-the parson} and [clerk]_4953-clerk , were alone present . When [we]_4230-we got back from [church]_949-church , [I]_0-i went into [the kitchen of [the manor - house]_{7614-the manor - house}]_{4235-the kitchen of the manor - house} , where [Mary]_233-mary was cooking the dinner and [John]_{177-st. john} cleaning the knives , and [I]_0-i said - " [Mary]_233-mary , [I]_0-i have been married to [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} this morning . "_[0-i] [The housekeeper]_{762-the housekeeper} and [[her]_{762-the housekeeper} husband]_{620-her husband} were [both of that decent phlegmatic order of people]_{4239-both of that decent phlegmatic order of people} , to whom one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece of news without incurring the danger of having [one]_4415-one 's ears pierced by some shrill ejaculation , and subsequently stunned by a torrent of wordy wonderment . [Mary]_233-mary did look up , and [she]_233-mary did stare at [me]_0-i : the ladle with which [she]_233-mary was basting a pair of chickens roasting at the fire , did for some three minutes hang suspended in air ; and for the same space of time [John]_{177-st. john} 's knives also had rest from the polishing process : but [Mary]_233-mary , bending again over the roast , said only - " Have [you]_{177-st. john} , [Miss]_7765-miss ? Well , for sure ! "_[233-mary] A short time after [she]_233-mary pursued - " [I]_233-mary seed [you]_{177-st. john} go out with [the master]_{540-the master} , but [I]_233-mary did n't know [you]_{177-st. john} were gone to [church]_949-church to be [we]_7768-we d ; "_[233-mary] and [she]_233-mary basted away . [John]_{177-st. john} , when [I]_0-i turned to [him]_{177-st. john} , was grinning from ear to ear . " [I]_{177-st. john} telled [Mary]_233-mary how it would be , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} said : " [I]_{177-st. john} knew what [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} "_{[177-st. john]} [John]_{177-st. john} was [an old servant]_{4241-an old servant} , and had known [[his]_{177-st. john} master]_{701-his master} when [he]_{701-his master} was [the cadet of [the house]_{4322-the house}]_{4243-the cadet of the house} , therefore , [he]_{177-st. john} often gave [him]_{701-his master} [his]_{177-st. john} Christian name - " [I]_{177-st. john} knew what [Mr. Edward]_{273-mr. edward} would do ; and [I]_{177-st. john} was certain [he]_{273-mr. edward} would not wait long neither : and [he]_{273-mr. edward} 's done right , for aught [I]_{177-st. john} know . [I]_{177-st. john} wish [you]_0-i joy , [Miss]_7769-miss ! "_{[177-st. john]} and [he]_{177-st. john} politely pulled [his]_{177-st. john} forelock . " Thank [you]_0-i , [John]_{177-st. john} . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} told [me]_{177-st. john} to give [you]_{177-st. john} and [Mary]_233-mary this . "_{[177-st. john]} [I]_0-i put into [his]_{177-st. john} hand a five - pound note . Without waiting to hear more , [I]_0-i left [the kitchen]_{658-the kitchen} . In passing the door of [that sanctum]_{4246-that sanctum} some time after , [I]_0-i caught the words - " [She]_233-mary 'll happen do better for [him]_{177-st. john} nor [ony o't ' grand ladies]_{7770-ony o't ' grand ladies} . "_[0-i] And again , " If [she]_233-mary ben't one o ' th ' handsomest , [she]_233-mary 's noan faal and varry good - natured ; and [i]_0-i ' [his]_{177-st. john} een [she]_233-mary 's fair beautiful , onybody may see that . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wrote to [Moor House]_{104-moor house} and to [Cambridge]_{136-cambridge} immediately , to say what [I]_0-i had done : fully explaining also why [I]_0-i had thus acted . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary]_233-mary approved the step unreservedly . [Diana]_400-diana announced that [she]_400-diana would just give [me]_0-i time to get over the honeymoon , and then [she]_400-diana would come and see [me]_0-i . " [She]_400-diana had better not wait till then , [Jane]_146-jane , "_{[251-mr. rochester]} said [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , when [I]_0-i read [her]_400-diana letter to [him]_{251-mr. rochester} ; " if [she]_400-diana does , [she]_400-diana will be too late , for [our]_7771-our honeymoon will shine [our]_7771-our life long : its beams will only fade over [your]_146-jane grave or [mine]_0-i . "_{[251-mr. rochester]} How [St. John]_{177-st. john} received the news , [I]_0-i do n't know : [he]_{177-st. john} never answered the letter in which [I]_0-i communicated it : yet six months after [he]_{177-st. john} wrote to [me]_0-i , without , however , mentioning [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} 's name or alluding to [my]_0-i marriage . [His]_{177-st. john} letter was then calm , and , though very serious , kind . [He]_{177-st. john} has maintained a regular , though not frequent , correspondence ever since : [he]_{177-st. john} hopes [I]_0-i am happy , and trusts [I]_0-i am not of those who live without [God]_448-god in [the world]_{484-the world} , and only mind earthly things . [You]_0-i have not quite forgotten [little Adele]_259-adele , have [you]_0-i , [reader]_496-reader ? [I]_0-i had not ; [I]_0-i soon asked and obtained leave of [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} , to go and see [her]_259-adele at [the school where [he]_{251-mr. rochester} had placed [her]_259-adele]_{4249-the school where he had placed her} . [Her]_259-adele frantic joy at beholding [me]_0-i again moved [me]_0-i much . [She]_259-adele looked pale and thin : [she]_259-adele said [she]_259-adele was not happy . [I]_0-i found the rules of [the establishment]_{4599-the establishment} were too strict , its course of study too severe for [a child of]_{4251-a child of} [her]_259-adele age : [I]_0-i took [her]_259-adele [home]_509-home with [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i meant to become [[her]_259-adele governess]_{1479-her governess} once more , but [I]_0-i soon found this impracticable ; [my]_0-i time and cares were now required by another - [[my]_0-i husband]_{5014-my husband} needed them all . So [I]_0-i sought out [a school conducted on a more indulgent system , and near enough to permit of [my]_0-i visiting [her]_259-adele]_{4255-a school conducted on a more indulgent system , and near enough to permit of my visiting her} often , and bringing [her]_259-adele [home]_509-home sometimes . [I]_0-i took care [she]_259-adele should never want for anything that could contribute to [her]_259-adele comfort : [she]_259-adele soon settled in [[her]_259-adele new abode]_{1202-her new abode} , became very happy [there]_4426-there , and made fair progress in [her]_259-adele studies . As [she]_259-adele grew up , a sound English education corrected in a great measure [her]_259-adele French defects ; and when [she]_259-adele left [school]_537-school , [I]_0-i found in [her]_259-adele a pleasing and obliging companion : docile , good - tempered , and well - principled . By [her]_259-adele grateful attention to [me]_0-i and [mine]_0-i , [she]_259-adele has long since well repaid any little kindness [I]_0-i ever had it in [my]_0-i power to offer [her]_259-adele . [My]_0-i tale draws to its close : one word respecting [my]_0-i experience of married life , and one brief glance at the fortunes of [those whose names have most frequently recurred in this narrative]_{4260-those whose names have most frequently recurred in this narrative} , and [I]_0-i have done . [I]_0-i have now been married ten years . [I]_0-i know what it is to live entirely for and with what [I]_0-i love best on [earth]_478-earth . [I]_0-i hold [myself]_0-i supremely blest - blest beyond what language can express ; because [I]_0-i am [[my]_0-i husband]_{5014-my husband} 's life as fully is [he]_{5014-my husband} is [mine]_0-i . [No woman]_{1927-no woman} was ever nearer to [[her]_{1927-no woman} mate]_{4264-her mate} than [I]_0-i am : ever more absolutely bone of [his]_{5014-my husband} bone and flesh of [his]_{5014-my husband} flesh . [I]_0-i know no weariness of [[my]_0-i [Edward]_{273-mr. edward}]_{4265-my edward} 's society : [he]_{5014-my husband} knows none of [mine]_0-i , any more than [we]_4266-us each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in [our]_4266-us separate bosoms ; consequently , [we]_4266-us are ever together . To be together is for [us]_4266-us to be at once as free as in solitude , as gay as in company . [We]_4266-us talk , [I]_0-i believe , all day long : to talk to [each other]_{724-each other} is but a more animated and an audible thinking . All [my]_0-i confidence is bestowed on [him]_{5014-my husband} , all [his]_{5014-my husband} confidence is devoted to [me]_0-i ; [we]_4266-us are precisely suited in character - perfect concord is the result . [Mr. Rochester]_{251-mr. rochester} continued blind the first two years of [our]_4266-us union ; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew [us]_4266-us so very near - that knit [us]_4266-us so very close : for [I]_0-i was then [his]_{5014-my husband} vision , as [I]_0-i am still [his]_{5014-my husband} right hand . Literally , [I]_0-i was what [he]_{5014-my husband} often called [me]_0-i the apple of [his]_{5014-my husband} eye . [He]_{5014-my husband} saw nature - [he]_{5014-my husband} saw books through [me]_0-i ; and never did [I]_0-i weary of gazing for [his]_{5014-my husband} behalf , and of putting into words the effect of field , tree , [town]_5534-town , [river]_4269-river , cloud , sunbeam - of [the landscape before [us]_4266-us]_{4270-the landscape before us} ; of the weather round [us]_4266-us - and impressing by sound on [his]_{5014-my husband} ear what light could no longer stamp on [his]_{5014-my husband} eye . Never did [I]_0-i weary of reading to [him]_{5014-my husband} ; never did [I]_0-i weary of conducting [him]_{5014-my husband} where [he]_{5014-my husband} wished to go : of doing for [him]_{5014-my husband} what [he]_{5014-my husband} wished to be done . And there was a pleasure in [my]_0-i services , most full , most exquisite , even though sad - because [he]_{5014-my husband} claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation . [He]_{5014-my husband} loved [me]_0-i so truly , that [he]_{5014-my husband} knew no reluctance in profiting by [my]_0-i attendance : [he]_{5014-my husband} felt [I]_0-i loved [him]_{5014-my husband} so fondly , that to yield that attendance was to indulge [my]_0-i sweetest wishes . One morning at the end of the two years , as [I]_0-i was writing a letter to [his]_{5014-my husband} dictation , [he]_{5014-my husband} came and bent over [me]_0-i , and said - " [Jane]_146-jane , have [you]_0-i a glittering ornament round [your]_0-i neck ? "_{[5014-my husband]} [I]_0-i had a gold watch - chain : [I]_0-i answered " Yes . "_{[5014-my husband]} " And have [you]_{5014-my husband} a pale blue dress on ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had . [He]_{5014-my husband} informed [me]_0-i then , that for some time [he]_{5014-my husband} had fancied the obscurity clouding one eye was becoming less dense ; and that now [he]_{5014-my husband} was sure of it . [He]_{5014-my husband} and [I]_0-i went up to [London]_31-london . [He]_{5014-my husband} had the advice of [an eminent oculist]_{4271-an eminent oculist} ; and [he]_{5014-my husband} eventually recovered the sight of that one eye . [He]_{5014-my husband} can not now see very distinctly : [he]_{5014-my husband} can not read or write much ; but [he]_{5014-my husband} can find [his]_{5014-my husband} way without being led by the hand : the sky is no longer a blank to [him]_{5014-my husband} - [the earth]_{663-the earth} no longer a void . When [[his]_{5014-my husband} first - born]_{4273-his first - born} was put into [his]_{5014-my husband} arms , [he]_{5014-my husband} could see that [the boy]_{4274-the boy} had inherited [his]_{5014-my husband} own eyes , as they once were - large , brilliant , and black . On that occasion , [he]_{5014-my husband} again , with a full heart , acknowledged that [God]_448-god had tempered judgment with mercy . [[My]_0-i Edward]_{4265-my edward} and [I]_0-i , then , are happy : and the more so , because [those [we]_4277-we most love]_{4276-those we most love} are happy likewise . [Diana]_400-diana and [Mary Rivers]_407-mary are both married : alternately , once every year , [they]_4278-they come to see [us]_4277-we , and [we]_4277-we go to see [them]_4278-they . [[Diana]_400-diana 's husband]_{4279-diana 's husband} is [a captain in the navy]_{4280-a captain in the navy} , [a gallant officer]_{4281-a gallant officer} and [a good man]_{4605-a good man} . [Mary]_407-mary 's is [a clergyman]_{4606-a clergyman} , [a college friend of [[her]_407-mary brother]_{6047-her brother} 's]_{4284-a college friend of her brother 's} , and , from [his]_{6047-her brother} attainments and principles , worthy of the connection . Both [Captain Fitzjames]_{459-captain fitzjames} and [Mr. Wharton]_{460-mr. wharton} love [[their]_4278-they wives]_{2116-their wives} , and are loved by [them]_{2116-their wives} . As to [St. John Rivers]_{177-st. john} , [he]_{177-st. john} left [England]_21-england : [he]_{177-st. john} went to [India]_63-india . [He]_{177-st. john} entered on the path [he]_{177-st. john} had marked for [himself]_{177-st. john} ; [he]_{177-st. john} pursues it still . [A more resolute , indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks and dangers]_{4287-a more resolute , indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks and dangers} . Firm , faithful , and devoted , full of energy , and zeal , and truth , [he]_{177-st. john} labours for [his]_{177-st. john} race ; [he]_{177-st. john} clears [their]_4288-their painful way to improvement ; [he]_{177-st. john} hews down like a giant the prejudices of creed and caste that encumber it . [He]_{177-st. john} may be stern ; [he]_{177-st. john} may be exacting ; [he]_{177-st. john} may be ambitious yet ; but [his]_4289-his is the sternness of [the warrior Greatheart , who guards [[his]_{4290-the warrior greatheart , who guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of apollyon} pilgrim convoy]_{4291-his pilgrim convoy} from the onslaught of [Apollyon]_461-apollyon]_{4290-the warrior greatheart , who guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of apollyon} . [His]_4292-his is the exaction of [the apostle]_{4293-the apostle} , who speaks but for [Christ]_148-christ , when [he]_{4293-the apostle} says - " Whosoever will come after [me]_{4293-the apostle} , let [him]_{177-st. john} deny [himself]_{177-st. john} , and take up [his]_{177-st. john} cross and follow [me]_{4293-the apostle} . "_{[4293-the apostle]} [His]_4292-his is the ambition of [the high master]_{4294-the high master} - spirit , which aims to fill a place in the first rank of [those who are redeemed from [the earth]_{663-the earth} - who stand without fault before the throne of [God]_448-god]_{4295-those who are redeemed from the earth - who stand without fault before the throne of god} , who share the last mighty victories of [the Lamb , who are called , and chosen , and faithful]_{4297-the lamb , who are called , and chosen , and faithful} . [St. John]_{177-st. john} is unmarried : [he]_{177-st. john} never will marry now . [Himself]_{177-st. john} has hitherto sufficed to the toil , and the toil draws near its close : [his]_{177-st. john} glorious sun hastens to its setting . The last letter [I]_0-i received from [him]_{177-st. john} drew from [my]_0-i eyes human tears , and yet filled [my]_0-i heart with divine joy : [he]_{177-st. john} anticipated [his]_{177-st. john} sure reward , [his]_{177-st. john} incorruptible crown . [I]_0-i know that [a stranger]_{799-a stranger} 's hand will write to [me]_0-i next , to say that [the good and faithful servant]_{4299-the good and faithful servant} has been called at length into the joy of [[his]_{4299-the good and faithful servant} Lord]_{4300-his lord} . And why weep for this ? No fear of death will darken [St. John]_{177-st. john} 's last hour : [his]_{177-st. john} mind will be unclouded , [his]_{177-st. john} heart will be undaunted , [his]_{177-st. john} hope will be sure , [his]_{177-st. john} faith steadfast . [His]_{177-st. john} own words are a pledge of this - " [[My]_{177-st. john} Master]_{4336-my master} , "_{[177-st. john]} [he]_{177-st. john} says , " has forewarned [me]_{177-st. john} . Daily [He]_{177-st. john} announces more distinctly , - ' Surely [I]_{177-st. john} come quickly ! ' and hourly [I]_{177-st. john} more eagerly respond , - ' Amen ; even so come , [Lord Jesus]_416-jesus ! ' "_{[177-st. john]}